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- [00:00]
A
Hey, guys, look. We got a great episode with Ali Siddiq today. Tanya got married this weekend. They ran out of toilet paper or it was some ceremonial thing where I got an amazing blessing. You guys decide. Anyway, before this amazing episode with Ali Siddiq, there are some things that we have to address. Some very important things have happened in the world. The Knicks, after 53 years, are NBA championship. I'm so excited about it. I don't. I don't know. I think. I think this is a cool moment because people have actually realized, like, the only sport New Yorkers all care about is basketball. There are New Yorkers who care about baseball. There's New Yorkers who care about football. There's New Yorkers who care about hockey. But the only one that all of us come together to care about as a part of every single New Yorker's identity is basketball. And that's because that's the only sport that we can all play grown up. Like, my high school didn't have a baseball diamond, you know, didn't have a football stadium. We had a basketball team. Barely wasn't even a home court. We had to go to this place called Basketball City. It was like a facility that we would play our home games on. And. But, yeah, so it's just. It's the sport that means the most to us. And, you know, we've suffered through, you know, half a century of losing and never got. We were bitter, but we never lost hope. We never lost hope. And hope is the religion of New York City. Yeah. Not to get too, like, existential, but that is what drives New York City. Like, nobody moves to New York City because they don't have. Because they. They just want to kind of, like, see what it's like to live a mediocre life. Like, you move here because you have hopes and dreams, and you hope to achieve them in New York, and we never lost hope. It's just the weird thing, like, every single year, we would have this, like, delusional Knicks fan thing where, like, we're like, yeah, this is the year. We're taking it all the way with Emmanuel Moudier, you know, and Jared Jack, and shout out to both of them. But, like, you know, Enos Cantor is going to bring us a chip. We would believe. We believed every single year for 42 years of my life, 53 years of other people's lives. And I think that's awesome. It makes it that much sweeter. It makes it that much sweeter that, like, every single year felt like our year. Like, I was Looking through my phone. People are sending me videos. People send me videos of, like, a decade ago of me going, nah, Knicks are taking it this year. And then you look at the lineups of these teams, there's no way the Knicks are taking it this year. But we believe that is one of those beautiful things about New York. And even the people that move to New York to make a life here is they truly believe. They believe something crazy, something magical can happen. And that's exactly what we all got to witness. Also, doing this movie out in California, and they shaved my mustache, and it took, like, five, ten years off my life. I feel like I'm on guy code again. It's absolutely insane. I don't even know if I'm looking into the right part. I don't even know where the camera is. I'm recording this on my phone, obviously. But, yeah, they. They snatched my stash, bro. The games were nuts. We're gonna get to this episode. It's phenomenal episode. You guys are gonna love it. This is the jersey that I wore.
- [03:17]
B
When we
- [03:20]
A
finish it up. Game five in San Antonio. I was at game three, four, and five. How lucky. How lucky. How incredible. Think about that. Think about that. Four was the greatest sporting event that I'll ever experience in my entire life. I'll never experience anything like that. That is it. It's all downhill from here when it comes to sporting events. And then five was just complete euphoria. Like, I gotta be honest, like, the San Antonio fans were very cool. They're very sweet. Like, they're great fans, and they're used to winning. So I think it's, you know, they're not, like, combative, like. But with all due respect to San Antonio fans, it was a home game in there. I mean, I'm being conservative when I say this. 40% of the arena, Knicks fans, they were booing spurs players while they shot free throws at home. It. It was. Anyway, okay, I've talked too long on this, but God bless New York, man. We can start focusing on the World cup after the parade on Thursday. Shout out to tartan army. The Scottish taking over Boston. The World cup is really, like, an amazing event, like, outside of the sport. Like, it is just. It might be, like, the most incredible act of humanity that exists, just seeing people from all around the world embrace different cultures and see, like, the most beautiful, passionate parts of them. And, yeah, it's. It's pretty awesome. Whatever. We'll talk about that. I'll be out here for a few weeks. We've recorded A bank, some. Some. Some dope apps for you guys to check out. So enjoy Ali Siddiq. It's got some amazing stories. You can find out who the hottest white woman in prison was. Just amazing, like stand up stuff and yeah, just great, great episode. Hilarious guy. You know, it's almost drowned. Great story, but I mean, just. Just awesome stuff. So enjoy. Love you guys so much. God bless the Knicks. God bless New York City. God bless you all. Peace. What's up, everybody? And welcome to flagrant. And today we are joined by a favorite guest of ours who is back, I think one of the most prolific comedians out right now, maybe ever. Just the volume is absolutely insane. He is yet another special. Do you know how annoying it that you have released multiple specials before? I barely got back on the road from my last special and I'm here to celebrate. I have to celebrate you while also like, man, I'm not working hard enough, man. It's Ali Siddiq back in the building. He's back in the building. Listen, this is perfect timing, you know. Cause Houston's own just put out a triple album, you know, so Houston's home. Does Houston claim? Does he say claim? Drake. I like how we're getting political right off the top.
- [06:13]
B
I don't think my era claims Drake. I think whatever that era is he's in claims him. But I've never been. Oh, Houston. Drake's from Houston. I'm like, no, I don't think I ever even said Drake hung out in Houston. Really, it's not. I'm not a. This is what it is about Drake. Okay? Music. Okay. Cool music is cool. But Ali, it was cool.
- [06:37]
A
I love you, bro. I love you. The second I saw him adjust his seat, I'm like, all right, take it away, brother. Take it away. Let me tell you something.
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B
So the music was cool because of this, to me, because it was so much familiar music that I had already heard growing up. So I could see the emulation in when you did the Too Short Joan, when you did the Pimp C joint when you did, you know, so it's like, it's familiar to. It's familiar to me. I'm like, oh, okay, I remember this. But it's not really celebrating you. It's celebrating the era where I know you got it from.
- [07:17]
A
Right?
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B
You know what I'm saying? So I wasn't like, oh, Drake is the man. I've never gave him that lyrically. So really it's better lyricist than Drake.
- [07:29]
A
Who for you is Top three, top five lyrics, just lyrics.
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B
Oh, just lyrics. The story's telling. Guru of all times is Slick Rick. His.
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A
His.
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B
How he paints a picture is. Is phenomenal.
- [07:42]
A
Yeah.
- [07:42]
B
Okay, then you have to. Can I put them together? Because I heard somebody say that another group was the greatest group of hip hop of all times. I was like, so y' all never heard of Run dmc? But
- [07:59]
A
who'd they say was the other greatest group?
- [08:01]
B
And it is. And I like both groups. Outcast, Outkast, and I like both groups. That's hard to say, but you can't. It's just one of them things. You gonna put overrun and Daryl Mac.
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A
This is where, like, our age is showing a little bit. Like, the way something affects you when you're in your formative years, you know, like, it's like the way that we look at Jordan. Nobody could look at Jordan that grew up with LeBron.
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B
But see, the thing is, before Jordan. Cause I didn't grow up yelling Jordan. It was always Dr. J. It was in different eras.
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A
Not even Hakeem, when you're in Houston.
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B
No, Hakeem came with Jordan. I'm 52. They was already. I'm a being. I'm living already. I'm already watching basketball.
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A
So Dr. J was number one.
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B
Dr. J was the number number one guy, even over Kareem. You know what I'm saying? I didn't grow up yelling Kareem, even though I knew this, even though I tried to get the sky hooked down.
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A
But you want to play like Dr.
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B
J. Dr. J was. Jordan wanted to play like Dr. J. So the thing is, how do you. And I'm just not one of the people that skip over the original idea for the take on the idea.
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A
Especially if you lived through the original idea.
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B
I'm old as hip hop, but hip hop wasn't. Oh, shit, just think about it.
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A
I did turn 50.
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B
That's crazy. It's 52 now.
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A
I'm 52.
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B
So I remember when it wasn't hip hop yet. It wasn't the Voltron hadn't happened yet. It just said uc. It was rapping. It was just called rapping. You know what I'm saying? It wasn't the dancing yet and the fashion and all of these things. It hadn't combined yet to become hip hop.
- [09:55]
A
Wasn't it also, like, there was like, a DJing aspect too?
- [09:57]
B
DJing, you know, but that's the part with the MC for the beat. But. And then this thing before people had beat machines, I had a dude named Herb, okay? He beating on his chest.
- [10:15]
A
He beating on his
- [10:18]
B
mouth. It's the human jock box. The fat boys and then the skinny boys is there. Dirty fresh. It was like, make the music with your mouth. B is what they think. This came what they thought he was doing. He was beatboxing. So it wasn't. It wasn't a. This is by. This is a mustard on the beat. No, it's Herb on the beat.
- [10:38]
A
Herb is the beat. That's so funny.
- [10:41]
B
So, you know, you gotta think about how the overall thing, like, when you talk about great producers, they'll talk about everybody else. But leave out Herbie Love Bug. Like, how do you leave out these people? Who. In the beginning, the beginning people.
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A
Herbie Hancock was on the. Wasn't he on the concert? No, no. John Hancock. John Hancock.
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B
That's a signature.
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A
That's his nephew. His nephew, Herbie.
- [11:15]
B
That's the thing. You can't. It's like. Even with, like, podcasting or late night shows, how do you just put somebody else over the original idea? Cause it was somebody that originally did this first.
- [11:29]
A
Who was your original for the late night shows?
- [11:32]
B
Oh, man, you gonna have to go Johnny Carson now.
- [11:36]
A
Would you consume Carson like in your house?
- [11:38]
B
Yeah, I'm a kid. It's like when I'm growing up, Johnny Carson is coming on this TV.
- [11:43]
A
When we were growing up, there was one TV, so it was like a house.
- [11:47]
B
We had two TVs. You had one at the bottom that didn't work that good. And then you put the other one. There's two TVs.
- [11:59]
A
Like, it was a familial event watching
- [12:01]
B
something together, you know, like Bonanza. Man, I'm never gonna not like Bonanza. I don't know what is. This is my first soap opera. This is like. This is like, yo, man, this is a great show. Like, I grew up Carol Burnett, right? This is my first comedic, you know, person, you know, there's a. Oh, man, this is. Do you understand Bonanza? No, bro. Let me tell you something.
- [12:29]
A
I hope you guys are watching the
- [12:30]
B
video of this episode. Look how fly. Look how fly they were, man. Look at this jacket, bro.
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A
That jacket do go hard. I ain't got a lot of scars.
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B
I had that on last night at Nasha State. Like, yo, this is. This is. Man, this is a classic show and things always happen.
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A
That's the standard for TV back in the day. Things are always happening.
- [12:54]
B
I'm doing my own bananas.
- [12:56]
A
Yo, this is just white Shaft.
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B
If I could do. No, no, you gotta get to look. Watch out now. You know the Cartwrights. The Cartwrights. Are the first, like, cowboy, mob, family, but nothing jumping off without Cartwrights involved in it. If I could do a black version of this, it'd be crazy. They need to bring this back, man. I'm telling you, if you sit down and watch Bonanza, then you'll call me and be like, yo, bonanza's crazy. This is a great show. But just think, my first comedic influence, Carol Burnett. It's not the watch. Listening to Richard Pryor albums. I'm first interested in comedy because of how funny Carol Burnett was. I would watch the Carol Burnett show, and it was hysterical.
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A
Really?
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B
Like, Carol Burnett show is hysterical. Like, if you go back and you look at all the shows that we watched that we came up on, like, I have a strong argument when people try to say that, you know, TV is an idiot box. No, it's the idiot that's in front of the box. That's what you choosing to watch. You know what I'm saying? Just like, if you sit up, oh, man, you talking about a hysterical show. This show is hysterical. It's like. And all the different characters that Carol Burnett played, it's like, she doesn't get enough recognition amongst people for comedy. Cause this is like, this came on, man. He just walked in with just like, this is crazy. Like, this is a crazy show.
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A
So I went back and watched a bunch of I Love Lucy.
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B
Oh, man.
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A
And I was shocked at how funny it was. Yeah. What? Like. Cause in my mind, I don't know, sometimes I watch old standup, like Lenny Bruce, and I'm like, it's. I can appreciate what it was in the time, but it's not funny to me now the way it was then. But I'll watch I Love Lucy. And I was expecting it to be the same thing. Like, corny jokes. No, it was legit. So the situation.
- [15:07]
B
So the thing is, you said that it's not funny as it was back then. You had. You would have to travel back in time and go back. Yes. Then. And be like, yo, the context. But you have people that have transcended time.
- [15:19]
A
I think Prior does that.
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B
You know, a lot of people do it. Pryor is, like, top tier. And I think that people get when Pryor is not your focus. Oh, it's Pryor. I like Richard Pryor, but he wasn't Cosby to me. Yeah, Cosby was.
- [15:40]
A
And Cosby still holds up.
- [15:42]
B
Well, comedically, Cosby is like the pinnacle. And then you have. You have Don Rickles. You have Don Rickles.
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A
Don holds up. Yeah.
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B
You know what? I'm Saying. And that's the thing. You have comics throughout comedy history that hold the test of time.
- [16:00]
A
But it's hard with Stand up, though, man. It's very hard. They're like movies that you can watch from back in the day. And you can be like, holy shit, this is an amazing film. And there's a lot of them. Like, you can watch Shawshank Redemption right now, and you can be like, this is one of the best films I've ever seen in my life. I watched, like, shitty action movies from when I was a kid. And I'd be like, this is. This is Armageddon. I showed my wife Armageddon. She's like, how did I not know about this movie? I was like, because you were zero
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B
when it came out.
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A
He just described Armageddon to me. I was like, what is the movie about? And he just explains it. And three minutes of the explanation, he starts going, I started crying, bro. He went up on the asteroid and blew it up. No, no, no,
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B
he's.
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A
And he goes, requesting permission to shake the hand. Daughter of the bravest man I've ever met that I can't even talk about right now. I can't talk about right now, bro. That movie, Shout Out.
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B
Bruce Willis, man. The Legend. It's like, you sound like my mom when she watching Officer and the Gentleman. When he came through, he carried her through the.
- [17:08]
A
I saw a TikTok that me up today, man. There's something about my algorithm where, like, seeing Chinese dads, like, from China, like, give up their daughter in, like, marriage or whatever like, that they got to take the hand and put the hand in the husband's hand, and it's like, it's over. And there's this one where, like, he says it. He's in Chinese, but they're subtitled. And he might not even be saying this shit. He might be like, take this bitch. I'm done with her. Right?
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B
Like.
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A
But it says if you ever don't. If you ever find yourself not in love with her, please, please bring her back to me. Or something like that. And I was like, God damn. Oh, here it is. Oh, he's speaking English. I didn't even know. I didn't even know it. They got the COVID mask on. Because you're not used to seeing them get emotional. See, you don't see them emotional.
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B
I think that's. You're not used to seeing Chinese people emotion.
- [18:13]
A
No, I don't see it often. You don't see it that often. I see white people and black people and Latinos get emotion, but Chinese emotion, you never see that shit. They're stoic. They'll wait 50 years for revenge.
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B
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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A
But they don't just cry. And my whole algorithm is just Asian dads. It's the whole algorithm.
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B
Asian dads breaking down.
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A
That's it.
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B
And it gets me every single time.
- [18:38]
A
Yeah. What gets you? You're an emotional guy.
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B
Just kids. Something happening with kids. It bothers me. You know, if I could. If they would. If the United States would legally allow me to be, like, a vigilante, and anybody who hurt kids and you just let me take care of it, I would do it. Like, I would sign up, like, right away. Like, it's like, yo, you wouldn't be a vigilante. And they would give me, like, these are all the people that you can legally take out of here any type of way you want to. Cuz they hurt kids. I'm like, I would be so diligent on that list.
- [19:21]
A
Like, Santa Claus.
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B
Like, my list I'm talking about, it would be. I would be getting it done. They would be amazed. I would come back like, no, no, he more.
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A
He's.
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B
He's done, like, four lists. Like, everybody else is still on their first list, but he's like. He's getting the. He's still the business. Like, I'm like, yo, like, this looks kind of short. Ain't like, I'm like, like, this is just in one city. Cause I'm. Oh, yeah, it's gonna be. I'm. And I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. It's gonna be bad. Like, it's gonna be bad. Like, I'm. I'm leaving bodies, places, like, in bags. And he was on the list. Yeah. And like, like, just. And I'm not like, I'm like. I'd be like, what they call Malika Mo. I'm not wavering. Like, I'm not. Like, it's nothing you can say to me. Like, it's like, once you see me and you know that you on this list, you know you done did something.
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A
That's it.
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B
Like, yo, it's. It's. Hey, bruh, it is what it is. Like. You ever seen Jason? No. What's that movie? No. Country for Old Me.
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A
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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B
Old boy that was on there with the. With the. With the.
- [20:27]
A
Javier Bardem plays, the guy.
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B
Oh, he was. Yo, flip the coin. Oh, you ain't gotta do this. Yeah, we gotta do it. I don't even have no coin. I'm like, you on the list. You're on the list. It's a mistake. I don't know about that. You gotta deal with that. You gotta do that whenever you get a chance.
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A
Yeah. If you had the same name as someone you know is on the list, you gotta change your name.
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B
Oh, man.
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A
Because Ali's coming.
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B
I'm coming, I'm coming. Like. And I. And I got plans for you. Like, it's not like I'm like, I've already thought about what I'm doing. Each one going to be different, but it's going to be a bag. Whether the little bag or a small bag. You're like, yo, did you see the one that he left? It was just like a soup bag. It was like. It was a bag with a.
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A
Like a boil. Wow. Have you seen Dexter? You're familiar with Dexter, right?
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B
I've seen.
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A
He goes out and kills serial killers. Or he kills bad people.
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B
Kills bad people.
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A
It's like, anybody. It's only. It's only serial killers. It's just like, anybody who's bad. Yeah, yeah, that's fine. We like that. That's kind of.
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B
I would definitely be like, you did a job.
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A
Could you deal with the violence aspect, though? Like, would that be difficult?
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B
He just said it'd be bad. Like, what
- [21:49]
A
do you know, the. Oh, fuck. What's the name of it? Let's rap about it. You know? Let's rap about it. Pa. It's got Mayno, Jim Jones, Davies, and fabulous. Have you ever seen these guys, bro? They were doing. They asked of a question. They're like, what would you do if you guys weren't rapping? And then they said different things, like, maybe I'd be in fashion. Maybe I do this, maybe I do that. And then Mayno's go mano goes, I'd be a serial killer. It's not a job. It's a hobby. This is the exact definition that I'm in right now.
- [22:18]
B
If I wasn't a comic, I'd be a chef. I already know, you know, still cutting stuff, but, you know, that take me back to thinking about when people talk about eras of things. So I was doing somebody else's podcast. Not gonna give the name.
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A
Shout them out.
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B
Oh, no, I'm not trying to shout them out.
- [22:43]
A
Okay, okay, okay.
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B
I was giving somebody. I was giving a take on something on somebody else's podcast. And I'm talking from what happened in the 90s.
- [22:53]
A
Yeah.
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B
Then somebody else was on that same podcast and said. What I said was bs. But then I went and looked up when they were locked up. They were locked up in 2014.
- [23:10]
A
Ah. So it's a very different time.
- [23:11]
B
It's a different time. And I think that some guys. And I text the person on the podcast, I say, would. From what I'm hearing, what I'm not gonna allow you to do is get me into no beef with somebody over error that they didn't understand. Right. I said, because it'll go there. And that's the thing. But me being intelligent enough to understand that you're speaking from a different era than what this was, that's like me talking about, oh, what would have never happened in the 50s. I wasn't in the 50s.
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A
Can't say.
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B
I just know what was happening in the 90s. And sometimes people spe on things without understanding the error.
- [23:54]
A
Yeah, that's podcasting.
- [23:56]
B
Yes.
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A
It's kind of the medium.
- [23:58]
B
Yeah. And that's the thing. It's like, people.
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A
But if you're in the room, it's kind of difficult. But when you're in a room with someone who's had the experience, it's kind of difficult to be like, nah, you didn't have that experience that you're telling me about.
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B
But the great thing is this person had an experience. But in 2014, it's not the same. In 1993.
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A
Yeah.
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B
In 2014, you didn't even have. Y' all didn't even have canned goods when you were locked up.
- [24:29]
A
Yeah.
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B
You had pouches. So how are you gonna talk about what we would have did in. In 93 when we had canned goods?
- [24:37]
A
Yeah. Yeah.
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B
Two different eras.
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A
Yeah.
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B
You know, I remember when people used to drink out of the water hose outside or out of a hydrant. Just random. You turn on. But now it's. Oh, Like, I'll never forget. My cousin was thirsty, and I had some water, and I was like, here. He's like, man, I ain't drinking after you. Like, since when? Like, since when? Like, what are you talking about?
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A
Yeah, we shared a garden.
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B
We drank out of the same jug in the house. Like, what are you talking about? I ate half of ice cream, and you ate the other half. You. And vice versa. Are you insane? Like, like, then I had one cousin who still lives in that era. Like, I was. What that fool said to me. He's like, yo, man, scratch my back. I'm like, I ain't scratching your back. He's like, what, you gay? I'm like. Cause I know I would have scratched his back then back in the day. I'm like. And he like, no, no, no.
- [25:35]
A
He's like, you can't get into it. You can't get into it.
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B
I'm like. And then after, they're like, yo, you still itching?
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A
Nah.
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B
I'm like, all right.
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A
I thought you were doing yourself.
- [25:50]
B
It's a different. It's a different era. Like, we talked about the Chucks, right?
- [25:53]
A
Yeah.
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B
This is the original color. There was no color Chucks. And we dyed them with food color. You know what I'm saying? Like Easter eggs. You know what I'm saying? If we wanted another color, we would dye them. You know what I'm saying? But people and this. And like, I refuse.
- [26:09]
A
He told us they sold Chucks at the grocery store.
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B
Like, any. You can get Chucks anywhere.
- [26:14]
A
The freezer section, pop them out.
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B
You know what I'm saying? And they was. The high tops was $12. The low tops was eight. So just imagine. I remember I'm in. I'm like, mid-40s at the time, and I'm appalled. I'm like, yo, I'm gonna go buy me a fresh pair of Chucks. And I went in them chucks was
- [26:31]
A
like $50 or something like that.
- [26:33]
B
It was like $64 in taxes. I was like, damn that. Now I'm not buying. I'm not paying this for no juts.
- [26:40]
A
Yeah. I'm not buying a real sneaker.
- [26:43]
B
And I refused.
- [26:48]
A
He just bought your vegetables and went home.
- [26:50]
B
I'm left. I'm like, I ain't buying these shoes. Crazy. But I bought some, like, maybe three months ago. I bought some black ones to start doing squats in because of. Cause they flat.
- [27:03]
A
But.
- [27:03]
B
Yeah, but don't work out in these shoes.
- [27:05]
A
Don't put yourself through that. I think that's why they dribbled like that back in the day.
- [27:10]
B
They were good.
- [27:10]
A
You can't cross over in these.
- [27:11]
B
Yeah.
- [27:12]
A
You told her there's no cool AI.
- [27:14]
B
That's one of the things people talk about who had the best crossover. I'mma always still say Tim Hardaway. Well, because of. Because of. It was. No, it was a different crossover. It was no this.
- [27:25]
A
No. It was quick.
- [27:26]
B
It wasn't no carry. It was a. It was. And so Skip to Malou. Oh, wow. Skip to Malou had a crazy crossover. You know what I'm saying?
- [27:34]
A
Tim's was deceptive, man. Cause Tim. Tim was so shifty. And like, I'm a Knicks fan, so I got to see Tim's crossover.
- [27:41]
B
I'm a Knicks fan, so I'm like, Tim was crazy.
- [27:44]
A
But look at that. It was the between the leg cross. A lot of people just do that regular cross in front. But he would go, oh, yeah, he was filthy. Just filthy.
- [27:52]
B
And then who added. Who. Who. The next Abdul Rauf right after that. His cross was bananas.
- [27:59]
A
Yeah, but.
- [27:59]
B
But it's not that carrying.
- [28:01]
A
He didn't. He didn't pledge allegiance, bro. So.
- [28:03]
B
Man. But just still. He was still there. Everybody apologized to him. They need to say the documentary on that. Yeah, they knew they was wrong for
- [28:10]
A
that, but he was feeling what happened. This guy was basically like Steph before Steph.
- [28:13]
B
Way before.
- [28:14]
A
Like, like, lights out shooter. And what was the deal? He wouldn't stand for the national anthem or something.
- [28:18]
B
Yeah, he didn't want to stand for it, and.
- [28:20]
A
But he was unbelievable. Who'd he play for?
- [28:22]
B
Wow. He was taking the. The Nuggets.
- [28:25]
A
Denver Nuggets. Yeah, but he was filthy.
- [28:28]
B
He came from lsu.
- [28:29]
A
I mean, unbelievable. Unbelievable.
- [28:32]
B
The pull up was crazy. Like, he. I remember when he gave Chicago the business 50 piece. Oh, this is the part that people don't say about this. So they. He's giving everybody the business. So then they try to put everybody on him. Everybody. And Scottie, they. Jordan grabbed Scottie. Like, you hold him. You know what I'm saying? And then Scotty was getting roasted. Then Jordan tried to host. Hold him. He cooked Jordan. Wow. And then they put, like, Paxton on him or Curry or somebody.
- [29:04]
A
Can't do it.
- [29:04]
B
And it was. And it was like. It was. It was crazy.
- [29:07]
A
I never heard of this, but you remember him. This is like a big story back in the day. Oh, damn it.
- [29:12]
B
You got a couple. He was cooking.
- [29:13]
A
I mean, just filthy. He was quick release. Like, again, it was a very different game. Like, they didn't shoot threes like they do now, but, like, just lights out.
- [29:22]
B
Like, it was. It was. And so the team dropped him, and no one re. Signed him because he wouldn't stand for the.
- [29:27]
A
Basically blackballed.
- [29:27]
B
Yeah, they blackballed him. They did the same thing to Craig Hodgins, though.
- [29:31]
A
Yeah, well, because he didn't go to the White House.
- [29:33]
B
No, because he wore dashiki to the White House.
- [29:35]
A
What?
- [29:36]
B
Really? Yep. If you was. If you was Muslim and you were in the NBA at this time, you were getting. You were getting shunned. Just like when they talk about the 50 greatest sinners, they talk about the greatest sinners, they leave out Hakeem all the time, which is insane.
- [29:51]
A
Nah, that's crazy.
- [29:52]
B
Yeah, that is insane.
- [29:53]
A
Nobody's leaving out Hakeem from the top 50 centers.
- [29:55]
B
Oh, man, they do it All. They do it all.
- [29:57]
A
You can't.
- [29:57]
B
No, I'm talking about when they do the top.
- [29:58]
A
The 50 players ever.
- [30:00]
B
When they do the top five, senator, me.
- [30:02]
A
Ah, okay.
- [30:02]
B
When they do the top five,' Kareem,
- [30:04]
A
it's going to be Bill Russell. Shaq. Not in this order. Hakeem, you put two Muslims up there.
- [30:13]
B
That's fire.
- [30:14]
A
Yeah, yeah. I mean, like, who else would you put there, Kareem, Bill Russell, Wilt, Shaq. Hakeem. Yeah, Hakeem. Got the rings. Pat Ewing doesn't have the rings. Who else would be there?
- [30:28]
B
They be throwing all type of people up there. I'm glad that you mentioned Bill Russell. Cause they'll leave Bill Russell out as the greatest player that played. I'm like, but Bill Russell, he was playing against the Mormons. Like, what? He wasn't playing against, man. He was playing against. He was playing against everybody that was available to play against.
- [30:44]
A
That's true. That's true.
- [30:46]
B
That's very true. Like, they don't take. They don't take. This is a. This new NBA is a travel. Is a travel league in Boston.
- [30:53]
A
Think about this like, Boston is like divided, segregated, racist as fuck.
- [30:57]
B
Like, they let him coach.
- [31:01]
A
That's how incredible. They let him coach and play.
- [31:04]
B
He played and coached and he won two ranks. Wow. As he played and coached, there's no player today that can serve himself out.
- [31:14]
A
He was playing the coach at the same time.
- [31:15]
B
He was playing and coach at the same exact time.
- [31:17]
A
How many rings did he won? He won two player coach, but before that he won nine. And I mean, yeah, this is a time where, like, he couldn't even stay at, I think similar hotels when they went down south and shit like, that was an insane. But was the play always just pass it to me. No, he was defensive. He was defensive.
- [31:34]
B
Yeah.
- [31:34]
A
He could control the whole game.
- [31:36]
B
Six, eight.
- [31:37]
A
Yeah. And amazing rebounder.
- [31:39]
B
Wow.
- [31:39]
A
My dad said best guy ever played. My dad said that's the most dominant person he ever saw play the game was Bill Russell. And this is during Wilt, when Wilt is putting up like insane, like, video game numbers. But he said Russell could dominate the game defensively in a way they're like you just never seen.
- [31:56]
B
And people just skip over, oh, the greatest. They skip all the way to whoever's current. But when I watch LeBron, no knock on LeBron. LeBron a good player. But if LeBron does 10, 10 get the ball 10 times and he scores 10 times out of those 10, he's traveled six like a legit. I wish I was I would be the most hated referee if I was referen right now. I'm like, yo, I don't care how fantastic it look, you travel. Cause it ain't no gather step now. Now we gotta gather step. It's been two steps and you even have.
- [32:40]
A
Not anymore.
- [32:40]
B
Not anymore. They making up rules.
- [32:43]
A
Yeah, they found a way to add some more steps in there.
- [32:45]
B
Oh, bruh. I watched. It was a fantastic play the other night. Dude dunked on the dude, and I went back and I rewounded. I said, now, look at all these steps.
- [32:56]
A
Four steps.
- [32:57]
B
It was five. Yeah, yeah, it was five steps.
- [32:59]
A
Like, they kind of let you do whatever you want on the fast break. Have you noticed that if you're on the fast break, you should pick up the wall wherever you are.
- [33:05]
B
Dunk it. Didn't Wemby, look. LeBron traveling complex court with just one bounce or some shit like that. Is he holding the ball at that time? He was probably holding the ball right there, walking. LeBron be traveling, man.
- [33:18]
A
1, 1, 2, 3, 4.
- [33:23]
B
LeBron is crazy.
- [33:25]
A
1, 2, 3. Yeah, they don't care. 1, 2, 3.
- [33:30]
B
Yeah, they talking about, oh, these. They could have. Name some people could have. Yo, he's literally walking. You gotta get the Russell.
- [33:40]
A
1, 2, 3, 4.
- [33:42]
B
What are you doing? Ball going the other way like you. Are you insane right now?
- [33:47]
A
Get the Russell Westbrook travel. This is a legendary. He didn't even. Russell Westbrook. Wow. Oh, now they called.
- [33:56]
B
They called that one. They couldn't believe it. He was like, what? What did I do?
- [34:00]
A
Look at. Watch this, watch this, watch this.
- [34:01]
B
Oh, Russell is literally walking down.
- [34:03]
A
Just watch this. Hold on. Watch.
- [34:05]
B
Oh, I seen this. This is crazy. Yo, what are you doing, bro?
- [34:10]
A
What are you doing?
- [34:11]
B
He just coming home from school.
- [34:12]
A
What are you doing, bro? Look at.
- [34:15]
B
I remember Brother's like, what y' all don't do? Come on. So only LeBron can do this. Like, yo, look at.
- [34:31]
A
Look at Steph talent. Look at Steph talent on him. Yo, that really is a 3v3. Like, travel. Like, you're just, like, playing in the court, yo.
- [34:40]
B
Like, he a referee, like, balled out.
- [34:46]
A
You got a point. Y' all got a point. I'm gonna be out in LA shooting a movie this summer, but we added some standup shows, so pull on up, man. We're gonna be in Pasadena, California, at the ice House the 19th and 20th of June. Then the Ontario Improv will be there the 26th and 27th. And then the Brea Improv will be there July 17th and July 18th. And then we're going to be at the Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada Great Outdoors Fest August 8th. So you can go grab tickets any of those shows if tickets are still available. TheAndrew Schultz.com all right, Mark, what do you got? Oh, I have great news. I'm going all over at the end of the year. I'm going to Plano, Texas, Chandler, Arizona, Pasadena, California, San Diego, California. And then I'm also going to a couple other spots that are going to be coming up at the end of the year like Detroit, Michigan and Salt Lake City, Utah. And I can wait. I can't wait to see you guys all there. Markagnon live.com Alex Guys, my monthly comedy show is back.
- [35:49]
B
Canceled Comedy is on June 24th.
- [35:52]
A
We have a killer lineup. Get your tickets@colceledcomedyx.com and then my tennis series, TheAll LoveClub.com the tennis is on July 25th.
- [36:03]
B
I'll see you guys there.
- [36:04]
A
The first one was fantastic. Second one's gonna be even better.
- [36:08]
B
This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50 page restoration block. Or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it, ready to make anything online make sense. There's no place like Chrome.
- [36:28]
A
Check responses set up required compatibility and availability.
- [36:31]
B
Various 18.
- [36:33]
A
What is the greatest sporting event you've seen with your own eyes? Ah, like you were in the building
- [36:39]
B
or at the event. Is it professional? Because it's been a kickball. When I was playing, we was down like by nine runs. I'll take that one. What happened? Man came back, man. Herb on the beatbox.
- [36:55]
A
We will, we will rock you.
- [37:00]
B
I'm just saying everything is not professional. I think that that's the thing that people think also that it got if it's professional. That's the greatest, bro.
- [37:10]
A
Now, that one meant more to you.
- [37:11]
B
Probably.
- [37:14]
A
It does. Little intramural game in college.
- [37:17]
B
You start seeing it falling apart. Like, yo, you start to come back. Like, we come back. I've come back in the game with 21. You know what I'm saying? Like, I was down, but I can hoop. I was down and it just started. And 21 is a harder game than regular basketball because everybody's against whoever playing is playing you. They're guarding you. Like everybody. If it's nine people playing, it's like it's eight against one every time you Touch the ball. So to win that game. Yeah. You know, I would love to see pros because all of them came up playing 21.
- [37:52]
A
Yeah.
- [37:53]
B
Or tip out or whatever. I would love to see all the pros, like, Ice Cube need to add this to the big three. Like, just a game of 21 with all pros and tip out count. Now, tip out is gonna be the worst.
- [38:05]
A
Okay, we gotta explain to people who maybe didn't grow up playing 21. So there's a game that you play when you usually have, like, an odd number of dudes. Like, when will you not play 21?
- [38:15]
B
I will never not play 21. Meaning, like, even if it's even. Even if it's even, you're crazy. Yo, we playing 21.
- [38:21]
A
That's selfish.
- [38:22]
B
No, because you don't want to pass. We let everybody play because it's going to be somebody. Let me tell you how.
- [38:28]
A
Because you don't want the bum on your team.
- [38:29]
B
How you get an even number, 21. Usually it's you. Right?
- [38:32]
A
Let's just explain the game to people real quick. Right, so basically, like, you usually play it when you had, like, five guys, whatever. So you didn't want to play two on two and just leave one guy out. Whatever. You're waiting for a six. And it's basically everyone for themselves. Everyone can d up on one somebody if they want it. But usually it's kind of like one on one. And you got to get to 21. And every bucket you score, you get to go to the free throw line and you get to shoot to everybody
- [38:57]
B
and the free throw. Every bucket and every free throw, and you have to.
- [39:01]
A
Exactly.
- [39:01]
B
You get three free throws.
- [39:02]
A
Yeah, but then when you hit 21, you got to hit it from the top of the key.
- [39:08]
B
Y' all had to hit it from top hours. Was any. Any anywhere. You know what I'm saying? But once you hit, once you get to 19, if you miss that shot or you go to the free throw. Say if you got 20 and you go to that free throw and you miss, you go back, you go back to 15.
- [39:21]
A
Yeah. But then there's also the tip in.
- [39:23]
B
Yeah.
- [39:24]
A
So if you miss a shot, someone rebounds and puts it right back in. Yeah, you go down to 12, but
- [39:29]
B
you can't be on your feet. You gotta be in the air.
- [39:32]
A
Okay.
- [39:32]
B
And then you out 21, man.
- [39:34]
A
So how do you. So how do you. How do you play? Even?
- [39:37]
B
Okay, so it's. It's everybody that's out there is four people. And I'm not picking Rick Yeah, the bum. Yeah, Rick sucks.
- [39:47]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [39:48]
B
So Rick is gonna have to play until somebody else come. We playing 21 to somebody else because we. We Or. Or somebody where it's not fair. Like, if you got something too good, you man, you got somebody. Who. Yo, he played college ball. We in middle school. We playing 21. Cause you're not finna get your duke off on us. Cause it ain't matter or it's somebody grown. It will be some grown dude who supposed to be in the league, but liquor got him. You know what I'm saying? And now he out there schooling. He out there teaching everybody how this really go, why he should have been in the league. And. And he. And he playing 21. He got it. He got. He didn't put a stipulation on his own stuff. I ain't. I ain't gonna be in the paint. Off from outside. Everything outside. And saying that's how you end up playing 21. And you want to tip him out bag. But he ain't missing.
- [40:46]
A
Nope.
- [40:46]
B
He is not. I'm talking about he and he. And he calling you. Y' all gonna come back here with me. So. I've seen a lot of great shooters for years. Like, I know Steph is. Do you remember Thunderdan?
- [41:02]
A
Yeah, of course. Dan Marley.
- [41:03]
B
So Thunder Dan Marley was shooting him and the Rifleman and Reggie Miller. It's like they forget all these long, but he just doing it more.
- [41:14]
A
What about Mad Max?
- [41:16]
B
Mad Max, you know, Mario Ellie. What's my man got? All the rings.
- [41:22]
A
He want to go crazy. What is it the Serbian guy who was nasty? No. Something Petrovich.
- [41:30]
B
Oh. What was my man named?
- [41:32]
A
And then he passed away tragically or something like that.
- [41:35]
B
Yeah, he was crazy.
- [41:35]
A
But he was on the nets and he put up like a 40 ball.
- [41:38]
B
Look. Look what Thunder Dan is shooting from.
- [41:40]
A
Yeah. Nah, it was crazy.
- [41:41]
B
Hot logo.
- [41:42]
A
That's it. You know who else is dirty? Chris Mullen.
- [41:46]
B
Chris Mullen? Yeah, Chris Mullen. But see, this is the thing. They forget about these people because Steph does it more.
- [41:54]
A
It's the game changed also in that, like the three point shot wasn't as big a deal back in the day,
- [42:01]
B
but it was nasty.
- [42:02]
A
Yeah, he's filthy. Yeah, he's filthy.
- [42:05]
B
Thunder Dan was crazy, man. Chris Mullen was insane. Yeah, nasty.
- [42:09]
A
Nasty.
- [42:10]
B
I remember I went to his basketball
- [42:11]
A
camp in the city. Yeah. Really? Yeah, he's a city kid. He went to St. John's that's the
- [42:16]
B
single greatest team that never did nothing. That was assembled that never did because they. Coach messed them off, man. They. They had Golden State, had everybody, bro.
- [42:28]
A
It was. It was Chris Mullen. Was it Weber? But Hardaway.
- [42:33]
B
Hardaway. Chris Mullen. Hardaway. And they had a squad. The squad was insane, man. Coach, man.
- [42:41]
A
Why didn't anything happen with them?
- [42:43]
B
The coach. The coach, man. The coach. The coach sucked, man. Coach sucked.
- [42:47]
A
How'd you end up being a Knicks fan, man?
- [42:50]
B
Patrick Hewitt.
- [42:51]
A
But, like, came from Georgetown. But you were a big Georgetown fan.
- [42:54]
B
Yes. Who wasn't? That was black.
- [42:56]
A
That was black.
- [42:57]
B
So this is. My dad was a Georgetown fan. What was the.
- [43:01]
A
John Thompson. So John Thompson wouldn't. He wouldn't put white guys on the team.
- [43:06]
B
No, it just wasn't a white guy. This is what my racist ass uncles would say. It's all racist ass uncles would say.
- [43:18]
A
How is there a team in Washington, dc? There's no white place.
- [43:22]
B
Like Texas, Like West Texas?
- [43:25]
A
No, but it was Georgetown and like AI was there, man.
- [43:28]
B
Georgetown was crazy. And this is when. This is when you.
- [43:33]
A
And the jerseys were crazy, too. That was the best jersey.
- [43:36]
B
Was crazy. Remember the Starter Jackets?
- [43:38]
A
Yeah, yeah.
- [43:39]
B
Starter Jackets was insane. And this when Pat had the part down the middle.
- [43:44]
A
Look, the shave in it was.
- [43:47]
B
And then we was like. We was waiting to see where Pat was going. You know what I'm saying? Pat went to the Knicks. He was like, hell yeah. And then he had the Adidas. The Adidas that was.
- [43:55]
A
Oh, those high ass, like super chunky.
- [43:59]
B
Not his own shoes. The Ewings, when he had the first pair of Adidas, the orange and blue ones, the Knick colors. The first pair of Adidas was Nat. Like, look at Pat, man. At Georgetown.
- [44:12]
A
That's not the Georgetown jersey, though.
- [44:13]
B
The one that was gray, I don't know what that one is.
- [44:16]
A
It was like gray and black.
- [44:17]
B
There you go. Right?
- [44:19]
A
Yeah. John Thompson, my dad was a Georgetown fan too. Was that just like. It was a black thing? Yeah, because, like, Duke kind of felt like the white team or whatever. And then Georgetown felt like the black,
- [44:31]
B
even though Duke had some. Had some nasty. Like, it was. They had some nasty players over there. Duke has some nasty.
- [44:39]
A
Yeah. Grant Hill was filthy.
- [44:40]
B
Oh, was he? Fred Hill was.
- [44:45]
A
He's a guy like, if he doesn't have the ankle issues in the league, that's basically like LeBron before LeBron.
- [44:50]
B
My fondest memory of Grant Hill was TSU, Texas Southern University. Was in the. Was in the final, was in the tournament. And I Never forget number 55, whatever his name is. They up. I don't know why TSU is Up. They hit a Dude hit a three pointer and Grant Hill is kind of like coasting like, ah. You know, I ain't even did nothing yet. And literally, dude hit a shot and he's scooting back like, yeah. And I'm sitting there like, no, don't say nothing to him. Let Sleeping dog, man. And then the very next play, it's like, I don't know who threw this ball to Grand Hill, but he dunked like he can't. Like he fell from the rafters and dunked and swung over in front of the TSU cheerleaders. Was, y' all know I'm going to the league, right? And then went on some insane type of run like, yo, man, why are y' all messing with this, man?
- [45:53]
A
Oh, my God.
- [45:56]
B
Grand Hill was insane. He was insane with this box. Wow. Duke in Kansas. But just think, man, how many great players if Jay wouldn't have had the motorcycle accident. And if. If I beat Jay one on one. Real talk. And what basketball on the computer.
- [46:25]
A
Jay challenged me. He challenged me one on one and I had to beat him.
- [46:29]
B
This is a real thing, man. It's crazy.
- [46:32]
A
Unfortunately, I had to beat him. I mean, we had to meet.
- [46:36]
B
What J are we talking about?
- [46:37]
A
I showed up in the Maryland jersey. I took off the Maryland jersey. I'm in the North Carolina jersey. You gotta set the stage.
- [46:49]
B
What is going on here? What is really happening here? Look at this defense. I would cook you.
- [46:57]
A
Look at lockdown. Look at this lockdown. Lucky ass. Bank shot. Fuck outta here. Who is a bank shot from 12ft?
- [47:03]
B
Get out of here. I'm mad at Jay. Even sweating.
- [47:06]
A
He's like, you got to sweat against me. I'm up. Six four, mind you. Literally, I'm up. So I let him get back in the game. What did it start at? No, start at zero.
- [47:15]
B
Zero.
- [47:15]
A
I let him get back in. Let's just look at. Look at foul. That's offensive. Offensive foul. Listen, now he's just going straight to the cuff. He doesn't have confidence in the jumper anymore, Right? Because I took that away from him. Right? And the game gets.
- [47:31]
B
Because you see how you were just on your toes.
- [47:33]
A
But look at that. D is lockdown.
- [47:35]
B
He had a Mosaic accident.
- [47:37]
A
I'm exhausted. I'm so tired. I've never been this tired my entire life.
- [47:41]
B
But because you come. Cause you come up on your toes. That's when they cross all. I'm cook you look at. I'm in front of him, though. Look at him.
- [47:48]
A
And now he's crying about a Foul. This is my.
- [47:51]
B
This is my pain right here.
- [47:52]
A
You're not coming into it. Look at this.
- [47:54]
B
And I'm there and you there. Yeah, I'm giving you that. Give me that ball.
- [47:59]
A
Give me that ball. You screaming for heads. It's a real one on one game. You know, this is my ball. Jay's monologue right there.
- [48:08]
B
Come on, man.
- [48:09]
A
So Jay's trying to do some bullshit right here. Look at this. Push off. Look at this. Push off. There's some net. Look at this. Look at him push. Yo, you hacking him.
- [48:19]
B
Look at him. You're hacking. When do you get the ball?
- [48:22]
A
Yo, I'm yelling at them on the side. He touched the ball. Don't get out the. Out the way. Let me get that board.
- [48:32]
B
Okay. Why do you have on North Carolina shirt?
- [48:35]
A
Because I was trying to get his head. I showed up in Maryland and then North Carolina, his two biggest rivals. Oh, look how sweaty he is, man.
- [48:42]
B
Yeah, he, I, I give.
- [48:44]
A
I'm not falling for any pump fakes. Nothing. His shoes are breaking down. He wore stockings like he knew he was going to have a real war out there.
- [48:52]
B
Do you have what you have on your ankles?
- [48:54]
A
I got ankle braces. I'm playing against the NBA player. That was a lucky ass shot. This is, listen, this is where. This is where he gets a little bit too cocky. And one thing I always say is don't get cocky with me. You know what I mean? Be grateful. Be humble. You gotta be grateful. You gotta be humble. If you get cocky with me, horrible things could happen. So he gets a little cocky. He sees the cameras are out there and you know, he gets.
- [49:16]
B
He's never played in front of cameras.
- [49:17]
A
He never played in front of cameras anymore. And he gets back on the motorcycle. I told him, I said, don't get back on the bike. Oh, my God, look at what he tries to do to me. Disrespect me in front of my family. Look at each other. Look. First of all, I'm locked in. I know every move he's about to do. Throws it off my head and tries to pull up. Worst thing you ever did in your life. Oh, if he hit that, I knew I was gonna miss. I knew I was gonna miss. But hold on. I knew I was gonna miss. Hold on. I get the board.
- [49:51]
B
I get the board.
- [49:52]
A
And now I'm setting him up. Now I'm setting him up. Let me slow him down. Let me slow him down here. Boom. Sega, pull up. Now look at me looking at him right here. Look at me. Look at, Look at that. Look at that.
- [50:29]
B
Is the game over. It's game over.
- [50:31]
A
Game is seven.
- [50:32]
B
The game was to seven. What?
- [50:33]
A
That was. Of course, of course. Game over, bruh. That's it. Now I will say he gave me six points to start. So I just had.
- [50:45]
B
Then you grabbed.
- [50:46]
A
I got my trophy. Yeah, come on, dude.
- [50:49]
B
You need a trophy.
- [50:51]
A
That guy run. I don't know that.
- [50:52]
B
It was this guy in the back that's just working out.
- [50:54]
A
He just witnessed the greatest basketball game
- [50:56]
B
of his entire life on the treadmill.
- [50:59]
A
His kids are going to ask him for six points, so all he had to score was one. I just had to score one. He had to score seven.
- [51:05]
B
Yeah, yeah, but that was his.
- [51:07]
A
His rules, not mine. I. I wanted to play a straight up game.
- [51:11]
B
He took it to 66 on him. You got cooked, Jay.
- [51:14]
A
He got cooked.
- [51:15]
B
He said, I hate that for you, cuz. I'm telling you, if it's me and I'm playing against somebody, they give me six. We going to seven. I get the ball first. I'm cooking you. We're playing. I'm gonna take that win. I'm gonna take that win all day long.
- [51:29]
A
That's what I said.
- [51:30]
B
So hey, take the win. That's right. You brought these rules into it. Got nothing to do with me.
- [51:37]
A
I didn't ask for that.
- [51:38]
B
You almost lost, though. And I made it almost.
- [51:41]
A
I made it interesting. I understand television. I understand entertainment people in the game seven.
- [51:46]
B
I made the game seven.
- [51:47]
A
It had to be that. I agree.
- [51:52]
B
Great commentator, mean and charlamagne. It's ridiculous, man. It is so.
- [52:00]
A
That was the greatest sporting event I've ever witnessed. That was it. That was mine.
- [52:03]
B
That was it. Now it's mine.
- [52:08]
A
All right, guys, I'm gonna be honest with you. For a long time, I was running my health on vibes don't do that. I felt off. I just pushed through it. Tired all the time. That's just life. Something weird going on with my body. Probably nothing. I was out here doing full self diagnosis based on absolutely zero information. Like a toddler with a WebMD account. And the crazy part is that's most people. Most people have no idea what's actually happening inside their body. They just adjust, compensate, pretend. So here's the thing about summer. It exposes you. You're outside, you're moving, you're at barbecues, eating stuff you know, you shouldn't stay sweating through everything you own. And whatever your body has been quietly dealing with all year, it shows up. The fatigue hits different in the heat. Recovery takes longer than it should. You're exhausted after stuff that used to feel easy. And instead of asking why, most of us just go and keep going. But having it handled is not the same as knowing what's going on. Function gives you 160 plus lab tests a year. We're talking about magnesium, iron, hormones, all the markers that actually explain why you feel the way you feel when something's off. You see it. Not guess at it, not cope with it. You see it. And that's what actually knowing your body looks like. Wild concept. I know. So check your health the way that we do 160 plus lab tests a year for $365. That's a dollar a day. And stop guessing. Join@functionhealth.com Flagrant and use the code FLAGRANT25 for a $25 credit. Now let's get back to the show. Bluetooth did it, bro. They did it. They did it. They upgraded. They got Bluetooth gold. That boner's coming. 15 minutes or less. I could tell you all the info about it. It doesn't really matter to you. What matters to you is that you're hard in 15 minutes or less. All the other stuff we're talking about, like 30 minutes. A lot can happen in 30 minutes. A lot can happen. You don't even know if you're getting laid 30 minutes before you get laid, right? So now you're taking this pill. You don't even know what's going to happen 15 minutes before you get laid. You know 100% you're getting laid. So they did it. They knocked it out of the park. So that's what you're going to do all summer. You're very welcome. You buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third for free with the promo code flagrant. That promo code is flagrant. And you're also going to receive an additional 10% off free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit bluetooth.com for more details on and important safety information. We thank Bluechew for sponsoring the pod and the bedroom. So good, so good, so good.
- [54:51]
B
New markdowns up to 70% off are at Nordstrom Rack stores. Now. Stock up and save big on shoes, tops, dresses, accessories and more must haves for summer.
- [55:01]
A
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B
Shop new arrivals first and more. Plus, buy online and pick up at your favorite rack store for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack. I thought the Knicks was gonna win the championship. 94 this thing. I'm the only person in the whole Texas prison. That's going for the Knicks.
- [55:23]
A
Are they playing the games?
- [55:25]
B
Yeah, we watching the game on tv, like. And I am. We was doing well, and then we wasn't. And I remember when Houston won. And I'm coming into the cafeteria, it's like, I knew something was up because the cafeteria is always loud. It's like the cafeteria is quiet.
- [55:44]
A
Because they know what you're going through.
- [55:46]
B
No, they're waiting on me. Like, it's totally quiet. And I come around the corner, and as soon as I walk up the cafeteria, Even the people that was in lockdown, they were just oddly quiet. Like, you always talking. Why you just so quiet right now, waiting to get into this cavity? It was like a celebration that I suffered, that I. Man, it was crazy.
- [56:15]
A
They knew how much you were gonna talk.
- [56:17]
B
I was talking so reckless. I was talking reckless. But it ain't like that with the Cowboys. Like, in the 90s. I hated the Cowboy. I still hate the Cowboys. But when they would win, Cowboy fans, it was terrible. But when they would lose, so many shenanigans, so satisfying. Like, it's like, yo. And then this. When you know. When you know that you done got mad about something when you locked up and they. They rooting for somebody and you tell somebody, well, why don't you send Troy Aikman a commissary slip so he can send you some money? Since you love him so much, you just. You stump that. You know that's not gonna happen. Yeah, but you just so mad, man.
- [56:56]
A
What were the politics with watching sports in prison? Was there ever a situation where it's like, okay, these two games are on right now, and one group gets to decide which. Which game is watched.
- [57:08]
B
And you. You think that we have cable like that. It's one game that was ever playing on local tv.
- [57:14]
A
Is what you guys watching?
- [57:15]
B
Fair enough. You know, and when you in block, where they have three TVs in different pods, they have TV in each pod. So it's 3 TV, 3 pods, 3 TV. One TV is designated for Hispanics. That's their TV Telemundo. That's it. Then you have sports and all type of general stuff, but then you have the movie tv. Like, people when they're watching regular tv. Now, the crazy thing is Denise Austin would be on all three TVs in the morning.
- [57:50]
A
She's what, like a news reporter? She's a.
- [57:53]
B
No, she's a in. She's aerobic instructor.
- [57:57]
A
Hilarious.
- [58:01]
B
And then we couldn't wait till Kyle and they came on. It's the Only time that you see all the blacks watching Kyle and they in the Mexican
- [58:12]
A
going to affirm up the front of your thighs, the outer thighs, the back of our thighs, and your inner thighs. Just imagine a bunch of dudes in the morning watching. Not one of them doing aerobics, one
- [58:27]
B
of us doing aerobics. This is the greatest white woman of all time in prison. This is the greatest white woman that. This is. This is a savior in prison. Like. And this is recent. This is not really her most exotic outfit.
- [58:47]
A
This is tame.
- [58:48]
B
Yeah, this is very tame. She not even all the way tan just yet.
- [58:54]
A
You knew Denise's seasons.
- [58:56]
B
Yeah, but this Denise Austin was crazy.
- [58:59]
A
Oh, okay.
- [59:02]
B
Trying to tell you.
- [59:03]
A
Okay.
- [59:03]
B
Yeah, yeah. You see the tan, See the exotic picture? Pink outfit, golden locks, like you watching
- [59:13]
A
the tide coming in. I wonder if she knew how popular she was in prison.
- [59:17]
B
Goodness, she probably never did. But Denise Austin was amazing. Look how he's sitting.
- [59:24]
A
He's getting flashbacks right now.
- [59:26]
B
It's insane. It's like if you didn't. Like. I forget. I remember we was on lockdown one time and the TV came on and. And the CO came in and changed it from Denise Austin and we lost it.
- [59:42]
A
Ydj.
- [59:43]
B
We locked up just being mean.
- [59:45]
A
Oh, wow.
- [59:48]
B
He put it on like C Span, yo. We want to kill him.
- [59:54]
A
This was every morning?
- [59:55]
B
Yeah, just.
- [59:56]
A
Cause on the local channel.
- [59:57]
B
Yeah. This go. This channel eight.
- [59:59]
A
Wow.
- [59:59]
B
Like pbs. They. Denise. Awesome was insane. That's so funny.
- [60:03]
A
But would there ever just be random stuff on the tv? Like it would be like. Like a high school basketball championship. And you're like, all right, we're watching this now.
- [60:09]
B
High school basketball. I mean, this ain't LeBron. Eric wasn't showing no high school.
- [60:13]
A
Yeah, you're doing like. You got the news.
- [60:15]
B
Yeah.
- [60:16]
A
I imagine there's some sitcoms, though. You probably watch it.
- [60:19]
B
We watch that type stuff.
- [60:20]
A
But yeah.
- [60:21]
B
Did you just say. How old are you?
- [60:23]
A
I'm 29.
- [60:24]
B
Oh, no one. That's why you think high school was televised like that? That happened with LeBron.
- [60:29]
A
Yeah.
- [60:31]
B
Never a high school game ever watched on television before.
- [60:35]
A
What about like, in Texas, a high school football championship game? Not even that.
- [60:41]
B
It's not coming on tv.
- [60:43]
A
Cause that was huge.
- [60:44]
B
That's not coming on tv. Wow. Wow. That's. That's. You gotta go view that. You know, we was under that. That type of regime. You would view things with your naked eye, unlike.
- [60:55]
A
Unlike real life.
- [60:57]
B
Unlike people now. You know, we. We spend a significant amount of money on these shows to do yonder.
- [61:05]
A
To oh. Cause you don't want people on their phone.
- [61:07]
B
We don't want people on their phone.
- [61:08]
A
So you do that for every show.
- [61:09]
B
Every show.
- [61:10]
A
Every show that you do on the road, you're yondering it. Have you found a difference?
- [61:14]
B
Yeah.
- [61:14]
A
Really?
- [61:15]
B
People pay attention until you get to like, I think I've had doing the theaters. The worst thing about it is how people are conditioned to comedy now. You know, they condition to people doing crowd work. They condition to having seeing eight people before you come out. You know, they condition to these things. So they show up and then you have people who don't know you. They come in with somebody else or whatever. So they don't know that you do these long stories with these points and then they come and they. Or they condition to people doing their old stuff in front of New Orleans.
- [62:03]
A
But I would figure your audience by now is conditioned to like what you do.
- [62:07]
B
Nah, it's still. Really, it's still. Cause the audience is still building. And a lot of these people haven't seen me live.
- [62:13]
A
So they see one story on social media or something. They're like, I gotta go check that.
- [62:16]
B
And it was the craziest thing. This is the other thing that I think people are condition crazy for. It's people that have seen me on TikTok, it's people that have seen me on Instagram, people have seen me on Facebook. But they don't know there's a whole special because they watching clips.
- [62:34]
A
That is how most media is consumed
- [62:36]
B
now and not watching the whole special. Which is crazy to me. It's a crazy. I saw this. But you didn't see the whole story. So I don't, I don't get. Or somebody comment in a space and they don't know the whole story. You, you don't know the whole entire thing. You just comment on just this right here, which is. I don't know. I. I guess humans are declining at a rapid rate of. With, with a attention span.
- [63:06]
A
I think that's, that's possibly. I think it's definitely true. I also think that is like the one. I don't wanna say downfall, but like the one potential negative to having stuff on the different social media platforms is you don't know how long they're gonna consume of it and you don't know what parts of it they're gonna consume. Whereas like when we were younger, like I remember when Patrice's elephant in the room came out and like we had like a watch party for the shit, like we just sat down and watched it Like I remember, you know, even like listening to Delirious on cassette. And it was just like this one experience where we just sat down, me and my dad, and we just like listened to this audio cassette.
- [63:45]
B
It was social.
- [63:46]
A
Yeah. So there, so I think now like maybe there is a version. This really surprises me coming from you because I think you have such a specific style. I would think that there would be an expectation set up with the audience for that long form story, especially as you're doing the specials. Like there's going to be a cohesive theme in this. Like that's shocking to me that they're, or maybe you're growing at a rate where you have so many new people coming in.
- [64:15]
B
It's the new people that's probably it.
- [64:17]
A
Your OGs know what you're doing and they have the expectation for it.
- [64:21]
B
I can tell them because it's the people that's on time. These people know that. Cause you need the whole story. I got one person that's coming out in front of me doing 15 or 20 and then I'm coming to do an hour and a half.
- [64:37]
A
I, I, I think that this is something that's kind of like missed a bit. Like when we do the show,
- [64:44]
B
you,
- [64:45]
A
I think everybody has to decide what that amount of time is. But for me I think that like hour 15, maybe hour 30, I think is like a real nice amount of time. But I mean that for the whole show, like if you're doing an hour 30, I think it's smart you don't have four guys going for you. Because by the time you go up, these people, let's say they're already drinking or doing something like that. They're an hour into the show and then you're gonna do another hour 30. Yeah, I don't think that's the best experience for the people that came.
- [65:14]
B
So certain places I do by myself. Like when I come to New York, when I'm at the Beacon, it's just me, no other person. You know, when I'm in Atlanta, just me, Detroit, it's like Chicago, just certain spots. I'm just doing just me because I want the whole entire time. Now when I have somebody, it's crazy for, let me say the last three, four shows, right, I witnessed somebody coming in like I was in Miami. How do you come in? And I look at the clock, I just look at the clock. I'm at 57 minutes. How do you come in at a show and I'm at 57 minutes? But in your mind you think, oh, it's gonna be other people, and then we'll catch him at the end. And somebody came. I'm 45 minutes in, and they in the front. I have the room dark, pitch black spotlight for a reason, not because I want to. I don't want to be distracted by people with all of movement, you know what I mean? I want the room totally still like a play. Cause I'm not doing slapstick form. I'm not doing punchline setup punchlines. That's not what I'm doing. So I'm doing. I'm taking people on another ride. So I have to have the full attention. So I lock the phones up.
- [66:39]
A
But don't. I wouldn't, like, undercut yourself. You do have a lot of punchlines and you do have a lot of jokes. It's not. There are certain people who I think you're not doing in a traditional, like, here's my setup misdirect. But you're not one of the guys that doesn't have jokes built in. And I think, yeah, I. I just don't want you to describe yourself in a way that's maybe not. Not as elite, I think, as. As you are. There are guys who are doing long form, and it's kind of like stand up, but also like storytelling. And there's a lower expectation for funny, I think, for that.
- [67:15]
B
When I. When I see some people's what they call storytelling, I just be sitting there like.
- [67:22]
A
And again, it's like, I'm not. I'm not trying to knock anybody, but it's like, there is a way to tell stories and also have them be hilarious.
- [67:28]
B
Yeah, I kind of figured that part
- [67:31]
A
out, I think so. Have you ever had someone interrupt in a moment of the story that's really important for tension? Like, have you ever, like, been building up specifically? And you're like, I'm about to come into, like, this really important part, and then someone it up. I feel like it happened in a special. That one lady that called out.
- [67:48]
B
Yeah, she was being disruptive. What was that? Monday's right. She was being disruptive before I even got to it. So it had nothing to do with what I was doing. She was drunk and got into it with her husband. Oh, wow. So in this, while we taping the specials.
- [68:08]
A
Come on, dude.
- [68:08]
B
I went back and started over from where I was at. And we put that clip out. You didn't see it in the actual special, but we put that clip out. Cause I wanted to keep it. I'm like, yo, keep that part just for content. But I've had the spotlight guy mess up. What happened?
- [68:32]
A
He got one job, bro.
- [68:33]
B
Like, one.
- [68:34]
A
He got one job.
- [68:37]
B
I think he was too engulfed in the story and forgot not thinking I'm a move. He thinking, like, he just, like. He just took his hand off. Like, what? And then when I went over here and I stopped him, like, yo, I need you over here for this part.
- [68:55]
A
Like, I was listening. This is your fault.
- [69:01]
B
So it's been. You know, it's been times where. Or somebody would try to holler out something before I would say it.
- [69:08]
A
Right.
- [69:09]
B
But you don't know what I'm going to. Going to say. You don't know the story, so. And I would say, no, that's. And then I. You know, sometimes I stop and just. I don't like doing crowd work. But I'm very, very good. I've been good at it from. I want to. I'm gonna do us. I'm gonna do a show. What I'm gonna show, and I'm gonna call it. This is so easy. It's the easiest thing. It's like, if I come out doing crowd work, that means I don't want to perform.
- [69:40]
A
Right?
- [69:41]
B
Like, I have, like, in my mind, I don't want to do it. So I'm like, all right, but you
- [69:46]
A
shouldn't do it if you don't want to.
- [69:47]
B
No, this is the thing of how easy this is. Like, when I used to host, you know, I'm coming out. I know I'm gonna say this, but I'm not really getting into no material. Cause I'm setting the room up for somebody else. It's not for me.
- [69:59]
A
Right, Right.
- [70:00]
B
You know what I'm saying? But I can see how these guys, like, man this crowd. I say, so this is funny that the crowd work guys. Nobody is blaming anybody for stealing their material. Cause what is the material? So y' all together?
- [70:16]
A
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- [70:17]
B
Well, you were a guy. Yeah, I know y' all messing around, and I'm like, it all starts the same. It's no unique way to style. Look at this shirt. What is the. So nobody's stealing. This is nobody stealing. I would love to see the dude come back in the room.
- [70:37]
A
Like, I asked him what his shirt looked like. Yeah, yeah, I hear you.
- [70:43]
B
Look at him. Look at him out there stealing material, asking people where they work at.
- [70:47]
A
Yeah, he did my. How'd you guys meet? Thing. Yeah, I will say that. Like, guys who. Guys like, Patrice is a very different type of, in my opinion, crowd work. Because it's not like hey, what do you guys got going on? It's. I'm gonna impose my will and my line of thinking on you, and you were a vessel for that, right? So it's like, you might actually be giving me friction, right? And that is a useful tool within this design. Like, this is how I feel about the world, and I'm putting it on you. You work at a car dealership. Like, okay, who gives a fuck if you work at the car dealership? You know what I mean? But I think there are different. I think you see a lot of, like, crowd work slop on the Internet, and you're just like, what the fuck is going on here? But, like, when I think of. When I think of, like, you know, guys who are, like, really good and, like, elite at it, it's this interesting way of, like, almost, like, setting up the audience and, like, baiting them into something that kind of already exists. DL's nice at it.
- [71:50]
B
DL was the. DL was the pinnacle of it. Him, Robin Harris, and they would get ridiculed for while they got his crowd work, right? So this is another era of comedy. Of this, like. And who else was good at it was Joe Torre. You know what I'm saying? Joe Torrey was good at crowd work, but that was. The ridicule was all they had was crowd work. So they developed a long show. But DL would take the last 10 minutes of his show, and he would do the whole front row and just mess with people. And the craziest thing, that he would take all these people, go through all this stuff, and then tie the last one into the first one, and you'd be like, that's. That's a. It's amazing.
- [72:44]
A
It's magical. There's levels to shit. That's what I'm saying. Like, there's levels of storytelling. There's levels to all different parts of the craft. And I think the most, like, elite versions, you start to, like, blend all these things together. And when it becomes this, like, seamless blend, you know, like, for example, like, impressions. Like, I love, like, hearing impressions. I think it's like, I. Like, if you did an impression right now, I'd be like, tell me more. Keep doing it. But I don't. I'm like. I don't, like, consider it, like, elite, stand up. Like, it's. You know what I mean? It's just, like, a sound.
- [73:16]
B
What? But so my. This is my. Glad you said it, because.
- [73:22]
A
But let me say, if you can do the impressions and there's a joke in the impression, or you're creating this, like, this amazing world where there are these like. Like, Greer Barnes is one of my favorite to watch, and he can build these worlds. I'm like, the impression is just a tool in this magical thing that you just built for these people. That, to me, I'm like, okay, that's stand up. But if you're on one of these, like, cruise ships or something like that, or you go see these, like, you know, and it's just like, here's what Bill Clinton sounds like. Here's what Christopher Walken sounds like. Here's what Trump sounds like. It's like, if I hear another fucking
- [73:57]
B
Trump impression, it's like, so the impression thing, to me, if you doing impressions of somebody that I don't know, and you can get me engulfed in it. Like, you say you doing your uncle. I've never heard your uncle before. And then you do an impression on me, then later on I actually see some of your uncle. I'm like, yo, he had it spot. He had his uncle spot on.
- [74:19]
A
Yes.
- [74:20]
B
But if you doing Denzel from Training Day.
- [74:23]
A
Exactly.
- [74:24]
B
It's like, I hate you.
- [74:25]
A
Yeah.
- [74:26]
B
Because, like, Denzel was in a lot of movies. Why is it just. Why is it the only one you doing this?
- [74:31]
A
I'm not even upset if you do Denzel Train Day. But, like, what is the. What is the joke?
- [74:35]
B
It's just you doing Denzel and Training Day or you doing Bernie Mac. It's like when somebody does Jay Z and they do. What's wrong with current Jay Z? I ain't heard Jay Z do that. I ain't heard him do that laugh, like, but twice. But Jay Z never said nothing else. Yeah, it's like you, You. You keeping them in this frame because that's the only. Like, Ll when the last time LL l licked his lips. You know what I'm saying? Like, why is that the. I mean, I watched him on. In it.
- [75:04]
A
On.
- [75:05]
B
What's the show that he owned. I watched him on csi. He never lick his lips on there.
- [75:09]
A
Yeah, yeah.
- [75:11]
B
Like, so it's like you. It's. It's like you kind of. It's like you cheating the game.
- [75:19]
A
You're saying. It's like there's almost like a shared impression.
- [75:22]
B
It's everybody doing the same joke.
- [75:24]
A
Like, I see everybody doing an impression of Shane's Trump. Yeah. Like, Shane Gillis did this Trump impression, and it kind of feels like everybody's just doing their version of his impression.
- [75:36]
B
And that's. And that's one of the. That's one of the downfalls and standups up that being original in stand up has become non existent because somebody. See, this is the thing you can
- [75:50]
A
recreate so much quicker because you're seeing things on the Internet constantly.
- [75:53]
B
It's. But the desire, though, the desire to do. To see you make it. To see you make it at something. You get some followers or something, you go viral or something. That doesn't. My desire is not to do. To recreate what you did in my. In my voice. It's that stuff, man.
- [76:13]
A
Ollie. We're gonna have a long discussion about this, my friends, because not everybody's desire is to do great art. Some people's desire is just to be successful at a thing, and then they see what's successful and they just repeat what is successful.
- [76:25]
B
And that's the. That's the crazy coming from being a. This is how I know that these guys are not students of comedy. Because there was one Carol Burnett, there was one Don Rickles, there was one Carlin, there was one prior, there was one Cosby. Nobody was saying, I'm gonna do my rendition of Redd Fox. I'm doing my own. I'm doing my own thing. And everybody had their own voice. And they make their voice. They made their bones in their voice. Now when I can sit back and you sound just like this person or you doing something, this person, you're doing exactly what they did.
- [77:04]
A
Yeah.
- [77:04]
B
You know what I'm saying? That's. That's. It may be the. I'm the old man in the group that don't like, yo, what is what? Okay, when do you find your voice? When do you find who you are?
- [77:17]
A
Takes time. You probably went through that. Takes time to find it.
- [77:20]
B
But the thing is, like, I'm not in a rush. I wasn't in a rush. I just had that, I guess, because I started with about to be 29 years. For me, you know, they're doing stand up. So how I started is different. Even the level of respect is different.
- [77:36]
A
There's a thing that's happened. I think that. And the Internet has probably like, expedited this. But when I was coming up in standup, all the best guys, maybe outside of like a few outliers, were old. There were guys in there probably 40s, 50s, like, these were older. You know, I'm starting in my 20s, so the expectation when I was starting was, it takes 10 years to even know your voice. That was the thing, like comics would always say when you ask advice, right? Be like, well, how do I find my voice? Or whatever it is. And like, your voice essentially is like, what is unique about you and what you want to talk about? And like, why are you different?
- [78:14]
B
Yeah.
- [78:15]
A
And I think what's happened with the Internet is like, not only with comedy, which is like fucking seeing people on vacation. It just looks like everybody's living this great life. And I think you'll hear a lot of comics who are like, oh, I gotta do crowd work to make it. It's like, you don't gotta do nothing. You could just do what you wanna do. Find your. Like, why are you sad? Like, why are you whining? You see all these comics whining like, oh, I gotta do crowd.
- [78:35]
B
You don't gotta do nothing.
- [78:36]
A
If you don't wanna do that, don't do it. If you do wanna do it, then do it.
- [78:41]
B
This is last night. I gotta go on tour. Like, what is a tour? I think a lot of comics are sad and judging their career based upon things that's not really happening.
- [78:53]
A
Ooh, what do you mean by that?
- [78:55]
B
Oh, so let's dive into it. And I do this, and I do this subconsciously. When I look at somebody doing something and I just say, well, let me see actually what it is that's really happening. Not for myself to explain this to somebody who I know that's gonna come to me and talk about, well, I gotta go on tour. And then I was like, well, like, who? Like, give me a person. And then they would give. I would look at people like, well, okay, so let me give you a person. You think this person's on tour because they put up a bunch of dates. Okay, put up a bunch of dates. But you didn't read these dates. You didn't read where these dates were at, you know what I'm saying? So somebody just going on bars, just all bars. It's really, Just really mics.
- [79:35]
A
Yeah.
- [79:36]
B
Glorified over Mike. And they doing it in different places. They just going to do anything. They put it on their schedule. Okay. Then you had these guys who put all these tour dates up. And then I'm thinking, I'm supporting a friend. Let me go see what they doing. I go to the club that they're doing and it's not their name, it's somebody else's name. They're opening, but they're opening for their person, but they putting that on as their tour dates, you know what I'm saying? Or somebody have a bunch of one nighters and they putting it on as a tour. I get it, man. The fake it till you make it thing. But that's not a tour. Touring is a lot different than what my boy. He got a delay. Got a very good understanding of what touring was. Delay. Like, yo, I went out with this person and I sat in that city for three days and I did the comedy club with him. Then I went on the road with Ali. We did four different places in three days. I'm exhausted. I was like, oh, so you thought I was staying here? No, I'm in Chicago, then I'm in Cleveland, then I'm in Pittsburgh, right? And we doing, we have a sound check and we have a run and then we back downstairs at 3:30 to go catch another flight. And he's like, oh, no, no, this is insane. He said, I slept for two days after I was out. I'm like, yeah. Cause it's not the same. You're trying to touring. And I'm like, well, how long you been doing it? And that lady told me six years. I said, what are you rushing for? Like, what's the rush? You thinking? Well, the class of comics that I'm in, what's this class of.
- [81:13]
A
The feeling is that you see your peers and they're excelling and maybe something is working for them on social media. So like, you need to do it right in that moment as well. And I think there's a little bit something is lost now that we had maybe when I definitely had when I was younger. I'm sure you also had it, which is like, like this is a marathon of a career and it's going to take you a long time to achieve your dreams. I mean, I was doing comedy 17 years before I did Madison Square Garden. You know what I mean? Like 17 years and I still ain't
- [81:42]
B
did Madison Square Garden. And I've been doing it 29 years.
- [81:46]
A
I think you got a garden, man. I think you easily got a garden in you.
- [81:49]
B
Oh, how many people you hold?
- [81:51]
A
I mean, there's a couple different arrangements. You can get 18,000 in there, man.
- [81:55]
B
Yeah, hopefully.
- [81:56]
A
All right, guys, take a break for a second. According to cnbc, nearly half of hiring managers say a candidate's enthusiasm about the job is the most important factor when considering them for a role. Well, if you need to hire for your business, how can you separate the candidates who are really excited about your opportunity from the ones that are just meh. Ziprecruiter is how you're going to do that. ZipRecruiter has a new feature that quickly lets you see the most interested, qualified candidates first so you meet the right people faster. And now you can try for free@ziprecruiter.com Flagrant ZipRecruiter's new feature puts the most interested qualified candidates at the top of your list. ZipRecruiter smart matching technology connects you with the qualified candidates instantly. No wonder ZipRecruiter is the number one rated hiring site based on G2. Use ZipRecruiter and find enthusiastic talent fast. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first try. And now you can try it for free@ziprecruiter.com flagrant that's ziprecruiter.com flagrant meet your match on ziprecruiter all right guys, for years protein bars have been the quick go to snack. You want that protein boost, but finding one that delivers real protein without excess calories and sugar has been nearly impossible. Most bars contain around 15 grams of protein while packing through it, plus calories and loads of sugar. That formula stayed the same for decades until now. Introducing David, a protein bar that redefines what's possible. David delivers 28 grams of protein and just 150 calories with zero sugar. David is giving your body what it actually needs without the unnecessary fillers and they are now available at Walmart. With 40% more protein, 50% fewer calories than the leading protein bars, David offers a superior science backed protein boost that doesn't compromise on taste. David it's not just another protein bar. David is the future of protein. Perfect for the gym, on the go or anytime you want. Maximum efficiency from your nutrition listeners can buy four cartons and get the fifth for free at davidprotein.com flagrant or you can find David nationwide at Walmart near you. Be sure to check out the four packs of salted peanut butter and blueberry pie exclusively sold in Walmart stores. Now let's get back to the show. Study and play come together on a Windows 11 PC and for a limited time, college students get the best of both worlds. Get the unreal college deal everything you need to study and play with select Windows 11 PCs. Eligible students get a year of Microsoft 365 Premium and a year of Xbox game Pass ultimate with a custom color Xbox wireless controller. Learn more@windows.com student offer while supplies last ends June 30 terms at aka Ms. College PC. Anyway, the point being is like there's different iterations of it sure, but like there it feels like there's this immense pressure that like especially young comics have to do what is working not do what. What they should be doing and what would make them feel fulfilled comedically. And maybe we didn't have that. Cause there was less opportunities when we were coming up.
- [85:12]
B
It was a lot of opportunities.
- [85:14]
A
Nah.
- [85:15]
B
What's the opportunity that's now that we didn't have then the Internet. That's it.
- [85:20]
A
That's the biggest opportunity. Like this is the greatest thing.
- [85:24]
B
It was all the. Most of the greats didn't start on the Internet.
- [85:27]
A
By opportunities I meant like there was a few HBO specials. Maybe a year you had like a handful of Comedy Central half hours. Wasn't the goal for some people.
- [85:37]
B
No. For you it wasn't a mass majority of comics. That wasn't the goal. The goal was to be great comedians. Because you can make a lot of money. Before the special. You can make a lot of money. It was people that I saw in comedy clubs that were making. I'd never seen them on tv. I saw them in the comedy club.
- [85:56]
A
So this is.
- [85:57]
B
The expectation was different that people was actually going to the club. Built the market. Like, you know, that to get in this club you had to be funny. So everybody I was going to see was gonna be funny. It's not like now to where now with whoever being marketed. Yes, the club has. No, I'm. We just trying to sell some liquor and some chicken wings. Whatever this person's doing, whatever audience they're bringing in here. I don't care if it's a magician, I don't care what it. But it's like some clubs just wasn't opening their doors for people that weren't elite.
- [86:40]
A
And these are the clubs that to this day are the best clubs in the country.
- [86:45]
B
Yeah. And that's the thing.
- [86:46]
A
They built a community. They have an audience. And there's like Comedy Works in Denver is one like Salt Lake City wise guys like side splitters in Tampa. There's one in that I'm messing up with right now. But like in. In Wisconsin.
- [87:01]
B
What?
- [87:01]
A
Comedy on State. Comedy on State.
- [87:03]
B
Comedy on State.
- [87:04]
A
There's one in Alabama. Star Dome or whatever.
- [87:06]
B
Do.
- [87:06]
A
Do you ever do that?
- [87:07]
B
I've done the Star Dome.
- [87:08]
A
Star Dome. Like so there were these like iconic clubs that the club curated great talent so people could expect to go see it. And then there was the factories that essentially just like, I'm bringing somebody to fill the whole room. And next week nobody might be in this room. These people aren't coming for the brand of the venue.
- [87:27]
B
They just a venue. It's like. And I get it. But then you like, well, I Came up in Just Joking Comedy Cafe in Houston. To come to Just Joking, you had to have it because the host had it.
- [87:42]
A
You gotta think, same host every night.
- [87:44]
B
No, over the different years, the host, like you had Arnaz J. Was one of the hosts. Then you had Lester. Biz was one of the hosts. Then you had Bruce was one. Earthquake was one of. It's like the host set the tone. Like, man, you can't come in here and the host is crazy. And to get on this stage, man, you gotta be. You gotta have it. And I remember sitting like, just Joking is one of my fondest memories. Cause Rodney is a guy named Rodney Winfield. He a great comic out of St. Louis. Wore a sailor's cap. And I'm talking about really, really good comic. And he would sit on the edge of the bar, and when you would come off stage, if he liked you, he would say something to you. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, man. He's on Def Jam Rap. Rodney was like, yeah, man, and you gotta hear his voice. Cause I'm finna do it. This is my favorite. Like, I don't do a lot of impressions, but this was writing it. You would get off the stage and if he liked you, he'd say something to you. You come off stage and he like, let me tell you something. Ah, tonight you are horrible. And then you would, you would. Every night. I remember the night that I got a compliment from him. The night I got a compliment, I came on stage, he was like, about God damn time. You, I'm talking about, man, tonight you are amazing. I'm talking about. Everything you did was perfect. It was stellar. One problem, got one problem. I was like, what? I did all that shit in 1974. Then get your own goddamn bar attacked by the devil.
- [89:42]
A
Oh, that's a good impression.
- [89:43]
B
Supposed to be scary. They didn't have a nurse in the show with white folks, they'd be passing up, oh, the devil in there eating popcorn. Get the devil Exorcist. But Rodney, his most famous joke when he was on, he was on the movie talking dirty at the Dog with Martin and all them great movie, black movie. You. You should see it. Makes me cry when I think about
- [90:15]
A
it's not Armageddon. It ain't Armageddon, bro.
- [90:18]
B
It's a black Armageddon. We need about ugly people. He's about ugly people all run the same. You know, you follow ugly person home, I guarantee another ugly person gonna answer the door. But he, man, he would. He would just. He would just rip you Every time if he liked you because he wanted you to get better, you know, they don't. You don't get. You don't have that experience in stand up anymore. But it's comics. Comics that out now that I told them that they was terrible. And I did. When they was. When they was young, I was like, yo, man, this is the worst damn thing I've ever seen. And then. But. But I'm trying to get you. If you think that you good at 3 years your career not gonna be as long as you think it is. Because you. You don't. You think that this. It's no other place to go.
- [91:12]
A
Yep.
- [91:13]
B
It's like I say, like, Ali, when did you. I'm in the interview. Do say, when did you know you was funny? I said, I'm still trying because I'm still trying to get better. I'm still. I'm like. Not that I support him all the time, but. Cause he be on some bullshit sometime. I'm like, Floyd Mayweather, he still go to train. And as a boxer, you start the same way. It's. No, you don't go in and start other way. You start jabbing. You know what I'm saying? The same. You do the same one. Steph Curry, I'm still shooting this many. Jordan Kobe, still working out the same way. Even after having championship, after having rings.
- [91:49]
A
Yeah.
- [91:51]
B
If you already satisfied with what you are.
- [91:54]
A
Yeah. You can't.
- [91:55]
B
You'll never get. You'll never get. Somebody told you that you was great at eight years. Wow.
- [92:02]
A
There's a. Wow. I think that one of the tricky things now with like early success in any endeavor, but like definitely in standup is that sometimes the audience can decide who you are before you get to find out who you are.
- [92:20]
B
And then.
- [92:20]
A
And that was one of the advantages that we definitely have, which is like, just do stand up in obscurity for years. So you have a choice whether to find out who you are. And then hopefully by the time the audience finds you, you're kind of solidified in who you are, what you want to do, how you want to push yourself. And that's harder. That's hard. Like, if you're three years in and like the whole world is coming for you and they want to see it, there's probably an expectation built up in you to go, oh, I'm going to deliver them this. And I. I think. I don't know. At least for me, like, one of the things I've always tried to do is like, every time I did something I Want to do something different the next time. And it scares me. And I think I suck at it initially when I start and I'm like, okay, that's good. At least I'll work hard on this and try to get better instead of trying to, like, repeat the thing that I just did before. But that's my own little.
- [93:13]
B
You know, I remember when I. When I was in the clubs, I was doing. If I do six shows, I'm doing six different shows.
- [93:20]
A
That's just insane. I hate it when they tell me these things.
- [93:24]
B
No, that's just the real. Then I would do the specials. I would get ready to start doing the specials, and I would have to run it. But I'm already on tour, so I'm saying it everywhere. And it would. It would just irritate me that I would have to do the same show.
- [93:47]
A
Really?
- [93:48]
B
You got to run it. And I would explain to people how better I am when I'm not running the same thing. Just let me think about it, know that it has to happen. And then when we get ready to shoot the special, then I'll be ready. But you didn't run it. You gotta run it. So I didn't run. I ran Domino Effect, the first one. I didn't run two. I never ran two, like, at all, period. I did it that day. I didn't run three. I ran four in pieces, but I never ran it altogether. My father. I never ran it.
- [94:39]
A
This is the most recent one. The scary coming out.
- [94:41]
B
My father. I never ran. My Two Sons. I didn't run. I ran rugged. I didn't run Mondays. And out of all those specials, I only wrote one down. Was the first domino effect.
- [95:00]
A
Is there. But isn't there a part of you that, like, when you're, quote, unquote, running it, you're finding other jokes in it, you're finding other things in it. Like, naturally, you talk about a topic with your buddies for a month, you're gonna find other angles. You're gonna get a deeper understanding of how you feel about it. Like, don't you find value in running something?
- [95:21]
B
That's when I was doing six different shows. Cause I'm going out and I'm talking from different perspectives of what I've done.
- [95:28]
A
You would touch on similar topics, at least they would just be different. And that's where you're starting to organize the thoughts.
- [95:33]
B
Organize the thoughts. Got it. Okay.
- [95:35]
A
It's not just. I'm gonna go up and talk about something I've never talked about before. You might have hit it from different angles, but upon taping, you're like. This is the fleshed out version. After touching these topics for a while.
- [95:47]
B
Yeah, but with, like. With the domino effects, I never had to run it because they couldn't. It was nothing else for me to find any, because I was telling the story right. You know what I'm saying? So with my father, I mean, with my two sons, nobody could help me with it. Cause I'm just telling the story about what's happening with me and my two sons.
- [96:06]
A
Not help you with it. You help yourself.
- [96:08]
B
No, like, you tell me something for a month.
- [96:10]
A
By the end of the month, I know you. You're gonna have 20 other jokes about it.
- [96:15]
B
That's the thing. I just wanted to tell their story with me narrating it. Generally, there's, like, no additives to it.
- [96:24]
A
Right.
- [96:25]
B
So rugged. I ran rugged. That's how I got the other little nuggets in it. Because, like, what you saying. But with my father, My father, which is the recent one that's getting ready to come out, it is just an account of me and my dad. And if I talked about a part of it with, like, Marcus mostly, or Dave, I would remember something else to add to it. Like what you're saying. I'm like, oh, oh, he did do this part.
- [96:52]
A
What about the opening? Without giving away too much, but, like, the opening of the special, Right? Like, the first thing that you said, which I think was really funny, I don't want. I mean, people probably will have seen it now. Or we can give a little away.
- [97:05]
B
It hasn't came out yet. No. Meaning.
- [97:08]
A
Okay.
- [97:08]
B
Yeah.
- [97:08]
A
Yeah. All right. So the opening, which is this great. This great thing about, like, you. You learned you became a good man or whatever because of your dad, but not because you did what he did, because you did the opposite of what he did. Is that design. Like, are you going into that day going, I'm gonna open up on this line?
- [97:29]
B
Yes.
- [97:30]
A
Because that feels to me like the opening of a special and a tone set for what they're gonna experience.
- [97:36]
B
And that's coming off of a conversation about my mom feeling like. Like she was. Oh, I'm. I'm. He's a good guy. Like, no.
- [97:49]
A
What'd you say? You're like, I'm responsible because of that.
- [97:52]
B
I'm responsible because of my mother. But I didn't want to be like him. Like, I thought about it, but the whole entire thing, the funniest thing to me still is, you know, I know karate. It's like, somebody said it to me In a meet and greet that saw doing what we permitted. And I laughed like, they. I don't know if they thought that that was gonna happen. So I was like, we taking pictures, taking pictures. And then the dude and he called my name, and I turned, I was like, what's up? He said, you know I know karate, right? And I laughed. So I laughed for like, the next five people. And I'm doing the me green. I'm still laughing. I'm like, my daddy know. He know no damn cry. But just the fact that he would say it. But who's going to challenge him? He's 63 and he wore boots. Gave him an extra piece. And he was like. He was. My dad was. When I think about him, he's nuts, man. And I hope that this special helps people kind of whatever their father was or wasn't. You know, if he was great, that you celebrate the greatness of him. You know what I'm saying? More if he was not so great, you celebrate the parts that you did get from him. You know, Like I say in the special, my father, I don't say he's a bad father. He just wasn't ideal. He wasn't what I saw on tv. You know, it gave me this ideology of what a father's supposed to be. He was just who he was. And the understanding of that. I'm not gonna carry around this baggage of why, well, why you didn't do this with me or why, you know, I never. I do things with my kids now that never happened in my childhood. And I think that's the elevation and the wealth of information that I'm giving them. I'm giving them a different experience in life than what I had. And as a parent, I think that's what my job is. I've never in the history of me been on vacation with my dad or with my parents. The first time I ever went on vacation with my mom, I'm the one taking her with my family. We're going. Hey, we're going to. On this vacation. Cause I want to experience this as an adult being out on vacation with my mom and my mom. And I got mad at my mom. Cause she was. I would be looking for. My aunt's there, right? My aunt. And this is another special that I don't want to give too much away, because this is another special that I shot. I know you gonna hate this. I know you gonna hate this. You want me to tip something and I know you gonna hate this, right? So I'm doing this show in Tysons in Tysons, Virginia.
- [100:55]
A
I can't wait till you paralyze your esophagus and you can't talk for two years. And I'm gonna call you on FaceTime like you just got back to the fucking banquet hall in prison. And the Knicks lost,
- [101:08]
B
so we shot four specials in two days.
- [101:12]
A
Wow.
- [101:12]
B
And the family vacay. Family vacay is my favorite one of the four. Family vacay is insane. Cause I'm. It's this story about when I broke my clavicle and I'm on vacation. I got all of my. My family with me. And so in the. What happened? I didn't even put this in budget, but whatever. My aunt and my sister are on vacation, Jack. Do you understand what I'm saying? They are vacationing. Like, I'm seeing my sister. My sister's horseback riding. She doing my aunt. My aunt. They are vacationing. You know what I'm saying? Like, it is a lot of margaritas. It is like, folks are kicking it.
- [101:54]
A
Yeah.
- [101:55]
B
And I'm like, yo, what? My mom and my aunt, like, in the hotel room watching Lifetime. I'm enraged. I'm enraged. Like, man, we in Cabo, we had this very nice resort. It's very, very nice. And I spent all this money, and you are in the house watching Lifetime
- [102:17]
A
doing the same shit you would do
- [102:18]
B
back on me, right? I am enraged. Go up to the room. I'm like, yo, man, what's going on with you? My mom has on a outfit that she bought from the gift shop. My mama got dressed up to watch Lifetime. I was like, yo, man, are you crazy right now? It's like, I'm gonna come out there. I just wanna finish watching this, yo. I wanna have them people take this TV outta here.
- [102:47]
A
You became your parent.
- [102:49]
B
I'm gonna request.
- [102:49]
A
You became the parent, though.
- [102:51]
B
I'm gonna request him to take the TV8, man. Take the TV out. I'm gonna steal the batteries for the remote. Something gotta happen. You need to enjoy the sun, yo. Like, what are we doing? And then she came out there and she did something with my son. They ate pizza or something by the beach, but he got sand. Like, he's been on the beach. He got sand all in his pizza. Like, I like to see my family having a good time. Like, I think that's what I worked for, you know what I'm saying? For them to have yo man do whatever. And I don't want to make no decisions when I'm like, when I go on vacation. I was on another podcast the guy asked me about my mental health. Like, how do you maintain mental health? I said, vacation. And when I go on vacation, yo, July through the second week of August, I am off. And you talking about if you ran into me, you wouldn't even think I was a comedian. That's how off I am. Like, I don't want to talk about comedy. I don't want to. I introduce you. I introduce. I see you knowing you and know that you do something. I introduce you as my name in order. Hey, how you doing? I'm Sadiq Nasir Ali. How you doing, brother? There wouldn't be no Ali, Zeke. I was like, I don't even want you to know. I do stand up. Like, get away from me. I don't even want to hear anything about. Oh, man, I saw you on this. I act like I'm not even that person.
- [104:16]
A
Nope.
- [104:17]
B
Like, what?
- [104:17]
A
Interesting.
- [104:18]
B
I said, man, a lot of people tell me I look like him in Torch Tory Lane. I get a mystical every once in a while.
- [104:28]
A
You don't want that.
- [104:29]
B
I'm like, man, I don't want Corey Lane either.
- [104:31]
A
I don't want.
- [104:32]
B
Why you keep comparing me to criminals? And so I remember this lady talking about, do you see the resemble. You resemble Prince to me. I was like, no, ma', am. You reaching.
- [104:49]
A
What are you drinking, man? Cause I want it. You are. Wait, so you're going someplace in July then?
- [104:54]
B
Oh, what?
- [104:55]
A
Where are you going?
- [104:56]
B
Oh, man, see, you trying to give up my location. I'm going. We going three different places. And, man, I am. It's water. Water than hot place. Look, water, water than a hot place. And I am so ready.
- [105:15]
A
Can you get the continent? Are you going Central South Backpack?
- [105:19]
B
Like, I don't want to have anything but a backpack. Like, yo, I want all my pictures. They looking at all my pictures. Like, yo, he had on the same swim. I just watched him out when I went to sleep. Like, man, I'm trying to go have me some fun.
- [105:34]
A
Do you leave your phone or you bring your phone with you for.
- [105:37]
B
Only for information. Like, I don't post anything. Like, I be out, right? I don't wanna. I don't wanna be a part of what's going on. Like, I just wanna be a part of vacation. I wanna. I don't wanna make no decisions. I don't wanna be on the schedule. Oh, we gotta go to lunch at this time. I know y' all go. I don't. I don't wanna do that. I want to because that's not a vacation. It's like, if you start scheduling things, hey, man, it's like, I don't wanna do none of that.
- [106:09]
A
That's a job you pay for.
- [106:10]
B
I want to. I want to randomly walk out and hit some guy and eat something strange. Oh, he said we got iguana on a stick.
- [106:22]
A
What's one of the, like, more interesting or weird places you ever went on vacation?
- [106:27]
B
I think all the places are pretty normal because we got kids. But, yeah, you know, the Cabo. But I know you know who's waiting on me. And because they know that I'm coming Turks and Caicos. Turks know that I'm coming Turks. Yeah, Turks and Caicos. They know. They know for facts that they're going to see me at that fish fry. And they wait on it. They like, there you go again. I've been to Turks, man. I'm going to Turks, bro. Like, and I'm going to kick it. Yeah, it's two different resorts that we stay at. And I'm going to kick, man. Turks. Yo, man, I want somebody to find me in the road and step over me. He's like, yo, that's him right now. But do you do adventure, though?
- [107:13]
A
Are you trying to, like, jet ski and stuff?
- [107:15]
B
I've jet ski before in the States. That jet skiing that. I remember one time we was in what El Cabo St. Lucas was. No, what was we at? Wherever it was at that they was like, yo, don't go this way. Cause that's the drug dealer route. Just jet ski this way, right? So I'm just. We jet skiing, me and my son, we doing. We finding pufferfish and all that. And the waves. Something happened. Like, I saw the shift and I was like, yo, I saw. We gotta go. And he's in front of me and bruh, it went from like this to, yo. And I'm like, hasan holding on like, ah, he terrified. He's terrified. I'm like, yo, Hasan, do you understand this is because I can swim. I think that I can get out of anything. Cause I can swim, which is insane. Like, it doesn't matter how crazy the waves are, because I can swim. You cannot tell me that I'm gonna die. Cause I'm just not. I remember when Jaden was little, we was in Miami, and Miami had had this crazy storm going out of nowhere. And the waves literally were coming up and tossing my daughter so far up on the beach. And she's like four and she's running right back into the water. And this is my ideology. She's not going. Nothing's going to happen because I'm out further than her, and I'm going to be able to get to her no matter what happens. So she went under on this wave, and then the wave came up and I didn't see her. So, boom, I'm in action. Boom. Going. And then I can't find her. But the wave, it threw her to the other end. And she's just standing. She's standing there like, no, I'm down here. But you don't realize that the ocean.
- [109:09]
A
Yeah, of course.
- [109:10]
B
It just moves you.
- [109:11]
A
Yeah.
- [109:11]
B
Oh, man. But because I can swim, you cannot. Like, when I broke my class tribal, I'm in the water, and my mind is. This was crazy. I thought my neck was broke. And I was like. Because I heard all this cracking. I said, but in my mind, I can swim.
- [109:31]
A
You know, all those people who have drowned also could swim.
- [109:35]
B
They think they can swim.
- [109:38]
A
They think they can swim.
- [109:39]
B
Something's happening. They thought, and they don't know. They're like, yo, you. You're not as efficient as you think you are. You trying to. You trying to. What is it called? Crawl stroke, but it's a breaststroke. When you in the water, breaststroke, frog kick. You know what I'm saying? You trying to like what you got going on. Oh,
- [110:02]
A
breaststroke, breaststroke, frog kick. You know what I'm saying?
- [110:06]
B
You gotta dip your chin. Bop.
- [110:09]
A
You got a good point. If you drown, then you might not know what.
- [110:12]
B
You might know what you was doing. Yeah.
- [110:13]
A
Ali, you're talking like you just learned how to swim.
- [110:18]
B
Stroke, frog kick.
- [110:20]
A
Yes.
- [110:20]
B
It's a hurricane. Who cares?
- [110:22]
A
It's a breaststroke frog cake.
- [110:24]
B
But the thing is, why would I think I was gonna drown? I have been swimming since I was five.
- [110:29]
A
Yeah.
- [110:30]
B
And my mom didn't even know. It's a story. And think, well, I got pushed in the pool, and it's not like I could swim at that time. Cause I never had taken swimming lessons on it. I got pushed in the pool, and because my mother told me that I shouldn't have been on that side of the pool.
- [110:45]
A
Yeah.
- [110:47]
B
When I got pushed in, she was coming down the steps, and I was so scared of my mama that I just swam across. Like, I just got out the water, and my mama got down there, and she was like, you better ain't got out that pool before I got down here. I was like. Cause I shouldn't have been over there. So.
- [111:01]
A
So that's how you learn how to swim?
- [111:04]
B
I'm like, no, I'm efficient with the water.
- [111:06]
A
I would love to See? No Noah walking around the village telling everybody like, yo, listen, the flood is coming. Like, ali, we gotta build this ship. And you just look at Noah like, I can swim. What's the flood?
- [111:18]
B
Little boat or what?
- [111:20]
A
I'm a boat. You're more scared of your mom than of dying.
- [111:25]
B
That's how I'm scared for sure. Being a. When you can swim, it's just a certain confidence when you around water that you. That other people don't have. I know how I broke my clavicle, because they just think this thing is. It's a sign that says, don't go in the water because it's choppy. And I looked at that sign, and my mother looked at me and said, that means you. And I'm like, no, it doesn't. I can swim. And I'm literally out there. And I remember the first two days that I was walking around and people was pointing at me like, that's him right there. He'd be out there in the water. I can swim. How'd you break the clavicle? Oh, man, this. This. This wave, bro.
- [112:19]
A
Yeah, it's not the water. Yeah, it wasn't a wave because he can handle the water. You good with no waves is so different.
- [112:26]
B
Wave was insane. Like, I'm. I'm literally. I'm coming, right? And I'm. I just came in and this. How big this wave was that? My son said, dad, look at that wave. And this. How I looked up. I was like, oh,
- [112:41]
A
yeah, when it's above you.
- [112:42]
B
And it came down and it slammed me and drug me along the beach. And that's how I broke my cloud. Like, it. Like it was bad. And. And I'm. I'm. I hate to say this to people, but my family know I'm a little tougher than a lot of people. My ribs are broken. My clavicle is broken. My sternum is bruised. Like, I'm. I'm really. But I don't want to leave because they on vacation. And so I'm just toughening it. I'm just toughening it out. And I'm sleeping literally up against the wall in the room, like. Cause I'm like, something is wrong. And I was saying. I was like, yo, they put me in a sling. They put my arm in a sling. I was like, in the. The life goes like, oh, this happens to me all the time. I used to be a bull rider. I'm like, nah, this is a little different. I can tell that this is different. I don't know what bull riding is. But I know this is something that's bad, bro. So I'm in a sling, right? And. But I just know that it's something else. And I'm like. I would scoot up against the wall and I'm like sleeping like this. And I would wake up and it'd be. It'd be written. That'd be hard to breathe, right? So I get on the plane, I come back, and I'm waiting for the MRI and all the rest of this. So I get the mri, and back in my day, they would just get your X rays and you would never really see them. They just come tell you what's wrong with you now. They blow you up on the screen. And it's like that lady find great pride in telling you. Why you pointing? She had a pointing thing. She's like. So you see the circular thing? You see this right there? Yeah, that's your clavicle. And that's supposed to be here. It's totally. It's gone. And the tendon is gone. All that's gone. And I was like, so what's that? That's the black cracks. Oh, those are. I was gonna get to that. Those are your ribs. Those like four breaks in your ribs. Like, yo, it's crazy. And I said, so what are you telling me about what we gonna do for the clavicle? I said, what are we gonna do for my ribs? And she said, nothing. I said, man, that is not a medical term. Cause, you know, they can't really do nothing. You gotta let em heal on your own. So after that, I'm waiting on the surgery. I go back on the road. I'm still flying and doing shows. It's some people in Utah that probably think I got shot in the airport. Cause I'm getting my bags right, I'm getting my bag and I'm rolling. I'm waiting on the car. And as I'm walking, I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. I gotta sneeze. No. And so I sneeze. And then I just laid down in the baggage claim. I just laid on it. And white people are crazy. White people got shot. It was. So I had the surgery on a Tuesday. And then, because I'm on to keep my word to this comedy club who's closed now, and they trying to stop him from being closed. So they done sold out two shows when I'm coming out, and people like, yo, he's never been to this club. He never said he was coming. And so I finally. They made a deal and I came So I wanted to keep my word. I get on the plane the day after I have surgery. So I'm on the plane, I get there. So I come out, I got this huge. It's not the sling they gave me in Mexico. This is a huge thing with a ball on it and pressure putting my arms. It's crazy. So as I'm doing the shows, and then the last show, this lady. I collapsed in the comedy club. I'm walking, and this lady said, great show. And I just went down. And this is after me telling the whole story about what happened. And this lady hit me right on it. And I just collapsed to the floor. Damn. And I was like, yo, this is insane. And my ribs were still broke. And I'm like. And then when I look back on that whole ordeal, I'm like, why was I that dedicated to stand up? Like. Like, why? Like, is it. I must be crazy. And then now I look at my two sons, my two sons in rugged. I had on some red Gucci loafers. Then I had on these cowhide boots. Nobody would believe that my toe was broke. My baby toe was broken. And while I'm doing these specials.
- [117:25]
A
Yeah. And no one would even think was
- [117:28]
B
like, yo, because I'm. Because I'm not hobbling or nothing. I didn't tell the director. Nobody until after it was over. And I took my boot off, and my foot is swollen. It was like. But I had all this numbing spray on it. They would be walking in. They didn't know I was spraying my foot. They thought I probably have athlete's foot. I'm sitting there. I was spraying all this numbness over my foot, and I'm like, y' all ready? And then now I gotta struggle to put this boot on. And I was like. And so when I went out there. When I went out there, I would just be doing my thing, just blocking it out. Damn. You know what I'm saying? And I think my father. Wasn't nothing wrong with me on that one, and not even emotionally.
- [118:16]
A
We gotta make sure. We gotta make sure everybody goes and checks out. My father, obviously. But before you go, I wanted to ask you if you saw the roast and what you think about it. It, like, you had brought up Rickles and you had brought up these guys who, like, I think a lot of us watch, and we're like, these iconic roasters. What did you think about the last one? I know there's been, like, a lot of controversy and stuff. Like, what was your digestion of?
- [118:38]
B
This is. This is my take on it 1. I did not see it.
- [118:46]
A
But here's my opinion.
- [118:48]
B
I did not watch the roast. Okay? But my opinion on the controversy that I heard, it's gonna always be like that going forward. If you being roasted for industry. For industry event versus a actual roast,
- [119:10]
A
which is like, your friends.
- [119:11]
B
Which is your friends, right? The Friars Club was a roast was friends. And when you watch the classic roast, all these people had personal relationship with other name was friends. That is an industry thing now. That's not an actual. The basis of a roast. So whatever controversy is coming from due to the. I'm not gonna say the elevation, the decline of it being a personal thing versus it being an industry showcase, but
- [119:40]
A
this didn't exist with the Tom Brady one. At least I didn't feel it as much when I did it.
- [119:44]
B
When. When I watched y' all doing the Tom Brady Jones, it was. It wasn't racially charged.
- [119:52]
A
Well, because Tom's white.
- [119:53]
B
Tom is white.
- [119:54]
A
And I hated him for that reason.
- [119:56]
B
And I. I hated him because he played with the Patriots. And I. And I. And I didn't think that. That it was. It had this type of, you know, stigma around it. Like, certain people were saying certain things. It was. It was very sexual. That was very, very. It was like, some things that it was like, in my mind at. At some point, I was like, yo, it would have been some fights behind, like, like, if somebody would say some of the things that was said. I was like, yeah. Because my whole thing was like, man, yeah, I'm gonna see you after this. Yeah, you. Are you on the list?
- [120:40]
A
We will not be doing Rose.
- [120:42]
B
Yeah. I would be more. More inclined to be roasted by people who I know. And then the people on the thing that I actually know, you know what I'm saying?
- [120:56]
A
Because then you. Then there's never any concern about, like, malice. Exactly.
- [121:03]
B
If you saying something, you saying something. I don't think that you have any malice towards me. So I'm taking it all in fun. It was like, if I'm roasting you, I'm going to bring up superstition, you know, that you superstitious. So it's not going to be like, I can't believe he said that about me, or if we've been on the
- [121:19]
A
road for 20 years together. Like, it's. It's like seeing some guys in the army that are making, like, horrible jokes about one another. It's like, yeah, but they've been in the trenches together. They don't even care what race each other are. Like, these people literally put Their lives in the life.
- [121:33]
B
Do you understand if we in war and you didn't had to drink each other's urine.
- [121:42]
A
You call me cracker, whatever you want.
- [121:48]
B
What's up with the pineapples?
- [121:55]
A
This Hawaiian guy's pee tastes great.
- [121:58]
B
You know, because it's like you man, you in a different mindset and this is things that people had to do for each other during times war. When I go back, I like, I like war movies now if you want me to get choked up you saying now I be watching the like yo, I can't believe they did that. Like he carried him. He blew his legs off.
- [122:23]
A
You're saying. And again like you haven't watched it. But the. You think the response comes from like maybe a lack of camaraderie or like a built in relationship.
- [122:32]
B
Yeah.
- [122:32]
A
Where if it was that, you don't think it would be.
- [122:35]
B
I don't think that it would have been that at all.
- [122:37]
A
So it's not necessarily about the jokes. It's about like where they're coming from.
- [122:41]
B
Where they come from.
- [122:42]
A
And that's what the audience was consuming in.
- [122:43]
B
Yeah.
- [122:44]
A
So it's like Eminem and Dr. Dre are saying crazy shit to one another. You're like, yeah, these guys have known each other forever. Like there's love there.
- [122:51]
B
Yeah, but.
- [122:52]
A
Got it. But strangers, it can always be taken in that way. Even if it's not meant that way. That's how the Internet could take it.
- [122:58]
B
Yep. If Drake say anything about anybody, it is definitely. I'm not Drake. You say anything. You know what I'm saying? It's the problem. Because don't you from Canada.
- [123:15]
A
He's one of yours, man.
- [123:16]
B
No, he is not. All right. You got to get out of here.
- [123:19]
A
You got more stuff to do. Listen, we love you, brother. You are prolific. Keep up the great work, man. We will continue to support everybody. Go check out my father. Your next chapter in healthcare starts at Carrington College's School of Nursing in Portland. Join us for our open house on
- [123:34]
B
Tuesday, January 13th from 4 to 7pm
- [123:37]
A
you'll tour our campus, see live demos, meet instructors and learn about our associate degree in nursing program that prepares you to become a registered nurse. Take the first step toward your nursing career. Save your spot now at Carrington Edu Events. For information on program outcomes, visit carrington. Edu Sci.