LA Fires: Why No One Seems to Care & Who’s Really to Blame

Summary

**Podcast Summary: Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Episode: **LA Fires: Why No One Seems to Care & Who’s Really to Blame
Release Date: January 15, 2025

Andrew Schulz's Flagrant podcast episode delves into the devastating wildfires in Los Angeles, exploring the underlying causes, societal indifference, media portrayal, and the political accountability surrounding these disasters. Throughout the episode, hosts Andrew Schulz, Akaash Singh, along with AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon, engage in an unfiltered and candid discussion, characteristic of the podcast's unapologetic style.

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1. Introduction to the LA Fires

The episode kicks off with Andrew Schulz challenging Mark Gagnon’s beliefs on supernatural entities, which segues into broader discussions about communication and belief systems. However, the primary focus quickly shifts to the recent wildfires in Los Angeles and their multifaceted impact on the community.

Notable Quote:

Andrew Schulz [05:29]: "But you think that it's flat. It's not flat at all."

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2. Causes and Escalation of the Fires

The hosts discuss the environmental and regulatory factors contributing to the severity of the LA wildfires. They highlight the combination of extreme weather conditions, such as hurricane-level winds and prolonged droughts, that exacerbate fire risks.

Key Points:

• Environmental Factors: Unprecedented wind speeds (up to 100 mph) and dry brush conditions.
• Human Factors: Possible arson by certain groups aiming to destabilize the region.
• Regulatory Shortcomings: Insufficient funding and policies that fail to mitigate fire risks effectively.

Notable Quote:

Mark Gagnon [02:00]: "If you just buy land and wait for California or for LA to go Republican now?"

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3. Public Indifference and Media Portrayal

A significant portion of the discussion centers on the perceived lack of empathy from the general public and media regarding the wildfire victims. The hosts argue that media coverage often focuses disproportionately on the properties of the wealthy and famous, ignoring the plight of ordinary families and renters who suffer immense losses.

Key Points:

• Media Focus: Predominantly highlights celebrity homes rather than impacted communities.
• Public Perception: Desensitization to frequent disasters leads to reduced empathy and urgency.
• Socio-Economic Divide: Emphasis on affluent victims while marginalized communities remain unheard.

Notable Quote:

Andrew Schulz [11:29]: "Stop talking. The famous people's houses that burned down. Talk about the school. What's that neighborhood, Altadena, they're talking about."

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4. Political Accountability and Leadership Critique

The conversation intensifies as the hosts critique political leaders, particularly Governor Gavin Newsom, for their handling of the wildfire crisis. They accuse officials of lacking accountability, prioritizing political gains over effective disaster management, and neglecting vulnerable populations.

Key Points:

• Leadership Failures: Governor Newsom’s absence during critical moments and lack of direct communication with affected communities.
• Policy Critique: Progressive policies potentially exacerbating the housing crisis and ineffective forest management.
• Call for Accountability: Demand for political leaders to take responsibility and implement actionable solutions.

Notable Quote:

Mark Gagnon [06:01]: "We've been looking at stuff in LA, the house that we had been looking at the whole time. Like, this is a fucking great piece of property. Yesterday just got cleared off of Compass. Not for sale, not for rent. That shit burned to the ground and that. Crazy."

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5. Socio-Economic Implications: Housing, Insurance, and Displacement

The episode explores the broader socio-economic ramifications of the wildfires, particularly focusing on the housing market, insurance challenges, and the displacement of residents. The hosts predict a potential collapse in the housing market due to uninsurable properties, leading to a shift towards cash purchases and reduced availability for average buyers.

Key Points:

• Insurance Crisis: Wildfires render many properties uninsurable, limiting homeowners' options.
• Housing Market Impact: Surge in housing prices as insurance companies retreat, making it difficult for average buyers to enter the market.
• Displacement Issues: Millions potentially displaced, with limited support systems in place for rebuilding and relocation.

Notable Quote:

Andrew Schulz [07:15]: "One of the first questions I asked Jason, how quickly are y'all going to buy up this dirt? And he was like. And this is what he said. He goes, it's uninsurable, not worth it."

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6. Environmental and Long-Term Concerns

The hosts touch upon the environmental degradation caused by the fires, including the loss of biodiversity and damage to ecosystems. They also discuss the long-term effects of climate change on fire prevalence and intensity, emphasizing the need for sustainable practices to prevent future disasters.

Key Points:

• Biodiversity Loss: Destruction of habitats leading to loss of species and ecological balance.
• Climate Change: Increasing temperatures and prolonged dry spells heighten fire risks.
• Sustainable Solutions: Importance of reforestation, controlled burns, and investment in fire prevention infrastructure.

Notable Quote:

Akash Singh [05:27]: "But I heard it and I was like, yes."

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7. Conclusion: Broader Implications and Call to Action

In wrapping up, the hosts reiterate the urgent need for comprehensive policy reforms, increased funding for disaster management, and a shift in public perception to foster greater empathy and proactive support for affected communities. They advocate for holding political leaders accountable and implementing sustainable environmental practices to mitigate future wildfire risks.

Key Points:

• Policy Reform: Advocating for stronger regulations and proactive measures to prevent wildfires.
• Public Engagement: Encouraging community support and raising awareness about the true impact of wildfires.
• Long-Term Planning: Emphasizing the necessity of sustainable environmental practices and resilient infrastructure.

Notable Quote:

Andrew Schulz [16:40]: "I think what you're seeing right now is there are a lot of people below the power line. They feel no hope whatsoever. And they're maybe not going out and killing the CEO, but they are celebrating it or having zero empathy for it."

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Additional Highlights

Throughout the episode, the hosts intersperse discussions about personal experiences, societal observations, and lighter topics to maintain an engaging and dynamic conversation. Despite the digressions, the central theme of the LA wildfires remains a consistent thread, underscoring the episode's critical analysis of the disaster's causes and consequences.

Notable Quotes:

Andrew Schulz [12:01]: "Like, you have to swim right back to Hamilton and one of the girls just left."
Mark Gagnon [18:11]: "Progressivism is dead."

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Conclusion

This episode of Flagrant provides a comprehensive and unfiltered examination of the LA wildfires, highlighting the complex interplay between environmental factors, political accountability, media portrayal, and socio-economic impacts. Through candid discussions and blunt critiques, Andrew Schulz and his co-hosts shed light on why these disasters receive insufficient attention and emphasize the urgent need for systemic changes to address both current and future wildfire challenges.

Transcript

[Andrew Schulz]

What's up, everybody? Welcome to Flagrant. Today we're going to get to the bottom why Mark believes everything. Mark just three seconds ago was telling us why demons exist. And your proof was the Jews. That's literally what you said.

[Akash Singh]

Religious people believe in demons. Dove believes in demons. Let the record show you're a religious Jew. You go to synagogue every day. And according to Jewish religion, you have to believe that there's good and evil.

[Andrew Schulz]

And that the evils are demons.

[Akash Singh]

Sure.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay. Mark, I've learned from communicating with my wife, okay, that giving examples is not what they want. Okay? Examples undermine what they. And they just want their feelings validated. Now, my whole life has been dedicated towards creating metaphors and analogies for why I'm right. Turns out that's horrible for communication in marriage. Also interrupting, apparently. Horrible. I'm like, is it my wife that's commenting on the YouTubes?

[Akash Singh]

You gotta call it heckling. Call it heckling, dude, you burn it every day.

[Andrew Schulz]

Do people not have friends? I'm like, what do you do with your friends? You don't just talk over each other. That's just how friendship fucking works.

[Dove]

That's how it's supposed to go.

[Andrew Schulz]

You have to swear. Say something. You just say it.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Done.

[Akash Singh]

Except for when she interrupts you.

[Andrew Schulz]

Disrespectful.

[Mark Gagnon]

Come on.

[Andrew Schulz]

A man is talking here. A male embryo. The embryo that is wanted and desired and cherished around the world.

[Akash Singh]

Yes.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay. Anyway. Mark, Mark, Mark. Mark believes in anything. We figured out why Mark believes in anything. Can you share?

[Akash Singh]

I believe in. I give leashes to things. Okay. I don't just believe. I just don't believe in anything.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay. Mark heard so much absurd shit growing up from his mom, obviously, Right? So his barometer for what is normal and weird.

[Akash Singh]

Oh.

[Andrew Schulz]

Is way off.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Coffee, enema.

[Akash Singh]

Normal.

[Mark Gagnon]

Great way to start your morning.

[Andrew Schulz]

We haven't even gotten to the bottom of that, have we?

[Mark Gagnon]

Kumar's mom did.

[Andrew Schulz]

So. Hold on. She's just backing up into the Nespresso every morning?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, well, it's put into, like, a. Like a canteen. Oh.

[Andrew Schulz]

She doesn't go right from the tap.

[Akash Singh]

She doesn't just.

[Andrew Schulz]

She doesn't toot that thing up.

[Akash Singh]

No, you gotta cool it down. You gotta cool it down. Make a room temp and then put it in the. In the little. Little container and then tube it up.

[Andrew Schulz]

Got it.

[Dove]

She doesn't go for the ice cream. Refreshing.

[Andrew Schulz]

Wasted.

[Akash Singh]

Room temperature. So what does this have to do with demons?

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay, listen. She knows that.

[Al]

Okay?

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay. So, all right. So Mark has gives a little bit longer leash to all the crazy people, right?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Now, I'm not saying your mom's crazy, but she has some wild ideas. And you would hear this.

[Akash Singh]

Some of the ideas are certainly kind of crazy.

[Andrew Schulz]

And then some of the ideas end up kind of being Right. So where the average person like us, if somebody just walks up to us on the street and they're like, bacon is fucking, is really from pigeon or whatever like that, we go, all right, whatever. You're just a crazy person. There's a little bit of you that goes, what do you mean by that?

[Akash Singh]

Why? There's certainly a follow up question. And I thought everyone had follow up questions. No.

[Andrew Schulz]

Why we walk away.

[Mark Gagnon]

You don't engage crazies.

[Andrew Schulz]

But here's the thing. Normally someone with Mark's condition would go to an island somewhere where there are people that are relaxed and calm and they don't believe in crazy shit, and then they would just live out the rest of their life in tranquility and peace.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, he went to the place where they're normal people screaming out crazy shit all day long and now he has to inquire about this.

[Akash Singh]

Yes.

[Mark Gagnon]

Thousand Percent started a podcast about it.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

Literally. Yes. That's where this convo came from. Because I was talking to a guy that was telling me about aliens and I was like, yo, maybe dude, they're so convicted where they're telling me about aliens.

[Andrew Schulz]

Has there ever been a moment in your life where you just go, ugh, I don't believe that.

[Akash Singh]

Sure.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. When someone said, you should enjoy movies.

[Akash Singh]

Sure.

[Andrew Schulz]

You're like, I don't believe that.

[Akash Singh]

Someone's like, watch Wicked. And I was like, too many people.

[Andrew Schulz]

Do that every single day. That's part of our culture. Yeah. I'm not going to watch movies. I mean, shower daily.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. I mean, that's a. That's a myth. For the record, that is absolutely a propaganda tool. Done by Capital America. Yes.

[Andrew Schulz]

By the Resnicks. Yeah. Californians. Washing yourself all day and your city would be there.

[Akash Singh]

Consume more, buy More.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's what happens.

[Akash Singh]

People are showering all the time. Yeah. And I was counting down the minutes.

[Andrew Schulz]

Until they blamed it on the Jews. The wildfire. I was, I kept looking at TikTok. I was like, man, you guys are taking a little while. And then boom. Where's all the water in California? In some starboys house in Northern la where. Where the resnecks live, I think.

[Mark Gagnon]

Northern California.

[Al]

I have all of it though.

[Andrew Schulz]

Anyway, okay.

[Akash Singh]

So yeah, I give, I give a little Bit of a leash.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay.

[Akash Singh]

But then some things, like flat Earth. That's not true.

[Andrew Schulz]

But you would give a leash to believe it. It had to.

[Akash Singh]

But I heard it and I was like, yes.

[Mark Gagnon]

Enough for them to walk off the face of the planet.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

It had to be proven to you that it wasn't true. Where the rest of us were. Like, we know it's not true, but.

[Akash Singh]

How do you know it's not true?

[Andrew Schulz]

Because.

[Mark Gagnon]

Exactly.

[Akash Singh]

Because.

[Mark Gagnon]

Can I tell you something exactly?

[Akash Singh]

Because.

[Andrew Schulz]

Because.

[Akash Singh]

No. You look into it. You say, okay, the light can't go through the hole.

[Andrew Schulz]

Didn't even look into.

[Akash Singh]

Because the curvature.

[Andrew Schulz]

Didn't even look into it. I just said, ah, it's not flat.

[Akash Singh]

But when you're in an airplane, you look out and you go, it seems flat.

[Andrew Schulz]

Don't even think about.

[Dove]

Nope.

[Mark Gagnon]

No, it doesn't seem.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't even think about it. In an airplane, I'm like, man, we are going around, around, around.

[Akash Singh]

Not flat at all.

[Andrew Schulz]

Not flat at all. I agree. But you think that it's flat.

[Akash Singh]

It's not flat.

[Mark Gagnon]

It could be. He gives a leash to the idea.

[Andrew Schulz]

You give a leash to the idea that it's flat.

[Akash Singh]

Well, it is. It is measurably flat in our existence on the Earth.

[Andrew Schulz]

The glass is thick on the airplane, so it makes it look round from.

[Al]

Our POV on the plane.

[Dove]

I get it.

[Akash Singh]

It's. It's experientially flat, but it's not actually flat in actuality.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's true.

[Dove]

I wish he was sick.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, right. I'm getting more sick listening.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, yeah. Akash almost d died this week.

[Mark Gagnon]

So did Al.

[Andrew Schulz]

I gave it to him. Sick.

[Dove]

I got the Akashic bird flu. Thank you.

[Mark Gagnon]

I did tell you not to hug me. Alan wanted to hug everybody. Fine.

[Akash Singh]

So contagious.

[Andrew Schulz]

You got some real to, like, cry about what you're going through during these wildfires. Like, nobody cares about your little pneumonia. I was like, oh, pneumonia.

[Mark Gagnon]

I think I'm the real victim.

[Andrew Schulz]

You are the real victim.

[Akash Singh]

Can you share what you're saying about the wildfires?

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. So we, My wife and I keep talking about getting out of New York.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

We've been looking at stuff in la, the house that we had been looking at the whole time. Like, this is fucking great piece of property. Yesterday just got cleared off of Compass. Not for sale, not for rent. That shit burned to the ground and that. Crazy. And I remember like a week. A week ago being like, it's so fucking cold.

[Akash Singh]

New York.

[Mark Gagnon]

This is God's way of telling Us to leave. Go to California.

[Andrew Schulz]

So legit. Burned down.

[Mark Gagnon]

Burned down.

[Andrew Schulz]

I told you they were real, the fires.

[Akash Singh]

I know it said they were real. I think they're real. No, I saw it on Google.

[Mark Gagnon]

No, I thought they were arson. Yeah, well, that is also by the Resnicks.

[Akash Singh]

Blackrock in Blackrock also.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay.

[Akash Singh]

Akash was really caught up about this.

[Mark Gagnon]

I was really. I mean, I'm the real victim, dude.

[Andrew Schulz]

I mean.

[Mark Gagnon]

And I got the flu.

[Andrew Schulz]

Can't catch a break this week.

[Mark Gagnon]

Why not?

[Akash Singh]

Why?

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, but I like that you wore the shirt that guarantees you will not have bunched up shoulders. Yeah, yeah, bro. The comments were. That was majestic, bro.

[Akash Singh]

They said you look like the shrugged head guy from Beetlejuice.

[Andrew Schulz]

That was the best one.

[Mark Gagnon]

There's so many.

[Andrew Schulz]

That was the best one. 100.

[Mark Gagnon]

There's so good ones.

[Andrew Schulz]

SHOUTS Anyway, yeah.

[Dove]

Is it too early to say there's going to be like some available property in LA soon?

[Mark Gagnon]

I've been trying to figure that out, to be honest with you.

[Dove]

Like, when is the time?

[Andrew Schulz]

One of the first questions I asked Jason, how quickly are y'all going to buy up this dirt? And he was like. And this is what he said. He goes, it's uninsurable, not worth it. And that is going to be the issue is that now that there are wildfires that run through every year or whatever it is, and you don't know when this kind of stuff is going to happen. The insurance companies are going to go, ah, it's not worth it. And then the only people can buy the homes are people who can buy them all cash and self insure. I mean, so housing prices.

[Al]

Or it becomes an affordable area because the Fair Plan only insures up to $3 million.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, is that like the government's natural disaster?

[Al]

That's when they were canceling State Farm.

[Andrew Schulz]

Other plans.

[Al]

So you only had the Fair Plan plus like little other umbrellas you could have done.

[Andrew Schulz]

But yeah, if that's your cap, what.

[Mark Gagnon]

If you just buy land and wait for California or for LA to go Republican now?

[Andrew Schulz]

We're going to be fine once these people start. Because a lot of these people whose houses are gone, like, they never built a house, they maybe renovated one a little bit or they bought an existing house. Once you start building a house in California, you deal with the bureaucracy that that is in place. All these people are going to go, man, fuck the Democrats, fuck leftist shit. Like, open it up, turn this shit into Texas or Florida.

[Dove]

You don't think they're going to streamline the shit because there's so many.

[Andrew Schulz]

So, so here's the thing. If you. If it's now okay to streamline. Why the fuck was there a streamline before? Why are you hamming up all these people?

[Dove]

No, no, I mean in terms of building back. Like they got less regulations just because we have to build this shit back.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay. So then they will. And then people realize, oh, wow, the housing shortage goes away quickly when you actually make it possible for people to build out here. So either way, I think that people start going, all right, I think we're done with the leftist policies.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, progressivism is dead.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, dead.

[Akash Singh]

And then after this fire, does that not mean that there won't be another fire for a while? Like if this is basically a controlled burn that took down all like the brush and does that buy 10 years?

[Andrew Schulz]

That's a good question.

[Akash Singh]

The worst fire that's ever happened.

[Andrew Schulz]

I feel like brush grows like that.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. How fast is brush that?

[Dove]

What's brush?

[Andrew Schulz]

It's brush.

[Akash Singh]

It's brush. It's like no dry brush that.

[Andrew Schulz]

It was brush.

[Al]

It was 80 to 100 mile per hour.

[Andrew Schulz]

Wind was the perfect direction.

[Al]

It was just a absolute nightmare.

[Dove]

Perfect attack. Man made, bro.

[Andrew Schulz]

Maybe. I mean there were people lighting it up. But that's the other thing that's like the reaction to this. It's funny, like the Luigi Mangioni stuff. The reaction was people like supportive of Luigi and some people made it about him being good looking. I don't think it was about him being good looking at all. That helps. It helps because it's a little funnier to support it because you can pretend you're doing it because he's so handsome. But like the undercurrent is really that evil CEO.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yep.

[Andrew Schulz]

They're the hats. I'm the have not.

[Mark Gagnon]

We've all been by insurance and this is health insurance. So it's life and death. They play with your life. Same thing with this. Housing, housing. Insurance companies are going to try to not pay out all these people.

[Andrew Schulz]

CEOs better get security.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yo, that was one of your texts, like right as it was happening. And if another if it house like a State Farm Insurance CEO gets aced out, you think people are going to give a fuck? We're not going to give a fuck. We're going to be like, that's what's up. There you go.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, this is, this is like. I think we've talked about this before, but you know, for the billionaire class. Right?

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Or the hundreds of millionaires, like the people who actually kind of control things and make decisions throughout history. You got to make sure that the poorest people have enough to, to live. They can't be below the poverty line. Because if they're below the poverty line with no hope, like they feel like there's no way out, they're going to kill you.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

And that's history. Right. It's. Every revolution has started because of that. Right. So I think what you're seeing right now is there are a lot of people below the power line. They feel no hope whatsoever. And they're maybe not going out and killing the CEO, but they are celebrating it or having zero empathy for it. And unfortunately with the fires, the way that the media has portrayed it is it's just kind of Malibu and the Palisades and every time you turn on Fox or cnn, they're like this famous person's house burned down.

[Mark Gagnon]

What are you doing?

[Andrew Schulz]

Stop talking. The famous people's houses that burned down. Talk about the school. What's that neighborhood, Altadena, they're talking about. It's just like talk about the poor people who are renting. They no longer have a house and all their family heirlooms are done.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. Or they put all their money into this house. They don't have a lot of money. But you got, you got a house in California that's going to appreciate now that's gone. Insurance not paying out.

[Andrew Schulz]

Also just the idea, like if you don't have anything, hearing someone's house that they own burn down, didn't the knee jerk reaction is to not have empathy for that? Because you're like, I don't even have a house to burn down.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Like you're immediately putting, putting us in this position of have, have nots. Nobody's talking about like all the landscapers that no longer have work because their entire neighborhood and area that they landscape is melted. Right. There's a lot of people who are fucked because of this. I think the best like portrayal of it is just like, what did you lose in the house? People can relate to that.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

You know, I lost all the pictures of my daughter. I lost all the pictures of my family. I lost these family heirlooms. Like I would be sad if I lost those things. But when you talk about $40 million Malibu house, also don't even talk about the Malibu house. Don't even bring that shit up that exists or doesn't exist. Nobody want to hear about it. Yeah. Because nobody lives only in Malibu. That's your second, third, fourth house. It's $50 million. Nobody gives a right now just point that at Altadena, point that at those families. Where are they staying? Are they in motels? Do they have clothes? Like what do the kids do? The kids go to school. That's the only way to get it. Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

You're also so desensitized, like just in general. Like you just see wars everywhere and then you see someone lost a house, you're like, well it's not as bad as the thing I saw two weeks ago.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's crazy because you don't hear about the like it's death toll also.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

When you hear 20 people died, 25 people died, you're like first of all it's tragic, obviously 25 people died, but that's like half a school shooting.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, we're desensitized to 25. Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Like it's crazy. Like so to us, when you hear all this damage, it's almost like if you resent the people who have and the this like super wealthy class of people, if you resent them, it's almost like the perfect tragedy because you're like wait a minute. So all the billionaires houses got burned down and few people died. Thank you. Amazing. Great. This tapped into that resentment that I had and made me feel good. Now you guys know the pain.

[Dove]

Yeah, I don't know. I feel like there's an overwhelming support for what's going on over there.

[Mark Gagnon]

I think there's an undercurrent of this, but I largely do feel a lot of that. But I do think there's an undercurrent of people that are easily written off.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, there's some comment sections that are.

[Al]

Crazy and also Palisades. Think about there's also people that have lived there. An 80 year old is not going to take the time to rebuild and start over again. Versus or it's that first couple. This is their first dream house, their first like their kids schools burned down, they gotta adjust.

[Dove]

This is tragic.

[Andrew Schulz]

So much like palace as well was.

[Al]

Like a real enclave of like low like locals. Like that was a dream neighborhood that was actually pretty well balanced.

[Andrew Schulz]

Of course, really rich homes.

[Al]

But it's tragic I think, I think.

[Andrew Schulz]

LA is rallying behind it and there's a lot of support in la, but I think outside of la and especially if you're a person who doesn't really have much and you're seeing like a celebrity post a GoFundMe for one of their friends, the knee jerk reaction is like, well why don't you fund it? It, you know, you're a celebrity, you probably got hundreds of millions of dollars, which they don't. Yeah, but you think they do. So I, and I think I looked at some of these comment sections also. Like, making it about Gaza is just like, bro, the comments like this is gone every day. It's like nobody asked. We're talking about California right now. Talk about la.

[Dove]

Yeah, but I don't like the left right stuff going on either. Right.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

You're saying like the politicization of the event that.

[Dove]

And also some people on a certain side are like, oh, you know what, we're going to hold funding until they agree to a whole bunch of other stuff. And I'm like, yo, when something this tragic happens, you just throw the money at it and let's just get everybody in a good place before you try to bring politics into this bullshit.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, I mean, I'm not against bringing politics in.

[Dove]

Why?

[Andrew Schulz]

Because politicians make decisions that they have to be accountable for. But I'm supportive of being critical of politicians on both sides. So if these politicians are withholding funding simply to leverage the tragedy, let's be critical of that. If these politicians over here withheld funding to the fire department, withheld funding to the things that clear the brush and withheld or had some policy that affected the amount of water that could be in their reservoirs, hold them accountable for that. Right. I think that political decisions have influenced this event. So I think we got to hold those people accountable. And please believe when politicians make decisions that benefit the city or the state or the country, they love to take that credit. This is my economy. Even Barack, the best. It was my economy that he inherited.

[Dove]

I guess there's just no right time to talk about those things. But it's just like when you in the middle of the tragedy, like, let's just focus on helping the people.

[Mark Gagnon]

I think your anger needs an explanation. How the fuck did this happen? Now? Apparently, like you guys said, it's a lot of confluence of events. That's crazy. Hurricane level winds with the fire with the dry, the drought, blah, blah, blah. But at some point you also got to look at how the there, it can't be perfectly planned. The city, all the money was spent correctly, et cetera, et cetera. And then everything happened. And then we do feel like politicians don't really take accountability. It doesn't feel like Gavin Newsom is saying, you know what, I take responsibility for what I've done, blah, blah, blah. It seems like they're just like, let me make sure I get reelected again. Let me make sure I look okay out of this. And then you look at that, and you get grossed out because you're angry looking at this. You feel bad for those people. There's a perfect outlet. There's a human being who fucks something up and isn't taking accountability. That guy.

[Andrew Schulz]

I also think that it's an outlet for their frustration that preceded this. So it's like, if you have frustration about homelessness, if you have frustration about legislation, if you have frustration about the city, the crime rates in the city, you had all this frustration about LA, but at the same time, it's 75 every single day. You got a job, you're still getting paid, you got a nice house. You're like, all right, let me not, you know, cry about this right now. Then this happens, and it looks like there's an aptitude on behalf of the government, and you're like, all right, you know what? You. You guys all got to get out of here. So I think it's. It's not the straw that broke the camel's back. There's a lot of straw right here. But it is indicative of a greater problem.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

And I think it's a frustration with government in general and, like, progressive leadership. Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

People are mad at Mayor that. She was in Ghana.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

You see that?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

Wait, I think she left before the fires.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

Like, she was there already, which just what a stressful.

[Andrew Schulz]

I should have knew it was going to be a fire. Who should have knew it was going to be windy that day?

[Mark Gagnon]

You know what's crazy, though, is when they're interviewing her after she. It's right after she gets off the plane, but she just says nothing and then leaves. Yeah, the. The dead silence was crazy.

[Andrew Schulz]

You're mayor.

[Akash Singh]

Why are you going if you're.

[Al]

She's also promised not to do these international trips before.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, really?

[Mark Gagnon]

That's a problem?

[Andrew Schulz]

She can't take vacation. Vacation? She was at the inauguration of the.

[Al]

New president of Ghana.

[Andrew Schulz]

Like, why does she need to be in.

[Al]

Because before, she was on some committee that would send leaders out there.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm like, you're the mayor now.

[Al]

You have one job.

[Mark Gagnon]

All right, guys. Also, we got some dates. First of all, I apologize to everybody in Tampa, we had to reschedule. The new dates are April 10th through 13th, by the way, I know some of you guys bought tickets not from the website, and they're giving you a hard time with refunds. I'm sorry, guys. I do. I'm trying to figure out what to do. I don't know what I can. But from now on. Please buy your tickets directly from the website link on my website site. But in the meantime, I got shows coming up. January 23rd through 25th. We sold out all the shows in Sacramento. We had an eighth and ninth show on Sunday. So we're doing nine shows now. Guys, we're killing it. January 26th, January 31st through February 1st, we're going to be in West Des Moines, Iowa. Again. I cannot believe there's a West Des Moines. February 21st and 22nd, I'm going to be in Brea. Those tickets are selling out to. Hurry up and buy those. February 27th through March 1st, I'm going to be at Zany's in Nashville. All those dates and a bunch more getting added to my website. Akash Singh.com Omaha, Columbus coming through. I'm gonna see you guys. Denver, I'm coming back through for 420. Doing another high show. But guys, buy your tickets. They're selling the fuck out. Akash Singh dot com. Love y'all. See y'all soon.

[Andrew Schulz]

Are there Ghanaians in Atlanta? I think there's a big G. We don't have it.

[Dove]

If there was no fire, no one would be saying shit. Come on, it's not that big of a deal. Let her take a trip or two.

[Mark Gagnon]

Not saying a fucking word when you get off the plane is insanity.

[Dove]

Now we're talking about.

[Andrew Schulz]

Dude, what is that line? Yeah, yeah. If my aunt had wheels, she would be a bicycle. There's a lot of ifs here. But the reality is she went on a trip internationally. She didn't have to go on. It was indulgent and it coincided with the worst tragedy in Los Angeles in history. And, you know. Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

What is LA's relationship with Ghana? Like, why do they need, like, good.

[Mark Gagnon]

She want to go to Ghana.

[Andrew Schulz]

She want to go to Ghana. Yo. She want the government to pay for it. Simple as that.

[Dove]

It's the place to go.

[Andrew Schulz]

There's no fire in Ghana. There's no wind in Ghana.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

And the wind warnings. Where is she before she left them Trip. Listen, they're going to try to find people accountable. Isn't none of these people, like, wanted this to happen? These people made the win happen. But there might have been decisions that made the situation worse and you can hold them accountable for that. And I don't think that's politicizing it.

[Mark Gagnon]

No. Now withholding the funding is.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's corny.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yes.

[Andrew Schulz]

And that is politicizing and that's hurting people's lives.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

So you're actively hurting their Lives. If that is happening, they should be criticized for that too.

[Akash Singh]

People do this with Ted Cruz when he left to go to Cancun.

[Mark Gagnon]

I hate him still to this day. Fuck him.

[Akash Singh]

But have you ever had to cancel a family vacation? And you know how stressful it is. Like. Like, think about also his perspective, like, having to tell your wife and kids, like, hey, we're not going to Cancun.

[Mark Gagnon]

No, no, it wasn't a planned family vacation, dude. He escaped Texas because governmental failure from Texan politics that are like, hey, we don't want to share the energy grid with the rest of the country because we are our own country. So we just have our own energy grid. And then the whole fucking power shut down throughout the state. Since he had no power, he's like, well, I'm out, out. I'm leaving the dogs. I'm going to Cancun on the only flight out of here.

[Akash Singh]

Oh, really?

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. That's why I Ted Cruz forever. And you're a Republican for that. And I don't care. Like, this is a very easy thing to do. I don't understand how we can't both just do it.

[Akash Singh]

Why is he politicizing this?

[Dove]

Bro.

[Mark Gagnon]

Right there, quick fight. Boom. I get in and out.

[Akash Singh]

There wasn't like a mayor of Cancun getting inaugurated or something. It might have been political. He might have been going to see Bad Bunny or do something.

[Mark Gagnon]

I don't know that guy. And then you standing on the tarmac having nothing to say when your city's on fire.

[Akash Singh]

What if she's your city? What if she just sprinted? What if she just got off the plane, just full sprint?

[Mark Gagnon]

And then she better be running like a Ghanaian.

[Akash Singh]

She better picked up some speed, then it'd be fun. I don't even understand. They interviewed her and she was just.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like, dude, dead silent, looking down. It was crazy.

[Akash Singh]

What do you want to say? What is she supposed to say?

[Dove]

Like, let her have her prepared answers.

[Mark Gagnon]

You had a whole international flight to prepare answers.

[Andrew Schulz]

She was my flat.

[Dove]

That's too much.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. You just made him sick again, bro.

[Andrew Schulz]

So what ends up happening?

[Akash Singh]

Well, did you see the reservoir wasn't filled up?

[Andrew Schulz]

Somebody press in, knew some about that.

[Akash Singh]

The woman, the mom?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

I mean, that's the funniest lady in the world. That woman runs the pta.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, like.

[Akash Singh]

Like, it's the Marines, bro.

[Andrew Schulz]

Did you see her?

[Akash Singh]

She goes, governor Newsom, you need to call the president. Where's Biden? And she's like. He's like, I'm gonna call him.

[Mark Gagnon]

I have no cell service.

[Akash Singh]

And he goes. She goes, put me on the phone with the President.

[Andrew Schulz]

I love it. I love.

[Akash Singh]

Imagine you're watching your mom on tv.

[Andrew Schulz]

Like. No, she's trying to talk to the president. Excuse me, Mayor. Yeah, that's what you need. That's Mayor energy right there. That gets shit done, bro. She's demanding to talk to the president.

[Akash Singh]

Of the United States.

[Mark Gagnon]

That Mayor Karen is way better than this.

[Andrew Schulz]

Mayor Karen. Can y'all explain to me this smelt thing? The fish?

[Mark Gagnon]

No. Oh, yeah.

[Akash Singh]

Oh, the jet fuel. It can't melt them, so people think it controls demolition. Is that. What are you. Is that what you're driving?

[Andrew Schulz]

I just fucking hate them. Like, apparently, there's no water because they're trying to protect the smell.

[Mark Gagnon]

God damn.

[Andrew Schulz]

Dude. Dude.

[Dove]

What?

[Akash Singh]

Shower. I. Deodorant. No, smell me.

[Andrew Schulz]

Smell me, smell me. I can't even laugh on you the way I laugh on you because you smell so horrible.

[Mark Gagnon]

No.

[Andrew Schulz]

How bad did he smell? You're sick, bro.

[Akash Singh]

Don't even touch me.

[Andrew Schulz]

But it goes through that smell.

[Akash Singh]

Smell.

[Dove]

I can't smell.

[Andrew Schulz]

I put on deodorant before, specifically.

[Akash Singh]

Bro, come on.

[Andrew Schulz]

Nah, you've been wearing that color palette for a month. I just thought it was similar types of clothing. Same thing from yesterday.

[Akash Singh]

It was white when I bought it. Oh, God.

[Andrew Schulz]

All right, so what were we just saying? The penis reservoir. Explain this fish shit. Like, everybody's like, we could have. I think it was Trump and Rogan who maybe started this conversation, but basically they could have taken water from. I don't know if it's Northern California or even Canada.

[Al]

I think it's from up there to protect. It's a threatened fish. And instead of diverting it to reservoir.

[Andrew Schulz]

They diverted it to the ocean instead of bringing it to the reservoirs in an effort to protect the fish.

[Mark Gagnon]

Right.

[Dove]

I heard it wouldn't have made a difference.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's what I'm trying to get to. It feels so easy. The big thing was an empty. But what kind of fish is it little.

[Dove]

It's like a. Nah, it is, but it's like. It just dictates the healthiness of your ocean if that particular fish is around. It's one of the indicators that you have, like, a healthy. The environment, some.

[Akash Singh]

Oh, the delta smelt.

[Dove]

Trump is also, you know, he's having fun right now. Really having fun.

[Andrew Schulz]

Talk to me.

[Dove]

He's just saying whatever the he wants to say. Like, all. Even the last week. The Gulf of America.

[Andrew Schulz]

I love it.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, dog him. And when we had that. Progressivism is dead. Conversation. It was based on me seeing him and Barack chopping it up at the funeral. Yeah, it was also very funny. And I was like, oh, it's. We're all done with all this progressive shit.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Trump is about to dominate them.

[Andrew Schulz]

Is about to be popping. No, I think the Dems are going to come back strong.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

They just need somebody that's engaging. And the problem is all these people that are exist within the system right now are kind of indoctrinated by the Dem policy and the Dem rhetoric. So I don't think it's going to be one of these people that we're seeing or that we've seen for the last like eight years at least. Yeah, I think it's got to be a new voice that pops up that's a rejection of that, but isn't all the way, right.

[Dove]

Yo, what's crazy? I took a sniff of him and he just cleared my sinuses.

[Akash Singh]

Mark's VapoRub, bro. That's what I do.

[Andrew Schulz]

I got you. That's crazy.

[Dove]

Yo, you need to bottle that up, cbs, bro.

[Akash Singh]

Trump released the official audio.

[Dove]

This guy, he don't give a. It's crazy.

[Andrew Schulz]

Brock, very nice to see you.

[Dove]

Congratulations.

[Andrew Schulz]

So how you doing? I'm a lot better, dad.

[Dove]

Hell, I bet knew you'd win.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, really? Well, come on. You know what I realized? Hillary still hates me so much. I know she'll never forget.

[Dove]

I mean, damn.

[Andrew Schulz]

He's just. I think so, too. We can definitely, definitely set something up. Let me know. Whatever. I was going tomorrow for the girls.

[Dove]

Okay, watch this move. So she's supposed to go first, but she didn't want to be right in front of Trump, so she makes her husband go around.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, wow.

[Akash Singh]

Oh, he just eyeing her down, bro. Come on.

[Dove]

Did you see that?

[Andrew Schulz]

She won't even look at me. Really? I was some of her people. Apparently they said she fell off the wagon.

[Mark Gagnon]

I think she actually may have.

[Andrew Schulz]

I mean, all time just person.

[Dove]

He don't give a.

[Andrew Schulz]

Is it refreshing?

[Mark Gagnon]

It's fun, dude.

[Andrew Schulz]

It is refreshing.

[Mark Gagnon]

It's fun for sure.

[Andrew Schulz]

We need to have a nice few years without giving a for us to go, hey, maybe we should give a a little bit.

[Akash Singh]

Do you know what I mean?

[Dove]

I hope you're right.

[Mark Gagnon]

I was actually bad about this. Except for she fell off the wagon.

[Andrew Schulz]

Was she sober?

[Mark Gagnon]

I don't think so. I think that was like one of the rumors that, you know, they just start throwing shit out there. Trump is demented, Comma's an alcoholic, almost on coke. They're just doing all these things. So I think that's a reference to that. But that's outside of that. Everything else is just funny.

[Akash Singh]

I mean, other the fact that it's not real.

[Dove]

The president.

[Andrew Schulz]

Who cares?

[Mark Gagnon]

It's funny. We forget funny, don't. We ain't at the ethos of this podcast. Y'all forgot podcast are you on?

[Andrew Schulz]

It's the best. It is the best. I hope.

[Dove]

I hope it's good.

[Akash Singh]

I mean, you see old, old Bush tapping up his boy. This.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, that was sick, dude.

[Akash Singh]

This one right here, this is the funniest thing. What do you mean? Just frat star, like, w. Just walking in, seeing his. His homie, yo, what's up? Play. Like, that's how he greets the other president.

[Dove]

That's fire. I didn't see that one.

[Andrew Schulz]

Guys, hop off his dick. Gas fire. The little cap to the tummy. The Diddy on Justin Bieber Church. That's fire. Yo, hop off his dick. That's fine. He's saying the same about Trump 10 years from now. Yeah, he was, actually.

[Dove]

I mean, if he did with some swag, that was a little swag with him.

[Akash Singh]

Yo, what's up, my. Like, that's exactly what it was. He said it like they had just been hanging out. He yapping up because, like, him and.

[Dove]

The wife, they hang out all the time.

[Akash Singh]

That would be the best part.

[Andrew Schulz]

What, buying TikTok?

[Akash Singh]

Nope. After being president and just hanging with the other presidents, being like, yo, that shit was fucking crazy.

[Andrew Schulz]

Wasn't it wild?

[Akash Singh]

Like, that would be the most fun part.

[Andrew Schulz]

We got to learn something. I kind of think that they don't really learn that much. I don't think there's that much new information they have that we don't. Because what. I mean, necessarily because Trump would have said it. I don't think he's capable of keeping his mouth shut.

[Mark Gagnon]

I think if it's gun to your head, which it literally probably is.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, they already tried that on him. They tried gun to his head.

[Mark Gagnon]

I think Secret Service is like, we will get you. We're here 24 hours a day.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

You leak with some of this shit. We will get you.

[Andrew Schulz]

I mean, I understand your point, and I'd like to validate it so you feel fulfilled.

[Akash Singh]

Thank you.

[Mark Gagnon]

Thank you. You're such a good partner.

[Andrew Schulz]

Now I'm going to give an example why I think you're completely. No, that's not fair.

[Mark Gagnon]

You can't do that. Then you're gaslighting.

[Andrew Schulz]

Damn, bro, I'd be practicing horrible Communication. Three times a week. When I come in and do podcast, that's literally all we do is disagree to give examples and metaphors. Wow. Anyway, is that why there's no female podcast?

[Mark Gagnon]

Is that why there's no female podcast?

[Andrew Schulz]

There's really none. It's so funny how many people. Well, who is it' Call her daddy.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, Cancelled.

[Andrew Schulz]

What's canceled?

[Mark Gagnon]

The. What's their. What's their names?

[Dove]

You're so gay knowing this.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, I know this.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's only true crime. True Crime is the only female podcast.

[Dove]

Horrible decisions.

[Andrew Schulz]

Horrible decisions.

[Mark Gagnon]

You're so gay for knowing that.

[Andrew Schulz]

But they're gay.

[Dove]

They're gay.

[Andrew Schulz]

So it's half guy.

[Dove]

It is half.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, it's true.

[Mark Gagnon]

It's.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't even consider that fully female.

[Dove]

Yeah, there's too much alpha going on in literally.

[Mark Gagnon]

Briana Chicken Fried had a pod, had.

[Andrew Schulz]

To shut it down. Second she started disagreeing with her friend. They're like, oh, we can't possibly have a podcast over do that. I'm like, that's when it gets hot. I just don't. There's no female podcast for this reason. This type of conversation just doesn't exist. Girls gotta eat.

[Akash Singh]

Giggly squad. That's one.

[Mark Gagnon]

Giggly squad.

[Andrew Schulz]

Giggly squad of shouts.

[Dove]

Oh, I like.

[Akash Singh]

I like Mel Robbins, the number three podcast in the world.

[Andrew Schulz]

Guys, I was making more of like a loose comment, but notice how you guys are disagreeing and giving examples and it's creating really fun moment for the pod. This is what we have to get women to understand.

[Akash Singh]

We need to validate you. Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Can you validate me? What does that even feel like?

[Akash Singh]

The president knows as much as us. There you go. I agree.

[Andrew Schulz]

You die. Wait, what? Why? I can't believe you said that. I'm agreeing with smelling arms.

[Akash Singh]

I'm agreeing with big old dude. Call me that.

[Andrew Schulz]

You smell fish fell. Go B. Some SM disgust me. The delta.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Schulz]

Had enough?

[Akash Singh]

Yes. The president doesn't know this. All the stuff.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm being dead serious right now. I think he knows, like, I think they tell him, like, if you're allowed to park there during the day, like, I think he got an app that's like, oh, they'll give you a ticket where like the rest of us, we gotta read the sign. I think that's the extent of the information that he has over us at this point right now.

[Akash Singh]

And even that's getting mitigated. Have you seen that AI app? You can just take a picture of a sign, it tells you if you can park There. That's how lazy we've gotten. What? Yeah, there's no way there's an app. Like, people don't want to read a sign, so they just take a picture of. And then the app's like, nah, you can't park.

[Andrew Schulz]

What do you mean, don't want to? We read it, but it's incredibly complicated.

[Mark Gagnon]

It's so confusing. I mean, it'll say, no parking Tuesday, Saturday, 8am to 2pm and then right below it, no parking anymore, anytime. And you'll be like, well, what the does that mean? Why'd you even have the top sign?

[Akash Singh]

That is a good point. That is a good point.

[Andrew Schulz]

You feel validated when he said, okay, you don't feel better when your boy frustrates, is frustrated, like, tries to create an argument. It's not as good. That's like a way better form of communication, don't you think?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah, I agree.

[Andrew Schulz]

All right, so, yeah, I just don't think that he has that much more information. Do you really think that he knows the Epstein lists outside of being there, outside of being on the island, like, frequently and, like, experiencing what that underage pun? I'mma not validate this one.

[Mark Gagnon]

I'mma not validate this one.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yo.

[Akash Singh]

What?

[Andrew Schulz]

You don't think he was dabbling in a smell you Delta smell?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, that was that.

[Andrew Schulz]

That underage pun. Come on, Al. I don't think he under girls, bro. I don' think he was getting after that. You guys think he was that smell. That.

[Akash Singh]

That.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's a Delta smell.

[Akash Singh]

Delta smell. That's why LA's on fire, cuz.

[Mark Gagnon]

That is bait when you go fishing.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, that's why I think lose that.

[Andrew Schulz]

I agree.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, you're right.

[Andrew Schulz]

That sucks, right? Yeah, it sucks to do this. Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Give me one thing. You think he knows that we don't? No.

[Akash Singh]

No.

[Andrew Schulz]

JFK assassination. Yeah, there's no way. Yeah, there's no way.

[Mark Gagnon]

I believe he knows.

[Andrew Schulz]

He would tell everyone the second he sat down with us. He was like, iran did it.

[Dove]

I think because we did it. He don't want to point that out.

[Andrew Schulz]

Wait, what would I say that again?

[Mark Gagnon]

We did.

[Dove]

Could have been like government, CIA.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, so he was protecting them.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, probably under threat.

[Al]

I think he'll talk after this round.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, that's also true. He needed. He needed a win.

[Dove]

He doesn't want his head to really go shot off.

[Andrew Schulz]

I agree with.

[Akash Singh]

I don't know if they give him historical files.

[Andrew Schulz]

Can you just not start the sentence with I agree with?

[Mark Gagnon]

Just see, thought exercise.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, yeah. Don't tell me you agree.

[Mark Gagnon]

I don't feel comfortable when you see that.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, I disagree with you. I don't think they tell them the historical files.

[Andrew Schulz]

I think they.

[Akash Singh]

I think they just tell him what's going on right now. They say, hey, Russia's trying to kill everybody. Yeah, that's what you got to know. And he goes, what about jfk? And they go, why are you bringing up.

[Andrew Schulz]

But what about Pearl Harbor? Did that even happen? Did that happen? Do you guys honestly think that happened? I think I've made this joke before.

[Mark Gagnon]

Walk me through it.

[Andrew Schulz]

They were trying to land, right? Like they were trying to land the planes. And that's. They just had never done it successfully, right? Like, oh, my God. That wasn't an attack.

[Akash Singh]

It was tourism.

[Mark Gagnon]

Kamikaze is just like fucking Japan Air trying to get.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, they're just trying to land the planes.

[Dove]

That's funny.

[Andrew Schulz]

And they just haven't figured that out yet. Societally. They were running on shingled roofs for 2,000 years. Then you come on plane, you're going to land it. They can't even say Wright Brothers.

[Akash Singh]

That was respectful.

[Mark Gagnon]

Hey, thanks.

[Andrew Schulz]

You did in the most respectful way.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, thank you.

[Andrew Schulz]

Do you have good color in your cheeks? I feel like you look good.

[Mark Gagnon]

Hey, thanks, man.

[Akash Singh]

This is the best you've looked in years. For real?

[Andrew Schulz]

I mean, no, for real. You do look great.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, thanks, man. Yeah, I need to be sick more often.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

And thanks for not coughing into your hands. That genuinely bugs me. If I see someone sneezing their hands.

[Andrew Schulz]

You need to shut up about how.

[Akash Singh]

That is a real thing. That's real, you nerd. No, I'm not contagious, cuz if I smell.

[Andrew Schulz]

Tell them out. What the hell is that? That's grandma out right there. Grandma Al. He's got some nerve boy coming around my house telling me I can't cough in my hands. I had these hands for 93 years. I cough in whatever hand I want, right? Yo, nurse is crazy.

[Mark Gagnon]

Nurse.

[Andrew Schulz]

Old granny. I like grandma out. That's fire.

[Dove]

Yeah, but you stink.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, I don't, I don't.

[Akash Singh]

I put on Old Spice before this, bro. Come on. My best.

[Dove]

Yes, I did. That's cancerous. You wouldn't put that on. You put beef towel.

[Mark Gagnon]

Do you not.

[Andrew Schulz]

Do not do it because of the. Someone told you it's cancerous.

[Akash Singh]

Well, I don't want the aluminums right on my lymph nodes.

[Dove]

Exactly.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, he's that.

[Dove]

He is so Williamsburg to the core.

[Andrew Schulz]

Like.

[Akash Singh]

No, I use natural. I use that. I. I Take like the essential oils.

[Andrew Schulz]

And I had to stop my wife from using that natural deodorant because she smelled natural.

[Akash Singh]

Exactly.

[Andrew Schulz]

See, I was like, yo, what is going on? She's like, there's a lot of hormones after pregnancy. I was like, right, Guard it. You need mail. You need mail. Something's going on with your armpits. This is. This is.

[Dove]

Something happened at my house. And I was like, nah, you need the aluminum.

[Andrew Schulz]

You need the aluminum. You gotta get the tinfoil out and wrap that arms.

[Akash Singh]

Yo.

[Andrew Schulz]

My wife would sleep like this and like with her head turned this way and be breathing that into my nose.

[Akash Singh]

Shoot.

[Andrew Schulz]

Nah, that's crazy.

[Akash Singh]

A natural woman. So they go full nch. And then you're like, whoa, who wants a natural woman?

[Andrew Schulz]

Illusion.

[Akash Singh]

See a girl with a BBL and huge tits and everyone's like, oh, I want a natural.

[Andrew Schulz]

They haven't figured the bbls out, but the rest of the they figured out.

[Dove]

They figured out.

[Andrew Schulz]

Filler's good.

[Dove]

The baby bbls.

[Andrew Schulz]

Show me a baby BBL that works.

[Akash Singh]

The thing is that I'm not googling that crazy. I'm not even getting close to my computer right now.

[Dove]

That is already.

[Andrew Schulz]

Type in baby. And let's see the next three letters that come on afterwards.

[Dove]

It's going to be good.

[Akash Singh]

You guys, what do you think?

[Andrew Schulz]

All right.

[Dove]

Yes, we do think that about.

[Akash Singh]

All right, ready? Here we go. Baby.

[Andrew Schulz]

Put. Baby bbl. No, just put it. If somebody actually created a website for that. That's a disgusting.

[Akash Singh]

Bbl. Baby is a hip hop song by Cash Patek.

[Andrew Schulz]

I feel like that's the CIA director.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, that's what I thought too.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. No, there's a mini bbl. That's what they call them in the biz.

[Mark Gagnon]

I got a pee.

[Andrew Schulz]

I mean, I can see how al that up. The issue. The issue. If we're actually going to discuss bbls on this, you know, high bar podcast. What is it? High brow podcast is the hip hips. They can't get the hips right. And then they try this.

[Dove]

That's nice.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's the same ass.

[Dove]

That's what the baby ones are. It's more about shape thing is not trying to get it too crazy.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay. If you already got ass, you're not part of the discussion.

[Dove]

No, they added some ass. There's some ass that was added there, clearly. Oh, that's nice.

[Andrew Schulz]

I mean, that. That one's good.

[Dove]

That's what I'm saying. The baby BBL is the new.

[Andrew Schulz]

But that girl already got ass. I think what they can do is they can take girls that have ass and move it around so it looks better.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

What I don't think they can do is take the girls have no ass and then add an ass on it without the hips.

[Dove]

Yeah, it looked. Yeah, it does look funny.

[Andrew Schulz]

But why haven't they figured that out yet? Why is the ass so much more difficult than tits or jaw or nose or all these other things?

[Akash Singh]

I sometimes don't think it's a surgeon, bro. I think it's girls going, give me the fattest thing possible.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, so they, it's their decisions.

[Akash Singh]

I think it's user error a little bit.

[Andrew Schulz]

Really?

[Dove]

Cuz when it first started it was like the bigger the better. Now it was starting to look a little ridiculous and now they're just perfecting in this now and not enough people get it.

[Andrew Schulz]

Call me crazy right now.

[Dove]

Crazy.

[Andrew Schulz]

Thank you. If you're a BBL surgeon, do you go like if you're a tattoo artist, do you go, I refuse to do that because it reflects on me. This is what I think will work for you. If you don't want this, then you have to go to somebody else to protect your brand. Because if you see a botch BBL out there and someone's like, it's this dot doctor, Nobody's going back to that doctor.

[Dove]

That's true. But I don't think they turned away to any.

[Andrew Schulz]

Any business.

[Dove]

Yeah. The nature of that game is you get one thing, you just keep coming.

[Andrew Schulz]

It is crazy to think like doctors are in the sales business. Yeah, right.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Like surgery.

[Mark Gagnon]

You don't need all that.

[Andrew Schulz]

Explain that a little bit more to me. I'm trying to think if there's something unethical about this.

[Mark Gagnon]

It is. I. I remember I broke my finger in college.

[Andrew Schulz]

I know you're not going to make this about your finger.

[Mark Gagnon]

Are you talking surgery? Only plastic surgery.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, why? What they say? How'd you break it?

[Mark Gagnon]

They said I. Exactly.

[Akash Singh]

Exactly.

[Dove]

His own ass.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's way more complicated. No, break it down, Break it down. Break it. So, oh, you were saying he was upcharging you for a.

[Mark Gagnon]

Well, no, then I. So I broke. They put a little. The cast on or whatever. Then they send me to a. Like a plastic surgeon and the plastic surgeon's like, yeah, you need surgery. It's going to be $4,000. And I'm like, all right, I guess. And then my mom was like, no, that we go get a second opinion from my uncle's friend who's like a hand bone specialist and he's like, surgery is not going to fix anything. You're still going to. It's still going to look fucked up afterward. You're just going to go through pain and money. You don't need to go through. Just leave a sling on it and that's it. Or, like, leave the cast on and that's it.

[Andrew Schulz]

How is that not considered medical malpractice?

[Mark Gagnon]

That's insane.

[Andrew Schulz]

They tried to tell my mom that she had to get her thyroid taken out.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's fucking crazy.

[Andrew Schulz]

And they're like, yeah, you probably won't be able to have kids after that. And she was like, what?

[Mark Gagnon]

They tried to tell my mom she needed a hysterectomy when she was, like, 35.

[Andrew Schulz]

Wow.

[Mark Gagnon]

Just remove the whole ovaries.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

The whole uterus. It's not true.

[Andrew Schulz]

They want to make your mom because that's why it's a hysterectomy.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. Yeah. The whole uterus. Take out the whole uterus.

[Andrew Schulz]

What'd you do in there?

[Mark Gagnon]

I don't know. I must have it up, to be honest. I did damage or my dad did.

[Andrew Schulz]

Fat ass kid. No, for real. They. And then she said, no, no.

[Mark Gagnon]

She was just like, I'm not. No, I'm not doing that. Like, that seems way too extreme. And then she ended up being fine.

[Andrew Schulz]

Wow.

[Mark Gagnon]

It's crazy.

[Andrew Schulz]

I feel like that should be medical malpractice.

[Mark Gagnon]

It absolutely should be.

[Andrew Schulz]

And they're doing it just because they could charge the insurance company whatever. They get paid off of it.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, we get paid crazy money, and that's it.

[Andrew Schulz]

Wow.

[Mark Gagnon]

And then you're just taking out a.

[Andrew Schulz]

Woman'S uterus, and there's got to be some doctors that have done, like, 20 or 30 of these cases. And then women are probably complaining about her. Dudes are complaining about it now, and nobody's talking about it. Yeah, that's some scumbag right there.

[Mark Gagnon]

Absolutely.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. I mean, that's the whole back surgery thing with the mangione.

[Andrew Schulz]

What happened with him?

[Akash Singh]

It was like, apparently there's, like, a back surgery racket that's going on.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay.

[Akash Singh]

Where, like, the saying is, like, the first back surgery is unnecessary, but the second one is necessary.

[Andrew Schulz]

And why is that?

[Mark Gagnon]

Fix what the first one did.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

And that, like, they're over prescribing medical intervention on back.

[Andrew Schulz]

So now you're doing. You're in this back surgery loop where you just constantly. I heard that about hip, too.

[Mark Gagnon]

Makes sense.

[Andrew Schulz]

Like, I think they've. They've found some version of correcting this, but essentially, like, you want to push off hip surgery as far as you can. Because. Because it needs to be resurfaced. I think it's called, like, every 10 years. So they were just chopping off your hip and then putting, like, a fake one in place now. And I think that they have, like, a better version of it. But. Yeah. What is the balance of that?

[Dove]

Like, if you're dentistry, they always rush into. Pull a tooth. They're rushing to the braces.

[Mark Gagnon]

First time, one of the dentists in LA, they said I had 10 fillings, and I was like, I'm freaking out again. My mom was like, go get a second opinion. Guy goes. He goes, you have two. Two cavities. We need a filler. Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

You gotta start in your family. I feel like you know so many doctors.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. Why are you going. Stop.

[Akash Singh]

Going outsource.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Okay. I. That.

[Akash Singh]

Keep it in network.

[Mark Gagnon]

This is all when I was in college.

[Akash Singh]

In network.

[Mark Gagnon]

Right out of college. Ever since then, I don't. Yeah. Only brown doctors. I don't trust anybody else. And I gotta know you.

[Andrew Schulz]

You trust the brown doctors.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Interesting.

[Mark Gagnon]

Shouts Omar. Omar's great.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Shouts.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

But that's it. Keep it in the family.

[Akash Singh]

See, this is what happened.

[Dove]

My doctor's bro and. Oh, well. Yeah, I guess we're both sick, so we can do that, you know, Shows you. He was like, do you work with Akashi? It's like.

[Al]

How do you say it?

[Dove]

Oh, yeah, I tried to do.

[Akash Singh]

Oh.

[Andrew Schulz]

Actually. Cool, cool Announcements. In the world of the greatest sport that's ever existed, and the only people that would disagree with it are the people that have not played it yet. And that is Paddle. The Reserve cup down in Miami. Reserve is this amazing paddle facility, but it's also a company that's, like, really being, like, the ambassadors of paddle.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

And they're put on this thing called the Reserve cup in Miami. And I'm gonna go down next week, like, Wednesday through Saturday. So I'm gonna go down there, I'm gonna get to be a captain of one of the teams.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's sick.

[Andrew Schulz]

Me and Derek Jeter.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's so fucking sick. That's so fucking far.

[Andrew Schulz]

And I got. I gotta tell Derek. I gotta say, listen, winner gets a gift basket. I think that's a very fair thing.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yes.

[Andrew Schulz]

To pitch to him. I'm also trying to find a way to pitch that to him.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Without that being our first interaction. He's a happily married man. He's got a beautiful family. But I want a gift basket, you know, Anyway, so. So.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

So that's going to be happening out there and if you want to see paddle at the highest level, if you're someone who like listen to pod, you like paddle. I think what's cool about this setup is so they have these teams that the players usually play with each other. Obviously it's a two on two sport but with this we can choose the teams through a lottery. So we can. The team could be different and could be teams that have never been.

[Mark Gagnon]

So it could be you and like a pro player.

[Andrew Schulz]

Well, there's going to do like pro am. There's going to be a charity. We're going to raise some money and you know, we should give the money to the fire.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, that'd be sick.

[Andrew Schulz]

That would be the right thing to do.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's sick.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, I suggested a different charity because that was before LA was on fire charity. It was, but it was still a charity. But yeah, we should actually do this.

[Mark Gagnon]

For 5 charity and then we decide which one's more worthy of the money.

[Andrew Schulz]

I was, I was going to say ivf, like fertility stuff.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Y man. But too bad for you guys, la's bir we got to rebuild some billionaires homes in Malibu. So anyway. But, but, but yeah, so that's going to be next week. Wednesday we're going to do the draft and then Thursday, Friday, Saturday they got the thing. So go down there and we need steak to be able to.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Gamble on, on paddle. That's what there's all these like all these guys that got money to do these like side matches where they're like putting real money on games. Really? Yeah. My thing is like I don't gamble on any. I actually enjoy doing. Yeah, because it will make it too enjoyable. Do you know how like fantasy football makes you so excited about teams you.

[Akash Singh]

Don'T even fucking care about?

[Andrew Schulz]

So I'm just like, I gotta stay away.

[Akash Singh]

But imagine you win a paddle game and like 10 grand.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't want to even think about that. I'll quit everything. I'll tell my wife, I'll be like, I think I figured it out for the next 40 years of my life. Anyway, so the reserve cup down there, you can go get tickets. I'm sure they'll put some kind of link. But like go check it out. It's a really awesome setup and they got it catered and it's beautiful. It's right there on the water. Or go, go check it. I think you guys really like it and they are great ambassadors for paddle. Like the guys who Involved really love the sport. Yeah, like there's no money in this sport right now. It's literally people who are obsessed with it and they're putting their own money up to make these things successful. So go check it out. I think it's going to be like the premier experience and I'll be there talking shit. So if you want to, matter of fact, if you want to get a game and get that ass kicked, I'll play you with my. A pro of my selection. I'll play any two people out there in Miami as long as I have a pro of my selection on my team.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's very fair.

[Andrew Schulz]

I feel like that's fair.

[Mark Gagnon]

Very fair.

[Andrew Schulz]

I might even put some money anyway. Okay, so outside in sports that are not as interesting and not as obsessive.

[Mark Gagnon]

There are some pretty much more niche sports.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, let's talk about the niche. Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

Oh, what's that?

[Mark Gagnon]

The playoffs are happening right now.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, there's a playoffs. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So tell us what's going on here. Yo, do we have some interesting scenarios? Is Akash been an oracle?

[Mark Gagnon]

No, actually I was wrong about the Texans. I thought they, they kind of limped into the playoffs, but they beat the out. Who did they play? I forget who they played. Chargers, The Charger. They beat the shit out of him. And then the LA Rams played the Minnesota Vikings, who everybody thought was like the second best team in the conference.

[Andrew Schulz]

Didn't you say Vikings could make it all the way?

[Mark Gagnon]

That's what everybody had convinced me and I, I hadn't, I hadn't watched this guy.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's not your fault.

[Mark Gagnon]

I watched this guy, Sam Darnold. I watched him one game early in the season. He's like a. He was drafted very highly and then really struggled in the pros. And then the Vikings are winning with him as quarterback. It's kind of like a one year of the year option, but they keep winning. And then I watch one game against the Colts and he doesn't look that good, but they win. So I'm like, whatever. I, that was middle of the year. And then I keep hearing about him and they keep winning. So I'm like, maybe I just happen to watch a bad game. Maybe they're really good people are picking them to go to the Super Bowl. I haven't been watching enough.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

I see him against Detroit, gets his ass beat. And then I see him this week get his ass beat again. And I'm like, well, this guy was exactly who the we all thought he was. You convinced us of something. Else, he's not that. Also, I think LA is playing for something now. They played LA and LA just throttled. So LA is playing the Eagles and I am an Eagles hater. I would love for LA to win. I don't know how long they can sustain this emotional thing.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

But I do think it's possible they have a cause that is unlike any other cause out there.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

So I think LA is a dark horse that is pretty scary in that sense.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay, so you choose la.

[Mark Gagnon]

So I would put. I would put LA to cover. I don't know what the spread is going to be. I imagine it's going to be fairly high.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

I put la. I. I hope Detroit wins. They should win. They're the seemingly best team in the league, probably. And then the afc, the best game is going to be the Ravens and the Bills. That's going to be the best game of the whole playoffs, I think, because these are two really good teams. Both quarterbacks are really good. They just can't beat Patrick Mahomes. And now they have this kind of reputation of being like playoff underachievers, but in reality they're just going up against Jordan.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

But then them two going head to head to see who could theoretically play Mahomes. It's going to be such a game.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay, so what do you got?

[Mark Gagnon]

So great games all around. I think I'm going to go with the Bills. I. I actually think the Bills, I think this is their year. I think to go to the super bowl. And then I think the Chiefs will win. The Texans look better than I thought, but I think the Chiefs will win.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay.

[Mark Gagnon]

So those, those are my picks. Also, the Cowboys coach basically just left. He just pieced.

[Andrew Schulz]

I thought he was. I thought he was.

[Mark Gagnon]

So his contract. So Jerry doesn't like paying any. Like, he wouldn't fire the coach last.

[Andrew Schulz]

Year he was saying that.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, Yeah, I believe. Yeah. So he just. His coach that should have been fired last year had a year left on the contract. He's like, well, instead of firing him and paying him and hiring another coach, I'll just let his contract run out and waste everybody's life for a year. And now his contract is up and they were trying to renegotiate. And the coach, from what I'm hearing, the coach was like, I'm good.

[Andrew Schulz]

This is Chip Kelly.

[Mark Gagnon]

This is Mike. Mike McCarthy.

[Andrew Schulz]

Sorry, Mike McCarthy. Why am I thinking Chip Kelly?

[Mark Gagnon]

So now the. I don't know. He's the offensive coordinator of the. Some college team. That's good. Ohio State.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay.

[Mark Gagnon]

But now the. The question is, who are the Cowboys going to get to be their coach?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

There's one option that excites me.

[Andrew Schulz]

Dion.

[Mark Gagnon]

Dion.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, wow.

[Mark Gagnon]

Dion. I'd be.

[Andrew Schulz]

So I thought there was interest in the Raiders job because I think they just fired Antonio Pierce, so.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Apparently Tom Brady's trying to get. Who actually probably will be the best coach is Ben Johnson from the Lions. He's their offensive coordinator.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay.

[Mark Gagnon]

Apparently Tom Brady's trying to get him. You know, it's funny. You get an owner who cares and knows how to win, things can change. But Ben John going to want 15 to 17 million a year. I don't think Jerry's going to pay that. Dion might not cost that much, but he has an $8 million buyout at Colorado. I don't know if the Cowboys owner is going to want to pay $8.

[Andrew Schulz]

Million in order for him to leave Colorado.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. So I don't know if that happens, but if that happened, I'd be excited. It'd be so fun. It'd be the most fun, you know?

[Andrew Schulz]

So what's so crazy with sports? Like, the amount of money the players are making now? $8 million is an absurd amount of money Money. Yeah, but when you said it, my knee jerk reaction was like, oh, well, why wouldn't the Cowboys just buy out?

[Mark Gagnon]

Well, also, the Cowboys are worth. They're the most valuable franchise in the planet.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

12 billion or whatever. So what's 8 million? But he just don't spend. He's like Donald Sterling now. He just don't spend money.

[Andrew Schulz]

Got it. Okay.

[Mark Gagnon]

Unless it's the place in St. Bart said he wants to stay up for a while, but.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, it's a great guy. He's a really great guy.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. Yeah. I feel the same way when he.

[Andrew Schulz]

Doesn'T own your team. No, that I believe.

[Mark Gagnon]

That I would love.

[Andrew Schulz]

Phenomenal.

[Mark Gagnon]

And I would love.

[Akash Singh]

Love.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

If I was like a Commander's fan or whatever, I'd love this.

[Andrew Schulz]

There's nothing that makes you feel more comfortable that when a league rivals owner and GM is partying in Saint Barks before the season.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

That. That makes.

[Mark Gagnon]

As he has no head coach.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway. Anyway, look, so if you're gonna put some money down, if you're gonna take the Akash picks, you're gonna go to Stake. Stake, Obviously, the leader in global betting. US Social casinos bet on top sports and political events. Use the promo code flagrant for your new welcome bonus. Now, let's get back to the show.

[Akash Singh]

Keep the aluminum off your limb lymph nodes. All right? Stop using all these chemicals. Do a coffee enema once or six times a day and you'll be fine. All right. Big medicine doesn't want you to know about the coffee enema. Okay. Detox your colon.

[Al]

What about you holding a laptop on your balls for the last four years?

[Akash Singh]

Not on my balls. I keep it intentionally off my sack. And I also don't ride that low. I'm staying pretty much perched the whole time. I am. It's true. I am a little kiwi. Just.

[Dove]

Just do it in a tub. Like where?

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm trying to understand.

[Akash Singh]

Shower.

[Mark Gagnon]

I think same shower.

[Andrew Schulz]

So you're standing.

[Mark Gagnon]

Standing in the doo doo.

[Akash Singh]

I mean, I think it's a laying down thing.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, goodness.

[Akash Singh]

I think it's laying.

[Mark Gagnon]

But then it's getting on her back.

[Andrew Schulz]

Doggy. She's got her legs up.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, I know. But then the. So where does the. Where does the contents go?

[Al]

Well, you lay with it probably down towards the drain.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, yeah.

[Akash Singh]

And then it's like cleaning out a jeep. Like, you got to be on the hill and then kind of just let.

[Mark Gagnon]

It all move out.

[Akash Singh]

I haven't asked. I haven't looked at. I mean, we can look into. I've been tagged in so many fucking Instagram posts.

[Andrew Schulz]

Show me what it looks like.

[Dove]

And then the, like, when there's gonna be like, chunks of poop that come out, does she gotta, like, smush it down?

[Akash Singh]

You got a waffle stomp a little bit, probably.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, my God.

[Dove]

Come on, man.

[Andrew Schulz]

Check your mess. Why is it up to me?

[Akash Singh]

No, why is it up to me?

[Andrew Schulz]

To make him a normal human being.

[Mark Gagnon]

I don't do it. I don't do it.

[Akash Singh]

I don't do it. Okay, here we go.

[Al]

Andrew did a lot of work he took out of Florida.

[Andrew Schulz]

You did as much as you could. We got him out.

[Akash Singh]

Look, we're biohacking. Look, you prepared?

[Mark Gagnon]

She got a French roast.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

This is crazy.

[Akash Singh]

You can pick the one you want. Okay. You do the French press pour over. Yeah, exactly. And then you get this little tube here.

[Andrew Schulz]

I've heard of people doing everything. Your liver is on your right side.

[Akash Singh]

So to me, laying on the right.

[Andrew Schulz]

Side makes a lot more sense.

[Akash Singh]

Yes.

[Mark Gagnon]

You just kind of lay bit in.

[Andrew Schulz]

Like, the fetal position. Your knees are tucked a little bit.

[Dove]

Oh, so she's side.

[Andrew Schulz]

Clearly, I'm not going to be showing this to you guys, so I hope this is enough of a visual for you. You're going to insert your lubricated Tip.

[Mark Gagnon]

All right, that part seems.

[Akash Singh]

Come on, that night. You have to say that part.

[Andrew Schulz]

I know.

[Dove]

She was lubing it up too.

[Andrew Schulz]

Did your mom have issue with constipation?

[Akash Singh]

I've never asked. I don't. I don't know. The. The nature.

[Andrew Schulz]

I mean, there must be impetus.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, I've genuinely. It doesn't get discussed in the home.

[Andrew Schulz]

Has she ever tried just drinking coffee? Like, that's pretty effective. It works very well if the issue is constip. Patient.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, I mean, she does do that. Yeah, I think she's taking it both ways.

[Andrew Schulz]

Just like your grandma.

[Akash Singh]

Crackly sprints.

[Dove]

Wait, how'd you find out?

[Akash Singh]

I just saw a giant bag in the. In the shower.

[Dove]

So you asked her about it?

[Akash Singh]

No, I asked one of my siblings, and I was like, yo, what is that bag? And they're like, oh, coffee enema. And I said, all right, well, I guess we'll never talk about that until.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm on this podcast.

[Akash Singh]

I'll just keep that a family secret until many people watch. And here we are.

[Mark Gagnon]

I love this.

[Andrew Schulz]

She makes sounds like, do you? No. Why are you at breakfast?

[Akash Singh]

Why is that even part of it? She's not at the table.

[Andrew Schulz]

Stop, Stop.

[Akash Singh]

What the heck?

[Andrew Schulz]

I need to know what sound she makes, bro. That's important to me. With all due respect. With all due respect, I need to know his sound.

[Akash Singh]

No, there's no sound problem.

[Andrew Schulz]

To muffle it. What do you mean? Does she throw, like, the towel over her mouth and you just hear like.

[Akash Singh]

No, no one bites the pillow. It's not the whole thing.

[Andrew Schulz]

Not bite it, but like, does she try to, you know. You know in like, the Denzel movies where you throw the pillow over the mouth before you.

[Akash Singh]

Yes, I agree with you begrudgingly and unfortunately, Mom, I agree with you fully. Okay. I've never tried.

[Mark Gagnon]

You should try one for the pod, dude.

[Akash Singh]

They can help relieve constipation. They can detox bacteria, parasites, and heavy metals. They can boost immunity. And there's no scientific evidence that the port. All right, but anti aging also. There's anti aging. There's a whole bunch of benefits.

[Andrew Schulz]

Coffee enema, huh? Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. I'm just saying, look into it. Your guys families are getting over prescribed.

[Andrew Schulz]

My mom has a different version of that. She just drinks scotch until she passes out. And that pretty much works. Drink scotch until you pass out and then fire off some gnarly email. What enema is that?

[Akash Singh]

That's a different purging. It's a different type of.

[Andrew Schulz]

Does that destroy your family dynamic?

[Akash Singh]

It's A different everyone needs their own thing.

[Al]

Okay, Got it.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

[Akash Singh]

Get away from big medicine.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, but that is actually really effective if you guys, have you ever tried that one? Like if your mom's struggling, just feed her scotch at four in the morning and then check your email the first thing you wake up and see who else is cc'd in it. That's, that's nice. Oh, my wife. That's cool. You definitely gotta hear these feelings.

[Akash Singh]

They should do that as a therapy. Everyone gets shitfaced and then they really start talking. Yeah, right. Like every therapy I've ever been in is fully sober.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

And they go, that's a problem. How do you feel? And I go, I feel.

[Andrew Schulz]

You don't go loose to therapy.

[Akash Singh]

No, I should.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, I always, I'm always.

[Akash Singh]

Are you serious?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, I be making shit up. Like you, you pregame. Oh yeah, yeah, I have a couple shots of repo and then let's purge this shit. I be making shit up too. Yeah, my fucking grandfather touched me and then three weeks later be like, yeah, my grandparents all died before I was born. Like, yeah, I was hammered.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, I was hammered, bro.

[Andrew Schulz]

You just got to keep it interesting. Eventually you get through all your trauma and you're like, well, I don't want to let them down. They need this every week, you know?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

What would they do? What would they do, Akash, Continue to.

[Mark Gagnon]

Listen to you and make money?

[Andrew Schulz]

You think they do that? You think therapists do that at all? You think they're like trying to like, I can't fix them too quick?

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh yeah, let's stretch this out a little bit.

[Akash Singh]

I mean maybe those therapy sessions are mad short. I remember I went to one and they're like, all right, it's an hour long sesh. And they go, well, technically it's 50 minutes. And then the first eight minutes is how you doing?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

And the last five minutes, debrief. So you got 30 minutes to unpack your entire life trauma.

[Andrew Schulz]

Isn't it funny when the time is, is about to run out and they gotta like politely start talking about some heavy.

[Mark Gagnon]

The two end of this. Like you see them kind of clocking and being like, oh, so that, that must have been devastating.

[Andrew Schulz]

So I, I don't know if we have enough time to figure this out. And you're like, I'm getting molested right now. I don't have another week to deal with this. They're, they're magnificent at buttoning it up, huh?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, we should talk to a therapist about that. What is. What is the. What is the gnarliest thing that you've had to button up because there wasn't enough time?

[Akash Singh]

Oh, yeah. Well, I think people also kind of do that on purpose. They see the clocks running out and they're like, all right, let me just dump some shit. And then keep it moving.

[Andrew Schulz]

Hell, yeah.

[Akash Singh]

And so they just get it all out and they're like, yeah, I talked about it. But then they don't actually work on it. Then they keep it pushing.

[Dove]

Sounds like that's what you do.

[Akash Singh]

Of course that's. You got to just dump right at the end.

[Mark Gagnon]

Your therapists don't just remember the next week you told me you got in the ass by the end of the session.

[Andrew Schulz]

How could they remember? That's the thing. No day remember. Yeah, but, like, it don't ever look like they got it. Dewey decimal. You know, they got 15 different people who are. That they're talking to every single. There's no way that those stories don't kind of cross. Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

I mean, that could happen.

[Andrew Schulz]

Have you ever had your therapist think that your story was someone else's?

[Mark Gagnon]

No, that would be crazy.

[Andrew Schulz]

Bring it up. That's crazy. And then just go in there for two months. You never did that.

[Akash Singh]

So you try to kill yourself. You're like, maybe, man, it was crazy. I was drunk. I don't even remember.

[Andrew Schulz]

I had the toaster in the oven and everything. In the oven? In the bath.

[Akash Singh]

That is double suicide, bro. Sylvia Platt with the toaster.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's crazy. Yeah, we gotta have. We gotta talk to a therapist, but I guess there's. Oh, that was the question I want to ask. Is HIPAA that rule where you basically can't share medical.

[Akash Singh]

What is it?

[Andrew Schulz]

Medical procedures or medical history? Information.

[Mark Gagnon]

History. Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Can you share the thing that has happened and just not the person.

[Mark Gagnon]

I have a patient. If you ever hear doctors, I have a patient came in with.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Mark Gagnon]

You just can't say who it is.

[Andrew Schulz]

Got it, got it, got it. Can't be too specific, because then you would know. Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

You know what I mean?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

A patient with back pain to kill the guy.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Dove]

He's a CEO.

[Andrew Schulz]

We're gonna know.

[Akash Singh]

Wait a second. Sounds familiar. But.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

I also don't believe that anytime a doctor's like, oh, I have a patient that's just like a comic being like, well, today, like, oh, that's their. Today I was walking down. Really? Really.

[Dove]

I don't know. Behind closed doors, there's.

[Mark Gagnon]

Took it over to.

[Andrew Schulz]

They're talking about patience.

[Dove]

Oh, yeah, that would happen all the time.

[Andrew Schulz]

They're talking.

[Dove]

Yeah, he talks about the patients by name. Give them a nickname. Some shitty name was. I'm up, right?

[Andrew Schulz]

I'll be honest, when you took that breath right there, I didn't have any air left in the room. That was such a strong breath. I can't breathe for a moment. There was nothing left. I can't breathe. Yeah, that pisses me off too, when I fart in bed, but my wife gets the first smell of it.

[Akash Singh]

God damn.

[Andrew Schulz]

Like, she don't leave me.

[Mark Gagnon]

How greedy.

[Andrew Schulz]

Dude, do you guys get up?

[Mark Gagnon]

Do you have selfish.

[Andrew Schulz]

Like, I want that first smell of it. I want the first bite. Like, you know, when you get dessert, you're like, yo, let me at least get the first bite. You never have a fart. And you're like, oh, I'm ready. And then your wife is just like. And now you got the remnant, I got the crumbs, bro.

[Al]

What?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, like, I get pissed at her for that. She's like, why'd you fart? I'm like, why'd you take it all in? Let me take it all and there'll be nothing left for you. Can you hold your breath for two seconds? You heard it come out?

[Dove]

No, I get way more enjoyment of the guessing game. Like, did I fart or didn't I fart? And then if she smelled it, then I fart that time. He's like, oh, she got smell.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, no. When I fart, if she thinks the neighbors are, like, moving furniture around, there's no question. Fart.

[Akash Singh]

That would never happen. Anytime someone farts in my house, I'm like, is this a coffee shop? Smells like a Starbucks.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's an espresso.

[Akash Singh]

It smells amazing.

[Dove]

You're the most curious person and you have not actually bothered about this. This is crazy. You speak to crazy people on the street every day.

[Andrew Schulz]

You gotta ask your mom. Yo, can we call your mom real quick and just ask her about the coffee enemas?

[Akash Singh]

No, no. Come on. For shits and games. That's too purse. Because then she'll be like, oh, you're talking about me.

[Al]

Hopefully she never watches the pod.

[Akash Singh]

Well, now she will.

[Mark Gagnon]

It's gonna come back to it.

[Andrew Schulz]

I honestly don't think it's that bad. I'm sure she believes in this. I don't think that she's embarrassed one bit about. Doesn't strike me as someone who does things regularly and is embarrassed by that. That's fair, right?

[Akash Singh]

Like, I mean, maybe. I don't know.

[Andrew Schulz]

I mean, we could just see how it goes and then cut it from the pot if it's something you feel uncomfortable with or she feels.

[Akash Singh]

We'll just see. We'll just see.

[Dove]

Yeah, this is going to be good.

[Andrew Schulz]

Cuz maybe we should all be doing it. I mean, obviously.

[Dove]

Yeah. She could.

[Andrew Schulz]

Put some coffee.

[Akash Singh]

I would just turn up.

[Andrew Schulz]

Turn up volume. We don't have volume. And then put it by your mic.

[Akash Singh]

I just had a question. Okay. I'm. I'm here with some. My friends. Right. And. And by no means do you have.

[Andrew Schulz]

Hi, Mrs. Gagnon.

[Mark Gagnon]

Hi, Ms. Gagnon.

[Akash Singh]

Everyone says hi. You don't have to talk about this. If you wouldn't.

[Andrew Schulz]

If you feel uncomfortable, you don't have to say a singular thing. But Mark keeps talking about the coffee enemas, and we need to know what the benefits.

[Akash Singh]

These guys don't believe in the benefits of coffee enemas. And I said, oh, no, I think there are a lot of benefits. And I wanted to ask you, are there any benefits to coffee enemas if you're willing to talk about it?

[Andrew Schulz]

It increases glutathione, detoxes your liver.

[Akash Singh]

Detox your liver increases glutathione.

[Andrew Schulz]

Good things.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Glutathione, being a master antioxidant, was used, I think, originally during World War II or after.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, I think before World War II for pain management.

[Akash Singh]

So people been doing this for 60, 70 years? Maybe even longer.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. It's not new.

[Akash Singh]

Not new at all.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay, so now, Mrs. Gagnon, it's Schultz. How do you create the time to do it without, like, everybody knowing that that's what's happening? Why do you have to hide it? That's what. That's what I'm talking about. We knew you wouldn't be embarrassed about that.

[Akash Singh]

You'd be embarrassed to talk about it.

[Andrew Schulz]

Mom, but do you go to the bathroom? Is it, like. Is it something you could do public? How is it done? You definitely don't do it publicly.

[Mark Gagnon]

You do it in the privacy of your own bathroom.

[Andrew Schulz]

Like, if you were going to take.

[Mark Gagnon]

A shower, you know?

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay. We once walked into the bathroom here, and Mark had his legs in the air. And we're like, what the hell is going on? And there was no anima. We were just like, why are you.

[Akash Singh]

This is not a true story.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's. I would never do that.

[Mark Gagnon]

You lie.

[Andrew Schulz]

You do lie. I know you lie. She's like, I know you're lying. Mark, shower.

[Akash Singh]

All right, well, this has been helpful. Thank you so much.

[Andrew Schulz]

Bye.

[Mark Gagnon]

Bye, Ms. Gag.

[Dove]

Thank you, Ms. Gag.

[Andrew Schulz]

Mold. Free coffee. If you want to try it, I can give you all tips. Yes, we're all.

[Akash Singh]

We're going to try. We're going to try.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. We want the tip. All right.

[Akash Singh]

Thank you.

[Andrew Schulz]

Bye. See, I knew it was going to be a normal, rational discussion.

[Mark Gagnon]

She's very confident in herself.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

If Mark's mom does anything, she is 1000% confident in it.

[Al]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

She's already processed the judgment and dealt with it, and then she is out there in the world. Yeah. So she's.

[Akash Singh]

Why is there anything to be ashamed of?

[Andrew Schulz]

There's nothing to be ashamed of. Plug Alex up.

[Akash Singh]

You can't even handle.

[Andrew Schulz]

We gotta plug you up, dude. We have to try it. We have to try it.

[Dove]

As crazy as I might try that.

[Akash Singh]

We'Re gonna try it.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm like, I'm already on the bidet.

[Dove]

It's the same shit.

[Andrew Schulz]

How is it.

[Akash Singh]

You know what I mean? How different, really is it?

[Andrew Schulz]

It's not different at all.

[Akash Singh]

Exactly.

[Al]

We all did it together.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yes.

[Akash Singh]

I think we should all do it like a hookah. We get eight of them lined up. Just fucking let it rip, dude.

[Andrew Schulz]

Octopus.

[Akash Singh]

That'd be fire. See, we're gonna get so healthy.

[Andrew Schulz]

We might need a hookah for the pod. That could be a nice little vibe. Fire.

[Dove]

I've been listening to Bad Bunny. That shit would be fire.

[Andrew Schulz]

That is a good idea. It's nice for Vi. Would that affect your asthma?

[Mark Gagnon]

Smoking?

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm good, but just being around the smoke, I'm good.

[Akash Singh]

You sure?

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Dove]

Why can't you smoke it?

[Andrew Schulz]

He has asthma, can't breathe. His body isn't built to be a human.

[Dove]

You don't take it in. You just like.

[Andrew Schulz]

No. What's the.

[Dove]

With, like, with hookahs that they say you're not inhaling, but you're inhaling.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, you're not inhaling. How you.

[Dove]

Once it goes in your lungs, isn't that inhale?

[Andrew Schulz]

I mean, like, do you inhale gum? What you just put in your mouth? You don't.

[Dove]

No, you go. It goes down and then it goes back up.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, no.

[Dove]

Yes. Yes, you do.

[Andrew Schulz]

You don't have to do that.

[Al]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

There a choice.

[Dove]

Oh, well, then all the people in the Heights and every place that smokes hookah and clubs, they're inhaling it because in order to get that big cloud smoke, you have to.

[Andrew Schulz]

I feel like you're explaining and justifying right now instead of just making me feel understood in what I'm suggesting. Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

This I can't do.

[Andrew Schulz]

I can't do it.

[Akash Singh]

It's like a cigar. You don't in a cigar. You just put it in your mouth.

[Andrew Schulz]

Al does. Al doesn't know how to not swallow. He just doesn't know how to not.

[Dove]

Cigars I could do, but no. What Hookah. You're supposed to.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, you're not.

[Dove]

Yes, you are.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, you're not.

[Dove]

I guarantee you're supposed to.

[Andrew Schulz]

I promise.

[Dove]

I think you're smoking.

[Al]

You can do it both ways.

[Andrew Schulz]

You can do it both ways. But it's obviously worse for human. It's worse for you if you inhale it health wise. Yeah. If you want the flavor, just take it in and blow it out.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Dove]

But then you're not going to get a big cloud.

[Akash Singh]

Oh, my God. The point cloud.

[Andrew Schulz]

The big cloud. N. It is all fun. I don't even like doing if there's wind around. Yeah. Like, you can't blow the O's. Yeah.

[Dove]

You can't have fun with it. That's the point of it.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

I've never actually done a hookah. I've never been like, oh, let's all sit and do it.

[Mark Gagnon]

We did in Morocco.

[Akash Singh]

It's so. But it's like, I feel like it wasn't like I.

[Andrew Schulz]

Why don't you take back what you just said?

[Akash Singh]

I know you just.

[Andrew Schulz]

Why don't you start? Why don't you? Your mom was right.

[Mark Gagnon]

Crazy.

[Andrew Schulz]

She threw a dagger at my face. I thought she was talking to me. She's talking to Mark.

[Akash Singh]

You're get an email.

[Andrew Schulz]

You'll get an email.

[Akash Singh]

She'll hit you. Why she even have to bring that up, yo?

[Andrew Schulz]

Cuz she kept it a buck. She was like, they trying to set me up. Watch me double down on this right now.

[Akash Singh]

She'll do a hookah with us.

[Andrew Schulz]

What do you lie about to your mom? What do we need? What is that?

[Akash Singh]

Trying to think.

[Andrew Schulz]

I feel like Mark is not a liar.

[Dove]

No.

[Andrew Schulz]

I feel like him in a couple. What is to me, you're somebody who strikes me as someone who does not like to lie to the point where you actually have like, uncomfortable conversations because you feel uncomfortable lying.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, I, I, I don't like to. I don't like to lie, but like, in my mind, I would create a reality that's not actually real.

[Andrew Schulz]

Can you give a. I've never spoke hookah. You did say that out loud.

[Akash Singh]

Because in my mind I'm like, I didn't like, sit down and be like, I'm going to chief this hookah. I like hit it one time. I was like, this is weird. I never, like, enjoyed it. I guess that's. That's probably more accurate to say I.

[Andrew Schulz]

Didn'T cheat on you. That's what you.

[Akash Singh]

Exactly.

[Andrew Schulz]

Cheating is enjoying it.

[Akash Singh]

Exactly. I was reluctantly.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

Having sex with this model. I didn't want this, but yeah. I. I don't know. I don't. You. You don't get uncomfortable lying? You say a lie and you feel like. And then it just ruminates in your head forever. And then you're like, I should call my friends in high school and be like, hey, man, that actually wasn't true.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, but the first half. Yes.

[Mark Gagnon]

Okay.

[Andrew Schulz]

But I. This is what I think this is. The discomfort with the lie. There's obviously, like, the moral that starts chipping away you a little bit. You're like, am I going to get some bad karma for this? I'm doing something that's wrong. The other thing is the anxiety and exhaustion of keeping the lie going.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

I think is worse than just admitting. Ah. Actually, I did. I. I did do that.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Like that. Keeping the lie going is. Look at how unrelatable this is to Al right now sitting there. I was trying to understand, like, it was the coffee and. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. So you don't just maintain this lie for the rest of your life.

[Dove]

Like, don't put that up. No, I was going to follow up with, like, what about white lies? Like, if somebody's like. Like, if somebody calls me, I'm like, oh, I'm busy right now. Let me hit you back. But I'm not busy. I just don't want to talk to that person.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Dove]

What about those lies? Is that bad? Because I do those all the time.

[Andrew Schulz]

Took me about six months to realize that's how Charlamagne gets off the phone when we first met. Oh, yeah. He's like, oh, shit, let me call you right back. I'm like, all right, bet. And I'm just sitting there waiting for this call. Can we go to dinner? I'm like, nah, I got this call. Charlamagne. Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

I learned that from him. I learned that from him. Yeah. Like, I'll do that sometimes. And then I regret doing it almost every time. It's like, I'll just lie to keep the combo going. People be like, oh, have you seen this movie? And I'll be like, yeah. And then, like, they'll talk about it at length with me. And I'm like, faking the combo. And I'm like. And then I'll. An hour later, I'll call and be like, by the way, I never saw a movie. I'm sorry that I even said that. Like, I was just kind of. I thought you were going to go somewhere else and I just said yes and then I regret it. And I wish I could have just been like, no, I haven't seen it tumble and it would have made life so much easier. But instead I was like, yeah, yeah, I've seen it, sure, whatever makes me.

[Dove]

Comfortable sitting like that.

[Andrew Schulz]

Tell me, tell me more about how that makes you feel uncomfortable.

[Dove]

You're like too interested.

[Mark Gagnon]

You don't like being interested in what he has to say.

[Akash Singh]

I'm like.

[Andrew Schulz]

All right guys, let's take a break for a second. I, I have a game changing situation right here. I, it is crumpled up because I've already devoured it. These are the David protein bars. But before you say anything, just let me, let me just state right now, okay? This will be the biggest protein bar on the planet. It'll be the protein bar that everybody just consumes because it's very simple. Not only does it taste delicious, it's going to give you more protein than any other bar. That's why we're eating it. We're not eating the protein bar because we're like, you know what, I don't want to go out to dinner with my boys. I'd rather just have a protein bar. No, no, we want the fucking protein. Okay?

[Mark Gagnon]

Most protein with the least calories.

[Andrew Schulz]

Exactly. That's the other thing. You have some of these other protein bars, but it's really all calories. So you're just eating a cookie. Give me the cookie. If that's the case, the protein bar. This again. I've ALREADY DEVOURED IT. 28 grams. Find me another one.

[Mark Gagnon]

150 calories. 28 grams.

[Andrew Schulz]

Find me another one. With 150 calories and 28 grams of protein.

[Mark Gagnon]

You can get like a 30 gram bar with like 300 calories. 353 ice cream. Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Honestly, like there's so many better things you could eat if you don't care about the amount of calories in it. We care about the most protein that we can get and the least amount of calories. We're all trying to do this stupid thing where we like eat our weight in protein or whatever else is going to kill us by the time we're 50. What you need to do right now is get the most protein, the least amount of calories. Okay?

[Mark Gagnon]

No sugar in this bar.

[Andrew Schulz]

Is there no sugar?

[Mark Gagnon]

No sugar.

[Andrew Schulz]

Adequate protein intake is critical for building and preserving Muscle mass now. And as we age, apparently if you build muscle mass, it helps you live longer. Your bones are more dense. It's like the best thing you could do or whatever. I don't care. I get annoyed. I don't want to try to find these, like some. Even the protein shakes that I have, like, I feel weird when I drink them. Like, my body, I don't know what, something happens internally that I don't like. I eat the David bar. I feel like I'm getting my protein, Obviously, I'm getting my gains. Okay, you know what's going on over here? David comes in six delicious flavors and they're all worth trying. Also, if you buy four cartons, you'll get a fifth one for free. And if you're curious, all you got to do is just go try it for yourself. Davidprotein.com flagrant. It will be the premier protein bar on the planet. Mark my words. Right now, you will see that gold. Look at this. See that gold right there? You're going to see it. You can see in every store that you walk into, you're going to buy when you're going to consume it, you're not going to get fat and you're going to get muscles. You're welcome. Let's get back to the show. All right, guys, let's take a break for a second. Listen, okay, let's just be honest, okay? A lot of homeowners right now, they're struggling with debt. You know, maybe they're upside down and their mortgage, you know, maybe you got credit card debt that's piling up and it can only get higher because of inflation and what you're feeling. You want to go out there, find a CEO, shoot them in the back of the head. That's not what you should do. I do not suggest that at all. I get the feeling, the sentiment. You look up, Google the names of them. You find one that lives in your area. You wait till they're going to Pinkberry when they're walking out with a nice cup of frozen yogurt and some Oreo cookie crumbles on the top. You walk up behind them with a 9 millimeter gun and you blast a hole from the back of their head through the front.

[Mark Gagnon]

Not a good idea.

[Andrew Schulz]

Don't do that. That's a horrible idea. Okay, what is this? Here's a better idea. American Financing. American financing can help. They give you loans using your home's equity. It's a family owned company that's been around for a quarter century. Okay? Their mortgage Consultants are also salary based, so there's no financial incentive to put you into a shitty loan just so they can make a commission. That's very important. If things think it's worth saying again, their loan people are salary based. They're not trying to just throw you into loan so they can add a pool to their house. They're salary based. Okay. They're not going to put you in a shitty loan just so they can make some money. Customers save $800 a month on average, and you won't be charged for any upfront or hidden fees. Okay. But don't just trust us, do your own research. You can check out american financing.net flagrant or call 1-800-852-2010 to learn how homeowners are saving $800,000 a month on average. Now let's get back to the show. Dub doesn't lie. He doesn't like lying. Yeah, but you have that. This is where I think like a religious background is very helpful because it's like this nudge in an ethical or moral direction. So, like, I can see the concern you have about lying now. He'll go as close to lying as you possibly can. He'll like say a bunch of words that don't really mean anything and he'll get the thing that he needs, but he doesn't lie to get it. He won't straight up say something that's not true. Is that a fair, accurate statement? Like, you won't be like, oh, this horrible disaster happened, I need this thing, please help me. Right, that's a little too far. You're right, you're right.

[Al]

I won't cross that.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, but omission. I'll do that sometimes.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, yeah. You just try to be as honest as you can and then, you know.

[Akash Singh]

Shockingly works out like, Like I've one time, this is like a year ago, but like there was a spot, it was like super. On the super far away. It was like a show I didn't want to do.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

And it was super late and it was cold and I was like, I, I don't feel like doing this. And the dude was like, hey man, you're gonna be here in like an hour or something. I was like, my bike broke. No, I can't say that. I was like, I got, I slipped now. I was like thinking of all these justifications. I just hit him. I was like, hey man, I'm just exhausted. I just can't. And he goes, yeah, no, it's totally fine.

[Andrew Schulz]

See?

[Akash Singh]

And it worked.

[Andrew Schulz]

Out. Great.

[Dove]

But isn't omission just as bad?

[Andrew Schulz]

This is where. This is where it gets into the discussion of maintaining the omission is almost as bad as maintaining the lie. So, like, my wife goes, oh, what'd you guys do last night? I forget where we were. We went to strip club or something like that. We're in Hawaii, right? And I was like, ah, we went to some strip club.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

I could say, oh, we went to dinner, and then we partied this thing, and then we went home. But it's like, we didn't exactly do that. So if I dragged. And then she goes, oh, well, what happened after? Oh, but this funny story. You know what I mean? And it's just like, if I just say we did this thing, which I didn't do anything bad at the strip club.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Then it's perfect. Yeah.

[Dove]

How was Hawaiian strip clubs, bro? We wide back.

[Andrew Schulz]

We. No, no, no, no, no, no. They weren just a bunch of Samoan girls, like, testing the integrity of the Best Buy employees.

[Al]

No, no, no.

[Andrew Schulz]

But we did some shit at this, like, it's not even strip club. It's like, what is it called? They're like, we're so gay.

[Akash Singh]

This.

[Dove]

This is sounding like a brothel.

[Akash Singh]

So. Yeah, this is going to blow your mind. There's a.

[Andrew Schulz]

You know how, like, in Asian cultures, they don't really know how to, like, talk to women. So what they do is they commodify it, right? And they're like, there's like a. There's like a Korean experience where you go to a place and then they just have girls there to talk to you. And it's called a host host club or something like that. And it's basically a bunch of, like, Asian businessmen go there and they talk and they kind of do their deals, but there's, like, girls around, right? And so this guy who was, like, taking us around, I say, he's like, do you guys want to, like, see this, like, Korean cultural experience? And we're like, well, yeah, all right. That sounds, like, really weird. So we're in this room, and it's just awkward. Cause we're not Koreans doing business. We're just sitting around. There's a pole in the middle of the thing, but we're kind of talking, and then we just go, yo, put on the Hamilton soundtrack. We want these girls dancing to dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. And at first, they didn't know how to dance to it. So then we started singing and dancing. Disney mix. Disney songs mixed with Hamilton.

[Akash Singh]

Bro.

[Andrew Schulz]

Bro.

[Akash Singh]

At one point, five of us were standing up on the pole singing.

[Andrew Schulz]

Girls were sitting down, drinking, depressed. They didn't know what to do.

[Akash Singh]

They didn't know what to do.

[Andrew Schulz]

How does a bastard orphan son of a. And a Scotsman dropped in.

[Akash Singh]

It was like 30 minutes of it. And they were just sitting there like water. Do we leave? Like, are we getting paid? Like, what is happening?

[Andrew Schulz]

They had no clue what was going on. To the point they just started taking their clothes off. We're like, no, no, we're good. Just keep your clothes on. We're going to dance. These songs, do you know the words we put on Frozen? One of these little 12 year olds was like, oh, I got this one. They were not 12.

[Dove]

Today's men, bro.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, we're respectful.

[Akash Singh]

This is what the red pills complaining about, bro. It was so embarrassing. And then I was DJing and we got the vibe back. Like I was like playing like just regular rap music and like it was. The vibe was sick. And then like 10 minutes in, I swam right back to Hamilton and one of the girls just left.

[Andrew Schulz]

I think we're the first dudes to walk a stripper establishment, bro. She's on a pole trying to dance. All. And then you just hear, I can show you.

[Mark Gagnon]

She just love that, by the way. Thank you, dude.

[Andrew Schulz]

Thank you, dude. Bro, that was fun. Wow.

[Akash Singh]

But isn't it so much better to tell the truth? Truth and then it's fine. And if you don't want to tell the truth and maybe what you're doing you shouldn't do, so you just stay in front of it and everything works out okay.

[Dove]

What about the example I gave?

[Mark Gagnon]

Or have a mission.

[Akash Singh]

But you could just be like, hey, I'm super exhausted right now. Can I call you back tomorrow?

[Dove]

That's a lie.

[Akash Singh]

Wait, what?

[Andrew Schulz]

No.

[Dove]

What if I just don't want to talk to the person?

[Akash Singh]

Why not?

[Andrew Schulz]

Don't pick up the phone.

[Dove]

Oh, that's true. But what if, okay, let's say hypothetically, I picked it up. I thought it was going to be a quick call, but if turns out.

[Mark Gagnon]

To be longer, the best thing to say, even though it's hard, is to be like, you know, I'm just kind of done talking.

[Dove]

That's.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's the best.

[Akash Singh]

No, that's.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's honest. That.

[Akash Singh]

That's honest.

[Andrew Schulz]

That hurts.

[Akash Singh]

I think that's the best.

[Mark Gagnon]

I feel like talking right now.

[Akash Singh]

I think that's actually the best.

[Dove]

Oh, yeah. Horrible.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah, Just try that. Try it.

[Andrew Schulz]

Have you ever tried that?

[Mark Gagnon]

No. I'm a liar. I'm a big liar. I gotta get going.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, I don't.

[Mark Gagnon]

I, I want to get going.

[Andrew Schulz]

What's the biggest omission or white lie that you've told your wife?

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh God.

[Akash Singh]

I mean just anytime I'm coming home.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

And it's so dumb cuz I do it every time.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

She goes, hey, what time are you coming home? And then I know she wants me to be home at like 7, so I'll be like, oh yeah, I'll be home like you know, 6:45, 7. And then I'm, I walk in the door at 8:30 and she goes, why, where were you? And I was like, I just lied to you. And she goes, why didn't you tell me the truth? I wouldn't have cared. I just wanted to know what time you'd be home. I go, I, I'd like to lie. I don't know. I like, I just, I'm a liar. I couldn't help.

[Mark Gagnon]

I don't trust you with the truth that I'm having fun for a little.

[Akash Singh]

Bit longer without you every time. And I just, I do it. And she goes, I genuinely don't care what time you're going to be home. Just tell me the actual too. At the actual time.

[Andrew Schulz]

They say that until you tell them the actual time. They're like that late. I thought we were going to have a night together.

[Akash Singh]

I've never even tried.

[Andrew Schulz]

You.

[Mark Gagnon]

Thank you.

[Andrew Schulz]

They make us lie.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yes.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't want to lie. Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

You put me in a corner.

[Andrew Schulz]

You ever say like an hour later to give yourself cushion and then as the time approaches, you're like, I got a whole hour. Even when you try to get ahead of it, you're like, I got all the time in the world. Instead of going to be home at 8:30. Yeah. It's almost like they need to understand our math. That's. What do they say? Girl math is the they do with spending Boy math. Math is time. Yeah. The time that we will be home. The time that we spent. That is boy math.

[Mark Gagnon]

The time that you say it's going to take you to get ready is the time. And it's extra time. It's going to take us to get home. Yeah. I've never had a show actually end. When I told my wife it ended. It's always like a half hour. Hey baby. Just finished the meet and greet. I've been home for 45 minutes. I just don't want to talk right now.

[Akash Singh]

It's crazy.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

And you do it enough to where my Girl just knows what my translation is. So now she doesn't even ask.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, really?

[Akash Singh]

Because now just be like, hey, I'm gonna go do this, but I'll be back in, like, 30 minutes. And she's like, okay. Like, she doesn't even follow up because she's just like, all right, that'll be two hours. And that's fine.

[Andrew Schulz]

I gotta go. Like, I'm be gone the whole night. And then when I come back early, I'm waiting for, like, a celebration. I'm like, look who's here. There just three guys in a room with her. I'm like, what the.

[Akash Singh]

But, yeah, that's my. That's my go. So I got to get better at that. Just being just more like, hey, this is what I'm actually doing.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't know.

[Al]

Do that to your friends also, not just your wife.

[Akash Singh]

Oh, that's a good point. Yeah, I guess I do it to everyone.

[Al]

Every single person in your life.

[Andrew Schulz]

It was so weird. He doesn't do it to me at all.

[Akash Singh]

That's crazy.

[Andrew Schulz]

What does he do to you, bro?

[Al]

The funniest part about Mark is he gets really stressed about time. Like, two days ago, he's like, I got to film this episode. It has to go out tomorrow. Whatever. He texts me the whole first day. He skips it. The next morning, he texts me and he goes, Meet it, studio. Studio in 10 minutes. We're both in bed. Like, there's no chance you're gonna make it out your door, down the stairs, 10 minutes. And I was like, hey, brother, how about we say we meet at the coffee shop in 15, and then we do the thing in 30?

[Akash Singh]

Yes.

[Al]

And you were like, that's what I meant. And I was like, dude, just do that.

[Akash Singh]

That is what I felt in my soul.

[Al]

Just say that next time.

[Akash Singh]

That's what I did to David and how he got his bike stolen.

[Al]

Yeah, that's true.

[Andrew Schulz]

Poor David. Poor David. I get, like, a message on New Year's Day. He's like, bro, I'm so sorry. Like, I. I got your bike got stolen last night. Like, I got you. Like, I'm gonna get you a new one. I go, you know what, bro? Merry Christmas. You don't have to buy me a bike that you got stolen. You got a bet he gets a bike back, and literally this week, it gets stolen again.

[Al]

Oh, no, he got it back. Your bike is broken. Oh, and he needs to go get it fixed. Oh, so then he buys a new bike.

[Andrew Schulz]

So instead of fixing my fucking bike. Cause I gifted that Shit to him. He goes, I don't need to fix this. I'll get a new bike. Fucking Sanchez. He would have. No good deed goes unpunished. Oh, karma got him.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, exactly.

[Al]

Buys a new bike. So stoked about it. Literally can't stop talking about everywhere you go. It's locked up somewhere. He'll walk by and go, God damn, whose bike is that? Like, he's so stoked.

[Akash Singh]

It's his favorite thing. And so me and him are going to go to the gym yesterday. I said, hey, let's meet at this coffee shop, grab a coffee and then go to the gym.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

So we go to the coffee shop. We're sitting there 10, 15 minutes. Miles comes by. Guy, he's hanging out. I'm there with my baby. Baby's hanging out. At least he's gonna come get the baby, go take him, and then we're gonna go to the gym. David walks out and his bike's gone. Fully stolen and has a full meltdown. Calls the police. Cops show up. Do you have a description? And he was like, let's brown. Probably migrant.

[Andrew Schulz]

Probably migrant.

[Al]

An air tag on it or. No, no, no air tag. Chain was made of, like, tinsel. Honestly, like, the bike chain is so thin.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

Got jacked.

[Al]

And then he went to the precinct. Like, the cops show up. He gives him a statement, fills it out. Me and Mark are trying not to make fun of him. Laugh the whole time.

[Akash Singh]

That was hard.

[Dove]

He should play a video. They got the video of it being.

[Andrew Schulz]

Stolen, of his reaction. There's a video of the bike being stolen right in front of them while you guys are having coffee.

[Akash Singh]

He was in Direct Island, 20ft away.

[Dove]

Wow.

[Andrew Schulz]

Wow.

[Al]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

He didn't do anything.

[Andrew Schulz]

He didn't.

[Al]

He didn't notice.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, I thought, who? Okay. Yeah.

[Al]

Got in the back of a cop car, went all the way to the precinct to film more paperwork out.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, once your bike's gone, it's gone.

[Dove]

Exactly. But that's something that people not from New York don't realize.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Dove]

It's like, that is a different color.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, that's a sick bike, dude.

[Al]

No, no, this is.

[Dove]

Motorcycle pulls up.

[Akash Singh]

He's right here. The bike is locked up right here with the top tiniest lock ever. Dude has a bolt cutter, snatches it, pulls it off the thing.

[Andrew Schulz]

All right. And then rides away with both. That's what they do.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, that's. That's talent.

[Akash Singh]

Crazy, right?

[Andrew Schulz]

It's nice.

[Mark Gagnon]

He deserves it, honestly. Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

You wanna know the funniest part? This is probably the funniest part these days.

[Dove]

We used to do that with a bicycle. You have to be pedaling with holes. This guy has the funniest part.

[Akash Singh]

While this guy is stealing it, that's my wife and child walking right on by.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's crazy.

[Al]

And then later your wife goes, yeah, I saw a guy riding with a bike on the sidewalk. I thought, that's so silly.

[Akash Singh]

She saw the guy going up robling, holding a bike on the side. She's like, yeah, I guess like his friend like lost his bike, crashed or something. Who knows? Isn't that so wacky?

[Al]

He's holding his friend's bike while he goes and gets coffee.

[Akash Singh]

Exactly. I told Liz, like, yeah, David's bike got stolen. She's like, oh, that's crazy. Unrelated, I saw a guy stealing, like, not connected at all. Situational awareness on 10 just knows exactly what's going on.

[Al]

Yeah, 10am on a Monday. That's crazy.

[Akash Singh]

And that all happened because I wasn't honest with the time. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, cuz I said, I got there later, we spent more time at the coffee shop than I had said or if I just was honest, he never would have got his bike stolen.

[Mark Gagnon]

Is that time, though. That's just what we do as homies. We waste time.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah, but then you would have gone your justice.

[Andrew Schulz]

What's my justice? Oh, yeah, I guess you're right. So I don't know if I feel. I don't know if I feel avenged by that.

[Akash Singh]

You don't. Look at this.

[Dove]

Not enough.

[Mark Gagnon]

It's not enough.

[Al]

We'll steal his other book. Don't worry.

[Andrew Schulz]

I need more.

[Dove]

Did he get a replacement?

[Andrew Schulz]

Right?

[Al]

He's looking at it.

[Andrew Schulz]

All right, guys, take a break for a second. Listen, this podcast has been brought to you by Squarespace. Okay? If you're looking to build a website, you need to look into Squarespace. If you have a business, if you wanted to develop a business, if you want to legitimize your. Your idea, whatever it is, even if you're not making money on it yet, you need a website. Nobody's going to believe in your business if they go, hey, where can I look at it? Online, and it doesn't exist. You need a website. This is bare minimum. This is the first step before you even execute the idea website, okay? They make it easy to create a beautiful website to help you engage with your audience. Sell anything from products to content to time, and do it all on your own terms. They have Squarespace payments. The easiest way to manage your payments in one Place with Squarespace. Onboarding is fast and simple. Get started in just a few clicks and start receiving payments right away. Plus, give your customers more ways to pay with popular payment methods like Klarna, Ach, Direct Debit, Apple Pay, afterpay, and Clear Pay. Also design intelligence. Okay. From Squarespace. It uses cutting edge AI technology to unlock your strongest creative potential. Design intelligence empowers anyone to build a beautiful, more personalized website tailored to their unique needs and craft a bespoke digital identity to use across one's entire online presence. Don't you want your website to to look unique? Don't you want to reflect you, your business, your identity? Yes, and you can use design intelligence to make that happen. And lastly but not least, Squarespace can help you with SEO, that is search engine optimization. Every Squarespace website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions on auto generated sitemap and more. So you show up more often to more people in global search engine results. So right now I want you to head to squarespace.com flagrant to save 10% off on a website or domain. You do that right now. Squarespace.com flagrant to save 10 off on a website or domain. Now let's get back to the show. All right, guys, let's take a break for a second and talk about America. Land of the free, home of the brave. But how can you be brave when you're tired, when you're exhausted, when you want to take a will nap? Do you want to take a little nap? No. What you want to do is put some caffeine in your system. And how the fuck are you going to do that? Black rifle coffee. Yeah, that's right.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's a shotgun full of caffeine right into your cerebellum. I don't even know if that's where caffeine goes. But with black rifle coffee, your cock's going to be hard for three days. Your wife will be very angry, okay? She's going to have her work cut out out for her. That's a fact. Not gonna be half mask. Not at all. We're going full. Yeah. Nobody died here. Not libido, not energy, okay? When you got a lot of speaking to do freely, you want to make sure that you got tons of milligrams of caffeine in your system so you could exercise that freedom of speech, inalienable rights. Yeah, okay. Whatever's in the Constitution, whatever's in the Bill of Rights, whatever we did to those British cucks when we took their team, we threw it in the water. Notice it's not black rifle T. Is it?

[Akash Singh]

Your tea.

[Andrew Schulz]

Your tea. It's black rifle coffee. Yeah. All right. That's what happens. What do you think Luigi Manoni took a shot of before he went out on the streets? Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Black rifle.

[Andrew Schulz]

Well, no, no. I'm not saying he did that before a murder. When he was in Hawaii, when he was exploring, when he needed the energy. He was surfing, when he was living a good life. Not when that other thing happened. He was probably drinking tea when he did that horrible thing or that CEO. That's what tea makes you.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

All right. That whole thing. Black rifle coffee makes you stand up for what you believe in.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's what it's all about. I'm draped in it right here. This is what drinking black rifle coffee feels like. I take a sip of it, and I am draped in American. I'm draped in freedom.

[Akash Singh]

Yes.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm draped in a stock market that's soaring.

[Akash Singh]

Yes.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm draped in bitcoin going to 200. Yeah. I'm draped in Greenland as part of America. I'm draped in the Gulf of America. I'm draped in Canada is the 51st states. I'm draped in. Not everybody needs a quality.

[Mark Gagnon]

Wait, hold on.

[Andrew Schulz]

Did I go too far?

[Akash Singh]

Everyone needs opportunity.

[Andrew Schulz]

Everybody needs opportunity. And. And there should be meritocracy with that opportunity. And equality is really important, and it's in the constitution for everybody, even women and ladies.

[Akash Singh]

All right, that's fine.

[Mark Gagnon]

Well, don't get tea on us now. Don't start drinking tea.

[Andrew Schulz]

Am I drinking tea again? You're drinking tea. Next time I drink tea, just be like, yo, Ch. Anyway, back to what I'm trying to say. If you want to have a strong, male dominated, obedient housewife, your day starts with 200 milligrams of black rifle coffee.

[Akash Singh]

Yes.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay. Notice what color the rifle is the most menacing. Anyway, go to blackrifflecoffee.com and use the code FLAGRANCE to get 30% off or an amount of women. We get paid to do a job today and see what all the hype is about. Let's get back to the show. All right. What's happening with Tik Tok, man?

[Mark Gagnon]

Yo, is this done?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, it seems. I mean, they're basically going back and forth, like, should we ban it? Should we not? And it seems like Trump is kind of into keeping it.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, I mean, it seems kind of crazy to ban it, don't it?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, it's very possible.

[Al]

It'll only be banned for several Days before Trump just reenacts it.

[Andrew Schulz]

Just do a trade, say, yo, China, you got to take meta. And if I'm China, I'm taking that any day of the week. If you look at reels right now, I think someone's pointing this out. It's just repurposed TikToks. A lot of it at least. Like very. I think very few people are making only real, specific content. There are a lot of people making TikTok specific content that goes viral and people repost on reals. So if I'm, I'm the U.S. i'm like, all right, listen, you could have your data collection service here and influence our elections, influence our culture, and do whatever the you want, but we to have one over there, isn't that a fair trade?

[Mark Gagnon]

What if China says no?

[Andrew Schulz]

Then I think it's reasonable that we would remove it.

[Mark Gagnon]

Here's what does it really do. Like, I imagine China already has whatever data they need. And this, if anything, the fact that nobody can recreate the Bite Dance algorithm in the United States proves to me that they're so far ahead of us in AI in every capacity that it's like, this is the least of our concerns as a social media app. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. I don't know if they're ahead of us in terms of AI, but nobody.

[Mark Gagnon]

Can get the algorithm. So to me that I would, I would assume that's under the AI umbrella.

[Andrew Schulz]

I think that you can. I think that you can recreate that algorithm. I think the issue is Instagram is this like, friend slash community based app. So it needs to show you your friend's every once in a while. Like, they're kind of beholden to this thing that we no longer care about. The reality is like, we don't care about what our friends are doing until the algorithm chooses something that they're doing randomly and then throws it in front of us. The beauty of TikTok is they're like, people pretend like they want to keep up with the Joneses with their boys and shit. They don't. They just want to see the next piece of content that's really interesting. It's really engaging. This dramatic or funny. We got you.

[Mark Gagnon]

I would push back with YouTube shorts. It's big.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

But it's not TikTok. It's not. Doesn't have that same addictive, like, people are in it for 14 hours a day. I agree with you communities.

[Andrew Schulz]

I would just say that with you YouTube, like, the goal is a little different. Like YouTube, when I hit that App. I'm like, all right, I'm going to sit here for a little bit and watch a video and kind of indulge in something where TikTok. I even see the way my wife uses it. She's brushing her teeth, throws on TikTok and just let some shit go. It's just this meaningless time spend. Right. That is. Or if you're going to bed, you're like, all right, I got 15 minutes. Let me just scroll and find some shit. And I think if Instagram really wants to compete, they just got to knock the friend thing away completely. But people don't want that.

[Mark Gagnon]

I just. Yeah, I'm sorry.

[Andrew Schulz]

They think people don't want that. We do.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. I just think they're further behind than you do. I think that's just really where we disagree.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, maybe.

[Mark Gagnon]

I also do. You know the number one downloaded app the last couple days, the backup to TikTok, the Red Note, which is the actual Chinese government.

[Al]

Chinese app.

[Mark Gagnon]

So they're like, instead of giving it to TikTok, let's just give all our data China right away. Yeah. There's a lot of pushback to this that I don't know if the government. I don't think the government understood how much people love that app.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

And I don't think they are prepared for, like, the anger that will come if you take it away.

[Andrew Schulz]

I wonder if there's anger. Like, I wonder if there's anger. I wonder if people are furious or they just find another form of distraction.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, I think they bank on that, but I think they're. They're. They're going to make more noise about this than most things.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, maybe.

[Mark Gagnon]

And I don't think it's worth getting rid of it, but you could see.

[Andrew Schulz]

Why it'd be a liability.

[Mark Gagnon]

I understand the. The concept of it. I do. I just don't think it's that. That real of a threat. I think China's a threat, but I don't think Tick Tock is the reason China's a threat. If we want to push China around and reassert ourselves, there's a lot of other ways to do it, I think, than just like, the Tick Tock app.

[Andrew Schulz]

What about allowing them, like, algorithmically to push certain things to us and, like, affect us culturally?

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, but Facebook, we've already didn't Rush. Already do that in 2016.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. Yeah, you could make that argument. Yeah, it didn't work. Right.

[Mark Gagnon]

But, I mean, that was what. Yeah, I don't know if that's what that's what everybody was blaming the Trump win on forever.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. But they always need to find a way.

[Mark Gagnon]

But that's a concern either way. Like WhatsApp. There's tons of misinformation on WhatsApp. Take it from an Indian whose parents were sharing the craziest shit ever.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

WhatsApp is like the biggest misinformation thing in the world.

[Andrew Schulz]

Really.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, my God. There's so many memes are just like, washing your hands could cause AIDS or whatever, and then your uncles are just sharing it to all their uncles and it's just going around like crazy.

[Akash Singh]

Who knows, right?

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. But the misinformation shit is everywhere. Pushing content is like, you can do it on any app. I don't think it's exclusive to TikTok.

[Akash Singh]

But I guess the difference is that if someone is using a loophole to exploit that versus the fundamental backend being owned by another country, like, is it an easier pipeline to then push a cultural agenda?

[Andrew Schulz]

I think there's no question that that is the truth. I mean, that's the reason why China doesn't allow our apps over there.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, yeah. I can agree if there is merit to it. I just think they're kind of picking a fight with something they probably want out for whatever reason anyway.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. And it could just be a posturing.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. Could be a lot of money from the US social media apps being like, let's lobby, get this thing taken out of here. Who's the biggest threat?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. Who's the biggest beneficiary?

[Mark Gagnon]

Mark Zenberg and Meta. Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Dove]

Do you see the rumors of Elon buying it and. And then. Yeah, buying it. And then Mr. Beast also saying he wants to buy it.

[Andrew Schulz]

And then China responded to that and they were like, we cannot comment on completely fake fictional rumors.

[Akash Singh]

Oh, really?

[Andrew Schulz]

Now that could be them just trying to cover up the fact that they're going to sell it. I mean, if Elon buys Tick Tock and if he has Twitter and Tick Tock, that's crazy. Yeah, that's a lot of.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, that's a little. That's a lot.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's a lot.

[Akash Singh]

If Trump's able to save it, like, does it make Trump look good?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, God.

[Al]

He went early on.

[Mark Gagnon]

Weirdly, the one demographic that he still hasn't fully won over is, like, young liberal kids on Tick Tock. If he saves the app they love the most. What a cool.

[Al]

I think it's such an easy win early for him. And I don't know if people looked at that, because I think he's basically reversed on it. He's basically saying, like, I don't know if we should look into it. Like, think about it.

[Akash Singh]

He loves his views on there.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

He's like, we got like 36 billion views last quarter. Like, why do we got to get rid of this?

[Mark Gagnon]

He's got TikTok, Jack, dude. He's got the TikTok.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

I think we just need to understand what the real cost to America is. And then we're all just speculating right now. But if some actual independent data came out that this is potential potentially dangerous and the only thing we lose is a distraction tool for five minutes where kids are just like dancing and lip syncing, I think we can live without it, but we just don't know that actual cost. And if the actual cost is nothing, then let that go. Let them get their data, whatever. It's fun, it's great, we all enjoy it. But if the actual cost is, oh, we found out that, you know, China influenced these local elections over here so that they could gain more influence and, you know, buy up these hotels and this real estate or whatever, that's fair. If we found that there was actual real impact, it was, you know, not even dangerous to Americans, but, you know, put us on the, the, the, the unaffected. Unaffected side of a negotiation.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Then I think it's maybe worth yanking it. Like, I wonder if, even if, if Britain thinks about that when they're selling, you know, large swaths of real estate to outside investors.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

If they go long term, like, is this, this is beneficial for us? Yeah. A few developers were able to like, make their money back. But what does it look like 30 years from now when 20%, 30% of London is owned by foreign entities?

[Akash Singh]

I think it just happens on such a small scale, like you're just an individual seller in some foreign national saying, hey, here's cash for your house.

[Andrew Schulz]

Really? All right, so like the, the New.

[Dove]

York, but it stopped to that.

[Andrew Schulz]

So like in a microcosm, I think you could look at some of the, like vacation destinations that have, that impose these kind of rules where you can't buy land unless you're a citizen of the country. And it's simply because you're going to price out the people who actually live there, grow up there and don't have the opportunity to just move to another country and find a place to live. And you even seen in like, I think Vancouver, they said China bought up all these apartments. Others this apartment shortage and there are these apartments that are vacant and the people that live there and actually grow up there don't have places they can stay or they do, and they're just absurdly expensive. So I think there is like a, a long term, maybe concern. But, you know, this is America, short term greed. You know, somebody's willing to give you $300 million for your building, you don't give a. Where they're from. You're cashing out.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah. It's interesting with the Greenland thing too, like Trump trying to get Greenland and like pushing hard to get it.

[Andrew Schulz]

I spoke to the guy who is the, is his ambassador to Denmark. So he's essentially tad. Denmark is the custodian of Greenland. So he's essentially, essentially tasked with, I mean, the, the job of getting Greenland.

[Mark Gagnon]

Why, why does Trump want it? Minerals.

[Akash Singh]

Seems like there's a couple different things from just what I've read, like, as it seems like Greenland is obviously covered in ice and the glaciers are melting on Greenland. So as a result, there's going to be huge mineral deposits and like potentially even oil underneath the ground. It's not going to be able to be accessed. Some people speculated that Elon is actually a big proponent of getting Greenland in order to get precious materials for like some of the stuff he's developing and getting minerals and things like that. And then obviously the oil interest. And then there's also trade routes that are now going to be like, more opened up that like Russia has more access to and it benefits Russia, like have these trade routes. So if the United States can put bases there and control the trade routes, it gives them a lot more leverage globally. And then thirdly, like, if Trump is able to get more land, does that look good for him individually as a president to be like, hey, I added on some shit to the American empire.

[Andrew Schulz]

Like, yo, if you were, if you were a citizen, citizen of Greenland and you could be Danish or American, what would you want to be?

[Mark Gagnon]

Good point.

[Akash Singh]

Well, with the boys, it depends though, because Danes, I feel like, are probably like, like if they're living there, if they're like culturally Danish, you know what I mean?

[Andrew Schulz]

But they're culturally Greenlandish.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, but I imagine that they're influenced.

[Andrew Schulz]

By Danish culture and that they're like, we're Danish.

[Akash Singh]

And I feel like I've met Danes that are very much not into the American vibe.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't know if they Danes.

[Mark Gagnon]

Buddy, put down the butter cookies, Pick up a chocolate chip. See how much better it is on this side. Shut the up.

[Akash Singh]

Don't get me wrong, we got to put some Americans over there. We got to send the boys to go, you know, colonize.

[Mark Gagnon]

Give them our black people. They can see how fun it is.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

And you'll make a lot of people here very happy.

[Andrew Schulz]

Should we just put Israel there?

[Akash Singh]

Oh.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh.

[Mark Gagnon]

There you go.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's it. That's problem solved.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Dove]

What do you feel about that?

[Mark Gagnon]

They can't handle the cold.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, they hate the cold.

[Andrew Schulz]

They hate the cold. No, they'll turn it into a metropolis and then be blamed again. Buy something old now.

[Mark Gagnon]

Y had Greenland, y'all. Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

I think they're Inuits, like the indigenous population there. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just think if I'm some Greenlandish Inuit. Yeah. And that's my life. It's the only place that I've grown up. That's all I know. And I also can go to Denmark. I don't even know if they have, like, EU citizenship. I don't know how that works. But, like. Or you could be the exact person you're going to be, but if you want to pop down to Miami for a few weeks in the winter, there's no red tape at all. If you want to start a business in New York, there's no red tape.

[Akash Singh]

That should be the deal that they bring.

[Dove]

Yeah. It depends how the economy is. If they're doing bad, then they're going.

[Andrew Schulz]

To want to choose up.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Al]

There's only, like.

[Dove]

But if they're fine.

[Al]

100,000 of them. And I think one of the big issues that they're running into right now is that they want. Basically, Greenland's, like, empty. It's just a big, like.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Al]

Beautiful, like, untouched land. And their fear is that American. America is going to come and touch it.

[Akash Singh]

So I think that. Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

What? Have we done that before?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, like, why would that.

[Al]

I don't know why they think that.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

But when we touch it, it gets hot. Yeah, Right. Like, why would you not want that? Yeah, I mean, I think that they.

[Al]

And they don't have EU citizenship.

[Andrew Schulz]

They don't.

[Al]

They can get it in one way, but it's not automatically given because they left.

[Andrew Schulz]

Greenwood left.

[Al]

A precursor to the EU before.

[Andrew Schulz]

You're welcome. You're welcome.

[Akash Singh]

That should be the deal. Hey, you guys can be American, and you also get free flights to Miami twice a year.

[Mark Gagnon]

Free twice a year.

[Akash Singh]

What do you mean? We're trying to make a deal.

[Andrew Schulz]

We could take it by force, or y'all could choose us. What do you want?

[Akash Singh]

We're gonna nuke Greenland?

[Andrew Schulz]

We're not gonna nuke them. We're just gonna show up and be like, you're American. And they're gonna go, but we have seven different words for snow. And we're like, well, now it's snow. You're American. Welcome. Like, what do we. It's not a negotiation here. Do we want it? Yeah, welcome, welcome.

[Mark Gagnon]

So what's your boy saying? How are they trying to get it?

[Andrew Schulz]

I didn't get into that discussion. He was like, you gotta come visit us in Denmark. I was like, I think I'll visit you over in North America.

[Akash Singh]

You can visit me in Greenland.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, that sounds like a great idea. I just can't fathom they wouldn't want to choose up.

[Akash Singh]

What about Puerto Rico? Did you guys like it?

[Andrew Schulz]

Puerto Rico's incredible.

[Akash Singh]

When you guys became America, boy, Puerto Ricans stoked about that.

[Dove]

It's still not cutting out for us too much.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. Puerto Rico's still getting treats like Puerto Rico.

[Dove]

We're still waiting for, you know, to.

[Andrew Schulz]

Be able to vote.

[Akash Singh]

The weather's nice, but y'all could pull.

[Andrew Schulz]

Up whenever you want.

[Mark Gagnon]

That is true.

[Dove]

You can't even vote.

[Andrew Schulz]

You can vote when you move to New York and become a real American.

[Akash Singh]

Become a real nuken.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

I mean, you got to point that.

[Andrew Schulz]

There'S a pathway to citizenship. We're going to create a pathway to citizenship for these Greenlandish people.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. You have to move to Queens. Okay. Get a flag, wave it all the time, play music loud.

[Andrew Schulz]

Have a festival or a parade, and.

[Akash Singh]

You can be American.

[Andrew Schulz]

This is no brainer. I can't. I need them to show me one single Greenlandish person who's like, I don't want to be American. I just want to be Danish, kind of. You get to be Danish without EU citizenship.

[Dove]

Greenland. Let's pick better islands, though. It's like, if islands are for grabs, let's just pick some fire shots.

[Akash Singh]

Do you want Anguilla?

[Dove]

Anguilla would be cool.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay.

[Dove]

Aruba.

[Andrew Schulz]

We have St. John Virgin Islands.

[Al]

It's nice.

[Dove]

Yeah, it's Aruba.

[Andrew Schulz]

Crazy. They actually do have, like, a bunch.

[Al]

Of words for snow.

[Andrew Schulz]

I know. That's their thing. What are the other words?

[Al]

Aput is general term for snow. Kik, falling snow.

[Andrew Schulz]

Matzak, wet snow.

[Al]

Pukak, powder snow. Quanako kok, long, light, powdery snow.

[Mark Gagnon]

Great. But that. She was perfect.

[Akash Singh]

Have you Inuit is why you know all this.

[Al]

We're getting ready to take over.

[Akash Singh]

Are we about to be escalators?

[Andrew Schulz]

I need a good reason why they wouldn't want to choose up. I'll be. I'll be honest. I think most countries in the world. If. If we went to them, we're like, yo, you. You guys want to be American? I feel like they'd be like, yeah, that's fine.

[Dove]

It's funny. I agree with that.

[Andrew Schulz]

Name one country that wouldn't want to be part of America. You get to keep doing whatever you do. What do they. What is the. You build a. What do you do? Like, what. You don't have to stop doing anything that you do.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yo, you pull that up because I don't even know what Greenland looks like.

[Akash Singh]

You think these people want to be American, bro? These NPR chicks, You really think these. These nanets. You got Marshall Mathers over there. I mean, crazy.

[Dove]

What's. I'm trying to figure them out. Are they Asian?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, sorta. I think they're just, like, Inuit. Like, they're, like, indigenous.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, they're Asian, bro. Come on, Greenland. Let's not make this more difficult than it needs to be. You can still dress the way you dress. You can still wear your moccasins. You can still eat the whale fat. What? You know what I mean? Whatever you want to do, you can keep doing. You're also American now. And then if we find some underneath the ice that you would have never found, you get to benefit a little bit. So you could either have 0% of all the minerals you'll never dig up, or you could have, like, 10% or whatever we give the Alaskans.

[Akash Singh]

You'd be the greatest. Like, if you were back in the olden days, like, British Empire, like, colonizing.

[Andrew Schulz]

What was that guy? Kissinger? Yeah, I could be Kissinger.

[Al]

Well, he's dead. You can have a spot.

[Andrew Schulz]

Exactly. What else do we want? Literally, right now, what else do we.

[Akash Singh]

Aruba.

[Dove]

Aruba's fire.

[Andrew Schulz]

Aruba's great. We're good.

[Akash Singh]

Iran.

[Andrew Schulz]

Why Iran?

[Akash Singh]

We need Iran.

[Andrew Schulz]

I feel like there's parts of America with a lot of, like, Iranians. Yeah, yeah. Not Glendale. Beverly Hills.

[Akash Singh]

Okay.

[Andrew Schulz]

You know, great neck.

[Akash Singh]

Okay.

[Andrew Schulz]

Long out. And it's like. I feel we have a good amount.

[Akash Singh]

So you're good on that?

[Andrew Schulz]

I think we're good on that. Yeah. I feel like we got a good amount. I think we're good.

[Mark Gagnon]

What about Dubai?

[Andrew Schulz]

I like. I like the Emirates. I do like the Emirates. I do like them, and they're up.

[Mark Gagnon]

And coming, so it's like. It's like a Miami Heat situation. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Schulz]

I. I'll be honest with you. I like what I see over there. I've toured twice. The audiences are fantastic. American, educated, 100% 100%. If I go there, I just have an amazing show. You might be ours. I really think that we could have that discussion. Now, there is a nice little thing where, like, we're homies, but it's separate. You want to go shit on a hooker, you can go there. Yeah, right. You can't do that. If they're American now they have rights. And all this other.

[Akash Singh]

Sing them Disney songs.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, I don't want to fucking serenade a whore. I want to eat falafel and then put it on their chest as a cultural experience, Alex. Exactly. So I think we got to start looking into. I think they're. I think. I think Canada needs to cut it out.

[Mark Gagnon]

The 51st state, dude.

[Andrew Schulz]

I think they need to cut it out. They want to just join in. Join in. Their health care sucks already, so now it's not free. But at least you can get your tumor scooped out in a timely manner.

[Mark Gagnon]

It's true.

[Akash Singh]

Decent point.

[Mark Gagnon]

It's true.

[Dove]

But do we want Canada?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Dove]

Really?

[Andrew Schulz]

Canada's fire, bro. Canada's fire. I want Mexico too. If it's up to me. If it's up to me.

[Dove]

We can't just be picky and choosing.

[Andrew Schulz]

It ain't picking and choosing. That's the boys. Toronto, that's the boys.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yo, yo, yo. Let's take North America and South America and literally just make that America. North America, South America, that's all us.

[Andrew Schulz]

So Brazil gets to be part.

[Mark Gagnon]

Exactly.

[Akash Singh]

Make the flights street of.

[Dove]

Oh, we got Colombia.

[Mark Gagnon]

Ne Colombia.

[Dove]

They got good food over.

[Andrew Schulz]

Is there a way to do it? But none of them can move here.

[Akash Singh]

All right, see? No, no, no. This is where.

[Andrew Schulz]

This is where it's there a way where they got to stay too far, but we get to go there whenever we want.

[Mark Gagnon]

I'm sure we can do this.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm sure we can do that. Is there a way where we can keep them poor so we can take advantage of that, you know, money exchange and the desperation of the women? Yes.

[Akash Singh]

The current situation.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, yeah. Okay. Got it. Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

I think we just give Greenland a basketball team, bring them into the fold and call it a day.

[Mark Gagnon]

Now, football. This is football. Look at the weather.

[Andrew Schulz]

Football.

[Akash Singh]

You think so?

[Mark Gagnon]

Green Bay, Greenland, same to same.

[Akash Singh]

Oh, that's a good point.

[Mark Gagnon]

They would love it.

[Andrew Schulz]

Dude, they got some wide heads.

[Mark Gagnon]

The Ice Packers.

[Andrew Schulz]

Look at that top guy right there.

[Akash Singh]

That's a statue. Oh, no, that's a.

[Mark Gagnon]

They're better looking women than I thought they'd be, to be honest with you.

[Andrew Schulz]

What is that guy's fitted Size. That's like a nine and a half, right?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a. He's got a big one. I mean, this is that guy. That guy. Born and raised.

[Andrew Schulz]

Nay. No way. That's a Dane for sure.

[Al]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

A hockey team. I mean, they look like a sick ass hockey team. I'm just saying Greenland might be a good play.

[Andrew Schulz]

I like them. Yo, Greenland, we love you. We appreciate you. Welcome. You know, I think we put them on like a, you know, 100 year lease, see how it goes. And after 100, if it you doesn't work out for each other, then boom, it's like Hong Kong or whatever. Yeah, I like that scenario.

[Akash Singh]

What do you think of Trump changing all the names and stuff? Gulf of America. He changed Mount McKinley or Mount Denali to Mount McKinley. Whatever.

[Andrew Schulz]

I like it. Why can't we decide the names of our.

[Akash Singh]

The names all the time?

[Mark Gagnon]

India did that. We all back to Mumbai.

[Dove]

Yeah, that is true.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, that's true.

[Andrew Schulz]

But what's wrong with. I don't understand why it's an issue. Like we call Japan Japan and they call it Nippon. Ha. Whatever the it is. Right? Like so it's like we all have different names for things. We're just naming the Gulf of Mexico now. The Gulf of America. I think it makes sense.

[Dove]

But does the world have to recognize it?

[Andrew Schulz]

They don't already. They don't speak speak English. They say it in their language. Like, I don't think Mexico should have to go now it's the Gulf of America. You keep calling it whatever you call it. Oh yeah, we call India India. They call it Hindustan. Right.

[Mark Gagnon]

Or be a Bharat.

[Andrew Schulz]

That.

[Akash Singh]

All right.

[Andrew Schulz]

Like, I'm shocked we didn't do this years ago. You know, kind of did it.

[Al]

We used to call it the Persian Gulf. Now we call it the Arabian Gulf. It's not officially changed, but we do.

[Andrew Schulz]

It just to who? Ooh, just a. With them.

[Al]

Ukraine. D Ukraine.

[Akash Singh]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

What's the Ukraine?

[Mark Gagnon]

The Ukraine. Is it Ukraine or the Ukraine? I think it's just Ukraine, right?

[Al]

It's called Ukraine, but for a long time we called it the Ukraine.

[Akash Singh]

That's just gaslight. I feel like that's Mandela effect also.

[Mark Gagnon]

They got sensitive about that. Is there other Ukraines?

[Akash Singh]

You're the Ukraine.

[Andrew Schulz]

I think it's.

[Mark Gagnon]

We talking about.

[Al]

I. I can't believe they gave it up.

[Mark Gagnon]

It's like Ohio State.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, exactly.

[Al]

Ohio State.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

Ukraine.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

We will call them section 8.

[Mark Gagnon]

I'm annoying.

[Andrew Schulz]

This whole. This war, you know, I need to. I need to Ask you guys about this. There is one of these like marathon horse that had sex with a thousand guys in 12 hours.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dove]

How's that possible?

[Andrew Schulz]

I got. We gotta pay for it to find out.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

I think we gotta get on only fans.

[Dove]

Like, is it just like you just let them pump a couple times and then you on to the next one?

[Andrew Schulz]

Because I guess. But how can they. Are the guys all hard waiting? Like what a weird waiting.

[Mark Gagnon]

I don't. I'm not into this. How many guys is that per hour? Seems mathematically impossible.

[Andrew Schulz]

A Thousand divided by 12. 1057 divided by 12.

[Al]

83.

[Akash Singh]

88.

[Andrew Schulz]

88 an hour. How many is that a minute?

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, that's over one guy a minute. I don't even understand how that's 1.4 her name. Yeah. This doesn't make. Is it like a. Like a bullpen where you go get hard before you.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, there's gotta be.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, yeah.

[Akash Singh]

There must be a side room.

[Dove]

Logistically, I have to get it done in a min.

[Andrew Schulz]

Could get a job. Why are we acting like.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, that's the issue.

[Andrew Schulz]

You know, a girl, a thousand guys in 12 hours. We're like, how do the guys come so fast?

[Akash Singh]

Like.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, no, we can get it out.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

No, the logistical part. Oh, damn. I mean, that's crazy. Apparently there's a. A father son duo that joined.

[Dove]

But now is this the same or that did.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, there was two that were doing it. And it's one of those two. She already did it. No, there was like another girl that did like a hundred.

[Akash Singh]

This is.

[Dove]

So this isn't the one that was crying about doing.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, this is the other one.

[Dove]

This she just beat her to.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, that's fucked up.

[Al]

Well, she just broke the record. Apparently it was 919 before in 2004.

[Dove]

I think her friend was saying that she wanted to do a thousand next.

[Mark Gagnon]

Someone did it in 2004. It wasn't. There was no fucking social media. They did that for the love. Yo. That's crazy.

[Al]

We just lost out to these.

[Andrew Schulz]

She said she did it.

[Al]

She said she did 1057 men in 12 hours. And the earlier record in 2004 was 919 said by Lisa. I just said that.

[Andrew Schulz]

You did.

[Al]

That's crazy.

[Dove]

That's. That's foul. How you going? Yeah, take the record from your friend.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. What's that look like afterwards?

[Mark Gagnon]

Yikes.

[Akash Singh]

Was it all the s. The. It had to be vagina.

[Andrew Schulz]

I mean, maybe she was sucking some of them.

[Akash Singh]

Like, is that.

[Andrew Schulz]

But that should count.

[Mark Gagnon]

I don't Think that counts as should count though.

[Dove]

No.

[Mark Gagnon]

Ass should count for two, to be honest.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

All right, so what do you guys think about that?

[Mark Gagnon]

I mean, have she spoken on it? Has she said how awful she feels or anything like that?

[Al]

She broke a thousand and then There was just 57 people left and she was like, ah, run it up. Apparently.

[Mark Gagnon]

Jesus.

[Akash Singh]

What a leg. That's kind of sick. But I mean, if sex means nothing, then why is this different than like a hot dog eating contest?

[Mark Gagnon]

Cuz it's getting in your vagina contest.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, just putting food in your mouth contest, you know? I mean, it's like, yeah. If it's just an act that people do that doesn't have any type of social bearing and it doesn't really matter who you do it with.

[Dove]

No liberal.

[Andrew Schulz]

I disagree. I understand.

[Akash Singh]

If culturally we view sex just like. Yeah, who gives a do whoever, then why is it. Why is. Why are people defying difficult for us?

[Andrew Schulz]

Because we don't view sex like that entirely. Like there's a number where if you go past it, then sex is this emotional, beautiful act. You know what I mean?

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Like if somebody went down to Columbia, there was a friend of ours and like four girls in a night, we wouldn't be like, oh, that's disgusting. Like, how could you, you know, ruin the sanctity of this beautiful connection that you could have with another person? Yeah, but then if one of our boys fucked a thousand girls in Colombia. Yeah, he's got. He's got aids, right? Like there's like a concern at a certain point. Right.

[Mark Gagnon]

He's dead.

[Akash Singh]

So what is the number that it.

[Andrew Schulz]

Becomes a pathology that's we should. I think for girls it's like two.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, I agree with you.

[Akash Singh]

I think when girls simultaneous.

[Andrew Schulz]

If girls have sex with more than one guy in a night, that you're a forever. Isn't that sa. Isn't that sad knowing that you've helped that happen? But it is a girl. Like, what is the number? Like what is the number for your girl if she told you a story and she was like, it was some crazy night in college and there was like five guys and it was just like, right. What do you do? You have to break up? Like, what do you do?

[Dove]

Oh yeah, we done?

[Andrew Schulz]

You're done, right? You're done Done? Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

Two guys. It was a crazy night. Two guys.

[Mark Gagnon]

I'm out.

[Andrew Schulz]

Kind of. You're done?

[Mark Gagnon]

I'm out.

[Akash Singh]

I mean, you know our answer.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, we have the right.

[Akash Singh]

There's a crazy guy we dated for four years. I be like, gross.

[Andrew Schulz]

What the. Yeah, it's kind of more than one ladies. Is the. Is the cut off but for guys? Well, we can only have sex with one at a time.

[Dove]

Speak for yourself.

[Andrew Schulz]

Meaning like, I can't you while I'm somebody else.

[Akash Singh]

But now you're talking about DP if the girls have a sex with two guys, she's only having sex with one guy at a time.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, that's even worse.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's crazy what you just said. I mean, that's crazy. What the fuck did you just say, dude?

[Akash Singh]

I'm just trying to understand the logistics of it.

[Andrew Schulz]

Like.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, I'm. Come on, man.

[Akash Singh]

I'm saying it's the same thing. Guys can only have sex with one girl at one time. No, but girls can only have sex with one guy.

[Andrew Schulz]

Sex is putting dick in, right? I can only put dick in one. Like, but if a girl is getting up the ass and in the pussy at the same time, you're just like, come on, that was wrong.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, that's crazy.

[Andrew Schulz]

You know, or if you're like, a dick is in her mouth while a dick is in her vagina. That's insane. And I've done that with girls. And even during it, I'm like, yo, you are. Why would you do this? This is crazy. This is an insane decision that you made completely sober. You were really enthusiastic about. Did you think we think this is cool. We're gonna call you a forever. Why would you do this? What are you doing? You know, do you think my mom's still listening? I think she would agree with our perspective on this part. Yeah. So. So what is the. What is the takeaway from this? Like, do these girls. Enough guys at one time where even like regular promiscuous girls start going, oh, oh, it is kind of gross. Are they going to ruin promiscuity? Like, our generation or me and Al's generation benefited from sexual liberty. Like, we were able to meet girls and have sex with them and there wasn't that big a deal because it was more transactional, like you said. But are these girls proving that that's actually disgusting and guys actually think that's.

[Mark Gagnon]

Disgusting or you just recalibrate the number at which you're a Now you just raised it. We're desensitized.

[Andrew Schulz]

So now girls like, well, at least I didn't. A thousand one night. You think I'm a. Yeah, I fuck guys double digits. That's. That's nothing.

[Akash Singh]

Over 24 hours. That's like two an hour. That's nothing.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's Light work.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. What are the repercussions of this? Cuz it's popular. People know about it. People are commenting. I was just on Instagram, Kevin Love posted about it. He's like, this was our fourth quarter yesterday. I thought it was a funny post.

[Al]

Did you see she holds up the thousand like the. The. The Will Chamberlain photo.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's so funny. Okay, that's hilarious. Now that's funny.

[Al]

Yeah, it's very.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's really good.

[Akash Singh]

I mean, bro.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm trying to think, like, what is the lasting cost, man? And there's another thing where it's like, she's too pretty to be.

[Mark Gagnon]

She's a pretty girl.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Dove]

She got crazy eyes, though.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

I mean, do you think she took a break? Like, was she in the corner, like in Vaseline on her eyebrows at any point?

[Andrew Schulz]

Let me tell you. Let me tune like a box.

[Akash Singh]

Get her hands, you know. Let me tell you, getting into a bucket.

[Andrew Schulz]

I mean this sincerely. If. If you're a guy in England or whatever and at one point you hit on this girl and she rejected you, you need to kill. Okay? Because there is something so hideous and disgusting about you that even this bucket wouldn't let you. Jeez, bonk me for free. Let me film it.

[Dove]

What's going on in the uk?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yo, what is going on? That's.

[Dove]

Y'all gotta get y'all shit together.

[Akash Singh]

Oh, no. This makes me uncomfortable.

[Andrew Schulz]

Right?

[Dove]

Shit.

[Andrew Schulz]

And why does she have to, like, make a big thing about it? Like, she could have just went into a Pakistani neighborhood. They would have knocked it out in like 25 minutes. Like, why. Why is she going on social media and asking, just walk to the grocery store with your kneecap showing in Pakistani neighborhood. According to Twitter and what Elon Musk is reposting. Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

Who do you. Who held the last record for. For this?

[Al]

An American chick.

[Akash Singh]

And what was she doing?

[Al]

I forget her name, but since 2004.

[Akash Singh]

Wow.

[Andrew Schulz]

So sad.

[Akash Singh]

Is it the end?

[Andrew Schulz]

Why? It feels like a real downer. Like, usually we can have fun with these things. I'm more sad about this than the fire in Malibu. Right?

[Mark Gagnon]

End up claiming more victims, probably.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, for real. Only I said. I almost said only 24 people.

[Akash Singh]

Bad.

[Andrew Schulz]

But like, unfortunately, 24 people died in the California.

[Mark Gagnon]

It's quite possible 24 died from this.

[Andrew Schulz]

1,000%.

[Akash Singh]

What happened to the girl that was selling nudes for the Australia fires? Remember that? No, there's a girl that like, sold, like, made her only fans and donated all the proceeds and made like $5 million for Australia.

[Andrew Schulz]

Good for her.

[Akash Singh]

This girl could have done that.

[Mark Gagnon]

She could have done that.

[Akash Singh]

I'll suck off the first responder.

[Mark Gagnon]

A lot more volunteer firefighters, if that is exactly me.

[Akash Singh]

Hose it down. That'd be fire. You could have helped a lot of people.

[Mark Gagnon]

This is dei. I can get behind.

[Andrew Schulz]

Literally, I can't. Yeah, it is odd, huh? It really affected the mood of the pod.

[Akash Singh]

Gives you a weird feeling.

[Dove]

Disgusting, bro.

[Akash Singh]

I don't know.

[Dove]

It's disgusting.

[Andrew Schulz]

Why is it disgusting?

[Mark Gagnon]

It's disgusting.

[Andrew Schulz]

I mean, it is, but. Well, like, what is? Explain your feelings of disgust.

[Mark Gagnon]

It's worse now. I'm a former. If she's ugly, I'd be like, hey, get it in girl. But a beautiful girl. I'm like, this is tragic, dude.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's a really good point.

[Dove]

I guess that has something to do with it.

[Andrew Schulz]

But no, tell me, Al, what are you saying?

[Dove]

Nah. From like being a former to have some standards. That's it.

[Andrew Schulz]

What do you mean?

[Akash Singh]

Standard? She broke a record. She became.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, but she's just.

[Mark Gagnon]

True.

[Andrew Schulz]

She's letting anybody forever.

[Dove]

She's just letting anybody go. Like, if it was like a thousand attractive dudes, now we don't know.

[Akash Singh]

We got to see the guys.

[Andrew Schulz]

What a time to be alive. There is this girl doing this for. And a thousand guys for her only fans or whatever it is. And then. And I. I'm sure this has been talked about in nauseam, but there's that other girl who made like 40 million on only fans. And she's a virgin.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. She's smart.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

She's like. She like goes and dunks on people on these podcasts and like that.

[Andrew Schulz]

Does she?

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, she's well spoken.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm like baffled by this.

[Dove]

Wait, but does she show tits?

[Andrew Schulz]

Content. But she hasn't had sex yet.

[Dove]

Yeah, and like, no, but that's that weird group of guys that like, you know, the ones that were waiting for Bad Bunny, a bad Bobby to turn 18.

[Andrew Schulz]

Bad baby.

[Dove]

Bad baby to turn 18. And then her gram goes crazy. I'm like, so that means you're looking. Looking at her at 17 countdown. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, this might not be so.

[Dove]

That is nasty. Anybody those types of pages. I should.

[Andrew Schulz]

But is this girl 18 years old or is she.

[Akash Singh]

I believe this is the girl that's a.

[Mark Gagnon]

This is not the girl.

[Andrew Schulz]

Sophie Rain.

[Al]

She's 20. It says so she's 20 years old.

[Andrew Schulz]

Very attractive girl and she's a virgin. But I imagine she shows, you know, sexy pics or whatever.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's genius actually.

[Andrew Schulz]

But like, does this say about the male psyche. There's far more interest in a girl who is beautiful and not than there is in a girl who is everyone.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, it's just the human psyche. You want something that not everybody has.

[Andrew Schulz]

Access to, but they technically have access to the look. Right. Like if she's showing her boobs, etc. I'm not trying to discredit point. I agree with you. But like, so we're okay with you showing off your body? That to us isn't disgusting. It's the second things enter it.

[Mark Gagnon]

I think we can justify it also because there is a, an idea of purity attached to her.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

She's showing off her body, but she's still pure, purer than us. She's never had sex. So how I'm allowed to indulge in this guilt free and not feel like, oh, this is. I'm participating in this, blah, blah, blah. This is an empowered girl. She holds onto her morals, does something she's comfortable with. I feel no guilt. She's hot, let's go.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's guilt free. It's guilt free. Wow.

[Mark Gagnon]

She's more attractive because she's holding onto her chastity. So it's like a commodity.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yes, she does. You don't feel that like the other girl. You feel gross. You're like, what did this poor girl go through? Like, sex means nothing to her.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

That it's like dapping somebody up. This other girl, we'd like to believe that she didn't go through that.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

She's just a super hot girl. She's, you know, making money off only fans because guys want to see her naked. But that is way more like guys are paying money to have fake conversations with her on only fans to the tune of $40 million. This girl had to a thousand guys for us to talk about her on the pod and we still don't even know her name.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

And it's not like the Sophie Rain girl is like that much more beautiful than the other girl.

[Mark Gagnon]

They're both hot girls.

[Andrew Schulz]

They're both hot girls.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

And the only reason we're Talking about the 1000 guy girl is because she did something that we think is disgusting.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

We're not going, going, oh my God, she's beautiful. They're paying 40 million for this virgin because they're like, holy. Look how hot this girl is that she's. She somehow managed to be this hot and not have sex.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

I think men are drawn to like, the scope. Right? Like, it's like, it's ultra purity and Chastity while, like, still being seductive and teasing. And then the other side is like full degradation. And I think that that is like splitting the male psyche.

[Andrew Schulz]

But are there guys that are into the fact that she's all these dudes? Is that like a kink for them?

[Akash Singh]

Certainly, I imagine that that is a part of it. I mean, I think that's kind of a part of like, most porn, to be honest with you. It's like there is like a degraded element where, like, seeing beautiful women be degraded is validating for men. And so I think that is taking it to like, it's like farthest logical conclusion.

[Al]

Apparently Bonnie Blue is making the girl who had sex with a thousand people is making $700,000 a month on that. And she's doing. She did a thing in November of 2023 where she went around to British colleges and slept with any student. And if she could post it online.

[Mark Gagnon]

Jeez.

[Al]

Wild.

[Dove]

Different times.

[Akash Singh]

So I think it is that like, polar, you know, like pole kind of thing.

[Andrew Schulz]

Wow.

[Dove]

40 mil.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's three and a half million a month.

[Dove]

Impressive.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's crazy.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. What a world.

[Mark Gagnon]

She making more money than Jaylen Herz. Ain't that crazy?

[Akash Singh]

That is wild.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's crazy.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

Wait, what is his contract?

[Mark Gagnon]

It's probably around the same, but just like an NFL quarterback. If she's getting paid. Like an NFL. Like a good NFL quarterback.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

No cte. No sex even.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Dove]

Do we believe she's a virgin?

[Andrew Schulz]

That's. That's where. The only reason I believe it is because she's made so so much money having virginity attached to it that there would be some dude if he smashed that would come out and be like, nah, I hit it. Like, think about how many dudes came out and they were talking about Travis Hunter and his.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, yeah, right.

[Andrew Schulz]

Like it wasn't every dude who DM'd her. Like, oh, look, she's in my DM. Blah, blah, blah. Like there's a pylon. Yeah. Or some hating ass would be like, oh, no, one of my friends slept with her. She's lying. She shouldn't make all that money. Ah, yeah. There's something unsettling about this.

[Mark Gagnon]

It's cuz you have a daughter now.

[Andrew Schulz]

Dude, you think that that's. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

As you twist your ring. Wedding ring and concern.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. Like you want to talk to her and figure out what the happened. Yeah. I need to know why it it so meaningless.

[Mark Gagnon]

Curl dad. Shel is so funny. I just want to get through to it.

[Andrew Schulz]

But y'all don't have girls. And you feel the same way too, aren't you?

[Al]

Like, why?

[Andrew Schulz]

Why? I need to know why you don't care at all. Nothing. No concern.

[Akash Singh]

I feel it. Intellectually, I'm less, like, disturbed. I think probably the same integral level you are.

[Andrew Schulz]

Fair enough.

[Dove]

Yeah. I just think you're disgusting. Me too.

[Andrew Schulz]

And then where do you go from here? Once you already have that once. You have a thousand bodies in 12 hours, it's like.

[Dove]

But then I think there's some dudes like Mark Zed that like that. Now it's going to be some dudes that want to wife up the girl with the world record.

[Andrew Schulz]

But now she can never do less than a thousand.

[Dove]

Oh, no, I think she can go.

[Andrew Schulz]

Back to normal, but she can't be like, you can't promote 200 guys this weekend. We'll be like, all right.

[Al]

Like, yeah, I watched the documentary about the girl who did a hundred. And you would.

[Andrew Schulz]

You would watch the doc and not the. Why did he watch the fucking?

[Akash Singh]

What do you think he meant, bro?

[Al]

No, I didn't watch the fucking.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, he watched. Somebody did a documentary about it. You. You watched the gay parts? Dude, there's a girl getting. You could get all the same information.

[Al]

No, I want to know the psyche about it. And like, all right, I feel you on that.

[Andrew Schulz]

What was she doing?

[Al]

She. I watched documentary and then I read a bunch of articles about it and a bunch of psychologists were saying that she basically is using sex as self harm. Like, she had no idea what she was doing.

[Andrew Schulz]

Cutting, right?

[Al]

Yeah, similar. Like, she basically is, like, using it as a form of like, bodily body mutilation. Thank you. Yeah, and there was a guy, though, in the documentary like, that. They saw all these people signed up and she didn't really have a full understanding. It was sort of fucked the way it all happened. She cries, then it's very sad. But one of the guys wanted to be.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's the only part that I got turned on by, actually.

[Akash Singh]

Okay, that's. That's crazy.

[Al]

But there's a guy, like.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's when I started jerking off. I was like, all right, we getting somewhere?

[Mark Gagnon]

What?

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm talking about some real authentic emotion. Keep it up, Keep it up.

[Al]

There's a guy who wanted to be last, like, legitimately, like, requested. He's like, I'll show up, but I want to be last. I was like, that's crazy.

[Mark Gagnon]

So crazy.

[Akash Singh]

Nah, I've done that at a comedy show before. I get that. Can I go then?

[Andrew Schulz]

Man, the ego. He must have. I Wonder if they measure the guys. Because she got to say, you can't have, have like a bludgeon. Like, you can't. Yeah. Especially or just at any time. It's like, that's gotta, that's got to be way more taxing. Like a guy with like a 12 inch dick is like taking four dicks.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's true.

[Akash Singh]

Four. They could add that. That should be part of the metric. Like, like if it's. If you got a 12 incher, that's two at least.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's like a total of inches. Really? It's like buying pizza. Like a cool shot.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, exactly.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

How many inches of dick do you think she took down? Right. If it's like what, two and a half average.

[Al]

We can do the math on this.

[Andrew Schulz]

So, so, so the, the doctor or whatever who was diagnosing her with this. It was like a therapist or something.

[Al]

It was actually an article after I read that was basically like reviewing it and yeah, they were just like, yeah, it's probably a pretty. It's self harm. It's basically self harm. And she really didn't do a bunch of research on it. But yeah, that's the review.

[Akash Singh]

All right.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

What did Roger Ebert say? That's. I'm try.

[Al]

I'm trying to get the full 54 thou. 54. 5,454 inches of dick. I did the math. Wow. 5.61 inches average times 10.

[Akash Singh]

57.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's, that's.

[Mark Gagnon]

How many feet is that? Divide that by 12, yo.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

How tall is that? Like, is that a building?

[Mark Gagnon]

That's like 600ft of dick.

[Al]

She took 454ft of dick.

[Mark Gagnon]

She took a football field of dick.

[Andrew Schulz]

Can you, can you, can you divide 454 by 10?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Al]

45.4.

[Andrew Schulz]

She took a 45 story building worth of dick.

[Mark Gagnon]

Jesus Christ, dog.

[Akash Singh]

Nice.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's how much dick she took. Look at that. Look at the amount.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's correct. Crazy dog.

[Andrew Schulz]

Wow.

[Mark Gagnon]

It kind of makes it impressive when you think about it.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, right. Like you're almost looking at the Coliseum now.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's like a feat.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. Now it's. Honestly, this might be flipping me.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

I'm impressed with this bitch.

[Akash Singh]

Human beings are capable of so much. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

It's crazy.

[Akash Singh]

It's just like a triumph of just the human spirit.

[Mark Gagnon]

It really is.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. I mean, it's just remarkable.

[Andrew Schulz]

How do we use her?

[Mark Gagnon]

I think we did no, like for.

[Andrew Schulz]

The benefit of America, like militarily. Yeah, yeah.

[Akash Singh]

Maybe put on front line somewhere.

[Andrew Schulz]

I mean, these are the Type of women where it's like, you could make them honey pots, you know?

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

And, like, you can still do your horeshit, extract information while you're doing it, and, you know, benefit your country. Now you're a hero.

[Akash Singh]

But if you're willing to bang a thousand guys, you got. I don't know if you can honey pot. Like, hey, what. What you learn from the Taliban?

[Andrew Schulz]

Like, I sucked off a bunch.

[Akash Singh]

Like, did you make. Get the main guy? She's like, no, I was sucking off the other guy.

[Mark Gagnon]

No, but they canceled all their terrorism.

[Andrew Schulz]

Plans for your last.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's been used as a warfare tactic. I'm pretty sure the US did that. I forgot where.

[Dove]

But stop talking about your grandma.

[Andrew Schulz]

And the pot guys.

[Mark Gagnon]

We're about to hop into our Patreon episode. But before we do, we asked patrons to send in questions every week. They're so fun. And we want to start sharing little previews with you guys. So here's one. Check it out.

[Al]

What up, fellas?

[Andrew Schulz]

Happy new year. $20 million. Would you, A, suck a dick to completion, or B, get a Dubai porta potty and take a second and think about it, because it'll reveal a lot of shit about your homies that you thought you knew that you.

[Al]

It's news to you.

[Mark Gagnon]

I don't know what that says about me, but Chad's like, shit on my chest. No question. Over sucking a dick.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, that's probably true.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's just so. It's like, degrading. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

You know, Else is degrading sucking a guy's dick to completion?

[Andrew Schulz]

Not really.

[Akash Singh]

And then we wonder why wives don't do it. We can't perpetuate this.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't think it's that degrading. Like, I think it's a pretty normal thing.

[Dove]

I don't give a.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's gross because it's gay, but outside of that, it's not like. It's not like, a degrading act.

[Mark Gagnon]

Would you rather suck the dick?

[Andrew Schulz]

No, I'm gonna get on.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, but. But it's not.

[Andrew Schulz]

I agree with.

[Akash Singh]

It's not super degrading.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's not degrading. On. Then also, I would rather have someone on my back.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, obviously. But that's not a choice.

[Dove]

You don't have that choice.

[Andrew Schulz]

Well, maybe I could negotiate for that.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, you could charm them. You could probably charm them. Yeah, my back's actually better.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. So much better.

[Dove]

Well, then maybe you can negotiate just kissing the dick and not sucking it.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, I kiss a dick for 20 million.

[Andrew Schulz]

You see, if you kissing a dick just like ma. I don't think that that's gay unless they nut immediately upon kissing.

[Akash Singh]

That's gay on them. That's gay on them.

[Andrew Schulz]

Surprise. You nut, like, the part of you.

[Mark Gagnon]

That was, like, flatter you kiss the side, the shaft, and then avoid any bust.

[Andrew Schulz]

But what if you kiss the side.

[Mark Gagnon]

Just shot like that?

[Andrew Schulz]

Like, would you look at your wife different? Be like, yo, how do you. Like, I'm nice, bro? Like, like, what are you doing that I'm not doing? Like, what am I doing? You not doing? Just kiss the side of it.

[Akash Singh]

You can teach a course, make another 20 mil. Yeah. Also, is sucking dick for 20 mil even gay? I don't even know it's gay.

[Mark Gagnon]

No, that's some gay.

[Akash Singh]

It's not gay.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't think it's gay if it's for $20 million. The problem is the motion of moving your head up and down on a dick is super gay. And I'll never get that out of your head.

[Akash Singh]

Never get that out of your head.

[Andrew Schulz]

Every time you spend that money. Please let it get out. We're going to let that out.

[Akash Singh]

Just keep on se.

[Andrew Schulz]

Hey, dude. It's in your head, and it will be there forever.

[Akash Singh]

Whose dick is it? I can't even look up.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, don't even start that. Your dad's. Oh, no.

[Akash Singh]

Why do that? Get out of my head, bro. Stop.

[Andrew Schulz]

Have you seen your dad's meat?

[Akash Singh]

Not recently, no.

[Andrew Schulz]

But, like, as a child, would you see us swinging around in the house or not?

[Akash Singh]

Never in the house, but I do. I do have a memory of, like, showering. And I think it was that memory. My dad was like, all right, we're not. We're done. Like, we would shower together, and I'd go on a towel, and I'd sit on the. On the side when I was done, shower. And then he would finish. And I have, like, one memory of that, and I think that was, like, the exact age my dad was like.

[Andrew Schulz]

All right, you're four years old.

[Akash Singh]

We can't do this.

[Andrew Schulz]

Wait, why?

[Akash Singh]

Because you can't. Once your kid makes memories, you can't be showering with them.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh. Oh, God. I got it. Got it.

[Mark Gagnon]

You showered with your dad? Yeah. That's weird, right?

[Andrew Schulz]

I know.

[Mark Gagnon]

I know. I can just.

[Akash Singh]

That's so weird.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's so weird. Weird. That's not weird. It's not weird if it's our baby. That's some Catholic shit. That is weird. That's weird. Just takes him and showers him in there.

[Dove]

The dad don't got to be naked.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, we're showering, bro.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, they're both showering.

[Akash Singh]

At least I have a dad. What are you talking about, bro?

[Andrew Schulz]

Come on. Shut off. Weird, you know, Shower with a dad. I rather not have a dad. That was good.

[Akash Singh]

The fact that you're being nice makes me think that it's bad.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's not weird.

[Akash Singh]

The fact that you're being so nice.

[Mark Gagnon]

Makes you think it's really a bad day.

[Andrew Schulz]

Scar. Don't leave me. Scar. So what happened? Like you would get. He would get out of this.

[Akash Singh]

Want to talk about.

[Andrew Schulz]

And then there's so many kids too. It's a conveyor bel. But what were. What were you waiting for? Like what was he doing for him to leave?

[Akash Singh]

And. And then I was like 3 years old.

[Mark Gagnon]

Why was your dad still showing?

[Andrew Schulz]

Why did you get out?

[Al]

It's cold.

[Andrew Schulz]

Was he like washing you up?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, cuz I didn't. I didn't wash my hair in my ears.

[Andrew Schulz]

So he would wash you up.

[Mark Gagnon]

He. Why he got to be naked?

[Andrew Schulz]

That's what I'm saying. Why he's pop.

[Akash Singh]

In the shower?

[Andrew Schulz]

It's a shower. It's hard to like put your hands just in the shower. My dad has done that.

[Mark Gagnon]

I remember my dad doing that.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yes, it's very easy. So he would get in the shower and then he would. And so he would bust or like.

[Akash Singh]

No, get it out of my head. Put that in my head.

[Mark Gagnon]

Removable shower head.

[Andrew Schulz]

So you're sitting there with your towel on. And you're sitting there.

[Akash Singh]

It's not that funny, Al. Either it's normal or it's traumatic. You shouldn't be laughing.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh my God. It's normal or it's traumatic. Al. Al, we gotta be serious about it. So you're sitting there and your dad's just fucking way.

[Akash Singh]

Either he's normal or it's dramatic.

[Andrew Schulz]

And his elbow's just hitting the glass. He's making all sorts of sounds, right? So his elbows banging into the glass. And then. Okay. And you're just sitting there with the towel wrapped around you, drying off and so cozy.

[Akash Singh]

I had a little kid towel with the hood on.

[Andrew Schulz]

And I would sit there and then. And he would finish and then. Did he need like a. I had.

[Akash Singh]

To get dressed, bro. I was one year old.

[Andrew Schulz]

Kindergarten. Kindergarten.

[Akash Singh]

I was three months old, bro.

[Andrew Schulz]

You said kindergarten.

[Akash Singh]

No, that's not.

[Al]

He didn't go to kindergarten.

[Andrew Schulz]

You were homeschooled. So you didn't even have friends to tell you.

[Mark Gagnon]

Other kids. What's happening there?

[Al]

You didn't have a teacher to call cps. That's crazy, bro.

[Dove]

Yo.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, my God.

[Akash Singh]

European, bro. We're European.

[Andrew Schulz]

God. Would you have a shower with your moms? What was that like?

[Akash Singh]

That was much older. That was. That was way older.

[Andrew Schulz]

Nah, with your moms. Have a lawsuit.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's weird. I would shower with Al's mom.

[Andrew Schulz]

No. No questions asked.

[Akash Singh]

I don't know if you can afford it, bro. That is expensive, dude.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, God.

[Akash Singh]

Hold on.

[Andrew Schulz]

Why is it expensive to shower? That was mom. What are you trying to say?

[Dove]

He's 1.5.

[Akash Singh]

She 1.5.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's what he said.

[Dove]

You know why?

[Andrew Schulz]

Thinking about 1.5.

[Dove]

Y'all can saddle up.

[Andrew Schulz]

Hey, yo, yo.

[Akash Singh]

Yo. Do you start to go five me?

[Andrew Schulz]

Hey, I'm just saying.

[Akash Singh]

Let's start a go get it.

[Andrew Schulz]

Go saddle up.

[Akash Singh]

Get a gofundme already put it on the Internet.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. We're never not starting with Patreon questions ever again. For Patreon.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, my God. Just saying it is what it is. Oh, she has it, you know.

[Akash Singh]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Schulz]

Can we go deep, though?

[Dove]

Yo, see, that's Dallas.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's why.

[Akash Singh]

That's not what you paid for.

[Andrew Schulz]

We can't half stroke that. You got to be able to go deep.

[Dove]

So it's like, can we go as.

[Akash Singh]

Deep as we can?

[Andrew Schulz]

Can we go as deep as we can?

[Dove]

Yeah, yeah, do your thing. She hasn't been around a block in a while. She. It'll be fun for her.

[Mark Gagnon]

Have you ever.

[Andrew Schulz]

And I know this is like a weird question, but like, have you asked her like when the last time was?

[Dove]

No, but I don't think she actually. There was a was only one dude after my dad.

[Andrew Schulz]

Really?

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

How long?

[Dove]

White dude named Ron from Alabama. I remember that.

[Al]

That up?

[Dove]

No, I it up.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, really?

[Dove]

Yeah, because I started getting in trouble like all the. That I was doing and stuff. So she's like, I can't not watch him because he's gonna get.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, yeah. And then she never dated, never dated again. And you've spoken to her about this?

[Mark Gagnon]

She's not having some one night stands.

[Andrew Schulz]

Just having some fun out there. Not that a dating apps or any of that kind of stuff.

[Dove]

No, it's like you. I think you turn it off and.

[Andrew Schulz]

Then you got just.

[Dove]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Akash Singh]

But you ever ask, you ask your parents.

[Andrew Schulz]

My dad jokes around about it all the time. Like he's my whole life. He's been joking around about smashing my mom's and also not getting laid.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's not true.

[Andrew Schulz]

No I know he love but like I used to hear him my dad be rocking that that's got to be.

[Akash Singh]

Worse than showering, bro. There's no way why are we letting natural things that's way weirder.

[Andrew Schulz]

Two parents.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's what we all hope my dad.

[Andrew Schulz]

Family platonically my dad rocked that.

[Mark Gagnon]

Down.

[Andrew Schulz]

Dude, that's crazy.

[Dove]

You're four years old. You're at dick level with your.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

That'S where you get the suns from, right? Is that when you get the suds just like me Some of.

[Akash Singh]

Just hit.

[Al]

Him in the head.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's not weird.

[Akash Singh]

It's European. It's European. Look it up. It's European.

[Andrew Schulz]

We're closer.

[Akash Singh]

We're more closer.

[Al]

You know that shit is crazy.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yo, if you want to see the rest of that episode or any of the Patreon episodes From the last five and a half years, go to patreon.com Flagrant love, y'all.