Listener Stories: Vol. 98

Summary

Podcast Summary: "And That's Why We Drink"
Episode: Listener Stories: Vol. 98
Release Date: December 1, 2024

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Introduction

In Listener Stories: Vol. 98, hosts Christine Schiefer and Em Schulz dive into a collection of gripping and eerie tales submitted by their audience. Curated meticulously by Eva, this episode blends chilling ghost stories with intense true crime narratives, all delivered with the hosts' signature humor and insightful commentary. Whether you're a seasoned listener or new to the podcast, this episode promises a captivating journey through some of the most compelling listener submissions.

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Listener Stories Overview

This episode features seven listener-submitted stories, each unraveling unique experiences that blend elements of the paranormal and true crime. From unsettling encounters with SWAT teams to haunting experiences on a cruise ship, the stories offer a diverse range of unsettling yet fascinating narratives.

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Detailed Story Summaries

1. SWAT Team Live Tweets

Submitted by Miranda (She/Her)

Miranda recounts a harrowing experience where a SWAT team unexpectedly arrives at her parents' house. The tension escalates as a live-tweeted narrative unfolds, blending real-time updates with vivid imagination.

• Key Highlights:

  • Surprise Invasion: The sudden appearance of a SWAT team leads to immediate chaos.

    Christine [10:31]: "Buckle up, Emethy, while you get swatted."

  • Emotional Turmoil: Miranda's attempts to document the event while grappling with fear.

    Em [12:10]: "Do the SWAT team just roll up, See me rolling?"

  • Aftermath: The story concludes with lingering questions about the victim's fate and the ongoing fear of infiltration.

• Notable Quote:

  Miranda [23:30]: "Thanks for reading this long ramble and everything y’all have put into the pot over the years."

2. Creepy Camping Story

Submitted by NJ (She/Her)

NJ shares a spine-chilling tale from her teenage years during a camping trip on Mount Bierstadt. The encounter with a mysterious figure in the woods turns a routine volunteer trail work expedition into a night of terror.

• Key Highlights:

  • Suspicious Encounter: The appearance of a lone individual outside their tent heightens the group's anxiety.

    NJ [26:25]: "I can't believe you volunteered to do this."

  • Desperate Measures: The group's attempts to defend themselves using flashlights as weapons.

    Christine [28:15]: "What? Get a life, you creep."

  • Police Involvement: The eventual arrival of authorities leads to a prolonged standoff, leaving lasting scars.

• Notable Quote:

  NJ [30:47]: "That’s why I drink. Love, Ash."

3. Dad’s Criminal Background

Submitted by Ash (She/Her)

Ash delves into her family's tumultuous history, highlighting how her father's criminal activities spiraled into dangerous confrontations affecting her grandmother and neighbor.

• Key Highlights:

  • Background: Ash details her father's addiction and extensive rap sheet, culminating in reckless behavior.

    Ash [33:34]: "My dad suffers from addiction and has an extensive rap sheet."

  • Violent Altercations: The tragic incident at the shooting range where Ash's father accidentally shoots a friend.

    Em [34:28]: "Oh."

  • Police Standoff: The ensuing threat leads to a 15-hour standoff with police, resulting in significant property damage and loss of life.

• Notable Quote:

  Ash [37:16]: "That’s why I drink. Love, Ash."

4. Ghostly Cruise Ship Experiences

Submitted by Michaela (They/Them)

Michaela narrates their spooky adventure aboard the Queen Mary cruise ship, where the boundary between the living and the supernatural blurs during a ghost hunt.

• Key Highlights:

  • Haunted Setting: Staying on the reputedly haunted Queen Mary sets the stage for paranormal activities.

    Michaela [38:00]: "Let me guess, Queen Mary's coming."

  • Unsettling Happenings: Repeated tapping noises and unexplained phenomena disturb the nightly peace.

    Michaela [40:33]: "It was like, the only reason that she came to the ghost hunt was because everyone else got to experience something."

  • Resolution: The experience ends without definitive supernatural encounters, leaving an eerie sense of unresolved presence.

• Notable Quote:

  Michaela [41:15]: "And shiver at the same time."

5. Youth Pastor’s Crimes

Submitted by Kylie (She/Her)

Kylie exposes the horrifying actions of her former youth pastor, PJ, who abused his position to groom and assault minors, leading to devastating consequences for the victims and their families.

• Key Highlights:

  • Initial Crimes: PJ's history of threatening behavior and reckless endangerment.

    Kylie [46:28]: "My dad suffered from addiction and has an extensive rap sheet."

  • Escalation: PJ's repeated offenses, including sexual assault of a minor under 13.

    Kylie [47:02]: "He was brought to the hotel room and sexually assaulted shortly after PJ was arrested."

  • Impact: The story underscores the trauma inflicted on the victims and the ripple effects on the community.

• Notable Quote:

  Kylie [48:56]: "That was so disturbing."

6. Man in the Ceiling at Theater

Submitted by Rachel (They/Them)

Rachel describes a mysterious intruder who lurks in the ceilings during a college theater production, blending elements of ghostly presence with potential criminal motives.

• Key Highlights:

  • Unseen Threat: The discovery of a bald man hiding in the theater's ceiling during rehearsals.

    Rachel [52:17]: "Anyone who's done live theater knows that the literal superstitions like ghost lights, Scottish play, they pale in comparison."

  • Police Intervention: The eventual removal of the intruder without disrupting the show, leaving lingering questions.

    Rachel [57:35]: "The SWAT team had to barricade the entire block."

  • Mystery Remains: Questions about the intruder's intentions and whether his presence was a result of homelessness or something more sinister.

• Notable Quote:

  Rachel [62:12]: "He was eventually removed and everyone got home safely."

7. Alien UFO Stories from an Aeronautical Engineer

Submitted by Anonymous (She/Her)

An anonymous aeronautical engineer shares credible accounts of UFO sightings and encounters, leveraging professional expertise to lend authenticity to the paranormal phenomena discussed.

• Key Highlights:

  • Credible Sources: The submitter's background in aeronautical engineering provides a reliable perspective on UFO phenomena.

    Anonymous [64:06]: "UFOs have been openly discussed in the airborne communities for decades."

  • Personal Experiences: Multiple pilots' confirmations of UFO sightings, despite their skeptical and scientific training.

    Anonymous [65:55]: "These individuals are all highly qualified, have to pass rigorous testing, and are some of the most skeptical, no nonsense people out there."

  • Public Revelation: The alignment of these stories with recent official disclosures about UFOs adds weight to the narrative.

• Notable Quote:

  Anonymous [66:44]: "No, no, no. He fled Wisconsin as soon as."

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Host Commentary and Interactions

Throughout the episode, Christine and Em engage in lively banter, reacting to each story with humor, empathy, and insightful questions. Their interactions add depth to the narratives, making the listener feel connected to the hosts' processing of each tale.

• Engaging Dialogue: The hosts often riff off each other's comments, enhancing the storytelling experience.

  Em [74:02]: "You're not aliens going home until 2:30 in the morning."

• Humorous Interjections: Light-hearted jokes balance the heavy themes of the stories.

  Christine [56:56]: "Imagine being dressed as Patrick Star, and you're like, the show must go on."

• Emotional Responses: Genuine empathy and concern highlight the seriousness of some of the more tragic stories.

  Christine [48:56]: "That was so disturbing."

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Conclusion and Sign-Offs

As the episode wraps up, Christine and Em reflect on the intense stories shared, expressing gratitude towards their listeners for their brave and honest submissions. They encourage continued storytelling and engagement, emphasizing the podcast's role as a safe space for sharing unsettling yet compelling experiences.

• Closing Remarks:

  Christine [76:38]: "Love you all so much. Can't wait to get caught up and maybe hear this."

• Upcoming Season Teasers: Hints about future episodes and themes keep listeners eager for more content.

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Notable Quotes Across the Episode

• Christine [10:31]: "Buckle up, Emethy, while you get swatted."
• Em [26:25]: "I can't believe you volunteered to do this."
• Ash [37:16]: "That’s why I drink. Love, Ash."
• Michaela [41:15]: "And shiver at the same time."
• Kylie [48:56]: "That was so disturbing."
• Rachel [62:12]: "He was eventually removed and everyone got home safely."
• Anonymous [65:55]: "These individuals are all highly qualified, have to pass rigorous testing, and are some of the most skeptical, no nonsense people out there."

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Conclusion

Listener Stories: Vol. 98 of And That's Why We Drink presents a compelling mix of ghostly encounters and true crime stories, each meticulously narrated by the hosts. Christine and Em's ability to weave humor with empathy creates an engaging atmosphere, making even the most unsettling stories resonate deeply with listeners. This episode stands out for its diverse range of submissions, each offering a unique glimpse into the darker and more mysterious aspects of human experiences.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Christine]

This episode is brought to you by Google Gemini. With the Gemini app, you can talk live and have a real time conversation with an AI assistant. It's great for all kinds of things like if you want to practice for an upcoming interview, ask for advice on things to do in a new city, or brainstorm creative ideas. And by the way, this script was actually read by Gemini. Download the Gemini app for iOS and Android today. Must be 18 to use Gemini Live. Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. You know, one of the perks about having four kids that you know about is actually getting a direct line. The big man up north. And this year he wants you to know the best gift that you can give someone is the gift of Mint Mobile's unlimited wireless for $15 a month. Now you don't even need to wrap it. Give it a [e-mail] switch. $45 upfront payment required. Equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three month plan only. Taxes and fees, extra speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited. See mintmobile.com for details. Christmas time is here. Thank you for attending our annual Christmas mass.

[Em]

Oh, what is our. What is our body and blood of Christ?

[Christine]

Well, actually, I'm following the Catholic tradition by drinking the blood right here. Oh, just do a little transubstantiation and. Ooh, type O.

[Em]

Delicious. If you had to be like, if you had to like, what is your body of Christ and your blood of Christ? Like it like my, like my blood of Christ.

[Christine]

Of Christine.

[Em]

Of Christine. Like if I had to pick for myself, My blood of Christ is Dr. Pepper.

[Christine]

Oh, good. That would be a contender.

[Em]

My body of Christ.

[Christine]

Jesus already took wine.

[Em]

My body of Christ I think would be a really good baked Mac and cheese or a chocolate covered strawberry. That's today. Mac and cheese. Baked Mac and cheese. What would your body and blood be?

[Christine]

It's starting to sound a lot like also your death row meal. You know, maybe there is a crossover there. Yeah. I would say food wise it would probably be like mustard or something very.

[Em]

That's a drink.

[Christine]

That's the drink that's the blood is mustard.

[Em]

Just a shot of mustard. It's the most German thing I've ever heard you say. My number one food is mustard.

[Christine]

I.

[Em]

That's not even solid.

[Christine]

I used to say it was my favorite food. I like to eat it. Okay, fine.

[Em]

A mustard coated. What? Like if you're putting mustard on on anything in the world, what's it gonna be?

[Christine]

I don't know. I don't like a hot dog. No, I don't eat hot dogs. I just like mustard cereal.

[Em]

I don't know with you anymore.

[Christine]

I don't either. Quite frankly, this could be a dangerous game of roulette we're playing. Just given me ideas. No, the. But I don't know the answer because my brain is still figuring out some stuff about, you know, my. Sorry. I literally have had one sip of a boxed wine and I'm already like, thank God I had. Was able to.

[Em]

The dopamine is firing on all cylinders.

[Christine]

I'm finally like, okay, it's. We're settling in now for an actual episode. I'm ready. You know, I don't know, because Jesus was pretty selfish when he took the wine away as his option, knowing how much I would like it someday, being omniscient and all.

[Em]

I can give you Dr. Pepper. I can pick London Fog.

[Christine]

Oh, that's nice. Oh, that was. That's thoughtful, but I don't want to do that to you because I know you love your D. Pepe. What about. What if I take cherry Pepe?

[Em]

Okay, that's fine. It's like. It's like we have similar blood types.

[Christine]

Oh, my God. It's like I'm a B positive and you're a B.

[Em]

Wait, I'm B. I'm a B minus.

[Christine]

I'm an A B positive, which I think is only 4% of the population.

[Em]

I actually think I'm B positive.

[Christine]

And I thought that was really special. And then I found out that it makes it really hard to receive blood transfusions. So I was like, oh, never mind. That's not really a good thing.

[Em]

Yeah, no, I'm pretty sure. You know what's so wild? I had a feeling my whole life that I was B positive. Just a weird feeling. Like I never knew what my blood type was. I. Anytime I asked.

[Christine]

That is some weird sort of sorcery.

[Em]

And then I finally found out and I'm. I'm be positive.

[Christine]

Maybe you remembered it from. Maybe it was your earliest memory, you know, pricked your foot.

[Em]

But then I always heard that, like, people based on, like have different dietary things based on blood type. Is that true or. No, that's bullshit. Okay.

[Christine]

Because someone was like, at least it's. It's. It's like a. It's like a. Somewhat of a fringe. What's the word? That's like, where. It's like pseudo. It's a little pseudoscience. I think. I think there might be some truth to it. And I'm not trying to belittle any or disparage anyone who goes by those. But I've, I've done quite a bit of research myself trying to figure out different allergies and things. And I think for the most part, it's hard to really catch a call.

[Em]

Because someone was like, oh, your favorite foods are steak and milk, like meat and cheese, like meat and berries.

[Christine]

You're a red blooded USDA American.

[Em]

Also, someone was like, you're obviously an oh. And I went, oh, okay. I didn't know. So my whole life I felt like I was a B positive, but I was like, someone said something about, oh, because I really like steak.

[Christine]

And that's what Eleanor Roosevelt said. Like, don't ever let anyone. You can't let anyone let you think you're a different blood type without your permission.

[Em]

Did she really say that?

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Em]

Oh, that's a nice sentence. Okay.

[Christine]

I mean, obviously I paraphrased, but okay.

[Em]

Yeah. She also said don't let your. Your. Don't let anyone dim your sparkle. I heard her say something like that one time.

[Christine]

That was her. Oh, okay. Makes a lot of sense. She did have quite a positive attitude. And it be positive attitude if you.

[Em]

Don'T say and it makes positive. It's. It makes sense. It makes positive because I sparkle most when there is steak in front of me.

[Christine]

You do get pretty sweaty meat sweats. That's true.

[Em]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Hello, welcome to our episode. It is now beginning. It's called and that's why we drink, we read. Well, first of all, this is not our normal. This is like a fun thing we do on the side. Hey, let's start over. Pretend like we just met at the bowling ball. Sorry. Sip 2 is kicking in now and I feel, I'm feeling. I'm feeling wild. Okay. All right. As a cat owner, and I know many of us are, cats can have what I like to call an attitude problem. But what I guess Pretty Litter calls being picky. We've gone through so many different types of cat litters over the years and the best for us by far is Pretty Litter. And I would love to tell you why. Pretty Litter's non clumping formula traps odor and moisture. It's ultra absorbent, it's lightweight, low dust, and one six pound bag works for up to a month. That's for real. This is probably M's favorite fun fact changes color to show potential early signs of illnesses.

[Em]

It is my favorite fun fact. It indicates signs like urinary tract infections, kidney issues and more. And you know, I love a little science project with where the kitties are making their peeps and poops.

[Christine]

And if that wasn't enough, Pretty litter ships free right to our door and, you know, no longer love lugging those tubs around.

[Em]

Pretty litter is amazing. You have to try it. Go to pretty litter.com ATWD to save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy. That's PrettyLittleitter.com to save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy. Prettylitter.com and conditions apply. C site for details.

[Christine]

Welcome to and that's where you drink Listener episodes. And so every month on the first of the month, we. We do sing a seasonal song if it's appropriate, which is why I started with the most appropriate song for this season. And we read stories sent in by you that Eva has hand curated for us. A little moose bouche, a little charcuterie. She's crafted a beautiful orchestra of stories for us to read. And this time, she picked seven of them and said, they are the vague. The vague, thorough. The vague through line was crime. So. Merry Christmas.

[Em]

A lot of blood. A positive, B positive, and O.

[Christine]

And what was Jesus's blood all about? Who even knows anywhere?

[Em]

You know, they always talk about the blood of Jesus. What blood type was he? What do you think?

[Christine]

I already told you. I literally announced it earlier. So now you tell me.

[Em]

Maybe it was an O. I think I forgot. I think I was like.

[Christine]

And he liked steak so much, I just figured it had to be an O.

[Em]

That makes. Yeah, well, that's what Eleanor said, too, so.

[Christine]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Em]

Okay.

[Christine]

Who's Eleanor Roosevelt? Oh, I thought that was the person who told you you're an O. I was like, what a bitch. Who's this Eleanor? I'm gonna tell her to mind her own goddamn beeswax about what diet you should eat. Okay.

[Em]

Wow.

[Christine]

I got really defensive for you. I'm sorry. Just know I'd fight for you. Even Eleanor Roosevelt. I would. I would.

[Em]

Thank you.

[Christine]

Clock her a good one.

[Em]

I don't think you'd recognize her on the street, so it'd be easy to.

[Christine]

Fight her because you wouldn't feel bad in the kisser.

[Em]

The power, intimidation.

[Christine]

Punch somebody else, probably by accident. And it wouldn't end well. So I would ask that you not request that of me. But I would do it if you needed me to.

[Em]

Thank you.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Em]

We have seven stories this time. Do you want to go first or.

[Christine]

Yeah, sure. I should probably talk about something else.

[Em]

Okay.

[Christine]

For once. Okay.

[Em]

Great.

[Christine]

This is. Oh, dear. Okay, just open the link again because somehow I Lost it. This one's called SWAT Team Live tweets. Oh, my gosh. This is like M's. I feel like this feels like M's dream come true. Like to be like, live tiktoking some event or like, be like, on the ground as some event is unfolding and you're. You're on social media.

[Em]

Oh, seeing someone get swatted.

[Christine]

Yeah, something like that, I assume.

[Em]

Oh, I hate this. I hate this. I mean, yes, I would for the drama. I obviously want to be involved distantly, but.

[Christine]

Yeah, well, yeah, that's what I mean. Just live tweeting wise. Not like. Not like there.

[Em]

Yeah, but nothing scares me quite like the idea of getting spotted.

[Christine]

I mean, infiltration could happen, that home infiltration thing. All right.

[Em]

Yeah, and everyone watching too, so it's a little embarrassing. They haven't done anything. Anyway, carry on, please. I can't wait to hear.

[Christine]

Hello to the Menagerie, by the way. This is from Miranda. She her. Thank you, Miranda. My name is Miranda. She her. And I'm writing this story from my parents basement while I. Okay. All right. Buckle up, Emethy, while you get swatted.

[Em]

What?

[Christine]

While I wait for the SWAT team that just showed up to finish whatever the fuck they're doing next door.

[Em]

First of all, Miranda, I love that the second the SWAT team was there, you went, hold on, I have to. I have to write.

[Christine]

I have to call my friends real quick. Wait, I don't have a phone number. Let me just email them.

[Em]

I like how you had enough time to maybe do a deep sigh and an eye roll and you know exactly what needs to happen now.

[Christine]

Oh, my God. I knew this day would come when I have to tell them immediately what's happening.

[Em]

Okay, also.

[Christine]

Also really embarrassing for me. The moment I started reading, I was like, why are you in your parents basement? And now I'm like, oh, there's a. Like. Not that I'm judging as someone who lived in my parents attic for many years, but it's just like. I was like, what? Okay, you don't have to.

[Em]

Oh, my gosh.

[Christine]

Anyway, now I get it. I get why I was here for what was supposed to be a quick visit. Oh, so you weren't even, like, living there? You just came over? You just popped by.

[Em]

Popped over.

[Christine]

Okay, so then they kind of just rolled up. Okay, do the.

[Em]

Do. Do this. Does the SWAT team just roll up, See me rolling? I feel like the SWAT team just sprints everywhere.

[Christine]

I feel like they're actually contained almost like. Like a pressure canister. And then when it's like open. Like the. Like the seal is broken. They all just like rush out.

[Em]

Actually, I kind of know what you mean.

[Christine]

Like spider eggs.

[Em]

Like a Trojan horse or something.

[Christine]

Yes. Or a spider.

[Em]

Spider eggs, where it's like.

[Christine]

And then they're everywhere and they're swarming.

[Em]

Yeah, I do know what you mean. Yeah.

[Christine]

But also your thing too.

[Em]

No, I think you're more right that they just kind of scurry. The second that they have the freedom.

[Christine]

There'S like one opening, and then they all kind of just. They scatter. I don't like it. An officer popped by to tell us to go downstairs and not come outside, which was polite of him. And because I'm a theater kid with no sense of self preservation, I'm posted up in eyesight of the closest window, emailing you about it. I mean, well done. Miranda is a soldier on the ground for us.

[Em]

Also, I'm honored that we were your first thoughts.

[Christine]

I mean, literally so honored.

[Em]

Not even your own friends. You're just like, I know exactly who needs to hear about this.

[Christine]

I mean, we're your friend. I mean, we are your friends. But, yes, I do get what you're saying. Yes. Like, this is actually. We're skipping straight to the top. Yes, it's noodles all the way to the top.

[Em]

All the way.

[Christine]

So far, it's just one SWAT truck and a few. Oh, so this is the live tweet. I'm sorry. It took me a while to understand. As this email continues, we're getting live updates.

[Em]

This is beautiful.

[Christine]

Like, as time travelers. Basically, we would be getting live updates. Okay, I posted up an eyesight of the closest window, emailing you about it. So far, it's just one SWAT truck and a few patrol cars. I heard a loud bang a couple of minutes ago, which I'm assuming was them entering the house.

[Em]

Oh, my God.

[Christine]

I have no live tweet style updates. Besides that. So in the meantime, how about a ghost story? Oh, okay. That ended quickly. I was like, buckle up for the live tweets.

[Em]

We gave that a lot of energy for it to just come halting.

[Christine]

I really built that up. You got to know that I was going to do that. Miranda, did you do that on purpose?

[Em]

Okay, you really wanted to get our attention. Attention you got.

[Christine]

You know what you want to get my goat is what you wanted to get. I don't even know what that means. My parents, but not by anyone malevolent. In fact, I think it's just the spirit of a kindly old man. When I was little, like Five, maybe quite small. I thought my grandfather lived with us because he was always around. He. I love those stories when you hear kids be like, I just thought he lived in our house.

[Em]

And I'm like, which that's precious on its own. Like, I can't imagine thicker proof of something paranormal than like literally seeing a person around all the time if they were in another president and being like.

[Christine]

Everyone can see this, I'm sure of it. Yeah, yeah.

[Em]

I mean, imagine how crazy you looked and, and sounded to other people though later when you finally asked about the.

[Christine]

Guy that lived for a decade, right?

[Em]

And they're like, and what do you. What do you fucking mean? He's never.

[Christine]

First of all, stop.

[Em]

My eyes deceive.

[Christine]

And also I like the idea like, where did he live? And then as you say it out loud, you kind of realize you're like, he lived in the floorboards. Hang on a second. This is starting to not make sense. Something not quite adding up. I, I really. Nobody ever spoke to him. And he was missing his lower jawbone anyway. I guess that wasn't grandpa. Okay. Anyway, I thought my grandfather.

[Em]

The way that your brain just comes up with words is amazing. Just draw. Jawbone. Being so quick to, to the, to the frontal lobes.

[Christine]

Thank you so much. I've worked really long and conjuring the most upsetting, intrusive imagery and being able to verbalize it is kind of a skill I'm working on.

[Em]

So truly, I mean, I don't know. I don't know anything more frightening than the things that are just at the precipice.

[Christine]

They're like ready. They're like, they're right. When you need them, you just let me know. Em.

[Em]

Like, Like a spider egg. They just wait.

[Christine]

Yeah, I forgot I already said that also. Okay, I'm sorry. This is getting darker than intended. All right. Right. So this guy, he's old enough to have fully white hair, but not so old that he appeared frail. He had gold wire rimmed glasses and always wore a red and black flannel blue jeans and boots. He would often be out in my backyard when I came out to play. Or sitting on the end of my.

[Em]

Bed without his jawbone.

[Christine]

Oh, no. Like a spider egg just flapping up in his jawbone. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry. I regret that. Oh my. I remember that we talked and that he was very nice, but I can't remember what he sounded like or what we talked about. I was very small, so it never occurred to me that I never saw him Open or close a door. Okay, so that's the thing is like, you're a kid, so you don't question it and your brain doesn't step in and say, that's not physics.

[Em]

Oh, my God.

[Christine]

What?

[Em]

In that. In that moment, my doordash got here.

[Christine]

In that moment, a huge gust of wind blew a tree branch into my window. And I like, glanced at you and then saw movement and I thought, this is the end.

[Em]

No, truly, like my. I don't want to like triangulate myself if. But my window to the outside is like right here.

[Christine]

Right.

[Em]

And then all of a sudden, a whole ass person.

[Christine]

Oh, hell no.

[Em]

It's not even a little window. It was. The whole person was now sitting next to me.

[Christine]

Oh, no, no. That feels very Black Eyed Kids and Slender man all at once.

[Em]

Oh, my God.

[Christine]

Okay, so she's never seen this guy close a door, but it never really occurred to her because she's like five. Yeah, yeah. Also never pushed her on the swing. Never talked to anyone else. Never changed his clothes and then said though to fair, my dad had a rotation of six flannels that looked all the same because he's a dad, so. Yeah, it got past you. I get that.

[Em]

I get that.

[Christine]

It wasn't until I told my mom about something grandpa said.

[Em]

Oh, my God.

[Christine]

That she reminded me that both of my grandfathers died decades before I was born. That would be scary in a true crime sense. Like, grandpa said this and it's like, who's talking to you and saying they're your grandpa? I don't know. I would just be so worried.

[Em]

I also wonder if as a kid she ever asked any questions and he just kind of. This guy just kind of silenced her. Like, don't worry about that.

[Christine]

Yeah, yeah.

[Em]

She never even thought about it again. Like, oh, yeah, he doesn't open doors.

[Christine]

And like, let's get back to Vietnam. My thing I was talking about. I'm.

[Em]

I don't.

[Christine]

This is not story. Question and answer time.

[Em]

It's nice that he was nice. Maybe that's why she got away with it for so long though. Of like, he was mentioning it. Yeah.

[Christine]

Maybe if he wasn't causing any trouble actively. It was like, well, he's just around.

[Em]

Yeah. If he was like, scary, then it would maybe freak around. She would say something to her mom.

[Christine]

Right.

[Em]

It was just like, oh, nice grandpa who lives with us. Why would I even mention him?

[Christine]

And every now and then he just like sits in the backyard while I swing. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, it doesn't Seem like a threat. Which also sounds like how your grandpa like made sure not to scare you when he appeared. Like it didn't scare you.

[Em]

Yeah, it sounds like he was. I mean, I don't know, maybe this was like something darker, but it seems like he just wanted a buddy and like you were the only one who could see him and so you just kind of hung out together.

[Christine]

That's what it sounds like to me too. Which is actually really sweet. It wasn't until I told my mom about something grandpa said that she reminded me that both of my grandpas were dead. They died decades before I was born. I remember her showing me pictures of both of them and being confused because neither of. Oh, so when she found out both her grandpas were dead, she was confused because neither of them were the grandpa that lived with her. And she's like, that's weird. They don't look like she's like, surely.

[Em]

There'S a third grandson telling me about.

[Christine]

I mean, and if you're in MSI situation, you probably have 17 grandfathers running around out there.

[Em]

I do have like seven.

[Christine]

Me too. Yeah, they're everywhere. In ghost form too. In ghost and real. I don't remember what she said in response, but she never asked any follow up questions or brought it up herself ever again. Classic parent move. I stopped seeing him after a while, but I still remember him very clearly. And my parents house is still haunted. It's nothing terribly spooky, just the occasional set of footsteps up the stairs when no one is home. A couple of murmurs that sounds like someone's talking in the other room. But mostly just a feeling that someone's home. You know when you walk in somewhere and you can kind of tell that other people are home and that you should call out a hello. It's that feeling. Wow, that is a really cool way to look at it.

[Em]

Yeah.

[Christine]

I like to think it's still my not grandpa who has watched my brother and me grow up and start our own lives. Okay, ghost story over the neighbors outside and in handcuffs. This is the most Emma Christine text conversation. This feels like us tech facetiming a.

[Em]

Story within a story. I feel like we just got pulled out of like the like.

[Christine]

Oh yeah. The flashback or the dreams. Yeah, yeah.

[Em]

And it's like okay, back to me now. It's like when. When Kuzco is rain is crying in the rain.

[Christine]

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.

[Em]

It's like. Okay, now back to this. There is a SWAT team and I am in my parents basement and.

[Christine]

And I am Crying and I am a llama. Well, that's not part of it. Okay, ghost story over the neighbors outside and in handcuffs. I still have no idea what's happening, but there was no gunfire and things seem to be wrapping up peacefully. I'll update when I get details. Enter, enter. Line Enter, enter. Oh, fuck. It's been two years, yo. This is the most commitment of anybody. Sorry, I know that you said it was. You forgot for two years, but, like, to come back to it two years later is. That shows even more strength, I think, than doing.

[Em]

I would have just deleted it and been like, oh, I never sent it.

[Christine]

I would have never thought about it again.

[Em]

But okay, but that's. That's one of my favorite things about time travel is that, like, it took two years for you to write this story. From the beginning of. From the beginning of the email to the end of the email took you two years. But for us, it all happened in a moment. Isn't that just, like, so crazy? I know that's the dumbest thing I could say right now. It always blows my mind.

[Christine]

And in the two years that. In the two years that you spent, like, kind of coming back to this email, like, so much was moving and shifting and happening, and now we're all just at one point in time.

[Em]

That's beautiful.

[Christine]

Yeah, I really like that. M. Ah, it's been two years. The damn ADHD's got me again. This is already so long. I'm so sorry, but I have SWAT neighbor updates finally.

[Em]

Can you imagine if it's been going on for two years and this is.

[Christine]

Literally the, like, way I need people to understand that. I text them, like, oh, sorry, it's been six years since we talked last. How are you?

[Em]

Sorry, I just. Just waking up to this.

[Christine]

Just waking up to this. Totally forgot to respond.

[Em]

Which, like, why did you. Where you must have, like, not checked your drafts for two years or something to realize that this was just sitting.

[Christine]

Well, I wonder if it was one of those things where you, like, start something and then you're like, oh, I gotta send that email. And, like, for a while, maybe it's on your to do list. But then over time, it, like, falls off, but it's still kind of there. And then one day you think like, oh, I never sent that SWAT story. You know, I wonder if it was like, I wonder if we were haunting you for those two years.

[Em]

Just know that it was all worth it.

[Christine]

It was okay. Apparently the neighbor was in active psychosis and got into a road rage inc. He ended up following the other person in the altercation and when he got out of his car, the neighbor shot him before taking off and going back to his house next door to my parents. I never found out whether the shooting victim survived, but if SWAT showed up, I worry about the answer to that. Thanks for reading this long ramble and everything y'all have put into the pot over the years. I've been listening since 2018 and it's been such fun getting to listen to your stories emerge and to hear you all blossom. Your long time listeners are so proud of you. Keep up the good work. Much love from a fellow chaos gremlin. Miranda wow. Wow wow wow.

[Em]

You did it. You never have to email us again.

[Christine]

I know. You really nailed it. There wasn't even like a story for another day. You put them all in one.

[Em]

You said another year, don't know another year.

[Christine]

Fuck off with that.

[Em]

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[Christine]

They do mean it. And I've learned this firsthand. Thankfully, you could say bye bye to your overpriced wireless plans, jaw dropping monthly bills and unexpected overages because Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with premium wireless plans starting at just 15 bucks a month. And by the way, all plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. I have several friends who who use Mint Mobile as their primary phone provider. We have it actually is our and that's why we Drink provider for our iPad. And it's so so nice at the live shows because I often get on stage and realize I never hooked up to the WI fi. But now that I've got actual service for only 15 bucks a month on the iPad, I can pull the script up anywhere. So it's been a huge huge game.

[Em]

Changer to get this new customer offer and your new three month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month. Go to mintmobile.com drink that's mintmobile.com drink cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com Dr. $45 upfront.

[Christine]

Payment required equivalent to 15amonth. New customers on first three month plan only speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan Additional taxes fees. Anderson's Apply CMIT Mobile for details.

[Em]

Wow. Thank you Miranda. This is from nj who uses she her pronouns. Thank you for normalizing pronouns. Nj and the subject line is creepy ass. Camping story.

[Christine]

No, I don't. You don't? I don't like it. Camping. No.

[Em]

NJ says I have listened to you guys since 2018 and have wanted to send in this story forever. So six years later, my procrastinating ass has finally gotten around to it.

[Christine]

That's the secret theme. Eva.

[Em]

Is that the theme this time around? That everything is just very incredibly Holy shit Delayed?

[Christine]

Do you think Eva's trying to give us a message?

[Em]

I get it. I procrastinate. I get it.

[Christine]

I get it. Our Slack notifications are I get it through the roof.

[Em]

Okay, I'll try and condense this wild story best I can. When I was 16 I went with my camp group to do volunteer trail work on Mount Bierstadt, one of the Fourteeners here in Colorado. I arrived to a half circle Poland camping camping ground right off the road just a few miles down from the trailhead around 8pm or so. The plan was to sleep there so that way we could be we could be at the trail to start work by 6:30 in the morning. I can't believe you volunteered to do this.

[Christine]

Oh my God.

[Em]

When when we arrived, our counselors, who are probably a few years older than us, go to the neighboring campsite to let the folks know that we are here as a camp group. We'll try and keep it down. When they got back they told us it was a group of young guys on vacation from Italy and to make sure to stay in our space aka don't go flirt with the 20 year old Italian.

[Christine]

Oh, and that's hard because they are.

[Em]

Flirtatious and yikes, they're 20 and you're 16. But also I remember being 16 and.

[Christine]

Oh, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. I mean to me, to the, at.

[Em]

The, at that age, the 16 year olds. Yeah. That night it was me and two of my friends in the tent closest to the neighboring campsite. Our tent was pretty shitty and the rain fly didn't fully cover the mesh windows and since we were all 16 we were staying up way too late talking when all of a sudden my friend B whispers holy shit, there's someone outside the tent.

[Christine]

Nope.

[Em]

Then there's another person. S. Which I love that this is Serena and Blair, obviously. When S and I turn to look, we are both able to faintly make out in the dark, a figure in a hoodie crouched down peering in at us through the gap in the rainfly off. I tell my friends that we should scream for help to wake up the counselors. S goes, no. If we scream, he'll totally stab us.

[Christine]

No, I think in that moment.

[Em]

I don't know in that way. Like I don't even know what the right thing is.

[Christine]

Because I don't either. Because S would scare me straight in a minute. But I also think screaming is probably the thing that will startle them the most. Right?

[Em]

I don't know what the right thing is.

[Christine]

I don't either. I think it just depends.

[Em]

We lay there, whisper, screaming at one another, flipping out for a while. I grab my bigger metal flashlight and decide I'll use it as a weapon if he tries to come in for at least an hour or so. The three of us sit back to the back, watching and crying as he circles the tent, drifting in and out of the trees as he wanders around before finally leaving.

[Christine]

What? Get a life, you creep.

[Em]

A little while after he's left and we calm down a bit, B lets us know she has to pee. Well, B, piss your pants. I don't know what to tell you.

[Christine]

Piss in my flashlight, I don't care. But don't go out there. Gosh.

[Em]

Use that rain gap that doesn't exist.

[Christine]

For real. For real. Pee out the flap.

[Em]

There was no way in hell we were letting her go pee in the woods after that. So she opens a tent and pees like two feet outside while us and I are on standby with our flashlight weapons. Which wild, by the way. Like, I know this is like. Not like. It's just the irony of like being scared that this guy was going to do something and then dropping trial right.

[Christine]

Outside the tent, like moments later, like mooning him immediately. It's actually kind of a power move.

[Em]

It's a very dominant move in the rush. B accidentally pissed all over her own sweatpants. So piss her pants.

[Christine]

No, not a power move anymore.

[Em]

So she took them off and let them. Left them outside in the tent. Which part of me is already worried? Because isn't that like the scent? Like a bear could smell or something? Something anyway.

[Christine]

He smell. I don't know.

[Em]

I tell my friends to get some sleep and I'll sit guard all night. That would have been me because I'm not going to bed, obviously.

[Christine]

Yeah, forget it.

[Em]

Around 4am I start to drift off. Drift off. But violently woke up to the tarp flying off the roof of the tent while I heard my mother screaming my name.

[Christine]

What? Sorry, that was so loud.

[Em]

What The I jumped up ready, but whatever was around sounded like it slunk back into the woods. Finally, the sun crested and I got maybe an hour of sleep before we got up and got ready to go. When we got up, the pair of pants B had peed on were gone. And the backpacks near our tent had been rifled through and all the bras and underwear were missing.

[Christine]

God.

[Em]

We then proceeded to tell our counselors about our night. They went over to confront the group next to us since they were the only other people at the grounds that night. But when they got back, they told us the campsite was completely empty and the car was fully open and on. Anyway, we complete. We complete our volunteer work and just kind of move on. But almost a week later, I finally get home and my mom asked me if anything happened on that specific night. She told me she woke up at around 4am screaming my name and felt like something was wrong and I was in danger. Oh, my God. So your mom woke you up, like Astral woke you up in time.

[Christine]

Oh, my God. And the craziest part is your mom didn't even know. Like, she didn't even like, see a vision of you that she just was like, I just woke up screaming your name out of my own control. And it just. Higher powers, something.

[Em]

Wow.

[Christine]

Wow.

[Em]

And I mean, I've said this one before, but that reminds me of Deirdre's stepmom story where she, like, her and her daughter both had the dreams from different perspectives that someone was going to break into the house and hurt them.

[Christine]

Yes. Oh, so disturbing.

[Em]

It's so weird that, like the power of like a mother, child and dream. Dream versions of them.

[Christine]

Yeah, that. That consciously neither of them even realize.

[Em]

Yeah. Wow. That's it. That's. That's pretty much it. That's it. So me.

[Christine]

That got me good.

[Em]

Wow. Well done. That was, in fact, terrifying. So once again, we choose the bear every time because they just grabbed all your. And then ran away.

[Christine]

Yeah, well, not all your.

[Em]

Just, just.

[Christine]

Just this under your underwear.

[Em]

Just the intimate ones. Yeah.

[Christine]

Gross. I found Zoc, Doc. Probably before most people did. It was many, many, many years ago when I first moved to LA and.

[Em]

I realized you introduced it to me.

[Christine]

I did. Oh, I love that. Okay.

[Em]

That's how I got my propranolol.

[Christine]

Oh, that's right. Because that's how I found my. Oh, my gosh. See, it's the gift of giving. Or it's the gift of giving. That's nothing. ZocDoc is amazing and a game changer. Especially for people who don't like to make phone calls or feel overwhelmed booking doctor's appointments. Zocdoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors. Choose the right one for your needs and click to instantly book an appointment.

[Em]

We're talking about in network appointments with more than a hundred thousand healthcare providers across every specialty from mental health to dental health, eye care to skin care, and much more. Plus, Zocdoc appointments happen fast, typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. And you can even score same day.

[Christine]

Appointments like we did when we were in a propranolol emergency.

[Em]

That's exactly right. Thank you to Zocdoc. Otherwise I would have never gotten propranol rental as quickly as I did my.

[Christine]

Phone anxiety for leading me down that path. So stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com drink to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's z o c-o c.com drink zocdoc.com drink okay, this was sent in by Ash. She, her and the subject is my dad's criminal background. The gift that keeps on giving. All right, I like it already. Hey, Team Lemon. I'm going to skip the intro because this could be a bit long, but this is the story of how my dad's criminal background ultimately led to my grandma and her neighbor being held at gunpoint. Okay. Led to a police standoff. But first, some background. Heads up. I'm from North Dakota, so everyone in the story owns a damn gun. My dad suffers from addiction and has an extensive rap sheet. However, most of his life he got away with low level misdemeanors. That was until 2007 when he threatened his girlfriend and ended up with a temporary restraining order. On August 17, he went on to violate this restraining order by buying a high powered handgun. That day.

[Em]

Oh, that day. He couldn't wait, could he?

[Christine]

That day. That's so disturbing. He then went to the shooting range with two friends. For the sake of the story, I'll refer to them as A and P. A got into a struggle with my father, trying to take the weapon from him, and P tried to break up the struggle. P was shot in the leg during this incident by my dad. It was ruled an accidental shooting, but it was still considered reckless endangerment. I don't know if it was really an accident or not. My dad has always had a temper and hates when he doesn't get his way. He was sentenced to three counts of reckless endangerment and one count of disobedience of a judicial order, but did over 200 days of time waiting for his hearing. So by the time the hearing came around, he was given credit and got out almost immediately on probation. He connected again with the girlfriend who had previously had the restraining order against him that year, 2008. And this relationship was tumultuous. One night they were fighting and he ended up threatening to kill himself. Her and her son, who was a minor.

[Em]

Oh.

[Christine]

This was more than enough to violate his probation, and he was sentenced to one year for each violation, racking himself up four years of time. He later got out on some weird appeal and now pretends like that means he was wrongly convicted. He wasn't someone just up in the court system. Anyway, he made some interesting friends in prison. Well, one of these friendships was with Brandon Lyon, who he later recommended to my grandmother, who was looking for someone to do work on her home in 2015. I'm not sure if he was even qualified, but she hired him. My grandma and her neighbor Tom and the tm, this is in parentheses and the TM is that they were definitely dating, but refused to acknowledge it out loud to anyone, insisting on calling him her neighbor or friend. But they were.

[Em]

Thank you for knowing that's exactly what I wanted. Thank you.

[Christine]

I did see earlier they wrote neighbor in quotes and I was like, oh, maybe that means he lives across the street, not next door. No, it meant that they're apparently. Okay. Tom. My neighbor grandma and Tom were in their home one day when lion showed Tom that he could get into my grandmother's gun case without breaking the glass or damaging the lock. He started to say he was going to take my grandma's gun and her five dogs to go hunting. But eventually, and I don't know how, things took a turn and he pointed the gun at Tom's face. Oh, he told my grandma she could leave, but said he wouldn't let Tom leave and that he was going to take him out.

[Em]

Oh.

[Christine]

Tom and my grandma made a run for it out the back patio to Tom's house two doors down, where they called the police.

[Em]

Good.

[Christine]

The police and SWAT again. SWAT team had to barricade the entire block and proceeded. And they told this one girl to go downstairs into her parents basement and away from her.

[Em]

And then she live tweeted us, yeah.

[Christine]

That would be so trippy. That would be the police and SWAT to barricade the entire block and proceeded to have an exhaustive 15 hour standoff with the man. Eventually, the Windows were broken and the house was tear gassed with 27 rounds of gas.

[Em]

My God.

[Christine]

Effectively destroyed everything in the house, including lots of my late grandpa's war memorabilia. Rumor is his journal may have survived, but it's been lost at this point and I'll probably never get to read it anyway. The man had an extensive violent record and was given a life sentence for these crimes. My grandma and Tom have both passed on now, and so the details of the story are just from memory, but it's one of many police altercations that happen at that home. Maybe one time I'll write about the time I went to my cousin's house and got a call from my mother that my dad had fled the house after physically fighting with my stepmom, and how my stepmom ended up in a separate police chase later that night. Until then, this is why I drink. Love, Ash.

[Em]

Okay, you need to write a novel.

[Christine]

Get it together.

[Em]

That's a lot of twists and turns that we didn't even cover. We didn't even unpack.

[Christine]

I, I, we didn't even have time to unpack at all. This is a saga.

[Em]

Yeah, that would have been very funny if they both swat instances. Wouldn't that be the same instance?

[Christine]

I know, I know.

[Em]

Well, thank you for your story. We have another one that's from Ash, right?

[Christine]

Yes.

[Em]

Ash. This is from Michaela. And we don't know Michaela's pronouns. Oh. So we're gonna go with they, them. And their subject line is tap, tap, tap. Or how m saved me from a ghost.

[Christine]

Oh, geez. What could that possibly mean?

[Em]

Oh, what's happening to my head? Oh, it's growing.

[Christine]

It's ballooning. Help. Help.

[Em]

Oh, gosh. Michaela says, hey, Eva. And if this gets spread on the actual pod. Hey, M, Christine. And the hole. And that's how I drink, gang. My little family, along with my husband's family, went on a cruise this past August. And this is only crucial to the story as it had everything to do with where my mother in law decided to book our hotel the night before we were leaving out of a port in California. And she hates California traffic, so she wanted to stay in a hotel as close to the port as possible. Let me guess, Queen Mary's coming. So she was proud of herself as she found a hotel that was actually a boat docked in the same port as the one we needed to be at. And we are staying at the Queen Mary. Yes. Apparently before making the reservation, she checked with my husband, my brother in law, and my sister in Law to make sure that these comet these accommodations were acceptable. Only Mick, my brother in law knew about the ship's reputation, but he kept his mouth shut thinking it would be funny. Me, I was apparently the last one to know the plans and I about myself with excitement when my husband told me we were staying there. So I broke the news to everyone that we were staying on a haunted ship and that I had every intention of trying to do a ghost hunt when I was there. So fast forward to the day of and we get to our rooms and I'm ready for this hunt. The rest of the family decided to join me, save for my mother in law and father in law who decided to watch the kids. They were like, no thank you. So it's me, my husband, my sister in law, her husband and my brother in law with a few other strangers exploring the boat. It was exciting and the boat is beautiful and super creepy. I'm sad to say that we didn't encounter much, just a few flickering lights. But overall, I was still happy that I tried. Once back in mine and my husband's room, I stood in the middle of the room and said, I don't know if any ghosts followed us back to our room, but I would like to say, no thank you, we need to go to sleep. Sleep. You know, I love saying it is.

[Christine]

A literal m quote, go, no thank you. No thank you.

[Em]

No thank you.

[Christine]

It works, you guys. It works.

[Em]

It does. I just go, that's. I see and I acknowledge, but no thank you. My husband made fun of me for my proclamation and we both went to bed. The next morning I knocked on my sister in law's door, which is directly across from mine, to see if she wanted to get coffee with me. Now, my sister in law is a pretty early riser, so I was surprised at how tired she looked. She told me that all night she kept hearing tapping on the door. I asked her to elaborate and she said it was just a tap, tap, tap. Like when you want to. Like when you want to knock but aren't sure if anyone is awake. So you do it lightly or just with your fingernails.

[Christine]

Like how Eva taps. And we like Eva taps our minds like, because she'll tap where you're like, did I hear something?

[Em]

But you're not sure she'll tap like this. Exactly.

[Christine]

Yeah, exactly. Now you get it.

[Em]

You don't hear it at all. And then she goes, oh, well, I knocked on the door for like 10 minutes. Minutes? What are you talking about? No, you did not.

[Christine]

Yeah, yeah.

[Em]

The second time it happened she got up thinking maybe it was me, but no one was there and the hallway was empty. She then told me every time she would drift off to sleep, she would hear the tapping, and that once the tapping sounded like it came from inside the room instead of the outside of.

[Christine]

The door, it was like, well, since you didn't answer, I'll just see myself in.

[Em]

Yeah, right.

[Christine]

No, no, no, no. That's not how this works.

[Em]

At first, I'll admit that a part of me was a little annoyed because the only reason that she came to the ghost hunt was because everyone else got to experience something, and. Oh, and she's the one who got to experience something. However, the rest of me is glad that the ghosties respected my no, thank you and let me sleep peacefully. And I know this story isn't all that exciting, but thank you for listening. No, I think it's exciting.

[Christine]

I love it.

[Em]

I. At the second you titled it, I saved you from a ghost.

[Christine]

Well, of course we knew you would love it, but, yes, I. I also love it. I think M does a good job giving the just sage and simple advice of setting a boundary, which, like, I mean, honestly, I'm not good at. And guess what? Like, weird things have happened because I don't follow that rule.

[Em]

So there are a lot of times, I mean, I do it to a point of angering. Like, I do it. I do it annoyingly, but I would rather annoy everyone for a couple minutes than, like, ever have something fall me back that isn't welcome. And, like, so far, knock on everything, but, like, it has worked.

[Christine]

So it feels like Mikhail is a combination of us because we don't know their pronouns. Right.

[Em]

No, they.

[Christine]

Sorry. Not to. Not to immediately bring that up again. I just want to make sure I don't mess it up. But no, the fact that they're like, oh, I did what M. Said and protected myself, but then I wished I hadn't a little bit. Like, that's the combination of you, Christine.

[Em]

Yeah, right.

[Christine]

Because the me is like. Like, I'm just gonna let em say it, and I'm not gonna say it, and I'm gonna see what happens.

[Em]

And then that is how it usually goes.

[Christine]

I live to regret the tale. Yes.

[Em]

Christine Will in a haunted house, literally go, what M Said, like ditto.

[Christine]

I'll go like ditto. But, like, if you really want to come home, you can. Like, I'm. I'm so bad about it because I'm just like, I want something to happen.

[Em]

No, I do so much. I like. I even like Take shot. Like a cleansing, like an intentional shower.

[Christine]

And okay, you to me. And I then saw it on a different platform, like a. Some other master class or something I was taking where they said like, consider a shower. You can use it as like an energy cleanse as well. And then I was like, oh, my God, M does that. And so I did that yesterday and it was like so cathartic. It was like, oh, I feel like I'm just cleansing like the day off me. I don't know. There's something very. I think I might be turning toward the sun. AKA M. Oh.

[Em]

Oh. Oh, okay. Yeah. You're.

[Christine]

You're influencing me finally. For what it's worth. Okay, well, thank you so much, Michaela. This is from. Let's. Oh. Oh, no. Oh, no. Okay, this is.

[Em]

Oh, yeah. What is it?

[Christine]

No, this is from Kylie. She.

[Em]

Okay. Hi, Kylie.

[Christine]

She.

[Em]

Her.

[Christine]

Hers. Who says my former youth pastor kidnapped a child.

[Em]

Oh, no. I tried to tell you the holidays can create even more waste than usual. Each year Americans throw away 25 more trash from Thanksgiving to new, which I am telling you, I know personally, you're 18% of that. Yeah. So what if we told you that there was a way to get all your holiday shopping done without the guilty feeling over the waste that typically comes with it? And here lies Blue land.

[Christine]

Blue Land is on a mission to eliminate single use plastic by reinventing cleaning essentials to be better for you and the planet. And so this holiday season, Blueland is having its best sale of the year. So you can save and shop sustainably for your friends, family and even yourself.

[Em]

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[Christine]

All the hand washing.

[Em]

You have all the hand washing? Yeah.

[Christine]

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[Em]

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[Christine]

Hey Eva. My name is Kylie. I've been listening to. And that's why you drink for about a year. And I've caught up to all the episodes. Thank you, Emma Christine for giving me something to do at my job. It says at job, which sounds very funny. It sounds like you just like. Like put a blank. Like a bad lib. Like something to do at blank. Oh well, something to do at job. The podcast has made me feel a lot less alone in my day to day and I appreciate all the gay representation you guys bring to the table.

[Em]

You are welcome with that.

[Christine]

Let's crack into it. Growing up, I went to church two to three times a week in a non denominational sector of Christianity. With that came going to youth group from a young age. I attended youth group from about age 17. We had a pastor that everyone loved. Let me guess, a pillar of the community. No doubt, doubt. No doubt. Oh, he was a pillar of the community. Sorry. I literally hate myself. I'm so sorry. I hate myself. Okay. We had a pastor that everyone loved. He was a pillar of the community, if you will. I'm sorry. I'm so annoying. And everyone called him pj. Yikes. Pastor Jordan.

[Em]

Yuck.

[Christine]

Yuck. I'd have personal talks with him and knew him from when I was around 10 years old. I left the church a long time ago and I'm currently pagan. Let's fast forward to the to last year. In 2022, rumors started happening that a youth pastor had relations with a minor. Years prior. We found out that PJ had groomed a minor from around the victim's age of 15. Said victim came forward as an adult about 10 to 15 years after this incident occurred.

[Em]

My God, he's still at the church. Well, no comment.

[Christine]

Then more news came forward and we found out that a lot more had happened with this relig relationship, quote, unquote, than anyone thought. Formal charges were brought against pj. He fled Wisconsin to Florida, of course, and was brought back to Wisconsin to face charges. Everyone thought that was the end of it until last week. He's now facing new charges of child sexual assault of a child under 13, child enticement and bail jumping. It turns out he was, quote, unquote, mentoring a 12 year old in Wisconsin. Again, picked this child up our house to what the child thought was to have a talk, took him to a hotel, and as PJ went to check in, the child called the police to let them know he'd been kidnapped.

[Em]

Oh.

[Christine]

Oh, my God. Unfortunately, unfortunately, PJ had already allowed things to happen in the vehicle before going to the hotel. So he had already committed an assault before they even entered the hotel. And the police did not arrive before the child was led to the hotel room. Oh, no. They didn't arrive on time. And he was brought to the hotel room and sexually assaulted shortly after PJ was arrested. And now more charges are coming out against him. Him. This whole story breaks my heart for the victims that PJ had. It's a devastating feeling when you looked up to someone at such an influential age and to be taken advantage of by someone you looked up to. I've copied a link to the article as well if you want to read more. I didn't include a lot of the details within the story as they're pretty difficult to read. Thank you again for all you guys do and sharing the stories of the victims. Anyway, that's why I drink this week. Here's the link. Whoa. That. Wow. Heinous.

[Em]

But also, round of applause to the 13 year old who was able to find a phone and call the police.

[Christine]

Call the police. I mean, that's.

[Em]

Even though they didn't. They got there at least in time before even more could happen. I don't know. But that's. At least he was, you know.

[Christine]

Well, at least that. That stopped this. That stopped it because that call came in. He was arrested. Yeah.

[Em]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Wow.

[Em]

And that was. What was her name?

[Christine]

Oh, the, the. The subm. Submitter was Kylie.

[Em]

Kylie, boy. Yeah.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Em]

Never mind. To my excitement before the story. Now we're just bummed. Maybe this one will be better for our moods. I don't know.

[Christine]

I'm just scrolling through. Just fun fact for everybody. It looks like a lot of the. The communications were happening on Snapchat between this guy and the miners. So just an FYI, like if anyone's curious how the. That kind of operated Worth.

[Em]

That's wild that he was able to go back to work after that.

[Christine]

Well, he never went back to work, I don't think.

[Em]

No, no, he's in.

[Christine]

No, no, no. He fled Wisconsin as soon as.

[Em]

Oh, right. And then. You're right.

[Christine]

Went to Florida and then just sexually assaulting another minor.

[Em]

Right, right.

[Christine]

And then was officially found and arrested because that kid, like you said, that brave ass kid called the cops and then was assaulted anyway. But thank God. Yeah, thank God they made the call.

[Em]

Oh, yeah. Because after that it could have been. He would get taken to another location or something. It could have. Or you would know what could have Happened.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Em]

Yikes. Well, thank you for your story. Eva really leaned in on the true crime this time, huh?

[Christine]

I mean, I guess she warned us.

[Em]

She did warn us. This one, I think, is also definitely a true crime. Okay, I think. I say I think and definitely at the same time because I'm 50. 50 fully on this. Based on the subject line, you tell me what you think it's going to be and then we'll see who's right.

[Christine]

Okay.

[Em]

This is from Rachel. He says she. They love a double pronoun. And the subject line is there's a man in the ceiling.

[Christine]

Okay, hold on. So, of course, initial thought true crime, but then I remember I was talking about how grandpa lived in the floorboards.

[Em]

Right, Exactly.

[Christine]

So yeah, you're right. It could go 50. 50.

[Em]

Okay. What? Which one are you betting? I'll do the other one.

[Christine]

I mean, I'll bet ghost because you said true crime. Off the bat, I feel like you. You get the true crime call also.

[Em]

Okay. Rachel says I've been binge listening over the last few months at the strong recommendation of one of my best friends, who also experienced this firsthand through, though from a different angle. And she agreed that it would be a good story to send.

[Christine]

Hi, best friend. Even though you don't get named.

[Em]

Yeah, I love that.

[Christine]

My best friend told me all about the show. Anyway, I'm not gonna give her a shout out.

[Em]

Haha. I. I assume everyone is very familiar with the concept of a haunted theater.

[Christine]

Yes, just like the broad concept of just like.

[Em]

Oh yeah, what one is, I suppose.

[Christine]

Yes, I am.

[Em]

Anyone who's done live theater for any length of time knows that the literal superstitions like ghost lights, Scottish play, they pale in comparison to the spooky semi sentience that most theaters tend to radiate.

[Christine]

Whoa.

[Em]

I somehow didn't know Edgar Allan Poe was on the horn.

[Christine]

What?

[Em]

On the horn?

[Christine]

What a sentence.

[Em]

I somehow was undeterred and remained such an insufferable theater kid that I got a college degree in it. And this all happened during my university production of the SpongeBob musical.

[Christine]

Yes, of course it did. The most haunting of all musicals, which.

[Em]

By the way, love that, that, that. We're reading that this weekend because the SpongeBob musical starred Ethan Slater, who was in Wicked, so blah, blah, blah. Yes, the spongebob musical exists. Yes, it's surprisingly good. Can confirm it is weirdly good.

[Christine]

Okay, Everybody has been recommending it like they're like the second Leona shows. Any interest. You got to get on that train, my friend. Stephanie was like, just start with the soundtrack. It's bananas.

[Em]

You would not think it's gonna be good. And then you go, all right, never mind.

[Christine]

Then I was proven wrong.

[Em]

The best gifts feel like they were picked out just for you. That's why we love Aura digital picture frames. During the holidays, you can give your mom, your grandpa, your friend, your boss, I don't know, the same gift. And completely personalize it with all their favorite pictures.

[Christine]

It's so cool because I, you know, I have the app and as two people who with divorced parents, it's nice. Nice to have them in one app, but separate. So I can send, you know, certain photos to my dad's frame and certain photos to my mom's frame. So that's like a fun little loophole if you need one. To be sending photos out on Mass and aura frames is the best way to do it because then they can display it and brag about you. If you have a holiday photo that you want to display, it can do that too, which is really fun. And by the way, Wirecutter called this the best digital photo frame. And as a wire cutter, die hard, I can see why. It takes no time to set up and get connected. And then you can add the perfect photos and videos yourself from the app. It just connects to your photo library and you click the ones you want. Couldn't be easier.

[Em]

For a limited time, visit or frames.com and get $45 off Aura's bestselling carver mat frames by using promo code drink at checkout. That's a U R A frames.com promo code drink. This exclusive black Friday Cyber Monday deal is their best of the year. So don't, don't miss out. Terms and conditions apply. Now, every production has a variety of hiccups, but this show had many. Most of them came down to the bottom line of a director who had a vision that demanded things that are hard to do on a college's budget, crew and timeline. Let's just say lackluster forethought was happened about that. But you know, the show must go on. So we figured it out and put on a hell of a production. Even as a flashlight prop went missing and a stomach bug ravaged the first production weekend. Oh, no, no.

[Christine]

Oh, no.

[Em]

I have had a stomach bug ravage our production, and it sure did.

[Christine]

It went scorched earth on our production.

[Em]

The second weekend is where things got strange. It was the middle of the second act during Squidward's tap dance number.

[Christine]

Of course, poor Squidward.

[Em]

Yes, he does it with an extra pair of legs?

[Christine]

Well, yes, that's silly.

[Em]

He should be doing it with two extra pairs of legs.

[Christine]

That's an octopus.

[Em]

No, squid is six legs.

[Christine]

Oh, I see. I thought you meant eight. Yeah, you're right. You're 100. Right.

[Em]

It came backstage. I came backstage to see three of my castmates searching around with their phone flashlights. And my first assumption was that someone had dropped something in the dark and they were trying to find it. So I asked what they were looking for. Maybe Squidward's legs. There was a strange man back here, they said.

[Christine]

Well, under the fucking vanity.

[Em]

Word spread quickly through the cast and hushed voices, and pretty soon everyone was on edge. Apparently, right after intermission, a bald man no one had seen before stumbled through the light booth, an area you can't get into from the audience, and shoved past the freshmen working the spotlight before disappearing.

[Christine]

Of course, the poor freshman who's like, I'm just trying to do. To hold up, hold my own, and.

[Em]

No one's even gonna believe the freshman, you know? We soon heard that one of our professors had seen him in the backstage hallway during intermission and told him to leave, but clearly he didn't make it far. Naturally, we all freaked out, but not enough to stop the show. It's the car. No rule. Personally, I felt safest on stage because.

[Christine]

Imagine being dressed as Patrick Star, and you're like, the show must go on. All our ancestors who. Who did theater before us, Shakespeare himself. And your dress is like. And Patrick Star. And Gary the Snail. And everyone's like, yeah, but as Patrick.

[Em]

You mean sexy Patrick in the Fish?

[Christine]

Of course I mean sexy Patrick.

[Em]

Though personally, I felt safest on stage because in order to do anything to any of us, he'd need to come out into full public eye. So we finished.

[Christine]

Me in front of the audience. I dare you.

[Em]

So we finished the show, and I got out of costume and went out to the lobby to greet people, which I do every night. At that point, I assumed the man had found his way out of the building. Then we were told they had to close the lobby and everyone please go outside.

[Christine]

What?

[Em]

Not a single bedside manner there.

[Christine]

I actually thought this was a ghost until now.

[Em]

No need to worry, but someone, you need to leave immediately. Yeah, up until now, I thought it was a ghost, too.

[Christine]

For sure it's going to be a ghost, because they're, like, looking for him.

[Em]

Most of the cast and crew were still backstage, quarantined in the men's dressing room while the police came and searched for the man. Man.

[Christine]

Oh, my God.

[Em]

And he was apparently still there. No, this is where that SWAT team. Why don't we have the live tweets of this?

[Christine]

This is getting weird. The SWAT team nonsense. I. I'm getting a little freaked out.

[Em]

I went back to the apartment where my aforementioned friend waited up with me for our other roommate, who was stuck in the theater. I can't imagine just waiting and knowing someone's stuck in the theater.

[Christine]

No, no, no, no.

[Em]

I filled her in on the situation while I got updates from the other people on site. And not only was the bald man still in the building, he was in the ceiling, up in the catwalks where the lights were hung high on something, and they couldn't get him down.

[Christine]

Okay, like, to be fair, that is the best, right? Like, the best place to hide. Like, who would look up there if. If you weren't familiar with.

[Em]

And also, it's so funny that he's like, ah, I got busted. And now he's like, I'm too scared to come down. I don't know how to.

[Christine]

In a tree. Like, what are they gonna do?

[Em]

That happened to me in a. In, like, a ski lodge one time because they had, like, a big loft, and I. I couldn't get this. I couldn't get down the stairs.

[Christine]

I'm with you. There's a video somewhere my brother has of me where I booked. I thought it was really cool and quirky. I booked a room. It was literally this past summer for me, my mom, and Alexander in Atlanta, and it was at the Hotel Claremont, which has the strip club attached. Anyway, that whole thing and my book. But I booked, like, a group room where it has, like, loft, like, bunk beds. And of course, I was like, I'm oldest. I get the top bunk. But, like, trying to get down. I was, like, trying to put my. And of course, it was all, like, aesthetic, you know, so the ladder's not really. It's. So I start sticking my legs out, and I just keep, like, kind of pushing myself off, and I look down, and Alexander's fucking filming, which then, of course, I panic, and I end up. Anyway it. There's no glamorous or graceful way to get down. So as this robber, this intruder, I can see the social anxiety of totally everyone watching, and everyone's watching, and you don't even.

[Em]

And now you don't look cool because you also got busted. It's not like you did, like, cool getaway.

[Christine]

You didn't even do it right. And now Em is face. Now Em is. Is live tweeting. The whole thing. And it's so embarrassing for you.

[Em]

My friend was constantly backstage to prep for this show and had helped hang those lights around two weeks prior. And it was another area. It was another area that couldn't be accessed from public spaces. So you had to go up two different ladders. Now there's two ladders he can't get down.

[Christine]

Yikes.

[Em]

That were already tucked into weird dark corners filled with wires and ropes. So now he. With a wire or rope. No.

[Christine]

This is starting to become clue.

[Em]

Based on the food wrappers, the discovery of the missing flashlight, and the length of time our band director had been smelling unexplained cigarette smoke.

[Christine]

No.

[Em]

The bald man could have been in the building for as long as three weeks and living in the ceiling for at least a week and a half.

[Christine]

And he thought, everyone's gonna be distracted during Squidward Edwards tap dance number. Why don't I just scooch on past?

[Em]

I like. And also, like, that is freaky, though. Like, for the last three weeks, you know, three weeks before a show, all the kids are there for rehearsals.

[Christine]

Yeah. Any hour of the. Of after school. Yeah.

[Em]

So I wonder if he was like, I'll sleep here at night, but I have to keep myself occupied for, like, 20 of the 24 hours a day where I'm not around. But also, they were smelling cigarette smoke.

[Christine]

Do you think he was just, like, lurking because of the kids? Like, there's dressing rooms, there's changing room. Or do you think he was just, like, looking for a place to hide out? I guess, maybe.

[Em]

No, I think he was just looking for a place to live. I don't know. I. I like your idea of, like, oh, everyone's going to be distracted by the play. That, like, I could probably get back up there.

[Christine]

By the way, Christine heard it and thought it was a ghost. So, like, I probably would have said, it's just a ghost.

[Em]

Well, he probably thought, like, if I'm living here, as soon as the play is over, they're going to lock up. I need to get in there right now before.

[Christine]

Very good point. And when they're closing down, they would have. Yeah, yeah. Very good point. Very good point.

[Em]

So he has to get in before security starts doing.

[Christine]

What do you think he does when.

[Em]

He'S happened to be during a play? I imagine plays chess in the park. I don't know.

[Christine]

Yeah. You know, something really wholesome. I'm sure.

[Em]

He was eventually removed and everyone got home safely, and we finished the run of the show with no more hiccups and Many jokes at his expense. Sense. Our director talked about pressing charges, but I never heard anything about it. They didn't even fix the issue of the building never fully walking. You think your theater has ghosts? Cool. Ours has the ball.

[Christine]

So you were right, for sure. I really thought. Before we even knew it was a theater, I thought your true crime instinct was right. But I was like, I'll just go ghost. And then halfway through your story, I went, I can't believe I'm right.

[Em]

I thought it was a ghost for sure.

[Christine]

If I had heard a theater ghost in the ceiling, like, I would have believed it for sure. But that's sad. And I wonder if, like, was he just, you know, experiencing homelessness or was it, like, more sinister? Because it. I mean, yeah, it's. It's hard. You know, I can imagine a place is unlocked, and so, of course, it's like an easy access. And, you know, maybe there's places to, like, kind of isolate yourself, but then you think. Think, okay, it's also a high school. Like, it's. It feels like a school. Like, it feels like the worst place to be caught loitering.

[Em]

And I also wonder, like, if you. He was experiencing homelessness, he must be pretty new to it, because people weren't. Well, he'd only been there for three weeks or maybe a week and a half, so unless he was coming from.

[Christine]

Another place where he got, like, bouncing around.

[Em]

But he seems well dressed enough for a play that nobody thought he was out of place.

[Christine]

That's true. Yeah. Oh, I wonder. So it just feels a little sinister. I think probably just because also, it's a bunch of minors like that.

[Em]

Just also, I think they're college students, but, yeah.

[Christine]

Oh. Oh. I thought it was high school, but, yeah, still, you're right. Like, just kind of a sexy Patrick star. I mean, goodness gracious. Wow. Wow. Okay. Great story. Wow. I can't believe we're at the end. By the way, thank you, Rachel, for that. So this is from Anonymous. She. Her. I love how they're like, I'm anonymous, but I'm a girl.

[Em]

Right, Right. But I'm not a man. Don't worry.

[Christine]

Yeah, don't worry. Thank you. I did need that reassurance. Okay. Just kidding. I get really excited when men listen.

[Em]

Because it means they're, like, on the winning team in.

[Christine]

On it. Yeah. This is called my alien icebreaker.

[Em]

Great.

[Christine]

Hi, all. I'm a newish listener, and I started from the beginning, so I'm only up to 2019, but I got to episode 122. About PIL seeing UFOs. That was such a good episode and thought you might like to hear the story. I'm an aeronautical engineer. Oh my God. That's why I'm animus. Oh my gosh.

[Em]

I see. Okay, I see.

[Christine]

I'm an aeronautical engineer by trade and used to build flight simulators for military jet aircraft. No big deal.

[Em]

You have seen so many things. I just know it.

[Christine]

Deal. The power you hold. You contain multitudes, my friend. Anonymous.

[Em]

I, I. I know and fear your power.

[Christine]

I fear and know your. I fear and recognize, but from afar I acknowledge and.

[Em]

And shiver at the same time and.

[Christine]

Don'T look you directly in the eye. Okay. I work closely with pilots during this time and whenever I met a new one, my favorite icebreaker was, obviously, we've.

[Em]

Seen an alien ufo.

[Christine]

So what's your UFO story? Story. And Emma has just been waiting for this because there always was one. In 15 years, I met dozens of pilots and every single one had a story for me. Most were as simple. I saw some weird flying over blank while other job. Sorry, that was an in joke from earlier that nobody got but me. I saw some weird flying over blank while others were more complex and spooky. Spooky. Unfortunately, I can't go into more detail than that here. Let me rephrase that. Unfortunately, I can't disclose any further details, but I thought you'd like to know that UFOs have been openly discussed in the airborne communities for decades. These individuals are all highly qualified, have to pass rigorous testing, and are some of the most skeptical, no nonsense people out there. And yet they all, all, all believe in aliens. So there's that two eyes emoji.

[Em]

I mean, me too. And I didn't have to become an aeronautical engineer. So who's winning? You know, I'm just saying.

[Christine]

You know what? No offense.

[Em]

I'm on to something a little bit.

[Christine]

Even my therapist said not to say, but to say. And no offense to you, you and I do trust an actual pilot more than I trust your opinion. No, no offense. And that's also true.

[Em]

I will say I unders. It's nice to have actual confirmation. Although I will say I have like, just so. Yeah, I've. I've never, I've never had to wander. But this is good information.

[Christine]

Sorry, we didn't need to go to school to learn about aliens. Sorry. We just, just believed it.

[Em]

That's like when Allison tells me she's. She was like an A plus student. I'm like, and there was me and we're in the same place. So.

[Christine]

Yeah, and congratulations. Look how far we've both come.

[Em]

No, honestly, there's nothing more intimidating to me than an aeronautical engineer. But at the same time, if I met you at a bar, regardless of either of our experiences, we at least have one. You're not going.

[Christine]

You're not. You're not aliens going home until 2:30 in the morning. Because that's the lot to talk to you about. Out. And we'll do. We'll pay that bar tab.

[Em]

No. If I ever meet an aeronautical engineer, I. Before I've even spoken to them, I've paid for their tab and I'm.

[Christine]

Six people just picked up their phone and went, oh my God. I shouldn't. I should DM them. That's my guess is that six aeronautical engineers. Listen, can. Can somebody confirm or deny that I.

[Em]

Think one and they've written in. And that's.

[Christine]

You think. You think one. Oh, I really would like to think six, but I. You're right. Maybe it's.

[Em]

I'd like to think there's a little team and they all know each other.

[Christine]

Megan, can you find out. Can you do a poll on whether or not everybody is an aeronautical engineer? Thank you.

[Em]

Thank you.

[Christine]

It's really important. Cancel everything else. No, I know what Eva told you, but do what I say.

[Em]

Yeah, thanks.

[Christine]

No, you're right. No, you're right. Eva is the boss. Okay. Do what Eva says.

[Em]

Megan, I know that Christine just left the room and Eva told you one thing, but now that both of them.

[Christine]

Have left, where's my wine?

[Em]

Please ask the aeronautical engineers. One, if they all know each other. Two, if they do, can they join a squad and represent us as we.

[Christine]

Want to be the civilian force?

[Em]

Yeah, thanks, Megan.

[Christine]

That was me. Oh. I was like. Wait, I said that, not Megan. Okay. Yes. Okay. Sorry. I was supposed to be in the other room anyway. Okay, last thing is, love you all so much. Can't wait to get caught up and maybe hear this. Red on air team wine, if that's still a thing. Lol. And guess what? I rarely drink on episodes these days, but I gotta tell you, name redacted. I am vibing with you today and I think I had to fill up my whole glass of wine out of that box because I forget sometimes how freaked out I am about alien conspiracies. So it says name redacted. She her.

[Em]

And you know what? I bet the she her is actually a he him who went full rogue. You know what?

[Christine]

That would be so up and so awesome. Like if you're just Like, I'm just going to really twist my identity around.

[Em]

Or you know what? They're a they them. And now if anyone accuses them, they go. You get. You said the wrong pronouns. Are you kidding me?

[Christine]

Right in the middle. It's fine. You know, figure it out. Grow up, Grandpa. Yeah, get out of the floorboards. It's 2024.

[Em]

I love that. That it is, as far as I know, confirmed. And also, I don't know if anyone.

[Christine]

I think that was. I think that was official. I'm not. No screwing around, no joking. I really think, like, if people are. We have had multiple people write in anonymously who work for and. Okay, I. I know that sounds like we're just being. Yeah. And it sounds like, oh, we're just being scammed. But like, no, there are things we've had to delete off the. A couple. Only couple. But, like, things we've had to delete or things that felt too sensitive to read. We've gotten some interesting emails over the years. Just a couple. But, like, some of them really were like, whoa.

[Em]

Also, I don't know if anyone has. Was keeping up with, like, the congressional. Oh, that too. I think it was a congressional hearing. It was the. It was the UFO reports that were. That they were just talking about, like a week ago. I mean, it worked out very well. I'm not trying to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but it is interesting that they were letting all those videos just go rampant after the election. No one was paying attention. Mansion. But.

[Christine]

Well, they did that earlier in, like, July or whatever. Whatever month that was, they released. I remember they released all the information. I think it was a Pentagon released all the information on a Friday at like 4:30pm and it was like, okay.

[Em]

And it weirdly worked. It was like. Anyway, of course it worked because people.

[Christine]

Are like, I'm tired.

[Em]

But also, speaking of I'm tired. All of us are so fed up with the world that, like, we're getting confirmation of UFOs. And I'm just. Just like, whatever. Like, let them take me.

[Christine]

Yeah, whatever. And honestly, it's like, oh, so there are still people who are going, oh, that's a conspiracy. Really? Look at the world right now. Did you think any of this was gonna come to fruition or be real life? I don't think so. Look at the world. This is what we live in right now. It's insane. It feels like the game. It feels like somebody went to get their Kraft Mac and Cheese from the kitchen and they forgot to pause their video game. And we've all just gone, like, completely rogue.

[Em]

Everyone is in pools without ladders, literally.

[Christine]

And ever came back and said, oh, I guess maybe I should restart. And I feel like any day now we're just gonna go hit the restart button. I don't know.

[Em]

I really. It. It did to see all those videos where it was, like, just being confirmed of, like, oh, we've had, like, was. They literally said, like, bodies from crash sites or something since before we were even born.

[Christine]

They said they literally have biological specimens from other planets.

[Em]

And you know what I did.

[Christine]

Or other parts.

[Em]

And you know what I did? Did. I went. And then I kept swiping. I didn't even. I didn't even care because so much happened in this stupid world in the last few months.

[Christine]

Isn't that wild? When. When. When aliens are the least of your concerns?

[Em]

I'm like, take me with you. I don't even care anymore.

[Christine]

Or like, when your entire civil liberties and existence are being threatened. They're like, but what about aliens, though? And you're like, hang on a minute.

[Em]

It's like, okay, the aliens are gonna, what, Take me away from all my freedom? I don't.

[Christine]

Oh, they're gonna probe me. Try again. Where do you live? Planet Earth?

[Em]

It's like, maybe the aliens will do an abortion for us. How about that?

[Christine]

Yeah, maybe they'll. Maybe they'll. Oh, my God, now I'm gonna make this nice Cuba weapon in, like, five seconds or whatever it's called.

[Em]

Truly, if. If the. If on the news tonight, it was like, aliens have actually come and are beginning to invade, I'd go, all right, duh.

[Christine]

It's.

[Em]

I really don't know. I'm like. I'm kind of being funny. I really don't know what I would do.

[Christine]

It's like, being a little bit. But there is such a truth to the being of how jaded we are and how, like, bad things have been that you're. Because, I mean, I know you've probably seen too, like, people talk about how our brains and our. Our nervous systems were not built to, like, absorb all of this. All of this information, all this negativity, even all the positivity. Like, we just weren't built for this. We were built for smaller communities.

[Em]

And so we were built to rub sticks together and set fires sometimes and.

[Christine]

Like, bonk each every now and then when we were feeling horny so that we could make more of us, right? Like, that was basically it. And, like, maybe have a petty squabble with Nancy. The two caves down.

[Em]

We were meant to float down the river. Yeah. Literally about it.

[Christine]

And now it's kind of like, oh, everything just means nothing and nothing means everything. I don't know. And so, yeah, you're right. The aliens. It's like, if you're gonna come, now's probably the time because, like, we're all just kind of like it.

[Em]

I mean, if you really want to take us away and deal with a lot of people who would be. Who would submit to you pretty quickly. I'm on that team.

[Christine]

No, I'd like to be Wave two. I'd like for M to go first and then write me a few postcards because I just give you a thumbs.

[Em]

Up from the craft, like, we're all good up here.

[Christine]

And then all the balloons, like on Apple, on your Apple computer would just start floating. I'd be like, oh, okay. Oh no, now it's raining. What could it mean? It's thunderstorming on M's FaceTime. Okay. Anyway, sorry, I know we were trying to keep things concise, but wow, that one got me good. And thank you. Anonymous, slash, name redacted. What a fun and like, little mysterious way to end that. Yeah.

[Em]

The only other question I'd like to know is, like, when you see something, do you just fly towards it and just like, hope that they'll. They'll take you away from this?

[Christine]

Okay. I also want to know from anonymous. Yes, Anonymous. Aeronautic engineer. I know you said you meet a lot of pilots and you ask. I would love to know. I mean, maybe you would have added it if that's the case. But I would love to know some of your favorite stories that people have told you or if you have any of your own and you can make it anonymous, like. Well, I know that's kind of a scary thing to write in if you're. If you're trying to retain your information. But if we promise we'll be very discreet about it, I would love to hear what your favorite story phrase were.

[Em]

You could also email us and then even say in the subject line, don't tell anyone. And then we can see.

[Christine]

Oh, yeah. And then you write they them and we'll say, it couldn't be that other person.

[Em]

Exactly.

[Christine]

Because they have different pronouns.

[Em]

Oh, man. Well, anyway, what a. What a way to end 2024's Listeners episodes.

[Christine]

Hey, Em and I have been recording for five hours. I'm so sweaty. And I have to leave at like 6am tomorrow. And it's 6pm A B packed help.

[Em]

Good luck to us all in 2025. May the aliens be friendly when they.

[Christine]

Approach us O yeah and if you're we're approaching Halloween nope we're approaching the afterglow the end of the afterglow of Halloween we're approaching Christmas so if you're feeling extra stressed I'm so sorry know that we're with there right there with you and if you need a place to escape to please just pop into the show or I don't know show up on Patreon where we do yappy hours about all sorts of random things like our own shadow work and figuring out what subreddits we follow so you.

[Em]

Can go what blood of Christ we.

[Christine]

Are yeah and well that's that's for the main feed them we would never limit that to Patreon that is for everybody but yeah so thank you everybody and you know what this is the last listener of the episode of the.

[Em]

Year year Happy New Year and that's.

[Christine]

Why you always started I just feel like I have to wait.