The Akaash Singh Situation Just Got Worse

Summary

Podcast Summary: Flagrant with Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh

Episode: The Akaash Singh Situation Just Got Worse
Date: December 3, 2025

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Overview & Main Theme

This lively episode of Flagrant is a response to the recent whirlwind of online drama and memes surrounding co-host Akaash Singh and his wife Jasleen Singh (aka “Jaslene”). With the help of co-hosts Andrew Schulz, AlexxMedia, and Mark Gagnon—and Jasleen herself—the group addresses internet rumors, viral TikToks, and relationship memes, aiming to set the record straight about their marriage and personalities. The episode blends signature Flagrant humor, hot takes, and candid relationship talk with the show’s trademark irreverence.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. “The Akaash Files”: Relationship Under Internet Microscope

• Opening Skit & Tone (00:00): Andrew Schulz frames the episode as a theatrical “exposé,” poking fun at the internet drama and Akaash’s supposed downfall.
• Jasleen Joins the Chaos (00:41): Jasleen is brought on with tongue-in-cheek ‘security’ and jokes about her being out for vengeance after online battering.

Viral Internet Rumors and Memes

• Roster, Frat Parties, and Hookups (01:25–04:17): Jasleen, with encouragement and ribbing from the crew, clarifies rumors about having a “roster” in college, explaining her repressed upbringing and the innocent reality behind “hooking up.”

  • Quote – Jasleen:
    “I was a repressed Indian girl...I didn’t even watch Jersey Shore in high school because I felt it to be too inappropriate. So when I got to college, I’m like, ‘Oh my god, I can dress however I want.’” (03:49)
  • The term “popping pussy” is humorously clarified, with generational and racial differences in understanding on full display.

• Gold-Digger Narrative (06:42–08:43): Jasleen jokes about “investing low and waiting it to go high” regarding Akaash’s early career days, laughing off suggestions that she’s a gold-digger.

  • Quote – Jasleen:
    “I invested low and waited for it to go high.” (07:12)

Their Real Relationship Backstory

• Early Hard Times (07:44–10:42):
  • The couple details genuine financial struggles—including Jasleen’s early jobs and periods of sleeping on the floor in New York—countering the “gold-digger” meme.
  • Quote – Jasleen:
    “As soon as I met you, it was love at first sight. God picked this person for me, and everything he did—from top to bottom, his character, his integrity...I just loved everything about him.” (09:39)

Viral Kissing Videos and Cultural Context

• Duck the Kiss (11:20–14:46): The viral TikToks showing Jasleen dodging Akaash’s kisses are discussed at length, with the couple opening up about cultural differences, public displays of affection, and Internet perceptions.
  • Quote – Schulz:
    “I would watch the videos and...I would die laughing. Cause they edited it so perfectly where he’s going in and then just—[ducks].” (11:31)
  • Quote – Jasleen:
    “Maybe it’s the repressed Indian girl thing...I get a little shy. Despite what the Internet thinks. I also get overstimulated because Akash does it a lot.” (12:22)

Addressing Further Perceptions & Misunderstandings

• Orgy Jokes & “Innocence” (18:58–22:29): The crew delves into a meme about Jasleen proposing group activities. She clarifies the joke was born out of their unique humor and innocence in their sexual histories.

  • Quote – Akaash:
    “If she had a body count, I would have been, like, hey, cut...” (20:36)
  • Quote – Jasleen:
    “I've learned so much of my humor from Akash...the Internet doesn’t know all these multi-dimensions.” (20:00)

• Hand Job Debate & Outsourcing Labor (22:02–24:41): Hilarious banter about whether Jasleen would be okay with a “massage with a happy ending” and how outsourcing is “very Indian” (24:41).

  • Quote – Jasleen:
    “It’s less work for me.” (22:09)
  • Quote – Schulz:
    “If there’s one people on the planet that understands the value of outsourcing, it should be Indian.” (24:41)
  • Extended jokes follow about finding the right “skillful” masseuse, maintaining Flagrant’s signature irreverence.

The Internet, Memes, and Their Real Impact

• PR Stunt Accusations (37:17): The idea that the entire saga is a “publicity stunt” to drive ticket sales is laughed off.

  • Quote – Akaash:
    “I wish I cared that little about my wife’s reputation.” (37:36)

• Family, Therapist, and Generational Reflection (49:01): Jasleen shares a heartfelt reflection on how marrying Akaash feels like living her mother’s American dream, and how their marriage differs from their parents’ arranged situations.

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Notable Quotes & Moments by Timestamp

• [06:12] Akaash: “She calls him a Popeyes chicken sandwich.”
• [09:11] Jasleen: “The real answer? As soon as I met you, it was love at first sight...God picked this person out for me.”
• [14:35] Mark: “Will you kiss Akash right now?” [They kiss, breaking the viral ‘duck’ narrative]
• [21:53] Akaash: “She’s a yapping little dog behind a fence. Nothing’s gonna happen. All bark, no bite.”
• [31:00] Jasleen: “I would just order Buffalo chicken wraps every day for dinner.”
• [41:02] Jasleen: (On awkward Tinder encounter) “I stupidly was like, oh, you can sleep over. But...I was just making bad decisions all around.”

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Tackling the "Dermatologist Video" & Internet Perceptions

• The Context (43:00–46:51): Jasleen corrects rumors about “flashing” her dermatologist, explaining it was an innocent bruise from Pilates, not sexual.

  • Quote – Jasleen:
    “I showed the bruise, not like...my full ass...And then, me being stupid, because I want to go on double dates, I’m like, oh, he’s single...the whole thing was taken out of context.” (45:42)

• Innocence vs. Absurdity (46:51–48:54): Schulz argues that due to their genuine innocence, others interpret their jokes as real; both Akash and Jasleen discuss insecurity and trust.

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Family, Upbringing, and Love

• [48:51] Schulz: “Is it cool to experience love? Is it what you think of when you see in movies?”

  • Jasleen reflects on her immigrant mother’s hardships and how she’s now living a “glamorous life” with Akaash, whereas her mother never had such happiness.

• [50:36] Akaash: “Being broke with your girl and not being able to buy her anything is so fucking emasculating that when we started making a little bit, we saved for years.”

• [51:54] Jasleen: Dispels the rumor they broke up for years: “We took a break for like a month or two. That’s it.”

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The Comedy & Heart of the Segment

The crew go back and forth riffing on handjobs, outsourcing (cleaners vs. masseuses), and the mechanics of relationships. Signature Flagrant bits—like the “poop your pants on stage” anecdote, holiday movie rankings, and fake legal cross-examinations—keep the episode hilarious and high energy throughout.

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Reflections on Internet Culture and Recap

• The group muses on how “relatable” their relationship drama is—that’s why it went viral. Schulz and co. stress that online perceptions are more about viewers’ projections than truth.

  • Quote – Schulz:
    “Sometimes the reaction they have...They’re just reflecting what they would be like in a relationship and going, ‘Oh, I would feel insecure,’...” (52:46)
  • Quote – Akaash:
    “No, optically it makes sense she’d be a gold digger. She’s much hotter than me.” (51:29)

• At the close, they thank fans for 2 million YouTube subs and reflect on the journey of public-facing comedy/life (69:22).

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Memorable Moments & Laughter

• The “kiss on-cam” to break the TikTok narrative (14:35)
• Akaash joking he’s betting on their marriage surviving till 2027 (53:06)
• The “red dot table talk” and “Jiz Leine” meme round-up (38:46–39:01)
• Andrew’s story about nearly pooping himself on stage (61:12)
• Extended and riotous riffing on bidets, massages, and handjobs (56:16–59:58)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00 – Satirical intro, Jasleen’s entrance
• 01:25 – Rumors, “roster” debate
• 06:42 – Gold digger/goldmine investing jokes
• 09:39 – Love at first sight, real relationship talk
• 11:20 – Kiss-dodging TikTok explained
• 14:35 – The on-camera kiss to “prove” their love
• 18:58 – Orgy jokes and “innocence” context
• 22:02 – Hand job outsourcing debate
• 24:41 – The value of outsourcing (cleaners, etc.)
• 31:00 – Buffalo chicken wrap myth, “Popeyes” joke
• 37:17 – Addressing “PR stunt” allegations
• 41:02 – Jasleen’s awkward San Francisco Tinder encounter
• 43:07 – “Dermatologist video” explanation
• 46:51 – Innocence vs. internet perceptions
• 48:51 – Therapy, generational hardship, “living the American dream”
• 51:54 – Debunking breakup rumor
• 52:46 – Reflection on projection & online relationships
• 61:12 – Andrew’s public fart story
• 66:03 – Thanksgiving, internet vs. real life reactions
• 69:22 – Thanking fans for 2 million subscribers

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Conclusion

This episode stands as both a comedic therapy session and a real-time PR clean-up for Akaash and Jasleen. They combine raw honesty, cultural context, and unfiltered humor to demystify the internet’s meme fodder, showing the real people behind the rumors. Despite the abrasive comedy and raucous bits, the loving, trusting core of their relationship shines through—making for one of Flagrant’s most memorable and revealing episodes.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[A]

Tonight on flagrant. The truth will be revealed. Marriages will be shattered, friendships destroyed. Nothing will be the same again. Our guest, once a beloved comedian, has spent the last couple weeks being destroyed, disrespected. He's been dragged through the mud and he couldn't even take out that tiny little of his and stuff it inside for his own pleasure. Give it up for our friend here to tell his side of the story, Akash Singh.

[B]

Hey, brother.

[A]

Brother. Thank you so much for being here.

[C]

Thank you for having me.

[A]

You can't imagine what you've been going through the last few weeks. Tell us what's been on your mind, what's been on your heart.

[C]

I'm so glad you asked me, man. It's been. It's been really hard for me. For me.

[B]

Hard to hear. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Jacqueline Sing is in the building. She wants vengeance. Security is here. Security is stopping her. The Punjabi power. Oh, my God. She's abusing the security. Dirty. That's the bag. It's absolute pandemonium. And a has brought out a comicky large pair of scissors. He's cutting the bag together. Oh, my Lord. J Fly. This is a podcast, not a frat house. What are you doing?

Stay back.

[A]

Tonight on Flavors.

Let's just get right into it. Which frat party should my daughter avoid.

[B]

In the near future?

[A]

I have a two year old daughter. Which frat party should she not go to?

[D]

Shy should avoid void teak. Because they definitely.

[A]

They make you pop that thing.

[B]

Crazy.

[D]

Spike the drink.

[A]

No way.

[D]

Yeah. So they got kicked off of our campus.

[E]

No way.

[A]

Oh, my Lord.

[F]

Popping.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

Let's just get some definition.

[A]

We're going to any terms that you might need to know the actual meaning of. Alex is here to break it down.

[D]

I thought it was just like dancing, getting dressed up and maybe that was my mistake.

Acknowledge that.

[E]

Look at this big one.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

The act of getting dressed up, looking fly as hell, wearing a minimum of 3 inch heels, preferably higher, and dancing your ass off. Urban Dictionary three hours of the morning. That was what I was doing.

[A]

Yeah. This is white people's definition of it. This is what you learn. Don't go to Earth. Guys. What do you think popping pussy is?

You see.

Joey Kersain is not that okay. They're doing more than security.

[D]

My bad. That was my bad.

[E]

That was.

[A]

That was your bad.

[C]

The real Urban Dictionary.

[A]

Give me a call every time, anytime you're worried about anything like that.

[E]

Yeah, that's what I thought.

[B]

As a white.

[E]

I thought pop and Posey was just dancing. I thought it was like, twerking.

[B]

That's what I thought.

[A]

Well, I knew that that's what you meant.

[D]

Yes, that's what I meant.

[A]

But, like, once the Internet makes you a. Yeah, they're looking at. Joe, Joe, Joe.

[F]

We're done.

[B]

That's my wife.

[C]

For the time being.

[B]

That's my wife. What's going on?

[A]

We have a calcium market, by the way. We're in. There's a Kelshi market that's been made. Will Akash and jaslene Divorce before 2027. I just want to point that out.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

2027.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

You guys, we have, like, a long way.

[C]

Yeah, we got a good one.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

We're trying to rebrand you right now, Jaslene.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

I gotta wait that long.

[E]

Can we get some other definitions out of the way? Yeah, let's get some other definitions.

[A]

Yeah, allegedly.

[E]

And you can correct me if I'm wrong here. Is it true that you said that there was a rotation of guys, A roster?

[F]

Roster?

[A]

Yeah. What is a roster?

[B]

This is mean.

[D]

You guys have to understand. Have you ever heard of the repressed Catholic schoolgirl?

[A]

Never.

[D]

I was.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, so his Catholic school was in his living room. Imagine how repressed he was.

[D]

I was a repressed Indian girl that I didn't even watch Jersey Shore in high school because I felt it to be too inappropriate. So when I got to college, I'm like, oh, my God, I can dress however I want. I can do whatever I want.

[A]

You can have a roster of crap boys.

[C]

What does a roster mean?

[D]

So it didn't actually translate to a roster. It just meant, like, two guys I was talking to and flirting with at the same time.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

That's all.

[C]

And when you say hooking up, I think people can.

[D]

When I mean hooking up, I just meant making out again. Like, everything I say is so amplified and hyperbolic because it's so, like, incongruous to who I'm actually. Who I actually am as a person.

[A]

Right, right. So you are. You're saying you're a big old prude.

[D]

Yeah, literally.

[A]

Now, I will be honest. As much as I was heartbroken by what was going on with you guys and definitely with, you know, Akash, my brother, there was a little part of me that was like, it would be hilarious to come in here and find out you had a huge roster, was lying about being a virgin this whole time. It would have been heartbreaking for you.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

You know, you waited your whole life to share your virginity With a girl and she threw it to some frat house 20 years ago. A white dude.

[B]

A white guy. A fucking white guy.

[A]

Got that shit.

[B]

Got that shit.

[A]

Don't slap five There.

[B]

That's bad.

[A]

Okay. Okay. So no real roster.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Because what a roster is. What is a roster, Al?

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

What's a roster?

[A]

What was a roster?

[C]

What was dictionary? Indian dictionary.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Turbulence.

Okay. Al. What is a roster, Al?

[F]

So a roster who has a rotation of partners.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

That you would. They would pop their pussy for me.

[D]

No.

[B]

Okay.

[F]

That what a roster would do. I didn't mean, like, women on my roster would be popping their pussy.

[G]

Oh.

[A]

I don't even like you saying that word. Saying it, like, to her, like. Yeah.

[E]

And he feels uncomfortable.

[A]

With all due respect. With all due respect.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

This is a good lesson.

[D]

This is a good lesson. Okay. That's not.

[C]

Remember the black substitute teacher in Key and Peele? That's that right. Now he's really explaining things to you.

[A]

Any other questions about the world that you have?

[D]

No.

[E]

Also, why Buffalo chicken wraps every day?

[B]

Me?

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

How do you know that?

[A]

You posted it on the Internet. Wait, I don't know this one. Is that what you call the black guys?

[B]

No, no, I.

[A]

Sorry, guys. Sorry, gu. Guys. Okay.

[C]

She calls him a Popeyes chicken sandwich.

[A]

Okay, wait, tell us, what is the Buffalo chicken wraps?

[D]

No, it's just, literally, I would just order Buffalo chicken wraps every day for dinner.

[A]

That's it.

[D]

I think where the confusion was is like, I was just talking about this nostalgia for being in college when it's like you're still a child, but it feels like you're in the adult world and like, you're so insulated and you're in this bubble and like, everything's just so simple and easy and that's more what I was talking about.

[C]

Now everybody thinks you're a gold digging whore.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That is. There's a lot.

[D]

Reaching out to please Kirk.

[A]

You're a professional here. You're doing security. Okay. We cannot laugh at him calling his own wife a gold digging whore. Okay. Okay.

[C]

She told me to shut up. It's even. That is fair.

[A]

That is fair. Okay. Also, like, in terms of the gold digging.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, serious. Do you.

[B]

Do you.

[A]

Do you consider yourself a good gold digger?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Because I invested low and waited for it to go high.

[E]

You're a gold digger prospect.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's not a gold digger exactly. Yeah, you're like a. What is that? You're like a hedge fund manager. Yeah.

[E]

You're like AKASH of bitcoin.

[A]

Exactly.

[C]

And it's like she bought much lower than I did. She bought at the bottom. She could not have bought.

[A]

That is something that.

[D]

To be fair, it's like I was working too in the beginning.

[A]

What were you doing?

[D]

I was. I worked at.

[B]

I.

[D]

When we met, I worked at Goldman Sachs. I got a job at Deloitte. After I graduated college, I was a.

[C]

Consultant, sleeping in until 12am 12pm You're.

[A]

A gold digger, right? You got this girl sleeping on the ground.

[C]

Yeah, I know. This whole thing backfired.

[A]

I used to really believe that you guys were poor with his sob stories so we could get Patreon going. I didn't know you're working at a fucking hedge fund. This whole time he was spending your money.

[D]

Well, I wasn't making that much. I was making like 70 grand a year in New York City on two people.

[A]

But that's good though.

[D]

Yeah, it wasn't bad.

[A]

Okay, so then when did you guys get really broke and why did you stay with him?

[D]

2018. Okay, do you want the real answer or the funny answer?

[A]

I want to know the real answer. And like, I want to know that because I heard this beautiful story that Aakash told about you guys sleeping on the floor and then like him wanting to give you his North Face or something. And then you gave it back because you're like, it's not Mew Mew.

I'm not sleeping in Norfex. You saved your money and gave me meow mew. Now sleep on the floor with.

[E]

Since 2009.

[A]

No, but you guys are sleeping on the floor because you were evicted from your apartment. You were moving to New Jersey, right?

[C]

This is real, basically.

[A]

And you still want to stay with him?

[D]

Yeah. I mean, why?

[C]

Yeah.

I never actually asked why.

[A]

No, you know why, bro. Come on.

[C]

Oh yeah.

[A]

Got that muffin top?

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

You got that loud it?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay, the real answer.

[E]

What is loud is dick smells.

[A]

Oh, that dick. Cuz once you. Yo, guys, guys. You guys are professional security. Come on. You didn't make sure. Okay, no, but for real, you got a stink dick husband sleeping on the floor like, like, what's wrong with you, man? Like you're supposed to be a gold digging. According to the Internet.

[B]

That's what I'm saying.

[D]

There was like so many red flags early on.

[C]

But why you stay? That's okay.

[D]

I. Because I felt like as soon as I met you, it was love at first sight. I loved you. Like, I don't know, I just felt like. And maybe like you Feel like that when you guys met your wives or your fiance, it's like you just like know when you have that special connection. It's like, okay, like God picked this person out for me and like everything he did from top to bottom, like his character, his integrity, his personality, like, I just like loved everything about it. So I was like, okay, like, I don't want to just leave because we're going through a hard time. Because I really believed in like his potential. Like, just like you did, for sure. You know, because obviously you were more successful than Akash in the very beginning and stuff. And now you guys. Yeah, whatever.

[A]

I also believe that he was incredibly brilliant and talented, but also just an amazing soul and an incredible person.

[D]

Exactly. But I just know I also knew that about him, that he had like ambition and this work ethic. So I was like, okay, like, yeah, so we're going to go through this bumpy time. But I was like praying harder than I ever prayed. Just that we would get out of it and like something would resolve it. I was just hoping that.

[A]

And it worked. Those prayers worked.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And you haven't prayed for his balls to change?

[D]

I never prayed for that.

[A]

It just shows me that you might like it. It's like Vegemite for Australia.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

It's an acquired taste. Women are bigger than pheromones.

[A]

There is a way that. That just kept you in it.

[E]

Carnal smell.

[B]

What?

[C]

Why did I say carnival smell?

Why are you doing that to me?

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

What is that?

[E]

Carnival smell would be better. It'd be like funnel cake.

[B]

It'd be nice.

[A]

Okay. The other thing that we saw these videos of was the ducking, the kisses. That was.

[E]

Listen, these ones pissed me off.

[D]

That's what I'm guilty of. I'm guilty of.

[E]

These ones pissed me off and I didn't like it one bit. And I need you to explain yourself immediately.

[D]

Yeah, okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

We need to know, honestly.

[A]

Also, can I just say that I would watch the videos and I would dial them as a friend who loves him, I would die laughing. Cause they did it. They edited so perfectly where like he's going in and then just.

But he's already got his lips pursed, so he gotta commit to the kiss.

[F]

Yeah, we gotta check out the shifty edit right there.

[A]

That might have been shifty. Shifty might have been edited. Shifty made it Shifty shift. Anyway, those pissed me off. So tell us about the duck. Do you always duck his kisses when there are not people around?

[D]

No, not when there aren't people around. Just when there are people around. And I never even knew. Of course I never.

I didn't explain yourself. That was why I didn't know that I did that. So I really sat and thought about it. So I think it's a few things. I think it's like.

[A]

You really sat and thought about it.

[D]

Yeah, because I was like, okay, maybe it's like the repressed Indian girl thing where it's like I get a little bashful. I do get a little shy. Despite what the Internet thinks most Indians do.

[C]

I'm the exception.

[D]

I think I also get overstimulated because Akash does it a lot. Like every 30 seconds, like a little change.

[B]

I get it.

[C]

Honestly, I get it. That's why I grabbed your chin, so.

[A]

You couldn't move my face though.

Whose mic? Mine. Oh, sorry. Okay.

[E]

Yeah, I suck that off you.

[A]

Okay, so it is a little bit overstimulating for you.

[D]

Yeah, it like regulates him, but it kind of overstimulates me. Look, like the videos people have seen are like the proposal videos. They're like already overstimulating.

[A]

Okay, so here's the thing that I think is like, very relate. I think the relatable thing is not wanting to make out with your partner in front of your entire family.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

But most people just do it because they're like, I don't want my partner to feel embarrassed in this moment even though they're like, ugh. And you're just like, you just feel the ugh.

But I do think it is. I do think it's relatable though, to have that sensation of like, I don't want to be intimate around my like, like brother, sisters or mom, dad.

[D]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

I think that is re. I think that's relatable to people.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

But most people just do it and then do a quick one. Like my wife will just give me like a quick smooch and then go back to doing something.

[D]

Our parents kissing ever. So it's like so foreign to us.

[A]

This is an. This is an interesting thing that a lot of the Internet might not understand. But it's like your family, your parents were not like romantically in love at all. And would you say yours?

[C]

You could cut romantically.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

Were they both arranged? Were the marriages both? And sometimes arranged marriage. It's a freak off. They love all the time.

[C]

Yeah, probably.

[F]

Probably.

[C]

But they don't show us even if they don't see it.

[A]

Exactly.

[E]

Thank God.

[A]

Yeah. You can't show that to children.

[C]

Yeah, our kids Are going to see it.

[A]

They're going to see it.

[C]

Now especially the Internet has shamed her into not ducking, so.

[A]

Oh, now she got no excuse.

[D]

That's true.

[C]

Me one.

[E]

There we go.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

She too.

[E]

Well, can we settle something for the Internet?

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Will you kiss Akash right now?

[A]

Oh, I don't even know if I.

[E]

Want to see it on my lips.

[A]

Okay. Prove everybody.

[D]

But it's gonna mess my lips.

[C]

Bring that ass over here.

[A]

Bring that ass over here.

[B]

Oh, my God. He does got it. He does. How's it feel? How's it feel? How's it feel?

My dick.

[A]

My dude right there.

[C]

It was overstimulating. It was overstimulating.

[A]

Cross his leg. Shows or show I've won on the books. There's one single one. Guys, we back March 28, 2026. Providence, Rhode Island. Okay. It's part of the Rhode Island Comedy Festival. We'll be out there. We will see you guys for a very special night. Again, this is the only date that is on the books. Yes. I might be popping into these comedy clubs in New York City. Yes. The rumors are true. I might be up in there and out of there.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

But as far as the road goes, this is the one that we have booked. I'll see you guys. Providence, Rhode Island, March 28, 2026. That's all.

[C]

Also, guys, we're adding shows all over the place. Thank you guys for helping me support my gold digging wife. We have a fifth theater show in Toronto that we are adding. Thank y' all so much. That's fucking incredible. Sixth show in Irvine that we're adding this Sunday. We also announced Radio City. Oh, we're also adding a show. There's a casino day. Foxwoods Casino, January 24, the day after the Wilbur. I'm excited. That's going to be in Mashantucket, Connecticut. All those dates and a bunch more. Akashing.com radio city still got tickets left. Go cop those. I love y'.

[B]

All.

[C]

Thank you so much.

[E]

Hello, people. My name is Mark. I'm going to be on the road. I'm going to Fort Wayne, Indiana. I'm also going to Chicago, Hoboken, New Jersey, Salt Lake City, Washington, D.C. to be announced and Charlotte. And then of course we're doing our show every month in New York City at Mary Lou. We're doing it on December 16th. It's a great time and I will see you.

[C]

Why does it say Washington, D.C. to be announced? This is TBC.

[E]

Yeah, we got to get the ticket link. It's, you know, we're adding shows. Probably they're going to be sold out. It's going to be a big theater, maybe an arena. I don't know. We got to talk about.

[C]

You're announcing dates with no link.

[E]

Yeah, we got to see the. Yeah, just. You got to keep the people waiting or wanting.

[B]

What is it?

[C]

Yeah, I'm just curious.

[E]

Always leave them wanting more. Right? So whenever we add this arena. I'll see you guys at the show. God bless you all and good evening.

[F]

Night. You didn't expect to see me here, but I too have an announcement. I'm launching my new show AM Mornings. We're live every Sunday at 11 Eastern. It's called. It's a call in show where we discuss the biggest topics. What are you doing to me?

[B]

I'm kidding.

[E]

I'm supporting him.

[A]

They're doing little signals.

[E]

No one's doing anything. Just keep going off the dome.

[F]

It's a call in show where we discuss the biggest topics of the week.

[C]

Join us and have your say.

[E]

Here's the catch.

[A]

There's no anonymous trolling, no hiding behind an anime avatar.

[C]

If you got something to say, you better show your face. Every Sunday at 11am Eastern.

[B]

Peace.

[A]

Limu Emu and Doug. Here we have the limu emu in its natural habitat helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

[C]

Uh, Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us?

[A]

Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty.

[B]

Liberty. Liberty.

[A]

Liberty Savings Fairy unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance company and affiliates excludes Massachusetts. Oh, my God. Okay, that was heartbreaking for me. Now I'm feeling for Jesse. What an asshole, this guy. To humiliate his wife in front of millions and millions of people.

[D]

It was an act of this. But can I just say, there's so many tiktoks where I talk so positively about him.

[A]

Yeah, but why does that. Why? That doesn't go viral. Positively talking about people.

[D]

Yeah, but I was just saying I like found so many tiktoks where I was saying so many amazing, uplifting things, but they didn't grab onto that.

[A]

That will never. The Internet will never re.

[B]

Positivity.

[D]

Yeah, that's true.

[C]

Lesson learned.

[A]

Unless it's. Well, that is. That is the tricky thing. But it is. It is a weird thing. It's like when you share your life, like as a couple publicly with the world, you know, and rough. You guys have like. You guys have like idiosyncrasies that are kind of different from a lot of couples, you know what I mean? Like, apparently, bro, the orgy thing was. That shit was crazy. I even watched it and I was like, so break us down.

[E]

I need an explanation.

[A]

Has the orgy happened?

[B]

Happened.

[D]

So.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

No, no, it happened.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

No, I still. Only one woman.

[A]

That's. That's what I thought was.

[B]

That's.

[A]

That's what I thought was missing in the whole orgy combo is that he also gets to get some side.

[C]

I could have doubled my body count.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now would you have let him get some side in this hypothetical orgy?

[B]

Of course.

[D]

Everyone should be included.

[F]

Nah. But Akos wants the dude.

[B]

The dude? Yeah.

[A]

You think he can handle all 10 inches of NAB? Then you can take NAB. Where is NAV taking it?

[C]

Come on, Nav.

[B]

Shorter than me.

[C]

Who taking it?

[E]

Nab.

[A]

The bottom is dick dragging on the carpet.

Collecting dust.

Shout out, Nav, bro. Shout out Nav, you fucking homewrecker.

Okay, what the fuck was that joke? Because I think for a lot of people, myself included, like, I saw that and I was like, why would she even joke around about that?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

With Akash there. And like, what was the.

[D]

No, I.

[A]

What was the backstory?

[D]

Well, looking back, like, it's pointed out to me and I get that. I feel like for us, I think I learned so much of my humor from Akash. Not to like, justify it, but just to explain, like, oh, if I say these absurd things, it's so funny because it's not who I actually am. But I kind of forgot that, like, the Internet doesn't know all these multi dimensions of my personality. So they're just seeing this one thing. So the orgy joke started with, like, Akash being like, oh, Nav's really hot. Like, Nav would. Akash would show Nav's picture to his trainer or whatever. Cause he's like, really, like. Yeah. Ripped or whatever.

[C]

I will say also, if she had a body count, I would have been like, hey, cut, cut. But because she doesn't. And I know how, like, innocent she actually is.

[A]

Oh, you are a virgin. That's real.

[D]

I wasn't a virgin until I met him.

[A]

Yeah. Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

All right.

[E]

Good to know.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And if she wasn't, that body count thing, I'd have been like, what are we doing here? Because I would have been insecure about it. But I. I can be. Not that I'm so secure, but. But with that joke, I'm like, so secure.

[A]

Oh, I absolutely would feel Insecure.

[D]

And I think, stupidly, I was like, oh, it's an orgy. So it's all of us. It's not like, yeah, that is stupid.

[B]

Yeah.

I see.

[A]

You're being inclusive. You're being inclusive. It's not a roti.

[D]

It's not a cocktail.

[A]

No, we're not doing this.

[C]

That is stupid. Don't let me get other pussy.

[D]

One of our fans asked us, would you guys have an orgy? So I just said, oh, I'm actively trying, like, as a. Because I just feel like.

[A]

Can I give you a piece of advice?

[D]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

If you clearly see that I'm the one commenting those things, answer it. On the podcast, Andrew shows.

You don't have to react to that in real time.

[E]

Yesterday he was like, so annoying. This whole orgy thing. Like, I can't even cheat without her being there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's crazy, dude.

[C]

Too much quality time. Let's do something separately, you know what I mean?

[D]

But how. How come you can have a joke about outsourcing hand jobs and blow jobs.

[A]

But aren't you cool with the hand jobs?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're cool with him just getting a hand job massage?

[D]

Totally.

[A]

Are. You act.

[F]

Yeah, I know.

[D]

Yes, I've said that. It's less work for me.

[C]

I don't listen.

[F]

Can you talk to our wives?

[A]

Although I tell you why.

[C]

I don't believe you made her horrible decisions. You guys were like, dude, I think your girl will be down. She keeps saying how pretty Weezy is. And I was like. Even then, I was like, no, the fuck. She's all talk. She's all blush. That's why I haven't tested the hand job yet.

[D]

Paper tiger.

[C]

She's a. She's a. Yeah, she's our dog. She's a yapping little dog behind a fence. Nothing's gonna happen.

[A]

There's no bite.

[C]

All bark, no bite.

[A]

So you would say that, but in reality, if he actually did. Go get it. Okay.

[D]

Like, let me think about it. If you actually think about it, go get it. Yeah, it's like, I think it would bother me, like, 30%, but I feel like 70%. I'd be like, okay, whatever. I put you through a lot the past couple weeks.

[A]

Like, he deserves it.

[C]

I do.

[D]

I feel like I owe it to you.

[C]

I do kind of deserve it.

[B]

Yes.

[E]

And we're going to be supporting.

[A]

Her.

Wait, she can't be prettier than you.

[D]

Yeah. She just can't be pretty.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, yeah, that's not going to. Yeah. Unless you go.

[C]

It's not going to happen.

[A]

Yeah, it's going to be an old Chinese lady. My.

[C]

Also, my justification for the hand job is it's emotionless and it's a. It's a.

[D]

It's just like a little thing after a massage.

[B]

Sure.

[D]

Okay. Yeah.

[C]

That's great. I mean, I'm on board.

[A]

I also like the fact that you're. It's just less work for you.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And I know your day is full of.

[E]

Well, let's get a counter argument. Let's get a counter argument because I think that was inappropriate and that was uncalled for. So will you go ahead and dismiss this and explain yourself on the record?

[D]

I do things.

[E]

All right, look, my client in this.

[A]

Case, that's not what she. Can you be Jesselyn's lawyer in this moment?

[E]

Jaslene cooks, she cleans, she maintains your home on a monthly basis. Is that true?

[D]

Yes.

[C]

There you go.

[D]

Not by me specifically, but yes.

[E]

Yes. And you also will find people you schedule.

[A]

But not you. You schedule someone. Gotta manage the house.

[D]

We all have cleaning people.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Yes. I like how you call them cleaning people. That was very clinically correct.

[C]

That was.

[A]

That was.

[D]

But do I not take care of Happy like he's my son or.

[C]

Course. And I go on the road, I come back, it's clean. I don't know if you hire somebody or if that's you, but every time I come back it's clean, I hire someone.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Really without me knowing.

[C]

Now I feel betrayed.

[A]

I thought you did something.

[E]

Everyone's hiring people. You know what I mean. Hand jobs, cleaning, it doesn't matter. Everyone's got something.

[A]

Outsourcing works. If there's one people on the planet that understands the value of outsourcing, it should be Indian.

[D]

This is exactly.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, what else? What else was like super.

[E]

More.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

What else is part of. Oh, they called it the Akash files. Yes.

[B]

They.

[C]

They could release the Akash files equivalent to Epstein.

[A]

Let's think.

[E]

Let's think about it. I'm glad you asked.

[A]

You're the victim. You were the girl. That's what I'm saying.

[C]

It's the Epstein files, isn't it?

[A]

Yeah. But you're the girls.

[D]

I know.

[B]

She's Epstein.

[E]

Yes. The Epsilon files.

[A]

The Epsilon files.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. What else? What else was there?

[E]

Tell me something.

[A]

Yes.

[E]

Because it's been bothering me.

[B]

I love that.

[A]

This is so good with the glasses. Great character work. I'm sorry to break it.

[E]

Thank you.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Silence. Tell me something. When Aakash is sick, how do you behave?

[B]

Ooh.

[C]

She'S good, actually.

[D]

I am good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

My wife is horrible.

[C]

There's an undertone of irritation after, like, day two where you can tell she's like, all right.

[A]

I mean, you get two days.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Can I just say, I feel like you guys are a little bit.

[B]

Bit.

[D]

Like, you guys exaggerate a lot and just.

[A]

What?

[E]

No.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And for context, we exaggerate.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Ridiculous.

[B]

Literally.

[E]

Oh, you think everything's wrestling? Do you think that's.

[A]

Everything's a joke?

[E]

You think we're just going crazy?

[A]

No, we're not taking any chances here. Do you see our security? We know what the fuck you're capable of. Justleen.

[D]

But, like, for me, like, an hour before my emergency gallbladder surgery, my stomach was killing me. And remember, I had to interview Blau for journalism school, and I still interviewed him because I didn't want to reschedule. So I feel like women are just built different. We're built to withstand suffering.

[A]

Yes, you are. That is true.

[C]

We're built to withstand y'.

[B]

All. Yes.

[A]

That is our suffering. That is a great point.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We have different types of suffering. Physical pain, you guys are much better at handling.

[C]

But, yeah, if you heard how often we have to hear, babe, it's very different.

[A]

That's my. Did I tell you all this? That, like, my wife asked me to do something before I got into the apartment? She heard the elevator going up before I typed in the code in the elevator. I heard, andrew, can you. And I just. I. I pushed one and went right back downstairs. I'm not doing free falls. I'm not doing this right now. Let me get into the house before you tell me what to do.

[E]

Look, this isn't the Schultz files.

[A]

Okay, yeah, sorry, sorry. Go, go, go, go.

[E]

I sense that you're avoiding the question.

[B]

Yeah. Ooh.

[E]

Is it true that on August 18, 2025.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

I don't know. I made that data. You said that when Aakash is sick, you hate taking care of him.

[D]

Yeah. I mean, do I like it? No.

[B]

I like to.

[D]

But why would anyone like taking care of a sick person?

[A]

That's a good point.

[D]

Like, I'm just being honest, and maybe it is a use of autism.

[E]

Don't let her pull you in.

[A]

No, she's. This makes you. I don't know why anybody would do that. You. Nurses, doctors. Doctors.

[E]

They're compensated.

[A]

Yeah, that is, actually. They're getting paid for it.

[C]

Handsomely.

[E]

Handsomely.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But if somebody's happy about it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Sometimes you need enough nurses you're like, yeah, they are pretty pissed off.

[B]

Y' all enjoy it.

[C]

Y' all don't enjoy this.

[A]

Yeah. It is one of those things. You just gotta fake it. It's like kissing your husband in public. You just gotta fucking fake it and be like, I love doing this. I love nurturing you back to health. That's what I want. Okay. And then you get the big reward out afterwards. Okay.

[D]

It's like when Akash's birthday comes around, I have to pretend that it's like so special.

[C]

But I don't even ask for this.

[D]

The one day.

[B]

Yeah, you do.

[D]

The one day of the year that I have to like, be totally selfless.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

That.

[D]

Which is really hard for me.

[A]

Jlene, you're doing a horrible job right now. Justine. Just when we think we've gotten you out of it.

[D]

Take that part out.

[B]

Go back in.

[A]

Okay. You dig the hole deeper. Okay. His birthday is a great day.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And we love his birthday.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Which day is it?

[G]

May.

[A]

Okay.

[F]

All right.

[B]

You passed.

[E]

You passed. A question for AKA Yes. These files leak.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

The Internet set ablaze. You quickly flee to India. International borders.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

You go to a different nation.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

Can you explain the impetus for this trip?

[C]

I was trying to get away from her, but she followed me.

[E]

She tracked you down.

[A]

So. Yeah.

[B]

Why did.

[A]

Why did you guys go to India?

[E]

So immediately happened there?

[C]

Unfortunately, we had planned the trip like two months earlier. India, Dubai with her mom. Thanksgiving with my mom. That's.

[B]

What.

[C]

Do they hang out with their moms? You know what I mean? What a horse thing to do. Convenience.

[D]

Okay, so you went a religious pilgrimage?

[C]

Yeah. You guys went on a religious temple?

[A]

Did they see you annihilate you in? They're like, not this brat house.

[B]

Not. I wouldn't.

[C]

You have to walk through water when you get there. They actually made her roll around in the water.

[A]

She's so failed to cleanse you.

[C]

Such a filthy person.

[E]

You're terrified.

[A]

Okay. So you go. Oh, is this the place?

[C]

It was actually.

[B]

Yeah. It was beautiful.

[A]

Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Yes. What is this place called?

[E]

The holiest site in the city.

[A]

It's called.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

In Punjabi they say the Barai or the golden temple. It's like. Cuz it's literally made out of gold.

[A]

Oh my God.

[C]

That's actually gold. You would actually really like it.

[A]

Mark would really like it. And this is in Punjab.

[C]

It set on fire as soon as he walked in.

[D]

Yeah. In Amritsar.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And then.

[C]

And I had never been. So we had planned this triple.

[A]

Look at this. Can anybody go in the water?

[D]

Yeah, like you do. Like.

[B]

Miles.

[A]

What the racist are you racist?

[E]

Has no room in this court.

[A]

That laugh right there was racism. And we know I didn't set up anything. I asked if you could go in the water. I didn't ask if we could wash a bowl.

[E]

That would be inappropriate.

[A]

That would be inappropriate.

[E]

I can't say that.

[A]

Why were you laughing at that? It's a lot of clean water in India. Wait, what do you mean? It's just one big plate.

[D]

That water is clean. You dig?

[A]

Crystal clear water. It's a lot of clean water in India. This guy is a real p. Do you see who your husband hangs out with every day?

[E]

Bad guy.

[A]

Bad guy.

[B]

Guys.

[A]

K what is going on back there?

[B]

Fellas?

[E]

Wow.

[A]

Hold it together. Hold it together. All right. All right, guys. Let's take a break for a second.

[B]

Man.

[A]

Acorn Acorns is a smart way to give your money a chance to grow. It's incredibly easy. You can sign up in minutes and start automatically investing, even if all you've got to invest is spare change. And Acorns grows with you. Whether you're just starting out or thinking about settling down, Acorns supports your big and small goals across every life stage.

[C]

That's what I love about this is a lot of people start thinking about money and investing when they have have it, but you should start thinking about it right away. And I think that's what this does.

[A]

Well, I wish I did that.

[B]

Same.

[A]

Yeah, same. The Acorn's potential screen shows the power of compounding and how your money could grow over time. Plus, you can quickly adjust how much you're investing every week or month to make sure you're building towards your goals. Okay, sign up now and join over 14 million all time customers who have already saved and invested over $27 billion with Acorns. Plus Acorns will boost your new account with a $20 bon investment offer is available at acorns.comflagrant that is a C-O-R-N-S.com flagrant to get your 20 bonus investment today. Terms and conditions apply. See acorns.com terms for details. Disclosure this is a paid non client endorsement competition. Provides incentive to positively promote Acorns tier 2 compensation provided potential subject to various factors such as customer accounts age and investment settings. Does not include Acorns fees slash results do not predict or represent the performance of any Acorn portfolio. Investment results will vary. Investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. You import [e-mail] Flake all right, guys, let's take a break for a second. All right. Favorite holiday movie? Alex, what's your favorite holiday movie?

[F]

Elf.

[A]

I was gonna say Elf.

[C]

Have you seen Home Alone? Home Alone. No.

[F]

Elf is better.

[A]

Before Christmas.

[E]

Before Christmas.

[A]

I like that. Love actually.

[E]

Great.

[C]

Love actually is great. The holiday. Have you seen the Holiday? It's a fun time.

[E]

Die Hard.

[C]

Die Hard is. I just watched it on the plane.

[A]

Awesome Christmas movie, guys. To make these holiday favorites, it takes a team of talented people. From actors, editors, props people to sound crew and. And when it comes to building such a team, whether it's for entertainment industry or a wide range of other industries, you need to hire the right people. The best way to do that is with ZipRecruiter. And right now you can try it for [e-mail] flagrant. How does ZipRecruiter help you round up the brightest team? Well, you can find out right away how many job seekers are in your area that are qualified for your role. With ZipRecruiter's advanced resume database, you can instantly unlock top candidates content, contact info. Okay, so just make your hiring a little merrier with ZipRecruiter. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Just go to this exclusive web address right now. Try ZipRecruiter for free. ZipRecruiter.com Flagrant. That's the web address again. That is ZipRecruiter.com FlagrAnt ZipRecruiter. The smartest way to hire. Now let's get back to the show.

[C]

Coca Cola for the big.

[A]

For the small, the short and the tall.

[C]

Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists for long distance love. For introverts and extroverts, the thinkers and the doers.

[A]

For old friends and new Coca Cola for everyone.

[C]

Pick up some Coca Cola at a store near you.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So you go to this temple. It's beautiful. You're able to pray. Is Akash fully converted to seeking? No, he's getting there though.

[B]

She.

[C]

She goes to the mother. Probably. She makes me go more than I make her go. She's like, we're going to the Golden Temple. Or we should go to Gurdwar. We should also go to the Mandar. And I. I'm kind of like, I'm tired, dude. Let's just do one.

[E]

But which one would you do?

[C]

I would do the mundar.

[D]

The mund over the gar. But you get free food at the.

[C]

G. We do get free food.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

You see the lung nose? You just did a video.

[A]

Yeah, we had the food at your wedding. That was great.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Well, the peanut butter stuff.

[A]

Yes. What was it?

[D]

Which part? Oh, the prashad. Yeah, it's brown sugar, ghee and flour, like mixed together.

[C]

She's actually made it non cooking.

[A]

Ass bitchad. You could make that gheema.

[D]

Which is.

[A]

Like pinjab meat, ground meat. You can't do it.

[E]

You can't say this. With all due respect, please.

[A]

You gotta say, with all due respect. I guess it's your wife.

[C]

What's on the Internet was right about everything. Golden, horrible woman.

[A]

Okay, so you can make all these things. You can make all these things.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So you're presenting this version of yourself online. That's not true.

[E]

But you're actually a trad wife.

[D]

I was committing to this bit because I thought that that was the funny thing to do. But I'm not a comedian.

[E]

Obviously, you're not fooling us.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right, all right. Let's rank Asian people. Okay. This is not.

Don't do it.

[C]

Yeah, don't do that.

[A]

Okay. Because we can't. Some of these questions she might answer and then she might get in trouble in a different way.

[E]

Can I ask you a question?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Black people.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

No, not that question.

[C]

I don't know if you remember this. So this is. But people always say like that Mondi's and stuff will say, she's just like my mom. And I'm realizing what you remember my mom, you ask her anything and she'll be like, no, I don't want to answer that. And then she'll answer, yeah. I'm realizing she does the exact same thing. Maybe that's why they get along so well. But if you ask these questions, she will answer.

[E]

That's inappropriate.

[A]

Your mom hit me up. Your mom hit me up. When you guys were going through it.

[C]

Oh yeah, dude. She was.

[D]

She told me. She's like, I did. Andrew.

I told him, my daughter in law is so nice.

[A]

She did. She's like so sweet.

[D]

I was like, oh, my God.

[A]

She's like, I promise she was a virgin.

[E]

I promise.

[A]

I was like, I'm not getting involved in this at all. She's like, I know, I can smell it. I was like, what is that? We held up the sheets.

[E]

This was pure.

[A]

But she was. She was working. She was working PR for you. I just want to let you know. But I never Doubted it. I never doubted it.

[C]

I'm gonna type a comment on the YouTube. She had it, sent it to me.

[B]

Long one.

[C]

Yeah, a long one. I was like, you don't need to do all this.

[A]

Yeah, that was probably the best.

[F]

What do you guys say? Some people say this is a whole PR stunt for you to sell tickets and for you to.

[A]

Who is that?

[D]

Rather it be a PR stunt.

[C]

Yeah, I would love.

[A]

Is that a. Is a narrative?

[B]

Yeah, I saw that.

[A]

Oh, that.

[D]

Now I saw a couple videos of saying it's like a very strategic PR stuck. I don't know how I wish I.

[C]

Cared that little about my wife's reputation.

[D]

I wish I.

[A]

Lean in. Lean in. Say you're gonna kiss at Radio City.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We sell out Radio City. We will make out hardcore. April 18th.

[A]

18Th.

[E]

No, we're April 18th.

[D]

Radio City. I'll sign a prenup. A postnup.

[A]

Post nub.

[C]

Okay, fire into this. I'm into this.

[E]

Have you seen any memes or content that you guys thought were funny?

[D]

Aisha, Chicken curry.

[C]

That was. We got to go through the funniest one objectively.

[A]

Good. Yeah.

[D]

I also like Aisha Curry.

[A]

Yeah.

D In the hole again. The hole.

[E]

I can see your point. I can see your point.

[B]

What about.

[A]

What about Jada Pinket Singh?

[D]

That one hurts a little, but it's funny.

[A]

Okay, what other ones were good?

[E]

I thought Jizine was hurtful. I didn't like that one at all.

[D]

Yeah, I mean, you said it.

[B]

Why you?

[C]

Because she told me. She goes. Every time she said it, she would go, they're calling me Jiz Leine. And it really hurts my feelings. But she couldn't say it without laughing every time.

[D]

The red dot table talk was good too.

[E]

Red dot table talk was good. I saw a funny one that was actually. I thought it was very disrespectful. It said, call her daddy. More like call center daddy. That's good.

[A]

That's really good. Unfortunately.

[C]

That's really good.

[E]

So cheers. Yeah, but it still pissed me off.

[A]

I saw one with you making out with the dog.

And they were like, man, she'll kiss the dog and not a.k.a.

[D]

That'S true. Yeah, I do.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I never tell.

[B]

I just kiss.

[A]

Now, would that have something to do with the fact that there's no romantic connection between you and the dog?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

He's my child. He's my son. So think about it.

[A]

So you would smother your son with kisses?

[D]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[A]

Cuz it's not romantic. Yeah, but when you Kiss Akash. There's like real horniness behind.

[B]

He's daddy.

[A]

He's just like, Akash is daddy or what?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Zaddy.

[A]

What's his favorite position? Oh, you guys got a lot of you.

That's a answer.

I got one of those. Very good. So you guys, this is how comfortable.

[D]

No, I won't say.

[A]

No, Akash is turning his cheek.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Okay. Was there, before we wrap this up, was there anything that you saw? Was there anything that like obviously all the things I imagine made you feel bad, was there anything that specifically bothered you or.

[D]

Yeah, I mean I think people talking about the sore butthole story because that was more kind of like an assault story. But I didn't want to label it as such because I didn't think it was super traumatizing and I had already shared one and I feel like the Internet has a quota for girls of like how many assault stories they could share regardless of if it's true or not. Like obviously I think you think the.

[A]

Interview would be like, oh, every story she tells.

[D]

Yeah, that's why I didn't want to do that. So I was like, oh, this happened. I didn't really say it's okay.

[A]

So what happened? If you don't mind saying?

[D]

Well, I mean, so I was living in San Francisco, working on definitely a.

[A]

Butt thing would happen there. Not shocking at all.

[D]

Yeah, this is like when Tinder first came out. There was no bumble, there was no hinge. I met this guy on Tinder. Whatever. Like we were like just feeling like the vibes and I stupidly was like, oh, you can sleep over. But like not really wanting to hook up that much because again for me like I was just like, okay, maybe we can make out and just like whatever and cuddle. But then I guess he like wanted.

[C]

Was this guy Indian?

[D]

No, he was.

[C]

Yeah. He took it very differently than Yeah, I, I've learned this translation.

[F]

Wait, what do you mean?

[C]

An Indian guy might understand what an Indian girl means when he says we're hooking up. It doesn't mean we're.

[E]

There's something concerned.

[C]

I think most American, I was thrown.

[F]

Off by her inviting him over cuz.

[A]

We were invited over.

[F]

That usually means oh, we're.

[D]

No, I know. That was again stupid decision on my. I was like 21. So it's like I really just like, I don't know, like I just was making bad decisions all around. So it's like. But I was like, okay, like we'll kiss, whatever.

[B]

I don't remember.

[D]

Honestly, I don't even remember too much, but I just remember him like trying to like sneak a finger and I was like, no, no, we're not doing that. Yeah, but like then the next day, like it was like kind of feeling sore. But it wouldn't like if it had been anything else, it would, you know, that would have been a whole other story. It would have been like it would have teared something, you know. Ye was just like that.

[E]

So this was a creep pervert that was trying you and the Internet ran off with this crazy narrative of something completely different.

[B]

Yeah. Security.

[F]

You got to find those guys.

[E]

We got to get them.

[C]

I would love that.

[B]

Can.

[C]

Can I beat this guy up? Probably not.

[A]

Security.

[E]

Get the rose to his head.

[C]

You got.

[A]

Devastated. Anything else? What other things popped up. We got to get it all out.

[E]

Yeah, we need to get it all out.

[A]

We need to purge this.

[E]

I'm not going to be happy until we figure it out.

[C]

Oh, the dermatologist video.

[E]

That one pissed me off. That was outrageous and completely uncalled for.

[A]

So tell us why you were showing your cheeks to and asking if he's single.

[E]

Single Indian doctor.

[D]

Can I just give the whole lore. Okay, looking back, I get it. It was stupid. I was being stupid. Okay, but we all make make mistakes. But that's a good point.

[E]

Technically we do.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

So what happened was I actually fell in Pilates class. I fell on my ass. Me and Akash happened to have an amazing romantic weekend together.

[B]

Where?

[E]

What position?

[B]

Hold on.

[D]

This is New York City. Just whatever, enjoying life. And maybe we had just gotten the rose toy too. So it was like also really fun.

[A]

What's the rose toy? What's the answer? You can't change your life.

[B]

What's the rose toy?

[A]

This is inapprop.

[B]

Is.

[A]

Is it a toy for sexual things?

[C]

Yeah, it makes things very easy and efficient.

[E]

Whoa.

[F]

You'll never have to go down again.

[D]

But it's not.

[E]

This is Akash's.

[C]

This is my outsourcing. This is my outsourcing.

[A]

You are an enigma though.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

No, no, no. Like you're so. What?

[B]

What? Why?

[A]

That's a word, right?

[E]

It's just the energy is great.

Energy.

[B]

Hard.

[E]

The hard R Hotel.

[A]

Okay. An enigma. Okay. Oh, God.

[C]

It's ended with the A.

[A]

So it's different. Yeah.

[B]

What is. Oh, chill out.

[A]

Chill out. There's a woman here. Not that.

[C]

No, not that. Just that one. Nothing goes inside. That's okay.

[A]

You don't have to figure out you're comfortable sharing this. But then there's other things you're not.

[D]

Because I also feel like this could help girls out. You know, I'm on an ssri, so sometimes you need, like a little boost, so why not?

[A]

Yes, this is. But this is why I think that there's confusion. Because to feel comfortable talking about that, but then also not feel comfortable with certain sexual things, that's where the brain goes, what, I have to make up something.

[D]

I don't know. It's hard for me. I mean, I just am existing. I'm not trying to. Like, the only thing I try to do is just be myself on TikTok, but like 10 times extra. And again, like, not to justify two times. I've been with that guys since I'm 22, and I feel like I've learned so much of my humor from him, my personality, from watching you guys. I've hung out with so many comedians, so I'm like, oh, like, be extreme, be funny. As long as your actions are a good person. You know what I mean? So I'm like, oh, I can say whatever I want.

[A]

Don't you blame this on us.

[D]

No, you're right.

[A]

Blame this on us. Jasmine.

[D]

I'm trying to give context.

[B]

Okay. Yeah.

[D]

I mean, I'm not blaming it.

[A]

Fair enough. Okay. So you were saying you guys had a really horny weekend with your toys.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

And so what happened was as a joke on TikTok, I showed the bruise. Like, not like I didn't show my full ass cheek, but I just show a little bit. Cause again, like, repressed Indian girl, I'm like, oh, I can dress however I want as long as I don't actually do anything. So I'm like, okay, you know, tell me you had a good weekend with your husband without telling me. Show the little bruise. Rishi, who's my dermatologist and my brother, amazing, like, practitioner, he was like, I've gone to him for hyperpigmentation. It really bugs me. And he's like, hey, I just want to let you know if you don't treat, this is gonna pigment. And then he knows he's gonna have to deal with me later. Like, please can you get rid of this scar? So he's like, I would just treat it like asap or whatever. So I'm like, okay, perfect, I'll come in. And then again, me being stupid, like, because I want to go on double dates. I'm like, oh, he's single. And I'm like having like this like tongue in cheek thing of like, kind of alluding to me and Akash having sex, even though I Actually found Pilates. So the whole thing was taken out of context.

[A]

Sorry bro.

[C]

I never said I had strong dick. This is really if anything affirming for me.

[A]

That's fair.

[D]

But did that make more like to the context?

[E]

Yes, of course.

[A]

But at the same time the issue is always like people's perception.

[D]

Yeah, the perception.

[A]

I think the big disconnect with you is like. And also there's a version with both of you. Is it? You guys are so fucking innocent because you've never been with anybody. So when you say weird sexual things, you think it's absurd. But you are unique in your innocence with each other.

[D]

I think that was the mistake I made made is like thinking that people would understand that.

[F]

They will not.

[D]

Yeah, they won't.

[A]

Because the immediate reaction to anybody like who've had. Cuz Alex and I Mark is more similar to you guys inlet. You know, he's been with his wife.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So it's like whereas Alex and I have, you know, we've had other chicks and like our, you know, wives have had as well. And then we got to think about that a little bit. Wait, what? What we were horses? Exactly.

But like so that we.

[B]

We're.

[A]

There is a part of us probably comparing and feeling insecure and maybe feeling potentially inadequate.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So that runs through our minds where you guys have been with nobody. So you can feel confident being.

[C]

And I think to be fair to everyone, there was a time in our relationship where I would have been more insecure. But when like she's essentially homeless with me and didn't go anywhere and stayed right by my side. I think the jokes don't bother me because it's like when you're broke as you see exactly who a person really is. Like I've seen her at her core, good, bad, all of it. So I know who she is enough that none of these things are going to. I'm ever going to take seriously because I've seen her. We've been at the absolute bot. She's seen me on my absolute worst. So if I make these jokes, if I call her a or whatever, she's like, I know this. Like at our absolute worst, we still loved each other. We still say by each other's side. So I think that's what I didn't realize also. And I didn't think I was nearly famous enough to become a meme.

[D]

Yeah, I didn't.

[C]

I was wrong.

[A]

That is beautiful. Now is with your guys relationship. Like neither of you come from these like loving marriages, right? Is it? Is it Cool to experience love. Is it what you think of when you see in movies?

[D]

Like, yeah.

[A]

What is that? I'm curious what that's like. You know, I was very privileged. Like my parents were really in love with each other and that was kind of my expectation. You guys discovered it for the first time.

[D]

Yeah. It's so funny. Cause I, I was literally talking to my therapist and I think I was kind of getting tearful because I was thinking about my mom and everything that she went through in her marriage, which obviously wasn't great. And just immigrating to this country with two little girls and just so many things that she had to go through that I was like, I feel so bad that she had to live this life. But now I get to live this beautiful, luxurious, glamorous life with this guy who treats me like a princess. And then my therapist was like, yeah, but in a way it's so beautiful because you're kind of living her American dream. So it's like, I really. And I really think that for Akash too. Cause I know that my mother in law was also in a similar kind of situation. And I feel like for us, we really got so, you know, lucky to like find each other and find our like soulmates in each other. I wish that my mom, who's like the most amazing lady in the world, could have experienced that. And maybe, you know, she'll kind of experience that like later in this chapter after. But.

[A]

Yeah, no, it's beautiful. It is. It's your. What your parents sacrifice so you guys can have this kind of stuff.

[B]

Exactly.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, yeah.

[C]

And, and I, I truly like, again, I think that's it. She actually realized it faster than I did. But now I'm like, oh, that's my soul mate. So again, the jokes don't bother me. I know what's happening. And go buy the bag. I like encourage her to buy stuff early on because I gotta cut that. But early on and you didn't go through this. Being broke with your girl and not being able to buy her anything is so fucking emasculating that when we started making a little bit, we saved for years.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And when she, she was like, I don't know if we can afford this. We can afford this. I'm like, no, I promise we're safe. She was more anxious for a long time. I was like, no, this is like, I think even therapeutic for you. For us, like, go spend that.

[D]

Yeah. It would almost like teach me like a little bit of exposure therapy. I mean now, probably not, but like in the.

[C]

Definitely not.

[D]

Yeah, it's probably like, oh, it teaches your brain. Like, okay, this is safe. I can do this activity. Like just like how posting on TikTok was and like whatever else, but I mean now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But it is interesting that you're gonna have a different relationship, you know, to the money that Akash makes when you guys were locked in before you had anything.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, and you will feel more a part of that journey with him.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Than like if Aakash is this fucking multimillionaire and then he like finds you and then you have that attitude. But what the Internet just sees is a completely different pict, which is like, okay, he's got this beautiful girl and she likes buying bags. And that's what the thing is.

[C]

No, optically it makes sense that she would be a gold digger. She's much hotter than me. No, stop saying that.

[E]

You're the prize.

[A]

You're the prize. You're the prize.

[C]

I look decent with a shirt on.

[A]

We just said. I agree.

Anyway, listen, in the interest of turning.

[E]

All the stones, can you just spell a rumor? I heard a narrative online that you guys were together and then you took a break for like two years and then when you started making money, you came back. Can you dispel this?

[D]

No, we took a break for like a month or two months after I.

[C]

Started making money post Patreon.

[E]

What an idiot.

[A]

He had a different confidence when he was real, right? Yeah. He was telling you to shut up.

[B]

More.

[C]

Shut the ups a year.

[A]

Oh, that's the rule.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

That's a great deal.

[C]

I got eight left. Happy holidays.

[E]

All right. I feel like we've done a pretty good job here.

[A]

Listen, we love you guys. I mean, obviously love you guys.

[B]

What?

[A]

What? What? You know, what happened. But I hope everybody who watch the Internet is going to do whatever the, the Internet wants to do. But I hope if anybody actually does watch, they get a better idea of, you know, your guys relationship. And I hope you go moving forward you understand how different your guys relationship is for most people. And like sometimes the reaction they have, not every reaction is, oh, they're completely off.

[B]

Right.

[A]

They're just reflecting what they would be in a relationship and going, oh, I.

[C]

Would feel it's their experience and how our experience is abnormal.

[A]

Some guys are bad actors, obviously. And then some people are going, what the hell is going on with this love, Aakash? Like what is happening? Yeah. And. But yeah, I'm stoked that you guys got to come on and you know, I hope You. I wish you well. I'm betting on you guys staying together.

[C]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

20, 27. I got money on that.

[C]

I'm gonna sell that.

[A]

What are the odds?

Anyway, thank you so much for coming, Jesselyn. Love you guys so much.

[F]

Oh, thank you. Thank you, Jay.

[A]

Guys, let's take a break for a second. You need to take care of your skin, okay? It's winter. You're getting dry, you're getting ashy. Even if it's summer, even if you're down under, your under eyes are darker, you get wrinkles. You generally just look like. It's because we don't take care of our skin, fellas. We just think our skin is going to be totally fine. We don't think it impacts anything in our life. And that's not the case. And that's why you need caldera labs, okay? They put together skincare for men in a simple package. It's a four step process that takes care of everything. You need to look better. You wash your face, you put on three products, you're done. That's it. Your face is less puffy. Your under eyes, they look better. Your face won't wrinkle nearly as quickly. This is a no brainer. Let them handle what you need to look your best, okay? So look better and feel better. Go to calderalab.com flagrant and use the code FLAGRANT for 20% off your first order. Let's get back to the show. All right, guys, let's take a break for a second. All right? There's a lot of brands out there dropping holiday fluff. Black rifle coffees dropping hollow holiday firepower. They're ending 2025 the only way they know how. Loud, bold, American. Whether you're gifting your gym buddy or hosting a house full of freeloaders, black rifle coffee's got your back. With roast like atomic llama.

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[A]

Guys, listen. Hey, Jobs. Yeah. You have an absolute permission slip to do this. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, I think I do.

[A]

You know something else that's funny? Some of your wife's lip gloss is on your ear, which means she ducked the out of the kiss there in the elevator. So it is.

[C]

No, that's when I ducked the kiss.

[A]

Oh, that's when you duck.

We play. No games. We back. That's funny. You didn't tell you you're gonna do that, huh?

[C]

Nope.

[A]

Because she was surprised.

[B]

She.

[A]

I shouldn't do that.

[B]

There you go.

[C]

Lesson learned.

[A]

What was I gonna say? Oh, yeah.

[C]

So you.

[A]

She literally said, you can just do it. And she seemed quite serious, like she was remorseful for what you've been put through.

[C]

What she put me through? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I gotta use this now.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Let's. Let's line up. Patrons. Let me know a good spot.

[A]

This is a public episode and public.

[C]

Let me know a good spot. Y' all heard her.

[E]

It is. We were talking about this. You didn't say where, right?

[C]

Yeah, I think I want to go to a place where it's legal. Cuz I assume the women will not be just old and Asian.

[E]

Yep.

[A]

N. I mean, well, what do you want? Do you want the best one or you want the hottest girl?

[E]

Yeah, this is actually an interesting.

[C]

I need that Venn diagram crossover.

[A]

You want a girl that's hot enough, but she's incredible at the skill.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

Wait, but are you going eyes open.

[A]

Eyes closed, but it depends.

[E]

Yeah. If they're Asian or. Wait, what was the.

[C]

Yeah, wait, what is eyes closed the whole time you're blind?

[A]

Because I just figured like when I sleep and you just got on the bottom of your chin when I'm getting.

[F]

A massage, it's like, I'm eyes closed the whole massage, and now it's just an extra part of the.

[C]

No, they turn you over halfway through.

[F]

Now I still go eyes closed. I don't open my eyes. You go like this, looking up the whole time.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

That's a good point.

[A]

But also, if a girl's jerking you off, do you look directly into her eyes?

[C]

I think it depends on how she looks. Right. If she's attractive. I'm soaking this up.

[A]

Do you ask for her attention? Do you like. Are you like.

[C]

No, no, no. You got to focus. I'm looking at you. I'm an Indian guy, but it's staring.

[A]

Yeah. So you just. Just laser beam the side of her head.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

I've heard that the. The older pros are actually better.

[A]

Of course you've heard.

[C]

I feel like they'd have less.

[B]

Less.

[A]

We've heard this.

[F]

Ro.

[E]

I have a friend who's a connoisseur. He goes on. What is it? Tug? Maps. And he knows all the places. He knows all the.

[F]

Why you look at Mil?

[E]

He lives.

[A]

He lives in a specific neighborhood because they're closer to the things. Really?

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

This is a close friend of mine.

[C]

Put us on a group text.

[A]

I will.

Close. I know him.

[E]

No, you don't know him. Now, you might have met him in passing, but I don't think you know him.

[F]

He goes to the coffee shop.

[C]

No, I wish y'.

[B]

All.

[C]

I'd be there tomorrow morning.

[E]

But he's got the spot. He's got the spot. Apparently, the. The pros are professional. Really? Oh, yeah.

[C]

They just.

[E]

You won't last more than seven seconds. Yeah.

[F]

So, like, normal.

[A]

We had a friend in college do this, and they. He bet he could last, like, more than 45 seconds or whatever it was.

[E]

Yeah. We challenged each other to a duel.

[A]

We paid for him to go get a rubbing tug, and he went and got the rubbing tug and came out defeated. He was like. It was like, how long? He said it was under a minute. Like, easily, like, it was just magic.

[E]

We did the over under on a minute.

[B]

We had the. We had the cow.

[E]

She spread. We had the whole thing.

[C]

Do they massage you first? I'm not. I'm too Indian to just get a hand job. I need a massage massage.

[E]

A good massage. It's all inclusive.

[C]

Oh, that's. That's nice.

[E]

All inclusive, but, like, from start of.

[A]

Of hand to end of job was.

[C]

Hey, if you had to go through these last three weeks, you wouldn't be jealous.

It's all good, dude.

[E]

Let's just see after the massage how you feel. Okay, you get on the milking table. You get on the milking table, dude, you're out of here. All of a sudden, you'll be like, you know what?

[B]

It was all.

[E]

It was all worth it. Your boy got milk, dude.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Fun.

[A]

Yeah, I like this, yo. This is awesome. He got glaz.

Stop glazing me.

[E]

And from the top. Go ahead.

[A]

Your hand, the way you use the glasses as a prop is excellent.

[C]

Oh, the snap. It's the snap.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, it's. Yeah, yeah. You fold this one in and you, like.

[E]

And you point.

[A]

Yeah, fantastic.

[E]

The old teacher did that.

[F]

You practiced this?

[E]

I just seen it.

[A]

Yo, he had whole practice in this, all right? He was YouTubing athlete, NBA thing. That's fucking nerd.

[E]

My wife's knocking on the door. I'm like, I need 10 minutes.

[C]

I'm shitting.

[E]

I'm on the bidet. Trying to get in character.

[C]

Okay.

[E]

Doing tricks on it sideways.

[A]

Do you have a bidet?

[E]

Yes.

[F]

Yeah, we're all bidets.

[E]

We all are bidets.

[C]

Except I'm trying to get that toto that automatically opens and closes.

[A]

I like that rough wipe, man.

[F]

You have it.

[A]

I like a rough wipe.

[F]

Not at the new crib.

[C]

You are what you wipe your ass with.

[A]

Yo, for real, man. I like a rough wipe. Like, I want to feel that shit bunch up.

[E]

He'll send me wiping memes and the shit. I don't even understand. Understand the joke.

[A]

Send us a picture of him.

[B]

Yeah. What the.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[A]

What the was that? Group chat.

[E]

What in the ever was that?

[A]

All right, so get the. Get the picture up.

[E]

No, no, we're not putting the people through this.

[A]

It's like last week, you crossed the line with that. Last week at the Cellar, right? Or two weeks ago at the Cellar. I come out of. There's a room called the. The lounge at the Fat Black Cat. The lounge. So I come out of that room and I do a signature public fart display on stage. That I do.

I walk out of this door. Now I'm in, like, this little vestibule with the security guards and everybody like that. And I walk out and I spread my legs like this, and I. And I do a fart, and I go.

And then the end, it goes pap. And I go. I was like, right? And everybody, like, heard the fart. Some people were grossed out. Some people laugh, whatever. Like that. I go on stage.

[E]

Everyone was grossed out.

[A]

I go on stage, and I'm like, ooh, my ass. Feels cold for some reason. And I'm like, oh, no. I must have shit myself with water. And now I'm feeling the water get cold.

[E]

It's not water.

[A]

Well, it's doo doo at the time.

[E]

Liquid.

[B]

Liquid.

[C]

It turns into water.

[E]

Later turned into more of, like, an acrylic paint. Jeez.

[A]

I go downstairs before my next five is at the Vu, the Village Underground. And I go to the bathroom, I take off my jeans, I take off my underwear, and there is just like, a paste of, like, a bob roll.

[E]

I can't even turn that off.

[F]

When you put that in a group, I was like, nah, this is too much.

[E]

This is my challengers.

[F]

Like, this is bad.

[E]

Yeah, dude.

[C]

This is my challenger.

[A]

And the worst part was I. The color of it, though. It's a really fascinating color.

[B]

It is.

[E]

I think you need a crayon. Like, why is it.

[B]

Does.

[A]

It does have that look to it?

[C]

Look, the zoom in was unnecessary. The zoom in was a lot.

[A]

So I just threw most underwear in the garbage in the br. Bathroom.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I just. I just kept on doing my shows like a real soldier. You about to throw up.

[E]

This is pulling on my Adams apple. And I felt, wait a minute.

[A]

What would you do if you were in my situation?

[C]

You have to do that. No, you weren't here. We had this conversation.

[E]

Take it off.

[C]

On Patreon, I was like, I almost my pants right before I got on stage, and luckily I checked my. My boxes and they were fine. But I was like, you have to bring an extra pair every time time you go on stage. That needs to be part of my writer.

[A]

But you wouldn't text it to the group. Yeah. Why not?

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

We don't.

[A]

Why would I share that? Why would I share that show? It's a funny thing. You poop your pants a little bit. You tell us. Can I be honest with you? Having, like, girls on a group chat makes me hesitant to throw out there. It does. Like, out of respect for the girls here, like, the girls at work with us, and I feel uncomfortable send a picture of in my drawers to you guys.

[C]

Yeah, that's probably.

[A]

If it was literally the four or five of us in this room, six of us.

I would have. I would have definitely shared it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You still shared it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You still.

[A]

Yeah, but I did it, like, out of spite of myself.

[E]

I can see you.

You're trying to bring joy to the group chat. You're like, you know, we've been through a lot.

[A]

Yeah. I wanted to lighten the load.

[E]

Let me cheer everyone up.

[C]

Yo, the emotional swing of farting that turns into a. Is one of the funniest things in the world. Happy farting.

[A]

The second it turns into chill into down my spine. The sound it went. Was a normal fart. And then the end it went. And I was like, I never farted pap.

[C]

I remember the first time I started, I was trying to fart and, like, brag and, like, be funny about it.

[B]

And then when I.

[C]

The horror. What just happened?

[E]

This is unrefined.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[E]

We shouldn't be speaking like this.

[C]

Oh, God.

[A]

I mean, yeah, you're right. You know? Shouldn't be sharing these things with you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Did a whole set shit on my ass.

[E]

All right, so how was your Thanksgiving, though, man?

[A]

You want to see some shit?

[F]

Whole Thanksgiving shit on his ass.

[A]

I didn't send this to the group yet.

[C]

How long until you showered when you went home?

[A]

I ain't showered. I got right into bed.

[F]

Nah, you're lying.

[A]

I got right into bed.

[B]

You're lying.

[A]

My wife, bro. I got right into bed. My wife doesn't even know. My wife found my jeans in the morning. It has shit right through the fucking jeans. Somehow the dude who passed through the barrier, there was a membrane. It passed directly through, and there was a.

[C]

The liquid that goes through to that side.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[C]

So the less molecular side.

[A]

I don't even like Mark's posture.

Judge me. Judge me.

[C]

That judgment does feel worse.

[A]

Yeah. You trying to be vulnerable. I'm trying to be vulnerable. Trying to be venerable. I'm trying to be venerable. Memorable.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

How was your Thanksgiving, dude?

[C]

It was great. It was me, my mom, my whore wife. We just had a blast.

[A]

Stop telling the street.

[C]

No. People haven't brought it up, so maybe out of kindness. But I asked at shows, I said, if. Is there anybody that does not. Because I would open about being like, so my wife's a. Huh?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And we'll get a laugh. And then I would say, is there anybody who doesn't know about this? Yeah, because the first time I did it, it was, like, weird, the vibe. And then after that, I was like, who doesn't know? And so many people would clap. I'd be astonished.

[A]

Yeah, it is weird, you know, but, yeah, I mean, it's a very real.

[C]

Thing, but outside of the Internet, I don't know how many people. It caught their algorithm.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like, if you are a person that is on the Internet, this is big enough where you know about it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But if you're not an Internet person, it's not like it's covered in CBS News or something.

[C]

Like, my best friends still have no idea. Right?

[F]

Yeah, no, they know. They just.

[C]

Well, you met Gerald. He's like kind of autistic and just not online that much. And Peter's also just not online that much. So they just don't know.

[A]

I remember when you text me that you're like, I don't know. It's like I was. I asked the crowd, like half of them kind of didn't know. And I think I texted you so back like, they know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they know. This one. They know.

[F]

Nah, but I gotta, I gotta thank you. Cause you definitely saved my Thanksgiving. Because the moment I walked through the door. Yo, what's up, yo?

[A]

Yo, bro, for real. It was a lot of conversation for about three hours. Like, it's the first Thanksgiving. It was the first Thanksgiving.

[F]

We didn't end an argument.

[B]

Really.

[A]

Y' all did the fighting for us. That's nice. Yeah, yeah, you did. Really saved us. You did a real public service.

[C]

Public service.

[E]

I'mma tell him to keep going.

[A]

Drama, man. It is true, like anytime you start talking about it, it's just.

[C]

It's salacious. It's the most like, important thing.

[A]

That is true.

[C]

The highest stakes thing is especially marriage.

[A]

And it's so relatable.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

And it's reflective.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

You're watching it. You're like, is this. Is this our relationship? Is this me?

[A]

Like, anytime people see I do not want that.

[E]

Yeah. They're like, this is me. This is reflection on me.

[A]

Da, da, da.

[E]

So it's all projection. Yeah, that's how it goes.

[A]

Have you been like stern with your wife? More now, like, so she don't buy the house hype on the Internet.

[C]

What? The hype that she's a gold Dig Moore?

[A]

No.

You're a simp or whatever. Like, no, no, no, no.

[C]

We both stayed offline cuz we knew this wasn't going to be good to watch. So we were both offline. That was the one good thing.

[A]

Isn't that scarier though, when you're just getting these texts, like, hope you're almost.

[C]

So it's better to not see it. But then every time someone texts me, I'd be like, this. Caught your algorithm.

[A]

What's going on?

[C]

How big is this?

[A]

I have my like DC cousins who like older and like adult adults. And like, they hit me. They're like, what is going on? They were angry, Jaslene, bro. They were pissed because they love you.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

They love you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they're like, yo, no. He goes, how do we kill her?

[E]

So you're not gonna divorce and take half her money that's off the table?

[C]

No, no. Sadly, no. I thought about it. Because she's such a liar.

[A]

I'm a divorcer. To take half my money.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, dude. She's such a liar, though. I was too stupid to know for 10 years, never bothered just asking.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. So what can you do, guys? That's the episode, okay? There's nothing else important to talk about. The Internet has been consumed with one story for the last few weeks, and it is Akash Singh and Jaslene Singh. And, you know, hopefully we brought some more color to that conversation.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And hopefully you guys had some fun getting to know them. And also, thank you guys so much for 2 million subs.

[C]

Oh, hell yeah.

[A]

You almost got divorced, but we were able to reach a number that we've been trying to get to for a while. So we're very excited about that.

[E]

It all worked out.

[A]

Yeah, it all worked out, man. So thank you guys so much for tuning in. We love y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

We appreciate y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

We're gonna do Patreon. I'm gonna talk about what happened this week on Patreon. So come over there and hang with us on Patreon. Patreon.com Flagrant. We'll see you next week. Peace.

[C]

God bless. Yo, listen, that was bonkers, bro.

[A]

I was interested in her lyrics, honestly. They say black people crazy, but look at white people. No brain, Straight no brain. A lot of cave, man.

If you want to find me, make sure you type in Y O u k N o W K E R. Out of all platforms. It's your boy, you know?

[C]

And now you know what's going on, y'.

[B]

All.

[F]

If y' all want to follow me.

[A]

On Instagram, it is Midget. M I D G E T underscore.

[F]

J O E underscore.

[A]

On any other platform, just type in Midget Joe and you're going to see this lovely face.

[F]

So definitely follow your voyeur.

[B]

Follow back.

[G]

Ordinary checking. Just a place to park your money. Our checking, a $300 head start. As a member of Oregon State Credit Union, you'll feel the benefits from day one. Open a new checking account, set up direct deposit, and we'll add 300 bucks to get you going. Oregon State Credit Union. Human to human banking. Insured by NCUA Equal Housing Lender. $25 minimum balance required. Subject to change terms, terms and conditions.