Trump as Jesus is WILD, Melania Revives Epstein, + Bieber Saves Coachella | #700

Summary

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Flagrant Podcast Episode #700

“Trump as Jesus is WILD, Melania Revives Epstein, + Bieber Saves Coachella”

Hosts: Andrew Schulz, Akaash Singh, AlexxMedia, Mark Gagnon
Date: April 15, 2026

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Episode Overview

This riotous Flagrant episode (#700) dives headfirst into the week’s wildest news and controversies: Trump’s beef with the new American Pope, Melania Trump’s surprise connection to ongoing Epstein allegations, Justin Bieber’s unconventional live show at Coachella, and a spicy debate on political corruption. The boys maintain their signature irreverent, quick-witted tone, weaving in personal anecdotes and pop culture tangents for a classic “greatest hang in the universe” vibe.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Trump vs. The Pope: Trump as 'Jesus' Meme & Vatican Beef

• [00:20 – 10:45]
• Trump is publicly feuding with the newly elected American Pope Leo, notably over issues of war with Iran and immigration.
• Catholic hosts debate the legitimacy and background of Pope Leo, the Catholic Church’s approach to pedophilia scandals, and whether the Church’s global influence is being politicized.
• Trump posts a controversial AI image depicting himself in Jesus-like and/or doctor garb, later defending it as “clearly a doctor for the Red Cross.”
• The group roasts Trump’s explanations and questions escalating religious-political clashes in the US.

“It's hilarious that Trump’s like, ‘I'm not Jesus, come on, obviously a doctor. I love the Red Cross!’ That’s his defense.” – (C) Mark, [11:28]

• Trump’s beef with the Pope escalates into both men calling each other out on social media.
• The hosts discuss Catholic demographics, the global reach of the Church, and Trump’s claims that Leo was made Pope simply to oppose him.

2. Trump’s AI “Doctor-Jesus” Meme Breakdown

• [12:15 – 23:00]
• Trump’s attempt to rebrand the viral AI meme draws ridicule.
• They analyze the symbolism of the image (Jesus, doctor, nurse, possible Epstein and Jon Stewart cameos).
• Tangents on religious iconography and interfaith humor abound.

“He didn’t take down the Obama monkey thing, but he takes down the Jesus one. That’s wild!” – (B) Akaash, [12:13]

3. U.S. Political Absurdity: Pope as President?

• [44:01 – 47:00]
• Discussion on Pope Leo’s popularity in the US and whether he could theoretically run for President.
• Debates over church and state, evangelical voters, and jokey suggestions for merging Catholicism into American politics.

4. Melania Trump, Epstein, & Model Trafficking Ripples

• [26:12 – 40:05]
• The crew unpacks wild rumors connecting Melania Trump to Epstein’s modeling/escort rings.
• They clarify that many allegations are rumors and lawsuits are ongoing.
• Melania holds a surprise press conference, distancing herself from Epstein, which the hosts interpret as “getting ahead” of tabloid stories.
• A deep dive into the history of Paolo Zampoli and his wife’s deportation, further tracing the “Epstein network” via Trump’s circles.

“I heard a rumor she was selling pussy back in the day, allegedly.” – (B) Akaash, [27:49]

5. Tangential Comedy Breaks: Religion, Naming, and Albinos in Africa

• [40:05 – 62:00]
• Wild, irreverent riffs on religious translations (e.g., Jesus’ name in Islam), racism, and distinctions between “witch doctors” and traditional healers.
• Bizarre, darkly comic discussion about the myth of harvesting albino body parts in Africa.
• Flagrant style, nothing is off-limits.

6. Meme Wars & International Propaganda

• [61:11 – 64:40]
• The hosts marvel at Iran’s cutting-edge meme propaganda—Lego and Roblox-style viral videos mocking Western leaders.
• Tangents about the decline of US meme culture and theories that American contractors make the best memes for Iran.

7. Bieber’s “Non-Performance” at Coachella: Generational Shift in Fame

• [69:47 – 78:08]
• Mark praises Justin Bieber’s recent bare-bones Coachella set: just Bieber, a laptop, and a stream-of-consciousness chat with fans—a radical departure from the usual overproduced spectacle.
• Andrew is mixed; Akaash thinks it’s lazy.
• Broader debate about generational changes in performance, nostalgia, and authenticity, comparing Bieber to icons like Michael Jackson.

“He’s just up there, fully, like, immersed in this new cultural moment… not doing too much and the audience is going crazy.” – (C) Mark, [71:02]

• Discussion of how some acts can only pull off such a stripped-back format if their legacy is strong enough.

8. SNL’s “Brilliant Idiots” Parody & Comedy Self-Mockery

• [82:39 – 85:08]
• The Flagrant crew react to SNL’s sketch apparently inspired by their peer podcast The Brilliant Idiots, leading to hilarious meta-commentary.
• They play with “who’s who” on the sketch and reflect on being mainstreamed.

9. Real-World Scandals: CA Political Chaos & Sex Work

• [86:14 – 97:33]
• Mark reports a series of political shakeups: California’s Dem-heavy primaries see Eric Swalwell taken out by leaks of alleged hotel sex worker videos, as Dems jockey for the “right” candidate.
• The crew joke about “chess-like” intrigue, reflecting on how sex scandals are wielded as political weapons.
• They riff on media hypocrisy about politicians’ sexual exploits.
• Sidebar on Chinese spy “Fang Fang” and the “rail for a rail” rumor with Swalwell.

“He got comped by a Chinese spy. I mean, he's a wild boy. He's an egomaniac.” – (C) Mark, [92:36]

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Memorable Quotes & Moments — With Timestamps

• On Trump’s Religious War:
  “So basically, Leo was going against Trump being like, yo, this whole wars. You guys are… crazy with this war in Iran.” – (C) [05:17]
• On Papal legitimacy:
  “Catholic Church is the world. Right, True. You think that you're going to elect an American Pope?... They're not even thinking about Trump when they're in that little room with the smoke coming out.” – (A) Andrew, [10:30]
• On Justin Bieber’s set:
  “How is that awesome?” – (B) Akaash, [70:15]
  “He’s just up there, like, immersed in this new cultural moment…” – (C) Mark, [71:03]
• On Melania Rumors:
  “I heard a rumor that she was selling pussy back in the day.” – (B) Akaash, [27:49]
• On meme warfare:
  “We gotta...step it up. As Americans, we are...We're good at propaganda. We invented it.” – (A) Andrew, [62:23]
• On race and culture war fatigue:
  “If you want to win the Twitter war...Black Twitter is going to run it.” – (A) Andrew, [48:01]
• On Coachella Festival Culture:
  “It's only a few performers that can even do this. Kanye actually probably could have done this...There’s only a handful of people that have so much gravity…” – (A) [76:29]
• On political scandal:
  “You kissing hoes in the mouth, bro.” – (A) Andrew, [89:13]
• On corrupt priests:
  “Name one. [Uncorrupt priest] All of them.” – (B) Akaash, [92:58]
  “Every Boston one that they had to move around...” – (C) Mark, [93:00]

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Notable Segment Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | Key Point | |-----------|-----------------------------------------|------------------------------------| | 00:20 | Trump vs the Pope | Religious feud and memes | | 12:15 | Trump’s AI Meme | Analysis/ridicule | | 26:12 | Melania & Epstein Allegations | Press conference, trafficking talk | | 44:01 | Pope as U.S. President? | Church vs. State | | 61:11 | Meme Wars | Propaganda & social media | | 69:47 | Bieber’s Coachella Performance | Generational culture debate | | 82:39 | SNL Parody | Comedy crossover | | 86:14 | CA Political Scandal (Swalwell, Fang Fang) | Sex, leaks, and chess politics |

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a master class in Flagrant’s raw, wild, intelligent banter. The hosts thread global politics, religion, pop culture, and scandal through their signature irreverent lens—never holding back, always pushing boundaries. The “Trump as Jesus/Doctor” meme, Melania’s Epstein drama, and Bieber’s digital-age performance each become vehicles for bigger debates about authenticity, influence, and how wild the modern information war has become.

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If you crave fearless, boundary-demolishing commentary that finds the punchline in even the darkest or weirdest news, this Flagrant episode delivers it all—with plenty of laughs, surprises, and cultural insights in every segment.

Transcript

[A]

What's up, everybody? Welcome to Flagrance, boy. Schultze here. Alex, Media. Marky Gag. Miles on the ones and twos. Joey over there trying to figure out the computer.

[B]

One day, Joey.

[A]

Yeah, one day. You got that shit, man. Guys, guys. Big things happening in the world. Big things happen in the world, man.

[C]

Trump.

[A]

Trump and the Catholic Church going after.

[C]

Yeah, bro, this is. This is kind of wild.

[A]

They're going at it. How do you feel as a Catholic, bro? That's.

[C]

This is where you got to ride for your boy.

[A]

And who's.

[C]

I mean.

[B]

Yeah. Which.

[A]

Yeah,

[C]

Leonardo, dude.

[A]

100%. Yeah. So Leonardo is coming at Trump for.

[B]

Quick question. Quick question. Is the Pope the leader of all of y'? All? Like, is he both of your daddies or just his daddy?

[C]

Mostly my daddy. He's really all of our.

[A]

Like, did you choose up with Iran? Are you. Are you already on their side?

[B]

Not like religious people.

[A]

What?

[B]

I'm just.

[C]

You're Christian?

[A]

No, but were you baptized?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Right.

[A]

It don't matter if it's by choice.

[B]

God into me. Whoa.

[A]

You and Mary.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

Of course. It was the birth. Yeah.

[B]

I was 13 and in church. That's consensual, right?

[A]

No, no, baptize it. 13.

[B]

No, that was the other one.

[A]

You are way more Catholic than. Maybe now Mark is super Catholic, but you're more Catholic than me.

[B]

I have Puerto Rico. I have to go through all.

[A]

I had to.

[B]

She still thinks I'm going to hell.

[A]

Right now you are.

[B]

I didn't do the final one.

[C]

What's the one after confirmation?

[B]

I didn't do that one.

[C]

You gotta get. You gotta hit the confirmation.

[B]

Yeah, see, I'm not full.

[A]

What are you waiting for, bro?

[B]

What are you waiting for? Fake.

[A]

I'm orthodox,

[C]

Bro. Yeah, he left orthodox. Oh, you down with gay?

[A]

Gay? No, I'm Harlem, bro. I'm Harlem. Shout out to Renaissance Church, man. Love y'.

[C]

All.

[A]

Corvinus gave an amazing sermon. I even felt guilty saying before that one.

[C]

Try it again.

[A]

But, yeah, shout out to. Shout out to Corvus and Renaissance.

[B]

Does he pull up in the Dior and the Bentley and, like, it's in a public school?

[A]

This is.

[C]

This is. Well, after Schultz goes a couple times,

[A]

all of a sudden.

[C]

You know what I mean? You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah. I'm not going to have any seats if we keep talking about how amazing these church services.

[B]

Does he look at you funny? If you don't tip enough, bro, I'll

[A]

be honest with you. Tip.

[B]

Same shit.

[A]

I'm in there. You Being real disrespectful.

[C]

Right.

[A]

I hope there's hell. No, no, I can't do that. No. Choose the best. That's what his sermon was about. It was, don't wish bad on people. Don't wish for people's demise.

[B]

You on your trump right now.

[A]

I'm trying to hope you find God.

[C]

You got to do it more close. You got to be like, I hope you learn a good lesson.

[A]

I hope you do learn a good lesson.

[C]

I hope I. Close to God. I hope. God, I hope you marry your girl

[A]

so that both of you stop sinning. You could just marry her, and then both of you won't be sinning.

[C]

You're living in sin.

[A]

You are living instead.

[B]

I don't practice y' all shit, so I'm not sinning.

[A]

What is y'. All?

[B]

Y'. All.

[A]

Are you a good person?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Then you're Catholic.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

You think human beings were good before this?

[B]

So you say Muslims aren't good people.

[A]

They came after. Get the order right.

[B]

All right, so if they was late, I'm probably Muslim.

[C]

Good point.

[A]

Good point.

[C]

But Muslims also love Jesus, so there you go. That's what I'm saying. They love Jesus.

[A]

They gotta love him. Oh, okay. They love them. Now, if you convert to them, they'll kill you, but they love. It is awesome. Kind of like, how much do you love them? It's almost like loving like your stepfather or some. Yeah, yeah. You know, it's like. No, no, no.

[C]

You can't worship them.

[A]

Don't worship them, but respect them. Yeah, some respect.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

So, yeah, y' all team Leo.

[A]

Yeah. Talk some about Islam now, you know, let's see how agnostic you are. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Now that Mom Donnie's running, y, my dad's gonna catch.

[B]

Right?

[A]

What'd you say? A lot, Buck.

[B]

I'm giving it up to my people.

[A]

I'm trying to get free groceries.

[C]

Sound like a Muslim chicken

[A]

in front of the cereal section in the free groceries.

[C]

Okay, back to the Trump Pope thing.

[A]

So basically, why is he beefing with the Pope?

[C]

The Pope was. I mean, it kind of goes back even farther than Pope Leo, but before Poplio. Well, because Trump and Francis were going at it. They were they, like, kind of chirping at each other. But Francis was.

[A]

Is the Catholic Church, like, is there a little of them? Like, yo, you not gonna be the most prolific pedophile protector. It's. It's us not taking that from us.

[C]

No.

[A]

Is there a little bit of, like.

[C]

No, that's. No. Is there a little bit no, no, that's. We don't do that.

[A]

You don't do that. Who won?

[B]

Like, who's the better protector of pedophile?

[C]

Okay, no, like, who's better? Look, the church. The church had some issues. Okay, but what does that mean exactly?

[A]

What does that mean?

[B]

You sound a real. Epstein.

[A]

Least the church moved them around, trying to just like, yo, stay wherever you at, bro.

[B]

You good, yo, Come upon. Be a part of my administration, Keep running the world.

[A]

Introduce me to my new wife. Allegedly. Allegedly.

[C]

Church got us some shenanigans, okay? But this is not about the. The institution, okay? This is about Leo and Trump, all right?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

And so basically, Leo was going against Trump being like, yo, this whole wars. You guys are. You're getting crazy with this war in Iran.

[A]

Fire. We like this. And he's shout out Leo.

[C]

He's also like, you're going a little crazy with immigration because we love this. Who are the best Catholics? Mexicans are up there.

[B]

Africans.

[A]

Africans are good, yo.

[C]

Which. Shout out to them.

[A]

Put some respect on African Catholics, bro. A lot of people don't know.

[B]

Biggest grown group of Catholics right now.

[C]

Step it up, Nigeria, right? They got.

[A]

Stop acting like, you know, I know. I'm tired, son. I'm Team Leo pl. Son. Come on, son.

[C]

How you do that so fast?

[A]

Put Leo in the building.

[C]

Oh, that was backwards.

[A]

But I like God

[B]

one time.

[A]

That's crazy. Both Leos like him, young man.

[C]

Okay?

[A]

No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not put on Leo, man. I'm not put on Leo.

[C]

He's a man of God.

[A]

Never once happened at Renaissance Church up in Harlem.

[C]

I'm just saying.

[A]

Never once.

[B]

No.

[A]

No accusations. Why you even putting that out to a service? Can you come to a service?

[B]

I'm just saying.

[C]

So Leo's going to Trump basically being like. He says some crazy one of his. I don't even know exactly what it was, but he gave a speech, maybe a sermon, I don't know. But he says, God does not hear the prayers of those that wage war.

[A]

I have. I. I take exception to that. I think he hears them.

[C]

He comes up.

[A]

I think it comes up on the ticker. I don't know if he's clicking the link, but, like, to say he doesn't even hear them is a little bit peculiar, right? Doesn't God hear the prayers of everyone?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, here's. And then also, you look at the Bible and you're like, oh, there's some wars you heard about. But that was the old. That was Old Testament,

[A]

Bro.

[C]

It's old.

[A]

Forgiveness.

[C]

Yeah, it's old. Yeah. Why are you bringing up old, anyway? We talk about New Testament.

[A]

All right, yeah.

[C]

So he's going all of it.

[A]

Old, isn't it? A whole belief system old.

[C]

It is. It's ancient. It's actually the oldest church. Holy Catholic Apostolic Church,

[A]

Orthodox. Gang, can you come from my boy? Because he's trying to replace y'. All.

[C]

Stop.

[A]

I hate how they try to erase you from history. Orthodox switched up. That's unorthodox. The churches ain't close.

[C]

Watch this, watch this, watch this. When did you celebrate Easter?

[A]

I celebrate the Orthodox.

[B]

I did. I saw the buddy rap.

[A]

I was out east. I was out east with the bunny rabbit weeks ago. You're a little Catholic. Easter. You're fug.

[C]

But Easter this past weekend, I don't. I didn't see you anywhere.

[A]

Where was I this past weekend?

[C]

You were at that Renaissance.

[A]

Was I at church this past weekend?

[C]

What is the Renaissance known for?

[A]

Don't bite me. Okay.

[C]

Jeez.

[A]

Okay, okay.

[B]

That's hr, right?

[A]

Say I wasn't at church picking me last night. I was at church on real Easter. Okay, look, was I not at church on real.

[C]

Technically, you did go.

[A]

Thank you. But I think you hang out with your bunny rabbits. You hang out with your bunny rabbits on your Easter. I'll go to real Easter.

[C]

Okay, back to the point. Yes, Trump is saying. He says Leo's weak on crime. He's terrible for foreign policy. He talks about fear of Trump, but he wasn't afraid when, you know, the Catholic Church had all these people arrested during COVID I like his brother Louis much better. He goes, louie's fire, Louie's maga.

[A]

He gets it.

[C]

Leo doesn't. He thinks it's okay for Iran to have a nuclear weapon. I don't want a pope that thinks, you know, all this stuff. He basically goes on to say, like, I hate Leo, and he thinks that Leo's a lib.

[A]

The balls.

[C]

And then how do the.

[A]

How do the Catholics feel about it?

[C]

I mean, Christians in general, specifically, with the Leo stuff. Catholics are obviously like, yo, this is crazy, out of line. You can't be going to the Pope

[A]

like this because they like Leo. Do they appreciate Leo? Do they think he's. Sometimes there's.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Sometimes there's some. You know, like, who was it that they thought wasn't. Who was the last one that got from Argentina?

[C]

Francis.

[A]

Francis, that's right. They didn't think Francis was maybe conservative enough for the church.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. But Leo. I think the fact he's American. They run him shot town.

[B]

Is he even coming at the vote? I saw somewhere that they said that they the people up the vote to put an American in there that was a liberal.

[A]

Yo, just start from the beginning. At the same time, start from the beginning. Take a deep breath, and then get your snap ready.

[B]

I'm team Relax. Relax.

[C]

You know.

[A]

Okay, so no, I'll find it.

[C]

Trump said basically in this that Leo only became Pope because they wanted an American to go against Trump.

[B]

That's what I just said.

[C]

All right.

[A]

See, that's what I got.

[B]

Fire, you see, out here, speaking for a black man. But it's all good. We'll let you know.

[A]

Why did the Catholic. Catholic Church. The Catholic Church is the world.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

They're not worried about just America. The Catholic Church is the world. Right, True. You think that you're going to elect an American Pope?

[B]

I mean, they did, but they didn't

[A]

do it to thwart Trump. They're not even thinking about Trump when they're in that little room with the smoke coming out.

[C]

Yeah, with the smoke. Yeah, with the haze.

[A]

With the haze. What is it called again?

[C]

I actually don't know the. I mean, the Vatican, but I don't know the exact room that they're in. Oh, 1.4, Bill. I mean, look at that numbers going on.

[A]

1.4 billion people.

[C]

Come on, dude.

[A]

So, yeah, they put him 13.8 of the global population. That. That's the global population, including China. Lying rates recorded in Africa.

[B]

Let's go.

[A]

Yo, shout out African Catholics, man. The realist.

[B]

Come on, man.

[C]

Yeah. So then Trump goes, you know what? I've had enough of this. I'm post. I'm dropping the pick. And he posted this picture of him

[A]

as a doctor, bro.

[C]

As a doctor.

[A]

He's a doctor. Why would anybody think he's not a doctor? Doesn't your doctor look like that?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

When you go get your knee checked, doesn't your doctor come in with a plate full of baba canoes and start rubbing your Achilles? Isn't that what your doctor looks like?

[C]

I expect my doctor to be dressed like this based on his ethnicity most of the time, oftentimes. But, I mean, it's hilarious that Trump's like, I'm not Jesus. Come on. Obviously a doctor. And the Red Cross. I love the Red Cross. That's his defense of this.

[A]

What's the. What's the iron man in his hand?

[C]

Oh, that's the light.

[A]

Oh, who. Oh, yeah. Does the doctor bring that to you?

[C]

Of course.

[B]

Nah, that's the you know, make sure your pupils is. You know.

[A]

But he took it down.

[C]

He did.

[A]

He didn't take down the. He didn't take down the Obama.

[B]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

The Obama monkey thing.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

He didn't.

[B]

No.

[C]

Wow. Wow.

[B]

I know.

[C]

Now, this is what he says in response. So they go, so why'd you post a picture of you as Jesus? And this is what he says.

[A]

I did post it, and I thought it was me as a doctor and had to do with Red Cross. As a Red Cross worker there, which we support. And only the fake news could come up with that one. So I only. I had. I just heard about it, and I said, how did they come up with that? It's supposed to be me as a doctor.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

Making people better. And I do make people better. I make people a lot better. As an example, the 11,000. I understand your husband's going through treatment. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. He's going through some very serious cancer treatment. So, yes, this goes along.

[B]

He sounds like me trying to get my point out before.

[C]

Now, keep in mind, the woman that he. The woman that he's talking to right

[A]

there is a doordash delivery woman. She's a grandma that got to work doordash delivering Burger King to the White House. Oh, my God.

[C]

But also, there's a little fugazi with that.

[A]

Tell me.

[C]

Well, people pointed out that that woman.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Sharon Simmons, I believe is her name.

[A]

Oh, she. I don't.

[C]

I don't know if she is or isn't working for doordash, but she is a Trump supporter from Nevada.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

And she was over there and, like, spoke at one of his things and, like, talked. I don't know exactly what the context was, but she was in connection with Trump in some capacity as, like, a supporter, and then goes to D.C. to deliver him McDonald's. So people are like, oh, well, this is obviously. You obviously, like, brought her over for this PR thing, but why would you

[A]

bring a grandma that needs to work doordash?

[C]

Because they're talking about taxation on tips.

[A]

Yeah, but, like, pause it for a second.

[C]

Isn't.

[A]

People don't want to live. Don't we want to live in a country where grandmas don't have to work doordash, where grandmas get to be retired regardless of like. Like, what kind of delusional reality are we living in, where he's parading around the grandma that's working doordash so she can afford for. To pay her husband's cancer bills, and he's like, see, we're not Doing tips. Like, there's a whole other issue at hand here that we need to be focused on.

[C]

Yeah, no, yeah, that's funny.

[A]

Like, when you see, like, the. The grandpa, whatever, who's the greeter at Walmart, like, and I understand that's actually

[C]

a good job for the old people. That one. I'm actually down with getting out the

[A]

house and not just sitting around watching TV all day, waving and connecting with people.

[C]

That adds years to his life.

[A]

Yes. Also, you're joking, but I think it does.

[C]

I'm being deadly serious. Keep him in a house all day.

[A]

No, I agree.

[C]

Let people steal from Walmart. That's what their job should be.

[B]

Yo, son, you ever go to, like, the car rest stops and then like, the food court, they have like, riri's handing out popcorn.

[A]

And you know what? You know what, Al? That shit, Al, we were just doing something that was good and positive. We were doing something good and positive.

[B]

And then I feel good about that. It's like, yo, they getting out the house. They're doing something.

[A]

Yeah, that is great. But they take. Are they taking a couple bites out your popcorn now? Are they getting in there?

[C]

Come on, bro.

[B]

Al, that was you.

[A]

That was you just feeling good.

[C]

You need to get confirmed, bro. You need to get confirmed and give your life to.

[A]

You need to get confirmed. It's hardened. That's what you need to get confirmed.

[C]

You need to spell confirmation.

[A]

You just fell confirmation a couple years, bro.

[C]

My buddy Mike started out of this joke. He's like, I was going through the checkout line at the grocery store and the bag boy was standing there, and the cashier was like, do you want to donate a dollar for kids with down syndrome? And the bag boy had down syndrome. Nah. And he was like, so we just gave the bag boy a dollar. He was like, here you go.

[B]

Yeah, that's great.

[A]

Let the middleman out, guys. We're back on the road. We're hitting it. Here are the dates. Tampa, we're going to be there next weekend. Sold out. We appreciate you. I'll let you know if we're going to add any shows there. Denver, May 1st and 2nd. Sold out. We appreciate it. I will let you know if we're going to add more days. Very possible to add a show in each city, depending how long is Salt Lake also sold out, but also possible add something there. And Halifax, Nova Scotia, the great outdoors fest. That's going to be a wild one. Cam Patterson coming. Lucas Zelnick coming. Mark Gagnon coming. All right, we'll be adding Some more shows. So make sure you check either my instagram or theandrew. Scholz.com Mark, what you got?

[C]

Yes. First April 23rd, Providence, Rhode Island, Comedy Connection. And then April 28th, we're doing the show at Mary Lou in New York City. If you want to come by and see a showcase with me, Joey Avery, and a bunch of good comics in New York, maybe the best comics arguably. And then at the end of the year, I'm hitting a bunch of spots. I'm going to mic drop in Plano, Texas. Chandler, Arizona. The Ice House in Pasadena and San Diego and Detroit in the, you know, wintertime. I can't wait to see you guys there. And Aakash is going to be at Raider City this Saturday.

[A]

Yes. Akash. Radio City this Saturday, gang. Ready to soundtrack your summer with Red

[B]

Bull Summer All Day Play.

[A]

You choose a playlist that fits your summer vibe the best. Are you a festival fanatic, a deep end dj, a road dog, or a trail mixer? Just add a song to your chosen playlist and put your summer on track.

[B]

Red Bull Summer All Day Play.

[A]

Red Bull gives you wings. Visit Red Bull.com BrightSummerAhead to learn more. See you this summer.

[C]

Yeah, this woman just walks up and is delivering McDonald's, which this is. The other issue with immigration is that I've never seen a doordash person look like this. Yeah, this is what happens, dude, when you round up too many, Too many migrants. All of a sudden you got white grandmas doing doordash.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, but that's what they want because they say the migrants is taking all the jobs.

[C]

Exactly. Get some work. Nanny, get in there. I mean, and he's. He pulls up. Oh, thanks so much. Is he sponsored by McDonald's?

[B]

It has to be.

[C]

Yeah, right?

[A]

Yeah. Also, you don't need to label the Oval Office.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

The sign outside's crazy. Did you see the sign outside? It's not a bathroom. Like, we know what the wrong is.

[B]

It says it like, right.

[A]

It's in gold cursive. The Oval Office.

[C]

No, it's.

[A]

We know what office is.

[C]

Come on.

[B]

You know, Trump, they got it. Everything's big, it's gold, everything.

[A]

There's one room that's an oval.

[C]

Also, you know how doordash goes. It's annoying when they're at the wrong door. So you gotta call and be like, no, come.

[A]

We gotta believe. They let this grandma onto the premises of the White House and she's just

[C]

going door to door. Yeah, you got to tell him exactly which story you gotta Label it. I actually think that's smart. That's a good move. I mean, wild. I also, I wonder if he likes McDonald's because his name's kind of in

[A]

it without him even realizing it. She's like, there's just something about it. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Once he starts liking burger, can we be concerned?

[B]

That's good. That's good.

[C]

Apparently, he loves Wendy's now.

[A]

Don't do it. Don't do it. You're not gonna catch me. You're not gonna catch me.

[C]

But people have pointed out this.

[A]

Not gonna catch me. My boy. All time.

[C]

Great clip.

[B]

Oh, boss, you're the best.

[C]

People have pointed out this picture. They go, who's he healing? Like, as a doctor? What. What. What person is he fixing here?

[B]

But I saw.

[C]

Zoom in.

[B]

I saw John Stewart. Yeah, that looked very much like him.

[A]

Jon Stewart does like a 32nd Jon Stewart.

[C]

Some people are like, is he healing, Epstein?

[A]

Maybe a little bit. Oh, you know who that guy looks like back there with the white beard? The guy who cooks food for everybody. He's a restaurateur chef. And then he has, like a feed the world or something on this project. Jose something or other. Oh, God.

[B]

Start over. Take a break.

[A]

No, Jose. What's his name? Andres.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[C]

No, you dialed.

[B]

Yeah, that was. That was.

[A]

I might be right.

[C]

Yo, he put a Jose on there.

[A]

Yo, but Jose is. He's a. This is. I mean, obviously probably has controversy, and I'm gonna compliment this guy. Sometimes things can be good.

[C]

Sometimes things can be good.

[A]

But nah, this guy is like that dude. He's just walking around to wartime places and developing these, like, food kitchens so he could feed all these hungry people. It's, like, really amazing. That's sick. Yeah, that's awesome.

[C]

No, there's nothing wrong with this guy.

[A]

Yeah, he's a good guy in it. Okay, who's the girl right there? I don't know. Who's that? Who's that little girl? Oh, who's that? That little nurse at the bottom? Hey, Trump might be a doctor. You got Melania down there with the stethoscope and the tilted hat.

[B]

She's already on her knees.

[A]

Yo. Come on, bro. Ow.

[B]

God. It's an AI picture.

[A]

It's actually funny. Like, no matter what Al says,

[C]

trying positive. And then the craziest part, if you

[A]

scroll Henry Cavill out there in the infantry outfit.

[C]

Nice jawline.

[A]

Beautiful jawline. How you get a jaw?

[C]

Oh, you got a.

[A]

Do you have to.

[C]

You got to smash bone. What is m? What you got to smash Bone. What?

[B]

You got it. You got to smashing bone. You ain't smashing bone, bro.

[C]

Yeah. You just launched a booger all over my face.

[A]

Right? Is it booger all over my face? That's wild. Good clothes. Don't even find me a napkin, because it's going right on my palm.

[C]

No, come on.

[A]

I'll use the left hand in case we need to dap up throughout the pod. That was more than I thought it was. That was more than I thought it was probably still in that mustache. Let's keep going. Also, what is even called the clouds? Is that ball?

[C]

Well, so the thing is. So this picture was originally posted. Ball.

[A]

Ball. Yeah, ball.

[C]

Balls in your mouth. No. So this was.

[A]

This was. This was posted. Got you. That was a ruse. The Jews started three years ago. Like, one way we would get the entire world, you know, this link was promised to us.

[C]

So this picture was originally posted in February by this guy. I forgot what his name is. But he's, like, close to Trump. And so he posts the picture, and if you look at the picture on the left, that's the OG that he posted. And it looks like there's kind of like angels, like, you know, kind of regular.

[B]

It looks like fallen soldiers.

[C]

No, it's cavalry angels, bro. It's angels ready for war, wearing the whole armor of God.

[B]

They're angels. They're dead.

[A]

Nah, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

[B]

Angels aren't dead.

[C]

No.

[A]

They exist in the spirit world, you agnostic. Just sit there and pay attention. As the Catholic explains to you. Out of here. So they edit the image to put ball up in there.

[C]

So for some reason it hasn't been disclosed, they switch it up where they put, like, an angel with horns.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

And people are like, is that the Antichrist? Like, what are you doing?

[B]

Yeah, why are you doing.

[C]

So it's a little. It looks like Megatron. A little. It looks like a Transformer. Yeah. But I don't get why. And there hasn't been really an explanation for what's going on with that.

[B]

So what's up? What's going on over there, bro? What the is going on?

[A]

But he deleted it. Huh? He walked that back.

[C]

Yeah. Christians this pissed off. All the Christians pissed off. The. The Muslims, obviously. The Issa bin Miriam, you know, peace be upon him. And he's imitating a Jewish guy.

[A]

What'd you do there?

[C]

That's. That's the name of the prophet. Jesus Christ in Islam is.

[A]

Is what?

[C]

Isa bin Miriam.

[A]

Issa ben Miriam.

[C]

Yes, that's his name.

[A]

Why wouldn't they just call him Jesus

[C]

because they call him Suleiman Musa. They got. They switch it up. You know what I mean?

[A]

That's disrespectful

[C]

to the Arabic.

[A]

We don't swing it to nothing. A name is a name. A name is a name. Jesus.

[B]

God Jehovah, it's Jesus.

[C]

Well, it might not even be Jesus. It might be Yeshua. Yeah.

[A]

Nope, nope. We're not doing that translation. Fine. I'mma call ggping whatever I want you do already. Mark, don't tell people. Mark, don't tell people when I told him so.

[C]

Oh, wait, what is this? Time Person of the year for 2026

[A]

now, the time Person of the Year isn't necessarily a good thing. Not always, because there's been Hitler one time, personally.

[C]

Yeah. Really? Yeah, the COVID piece.

[A]

So it's just like, who gets the most attention in a year?

[C]

I mean, it's like the most, like, significant or influential person that year.

[A]

Bad or good? Yeah.

[C]

But, yeah, they threw Hitty up there. Centerfold.

[A]

And who was number two? Zoe.

[C]

Yeah, Big Z.

[A]

Big Z.

[B]

Big Zoe.

[C]

And he's going up now over the Pope.

[A]

Pope Leo really only got it from Beef. If you think about it, like, if you're not mentioning Trump's name, nobody's really talking about Pope Leo. If. If we're being honest, outside of that, what is he doing?

[C]

I mean, he's leading the. You know, the world to Christ.

[A]

Yes, of course. But I like him leaning in a little bit more. Put a little pressure on Trump's ass. You want to get these wars stopped? Put some pressure. You got 1.4 billion people on your back. Yeah.

[C]

And he is. I mean.

[B]

Oh, wow. I'm on the list, too.

[C]

What?

[B]

Al,

[C]

that's cute.

[A]

Come on. That was cute. That was cute. Bad bunny. It goes Trump, Zoramdani. Pope Leo, bad bunny. And somehow he is up 12%.

[C]

Who's that? Reed Wiseman. Who's that?

[B]

I've never even heard that name anyway.

[C]

But yeah, that's basically the. The Trump battling all the Christians. He's an astronaut. Oh, shout out to him.

[A]

Oh, yeah, wow.

[B]

He's gonna be up there.

[A]

Not the.

[B]

Where's the black guy?

[A]

Yup. Talk it.

[B]

Come on.

[C]

Loki. It should be Epstein, bro.

[B]

Jackie Robinson.

[A]

Well, Epstein's dead. Can you win it if you're dead posthumously? Yes. Can you win it posthumously?

[C]

I don't know. Probably not.

[B]

Wait, Hitler won it when he was still alive?

[A]

Yeah. 1938.

[B]

Time was out at that time. I know Tom's at home.

[A]

That's Also funny that you're like. Like, after he's died, time's like, now we gotta give it up. We only love rappers.

[C]

We only love rappers when they die, bro.

[A]

Oh, no.

[C]

Al just found out. About time. That's hilarious. All right, man. So, yeah, that's that. All right.

[A]

So was Melania trafficked or what? Like, can we just.

[C]

That's okay. This is wild. This is all.

[A]

What's the conspiracy? What's the alleged.

[C]

Don't sue us. Can we just say there's an ongoing lawsuit about this exact topic right now?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And I don't feel like being in a loss.

[A]

Can you just tell me what the toll was for Melania's straight of or move. Can you just tell me what the fee was back in the day? Allegedly. Just as alleged. This is all due respect.

[C]

Is it? Is it?

[A]

This is. With all due respect, I don't want to get arrested, dude.

[C]

I'm.

[A]

I'm just going to say this. There might be somebody that's been on this podcast for a long time that's not white nor Indian, that has been saying this. This exact thing.

[B]

Yo, why you trying to get me killed? Yo, I love my life. I'm not. But I heard some things about Melania.

[A]

Wait a minute. Are you trying to tell me that you heard a rumor that an incredibly attractive Eastern European might have been an escort back in the day?

[B]

Whoa, whoa. I' ma just say she had another job. I don't know what that job was.

[C]

You said that she might have been doing doordash. She might have been doordash. I don't know.

[B]

Whoa. That's crazy. That's Andrew Shose.

[A]

I mean, like, if. If we're just gonna be honest about that part of the world, Chances are

[C]

a lot of orthodox over there.

[A]

Yeah, a lot of orthodoxy. That's where the Orthodox church is really thriving right now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If we're being.

[C]

And what else about them you were saying?

[A]

It. It. Unfortunately, circumstances have led to a lot of them seeking sex work.

[B]

Yeah, allegedly.

[A]

Allegedly.

[B]

Allegedly. I heard a rumor that she was selling pussy back in the day.

[C]

Whoa.

[A]

Ow.

[C]

Now, that would obviously be absurd.

[B]

Yeah, I would be. Crazy.

[A]

Absurd.

[B]

Yeah, but like, allegedly.

[A]

But what Julia Roberts does in that movie, it's, like, romantic and fun.

[B]

That's what I'm trying to say.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It is a double standard.

[B]

It's a beautiful woman.

[A]

It's a beautiful woman. Pretty shining personal.

[C]

So she comes out apparently without Trump knowing. That's the wild thing. She does the press conference, and apparently Trump's doing, like, an Interview with like Ms. Now or something. They're like, yeah. So Milania said some stuff about Epstein. He's like, huh, get out of here.

[A]

This is what.

[C]

That's what I heard. I didn't confirm them.

[A]

That's out of here.

[C]

Which is hilarious.

[A]

They starting to look like each other, man, don't. Come on. They start to look like each other.

[B]

I don't know if that's a knock on her.

[A]

You trying to say Trump is cute? Nah, I like how you had to throw that in with it. Yeah. Cuz it was too much. Too much.

[C]

So she comes out of nowhere and basically just. I mean, we can watch a little bit of it if you want. Just.

[A]

You don't think they look a little like.

[B]

Nah, come on, she's holding up.

[A]

No, she's absolutely beautiful. But if you put Trump in a wind tunnel, he just had like his skin stretched. The lipo. The lipo, yeah.

[C]

All right, hold on. Play just a little bit, just so you can get the vibe.

[A]

Remember, this is someone's mom, man. Yeah. The lies linking me with the disgraceful Jeffrey Epstein need to end today. See, individuals lying about me are devoid of ethical standards.

[C]

Ethical standards.

[A]

Humility.

[C]

Humility and respect. Respect.

[A]

I do not object to their ignorance, but rather I reject their mean spirited attempts to defame my reputation. All right, pause.

[C]

She's talking about ul. She. She's talking about the people that are just besmirching her name.

[B]

She talked about shows. I said she had another job.

[A]

I never said anything. I said that there was a guy on this podcast who's not white or Indian that had claimed that she might have done some things in the past and that you heard.

[B]

Why are you snitching on Joey's Puerto Rican ass?

[A]

It could have been Joey. It could have been Joey. I don't know, but Joey, Yeah, Joey. Somebody had said that there are rumors about this.

[C]

Now the thing about this that's interesting is that it comes out of basically nowhere, Right? Like you have people saying, like, oh, Trump's doing the war in Iran to cover from the Epstein files. Which I don't think that's wholly true. I think that's a byproduct. But then the second, like, there's a ceasefire, Melania comes out. She's like, I'm not. I don't know, Epstein.

[A]

Well, because there was a leaked. What was it? There was a leaked report to the Daily Caller or something like that. Did you guys see this? That's what she's reacting.

[C]

Well, that's what the suspicion is that she's getting ahead of a story.

[A]

So the story dropped already before she did this press conference.

[C]

What story specifically?

[A]

Yeah, I think it was the Daily Caller.

[C]

Did what?

[A]

Joey's gonna bring it up right now.

[B]

But it's funny, when she did this shit, I was like, you probably too young for this, but the early days of social media, you would always know when a couple's beefing. When a girl just starts posting some quote like, oh, like, oh, I'm too strong to deal with this guy. Got me? Or some shit like that. You know, she's arguing with her worst.

[C]

You don't deserve me and my best.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

And I thought that was the version they must be beefing right now. She's like, oh, word. Heard I' ma just put some heat back on his Epstein. That's what I thought initially, but then I started hearing about the Amanda chick.

[C]

Yeah, that's a part of the ripple that I think is the most interesting.

[A]

Okay, well, what's the Amanda chick? So can you look at, like, some leaked story?

[C]

There's a completely untrue allegation that I think is extremely absurd from Michael Wolf.

[A]

Michael Wolf is the guy who wrote the book about Trump. Right.

[C]

And he alleged, based off his own sources. Again, I don't know. This is an ongoing lawsuit that it's possible that Epstein was the one that connected them on the private jet. You may have heard that theory. That's where. That's more or less where it comes from. And that he was the connecting piece. And there's a guy that's connected to Trump that's like, was appointed by. Into some special office in 2020. He stayed under Biden, and then he gets appointed again in this new administration. He is this guy, Paolo Zimpoli. He's friends with Epstein from back in the day. He denies any type of wrongdoing with Epstein and was unaware of any of his crimes, of course.

[A]

And.

[C]

And he gets married to a woman, and her name is. Can you pull up her name?

[B]

He used to run a modeling agency.

[C]

Yes, he ran a modeling agency. And he is married to a woman. They divorce. And then there's a woman who's 16 years old. Her name's like, Amanda Aguaro. I think she's Argentinian or something. She's 16 years old, flies on Epstein's Lolita Express to America for modeling. And then when she's of age, she marries Paolo Zampoli.

[B]

Her agent was John Luc Br.

[A]

Whatever.

[C]

The John Luc Bernau.

[A]

The guy who. The French dude who was connected with Epstein. Procuring all the models and who famously committed suicide.

[C]

Yes, yes, yes. In France.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

And they have a kid and then they divorce. Paulo Zimpoli and his ex wife now are like, estranged. He calls ICE on her to get her deported back to. I think she. Maybe she's Brazilian. I can't remember. If you can find out exactly.

[B]

Yeah, she's Brazilian. She was running an illegal Botox clinic. And then a tip came in that this clinic was happening, so they locked her up. Then ICE came in, put her in a detention center for three months, and

[C]

they're trying to work to deport her right now.

[A]

Nah, nah, she's deported. She's fully deported.

[B]

She's back in jail right now.

[A]

You gotta put someone in prison for that shit. What do you mean putting Botox? Putting Botox in women illegally.

[C]

I didn't even know that. That part.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

That's what her business was and that's

[B]

what they snitched on that.

[A]

Oh, we're supposed to feel bad for this woman? She's putting Botoxing Miami.

[B]

That's like a Starbucks.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

We need to see how good the Botox was before.

[A]

Yeah, I need to see some of the work.

[C]

But this guy Paolo allegedly calls ICE on his own ex wife.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

To get her deported back to Brazil. They have a kid.

[A]

All right, let's just open that up. Let's have a discussion about that.

[C]

Okay, okay. No, I feel like you're picking.

[A]

I just want to have a discussion about it. How you're situation where you could use that as a leverage point at any point in time.

[B]

I would never.

[A]

I know.

[B]

You would never let me wake up upset one day.

[A]

I'm just saying you wouldn't do it, but would you. Would you like, would you throw it out there? Would you?

[B]

No, man.

[A]

No, Never. You would never even an argument be like, man?

[B]

Nah. Because I learned from a friend in a previous situation, that's a crime.

[C]

What happened?

[B]

You can't threaten to call ICE on somebody leaving. Deal. It's like a crime that.

[A]

Did that happen?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's a crime to kill that person.

[B]

Tell you later.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's a threat. It's a crime to threaten justice.

[B]

It's nuts.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

But then somehow that girl used this situation to be able to stay longer, even though she was. Had overstayed. But now she's in like, criminal lawsuit, so she was just able to stay long out here. Crazy.

[C]

So now you can't do that.

[B]

That guy don't. That's why he didn't threaten her. He just snitched on.

[A]

He just snitched immediately. Oh, you don't threaten.

[B]

You don't threaten.

[C]

You don't brandish like extortion, I guess.

[A]

Exactly.

[C]

Like, if you don't do this for me, then I'm going to ruin your life.

[A]

Yes, yes, yes, that makes sense. I like that. You shouldn't be able to do that. You should never do that to your ex fiance.

[C]

And no human is illegal according to Pope Leo. And I stand with him.

[A]

So I agree on that one.

[C]

Shout out, Leo. I agree. No human is illegal. Blow it up.

[B]

If you down, throw it up.

[A]

It's not illegal to be a human. It's not illegal to be a human. Almost. Yeah. You know, how do you do that so fast?

[C]

There's just something genetically you got. You just like have like mind body connection.

[A]

But do you think there's like a blood that does speak sign language? Like, is there a deaf blood crip

[B]

who's like, imagine that's how it started.

[A]

There's got to be one, right?

[B]

It's like, what are we calling? Call each other.

[A]

I'mma kill you. But there's got to be one, right? There's got to be one out there.

[C]

That's so funny.

[A]

He's the best at it.

[C]

Oh, yeah. He keeps the best secrets. You could do any crime with him. They'd be like, snitch.

[A]

How you whisper. We can sign language. Oh, yeah. Is it like, do you make it little? Like how you caps lock it? Like, what is like. I need to know emotion behind American.

[C]

Behind the back a little.

[A]

Just throw it away real quick.

[C]

I mean, imagine the.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Say the de Blood gets arrested.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And he just can't talk. He's just tied up. Just hand exactly like, tell him what happened.

[A]

Put mittens on him. Yeah, you put mittens on him.

[C]

And they try to give him the Miranda rights. He's like, I can't. I'm not talking about. That's wild.

[B]

That's where no snitching came from. Oh, see, how do you even arrest the death? Not a stitch.

[A]

Speaking of, I want you to exhale all your air. All your air. Exhale all your air. Assassination attempts. I want you exhale all the air. And then I want you to try to scream. Exhale every bit of air and then try to scream as loud as you possibly can. Why did you scream? Try to scream. Like, try to then scream. I just tried scream to save your life. Imagine your. Your fiance is getting deported. Scream is savior. Yeah, you're telling Her. Which part of Spain? Barcelona. All right, one more time. Go.

[B]

No. What?

[A]

What the is this?

[B]

Yeah, you do it.

[A]

It's if. Okay. What they basically say is if you have more like, a masculine lungs that you can breathe all the air out of your body and you can still scream if you have more feminized lungs. Sometimes people have from hookah or smoking cigarettes, sucking cocks a lot in your life.

[B]

You got tits. You should be able to do that

[A]

on top of it. Tits are on top of it. Nothing. It warms up the l. So I'll give you one more chance.

[B]

No, I'm not doing this. You do it. There's something up right now.

[A]

Easy, easy. You go. You go. I got it. Can you do it?

[C]

I got it.

[A]

It.

[C]

Ah.

[B]

What the is this?

[A]

You ever seen a turtle tik tok?

[C]

You ever seen a turtle have sex?

[B]

You got to stop watching tik tok.

[A]

I know.

[C]

I got to get.

[B]

You got it.

[A]

I got to get off it.

[C]

That's what a turtle having sex sounds like. It's a very specific reference, but I can't believe it.

[A]

Why they actually make that sound? Yeah.

[C]

Can you pull up a turtle having sex immediately?

[B]

Both of y need to get off. Tik tok.

[A]

What the Mil knows what it is. Why the headphones on so hard? This looks so hard right now. You either have the headphones on or off, bro. Know.

[C]

Yeah. Look at.

[B]

This is America.

[C]

No, this is legal. No, we need. We need audio.

[A]

I'm sorry. This is kind of a. Dude, it's

[C]

majorly an audio kind of. You don't remember the scene from Heated Robbery? You don't remember?

[B]

Yeah, so they not pumping.

[A]

They just.

[B]

Just breathing. Yeah,

[A]

he got a little vagina in his mouth. Do you see that thing opening up?

[C]

You. That's. That's a trap.

[A]

That is a trap.

[C]

That's how they get you.

[A]

But it might be worth it. No, no, no, no. It might be worth it.

[C]

Not worth it.

[A]

That's. Look at that little thing in there.

[B]

Open it up.

[A]

Come here. Come here. Stop this immediately. I thought that was gonna bomb, but that was amazing.

[C]

Oh, man.

[A]

You didn't know that turtle got throat, did you didn't know that?

[C]

I didn't know.

[A]

I had no clue. I didn't know they were throated, dude. Oh, man.

[C]

Oh, but anyway, so, Melania.

[A]

Remember those girls, man?

[C]

Okay, stop yourself.

[A]

Back in the day. I'm just saying, way back in the day.

[C]

My nephew watches this.

[A]

Can we stop? So far, yeah, his nephew's watching. Listen, there's some girls out There.

[B]

That sound just like turtles, huh?

[A]

Focus. They got another mouth in their mouth, man.

[B]

Oh, the back mouth.

[A]

The back is crazy. I think that's where that alien thing came from. Remember that Sigourney Weaver alien movie where like the little mouth came out? Yeah. There was dudes watching that, like, oh, I. I've been. I've been with one of them.

[B]

Y. Suck my soul.

[A]

Sucked it right out. All right, guys, take a break for a second. Clear your mind, clear your heart, clear your soul. You gotta talk about some stuff, man. You're going through something. You're gonna get through it by sharing it, getting it off your chest, talking a professional, keeping it inside, ruminating it all day is guaranteed misery. Talk Space is the number one rated online therapy bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists that you can access anytime, anywhere. It's easy to get started. You can easily sign up online and get paired with a licensed provider, typically within 48 hours. Talkspace makes getting help convenient. You can take your appointments from your own home and you can even talk it out between sessions by sending text messages to your therapist. Get therapy and medication all in one place. Unlike other telehealth companies, psychiatry is available through Talkspace. So you can get the medication you need to supplement your talk therapy if needed. Talkspace gives high quality care that's backed by science. Talkspace partners with major research institutions to validate their treatment methods, making sure you receive the best care possible from anywhere. Talkspace makes getting the help you need easy, accessible and affordable. Plus, most insured members have a zero dollar co pay. Therapy is absolutely fantastic. I cannot tell you how much I have benefited from here. It millions of people around the world benefit from it. You should be one of them. As a listener of this podcast, you're going to get $80 off your first month with Talk Space when you go to Talkspace.com flagrant and enter the promo code SPACE80. That's S P A C E 80. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com flagarant and enter the promo code SPACE80. Guys, here's something worth thinking about. The average employer has to sort through 250 resumes for a single job. That's not a hiring process. That's a part time job. And most of the time, the right person is buried somewhere in that pile. And that's exactly why ZipRecruiter exists. If you're hiring, they just rolled out a new feature that changes the game. It surfaces the most interested and most qualified candidates at the top of Your list so you're not wasting time digging. And right now you can try it for [e-mail] flagrant their matching technology is genuinely impressive. It doesn't just find people with the right credentials. It identifies candidates who are actively engaged and serious about your role. The most motivated applicants rise to the top automatically. And here's the stat that says it all. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. That's why it's the number one rated hiring site based on G2. The results speak for themselves. So cut through the standard and go get to the standouts with Zip Recruiter. Okay. Try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com flagrant. That's ZipRecruiter.com flagrtant meet your match on ZipRecruiter. Now let's get back to the show. If he sues the Pope, what do we do?

[C]

Well, people want the Pope to run president now, which I didn't even know that was possible. Church and state, Pope guy. Church and state back together again at last.

[A]

Yo, Pope Leo. But now, does he run as a Democrat or a conservative?

[C]

Catholic.

[A]

He runs as a Catholic.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Catholic party.

[B]

Because then you get the evangelicals. You get.

[A]

No, I don't know if the jellies are gonna like it.

[C]

Don't come around. Christ is king.

[A]

Christ is king.

[B]

Wait, Hope's not their daddy?

[C]

No, they.

[A]

In my opinion, Jesus is their daddy. Yeah, Jesus is your daddy, too. Say it. Say it.

[C]

Christ is king, bro.

[A]

Say it.

[B]

Hey, Trey.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Anti Sam Semite yo.

[A]

Stop being so anti, yo.

[B]

That's crazy. That's crazy.

[A]

How dare you believe in your God.

[B]

I know you anti Semite dude.

[A]

You believe in your Lord and savior, bro.

[C]

Christ is king.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Oh, my.

[C]

Why is that bad?

[A]

I'm not.

[B]

Nah.

[C]

Why is that bad?

[B]

Kanye over here like this crazy just

[A]

said your Lord and savior, Jesus Christ. You think is the king of kings. Yeah, but why do you. Why do you hate the Jews?

[C]

No, no, no, no, no.

[A]

Why would you Jews so much by saying that?

[C]

No, no, I don't hate the Jews. Come on.

[A]

No, but you just said that you believe in your God.

[C]

Yeah, exactly. Christ is king.

[A]

Oh, my. Come on. We. I have a movie coming out.

[C]

What should I say as a ca.

[A]

They're going to edit me out of Street Fighter. Come on, dude. They're gonna save the movie. Come on. It's gonna be a box office.

[C]

A box office sensation.

[A]

It's gonna be easy.

[B]

Edit.

[A]

They're gonna cut my scene. Yo, yo, Trump, he said your wife is a hoe, man. He said it up. He said it. I'll just let y' all know I'm just snitching right now. Okay. While we taking Sean. Okay. It's mutually short destruction over here. Shaheen drone to you. Shaheen drone to you. Okay, Everybody's getting it.

[C]

Can we focus on the issues at hand here?

[A]

Tell us about Amanda Bula.

[C]

No, no, we're done with that.

[A]

Amanda Bonds. Yes. Yeah, tell us about Amanda Bonds.

[C]

Shout out to Amanda Bonds. She's gonna make it a comeback, is she?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You haven't seen her? No, no, she's coming. She's swinging it back around.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Swinging on it.

[A]

Can you focus on the issue, though?

[C]

Yeah, I mean, what's the issue? Well,

[A]

the issue to me seems that your level of anti Semitism by believing in your Lord and savior, it's crazy.

[B]

Look, absurd levels.

[C]

Everyone can worship who they want to worship, but for me, Christ.

[A]

Yo, that's all it is, bro. What?

[C]

That's all it is.

[A]

Nah, he's king, bro. He's king. He's king. Who's queen?

[B]

Jews,

[A]

man.

[B]

I don't know, man. Five point star.

[A]

What the hands signs.

[C]

Like, he just thinks.

[A]

That quick. You was Chinese for a whole 10 years. He does

[C]

even his jacket turn into an Israeli flag right now?

[A]

It's turning blue. All right.

[C]

Iran's propaganda is destroying us right now.

[A]

Yo, man.

[C]

And we need to stop this.

[A]

Whoever's. Whoever's running Iranian Twitter. You got it, bro. You got it.

[B]

Listen, can we hide him?

[A]

No, no, no. Can I tell you what the real issue is, if I have to be honest here, is black people don't care about this war or don't want the war. So our. Our Twitter is not gas. If you don't have black Twitter, it's not gas.

[C]

That's a good point.

[A]

Simple as that.

[B]

No, I hear no lies.

[A]

I'm telling. If you want. If you want to win the Twitter war.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Black people need to support it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because black Twitter is going to run it. Concern. The Twitter was funny. When Dems are in charge, now that Republicans are in charge, it's just whiny. It's too emotional. When Dems are in charge, they had heat, they had the memes. It was fun. But now it's just, like, too much. It feels like too much propaganda.

[B]

They turned into the soy boys.

[A]

Yes, they did. They went full soy boys. But this Iranian Twitter, bro. Yeah.

[C]

Is unbelievable. And it's getting posted by the Iran embassy.

[A]

I don't know if it's actually the Iran embassy or their fake Twitter accounts claiming to be. Because it would be like Iran of Zimbabwe.

[C]

Yeah, well, this is embassy of. Of South Africa. I don't know, like, if every embassy gets their own Twitter and if that's sanctioned, but it's. They have the links and they got some followers. So I'm inclined to be like, should

[A]

we call them up? They got a number on there.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Give them a radio.

[B]

That would be.

[A]

I think we might need to just call them up.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yo, who's running it?

[C]

Yeah, your phone.

[A]

Let me call this. Die.

[B]

Die.

[A]

What? Should I star 67? You think that's. Should I star 67?

[C]

Yeah. How are they ever going to know me by star 67?

[A]

Yeah. Wait, wait, wait.

[C]

He got worm.

[B]

Old Palantir is about to send a DRO right now.

[A]

Y.

[C]

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold

[A]

on, hold on, hold on. Did Star67 not work? You know what? All right, so there was this thing back in the day to. To the young people. You don't understand. If you didn't want somebody to know who was calling, calling, you would dial star 67 before you call. So essentially would like block your number because there was a thing called Star 69, which if you missed a call, it would tell you the last number that called you. Right.

[C]

I never knew that.

[A]

So if you want to make sure. If you prank calling or doing something like that back in the day, prank calls are very fun. Before you had caller ID. So you would hit star 67 and then call.

[C]

Wait, what was your best prank call?

[A]

Well, we'll get into that. We'll get into that. But

[C]

now

[A]

what was trying to think

[B]

of a prank call.

[A]

No, no, no. It was crazy. It was great. Also, once there was three way calling, it just got.

[C]

Oh, the three way.

[A]

The trizzy was crazy. I got roped in a crazy trizzy. A girl called me that I thought was my friend. She had this other girl on the line. She gets me to start talking about the other girl. The other girl starts chiming in, you

[C]

got set up, and then you shut up.

[B]

Smacked her like.

[A]

Eight ball. No, but star 67, they probably do have our number somewhere. I'm saying, like the same hubris that we operated with Star 67 is like the. The Epstein files with emails. And like. Like people thought you would never be able to get your email hacked.

[C]

Yeah, right.

[A]

Like they thought there was not even a chance in the world. They're like, no, I have a password. Nobody could ever contain this information.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's probably everything in our lives. If you can hear a dude's heartbeat. Did you hear they found like the dude in. Around the. The American soldier based off his heartbeat. They can hear your. They have some technology where they can hear your heartbeat from space so they can detect a guy's heartbeat. So they climb to a mountain where there's no other people around, so it's just your heartbeat. And then we can like. We use some audio technology to remove all the other sounds and just detect that, and then we'll go get you.

[C]

That's crazy.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So they know we're good gooning. You see the FBI.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Every time you goon it, they got you. They're clocking you 100. They got you.

[A]

Especially whoop whoop stays listening to you beat off. You don't think that there's a dude in India right now that's like assigned to you?

[C]

Just.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Either turtles have sex.

[A]

Mark's trying to meet his steps for today. CI CIA used futuristic new tool called I can't read ghost murmur to find and rescue the second American airman who was shot down in southern Iran.

[C]

Why stop posting all of our cool stuff?

[A]

That is why they put it all out there. That is a great.

[B]

But you gotta flex because it's gonna take him forever and try to repeat that.

[C]

Yeah. But then eventually they catch up. What if we never told anyone about nukes? What if we just kept it in the tuck? We never told anyone. We're like, yeah, we don't them we got. We got nothing. Every be like, oh, we're good.

[B]

You got to show it. You.

[A]

Wait, hold on. You think people have them?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Come on. No one has nukes.

[C]

They do, bro. Or they could have them. They could.

[A]

Y' all believe in nukes? Get out of here.

[B]

What angle is this?

[A]

Stupid ass. Wait, wait. Do you. Do you seriously believe in nukes or not? Yes. Yeah.

[C]

Manhattan probably.

[B]

People go check and make sure and they count.

[A]

There's no. There's no nukes.

[C]

Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

[A]

Where's the fallout?

[C]

It's over there.

[A]

But where's the fallout? You haven't seen any warped up Japanese, have you?

[C]

I've seen a couple.

[A]

Now you haven't.

[C]

Shohei Otani.

[A]

They was doing that before.

[C]

The news show is six' five. You don't think there's a little radiation?

[A]

I don't want to say. You're welcome. I don't want to say that because that's not how I feel in my heart.

[C]

But we Gave him baseball and six five.

[A]

That's pretty good. There's one one six five.

[C]

I'm just saying, I'm just saying, give

[A]

me proof that there's nukes. Besides those two explosions, which could have been anything else.

[C]

Bikini Atoll, the Trinity test.

[A]

Have you been over there? Have you seen it?

[C]

The Tsar bomba in Russia, I guess I haven't seen it. I've never seen. I went to Hiroshima and the building was all messed up that like, the building was like that.

[B]

But they seem like the type of people that would like off their disabled.

[A]

You think they got some Sparta in them?

[B]

Yeah, because it's like everything about them, they got to do it perfect. So if you're not born perfect, they probably. Yeah, let's turn that into some sushi.

[A]

Now hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. They're not making radioactive sushi, bro.

[C]

That is.

[A]

That's next level. Do you think that's what uni is?

[C]

I hated uni. I always hated it.

[A]

Me too.

[C]

That's probably why.

[A]

Because you made it. You want actual Japanese food?

[C]

Me?

[A]

Well, Americans, like, I didn't come here for our how to come for barbecue.

[C]

No, I'm not gonna say, hey, unagi. I always thought Nagi was too.

[A]

Where, where do you want to be? Like, where would you want to. If you were a descendant of nuclear foam fallout, what country would you want to live in? For me, India.

[C]

Why is that?

[A]

Because I feel like the more like warped you look, the more godlike, with all due respect. Like, if you got multiple arms, they're like, yo, vicious back. Like, culturally, Vishnu is here.

[C]

Yeah, culturally, they would see you or you're just like, yes, you're rewarded. That's good.

[A]

Whereas like, you're right. Maybe in Japan they wouldn't reward that type of abnormality. In America, maybe. Maybe you'd be like, you'd be a famous tick tocker or something like that. But it's not going to be as much as like being looked at as

[B]

a God or like the jungle tribes in like South America or some.

[A]

Like, why they like that? Yeah. What do they do with it?

[B]

No, you'd probably be like a God or some type of elevated being.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Remember they were saying, yes, the tiger face.

[A]

You want a little witchcraft in the culture if you got abnormalities. You want some witchcraft?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Because all you gotta do is just blink at you. You think I just did some.

[A]

That's it.

[C]

But then it go way though.

[A]

I just.

[C]

Do the other albinos in Where?

[A]

No, no.

[C]

Well, kind of. They Them over.

[A]

Okay, tell me which doctors will try

[C]

to harvest albinos and use their body for spells.

[A]

I get that. No, I get that you can't do that. I do get that.

[C]

Cuz we're not that far off.

[A]

Say again?

[C]

We're not that far.

[A]

But don't they look like. They just look like they're made out of the. The tusk. Right. Cuz the rhino tusk is everything, right? It's. That cures everything. And then they just. You just made a huge human is all tusks.

[C]

They're poaching.

[A]

Chop them up. Chop them up. Ivory.

[B]

God, that's.

[A]

They're pure ivory. If ivory is the thing that the culture is like, there is nothing more valuable than this one thing. And now I don't gotta chase a, a, a dinosaur down to go get it.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I could just let this thing grow up to full. Full size.

[C]

Yeah, because you were gonna make a statue out of ivory anyway. I did the work for you.

[A]

I did it. But the question is, you don't want to take it at reveal. You don't want to take it. Like, it's going to be hard. You're looking at that ivory. Be like, if I let this get to 18 years, I'm going to have so much more ivory. But it's right there. You might need it. You might got a cousin that got aids. And then you got a. You know you want to cure that, but you're like, oh, yo, can you hang on for like 18 years while. While this thing gets the full growth so we can cure the whole neighborhood? This is a hypothetical. I'm putting myself.

[B]

I know I'm redid all that, but.

[C]

Yeah. How you look this up? I need to make sure I'm not speaking out of turn.

[A]

Yeah. Can you really not speak out of turn?

[C]

I just need to make sure.

[A]

I was worried we were going to speak out of turn when Al called the first lady. Don't put that on me.

[C]

That was Mark N. Come on. Mark Gagnon. I would never say it. Yeah, look at that.

[A]

Nah, dude, this is albinos in Tanzania.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

They're trying to get the witch doctors, which is a hilarious fear of witch

[A]

doctors who prize their body parts.

[C]

Why they put doctors doctor in there? Like, why aren't they just witches?

[A]

Yo, that's some white, ain't it? That is some white.

[B]

They are the doctors.

[A]

My man. My man.

[C]

They're killing albinos and put them in a soup. That's not. They make him into gumbo. That's not a doctor.

[A]

Yeah, that's a chef.

[C]

That's like. Like a witch chef.

[A]

Calling him witch doctor, is it? Dr. Dre is more of a doctor than a witch Dr. Pepper. What are you talking about?

[B]

I believe in all that.

[A]

No, what I'm saying.

[B]

What I'm saying is they heal.

[A]

Is that why they call them witch doctors?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You come to them for healing?

[B]

Yes, for everything. You got a spell on you. I got a spell on you. They'll take that off and. I don't know, the song just popped into my.

[C]

Did you just sample in the song?

[B]

I did, I did.

[C]

Come on, son.

[B]

I'm Dr. Dre.

[A]

Al might be a genius.

[B]

I'm Dr. Dre.

[C]

Right there.

[A]

That was both sides true. That was incredible. Okay, so, okay, the term witch doctor originated in the 18th century with the first recorded use around 1718. Created by Europeans. What the fuck did I say?

[C]

I say is derogatory, Eurocentric and inaccurate. And it shames. Or for indigenous shamans, healers and herbalists. Bro, that is kind of funny. They saw some medicine, traditional healers, obviously.

[B]

A witch.

[A]

It's a witch. Why don't we call all Eastern medicine witch doctors? Why don't we call, like, people who do the. What are those suction things on your back?

[C]

Suck.

[A]

Docs suck do.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Don't do it, Al. Don't you do it, Al.

[B]

No, you can't be docs. And it's too short. I don't know, I just feel like you can't take somebody that height seriously as a doctor. That's just the theory I'm going with. You guys think blacks can't be stuff. Short people can't do stuff. I'mma kill myself out of this.

[A]

By calling racism. That's how you get out everything. A sure woman delivered my children.

[B]

Son, don't say the N word, bro.

[A]

I didn't say it.

[C]

That's fine.

[A]

I didn't say it. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[C]

My joke. Bomba. You're racist about that.

[A]

Bang. What?

[C]

Even about that

[A]

doctor? Yeah. Okay, okay. Oh, do we have a new one to drop? Epstein Queen.

[C]

Yeah, the Epstein Queen.

[A]

Wait, wait, hold on. Before we go to this, did we conclude. Did we get any information about the albino using their body for spells?

[C]

Yeah, apparently they're using it. We got to just, you know, pour one out for the albino's respect to them.

[A]

I'll be honest.

[B]

Can they get sun?

[C]

Yeah. Cuz you could tan your way out of this, right?

[A]

No, I think that's the issue.

[C]

Issue?

[B]

Like they don't tan.

[A]

I don't think they tan, but then.

[B]

So they're like Irish. So do they burn? Like, do they get mad? Skin cancer?

[C]

Yeah, it's. Yeah, they don't have any melanin. Yeah, they legit. So they're damaged by the UV light. It's a genetic disorder inherited by parents and melanin.

[B]

So maybe the witch doctors are just trying to protect them.

[A]

In what way?

[B]

Like, the sun's going to kill you. I could do it first.

[C]

Oh, so it's like. It's like an evil spell. It's like, hey, help me not get cancer. And the witch doctor's like, I got you.

[B]

Taking you out of your misery, you

[C]

know, man, you think it's miserable being white? Come on, now.

[A]

I don't want to break it to is lit.

[B]

That was good.

[C]

I haven't seen this one. What is this? Yeah, now the Lego. I mean, I saw the other Lego one, which is just.

[A]

That is like three minutes long. Yeah, I.

[C]

We just play a little piece of this one.

[A]

Epstein. She says, never friends with a straight face live, but the files got Trump by the balls.

[C]

That's why she was smiling in here. Oh, man. Okay, hold on. Pause this real quick. Who posted this? Who posted that?

[A]

Yo, Iran account.

[B]

Yo, that's crazy.

[C]

How many views is this that he's

[B]

saying way crazier than I I did. I mean, that show you did.

[C]

I mean, low key.

[A]

I kind of understand why Trump was like, we going to end a civilization. Yeah, imagine they got the Roblox version of your wife gets an like.

[C]

No, we got to destroy the whole thing. We're going for the servers first. Okay.

[A]

Then we're going to get the nukes.

[C]

We're going to get the nukes after. But we got to invade for the servers.

[B]

And the song is a bot.

[A]

This is like back to who. Yeah, who's the artist?

[C]

Yeah. I don't know.

[A]

That's Todd. Dollar sign. I think that might be Todd. Yo, some of guys.

[C]

It's a good song. It's a good song.

[B]

I put it on one of you whites.

[C]

Wait, what? That's another one.

[A]

This is a different one. Oh, my God. Hormuze Hustle.

[C]

We can't let this happen. We got it. We gotta. We gotta step it up. As Americans, we are. We're good at propaganda. We invented it.

[A]

We thought we got to do better. Well, what can we do?

[C]

I don't know. We got to do something like sometime.

[A]

Our is ass, bro.

[B]

I know.

[A]

The best they came up with was when they were taking out some sites. They were like, jumposing it with, like, hits from a football game.

[C]

Yeah, I saw that.

[A]

That was the best one. We got no.

[C]

Decent.

[A]

Here comes the boom. Yeah.

[B]

Ass.

[A]

Ass. Ass. Ass. Yes.

[C]

I mean, I don't know who's. Apparently, this is an independent studio. It's a. It's a contractor. With Iran as a client.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

The WTF Media Studios of Russia

[A]

got to be American. They got to be American because they know what Americans like too much, I guess. They have to be American, which.

[C]

That's a crazy deal that Iran hits you up. And they're like, hey, do you want to make memes for us? Yeah, 100%.

[A]

And are they. Are they paying them like, $7,000 a post or something like that? Like what. What an insane. What an propaganda idea, Mark. Who knows how much money. Who could ever think of doing such a thing like that? I could never do Persia Boy Studios,

[C]

he's an Iranian creative entity known for producing viral LEGO animated videos. There's another one. Explosion Studios, I think is the other one. Explosive Studios. And apparently he did an interview recently where he was just talking. He's like, hey, another client. Like, we handle, you know, creative media solutions, solutions for, you know, different companies.

[B]

Fire.

[A]

It's just like.

[B]

I mean, money's money. What you mean? Especially if you're against.

[A]

Let us put a bid in. Oh, yeah, let us put a bid in. Scroll up.

[C]

What is this?

[A]

Hold on.

[C]

In our video. In our video with Mr. Explosives, he appears silhouetted, and he's got the colors of the Iranian flag. And he says the team consists of fewer than 10 people. So it's a little. It's a mom and pop. It a startup, you know, they're getting it going. Cottage industry. All right. Based off silhouette alone, where do you think he's from?

[A]

That guy's white. Yeah, I got his white. That guy's a Caucasian person. I could tell by the hair and the glasses.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Al, can you confirm that suspicion?

[B]

I think it checks out.

[C]

He denies working for Iran. Now he's confirmed now he said he's totally independent. My all due respect, maybe I got that wrong. But crazy.

[B]

Like, did they have them lit with the colors of the Iran flag?

[C]

Oh, I don't work for Iran.

[B]

I.

[A]

That's like Euphoria. It's like Euphoria always uses, like, neon. And they're inspired, man, but just wild. Man, get us out this war, bro.

[C]

What are you talking about? The war. Coachella happened.

[A]

Now you're still talking about the war. You're right. My bad. Yeah. Why you got to get your head

[C]

out of there, man.

[A]

Hey, man, can I just tell you something, bro?

[B]

Foreign.

[A]

I'm at an age, man, where if someone starts a conversation and it doesn't involve peptides, I really don't want to hear the end of it. I don't want to hear about Justin Bieber playing his laptop at Coachella. I want to hear about ratatouille side. That's what I want to hear about.

[B]

Are you getting on the shits?

[A]

I cannot wait to get on the shits.

[B]

You've been saying that for mad long.

[A]

It's like getting your fucking passport renewed. It's like I don't want to go do the whole blood work, do the whole thing. I need a Brazilian chick that got full time. Now I understand why that industry.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

Cuz there's all the red tape. I don't want to deal with it.

[C]

She comes to your house.

[A]

She comes to my house.

[C]

Gives you the retta, gives you a little filler. Like that's a kind of ideal situation.

[B]

Hello, back mouth. You never know.

[A]

Back mouth is crazy because we weren't even saying that. Back mouth feels like you getting your ass right? Yeah, that back mouth sounds like how

[C]

a gay dude describes ass.

[A]

Ass. Yeah, I'm trying to get back mouth. What we call it the mouth in the back of your mouth.

[C]

He called it back mouth. That's back mouth Just didn't land to him until later.

[A]

Wait a minute. I called it that. You must have called it. That was fire. That was amazing. Are you kidding me? Back mouth. Print it. Guys, let's take a break for a second. I recently found out that men start losing testosterone around 30.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

Yeah, about 1% a year. And here's the part that got me. Even when your body is making testosterone, a lot of it gets locked up by this protein called shbg. So it's like having money in your account but your card doesn't work. That's why men should be taken. Taking Mars men right here. No synthetics, no needles. 8 natural clinically dosed ingredients. Don Kad, Ali Shilajit, vitamin D, zinc, Borong. You can just say made in the usa. Third party tested the whole thing. You could buy all these things individually. Mark was telling me. But why would you do that? Now you have to test each of them individually. Mars did of that. All that. Okay. Workouts are going to start feeling like workouts again. Recovery gets better and the energy isn't like a coffee spike. It's just steady. You feel like yourself again. They got a 90 day money back guarantee, so there's literally no risk. But over 91% of users report higher energy levels. Go check the reviews yourself. Thousands of guys are feeling it. For a limited time, you get 50% off for life. That's for life. Free shipping and three free gifts@ Mengotomars.com that's Mengotomars.com it also is on Amazon. And when you check out, they'll ask you where you heard about us. Please tell them that we sent you. It supports the show. Now, while you're getting your testosterone up, remember, remember, remember, there are other things that you need. And that head of hair is one of them. Is crucial. Balding is a choice. Now. It's a choice. You are going to make that choice. You want to go bald? That is up to you, partner. Hims doesn't want you to go bald. Hims wants you to lock in that mat. Keep it for as long as you need, okay? Hims offers a convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss treatments with ingredients that work. I know I can tell you. I've been on them for two decades. Decades. Including chews, oral medications, serums and sprays. Doctor Trusted ingredients like finasteride and minoxidil can stop further hair loss and even regrow hair in as little as three to six months. You shouldn't have to go out of your way to feel like yourself. Hims brings expert care straight to you with 100% online access to personalized treatment plans that put your goals first. No hidden fees, no surprise cost, just real personalized care on your schedule. Think of Hims as your digital front door that gets you back to your old self with simple 100% online access to trusted treatments for real health concerns all in one place. So for simple online access to personalized and affordable care for hair loss, weight loss and more, visit hims.comflagrant that's hims.comflagrant for your free online visit hims.com flagrant featured products include compounded drug products which in the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness or quality. Prescription required. See website for full details, restrictions and important safety information. Individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral monoxide. Now let's get back to the show. Tell me about Coachella.

[C]

You didn't see any of this?

[A]

I saw Justin Bieber. You had a great take on Justin Bieber.

[C]

I. I thought this was awesome. If anyone doesn't know, I mean, we can play like a little clip here, but basically Beebs is on stage at Coachella and it's just a Completely stripped down performance. It's just him with a laptop on stage, live streaming, more or less, and going through the comments of people, like asking for song requests on the Coachella live stream and then just pulling up videos on YouTube of his old performances and then singing along. And it's, in my opinion, awesome.

[A]

I love it.

[B]

How is that awesome?

[A]

Tell me why you think it's awesome before you start hating.

[C]

I think it's far for a few reasons. One, it's like perfectly meeting the moment. Like right now, stream culture is dominating everything. The informal kind of hangout, parasocial vibe with being with someone online, kind of like reading your chat, responding and just being completely stripped down without trying too hard. Like, so much of Gen Z is, is wrapped around, like, fear of being cringe or being observed. And as he's just up there fully, like, immersed in this new cultural moment where he's just posted up, not doing too much and he's basically giving zero and he's just like clicking through like baby and singing Baby, basically singing with himself the version that all of his fans in the world broadly fell in love with that very first Justin Bieber. He's like revisiting this 15 different, 15 year, different version with him.

[A]

Nostalgia play.

[C]

There's nostalgia. There's something, like, beautiful about seeing it. Him, like, reminiscing and like, like appreciating himself when he was younger. And then he's given nothing. The audience is going crazy. And then the interstitials of him, like, pulling up memes and goofing around, it's like you're watching a live stream on stage, in person with him just hanging out with one of the biggest pop stars of all time. And let me say, Bieber's also been steeped in different controversies. People are concerned with, like, his mental health. Is he doing okay? And to see him just like happy and euphoric on stage, like looking back at himself as a kid, being like, man, I love that version of me that was new to this world, that didn't know what was going on. That was, you know, in this industry. That was you. Scary but exciting.

[A]

Balls deep in Selena.

[C]

Okay, maybe, maybe.

[B]

Ah, that's his ex.

[C]

And looking back on it, just being like, wow, that's.

[A]

He was. He was balls deep.

[C]

I don't know. Yeah, I don't have.

[B]

How does Justin's nuts taste, bro?

[A]

You can't appreciate art, bro. We're not going to take that out.

[B]

So you telling me you paying mad money to go to Coachella and Coachella is known for the over the top performance.

[A]

You're about to watch Jay Z do the exact same thing.

[B]

No, he's not. I bet you will be completely. Jay Z puts on a show.

[A]

No, no, no. People around Jay Z put on a show. Jay Z, at least that's walking around.

[B]

That's fine like that, but that's fine. At least you put some effort into it. Or paid to put some effort in. This is zero effort. This is like, yo, I got millions and millions of dollars to headline this so I can sit here with a laptop and do just doom scroll with you.

[A]

Like, he's not performing effort. I'll be honest. I like, like effort. I like effort.

[B]

And maybe it's a generational thing.

[A]

And I think, yes, I think there is that. There is a fear of being cringe for Gen Z, for sure. And I think what happens is when you're afraid of being cringe, you remove yourself from any opportunity to be cringe. So you stop trying. Right? And so, yes, and I think that I get that there is a version of that. I think Justin is in this place where it's like, it's not like these people haven't seen Justin. They've seen Justin a million times. Is he going to go up there and do all the dance moves and recreate the same performance that he's given him, or does he give a different kind of experience? Because at this point in time, I think they just want to hang out with him. And he created that hang. So I get that version. If your expectation was I want to see him rock out, tear the roof off the place and have the whole spectacle, then of course it's not going to live up to that. But if your goal was just to like relive Justin's life through his music, especially these moments where you first consume Justin. Not all, none of us have seen it Justin Bieber concert, but we've seen them all online. And then he gets. He allows you to replay those emotions the first time you watch Baby, Baby, Baby, when he's fucking 12 years old or whatever. So I understand how it could satisfy in that way. Especially when this performance is juxtaposed with all the other Coachella performances that are larger than life, bigger than ever.

[C]

And every pop star right now is super big.

[A]

Yes, right?

[C]

Like the Sabrina Carpenter, Benson Boone, like, they put on like these stadium style performances.

[A]

Boo's back flipping, bro. Yeah. Justin's like, I'm gonna sit on this desk, bust out the laptop and we're gonna hang.

[C]

And the Delta with energy. Like, he's doing nothing. The audience is going crazy. To me, that is a more interesting dynamic than a performer going crazy. The audience going crazy, at least in this moment right now.

[B]

So I see where you're coming from. It's just. I'll just say it's not for me, because Coachella, to me is, hey, you give him a Beyonce level performance, and that's what I'm expecting. Expecting. And this was like, this is just lazy.

[A]

I. I don't. To me, it's like, okay, I can

[B]

look like, oh, I'm just, like, being cool, but this is like, okay. I didn't really want to put the effort.

[C]

I think Coachella me is like, I get to be around and hang with famous influencers and famous people. And he's like, oh, you want to hang out with me? Let's hang. You picked the set list. I have no songs planned.

[A]

I don't know. I got it.

[B]

Like, you're kind of convincing me. I get how people can enjoy it.

[A]

So I think. I think it's two ways. It's like, because I. I agree kind of with both of you. I agree. It's like, I want to see an artist that I really admire and appreciate. Go and light it up.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Blow my mind. You know? You know, love him or hate him, but, like, you saw Ye's performance at Sofi, and you're like, this is, like, different. And a lot of effort was put into this to make it different, and I appreciate that.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And so there is that version. Especially when you're at a place like Coachella where you're like, I'm ready for everybody here to top one another, and it's be to going to be insane. So I get that. But there is a version, and, like, we weren't there, where, like, the experience of seeing the crazy light show and all these things from seven different acts in a row, seeing something completely stripped down actually was refreshing and interesting, and

[B]

I can appreciate that. I see it.

[A]

So there. There might be. Be something with that. But, yeah, it's. That was fire.

[C]

I mean, the reaction online was kind of mixed.

[A]

People were saying, guys, right?

[C]

They were like, yeah, it's like, kind of BS and other people are like. The people that I knew that went were like, yeah, it was awesome. It was, like, casual. There was no, like, expectation.

[A]

Also, you need to have a certain amount of gravity, you know, dress like this.

[B]

So I would assume, bro, that they would like some stripped down. Exactly. Yeah, I get it.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

What was I just about to say?

[C]

It don't matter.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You need peptides. I need. Yeah, I need peptides.

[B]

Get on that nad.

[A]

I'm going to get on that, too. But there's. Yeah. I don't know. I'm like, oh. Oh, that was it. It's only a few performers that can even do this.

[C]

I think Kanye actually probably could have done this.

[A]

No, no, Kanye can't. Like, there's only a handful of people that have so much gravity and so much mystique. Mystique and also nostalgia built around them.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

If you have a long career that was. And you were big. One of the tops. The. You could do this.

[A]

You can do it. But, like, a new artist can't. Like, Sabrina Carpenter can't just sit up there and do it, because I think the experience of the show, she's still kind of selling people on what it is she does and how she does things. Michael Jackson could literally just sit on stage and, like, have a conversation, and you could hear the hits. You could dance. He could bring other people on to try to do their best version of a moonwalk, and it would just be like.

[B]

It's funny you say him. I, like, just posted a clip of him. Because I was. I saw this, and I'm like, yo, it's just zero effort. And then I saw this performance by Michael Jackson. I'm like, jesus Christ. Like, it still blows me away today. Pause. But, like, he is a performer. Like, that's what I want to see when I see somebody performing.

[A]

I agree with you. Like, that's what I want Me, if I'm paying money.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

To go see a show. Coachella, I think people want to see the artists, but I think people want to be at Coach Coachella. Like, I think Coachella has almost become bigger than the artist. It needs the artists.

[C]

I would say if I went to a Bieber concert and he did this, I'd be a little bit like, all right. Yeah, I wanted a show. I'm going to a festival, and I'm seeing all my favorite bands. Anyway. I got to see the Strokes. I got to see Geese, whatever. And then this happens. I'm like, oh, what a cool inversion of the whole thing. Like, he's meeting the moment culturally and in the context of the festival is.

[B]

That's interesting. Okay. I thought you were just giving him the past. Just like, yeah, it's Bieber. You could do whatever you want type.

[C]

No, I think if Yay was at this, then I think he could do it. I'd be worried about what would come up on YouTube. I think Ye's YouTube would probably have some clips that could be problematic. It'd have to be some stuff. There might be some translated speeches that sound, you know, a little crazy. Yeah, but that.

[A]

That is a good one. It's like, how do you make your festival show different? And Coachella is a proper festival in that, like, everybody is in the same space, and I think can access all the acts. It's a proper festival. There are certain things that, like. Like when the New York Comedy Festival happens, like, they call it a festival, but it's not, like, just little shows happening everywhere. It's like, there's already 20 shows a night in New York. Like, every day is a New York comedy festival in that regard. So it's like, this is a different experience. And I wonder if. I wonder if people start doing this in future Coachella shows.

[B]

Oh, now you can not.

[A]

Not essentially doing this, but going, oh, I don't need to have the wildest show. I need to have the most different show. What I would also say is, I think there's a lot of acts that go to Coachella, especially, like, acts that, like, can tap into nostalgia, that are going, all right, I got to put it all in on this performance, and I got to have the best performance, Coachella, and I'll lose money on this performance, but then I'll tour for the next two years because people remember how dope I was. So I think it's a. It's almost like Burning man is like an advertisement for DJs. Like, you go there, you don't make any money, you do whatever, but, you know, if you bring it.

[B]

I feel like T Pain did that.

[A]

Where?

[B]

Where? At Coachella. I think he had a crazy performance. Like, everybody was, like, left talking about T Pain, and then he had a little resurgence. And then, like.

[A]

And think about how viral you go. Like, if you throw. If you throw down a Coachella, and everybody is there and every influencer is there, and they're posting the videos, and the people are just reposting what they're seeing. All of a sudden, you get the viral traffic action of. Of. Of 10,000 different moments that could have happened over the year all at one time.

[C]

Did I bring the Shia LaBeouf thing? No.

[A]

Tell me.

[C]

Like, this reminded me of, like, watch, like, Shia Buff rewatching his old movies. Remember that? Oh, he did, like, film himself watching everything he's ever done.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And it kind of gives you that same feeling of, like, oh, I'm experiencing this through him, which I think is cathartic for a lot of people, and people I think pointed out the Frank Ocean thing where, like, he did Coachella. And my feeling is, like, it didn't feel like Frank Ocean war be there, whereas Beaver seemed like he really enjoyed this. He's just like, yeah, I enjoy connecting my fans and, like, reminiscing.

[B]

Wait, but did Frank do something similar to this?

[C]

I forget exactly what it was. It was, like, two years ago, maybe, but he did. He had this whole elaborate thing. He had, like, ice skaters, and they brought in an ice rink, and, like, we made this whole thing, and then he canceled it all and was like, I'm not doing it. And then they canned it, and then he came in late and then, like, did a couple songs and bounced, I think. I hope that's.

[B]

I, like, faintly remember that. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I want. I want my entertainers to want to entertain.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I don't know what was going on with Frank in his life at the time, but, like, I want you to enjoy being up there, and I want you to want to share with an audience.

[C]

I think that's wildly entertaining. Weirdly, he's like YouTube's golden child. He's the artist who, like, came up off YouTube. Another great point.

[A]

No, I'm talking about Frank maybe not wanting to be there, whatever. Like, I like this version of it is fine. But, like, I do, like, when there is an artist that wants to share and they enjoy sharing and they're, like, treated as, like, a privilege to share. Yeah, that is cool.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

To me.

[C]

But the YouTube connect. I think the YouTube connects huge. Like, he is YouTube's biggest artist.

[A]

You know what I mean? He came up off of it, and all of the people that are there

[C]

watching, they're like, roughly my age, probably are like, oh, I watch all his YouTube videos constantly.

[A]

Yeah, consistent.

[C]

Like, at parties, you'd put it on.

[A]

Like, his YouTube presence is huge for a lot of people my age.

[C]

And I think that them watching it

[A]

with him is, like, so much, like, it's so connective to them.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I feel like. Hasn't he been doing this? Like, didn't he just start streaming 24. 7 or some shit like that?

[C]

I've seen. I don't know what that is, but I saw him and, like, Sebastian, like, cutting it up.

[B]

Yeah. Like, I think he just.

[C]

And Beaver, like, dude did a thing I forgot.

[B]

I think he just, like, live streams 24. Seven in a crib. I don't know if it's still going on, but, Yeah, I don't know what

[A]

that was, but he has now.

[B]

I feel like, all right, he Just did a version of what he's doing at home. So that's why it felt even lazier.

[A]

I was like, oh, okay, it's people.

[C]

More dog.

[B]

But shout out to B. Cuz now if anyone tries to do it at a show, they're gonna look like they're biting Eva.

[C]

Exactly. So, all right, can we hit a couple more things? There's a few other things that I was. I was percolating.

[B]

What things?

[C]

I mean, snl, the Brilliant Idiots, which is hilarious.

[B]

Oh, did you see that?

[C]

What do you mean?

[A]

They did Brilliant Idiot.

[B]

They was mocking you, son.

[C]

So Cam Patterson, Marcelo Hernandez is Florida boys, for the record, shout out.

[A]

Kim and Marcel.

[C]

Just want to bring that up. Just a couple young Florida comedians. Okay. And I was just. Interesting. It's just an interesting fact. Right?

[B]

Whatever. I do it too, so it's fine.

[C]

Two young Florida comedians that are amazing and they're both on snl and they do the sketch with Colin. Can you go back a little bit? They basically sit down and you can kind of see the dynamic here. They're called the school. The kids on the back of the bus. Like, basically like young kids that clown each other.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And. And don't think he. Okay, play.

[A]

Oh, my God. Who's gone? Oh, Gabon is a friend of ours. He's nuts.

[B]

Sean. So he's doing the Ligma.

[A]

I mean, other people,

[B]

black guy, white

[C]

guy, they do a bunch of Ligma jokes back to back.

[A]

Jokes aside, I don't think this inflation will predicate a most noticeable shift in the financial Federal Reserve.

[C]

Yeah, but it does put the fan between a rock and a hard place

[A]

because they had to blow inflation while still encouraging economic growth. The hell? You guys, like, secretly smart. Yes.

[B]

Brilliant idiots.

[A]

You get tutoring from Amanda Cauld. He's a genius. You know, Amanda, who. Who is.

[B]

Who is.

[A]

Amanda could hold. Amanda could hold these nuts. Telling you. I'm telling you, they took a little bit of brilliant. So who. Who's who. So who in this one, who would be.

[C]

I think. I think Cam is Charlama and I think you're calling Jost.

[A]

I feel like I would be Cam.

[C]

You think so?

[A]

Yeah, cuz I think. I think. Oh. Cuz of the racial thing is. I think the racial thing is part of that. Okay.

[C]

I think the racial thing. And also this moment from Brilliant Idios.

[A]

You remember this much fun is this one.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You out there at Wendy's.

[C]

Wendy's. Wendy's.

[A]

This is kenya.

[B]

Kenya. You celebrated exactly like how they were doing.

[A]

Said, I'm telling You.

[C]

You and Harlow might have got it this week. I'm just saying.

[A]

Nah. Ah.

[C]

And Marcel did a good you. I gotta be honest.

[A]

I think I'm Cam, man.

[C]

I think.

[A]

Honestly think.

[C]

I think so.

[A]

Actually, you know, I don't know who it would be. But first of all, there's no way this is brilliant 80s. But I don't know who it. But if Cam gets one off on pause. Pause D. You pausing a lot this week, man.

[B]

You know, finding my roots here.

[A]

Yeah, I hear you. But. But Charlamagne has never got one off.

[C]

Never.

[A]

That's the history, that's the lore of brilliant idiots is that he tries every week and he just cannot do it. And even moments where he's about to do it, he it up. Yeah, but he cannot get it, as brilliant as he is.

[B]

But can. Didn't get one.

[C]

Yeah. I don't know if Cam got one for one.

[A]

They might be good if they had. No. If they had Cam trying to do it and fuck it up, then I'd be like, all right, we got some people that understand culture.

[C]

We're not the only ones that make this connection. There were comments on the video that I saw the people being like, this is like a brilliant idiots when high school together. Like, actually it had 20 likes.

[A]

Yeah, I think. All right, okay.

[C]

There's a bunch of other. That I think we should talk about. A bunch of scientists have been killed lately, yo. Which we can talk about before we go to that Euphoria Season three with Sydney Sweeney.

[A]

Before we talk about that. About that. This, this Saturday. Big, big, big, big Akash Singh. Radio City Music Hall Saturday, April 18 get them tickets. We're all pulling up.

[B]

We'll be in the building.

[A]

Okay. The boys building. So come say what's up and let's watch the boy live his dreams, man. So one more time for Akash Singh. Go grab those. We'll see you guys there Saturday.

[B]

Love you, brother.

[A]

Love you, dogs.

[C]

I mean, there's a. A few other things to jump into. I mean, the Diddy claiming that the freak off was a porn shoot, and then also the Eric Swalwell stuff is wild.

[A]

Tell me about the swallow.

[C]

Not to getting like a whole political thing, but like, just looking at how power works is crazy.

[A]

Tell me, tell.

[C]

So there's currently a government a race in Cali in California. And they got all these people in the mix. A bunch of Democrats are jockeying for it. And right now Republicans are leading, I think. And they were leading at the very beginning and people thought like, oh, there's no way. And like they're still like have a good sizable amount of people polling being like, yeah, I'm gonna vote for the Republicans.

[A]

What.

[C]

So what are the Democrats gotta do? They're trying to like figure out how to get people out of the race.

[A]

Ooh.

[C]

This was told me by a friend that's very like plugged in with all the politics.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

He's like, basically they gotta get people out of the race.

[A]

So they trying to burn him.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

So they trying to burn it. Who they trying to burn him?

[C]

Eric Swalwell. So they go to him, they say,

[A]

hey, he's a Democrat. Yeah. But they. That's what the Dems of the Bernie within their.

[C]

Within their primary. They need like the person that they want.

[A]

They need.

[C]

He was leading, then they. He wasn't chose. He wasn't the one they wanted. Oh. So they say, you got to drop back cuz I'm not dropping out. And they go, you're going to want to drop about. I'm not doing it.

[A]

Oh, wow. So that.

[C]

This is the story that was told me. This is a pure allegation.

[A]

Hey listen, this is a conspiracy. Can we just name the show allegations? Yeah, allegation, media allegations. That's it.

[C]

So it was basically this whole situation where they're like, you got to go. He's like, I'm not going. And he's an egomaniac. So he knows that he's been doing and he's like, if you not going to be me.

[A]

I mean these are crazy.

[C]

And then all of a sudden some stories start to leak, some rumors start to go around, it starts getting pushed through, you know, Democrat circles. CNN's covering it. D d d and then Martin Scley gets a. A video from someone and says, I have a video about representative Eric sw.

[A]

Martin Scley, the AIDS drug guy?

[C]

He's a guy I don't know. Yeah, yeah. He had the drug patent and then raised it and they got the Wuang album. Like that guy.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

He's a very well connected, connected political operative person that knows everyone kind of

[B]

about how I know. It's so crazy. I feel like once you in, then it's like you found ways to just stay.

[C]

He's savvy. He knows who to talk to, knows what to do. So he gets a video, says I would love a comment from Eric Smallwell. And then he posts this video.

[B]

Oh, he just drops it.

[C]

Oh, that's here's Eric Swalwell video. My source says it was taken at his home and the woman is assigned Sex worker.

[A]

Oh, no. You kissing hoes in the mouth, bro.

[B]

Oh, that's the problem.

[A]

You kissing hoes in the mouth, man. Get out of here, son.

[B]

Being in your crib is crazy.

[A]

Nah.

[B]

You going to bring the sex worker to the crib?

[A]

Who's the other dude with the shoes on the bed?

[C]

Yeah, kind of fresh. Fresh Nikes, actually.

[A]

What is this?

[B]

They doing a little Eiffel Tower situation.

[C]

So it's hard to know really what's going on. It doesn't even really look like a bedroom in a house. It looks like a hotel room. My opinion, like, you got mitered like bed sheets.

[A]

It's definitely hotel.

[B]

It was taken in his home.

[A]

Can I tell you how I know it's hotel? The way them sheets are tucked in.

[C]

That's what I'm saying.

[A]

Right. The corners only done in hotels. Nobody tucks their bed in like that.

[C]

Also, like the hallway with the mirror like that. It just looks like hotel.

[A]

Again, I don't know.

[C]

But he's. There's another video where, like, he's, like, laying with her. And like, this is basically from the same chunk. It seems like there's a longer video and two clips from it came out. Yeah. But if you notice there's another guy sitting on the bed.

[A]

Right.

[C]

There are allegations that is another Democrat representative that's kind of in the mix. That's one of his close friends. I don't even want to say his name because again, this is purely allegation.

[B]

Was this allegedly the dude that he's, like, on a camel with and they both don't have shirts on?

[C]

I didn't see that picture, but it might be. He claimed at one point that it was, like, his best friend ever. Now people that are alleging that that's him.

[B]

They were shirtless on a camel together, bro.

[A]

Yo, can we.

[B]

Oh, I thought they were together that.

[C]

But what's his name? If you can just scroll down, maybe. No. Swabble also likes to party. He likes to get around. There's like, videos of him. Yes. That guy.

[A]

So what did he do wrong?

[C]

So, I mean, there's a few things. One, this whole allegation of, like, being with a sex worker while he's married and has kids.

[A]

That's wrong.

[C]

Shouldn't do that.

[A]

That's wrong.

[C]

And then there's also Mary Magdalene also.

[A]

Wait, what?

[B]

Wasn't she the.

[C]

A pro?

[A]

No. You can fall for this propaganda.

[B]

Thought she was a pro.

[C]

No.

[A]

They had to make you think that she's a prostitute. Yeah, that's what they try to do. Who they what?

[C]

You mean Romans?

[A]

The Roman Romans.

[B]

I thought Jesus was being real. I thought Jesus was being real presidential and turned a hoe into.

[A]

Well, Jesus wouldn't care if you're a hoe or not. Jesus wouldn't care what you did.

[C]

Hey, as long as you go on,

[A]

you send no more.

[C]

Go forth more. Come on.

[B]

Joey said the President doesn't either.

[C]

Go on and send them more.

[A]

Get us through this. So basically he's.

[C]

Wow, this whole thing is now popping out. He stepped down from the governor race and now he's stepped out of Congress.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because he had a affair or not even affair, because he cheated on his wife with a prostitute.

[C]

Yes. And then he also was involved with a Chinese spy before. Before this. The first time I ever heard his name was in 2020 when a story came out that he was posted up with a Chinese spy named Fang Fang also.

[A]

Oh, that's. This is the Fang Fang guy.

[C]

Also known as Catherine thing. And apparently why you act like you

[B]

know what the you talking about?

[A]

No, I heard about the Fang Fang story. He loves dead ass. I did. Yeah.

[B]

I think he just liked the name.

[C]

And the story is that he slept with this Chinese spy. Allegedly. Oh, I missed the biggest part. The allegation. It's not the sexual thing. There's also from the New York Times, there's a staffer, a former staffer that. That he gre. Yeah, but yeah, he got comped by a Chinese spy. I mean he's a wild boy. He's an egomaniac.

[B]

He's Fang Fang getting it in.

[A]

Yeah, lowkey. Lowkey. It might. It might come down to it where we just need a. A priest to run the country.

[C]

Uhoh.

[A]

We just need someone who's not corrupt man. Facts. We need the uncorruptible.

[C]

Someone no baggage.

[A]

No baggage. Uncorruptible?

[B]

What are you talking about?

[A]

What priest is corruptible?

[B]

All of them.

[A]

Name one. All of them.

[B]

Every Boston one that they had to move around to some other town that's

[C]

back in the day.

[A]

That's Boston Catholicism. They don't understand it, the Irish.

[B]

I say all Irish grapers, they just

[C]

drink and just stuff gets away from them, you know? Yeah, they get.

[A]

They get away.

[C]

Yeah, they kind of off road.

[A]

They get away. They get away way Irish Catholics.

[C]

The Pope can't be president at the same time.

[A]

No, I get it, I get it. But what I'm saying is we need somebody kind of like that.

[C]

If you could be president Pope, which one you got?

[A]

Neither.

[C]

Neither?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You go Pope.

[C]

Be Pope.

[B]

Yeah, Pope Is way lit.

[C]

Go in the Vatican archives, look at some old. Find a paper somewhere with a riddle.

[A]

Just hang out with virgins all day.

[B]

You know, they getting it in.

[C]

You're doing that with me now. That's already what you do.

[A]

Did I know you as a virgin? No, you'd already done that.

[B]

Oh, you already done that sinning.

[A]

You already did that Sinning. You already did that.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

You already did that. Yeah.

[B]

Boy, that's funny. I remember when he wouldn't admit that on air. Now he. Now he'll get.

[A]

No, you always sinner.

[C]

That was against God. We all fall short of the glory, though. We all fall short of the glory of God.

[A]

Yeah, we do, man. But he don't.

[B]

He don't forgive that easy.

[A]

He does.

[C]

What do I have to do again?

[A]

War.

[B]

Hail Marys.

[C]

A lot more of them.

[B]

A lot more.

[A]

How many more, Al?

[B]

Yeah, just more.

[A]

How many?

[B]

Couple.

[C]

All right.

[B]

Five communions.

[A]

Hold on, hold on. We got to go to Patreon. But like, so what. So what happens in California? So he was already a congressman in California. Yep. Newsome has 14 days once he leaves

[C]

all the houses new to set up a new election for him.

[A]

He's in an incredibly blue state.

[C]

I think Kamala Harris won it by 35%.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Last time. So it's.

[B]

Yeah, but he was in the House running for our governor.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And there's a Republican that also had stepped down similar situation.

[C]

Tony Gonzalez.

[A]

Yeah, golly.

[C]

But that was from a while ago.

[B]

Yes, but he stepped down same day. He's like, yo, let me just bury my shit onto some other guy.

[C]

Shit.

[B]

So they left same day.

[C]

Kind of a trade. Eye for an eye.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

But this is how politics works, where it's like these guys are like. Like they're like jockeying. Like, it's like chess. Like, you lose a piece. Like, I will take out one of our pieces.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, it's absurd how it's. None of this is real. Life is.

[A]

Life is chess.

[C]

Like, there's so like, you. Like. I don't know. If you don't play chessboard.

[A]

Brand new, fancy. It lights up. It's very.

[B]

What was their excuse when you and

[A]

I gave for no reason. Is there any part of. Is there any part of us that thinks. Thinks that like Swalwell. Swalwell is the name Swalswell's and ends well. No, but like with this walls. Well, was with the Fang Fang girl to finish the rail project. Is it. Is there any. Like they had this high speed rail that they're Never gonna get done.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then all of a sudden this little fang fang comes around and she's like, no, we have a history of fucking killing it with rail in America. Let us take over. Like, is there a part of it where it's not actually like a bad thing maybe?

[C]

Yeah. He's trying to get ahead of trying

[A]

to make the rail. In the beginning in California, it didn't work.

[C]

You think that's why they're.

[B]

Then he started railing facts.

[C]

You got a rail for a rail.

[B]

Rail for a rail.

[C]

Is that why they're bad drivers, you think?

[A]

Because they're used to training, like, bro,

[C]

we built the train, now you're pissing cars.

[A]

It's like, they good. They're good when it's on the track and it just goes in one way and there can't be traffic.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

And then we throw them in automobiles where there's all these other things everywhere.

[C]

Or maybe they're trying to get us back on the trains, make the roads a little more dangerous. Like now. So you're going to use the shit we built? Same thing. Thank you. Say thank you to papa.

[A]

Boring company. Boring.

[C]

The boring company.

[A]

The boring company. We only let them drive in that. Is that okay? That would be.

[C]

Do you think you could do a loop de loop?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

If you were going fast enough, you could probably spin around it.

[B]

Right.

[C]

One rainbow road.

[A]

Of course. 100% million percent. And they'll try if there's some. What's the cat calciat? What's the couch?

[C]

They drive the Chinese one upside down.

[A]

Just fully get. We're going to patreon. Patreon.com.

[C]

yeah.

[A]

Slash flagrant. See you guys over there.

[C]

Peace.