Ralph Barbosa on Netflix Fame, Getting Recognized at Jiffy Lube, & His Love for Tom Hanks

Summary

Podcast Summary: Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh Episode: Ralph Barbosa on Netflix Fame, Getting Recognized at Jiffy Lube, & His Love for Tom Hanks Release Date: August 13, 2025

Introduction: Welcoming Ralph Barbosa The episode kicks off with Ralph Barbosa taking over the show, introducing himself as the new host. Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh welcome him warmly, setting a relaxed and humorous tone for the conversation.

[00:18] Andrew Schulz:
"Hey, Ralph Barbosa is on the episode. Let's go, superstar."

Ralph Barbosa discusses his latest comedy special, “Planet Bosa,” and its success on Hulu.

Planet Bosa: Launch and Reception Ralph proudly announces his new special, "Planet Bosa," available on Hulu. The hosts share their enthusiasm, although there’s some playful confusion about the title's origin.

[01:00] Ralph Barbosa:
"It's the greatest special ever made."

[01:04] Ralph Barbosa:
"It's called Planet Bosa."

Life Changes with Fame and Wealth The conversation shifts to how fame and money have impacted Ralph's life. Despite earning significantly, Ralph humorously claims his current wealth mirrors what he had when he first started, highlighting the unpredictable nature of success in comedy.

[02:24] Andrew Schulz:
"But what, you live with your pops?"

**Ralph explains his ongoing passion for cars, particularly those found on Facebook Marketplace, and shares his love for negotiating deals.

Passion for Cars and Car Culture Ralph delves into his love for classic and junk cars, emphasizing his preference for making over restoring. The discussion covers various car models, the culture surrounding them in different cities like Chicago and the Hamptons, and humorous anecdotes about driving experiences.

[03:00] Ralph Barbosa:
"So the first time I came out here, I had a few cars and I was really proud of like I have like this low mileage Impala and stuff."

[03:35] Andrew Schulz:
"This seems like what white people do. I was out in the Hamptons for a couple weeks. Very white place."

Love for Tom Hanks and Personal Relationships Ralph expresses his admiration for Tom Hanks, coupled with humorous speculation about conspiracy theories linking Hanks to controversial lists. The hosts engage in playful banter about celebrities and personal crushes.

[14:01] Andrew Schulz:
"You didn’t notice that?"

[97:52] Mark Gagnon:
"I need to know if I can."

Personal Life and Family Ralph opens up about his son, sharing heartfelt moments and the challenges of balancing a career in comedy with fatherhood. The discussion highlights the importance of family support and Ralph’s desire to be a positive role model.

[86:44] Ralph Barbosa:
"And then my son wanted to grab the shades, and I was like, nah, don't take them off."

Evolution as a Comedian: From Headlining to Crowd Work Ralph reflects on his journey in comedy, transitioning from scripted jokes to more spontaneous crowd work. He discusses overcoming writer's block and the value of connecting authentically with the audience.

[107:01] Ralph Barbosa:
"I've just enjoyed the crowd work more."

[108:25] Ralph Barbosa:
"It's the most honest moment."

Acting Aspirations and Other Projects Ralph shares his foray into acting, including a Verizon commercial and his efforts to secure roles in TV and film. Despite his successes in comedy, he candidly discusses the difficulties and limited opportunities in acting.

[28:10] Mark Gagnon:
"Is that more rural?"

[41:12] Akash Singh:
"I don't think you'd be happy being a feature. I think you're you."

Comedy with Personal Touches and Audience Engagement The hosts and Ralph engage in light-hearted discussions about personal anecdotes, therapy, and the pressures of maintaining relevance in the comedy scene. They emphasize the importance of staying true to oneself and the therapeutic aspects of performing.

[39:22] Ralph Barbosa:
"I've been trying not to read them in general, cuz like good ones and bad ones."

[40:20] Ralph Barbosa:
"I better not. All right, let's stay still and let's talk about some real subjects."

Promotions and Future Plans As the episode nears its end, Ralph promotes his automotive channel and his previous podcast, Fat Fish. Andrew Schulz introduces his own podcast, encouraging listeners to check out Ralph's work and upcoming projects.

[113:43] Ralph Barbosa:
"Did I mention I started an automotive channel? I was supposed to promote that formula bean."

[121:15] Ralph Barbosa:
"But I have a son, you know?"

Notable Quotes:

• Ralph Barbosa [01:00]:
  "It's the greatest special ever made."

• Ralph Barbosa [03:00]:
  "So the first time I came out here, I had a few cars and I was really proud of like I have like this low mileage Impala and stuff."

• Andrew Schulz [14:01]:
  "You didn’t notice that?"

• Ralph Barbosa [107:01]:
  "I've just enjoyed the crowd work more."

• Ralph Barbosa [111:10]:
  "But I actually feel like it's... because it devolved."

Conclusion: A Blend of Humor and Heart The episode wraps up with Ralph expressing his continued passion for comedy, his commitment to personal growth, and his gratitude towards his fans. The hosts reaffirm their support and look forward to future collaborations, leaving listeners with a sense of camaraderie and anticipation for what's next.

[122:53] Ralph Barbosa:
"Watch Street Fight."

Overall Flow and Engagement: The conversation seamlessly transitions between professional achievements, personal stories, and humorous exchanges, making the summary both comprehensive and engaging. Ralph Barbosa's candidness and the hosts' playful interactions provide a well-rounded view of his journey in comedy and personal life, offering valuable insights for both fans and newcomers.

Transcript

[Ralph Barbosa]

And we're back, everybody. I'm Ralph Barbosa, and I'm going to be taking over flavor today.

[Andrew Schulz]

Hell, yeah.

[Akash Singh]

Let's go, baby.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Calm down. First time. We're going to make it.

[Andrew Schulz]

This is your camera.

[Akash Singh]

This is your camera.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, this is my camera.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. Also.

[Ralph Barbosa]

What are we back from commercial break?

[Mark Gagnon]

This is the start of the episode.

[Andrew Schulz]

Start of the episode, dude.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Well, welcome, everybody.

[Andrew Schulz]

Hey, Ralph Barbosa is on the episode. Let's go, superstar.

[Ralph Barbosa]

What are we talking about today?

[Andrew Schulz]

You, man, you. Whatever else you want to talk about. I heard George Lopez loves you. Favorite. Your favorite comment comic.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Probably me and George Lopez will be starring in the new Street Fighter movie. So.

[Mark Gagnon]

I think that's just a street fight. I think.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It'S fighted.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yo, so you got a new special. Just came out last Friday.

[Ralph Barbosa]

As.

[Andrew Schulz]

As of the time.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, yeah, that's Friday. My special.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, I heard it's. I heard it's killing it, dude. Crazy numbers.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, numbers are world.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It's the greatest special ever made.

[Andrew Schulz]

What's it called? You want to plug it?

[Ralph Barbosa]

It's called Planet Bosa.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

And it's on Hulu, so.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Hulu, not Netflix. It's a Dragon Ball Z ripoff name. It's like they have Planet Vegeta.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, I was wondering what that was.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, like, Planet Bolson.

[Andrew Schulz]

That was kind of stretch. I'm going to be honest. It wasn't that clear.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It was definitely not that clear.

[Mark Gagnon]

But it always makes sense. The trailer had, like, you know, like.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Some, like, video game.

[Mark Gagnon]

Video game animation. You hit the. You know, the Dragon Ball?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, no, no. I hit.

[Akash Singh]

I hit.

[Ralph Barbosa]

The Kamehameha was the last special.

[Mark Gagnon]

I didn't know you were such a little weeaboo.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah, nah.

[Mark Gagnon]

You're a weeaboo, bro.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Not really.

[Mark Gagnon]

What is a weeaboo?

[Akash Singh]

I'm old.

[Mark Gagnon]

A weeaboo. That is a white person that's obsessed with, like, Japanese Asian culture.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'm not obsessed. I don't even know the name of my favorite sushi spot.

[Fahim Anwar]

He ain't saying he's not white, though.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's.

[Mark Gagnon]

It.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You got to take every, like, opportunity to be white.

[Andrew Schulz]

What are you doing? Now that you got all this money, you got all this fame, How's. How's life different? You came on here 20, 23, I think it was, and you were just starting your crazy rise.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Which is fire. I'm glad we see you both. So how's. How things changed? How's life changed?

[Ralph Barbosa]

You know what's crazy is I'm. I Made so much money from then to now. But today I have the same amount of money I had when I first came on here.

[Andrew Schulz]

But what, you live with your pops?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Facebook Marketplace, brother.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

How many.

[Mark Gagnon]

How many defills?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Horrible negotiator.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

What does it look like? Like, how often you on Facebook Marketplace looking at cars?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Be honest. All the time.

[Mark Gagnon]

Every day.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And I love to be the guy who like blesses people. Cuz you're on Marketplace. You know how it is. Everybody's lowballing you. I love to be the guy that's like, I'll give you $10,000 extra. Why n. I won't do that. I won't.

[Mark Gagnon]

I'm like Ash's Indian. Inside of him is getting so angry.

[Andrew Schulz]

I couldn't handle it. Wait, so what are you spending money on? I know whips. But like how many cars you got?

[Ralph Barbosa]

So the first time I came out here, I had a few cars and I was really proud of like I have like this low mileage Impala and stuff. But I've discovered. I don't like that. I've discovered I'm more into the marketplace junk that we can like turn into something, you know? Yeah, I.

[Damian Lemon]

What kind of junk?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Junk, like junk, bro. Like. Like I bought a 1976 Camaro. Not even like a Z28.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, real trash.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Real trash.

[Mark Gagnon]

It sounds awesome.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Autom, huh?

[Damian Lemon]

Four speed automatic. Like the worst version of it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

The worst.

[Andrew Schulz]

But I like that.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I like that it holds in the ground.

[Andrew Schulz]

This is very. This seems like white things.

[Mark Gagnon]

I'm saying.

[Akash Singh]

It's a weeaboo, bro.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This seems like what white people do. I was out in the Hamptons for a couple weeks. Very white place. And what they will do is buy old cars for while they're in the Hamptons and whip those around. And that's the flex.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That's the Hampton car.

[Andrew Schulz]

How shitty is your Hamptons car?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. What?

[Mark Gagnon]

No, that's not shitty. It's not shitty.

[Andrew Schulz]

It is shitty though.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But are they like old, like classic? Are they like shitty but worth an.

[Mark Gagnon]

Electric fj or it's like just like it's an old Bronco.

[Andrew Schulz]

Like a 1988 Land Cruiser.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That's okay.

[Andrew Schulz]

It looks kind of tough.

[Mark Gagnon]

Completely refab. The interior is all redone. They're super.

[Andrew Schulz]

What are you talking about? Andrew's suv. He was like, where's the gear shift?

[Mark Gagnon]

His car is impossible to get. It's impossible to get.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's all esoteric. That kind of. What's ess? What'd you say?

[Damian Lemon]

It's like, all cars that are sort of hard to get, like, that are unique and low volume cars, they're still pieces of.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But they're. No, they're like, technically valuable. Yeah, but they're like.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, I don't think they're technically like.

[Damian Lemon]

A 90s defender is like 200k and everyone out there wants one of those.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Is Michelle Pfeiffer still alive?

[Andrew Schulz]

That's a great question.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yes, I'm gonna say. Yes, I'm gonna say.

[Ralph Barbosa]

When I see these cars, I think of, like, Michelle Pfeiffer, like, in her time.

[Andrew Schulz]

Like, she was.

[Ralph Barbosa]

This was.

[Andrew Schulz]

She was joint.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, you still have to respect the beauty.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You still gotta respect that it's a Michelle Pfeiffer car. Is this even though today I wouldn't.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Stop it, Ralph. You're not gonna. Come on, let's get Michelle. Let's get Michelle today, though.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, I think she aged as a woman is allowed to age naturally.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Jamie Poole.

[Andrew Schulz]

She didn't do get no work done. But I'm not. I'm not taking a run at it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But I just did Rogan's podcast her.

[Fahim Anwar]

As Catwoman made me start liking white women.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, Ralph, Ralph, how is being single at this?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, I'm single, but I'm in love.

[Akash Singh]

Oh, yeah?

[Andrew Schulz]

With whom?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I can't say.

[Andrew Schulz]

Why not? Dude, wait, hold on.

[Ralph Barbosa]

She doesn't love me back, bro.

[Andrew Schulz]

Can you wait? Sorry, I forgot your name already. Gabriel. Can you.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Abraham.

[Andrew Schulz]

Abraham. Oh, my bad, bro.

[Ralph Barbosa]

He's so rich, bro.

[Mark Gagnon]

People's names are like, yeah, he just makes it up.

[Ralph Barbosa]

He's like, abraham. He's like, gabriel.

[Andrew Schulz]

I know. I'm just old, dude.

[Mark Gagnon]

I'm full. He's like, eric, and he's too nice. He almost accepted. He's like, yes, sir.

[Akash Singh]

Damian.

[Andrew Schulz]

Tell us a little bit.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Please, please do that to him because. Because he needs a comeback story. This is going to be in the NFL one day, hopefully soon.

[Akash Singh]

Word.

[Andrew Schulz]

What happened?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nothing happened.

[Akash Singh]

It's.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's in the process.

[Ralph Barbosa]

What do you mean? What happened? Did he already look like he missed his shot?

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

See the way you said it? You said comeback story. Dude, why you putting that on me.

[Ralph Barbosa]

As the comeback story? As in, like, when he makes it big, he's going to come back here and be like.

[Andrew Schulz]

All right, Aaron, so tell us a little bit. What's. What's going on with Ralph's love life? He's in love with some girl. Unrequited love.

[Akash Singh]

I can't.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I can't say much, but Then why.

[Andrew Schulz]

The we give you a microphone, Dimitri?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I can't be a seller to my guy, bro. You see, he's a loyal friend. Why he's on the team.

[Mark Gagnon]

How many cars he buy you to keep this silence?

[Fahim Anwar]

Zero.

[Mark Gagnon]

But he fixes my car. Oh, there you go.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Thanks to Mexican.

[Mark Gagnon]

He needs it right now, bro. He's sweating my ac.

[Ralph Barbosa]

My AC got messed up.

[Mark Gagnon]

I didn't know the.

[Ralph Barbosa]

The Dallas heat was real, and he warned me, but.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Where'd you come from?

[Ralph Barbosa]

California.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, Dallas heat is different.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Sucks.

[Andrew Schulz]

And now when I go back, I'm like, I can't do that. I don't. I used to say I'm gonna move back, and now I'm like that.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Now you're in the Hamptons, driving Michelle Pfeiffer around.

[Mark Gagnon]

It's crazy how fast it changes, right?

[Andrew Schulz]

It switches up quick.

[Mark Gagnon]

Wait, so where's this girl? She live in. In.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't want to talk about it. No more dating. Life has been fun, Abraham. Life is cool.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm not trying to threaten you. All I'm saying is I do have the number to ice.

[Mark Gagnon]

Hey, bro, they want me here and there.

[Damian Lemon]

You can't get me here.

[Fahim Anwar]

I'm legal in both countries.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Citizenship.

[Akash Singh]

He can't lose.

[Andrew Schulz]

I heard Trump is trying to take that shit away.

[Ralph Barbosa]

The dual citizenship for everybody.

[Andrew Schulz]

You got to choose up. That's what I heard. You getting dual citizenship.

[Fahim Anwar]

I know, but it's still fine for Trump to do that. It's like, nah, you got to choose one.

[Andrew Schulz]

If you.

[Ralph Barbosa]

If you. If like, you had to pick a country to be the next, like, superpower, like, the place everyone go. Everyone goes to to get jobs, what would you want to do?

[Akash Singh]

India.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. I mean, yeah, that's what I think it's going to be.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You for real?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

N. India's doing that good right now.

[Mark Gagnon]

I like you talk about, like, you said NFL team. Like, wait, who they get, who they get?

[Andrew Schulz]

A long way to go, but they're on the come up.

[Ralph Barbosa]

They had a long.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Build some factories.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, yeah. China might be before India, but I think India's going to outlast.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But, like, if it was up to you, you choose India.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

What else would I choose?

[Mark Gagnon]

You can, like, where I want it to be or where I think it's going to be.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Where you want it to be.

[Mark Gagnon]

I don't know, bro. It's got to be a place with dreams. People got to believe that it can happen. And it's also got a place with nice weather. That's What?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I want Spain.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Southern. What if we just run it back? Because Spain used to run all the shit.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Spain used to run shit.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Back in the. I thought you were.

[Mark Gagnon]

Why do you think you speak Span Ish?

[Andrew Schulz]

Joe said he was. You said he was a history guy.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I. You.

[Andrew Schulz]

You're talking about the history of Australia.

[Akash Singh]

When.

[Andrew Schulz]

Talking about the history of Australia, you were talking about the Boston Tea Party at the podcast in la.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, yeah. Oh, you know about the Boston Tea Party?

[Fahim Anwar]

You switched up on us, bro.

[Andrew Schulz]

Do I know about the Boston Tea Party? I have an idea of it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I feel like. I feel like that's one of the. It's because the Boston Tea Party, like, if you really think about it, like on social media these days, they don't make white people look good. Mark. I'm sorry, what do you mean? White people did this and white people did that back in the day. Right.

[Andrew Schulz]

I agree.

[Mark Gagnon]

That is true.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Make white history look so bad.

[Mark Gagnon]

Thank you.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But you guys had cool ass moments like the Boston Tea Party.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yes.

[Akash Singh]

Right. Yes.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Because of taxes and.

[Akash Singh]

Right, Exactly.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Something like that.

[Akash Singh]

Civil War, right?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't know about Civil War.

[Mark Gagnon]

Well, half of us look good. Half of us look pretty good.

[Andrew Schulz]

Half of them look. Yeah, that half gets lost. It's a real.

[Akash Singh]

Hey, hey.

[Andrew Schulz]

We look at the Civil War as a real glass half empty kind of situation, isn't it? You know what I mean? What about the other. What about the water?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Which you guys were waiting exactly.

[Fahim Anwar]

What half? What half are you talking.

[Mark Gagnon]

I'm Canadian, bro. That's what, like, people would come up there for. For refuge.

[Fahim Anwar]

Okay.

[Mark Gagnon]

And we would take y' all in.

[Andrew Schulz]

So Boston Canadian, it's a Boston Tea Party cool moment to you because I.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Think that was cool because a bunch of Boston dudes, you know, just mad as that the check said Ned and then. Gross.

[Mark Gagnon]

They got a versus deal. Like the.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Let's go dump this gas tea in the water. Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Doug, coffee from now on.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And you know what? Great Britain was just like, they doing and start fighting while I was watching this one video. Because I'm. I'm not really a history buff, but I'm trying to, you know, gain up my knowledge here. And I was watching this video on like. Like how. How, like a bunch of war started and.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, like which ones?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, there was like World War I. It started with, like World War II. It was like, how did that one start? And the video was like, well, to understand how that one started, you got to understand why World War I started. And then in that that video, that dude was like, if you gotta understand how this one started, you gotta understand like the Seven Years War and then the French Revolution.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's too much. See, now you're losing. This is my theory.

[Ralph Barbosa]

They lost me on all.

[Mark Gagnon]

This is my theory on history is that like, to understand any war right now, you got to go back to the first one to the. Back to the other one. There's only ever been one war, you.

[Akash Singh]

Know what I mean?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Which.

[Mark Gagnon]

Which was just life. You know what I mean? Like, I understand.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Like, aren't you.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay? Because Genghis. I gotta study fucking Genghis Khan to see how Trump got elected?

[Mark Gagnon]

Unfortunately, yes.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, I mean, like, what is that?

[Mark Gagnon]

It's so annoying to understand the Middle east right now. You got to go back to World War II when it all got carved up.

[Andrew Schulz]

But that's not that far back.

[Mark Gagnon]

But then to understand World War II, you got to go to World War I.

[Akash Singh]

Okay?

[Mark Gagnon]

And then to understand that, you got to understand the scramble one.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's the one.

[Akash Singh]

All right.

[Andrew Schulz]

From there forward from that guy getting shot. What's his name?

[Mark Gagnon]

Franz Ferdinand, Archduke.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Who the fuck is that?

[Mark Gagnon]

Dude, you're the one that saw the video.

[Andrew Schulz]

So apparently I don't know. He's going to know better than me. He'll give you in depth. We need a history expert on this pod. But Franz Ferdinand was the Archduke of Prussia. Prussia, which didn't even know a thing anymore. His assassination.

[Akash Singh]

What.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Where was. Where were they at?

[Mark Gagnon]

Fact check me.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Near Russia.

[Mark Gagnon]

They were biting Russia heavy. They were like, we need a name for this.

[Damian Lemon]

Austria hungry.

[Mark Gagnon]

Austria, Hungary.

[Andrew Schulz]

Dude, he got shot and that's what kicked off. That was like the thing that kicked off World War I and then World War I kicked off World War II. That one I know about because we were.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I saw on the video that Great Britain, they were like dying to go to World War I. Like, they were like, they wanted that because they wanted to take out Germany's navy. Apparently. Apparently, like everybody was kicking Germany's ass Pre World War I.

[Andrew Schulz]

So I think that makes sense because apparently the after World War I, Germany was. And then they like made him pay all these taxes or they were just. I don't know what taxes. Very heavy handed.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Germany had like some rough years and.

[Andrew Schulz]

Then they got really poor. And then when Hitler came in power and they started making more money, they were like, oh, okay. Like that allowed for Hitler to come into power and to be like, enabled.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't know about all that. I didn't get that far into the video. But What I understood Germany had only become Germany type shit.

[Mark Gagnon]

That austerity type shit.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, I Shit type shit.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I know about World War II.

[Andrew Schulz]

My information is all type shit. Information. I'm not exactly. Right. But it's that type of shit.

[Mark Gagnon]

The way they try to kill Franz Ferdinand is hilarious. So this is the dude. Basically, you got, like, a whole. Everyone is pissed off in Europe. Everyone's got different alliances. And then this one guy dying basically created a whole issue and put every. Every little alliance into motion. Everyone starts fighting.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I feel like the bigger your mustache get, like, the more people probably want to kill you, you know? I mean, like, that guy was pushing it.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I feel like that's how Andrew Scholl's gonna look in a few years.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. Once you start going up, like, once it starts, like, to defy gravity so you don't.

[Akash Singh]

There.

[Andrew Schulz]

He hasn't talked about this, but they're gonna take the extensions out of his hair and leave a couple for his mustache. Yeah. You know what I noticed about this guy? Beautiful eyes.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

You didn't notice that?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I can't see.

[Andrew Schulz]

Too homophobic and Mexican, to be honest.

[Ralph Barbosa]

About the fact that his eyes are. I thought he was blind because they're that blue. Yeah. That's crazy. He's probably back then.

[Mark Gagnon]

I think that's actually what happened. He was literally on a vacation with, like, his mistress, I'm pretty sure.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Well, he was in Sarajevo with, like, a side piece and then. And then. Or some like that.

[Akash Singh]

What? Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

If he had just been honest and told his homies who he was in love with, maybe they could have saved his life. You know what I mean?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Maybe you gotta die for love. You don't know what true love is even though you're happily married.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay, tell me about true love, dude.

[Ralph Barbosa]

True love. You just feel it. All right? True love is a combination of, like, head chemicals and brain chemicals.

[Andrew Schulz]

If you don't stop rotating in this chair, we're gonna have to switch.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's been way it's been.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Tell me that a lot on the podcast. Don't rotate.

[Andrew Schulz]

You understand? Here, now you look less comfortable.

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, it's okay.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay, Put your arms here. Just rest them.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I better not. All right, let's stay still and let's talk about some real subjects. How's married life for you? How's that been?

[Andrew Schulz]

I love it, dude.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

I love you thinking about it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Are you. Do you feel like it's affected your comedy? Like, are you more like a Ray Romano type now?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. I talk about marriage. More. But as soon as I started getting in relationships, I talked about it more. But there was like a whole. There's like a whole gold mine there of stuff to talk about.

[Ralph Barbosa]

There is. I mean, and everybody's situation is a little unique, but also relatable. The more. The more unique and. And specific you get into your stories and your jokes, the relatable they end up being.

[Andrew Schulz]

I know I got a good relationship joke based on the type of laugh. Because there's a laugh that's like, that's us. That's when I'm like, oh, I got one.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nice.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't think there's a big market for people who are in love with somebody they could never be with.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, there's a massive market for that.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Drake built a career off of that.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Drake loves everybody, though.

[Andrew Schulz]

Well, I mean, now he's a diff. He's in a different space. He's whoever he wants.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I mean, yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Back when he started, it was a lot of like, I like you. I don't know if you like me. I can see that kind of journey for you.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Do you think Drake will ever find love, like, true love?

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't know if he's looking for it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I think once you hit a certain tax bracket, it's that much harder.

[Andrew Schulz]

Do you think you're gonna hit that tax bracket? Because what I'm seeing from you is I don't want to be that.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I. I want to be like.

[Akash Singh]

I don't know.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Who knows what I want?

[Mark Gagnon]

You also let the record show AKA is going to try to force you to get married. Okay. Because ever since Akash got married, he wants everyone else to be married.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's not because I got married. We arrange marriages. That's. Don't ever test my.

[Mark Gagnon]

He's like, I got it good.

[Fahim Anwar]

You get to choose.

[Andrew Schulz]

My dad didn't get to choose.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's a good point.

[Andrew Schulz]

He won.

[Mark Gagnon]

That is true.

[Ralph Barbosa]

My mom lost your dad. I would. See, that's cool about the Indian cultures. Like, you guys get to choose. And I feel like that's a big weight off the shoulders, you know?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It's like, I don't want to choose, bro.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Because too many women are throwing themselves at you. I've heard stories.

[Akash Singh]

What?

[Ralph Barbosa]

From Woo?

[Andrew Schulz]

We do the same. We do the same venue sometimes. I hear stories.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You hear stories. They're bad stories.

[Andrew Schulz]

They're pretty cool stories. They're pretty cool stories.

[Ralph Barbosa]

They confuse me and Abraham a lot. Even though he's like 7 inches taller than me.

[Andrew Schulz]

I Don't want to blow up your spot. I'm just saying I hear stories, and if this girl, whom you love, or guy, whatever, if this person that you love, this non binary person, if they don't get it together, they might lose the opportunity. They might let Ralph Barbosa slip through their fingers. I mean, their fingers. I'm saying that part.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You should listen to them. But don't listen to the stories, all right? The stories are just rooms.

[Andrew Schulz]

This is a coveted asset.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'm like. Like, I'm very professional. I'm like CIA. I go in there, I get the job done, and I'm out. Like James Bond. James Bond, Jason Bourne.

[Andrew Schulz]

Are you talking about comedy or hoes?

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, comedy. You're going to boat with hoes? I know it sounds. I know it's like the song or whatever, but you just brought up a memory.

[Mark Gagnon]

Is this Chicago?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

How do you know about this?

[Mark Gagnon]

I just, you know, I heard stories. What can I say?

[Ralph Barbosa]

You heard these stories, too?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Sometimes we do the same boats. You know what I mean?

[Unknown]

Sometimes.

[Mark Gagnon]

I was on the boat, I was talking to the captain. I was like, you had any pirates out here? Oh, there's one.

[Ralph Barbosa]

We took the captain to the show afterwards. I was not, like, partaking in the hose on the boat. I was more just an observer. And I'm also not saying, like, I have to be very clear about this because I don't. I don't want to, like, be upset the person people. No, no. I just don't want you to tell.

[Fahim Anwar]

Me about this story because I didn't hear about this boat.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yes. Oh. I just want to say I don't. I'm not saying that all women are hoes. No, I'm not referring to women as hoes. No. I'm saying these particular women were, in fact, hoes. I was on a boat.

[Andrew Schulz]

As in whores? Prostitutes?

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, they're not professionals.

[Andrew Schulz]

You said. In fact. I just thought the fact.

[Ralph Barbosa]

When you add the R, I feel like you're implying that they, like, get paid. These women were not getting paid.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's worse. That's actually considerably worse in my eyes.

[Ralph Barbosa]

These women were holding the sport to me because they're doing it out of their heart. They're falling from the heart.

[Akash Singh]

Okay.

[Andrew Schulz]

God.

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, it just. It was just crazy to me. We're in Chicago and I just look.

[Andrew Schulz]

At hoes like open mic comics and whores like headliners.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You got to work your way up to that.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. Like you doing it. We all love the game.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Earn the hard. Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

But you have the paid spot. You don't get paid spots yet.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't know, man. Okay. I'm, like, very artsy, so I just prefer a hoe over a.

[Mark Gagnon]

The money's not tainting.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It's all creative.

[Akash Singh]

Okay, go ahead.

[Andrew Schulz]

Sorry.

[Akash Singh]

Continue.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Sorry. Anyway, we're in Chicago doing some shows, and we decide to stay an extra couple days to rent a boat because everybody. Not everybody, but a woman at a nightclub was like, you got to go on the lake. While you're here, you got to go rent a boat. Like, everybody goes on boats. And so I'm like, all right, that's cool. So I tell these guys, guys and, like, other guys that were with us. I'm like, let's do it for Monday. It was like a Sunday. And, you know, like most men, I'm in a group text with my boys, so I hit these guys up. I'm like, hey, come to Chicago, like, tonight so that we could go on a boat tomorrow. If you guys get here early tonight, we'll go out to a club. And, you know, you go out there, meet girls, invite them out to the boat, because I don't want it to just be a bunch of dudes on the boat.

[Akash Singh]

You know what I mean?

[Ralph Barbosa]

It feels like a Hail Mary play almost just very last minute. Like, come, we meet some girls. Let's go on a boat. And everybody's like, yeah, let's go. Let's do it. Most. Most of the guys show up. Even the dude with the girlfriend who should not have showed up.

[Mark Gagnon]

But it's a boat, though.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But hold on. So this is how he almost sinks the boat. He shows up, they all show up, and the dude with the girlfriend ends up bringing his girlfriend.

[Akash Singh]

Oh.

[Ralph Barbosa]

So it's like, all right, fine. Yeah, it's like, cool, whatever. Like, at least you can have your date. You know what I mean? You know, the only thing I don't like about that is that this isn't a couple's thing.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

This is guys inviting random women on the boat thing.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Amateur horse.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

So it's like, if you're gonna bring a girl, you should have just stayed out.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Because here's what can happen. I'm not anti coupled. No. But here's what can happen. And it did happen. Couples argue on boats.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, this sounds awesome.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It's inevitable. Once again, once you get to a certain longitude, latitude, the argument just starts from you to triangle.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Right.

[Mark Gagnon]

You get out there, things start getting a little.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Little haywire. So anyway, my buddy invites this one. The the door chick at a club and Abraham takes a date out there. It's very nice person. She brings, like, her cousin, and it's like tick tockers and st. A door.

[Mark Gagnon]

Girl at a club is hilarious. Like a bouncer. Like, you got. You brought a bouncer. I like the idea of a door.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Woman, which I don't understand, like, what her job even was. She was just there names, I guess. I think she. I think she's just there to be like. Well, she didn't even get her name. She was just, like, going, going.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. It's just.

[Fahim Anwar]

She's just judging you. And she'd be like, yeah, they look good enough to get it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I think she just is in case people invite her on boats.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Or that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

She was nice with her. And we go out there, and there wasn't even, like, music playing. And the women just started shaking their asses, which was like.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like acapella.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Like just acapella. Twerking? Yeah, just.

[Mark Gagnon]

Just you just hear clapping in the.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Distance, which is why I'm like, bro, like, when women get over water, they just get, like, extra hoey. Sometimes. Not all women just hoes get extra.

[Andrew Schulz]

Hoes set their game up on the water.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's a big venue for them. Yeah, that's the show.

[Mark Gagnon]

Maritime law also. Yeah. I mean, like, like, you just get out into, like, these deep waters, and I just think it starts messing with.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Their cycles or something, maybe. Yeah, like the moon and the waves.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But even my photographs, Kiki, he's out there, my photographer, his brother, even, he was shaking his ass. That's when I was like, all right, bring the boat back.

[Akash Singh]

We gotta.

[Ralph Barbosa]

The waves were affected too much, but it was fun.

[Mark Gagnon]

Did music get put on?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, no, we did put music on immediately. Nah, we got out there, got settled in. The water was cold, man. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

You went on a lake. That's kind of funny to me that you got a yacht on a lake. Like, I, I.

[Andrew Schulz]

The Chicago lake is beautiful, but I'm sure it's beautiful.

[Fahim Anwar]

They got a yacht on there.

[Mark Gagnon]

I just assumed this story was a place in the ocean.

[Andrew Schulz]

He might be being liberal. Yacht.

[Akash Singh]

You know what I mean?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I would say, yeah, bro. It was big.

[Akash Singh]

Big.

[Ralph Barbosa]

This biggest yacht you've ever seen.

[Andrew Schulz]

How many. How many of these women? These G league. How many of them were on this boat? Double digits.

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, no, no, no. It was like six, tops.

[Mark Gagnon]

And what was the ratio?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Because it was about even, right? It's like six dudes.

[Akash Singh]

Okay.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Six women.

[Mark Gagnon]

This is just a you know, basketball game 6v6.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Five on five with the subs, you know, it's crazy. Like, Chicago is nuts, bro. I think Chicago is top three greatest nightlife cities, really, in the States.

[Andrew Schulz]

Chicago, if it wasn't for the weather, would be. And it's a massive thing, but it'd be the best city maybe in the world, bro.

[Ralph Barbosa]

All right.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, it's incredible.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's not better in New York, but.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Well, like, New York is cool, but I have. I guess I haven't experienced enough nightlife in New York. I need to experience more nightlife in New York because I like that the bars stay open until like, 4am that's cool. Chicago, you can find some of that too. But Chicago, I feel like, is also. I don't know. I guess because it's not as big as New York, it's easy to, like, run into different people, which I think is pretty cool. Like, you get to know people and stuff.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You build.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But Miami, school too.

[Fahim Anwar]

Talent out here. We have, like, professional whores, but they still act like hoes.

[Andrew Schulz]

So it's a good place to be women. New York women. I'm unbelievable. Probably better than Chicago women. Like, I can't imagine Chicago.

[Fahim Anwar]

You have some fun out here.

[Andrew Schulz]

Not to say you in particular, based on the stories I hear about you. You. I don't know if you can move out here. I know you were thinking about moving out here. Is that still a thought?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah. I stayed out here for, like, two.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

And I remember I saw you, like, a month in, and you're like, yo, I think this might be. This might be it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah. But now I went home. I couldn't do it. I got a son, you know?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

And then.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And I. I couldn't work it out the. The schedule the way I liked it.

[Andrew Schulz]

Did you just drown in over here?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't. I don't know what they're talking about.

[Mark Gagnon]

Well, that's what I'm curious. You say you like Chicago for the nightlife, but I don't see you as, like, a big partier. Like, correct me if I'm wrong.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Well, it just depends where I'm at.

[Andrew Schulz]

Would you like anything now? We have alcohol.

[Akash Singh]

We have.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't know.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Let's get drunk. You guys want to get drunk? Get drunk before your flight. What do you like to drink?

[Akash Singh]

Drink? Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

We can get you some.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You want. I don't drink, but these are old. Are these real?

[Andrew Schulz]

What do we have for him to drink?

[Damian Lemon]

Damn near everything.

[Andrew Schulz]

Damn near everything.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Whiskey, tequila, rum, what about beer? Good old fashioned beer.

[Andrew Schulz]

We get you good old fashioned beer.

[Mark Gagnon]

If we don't have it Modelo. Not for any reason.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Hot beer. Watch this.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Are you gonna have a drink with me too?

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't drink.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You don't drink?

[Mark Gagnon]

I don't drink.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't want to drink then.

[Andrew Schulz]

No. They'll drink.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You guys gonna drink?

[Andrew Schulz]

No. That's awesome. When he gets drunk on the.

[Mark Gagnon]

It will get racist. It will get insane.

[Andrew Schulz]

He's half Puerto Rican.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You're half Puerto Rican.

[Akash Singh]

I am.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Why don't you talk more, bro?

[Fahim Anwar]

I'm trying to understand your accent.

[Mark Gagnon]

It's very un Puerto Rican of him, isn't it? Like, he's very stoic.

[Fahim Anwar]

You know, you get on his pod, you become white.

[Andrew Schulz]

Shoot. He's telling you shoot or shoot.

[Mark Gagnon]

What is the Mexican perception of Puerto Ricans? Is there a internal perception or we're better people?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I, I, I don't know. I've never asked other Mexicans. In my mind, I'm always just like, bro, Puerto Ricans are always making music that we dance to so much. Puerto Rican is very talented with music and.

[Akash Singh]

Right.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But then sometimes I kind of am jealous that you guys are, like, technically American territory.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

So it's just like, damn, they make good music. And then I'm mad because Bad Bunny got that part in Happy Gilmore 2. It made me, like, not.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, he was good.

[Ralph Barbosa]

He was.

[Andrew Schulz]

He was good.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I wasn't gonna do better than that. I auditioned for that part.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, did you really?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But I watched him. I was like, he did it better.

[Akash Singh]

Yo, yo.

[Andrew Schulz]

You wanted to be an actor first, right?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

And now you're blowing up as a comedian. I feel like you could just be you in movies and tv. Is that a thing?

[Ralph Barbosa]

That's what I tell the casting directors.

[Mark Gagnon]

They don't seem to see it, bro.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I did a commercial for Verizon in Spanish. Oh, and can we pull that up?

[Andrew Schulz]

Is that online? Miles will look for it. Our Jamie will look for it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

They made me change the way I speak Spanish because apparently the way I speak Spanish is like a country Spanish. It's like, I guess instead of being southern in Mexico, it's. It's considered a northern accent.

[Mark Gagnon]

Is that more rural?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And I was gonna get away with it, though. It was like one day of filming, super easy, and it's like voiceover. It's like the. So at the end of filming, they just had me, like, record the lines into a mic, and I was just like, hell, yeah. Like, easy money.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You know, this is dope. And then there was, like, different types of Latinos. There's like, Puerto Ricans and, like, Argentinians. And, like, they were all like, okay, yeah, everything's going good. But the lady who's, like the costume designer who ended up. Ended up becoming like my buddy, she was Mexican. And she was like, hey, this dude talks, like, country Spanish.

[Mark Gagnon]

Damn, she sold you out.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, so she was like, you know, like. And I think somebody else, too. They were just like, hey, I don't know. It talks kind of country. Like, so then I.

[Andrew Schulz]

But your accent is good or. No, like, my accent, when I speak Hindi, it's clear I'm not from India.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I think you can. You can tell I'm not from Mexico for sure. Like, okay. But I think also it stands out that, like, my family's from, like, north Mexico.

[Akash Singh]

Okay.

[Ralph Barbosa]

So, yeah, I had to go and record. I had to talk to. What do you call it? Like, a chick who knows how to.

[Fahim Anwar]

Linguistic.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Linguistic type? Yeah, something like that.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And she was like, oh, yeah, you talk like my dad. No, that's not it. I mean, I had to do that too. But that's not the commercial now.

[Akash Singh]

Damn.

[Andrew Schulz]

You're not speaking Spanish in that one.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Commercial is not there. It's just gone now.

[Fahim Anwar]

But you're speaking Spanish in that video though, right?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, we are speaking Spanish in that video. I was like, I had to do that too, for the thing.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, I can tell.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, that's like deep.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's like farmers.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, yeah, you can tell.

[Akash Singh]

You can hear for real.

[Mark Gagnon]

You can hear the way he says it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Your phone I got from Verizon takes real nice pictures. Why are you making me watch this?

[Andrew Schulz]

Painful. We've all done some. Dude, don't even worry about it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I do it again.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, you got paid for yours.

[Andrew Schulz]

I've done that. I didn't get paid for that. I hope would get me a paid gig.

[Akash Singh]

You were doing.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You were doing a lot of acting.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, I was doing whatever. Back before we had YouTube and you could just put clips on. You didn't know what you were doing. So if somebody's like, hey, do you want to do this web series? It could be a thing I did that. I was like, this is trash.

[Fahim Anwar]

We're doing, like, background dancing in Bollywood, right?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Like, I wish that would be fire.

[Andrew Schulz]

I would. That would be fire every day. No, but yeah, you just. You didn't know. And then, like, you're. You're.

[Mark Gagnon]

Is.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yours is like the quintessential modern blow up in stand up where you're doing comedy. How long are you doing comedy before you're. Don't tell.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Six months.

[Andrew Schulz]

First set.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It's like six, almost seven years.

[Andrew Schulz]

And then you do this. Don't tell that. As far as I know, that's when I saw you. That blew up. And then boom, boom, boom.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Which I think was still for like comedy was still pretty early.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, very.

[Akash Singh]

Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't think I was ready to headline. People were coming to see my shows and I'm just like, they doing now.

[Andrew Schulz]

My brother saw you. He went to go see us. Yeah, yeah. He's the one Indian guy you show now. I feel like Indians with you.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I think so too.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Especially like when I go to random ass cities like in the south or the Midwest.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

A lot of Indians coming out.

[Andrew Schulz]

Especially like a. Like a pothead Indian.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, no.

[Akash Singh]

Hell yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

They would love you.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You know Usama.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, bro.

[Ralph Barbosa]

He's funny.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. So Usama and my brother are actually friends, weirdly. And then my. Because before I think I introduced someone, I don't know, Usama met me or whatever. They went to school together.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I know.

[Andrew Schulz]

So my brother watched Usama and then watched you come through and he was like, he's very funny. But now get to your racist story. I know this is racist, but I hope it is.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Every time I meet somebody Indian, they know Osama.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I was at. I was at the airport. Yes. Yesterday. The day before yesterday, I flew into Austin.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And this dude was like, bro, I've seen you on stage before. He's like, I actually know Usama. And I went to watch him and then I saw you.

[Andrew Schulz]

I know.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Every Indian fan I have is thanks to Osama.

[Andrew Schulz]

Well, now you can have a couple more.

[Akash Singh]

Hell yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Thanks, Usama.

[Mark Gagnon]

See, this is where it comes from. Anytime you meet someone, it's like, oh, do you know this person? And just because you guys are the same race, you assume they know.

[Andrew Schulz]

But a lot of times. A lot of times they'd be right.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's the problem. You know what I mean? And even if you don't know that Usama, you know another one.

[Unknown]

All right, guys, take a break for a second. Today's sponsors Kraken your go to for everything investing across crypto and stocks. We've been using Kraken since last year because it's simple, secure, and fast. When crypto's moving, you want a platform that keeps up. Kraken's been in the game longer than most coins are even out there. 11000 US stocks and ETFs and over 350 different cryptocurrenc you can choose to invest in. So Kraken hooked us up each with 10,000 in USDG. Okay. And now we get to build our own investment portfolios across thousands of crypto and stocks that they have on the platform. How are we doing?

[Andrew Schulz]

Investment portfolio is interesting. It's not just crypto, which is cool. Mark, you know, he researches things we don't. I just put in bitcoin.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

This guy's an ETF's, which I thought was very interesting. I didn't even know that was an option even though I read the copy every week.

[Mark Gagnon]

There's stocks, there's crypto, then there's ETFs.

[Andrew Schulz]

There's the whole ETF. Exactly.

[Mark Gagnon]

It's an exchange traded fund.

[Andrew Schulz]

Ah, now I get it.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And what does that mean?

[Mark Gagnon]

So basically like this is the way it was explained to me. I remember I interned in like a wealth management group back in the day. These ETFs were like managed by wealth managers and you could only really get in if you had like a wealth manager. Really wealthy people could do it and then kept and. But now they're available on exchange and so a bunch of other people can do it. I know this sounds like I'm shilling for it. This might blow up in my face. I don't. This is not investment.

[Unknown]

Well, you didn't shill to us before you invested in it.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, that's true. I didn't want to risk you guys making 7% yield on your. But basically it's like a. It's like, like different ETFs offer different things and they'll bundle different stocks plus different like calls on different commodities.

[Andrew Schulz]

And I'm already overwhelmed by bitcoin, but it's already done.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's the beauty of it. There's already a smart guy that put it all together.

[Andrew Schulz]

A lot of words, Bitcoin.

[Unknown]

How do we know it's a smart guy?

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm in?

[Mark Gagnon]

Because it's with a bank that you hope has a smart guy in there. You know, so if you do like a J.P. morgan, smart guys, that's what.

[Andrew Schulz]

We'Re calling them now.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, I know.

[Mark Gagnon]

Smart guys, you know they keep readers. Right?

[Andrew Schulz]

I like to.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, there's a bunch of different ones. You can also just put in like S and P etf.

[Andrew Schulz]

Either way, whatever you do, Kraken has a special offer going on for all the flagrant fam you sign up for the Kraken mobile app. @kraken.com flagrant and use code FLAGRANT25, and you'll get free bitcoin. That bitcoin could be worth billions of dollars one day. Also, disclaimer. Whatever Mark said. Not investment advice. Whatever I said, I'd be losing a lot of money. Crypto trading involves risks of loss and is offered to US Customers. This is excluding Washington, New York, and Maine. Nice.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Thank goodness.

[Damian Lemon]

In Montana or something.

[Andrew Schulz]

Let's get back to the show. Look at that.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, look at that, Mark.

[Andrew Schulz]

Shotgun one of those. Or do whatever the white thing's like.

[Mark Gagnon]

That is fire. Have Mexicans figured out a shotgun yet?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Have Mexicans figured out a shotgun? Yeah, I have seen Mexicans shotgun pretty fast. I can't shotgun fast, but. Really? Yeah, but I've seen them do it at my house.

[Mark Gagnon]

What about beer bong? You guys ever do those?

[Andrew Schulz]

Y' all do drinking game? I always associate drinking games as more of a white thing, but I could. I could see Mexicans getting in on.

[Akash Singh]

On it. Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

I love, like, old white things, like 70s rock, but they don't need a.

[Fahim Anwar]

Game to drink beer.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I just. They don't need, like, two, three questions. Beer bong.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Like a bong for beer.

[Mark Gagnon]

This is what you think, but it's not exactly that. It's literally just like a tube that you pour now.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I've never done that.

[Mark Gagnon]

Really? Yeah, yeah, this is. Yeah, this is like peak white Boy.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Look at neon colors.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

It has to be neon. And now they got them where, like, there's all sorts of contraptions. You fill it up, you pull the plug, it all goes down, down.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I feel I got to do that before I turn 30.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

27. 28.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'm 28.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's a good element of white culture, I think, that we did pretty good at.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

The drinking games, I think was a good contribution.

[Akash Singh]

This.

[Ralph Barbosa]

This beer will take down my nerves.

[Andrew Schulz]

Chug that. Guys, let's just get.

[Akash Singh]

What are you doing?

[Mark Gagnon]

What are you doing?

[Andrew Schulz]

What the is this guy?

[Mark Gagnon]

I want to chug a beer. It's two in the morning, whatever time it is.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, my God, it's 12:30.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Why is it that the sober guys like you guys gotta ch these, by the way, right?

[Mark Gagnon]

He wants you to get married, and he wants you to choke beer. It's like he. This is a lot of projection. This is my point.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm already married. What do you mean? I want him to chug.

[Mark Gagnon]

Just saying. It's like, I feel like you're trying.

[Andrew Schulz]

If There was, like, shrooms of weed. I'd do it if you got that. I'll do it. I just forgot mine. I didn't think we'd be doing this, because I've been trying to get this guy to a shroom pot forever. He won't do it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Bring this guy an ounce of shrooms.

[Andrew Schulz]

I would do an ounce of shrooms, no question.

[Mark Gagnon]

No, you would die. You would pass away an ounce.

[Andrew Schulz]

An ounce is not that much.

[Akash Singh]

Much.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, I was thinking a gram. No, I did an eighth one time.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You sound like you've never done shroom before. I eat an ounce for breakfast.

[Andrew Schulz]

I did an eighth one time. That was crazy.

[Fahim Anwar]

Cheers. This being a bit.

[Mark Gagnon]

I'm gonna sip. I just don't want to chug.

[Andrew Schulz]

Sip, you homo. Dude, just drink the beer.

[Mark Gagnon]

I'm not chugging. I'm not gonna shotgun a beer.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, which is insane.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Have you figured it out yet?

[Akash Singh]

I mean, mean.

[Mark Gagnon]

All right, now you're doing to do that.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It's cool. I missed you guys.

[Mark Gagnon]

Hey, Dud.

[Andrew Schulz]

I know. We missed you.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Dallas, Texas, born and raised superstar. You from.

[Fahim Anwar]

Why are you guys lying to each other right now?

[Ralph Barbosa]

What?

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm from Dallas.

[Ralph Barbosa]

We have to lie, bro.

[Akash Singh]

And you didn't miss it. I did.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I miss those eyes, bro.

[Andrew Schulz]

I miss his eyes.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Every podcast I've done one sip of.

[Damian Lemon]

Beer and starts just ruining the pot.

[Andrew Schulz]

I actually.

[Ralph Barbosa]

L. Bro, you said enough.

[Damian Lemon]

Back to quiet time.

[Andrew Schulz]

Nah, I missed this guy.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Every podcast I've been on since this one, I'm just comparing their eyes to your eyes.

[Andrew Schulz]

Nothing. Nothing measures up.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Right?

[Andrew Schulz]

I know, dude. I know. I get it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

What's your wife's name? I'm jealous that she gets to look into those eyes every morning.

[Andrew Schulz]

Just lean.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Just a lean. Yeah, dude, that's a pretty name.

[Andrew Schulz]

Hey, thanks, dude. What's your future wife's name?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't know. It's probably gonna end up being.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's crazy. I share information and you don't share it.

[Akash Singh]

Back. Back.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's up. Yo, I thought we. We're bonding just now.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I mean, we are, but you got to give me time, baby.

[Mark Gagnon]

He needs three more Mandelas.

[Andrew Schulz]

Hand in the pod. I need this girl's name. We can bleep it if you want.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Can we just say her name is Bleep and then just bleep that?

[Akash Singh]

That's funny. I like that. I like that, dude.

[Andrew Schulz]

I hate it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That's fire.

[Andrew Schulz]

All right, let's keep May.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Maybe the end of this beer or.

[Akash Singh]

I don't know.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I like. I Like the situation I'm in.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I mean, cuz, like, we get along, me and this girl.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And I don't know if it'll ever happen, but I like that I at least got to, like, talk to her for a while. You have one of those.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's romantic. Isn't that true?

[Ralph Barbosa]

That feels like romantic. That's true love.

[Andrew Schulz]

So has anything physical happened at all?

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, no, nothing physical.

[Andrew Schulz]

Well, you got a little tell when you love lie.

[Ralph Barbosa]

What do you mean?

[Andrew Schulz]

You wipe your nose when you lie.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah, I just. I just. I'm a cokehead. I'm not, by the way. I don't. I gotta be careful. I don't know when to joke or not joke because then people in the comments will be like, you know, he's not playing about that. Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

You were saying that on. I was listening to your club Shay, and you were saying you get a little bit of, like, comments about, like, you're the Mexican people being upset that you're xyz. And to me from the odds for Macroscopic, it feels like it's so much love for you, which is good.

[Akash Singh]

Great.

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, there's a lot of love.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I've been trying not to read them in general, cuz like, good ones and bad. Good comments and bad comments or I feel like are bad for you.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, neither one of them is. The truth is.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Not a real why.

[Fahim Anwar]

How is the good comments bet?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Cuz if you start to believe them too much, I feel like you can up your own, like, what do you call it? Like, your perception of yourself and like, your work.

[Mark Gagnon]

I think additionally, I think if you believe the good comments, you kind of have to believe the bad.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's the thing you like. Y' all don't. Y' all don't tell me good or bad.

[Akash Singh]

Bad.

[Andrew Schulz]

If I'm good, that's what I. Ideally, I try not to even look. Because you will. When you get a. A good one. You want to keep reading and then you see one bad one, you're like, maybe the next one will be good. And if it's also bad, you're. You know, I mean, you start spiraling. But, like, ideally, y' all don't decide whether I'm good or bad. That's not up to you. I decide that I keep going. I keep doing my thing. I keep doing what I want to do.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't feel like I decided. For me, though, I feel like it's just up to the audience. That night that I perform in front of, I care about their.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, I know I used to freak the out whenever they didn't, like, laugh. Any joke. I would start talking faster. I would, whatever. And I realized this because I didn't think I was good enough or funny enough. So if they didn't laugh, I would be like, ah, they're finding out I'm a phony. And then I would. But then that makes you. You got a great comfort on stage. I didn't have that for a long time.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, I, I, I feel like I got comfortable once I started headlining because I was so uncomfortable still. But, like, I was featuring you.

[Andrew Schulz]

Don't tell. You're what? Let's say you're filming that. How was the taping of that?

[Ralph Barbosa]

That was laid back. They really relaxed us right before.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay. Because you see him. Super. I remember being like, no, I know you get those.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's why it's called don't tell.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He gets those on his own. They.

[Ralph Barbosa]

They really made us feel.

[Andrew Schulz]

Now just know that if you marry this girl, those don't really happen.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I got you.

[Akash Singh]

Okay.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You got to get engaged, but not married.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, that's the move.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Sweet.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's what he is.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That's what you're doing.

[Fahim Anwar]

I like, been engaged, raised about two years now.

[Andrew Schulz]

His girl is from Spain.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah. How you meet her in Spain?

[Fahim Anwar]

She moved here for work.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, nice.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

What does she do? If you don't mind me.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yes, she did.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't know how I feel about that.

[Andrew Schulz]

You're doing the work, dude.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

You see, you need to record a podcast. This is the guy. If you're doing your own podcast, there's a Roth Barbosa podcast. That's your man's.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I had a. I was on a podcast. I was co hosting the Fatfish podcast with my friend Heidi.

[Akash Singh]

Jaime.

[Mark Gagnon]

But I love him.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'm his dope. He's like, my funniest. I think he's the funniest dude ever, but I grew up with him, so my very biased opinion, you know?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But yeah, we started a podcast together, but I stopped showing up to record because it's a lot. Doing a podcast is a lot. I didn't know how much of a commitment it is. I have commitment issues.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

So, yeah, evidently.

[Andrew Schulz]

Also, I'm going tell this girl.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Jaime goes to LA every week, week to tape for Tiger Belly. He's Bobby Lee's co host, so while he's out there, he can reach out to more potential guests.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And record while he's out there.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

So I was like, you should Just record Fat Fish out there with like, other people because we're taping out of Dallas, so it was kind of hard to like, catch people while they were in town, especially on tour. So.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Ups to you guys for like, running a podcast.

[Andrew Schulz]

Thanks, dude.

[Mark Gagnon]

I may get hooked up with Bob Bobby.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I took him with me when I did Bobby's podcast. Cuz me and Jaime were always Bobby Lee fans, but Jaime was definitely a bigger Bobby Lee fan than I was. But we just.

[Andrew Schulz]

Bobby's so funny. He's such a terrible person, but he's like, truly the biggest piece of. I know, but he's so funny. I hate him, but he's so funny.

[Ralph Barbosa]

My first time going to the Comedy Store, I walked into the main room just to peek. I forgot who I was waiting for. I was going to do like a. A spot in the. The Belly room. I think it was for like Netflix as a jokes, like New Faces audition thing. And I went downstairs and I just peeked in a random door and it was for the main room and Bobby was on stage. And as soon as I peeked in the room, I thought he almost. I thought he pointed at me, but he pointed at somebody and he was like, you. He's like, because of something. Something. He's like, now you get the pubes. And he's like. Just pulled his pants down.

[Andrew Schulz]

He tried to show me his dick the whole podcast. I wouldn't. I didn't see it. I dodged it. And then I texted him because the guy had just sobered up. I said, hey, man, I'll check in on him every week. Hey, man, I hope you're doing okay. Just want to let you know I love you.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Blah, blah, blah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Man would send me his dick. First time I checked in, I couldn't believe it.

[Akash Singh]

That.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And that's hilarious. I was Asian.

[Andrew Schulz]

Figure out what the rest of it means.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

But anyway, so you. Okay. So you. Oh, yeah. I want to ask you. You're doing a don't tell. They relaxed you beforehand?

[Akash Singh]

Oh, yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

They told us. They were like, hey, hey, go out there, do whatever you want. It's your 10 minutes. If you want to do new material the whole time, do new material. Yeah, if you only like a few minutes of it and you hate, like eight minutes of it, we'll just upload what you like. Like, just go out there, have a good time.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

So I wrote a bunch of jokes on the bus ride over there, and I was just like, it. I'm going. Just do those jokes.

[Andrew Schulz]

Bus ride from where to where from?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I took A Greyhound from LA to San Diego.

[Akash Singh]

Legal.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, okay. So those are all new jokes. You've never done those?

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, no, I did, like, maybe 60 new jokes. Wow.

[Andrew Schulz]

And which of the jokes that blew up, which ones were new?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Like, the first 6ish minutes. Wow.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But I was kind of. I was kind of like. Like, obviously I'm happy that it worked out. You know what I mean? But I was also mad because I, like, touched the jokes up.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, they get better.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Every joke.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Right? Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

So. So I, like, I had like, a good month and a half, the better version of those jokes. And, like, I remember I got an applause break in Austin and I was just like, bittersweet moment because I was.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like, yeah, this is it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Like, this is the last.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's ready and you can't do it anymore. But then what are you thinking as it's blowing up? We probably asked you this, but, like, I'm always curious, a thought process of people who blow up quickly. What does that feel like as it's all happening?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Feels cool. Money is cool.

[Akash Singh]

That's awesome. Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

How does it feel for you?

[Andrew Schulz]

It didn't happen quickly for me. That's why I'm curious. It was a long road. So, like, flagrant happened When I was doing comedy for, like 10 years at that point or whatever started. We didn't make any money the first year. I'm going broke. Then we started Patreon. I'm like, okay, I'm making a living. Then Covid things start picking up. Then my standup really just started picking up in the last, like, two years in terms of people seeing it, which is cool, because I get. I felt like I get to grow for that time, kind of like without people knowing.

[Mark Gagnon]

Here in Akash is like in the mud. Stories are some of the most. The most harrowing things you'll ever hear in your life. I mean, they're harass.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah. Would you.

[Akash Singh]

You have to do.

[Mark Gagnon]

Bro.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, dude. If this podcast. If I was a guest on the podcast that you didn't have the commitment for, I would tell you all the.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Stories on Fat Fish. You want to come on Fat Fish?

[Andrew Schulz]

I would come back on Fat Fish.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yes, absolutely.

[Andrew Schulz]

Next time I'm in la, you, me, Jaime, beat the out of Bobby Lee, and then we go do Fat Fish.

[Mark Gagnon]

You and Bob just need a fight.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Just.

[Mark Gagnon]

We need to do a pay per view.

[Ralph Barbosa]

We just need to do.

[Mark Gagnon]

Or. Or either one. Either one.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I can't betray Bobby. So I won't condone. No, I'll condone on it. You Should. You should fight him and him n.

[Andrew Schulz]

He wrestled in high school. I'm worried. I think I need help.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You think he can still wrestle now? I don't know the guy. Yeah, I know he looks young. The guy's like 80.

[Andrew Schulz]

Bobby Lee's as angry as everybody thinks I am. Everybody thinks I'm really.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You do have, like, resting face. Like, you look like you just got done complaining at a restaurant.

[Mark Gagnon]

He loves complaining at restaurants.

[Andrew Schulz]

You bought a.

[Mark Gagnon]

Got you nailed that.

[Andrew Schulz]

I do, too. You know what? I love complaining after I leave the restaurant, but I'm trying not to cause a kerfuffle in there too often. I've done it once, twice, maybe.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You said kerfuffle?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You go off at restaurants?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'd be kerfuffling every once in a while.

[Ralph Barbosa]

What do you kind of food you like?

[Andrew Schulz]

You know what I've realized I don't like? We come from Texas. Everybody's good manners. If you're rude, I don't handle it well.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't really like that either.

[Andrew Schulz]

That should be setting me off.

[Akash Singh]

Off.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yo, one time. One time I went off on an old dude. I feel. I feel really bad. And I gave him a good tip, but he was being a piece of bro. Like, what was he doing? I hadn't eaten in, like, 24 hours.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's his fault.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Very much his fault. Yeah, we had been. We were in la and it was like. It was like the shows where Hulu was, like, watching to see if they'd want to give me money.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

A lot of pressure. So, like, in between shows, a lot of industry would, like, go and talk to you, which, I don't know. Like, I get nervous, so I ate a bunch of mushrooms and maybe.

[Andrew Schulz]

How much? Like an ounce?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah, two ounces.

[Akash Singh]

We.

[Ralph Barbosa]

We ate maybe like two, three grams.

[Akash Singh]

Okay.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And I was tripping some good. I'm not going to lie. I was tripping pretty hard. I stayed up, didn't sleep at all. The next morning, I did Big Boys Neighborhood. And then right after Big Boy's Neighborhood, because I don't live in la. And while I was in la, my agent, my manager, wanted to have, like, a meeting.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

We do this meeting. So it's like 3pm the next day. It was like 24 hours since my last meal. Yeah, Starving. I got a headache. Hungover, Right. And I go sit down at this restaurant. And they sat me like. I didn't. I didn't just sit down at a random table. They sat me there, sit down and I know what I want. I want the albon digas meatballs and like a little soup, like a little stew.

[Akash Singh]

Right?

[Andrew Schulz]

Last syllables.

[Akash Singh]

Rough, but go ahead.

[Ralph Barbosa]

So I sit down and the waiter comes and I tell him in Spanish, I said, I want a Diet Coke and some Alondas, please. And he says, I don't know how big of a party you have coming here, but I need this table by five o'.

[Akash Singh]

Clock.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And so I'm like, all right, all right, maybe I'm, I'm, I'm up.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm already ready. I'm ready. I'm getting ready. So I take, I take a second.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Though, because I'm like, oh, maybe I'm an. For sitting here. Maybe there was like a mistake that they sat me here. What time is it? Is it almost 5? You know, so I checked my phone. It's 3:44. I will never forget the time because I. Because as soon as I saw the time, I'm like this piece of. Yeah, So I, I never yelled at a waiter or anybody in customer service ever in my life. And I just yelled at him in Spanish. I told him, I don't give a. Who's coming here at five o'.

[Akash Singh]

Clock.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'm here now. The faster you give me the food, the faster I get the out. You know, Never done that before. And I, and I thought he was gonna punch me right after I was done saying it. I was like, ah, up. This dude's about to beat my ass. But now he just said, okay. And I'm assuming he went and spit in my soup.

[Akash Singh]

Absolutely right.

[Ralph Barbosa]

He definitely. But I was so hungry, I didn't even care anymore. I was like it.

[Mark Gagnon]

Do you think it's because he could tell you were kind of like from the farm country?

[Andrew Schulz]

You said it in a way that was like, rednecky.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, he probably did. He thinks I'm like some Mexican redneck.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, I had a whole 360 degrees conflict within 30 seconds at the Kansas City airport last Friday.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Kansas City.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm off the flight.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You're brave going off in.

[Andrew Schulz]

I just want to buy. Well, she was Latina. I just want to buy water.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

She ain't gonna be here that much longer anyway.

[Akash Singh]

Damn.

[Andrew Schulz]

But no, I just want to buy water. I go, it's, you know, sometimes like the, the food place has the water, little water on the side. So I grab bottle of water.

[Ralph Barbosa]

This Latina piece of.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm talking to my friend loudly. We're just having a conversation. She got her back fully turned and she's on the TV screen. And I'm standing there, like, 10 seconds, and I go, yo, can I get a water? And then she turns around, doesn't say a word, Rings up the water, and then doesn't say, thank you. Doesn't say, okay. And then I go, just, hi. That's all you got to do. Just say hi. And then I start walking off, and she goes, I'm sorry, My English isn't too good. She tried to guilt me this morning. And I go, sounded pretty good there. And then she just goes, yeah, you're right. So we had a full. We became. We didn't know each other then we became enemies, and then we were kind of homies by the end of it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't know. I don't think you guys ended up homies.

[Andrew Schulz]

She said, yeah, you're right. I was like, oh, yeah, she knows you got me.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, she. Good for her.

[Ralph Barbosa]

At least she, like, acknowledged this.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, just say hi. Hello. That's.

[Akash Singh]

That's it.

[Andrew Schulz]

What's so wrong with that?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I guess so. Why do you need the high, though?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, because we grew up in the south. The same re. That guy didn't say anything that crazy to you?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't know if you.

[Andrew Schulz]

If he had said, hey, man, this is a lack of manners. If he had been like, hey, man, just so you know, I got a big party coming at 5. You think you'd be out by then? Be fine, right?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, if he would have told me more polite manners. The thing is, it was Mexican on Mexican crime.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's what this was Mexican on look like. Mexican crime?

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, you don't look Mexican.

[Andrew Schulz]

Are you sure? You know, when I was. When I was younger, I was, like, lighter. I tanned up as I got older, and everybody thought I was Mexican in Texas, in Dallas. My middle. My middle school principal, I swear to you, saw me multiple times and would just go, hola, amigo.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I get that sometimes when people, like, Sometimes Mexicans think they're like, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

I can see that.

[Mark Gagnon]

Do you mind if I fact check this real quick?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Because I recently saw an image of you.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's me at 18, yo.

[Mark Gagnon]

Do you think this is, like, a little no sabo here?

[Ralph Barbosa]

You look Puerto Rican, bro.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, I told you, yo.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, they don't know the difference.

[Andrew Schulz]

White folks.

[Akash Singh]

Keep that.

[Mark Gagnon]

Bring that back immediately. This is unbelievable, son.

[Andrew Schulz]

I get. I. I'm uglier. This is me and less ugly than.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I was my next sa.

[Mark Gagnon]

Right there.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Look at.

[Akash Singh]

Huh?

[Andrew Schulz]

I was 18. Have you seen my middle school pictures post?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Is it.

[Andrew Schulz]

Can you Send that to me.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Doing like, the diddy lips.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like the son.

[Ralph Barbosa]

This is a.

[Andrew Schulz]

This is. We were just laughing at this.

[Fahim Anwar]

Mouth breathing in you.

[Andrew Schulz]

We were just laughing at. At this. My. My best friend and I will laugh at this all the time. What I used to look like. And my brother used to tell me I looked. I looked gay when I smiled or something. So I wouldn't smile. And then I just look.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, it just looks a little bit like. Like shark tales. You ever see that?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Ah, you look good, bro. How you have an afro, though.

[Fahim Anwar]

Like, your hair changed.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yo, black people used to love my hair, dude. They'd always be like, let me braid that.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But your.

[Mark Gagnon]

Is it not shark tails?

[Andrew Schulz]

How about that? How about that guy?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, that guy rough.

[Andrew Schulz]

That guy sex miles. I'm going to text you this. I think you guys have seen this picture. You had to have some. My sixth grade yearo picture. I swear to God, I look like I could potentially be. Have like, you know, some kind of developmental thing, but I looked fully picture. No, no. Like, I look like I could be sixth grade fully. This is. It's wor. Gets worse than this. This is eighth grade.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I think that's a picture that. That's a. That's a picture that's so bad. Your parents.

[Andrew Schulz]

I look like, hey, you guys from Google.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I never saw him looking at this picture.

[Mark Gagnon]

Do you get your dad's point a little?

[Ralph Barbosa]

If I was your dad, I would.

[Andrew Schulz]

Hit you for that picture. My dad never hit me. That's probably why I look like that. I didn't get hit. My brother got hit.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You needed to get hit after that one.

[Andrew Schulz]

Hey, you guys.

[Mark Gagnon]

Bro. God damn the head tilt.

[Fahim Anwar]

You leveled up, bro.

[Mark Gagnon]

So did you think you smiled gay even at this age?

[Andrew Schulz]

I knew it looked bad, but I didn't know how to. I didn't know I could just smile. My brother kept me so in my head about it.

[Akash Singh]

About it.

[Mark Gagnon]

That is an awful thing to put in someone's head. It's hey, hey, your smile. Like when you're, like, being agreeable and charming. Everyone hates that.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, but he said gay. And back then that was like.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That's like the worst. Like, Nazi.

[Mark Gagnon]

You smile like a Nazi, bro.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Think about someone telling a kid that he's not gonna smile.

[Mark Gagnon]

I mean, nowadays, maybe, you know, I.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Mean, what year were you in the sixth grade grade?

[Andrew Schulz]

Sixth grade is worse. That was. I can't find that picture. This is eighth grade. I was 14.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You were 14?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

What year is that?

[Andrew Schulz]

1998. I'm born 84 oh.

[Akash Singh]

Oh.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I thought maybe we'd run into each other somewhere along the way.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, Never. You're too young, dude.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, I was like two. Unless you were into weird. I don't know.

[Mark Gagnon]

So you've been Mexican, black, and Indian. Which one is your favorite? Of all the races that you've been.

[Andrew Schulz]

I like Indian, but that's because I have the most money as an Indian. It actually really tracks us economically. Like, when I looked black, I was baruch. I had nothing.

[Mark Gagnon]

But you were flexing a little bit. And then when you were Mexican, you were just, you know, you were just here. Happy to be here.

[Andrew Schulz]

Happy to be here, dude.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Happy to be here.

[Andrew Schulz]

Ready to eat in the backyard somewhere. Go have a party.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Food tastes better in backyards. It's been scientifically proven.

[Andrew Schulz]

I believe that. Well, you know, Indians say food tastes better with your hands. Because we eat with our hands.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

They say scientific on plastic.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It doesn't contaminate the food.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's what I'm saying. White folks, y' all are worried about plastic.

[Mark Gagnon]

Knees together, paper plate. That's the best meal. That slaps when you're just eating right back.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Try not to drop it.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, that's the ideal meal.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Enjoy it most.

[Mark Gagnon]

And now, bro, you're going to the Hamptons. You're going to be fully white.

[Andrew Schulz]

I've. I've done it all.

[Mark Gagnon]

You're really going through the whole thing.

[Ralph Barbosa]

If you go to the Hamptons, do you think people assume you're in the medical field? Like, if they don't know.

[Andrew Schulz]

You know what my favorite thing about the Hamptons? Nobody talks about elks to me. It's been great. I really love that.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I want to go to the Hamptons.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's fire. I didn't think I'd like it. I didn't do all the.

[Akash Singh]

That.

[Andrew Schulz]

I didn't go. I just liked being a West Hampton. Like, they go out. Well, you guys did more than I did, probably. You got. Been there a couple times. They go out, they party, they do whatever. They're on yachts. I didn't get a no boat.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You've never been on a boat?

[Andrew Schulz]

I've been on a boat.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

I didn't love it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Little boat, big boat.

[Fahim Anwar]

He don't really like hoes, so.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'm not hose.

[Andrew Schulz]

Nah. I'm a one ho human.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Why you do that to your wife?

[Andrew Schulz]

Hey, I love that more than anything on her.

[Akash Singh]

She knows.

[Andrew Schulz]

She knows what it is.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I respect that.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, I'm. I'm like, very. I'm very in love. So I get away with a little like, saying and whatever the.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That's cool. That means your wife has a lot of trust in you too, if you get to say this stuff, you know.

[Andrew Schulz]

Because I'm so gay. I don't think so. She's like, she didn't even worry about me.

[Mark Gagnon]

You've also been gay. You've done all the races.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, I've done it all.

[Andrew Schulz]

Al's gay now.

[Akash Singh]

Now. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

A boat really is everything you hate. I'm thinking about it like, you like to be in your home.

[Andrew Schulz]

I love it.

[Mark Gagnon]

And a boat is the exact opposite. You're not even on the earth.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

And on top of that, you're stuck.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

And people are drinking and listening to loud music.

[Akash Singh]

Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And you don't like loud music, bro.

[Andrew Schulz]

I like it in small doses. I'm old, man.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Dude, you just put the like full blast for like 30 seconds.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, exactly.

[Andrew Schulz]

Now, I went on a boat actually, in Miami. Small boat. Small boat.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Small boat.

[Andrew Schulz]

But it was fun. It was just like me and a few homies. That's it. And then wifey. And that's it. And we did shrooms.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, nice.

[Akash Singh]

A gram.

[Andrew Schulz]

A gram is what I thought I did.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

That was fire.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

I guess I've always heard mushrooms with water is a good pairing.

[Akash Singh]

For real.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like mushrooms and like being at the beach, looking at the ocean.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

I've done that too, in Hawaii. That was sick.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

People have said that I got to try that. I haven't done mushrooms in a while. Cuz the last few trips where I did them, I started hearing voices. But I don't know if this was. Maybe I was just like exhausted. Like, I needed sleep already. It was like, take a break from that.

[Andrew Schulz]

I think. I think take a break.

[Mark Gagnon]

What kind of voices? It depends.

[Ralph Barbosa]

A couple times.

[Mark Gagnon]

Whispers, Asian accent.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Couple times yelling, yeah, Bobby Lee.

[Mark Gagnon]

I would keep doing mushrooms, bro. If I just had a full feed, which is Asian accent.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'd be like. One time I eat like a. Though, like, man, like, it had to be like eight grams maybe, baby. And I kept blacking out. And then I would hear voices so clear that I was like yelling at them. But it was just like me, like other versions of me. I feel like I was arguing with like three versions of myself.

[Andrew Schulz]

What were they saying?

[Akash Singh]

Whoa.

[Ralph Barbosa]

One of them was saying, like, call 91 1. And the other one was like, shut the up. Like, don't. Don't be a little. And then I was just like, like, I'm just on drugs. Like, I Just time. Time will save me. Like time.

[Mark Gagnon]

This feels like a very calm argument. If it's three versions of you. It's just you like yo.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But it was just like fast. It's like, call 91 1. It's like, no, no, no. Then I was like, time. And they're like, no, call 91 1. It's like. And then I would dial like 91 and then I would hang up the phone and be like, nah, don't do it. You ever done so many mushrooms that like your body goes paralyzed?

[Mark Gagnon]

Nope.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You know, I've had that like maybe three times where like I'm talking and then as I'm talking, I hear my voice turn into like slow motion motion. So it'll be like, oh, like, like it's like a record.

[Akash Singh]

Like, yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And I'm like, what the. And I was holding my phone and all of a sudden it just dropped it and I just like fell to the ground. And then a couple times when I happened.

[Fahim Anwar]

Wait, but after the first time that.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Happened, that didn't stop you from, hey.

[Fahim Anwar]

Let me not do that much again.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah, I was just laughing. But one, one time that it happened, like I did that and then I blacked out and then I woke up up. And then I ran around the hotel for a while and then I blacked out again.

[Akash Singh]

It was bad.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It was just a lot of bad.

[Akash Singh]

Damn.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That wasn't even my last time doing them. The next week I was like, I could get it right this time.

[Andrew Schulz]

The next week is crazy.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's the problem when you're into drugs but also competitive.

[Akash Singh]

You know what I mean?

[Mark Gagnon]

That's a bad combo.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Cuz you don't want to like, it's.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like an ego thing.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Like I don't want to just take the loss. I want to be like, n. I'm good on it.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's how you know you need more mushrooms to get the ego death. Cuz you're just getting enough mushrooms that your ego still.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's true.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You need to do 12 people say, say ego death. But I feel like mushrooms like did the opposite of what everybody says it does. Which I love, by the way. Maybe it was like a cure for me. But like, I feel like mushrooms got me out of my feelings.

[Mark Gagnon]

It got me stimulated. I was having a good time. You are a cokehead. I think that's what happened.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I feel like after mushrooms it's always been easier to like submerge all my feelings.

[Andrew Schulz]

To like just. Just shove them in a box.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Shove them in a fucking box. Mushrooms help me Locked that up.

[Mark Gagnon]

You think you're the type of dude come back from therapy and be like, bro, I am so much angrier.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I am, I am. I. I signed up for a therapy session one time and I got in the car and I was like, am I doing?

[Andrew Schulz]

And I just.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I just didn't even like, call to cancel or nothing. I just went back inside.

[Mark Gagnon]

Bro, this isn't a podcast. You can't just not show up. You know what I mean? This is a fat fish. You know, that's crazy.

[Akash Singh]

The.

[Ralph Barbosa]

The therapist lady that I. I ended up messaging her later to be like, hey, I'm sorry I didn't show up. And, you know, charge me whatever. You got charged me. And this is like a year ago. And she messaged me like three days ago. She's like, if you need help, I'm still here.

[Andrew Schulz]

She seen some podcasts.

[Mark Gagnon]

You heard about this boat? She was like, yeah, let's talk.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Here's the thing that I, that everybody says about therapy, though, is that it's not like this cure thing. It's more like a, like, kind of like medicine where like you kind of. You go and you let it out and then they talk to you and help you feel better. But it's not like this instant like, oh, you're good.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's like a dentist.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Like a dentist, right?

[Mark Gagnon]

You go get kind of tuned up, cleaned up.

[Andrew Schulz]

My cousin's psychiatrist, he said, you get out of it what you put into it. Like, you gotta. You can't just go and about everybody and then leave and not think about it. You gotta, like, think things through when you're outside of therapy and like, just really keep it on your mind and then you'll start to work through all.

[Mark Gagnon]

This and you need a good therapist. My therapist. I went one time. This was annoying. I sat down, he was like, by the way, I'm need this couch back by 5 o'.

[Akash Singh]

Clock.

[Mark Gagnon]

I was like, this.

[Akash Singh]

What the.

[Mark Gagnon]

I just, I sat down one minute ago.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I just feel like alcohol is good enough.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like, let's go.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And it's like therapy too, you know, you feel better for a little bit, and then next week you come back taco again, and you work it out.

[Fahim Anwar]

That's real Latino.

[Mark Gagnon]

I love Southerners, bro. This is fire.

[Andrew Schulz]

This immigrant. I went to therapy. My mom was like, don't tell anybody. She was like, you don't need it. You're not crazy.

[Mark Gagnon]

She was embarrassed you were around a fake doctor. That's what it was. It's like, I don't want you talking.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I Think it also has to do with, like, just childhood trauma. Like, crazy would happen as a kid, and then, like, my mom or, like, my grandma or whoever happened in front of my dad, where they'd just be like, hey, don't tell anybody. Like, yeah, that such and such hit you or nothing. And, like, just get over it.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'll be like, all right, yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

My mom wouldn't say get over it, but she would say they could use it against you. And I was like, what? We're not a soap opera here.

[Akash Singh]

I like that.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's not succession.

[Mark Gagnon]

Everything is just like a big 13 years old. Big drama.

[Akash Singh]

You know what I mean?

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, big drama.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Big drama.

[Akash Singh]

But.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, but you saw a lot of crazy when you were growing up, right, Your family in the cartel? We talked about that last time.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, I mean, I saw some crazy. It's just the. The. The that they would really not want me to talk about about was just like. Like, if my cousin kicked my ass, it'd be like, don't go telling everybody, all right? Because then they're gonna think we're dysfunctional. And I was like, we are getting my ass kicked over here.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like, Andrew caught an L. You don't want that on your record. You know what I mean? That you're owing three against your cousin.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah, I'll tell them. I'll tell everybody. I was a big old. I'll tell everybody.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, but you said on Shay that you were fighting people much bigger than you, and you can now you box. You, like, legit box, right?

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, I did that for a little bit, but no, I didn't.

[Akash Singh]

I didn't.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I didn't really, like, stick to it too often.

[Andrew Schulz]

But you said when you fought people your size, you them up.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, I got a lot of ass whoopings from bigger people, but it made me better. So, yeah, I fought a dude.

[Andrew Schulz]

He said they had a thing. The in between. Where'd you go? Mosquito High School or east?

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, no. So this was in middle school. This was advanced in middle school.

[Andrew Schulz]

Three minutes between classes. Him and his boys would have fight club for two minutes of the three. So two minutes, we then just run. You just punching the out of each other?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, I would just run into the restroom and then just be like, who you and you. All right, it.

[Akash Singh]

Let's go.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And they just fight one time.

[Andrew Schulz]

Somebody, a woman need to get back to class.

[Akash Singh]

We.

[Ralph Barbosa]

We try to do, like, hey, don't hit in the face, you know, but then you, like, slip up. One time, somebody brought a UFC gloves and. But they. They just had one pair. So, like, one person had, like, a hand. Each was nice, but somebody had to be lefty, you know?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That was fun. Fight. I don't know. Fighting is fun. I think, like, as an adult, you know, you got to be more careful because now you got, like, growing man strength. But I think as an adult, every needs to get punched at least, like, twice a year.

[Fahim Anwar]

That's a little too much.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Okay, maybe once a year, but in.

[Andrew Schulz]

A place, you know, you literally die.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Well, yeah, maybe not like a. You don't need, like, Mike Tyson to punch you, but somebody with, like, Equalish strength needs to just remind you what that feels like.

[Mark Gagnon]

Punch back in this scenario.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I think, like. Like, we don't got to do a whole purge. I think the world would be a better place if at least once a year, you go in for, like, a check, checkup, and it's you and one other guy, and you just. I get one punch on you, and you get one punch on me.

[Mark Gagnon]

It's like taxes. Like, every year you have to do it.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

And you show up.

[Andrew Schulz]

Chin gotta be chin.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You gotta remember what it's like to just take one to the face. And it probably also feel good to just punch somebody. That way, when somebody walks into the store you work at, you're not ignoring them when they're asking you for water. Because you're like, this guy might punch me. I better treat them.

[Andrew Schulz]

Exactly. Pretend you don't speak English. Try to white guilt them. That ain't me. I couldn't believe she tried that. Oh, I'm sorry. My English is not so good.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I almost spun again, but I was afraid you didn't let me n. I noticed it.

[Andrew Schulz]

You've been doing it. You haven't stopped. I want you to know you haven't stopped.

[Akash Singh]

I think I stopped.

[Mark Gagnon]

Think he's on the boat again.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I cut back, bro.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, no.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It's been going have a dream. You'll relax.

[Mark Gagnon]

I'm so glad. I've never been in a fight. I've never, like. I've been involved in fights, but I've never been in a fight. No one's ever been. Like, now we're fighting.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I used to think that it was like a flex to be like, yeah, I've been in fights. That's a bigger flex, though. So I've never been in a fight. This guy just always keeps it cool.

[Mark Gagnon]

Well, I feel kind of like a. But I've always, like, defused people have wanted to fight me, and then I'd be Like, yo, what. What is the point of all people.

[Fahim Anwar]

Take advantage of him, though.

[Andrew Schulz]

He's. He's very. No, he takes advantage of people. What are you talking about? This guy's a sociopath.

[Fahim Anwar]

Remember that time he was waiting for.

[Ralph Barbosa]

This, like, six hours or some like.

[Fahim Anwar]

That, and the guy made him pay or some like that?

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, yeah, like, yeah, like, he'll get over like that. But, like, like, with his friends, he, like, he uses the. Out of Miles, and Miles just doesn't say anything about it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, yeah, he manipulates Miles. He has no experience.

[Damian Lemon]

We've both never been in fights, so.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It'S sort of first. Yeah, we could be. We gotta put on. We gotta put on this Mark versus Miles fight.

[Andrew Schulz]

I would actually love that for Patreon.

[Mark Gagnon]

That could be beautiful.

[Damian Lemon]

We got 12 gloves and headgear in a boxing ring.

[Mark Gagnon]

We would absolutely WWE it. And the whole thing would be scripted.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Moves.

[Mark Gagnon]

It'd be like luchadors.

[Fahim Anwar]

No, you got fight for real.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Do the gear. Just do the gear. Headgear. But, like, I don't do gloves.

[Mark Gagnon]

Let's just talk about it. You know what I mean? You don't think we could just settle this? Like, I feel like this just was a big miscommunication. You know what I mean? Anytime someone's trying to fight me, it's just like, hey, let's just, you know.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You'Re going to murder somebody one day.

[Unknown]

All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second. You notice my extensions? And please ignore the lovely Soviet block girls behind me putting them in. I want to tell you guys about Extra's new wallet. This one is absolutely fantastic. I think that they made this one personally for me because it just so happens that it comes with a comb and a bottle opener. Maybe it has nothing to do with it. Maybe it's like a mustache comb or a beard comb. Or maybe you're throwing in your lovely locks that you're having placed in your head by these amazing women that have, you know, found a way out of Soviet poverty.

[Akash Singh]

The. The.

[Unknown]

The point that I'm trying to make right now is that Extra is changing the game once again. Obviously, it's got the same. Same great stuff. The RFID protection. This is the flagrant wallet, by the way, you guys sold out the last one immediately, so we're doing it again. Much better, because the new exit collab right here. It's got the trifecta, I'm telling you. It also has. This keychain is fantastic. So instead of having it on your ring the keys flying all over the place and it bumps in our pocket. You actually put the keys directly on here. They fold into this right here. And now all your keys, one convenient place. Flip up one at a time. This amazing flagrant wallet. It's got all the stuff that we always love. All right? Obviously, if somebody steals it from you, you can track them, go back to their house, steal it back. Okay, yes, it has the comb. Yes, it has the beer opener. Yes, it has the easy access for all your cards. And most importantly, it's that flagrant wallet, man. You pull up on any of us on the street with the flagrant wallet, it's a 100 conversation ratio. It's that simple. So for a limited time, you can get your extra extra flagrant Collab [e-mail] flagrant. That's partner.extra.com flagrant. Thank you, ladies so much for making this ad interesting, to say the least. Guys, I'll be in Australia. If you're out there, pull the up. If you're not, pull the up. I'll see you guys in a few weeks. Peace. All right, guys, let's take a break for a second. Listen. Today's episode is sponsored by Acorns. Acorns is a financial wellness app that helps you take control of your money with simple tools, making it easy to start saving and investing in your future financial wealth. Wellness as possible. And Acorns gives you small, simple steps to get you and your money on track. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that matches you and your money goals. You don't need to be rich. Acorns lets you get started with the spare money you've got right now. Even if all you've got is spare change. I'm telling you right now, this is a phenomenal tool. Okay, I think that, like, our idea of investing has kind of been bastardized a little bit. We might have even been propagandized to think like gambling on stocks is investing. That's not what investing is. Investing. Investing is putting money in a place, diversifying. Not just one place, many different places. Diversifying that and then letting it accumulate over years, hopefully decades. Setting yourself up down the line, your future, letting compound interest work for you. Sign up right now and join over 14 million all time customers who have already saved and invested over $25 billion with Acorns. Plus, Acorns will boost your new account with a $20 bonus. Investment offer is available at acorns.comflagrant that is a C O R-N-S.com Flagra F L A G R A N T to get your 20 investment bonus today. Remember this is a paid non client endorsement compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns Tier 2 competition provide vesting involves risk Acorns Advisors LLC and SEC register.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Investment advisory importance I was on Joe Rogan's podcast yesterday.

[Andrew Schulz]

We got it, bro. Second time you said it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Every time I. Every time he brought up somebody that I didn't know, I could see in his face. He's just like, what the.

[Mark Gagnon]

Wait, like, who do though?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't know. He brought up like. Well, I was reading this book that he had in. In like the lobby of like his studio and. And I know I'm gonna get for this, but I didn't know who Hunter S. Thompson was. And I was reading a Hunter S. Thompson book and I loved it.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And I was just like, that's honestly.

[Andrew Schulz]

Kind of your life right now.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Just traveling and doing crazy drugs.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Crazy drugs.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Fear and loathing.

[Andrew Schulz]

Fear and loathing. Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I was like, hey, man, is Hunter S. Thompson a dude or a chick?

[Andrew Schulz]

And he's just like.

[Ralph Barbosa]

He was just like, huh. That's not a bad question.

[Mark Gagnon]

The question is not bad.

[Andrew Schulz]

Here's the thing.

[Mark Gagnon]

Not knowing isn't bad.

[Andrew Schulz]

Joe is from Boston. Boston we see as like the whitest place. I have a feeling Ralph grew up super Mexican, super Latino. Hispanic. Whatever.

[Akash Singh]

Whatever.

[Andrew Schulz]

This is not. They're not gonna know about Hunter S. Thompson. Yeah, he's probably not gonna know about some Mexican.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

But it's just funny watching. I guarantee you there'd be people Joe didn't know that Ralph would be like, are you kidding me?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, like, you don't know.

[Mark Gagnon]

You don't know gente.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But to be fair, I mean, I don't have any books of gente, but yeah. And then there was other people that would be like, what's going on there? And he should be like, huh, like you.

[Akash Singh]

You don't know.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But it was cool. I just feel kind of bad that, like, so many people go on these podcasts and they share all this knowledge they have, and I kind of just go on these podcasts and like, gather the knowledge. If you listen to, like, these podcasts that I'm on a lot of the time, I'm just gathering information.

[Andrew Schulz]

What do you've learned so far? What you learned from Shannon?

[Ralph Barbosa]

From Shannon.

[Andrew Schulz]

Stay away from white women.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Be careful with that.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Let your team. Team gather all the information. You know, I think that worked. I feel like all his team gathered.

[Andrew Schulz]

Information for his episode yeah, yeah. How much do you think he actually knew about you?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, that I'm Mexican.

[Mark Gagnon]

I'm going to start. You know what I mean?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Do you think he knew who you were? Because I feel like he interviews people and he does.

[Ralph Barbosa]

No.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. See, I think he's saying I don't.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Think he knew, but I think he's like a good interview interviewer because it made me feel, like, comfortable and stuff.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Friendly.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, that's what it seems like.

[Andrew Schulz]

Very affable guy.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, yeah, he was very friendly. He was very friendly, like before we started the interview. So I was like, all right, I feel comfortable with him.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But I'm. I get nervous too, because, like, people who are really good at interviewing, that's like a specialty of theirs. They get you comfortable and then like, boom. Next thing you know, you're saying the name of the woman you love.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Damn.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I gotta stay on my toes.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's. So if you want to validate me as a good interviewer, you'll let that interview name out.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You're pretty good interviewer, but nah, you know, sh.

[Akash Singh]

Yo.

[Andrew Schulz]

You. If you had said her name on Club Shay or their name. I'm sorry, you had said that, human being name my Club Shay, that would have been.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nobody's, like, asked me about my love life like that. I mean, I think on Club Shay, he asked me, like, a little bit about danger.

[Andrew Schulz]

Something that's a sensitive subject for him right now. For me, I'm. I'm fascinated by it. I love knowing. Especially with comics. He asked about.

[Akash Singh]

About that.

[Andrew Schulz]

He said, you know, it's hard to find love because, you know, you're traveling so much.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I always find it interesting when comics data their comics. I feel like their comics with, like, they're either like, really good mental health or really poor mental health.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, in between.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

And I'm be honest, the first group that you mentioned, not many of those.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Very few.

[Andrew Schulz]

Very, very few.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'm not one of them coming.

[Akash Singh]

No.

[Andrew Schulz]

No.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I want to marry somebody.

[Akash Singh]

No.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't know if I'll get married, but I want to be with somebody who's, like, very different of me. Yeah, I feel like it's way more interesting like that.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You know, like, I don't. I want her to not like comedy at all.

[Andrew Schulz]

Hey, that will happen.

[Mark Gagnon]

Don't worry.

[Andrew Schulz]

I remember when I first started dating my wife, I was asking, like, you want to come to shows? And I was like, you're gonna get two. Kevin, want to come? I was like, you're gonna get tired of this. And she was like, no, I can never happen. And then like eight years later, I asked her, I said, hey, do you want to come to this show? And she goes, literally, I would rather do anything else.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That's cool when somebody can be honest with you about that.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

I thought my girl was from the jump. I used to drag her to open mics.

[Akash Singh]

I don't know.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You like women.

[Mark Gagnon]

Just cuz I don't fight, all right? Doesn't mean I won't fight a woman. I'm sorry. That's a dumb.

[Andrew Schulz]

She was sitting on that for an hour.

[Mark Gagnon]

He's about to sit on something else.

[Ralph Barbosa]

This guy's gay.

[Mark Gagnon]

But I would drag her to open mics and she'd be like, I don't like this. And I was like, yeah, but we get to hang out. You know what I mean? You can like hang, then I'll do the spa and then it's cool. And she goes, I don't want. I would rather not see you.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh.

[Mark Gagnon]

She's like, I'd rather stay at the house. And then you just see me whenever you're done.

[Andrew Schulz]

She's right. She was right about that.

[Mark Gagnon]

And even to this day, I will just talk to her about anything. And it's so hard to even get into the conference combo because she's like, you know, what's. What's going on? I'm like, well, there's this crazy thing happening with this current event and we're trying to figure it out. And she's like, and who is that guy? Like, straight up. She was just like, what? Who is Netanyahu? And I was like, it's funny you ask. And then like, she doesn't know anything, so I just like break down.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And she's.

[Akash Singh]

That's great.

[Mark Gagnon]

She's like, that's crazy.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's great.

[Fahim Anwar]

My short is exactly like that.

[Mark Gagnon]

It's remarkable.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. She has no idea what the is going on.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That's awesome.

[Fahim Anwar]

And she's so happy.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, right? Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like every guest, she's like, what did they do?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'm disappointed in myself that I relate more to yalls girlfriends. I also don't know what's going on half the time.

[Andrew Schulz]

Good, dude.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

You'd make a good girlfriend or I.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Think I would make a good girlfriend. If I go to prison, I'll be all right.

[Akash Singh]

Damn, that.

[Mark Gagnon]

That scares me, bro. I went to a prison recently.

[Akash Singh]

For what?

[Mark Gagnon]

Just to go check it out.

[Ralph Barbosa]

What do you mean? What do you do for fun, bro? Honestly, this kind of prison Tours. Yeah, just like, emailing.

[Andrew Schulz]

Can he tell you the real. He went with J. Jelly Roll. You know Jelly Roll?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, yeah, I know Jelly Roll.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

So I was with Jelly Roll in Portland. He was like, yo, I'm going to do a concert for the inmates.

[Andrew Schulz]

Jelly Roll is like a real. He's. And he's.

[Mark Gagnon]

Because he was in prison for some.

[Andrew Schulz]

Great guy dude, he'll go perform at prisons because he was incarcerated.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I didn't know he'd perform at prisons. I've met him. You don't talk about Bert Kreischer.

[Andrew Schulz]

He will never talk about that publicly. He'll just do it.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's the kind of guy.

[Mark Gagnon]

He doesn't get paid for it. He just goes and, like, you think, like, oh, well, this is, like, a thing the prisons do. When he went to the prison, no one had ever performed any type of live action there since, like, 1994.

[Akash Singh]

Wow.

[Mark Gagnon]

Stevie Ray Vaughan went to this prison, and he was the next person I.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Love T. Ray Von.

[Mark Gagnon]

He was the last one to do it, like, 25 years ago. And so Jelly Roll went. And then he went back, like, two years later, and that's when I was there. And he was like, yo, you want to go?

[Ralph Barbosa]

What kind of prison is this, though?

[Mark Gagnon]

This is a max. So, like, people in there for life.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, crazy.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Like, murders and.

[Akash Singh]

Say again?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Like, a lot of murders and.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

And great group of guys.

[Fahim Anwar]

You were going to do comedy, right?

[Mark Gagnon]

Well, Jayle wanted me to. He was like, yo, will you open the show? Do five minutes?

[Akash Singh]

Did you?

[Mark Gagnon]

I was stressing. And he was like, yeah, just come. And I was like, I'd rather just go check it out. He's like, no, no, go.

[Andrew Schulz]

Go do what I would do.

[Mark Gagnon]

I was like, I don't know, bro.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You got to do it just to.

[Mark Gagnon]

Just for the reps, bro.

[Akash Singh]

Just.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Just to try it out.

[Mark Gagnon]

Just the workshops and stuff.

[Ralph Barbosa]

When's the last time these guys had somebody, like, bomb in front of them? No, but when's the last time somebody could just be vulnerable in a prison? That's true. They need that, I think. I don't know.

[Mark Gagnon]

I don't know what I could say. I'm going through my jokes. I'm like, I was gonna do crowd work. I'm like, what do you do?

[Akash Singh]

All right.

[Ralph Barbosa]

What did you used to do? What do you want?

[Andrew Schulz]

What did you do to get in here, get some fun with that?

[Fahim Anwar]

You would have got punched in the face for the first time.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, probably.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, I was stressing. I was like, okay, opening joke. I might just be like, hey, guys, I want, you know, I'm not gonna.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Pander to any Jeff Ross. Didn't he go and, like, roast prisoners one time?

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, I think so.

[Ralph Barbosa]

They loved it. Yeah, he's alive, you know, But I stress.

[Mark Gagnon]

But then the second we got there, apparently, like, the prison's run by a union, and the union boss of the prison or something. I don't know how the hierarchy is, but they were like, yeah, we can't do anything, like, off script, so, like.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Just stick to the music.

[Mark Gagnon]

So they were like, music on, guys.

[Unknown]

You see the lights, you already know what time it is. Okay? Blue Chew. Same active ingredients inside. Cialis or Viagra. This is the chew, okay? This is the one you always want to have on deck. You don't know what's going to happen that night. You don't know how stressed you're going to be, but you're going to need to deliver, okay? Because that girl that's panting. That girl that's just.

[Akash Singh]

That's just.

[Unknown]

Just dripping and waiting for you and so hungry. She's so hungry. She needs to be fed, and she don't want some sloppy little gummy bear. She wants the real thing. She wants America, okay? She wants that flag raised. You ever see those soldiers at Iwo Jima? That's what she wants. That's what she wants. She wants to see that flag raised. And you're going to help get a raise with Bluechew, okay? Blue Chew. Telling you you're going to get it for free your first month. All you got to use is promo code flavor. You go to bluechew.com, use the promo code flavor, you get your first month free. You're welcome. Now let's get back to the show. All right, guys, let's take a break for a second. Have you ever had a craving for that favorite panini you love so much? All you can think about is that perfectly toasted pressed sandwich. So you think about running out to go get it, but it's too cold or you're too lazy, so you order delivery instead. And the entire time you're waiting for it, you're envisioning yourself enjoying that memorial melted cheese and warm meat in the comfort of your home. But it never comes. Client of Morgan Morgan has recently been awarded nearly $1 million after jurors affirmed that her injuries from slipping on ice outside of a Panera Bread were the company's fault. Their client was working as a doordash driver when she slipped and fell on an icy Walkway outside of the Panera in Fort Wayne, Indiana. She broke her left elbow, which led to surgery and hardware being inserted into her arm. This is a tragedy. The original settlement offer was for $125,000, but Morgan and Morgan fought to get her the million dollar verdict she deserved.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That's what I'm saying.

[Mark Gagnon]

Lawyers, if you order that, you should get a cut.

[Andrew Schulz]

If I order the Panera bread, low key. I didn't get my broccoli bowl.

[Mark Gagnon]

I get ten grand at least.

[Unknown]

This is a great point because if you buy a lotto ticket at a bodega, the lotto, the bodega gets a.

[Mark Gagnon]

Little of that lotto.

[Unknown]

I think they get a bonus.

[Akash Singh]

Wow.

[Unknown]

Morgan and Morgan is America's largest injury firm for a reason. They've been fighting for the people for over 35. Hiring the wrong firm can be disastrous. Hiring the right firm could be substantially, well, could substantially increase your settlement. With Morgan and Morgan, it's easy to get started and their fee is free unless they win. Visit forthepeople.com flagrant or dial pound L A W law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. That is F O R the people.com flagrant. This is a paid advertisement. Let's get back to the show.

[Damian Lemon]

I feel like I'm similar to you except for I have less money. I'm on Facebook, Marketplace all the time.

[Ralph Barbosa]

What do you like?

[Damian Lemon]

Clappers and holes and whatever I want.

[Andrew Schulz]

But I, I son, the second you talk to him, he checked his cell phone. You know how rude that is?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'm sorry.

[Akash Singh]

Just keep blowing. Bro.

[Ralph Barbosa]

My phone is blowing up.

[Akash Singh]

Who?

[Damian Lemon]

I got a couple images here. I want to know what you would pick and why in this situation.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Catfish Camaro. Catfish Camaro kicks ass.

[Andrew Schulz]

Why is that called a catfish Camaro?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Cuz the front looks like a catfish.

[Damian Lemon]

Yeah, okay, the front of it. But why the Camaro? Is it, is it something you just like?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Chevy. I like Chevy a little more than Ford most of the time.

[Damian Lemon]

Why do all Mexicans like Chevy? That's a question I need to know.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't know, bro. He was, you know, he pulled this up with that exact question in mind.

[Akash Singh]

Well, why.

[Andrew Schulz]

Why do Mexicans like Chevy?

[Akash Singh]

He.

[Andrew Schulz]

He had you.

[Ralph Barbosa]

This was a citizenship test. They're actually both Mustangs. But I see the Camaro.

[Damian Lemon]

Why is that?

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't know.

[Damian Lemon]

Every Mexican I knew wanted a Silverado.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I know a lot of Mexicans who like Fords. Really?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Damian Lemon]

I feel like a Silverado.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I think the best truck you could buy right Now, Yeah. Is an F150 from like 90s. F150s are like beautiful, don't get me wrong. But like the best performing truck you could get is from 20. He's like 28 to 18 to now the single cab F155.0.

[Damian Lemon]

I mean, single cabs are dead. Five zero is about to be dead, so. Makes a lot of sense.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Those trucks are like the fastest trucks out there right now. Yeah, they're fire. They call them Mexican GTRs.

[Damian Lemon]

That's very funny.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't know about like every state, but like in a lot of. You see it a lot in Texas, they tune those and they're just twin. A twin turbo single cab F150 with a five zero is like rear wheel drive.

[Damian Lemon]

They rip.

[Ralph Barbosa]

They're all wheel drive. Oh, really?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Damn. So like against other trucks, like they're undefeated, I think.

[Mark Gagnon]

Can you explain slab riding? Like, why do people like slabs?

[Akash Singh]

Oh, I don't know.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I guess it's more like a Houston thing than like Texas thing. I guess they're just loud music. It looks nice. But they. They do it to cars that look good but are usually slow. So I don't. I think they just stuck to like. Well, let's just keep it slow then.

[Andrew Schulz]

You know you Houston more than Dallas?

[Akash Singh]

More.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I mean, I'm from Dallas, man. Dallas is my hometown. But Houston is fun. Houston sells my shows out quicker than Dallas.

[Andrew Schulz]

I have the same.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You too?

[Andrew Schulz]

Same.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That's crazy.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's why both of my specials, the first one's like 20 minutes, but I filmed both in Houston. Oh, I have things in Houston.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I almost filmed my. My last one in Houston.

[Andrew Schulz]

Done.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't understand it. I feel like in general, I don't know about the Latino culture, but I vibe better with Houston people. They seem a little more down to earth, but I'm talking like Indian, white people, black people. Like. Yeah, I just vibe better with them. Seems like maybe.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I feel like my next special I'll probably do like Houston or Chicago. Those two cities. I don't know, man. They show a lot of love.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's crazy.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Which is crazy too, because Dallas and Houston have like a rivalry for some reason.

[Andrew Schulz]

But Houston shows love, dude. And Paul Wall told me he got love in Dallas before he got love in Houston. It's a weird thing.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, that's weird. Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

But he was like, yeah. Cuz I remember telling him, he came to a show and I was like, yo, I feel like I'm getting more love here.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, hold on. This is More important.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Yeah. Yes.

[Damian Lemon]

Single cab slam Chevy Silverado.

[Ralph Barbosa]

The Silverado. That Silverado looks tough as far as like that generation. Chevys are better tough. Yeah, I like those better. What do you drive?

[Andrew Schulz]

Let's take that.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You don't have a car. That's such a New York thing.

[Akash Singh]

I know, dude.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's why he'll never move here, bro. He's not gonna drive the ride the train.

[Akash Singh]

You know what I mean?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, I mean I like the train. Like it's freeing sometimes too, but. Yeah, I gotta drive some something.

[Damian Lemon]

All right.

[Akash Singh]

Charger.

[Andrew Schulz]

Not even close.

[Damian Lemon]

Charger Impala.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah, I'm still going. Why? Yeah, I've still go Impala Charger dog.

[Andrew Schulz]

That looks.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't know why that Charger looks heavy.

[Damian Lemon]

Yeah, they're both boats. They're not moving fast, but for sure is way sicker. I don't know why the Impala sicker.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You got more of these Charger guys. Were you making these the entire.

[Damian Lemon]

I was making this while you guys were talking, so I only got a couple.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, that's awesome. Let's do this.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I get the. I had that car. Which 350 Infinity or the 350 Infinity?

[Damian Lemon]

You know black people love Infinity.

[Mark Gagnon]

Is it bad?

[Andrew Schulz]

Infinity.

[Damian Lemon]

Black people love Nissans and Infinities. I don't know why Mexicans love Chevys.

[Andrew Schulz]

There's.

[Damian Lemon]

There are rules here and I don't know why.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't know about that. I know Indians love Toyotas and Hondas. Toyota more so.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah.

[Damian Lemon]

Cuz they're like.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You guys know what to invest into.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Resale value is the best. I the Infinity G35, I think it's like a better car. I think.

[Akash Singh]

Right.

[Ralph Barbosa]

The 350Z is going to be way funner, way more fun. It's always we're made, we're like ready to drift.

[Damian Lemon]

Yeah, they're sick.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

What would you pick? The 350Z.

[Mark Gagnon]

I'm so white. I look at both these, I fear they're just like grandma cars.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I bought a 350Z from a dude who looks like he could be Mark's cousin. The dude looked like he was on med. He's cool. What the.

[Mark Gagnon]

My cousin.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Dream a drug addict Marauder.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, I'd get the I. I love the gto but I'd get the Marauder.

[Damian Lemon]

The Marauders are so sick.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, I know. They're harder to find I think than the GTOs.

[Damian Lemon]

Yeah, they're awesome.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yo, you vibe with Carlos Miller on this? Carlos be doing this he be fixing up cars?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I've never met him in person, but he'll send me, like, car videos sometimes.

[Andrew Schulz]

He's great.

[Akash Singh]

Dude.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's the man.

[Damian Lemon]

Do you like German cars?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I do.

[Mark Gagnon]

How is this even comparable? I don't even understand.

[Damian Lemon]

I'm just saying, you got the. The money, you got to look. One of them is way more like, scary to buy, which is $160,000 or 160,000 mile SLK bends.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, the.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I still go SLK, though, but I wouldn't go convertible.

[Andrew Schulz]

Is that GTI stick shift? I. I miss. I miss driving.

[Akash Singh]

Manual.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, manual.

[Mark Gagnon]

How is the GTI even in the conversation? Like, why is that called?

[Andrew Schulz]

People like, souping that up.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's a hatchback.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Damian Lemon]

GT are cool. They have history.

[Ralph Barbosa]

People soup those up.

[Andrew Schulz]

My first car was viable civic hatchback that people si. And people who like souping up cars would be like, y. I'll buy that car from you on the spot.

[Akash Singh]

Oh, yeah.

[Damian Lemon]

Especially in Texas.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

How many cars do you have? Do you have a collection or not?

[Andrew Schulz]

No, no, no, no, no. I'm. I'm here. So I'm in New York. I got one car.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You got one car?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. I want a minivan real bad, though.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I feel like I would save money in New York. You want a minivan?

[Andrew Schulz]

I want a minivan.

[Akash Singh]

You have.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You have kids already?

[Akash Singh]

Nah. No.

[Ralph Barbosa]

How many kids do you want to have?

[Andrew Schulz]

2 to 3.

[Akash Singh]

I deal with.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Get on there, brother.

[Akash Singh]

I know.

[Andrew Schulz]

I am trying.

[Damian Lemon]

Speaking of vans. Speaking of vans, this is a clapper edition. Which clapper? You.

[Ralph Barbosa]

This is like the between two evils. Like.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

This is clapped out astro van. Absolutely.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Beaner and beaner.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I go van because you could live in it.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's what I want to do. I want to take a van and take it on the road. That would be modified.

[Ralph Barbosa]

If I didn't have a kid, I would live in a van.

[Akash Singh]

Really? Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

How old now? Six.

[Ralph Barbosa]

He's six. How did you damn math?

[Andrew Schulz]

You heard three years ago he was three.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Damn. I was here. I was here a minute ago.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

So how's he doing now?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, man, he's. He hates my job. He likes it. And then he don't like me to leave, though. But he says he wants to be a comedian.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Every time he says he wants to be a comedian, like, it warms my heart. But then I think about all the drugs I've done, and I'm like, nah, yeah, do something else.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You know, I'm like, be a police officer.

[Andrew Schulz]

You know, it helped him not be a comedian. You get to therapy?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

You keep leaving this kid, he's going to be like, I have issues. I got to work out, and I'm going to be a comedian.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah, man. He's with me like, half the week, so I think that's pretty good. And then the other half, I'm out here. That sounds insane to somebody who, like, just lives with their kids.

[Andrew Schulz]

You know? He gave me fine, dude.

[Fahim Anwar]

You never bring him on the road with you.

[Andrew Schulz]

He's 50% of the most.

[Akash Singh]

Makes sense. Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I've taken him to, like, two road gigs.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Yeah. How was that?

[Ralph Barbosa]

It's always. He likes traveling, though. It just. I took him to Denver and I took him to Houston. The Houston one was tough because my dad was out there with me and my stepmom, and he was with me like, two days, and then on the third day, he had to drive back to Dallas with my dad and my stepmom, and he was, like, sad to go and stuff. But the other one, we flew to Denver and then flew back with me, and now he's just like, let's go back to Denver. We want to see the snow. I'm like, bro, it's summer. Like, it's not snowing right now. They don't get it yet, you know? That's so sweet. Kids. Kids don't understand. Not the best. Just the kid.

[Mark Gagnon]

Was it crazy showing him the venue? Like, did he walk on a stage at all?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah, he didn't really give a about it. He's like, I don't want to see that.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's a good sign, right?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Awesome.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's a great sign.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I love that. He's just more there for, like, the other experience.

[Andrew Schulz]

He just wants to be with you, dude. He could not care less that you're famous.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

For real. N. We were at a. We're at the mall, and I wore shades in a hat because I just. I don't, like. I don't get recognized, like, a crazy amount. But that day I was like, I don't want to.

[Andrew Schulz]

Mall in Dallas?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

North Park.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I just didn't want to get recognized or somebody. Sometimes people take pictures of me.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Like, I'll get a picture of me taken without me knowing, and I get, like, tagged in it, and I don't want that to happen when I'm with my kid. Yeah, I'm out there.

[Mark Gagnon]

My ass was walking on the street with my kid, eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on the street. How old's Your kid nine months or ten months?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Like, tiny?

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, he's a little baby. But I was walking, and some dude walks up. He's like, yo, love the podcast. I was like, oh, just, like, eating peanut butter on the street, like, looking crazy.

[Akash Singh]

Crazy. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

My hair is even frizzier than this. I was like, I should probably not be outside, because I don't even. I don't even think about people saying, what's up to me.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'll go sloppy everywhere.

[Mark Gagnon]

It's embarrassing.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah, it's all right.

[Mark Gagnon]

I don't like it. I. I feel. I always want to apologize. Hey, I'm sorry that I'm. I am this way.

[Ralph Barbosa]

My son be wanting to expose me, though. Like, I was wearing the hats and the shades, and my son wanted to grab the shades, and I was like, nah, don't take them off. And this. It caught me off guard that he, like, said this. He was like. He's like, why don't you want to take them off? He's like, you don't want people to know you're Ralph Barbosa.

[Akash Singh]

Oh.

[Andrew Schulz]

And then he goes crazy.

[Ralph Barbosa]

He goes, I'm gonna yell. I'm gonna be like, everybody is Ralph. I'm like, yo, you really made a little you.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's crazy, because that's exactly what you would say to you.

[Ralph Barbosa]

One time, I think he was with his mom one time, she was telling me that she took him somewhere recently, and I guess they went to a store where, like, I've taken pictures of the people there before or something.

[Akash Singh]

Something.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And that she told my kid, like, oh, yeah, these people are fans of your dad. And apparently, he went up to the register, was like, I'm my dad's son. And they're just like, all right. Like, they don't know. They don't know who the.

[Mark Gagnon]

You're talking about trying to get candy.

[Akash Singh]

And.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, give me this.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Like, all right, bro, get the out here. Well, I like being a dad, man. I don't know if I could have more kids. One time, they told me my semen was, like, not up to par.

[Andrew Schulz]

And, like, something about that chair.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Sorry, but I kind of want to go to the doctor and, like, get my nut fixed.

[Andrew Schulz]

Well, so Andrew had the same issue. Slow swimmers, I think his issue. But you can ivf. You can get that taken care of.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, they told me it's like, slow swimmers. Very few swimmers. And a lot of them are not shaped right. Like, yes. Eaten months.

[Mark Gagnon]

You want to run that back?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'm pretty sure it's been months.

[Andrew Schulz]

Now that I Heard that. I heard too much marijuana can affect your sperm.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, yeah, I could see that for sure. I also heard it's like, boxers. You ever get these ads that are like. They make you feel stupid for, like, stuff that you just were doing innocently?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, like the underwear one. I think I know what.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You know what? Organic underwear or whatever, they're like. Like, yo, idiot, you still wearing polyester boxers? Yeah, I don't know. Maybe.

[Andrew Schulz]

I wore the ones in the store that they sold.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, they're like, no, that can up your. Your sperm.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, I've seen that exact commercial, bro.

[Mark Gagnon]

That happens so much with parenting stuff. Like, I get TikToks or, like, Instagram reels all the time. That's like, yo, are you playing music for your kid? Because it can affect their hearing. They'll be deaf forever.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

And then I'm like, is this real?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Like, yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

And then you'll see another one. It's like, you need to play music all the time to expose them to different sounds.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Like, okay, you fucking up no matter what.

[Mark Gagnon]

Exactly.

[Akash Singh]

Exactly.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You have to do our best.

[Akash Singh]

You have kids, bro?

[Fahim Anwar]

Nah, no kids.

[Akash Singh]

Well, go ahead.

[Andrew Schulz]

He's killed a few before they were born.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Jesus.

[Mark Gagnon]

Brutal.

[Ralph Barbosa]

How do you kill them before they're born, though?

[Andrew Schulz]

Ask Texas.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, he's in Texas. He doesn't even know what that is.

[Andrew Schulz]

This guy's not allowed within state lines, dude. He tried to fly to Austin. They stopped him at the border. There's one postage of this guy everywhere in Texas.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I can see that.

[Fahim Anwar]

I don't think I want kids.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, I don't think so.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I guess. I guess it's.

[Andrew Schulz]

I guess it's good.

[Fahim Anwar]

I still got time if I change my mind, but. Right now? Yeah, I don't think so.

[Mark Gagnon]

Really?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Why? I don't know.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's just not calling me. You know how you guys, like, want kids? Like, he wants kids.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'm like, look, man, I'm going to bring this up for the third time, but I did Joe Rogan's podcast. He told me there's a shortage in Japan of people.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Which you wouldn't think, right? I mean, you watch Tokyo Drift, you see the scene where they go through.

[Mark Gagnon]

All the people also 10 times, Rob Japan, for the record, a little weeb, little weed.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'm worried about Japan. They have a shortage of people. They can't replace the people that are there.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

So. And then Joe showed me a picture of some guy who's, like, in a relationship with an anime character.

[Akash Singh]

And then.

[Andrew Schulz]

So then you want to be that guy?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I want to be that character. No, but that's like some scary. Don't be that guy, bro.

[Fahim Anwar]

Why?

[Ralph Barbosa]

It's better you be a shitty father than not a father at all.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's a good point.

[Andrew Schulz]

I never disagreed with anything more in.

[Ralph Barbosa]

My life for the sake of our economy.

[Fahim Anwar]

Think my dad took that advice.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Have a kid and then just leave.

[Damian Lemon]

Why?

[Ralph Barbosa]

It's cuz we need to not be Japan. Why? Why is it a bad.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, you didn't say anything about why it's bad. You just.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't know. Joe Rogan said it's bad, man.

[Andrew Schulz]

But Joe's with his kids.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, it's true. But he said that it's bad for Japan.

[Andrew Schulz]

That.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Because that's like really bad.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

They got a negative birth rate. More old people than young people.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

So people will die, right?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, I get, I understand. I understand that part. But why is that so bad?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't know. I don't necessarily understand the economy of.

[Mark Gagnon]

A few people can't support a bunch of pensioners that don't work.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I. I would die off. I would imagine this is just high school diploma talking.

[Akash Singh]

Okay.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I would imagine that there's like not gonna be enough jobs being taken care of. Like if there's three farmers working on a farm but they didn't have kids or whatever, who's gonna like take over the farm? There's no farm. Who's gonna make the weird.

[Andrew Schulz]

But once those old people die now the population just shrinks and now we're back. It's a short term problem. I think it's like a 20 old year. Your problem. Once these old people die, we're all good.

[Fahim Anwar]

And AI and robots are taking most jobs anyway.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I would like to see that's also.

[Fahim Anwar]

Probably a better thing.

[Andrew Schulz]

Valid point.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I need you three guys to go on Joe Rogan next or I need you guys to go with me next time I do it because you probably won't be invited, but I will. And every time he brings up a subject, I congregate with you guys. And then we rebuttal. The Epstein thing. What's going on? Who's going to jail?

[Mark Gagnon]

He's a pedophile.

[Andrew Schulz]

No one's going to jail. That we've learned. No one's going to jail. Hey, you know, apparently nothing happened.

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, that's insane. That's so insane.

[Andrew Schulz]

So Mark could probably tell you more about what actually happened.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Tom Hanks was on the list.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay.

[Mark Gagnon]

I don't know if that's true.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I need to Know if I can.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't believe Tom Hanks or not. I don't believe Tom Hanks on the list. I think people who get really deep in the conspiracy start saying Tom Hanks is on the list. But I don't think he's actually on the list.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I really hope he's not. I need him to not be on that list.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I love Tom Hanks.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, I agree.

[Ralph Barbosa]

What's your.

[Andrew Schulz]

What's your favorite Tom Hanks movie?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Toy Story.

[Andrew Schulz]

The one where you don't see him at all this.

[Ralph Barbosa]

His voice.

[Mark Gagnon]

The one where he's getting played with.

[Ralph Barbosa]

By a kid or maybe.

[Mark Gagnon]

That'S kind of crazy, bro. That's wild. The one where he's a little Woody.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'm connecting the dots. One stop connecting.

[Mark Gagnon]

A kid is playing with him. A kid's touching him, and he's Woody.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I was gonna bring up another movie, but it's still just the pedophilia. I was gonna say big, big grown woman. Tom Hanks, bro.

[Mark Gagnon]

All the writings on the wall. You're connected to the dots.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Really?

[Mark Gagnon]

Welcome to it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

The Matrix.

[Mark Gagnon]

Tom Hanks in the Matrix.

[Ralph Barbosa]

So nobody.

[Fahim Anwar]

If he was on the list. Would you stop lagging?

[Ralph Barbosa]

If he was on the list was.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Those movies would hit way different.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I mean, I just, like, ever since I even heard the rumor, I just can't watch Tom Hanks movie without just wondering, like, half the movie, I'm like, this guy is so talented. And then the other half, I'm like, but he's twisted.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't think Tom Hanks in the West. I just don't think so.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Maybe you're in love with Tom Hanks.

[Andrew Schulz]

Maybe. Maybe I choose to believe the good and bad Tom Hanks, you know, it's an underrated Tom Hanks movie. Seen the terminal?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

That cracks.

[Akash Singh]

Did you ever hear.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Did you ever read about the true story of the terminal?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

The dude that lived in the airport.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, the dude lived in the airport. And he was not as handsome as Tom Hanks. Tell you that right now.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

He got an upgrade in the casting on that.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And then they, like, gave him citizenship.

[Akash Singh]

Right.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And then he didn't like living in the outside, so he went back to live at the airport. And then he died at the airport. Like.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Can we get an image of the dude?

[Akash Singh]

Dude, yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

He literally just posted an airport for, like, 25 years.

[Ralph Barbosa]

If I saw that guy at the airport, I would report him.

[Fahim Anwar]

You're allowed to do that.

[Mark Gagnon]

One guy.

[Andrew Schulz]

I would snitch.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yo, look at him. I'D be like that guy.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't think he's that bad looking.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That guy's on the Epstein list.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, he just looks Middle Eastern.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah, bro, look at that mustache.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, Middle Eastern.

[Damian Lemon]

He's Iranian.

[Andrew Schulz]

Bang.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, I said.

[Damian Lemon]

And he was like stateless if I remember.

[Akash Singh]

Chocolate.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Look at his eyes. Eyes.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't think he's that ugly. He just bald.

[Fahim Anwar]

He's no Tom Hanks though.

[Ralph Barbosa]

He's no Tom Hanks.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's a fact. Okay, I didn't know Tom Hanks was hot.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You can tell me that guy's not that ugly. Come on. I don't stop doing drugs. That's me in 10 years. I'm terminal part two.

[Mark Gagnon]

I don't even know how that happens though. Like, you just try to. You like, miss your flight and you're like, it. I'm living live here now.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah, I think the story was that he. He's flying to America. And as he's flying in, his country ceases to exist.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Due to war. They infiltrate his country and like, they took it over. He's a citizen of like, nowhere. So he can't.

[Damian Lemon]

Stateless.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

So he can't even leave the airport because it's like, illegal. He's like, he walk through custom. Beautiful.

[Mark Gagnon]

I've never seen it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

What's the girl's name? Movie Catherine.

[Andrew Schulz]

She looks gorgeous in that movie.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Well, she was going. She was on a run during that little era.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

She Ocean did 12. Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

She's still. I know.

[Mark Gagnon]

Wait, but what country he's from? You said he's a Persian.

[Damian Lemon]

He was from.

[Andrew Schulz]

The actual person's Iranian, but in the movie they like, make up a country.

[Damian Lemon]

Yeah, they put him in some made up country in the movie.

[Akash Singh]

Whoa.

[Fahim Anwar]

I still don't get how does he just stay in the airport though?

[Andrew Schulz]

Because they can't let him into America because he's not a citizen.

[Damian Lemon]

He's in Paris. They can't let him into France. Airports are not actually part of the country.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Wait, he was in. He was in Paris? Yeah, he's in Paris.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, in the real story.

[Ralph Barbosa]

In the real story, he was in Paris.

[Damian Lemon]

Oh, so sorry.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Fahim Anwar]

I mean, but was he rich? Like, how's he feeding himself? How's he like.

[Damian Lemon]

People would like, donate and give him food.

[Mark Gagnon]

He was coffee bean. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Schulz]

You're just eating. If you watch. If you watch the movie, which to me is the real story.

[Damian Lemon]

He's also like homies with all he.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Really hustles there yeah, people that work there would like them.

[Damian Lemon]

They gave him like a little corner could sleep in.

[Mark Gagnon]

I thought it was a love story. I thought he falls in love at the airport. I thought that's what the movie was.

[Andrew Schulz]

Watch the movie.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Just masturbated in an airport a lot. That's Hollywood.

[Mark Gagnon]

No. What am I thinking? A missed connection. Is that, Is that a movie where people fall in love in the airport? Joe, I really thought this was a love story. I swear to God, I had no idea. This movie sounds awesome. That's wild.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's a beautiful film.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Tom Hanks not on the list. I can't. I can't see it.

[Damian Lemon]

I also think he's not attached to the list. I think he's attached to some, like, glove.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, it's another different conspiracy where he's like post stuff on Instagram. People look into it and they're like, look, he's. He's doing the. He's part of this big.

[Damian Lemon]

It's much more like hair brained. It's less. Less.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, he'll just post a glove and people are like, this is a sign he killed someone.

[Damian Lemon]

You can, you can keep watching Toy Story.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, I don't think he's connected to Epstein. Oh, no, but he did react when Ricky Gervais did the jokes about Epstein. He was like, so people are like, oh, he's involved because his reaction.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Ah, yeah, they're reaching.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, I think it's a reach.

[Andrew Schulz]

If he was actually on. If he was actually involved, he would laugh to lie. That's what actual actors always do. When someone else wins the Oscar and they all pretend they're happy, they're like all lying.

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, that's what he would do. They're happy. Come on, don't be so cynical. Are you not happy for the comics when they get like, you know what I mean? Okay, but you don't lie about it. So give the act.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm not an actor. Actors are liars by profession. You pretend to be someone else. That's like your whole job.

[Fahim Anwar]

He's so hur. Right now. He wanted to be an actor. He's like, don't call my profession.

[Andrew Schulz]

Sunday I'm going to be hanging out.

[Ralph Barbosa]

With Tom Hanks and Brett Crackpit and we're gonna look down on you.

[Andrew Schulz]

Akash, I hope that I. Dude, I pray that happens for you. Just stay away from the children.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I wouldn't.

[Akash Singh]

You now.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't even talk to my own kid.

[Akash Singh]

He is.

[Mark Gagnon]

He's doing a great job.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Come on. Who you talking to, huh? I don't think. I don't think I could make it as an actor. I didn't think about it, but when I did that Verizon commercial, like, it was like, all day filming.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But then that was it.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

One day. That's it. Actors do that for, like, months at a time. If I did. If I did any acting, which I think would be fun still, I would have to do small roles. Like, I.

[Akash Singh]

You know, I mean.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, but, you know, I don't think you need to be the lead. I would love to be just like the comedic side character and a thing. But before, that's how you used to make it. This is what I was saying before you get in a movie or TV show and then people be like, oh, that's Ralph Barbosa. And then they would find out you did stand up and see your stand up bro.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Something. It's the opposite that I realized a little too late in life is that, like, middle spots are, like, the sweetest, like, even in comedy.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, feature.

[Mark Gagnon]

I can't believe you would say that, bro.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Feature spots are sweet.

[Akash Singh]

You have to.

[Andrew Schulz]

He has to leave. He has to catch a flight to go headline. Actually, Mark, where you headline.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Where you headline in next week?

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, I'm going to be in Detroit and then Montreal and Toronto.

[Akash Singh]

Bang.

[Andrew Schulz]

There you go. Go Cash. Mark Gagginon. Suck his dick.

[Mark Gagnon]

Also, before. Before the show, I told Ralph I had to leave, and he was like, yeah, just at some point, just pretend.

[Ralph Barbosa]

To be offended and get out. Is that. I think middle spots, they're good.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

You got to dream bigger, bro.

[Ralph Barbosa]

His father was killed by a sandwich.

[Mark Gagnon]

I told you that in confidence. Don't bring that up. Edit that out. How dare you.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Sorry about that.

[Mark Gagnon]

I'll see y'.

[Akash Singh]

All.

[Andrew Schulz]

I love you, buddy.

[Akash Singh]

Love y'. All.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It's like a castle entrance.

[Andrew Schulz]

So you miss being a feature?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I. I got to feature for a short amount of time, but I never featured for anybody, like, on the road a lot.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Like to be touring with somebody.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But, yeah, I feel like that's, like.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's the best.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It's a good spot, you know, don't give me.

[Andrew Schulz]

If they give you 20 and let you rock 20, 25. Oh, God.

[Ralph Barbosa]

If you can make a living off of that. And I have to, like, really deal with a whole lot of. But then again, I'm. I'm. I sound so ungrateful. I wouldn't trade.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, I know. And I think. And I'm not even saying this, I think you have a healthy ego. It's not even a shot. I think you have a healthy, like I'm gonna be big and I think that's good. I think need that. So I, I don't think you'd be happy being a feature. I think you're you. I think you're going up and you want to keep going up.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. Cuz then if you're a feature, you'll never know people are there for you.

[Ralph Barbosa]

This true, but it's still sweet. It's a sweet spot.

[Andrew Schulz]

What he's saying is as a gig. So like I didn't feature a ton on the road either, but I'll look at my features and they'll do 20 and get off and they're done. And then I have to go to an hour and it's like, oh, your job is. Is easier.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's just a fun G. Yeah. This is more pressure and it's better. But it's. It's like the weight of the thing is on me. If you bomb, I'm coming to clean it up.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

If I bomb, what the happens? You know what I mean? People are posting about it, blah, blah, blah. So it's just like as a gig, it's the best gig.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

I would not trade lives, but it's best gig.

[Ralph Barbosa]

The feedback can be on you. Like good or bad reviews.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But if the feature just goes out there and does bad, they're like, who gives a. I didn't come to see him.

[Andrew Schulz]

But the show was so good.

[Ralph Barbosa]

If he does good, everybody's like, oh my God. Yeah. So much funnier.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. If you funnier than. And it's less time and the audience is already warm and you just do your best and get out. So sometimes they'll be like that, you know, you were better than the feature or you're better than the headline. I used to get that. Never want to open for Andrew, obviously. But like other people. Yo, you were better than the headliner. It's like, yeah, maybe. But also they. I had an easier gig.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I would tell people all the time I did like 15 minutes. They did like an hour.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It's not fair.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

But how is your act change since you're doing an hour now? Now, like are you digging in deeper? Are you getting in any personal stuff? You don't have to. I'm just curious.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah. I mean I've always, I feel like my materials always kind of ranged. I mean it's always silly either way. But I feel like lately, like the last few months I'VE been doing a lot of crowd work just because I'm tired of hearing my own act, and I've had a little bit of, like, writer's block.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I've just enjoyed the crowd work more.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's just been fun. So fun. It's the most honest moment.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

You know what I mean? Some people.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I know. I know. Like, I got maybe, like, two, three messages where they're just like, hey, man, I went to your show and, like, you did, like, a few jokes, and then you just did a lot of crowd work. Yeah, I just wanted to see jokes.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And I, like. I get it.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And I don't really post a lot of crowd work because I also don't want people to, like, expect crowd work and just start yelling a lot. But, yeah, it's been fun.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I just need a little break from the script.

[Akash Singh]

He. Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

I.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's what people. So when I first started before YouTube, before, like, if you need to put a clip up every week, you can't do a new joke every week. You'll burn out. So now we all do crowd work, but back then, people would judge it. And I was like, doug, that is the only real moment we're having. 98% of what I say is off the top. Some. One or two things I'll probably reuse, but every joke I've been working on, I do it in every city. It's like an. It's a script.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

This is not. This is real. This is us having a thing.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I love that. I like doing jokes. Jokes, too, that are like. Like, you. What do you call it? Like, fill in the blank type jokes, depending on the city.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Like, I was doing this joke. So I'll ask, though, before the show starts, I'll ask, like, the staff, like, what's, like, the ghettoest neighborhood around?

[Akash Singh]

You know?

[Ralph Barbosa]

So, like, I started doing it in Dallas. I'd be like. The joke was like, pleasant Grove or whatever.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I would use Pleasant Grove.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

So I'd go on stage, I'd be like. Like, I don't like when people act like they're too good for, like, junk food. Like, they, like, look down on junk food. Like, I was out with a girl, and. And I was like, oh, look, there's a food truck. We could just eat there. And she was like, I don't trust food trucks. I was like, you mean you don't trust. You think he's gonna drive off and get, like, a little laugh? And then she'd be like, no, I mean, I Don't like it. Like, what if they don't have a good health rating? Or like, what if it's not sanitary?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And then I'd be like, girl, I picked you up in Pleasant Grove.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And then, you know, it'd be like, ah. So then, like, I like doing that. That stuff on the road, yo, they love. Because then I'll change.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'll say like, oh, I'll pick you up in the Bronx. And yeah. It's like, oh, he gets it.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But then I also like to take it a step further and, like, let people know. Like, hey, like. Like, break the fourth wall. Like, y' all know I do this. I do this with a different neighborhood. Like, you're like, it's stupid, you know?

[Andrew Schulz]

No, that's great though, because they also. They wanna. They wanna know you're part of the thing and that you're talking about something that only they know. And like, if you're doing a Mexican show and talk about some. That only Mexican people know know, they love it. If I'm doing an Indian show and I'm talking about some inside, they love it. So it's the same thing. If I'm in San Diego, it's a.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Little more intimate like that. I love to. I love to like, break away from my own act. Even before I started doing crowd work, I would just, like, at some point in my show, I would like, give people a behind the scenes on, like, that joke. Like, you know, I wrote that and I was like, taking a.

[Akash Singh]

Yes. Wow.

[Andrew Schulz]

Why you like the doing that? I'm curious. I'm not even.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I feel like if I. If I just do a whole hour of like, joke after joke or like, joke story, joke, it can be very. I feel like people can tune out more and even I get bored of it.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But I get bored easily. I don't know. I don't know if it's like a.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, I think most people get bored easily now. We got phones all the time.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

So I got to think of some way to like, break the fourth wall. Get a little, like, keep them.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. Some new stimulus. That's a great idea. Yeah, that's good.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm curious because typically, how many years in you now?

[Akash Singh]

Eight.

[Andrew Schulz]

Nine. Nine.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'm like nine. Almost 10, I think.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

10 years and then 15 years and then 20 years. The act just keeps evolving. And it's going to be interesting to see because you blew up pretty quick, like we said, so you got about 14, 15 years left of evolving. And you're still going to be headlining. So, like, this is awesome. Your first Hulu Special, Planet Bosa is different than your last Netflix special. And then in 10 years, you're going to put out a special on whatever streamer or whatever that's going to be so different than this. And your fans get to, like, really follow you on the journey, which is going to be cool.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You know, I actually like the Planet Bosa special a little more than my last special.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's great.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. I.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But I actually feel like it's. Because it devolved.

[Andrew Schulz]

What do you mean?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Like, I feel like my Netflix special was hard for me to tell if. If I really like the jokes I was saying or not, like, getting laughs. It. I was using it. You know what I mean? And, like, it was cool. Whatever. But I feel like when I did this Hulu Special, I had already had more experience on the road and gotten way more comfortable that I got to just be myself on stage. Awesome. So, like, cowabung. I was, like, very, very nervous. Like bricks. I was like. But I feel like with the Hula Hulu one, I was just way more myself. I felt like I got to be like an older version of myself. Yeah, well, who knows? I don't know.

[Andrew Schulz]

But that's. Again, that's part of it. I don't even think. I don't even think it's devolving. I think it's, like, part of it. And you are. You're gonna keep growing.

[Mark Gagnon]

You're.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm 41. You're 28. I remember that. I'm a very different person in comic than I was in those 13 years. I mean, I wasn't that good then, but it's gonna. That's gonna be the same thing for you.

[Mark Gagnon]

Whatever.

[Andrew Schulz]

Devolve, evil. It's all grown, growth.

[Akash Singh]

I see.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I see a lot of, like, comics that I think are very funny. Like, comics that I'm a fan of.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Online. And I start to wonder, like, bro, should I be reading more?

[Akash Singh]

No.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Like, I feel like a lot of comics are, like, so, so much smarter nowadays.

[Fahim Anwar]

I feel like you read a lot, and you mentioned multiple books that you were reading.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Which one? The Hunter S. Thompson one. Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

And then there was another one. Oh, okay.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, I'll buy the book.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't read. Read?

[Akash Singh]

Nah.

[Andrew Schulz]

No. But you also didn't say you're a fan of me, so it's fine. But I don't read. I don't think you need. I think you need to be you. That's my personal thing. You just Got to be you. People love you. Specifically you, Ralph. They're like, oh, he's so funny.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Okay, I'll take it.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, so it's like just the more you. You are, the. The better.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I appreciate it, man.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Did I mention I started an automotive channel? I was supposed to promote that formula bean.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

They can't deport us if they can't catch us.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That' racing slogan.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

So what do y'.

[Ralph Barbosa]

All.

[Andrew Schulz]

Y' all race?

[Ralph Barbosa]

We've raced a couple times. We put nitrous and a turbo in a 1989 Nissan 240 not tuned, so it ran horribly and we blew it up.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's sick.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, we committed a sin and put an LS in a Skyline. Oh, I don't even know what that means, dude.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm be honest.

[Mark Gagnon]

This is one of those Rogan moments.

[Andrew Schulz]

Where I could pretend I know what you mean to look masculine, but n.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't know what the.

[Andrew Schulz]

You just said. I know Skyline, cuz it was on Gran Turismo back in the day. So Nissan, right?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. That's.

[Damian Lemon]

How many cars you own now? Like, what do you. What's your. Your stable look like?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Got 76 Camaro, 72 Camaro, 71 Skyline, 90 Skyline, 98. 240.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

96 Impala truck. C10. Yeah, I think I got 7. No, no, I got the SS and I got the 350. I think I got 9. Minus 10.

[Akash Singh]

10.

[Damian Lemon]

All right, and then what is the one you find yourself.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Four of them run Nice.

[Fahim Anwar]

All right, wait, you got cars that don't run?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Most of them don't run.

[Andrew Schulz]

You're gonna get them to run, though.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That's. Yeah, yeah, right.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's what I'm saying. Buying things that.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, man. I bought a 19. 1973 Barracuda fire. Yeah, I think it's sick.

[Andrew Schulz]

So you got 11 cars now.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

And how many. Four of them run.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, four or five.

[Damian Lemon]

How many run well and reliably? Do you have a reliable car that you have for like, family?

[Ralph Barbosa]

My. My R35. That's a family car.

[Fahim Anwar]

What's that?

[Ralph Barbosa]

That's not a family gtr.

[Andrew Schulz]

Accurate, is it? Acura?

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, no, it's a Nissan. Nissan gtr. That's not a.

[Damian Lemon]

You got a kid seat in there?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah, my son just sits in the back. I make him take his shoes off, though, because I don't want. Because there's not enough. There's not a whole lot of space for the back seat.

[Andrew Schulz]

Can I suggest an everyday car for you?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Toyota Sienna Hybrid Sienna.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Can you pull that up? What is Sienna?

[Damian Lemon]

The Toyota minivan.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, the minivan. I love minivans.

[Andrew Schulz]

I said. I said that. They're fire.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't like to drive them, though.

[Andrew Schulz]

N. You would love to drive with your son. He would actually be safe. His life would be okay.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I know he's safe, man. I'm a good driver.

[Andrew Schulz]

About the car, dude, you don't know what other people. There's other bad drive. I almost hit him. A guy yesterday. Crackhead walking down the street. I didn't see him.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Is that how you keep your family safe, by running over crackheads?

[Andrew Schulz]

Have I driven you anywhere?

[Fahim Anwar]

No.

[Ralph Barbosa]

My son would not be caught dead in that thing. Like, my son would not let us drive that. My son picks what we drive for the day. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, he'll tell me, like, hey, let's drive the SS today.

[Andrew Schulz]

Like, tell you something, you take him in that thing, you turn on the TV in the back seat, he'll be thrilled to death.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, he probably would like that, but he'll still call it lame. I know my son. He'll think that's so lame.

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, so he's into cars, too?

[Ralph Barbosa]

He's. Yeah, he's into cars.

[Fahim Anwar]

Does he, like, come with you while you're fixing it up?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, he'll be out there handing me stuff.

[Andrew Schulz]

And is there an age in which. Or like, an age. Is there a time in which a car isn't running and you're just like this. Oh, because I'm worried you're just going to keep buying cars that don't run and they're just going to keep not running.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, that's right.

[Andrew Schulz]

We're just going to have 14 cars that don't run and four that run.

[Fahim Anwar]

That's what I feel like already has happened.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I think the fact that you have.

[Fahim Anwar]

More cars that don't run, it's like you're at the point where.

[Andrew Schulz]

Great observation.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't think you should.

[Andrew Schulz]

Great observation, Alex.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Last week that I stayed home, like, all week, we got, like, three of them running. Like, there was more. The ratio was bad. It was so bad.

[Andrew Schulz]

If you had one car that was running.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Had, like, one car running.

[Fahim Anwar]

I don't think you're a good mechanic.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Well, I'm busy on the road, son.

[Andrew Schulz]

You can't commit to your kid a full week. You commit to six. Six cars to fix.

[Ralph Barbosa]

We got them. They're going. They're up and going. All right. You give me one week at home, the other six will be good to go.

[Andrew Schulz]

Two weeks off.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Take two. I'm trying.

[Andrew Schulz]

YouTube channel. You're dedicated. Can you be dedicated to this, please?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Look, bro, I'm trying to. This was Hulu's idea of the press tour.

[Akash Singh]

All right.

[Unknown]

What do you think about this?

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, okay. That's how we got you back the press tour.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You got to promote something. Baby.

[Mark Gagnon]

Baby, is there.

[Fahim Anwar]

What you think about this truck?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, man, those are badass. I don't even like Teslas, but those right there, I. I would buy those.

[Andrew Schulz]

I got one.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I got one. You got one. Those are sick. I love it as it picks up.

[Fahim Anwar]

That is fast.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And it's like, because of the crab.

[Akash Singh]

Where the.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Do you park that in New York, though?

[Fahim Anwar]

I got a garage.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, nice.

[Andrew Schulz]

You got to have a garage if you own a car.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah, it's just.

[Andrew Schulz]

I mean, you can, but it's so much easier if you.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, that's why having a car in New York is super expensive. Cuz not only you paying for the car, you paying for parking, paying for tickets. You're going to get a bunch of tickets. Tickets?

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. What?

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, These ticket people on the street, like, they'll get you. The moment it's a minute over, it's like, boom. Take.

[Ralph Barbosa]

This is tough city.

[Fahim Anwar]

They got you.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, I couldn't do it. You can go to Astoria.

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, story is cool. I'm right next to Astoria. I'm in Long Island City.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, okay.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's. But you would probably do Jersey. Jersey would be good. You have some space. You can have your car.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I went to New Jersey three months ago. I wanted to go to the Sopranos Diner. The. What is it it called where they shot him, but they said it's just like an ice cream shop now or something. Oh, what is that place called?

[Andrew Schulz]

You're a big Sopranos fan?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, I love Sopranos, son.

[Andrew Schulz]

I. I loved it. And then they took a break. I don't even. You're probably too young to remember this. They took a break for like two years. And then I was like, yeah, I'm good. Then I watched one or two episodes and I was like, I think Tony got shot in the stomach. And then it was like dream episodes. And I was like, I'm done.

[Akash Singh]

Wait, what.

[Ralph Barbosa]

What season did they take a break? They took a break between five and six or.

[Akash Singh]

What?

[Andrew Schulz]

Five and six or four and five. One of those two, because what's her name, Falco, had breast cancer. I think they took a big break from filming.

[Ralph Barbosa]

God forbid somebody has cancer and ruins your show.

[Andrew Schulz]

A no I'm not mad at it. I just fell out of love. No, I just fell out of love with it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It's still good, bro.

[Andrew Schulz]

You know, I just wasn't. And everybody said the ending wasn't that good. And I was like, all right.

[Ralph Barbosa]

The ending was amazing. It's the best ending in TV history.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's your favorite TV show of all time, Sopranos.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Favorite TV show of all, all time.

[Andrew Schulz]

Breaking Bad.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Breaking Bad is probably.

[Andrew Schulz]

I think I put Breaking Bad number one.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I think Breaking Bad is like my third. I think you go Sopranos, the Wire.

[Akash Singh]

Nah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And this is just drama shows. Soprano is my favorite show of all time.

[Akash Singh]

Right.

[Damian Lemon]

But if I'm just going number two.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah. Huh.

[Damian Lemon]

Dragon Ball Z number two.

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, no, no.

[Andrew Schulz]

Naruto number three.

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, no. The animes don't count. Knows Atlanta, Breaking Bad. And after that, I don't know no.

[Fahim Anwar]

Breaking Bad above Atlanta. But it's a good list, though.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But it's because. But it's because I like. I don't like they're entertaining, but they like Breaking Bad and Sopranos both fall to me, like, under, like, crime stuff. I like Atlanta because of how, like, it didn't rely on, like, a criminal world or whatever. And it gets so crazy. It's a creative ass show.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, it is very creative.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I like. I love how that show is just very.

[Andrew Schulz]

I do not like Donald Glover standup, but he's a creative.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I never watched his stand up. I watched, like, the joke where he was talking about how they wanted him to be Spider Man.

[Akash Singh]

Okay.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And I was like, I don't really, but the man is a genius.

[Andrew Schulz]

He's a. Yeah, he's a brilliant creative mind, undeniably.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I like his music. He has a song called. What's that one song called? I'll think about it later. I'll send it to you.

[Akash Singh]

Okay.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It's a good song. Dedicated to you, your girl.

[Akash Singh]

Okay.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Go have a picnic or something.

[Akash Singh]

Okay.

[Andrew Schulz]

And you're dedicated to your girl?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, if I ever get a girl.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay, well, you're in love with somebody.

[Akash Singh]

I am.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I wouldn't say I'm in love. I'm crushing.

[Akash Singh]

Okay.

[Fahim Anwar]

Does she just not want a relationship right now or she doesn't think you're ready to settle down?

[Andrew Schulz]

He keeps emphasizing she. Like, he doesn't think it's a girl. Did you notice it? She know, like, he's almost, like, skeptical.

[Fahim Anwar]

You never know.

[Ralph Barbosa]

She knows I'm Christian on her.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, well, then what's the problem? Let's get her. Oh, I don't know, we could do this. Dude, I'm a great wingman. Call it right now.

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, I'm not gonna call it.

[Andrew Schulz]

Why not?

[Damian Lemon]

The most aggressive wingman in the world. Just come on. Get married tomorrow.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Come on.

[Andrew Schulz]

Have I ever wingman for you?

[Damian Lemon]

No, but it's just a very aggressive.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm good.

[Damian Lemon]

This guy's great. He's funny, big dick.

[Andrew Schulz]

Marry him tomorrow. Why not? Yeah, that is pretty much what it would be.

[Fahim Anwar]

It kind of works. That would work.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Thank. Thank you.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That would work.

[Andrew Schulz]

Thank you.

[Damian Lemon]

Don't let him weaponize his therapy against you, all right? He does it to me all the time. It's annoying. Hey, you're actually.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You're the.

[Damian Lemon]

The guy in the chair. You end the show whenever the you want. You look into the camera, you say.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You want to promote anything. Before I sign off.

[Andrew Schulz]

I launched my own podcast. I know it's a big commitment, but I'm actually doing. It's called the ay if you guys want to check it out. Also, next week, I'm going to be. Well, when this comes out, I'm going to be out. Out of the country. I'm taking a vacation with my mom.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, nice.

[Andrew Schulz]

Taking my mom on vacation. Yeah, vacation. Turkey and Caicos.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Turks and Caicos.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Drake ruined that.

[Andrew Schulz]

Hey, I would love for some black dudes hit on my mom. If any black dude see my mom and want to hit on her, she got fat tits. She'd probably be very flattered.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You're going to scare them away. You're going to scare a good man away from your mom.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm going to scare a black dude away. I don't think that's happening.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You are. You're going to weird. You're going to weird out a black dude.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's fine.

[Ralph Barbosa]

He's going to be like, no, ma', am, if you raise this guy.

[Akash Singh]

That.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm okay with that.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Anyway, everybody, that's been our show for today. Make sure you check out Planet Bosa on Hulu. Also check out Formula Bean, where we're doing stupid all the time.

[Andrew Schulz]

He was supposed to plug that an hour and a half ago.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Supposed to plug that way earlier in the podcast. But also check out my buddy Jaime on the Fat Fish podcast.

[Andrew Schulz]

And Ralph will be honest sometimes.

[Akash Singh]

Yeah.

[Damian Lemon]

And on this one, everyone's fine every three years.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'll be back in three years to host again.

[Andrew Schulz]

2028. Can't wait.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Watch Street Fight.