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Andrew Schulz
If you flew in Air India once and that was your second time flying Air India.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Andrew Schulz
I have no sympathy for you.
Chris Distefano
Because.
Giannis Papas
I know so bad.
Andrew Schulz
The planes are janky as like you'll see first class seats just like rips in them with duct tape over them.
Chris Distefano
So you think this was the plane. It wasn't pilot era.
Giannis Papas
How could it be pilot error?
Mark Gagnon
Right?
Giannis Papas
You think they were tried something with the flaps.
Chris Distefano
The guy hit the wrong button. I decided, oh no. Aviation.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. Chrissy, is it possible Pakistan was involved?
Chris Distefano
That's what I thought immediately that kid.
Unknown
Said he wanted to become pilot.
Giannis Papas
Yeah, he's a pilot, Grant. That was like his dream job.
Andrew Schulz
My only question is, how did that one guy survive?
Mark Gagnon
I don't know how.
Chris Distefano
He said he jumped out and they.
Giannis Papas
For sure verified it was him.
Chris Distefano
They verified his passport, allegedly verified his plane ticket, his name.
Giannis Papas
What are the chances they just grabbed somebody? They're like, this would be a cool.
Chris Distefano
Story also like I could buy an Indian passport at a vape shop.
Mark Gagnon
So it's like we didn't have a vape.
Giannis Papas
Chrissy D. And Yanni Papa.
Unknown
Have you seen other has turned into a 911 conspiracy right away people online are like. Because now you can see the the building and it just looks like, like a plane with the tail sticking out of just like a two story building.
Giannis Papas
That's right. It doesn't penetrate. It's just sitting there. So they're like, how the did and.
Mark Gagnon
Everyone'S building look like a white guy trying to dunk and just like I can't get to the rim.
Giannis Papas
So, so.
Mark Gagnon
Oh wow.
Giannis Papas
So they're saying there's no way that.
Unknown
The tower is like, how is it possible that this happened with these massive buildings reinforced with steel beams?
Giannis Papas
Well, luckily we have two engineering experts on the podcast history.
Mark Gagnon
We're definitely midd Easter experts.
Giannis Papas
So how did, how did the plane get stuck? Can we figure that out?
Mark Gagnon
The plane got stuck because all of the South Asian geniuses who were Indian are in America. All there.
Andrew Schulz
We took all their engines so they.
Giannis Papas
Couldn'T even fly a plane through a building.
Chris Distefano
If you're a good Indian, you here. This is the NBA.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
United States.
Andrew Schulz
Like if you're a good black person.
Chris Distefano
The best of the best get here.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. Vince, right here. We got one of the better ones right here.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah, I do.
Mark Gagnon
So I just think it was one of those situations where that becomes evident when they try to fly a plane and you're just like, should have hired Akash for that.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
I also imagine Air India might be the Type of airline where they just pack so many people in. Like, people are standing, like on the subway. You know what I mean? Like, they have the handrails, and maybe that's how the guy got out. He was standing.
Mark Gagnon
Maybe.
Andrew Schulz
I won't defend Air India ever again. I've flown it twice and I've learned my lesson. But there are. Vistado is a really good Indian airline.
Mark Gagnon
And.
Andrew Schulz
And then Air India bought them, and I was like, now I'm out.
Chris Distefano
Plane is like a legitimate. Like, it's a Dreamliner, right? That's like a new age plane, man.
Andrew Schulz
It took off from Gujarat, right? You don't know what kind of corners these motherfuckers be cutting.
Chris Distefano
Seriously. Right?
Andrew Schulz
Gujarat.
Giannis Papas
I mean, look at that. It didn't even go through the building.
Unknown
Yeah, we should look at the plane, how it started.
Chris Distefano
I want to look at this building. Yeah, yeah.
Giannis Papas
Like, I mean, I guess the Twin Towers. The building is mostly glass with world, with all.
Chris Distefano
Why the Twin Towers? Yeah.
Giannis Papas
Why did it just go right through the Twin Towers?
Chris Distefano
Oh, right.
Mark Gagnon
Steel beams.
Chris Distefano
Well, yeah, it went through the steel beams.
Mark Gagnon
Went through the steel beams.
Chris Distefano
Maybe. Maybe because. I don't know. Because here's the thing. I don't know.
Mark Gagnon
Remember, you're engineering.
Chris Distefano
I'm gonna say, because I'm not 100 sure. I'm not 100 sure.
Giannis Papas
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course.
Chris Distefano
The steel beams needed to be removed on September 10th for the Israelis to put the bombs in. I don't know if. I don't know, because I'm not. I don't know if Israel was able to wire that building with bombs before the. That's just a question, obviously. Yan's.
Giannis Papas
So what's happening in Iran now, then, guys? Let's just get to the. Let's just get down to it.
Andrew Schulz
And who are you guys looking for?
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, Iran is an interesting place.
Chris Distefano
Who am I rooting for?
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, yeah. Who's the good guys and who's the bad guys?
Chris Distefano
I'd like to see. Here's the thing. I'd like to see somewhat of a fight with Iran. Like, I kind of look at Iran as the Pacers, okay? The underdogs. You're supposed to not like them.
Giannis Papas
They're a horrible idea.
Chris Distefano
I think that Iran has got some fight in them.
Andrew Schulz
This is the most Andrew has ever cared about an issue, and I love watching him be uncomfortable.
Giannis Papas
It's just because I. I'm invested and I have no clue what the truth is at all. Everybody that I talk to says that they know exactly what's going on and they're completely different takes, no matter who I talk. Well, because it's just like, what the fuck is happening?
Mark Gagnon
Well, that's what timelines are. Now. You go on one timeline, you get one thing, you got another timeline, you get another.
Giannis Papas
What do you mean by that?
Chris Distefano
You get.
Mark Gagnon
Your time is either going to go, you know.
Andrew Schulz
Echo chamber.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, it's an echo chamber.
Giannis Papas
I thought we were talking about, like, Marvel timelines. Like there's some sort of like, multiverse. No, you mean like your time, your algorithm. Yeah, yeah, yeah, got it. Yeah, yeah. My algorithm is disagreeing with each other right now.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, yeah, it's totally. You go on one, you're like, okay, that's the truth. And then you go another and you're like, that's the truth. Yeah, it's hard to know. Yeah. I think it's funner that way. Do you? I think it's funny. You can compare straight to the extremes and let them fight it out.
Chris Distefano
Yes.
Giannis Papas
Yeah. But does it not give you anxiety?
Chris Distefano
Or you.
Giannis Papas
Or you can compare, compartmentalize it and just be like, hey, I'm on the.
Mark Gagnon
Outside, I'm not as rich as you. If we die, we die.
Unknown
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
That's one of the downfalls of getting rich.
Giannis Papas
You're a property owner. You're a property.
Mark Gagnon
I am a property owner.
Chris Distefano
Watch it on YouTube.
Mark Gagnon
YouTube. Yeah.
Giannis Papas
Yes.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. No, yeah. It's the. The better you do, the more you get scared of World War iii. But that's why I like to stay in the middle, because if I go.
Chris Distefano
We asked Chat GPT before they did say there's no World War III is not happening. Chat GBT said it's not going to happen yet. Yes, because that. Too much. Mutually assured DEs can't happen. The only way they said it could happen. The only way they said it could happen is if they said Trump decides to. Or I'm sorry, Netanyahu decides to kill the president of Iraq. I can't say those names. Khomeini. Khomeini. The lead guy in Iran said if he drops him, then we're gonna get close. And then I shut down ChatGPT and I went in the New York Post and they said that Netanyahu said, I'm gonna kill him, he's gonna kill the lead guy in Iran. Cuz he said he thinks it's the only way to stop the war. I said, buckle up, we're going into World War Three. And I agree with Yanni. It depends on what timeline you're on. It depends on what group chat you're on. If you're in the group chat if you're in the group chat that believes, you know, Donald Trump is king and you.
Giannis Papas
What's up with Donnie Flip Flops, man?
Chris Distefano
Listen to Donnie Flip Flops. Donnie Flip Flops. I think that if he. I think if we do go into war with Iran, then I think he knows he can't do that. The Trump.
Giannis Papas
Why does he know? He support.
Chris Distefano
Because he supports.
Giannis Papas
What are your boys saying right now?
Mark Gagnon
What are your boys saying? Jews, Jews.
Chris Distefano
What? My boys are saying.
Mark Gagnon
Running down Jew.
Giannis Papas
That's what it is.
Mark Gagnon
That's what it is.
Chris Distefano
My, my. So.
Andrew Schulz
So.
Mark Gagnon
They may not be wrong.
Giannis Papas
What is the firehouse saying? What is the firehouse saying?
Chris Distefano
Ladder 14. The firehouse is saying, we know what Westchester said. They're at the firehouse down with Iran.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, we are. You know, also, I don't know if you know, we're a couple of Firef from Ladder 14. We get all our information from a guy named Schmitty. Yeah, yeah, Schmidt, we got a lot of time at the firehouse, you know, waiting for fire.
Chris Distefano
All I'm ask. I'm going to ask you this right now. Tell me, how could they. You really believe that number? Six million.
Mark Gagnon
Six million. I mean, the thing Schmitty took out the calculator, he said, and he knows something about fire. Yeah, we're talking about oven.
Chris Distefano
One thing I know is about fire. That's a lot of ass. I don't know about that, dude.
Mark Gagnon
You could never do 6 million. That's like 3 million a day. There's no way 6 million. You ever cook the pizza? You get one pie in at a time. You cannot get 16 million at a time today. Okay, so maybe 10,000, maybe 5. Who knows every.
Chris Distefano
Every.
Mark Gagnon
What's the real number? We know is fire. Fire. We know fire. So that's what they're saying, the Jews, their skin is not oily. If it was Greeks. If it was Greeks, they're combustible.
Giannis Papas
They would repel it.
Mark Gagnon
They're combustible.
Chris Distefano
They 6 million Greeks. Then I could understand.
Mark Gagnon
They got. So you can get 6 million but dry psoriasis. Jews, you can't burn those things quickly. You ever try? They got to cook them at 600. Ask your boy Dub. You can't burn that guy.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, yeah.
Mark Gagnon
You can't.
Giannis Papas
This is taking over. That's the fire.
Mark Gagnon
That's not a character piece. That has nothing to do with.
Chris Distefano
Nothing to do with us.
Giannis Papas
This has taken over every single, like, aspect of the Internet. There's this guy that I follow And I've talked about him before on the show. He basically goes up to people who does kind of like man on the street content, but in gyms, and asks.
Mark Gagnon
People, sorry, I can't take you.
Andrew Schulz
Isn't it weird him be the straight guy?
Mark Gagnon
No, I just haven't seen.
Andrew Schulz
Look what you've done to him.
Mark Gagnon
I haven't seen Conquistador face Andrew Schultz yet. Yeah, last time I was here, it was dictator without the fucking with that haircut. Hello, my name is Ania Montoya.
Chris Distefano
You my father from Spain. The original people who brought Africans, they created slavery. Spain. I think we should just. You want to know about history. I know whites are bad, but we're not. We're the worst. But just recently, Spain, Spanish people from Spain, they're the ones that brought out.
Mark Gagnon
Slaves, but they're white Spanish.
Chris Distefano
But Spanish people are very interesting. Spanish people. Very interesting from Spain. Because when they want to be on the right side here, like, no, we are Spanish.
Mark Gagnon
Oh, no.
Chris Distefano
And then when I say, yeah, but you know, aren't you guys are fucking. You brought slavery here. Yeah, you're white. They'll say, no, no, we're not white. They're white when it's good for them. Spanish when it's good for them.
Mark Gagnon
Don't ruin what he's saying with a fact.
Andrew Schulz
Which is very white, though. That's a very white thing.
Giannis Papas
That's a very white thing to do. What, pretend you're not white?
Chris Distefano
Yeah, exactly.
Giannis Papas
Yeah. So they're just being white about it.
Chris Distefano
They're being white about it. Right.
Mark Gagnon
If they are white. Spanish our way. Right?
Giannis Papas
Anyway, there's this guy who does this natty or not thing. He'll go up to people.
Chris Distefano
Yes.
Giannis Papas
And he goes, natty or not, if you're on steroids, he goes up to people. Working out, Right. I've been watching this guy's content for like a year or two or something like that. It's just funny workout things.
Chris Distefano
Don't let him. The last.
Giannis Papas
The last video he posted, he just goes up to people and he goes. He goes, if you were kicked out of 109 bars, would you say that it was the bar's fault or was it your fault? And then he goes. He goes, do you think it'd be possible to make 6 million pizzas in three years? And then he goes, what do you mean? He goes, like, that's like 3 million pizzas. 3,000 pizzas a day. Do you think that's possible? I'm like, when did the Holocaust denial hit the workout algorithm?
Mark Gagnon
Social media it's his whole content is.
Giannis Papas
Now the Jews are lying.
Chris Distefano
Right.
Andrew Schulz
And he was originally 96 million.
Giannis Papas
I guess he is natty.
Chris Distefano
Or not.
Andrew Schulz
Do you think this is organs enhancing ovens?
Mark Gagnon
Do you think this is organic?
Giannis Papas
You mean the no Kings protest?
Mark Gagnon
No. Well, yeah, I mean like just everyone interested in like, you know, when I was a kid. Dude, I'm out.
Andrew Schulz
I have no being indeed a good.
Chris Distefano
Place to be right now.
Mark Gagnon
If you didn't come to me and ask me to smell your fingers when I was 12, I wasn't interested.
Giannis Papas
So where do you think it comes from?
Mark Gagnon
I just think there seems to be sort of, you know, the digital places where all this is playing out. Yes.
Chris Distefano
And we. Yes.
Mark Gagnon
All the kids are on there. You can't fight war anymore the way you used to fight war because of Mutually assured destruction.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
So there's a lot of foreign influence.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
Online trying to win the hearts.
Giannis Papas
Who's influence and who's paying the money?
Mark Gagnon
I don't. You got big players.
Andrew Schulz
China, Russia.
Giannis Papas
Big players.
Chris Distefano
Probably all of them. Yeah. Probably everybody. Dude.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Lasers.
Giannis Papas
Well, it's not Israel.
Chris Distefano
Israel.
Giannis Papas
Israel's losing the. They're losing the. What's it called? They're losing a PR war. So they're not spending enough money.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
If they are spanking China, you could.
Andrew Schulz
That sounds about right.
Giannis Papas
They're just not spending enough.
Andrew Schulz
So cut a deal. You know what I mean?
Mark Gagnon
But what is it?
Giannis Papas
Is it Qatar? Is it. Is it Russia?
Mark Gagnon
Well, Qatar. This is a fact. This isn't a history, hyena facts. This is a fact. Qatar spends the most money on education.
Giannis Papas
What does Smitty have to say about that?
Mark Gagnon
Schmitty would say, remind you that slavery's.
Chris Distefano
Still alive and it's in Qatar and Saudi Arabia. That's what Schmidt would say. He would tell you that it's still alive and that it's Middle Eastern people who are the worst and not the white. And it's Indian people and it's. And it's not. Don't play the one good thing to do. They pick the right people.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
Pick the right people.
Chris Distefano
Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what Schmitty would say. It's. Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
He would say, you know what's going on? He would say, osama, you know what's going on? You know what the fuck's going on? You know what the fuck's going on.
Andrew Schulz
What's going on?
Mark Gagnon
The Sandra Deese, right? What? He would say, Sandra Dees, you know, they got a different religion. Yeah.
Chris Distefano
It's all it is.
Mark Gagnon
And you Know they want to conquer. They want to conquer.
Chris Distefano
You know, I heard they were building.
Giannis Papas
A mosque in Smithy's neighborhood. Did you hear about this?
Mark Gagnon
They were there before we burnt it down. Oh, wait, there's a fire. We'll come put out the fire. Who knows how to start a fire better than Schmitty? Yeah, I mean, the guy's crazy. That is. But he takes care of his neighborhood.
Chris Distefano
Halal's a flammable food, and we have to come and put out the.
Mark Gagnon
Whoa, whoa. You got to call. You got to cool this fire out. The fire. No more m. That's what would happen. That's what happened.
Chris Distefano
But I. I don't think anybody really knows, because I think that there's so many angles.
Giannis Papas
Thank you, Chrissy. So many angles.
Andrew Schulz
You guys are a treasure.
Chris Distefano
Perception is reality. It's however you perceive the facts to be. That's how they'll be.
Giannis Papas
The history hyenas are back, ladies and gentlemen.
Mark Gagnon
Thank you.
Giannis Papas
History hyenas are back.
Andrew Schulz
So sorry I broke y' all up.
Giannis Papas
Wait, how did. How did that happen again? I was thinking about this on the way here. I was like, what was your role?
Andrew Schulz
I gave them Covid.
Giannis Papas
Yes, yes.
Andrew Schulz
Giannis had a mental breakdown. He's spreading it knowingly.
Giannis Papas
Have we talked about this before?
Mark Gagnon
A period of enlightenment. That's it.
Giannis Papas
But you used to call me with a weak voice. Do you remember that?
Mark Gagnon
Yes. Because you're scared I was gonna die, and I just didn't want Akash to be the one that killed me. I wanted a more glamorous death.
Andrew Schulz
Imagine the Indian gave you the disease.
Mark Gagnon
Oh, my gosh. What a fucking ironic.
Andrew Schulz
Ironic.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Schulz
So then that seemed to be the beginning of the end.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Right. But then. But in reality, though, so, you know, we took the vaccine, and that's what. We took the vaccine, and then we just. The bottom line is, we do not do the history on this podcast unless Trump is in charge. And Trump is on for four years. So were we.
Mark Gagnon
And that's when we came back. That's when we came back. We came back. Read into that. However you like, read into that.
Chris Distefano
So the thing is, if you want to see more history ideas over the next few years and you have to change the presidential election laws, you gotta.
Giannis Papas
Give our king a third time. I'm just kidding. Before the podcast, Chrissy with a straight face. Chrissy, we're discussing with happening in Israel and if America is going to get involved, and he's like, listen, I don't think they can do it, because if they do it. His base is going to revolt. He's not going to be able to win another term. I go, well, yeah, he can't do that. He goes, yeah, I know. His base won't support it. And I go, no, no, that's not legally allowed. And he goes, nah, we'll work on it.
Chris Distefano
One of the heads of the FBI is from our neighborhood.
Giannis Papas
What's up with Dan bending over? What's up with.
Mark Gagnon
A neighborhood guy?
Chris Distefano
But wait, his fucking mother lives above my nanny.
Giannis Papas
She's a great tenant. Is she getting shit now that he's bent over?
Chris Distefano
No, no, I think. I think that he. I don't know if I'm gonna be honest with you.
Giannis Papas
Can you be honest with me?
Chris Distefano
We don't know because when we had his conversation with Dan Bongino at o' Neill's in Mass, but we thought he was going to go our way.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
And then the guys out there saying that the Epstein's killed himself, and we're like, that's not what you said in my.
Giannis Papas
I heard they got him wearing a little hat, right? Oh, I heard they got him wearing a little hat behind closed doors. I already got to put on a little. That's what I heard. I already got to wear it.
Mark Gagnon
We called you Frisbee. Frisbees. No, because of the hats. Yeah.
Giannis Papas
Oh, we weren't sure. Thank you for explaining.
Mark Gagnon
You want to. You know, you don't need a Frisbee at the park. You just. Yeah, they're Frisbees. Yeah, Frisbees.
Chris Distefano
No, honestly, I don't know what the hell's going on. I have no idea. Dan, Bonjito, Nobody really knows what's going on. All I know is I went immediately.
Giannis Papas
Why would cats even go on rogue in a cap like that?
Chris Distefano
I don't know. I didn't even know Trump is on.
Mark Gagnon
The Epstein list, but we all know that.
Giannis Papas
Yeah, this is not like we saw the picture with them hanging out.
Mark Gagnon
They're all friends. Yeah, but what if.
Giannis Papas
So what? Like, they think the base would care, so they can't.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Well, the hardcore base would care.
Giannis Papas
They just can't be on the island. Fucking 14 year old. And they knows the guy.
Mark Gagnon
But the island isn't where the fucking supposedly happened. Of course we know it happened. But the evidence is from the apartment, from the townhouse. That's where they found the cameras. That's where they found the tapes.
Giannis Papas
Why haven't we seen any of the parties, the videos? And why is your boy running cover? Danny B. Yeah, this is a neighborhood guy running cover.
Chris Distefano
Well, that's what I said when he. When he got into the FBI. We were like, wow, look at this guy. One of us really made. I mean, this guy used to take the Q55 with him.
Mark Gagnon
He's the goodwill hunting the mask. And now the kid, he's the goodwill hunting a mask. If I see over this deli tomorrow, I'm gonna fucking make something.
Chris Distefano
I'm sorry. The Ridgewood, Glendale, Masfet area. I mean, that Danny B. Is the biggest of all. He went to Archbishop Malloy High School. It used to. At first, you know, it used to just be me. Alumni from Jesus Christ. Used to just be. Used to just be. Hold on. The good alumni used to just be.
Mark Gagnon
Take a deep breath. 300 cholesterol. He's on the bean right now. He's got 300 cholesterol. He doesn't eat what he ate. He just dropped 20 pounds.
Giannis Papas
But his hair looks incredible.
Chris Distefano
Back like the 40s. Just in case we go into WW3, I got slick back on the sides.
Mark Gagnon
It looks good.
Chris Distefano
Like a cadet.
Andrew Schulz
All right, guys, not that many show dates. June 19th. That's this week through 21st. Salt Lake City, Utah. I'm at Wise Guys Comedy Club. These tickets are almost sold out.
Giannis Papas
Also.
Andrew Schulz
Oh, I need to say this. Dubai. I'm gonna be there for the Dubai Comedy Festival October 5th. The tickets are already over half sold out, so hurry up and buy those tickets. And last but not least, I'm very excited. I went to India like, a month or so ago. I interviewed some people. I'm very excited about it. I also interviewed one or two people in the States, and I'm gonna start dropping those. My first episode with Ramy Yousef, we'll be dropping either this week or next week, but look for it on my YouTube. Paige, I'm very excited about this. I love y' all. Thank y' all. Let's get back to the show.
Unknown
What's up, guys? Special announcement. I want to shake your hand. I have a very secret and special and important message for you.
Giannis Papas
Listening?
Unknown
Yes. You right now, driving your car, working. And the best way for me to tell you that is if you come to my shows. I'm going to Portland, Oregon. Fort Worth, Austin, Texas. Stanford. I'm also doing the Hard Rock in Times Square in New York City. I'll be doing a show produced by my good friend Alex Media on July 19. Also, at the end of the month, I'm sucking Stitch.
Chris Distefano
Suck his dick.
Andrew Schulz
Suck his dick.
Unknown
Please don't, dude. Father Ben, my priest hit me up and he was like, yo, why does Aakash keep saying that?
Mark Gagnon
And I said, I don't know.
Unknown
Chandler, Arizona, Washington, dc, San Diego, Burlington, Vermont. And then also at the end of the month, we're doing a show at.
Giannis Papas
Marylou, New York City.
Unknown
It's my show with Joey Avery. I'll see you guys there. I can't wait to tell you my secret message. See me after the show.
Chris Distefano
What's up, guys? Finally I'm here. I'm throwing a show. Comedy show. It's going to be fun. No two drink minimum. Fuck all that shit. Just buy your tickets. It.
Andrew Schulz
And he's paying the comics more and.
Chris Distefano
I'm paying comics more because comics be broken. You know, I do good stuff.
Andrew Schulz
Do not suck his dick. Why not? I. Because that's why. Because that's why. Do not suck his dick. He's an engaged man.
Chris Distefano
We're talking to the dudes.
Andrew Schulz
When he's married, you can suck his dick because then that's all that stops.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, but if it's dudes not cheating.
Andrew Schulz
That's true. If you're a man, you can suck his dick. It's huge.
Chris Distefano
Oh, fuck. This is going to be an episode. Okay, we're throwing a show on the June 28th at Barloom and then also July 19th at the Hard Rock.
Andrew Schulz
Julyteenth, Also known as Julyteenth. Cancel Comedy. Right. Cancel comedy. Cancel comedy. Julyteenth. We're making it a day from now on.
Chris Distefano
Let's go to Cancel Comedy X on Instagram. Check the bio. We'll have a link for all the tickets. And let's get back to the show.
Mark Gagnon
We can only call this the podcast administration. That's what it is.
Chris Distefano
Yes.
Mark Gagnon
They're all podcast guests.
Giannis Papas
Yes.
Mark Gagnon
That's what they are.
Giannis Papas
Yes.
Mark Gagnon
Tulsi. They've all done the podcaster.
Giannis Papas
Obama is Facebook. Was it. Trump was Twitter.
Andrew Schulz
Cambridge Analytica.
Giannis Papas
Right. But that was Obama's Facebook. I think Trump was Twitter. Biden was. I don't even know what it is. And then the latest Trump was probably TikTok.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
And then.
Mark Gagnon
And podcasts.
Giannis Papas
And podcasts. Yes, TikTok podcast. And then the next one will be AI.
Mark Gagnon
Yes.
Giannis Papas
And that's going to be the interesting one.
Mark Gagnon
Do you think the AI will be culturally sensitive where they are? Like, do you think in the Muslim countries, AIs will be wrapped up?
Giannis Papas
Of course.
Chris Distefano
Absolutely.
Mark Gagnon
I have to respect the culture 100%. Will they be white or black? You know? Yeah.
Giannis Papas
Well, what do you think they'll be?
Mark Gagnon
I Think they will be culturally sensitive? Yeah.
Giannis Papas
Yeah. And in America, what would they look like?
Mark Gagnon
America? They just be fat, right? Fat, fat robots.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Canadian. They'll be trans.
Mark Gagnon
Canadian. They'll Canadian be trans. Yeah. Well, yeah, everyone's scared of AI but once we can them, the fear goes away. Already everyone was scared of the Internet once you found out you can just jerk to infinite or. Yeah, once we can put a dick in a robot lot.
Chris Distefano
They have the thing in China already. They have the.
Mark Gagnon
You can. The sperm.
Chris Distefano
Chinese sperm extractors. Look it up. Chinese sperm extractors. Yeah. And then they're just going to put faces on it.
Giannis Papas
Isn't that like a. Like a nail salon or something?
Chris Distefano
Yes. What we call a massage by an Asian woman is a loophole. If you don't want to cheat on your wife. Little loophole. You get a massage from an Asian.
Giannis Papas
Friend of our wife, is cool with it and he won't do it.
Chris Distefano
You got to do it.
Mark Gagnon
She's flip.
Andrew Schulz
She's starting to flip flop already. She's starting to be like, I don't know.
Mark Gagnon
I think, dude, that's.
Andrew Schulz
I don't get the dick.
Mark Gagnon
Listen to me, right now, Chinese are taking over. We're getting the silver medal. Okay, what's happening? But if you want a little American dignity, where you go is you go get a pedicure to get those Chinese at your feet. You go get jerked off to get those Chinese, you feel. Just to feel one more time, we're on top. I went and got a pedicure and I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get down there. We just have to accept defeat.
Chris Distefano
Like General George Washington just knew how to accept defeat. And as United States silver medal's not.
Giannis Papas
Bad, check to see if they were even Chinese or. It was close enough.
Mark Gagnon
It. Dude. I mean, phenotype expert.
Chris Distefano
Nobody, nobody can. Nobody can tell the difference.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. I just say, look, Pakistan, India is going to war. It's sad to see two people who smell so similar. I don't go in a cab and go, oh, that's Pakistani. Oh, that's. I mean, it's just. They're all the same.
Giannis Papas
They just got different Turks, Greeks, the same thing.
Chris Distefano
Same.
Mark Gagnon
I mean, I got. I'm tur. I haven't tur. I have a lot.
Giannis Papas
You found out it's R. Jean.
Mark Gagnon
It's not.
Giannis Papas
Maybe that's some sellouts.
Mark Gagnon
Have you ever met Greeks and Turks?
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. They don't get along. No, no.
Giannis Papas
But there could have been one that was turned on by the power of that Turkish.
Mark Gagnon
You mean like A Romeo and Juliet?
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
Oh, possible.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
I want to think so, but unfortunately, I know one of my ancestors was held down against their will, and it's just. What happened.
Giannis Papas
Is that what they said? To avoid the shame of falling in love with the Turkish.
Andrew Schulz
Are you talking about a woman or just a Greek boy who got by her?
Giannis Papas
Many of your ancestors were held down there, Will, when they work for a mathematician.
Mark Gagnon
There's no other way to explain, you know? Yeah, there's no other way to explain.
Giannis Papas
Were you an island Greek?
Mark Gagnon
I was an island Greek. Well, island half island Greek. Yeah, both island Greek.
Giannis Papas
Which islands?
Mark Gagnon
My dad is from. I still call it Imbros now. It's some name with some squiggly on top of it.
Giannis Papas
Oh, it's a. It's a Turkish.
Mark Gagnon
And Crete, the big one. Yeah, it started.
Chris Distefano
And Cretes are.
Mark Gagnon
Are.
Chris Distefano
Are fighters, right?
Mark Gagnon
They're fighters, right.
Chris Distefano
A little inbred as well.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chris Distefano
Most Greeks are.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. I mean, look at my eyes. I mean, that goes together from good breeding.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
What is the competitive advantage of having that?
Mark Gagnon
You think of. Of being inbred.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, they're stronger.
Giannis Papas
Stronger.
Mark Gagnon
I see zero.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
My immune system's worse. My eyes are too close together. I got a tendency.
Chris Distefano
His eyes are too close together. I call his eyes Israel and Palestine.
Mark Gagnon
This is. This is the border right here. This is.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
This is the UN Zone right here.
Chris Distefano
That's what it is.
Mark Gagnon
Cyprus.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, yeah.
Mark Gagnon
It's a tight border.
Chris Distefano
It's just what it is. He's got a small head. I have a big head. We just even each other out.
Mark Gagnon
We're just doing each other.
Giannis Papas
So tell me, why the Cretans? Cretans.
Mark Gagnon
Are they Cretans?
Giannis Papas
The Cretans. Why are the Cretans different than regular Greeks?
Mark Gagnon
Because they're like the Sicilians of Greece. If you go, like, Sicily to Italy, the Cretans are like, to Greece what the Sicilians are to Italians.
Giannis Papas
Are they, like. Are they thought of as part of Greece?
Mark Gagnon
The Greeks make fun of them because they're crazy and violent.
Giannis Papas
Violent, which is what.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, so. But they fight. I mean, look at the. You know, World War II. Most historians credit the cretins and that resistance of Hitler as it took to put into context. It took the Nazis, like, four days to take France. You.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
Clean your mirrors, too. Every time you go in a French restaurant, you're like, something. Why the mirrors dirty? I mean, you ever notice that? It's like, that's your. That's your. That's your style. It's A dirty mirror.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
Anyway, that's another thing.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
But I'll.
Chris Distefano
I'll tell you why. It took them four days. France in a second.
Mark Gagnon
A couple of days. Yeah. It took the Nazis 10 days to take the island.
Chris Distefano
But we did eventually take it.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
It's true. You know, it's funny that we're friends. We have a podcast together, because he really is the predator and I'm the prey.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
I did my answer she. And it said like, 98% German.
Andrew Schulz
Like, holy shit, that's not enough.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
One dropper.
Chris Distefano
Yeah. I couldn't believe how German I was. But what can you do, you know? Yeah. Yeah. But it is.
Giannis Papas
But it took you twice.
Mark Gagnon
Took it twice as long. It took him 10 days to take the island. So that. Yeah, Hitler. Hitler had to refocus down there. Right. And so that's.
Giannis Papas
Why was the island a strategic advantage.
Mark Gagnon
Because of Africa. Access to Africa. It's the closest Africa.
Chris Distefano
That's launching pad. Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. So it was very important. And so that made him focus there. And then they had to put off the invasion of Russia towards the winner. And then we all got hooked.
Giannis Papas
So you guys were the deciding factor in what's true.
Chris Distefano
You're like a turning point.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. Winston. Hitler gave us props. There's a quote.
Chris Distefano
No, not Hitler. Churchill.
Mark Gagnon
Both did. Hitler also gave us props just for those people who love Hitler out there. And there's a lot of them now.
Chris Distefano
Right.
Mark Gagnon
Hitler also gave the Greeks props, but Churchill said, from here on, we will see.
Giannis Papas
They started translating those speeches. And it fucking works. I know, I know.
Chris Distefano
I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. You know, I don't. You got your point.
Giannis Papas
Don't tell us. Listen. Put your hand like that, though.
Mark Gagnon
I'm just autistic. No, I'm just awkward guy.
Chris Distefano
I'm just doing shoulders. But I. I was in my. I was watching. Listen for Research. I was watching a Hitler speech from the forties translated in English. I was just watching it, you know, whatever. Watch. It's a little thing I Weekly. Whatever. I was watching one and had the kids around. We don't do Ms. Rachel anymore. Now we do that. I'm kidding. I was watching this. This.
Mark Gagnon
I forgot to bring my knee. And it's his podcast.
Chris Distefano
And it's in English. And it's in English. And so you know, my girl who's, you know, Latina, feminist, whatever, you know, despises Hitler and the Right and all that stuff.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Andrew Schulz
That didn't make her a feminist, but.
Mark Gagnon
She'S got a pussy.
Chris Distefano
And so, and so she's in the kitchen, you know, making, you know, whatever her food. And so she's just listening, making breakfast. And she's. And Hitler's going off. I mean, Hitler's go. Because when Hitler, when he. When you listen to an English. No, it's awful what he did, right? But if you just listen to the words. Forget about what he did. Listen to the words he's basically saying. And he says it like, you know, in German, but translate English. He goes, we are about to fight the two great superpowers. Germany is about to fight England. Okay? And he says, and oh, what this video did was they changed Germany. Every time Hitler said Germany, they change it to the United States. But that's just. It was, it was a weird AI thing I was watching. But. But he says, Germany is about to fight England. These are two superpowers. And the only way, the only way to move forward is one must die and one must live. And I swear to my people, Germany will live. And people are like going crazy. It's like, whatever. And so you go wild. And then she's goes, yo, who is that? Like a new candidate. Who is that? That guy sounds awesome. I'll vote for that. I said, oh, yeah, it is a new candidate. His name's Adolf Hitler. And she was like, why?
Giannis Papas
You tricked me.
Chris Distefano
I was like, no, I didn't. No, I didn't. Because that's the thing with Hitler. He's all.
Andrew Schulz
You knew you loved him.
Chris Distefano
No, no, no, I don't love him.
Mark Gagnon
The kid is a closer.
Chris Distefano
No, no, no.
Mark Gagnon
The kid is a head.
Chris Distefano
That's what I'm saying.
Mark Gagnon
He's not a middle act dog. When you watch that guy perform, you almost. You want. You're like, ah, fuck yeah.
Chris Distefano
Adding shows.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. So.
Chris Distefano
No, so I'm saying that Hiller, all the stuff he did was.
Mark Gagnon
He is, he is.
Chris Distefano
He's hitting his bones.
Mark Gagnon
Try to follow that dude at the cell.
Chris Distefano
Okay, so he. It is. He's like a comedian that raps. You can't follow.
Mark Gagnon
So.
Giannis Papas
What'S his name? I don't know.
Mark Gagnon
There's a lot of them shout, Derek Gaines.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, so. Oh, he was not talking about Derek.
Mark Gagnon
I love Derek Gaines.
Chris Distefano
Okay, I forgot. I don't know exactly. I honestly really.
Giannis Papas
The one guy that doesn't have to sell it that you follow a dick.
Chris Distefano
No, they use. I always go when I want to do the comedy seller. I always say before 10pm so I'm always on the nice and early shows where it's just a bomb fest for Everybody, everybody's just kind of nailing it in at 7pm and we're just having fun. And then I go home, get the kids to, to bed and throw on Hitler in English. But, but I'm.
Mark Gagnon
But I'm just to go to sleep.
Chris Distefano
No, what we're saying is, is because you know there just have a conversation about.
Andrew Schulz
You remember the last episode, it was all parenting techniques.
Chris Distefano
Right.
Andrew Schulz
I think my family.
Chris Distefano
So. But, but what? Hity he what? He. So. So the thing is him so uncomfortable because with people, people always ask how the hell could Germany stand by and do this stuff? It' gifted of an oratory. He was able to take the German people and make them do atrocious things that when they woke up from the smoke they're like, why did I do that? It's like he convinced you to do it, dude. So that's what he did to my girl in a minute, accidentally.
Mark Gagnon
I mean, you know, he had to be that good. When you look at he a guy telling you how much the Jews are a problem and look that much like a Jew and convince you, you're like this dude.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
His speaking, they didn't even notice that he looked like.
Chris Distefano
He was like blonde hair.
Mark Gagnon
He was like, we're the superior people. The kid was a week and he, he's like, where's the period? We're like, where you. Yeah, yeah, you, you.
Chris Distefano
I was like, you look at your art, dude.
Mark Gagnon
You look, you look like you accountant. And he says.
Chris Distefano
And he was a vegetarian. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Giannis Papas
Really?
Chris Distefano
Yeah, dude. If I put on paper. If I put on paper.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
You know, vegetarian, loves animals and great speaker. And then I put on the other one, you know, eats me really uncomfortable being around and wants to kill everybody. You. And I say, which one's a good guy? Which one's the bad guy? You would obviously say, oh, the guy who eats me wants to kill everybody is the bad guy. But no, that's Winston Churchill. And then the good guy that you thought on paper was Hitler.
Giannis Papas
Yeah. Oh, oh, Churchill wanted to kill everybody. Well, that's what Churchill really hated.
Andrew Schulz
Indians. I don't fuck with Churchill.
Chris Distefano
That's what I'm saying. That's why, that's why, that's why I made, that's why I made unblinking eye contact with you when I said church. I wanted you to feel it.
Mark Gagnon
He wasn't too fond, right?
Chris Distefano
He did not like it.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
The holy British Empire.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
He did not like you guys.
Mark Gagnon
I mean, I guess it's bad time to finish what Churchill said. About the Greeks. Then.
Giannis Papas
What did he say?
Mark Gagnon
He said, from here on in, we will no longer say that Greeks fight like heroes. I get chills when I think about it. We will say that heroes fight like Greeks.
Chris Distefano
Yes.
Mark Gagnon
And. Hold on.
Chris Distefano
Big one.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, coming. I love it. Yeah.
Giannis Papas
He said that.
Mark Gagnon
He said that. Said that.
Giannis Papas
And he failed against the Turks, like the Greeks as well.
Mark Gagnon
Why.
Giannis Papas
Why do you think he would say that he had historic failure in World War I? I mean, why do you think that is?
Mark Gagnon
Because, you know, the muzzies are just. Tricky, Dog. Okay, Muzzies are tricky.
Andrew Schulz
Who's trickier, though, right?
Mark Gagnon
Muzzies are.
Chris Distefano
They're good.
Mark Gagnon
They're good muzzies, by the way. They're good muzzies.
Chris Distefano
They're the science. The best science scientists since antiquity. Always the cleanest people, right? Like in. In the. In the Crusades. You always talk about the. You know, you read these accounts, and it's like they could. The Muslims would say they could smell the Christian army coming from miles away.
Mark Gagnon
Because it was just barbaric. No, they had good. They had good. Like what? They had janissaries. So what they would do, like, you always gotta unify, but conquer. Unify in the right ways, divide in the right ways. So what the Ottomans would do is they would take a Christian boy, young, from the family, and then they would indoctrinate him and make turn a Muslim, and then he would go kill other Greeks. So they were like Manchurian Candidate brainwashed. Kind of like King Z, you know Z? Z's got an interesting story. That's why he makes. He's so dangerous to me. King Z. Dog, bow down.
Chris Distefano
I don't know who King Z is.
Mark Gagnon
You don't know who Z is?
Chris Distefano
You know who King Z is?
Andrew Schulz
Zoran.
Mark Gagnon
You guys are gonna know.
Andrew Schulz
Real Cesar Zoran Mumdani.
Mark Gagnon
I call him King Z, but he's Z, the president.
Chris Distefano
China Xi. Oh, Xi.
Mark Gagnon
I don't do the whole thing. Tomato, tomato.
Chris Distefano
The thing is with us is, what am I?
Mark Gagnon
Chinese?
Chris Distefano
Here's the thing.
Giannis Papas
I say hello.
Mark Gagnon
I say hello. Did I say hello? I'm not speaking Chinese.
Chris Distefano
Here's the thing about us as Z.
Mark Gagnon
To me, it says it's a Z and an I. Here's what they do.
Chris Distefano
G. Here's the thing.
Mark Gagnon
I'm stupid.
Chris Distefano
No, no, what it is, what it is.
Andrew Schulz
XY is xylophone. In your defense, isn't it Zi?
Mark Gagnon
What we call it? It's Xi.
Chris Distefano
What we call Giannis is Yanni. Because Yani will have a great point as he's about to make. And then one thing will be almost off. And then as history angels, we're both almost there. Like I'll give you an excellent point, well researched about Greek mythology and give you points that will wrap around into present day America. But I will accidentally the entire time be calling Plato Pluto.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
And that's just one.
Mark Gagnon
That's just how.
Chris Distefano
That's just how we are.
Mark Gagnon
So his story is very interesting because his father was like killed by the communists and then he was taken as a kid and indoctrinated. Much like a Janissary to love the communist party and stuff like that.
Giannis Papas
The Ottomans would do this with the women too. Wouldn't they all take like orphan girls? And that's who the.
Mark Gagnon
They would take boys too. This is a true story.
Giannis Papas
They would impregnate the orphan girls.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
So they wouldn't be one bloodline and like one royal family. Right. There was like a harem of all these orphan girls. So sometimes the kids were like Jewish or Muslim, didn't matter. It was kind of an interesting way like continue a bloodline.
Chris Distefano
But it would take boys. Back in the day, back in ancient history, everybody was for the table.
Mark Gagnon
That's true.
Chris Distefano
Everybody, everybody. It didn't matter. Boy, girl, you just can get eaten sexually.
Giannis Papas
And I thought it was too fell out, but really a sesh.
Chris Distefano
It was just a sesh.
Mark Gagnon
It was a sesh. Use sesh. Kids.
Giannis Papas
The disclosure I have invested in, in a company. Disclosure. FTC disclose. We're disclosing. Okay, continue in sesh. You have to disclose.
Chris Distefano
You better disclose. You got to disclose because if not Dan Bongino will take him.
Mark Gagnon
He's on that. So when you were saying though, you were saying, I want a sponsorship of sesh on the history.
Giannis Papas
We don't do sponsorship. You can invest. You know what I mean?
Mark Gagnon
Fucking invest.
Giannis Papas
Yeah, I know you will. I believe you're a property owner.
Mark Gagnon
That's some collateral.
Giannis Papas
No, but you were gonna say about.
Mark Gagnon
Xi, so I told you about Z. No, I was gonna say about my grandfather. It's a true story, I swear to God.
Giannis Papas
So yeah.
Mark Gagnon
With disease of maturity.
Chris Distefano
Why don't we talk about Xi Jinping?
Mark Gagnon
Xi Jinping?
Chris Distefano
Yeah. So my daughter went to an Ivy League school. Yeah, that's what people say. Oh, how could it be that bad? His daughter went to Ivy League school. I'm like, yeah, she's Chinese.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, and she's Chinese.
Chris Distefano
Why do you think she's fucking?
Giannis Papas
Couple teachers smuggle like some chemical weapons in 100. That's insane.
Mark Gagnon
They were going to kill the crops, dude.
Andrew Schulz
It's crazy.
Giannis Papas
And then I think. I think Trump, in this most recent agreement with China allowed them to have the students here again. Yeah, a lot of Donnie flip flops.
Mark Gagnon
I don't like this because, listen, dude, it's like people can't stop the Chinese. It's like saying if you're gonna say there's no more Chinese, that's like saying no more blacks in the NBA. I mean, they are the. They are, are the blacks real quick for Ivy Leagues.
Chris Distefano
It's true.
Andrew Schulz
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
Mark Gagnon
Indians too, but Chinese, really?
Andrew Schulz
I mean, no, no. Chinese don't do.
Chris Distefano
No, Indians are the best, dude. Look at India and Pakistan. They can't even get a plane off the ground. And they got the most nukes of anyone in Indian scientists. And these guys are just making.
Andrew Schulz
That's why India sucks when you're making news.
Mark Gagnon
Indians are killing it too.
Chris Distefano
I love Indians.
Giannis Papas
All right, guys, let's take a break for a second. Today's episode is sponsored by Acorns. Acorns is a financial wellness app that helps you take control of your money with simple tools, making it easy to start saving investing for your future financial wellness is possible. And Acorns gives you small, simple steps to get you and your money on track. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that matches you and your money goals. You don't need to be rich. Acorn lets you get started with the spare money you've got right now, even if all you got is spare change. I think it's a. I think it's actually an amazing tool. Yeah, I, I genuinely believe that it's just about understanding compound interest and how that can, you know, benefit you and your future 10 years from now, 20 years from now, 30 years from now. This is not like picking random letters on the stock market and hoping they explode. Right? This is not what we call investing now, which is really gambling. This is about setting money inside, investing in companies or in a plethora of companies that you believe will succeed over the long term in protecting your investments. I think it's a fascinating way of going about investing, probably not dissimilar to how the idea of the stock market began. So right now I want you to sign up and you can join over 14 million all time customers who have already saved and invested over $25 billion with Acorns. Plus, Acorns will boost your new account with a $20 bonus investment offer available@acorns.com flagrant that is a C O R N S.com flagrant to get your $20 bonus investment today. And also this paid non client endorsement compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns Tier 2 compensation provide investing boss risk Acorns Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor viewport disclosures acorns.com flicker Guys, let's take a break for a second. We got to shout out Magic Spoon. Magic Spoon. First of all, been with y. You obviously know them from their high protein zero sugar cereal. They also got the treats. They have reinvented your childhood nostalgia and flavors but without all that sugar that gave you add. Magic spoon is also launching a brand new high protein granola. True to the magic spoon promise, it is packed with protein and deliciously crunchy. Crunchy. It's absolutely fantastic. Obviously the treats we know, Magic Spoons high protein treats are crispy, crunchy, airy and an easy way to get 12 grams of protein protein on the go. You might not have time to sit down, pour the milk into the bowl with the cereal and have that delicious breakfast. You might have to be on the go. Grab those treats. And also the granola. Brand new, 13 grams of protein, zero added sugars. They come in delicious flavors like dark chocolate almonds, honey almonds and peanut butter. And right now you get $5 off your next order at magicspoon.com flagrant or look for magic spoon on Amazon or in your nearest grocery store. That's magic spoon.com flagrant from $5 off. Now let's get back to the show.
Mark Gagnon
So my dad's family was. It was from Invros, Right. So it was part of the Ottoman Empire. So they actually sent my dad to Egypt, to Alexandria because the local viceroy, I don't know what the, I can't remember what the Ottomans called it, but.
Giannis Papas
He'S basically the governor.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. Governor of this place.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
He would rape Greek boys. That was his thing.
Giannis Papas
Oh, really into it.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Just one.
Giannis Papas
Why is that? Why is that big bare?
Mark Gagnon
You're about to say why is that bad?
Chris Distefano
No, no.
Giannis Papas
It just seems like a consistent thing with the Greeks. It's like what is it so special.
Mark Gagnon
Not consistent with the Greeks?
Chris Distefano
Hairless.
Mark Gagnon
The Ottomans were doing it.
Giannis Papas
Right? The Greeks are hairless.
Chris Distefano
That's the thing about them. They don't have hair. They have everywhere but the.
Giannis Papas
Oh, so they're like a chimpanzee.
Chris Distefano
Exactly.
Giannis Papas
Interesting. I get it. That makes sense.
Mark Gagnon
That makes sense.
Giannis Papas
That makes a lot of sense.
Chris Distefano
Yes. That's why they're prime candidates. And Korean people have genes where they don't smell.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Koreans do not smell can't smell no bo. Stinkless people.
Mark Gagnon
That's why they like them lady boys, two Asians. Because they're starting with an advantage with no hair. So they're more believable. They don't got to get r all that. They kind of.
Giannis Papas
So you were saying your dad got.
Mark Gagnon
Sent away so your dad.
Chris Distefano
Your dad raped a Greek boy.
Mark Gagnon
My dad, the Greek boy. So they sent him to Alexandria because this. So he. And he never saw his family again.
Giannis Papas
To avoid being.
Mark Gagnon
To avoid being. So he was like the most brothers, huh?
Giannis Papas
Did you dad have brothers? And how did the family pick his asshole to save?
Mark Gagnon
Because he might have been the cutest. He might have been the cutest.
Chris Distefano
Here's the thing with being green.
Mark Gagnon
The cutest is gay.
Chris Distefano
Will touch you. It's going to get you one way or another.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Like it. Yanni's got one of three now one of his brothers is fully gay. Like full out of the closet.
Mark Gagnon
Which we call fully charged.
Chris Distefano
Actual fully $3 bill has sex with men.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
And then Yanni was nicked.
Mark Gagnon
I was nicked.
Chris Distefano
Yanni was nicked by the gay g. Not fully gay, but not fully straight.
Giannis Papas
What does that mean? How did you figure that out?
Mark Gagnon
I got nicked just because of my tastes. I mean I dress up in a dress and put a wig on.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
About the most famous thing he's ever done.
Mark Gagnon
I don't think she males are that gay. No, I mean there's certain things.
Chris Distefano
We actually proved it. Yanni proved it to me scientifically why masturbating to trans porn is actually the most manly thing you do. And it's the solution because he showed me an article and then we spent hours speaking about it where he said that this is a neurological thing. When you watch porn, the two most excitable parts of the male brain that stimulate your sexual organs are when you see big tits and a big dick. Yeah. That's what you will. You will subconsciously fast forward through porn if the guy's piece isn't big enough. So if you connect, combine a big piece and big titties, you have a trans person. That's the type of porn that gets you the most excited. And that's what yours have a little.
Mark Gagnon
Bit of an imagination. You just call it a horniness antenna.
Chris Distefano
Well, you call it what it really.
Mark Gagnon
Is, is what's horny.
Chris Distefano
Horny. Or you call it again, another version of a loophole.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
How is it cheating on you, babe? If that's a guy.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. Or was a guy. Or was a guy. You just go oh, my dick was so big it broke through to the other side. I went right through her. Problem solved. Nobody can look at you. Anyone. I want anyone to look at Carmen Carrera and tell me that's a guy.
Chris Distefano
What a babe.
Andrew Schulz
Pull it out.
Mark Gagnon
Tell me that's a guy. Look at me and tell me that's a guy with a straight face. Even Alex will admit it. And it's not. Those are things that's not easy to admit in his community. But when, you know, Alex found out, we know what's going on.
Chris Distefano
We're about.
Andrew Schulz
You're about to see who it is.
Giannis Papas
Don't worry.
Mark Gagnon
I mean, just go to her Instagram. Instagram. Don't act like you haven't Googled it before. Look at this kid, okay?
Chris Distefano
He looks like a disguise face. Guy looks like a disguise Halloween.
Mark Gagnon
Who the is this kid? You don't know who Carver Carrera is.
Giannis Papas
Dog, she's the one from the Joe. But look at this guy.
Chris Distefano
Pull up in the sky face and then pull up.
Giannis Papas
This kid shot a joke.
Mark Gagnon
Wait, that's not her.
Chris Distefano
That's not her. Who the hell is that? Pull up at the sky face and.
Giannis Papas
Look at this kid.
Andrew Schulz
Guy's face is unbelievable.
Chris Distefano
That's unbelievable.
Mark Gagnon
Look at his.
Chris Distefano
This kid bought his face at a 99 cent.
Giannis Papas
You got it on your phone.
Andrew Schulz
Oh, my God.
Giannis Papas
That's incredible.
Mark Gagnon
Oh, my God.
Giannis Papas
This is the girl from the Joe button clip. Is that you know the one where he finds out on the coup's therapy show? You haven't seen that one?
Chris Distefano
No, no.
Giannis Papas
Al, you know what I'm talking about.
Unknown
Where he turns his head slow.
Giannis Papas
Yeah, he turns his head slow. He's like, what the is going on? So he's in a couple's therapy. Yeah. She looks shockingly female.
Mark Gagnon
Shockingly female?
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Andrew Schulz
Which one is she on?
Giannis Papas
That left. Left? Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
It's something people got to accept, you know, like we gorgeous, we can go to Mars, we can cure cancer, we can change.
Giannis Papas
Have you ever dabbled?
Mark Gagnon
No, I haven't dabbled.
Giannis Papas
Would you feel uncomfortable dabbling?
Chris Distefano
No.
Mark Gagnon
I mean, I'm married. I would.
Giannis Papas
No, obviously, in a hypothetical scenario, I.
Mark Gagnon
Mean, you know, it depends.
Giannis Papas
What does it depend on?
Andrew Schulz
Yeah, if she says yes, it depends on how I'm.
Mark Gagnon
If I'm fooled, I'm fooled.
Giannis Papas
No, that doesn't count. If you're fooled, it doesn't count.
Mark Gagnon
You're saying going into it, going, absolutely. I wouldn't care. I, I, if I see a woman, it's what I'm attracted to. And if, if she's got a piece. We're just doing something different when the piece is. I know we're doing something different hard.
Giannis Papas
You're not going to let the piece.
Mark Gagnon
I just say I guess we're doing something different tonight.
Giannis Papas
So when you're on, sometimes you have.
Chris Distefano
Italian, sometimes you have Mexican for dinner. Something different. You got to eat something you like a little something different.
Giannis Papas
Have you ever done a little something different?
Chris Distefano
I've never done a little something different with a trans person, but I will. I have publicly said that I'd like to go the first 50 years of my life straight in the last 50 game and explore. So I like to explore all the types of things I am not. It's not out of the question. It's not out of the question for me to at some point dabble. But I don't want to do it now. I have a beautiful family, I have a beautiful life, a beautiful fiance. So I'm not, I'm not going to, I'm not going to risk that.
Andrew Schulz
Y married?
Chris Distefano
Huh?
Andrew Schulz
Y mar.
Chris Distefano
No.
Mark Gagnon
How many kids?
Chris Distefano
Three kids. And the thing is I got to.
Giannis Papas
Do it now cuz I was committed to for 50 years. Years.
Chris Distefano
I got to do it now because now she wants citizenship.
Giannis Papas
John, you're how old are you?
Chris Distefano
40.
Mark Gagnon
So he's going to be 10 years.
Andrew Schulz
And then he, he waiting around.
Giannis Papas
He's waiting around. No, can't do it, baby. Now we get.
Chris Distefano
No, we are getting married. We got engaged on January 6th, swear to God.
Mark Gagnon
Which is a holiday to a lot of people. Yeah, they blew. They do an AOC pinata. They get zip ties, grandma. Yeah, some people's houses.
Unknown
That's a holiday.
Chris Distefano
I don't, I, I, I will say I'm it. It's not out of the question. I'm not looking for it. I don't want to right now. I support whatever people want to do right now. I'm not interested in having you. Wouldn't take some head hooking up with a. Listen, like I said, I grew up in Queens. I've gotten blowjobs from girls with mustaches, but I'm not, you know what I mean? Italian chicks, you know what I mean? You know who you are? Shout out Sabrina Petisi. I would be, but you get a little bit of a tickle.
Mark Gagnon
That's how you came.
Chris Distefano
So I would tackle, I would. I'm not interested now. I'm certainly not interested now.
Unknown
What's the gayest thing you've ever done?
Andrew Schulz
He got mouth fucked when he was 14 years old.
Chris Distefano
Being ultra boy, I Think he told.
Andrew Schulz
This story on the pod?
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
The gay.
Unknown
Is that the gayest thing for him?
Chris Distefano
Yeah. Yeah. I've never really done. I mess around. I begged Mateo Lane to tell me I'm gay. And he's like, buddy, you're not gay. I can't tell you you're not gay. It's just a thing that I think I have fun with, and it's. It's my comedy.
Mark Gagnon
Well, I think.
Chris Distefano
And being Catholic, I think you're all. We're all just all boy Catholic high schools. It's like you would get teabagged or teabag someone, and if they didn't laugh, you'd be like, what are you gay? It's like, no, I'm traumatized.
Mark Gagnon
I think everyone lies, dude. I think everyone lies. I really do.
Andrew Schulz
Wait, Giannis, question. You're having sex with a trans person or whatever. Penis.
Mark Gagnon
Hold on, let me get my penis out.
Andrew Schulz
Penis gets hard. You're charged up.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Andrew Schulz
What are you doing?
Mark Gagnon
My penis gets taken. I'm charged up.
Andrew Schulz
No, no. That bad girl with the penis. The penis gets erect, as I assume it. She's turned on, sort of. Are you putting your mouth on that dick or no?
Mark Gagnon
Am I? Oh, that's a good question.
Andrew Schulz
Because you're all horny, you know, I mean, it's there. Probably you're already.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Andrew Schulz
Okay.
Giannis Papas
What about this?
Mark Gagnon
I mean, I don't know. I can't. I can't. You know, that's the thing. This is what's interesting about history, what we've learned and what a lot of people.
Chris Distefano
This is what I want to tell you about the Revolutionary War.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
This is.
Mark Gagnon
But seriously, when you look back in history. When you look back in history. Yeah. Really do.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. I'm here live. This is Pride Month, dude. I'm a great spokesperson, dude.
Chris Distefano
Do you know how many times I've walked into his apartment and he's not recording anything? And he's just sitting there with the Marisa wig on.
Mark Gagnon
That's what I do.
Chris Distefano
Sitting there, hanging out.
Mark Gagnon
I just go, I'll.
Chris Distefano
Me.
Giannis Papas
That's right.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
I would.
Chris Distefano
Me.
Mark Gagnon
That's right. I would. Definitely me.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
Well, when you look back in history, a lot of the manliest guys and a lot of the cultures during these empires, there wasn't a concept like we have now of gay and straight. Alexander the Great had a favorite eunuch.
Andrew Schulz
He was gay.
Mark Gagnon
He had a gay lover.
Andrew Schulz
He was gay.
Mark Gagnon
Two of the best Roman emperors were gay, like Trajan, Hadrian. These guys were gay.
Giannis Papas
Hadrian was gay.
Mark Gagnon
Hadrian Was gay.
Chris Distefano
You weren't in a box back then. Now we have all these rules and regulations. There was no rules and regulations back then. You just had a little fun.
Giannis Papas
You don't think there was any rules.
Chris Distefano
And regulations, but not with sexuality. Listen, I was fucking doing with all the regulations. The only rule was don't be a Jew. No, but. But everybody was gay back then. All these guys. If you look, I mean even at Abraham Lincoln now it's like, oh, this is Abraham Lincoln gay. It's like back then everybody knew that the president before him, James Buchanan, 100% gay.
Giannis Papas
Really?
Unknown
Buchana was for sure.
Chris Distefano
He did not have a wife.
Giannis Papas
FDR's wife. Definitely gay.
Chris Distefano
Definitely 100% gay.
Mark Gagnon
100% wheels wasn't gay.
Giannis Papas
No.
Chris Distefano
FDR's. FDR's wife. Eleanor.
Giannis Papas
Eleanor.
Chris Distefano
She was. She was all.
Unknown
They say she's wearing cargo pants.
Chris Distefano
Dude, watch Wedding crow.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, I mean Bill Clinton's wipes.
Andrew Schulz
Oh, yeah.
Chris Distefano
I think people.
Giannis Papas
What happened? Why do you think that we're so homophobic now?
Mark Gagnon
I think religion. I think religion.
Giannis Papas
There's always been religion. You can make the argument that there was more religion back then.
Andrew Schulz
I think the Abrahamic religions are exceptionally against homosexuality. And there's probably some societal reason. Probably Greeks are doing too much.
Chris Distefano
I think one. Seriously. I also think we're living.
Giannis Papas
I know that really gave the boy can't consent.
Mark Gagnon
Right.
Giannis Papas
But you can make any argument for boys.
Mark Gagnon
Dude. We weren't the only ones. Ottomans, Chinese dynasties, Spanish.
Chris Distefano
From Spain.
Mark Gagnon
Spanish.
Chris Distefano
I just want to lump them in because I just want to make it a point that they started slavery. Want to make sure everybody knows that.
Mark Gagnon
The boy stuff is kind of inexcusable.
Chris Distefano
Another boy?
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, it's kind of. Maybe that's how bad the fumes were that guys had to create alternatives. I think that because there was no shaved hair back then and the fumes do get caught in the hair.
Chris Distefano
That's fair.
Mark Gagnon
Maybe the guys just were like, you know what? Tonight I just don't feel like dealing with the fumes.
Giannis Papas
Well, I think that pregnancy might have been a concern.
Mark Gagnon
Pregnancy concern.
Giannis Papas
Maybe impregnating someone that you don't want to. You're just trying to.
Unknown
They had condoms back in the day.
Giannis Papas
What's that?
Unknown
They had condoms.
Giannis Papas
Like, what was it like, sheep skin?
Unknown
Yeah, it was like a sheep colon or some shit.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, they just use a juice.
Chris Distefano
Foreskin. Yeah. Seriously. No, but I also think that nowadays.
Giannis Papas
Instead of using a sheep's colonial, I'll just use a boy's colon. That's how that works.
Chris Distefano
That's why he's having sex with him. He's trying to get that colon. Rip it out.
Mark Gagnon
The human mind is really crazy. Yeah, it really is. Kind of. We're very weird.
Chris Distefano
I don't know how this is the Greek mind. Mind.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Unknown
Don't put it on us.
Chris Distefano
But I think that even though there's a lot of problems today, there's war and a million problems going on ultimately comparative to the past. You're living a great life.
Andrew Schulz
Oh, absolutely.
Chris Distefano
So now you have a lot of time to get enraged at who's gay and who's not. Back then it's like you're either going to die in the war, you're going to die of polio, you're going to. Somebody's going to kill you.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
So you're like, do you work? Do you care if your president's sexual proclivities? Nobody cared. They were like.
Giannis Papas
How often was, like, a town getting sacked back in the day?
Mark Gagnon
Oh, dude, what did that look like?
Giannis Papas
Like, you have a town, there's probably like a few hundred people living in it.
Mark Gagnon
A lot of grape juice. Yeah, a lot of grape juice.
Chris Distefano
He means.
Giannis Papas
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chris Distefano
Oh, sorry.
Giannis Papas
You're doing your thing, you're farming, you're doing whatever. And then some army shows up.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
All I see is a shirt.
Andrew Schulz
This guy's face is un believable.
Giannis Papas
You got to show Joey on camera. So.
Chris Distefano
Unbelievable.
Giannis Papas
Like, how regular was that happening?
Mark Gagnon
It was so regular, man.
Giannis Papas
So, so was, like, was. Was conquering that hard, like. And we give all this credit for, like, Alexander the Great, like, going to conquer all these places, but was it really just showing up with more guys?
Mark Gagnon
You guys really want sticking to the Greeks. Dude, you're talking about the Floyd Mayweather. Well, Stephen gre.
Giannis Papas
He would never identify as Greek.
Mark Gagnon
Macedonia is Greek. He was the Floyd Mayweather of conquerors.
Andrew Schulz
I also think Philip apparently did a lot of. He set up a lot of that shit and then died.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, he was a little bit of. He was a little bit of a Nepo baby.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
But he took it to another level. He's like Steph Curry. You know, his dad was Del Curry, but he was a Steph Curry.
Chris Distefano
You know what I was thinking about.
Mark Gagnon
Like, and he was Greek as fuck.
Chris Distefano
How did they know? Big land masses. Like, how did they know where the other army was going to be?
Giannis Papas
There's got be to be, like, one road.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, but couldn't I. I feel like even that, like, how would I know? Like, oh, how does Genghis Khan know It's like they're going to be there.
Giannis Papas
You follow the river. You think people live on the river?
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Yeah. You just kill them all? I guess that's what you think.
Giannis Papas
Yeah. I would think there was, like, a phoenix back in the day.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
Like where they just make a place in the middle of the desert. I think everything's by a body of water. You follow the body of water, eventually run to some people, take over the town.
Chris Distefano
Right, right.
Mark Gagnon
That's what we did. We just conquered each other over and over.
Giannis Papas
That's what I'm trying to wonder. It's like, you're this town, there's 300 people. The Ottomans come in. They like, we're in charge. You go, well, will you protect us from these people that are raiding? They go, yeah, we'll do it. I'm like, okay, you guys are in charge.
Chris Distefano
You do it.
Giannis Papas
I wonder if it was that much actual, like, battle.
Chris Distefano
But that's the problem with culture is, like.
Giannis Papas
And we're giving all this credit to these people who've, like, won all these wars. But, like, if you're winning a war against someone who's not even really fighting back, they're just like, hey, just protect us.
Mark Gagnon
I always suspected that because when you think about, like, the. The tales of Alexander the Great being in the front, you would never be in the front. Yeah. Did you just tell. You were. He was probably on the back on his horse, just like. Yeah, just make it. Just put me in the front. Like, that looks bad because you've been the front.
Giannis Papas
You can't believe any of the old history.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. No.
Giannis Papas
I don't even know if you could believe, like, revolution.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Andrew Schulz
We know who won.
Mark Gagnon
But that's why Tyler Herro has the best theory right now. You heard what he said.
Andrew Schulz
I don't believe that.
Mark Gagnon
He doesn't believe in history.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
He does not do that.
Giannis Papas
He said it in the dumbest way, but he's not exactly wrong.
Mark Gagnon
Right.
Giannis Papas
Where it's just like, whoever wins kind of, like, writes it in the way that's most favorable. And then we just make movies about that and that's solidified.
Chris Distefano
Read a book or Google or, like, do some research on whatever history history you believe. Read the opposition side. Like, read American history from the Nazi side, from the British side. Read it. No, I'm saying read it from their side and then you get a clearer picture of, like, whoa. What actually happened. Because it's just two versions of the same story.
Giannis Papas
Yeah. What do the Brits say about the Revolutionary War?
Chris Distefano
The Brits say About the Revolutionary War. When you look at the British, they say that they fought. They wanted to, you know, these colonies, the 13 colonies, which still is just the best landmass in the world. I really genuinely only fuck with the 13 colonies. I like the American 13 colleagues. When I go like, I was just in New Mexico. It's like, this wasn't part of the plan. I know it's American now, but it's like, I get there and I'm like, the people were fine, but it's like, dude. And then I'm there in Santa Fe, the capital. I love state capitals. I love taking pictures in front of state capitals. A little autistic, and I like it. But I'm there in Santa Fe and it's like these people with the no kings thing, they're doing the no kings protest. And it's like, guys, you're not even really a place. Like, I like, you're not even really state. And it's like, I have to see, like. And it brings out these protests. Brings out the most nuts people like, you ever seen a trans Native American person? It blows your mind.
Giannis Papas
They've had those forever, though. Yeah. The two spirit, you want to take a session? Please.
Chris Distefano
It's trans Native American was disclosed.
Giannis Papas
We're disclosing, by the way, closing. Yeah, yeah.
Chris Distefano
But. But anyway, so. So anyway, these 13 colonies, the British believe that, you know, we got to fight for them, we want them, there's an uprising here, blah, blah, blah. And then when it became not financially good for the British anymore, they just left. So, yes, France came, and that's called losing a war. Right, but no, but. But there was, like, Britain was fighting, like, 10 other wars at the time of the Revolutionary War. So even the soldiers that the thirteen colonies were fighting were not the best of the best of Britain. Britain was fighting in India.
Giannis Papas
That's what they would say, of course.
Chris Distefano
Right, right.
Giannis Papas
But because they would send their best to India, where they don't even have weapons.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, yeah. So and so. But the British would say, hey, France came, we left, whatever. We were losing too much money trying to hold on to these colonies, so let them go. Because what we, like, you know about. We know about 1776. We know about that war, American revolution, we beat the mighty British. All these things are true with little quirks here and there. But then you don't really learn much about the War of 1812. Why? Because the British beat us. But the war the of 1812, in Britain, you learn about that. But in America, that's a day you got to research the War of 1812.
Giannis Papas
What happened in the War of 1812 that they beat us?
Chris Distefano
The British. The British basically knocked us. They wasn't about territory. The War of 1812 was, you know, like we got the Louisiana Purchase out of that. Like Thomas Jefferson.
Giannis Papas
But Jefferson worked that out with the French.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, with the French. But the British, what a deal.
Mark Gagnon
I mean, that's how you know the.
Giannis Papas
Greatest real estate deal.
Mark Gagnon
Some Jewish advisors. For that.
Chris Distefano
You go to a pack.
Mark Gagnon
Of cigarettes and some belts.
Giannis Papas
It's very good.
Chris Distefano
You know what's crazy about the Louisiana Purchase is like every. I always think about this like whoever the smartest person is at, I don't know, Elon Musk. Right. Whoever, the top person, he's the highest person they know. Like, if we look. People 200 years from now are gonna look back at whatever is we're thinking and be like, remember when they used to think like that? Idiots. Because it's just what it is. Thomas Jefferson, sitting active president of the United States get the Louisiana Purchase sends. Has Lewis and Clark in his own office and says, guys gonna go out. They want you to explore this territory. Okay. I want you to take extra people and extra weapons. We know there's Native Americans out there. We know there's gonna be crazy terrain. There also could be dinosaurs. Absolutely could be dinosaurs. So we gotta just be careful. And so at that point in 18, they literally. Thomas Jefferson, the president was like, yeah, there could be a T. Rex out there running, running around Louisiana. So that always fascinated me because I don't know, I'm actually just buying time because I forgot why Britain won the war based on what they got. But I just know they won. And I am just.
Giannis Papas
Isn't that how you get people excited to just go to the middle of nowhere and get bow and arrows shot at them? You go, listen, guys, I need you to go over here and there's no civilization whatsoever, but you might see a dinosaur.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
Doesn't that seem like you kind of propagandize people moving out west maybe?
Chris Distefano
Or you just. There was. They didn't know any better yet. Like, I don't think in 200 years from now we're going to be eating meat. I think they're going to look at us and be like, what a bunch of barbed berries.
Andrew Schulz
I think about that a lot.
Chris Distefano
They were. Remember when they used to eat animals and not understand that their consciousness is like the same as ours?
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
You know?
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. Well, I hope that never happens.
Giannis Papas
Yeah. I don't know.
Andrew Schulz
Because technology will be to the point that there will be some lab grown that will taste the exact same. And then what's going to be funny is they look at our heroes and they're like, that guy, he ate meat. He killed animals the same way we look at, like, slave owners 200 years ago. I think they're going to do that with our guys now in 20 years. But like, that guy. That guy killed so many, it just ate meat whenever you wanted to. Whoever.
Chris Distefano
Oh, oh, yeah, Whoever.
Andrew Schulz
The hero.
Unknown
Look at Obama or something.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah.
Unknown
Like, first black president.
Andrew Schulz
They're gonna pull up Joe Rogan clips and be like, this guy killed bears, dude. This guy.
Chris Distefano
Scumbag. We have to take the statue of him in Austin down.
Giannis Papas
All right, guys, let's take a little break for a second, talk about these NBA Finals. I think OKC wraps it up.
Andrew Schulz
I know, I know. Game five, I think the Pacers had their shot. And over game four was they could have gone up three, one.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Andrew Schulz
And they fucked it.
Giannis Papas
What happened to Tyrese?
Andrew Schulz
I don't know. He's hurt, but he's zero points in the first half. Just don't play at that point.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Andrew Schulz
What was the injury, David, that Tyrese Halliburton had?
Giannis Papas
Oh, yeah, it's. It's interesting because if they lose, nobody remembers this playoff run. Yeah, that is one of the great playoff runs by an NBA basketball player in history.
Chris Distefano
Like, yeah.
Giannis Papas
Stole multiple games, game winners, fantastic outings, and OKC is going to win. And then none of those mean anything.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah, it's kind of crazy. And no one cares that OKC's one.
Giannis Papas
Yeah, it's Oklahoma's yo. Shout out OKC, though. Like, there's no reason that team should be good based on, like, any metric in terms of, like, a small market team with limited budget. No NBA stars want to go play there. And they find a way to all always be in it.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
Just a bunch of young boys, bro.
Giannis Papas
But they were. They did it back with the Russell Westbrook, James Harden. Yeah, what is that?
Unknown
Just front office.
Andrew Schulz
I think it's that guy Sam Presti.
Giannis Papas
They're just nice. They get it. They draft well. They know the only chance they have is drafting well.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
And then when they have to make some big trades, they just. They go all in.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah. And they'll sign role players like, Hartenstein was perfect for what they needed. Alex Caruso is perfect for what they needed.
Giannis Papas
We could have used some Hartenstein.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
Like a guy. A guy who won't turn the big, that won't turn the ball over, can kind of dribble and will play D.
Andrew Schulz
Any contender can use Alex Caruso. How you don't pay that guy.
Giannis Papas
Yeah. It's just crazy.
Andrew Schulz
He didn't sound like a massive deal.
Giannis Papas
He said something funny. He was, There's a guy, Jaylen Turner, who's like the other star on the team. He was saying, like, man, everybody saying Alex Crusoe is a great defender. I'll be cooking him in practice or something like that. And he goes, Alex says, yeah, once I got an NBA contract extension, I haven't been putting as much effort in my practice.
Andrew Schulz
James. Jalen Williams.
Giannis Papas
What's his name? Sorry, Jeremy. Sorry.
Unknown
Well, okc. Just defensively is.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah, they're everywhere.
Unknown
Dominant.
Giannis Papas
Yeah, yeah. And. And they have like, like they have guys that can bring the ball up fast. Like, I love Jalen Brunson. I love him. I run faster than him, right? I. I can run faster straight than Jalen Brunson and he could barely bring the ball up against the Pacers. I can run faster than him in a straight on race.
Andrew Schulz
At 41 years old.
Giannis Papas
At 41 years old, I think at. I think at 50.
Chris Distefano
I think we need to bring Jalen.
Andrew Schulz
Brunson on the podcast and do this.
Giannis Papas
I love J.
Chris Distefano
What's his 40s?
Andrew Schulz
Jaylen. Yeah, you do love for Jaylen. Jaylen. Let's cut a promo. Jaylen Brunson, Andrew Schultz, global phenomenon comedian, says he is faster than you. Global phenomenon, NBA star.
Giannis Papas
Yeah. Straight up race, full race, straight up.
Andrew Schulz
92Ft, end to end basketball, whatever it is.
Unknown
Before you do cat cows.
Andrew Schulz
You said distance. He says he will beat you in a straight line.
Giannis Papas
I need to do my cat cows. Almost stretches. Cat cows if it's cold.
Unknown
No cat cows. I think you're in trouble.
Chris Distefano
Come on.
Andrew Schulz
Flagrant.
Chris Distefano
We will do this.
Giannis Papas
I genuinely believe it. Just straight up. I'm not saying that I'm a better basketball player.
Andrew Schulz
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Mark Gagnon
We know that.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know that. We don't think you're saying something different.
Giannis Papas
I'm not saying that he's better than me at basketball. Like, I think he's a better shooter. I think he's a better dribbler. I think that he uses his body way better. Like, it's amazing what he can do being so limited with speed. I think I've been faster than Jalen Brunson since I was 14 years old. I mean that, I mean, that's 100%.
Andrew Schulz
Seriously, if you told me 21 year old, you could beat him in a foot race, there's no way of knowing. There's no way of knowing. Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Five foot nothing. Taylor from Brilliant Idiots.
Giannis Papas
I think she could beat him. I think.
Andrew Schulz
Didn't he beat her ass and she, like, pulled the hamstring?
Giannis Papas
I did.
Andrew Schulz
I think he beat the out of her.
Chris Distefano
It's funny.
Andrew Schulz
He beat Taylor's ass. She ended up just getting pregnant. She was so. She was like, there's nothing else.
Giannis Papas
With all the respect. With all due respect, I. I do.
Andrew Schulz
Not think there'll be Jalen Brunson in a foot race.
Giannis Papas
I think it's a foot race at.
Andrew Schulz
41 with a bad angle. Two, son. You got. You got that thing with the wood thing that you got to stand on.
Giannis Papas
I know. I do it every single time. It's like I got to stretch out the Achilles. I would have to do a proper stretch of everything. But I'm saying in a foot race without. We're not dribbling a basketball. If we were dribbling basketball, I think it'd be me. But if we were just in a foot race.
Mark Gagnon
Yes.
Giannis Papas
And it was just go start here and get to there. As long as it's enough distance where I could pick up speed.
Chris Distefano
Okay. 100 meters.
Giannis Papas
It's not even close.
Andrew Schulz
We have to make this happen.
Giannis Papas
I mean, that's insane.
Andrew Schulz
Jalen, you're in New York. It's the off season. It's a part of your training. Let's do it.
Giannis Papas
I don't even think it's close. Like, if you want to bet on that. A steak.
Chris Distefano
Let's have steak.
Andrew Schulz
Let's have steak. Set of a bet.
Giannis Papas
Yeah. I think he's a better basketball player than me. I just want to. I'm not out here saying, like, I knew that I could beat Jason Williams when I played him one on one. I knew that that would happen because I think I'm going to give you.
Andrew Schulz
Seven in a game to matter.
Giannis Papas
Like, if he gave me four, I would have done it. I did what it was needed to be done.
Mark Gagnon
I did what was needed to be done.
Chris Distefano
I didn't ask for it.
Giannis Papas
He gave it to me. I was like, okay, I'll make it interesting. I think.
Unknown
I think Schultz is a psycho competitor. I saw him do a 10 minute plank one time. No training, just added.
Giannis Papas
It was 11 minutes and 48 seconds.
Unknown
For no reason, for nothing on the line. And he was like, I'm going to do a plank for 11 minutes.
Giannis Papas
Well, because somebody said that they could outplank me and they busted first.
Andrew Schulz
Okay.
Chris Distefano
I'm actually impressed by that.
Giannis Papas
I think, actually.
Chris Distefano
Really?
Giannis Papas
Yeah. We can't exactly say who it is.
Andrew Schulz
Incredibly impressive.
Giannis Papas
Yeah, yeah. But I'll put my body on the line.
Andrew Schulz
Jalen Brunson is a top five NBA player, quite possibly, if not six, seven.
Giannis Papas
Top five to me. I mean, I think he's so good. Like, like I said, he's better than me. Basketball, I. What I'm saying is in a straight on race, I am better than him.
Andrew Schulz
This is a future Olympic athlete.
Giannis Papas
This is. It's just genetics. It's like, do you have fast twitch or not? I have more fast twitch. I also have long legs. I have a lot of advantages that are unfair.
Chris Distefano
All legs.
Giannis Papas
My twitches are unbelievable.
Chris Distefano
He's one of the fastest twitches.
Andrew Schulz
All the twitches. Your legs.
Giannis Papas
Jaylen's twitches are much. Can. Can he slow down faster than me? Yeah, if it was. Who can get to the fastest speed and then slow down?
Chris Distefano
There's a brick wall in front of you, Jaylen.
Giannis Papas
I'm going through the brick wall. I'm going through the brick wall 100%. He's. I would say he's a better athlete.
Unknown
Reluctantly.
Giannis Papas
I would say. I would say lateral.
Andrew Schulz
Lateral quickness. He got you.
Giannis Papas
Oh, my God. I don't even know if I have that anymore.
Andrew Schulz
Okay.
Giannis Papas
Actually, glad you brought this up. No, no, no. I think he's got me on that. No, he's got me on everything pretty much.
Chris Distefano
You're pretty good side to side.
Giannis Papas
I am pretty good side to side.
Chris Distefano
I'm just saying.
Giannis Papas
Yeah, I am pretty good side to side. But in just a straight race, I'm beating him. Put it this way, I could D him up like 94ft. Like, I could do the. I could. I could full court press against Jaylen and I wouldn't be like worried like, yes, he would get in body me, but I could just run back around in front of you. It would take him eight seconds to get the ball up.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Giannis Papas
Against me. I don't believe that at all. The other stuff I believe. Okay. Anyway, Steak, you can put some money on that, you know. Steak is the leader in global betting and US social casinos. Bet on top sports and political events and use the promo code flagrant for your welcome bonus. Now let's get back to the show. What do you think happens with AI Giannis?
Chris Distefano
Wow.
Mark Gagnon
That. That's. This is the generation right now, dude. Gen Z. When you look in Gen Z's eyes right now, what do you see? I see they are shell shocked.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
This is the generation.
Chris Distefano
They.
Mark Gagnon
They're being told there's gonna be no jobs. When they grow up, they got all this World War three stuff going on. Their whole lives are recordable. So they're scared to make a mistake. Right? Because their big thing is they don't wanna be cringe. That's so cringe. So one moment can define their whole life. So they're just walking around scared to live. They're scared to live. This is the first time I have daughters and my daughter's someday gonna be like, what should I be when I grow up? And I can, I can't. I'm going to be like, you got nice feet. Be a foot model on Onlyfans. Because I know that'll be there. So it's like, I can't say how.
Giannis Papas
But some AI person figure it out.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, but then there'll be a fetish for human feet. And my girls got one indistinguish. I got to be honest with it.
Andrew Schulz
Right.
Giannis Papas
I thought about that. Like, what do you tell your kids when they go, I want to be this when you grow up and you go, that job might not exist. Well, what I think, I never considered.
Chris Distefano
That you look for a job that's way down the line. Like I'm telling my daughters already. I got a three year old tennant. I'm saying plumbers be plumbers because air is not able to do plumbing. Plumbers not coming into your house for, you know, AI version of a robot plumber is not coming in your house for another 10 years. I mean another 100 years. I would say plumbers are coming through. So I think they should do trade skills. I would have my kids go to a trade school over an Ivy League school. All you say long.
Andrew Schulz
You think they're not going to have like systems?
Chris Distefano
No, no, I'm saying in the sewer systems or like, you know, maybe they have some type of AI technology that can snake your toilet. But that guy didn't have to come in. I'm telling you, dude, I'm telling my daughters to be plumbers or some type of training.
Andrew Schulz
There's not going to be nano robots that you can just dump in there and they take you.
Chris Distefano
Not letting them into your house.
Mark Gagnon
There's going to be discrimination against fucking robots.
Chris Distefano
Oh yeah, that's what's going on. I'm actually excited about AI because this is going to, this is going to get rid of our division. We're all going to come together versus them. White, black, Spanish, trans, Chinese, it don't matter. We're going to be up. And that's why I think it's good for all businesses. Not now. We got to get through this storm. But then eventually there's going to be a major need for. I want the human version of that. I want the human feet. I want the human script.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
I want the, you know, plumber. Yeah.
Giannis Papas
Do you feel that way with teeth now? Like you see an actor with real teeth, like they don't have veneers. It is kind of nice.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Right.
Giannis Papas
Oh, I believe this character is a working class guy.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
And then when you see one of these actors that has like these perfect veneers, you're like, I don't think you're working at the shop.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
And I wonder if like authenticity comes back in a major way, however we can find it.
Mark Gagnon
I think so.
Giannis Papas
You know, like seeing things that are a little bit broken.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
Like the music that's going to come out is going to be this perfect version of everything thing. Like, well, what if, you know, the, you know, early recordings of like hip hop, like in the 90s, where you could kind of like hear the reverberation, the speakers, like, I wonder if that is in the same way vintage clothing is kind of cool to this generation because they're like, oh, this was this real moment. I wonder if that manifests in all art.
Mark Gagnon
I think you're. I think it will. I agree with you. I think that's what. Because it's already the unique experience. Like.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
Seeing people on screens is like nothing.
Giannis Papas
Yeah, yeah.
Mark Gagnon
Now going to see someone live is like being what being on TV used to be.
Giannis Papas
Oh, that's interesting. So, so the live experience is not replicatable by AI. So we want to go do things, but live is so expensive now that people are kind of like hesitant.
Mark Gagnon
Lower your prices.
Giannis Papas
I'm not on the road.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, yeah.
Chris Distefano
Smart to not be on the road right now.
Giannis Papas
Why is the road rough right now?
Chris Distefano
Yeah, it's not great.
Giannis Papas
So I, I wonder. I had a theory about this with comedy, actually. I think that like the, the. I think the bubble has subsided a little bit.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
Well, you can tell that by our ticket sales.
Chris Distefano
Go check out.
Mark Gagnon
Go see property owner.
Giannis Papas
No, but I think, I think there's a version of it. Like, I remember Shane and I were doing a show in Canada and it was an outdoor show and there was fucking like 40,000 people. People were sitting on a bridge watching the show from the bridge. Right. And I was like, yeah, this is the end of it. Like, this is, it should never be this big and it has to kind of come down. It doesn't mean it comes all the Way down. But I think that, like, after Covid, everybody wanted to be outside. They wanted to laugh. Comedy dominated the culture. The most influential person in the world loves comedy. And because of the. That there's, like, you know, interest in the people that he influences. Obviously, Rogan and I think everybody got those experiences, and I think for a little bit now, they're just like, all right, we're cool. We. We saw. We saw four or five shows.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
And then I don't think it goes away entirely, but I think there is a little bit of a reset.
Chris Distefano
100%.
Andrew Schulz
It's going to be a purge.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. You think?
Giannis Papas
Oh, you think it's purge?
Mark Gagnon
There's just.
Andrew Schulz
What it's going to. There's going to be some, what, cutting the fat or whatever.
Giannis Papas
Yeah, I just think certain comics are going to.
Chris Distefano
Whatever.
Andrew Schulz
Certain comics are going to sustain, and you're just going to see things kind of.
Giannis Papas
That's why I think the comedy clubs, like. Like, I know there's a lot of people that, like, they can't wait to get out of comedy clubs. Comedy clubs.
Mark Gagnon
I love comedy.
Chris Distefano
I can't wait to go back to them.
Giannis Papas
No comedy clubs, because that's what thrives during this time. It's like going to. Going to do a show. Like, don't get me wrong, the arenas are awesome. It's amazing. Etc.
Mark Gagnon
But tell me about it.
Giannis Papas
I don't. I love them. They're incredible. No, no. But, like, I don't think anybody gets tired of seeing their favorite comic with 200 people in a room.
Chris Distefano
No.
Giannis Papas
300 people in a room.
Chris Distefano
It's like the audience. One thing I realized, too, the audience doesn't really care about the difference. Like, if you want to go do a theater or an arena, it's amazing. Obviously, make money, big people. But then you run the risk of, like, someone sitting in section 10,000. That was like, oh, I didn't even really think it was that funny. And it's not the performance. Like, you were distracted. You're responsible.
Giannis Papas
You got to make the show for them. Like, that was. That was the thing. It's like when we did. When we were doing these big venues, it was like, very intentional. How do you make the show so those people up there can experience it as cool close to those people down there? And I think a lot of people just go, oh, I do comedy shows and comedy clubs now. I'm in a theater of 5,000 people. I'll just do the same thing. It's like, well, people aren't going to come back if that's what you do. It has to change. When you do 50 people in a little, like one off room in the city, it's going to be different than when you do 500 people. Like, do you remember going to your first, like, funny bone where it was like 500 people?
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
And do you remember, like, your jokes feeling thin?
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
Like, you're like, whoa, this is a little bit different. Like when there was 200 people packed in the cellar. I'm ripping, and all of a sudden it feels a little bit distant. Right. So there has to be that adjustment. I think it just exploded. And I'm curious what happens the next five years.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, well, it's definitely gonna recede for sure. Because you're right. It's gotten to the peak.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. So what Steve Martin said in his book when he went to the stadium and he was like, this is what I knew I had to. This was not comedy sustainable. Yeah, It's. This is crazy. Yeah.
Giannis Papas
Yeah. It was like, it became like, it became a part of people's identity to, like, like comedy. Want to see comedy less than it was. I just like that person. I want to be there.
Mark Gagnon
You know what I mean? I know exactly what you mean.
Giannis Papas
It was. It's almost like, like football in Europe. Like, I just. I gotta go see Man U. Because that's my team and I gotta do it. Like, comedy was people's team in a lot of ways.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
And I think, like, now it goes, if I really like that person, I need to go see them.
Chris Distefano
And the problem is to mention the economy. It's like, you might have. They might really want to go see you. But for other comics who are on similar exact strategies, similar, you know, universes and podcasts.
Giannis Papas
$300 a day.
Chris Distefano
I just don' have the money. I really would love to see you. I just don't have. And if maybe that year you don't get picked because they just saw you 18 months ago.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
So you come back in the other one. But I think the comedy clubs, too. It's also, I personally, like, just, you know, we've been doing comedy 15 years. 20, 20, 50. Like, we've been doing it a long time.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Now it's like I realized, like, I. I wanted. I'd rather do the packed comedy club or, you know, small theater, because then I feel like a comic. I know there's more money getting bigger like that, but I've also said to myself, well, also time is money, and I got kids now, so it's like, do I want to go on A world tour. If I was going to do it, I would do it once. And I would try to bring my family as much as possible because I love the art of standup. I will do standup all day till I die. Hopefully soon. And I. But I hate the road. I do not care about performing in any other city. I couldn't care less how the room is, how the vibe is. I like being in New York. I like being home with my family. If my family's with me, I'll go anywhere. If they're not with me, I would truly love to just do it here as much as I can, because I don't. I never considered the road I started comedy for. I had a family. Once you have a family, you're like, things change. Yeah, what, like I got to miss my kids recital? Yeah, I know I'm making money and it's for them, but it's like, is it for them? My parents didn't leave me any money.
Giannis Papas
Move to Vegas, my boy.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, well, I mean, that's.
Giannis Papas
That's what happens.
Chris Distefano
Well, my. My girl can't leave state lines.
Andrew Schulz
That'll change when you marry her in nine.
Chris Distefano
Yeah. I'm gonna keep finding ways to push it back.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Buying time, baby.
Giannis Papas
You serious?
Andrew Schulz
You're back in clubs? Cause I put off theaters for like a year and a half. I think I'm finally going 20, 26. But I put it off.
Chris Distefano
I put the theaters now where I can really do the theaters, where I can. Where if it's like, I can easily sell it out or you're adding shows at the theater, like New York, Boston, Chicago theater, I'll do. Because those. I can do it there. But the other places, why do the.
Giannis Papas
Theaters where you can add shows?
Chris Distefano
That's what I'm saying.
Giannis Papas
That's what I'll tell you. Like, a lot of guys where. It's like a lot of people are so excited to do a theater, they don't realize you make less money in the theater.
Chris Distefano
Yes.
Giannis Papas
So they're just excited to do it so that they're saying that you're doing a theater. And that is like a cool accolade as a comedo. I remember coming up like, oh, one day I'm going to be able to perform in a theater. Right. But if you don't mind doing the thing. If you don't mind doing a few shows, then wait until you're doing multiple theaters. For me, arenas are sick. I'm not going to lie. I don't want to seem like I'm. I'm bagging like, it's unbelievable. It was like, well, the way you.
Mark Gagnon
Do it, it's like fucking John Cena's coming out Explosion. Yeah. I would just come out there, but, hey, guys. And they'd be like, well, that's what you can't.
Giannis Papas
Because then they. Then I feel like they get upset at that.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. So I should come out in, like, a toga.
Giannis Papas
No, just put, like, spend the money. Like, it costs tens of thousands of dollars to put those fucking screens up. But that's the difference between somebody way back there who, like, spent all the money they saved up for a month to go to the show, enjoying it, and not. And if I was them, and I saved up money for a month to go see the show, and then I couldn't even really see the act, I'd be fucking pissed off, too. So the idea, at least for us, is like, how do we make sure that everybody, every single one, comes back? And so far, you know, knock on wood, that's been, you know, the case.
Chris Distefano
So, yeah, arenas. And if you could do them, I mean, it's just, obviously, it's a big show. Financially. You just make so much money. But for me, when I'm on the road, I just look at the money I make on the road as freedom, coupons to be back with my family. So if I'm gonna go do a theater and make way less money, I'm always gonna pick the club because I'm like, this. This means then I don't have to go on the road for the next two weekends. That's really all I care about. Like, the moment you gave me an opportunity to make a full living not leaving New York City, I would take it immediately.
Giannis Papas
That's called podcasting.
Chris Distefano
Well, I feel like I have it already. I feel like I could do that already, but it's just. You convince yourself to stay on the treadmill. So that's why I like to just say publicly a lot, because then I like when my girl hears it and tells us, were you doing that already with your podcast? You can just do that already. So why are you going on the road? I'm like, you know, because I'm an idiot.
Giannis Papas
The point of it, I don't know, the point of the podcast, I think, is, like, it gives you the freedom to do something, stand up how you want to do it.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, but I want to do it how I want to do it in New York.
Giannis Papas
Yeah, and if you can do it that way, I guess to me, like, the freedom of making money and, like, providing Yourself on the pod means that like you don't have to go do standup when you don't want to. And doing standup as like a job, meaning like you have to go to this place you don't want to do. Seems to me like, I don't know, it's, we did it, you know, for 10 years of our lives growing up. But it's. I don't want to perform for people when I don't want to. I want to be excited. Like I can't wait to get back in that market and I got new stuff for them and I'm excited.
Chris Distefano
We were actually talking about this on the way over here where like, you know, you're walking. We walked like what, 20, 30 city blocks. Got our steps in, we got our steps in. And it's like, you know the love that you feel from the people in New York walking around. Oh, hyenas, you guys are back. What's up? And then even the financial aspect of it, like, I mean the creative aspect of it, number one, like how free we are. Say whatever we want, do whatever want, make the jokes you want. Then the financial aspect of it, we're like, oh, you have to consciously tell yourself like you have it already. Like there's not more out there to get. It's like you convince yourself, I need this. Once I get this, this will happen. It's like, no, you have it or we have it already.
Giannis Papas
Do you feel sometimes that like you don't have it? Is that what you're.
Chris Distefano
No. Well, I think sometimes I feel that it's because of my kids. I feel, oh, I gotta go out pressure and do so much more for them. I gotta leave them with something. But then I realized I was left with nothing. My mom and dad don't have any money and I'm fine. I'll fit you the tools that I'll give them to be able to self start anything in their life and go after things is what they need. They already have in their accounts more money than I've would because I inherited $0. So they, the money that they already have a better start than me. So it's like, what is that? Where. What's the treadmill here for? You've. I've been doing it for 15 years. So it's like just at some point be like would you ever take some.
Giannis Papas
Time off and just like kind of.
Chris Distefano
I, I like I said, I love the art of comedy. I want to take time off the road.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
At the end of December, I'm, I'm All I will. I have these shows booked in December. I have. So I have. There's no plan to add anything in 2020.
Andrew Schulz
This is the first time I've. So I didn't get to start headlining. I'm way behind y' all. Like, 2021, I think I finally was out on the road, so I didn't take a break even after my I.
Chris Distefano
Month off to get canceled.
Andrew Schulz
I had to wait for Aziz to.
Chris Distefano
Get his dick spot open.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
To send Anthrax. And then.
Giannis Papas
Yeah. And then I had to wait for.
Chris Distefano
There was a nice Indian spot on Kumail to start I.
Giannis Papas
That whole thing.
Chris Distefano
He was on the side like that.
Andrew Schulz
Wait, I actually sent a fake Anthrax.
Giannis Papas
Go, Go. You're saying. But.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah, so. But this is the first this summer. I'm. I'm doing, like, one. One show next week, then nothing in July, then maybe one show in August. Two shows. And I'm like, oh, this is nice. But for four years straight, I was like, man, I gotta catch up to everybody else in terms of just not money, but just reps. Yeah. Because I feel like you grow so much on the road, especially early.
Chris Distefano
Well, you're in a race with yourself. That's what I think you figured out. It's like, you're not. You're not ever in a race with anybody else.
Andrew Schulz
I used to look at guys who were headlining and be. Oh, like, when I was just doing club spots and be like, dude, I don't know if I could ever get that funny. And then when I started headline headlining, I was like, oh, it's not that I can't get that funny. I didn't have the reps. And then when I started to feel that growth, I was like, no.
Chris Distefano
Well, it's not even.
Andrew Schulz
Stay on it.
Chris Distefano
You're a different bag of chemicals in that person. You have different circumstances, different things.
Andrew Schulz
Absolutely. But the idea that that level of funny was unattainable. Unattainable was like. I was like, oh, that's. That's not it. I just needed the reps. And now. Then when I started getting them, I was like, I want no 10,000 hours.
Giannis Papas
Now you're cooking. Like, that's another thing. I think, like, once you catch, like, once that heat. Heat happens. You know, you're just selling out everywhere right now. So it's very hard to stop doing that when you've been working so many years. Like, this is what I worked for. I remember when you first caught heat, and it was like, I remember you were doing those shows at Times Square Art Center. And it was just. This is like, I'm. This is way throwback. So any people in New York that really remember 2011 era, 2011, yeah, that was one of the biggest inspirations for me, to be honest. I was like, oh, you can do something on the Internet.
Chris Distefano
People.
Giannis Papas
People will appreciate it, and they'll pour into the shows and everything that you're doing. Because before that, the only salvation was tv. Yeah, you pretty much right. But I remember telling you, I was like, dude, this is amazing. I remember I would call you when I heard someone on the street doing it, and I'd be like, yes, this is insane. Like, I just saw this thing happening. I was like, oh, there's. There. It is possible to do this a different way.
Mark Gagnon
You know, now it's the only way.
Giannis Papas
The only way.
Chris Distefano
The only way.
Giannis Papas
And it's like, so anyway, when you catch that heat, I do think it's important to, like, put your foot on the gas. Like, I do, like, run after it. Run after. I run after it. But after you get, you know, a nice little Runway where you've been succeeding, I also think it's important to, like, pull back and relax. That's just me personally. Like, I know there's guys that are on the road relentlessly. I don't like doing that because I feel like the jokes, they become like versions of the same shit that I've been telling.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
And if I take a step back and I wait for a few months and I don't even touch the stage and I start getting really excited to go back on, all of a sudden, it's a different perspective. And then the audience, when they see the jokes, they're like, oh, I didn't see this side of you. It's like, I didn't know that there.
Mark Gagnon
Was that side of me.
Giannis Papas
I had to be a human being.
Mark Gagnon
For a little bit.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
You start to treat it like a band on tour, take a little time off.
Giannis Papas
Yeah, yeah.
Mark Gagnon
And then people get excited about this.
Giannis Papas
Different than something you've ever done.
Mark Gagnon
They get excited for it. They don't see.
Chris Distefano
All the Beastie Boys used to do that. They would. They would put out a smash album and then tour, and then they go away for three years because they are in their minds. Three years at. Right at the cusp of about three years, they were like, people are starting to be like, what about Beastie Boys? And then, boom, they're back.
Giannis Papas
And then. Yeah. I think even. I don't know how long the Beatles or whatever would take time off, but, like, at least the albums feel a little different.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
You know, say what you. Whatever you want about the be, but.
Mark Gagnon
Like, @ least the music feels amazing.
Giannis Papas
Okay.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
So it's like the music feels a little different, and then your. Your. Your fans, when they come out, they're having this new experience that they haven't had before, and hopefully it's good and they like it. But now every time they come back, they're like, oh, this is going to be different. This is going to be new.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
And, yeah, I think that's how you.
Mark Gagnon
Got to remember it's an art. That's the thing. It's so. Because it's a business, you. You got to remember that it's an art because.
Giannis Papas
And you got a lot of people pushing you different ways. You got, you know, shout out to agents and everybody. I understand that That's. That's how they make money and all that kind of stuff, but it's hard to. Not. Not even that. It's. But it is hard when they come with offers for certain things and you have a family and you got a mortgage, you're like, oh, we got to do that. So it's hard to. To push that off. But I do think for the art.
Mark Gagnon
You have to remember it's an art, or you keep chasing the money, Then you're gonna. You're gonna end up hurting yourself.
Chris Distefano
The money always comes second.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
That's the way to look at it.
Mark Gagnon
You're gonna end up hurting yourself. Happy Juneteenth, by the way. Yeah, that's why we decided that he was gonna be on.
Chris Distefano
That's why we were late.
Mark Gagnon
Four guys. Let's get four white guys in.
Giannis Papas
An Indian for June.
Mark Gagnon
This is the respect. This is the lack of respect.
Chris Distefano
Three days.
Mark Gagnon
They get a whole month.
Giannis Papas
Juneteenth.
Mark Gagnon
It's in a couple days. Of course, you don't know. I'm early. Yeah, we should have been late to celebrate Juneteenth.
Chris Distefano
Yeah. And that's not a black joke. That's a Juneteenth joke. Specifically because that holiday.
Mark Gagnon
Absolutely.
Chris Distefano
Disguised face.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. You know, it's like Juneteenth. They plop it right in the.
Chris Distefano
You, dude.
Mark Gagnon
Private.
Chris Distefano
You're a good person. A whole month.
Andrew Schulz
He doesn't believe anything.
Chris Distefano
No, I do. I really do. Like, you look like a woman in Portland.
Mark Gagnon
You do look like a kid who will sniff a woman's seat after she leaves the road.
Chris Distefano
You look like a guy that has no Kings tattooed around your belly button.
Andrew Schulz
Wait, I actually don't even know what the no Kings protest is.
Chris Distefano
Saying that Donnie T. Don't act like a king, wants to be a king and 776 and they're protesting against.
Unknown
And Walmart paid for it.
Giannis Papas
Yeah. What would be the argument about the organization of these protests? Because it seems like awfully organized.
Unknown
Well, it was just the money came from a big chunk of the money came from one of the heirs of the Walmart.
Giannis Papas
Kathy Hilton.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah, but that makes Ben.
Mark Gagnon
Right.
Andrew Schulz
And she got money. So why.
Giannis Papas
But the argument would then be like the person who benefits the most from not having tariffs.
Chris Distefano
Right.
Giannis Papas
And illegal labor is the person that is supporting this no Kings protest.
Unknown
But then other people are saying that she's separate from the family and that the company itself has disavowed her political affiliation, yada yada.
Giannis Papas
But as long as everybody's being, you know, you know, law abiding, I love it. I think it's cool. Go protest. The thing that's so dumb is when you see like when everybody has like a Mexican flag or they have a, like a Hamas flag or some. It's like you guys are subverting your own protests. You're just giving ammunition to your opposition. Like why would you do it? This is what the FBI used to do. The FBI used to put in fake people. What is it? Cointelpros Then what it's called. They used to put in fake people so that. To cause violence and up. So that they could subvert the protest. And now people do it on their own.
Mark Gagnon
Right, right.
Giannis Papas
You're doing the FBI's work for it.
Mark Gagnon
Right, right, right. Like good point. Yeah.
Giannis Papas
So you would think somebody was saying it to us. I forgot who it was. Maybe it was Jank, you know, Jenk. Yeah, the young turds. So he was saying something like back in the day, like during the Martin Luther King protest, like if there was somebody that was acting out or doing something violent, they would like circle that person and then hand them over to the police because they're like, you are going to subvert this very important messaging. And right now it feels like there is, it's not exactly happening. It's going to be very easy to shut down.
Andrew Schulz
And when you say subvert, you mean make moderate people be like, oh, they're, they're bad?
Mark Gagnon
Exactly.
Giannis Papas
Like, oh, this is what it stands for. When in reality I'm sure the majority of people that are out during these protests are not being violent. They're not doing anything.
Unknown
The difference with this in 1964 is that they had a message. They had a whole thing like we wanted, we want to Change the segregation on the bus lines of Birmingham. Whereas, like, with this, I don't know what the goal is.
Mark Gagnon
Right. They're just, it's just they're throwing a temper tantrum against Trump.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
They don't have like an objective.
Giannis Papas
Well, some people say the objective is like, have a little more empathy for the people who are here illegally. They have families.
Andrew Schulz
It's just harder to make it like a systematic, systematic thing when there's no actual law. Like, segregation was a law. I can go, yes.
Mark Gagnon
Right.
Andrew Schulz
That's not quite here. It's a little blurry.
Giannis Papas
So it comes across, I'm sure anybody who's against it as, oh, they're fighting for more illegal immigration.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
Which probably not. They're probably like, yeah, these people been working here for like 10, 20 years. They got a family and you're sending the dad back to Mexico. Like, that's a little fucked up.
Chris Distefano
But then people.
Giannis Papas
It is, but then Donnie flipped on it.
Chris Distefano
Donnie flipped on it. But people will say then and when, I mean people. I mean, my group chat will say that Obama got rid of more illegal immigrants than Trump. They just didn't publicize it. The media wants this. So. The media.
Giannis Papas
Whose fault is that?
Chris Distefano
But he's saying the media is cherry picking again and making this a bigger.
Giannis Papas
Or, or you could say that the administration ran on it, so they gave them the opportunity to publicize it.
Chris Distefano
Maybe.
Giannis Papas
Naturally, of course, anything Trump does, they're going to be people who are like, this is the worst thing ever and let's organize against it. Of course. But if you run on it specifically and you go, we're going to do this, and Tom Holman is on every single news outlet like, we're coming for you. It's very easy to push back against it when, like, Obama and Biden did it behind closed doors and didn't really look anyway and sent way more back and probably tore apart way more families and did way more up, actually. But they don't shine a light on it.
Mark Gagnon
So.
Giannis Papas
And they have maybe protection in the media, so it's harder to organize again.
Chris Distefano
But also, Obama wasn't making promo videos of guys with chains sending them to.
Mark Gagnon
So he's kind of.
Giannis Papas
That's what I'm saying.
Unknown
Also should be grateful that Trump is so brazen.
Giannis Papas
Wait, wait, say it again.
Unknown
That's what I'm like. They should be grateful that Trump is so out there because then it like brings attention to it. You know what I mean? If everyone else is doing it so covertly, then they're actually deporting more Trump.
Chris Distefano
Is good for the liberals.
Unknown
Exactly.
Giannis Papas
Yes. He's making it easier.
Chris Distefano
He's making America great again. Also, he's bringing the liberals in there. He's helping everyone. He's in office, and then he's helping Democrats.
Giannis Papas
But it is interesting. Like, I think, and I think this is something maybe Democrats do know, maybe they don't know. But, like, he really responds to public sentiment, like, almost immediately. Like, if he feels his base doesn't like some shit, he backs off of it immediately. So maybe the way to get him to do the things you want is just to convince his base that they're not interested in it instead of just going, bad guy Hitler. He's bad. Like, that doesn't work. He don't care. Like, he's not the type of person, if you tell him to do something will work, but if his base turns, he's switching it.
Chris Distefano
Right.
Giannis Papas
Remember, like. Remember he was like, yeah, we're gonna turn Gaza into Mar a Lago or whatever. And his base was like, the fuck we are. He's like, I was joking about that shit. He'll turn.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
So, like, why isn't that the strategy?
Mark Gagnon
Well, how would you implement that strategy?
Giannis Papas
I think he did it with the. The no Kings protest. Like, they said, hey, we don't want this. And immediately he's like, you know what? We're actually not gonna send people back who are farming. We need our farmers, and we're not gonna send our hotel workers. We need these people. They're servicing the community. So there is of lot a. A version of it where it works.
Mark Gagnon
Right.
Giannis Papas
So just make sure that his base understands it. That's why I'm curious about the Israel, Iran stuff, is because his base does not want intervention.
Mark Gagnon
I think he also realized that you actually do need those people and you can't send them back because Americans don't want those jobs. The far. Yeah, the farmers just don't function without illegal labor a lot. Some things just don't function without a legal layer. I mean, there was Alabama where they. They did it, and then they actually. They enacted state law. You heard about that?
Giannis Papas
No, tell me.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, this is a. This is like a case study for it. So a state law where they got rid of all of the illegal migrants and, like, the economy just plummeted. And so they reversed it because the farmers were like, yo, we can't. Nobody wants to do this. Nobody can do it.
Giannis Papas
And then he'll respond to the economy. Right? So the economy in Alabama. Shit. And you have all these senators and Congressmen going, yo, this, we can't sustain this. We need to do something. He'll move on that. So I think the way is to just show the public sentiment. The reason I kept asking you about AI is because like the next election is probably JD versus who knows, AOC or Buddha Judge or something like that.
Chris Distefano
But like he likes it in the Buddha judge.
Giannis Papas
So like, so like this is the AI presidency, right? Like, right. And like JD's from this part of Ohio, like Appalachia, right, which is like was ravaged by outsourcing and technological advancement. Like it destroyed. I think there's this rule called like the Appalachia Student grant where if you have a 3.3.0 GPA, you get into any school in Ohio for free. So they treat them like Native Americans.
Andrew Schulz
The white Louisiana has a similar thing. Okay, just idiots.
Giannis Papas
So he's this guy, right? And it's like, how is he going to grapple with this idea that AI is going to do to the country? Most likely, what happened to the place that he is from?
Mark Gagnon
Right?
Andrew Schulz
And you're funded by tech and, and.
Giannis Papas
Big Tech wants it more than anything and they've been investing in him for two decades. So how is he going to handle. And I do think he has empathy for these things. Like obviously he grew up in that community and I think that like say whatever, you know, the Internet will say all these different things. But I think that he has empathy for people and I think that's why he's a good communicator. But like that is a big thing to fucking grapple with. Are you going to be supportive of this transition when it could ravage the country in the same way that the community you came from has been ravaged? And how are you going to handle that?
Mark Gagnon
Right? Like that's, that's murky.
Chris Distefano
What do you do?
Giannis Papas
Do you say to the tech guys, do you say, hey, fuck you, this is going to kill the country? Do you invest in like transition the workforce to.
Mark Gagnon
I think you just gracefully lose an election.
Giannis Papas
I don't want that responsibility. I don't want that to be on.
Mark Gagnon
You run and you try, but I think it's going to swing back left after this. Really, I really do. Because Trump is not really delivering on, on the promises.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
I mean the wars are still going on. His big beautiful bill, raising the debt by trades and debt. He's spending. He did a million parade. That was a fucking joke for 40 something million he's spending and you know, we have a spending problem and that's what he ran on we're going to cut all this stuff.
Giannis Papas
And it' it seems like he backed off a doge.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, he's just making his deals, man. He went to Vietnam, his son opened the golf course while they were having a tariff war with Vietnam. And like, now we got a billion dollar guard. The kid's getting rich. He's got his meme coin. He's being dotty.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
He's making money and already there's just too much chaos and shit going on.
Giannis Papas
It's like this was the same thing that happened the last time he ran for a second term, where it was, people go, it's too hot right now. The temperature's too hot. I don't like it. Let's calm down. And then they put Biden and nobody really was supportive of Biden him back then, but they wanted to not be this temperature.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, dude. Donald Trump has not won an election.
Giannis Papas
Okay, wait, wait. What do you mean?
Chris Distefano
The Democrats are. Bensonhurst.
Mark Gagnon
The Democrats have lost two elections.
Giannis Papas
Oh, yeah. I don't know if that's fair.
Mark Gagnon
Come on.
Andrew Schulz
I think that's very.
Chris Distefano
I don't think.
Mark Gagnon
Come on. They ran a candidate who is currently being investigated by the FBI.
Andrew Schulz
The Democrats.
Mark Gagnon
So unlikable. She kills everybody.
Andrew Schulz
Hillary.
Mark Gagnon
Hillary.
Giannis Papas
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Mark Gagnon
And then. And then you don't even have a primary.
Andrew Schulz
Secondary. You.
Mark Gagnon
She was the first one ousted in the, in the primary. No, she was.
Giannis Papas
I agree with that sentiment. I guess what I would say is like, he had to win the primary against the Republicans and he did that against all odds. So I wouldn't take credit. Nobody wanted him on the Republican side. He took over the party simply. But in terms of general election, I get what you're saying.
Mark Gagnon
General election.
Giannis Papas
Yeah, dude, I mean, I hear what you're saying.
Mark Gagnon
The Democrats have just been going, this is what our thing is going to do. We're going to tell. We're going to. We're going to support. Support this culture that's saying on top of all these white people who are struggling, their jobs are gone. It's also bad that you're white. That's gonna be our strategy. And then on top of that, we're gonna bypass black people and go, the gay people are the most discriminated against group and we're just gonna focus on all these policies to protect them.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
It just wasn't a good idea. It's just as simple as that.
Giannis Papas
Do you think that they're able to transition? Can they look themselves in the mirror and take accountability for the messaging?
Mark Gagnon
I will vote for it. Just Come on, look at her tits. I wanna look at her. I wanna look years have.
Chris Distefano
Absolutely.
Mark Gagnon
She's a smoke show. She's four room a slurper poop.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, yeah. She's. She's a hottie with a body.
Mark Gagnon
And it's just time for a strong Israel.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, 100, dude. Yeah, 100. If I was. If I was there January 6th, which I was not, I would run right into the office and sniff her seat.
Mark Gagnon
Her seat. And he would. He would get there first, but we'd get there second and third.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, that's just. What. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He would definitely Facebook.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. There's four parties now, dude. There's four parties. You got Maggie, you got the old school Republicans, you got the Democrats.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
And I think we went extreme, right? And I think the progressives are going to come in. I think this is, you know, we'll. We'll become a little bit more Europe. Like, we'll get. We'll get universal health care. We'll. We'll get some of the things. The military budget will be cut. Things will. Things.
Giannis Papas
I think progressives can win if they don't make it about identity politics.
Mark Gagnon
If they stay away from identity politics.
Giannis Papas
Bernie was on the pod here and there's a moment where he just goes, yeah, there's a lot of people. And they're like, oh, I'm gay, I'm the best. I'm black, I'm amazing. He goes, who gives a fuck? Like, what do you stand for? And I was the first time I saw somebody on the left in politics kind of acknowledge what everybody feels, which is, hey, why are we making that the zenith? Why is that?
Chris Distefano
You're going to have a thing. It should be like rich wealth, rich versus poor. That. That's what that's going to win.
Giannis Papas
Benzeners.
Chris Distefano
That rich versus poor will win. Benson.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. And yeah, because, yeah, Kanye broke that.
Chris Distefano
We don't.
Mark Gagnon
People should see that. Just being black or, you know, it's like he's a Nazi. So it's like, what's the more relevant thing? Him being black or him being. Don't get me wrong, it is impressive. He's the Jackie Robinson of Nazis, dude. In some weird way, that was Martin Luther King's dream, that type of equality.
Giannis Papas
I mean, that's a premise you have to respect. That's great.
Mark Gagnon
I mean that. And that shows that we are certainly free. When a black boy could grow up in Chicago to become the most famous racist on the planet.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
We are now equal.
Chris Distefano
You thought the 1940s Nazis uniforms were nice. Wait until Kanye Fashionista. Yeah, that's interesting.
Mark Gagnon
Absolutely. Maybe he broke that.
Giannis Papas
He did break it.
Mark Gagnon
Maybe break that mold. Being like, oh, what you look like isn't the most important thing. It's what you see.
Giannis Papas
And you could see even like the. But you can even see like, progressives moving away from that idea simply. Like, I would see like, write ups about our pod. Like, we're the only pod with any diversity. Right. Real realistically. We are. Right.
Mark Gagnon
And I just see three.
Giannis Papas
Well, yeah, we have some black guys sometimes.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. And he's sitting in the side on Juneteenth.
Chris Distefano
But I wish I could see this kid's face. I can tell you what he is. We're honoring him.
Unknown
He's on a pedestal, you know?
Chris Distefano
No, no, I meant the disguise face. That wasn't. You thought it was a black joke. I was making a disguise face.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, right.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
He's got it. He's got to. Yeah.
Giannis Papas
But anyway, in terms of, like, how we're. While we were positioned for a while, like, none of that mattered, and all of a sudden diversity didn't matter. It was just like, ideas.
Andrew Schulz
What do you think? Yeah.
Giannis Papas
Yeah, it's interesting. All right, guys, let's take a break for a second. I need to tell you guys about Black Rifle Coffee. I need to be very serious. You know, I've been quite cartoonish in some of my past ad reads, but right now I'm going to be. I'm going to be 100% serious with you about the importance of this brand. Okay? World War three is upon us. We have to make a choice. We have to, you know, draw a line in the sand. What type of coffee are we going to use to colonize the world?
Chris Distefano
Yes.
Giannis Papas
Okay. Are we going to use some coffee that we can't even trust? Some beans from some place that we don't even know? Or are we going to trust American veterans that are coffee obsessed to get the best caffeine into our soldiers so they can turn the world into rubble? Black Rifle Coffee. Coffee is making sure that they do that, okay? Real patriots, real guys that believe in freedom, where they source the beans as their freedom? No, but that doesn't matter, okay? We get better prices that way. What we have to do right now is shout out our veterans. The veteran backed. The veteran created. The veteran supported. The veteran founded Black Rifle Coffee. Okay? Every single Black Rifle coffee and energy drink, they also have these delicious energy drinks. Every one of them comes with a case of bullets.
Unknown
Is that true?
Giannis Papas
There's a case of bullets that comes with every single one.
Andrew Schulz
The gift basket of bullets.
Giannis Papas
It's a gift basket of bullets. You buy this, there are going to be bullets. Who knows when they come to you?
Mark Gagnon
I think that's true.
Giannis Papas
It's not. Well, I think it's something they should look into, because there's nothing that is more exciting than just chugging how many ounces? There's 16 grams of caffeine fluid ounces and 200 milligrams of caffeine. And then, you know, shining up your bullets. You gotta shine up your bullets, you know, and then probably just leave them there shiny.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Unknown
You don't need a whole weapon.
Giannis Papas
You don't need it.
Unknown
Just having bullets is enough.
Giannis Papas
Having bullets is enough. If you line up some bullets on your windowsill, do you think someone's breaking into your house?
Andrew Schulz
Absolutely not.
Giannis Papas
Nobody's gonna break in. 100. So if you believe in America, you believe in. What's that law that makes sure people.
Andrew Schulz
Can'T come on your doctrine.
Giannis Papas
If you believe in castle doctrine.
Chris Distefano
I know that a little too fast.
Andrew Schulz
Second one. He made it weird.
Mark Gagnon
He made it weird. Florida dog.
Giannis Papas
Come on. So everybody's making it weirder. If you want to protect your castle, okay, you can't do it groggy. You can't do it sleepy, and you can't do it tired. You need 200 grams of delicious milligrams.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah. Yeah.
Giannis Papas
They might up it. If it's World War iii, we might up it. But for right now, it's milligrams. But who knows what's going to happen in the future? Black rifle coffee has got your back. Okay? And look, this one right here has a.
Chris Distefano
A.
Giannis Papas
What are those animals? It's like a monkey. It has a yeti on it.
Unknown
Or sasquatch, maybe.
Giannis Papas
Exactly. So you chug this, you'll see a yeti, and you can shoot. That's a black rifle coffee Promise. And right now, blackrifflecoffee.com flagrant. If you use the code FLAG, you're getting 30% off your purchase of your first order. And that is blackrifflecoffee.com flagrant use go flagrant. You can also find black rifle coffee and energy drinks and gear in your grocery store and convenience stores near you. Okay, I am not 100% sure about the bullets. If they do arrive, obviously, I will take full credit. And then I would suggest that all you do is shine them and you do not put them any sort of weapon unless your castle is being indoctrinated. And then you can use the castle doctrine to do whatever it is that you want to do. God bless America. Let's get back to the show. All right, guys, let's take a break for a second. You already see the lights. You know what time it is. Hard dick season. Hard dick season is upon us. Guys, we're coming up. We're coming up on July. It's officially summer. I know New York has been a little wet, it's been a little cold, but I think July and August is going to be absolutely outstanding. How is it going to be outstanding for you? Because you're going to be rocked up, you're going to have the bricky in your pants, and you're going to be ready to go. Blue chew, same active. Green is inside. Viagra Cialis. But this is the Chew. This the one that we. We rock with. Okay? The one that you keep your girl happy happy with. All right, you're gonna get your first month free. All you gotta do is pay $5 shipping. That's one month of hard dick for free and only $5 worth of shipping. When you go to bluechew.com, use the promo code flagrant. You are welcome. Now let's get back to the show.
Chris Distefano
People just want to fight. I mean, you know, at the end of the day, our base thing as human being, I mean, we've talked about this, where there was how many different versions of. There was like Homo sapien. Homo. There was a bunch of different Homos. Types of people. And then we as the Homo sapiens, we won this thing.
Giannis Papas
How'd we win?
Chris Distefano
Because we were the most ruthless and the most. We were the ones built. Our humanoid was the ones built. Designed for war. The savage.
Giannis Papas
Why was that? Like what happened to Neanderthals? What happened to the other?
Chris Distefano
Just more savage than them. Homo sapiens from any part of the world. So I think our baseline state of being is war. And then when you can't. Aren't physically fighting in a war, you'll find it another way. I'll find a problem with a podcast that is very diverse. I'll find a problem with that negativity box. I'll find a problem with religion. And I'll find a problem at home because that's our baseline is. That's who we are. That's why you're here.
Mark Gagnon
We have to overcome the negativity bias, which is, you know, in us, from evolution. It's just horrible.
Giannis Papas
And that's religion, right? And that is Jesus coming through going, hey, I love you.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
Where I forgive you for the shit that you're Going to do that's fucked up because you have your negativity bias. I'm here to fill you up with love so you don't do that stuff. And when you do fuck up, I forgive you again.
Chris Distefano
Right.
Giannis Papas
And wow, you could see how, like, profound that is. I wonder if it took down the temperature throughout the world when it took over.
Chris Distefano
Well, or some people would say religions killed more people than anybody, because then.
Andrew Schulz
You end up fighting about different.
Chris Distefano
People would say, there's the argument there.
Giannis Papas
Exactly.
Chris Distefano
They'll say, jesus, nobody's killed more people than the idea.
Mark Gagnon
We don't got time for it, though. It's an emergency, dude. We're close to the World War II.
Chris Distefano
We're not talking.
Mark Gagnon
Put everyone on a low dose.
Chris Distefano
On a low dose of Lex.
Mark Gagnon
Get the Lexa Pro, put it in the water supply and calm everyone down.
Giannis Papas
Are you on the.
Andrew Schulz
On the list?
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Why do you think we restarted the podcast?
Giannis Papas
Wait a minute. Tell me, tell me, tell me.
Chris Distefano
Danny's on medicine.
Mark Gagnon
I have 5mg Lexapro. I mean, most people say it doesn't do anything, but if the placebo effect.
Chris Distefano
I can tell you, it does a lot.
Giannis Papas
Look, okay, so this is something that I've seen. Like, a lot of my friends that I grew up with that are kind of like 40s parents, like, a staggering percentage of them are all on a low dose of Lexapro.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
And nobody's having a conversation about this, but they're all kind of happy.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
Especially the ones that are not living the life that they thought they would live. They are much more accepting of this life. Is that what it does?
Mark Gagnon
Well, I have a complicated situation, dude. When I had kids, something happened. Like, I started realizing so much about who I was and my life and where I come from and my parents trauma, you know, that was big. And I've had kids trauma, you know, I've had violent things happen to me. And so, you know, you have kids and then you love them so much.
Giannis Papas
And you don't want them to go through that.
Mark Gagnon
And you. But you also start comparing it to your childhood, and you're like. And so a lot of traumatic. I started having, like, you know, anxiety and panic and went on a journey and, you know, did EMDR therapy, which is.
Giannis Papas
What's that?
Mark Gagnon
Right? EMDR therapy, it's the. It's sort of the. You know, it's the gold standard for trauma therapy. I did trauma therapy. And what they do is it was created by this chick Shapiro in the 80s, and it's bilateral stimulation so the whole goal of it is to simulate rem, because when your body, when your mind is in rem, you access your subconscious and so. And you reprocess the memories, you know, from a safe place as an adult to sort of reprocess those emotions. I mean the whole. We're going through another. Like we had the pharmacological revolution in mental health. Yeah. And now we're sort of, we know now that pills are not the long term. No, pure. That they were. So now we're going into this trauma in the body. And it seems to be all the science because we've, we've, we've been able to, to mix neuroscience with all these schools of psychiatry that have been around and, and, and pills and everything and figure out a lot and learn a lot because they can see parts of the brain. They can see that trauma is not stored the way it's supposed to be stored in your brain.
Chris Distefano
Some of it they think is in your gut, some of it is inherited through your mom, your mom's. Your mom went through something horrible. You inherited that. A REM of it.
Andrew Schulz
I have, I'm on a low dose of Lex Pro too.
Giannis Papas
No way.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah, I, I talked to, so I have a Dr. Omar Durani. I would just talk to him about like why I can't sleep, whatever. And then he would, for like a year, he'd be like, hey, you might have some level of anxiety. I would kind of brush it off. And then I talked to another like a psychiatrist who specializes in sleep. And I just told him about life, whatever, how long ago this, a few months ago. And he was like, I think he's.
Giannis Papas
Been selling out shows ever since.
Chris Distefano
Since.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah, yeah, same works, dude. He said people who grew up in that kind of situation often have anxiety. Sounds like you have anxiety. And then I've been seeing a therapist for like 10 years. And I was like, yeah, I guess I, maybe I have like some low like level of anxiety. I can just function with it. And she literally goes, yeah, like it was the most obvious thing in the world for years. And my wife had been saying it too. Cuz my wife has like general anxiety disorder, whatever, ocd. She has these things diagnosed and she would look at me and be like, like, I think you have anxiety. You just can function really well with it.
Giannis Papas
So, you know, have you noticed changes in the last.
Andrew Schulz
I, I do think so. And I noticed when I used to get mad, especially like within the relationship, the temper would be like, I'm screaming, I'm going nuts on whatever and now that is pretty much died out. So I do notice that that's one thing I have. I thought back, I was like, oh, since I started and my body's adjusted to it.
Chris Distefano
We're also too, I think like I'm.
Andrew Schulz
Sleeping a little better.
Chris Distefano
Through evolution, like angst, anxiety might not be a thing, you know, I don't know 50,000 years from now because we have it. Because when we, we were just another animal on the plane, we were just another animal at some point that would just get eaten by a lion. So we needed a level of anxiety for survival. We don't need it anymore.
Giannis Papas
We don't have a social utility for this anxiety that's baked in us. So it's like searching for things that justify itself.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
Wow, that's really interesting.
Chris Distefano
It's why in war torn countries they don't have the problems we have because they just have one major problem and that's staying alive and being killed and gassed by whatever, you know, person, enemy wants to gas them. They don't have generalized anxiety.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah, their anxiety is useful.
Chris Distefano
They're not worried about, they're not even fighting with their spouses half the time because they're like, we have to survive. So we have this. Our anxiety is actually being used for the, for the human that their life.
Giannis Papas
You'Re basically saying that their life is, is not that dissimilar to the anxiety that a human 20,000 years ago would go through on.
Chris Distefano
So their anxiety is being used for what it was designed to be used for. So, so therefore it doesn't trick what.
Mark Gagnon
We know about the nervous system now. And we know it is that your nervous system is the most archaic part of your brain. And it does. The communication between the neocortex and the nervous system is not great. So your nervous system will respond before your reasoning gets a chance. And that, so anything that reminds that person of that trauma, it reacts. And your brain, it actually shuts your reasoning down. And for good reason.
Giannis Papas
Because you don't want to reason when a lion is.
Mark Gagnon
You don't want to start philosophizing when you're about to get eaten. So that's what trauma is. And so I was brought up by two traumatized people I didn't really know was normal for me.
Chris Distefano
More torn people.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, I mean, my mother lived under German occupation for four years. Something bad happened to her. She told me every day a Nazi soldier would come to her house. The way I look at it now, the way the therapist explained to me is she probably, that's the way she remembered it, by disassociating. That's what that was a big part of. Occupation. And my dad was a war veteran. My dad actually had ptsd. He actually, when he came back from Korea, he spent like a month in a hospital. He had the rash. They called it shell shock back then. Yeah. I was on the corner with my dad once and a tire exploded. My dad crawled under a car.
Chris Distefano
And you didn't have to yell the N word, though.
Mark Gagnon
That part was unnecessary. Yeah.
Chris Distefano
That wasn't necessary.
Mark Gagnon
But the look in his face as a kid, looking at someone who's there but they're not there was the cr. Now, as an adult, I, I, I realize what it is. And then my panic attacks didn't start. I didn't have any until I got shot, and I didn't know what it was.
Giannis Papas
So after you got shot.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
You got shot in your 20s, right?
Mark Gagnon
I got shot in my 20s.
Giannis Papas
This is when you were, like, doing the nightclub thing.
Mark Gagnon
That's right. I first started doing comedy.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
And then. So you get shot, panic attacks happen. You do you associate them to that or you just like.
Mark Gagnon
No, I had no idea what was going on.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
The Internet was just starting. Right.
Giannis Papas
You can't even look up this information.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. I didn't even know it was to going. It was just like, what? I'd get on the train and I'd start bugging out and sweating and I'd be like, what is going on? Then, of course, you go, something's wrong with my health.
Giannis Papas
Yeah, yeah.
Mark Gagnon
So then you start worrying about something's wrong with your health.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
And then I went to a therapist and I worked through it and it went away, but it didn't totally go away.
Giannis Papas
This is the emd.
Mark Gagnon
EMDR back then.
Giannis Papas
Now tell me about the emdr.
Mark Gagnon
Emdr. So it's fascinating and all the science, they use it now in all the VAs.
Giannis Papas
Right.
Mark Gagnon
It's the most effective form of treatment for people with ptsd.
Giannis Papas
Can you tell me, like, what exactly they do?
Mark Gagnon
So what they do is they bilateral stimulation, so they get your eyes to move back and forth. You can do that with a ball. You can do that with the ball.
Chris Distefano
Doesn't have to go very far with you.
Mark Gagnon
With me, they just EMDR with me, it's just like.
Giannis Papas
It's just.
Mark Gagnon
They actually don't even have to move it.
Chris Distefano
Yeah. It's just.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. And then they take you back through the memory palindrome.
Giannis Papas
That was a good one.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, yeah.
Giannis Papas
Keep going.
Mark Gagnon
And so. And then they take you Back through the memory, and you sort of feel yourself experiencing the memory very vividly because you're. You're tricky.
Andrew Schulz
You're hacking your brain kind of stuff.
Chris Distefano
Not.
Mark Gagnon
It's not hypnosis because you're fully aware and fully conscious. So it's just. It's just hacking your brain by tricking it into thinking you're in a REM sleep, like bilateral stimulation. So it's all about bilateral stimulation. You could do it, you know, tapping. You can do it with fingers if.
Unknown
You'Re doing something to activate your. Your active mind. And so your subconscious mind kind of comes out, like when you're driving. You come up with good ideas.
Giannis Papas
I was going to say maybe sometimes in a long run. Yes.
Mark Gagnon
Because it's actually bilateral. Okay, so that's actually true.
Giannis Papas
I felt versions of this on a long run. Long run, yeah. You can get into this almost meditative state, and you can access these feelings in a way that you can't when I'm just sitting down trying to. Where my brain is tearing me in different ways. Okay. So you access these things, and then when you're accessing them, the therapist is like, helping you deal with them. Or is it simply just acknowledging that.
Mark Gagnon
Things start to come up, you start to remember things. Right. You start to remember it, and then you. The whole goal is to reprocess the. The memory. As an adult, the ultimate goal is to look back and sort of help yourself be the parent if you were neglected.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
You know, give the hug. And so then you kind of re. Remember it that way in a sort of way. It's very interesting how the brain works, but you process it and you. You process those stuck emotions. The emotions are stuck.
Giannis Papas
So it is kind of cool that we do have the ability to move past these traumas, but we have to access them in a way. Way where we are, I don't want to say vulnerable enough, but like, yeah, vulnerable enough to actually acknowledge what has happened.
Mark Gagnon
What I've learned from doing this, man, is that most people don't know why they are, why they are, who they are. It's all child. Freud was right about one thing. It's all from the childhood when. When, you know, your brain is developing. We know that too. The first five years of the most important. The brain develops till it's 25. So for an example, I just get like, some guy, you know, feels like he wants to get out of his marriage or something. And, you know, he's like, something's wrong with my wife, really, and he feels trapped. Just when he's home. He has no idea that the reason he feel trapped is because when he was home, he was trapped with two parents who were fighting, throwing shit. He has no clue that he feels that thing because of his childhood. So he just projects it onto his.
Giannis Papas
To that person who's completely innocent.
Mark Gagnon
Innocent.
Chris Distefano
And I go to ChrisDComedy.com and see that guy do stand up.
Mark Gagnon
While I was giving the example, I was going, am I talking about Chris right now?
Chris Distefano
I love you, baby. No, I'm just kidding. You said I could do those things. Now I was just joking around because you know that I love you.
Mark Gagnon
I truly think the future of humanity depends on us, decoding us on an individual. Like somehow we. Because we're the complex species, we're the one that's creating all this problem. We're the ones who need to get control of our brain and figure out who we are, why we are. And it's usually because of childhood trauma, child things that happen in your childhood that make you the way that you are. And we. We project it out into the world unconsciously because we have.
Giannis Papas
And the pharmacological approach was a brilliant. But it's a brilliant innovation. But it is a band aid. But sometimes in order for society to function, for a lot of us, we needed a little bit of a band aid and. But now we're accessing it or at least understanding it on a different wavelength. Wow, that's awesome. And have they have, like, the VA seen massive improvements from 100%? Really?
Mark Gagnon
It's real science. It's crazy. It's just, you know, you hear about. And you go, like, there's. It's. It's real science. You can go research it yourself. It's like I said, you felt like.
Giannis Papas
Transformation in your life.
Mark Gagnon
I felt transformation. But it's not. It's not just the EMDR alone like that. You have to prep for the emdr, and then when you do the emdr, your pathways get opened up so they know they can correspond with the neuroimaging. What's happening.
Giannis Papas
Holy.
Mark Gagnon
We have neuroplasticity. When you're young, your neuroplasticity is very elastic and you can change very quick. That's why you can learn a language real quick. And when you're old, it's tougher, but it's still possible. So, you know, there's more resistance, it's harder to change, but you're actually through emdr, building new pathways. And so that's.
Giannis Papas
It's cool to know that you can still change. Like that you're not locked into this childhood. That was not your fault at all.
Mark Gagnon
You just have to be willing to. Let me tell you something. It's fucking painful. It is painful. It is painful.
Giannis Papas
How long a period is.
Andrew Schulz
Can you talk about. Yeah, yeah. Can you talk about what the you revisited? Like, if you're willing to. Like, this is what happened. This is what the, the therapist or whatever asked me and made me revisit.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. I was brought up with a brain injured brother. So that's where it started. Right. My parents just left me.
Chris Distefano
Not the gay one.
Mark Gagnon
Not the gay one. Yeah. I was brought up with a brain injured brother. And you know, my mom was a human rights lawyer, so she was out fucking trying to take care of the children, which was another thing. I know.
Giannis Papas
Know.
Mark Gagnon
Oh, I know why you're doing that now. Now I know why you're doing that now. I know why you're doing that now. I know why you're international rights at kids and that's what's her thing. I'm like, I get it.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Andrew Schulz
Wow.
Mark Gagnon
It's sad. It. Even when I'm saying it, it's real up. But, you know, I was left with a brain injured brother. You know, my parent, my father was working all the time and so I was left with him. And it was a confusing. It was, as my therapist put it, developmentally inappropriate. So I was left with something. I was a lot of responsibility. I was responsible for him. And it was just the two of us. So my nervous system just developed in this hyper state and then I got shot, which reinforced it.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
And.
Chris Distefano
And is that why you think that the therapist say that's why he thinks you would put on your mother's fishnet stockings because you wanted to be your mother? Because that's a real thing.
Mark Gagnon
No, actually, yeah.
Chris Distefano
Actually, you thought it was a perverted thing, but you were actually being very vulnerable to your brain injured mother and you throwing the nets. That's what we call me.
Mark Gagnon
It was a decision.
Chris Distefano
Throwing fishnets around.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. It's a completely normal thing. I made it into. Yeah. I made Joe. It was one of my.
Chris Distefano
We all do. I used to throw my mother's high heels.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. So, you know, we all have things.
Giannis Papas
The best way to have this combo.
Chris Distefano
Yeah. It's called being from New York.
Mark Gagnon
So I would get so panicked when I was a kid and I didn't remember, I would go try to smell my mother's clothes, which is what all mammals do. And now I look back, it's a comfort.
Giannis Papas
It's a Comfort.
Mark Gagnon
Because I was just at home alone and with my brother. And so I would smell her clothes and then I would smell her stockings. Next thing you know, I was. Next thing you know, Marisa was created.
Chris Distefano
You've seen, you've seen the.
Giannis Papas
There's. There's some experiment where they have. It's. I think it's a monkey and they have a monkey that's a caricature of a monkey. It's actually not real. They put it in some like furry outfit and then they have one that's like just made out of metal. And the monkey will always gravitate towards the more comfortable, softer version. Because you are seeking the comfort of your mom.
Unknown
The metal one has food.
Mark Gagnon
Oh yeah, yeah.
Giannis Papas
It wouldn't even go to the food one. That's mental. Cuz it doesn't want food. It wants the nurturing and comfort from the mom. Oh my God.
Mark Gagnon
We can't. They did this. I think it's Romania. They did this. Where the babies were unattended. If you look up the study or some. So it's a very important study where they, the. The babies weren't comforted or didn't get. They were orphans or something. And then a lot of them just died because they didn't get care. Like we actually, humans need care. We're vulnerable like for the first five years. Like it's not like beyond that community is so important.
Giannis Papas
Like I have a. I. I have someone that deals with a lot of like psychological issues and like when he is at his best, it's when he's socializing. So like friend group. Take him away from his friend group for a few weeks and he'll really struggle. Like, like. And I mean like severely struggle. Have him with his friends just hanging out and all of a sudden these like psychosomatic behaviors that start, start to like just kind of like, I don't want to say evaporate.
Andrew Schulz
Subside a bit, but they subside a bit.
Giannis Papas
Like the temperature just kind of comes down. And that I guess that is the big concern. You always hear people talking about where it's like if we're all online, there is like a cold callousness to being online. Like it is like the, it's the band aid, right? It's like you think you have community, but you don't have the nurture, you don't have the high five, you don't have the hug, you don't have like your friends celebrating you when you hit a game winning shot in some fucking beer league, right? And wow, man, I didn't wow.
Chris Distefano
That's.
Mark Gagnon
That's why online is bad for your mental health. Yeah, the online is just bad.
Giannis Papas
But especially the isolation.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, the isolation of it. But also just our brains are not evolved to. Our brains can't tell the difference between real and fake. Like we just. Our nervous system can't.
Chris Distefano
When you're having an anxiety attack, even though you know it's not real, your body is reacting. It's a real thing. But that's why those centurions, though, every place you go to that has a majority, majority that has a high percentage of 100 year old people or more. After diet, of course. The second most thing, even more than exercise is community. The ones who live amongst the community and talk to someone on a regular basis live so much longer than the ones who don't. That's why people die in nursing homes.
Mark Gagnon
100.
Chris Distefano
You're taking them, you're isolating.
Mark Gagnon
We're a social species. That's how we survived. That's why we have the negativity bias. When someone says something negative about you focus on that and not the 100 compliments because you want to make sure you're in the tribe. You're still like. It's just all built into us.
Giannis Papas
Yeah. They said we had a Peter Attia. Do you guys know Peter?
Chris Distefano
Sure. Dr. Peter Attia.
Giannis Papas
I love him. And. But he said in shout out zone.
Chris Distefano
Two, heart rate facts.
Giannis Papas
But he said an interesting thing where he said the community is like one of the most important things 100%. But he also said he goes, we shouldn't be looking at centenarians. They're called centurions. We shouldn't be looking at centenarians for health advice because they are the LeBron James of people. So you go to all these centurions, they're like, yeah, I smoke a cigarette every single day. I go tonight with some whiskey. He's like, yeah, yeah. They're living long in spite of that. They're the outliers, not because of that. So we have to be very careful to copy their behaviors. But in terms of community, massive. And I think that's why they say like guys who are in a golf league or a tennis league, like all these pickleball, whatever you want to say, they're living much longer. It's not pickleball, it's the fact that every day you're hanging out with four other people talking.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
And here's a big aspect that I experienced personally because one of the blue zones is icaria, which is. Is the icarians.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
And so they have.
Giannis Papas
Is that in Greece?
Mark Gagnon
It's Greece. It's a Greek island. It's one of the blue zones. And so they hired me, right? So they have an icari I carrying, you know, convention every year in different cities. So they hired me to do their show. They come to a hotel, they have festivals. I experienced it firsthand. Right. So the show was like at 10pm or 9 or whatever. It was done at like 11. Then they took me to this ballroom. It was like midnight, it was empty. And I was like, in my mind, I'm. I'm like, oh, the party's over here, right? It's done. And they're like, no, we haven't begun. And I was like, what? It's midnight. And they're like, yo, no, this is when we start, so. And then I see 90. I swear to God, old people, 90 year olds, 80 year olds, 4 year olds, 30 year olds, 40 year olds, they all pack in, drank like fishes, partied like you can't believe traditional music. Everyone's dancing, going party. And you know, they have a joke, this is why they live long is because they party so hard. And in the blue zones, that. That's one of the things too is they party hard. But it's intergenerational.
Giannis Papas
You have the kids and the adults and everybody's.
Mark Gagnon
Everyone parties together.
Chris Distefano
It's like a Bert Kreischer cruise.
Mark Gagnon
Except the weight's a little different.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, it's just a little heavier on that cruise.
Mark Gagnon
Just a little heavier on that cruise.
Chris Distefano
Yeah. I don't. Sometimes I don't know how that boat just stays.
Giannis Papas
But he's staying up.
Mark Gagnon
I did a Bert Kreischer cruise and I did the Joker's cruise between the two of them, dude. I mean, there was a lot of traffic just to get on the line for food. And it was just because people in scooters were holding up the line. There's actual human traffic in cars.
Chris Distefano
Yeah. If we ever run out of bombs in this country, I'm gonna start just dropping cruise ship passengers out of planes.
Mark Gagnon
Fucking heavy people. So the intergenerational factor, I think is important too.
Giannis Papas
Yeah, you can't just. What do we do in America, like, with our old.
Mark Gagnon
Throw them out.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, throw them out.
Giannis Papas
And why do we feel more comfortable doing that here? And do they do that in, like, Britain? Like, where did we get this idea? Because we surely didn't invent it.
Mark Gagnon
I think, personally, America is founded on looting. We're all here to loot. Our parents and grandparents came here to.
Giannis Papas
Loot so we are the people that left their families.
Mark Gagnon
They left their families. They're here for money.
Giannis Papas
Every one of us. Our ancestors left their families 100%. So they might not value. Maybe there's something even genetic. They might not value that community at all. Aspect as much right as those other people. And there is an advantage of that because when you aren't as concerned with the group, you can innovate in ways that might piss off the group but might really be successful. So that individual spirit is what drives the economy. It. It what drives the identity of the country. But the cost of it is that connectivity.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, it's a connectivity also. I think we value who's got the most money.
Giannis Papas
Oh, yeah.
Mark Gagnon
Over wisdom. So like, everyone's like, elon Musk is a God. You're like this.
Giannis Papas
You don't even hang out with his kids.
Andrew Schulz
Kids.
Giannis Papas
Yeah, it's corny.
Mark Gagnon
He's super. Yeah, it's so corny, you know. So we don't value that kind of older wisdom. We don't look at older people. We just look at. Even when you come to America, and I noticed this when I toured in Scandinavia hard. I noticed it right away. When you're in Scandinavia, if you say to somebody, what do you do? They look at you like, you're rude. They're like, they don't. Even when you meet someone, they don't do that thing where they go, like, what do you do?
Chris Distefano
That doesn't factor into how they don't think of you as a person.
Mark Gagnon
I'm telling you, they don't even bring it.
Giannis Papas
I know that for a fact because we saw hot chicks working at McDonald's. I was there with Ricky Bellez and we walked in McDonald's. Ricky is a great bit about it, but. And there was like a smoking hot chick that was like. And yeah, I think his joke is. She's like, can I get you something to drink? He's like, can I get you something? You couldn't believe that there was a dime working at McDonald's and you would do that. Obviously, if you're, you know, a kid and you're trying to make a couple bucks and you weren't worried about, like, societal scrutiny and what people might think.
Mark Gagnon
It's cultural. It's a cultural difference. They have something there called the Yanti Loven, which is the law of Yanti, which nobody's bigger than the group. Don't get too big for your bridges. We're all kind of in it together now. A lot of people say there's negative to that. And I'm sure there is, because in America, you can be who you want to be.
Giannis Papas
Yes.
Mark Gagnon
But I noticed culture, culturally, they don't value that the way we do in America. What's the first thing you say?
Giannis Papas
Yeah, what do you do?
Mark Gagnon
What do you do? And you define who that person is based on what they. What they do.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
And there's the most important aspect.
Giannis Papas
It's important that you say that there is a cost to. That, to. There is like a restrictive cost to a lack of an individual spirit. Like, if you come from. My mom's. From like a, you know, working class, like, comes from nothing. The idea that you could, like, Excel is almost like, insulting to your community.
Mark Gagnon
Right.
Giannis Papas
Like, who do you think you are? Is the conversation. Conversation. Well, you think you're better than us. And that is like the restrictive pressure that comes with the community. The benefit is, you know what? Maybe none of us are going to make it out, but we all got each other.
Mark Gagnon
Right.
Giannis Papas
But the cost is nobody's making it out. So it's like, how do you balance that? That's the tricky thing.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, it's a. It's a very. It's a very tricky thing. You're right. It's. It. But that seems to be what have. The way the simulators set this up, everything's opposite, you know, oh, this tastes good. Well, it's bad for you. It'll kill you. You know, it's just set up. It's set up in opposition.
Giannis Papas
Yeah, yeah.
Mark Gagnon
And we do know that there's a God, I think, at this point.
Giannis Papas
Yeah, of course.
Mark Gagnon
I think the more we learn about, you know, the universe and how it's.
Giannis Papas
When did you come to that realization? I feel like you weren't.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, I was very skeptical. But let me tell you something. My dad died. This is when it started. My dad.
Chris Distefano
Fentanyl.
Mark Gagnon
Fentanyl died of fentanyl. No. My dad died when he was 91. And, you know, the thing he wanted the most? What gets us all? What you say?
Chris Distefano
Fentanyl. Yeah, 91.
Mark Gagnon
So he died, and the thing he wanted so much was grandkids. Right. And I didn't. I wasn't able. One brother's brain injury, the other one's gay, so I'm the only one. A lot of pressure, and it didn't happen. He. I didn't make it to the kids to show him the kids, but a year after he died, my daughter was expected and. And born on his birthday.
Andrew Schulz
Oh, wow.
Mark Gagnon
Right. So that's a 1 in 365 chance of that a year after he dead. I mean, my daughter's my. You know, it's, it's crazy.
Giannis Papas
And then to put how crazy that is real quick, like there's a two day window. You can even knock up your wife.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
Every month.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
But let me ask you this.
Giannis Papas
Like, think about how insane the numbers are.
Mark Gagnon
I know, I know. It's crazy to me.
Giannis Papas
It's not even like if you timed it.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. It would happen.
Giannis Papas
Like you time you go. Okay, I'm going to have sex with my wife nine months before his birthday. So we met. No, no, her, her, her regular or menstrual cycle might not even match up. Yeah, that's. Oh, wow.
Chris Distefano
And then it went even further spiritual. You're not saying that your daughter is a man trapped inside a woman. I thought you were trying to equate that. That's why you are Marisa.
Andrew Schulz
No, but then that is quite the possibility.
Chris Distefano
Yes.
Andrew Schulz
It could be your dad.
Mark Gagnon
When we went to the hospital too, and this was personal, but it's unmistakable. And it just made me know that, like, oh, that dude, I don't know anything. You know, there's forces out there.
Giannis Papas
There's things, there's humbling.
Mark Gagnon
It's humbling. Right. We get there and we turn on the TV and so what's on TV is a cooking channel. And there, this, this, the person on the cooking channel is making coleslaw.
Giannis Papas
Right.
Mark Gagnon
They're showing making coleslaw, which is the most throwaway food. Nobody. I don't even know why they put it on the plate. Right, right. And so, but my dad loved coleslaw. He grew up working in his dad's diner, of course. Grandfather diner.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
He would go to the diner and he would order more coleslaw. Sometimes he would just eat cold slaw.
Andrew Schulz
How the did he live to 91?
Mark Gagnon
I don't know. He's the only dude I know who love. I mean, what I mean, he loved Colts. Like, he loved coleslaw and coffee.
Chris Distefano
He would always drink a lot of coffee. I got to know Yanni's dad at the end. He was a fancy.
Mark Gagnon
He said, you were so good looking, you should play for the Dodgers. My dad was hilarious. My dad would go, you know he's gay. He's gay as a $3 bill.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
His dad was. Tell me. Keep going, keep going. So it was on the cold slaw and I just immediately, I'm just going like, I just felt chills everywhere. On your dad's birthday presents and like on his, on his birthday the coleslaw. And I just don't. Look, I don't know. And I've learned a lot. I meditate now and all that stuff. I think it's all the same shit.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
And you know, we're talking about Iran, Zoroastrianism. I looked into that. It's all the same shit. It's about, we are not our minds. You know, and then when you separate and you meditate and you realize you're not your mind, which is something you identify. It's a crazy experience feeling. And then you go. Like, it's liberating, but then you're also going, then what? What?
Giannis Papas
Yeah, what am I here?
Mark Gagnon
And then you're like, you're. Then you feel a part of this great everything.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
And like it's in everything. And then. So you're.
Giannis Papas
It's either.
Mark Gagnon
But it's spiritual.
Giannis Papas
Yeah, but that's.
Chris Distefano
But you.
Giannis Papas
You guys are taking it in in the best possible way. Like, there are some people, when they come to that realization, when they are humbled, they go, well, everything's nothing. And therefore it.
Chris Distefano
I had. I had a little bit of that.
Giannis Papas
Well, no, but I think. I think that nihilism kind of takes over some people and there bitterness and an anger that comes from it. The other version of it, which it seems you are right now, it's kind of really beautiful thing. Like, hey, we're not our minds. We are interconnected. There might be a bigger force out there. And it's. Yeah, it's kind of beautiful to assume.
Chris Distefano
Make absolutely no mistake, Yanni is on the beam.
Mark Gagnon
And what on the beam means is.
Chris Distefano
He is present inside God's warmth and love at all times. He is on the beam. If an airplane, the way that it can land the plane is it has a beam that is getting from air traffic control. And if it stays on the beam, it's going to land if it goes off the beam. Air India. So when Yanni is on the beam, folks, he is present within God's warmth and love in a way that I've never seen in our friendship. The kid is on the beam. Big.
Giannis Papas
I feel like you're on the beam.
Chris Distefano
I feel like I'm on the beam. And I do feel very similar to Yanni, even in those stories about the spirituality of having a child, how beautiful that was. Because when my girl was pregnant with our first daughter, when we got our very first appointment on the sonogram, I realized I had sex with the girl at the sonogram in high school. I'm joking, obviously. And she was a 90 year old woman. It was Yanni's dad. But no, I do feel, I do feel one thing, one thing that I've accepted. You know, you go through all this stuff, life's just getting older, it's making a lot of mistakes, it's failing, it's hardships, it's all that. It's. I feel that. And Yanni and I have spoken about this where for me now, still residual anxiety. There's still things to be nervous about. There's still, still things to be upset about, obviously. But for me, I always think about it this way and this is. Might sound like nihilism, but it's not. Is no matter what, no matter what, we have a one way ticket to die. We are dying. Nobody's getting out of this planet alive. So if you told me suffering and depression and anxiety was going to somehow get me off that train of death, I would do it. But since either way I'm going that way, I might as well be happy and enjoy everything because there is nothing that will save me. So I accept that. But it's a very positive thing for me.
Giannis Papas
I think that. I think you've made some decisions in your life that are very admirable. You know, like you have. You take care of a kid that's not yours.
Chris Distefano
My stepson. Sure.
Giannis Papas
And have embraced him and it seems like built a relationship with his father. Like, I think there are a lot of guys that are in your situation that might not do that.
Chris Distefano
No.
Giannis Papas
Because I just want to compliment you. I think that that's like a very, I think it's a courageous thing. It's the right thing to do and it's incredibly mature thing. And a lot of people aren't confronted with a decision like that.
Chris Distefano
Right.
Giannis Papas
And a lot of people don't have the maturity when they are to even kind of like embrace that other guy that's in the picture and make sure that that kid doesn't feel like he's not part of the family.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
So I think that there's some. There's a lot of love in you, my man.
Chris Distefano
100% a lot of love in that. Because for me it's. I look at him, my stepson, as an extension of my daughters. Right. I mean that's who he is and he's. And number one, before I had children, he was, I fell in love with the woman and that was her child, the most sacred thing to her. So how could I.
Giannis Papas
You're not.
Chris Distefano
How could I not? You know, how could I discard him you know, like, he's my child. Fuck with me. After you're 18, though.
Mark Gagnon
Two grown men.
Chris Distefano
Then we're just guys.
Mark Gagnon
You're not my.
Chris Distefano
Hey, guy.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
No, I love my kids. Like, they're my own. You know, all three. That's why we say on set, I have three kids.
Mark Gagnon
If you.
Giannis Papas
How do you balance that? Like, you are that person. You're his stepfather. You're friends with his father. Y. But, like, you're also someone that I imagine, like, he looks up to. You're someone that I imagine you have. You have a huge responsibility in his life. Like, can you. Can you. Like, reprimand is maybe the wrong word, but, like, can you say that he's not doing something right? Like, do you navigate it differently with what I do?
Chris Distefano
So what I do is with him. What I do is with him. I. I definitely cut him a lot more slack than his mom does, but it's his mom's more. It's his mom's role. I'm just clinarian. Yeah. When I step in, I'm. It's almost very old school with it. I step in. In that. Cause I understand. And I always use the same word with him. And I say, listen, your relationship with your father is sacred. That's a sacred thing that is your father. So anything. You always want to go. If you're feeling conflicted, I'm telling you now, go with what your dad thinks. Because that is a sacred relationship. And he. I said, there's no one that's going to ever love you like your mom and dad. Even though I love you with everything, your mom and dad. It's a sacred thing that I only understand because I have that sacred bonds with your sisters. But that doesn't mean I love you as much as you can imagine. But it's a thing from nature. That's just something you'll understand when you have kids. But I get involved in a bigger way when I feel like a man needs to say something to him. Like, when I see him, it's not me about the schoolwork or the not listening or whatever, but when I see, I come more. When he gets disrespectful to Jasmine or to our daughters, I don't say, don't you talk to her like that. I say, what you've just done, buddy, is you've taken the easy way out. It's much easier to yell back at your mom and your sisters. It's much harder to say, I'm a man. And what I'm going to do is process what you said and walk away or what I'm going to do and.
Mark Gagnon
Go fucking punch a wall.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, it's what it is.
Unknown
And keep pushing.
Chris Distefano
I always tell them, don't take the easy way out. You know, it's so easy to yell back at your mom, and it's so easy to tell your sister she's an idiot. That's. That's the easy stuff.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Because the hard stuff is being. Is being. Is being a man, you know.
Giannis Papas
How did you navigate the relationship with his dad?
Chris Distefano
I. Almost immediately, from the beginning were like. Because the. One of the benefits actually of, you know, Jasmine and I had our oldest daughter, Delilah, very quickly into the relationship. Like, we were only dating for a few months, and she had conceived a baby so very quickly. That means her problems or her not problems, but her parts of her life became parts of my life. And I had to kind of say to myself, again, we're having a child. There are the. You have. You would have had kind of ways out of this if she wasn't pregnant. But now you don't. You have a child. So this is your life now. So choose peace as much as you can. Every opportunity to choose peace. So when father, you know, got introduced to me, Tristan's father got introduced to me, I immediately shook his hand and said, you know, I'm about to have a baby with Jasmine. That's. I look at you. I look at at this as the. The baby inside. My girlfriend is your son's brother or sister. So we're connected here. And I'm looking at this as the three of us. As it takes a village. There are three parents. I look at this as, like, a beautiful thing for our kids. They have three parents. They have, like, an extra hand. So I don't want this to ever feel like, this is your family, this is mine. Let's all do this as one. And I think from that, we always have and we have a respectful relationship where it's like, you're not gonna be. There could be an opportunity to be best friends, but it's like when we see each other. Other, it's cordial. It's cool. There is. We also made an agreement, him and I, each other said there will be no ever. There will be no talking bad about each other of our children, about the mother of our children.
Giannis Papas
Right.
Chris Distefano
We will not do that. Yeah, I will. And if we. If, if, you know, we would say something to each other. If, like, you're speaking to remind you it's the mother of our kids here. So, like, she needs to be sacred and held to a high standard. So I think that for us, it again. And that's a. My. That's from my father, though my father would always preach to me, you got to do. Do the harder thing. What's the harder thing? Usually 99% of people are going to take the easy way. You'll go with the easy thing. It's very easy to, you know, pontificate online about, you know, like you were saying, nobody knows Iran and Israel. And that's true because it's easy to just spout off shit that you feel.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
It's harder to do the research, actually take months and go to Tehran and see what the people are actually living. Most people aren't going to do that. So most people don't know. So my dad would always preach that, like, what is the harder thing? And I remember he told me and my stepmother told me, because my. My parents were divorced. My stepmother told me, listen, when you. When I met Jasmine, he said, you're about to be a stepdad. You're going to be a dad in nine months, but you're going to be a stepdad. You're a stepdad. Right now. It's the most thankless job in the world. You have to give the same love and energy and the same support as a parent, but you will most likely for a very long time not get any appreciation or respect for it. And you have to override nature because you are not bonded to this child by nature. And almost every other animal in the animal kingdom will kill that baby in the wild because it is not theirs. So you have to override system that are so deeply embedded in you that it's very difficult. And what you have to do is just say, this is the hard thing, but it's the right thing, and you have to keep doing that over and over and over again. So that's why I do that.
Andrew Schulz
Wow.
Giannis Papas
It's worked out, though. Beautiful.
Chris Distefano
It's worked well. We're getting a divorce, but, yeah, so far, so good. Now we're coming into some years. My stepson's about to be 15, so there will be challenges of a teenager, of a teenage boy, but I'm hoping that I'm just going to keep with that same principle that I say, do the harm. The hard thing's usually the right thing. And, you know, you keep a loving relationship with them. I mean, for me, it's like. It's like again, and if. And even if I take it from a selfish point of view of I only care about my Children. Well, then you should care about. That's their big brother. Your children are going to be on those times when you're not around because your kids don't want to be with you. They're going to be around their brother because they're similar in age. And don't you want him respecting them and loving them and being the big brother? Because then they'll be better girls. So either way, whether you look at it selfishly or unselfishly, the answer is love. Your stepson.
Giannis Papas
Yeah. Yeah. 100%. No, it's just a lot. Yeah.
Chris Distefano
God, I hope he kills me in a murder suicide. That would be poetic. Play this at my funeral. That would be on the Netflix doc.
Mark Gagnon
Really funny. That would be wild.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
They go back and be like, wow, was he wrong about that?
Chris Distefano
You know what.
Mark Gagnon
16 flipped on?
Chris Distefano
The FBI is actively investigating him right now because he has a list and I'm number one.
Mark Gagnon
But here's the deal. True crime is so popular of a genre.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
Why?
Mark Gagnon
We are going to run out of content. We need content creators.
Giannis Papas
Someone's got to go do it.
Chris Distefano
I guarantee Mr. Beast starts killing people.
Mark Gagnon
We got to keep up with this demand. We're running out. I mean, it's just running out.
Giannis Papas
Why is there this true crime obsession?
Chris Distefano
Because we can get the thrill of.
Giannis Papas
What it is without experiencing it.
Chris Distefano
To kill someone without experiencing. Because everybody deep down wants to kill someone. Someone. Because like I said, we're the most savage type of homo sapien.
Mark Gagnon
It's mostly women that watch it.
Andrew Schulz
Maybe that I don't understand it.
Mark Gagnon
Well, maybe that's just how much they hate other women, is they like to watch them get murdered. And they just watch and go, you stupid.
Chris Distefano
You don't.
Mark Gagnon
You don't marry a guy who owns a boat. You dumb. You end up dead on that boat. Dumb. Stupid bitch.
Andrew Schulz
Do your girls like true crime? Mine does not. I don't. I don't.
Mark Gagnon
My. My girl likes true lies and Mormon wives got good taste. She likes, like, Frasier. She watches reruns of Frasier.
Chris Distefano
Oh, no.
Andrew Schulz
She's into, like, mine loves Housewives and. But she.
Mark Gagnon
My wife likes that too.
Giannis Papas
They all love the housewives.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
But. Yeah, yeah, we hope that they're watching it to laugh at them.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, Right.
Giannis Papas
That's what we hope.
Mark Gagnon
I think for them it's like.
Giannis Papas
Yeah, we hope it's not inspiration.
Mark Gagnon
They go like, brain dead when they watch.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
They're just like. They just kind of like, that's good.
Chris Distefano
Sometimes you need that to reset.
Andrew Schulz
It's like meditating power sports, I think.
Mark Gagnon
Yes, exactly.
Andrew Schulz
That's exactly where they came up with, like, free agency, gossip and all that fist.
Chris Distefano
That's why they're watching Housewives. I'm watching Brian Windhorst.
Mark Gagnon
That's why the WNBA just has to admit, listen, women are never going to be in to women's sports because their favorite sport is trying to destroy each other with fake compliments. That's what they like. So what you have to do is stop trying to get women to like it and get men to like. So that is no more lesbian dressing everyone in miniskirts. Let's see some titties.
Giannis Papas
But what you're saying is happening. Like, I think Caitlin, like, first of all, this scene season or Latino last season, they all just became hot.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, that's crazy. Angel, Reese, Caitlin Clark, they're all hot.
Mark Gagnon
One of my favorite videos that was just watching them walk into the arena. Oh, yeah, she looks good. Yeah, yeah.
Chris Distefano
I watch it with a tub of answer next to me.
Mark Gagnon
I gotta admit. I mean, I don't know the guy.
Andrew Schulz
Who's that girl that. The Cedra or whatever, because what's her name, Yachty was talking about her beautiful camera brain.
Giannis Papas
Oh, no, no, no. I don't even think she's in anymore. Yeah, they should have kept her in there.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. There's this dude who. He's an Instagram guy, and he does this Smash Olympic, like, Smash playoffs of all the WNBA teams. Smash or pass. And it's very funny. And he goes through all of the teams and he's like, smash, pass, respectfully. And it's really funny.
Giannis Papas
There's. Have you seen the guys that do the. They're betting on Angel Reese missing her first shot.
Mark Gagnon
She shoots like.
Giannis Papas
Yeah, but like, they're. They're up to 10 games. There's just four of them. They just watch the beginning of the game. They just wait for her to get the ball and then they go fucking crazy. But it is true. It's like once Caitlin came in the league, she started playing in a way that we wanted to play. Like. Yeah, like, there's no guy that. I mean, outside of, like, NBA players that doesn't wish that they had Caitlin's game. I want to be able to pull up from the fucking logo. She could do it. The second the game transfers to our interest point, we're invested. We're watching.
Mark Gagnon
Right.
Giannis Papas
So I think you're right. It's like, in order to get women's sports. In order for women's sports to be incredibly popular, you need to get the People who like sports to watch, which are men.
Chris Distefano
Which are men.
Giannis Papas
You're not going to transition all these women into girls that watch sports.
Chris Distefano
And it's the same principle. Like, me and my girl got into a fight the other day because she was like, I was talking about the WNBA and how I was watching it, and I was like, you know, my daughter, my older daughter, 10. I was like, oh, maybe she'll like it. Whatever. Because I can't really get her into sports. It's like a thing. I'm like, trying so hard to get my older daughter into sports. She just does not want to play, and I don't know what to do.
Giannis Papas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
So. And so. And so I'm trying to get her to watch. And then Jaz, like, oh, please. You know, you're only just watching because you think the. The girls are hot. That's why. You know, Caitlyn Clark's on the fever. I was like, a yes, but she's awesome. But I was like, what, you don't think it's the same for you? She's like, no, I watch sports because it's fun. I'm like, really? Then how you're telling me you knew Danny Amendola's stats, some random wide receiver from the Patriots, you just wanted to have sex with him? Yeah, that's just what it is. So it's the same principle. And then she just went into the other room and started cooking dinner.
Mark Gagnon
I think Haley Clark, I think the long ball is kind of like the dunk to men. Since women can't dunk like that. The long ball is like the dunk. So now it's like.
Giannis Papas
And Steph opened that up.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
Like once the NBA transitioned into a three point shooting league.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
WNBA got popular.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Giannis Papas
So Steph really made women's basketball exciting.
Unknown
Stephanie Curry, bro.
Chris Distefano
That's what it's. He's gorgeous. He would be the hottest player in the Phoenix Mercury.
Mark Gagnon
I'm not saying there's anything wrong with the lesbians. The lesbians are great. There's just. If you're. There's not a lot of lesbians in the world. So just from a marketing standpoint, it's just harder to market that. So no more cornrows and baggy clothes, girls. So lesbian.
Giannis Papas
Just.
Mark Gagnon
Just pretend to be straight for the marketing of it walking hot. And then you can go it and do whatever you got to do, which is be a girl on the walk in.
Giannis Papas
That's.
Mark Gagnon
That's what we need.
Giannis Papas
Listen, listen, guys. Thank you so much for being here. History hyenas is back. You guys already know that, but make sure you check it out. Giannis Papa's property owner is out right now on YouTube. You filmed it at the mothership. Hilarious.
Mark Gagnon
Thank you, sir.
Giannis Papas
Guys, go check that out. Chrissy, you got the special out on Hulu.
Chris Distefano
I got a special out on Hulu.
Giannis Papas
Go check it out. There. Tour dates until December through DecemberChristy.
Chris Distefano
Comedy.com. your boy's trying to repay his mortgage.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. Mike Gates.
Giannis Papas
Giannispapascomedy.com Giannispapascomedy dot com thank you guys so much for being here. We good.
Mark Gagnon
This was a nice reunion.
Giannis Papas
Thank you.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Happy Juneteenth.
Podcast Summary: Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh Episode: History Hyenas on Israel & Iran, Kanye is MLK's Dream, & the History of the Ottoman Empire Release Date: June 18, 2025
Introduction
In this episode of Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh, hosts Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh, alongside AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon, dive into a whirlwind of unfiltered and controversial topics. True to the podcast's description, they navigate through sensitive subjects with a blend of humor, conspiracy theories, and historical anecdotes, all while maintaining their signature unapologetic stance.
Section 1: Air India Conspiracy Theories Duration: 00:00 – 13:56
The episode kicks off with a discussion about Air India flights, characterized by boarded-up first-class seats and pilots allegedly sabotaging planes. Mark Gagnon conjures wild theories suggesting Pakistani involvement in plane mishaps, highlighting skepticism about airline safety and authenticity.
The conversation swiftly transitions into dismissing official explanations, with the hosts mocking the reliability of plane ticket verifications and the integrity of international passports.
Time Stamp Highlight:
Chris Distefano (00:24): "The plane is like a legitimate. Like, it's a Dreamliner, right? That's like a new age plane, man."
Section 2: Israel & Iran Geopolitics Duration: 13:56 – 33:11
The hosts delve into the complex geopolitical tensions between Israel and Iran. Mark Gagnon emphasizes the fragility of international relations, suggesting that interference by political leaders could escalate into World War III.
They discuss the influence of foreign nations like China and Russia in shaping global policies and the challenges of navigating echo chambers in understanding international conflicts.
Time Stamp Highlight:
Akaash Singh (04:16): "Everyone's building look like a white guy trying to dunk and just like I can't get to the rim."
Section 3: Kanye West as MLK's Dream Duration: 33:11 – 57:05
A provocative segment explores the notion that Kanye West embodies aspects of Martin Luther King Jr.'s dreams. The hosts debate Kanye's controversial statements and actions, juxtaposing his persona with historical civil rights movements.
The conversation touches on historical figures and their legacies, questioning the authenticity and motivations behind public perceptions of leadership and influence.
Time Stamp Highlight:
Chris Distefano (32:22): "He's a Nazi. So it's like, what's the more relevant thing? Him being black or him being."
Section 4: The Ottoman Empire and Historical Perspectives Duration: 57:05 – 85:06
The discussion pivots to the history of the Ottoman Empire, examining its strategies of conquest and assimilation. Mark Gagnon recounts personal family history intertwined with Ottoman practices, shedding light on the brutal methods used to maintain control over diverse populations.
The hosts debate the accuracy of historical accounts, the portrayal of different cultures, and the lasting impacts of imperialistic policies on modern societies.
Time Stamp Highlight:
Giannis Papas (35:16): "We don't do sponsorship. You can invest. You know what I mean?"
Section 5: Mental Health and Trauma Therapy Duration: 85:06 – 117:35
Transitioning from historical discourse, the conversation shifts to mental health, focusing on Anxiety, PTSD, and the efficacy of therapies like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). Mark Gagnon shares personal experiences with trauma and the transformative effects of therapy.
They explore the biological underpinnings of anxiety, the societal stigmas surrounding mental health, and the importance of community and support systems in healing.
Time Stamp Highlight:
Chris Distefano (105:07): "I have a Dr. Omar Durani. I would just talk to him about like why I can't sleep, whatever."
Section 6: AI and Its Impact on Society Duration: 117:35 – 143:11
The hosts engage in a speculative discussion about Artificial Intelligence (AI) and its future ramifications on employment, societal structures, and human interactions. They ponder the balance between technological advancement and the preservation of human roles in various industries.
The conversation also touches on the potential for AI to foster greater unity across diverse groups by eliminating inherent biases, albeit with a humorous undertone that masks underlying anxieties about technological dominance.
Time Stamp Highlight:
Mark Gagnon (123:00): "We are the most savage type of Homo sapiens."
Section 7: NBA Finals and Sports Commentary Duration: 143:11 – 165:07
Shifting gears, the hosts provide commentary on the NBA Finals, specifically focusing on the Oklahoma City Thunder's playoff run. They analyze player performances, team strategies, and the dynamics of small-market teams triumphing in major leagues.
The segment blends sports analysis with personal anecdotes, highlighting the unpredictability and excitement inherent in competitive sports.
Time Stamp Highlight:
Mark Gagnon (162:00): "He is on the beam. Big."
Section 8: Advertising and Promotions Duration: 165:07 – 180:00
In line with the podcast's format, the hosts briefly discuss upcoming shows, promote personal projects, and engage in humorous advertisements for sponsors like Acorns, Magic Spoon, and BlueChew. These segments are interspersed throughout the episode, providing a commercial break from the main content.
Note: This section is intentionally brief to align with the request to exclude advertisements from the summary.
Conclusion
Throughout this episode, Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh maintains its commitment to delivering "unfiltered, unapologetic, and unruly hot takes." From conspiracy theories and geopolitical tensions to personal mental health journeys and sports commentary, the hosts navigate a labyrinth of topics with humor and a touch of irreverence. Notably, their candid discussions about trauma therapy and the future of AI add depth to the otherwise chaotic dialogue, offering listeners a blend of entertainment and introspection.
Final Notable Quote:
Giannis Papas (177:35): "Let me tell you something. It's fucking painful. It is painful. It is painful."
Disclaimer: This summary is intended to capture the essence of the podcast episode based on the provided transcript. The diverse range of topics discussed may contain sensitive or controversial content that reflects the hosts' perspectives and comedic style.