Trumps OBSESSED w/ Greenland, How to Fix ICE, & Religion with the Hottest Women

Summary

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Flagrant w/ Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - Podcast Summary

Episode: “Trump’s OBSESSED w/ Greenland, How to Fix ICE, & Religion with the Hottest Women” | Jan 21, 2026

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Overview

This episode of Flagrant sees the irreverent crew—Andrew Schulz, Akaash Singh, Shifty, Miles, and Mark Gagnon—tackle a variety of hot-button current events and controversial themes, from immigration and the ICE debate, to Trump’s ambitions in Greenland, the oddities of religious subcultures, and why Salt Lake City might secretly have the hottest women in America. As always, their comedic takes run wild, irreverently poking at political binaries, identity, and the absurdities of modern life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Parental Political Drift & ICE: Would You Hide Migrants?

• Akaash shares his Indian mom’s new “liberal” stances, like hiding migrants from ICE, which alienated her MAGA friends—but liberals don’t trust her either due to her religious beliefs. (“She’s kind of stuck.” - Akash, 00:32)
• Group debates: Would you lie to ICE if you were hiding migrants, especially strangers? Are we all complicit when taking advantage of immigrant labor?
  • Miles: “All human beings are worthy of human dignity.” (03:07)
• Comedic riffs on lying to authorities and finding loopholes (“They're not hiding, they're working,” 02:14).
• Punchline: “Then you ask for a discount on that landscaping.” (Mark, 01:40)

2. ICE, Protest, & Identity Snafus

• The group riffs on confusion when a church service is disrupted by protesters mistaking a pastor for an ICE agent.
• Mark: “It’s funny, the protesters are just busting in like ICE: ‘We want him! Get him out!’” (07:24)
• Discussion on ICE anonymity, badge policies, and overreach. ("That's why all the ICE people need names on their badges, 'cause now you're getting people mixed up in the crosshairs." - Akash, 07:35)

3. New York Street Life: Migrants, Chinatown, and Knockoff Bags

• The hosts reminisce about buying knockoff bags from “Chinese ladies that take you down the alleyway” (Akash, 08:53), street food quirks, and how NYC culture mixes migrant hustle with a certain grittiness.
• Jokes about the tradeoffs of diversity, with special praise for NYC’s “the best everything” (Mark, 08:47).

4. ICE Satire & Racial Absurdities

• Mark jokes about migrants hiding in blackface to fool ICE, sparking a tongue-in-cheek riff on stereotypes and how America racially misidentifies people (11:24).
• Shifty: “My principal always thought I was Mexican. Every time he saw me, he’d say ‘Hola, amigo.’” (12:12)

5. “Welfare Addicted Jews” & Ultra-Orthodox Life

• They dissect a viral documentary about the ultra-Orthodox Hasidic town “Curious Joel,” accused of welfare fraud.
• Akash cautions: “I don’t want to speak out of turn...but people are not happy about it.” (13:51)
• The group pivots to the quirks of the Hasidic community, such as B&H Photo, Sabbath shutdowns, and insular life. (“It’s kind of hilarious to buy the most high-tech equipment from a guy who looks like he's from the 1600s.” - Mark, 16:20)
• Anecdotes highlight both admiration and outsider bemusement at Jewish, Hasidic culture.

6. Cultural Marvels: Running Through Williamsburg, “The Silent Mile”

• Williamsburg’s ultra-Orthodox neighborhood is painted as a surreal, time-travel-like experience for outsiders (Mark: “Like a human zoo. Don’t roll down the window.” - 18:17).
• Fun fact: The NYC marathon stretch through the Hasidic neighborhood is called "The Silent Mile” because nobody cheers (18:15).

7. City Wars: NYC vs. San Diego vs. Salt Lake

• Schulz extols San Diego for “the best weather on Earth,” balance of red/blue politics, and friendly people (21:09).
• Akaash and Shifty counter: Salt Lake City’s magic is in its outdoorsy lifestyle, LDS influence, “crunchy” vibes, and, notably, highly attractive residents (“Everyone in Salt Lake is attractive. It’s our Scandinavia.” - Mark, 27:41).
• Discussion touches on Mormon openness about sex (within marriage), lack of alcohol/drugs, and the phenomenon of beautiful, mixed-heritage LDS women.

8. Religion, Sexuality & TV: Real Housewives of Mormon Wives

• Hilarity in recounting the “unprecedented” openness of Mormon wives about intimacy on TV—and linking this to a broader theory: “You can’t keep a society this removed from normalcy together without beautiful women.” (Mark, 30:00)
• The discussion humorously parallels this with Islamic “modesty” rules (“Islam had to cover the girls, the religion was growing too fast.” - Mark, 31:24)

9. Binary News & the Middle Ground That Doesn’t Exist

• Lengthy examination of “the internet radicalizing everyone to binaries”—America first vs. America last; every issue gets polarized, making nuance and middle-ground “boring” and unmarketable.
  • Akash: “The most important thing when reading the news is whatever you already believe is what you’re reading.” (63:47)
  • Mark: “The massive space in the middle, we assume most people feel...but there’s no creator that’s going, well, here’s the boring, gray middle ground.” (65:21)
• Lament that normal people are mostly in the middle, but these views aren’t “clickable.”

10. Trump & Greenland Satire

• Riff on Trump’s obsession with “taking” Greenland—how modern geopolitics forces even liberals to defend European colonial arrangements.
  • Mark: “Nobody’s making the argument that the ethnic group that’s been there thousands of years should have autonomy. People just say, ‘No, other white people own it.’” (53:19)
• Gags about Greenlandic (Inuit) culture and cuisine, narwhal eating, and how trends like sushi sometimes appear out of nowhere.

11. Sports: From College Football Miracles to NFL Heartbreak

• The guys cover Indiana’s Cinderella run to the top of college football under a new coach’s innovative “transfer portal” strategy.
• Touching story of quarterback Mendoza celebrating with his mother who has MS.
• Super Bowl odds talk, Bills’ recurring heartbreak, and the catharsis of rooting for new teams.

12. Media Consumption & the Future of TV & Films

• Mark and Shifty argue that traditional (“legacy”) media is now almost counter-cultural, as internet slop is so prevalent there’s a new appreciation for curated and “talented” TV/content (88:27).
• Talk of vertical dramas—TikTok/short-form, high-production soap operas in Asia—posing a real challenge to TV/film industry.
  • Miles: “This will be bigger than the film industry.” (104:15)

13. Meta-Commentary: News, Binaries, and Human Experience

• The crew cycles between mocking and mourning the erosion of moderation in online discourse, and fantasizes about “logging off,” living simply and loving their families—echoing Mother Teresa: “If you want to change the world, love your family.” (69:36)
• The conversation loops back to the dangers of radicalization among older people via screens, not just the youth.
• Final reflection: Most people are normal; it’s the profit-driven extremes that dominate online.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Political Binaries:
  “The most important thing when reading the news is whatever you already believe is what you’re reading...If it does support it, then I just would say that’s actually the truth.”
  — Akash (63:47)

• On Modern ICE Protests:
  “The protesters are doing the same thing ICE is doing. They’re just busting in like ‘We want him! Get him out!’”
  — Mark (07:24)

• On Salt Lake City:
  “Everyone in Salt Lake is tr—It’s like our Scandinavia...Our Norway. Our Sweden is Salt Lake.”
  — Mark (27:41)

  “You can’t keep a society this removed from normalcy together without beautiful women. If the girls were dogs, people would convert to like, regular Christianity. But the girls are so hot, they’re like, yeah yeah.”
  — Mark (30:57)

• On News & Internet Radicals:
  “There’s no clicks in the gray middle ground. If there's no clicks, there's no views; if there's no views, there's no money. So they're not talking about it.”
  — Mark (65:40)

• On Greenland (Colonial Riffs):
  “Nobody’s making the argument that ethnic group that’s been there thousands of years should have their own autonomy. No one says, ‘Free Greenland.’ They go, ‘other white people already bought them.’”
  — Mark (53:19)

• On Social Media's Impact:
  “My phone is just a Viking simulator...OnlyFans girls and then death. Carnage, hot girl...It’s just like, the most base human instincts.”
  — Akash (68:34)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00-03:10 — Akaash’s mom and the ICE/migrant hiding debate
• 07:06 — ICE protest at a church accidentally targets the wrong guy
• 13:17 — Dissecting the ultra-Orthodox Hasidic welfare documentary
• 21:03-27:41 — NYC vs. San Diego vs. Salt Lake City: “Best” city in America
• 30:00-31:24 — Mormon “Real Housewives,” sexuality and religion
• 53:19-55:01 — Greenland colonial politics, Trump’s obsession
• 63:47-68:10 — News, the internet, and the myth of middle ground
• 79:09-81:01 — NFL playoff drama: wildest game moments
• 88:27-104:17 — TV/media trends: streaming, vertical dramas, future of movies
• 104:15 — “Vertical dramas will outpace movies”—Miles’ bold prediction

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Tone

Unfiltered, rapid-fire, irreverent comedy—equal parts social satire and wild, intelligent banter. Sensitive listeners beware: flagrant humor trumps political correctness here.

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For listeners: This Flagrant episode is an ADHD rollercoaster of hot takes, satire, and pop culture breakdowns. If you want depth, wit, and real talk about culture, media, and identity—but filtered through unapologetic comedy—don’t miss this one!

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Transcript

[Akash]

My mom's complaining that she. She lost all of her friends on Facebook. Because she's liberal. Because she's, like, a liberal now.

[Mark]

Wait, what do you mean?

[Akash]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Shifty]

What? What? What?

[Mark]

This is huge.

[Shifty]

Can we start the episode?

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Akash]

Because my mom's now a lib.

[Shifty]

Okay.

[Akash]

She's horseshoed.

[Mark]

Start.

[Akash]

She's like. She's like, all of my. All my MAGA friends don't. Don't mess with me anymore, because I'm. I'm lived out. And I'm like, why are you lived out? She's like, well, I just, you know, I'm, like, talking against, like, ice and, like, foreign intervention, like, foreign wars.

[Mark]

And she's like, let's go.

[Miles]

Yes.

[Akash]

She's like, this is wrong. And all of her mega friends are disowning her.

[Shifty]

Wow.

[Akash]

And she's like. But the liberals don't like me either, because I think that, like, Satan is in charge of the world. So she's just kind of. She's kind of stuck.

[Shifty]

When did she get anti ice? Because I assumed she would love them.

[Akash]

No, she told me the other day. She was like, I would hide migrants in my house.

[Mark]

Wow. Yo, wouldn't you.

[Miles]

Gags, let's go.

[Akash]

But she's always been on that wave.

[Mark]

Like, she's like, wouldn't you also know.

[Akash]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark]

That's crazy. Puerto Rico is part of America. I don't know what to do for y'.

[Shifty]

All.

[Mark]

No. Wouldn't you, like, if you knew them? Like, this is someone you know, someone you care about, someone you work with.

[Miles]

Had the caveat.

[Mark]

Yeah. A stranger is a stranger. Yeah.

[Shifty]

Yeah, that's. But she means strangers. She means. She would take.

[Akash]

I think she does. I think she means strangers. Like, assuming, like. Like they're good. Like, they're not. Like, she's seven kids.

[Mark]

She's just having people she doesn't even know in the. But when it comes to an actual person that you. That you care about.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

[Mark]

And, like, you heard ice was coming, and they were like, yo, I gotta stay inside. You're gonna whistle? No. You would.

[Shifty]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Mark]

If somebody was like, is anybody here? You say, no.

[Akash]

Yes.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Yeah. Then you ask for a discount on that landscaping.

[Miles]

You would lie, probably.

[Shifty]

I missed his last line.

[Mark]

What'd you say? Hold on.

[Shifty]

Don't worry about it.

[Mark]

For the good people. For the good people listening.

[Akash]

Really? Make me replay the episode to find out.

[Mark]

Yeah, that's it. You gotta replay the episode to find out. I'll probably repe it again later. Let me get that. That Drink?

[Shifty]

No. You would lie. I don't know. If Mark could lie, his conscience is too guilty.

[Mark]

How would you get around the lie?

[Akash]

You can omit. You can omit. What's the question?

[Shifty]

Are you hiding migrants in your house?

[Akash]

No.

[Shifty]

No. Oh, okay.

[Akash]

They're not hiding. They're working.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Akash]

They're literally cleaning my house.

[Mark]

They've already migrated.

[Akash]

Yeah, exactly.

[Mark]

I'm hiding. Migrated.

[Akash]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark]

You know what I mean.

[Akash]

There's also migrants almost implies legal. These are illegal immigrants.

[Shifty]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark]

Also, you don't know that they're illegal.

[Akash]

I don't ask, don't tell.

[Mark]

That's another thing. You don't know that they're illegal.

[Akash]

I don't know where they're born. I don't know what their deal is.

[Shifty]

But illegals.

[Akash]

There's some people in my house. That's all you need to know. N. That's good.

[Mark]

You got to hide.

[Akash]

You got to hide them.

[Miles]

Yeah. Is there anyone in your house? Besides you?

[Akash]

Yes.

[Miles]

Who are they?

[Akash]

My wife and no one else, to my knowledge.

[Shifty]

You're a liar.

[Miles]

Oh, that's a lot.

[Akash]

Oh, also, well, I don't know.

[Mark]

I don't know where he's at.

[Akash]

Honestly, I don't know.

[Mark]

I don't know where.

[Akash]

That's a good ass point. I forgot. But then I'd be like, yeah, no, also my kid. Yeah. And then I would just leave it at that. You gotta do it, dude. Come on now. All human beings are worthy of human dignity.

[Mark]

What would I do?

[Shifty]

Yeah, he would.

[Miles]

Would you hide some migrants?

[Mark]

Yeah. Yeah, he would.

[Miles]

Right now.

[Shifty]

He would lie the way he lied to get you out of Swiss jail or Swedish prison or whatever it was. He would lie like that. He would be the best liar.

[Mark]

I ain't even lie.

[Shifty]

Wait, well, I thought you said you lied for him. This.

[Mark]

I said the black guy did it. That's why he was in jail in the first place. They came up trying to arrest me. I was like, I think it's that guy over there. Infiltrated your. You really weren't first.

[Miles]

Technically he did lie because the guy was claiming that I hit him like 15 times. And he's like. He basically was like, look at him.

[Mark]

He.

[Akash]

Hits him with 15.

[Miles]

He's hitting him with 15 punches in like two seconds or some shit like that.

[Mark]

He counted it. Yeah, he reenacted.

[Miles]

He was like, 1, 2. This is on the stand, by the way.

[Mark]

I did swing. And I had my form good too, because I was just being recorded. Have this out here in the streets. Are you in a suit Say again?

[Shelty]

Were you in a suit?

[Mark]

Nah, I don't think I was in a suit.

[Miles]

Couldn't even show up in a suit.

[Mark]

Why am I going to buy a suit? In Sweden they wear suits. Yeah, that's a good point. I showed up with the wooden shoes. I had the country wrong. They're like, sir, why are you wearing clogs to the courtroom? Isn't this professionalism?

[Akash]

It is what you guys do.

[Shelty]

Yeah.

[Akash]

Did you bob and weave while you were in there?

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Akash]

You're like, bang, bang, slip, slip, bang, bang, bang.

[Mark]

Racial epithet.

[Miles]

The way he throws a punch.

[Akash]

He's a lover, bro. You gotta make them underestimate, okay? You gotta make them underestimate. People are watching me. They're like, oh, he can't punch. And then they try to slide on me in the street. And all of a sudden you hit him with.

[Shifty]

You talked to him about Jesus.

[Akash]

Oh, is that a jab or a hook?

[Mark]

I'm glad you.

[Akash]

Bang, bang.

[Mark]

You can't prepare for something that doesn't exist. That's phenomenal strategy right there, Mark.

[Akash]

You never have to get ready if you're staying not ready. Exactly. That's smart, right?

[Mark]

You would pack that thing, though.

[Shifty]

I feel.

[Akash]

Oh, I hit him with the glaglaboon with that. Yeah.

[Mark]

No, you gotta hide some migrants, dude.

[Shifty]

You have to.

[Akash]

Yeah, you got to.

[Mark]

Now, if you don't know them, it's tricky.

[Shifty]

Right, because they're going to make you convert to Islam.

[Mark]

Exactly.

[Shifty]

That's a good point.

[Mark]

That's a good point.

[Shifty]

They're going to radicalize you. That's what you got to worry about.

[Mark]

You think they tried that with Aunt Frank at all? You think at any point they were up there like, you know, you just want to be Christian. There's a quick fix. If you just want to choose up, it's. You probably will be good. But wait a minute. I don't. Man, Hitler wasn't religious at all. No, the Catholics were getting it. The Jews were getting it.

[Shifty]

Oh, Catholics are getting it.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Akash]

Maximilian Kolbe. I'm glad you asked. He's a Catholic priest that was in a concentration camp that gave up his spot for freedom in the place of someone that was sentenced to death.

[Mark]

That's how annoying it is to be around that many Jews. Is that what you say? Is that what you say? Max was like, I got it. I got it. Get me out of here. Oh, my God. It's too much backgammon.

[Akash]

I forget exactly who it was, but they set him free. And then they were like, but this Kid is gonna die or, like, a woman or something like that. And he was like, I'll take their. And then he died in the place of torment.

[Shifty]

You believe that shit? You believe that shit?

[Akash]

Look it up. Look it up.

[Shifty]

They can make up any story. What's evidence.

[Akash]

Wait a minute.

[Mark]

This is interesting.

[Miles]

He believes the Bible says.

[Mark]

Can we not talk about the whole. Who are you, Don Lemon? We want to disrespect the congregation, Al. What are you disrespecting the congregation?

[Miles]

Nah, you can't talk about my gay brethren like that. So what.

[Shifty]

Bypass the whole black thing, by the way, when you're talking about.

[Mark]

So what happened? They busted in this church because one of the pastors apparently has the same name as someone who is an ICE official. I don't even know if they've confirmed it's the same guy. So they were protesting, I guess, the church, but it wasn't even the pastor that was doing the service right there. So. Yeah. What?

[Shifty]

Just imagine, dude, you're just trying to give a nice little church service, help some people, and then you're a fucking racist, and you're like, no, it's the other guy that.

[Mark]

But we. I don't even think they've confirmed that the other guy is an actual ICE official. Oh, but it is kind of funny that, like, the protesters are doing the same thing ICE is doing, that they're just busting into places like, we want him. Get him out.

[Akash]

Where is he?

[Shifty]

He looks like one of them. Yeah, he looks like a racist.

[Akash]

Yeah. This is why all the ICE people need their names on their badges. Because now you're getting people mixed up in the crosshairs.

[Mark]

Talk to me.

[Akash]

Because if they're like, I don't know, apparently, like, they're not named. Like, apparently they don't have, like.

[Mark]

Oh, yeah, they got the. The shies on.

[Akash]

Exactly.

[Mark]

It's insane. Yeah, right? It is insane. Yeah.

[Akash]

Yeah. It's a tough look.

[Mark]

And I think that, like, because we don't see it in New York, like, we're, like, somewhat detached from New Yorkers. Would not be going with this at all.

[Akash]

But then they fight that happening.

[Miles]

20Th Canal, and we weren't with that shit. And we were.

[Mark]

No, on Canal. It's fine. But they wouldn't be fine with that happened. Listen, Canal, clean some stuff up. That's how this works. You not going to be okay with it. 42nd Street. Get the pikachus out of there. But no, do I mean Pikachu?

[Shifty]

What about the kiddie pool full of live fish? That's not. We just got to let that stand.

[Mark]

That's on M. That's on M Street.

[Shifty]

Oh, that's not Chinatown.

[Miles]

It's called lunch.

[Akash]

Also, that.

[Shelty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

What do you think you're eating down there?

[Shifty]

Yeah. Yes, but just get it off the street, man. Just put it inside.

[Mark]

Yeah, it is a little peculiar to have the food out there, but I.

[Akash]

Kind of like it. New York really does have the best.

[Mark]

You like ice?

[Akash]

No, no, hold on. No, no, no. The migrants. My New York migrants in particular.

[Mark]

Yeah, we have the best everything.

[Akash]

Selling bags, you know what I mean?

[Mark]

Got the best. Everything's great. We got the best everything.

[Akash]

Also, have you bought a bag from a Chinese lady that takes you down the alleyway? Have you ever done this?

[Mark]

He buying bags?

[Akash]

Yeah, I bought a quarterback.

[Mark]

You got a fucking hand job, bros bag. Also, you could buy a real Michael Kors. It's like buying fake Ray Bans.

[Akash]

I swear to God, this is like maybe high school, maybe early college, I went and bought a fake Michael Kors bag.

[Mark]

First you gotta lick your lips, bro, because he's got the sesh powder all over your lips.

[Akash]

Dude, my lips been so dry since Salt Lake City.

[Mark]

For real.

[Akash]

I can't smile because they're gonna crack.

[Shifty]

Oh. Cause he went snowboarding, right?

[Akash]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Okay. Go on, Go on.

[Akash]

But how bad is it? How bad is it?

[Mark]

Use your saliva, dude.

[Akash]

No, no, no.

[Shelty]

I'm gonna do this.

[Mark]

What the is happening? My lips.

[Shifty]

Have you bought chapstick this whole time?

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Akash]

Oh, please. Yes. Oh, you're lit.

[Mark]

That's bad Black. He got vacillated.

[Akash]

The mini one.

[Mark]

The finger one, too. That's crazy.

[Shifty]

Black habits uses a washcloth.

[Miles]

I know. Yeah, yeah.

[Shifty]

He wants to know his enemy.

[Mark]

Wait a minute.

[Shelty]

Hold on.

[Mark]

Finish your story. You're in Salt Lake. Finish your story.

[Shelty]

I'll reward you.

[Mark]

Your story. Damn.

[Akash]

Damn.

[Mark]

We know how you would have treated a Frank. Yeah, we know how you would have treated her. How? Yeah, I don't know. Something like that. Probably with the rules.

[Shelty]

I'd hide a migrant. I'd hide a migrant.

[Mark]

Yeah, who wouldn't?

[Miles]

Yeah, but he tried to.

[Mark]

Cuz you can't. So how's my thought?

[Miles]

Okay.

[Mark]

Out of here. Earn your cap. He's like, yo, I got this gay hockey show. I'm here. Would you like to learn about hockey? But like you. Because you can't hire somebody knowing they're illegal. Yeah, let them work for you. And then when ice comes, act as if you weren't part of that whole transaction.

[Akash]

Yeah, that's crazy.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Right, yeah, of course. Yeah.

[Akash]

Yeah.

[Shifty]

You got to keep your hook up, too. It's very important. You can't lose that.

[Akash]

Yeah, it's a good point.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Akash]

You got someone that does good work. You know what I mean? Knows the deal.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Akash]

But I was going on, are we arresting criminals anymore? I think we got all of them.

[Mark]

Did we get them all? There weren't that many of them. Every criminal week one.

[Akash]

Yeah.

[Mark]

And now it's just people working all.

[Miles]

The guys at Home Depot. Yeah, yeah.

[Akash]

I think it's just meant to mess with states. They're just like, oh, I hate Tim Waltz. Let's go to Minneapolis.

[Mark]

At what point do the migrants just start wearing blackface?

[Miles]

How's that gonna help?

[Shifty]

I think I know where he's going with this.

[Akash]

Hear him out.

[Shifty]

Hear him out.

[Mark]

I'm just saying, like, hear him out. You saw a dude in America wearing blackface, you wouldn't assume they're migrant. You would assume they're maga.

[Shifty]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark]

So ICE would probably be like, nah, nah, he's cool. One of us. Yeah. Don't you think?

[Miles]

But most of them are, like, Hispanic.

[Mark]

Yeah, but I never covering that.

[Miles]

I never seen Hispanic and blackface.

[Mark]

I'm covering that.

[Akash]

It might never.

[Shifty]

So he must not be Hispanic.

[Mark]

How else can you tell he must be white. How else can you tell that they're Hispanic if you cover it? Is there any other indicating markers for you out? What's the indicating markers?

[Miles]

I don't know. The hands.

[Mark]

Maybe 5, 3, 240 pounds, a little gut. Boxing belt.

[Shifty]

You know how I knew I was fat in middle school? Besides the mirror? My principal always thought I was Mexican. Every time he saw me, he would say, hola, amigo. And I was like, God damn, I'm short and fat.

[Miles]

But that's because that's all they had down there. Yeah, it was whites and Mexicans.

[Shifty]

Yeah, right. But every time he saw me. Hola, amigo.

[Akash]

The hitch with the gordo ever.

[Shifty]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got hit with that by Mexicans. A.

[Mark]

That's a term of endearment, bro.

[Shifty]

Oh, bet. All right. They like. They like my little chubby ass.

[Mark]

That's a love. That's love right there. Now we got to shut down. We got to shut down ice. We got to focus it in, like, a more specific area.

[Akash]

Yeah, yeah. What do you think?

[Miles]

That town upstate in New York.

[Shifty]

I forgot the name.

[Akash]

The name is hilarious. Called Curious Joel.

[Mark]

Curious Joel.

[Akash]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Shifty]

I don't know this story, which is.

[Akash]

Just a funny name for a town.

[Miles]

Please try to find that video.

[Shifty]

This is.

[Mark]

What's the guy named? Tyler Oliveira.

[Miles]

Yeah, that shit is hilarious.

[Mark]

So go.

[Akash]

Well, basically he goes to this town, this is an upstate, and it is, like, predominantly Hasidic Jewish, which is a specific subset of, like, Orthodox Judaism. And he's basically making the claim that they're all on welfare. Yeah, I don't want to misrepresent his video. I didn't see the whole thing, but these are the clips I saw on Twitter. And he's basically going around interviewing people being like, what do you do for work? Who are you? Like, how do you make your money? And yeah, the title. Inside the New York Town Invaded by Welfare Addicted Jews. Kind of a ton tough name.

[Mark]

Welfare Addicted. Oh, my God.

[Akash]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Akash]

And we need him. Yeah, I didn't see the whole thing, so I don't want to speak out of turn. But basically the claim is like, they're all just stealing from the government. They're all faking being on welfare to leech. And it seems like right now people are not happy about it.

[Mark]

Yeah, he didn't have to go all the way to upstate New York, though.

[Shifty]

Yeah. So I was going there in Williamsburg, right?

[Mark]

Yeah, you could do it right there in Brooklyn. Yeah. If Tyler lives in. In New York City. Guys, very, very cool show. Part of the Netflix Comedy Fest. I know that they announced a million different shows. This is. This is a pretty cool one. Jelly Roll and I are gonna be doing the beautifully broken comedy night. Okay. Jelly's gonna host it. I'm gonna be doing a set. We got that we can't announce just yet. I. I think that you can maybe assume they're going to be special. May 8, 2026, the Greek Theater in LA. It's going to be a wild night. You know, I love Jelly. He's the man. And it's awesome that he wants to do. You know, host his comedy show. You know, Jelly's going to be doing music. We're going to get all sorts of people out there. I mean, yeah, I don't know. I'm very excited for it. I want to do something a little different for the festival this year, so I'm stoked to be a part of it. And we're gonna. There's gonna be some other cool people that are going to be a part of it, which we will not announce now for probably contractual reasons. But Jelly's well connected. He knows a couple people, you know, So I think it's going to be a pretty special night. Anyway, I want to see you guys out There. The pre sale is live now. You can go use the code. Andrew, you can go get those tickets right now. We will see you May 8th with the man jelly. Love you dogs. Very excited for this. Peace.

[Shifty]

All right, guys, knocking out all of our dates now. First of all, the Wilbur we sold out. Thank you so much. We got dates. Tickets available for Foxwoods January 24th. And this is exciting. First few weeks of February, I'm gonna be in Australia and New Zealand. So get your tickets. Akashing.com Also let's do Mark Gagnon, pro comic.

[Akash]

February 9, February 19, Washington D.C. and.

[Shifty]

February 22, Charlotte, North Carolina.

[Akash]

Let's go.

[Shifty]

Doing a benefit for the Food bank of New York. Ronny Chang is going to be there. Sam Morale is going to be there. Get your tickets as soon as you can. Saturday, January 24th. Let's go.

[Miles]

Yo. Nah. This Saturday. It's the best date night in all of New York City. So I'll see you guys there.

[Shifty]

Bang.

[Mark]

They have great electronic stores. Shout out B and H. We don't know what entertainment in New York City would be without you. Shout out B and H. Goats doing a great job.

[Miles]

Best store in the world.

[Mark]

Death store. It is kind of hilarious to like buy the most high tech electronic equipment from a guy who looks like he's from the 1600s. Like there's no. You're looking at him like there's no way you know how to use.

[Akash]

And they know it well.

[Shifty]

Everything.

[Akash]

That's crazy.

[Mark]

Everybody there got to have a college education like in the thing they're talking about.

[Akash]

Oh, really?

[Mark]

Yeah. Some weird, huh? Yeah. And like they sneak like black Hasidic Jews in there too. Yeah. Oh, wow. It's a really fun adventure walking around the street.

[Shifty]

They gotta expand. That would be great for Jewish pr. You just put a B and H in every major city in the south in particular.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Shifty]

Watch the views on Jews start to change.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Shifty]

Suddenly we're a little more pro Semite.

[Mark]

You could make an argument that they're responsible for all the negative views on Jews from selling the equipment.

[Akash]

This guy filmed this documentary, shut down the stores.

[Mark]

There would be no YouTube videos made about them.

[Akash]

They don't control the media. They do control the cameras. They control a lot of the cameras.

[Mark]

They do, they do.

[Akash]

But yeah, dude, you'll talk to a guy in full 1800s Polish gear. Ask him about like camera settings. He's like, oh, yeah, no, you need to be on this frame rate. This is ye.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Akash]

And then he just gets a flip phone call.

[Mark]

Dude, they got the flip phone Calls.

[Akash]

I told you, drug dealers.

[Miles]

The bad part is that they celebrate the Sabbath or whatever.

[Mark]

Oh, no, the bad part is they celebrate every holiday. So you'll go there on a random Wednesday, and it's shut down, like, Saturday.

[Miles]

How you close on a Saturday? That's when everybody shops.

[Mark]

Remember, nobody beats the whiz.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, they did.

[Mark]

They're open, like, three days a week, and they still beat every LOL electronic store.

[Akash]

Dude, did I tell you my. Because my wife works within the Hasidic community, and so she was the apartment one day with all these HIDIC women, and one of them gets a phone call.

[Miles]

Does she get paid an ebt?

[Shifty]

Isn't it fun to make welfare jokes?

[Mark]

No, I know, I know. Part of. Finally, you're on this. I'm okay. We did it, baby. That was his dream. Come. Dude.

[Akash]

She's sitting in the apartment, and the girl gets a phone call on her phone. And it literally goes.

[Mark]

Goes.

[Akash]

That's kind of funny. And she goes, why? And she's like, well, it's Jingle Bells.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Akash]

She's like, what's that? I swear to Hashem, bro.

[Mark]

She's like, that's.

[Akash]

She's like, that's a Christmas song. She's like, really? I just thought it sounded nice. And she's like, yeah, it's like a Christmas song. She goes, oh, okay, cool. I had no idea. I'd never heard of Jingle Bells in her room.

[Mark]

Open the window, drop the phone out of it.

[Akash]

But had no idea. They do live in, like, a very insulated. Insulated bubble.

[Mark]

Yeah. Yeah. It is fascinating. We used to, like, drive through it as a kid. My dad would, like, take us through it. You got to check this out. Huh? He's like, they're living like it's the 1700s still. Yeah. And it was cool to see. I don't know why he would do it. Yeah. Like, it was to the zoo or something. It was like a human zoo. No, it was like, this is a throwback. Don't roll down the window. Like, it is crazy.

[Shelty]

I run through that neighborhood when I'm. I live right on the edge of it, hunting.

[Shifty]

You owe me hunting.

[Mark]

You don't run. Who's getting circumcised? I want to see.

[Shelty]

But it's a fun neighborhood to run through because you're the only one. Everyone else is, like, speed walking and, like, doing. It's just such a fun neighborhood to go through. I really enjoy it.

[Shifty]

That's how you got to feel fast.

[Akash]

Truly.

[Shelty]

No.

[Mark]

Shout out to them, though. Shout out them. I Got a fake vaccine from y' all that didn't work, but Shout out, y', all, man. I got a fake. Was it a magazine or the booster? I forgot what I got, but I went out to Williamsburg and I got that. It was the booster.

[Shifty]

Because you got the actual vaccine.

[Mark]

I got the vaccine, yeah.

[Miles]

Sucker.

[Mark]

I know.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

You really. You really went the whole time without getting it?

[Miles]

All time. Wow. I mean, I don't know if the act stuff, we're allowed.

[Mark]

Oh, yeah. The Hasidic Frogger for the marathon. Yes.

[Akash]

Every year they do the New York City Marathon. Cuts right through their neighborhood.

[Shelty]

You know what they call their neighborhood? The Silent Mile. Because no one cheers.

[Akash]

Oh, that's so.

[Shelty]

There's no one down there cheering. It's all just neighborhood.

[Akash]

Oh, that's hilarious.

[Mark]

Gotta lock in punitive.

[Shifty]

Yeah, dude. Yeah.

[Miles]

That is so funny.

[Shifty]

I love them.

[Shelty]

I love New York.

[Mark]

New York is the best.

[Akash]

That's what I'm saying. Like, part of me is just like.

[Shifty]

It's literally 17 degrees outside right now.

[Mark]

So we're about to go to New York level.

[Shifty]

Come on. Because I felt myself buying in, and then I was like, what am I fucking talking about? 17 degrees out there.

[Mark]

So cold, though. Why are we here?

[Shifty]

Thank you.

[Mark]

What are we doing? Thank you. What are we doing?

[Shifty]

What an invalid question. I'm bringing up what an asshole. I am.

[Mark]

I'm. I'm indulging it. Okay. Where should we be? Where should we be?

[Shifty]

Southern California. San Diego. Greatest city in America.

[Mark]

You love San Diego.

[Shifty]

It's perfect. It's paradise.

[Mark]

Why is it perfect? Why is it paradise?

[Shifty]

It's a very small Punjabi community. No, I'm kidding. It's the best weather on Earth. People are friendly. The traffic isn't bad. So all the things that. That you like about LA are there, but none of the things you hate. There's no Hollywood phonies. Food is pretty good. Not great. Pretty good. Especially for Cali.

[Mark]

It's just.

[Shifty]

What's wrong with living there? It's great.

[Mark]

Strong military presence.

[Shifty]

Strong military. That is. Dude. A liberal state with a Republican city or vice versa. That's the. That's the way to do it. You need a liberal Austin in Texas conservative state or a Republican San Diego in a liberal state.

[Mark]

The yin and yang, they balance each.

[Shifty]

Other because they don't get too far.

[Mark]

Yeah, yeah.

[Akash]

I mean, New York.

[Shifty]

New York is socialist. We elected a communist that I pretend isn't a communist because I like brown people.

[Mark]

You know what I mean? We'll take it.

[Miles]

We'll take it.

[Mark]

Zoe's not a communist.

[Shifty]

I know. I love him. It's all love.

[Akash]

But he changed the Williamsburg Bridge.

[Miles]

You saw this?

[Mark]

He did. He. He stopped that little.

[Shifty]

Blew that up.

[Mark]

His first act as mayor was to get rid of the little ball.

[Akash]

A little jump.

[Mark]

Would you get a little air off of when coming into.

[Akash]

Always, dude.

[Mark]

And have you ridden on it since? Yeah.

[Akash]

And it's super limp.

[Mark]

Interesting.

[Akash]

That's my big issue. I thought he was going to build a ramp. I thought that was his plan.

[Mark]

That'd be fire.

[Akash]

But now he's not going to lie.

[Miles]

It's. They could have did a better job, though.

[Mark]

It's not that good. Yeah, it doesn't look great.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Akash]

Like, I'm like, it is safer if.

[Miles]

You'Re going to make this the big first thing.

[Akash]

Like.

[Miles]

Like, do it nicer.

[Akash]

It is. Apparently he did it off a comment. Someone, like, commented like, yo, if you become mayor, will you fix the bridge? And he was like, it'll be the first thing I do.

[Miles]

Oh, that's fire.

[Mark]

That's great.

[Shelty]

Social promises made.

[Shifty]

Smart dude.

[Akash]

You know, the guy that is mega.

[Shelty]

For Zoron was a guy who was like, yeah. I called Zon when he was my elected, like, official, and he got done for me immediately. I was like, oh, that's cool. He's very, like, close ear on the ground kind of guy.

[Akash]

But also, I don't know. Did you see Ricky Velez's post? He was like, ever since Zora got elected, Knicks have been two and eight.

[Mark]

Yeah, it's bad.

[Akash]

So I don't know how he's gonna fix that.

[Mark]

It's very bad. And I haven't come up with a joke yet connecting the two, But I thought by the second time I said, it's bad, I'd have one. And when I got to the third, I was like, I don't think it's coming.

[Akash]

You saw the pain.

[Mark]

I just felt the pain. Yeah, I know it's bad because my group chat was going crazy last time.

[Shifty]

Y' all lost to the mavericks, like by 20 or something.

[Akash]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Damaris hit me up. He's like, I don't know how he did that.

[Shifty]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Without Anthony Davis, just really embarrassing.

[Mark]

Yeah. Something's up. Something's up. Are you watching games, Al?

[Shifty]

No.

[Miles]

You know I'm a fake New Yorker.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Fake Knicks fan. Sorry, sorry.

[Mark]

Damn.

[Miles]

I know.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Miles]

That was crazy.

[Mark]

That was crazy.

[Shifty]

Crazy. Honest for you.

[Mark]

Made me feel uncomfortable.

[Akash]

You think about San Diego.

[Mark]

You made me feel a. Got you.

[Shifty]

I loves C, Al. Loves C. Yeah.

[Mark]

Yeah, I ain't going to lie like, where's Wheezy's house? Shouts to Wheezy, by the way, Wheezy just bought a new Wheezy. Is it in la?

[Akash]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Zip code that's addressing. No, you don't have to get the area. I just didn't know what city it was. I didn't know.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Wow. Good for her.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Have you gone over there?

[Miles]

Not yet.

[Mark]

She hasn't invited you over?

[Miles]

No.

[Mark]

Is there trouble in the gay podcasting network? What happened?

[Miles]

They gotta do a demolition, all that type of stuff.

[Mark]

Oh, she's gonna do complete renovation inside. Wow, that's.

[Shifty]

Yeah, that's money. When you buy a house and you're like, this house ain't nice enough. That is money. Let me tear down the house to build another house where I bought the house. Yeah, that is money.

[Miles]

She's doing good.

[Mark]

Good.

[Shifty]

God bless, dude. I love that.

[Akash]

Also counterpoint to your San Diego thing, Salt Lake City.

[Shifty]

Oh, you were there this weekend?

[Akash]

I love it, dude.

[Mark]

Yeah, tell me what.

[Akash]

Oh, it's. I. I can't say it's the best.

[Miles]

City in New York to go to a place colder than New York, but.

[Akash]

You can use the cold. You can't say Salt Lake is the best city because it is.

[Mark]

This is actually a good point.

[Akash]

It is racist to say it's the best city.

[Mark]

Why?

[Akash]

Cuz it's only Samoans, Lattice and la. It just is very, very white. So if you. If you're like, dude, it's the greatest city ever. It's like, well, why is it the best? You're like, well, it's quiet or whatever. Like, you gotta kind of, like, kind of back out of it. But it is one of the best. I love Salt Lake City with all my heart. Truly the best.

[Miles]

You just love the Mormons.

[Mark]

I love.

[Akash]

Yeah. Like, I think we call them LDs technically, but I do love them.

[Shifty]

Oh. It is the widest city I perform in. And I love Wise Guys Comedy Club. They're the best. The fans show up, but it's. I'm always like, I can count the minorities on one hand. Which for my show is very. I mean, for any of our shows, rare. But for me in particular, killer. It was like two Indians that didn't know what they were getting into.

[Akash]

Amazing, right?

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Akash]

It's just perfect because you get to utilize the whole thing the whole time.

[Miles]

Like, you're making it a little bit too much, bro.

[Akash]

That's why you gotta be like, it's good, it's good, but, like, it's you. It's cold, but you get to use the cold. And it's hot, but you get to use the hot. You know what I mean? Like, you get to go ski and you get to snowboard and snowmobile and put your kid on a sled, set him on a tube. New York is cold for no reason.

[Shifty]

Reason.

[Mark]

And hot for no reason. Like New York. Well, what I would say about New York is it works without the temperature. Like, yes, the temperature doesn't matter. Like, you're doing whatever you do. You can go do it. Like, you're going to massive square garden. You're going to summer, you're going to fall. It doesn't matter. But Salt Lake is all about the weather.

[Akash]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mark]

Entirely.

[Akash]

Yeah. And like, the culture that, like, the LDS kind of built.

[Mark]

Like, there's like, alcohol, things to do outside of nature. My only argument would be what, you're gonna go to swig and drink, like, Coca Cola with sugar in it? Dude, have you guys watched the Real Lives of Mormon Wives?

[Akash]

Oh, yeah, dude. It's all time. Great show.

[Miles]

This is the ones. They're all each other, right?

[Akash]

Yeah, that was part of it.

[Mark]

Let me tell you something. It is. Thank God they don't drink alcohol. What they're willing to share on caffeine. Unprecedented. Yo, these girls. This girl's talking about cutting off her beef curtains. She's like, yeah, my pussy just started getting hangy. She takes a slurp of a 44 ounce of Coca Cola with some, like, red sugar dye in it. She's like, yeah. So I had to chop them off. She shows all the girls her new vagina. Shows the cameramen everything. They have to blur it out because she's showing it. And what's really interesting about them is.

[Miles]

Show sounds amazing.

[Mark]

But what's incredible about it is that, like, they are so open with their sexual. But they're married and they don't shame sex within the marriage. It's really interesting. Like, they would shame sexual behavior outside of it. Like, if you're just like a. In the community, that would be bad. But once you're with your husband. He was clapping my cheek. And you can just say it. And they don't care. They'd share the stories with each other.

[Shifty]

Also worth noting, they're attractive. At least the one in the front seems hot.

[Mark]

Everyone in Salt Lake is a tr. It's like our Scandinavia.

[Akash]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Our Norway. Our Sweden is Salt Lake for a few reasons.

[Akash]

Tell me, please, no alcohol.

[Miles]

Yep.

[Akash]

Like, that helps.

[Miles]

No drugs.

[Akash]

No drugs. Being outdoors a lot.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Akash]

And then on top of that, they.

[Miles]

Don'T collect the processed food.

[Mark]

Right.

[Miles]

Don't they, like, try to eat.

[Akash]

They're healthy and like crunchy. But like, on top of that, you also, because of the LDS mission, Mormons going around like converting people.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Akash]

It is actually pretty diverse and you get like weird mixes. Would it be like a Filipino, Pakistani, lds, Mormon. You know what I mean?

[Mark]

Wow.

[Akash]

And then earlier you had like half Japanese Mormon.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Akash]

Samoan, like Guatemalan.

[Mark]

How did the Samoans end up embracing?

[Miles]

I like that.

[Shifty]

He's Mantatteo.

[Miles]

I like that he said the only reason why they're attractive is because they're mixed with other stuff that's non white.

[Mark]

No, the whites are good looking out there.

[Akash]

Yeah, they're all. Everyone's just good looking. But then you get mixing, you get nice.

[Shifty]

No, no, that's valid though, because it's not just hot white girls, which you would think it's mixed hot girls.

[Miles]

Just said it's all white people.

[Mark]

I'll be honest with you. I haven't seen a. I've seen non white men. I don't think they. I don't. I think they kick out to non white women or something. I haven't seen a non white woman. I see a lot of like male Samoans. You see male. Other things you mention, but it's females. It's just white women and like skinny in shape, blonde hair, blue eyes.

[Akash]

That's a stereotype.

[Mark]

Yeah, stereotype.

[Akash]

I mean, yes.

[Mark]

I mean, there's a few brunettes, but it's like there's one mixed girl on the show and she happened to have like a kid out of wedlock or something. It's kind of up. But she had a kid from a previous marriage or something. It happens.

[Miles]

I think you're not allowed to get divorced. I don't know.

[Mark]

You can probably frown upon either.

[Miles]

They like kick you out the community.

[Mark]

Community, maybe. I don't know. I mean, they're getting a little loosey goosey now.

[Akash]

Money shoulders.

[Shifty]

Money. That's what happens. They like change money to religion.

[Mark]

They change the dress code. I don't think they were on caffeine before. I think that's new.

[Akash]

Yeah, well, apparently caffeine thing was never doctrinal. It was always like inter. Interpersonal. Whereas, like, I don't think it wasn't in the Brigham Young was never like, oh, you can't drink caffeine.

[Mark]

It was like a coffee that don't drink.

[Akash]

But now. But they do a little ketamine. They love ketamine.

[Shifty]

Ketamine yeah, but like, on the show, really doctrinal, these.

[Mark]

They didn't know about the pharmaceuticals back.

[Akash]

In the day, but it's prescribed.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Akash]

And then they do, like, ketamine treatments.

[Shifty]

No, that sounds awesome, to be honest. That. You're really making a good case here.

[Akash]

Oh, it's this awesome. And then in the summertime, you go mountain biking, hiking. The weather's beautiful.

[Shifty]

I love all of it.

[Akash]

Sure.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Akash]

You get a little K. Hold.

[Shifty]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mark]

Shout out. Shout out. Salt Lake.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Akash]

Oh, it's just the best.

[Shifty]

Speaking of television, I'm on a flight to Arizona. Five hour flight. Guy next to me, me, locked into his laptop, ignoring the TV on the screen, all the movies that are there. I'm like, what the fuck is this guy watching? He's so locked in. And then I see this really hot girl, and I'm like, what show is this? And then I see Ally Larder and I, or whatever the name is, and I put together, oh, this is Landman. And my man was locked in.

[Mark]

How old is 17?

[Shelty]

Really?

[Shifty]

Yo?

[Mark]

How old is 17? How old, how old? I was like, who the. She's 28. She's 28 in real life. The character is 17. She's 28 in real life. Gross. Continue, please.

[Shifty]

I think the real years matter. And I think I might owe you an apology.

[Mark]

Yo, man, I accept it. I accept it. Never needed one, but I accepted, yo.

[Shifty]

Cause I was shitting on him for liking Lamb. Then when I saw the girl, I was like, maybe I need to share.

[Mark]

Your buds with her. That's what every girl in Salt Lake looks like. She's like, the quintessential Salt Lake Mormon girl that you can't keep. A society that is this, like, kind of, like, removed from normalcy together without beautiful women. If the girls were dogs, people would convert to, like, regular Christianity. But the girls are so hot. They're like, yeah, yeah. The tablets were buried in upstate New York. And the Jews made it to the shore. Something like that. The Native Americans were really out there. Like, all of it makes sense when every girl's a dime. And that's the reason in Islam they got to cover the girls up, man. Yeah, it was growing too fast. The religion was growing too fast from all the beautiful women. And they were like, we need to slow this thing down. We got to slow it down. They covered them up. They consolidated it. They had it in one region, and then that was it.

[Shifty]

But Al and I could still tell we cracked the code when we were there.

[Mark]

Yeah, but can you.

[Shifty]

Yeah, dude, we were telling you when.

[Miles]

You'Re there long enough, you know how when you're in college and you start thinking like sixes or tens? We saw three of us.

[Mark]

So hold on.

[Shifty]

That was a bad exam. That was a.

[Mark]

I know what I said. I know what I said. And I'm still standing on top angle. Let's go. How do you feel about it?

[Akash]

How do you feel?

[Mark]

I'm standing on it.

[Shifty]

You know how when you're in a new country, they're speaking a foreign language over time you still start to understand without realizing?

[Akash]

Yeah, exactly.

[Shifty]

That's what happened with Saudi we. You can still understand what's underneath the ni. Without really.

[Mark]

Yeah, exactly.

[Shifty]

That.

[Mark]

That ain't hit me like that. When I was out there. It didn't hit me like that. Maybe I'm just more faithful than you guys. No, I think it's more than me. I'm just not looking for on the road.

[Shifty]

It's jarring when you land at the airport because you're not used to it yet. So you just see, whoa, what's going on?

[Mark]

It was jarring.

[Shifty]

That's jarring everywhere.

[Mark]

Jarring me up. I got so jarred up, man.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Akash]

Hijabi women are pretty cuz they just focus on this.

[Mark]

It's.

[Akash]

It's face.

[Shifty]

Women are beautiful. Beautiful.

[Mark]

They limit the amount. Oh, hijab is different than niqab.

[Shifty]

Yeah, hijab is just. This niqab is.

[Miles]

Well, we were starting to get able to tell just from that.

[Akash]

Yeah. Eyebrow work.

[Mark]

See, where I would give pushback is. Remember during COVID when everybody wore the mask and everybody was good looking?

[Akash]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark]

Remember how much better looking people were on the streets when the mask was on? Do you remember that? A little bit. I think that's what happens out there as well. And what I would say is you treat good looking people better. Better. So maybe we are nicer to women in that part of the world when we can't see what their full heads look like. Do you think that's possible? That's. And we shouldn't be. We should be nice to everybody no matter what.

[Akash]

No matter what they look like.

[Shifty]

But I'm gonna start watching Landman and it's for only one reason.

[Mark]

So that's 16 year old in the show. Let's. Alex, she's 17 in the show.

[Miles]

She's not. I don't make it get better.

[Shifty]

He started playing with his pants look crazy.

[Akash]

Why is that bunched up so much?

[Mark]

You know who's with her? Huh? I think it's the Top gun guy who's also.

[Shifty]

No, no, no, no, no, no. Handsome son of a.

[Miles]

What's his name?

[Mark]

Glenn Powell, I think. Is it Glenn Powell that's with her?

[Miles]

Is that the girl that Miles went on a date with?

[Mark]

No. Oh, no.

[Akash]

Why'd you say like that?

[Miles]

Mosby putting in work?

[Mark]

No, I know he puts in work. Not. But that's not, you know, that's not it. That's not it. I mean, maybe it is it Miles.

[Shelty]

Michelle Randolph is.

[Mark]

Yeah, Miles not really feeling it today. A little salty or something. What happened? You have money on the game?

[Akash]

No, no, no.

[Shelty]

Everything's good. But apparently Michelle Randolph is dating Glenn Powell, so you are correct.

[Mark]

Yeah, I know I'm correct.

[Miles]

Who was the girl you went on?

[Mark]

What's up with him today? Why is Miles. He gave. He gave me some sass. I like that. He just talked right through me. Yo, what's up with you, man?

[Akash]

I got nothing.

[Mark]

No, something happened.

[Shifty]

It does seem like something's bothering me.

[Shelty]

This nothing is bothering me. And if you say nothing's bothering you, then it's more bothering.

[Akash]

You can just share with. It's just the guys.

[Mark]

Just the guys? Yeah. Just tell us what's going on.

[Akash]

I have no one else listening.

[Shelty]

I have nothing bothering me.

[Mark]

I think there might be something bothering you. And if there is something bothering you, I think that this is a safe place to share it.

[Shelty]

Yesterday was Blue Monday. I would like to say that sort of, I think, affected me.

[Mark]

Hold on.

[Shifty]

Is that what you're just.

[Mark]

It's just the way he steps into it is so magical. Yes. There was also Martin Luther King Jr. Day. But to him, he's like, it's blue, Mother. It's the saddest day of the year. I would like to bring up the fact that I had to work on Martin Luther King. I have a dream, too. We could get rid of this.

[Shelty]

I would like to say I worked on Martin Luther King Day and I didn't want to because it felt racist.

[Miles]

You couldn't even honor the holiday.

[Shelty]

No, I had to fix all the lights in it.

[Akash]

You were working.

[Miles]

I have to.

[Akash]

You were singing white spirituals.

[Shifty]

No.

[Mark]

What is a white spiritual?

[Akash]

Where are you.

[Mark]

Miles? What's up? I feel like you're just a little sad today or something.

[Akash]

Just be vulnerable and share with us.

[Mark]

So good. Can you be vulnerable?

[Shelty]

I'm so good.

[Mark]

How much you weighing in?

[Shelty]

How much am I weighing?

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Shelty]

Oh, I weighed myself today, and it was bad.

[Mark]

Okay, that's probably it.

[Shelty]

It was a bad number. You said I weighed 290 recently also.

[Mark]

You don't weigh 290.

[Shelty]

No, you said that.

[Akash]

I just repeated what you said right now.

[Shelty]

You said it at din. You guessed all of our weights, and mine was 290.

[Mark]

You guessed 290.

[Shelty]

Mark said that.

[Mark]

I don't think you're even at 2. I think you're 187.

[Shelty]

You're so kind. 201 this morning, everybody. 201.

[Shifty]

Nice.

[Mark]

Oh, that's. Yeah, that's a rough day.

[Akash]

No, that's a rough day.

[Shelty]

You don't feel good about it.

[Mark]

No, no, no, no, no. That's a rough day. Hold on. That's gonna affect your mood a little. I'm not gonna be like that, But.

[Shifty]

I get what he means. That psychological barrier to 100.

[Mark]

It's like if it came in at 9, you're like, I can fix this. 201 is like.

[Shifty]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark]

Do you feel all right? Can I ask you this as an honest question? At 201, when you feel hungry, is there part of you telling your body like, there's no way?

[Akash]

No, I'm full of food.

[Mark]

I'm full of it. Like, there's. There's reserves here somewhere.

[Shelty]

I have no calorie restrictions in my life. I have no fear of calories. It's such a funny problem.

[Mark]

Shift. You don't laugh. Shift the heel camera, then.

[Shifty]

Shift.

[Mark]

Shift. We're just trying to get to the bottom of miles of stress eating. What could possibly be stressing you out recently, thinking you eat, like, this much?

[Akash]

Nothing.

[Mark]

Okay, okay.

[Shelty]

But, yeah, 201 this morning, sort of a rough.

[Akash]

You're on a bulk.

[Mark]

You're on a bulk. Yeah, that's what I tell myself.

[Akash]

Yeah, that's fine. You bulk. You get to, like, 205, 290, and you come down, you're shredded.

[Shifty]

I tried telling myself that for a few years, but no muscle came in, so it just had to.

[Akash]

No, it's in there, bro. It's under.

[Shifty]

It is under 21.

[Akash]

Dude. Yes, dude.

[Mark]

I just can't believe that Mark dipped his lips in pop Rocks before the podcast. Give me the chat. You said you would. You said you would reward me, bro. Can't believe that we talk for a living, bro.

[Akash]

I'm telling you, it's dry up there in that sol.

[Mark]

No, I believe you. So dry.

[Shifty]

I think you're so white.

[Akash]

Dude. This is a great little Vaseline.

[Mark]

This is. Oh.

[Akash]

What?

[Mark]

What's wrong? So, yeah.

[Miles]

Where do you guys stand sharing.

[Mark]

Where do you guys stand with sharing? The. The lipstick?

[Shifty]

I don't care.

[Miles]

I don't do it.

[Shelty]

You want this one?

[Mark]

So you won't do it?

[Akash]

No, this bird. All right, this is a nice little vest. I like this. The same shape.

[Mark]

So you won't share a chapstick? Like, that's a lipstick I don't like.

[Akash]

With whom? With whom?

[Mark]

With whom would you share with me?

[Akash]

Never.

[Miles]

Out of here.

[Mark]

All right, all right, hold on.

[Miles]

You're the last person in the office I was sharing.

[Mark]

Okay, wait, why is that? Yo, the immediate knee jerk reaction from all of you.

[Akash]

I don't know where you're going to put it. Okay, my ass.

[Mark]

No, wait, why me? Why not me?

[Miles]

Come on.

[Mark]

What are. What is dirty about Marley?

[Shifty]

One of the dirtier human beings. Yeah, like, you'll take a shit, not wash your hands and then dap us up immediately.

[Mark]

You guys notice that? You can tell when I don't wipe my hands or wash my hands after?

[Shifty]

Yeah, because it's completely dry, so.

[Akash]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And your finger pierced through the paper somehow?

[Shifty]

Yeah, dude.

[Mark]

Don't you guys hate when that happens every single time?

[Akash]

It doesn't happen to anyone else.

[Mark]

Doesn't it happen to you guys every single time when you go single ply by accident on purpose? Like, aren't you like, oh, I forgot to fold it. Oh, no. How am I going to get this thing out of there? The only way is through.

[Akash]

Yeah, that only happens to you.

[Mark]

Do you guys find it satisfying to scratch, like, a little deep in the hole when you're getting a good scratch?

[Shifty]

No, I love when someone else does it, bro.

[Akash]

Just get a bidet, dude. I save it for the bidet.

[Mark]

I was. I was digging in my ass today while on the Deadlift bar. I was with my. With my trainer, Shout to Out Mike. And I. I was doing. I stopped the lift and I dug in my ass, right? And I looked at him, and he's just looking at me like he has no clue what he. Like. He's giving me the look like, I'm just gonna pretend I didn't see him do that in front of everybody at the gym. And I was like, yeah, man, sorry. I just had to dig in my ass. And he goes. He goes, yeah, I get it. All right, give me 10.

[Shifty]

Oh, my God.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Akash]

Why was it so itchy?

[Miles]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Mark]

Is it wiping?

[Shifty]

I don't know.

[Akash]

Yeah, we're gonna get you a bidet. Don't even worry.

[Mark]

We're gonna get signed to the bidet. All right, guys, let's take a break for a second. You See the lights. You already know what time it is. Bluechew back out here with a banger of a product. Okay? We already know. Bluechew. Delivering the best dick you've ever really bestowed on anyone in your entire life. If we're gonna be factual about it, we already know that that is happening. Happening. Why they decide to up the ante, I don't know. I don't know. They didn't need to, but they decided to blue chew gold. Okay? I could give you all, like, the facts, and they go, it's got the morphine and oxytocin and all this. You're up in 15 minutes. You're up in 15 minutes. You'Re ready to go. 15 minutes. The other one, maybe we're looking at 30 minutes minutes now. You're up in 15 minutes. Okay, yes. It's got the other stuff for the arousal, and you're up in 15 minutes. 15 minutes. That's the only amount that you need to stall is 15 minutes. Okay? You are ready to go. She's like, oh, I'm ready to go. 15 minutes. You go down for five minutes. You know, you could talk about Mormon wives for five minutes. Yes. The last five minutes, you could do some dry humping, and then you're ready to go.

[Shifty]

Yes.

[Mark]

My point is, it's 15 minutes. Everybody can delay 15 minutes. Oh, I gotta go wash my hands. I gotta go get a snack or something, you know? 15 minutes, okay? And what you're gonna do is you're gonna get 10% off your first month of bluechew gold with the code flagrant as a promo code flagrant. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank Bluechew for sponsoring this podcast. This episode is brought to you by Row Nutrition, Rho Nutrition and their liposomal glutathione. I think I pronounced that right. And for the flagrant folks out there, the asshole army, you get 20% off with the code [e-mail] now, let's be honest, okay? We drink, we travel, we eat like trash. Sometimes we're stressed, and then we act surprised when we wake up feeling foggy, run down, or just off. Well, here's what's actually happening. All that stuff builds up. Your body doesn't magically reset overnight. It relies on glutathione, the body's master antioxidant, which is basically your liver's cleanup crew to grab all these toxins and metabolic junk and get it out of your system. The problem Modern life drains your Glutathione fast. And most glutathione supplements don't do anything because they don't absorb rose. Liposomal glutathione actually works. Okay. It uses liposomal delivery system clinically proven to increase absorption and you feel the difference. This isn't some wellness influence or nonsense. It's damage control. It's helping your body do what it's supposed to do instead of falling behind. So go to rownutrition.com use the code flagrant to get 20% off. Off again. That is flagrant for 20% off your liver. Well, thank you. Now let's get back to the show.

[Shifty]

Oh, yo. Shelty watched his first college football game yesterday.

[Mark]

Yeah, my. It's almost my first. No, I did watch the. I did watch the championship. Yeah. What you think?

[Shifty]

I mean, it was. I had to miss the very end, which sucked. But it was a amazing game. And by then it was pretty much wrapped up. It was just like.

[Mark]

But no, it was close up to the end. Like they had one final drive.

[Shifty]

Yeah. And Indiana is. It's the maybe the greatest story I've ever seen in sports.

[Mark]

Yeah. Can you break. You were breaking this down yesterday. Can you explain why Indiana just became a college football powerhouse?

[Shifty]

So, yeah, I'm not a massive college football fan. I'm a casual. I'll watch on SportsCenter. And then toward the end of the year I get interested. Indiana has never been good in my 41 years on Earth. They are actually the literal losingest team in Division 1 football history. Wow. Oh, wow. More losses than anyone in Division 1A or whatever it is. And then all of a sudden, last year they were good. They hired this new coach and we all kind of thought it was fluky. They lost in the playoff and then this year they go undefeated, defeated. And they're one of the greatest teams of all time. And it is based on this coach. This one guy, Chuck Signetti is his name. He came from a school at James Madison University. He went one there kind of out of nowhere and then he brought a lot of those players over. And his, his method is really interesting because college football my entire life has been run by these like, blue blood programs. The sec, schools like George, Alabama, Michigan, Ohio State, you've mit, lsu, whatever. And they have all the big boosters and all the big money and all the fertile grounds of football players are in Texas and Florida and California or whatever. So they just throw money around and nobody can compete. And it's been the same good teams my entire life. What this guy does is he's like, okay, I can't get some 18 year old, 5 star recruit high schooler who's one of the best high school kids in the nation. So I will explore exploit what's called the transfer portal. So these are older kids who might not be able to play at some of these other schools who are less highly recruited out of high school school. But they're grown men, they're 22, 23, 24 years old. He brings them over and a lot of people are saying that's unfair. But somebody brought up a good counterpoint which, which was if all that matters is age, BYU to bring up the Mormons again, why wouldn't they be the best school every single year?

[Mark]

Because they go away before they go to school for a couple years.

[Shifty]

They go do mission trips for two, three years. That's like a thing you do as a Mormon. So it's not just the age. He also like has a very interesting practice philosophy. They don't do grueling practices that last hours and hours, hours. We're going to practice, we're going to practice correctly and then we're going to get the out. Everything is done very efficiently like that. He's also a hard ass in that he won't ever really show emotion or happiness. Like they had a bye week. All the best team, the four best teams in college had a week off and then they got to advance straight to the second college football playoff game. Three teams lost, one team won and it was Indiana. And he was like I told my team on no uncertain terms that we were not going to have a let down. He basically just reamed him and was like, we're not doing that. They decimate Alabama, who's one of the greatest college football programs ever. Then the next round they play Oregon, beat the out of them. Their quarterback, sweetest kid on earth, Latino kid, two Latino parents, mom has Ms. This guy literally is the perfect human being. He is in the first two playoff games had more touchdowns than incompletions.

[Mark]

Wow.

[Shifty]

Whoa. He had like eight touchdowns total and like five incompletions.

[Miles]

That's crazy.

[Shifty]

Unfucking.

[Miles]

That's the Mendoza kid, right?

[Shifty]

That kid Mendoza and Miles said this. I didn't even know. Whenever they show, the parents are always sitting down and celebrating. The dad doesn't stand up because his wife has Ms. And she can't stand up. So he only celebrates with her sitting down. It's like the sweetest story. This kid won the Heisman. He's going to be the number one pick and he's just like Catholic.

[Mark]

Catholic who just.

[Akash]

It's an interesting point just to add.

[Mark]

I just can't believe you don't call ice on him. Like, if it's the championship game, if it's. If. If everything is on the line.

[Shifty]

That's true.

[Mark]

And we're just arresting American citizen anyway. That's true. Why aren't you going after the quarterback from the opposing team?

[Akash]

Yeah, that is good strategy.

[Shifty]

I mean, if you're a Miami fan, you probably can't call ice.

[Mark]

That's a good point.

[Shifty]

You probably compromised.

[Mark]

He was about to be part of America.

[Shifty]

Don't worry. Okay, fair enough.

[Mark]

They're coming home.

[Shifty]

But, dude, the last touchdown he scored was like. I think they were up. This is also fire. They were up 17 to 14. Indiana was. And they had the ball at like the 10 yard line. It's 4th and 5. They could kick a field goal and go up 20 to 14. But if Miami scores a touchdown now, they're losing. So the head coach says it, let's go for it. This guy who's the Heisman Trophy winner, who's going to be the number one pick in his last game, just throws his body over the goal line to score a touchdown. Gets hit from in front and behind and he just goes, my teammate. Fast forward. Watch this. So he also. He's already got the first down. But look at this.

[Miles]

Guess he can run, too.

[Shifty]

Damn, he's not even a good runner. But he just won the game. And he goes, look at this. He's celebrating.

[Mark]

Oh, I thought she was dying, son.

[Shifty]

She can't stand. Dude, she has Ms.

[Mark]

So you're not fully wrong.

[Miles]

Dude. I know, but when they cut to it, she.

[Shifty]

Ow.

[Miles]

My bad. That's really my bad.

[Mark]

Yeah. There's a moment during the game where they cut to a Bella Danger in the stands. She's a porn star. Do you know who she is? You know a Bella Danger? No, you don't got a lot.

[Akash]

You probably recognize her face.

[Mark]

Probably recognize that you got a lot.

[Akash]

How do you guys know the average.

[Miles]

Person, know the names of these.

[Mark]

The only. Listen. Who. She's a big University Miami fan. I think she's, you know, furthering her education. Okay. Okay. That's one way of describing it. But she's very concerned. We don't know what she does for a living.

[Akash]

She might have retired.

[Shifty]

I don't know.

[Mark]

She might have retired, Al.

[Miles]

Oh, if she retired, you know.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Can we see more pictures?

[Shifty]

Yeah, I think it's kind of cute.

[Mark]

Anyway, point is they. They cut to her. And, like, you could tell someone in the booth, like, some young kid was, like, tapping the director, because they cut away very fast. Like, usually they'll milk a beautiful girl in the crowd for a little bit. That cutaway was instantaneous. There was an old director who wasn't up to date with the young porn stars locked in, and he was like, ooh, we got a beauty that's going through it right now. She's a Miami fan. And there was somebody tapping his knee. Like, you're going to hear about this one. You're going to hear. There she is.

[Shifty]

I mean.

[Miles]

Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen her work.

[Mark]

Yeah. I don't even know how that's, like, physically possible, the position she's in right there.

[Shifty]

I mean.

[Akash]

I mean. But with all due respect to, like.

[Mark]

But that's. Can you go back to that one? Because that would be. With all due respect, as you say, that would be the position to eat it. Right.

[Miles]

This is very comfortable.

[Shifty]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mark]

Would that be it?

[Miles]

Be comfortable? Yeah. You don't have to, like.

[Shifty]

Yeah, no hesitation. Hungry. I'm gaining weight for a reason. I'm a hungry boy.

[Akash]

You could have a walking desk and make that work.

[Mark]

That's fire.

[Akash]

But I think, like.

[Shifty]

What?

[Akash]

You never got one of those, like, the treadmill.

[Mark]

That's fire.

[Akash]

It's fully standing. But if you're going to be putting women on from Miami, there's a decent chance one of them has a. Has a link tree.

[Miles]

What are you trying to say?

[Shelty]

A link tree.

[Akash]

There's a lot of link trees in Miami. I've been to Miami and there's a lot of link trees in Miami.

[Mark]

Listen, there is a guy who's running for governor. I think he's got John Fishback, I think that's his name. And he is proposing a syntax. Yeah. 50% for only fans, models.

[Akash]

Yeah. Which is hilarious. Yeah.

[Mark]

Florida.

[Shifty]

Wow.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Miles]

That.

[Akash]

If you are.

[Mark]

If you're.

[Akash]

If you got a link tree in Florida, you got to pay 50%.

[Mark]

Dude. I had a. I had a guy I know. Okay. I didn't even know Cuba was on the table. So I think table. I think Trump got, like, a boner after the, like, I think the Venezuela thing went too.

[Shifty]

You know what I mean?

[Mark]

Like, I actually think, like, if it didn't go so well, it might have been better for the state of the world.

[Akash]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Because I think it went so well that Trump's like, oh, I could just kidnap people now, like, wherever I want. And, like, I mean. Yeah, I really Think, like, I don't even think in his head, he knew these things could happen.

[Shifty]

Yeah. Now it's a heat chick.

[Mark]

Yeah. Yeah, he's on fire.

[Shifty]

See what else I got.

[Mark]

Because he sends some shit like, you know, Cuba. Figure it out. And then a guy told me today, he's like, I wouldn't go long on Miami real estate right now. I go, why? What are you talking? Like, I'm not buying anything Miami. Like, what do you mean? He goes, if Cuba comes on board, they're all going to go back home. And he didn't say it sarcastically. He was like, I was speaking to some guys and they think. They're like, you know, Cuba will be part of the United States of America in some way, shape or form.

[Shifty]

Wow.

[Mark]

I mean.

[Akash]

I mean, this is the tricky part with modern imperialism is on the one hand, you're like, no, every nation is sovereign. You should respect their rights and their leaders. On the other hand, you're in the imperial Havana. Sounds awesome.

[Mark]

You know, they got those old cars. Don't we want some old cars?

[Shifty]

It was supposed to be like a resort thing, like a.

[Akash]

Like, that was the Vegas of the East Coast.

[Mark]

But the. Yeah, the mother locked up. What'd you say?

[Shifty]

I love me and Aruba. Yeah.

[Mark]

So it's. But I don't want to do that. I mean, I don't know. All this shit is just ugly. Like, it's just a shit. You should be able to do this diplomatically. You know what I mean?

[Miles]

Like.

[Mark]

Like the. Like, even the Greenland shit, I cannot fathom that. We cannot do whatever we want with Greenland. I find it hard to believe that we can't just call up Denmark and be like, yo, can we put a base over here? Yo, can we refine some minerals over here? I can't believe that Denmark is going, no, you can't. And we're not going to allow that. Like, don't we already have a base there? Don't we already have a presence in Greenland?

[Miles]

We do, but, like, China was already, like, buying up mines and shit like that.

[Mark]

So that's why. So then you make a phone call, be like, yo, don't sell in the mines. We'll buy at the mines.

[Miles]

Like, I. I feel like we did that already. This was like, back in 2022, I believe. So now he's like, if it's just ours now, we can just. We don't have to buy.

[Shifty]

Can I.

[Mark]

So this is crazy. It's like, they do what you want. And then he goes, well, I might as well just take It. If it's ours.

[Shifty]

Oh, I thought they said no. And that's why he's like, maybe just take it. They said yes to selling it to.

[Miles]

The U.S. no, no, no, no. They said no to selling to the US But I'm talking about the minds, like, letting other countries come in and collect some of their resources. Now Trump is just like, oh, if we own this shit, nobody can come in.

[Shifty]

Walk me through the hole in that logic.

[Akash]

Just walk me through it.

[Shifty]

I'm not saying it doesn't exist.

[Mark]

I'm just saying this is the funny shit. This is the funny shit.

[Shifty]

Which imperialism we want.

[Mark]

So Mark and I were talking about this last night, but this is the funny shit about it. Is it, like, it's made people defend European colonialism, right? Because Trump's like, we're gonna take Greenland. And it's forced people to go, you can't take Greenland. White people in Europe already own them. Like, nobody's making the argument that ethnic group that has existed there for thousands of years should have their own autonomy. Nobody's made that argument. Not one person said, free Greenland. They go, no. Other white people bought them. They bought them and owned them in perpetuity.

[Akash]

Yes. We have to protect their floral interest.

[Shifty]

Important question. Ask the people of green Greenland. Are they not white?

[Mark]

No, no. The people of Greenland are. They eat narwhal.

[Akash]

Pull up a pig.

[Mark]

Pull up a pig.

[Shifty]

I need to see what they optically look like before I decide how I feel.

[Mark]

More.

[Akash]

More.

[Mark]

I would say, like, Cambodian.

[Shifty]

Oh, we can't do that.

[Mark]

Oh, really?

[Akash]

They're Inuit vibes.

[Mark]

Yeah, Yeah. I think they're like.

[Akash]

Oh, I didn't know they're Inuit first nation then.

[Shifty]

I'm not. I thought they were, you know, very well.

[Mark]

I think people assume that they' like Vikings.

[Shifty]

Yeah, that's what I said.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I thought it was just Denmark getting rid of their people.

[Mark]

How?

[Akash]

Denmark's Australia.

[Miles]

Yeah, exactly.

[Mark]

No, I think they're more than the criminal.

[Shifty]

Adorable. You can't do that to them.

[Mark]

But isn't it funny that nobody is going. Should. Should Greenland be able to just be their own country? Like, that's not even on the table. That discussion is not allowed.

[Shifty]

Oh, hey, hey.

[Akash]

This Ms. Greenland.

[Mark]

2424.

[Akash]

Let's go.

[Shifty]

I love that.

[Mark]

I mean, we might need to take it. Hey, hey, Run that narwhal. Narwhal. Nah.

[Shifty]

Jesus. I know.

[Akash]

Yeah, she's beautiful. With all due respect.

[Mark]

What? You didn't say anything wrong.

[Akash]

No, but I was thinking it. I did.

[Mark]

Gabe, with all due Respect for the intrusive thoughts.

[Akash]

Yeah, exactly. Dude, I just saw myself ice fishing, dude. I wanted to find a hole, drop the rod. With all due respect, I don't know.

[Shifty]

Why I thought that.

[Mark]

I shouldn't have thought that.

[Akash]

Come on.

[Mark]

Okay, but that is kind of funny, right? Oh, yeah. These are the videos that we watch right here. Don't say we, dude. I send these videos to Mark. It's so funny. Can I say what you said? What I said? Okay, so this is narwhal. This is like a. I guess now it's a. A very. Well, it's always been a popular dish. Not that thing that they're eating. The first thing that they're eating.

[Shifty]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark]

And they cut it up with this, like, curvy knife. I don't know the name of it. And this guy was doing this mukbang with the narwhal. You see how they cut it right there and then they dip it in this, like, little soy sauce thing. And this guy was doing this. This video, and he was like, you know, this is a delicacy for us, and it's how we honor our ancestors. And I sent the video to Mark and I was like, look, this is how they honor their ancestors. And he goes, you want to honor your ancestors? Eat a fucking burger. They didn't want to eat narwhal. Out of your mind. Oh, this is the guy. This is the guy. I watch his videos all the time. His name is Brandon. What is it?

[Shifty]

Brandon Cadlone?

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Akash]

And he's Greenlandish.

[Mark]

No, I think he's from.

[Miles]

I want to understand the people. What's all the face tattoos and all that shit?

[Mark]

I think it's cultural.

[Akash]

Yeah, it's like, indigenous. Like. Like the Maori.

[Mark]

Yeah, yeah, the Maori people. Anyway, gotta try it.

[Miles]

Bunch of drill rappers over there.

[Akash]

But yeah, I bet. Like, I don't know. I recognize on the one hand, like, people's relationship with their ancestors probably tenuous. Specifically in colonial states, probably hard, right? You try to reconnect with something that was taken from you.

[Mark]

With that said, talk that shit. With that said, that was some chatgpt. How can I defend this offensive thing that I'm about to say? Yeah.

[Akash]

With that said, if you went to your ancestors, you're like, yo, I got some narwhal for you. They'd be like, fuck, no, we don't want this.

[Mark]

You got A.C. we want chilies.

[Akash]

We want to be in America. Like, let's roll.

[Miles]

Wait, but what if it tastes good?

[Akash]

It probably tastes good, but nothing tastes better than A fucking big Mac at.

[Miles]

2Am you convince yourself to buy overpriced priced sushi.

[Akash]

Yes.

[Miles]

All the time. Ain't that just the same?

[Mark]

Well, if it was good, wouldn't it be available everywhere else? That's the thing. Like good food.

[Miles]

Maybe the world has a sub world.

[Mark]

I don't think there's one dish that's not delicious that isn't in every major city on the planet. Because if it's really that good, we're gonna go fish your seas. So you don't have it anymore.

[Shelty]

Right?

[Mark]

Like wouldn't. Isn't that kind of how every now.

[Akash]

And again some new drops. So we're like, wait, this was here the whole time?

[Mark]

Break it down.

[Miles]

We didn't even know what Greenland people.

[Mark]

Look like until right now. Yeah, I knew.

[Shifty]

Probably because they didn't have any food worth eating.

[Miles]

That's true. Like, we got to try this.

[Akash]

We didn't know about.

[Mark]

I don't think he's from Greenland. We should check that out though. I thought he was. I thought he was elastic.

[Miles]

Yeah. We have to be accurate. You know, we got.

[Mark]

Listen, listen. We're changing culture. This podcast will literally change culture. And we got to make sure more specific.

[Akash]

We are. It helps with stereotypes. You know what I mean? If you're too broad and it's like, ah, what are we even talking about? If you get real nuanced, oh, that's a sweet spot.

[Mark]

But the Canadian Inuit.

[Akash]

Oh, Canadian Inuit, Nice.

[Mark]

There you go.

[Akash]

But yeah, I'm like, I don't know. There's some. We just found out like people weren't eating like salmon Sushi until like 30 years ago. You know what I mean?

[Mark]

Yeah. Because salmon isn't indigenous to Japan. Right. I read this that like Norway had this excess.

[Akash]

Yeah.

[Mark]

They had this like hundreds of pounds of salmon. They just had to get rid of it. So I guess they sold it to.

[Akash]

Japan and they kind of branded it as like new sushi.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Akash]

But we just found out about that. Remember Chia? Where was Chia this whole time?

[Mark]

Yeah, yeah.

[Akash]

No one ever heard of Chia then it was in every pudding for like five years.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

But I feel like we could live without that. Like that's going to work its course.

[Akash]

But there's so many things like that. What even. You know what I mean?

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Akash]

There's probably some little sneaky Indian dish that no one even knows about that's like, oh, this is fire.

[Mark]

Great time for a joke. Who wants to throw it up? This is a perfect time.

[Shifty]

I thought, I thought it would Happen. I prepared myself mentally.

[Akash]

Angel hair pasta, maybe. I'm like, I don't know.

[Miles]

I'm trying to think, nah, we gotta try it. We gotta give it a try.

[Mark]

We gotta.

[Miles]

It might be.

[Akash]

We gotta do it. It probably is, though, right?

[Miles]

And you could open your first. Whatever that food is called spot here in New York.

[Mark]

Be the first.

[Miles]

Yeah, I can remember the name.

[Mark]

Narwhal. Narwhal. Narwhal. Are those little, like. It looks like a seal with a huge horn, Like a unicorn. All right, guys, let's take a break for a second. Talkspace is the number one rated online therap, bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists that you can access anytime, anywhere. I stand by therapy. It is absolutely amazing. I remember when Talkspace came out, people were like, I'm not going to have a phone call with my therapist or like a zoom meeting with my therapist. That's how all therapy is done now. Every single therapy. People are not going into the office, okay? They're doing zoom meetings with their therapist, talking. Talkspace got to it before COVID Okay. Talkspace was doing this before everybody transitioned. They're fantastic at it. Okay? Better mental health leads to better health overall. Just like your physical body needs exercise, your mental health needs maintenance and attention. The better your mental health is, the better your physical health is, and vice versa. Talkspace helps you build confidence and skills. Their therapists not only listen to you, they provide valuable techniques to manage your stress or conflicts in your life, helping improve your coping skills and and self awareness. Better communication leads to better relationships. Life is all about how we are in relationship with one another, and the communication is key. Talkspace can help you identify obstacles and create new, meaningful connections. Talkspace makes getting the help you need easy, accessible and affordable. Plus, most insured members have a $0 copay. As a listener of this podcast, you'll get $80 off your first month with Talkspace when you go to talkspace.com flagrant and enter the promo code SPACE80 that is S, P, A, C E80. To match with a lice therapist today, go to talkspace.com flagarant and enter the promo code SPACE80. David Protein Bars. You've seen them, you've tried them. I don't know if you've tried the bronze product that they got right now. It's absolutely amazing, incredibly delicious. They're committed to delivering the most protein and the fewest calories. That's what we want in a protein bar, okay? We want the most protein, the fewest calories. David does it? Nobody's close. To put this in perspective, David delivers 150 calories. Calories, okay. Zero grams of sugar across both its Gold and Bronze product lines, delivering 28 and 20 grams of protein, respectively. That's 75% and 53% calorie from protein. The highest protein per calorie ratios of any leading bar on the market, which typically around 40%.

[Akash]

Okay.

[Mark]

Not only are the macros undeniable, but these bars taste amazing. The bronze are out of here. It's unbelievable. This feels like a snack. It doesn't feel like you're doing something to build back up your muscles, which you absolutely are. Okay, David. Protein bars are perfect. Whenever I'm in a rush, I need a quick snack before a pod. I'm about to go do shows. Get a little David bar going. With David, I'm able to get over 20 grams of protein, just the calories of a snack. So head to davidprotein.com flagrant where they're offering a special deal from for our listeners viewers. When they buy four cartons, they get their fifth free. You can also use their store locator to find David Gold bars in stores. Now. Let's get back to the show. Did we figure out the daycare situation yet?

[Akash]

No. Truth is unknowable. We're beyond truth.

[Mark]

We are beyond truth. Some of them gotta be legit.

[Akash]

You can't know anything.

[Miles]

Some of them are.

[Mark]

Some of them are legit. Can we talk about how frustrating that must be if you had a legit Somali daycare in the city where there are illegitimate ones and what they're doing, going through.

[Miles]

And then you got a bunch of white people knocking on your doors with cameras.

[Mark]

We're the kids. That's scary. Isn't that crazy?

[Akash]

There's probably some concerned parents watching the video being like, that's the daycare. My kid goes. Where is the kid? Wait a second.

[Mark]

So does anybody. Did anybody get to the bottom of this story or.

[Akash]

No?

[Shifty]

No, I don't think it's been.

[Akash]

No, no. Probably the truth is somewhere in the middle where, like, there's some fraud and there's some legit, and the reality will probably never make the light of day.

[Miles]

And then I shot a lady in the face for three times time. So kind of derailed the story.

[Shifty]

Kill a story with a story.

[Akash]

Yeah.

[Shifty]

Nice job, Ice.

[Mark]

Yeah, we started talking about that and we stopped talking about the smaller daycares.

[Akash]

Exactly. Yeah. Most important thing when reading the news is that whatever you believe is what you're reading. And like, as long as it reinforces that that's how I live. I just. I believe something. And then if I read news that goes against that, I say it's not real. And if it does support it, then I just would say that's actually the truth.

[Mark]

That is the Internet, right? Like, I will scroll on TikTok when the news story comes out and there is a guy going debunking the whole Somali front, and then there's another guy. Guy going, exposing the whole small. It's the exact same information.

[Akash]

Just pick your favorite one. Just pick.

[Mark]

That's the problem.

[Akash]

That's the beauty. You just pick and you don't think critically. You just go, oh, nice. I was right the whole time. What are the odds? I've been right 20 times out of 20.

[Mark]

Isn't it so much. It is so much easier to just pick a side and, like, ride for that. Like, I get when I see people do that on the Internet, Like, I get why, like, we're talking about, like, the binary. It's either the Internet right now. It's either American first or America last. And that's it. America last. Meaning, like, everything America does is bad. Yeah, Like.

[Shifty]

Like everything America does is perfect and.

[Mark]

Done for every reason.

[Akash]

Right?

[Mark]

Like, everything America. Everything America does or everything Trump is doing is 100% legitimate, and we need to do it for whatever bullshit reason, they'll find some fucking bullshit excuse to justify it or every single thing that's happening in America is bad, and this is why it's bad. And, like, if you view. View it through that lens, there is a massive audience of people that will consume your content on a regular basis because they're like, I already feel this thing and I need somebody to justify it. And that is the Internet and this massive space in the middle, which, like, we assume most people feel. Right? Like, we assume there's a lot of, like, normal, regular folks out there that are looking at the Somali daycare thing. Okay, there's definitely fraud, but, like, there's no way every single one of them are fraudulent. Like, there are children there.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

They need to go to a fucking daycare, right? It's not like there are no kids in these places. Like, they're stuffing them somewhere.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

So. But there's no creator that's going, well, here's the boring, gray middle ground of what's happening.

[Shifty]

There's no clicks in it.

[Mark]

There's no clicks. There's no views in. And if there's no clicks and there's no views in it, there's no money in It. And then they're not talking about it.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

So it's like, it's almost like if you remove the financial reward of the Internet.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

If you completely remove monetization. I wonder if it's softened it.

[Shifty]

Which is funny because that's what we used to say about the news. They're all just paying bills. Right.

[Mark]

Because didn't that happen? Like, that's a perfect example with the news. You go to Fox News or CNN or whatever the hell it is. It's like, okay, you're just gonna feed that narrative, whatever the fuck it is. And that there's a lot of money to make in that narrative. Cause these people already feel that way, like you were saying. And you know, same thing goes to the left and the right. The Internet has done that. And now it's not only five news programs now it's everybody with a phone that wants to talk about something. And those audiences exist and they're super rapid radicalize. And I'd like to assume that the majority of people are here. But now, I don't know. Like, if you go on the Internet, you're like, I don't think there's anybody.

[Shifty]

In the middle competing with a billion other creators as opposed to eight different news networks now. You got to up the morphine.

[Mark]

Oh yeah.

[Shifty]

On what your truth is or what you present. That gets clicks and views. So it's getting crazier than any of the stuff that we said was fake news.

[Akash]

Yeah.

[Shifty]

I remember when Trump appointed RFK and they were making all these promises about getting real sugar out of soda and whatever, making food more natural. Some liberal guy on, on Twitter was like, this isn't actually a fix for anything. The only thing that matters is calories in, calories out. This is. And it's like, yeah, but also, isn't it good to get chemicals out of food? Wouldn't we all disagree baseline on that? And he was like, this does nothing. And then it had so many retweets and I checked the comments just to see and everybody's like, I know it's a false whatever. It's another lie that they're feeding us. And it's like, oh, okay, you guys want to believe that. Can't find a middle ground. And that's just what it is. Yes.

[Akash]

That's oh, so much easier, dude.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Akash]

But realistically, most of the people that you talk to in your day to day life, do you find that they're pretty normal?

[Mark]

The most normal?

[Akash]

Like that's how I feel. I'm like, I just choose not to believe the, like, radical binary because it's like the real people I'm talking to are, like, kind, and they have different opinions, but, like, you know, they're nuanced. And if they don't know, they go, oh, yeah, I don't know. I'm not a.

[Miles]

You know, everybody. Except deflation in group chat.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Flavor. Group chat is a perfect example of the Internet.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

But, yeah, that is how I feel when I talk to regular people. And it's a shame. Yeah, it's a shame that there's not more of a space for that. Right. Like, I almost feel like you'd think the, The, The. The pendulum would swing away from the extremes, but I think the pendulum has swung towards apathy or distraction.

[Akash]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Yeah. So instead of going, I don't want the extremes, I want a nuanced take. I. I think it's. I'm going to watch Landman.

[Akash]

Yeah, right.

[Mark]

It's just like, I'm going to watch tv. I just want to escape from this. Don't give me anything political.

[Akash]

Yeah.

[Mark]

You know, I. I'm going to watch Handsmaids or whatever that movie was that Sydney Sweeney was in.

[Akash]

Yeah.

[Mark]

You know, I'm going to watch Avatar. I just need to escape from whatever the. These conversations are online that are just causing me dread.

[Akash]

Yeah, it does make you feel dread. Like, my phone is just. It's a Viking simulator. Like, it's just. It's. It's only fans, girls, and then just death. Like, it's just like pillaging and sex. It's just like every time I scroll, it's just like the most base human primal instinct of just like carnage. Hot girl. Like, it's just like.

[Mark]

Yeah, yeah.

[Akash]

Literally, it's just like, it's. Yeah, I. I think it's bad for people's brains. And I think detaching and tending to your garden and just actually, like, interfacing with real human beings that you love and care about is probably the most effective one.

[Miles]

This guy got a roof and a garden. Like, God dam.

[Akash]

He'S living.

[Miles]

Yo, Let hold some.

[Shifty]

I know.

[Mark]

His whole I don't shower thing is, so we don't know exactly. He got it. Exactly. Let me hold some. Let me.

[Miles]

Hold on.

[Akash]

If you have enough, you're rich. I'm telling you, dude, you just got to log off.

[Shifty]

Log off.

[Akash]

The Internet. Everyone quit. It doesn't matter. It's over.

[Mark]

It's over. The Internet is a failure right after this episode. Log off.

[Akash]

It doesn't matter, dude.

[Shelty]

No, it's true.

[Mark]

Right?

[Shifty]

Now, after this ad break call, call.

[Akash]

Your hug your children, okay? The words of Mother Teresa, if you want to change the world, love your family, dude. That's the only thing that actually matters.

[Mark]

She have a family?

[Akash]

She was a sister. Had many sisters.

[Mark]

Y.

[Shifty]

That was good. That was good. That was good.

[Mark]

So close. So close. Mama key. So close. All right. What did you say?

[Shelty]

She's half Indian.

[Shifty]

Yeah, that's. Mark asked me if I wasn't she Albanian, too?

[Mark]

Yeah, Albanian.

[Shifty]

Albanian. I think.

[Mark]

Connection, huh?

[Shifty]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mark]

Indian, Albanian.

[Akash]

It's a good mix.

[Mark]

How do you even get that?

[Shifty]

Really? Probably had to get mistreated by a lot of men. Really. You know what I mean? Like, it was rough, dude.

[Mark]

Finding female was the best thing. Either direction she went, it was going to be abuse, insanity, the perfect man.

[Akash]

Turns out she was ethnically Indian, so.

[Mark]

So.

[Akash]

Oh, I had no idea. I thought she was.

[Mark]

That's.

[Shifty]

That's why I thought you asked me if I had, like, ill feelings toward her.

[Miles]

You said that in a way. You were disappointed.

[Mark]

What's wrong with that? Hey, shout out to Albanians, bro. What's wrong?

[Akash]

I thought she was birded up. I thought that. I thought she was full black bird. That's what I thought it was.

[Mark]

All right, that's better. That's better. I thought she was talking. You're not gonna be able to eat in a familiar pizza in New York City again if you keep talking about the Albanians, bro. They run the pizza shops in New York City. Shout out to y'.

[Akash]

All. Wait, what is this? Pro football championship.

[Shifty]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The playoffs have also been off.

[Mark]

Awesome. Yo, right when we needed great distraction.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

This is why you think it might be a simulation. It's just like, right when America's about to tear itself apart, we're invading all these countries with no good reason whatsoever.

[Shifty]

Can you pull up the Caleb play?

[Mark]

Joey football steps in and it's absolutely fantastic.

[Shifty]

Unbelievable. Dude, you. You watched the Bears in the Rams game?

[Akash]

Yeah, I was. I was. I was just fixated.

[Shifty]

It was perfect.

[Akash]

I, I. It's the greatest football game ever.

[Miles]

You went to the game?

[Mark]

No, he just watched it.

[Shifty]

No, he just watched it.

[Akash]

I never watched the football game.

[Shelty]

Really?

[Mark]

Turn the TV on.

[Shifty]

This is.

[Akash]

Someone else had it on.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Akash]

Actually, Zom. You know, Zom. He took me around Salt Lake, and then on the way home.

[Miles]

Good guy.

[Akash]

He messed up his shoulder on the last run. He did so much great stuff for us. And then some kid hit him from behind and broke his shoulder.

[Mark]

Broke his shoulder? Yeah.

[Akash]

And then drove home the whole way, one handed, watching the game. And I was like, you want me to drive?

[Mark]

He's like, no, no, that's fine. And he's, he's a snowboard instructor. Like he has to be out there.

[Akash]

Oh yeah. I don't know the exact diagnosis but.

[Shifty]

I think he's messed up. Let me walk you through this game. Chicago talking about Z shoulder.

[Mark]

I don't know this man.

[Shifty]

I don't know him.

[Miles]

He's a good guy.

[Shifty]

Shout Z. I hope you're okay.

[Mark]

He's Indian by the way.

[Shifty]

Oh, oh, is there go fund me.

[Mark]

I'm sorry, what is Z short for?

[Akash]

Zambinder.

[Shifty]

Zambinder. Sassy G. Are you okay, dude? I'll send you some money, man. Let me know.

[Mark]

It needs bring out the best of Akash. You're a beautiful soul as well. The worst. Caviar.

[Shifty]

Let me know how. Let me let you know how cheap I am.

[Mark]

Tell me.

[Shifty]

I did a very kind thing where like it was cold. You gotta get gas. We got gas in New Jersey and it was freezing. I saw this Indian dude pumping gas, older. So I tipped him and all I had on me was a hundred. So I gave him the hundred. And that shit still hurts my feelings to this day. Like it's still. I'm like, God damn, dude, I didn't have a fucking 20 on me.

[Mark]

Damn.

[Shifty]

Damn.

[Miles]

Both these guys, bro.

[Mark]

You tipping hundreds that got going room. Can we get something? What's up? Can we get something? Yo, we gotta check the books. Damn. We gotta check the books, son.

[Shifty]

If he was any other race, I'd have been like, hey man, sorry, it's cold. Vroom, vroom.

[Akash]

That's come, bro.

[Shifty]

But as an Indian, older Indian, I'm seeing him bundled up. You know how cold it was yesterday? It's almost as cold as it was this morning. And 17 degrees. If those of you who weren't listening and this guy's out there pumping gas. I felt so bad. I gave him whatever I had. And if he was an Indian, I wouldn't have done it. But this is how cheap I am. That shit is eating away at me. I woke up this morning, I was like, God damn it.

[Miles]

So now you gotta go back a few times. Don't tip, bounce it out.

[Shifty]

Decent weather. I'm gonna do that. Yeah, give me a 50 degree day. Probably not gonna happen till May, but I'm gonna go back, I'm gonna look for that same motherfucker.

[Akash]

What kind of Indian do you know?

[Mark]

Catholic Indian who usually owns the gas stations.

[Shifty]

It's Usually Punjabi. Or Gujaratis.

[Mark]

Yeah, or Gujaratis.

[Shifty]

Yeah, usually Punjabi. Second option Gujarati.

[Mark]

Okay, so Punjabis are the gas stations and the hotel hotels, right?

[Shifty]

Gujaratis are hotels.

[Mark]

Oh, I thought the Punjabis.

[Shifty]

Gujaratis are hotels, dude.

[Mark]

But it is one ethnic group of Indians that own like, 80 of motels in America.

[Shifty]

Hotels cartel.

[Mark]

Yeah, they call it the Patel cartel.

[Shifty]

Yeah, yeah. Patel hotel cartel.

[Akash]

Yeah. It's kind of nice.

[Mark]

Can I just tell you something? That's fine. That's fine. They're doing a fantastic job.

[Miles]

I want to get down with that.

[Shifty]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mark]

Because nobody's even brought it up. Oh, that.

[Shifty]

Yeah. Okay.

[Mark]

Like, if we had a problem with it, people would be like, well, why the is 80% of the.

[Akash]

No, there will be a YouTube video soon.

[Shifty]

Yeah, of course.

[Mark]

Until. But, like, what I'm saying is, like.

[Akash]

Nobody'S doing surely investigated the motel addicted Punjabi.

[Mark]

But, like, nobody brings up a single issue about it.

[Akash]

There's no.

[Shifty]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark]

It is something interesting about Indians.

[Shifty]

Well, that one. One.

[Mark]

Nobody's upset at this. The. The Subway sandwiches.

[Shifty]

Yeah. Oh, that's all Indian, son. I went to London and. Or England, and I was. The Subways were owned by Indians. I was like, God damn, dude. This is international.

[Mark]

So what does do we like?

[Shifty]

You shouldn't trust a Subway sub life, dude.

[Mark]

Wait, why? Why?

[Shifty]

Yo, when you think they started putting yoga mats in the food that didn't.

[Mark]

Seem fishy to any of the crossover is too perfect connection there. I knew there was a connection.

[Akash]

You guys love trains, dude. You heard Subway. You're like, yeah, good.

[Mark]

This is good.

[Shifty]

Oh, man. Dead ass. I don't trust the Subway, son. We went to India, got sick. The Subway in India, and we got sick on the way. I don't know why. We ate it twice. We ate Subway in America before we left. Got sick in America, then went ahead in India, got more sick.

[Mark]

I take back what I said about Indians Bring out the best in our. I told you, Cole. I take back all these motherfuckers. I ate there twice.

[Shifty]

I support with my do. I support my dollars. I buy Brown owned. What about y'? All?

[Mark]

We buy Brown Owned, too. We were saying we love the hotel chains that they're doing and we love Subway, but we'd have no criticisms about it. It's only coming from you. Crabs in a barrel.

[Miles]

I like chai from your chai spot. I don't know the name, but I like it.

[Shifty]

Ponti's Fontenas. He's close. Is that right down the block, Fontes? Yeah, it's a 15 minute walk probably west. West Vil Montis of the. The chain went a little viral. Yeah.

[Mark]

Really?

[Shifty]

Yeah, they got sandwiches there that are very good as well. And the chai's.

[Akash]

What kind of sandwiches?

[Shifty]

They have like subs.

[Miles]

Yoga Mat bread.

[Shifty]

No, they're good, dude. They have like a chicken tikka panini. Panini like a butter chicken or nonini it's called. So it's naan as a panini.

[Miles]

Even know yours?

[Shifty]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

Just like Indian culture.

[Mark]

It's true.

[Akash]

The Indian food hybrid is fire. There was a spot in my town that was Indian Mexican food and it was like Indian butter burritos.

[Shifty]

Yuba City. Shout out Fire. Yeah.

[Akash]

And it's so like. Like quesadilla with like biryani. It's unbelievable.

[Shifty]

There's a Taco Mahal also tacos with butter chicken. Great. Crazy.

[Akash]

Yeah. See, this is the beauty of diversity, you know. I mean, DEI bring them together.

[Miles]

Only in New York.

[Shifty]

Oh, you know what that is? Only in New York and Central Florida.

[Mark]

Everybody, yo, shout out. First of all, shout out Mexicans. Cuz it's almost all of the mixed cuisines are just your and Mexican. Right? It's like here's an Asian thing, but Mexican, not Indian.

[Shifty]

Asian is. Is Indochinese is a.

[Mark]

But that's the same thing.

[Miles]

We got that fire Chinese Puerto Rican spot in Les.

[Mark]

That's me. You know what I'm saying is like people love the Latin food so much and then they realize people love it. So what they do is they put. Put their on the Latin food the same way that like white people white up Indian food. Like other cultures have realized like okay, Latin food is fire. So let's just do our shit on top of the Latin and then it's going to work. And it works every single fucking time.

[Akash]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Can I.

[Shelty]

Can I name one I went to recently?

[Mark]

Fire.

[Shelty]

Shalom Japan.

[Miles]

Oh, he's feeling better now.

[Mark]

Jewish, Jewish, Japanese, Japanese.

[Akash]

Double Jap.

[Shelty]

It was fire.

[Mark]

Dude, that is. I think that is fantastic.

[Akash]

Square.

[Shifty]

Dude.

[Mark]

Jeff is incredible. And Miles is so depressed that he didn't even give it a chuckle.

[Akash]

Come on, bro.

[Mark]

No, that's a fun.

[Akash]

Come on, dude.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Shelty]

Place for rules. Check that one out too. That's a great one. It's in Williamsburg.

[Miles]

Miles, what's wrong, man?

[Mark]

Yeah, why are you sad?

[Shelty]

I promise nothing's wrong.

[Miles]

No, we can feel it.

[Mark]

We don't feel the positivity. We don't feel the excitement from you, man.

[Shelty]

Everything's great. I don't know how to. I don't Know how to win here.

[Miles]

You know it's bad. He doesn't want to even know.

[Mark]

It's really bad. Isn't it in it?

[Shelty]

Oh, it's fine.

[Mark]

Yo, Shifty, what's going on with Miles, man?

[Shelty]

Gotta be in the mic.

[Miles]

You got chipped in trouble for snitching last time. So?

[Mark]

So he's not gonna say.

[Shifty]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mark]

All right, fine.

[Shifty]

Yo, can we watch this football play, please? Follow. Oh, brother, half black people are capable of l cuz this could be your kid.

[Mark]

Yo, this thing is crazy.

[Shifty]

Yo, look at this. 4th and 4, 27 seconds. Like, look at this.

[Mark]

Runs from the car.

[Shifty]

Caleb Williams embarrassed.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Shifty]

Is that not the craziest you've ever seen? That's truly the craziest play I've ever seen in my life.

[Miles]

That was impressive.

[Shifty]

Fourth and four. He's at his own or at the Rams 14 yard line. He runs back 27 yards. He goes all the way back to the 40 and then just throws the. Off both feet. No, feet on the ground. Just throws it. Touchdown ties the game. And then he throws a pick and they lose it in overtime. Which is the saddest.

[Akash]

Yeah.

[Shelty]

Which quarterback is that?

[Shifty]

Caleb Williams.

[Mark]

So what are we thinking for the championship games?

[Shifty]

I. I think the Rams, they have a. They're 27% on Kali. I think that's a good bet because Seattle's a. They dominated San Francisco.

[Mark]

Oh my God.

[Shifty]

But people don't necessarily trust their quarterback in big moments. Matthew Stafford is a bad. And for the Rams, dude, he had a game winning drive against the Patriots in the first playoff game. Right before the drive starts, he goes up to Devonte Adams, another receiver, and he goes, hey, let's go snatch their hearts up. And he just does exactly that. Fire shows a phenomenal touchdown.

[Mark]

Cold ass white boy.

[Shifty]

Yeah, dude. I love a cold white boy.

[Mark]

Love a cold ass white boy.

[Shifty]

Let's go snatch their hearts. Boom. Snatch. So I think, I think they, I think they win it. I. They haven't been playing great, but I think they're the team.

[Mark]

But only a 27% chance.

[Shifty]

Yeah, that's why I feel like the odds are kind of the best there. Seahawks got 40. I just don't. Most people don't really trust Sam Darnold in the biggest moments. Who's their quarterback? I. If you want to be great, but I, if I had to put it down, I, I'd say Los Angeles just because they got good odds. Denver's. If they won, I'd be astonished.

[Mark]

They're shame.

[Shifty]

I know dude, their quarterback got injured with three plays left.

[Akash]

Lift.

[Shifty]

In overtime.

[Akash]

Yeah.

[Shifty]

And then on the kneel, when you, like, kneel the ball down, it got worse, it seems like, because he started limping really badly. Broke his ankle out for the rest of the season.

[Akash]

No.

[Mark]

So the Bills aren't in it. Yeah, Josh, the Broncos are just gonna end up losing anyway, and that was a kind of shitty call. I mean, I don't know. What was your take on the.

[Shifty]

So they had one, like, 50, 50 ball that every official seems to say was an interception against the Bills. And, like, the Broncos got the ball.

[Mark]

They said it was. The officials say it was.

[Shifty]

Every official says it was an interception.

[Mark]

And why do they consider interception?

[Shifty]

I don't know. Because to me, you can catch the ball, and then the receiver catches the ball. His knee is down. It's his ball.

[Mark]

So catches it down. And then after he's down. So I guess the argument they're making is that he didn't have clear possession of the ball. It was shared possession, and then it was ripped out. Yeah, they both have possession. I imagine there is that.

[Shifty]

Yeah, I guess they're saying he doesn't have clear possession, so it's incomplete. Well, so it's not in anybody's possession. And then it doesn't touch the ground round. And then this Bronco interception, which could be valid.

[Mark]

Okay, so maybe it wasn't as bad a call as people are making, but.

[Shifty]

Yeah, I think we all just want the Bills to win. Yeah, the Bills. The big Live for Buffalo. Josh Allen seems awesome.

[Mark]

So this is another one, right?

[Shifty]

Because last year, dude, he's five, six years in a row, just heartbreaking loss after heartbreaking loss.

[Mark]

And if you grew up in the time that we grew up, you saw the Bills go through this. I mean, four years in a row.

[Shifty]

Four years in a row they lost. And it's like, they live for that team, dude.

[Akash]

And seeing how emotional he was afterwards.

[Shifty]

Oh, he's tearing up my heart. My teammates down.

[Mark]

Did you see what his offensive linemen? Did you see that? Like, so they're interviewing, I think is one of his old linemen. And they're like, Josh said that he feels like he let his teammates down. And this is a big O lineman.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

And he just starts crying. He has, like, turn away from the camera. He goes, he didn't let us out. And, like, has to turn around. It's kind of beautiful.

[Shifty]

Yeah, man, beautiful. It's a great game. And now that I have no team, because I've given up on the Cowboys, I Can just watch and root for a team every game and yeah, we're having fun.

[Akash]

Yeah.

[Shifty]

I was hoping the Bears would be the Rams. The Rams one. I'm rooting for them. It's just fine. I have no loyalty. I'm just watching a game. I have a team I kind of like better, and then I enjoy it.

[Mark]

This is it right here.

[Miles]

Yo, how come no one's like the.

[Mark]

Whole CTE thing that just n We over that, bro.

[Akash]

Yeah.

[Shifty]

Why didn't Michael Jordan molest kids?

[Akash]

Hold on a second.

[Shifty]

Michael Jackson? Why am I Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. BLEEP that. Bleep that, BLEEP that.

[Mark]

You got to do, like a lap or something. That was religion, you know? How many sneakers we got to sell?

[Shifty]

I'm sit this way for a bit. You're right. I'm in. Timeout. Y' all go ahead, finish that discussion, bro. Crazy.

[Mark]

So confident.

[Shifty]

Yeah. I really thought I had you, dude. Unbelievable.

[Akash]

Oh, man.

[Mark]

Why'd you even bring that up? Yeah, what. What did Michael Jackson molest kids got.

[Shifty]

To do with anything? It's too fun to just listen to the music and dance and have a good time. That's why we're turn a blind eye. It would have been a good point if I got it. Been a great point.

[Mark]

Really.

[Shifty]

Shut. Shut down.

[Mark]

What's history saying about that now that Mike is dead? Like, is it he did it or.

[Shifty]

There'S a black history and a white history? It's very similar to O.J.

[Akash]

Truth is unknowable.

[Mark]

Oh, really?

[Miles]

So white think he did choose your truth?

[Akash]

Yes.

[Miles]

Dude, I don't think he did it.

[Shifty]

Well, what a surprise. I think he just proved my point.

[Mark]

Mark, what do you think?

[Akash]

I. To be honest, I have not looked into it.

[Shifty]

But has he done knows he would think he did it? Yeah, because I want to know, Mark not researching something. You know how crazy that is?

[Miles]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

That's interesting.

[Miles]

What do you bet you?

[Mark]

I don't think he did it.

[Miles]

I don't.

[Shifty]

I thought he was just a podcast.

[Mark]

With Charlemagne stunted in the head.

[Miles]

I think he's stunted, like, growth.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And he was just sharing a bed with kids, which is weird. Very weird. But I don't think he was, like, thinking sexually.

[Mark]

I think there was inappropriate things there. Like, you shouldn't share a bed with kids.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Yeah. But I don't think that he was like them or anything like that. Yeah, I don't.

[Miles]

I don't think so.

[Shifty]

I have no opinion on it. I'm not white or black.

[Mark]

This is Based on not reading any of the evidence. This is based purely on my perception of Michael Jackson.

[Shelty]

Yes.

[Akash]

This is the way you should go about information. This is how I feel. And I'm gonna just feel what I feel and that's fine.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

But my feelings don't align with one side every single time. That's the problem. Like, there are some people who elite or they like force their feelings maybe.

[Shifty]

Before anything comes in.

[Mark]

Exactly. Right. That's what you were saying about the Minneapolis thing. It's just a Rorschach test. It's like whatever you already felt you're gonna see in every single video. Right. But my feelings don't align. So now you're thrust into this situation where you're like, okay, well, I feel this way about this thing and this thing about this thing. And then there's really. I think most normal people would be like, yeah, I have differing opinions on different things, but the groupthink is completely siloed. And it's a much easier way to go through life, I imagine, online. But regular life probably makes it horrible because every person you meet that is a normal human being that has like varied opinions on the world, you're either judging them or feel judged by them. Yeah, so what? So their experience online is probably much more pleasant because just reinforcing what they already feel. And their experience in life is probably miserable.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I don't think they talk about their.

[Mark]

Opinion or they create those silos in life too.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

And then it's just reinforced.

[Shifty]

And they probably live online a lot.

[Miles]

Yeah, I feel they live online.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Akash]

Yeah. We talk about kids with screens, dude. Old people with screens.

[Mark]

That's even more terrifying.

[Akash]

Terrifying.

[Mark]

Good point.

[Akash]

We talk about screen time for like little kids, like, oh, they're getting radicalized, dude. It's like the 75 year old dude that's at home that doesn't talk to his kids, that doesn't have any friends, that is just getting inundated with like Twitter and like.

[Mark]

And we used to complain about Fox News. We're like, oh, they're just watching Fox News. That's bad. Nah, get if they're on YouTube.

[Miles]

Yeah, they know YouTube.

[Mark]

That's too funny. Yeah, it's over.

[Akash]

Yeah, yeah, we got to get screen time limits for the, for the elderly.

[Shelty]

I need, I need screen time limits. I'm watching too much body cam footage.

[Shifty]

Oh, yes.

[Akash]

I love the body cam footage.

[Shifty]

I thought you were going to say. I thought you were going to say porn. And then you said the same thing.

[Mark]

Yeah, I know. What do you Mean, you're watching too much body cam footage. You're saying, like, of what happened in Minneapolis?

[Shelty]

No, like, I avoided that one. There's these channels, Shout Out, EWU and Midwest Safety that just have the most insane thumbnails and titles and I'll just put one on and do the dishes and follow through with the whole thing, so.

[Mark]

So to relax, you watched black people get chased by the cops?

[Shelty]

No, it's not black people that's the best part. Generally, it's not black people. It's usually like a white trash family. And like the one I watched last night, a white kid killed his mom. And then they're like, what happened? What happened? He's like, some guy came and killed my mom. And I don't know. And I just watch it. And then he goes in the interrogation room and I just watch the whole thing top to bottom. And then another one.

[Mark]

Shifty. Shifty. Internet is cooked, bro. Shifty and I were talking about this yesterday. Shifty had a great take. Shifty, are you willing to respond with words and not memes?

[Shifty]

Shifty.

[Mark]

He has a Rolodex of memes that he can respond to in any way, shape or form. But what was your take about how legacy media is now punk rock or something? What was the take?

[Akash]

It's like anyone can post on the Internet now. So, like, anything you consume on the.

[Mark]

Internet usually is going to be more.

[Akash]

Slop and you have a little bit more trust in something that's on, like.

[Shelty]

Legacy media because it's more money went into it.

[Akash]

The most talented people usually worked on it.

[Mark]

And you're not speaking about news, per se. You're speaking about, like, hbo, Netflix, Netflix, Hulu, Paramount plus, whatever. Yeah.

[Akash]

And then legacy's caught up to where they'll just like, SNL just takes the, like, talented people off social and it.

[Shifty]

Puts them on tv.

[Mark]

So it's an interesting thing that's happened. Like the shift, which is legacy media was locked into those, like, cable contracts, you know, for a while. So they were kind of like, had their, like, hands tied behind their back in their ability to put stuff online. And also there were all these new streaming networks that were coming out like a Paramount plus. And. And like, people are like, what the. Is a Paramount? Another thing I got to sign up for, like, what the. What is all this? Now? If a show is good, regardless of what streaming network it's on, people will find it. Like, you're watching Pluribus on Apple, right? With severance, I think was on Apple too. Taylor Sheridan Universe is on Paramount plus and I think other channels as well. Like you can kind of get to every show. It doesn't feel like there's that barrier of entry that like maybe four years ago, if you had an HBO show, not an HBO show, if you had like a show on an obscure streamer, it might just die.

[Shifty]

Yeah. You know, so Cobra kai was on YouTube Red at first and then it died. Then Netflix picked it up and then it was huge.

[Mark]

And. But I think part of that was the fact that like everybody had Netflix.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

And, and, but to your point, it's like YouTube Red. Who has it? I can't find it, even though the show is good. And. Yeah. It's just interesting that like all these networks now that they're not shackled to cable where nobody was watching tv, are now putting a new crop of young talent on their shows. Whereas before when they couldn't really take risks, you had to just put the legacy they brought back, Roseanne. Because it's like this is the only way we can get people to watch cable on abc. So now you're having young people who would probably be influencers or social media stars now being snatched up. And some of them were influencers of social media stars are in that like show in la, I love la or something like that. So it's like, so it's like you have basically Hollywood is doing what it had always done, but there was like a five year wait. But now they are consuming all the talented people online. And I think what you'll see is the Stranger Things cast will be like the next crop of movie stars. Who knows if it works? But I think like the guy who played Steve Harrington, like Joe Keeling, they're gonna give him movies, he's gonna get a few shots to, to blow. Like, I wouldn't be surprised if he get was in some Marvel. Right. Like, and I think that if you see young people that you're familiar with and you've built like these parasocial relationships with, maybe that is the impetus to go watch their shows or even maybe go to the movies. Movies before, when it's a young kid going to watch another Tom Cruise movie and that young kid's like, I never grew up watching Tom Cruise. I don't really have a connection to who he is. I don't need to leave the house to watch Mission Impossible. And it was basically all on us. Yeah. So basically everything I said about movies a few weeks ago, I go against it. Yeah. Classic, classic flip flops. I don't know. I don't know. Movies back. But like to Shifty's point, which I thought was really interesting, is that people might want to escape. And now networks are creating a lot of shows. They're like unshackled by any kind of like woke stuff that they're a little worried about. Like there's just like heartland shows.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Mark]

You know, that don't feel like they have to meet any like diversity requirement or they don't have to like police language. They'll just tell whatever fucking hillbilly story they want. People are finding it. They're flourishing. And then they've got like the coastal elite shows like I love LA and I'm sure there's some shit in New York for HBO and people are finding it. I don't know. I don't know if you guys are feeling this, but it does feel like the consumption patterns are gravitating back. Back towards network television a bit. By network, I mean like streaming, you think?

[Shifty]

Also maybe some of the writers block. Remember the writer strike where there was like this big lagging.

[Mark]

That's a good.

[Shifty]

Yeah. And it's like, it's like they're catching up.

[Akash]

Plus Covid.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Akash]

Like both those things happening back to back. I think there was just a dearth of good streaming content and the explosion of like sort of non centralized creator content that kind of shook up the industry. And then now we're kind of like regressing back to what that normal average is. So I don't know if people ever like stop, stop watching tv. I think like it just took streamers time to kind of catch up with what the new paradigm is.

[Mark]

Yeah. 100%.

[Miles]

Or it could also be they're making TV dumber. And what was that?

[Akash]

That second watch. Yeah.

[Mark]

Get that clip up from like a lot of. It's that Ben and Matt on. You know what was really great about seeing Ben on. On. On Rogan and like seeing Ben and Matt, it was like Ben played the dumb guy in Good Will Hunting.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

And I think we assumed he was dumb.

[Shifty]

Yes.

[Mark]

And it wasn't until 30 years later we watching him in a long length podcast and we're like, oh, this guy's fucking brilliant.

[Akash]

Oh, they both went to harmony.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

They're both geniuses. What the fuck is going on? Because yeah, Ben is speaking with like profound confidence about an industry that he knows incredibly well. Obviously. But just like really great observations.

[Miles]

You. How did that Marty supreme movie do?

[Akash]

Did it like without knowing anything? I would guess it did extremely well. That's my feeling.

[Miles]

So that means it's Right, exactly.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Akash]

That's my reality.

[Mark]

It made a lot of money, which is really good for the film industry and it showed that people go out to movies. I don't know if it made.

[Miles]

If it.

[Mark]

If it was profitable per se.

[Shifty]

Oh, okay. I was thinking maybe it was the opposite. Maybe it made money because it was low budget and then it grows. It didn't gross a ton.

[Mark]

No, no. I think it. They were really excited about what it. What it gross. But again, it was an expensive movie to make. It's like it was like that Leonardo Capri movie, the. What is it called? One Problem after Another. It's like that movie made a lot of money. It was just really expensive to make it. Yeah.

[Akash]

To market it.

[Miles]

So ping pong movie was expensive to make?

[Mark]

Yeah. I mean, huge. Yeah.

[Miles]

Why?

[Mark]

It's a.

[Miles]

No cgi.

[Akash]

No.

[Miles]

Like what. What was expensive about.

[Shelty]

I mean cast and locations and like.

[Mark]

Shooting New York is probably expensive. Like making everything reflect the time is probably expensive.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Shelty]

Costuming, like.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Shelty]

It also just. This Variety article says from yesterday it's a 24's highest grossing film at domestic box office with 80 million beating out everywhere. Everything everywhere all at once.

[Mark]

Oh wow.

[Miles]

Dude.

[Mark]

Also still didn't break even.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

That's the thing. Is it like, like. But again the fact that it's generating I think is a better indicator because you can always make films for less money. You can get actors to say, okay, instead of doing for 20 million, I'll do it for 10. Like you can tell Leonardo Capri nowadays you can be, listen, movies don't make what they did 10 years ago. When we can give you $25 million and a piece at a box office. But if you're willing to do it for 10, I think that we can make a profitable movie.

[Miles]

I'm just really surprised because the amount of marketing and like you was seeing the lead everywhere. The promotion that they did, I thought that was going to. I thought that movie was gonna go.

[Mark]

For this type of movie. I think that's exceptional. Yeah. Like it's a movie based on a story that nobody really knows or cares about.

[Akash]

Brand New ip, which is awesome that they're pushing for something.

[Miles]

I mean back in the day our stars did that with Brand New IP and there was.

[Mark]

I think it was a different consumption patterns. Like I think we were willing to take chances on an obscure movie of about poker. You know, I mean we watched. What was that?

[Shifty]

Rounders watch it in theaters. But yeah, it became this cult thing.

[Mark]

Oh, it was awesome.

[Shifty]

I caught it on Stars. Cuz there was no phone. There was. I had cable. I was so happy. I see this movie. I watch that. Oh, this is amazing.

[Mark]

So like this is. I think we were willing to take some chances because it was just part of what we did as kids. Like I remember literally on Friday after school, like is there a movie coming out? Let's go sneak and four four film. What was that?

[Shifty]

You would call the phone number and it would give you all the show times for the movie.

[Mark]

Movie phone.

[Miles]

Movie phone.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Movie phone. Yeah.

[Shifty]

There was a Seinfeld episode that's funny where Chandler or Kramer's phone number is 444philk. So he just pretends to be movie phone. It was really funny. It's great. But Matt Damon also had the point in another clip where he said like also because people aren't buying home movies anymore. The they just can't make as much because you would make X amount in theaters if the budget was this. And then it would get released to the on VHS or DVD or whatever. And then all these people would buy it and then you'd make more money.

[Miles]

Ah, but I thought you can purchase.

[Shifty]

To stream it, but you're purchasing it instead of going to the theaters. You can rent it for 299but you're not. Most people don't buy it.

[Mark]

I remember people had DVD collections.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Do you remember that?

[Akash]

Like remember Blu Ray? People be like yo, I'm gonna get every Blu Ray.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Crazy.

[Shifty]

There was a war.

[Miles]

Always thought it was so stuff.

[Mark]

I was like, I can't.

[Miles]

How many times are you gonna like want to watch the same movie?

[Mark]

All right, here, play this is interesting. Play this clip about the reiterating plot three or four times.

[Miles]

The standard way to make an action movie that we learned was usually have like three set pieces. They kind of ramp up. And the big one with all the explosions and you spend most of your money on that one in the third act. That's your kind of finale. And now they're like can we get a big one in the first five minutes? We want people to stay tuned in. And wouldn't be terrible if you reiterated the plot three or four times in the dialogue because people are on their phones while they're watching. You know what I mean?

[Mark]

So here's the thing. And then there was another conversation about when people are watching it on. On your. Your phone or you're watching it on an iPad, it doesn't lend itself to the cinematography that. What was that movie Leo did in like Narwhal Land? Oh, Inception, Revenant, you know, like these beautiful landscapes. And you're taking all this time, you're shooting a magic hour, like. And I think it was mad making a point where it's like, if people aren't consuming them on devices where you can appreciate that type of cinematography, it becomes less valuable. So then maybe they're shooting things a little bit more flat or something, I don't know. But. But this is interesting. It's like, what are you supposed to do if, you know, people are looking at their phones while you're watching the movie at home?

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Are you supposed to be like, well, fuck them if they don't watch it, they don't watch it. Or do you do things that accommodate this new form of viewing vertical.

[Miles]

Vertical drama?

[Mark]

No, I mean, I've seen that. But, like, I guess the artist in you goes, I'm gonna make it no matter what. I'm gonna make it how I want to make it, no matter what, 100%. And then there's also a part of you, the artist part, that goes, I want people to see my art not in terms of, like, for making money off it, but because, like, I poured my heart into something and I want them to watch it. If they hate it, they hate it. They love it.

[Shifty]

It.

[Mark]

They love it. But, like, you know, you don't have to share your art if you choose to share it, you know, you want people to be able to consume it.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Akash]

I wonder if it's different types of audiences you're trying to hit. I guess, you know, like, maybe there's certain projects you're like, okay, this is going to be for mass consumption. I'm going to hit as many people. It's going to be two screen viewing. I'm going to have an explosion, the first five. And then you can pick projects where you're like, this is going to be a pure piece of art that ultimately, like, pulls up the artistic, you know, core of the audience. Audience. Like, I'm not going to capitulate to the algorithmic overlords that force me to go to humanity's base instinct, which is like, you know, constant dopamine. I need to just, like, feel something at all times.

[Mark]

Beautifully said.

[Akash]

You go, like, I'm going to pull up the, the, I don't know, the human, like, artistic, you know, I'm going.

[Mark]

To drag you into. I'm gonna, I'm gonna appeal to your highest level of artistic integrity and intellect. Yeah, I'm not going to drop to the lowest level of it. Yeah, I think that you can do that. And then all of a sudden, you got to be like, but we're making this move for $20 million.

[Akash]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I think that you got to be okay kind of losing money on stuff like. Yeah, like, I don't know. I was listening to a podcast with. I forgot this guy's name. It was Alex o'. Connor. And another dude who's, like, an art historian that talks about Nick Fuentes.

[Mark]

I think he really loves one ancient.

[Akash]

Artist, one specific painter. It was just about, like, art, architecture. Like, what is architecture supposed to do? You walk around a city and, like, you see a beautiful building. Like, it inspires you to, like, think about the divine or think about, like, literature. Like, whatever. Like, back in the day, like, they would lose money on these public works projects to make something beautiful. Exactly, yeah. This guy, the cultural tutor. Whereas now it's like, all things kind of exist for, you know, like, the new God is capitalism, and capitalism requires cheap materials and simple building design and, like, sort of ugly, kind of amorphous boxes.

[Mark]

Tucker was making this point, too. I heard him.

[Akash]

Thank goodness.

[Mark]

Yeah. Good company.

[Shelty]

But no.

[Mark]

Something about, like, putting time and effort into these government buildings created a relationship between the government and. I don't know if you. I could be butchering this, but, like, there was a relationship between the people and the government. That these places were not there to oppress them. Right. That these were, like, beautiful things, beautiful institutions that they could be proud of. I don't know if that's how you get the greatest relationship between government and people, but when you do look at the old buildings in New York City, you know, like, even in this neighborhood, there's a couple. I don't want to expose where we are, but there's that, like, beautiful old. I don't know if it's a government building or, like, an old bank or something like that.

[Shelty]

And it's like, one up the street here.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

And it's like, they ain't making those anymore. They're not putting the time in to have this perfect dome, archways and all this other shit. Like, no developer in New York is going to get a permit, one, to do that and to take the time and lose the money to do it.

[Miles]

You just build a studio.

[Akash]

But, yeah, you need some type of, like, higher calling that's philosophical, whether it's like, God or nationalism or something to make you be like, I'm down to lose money. And ultimately, like, you hope that art pulls people up to, like, their higher self where, like, they can appreciate something beautiful.

[Mark]

That's probably the idea with like the public park, right?

[Akash]

Yeah.

[Mark]

It's like Central park is probably the most valuable real estate on the planet.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Like the park itself.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Mark]

And they could easily siphon little bits off and sell them to developers and make high rises and all stuff, but they made a commitment for whatever reason that we're not going to do that. And it's important to have this space and they meticulously designed it. Like it's beautiful. You can walk a Central park and it's beautiful. And I think it's a cool thing. I think it's a cool thing to go, hey, we are going to. In the capital of capitalism, we are not going to extract wealth from this thing. We're going to lose money on this thing right here. Because it's important that people have a place.

[Shifty]

I do wish they could get the horseshit out, but other than that, it's phenomenal.

[Akash]

I'm good with the horses, you know.

[Mark]

You know, the likable way of saying that would be like, we got to stop these horse carriages because it's brutalizing the horses. Aach is like, if we could just make them not. I'd be totally proud.

[Akash]

Both end, you know.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Miles]

But yeah, like an Akash prediction then, which is like something that he's probably wrong, but on a technicality. You'll get it right every once in a while. I think that all the vertical viewing, like vertical dramas and like that, that's going to be bigger than movies and tv.

[Mark]

Explain these vertical dramas. Everybody keeps talking about these things.

[Miles]

It's big in China, it's big in Asia already. It's getting bigger here. And they're just shooting everything for vertical so that it's a TV short drama. Probably maybe between five to 20 minutes. Something between there and then. Yeah, they're doing all the same production value, lighting and everything, but they just. Cameras just this way. And the whole thing is moving so.

[Mark]

It'S quibby, but it's available on TikTok or available on YouTube shorts or these other platforms and.

[Miles]

But it's like the production value, like what's. What they're putting out is amazing.

[Mark]

Are they the same characters and the storylines and the characters carrying through, or is it. Each one is its own little soap opera and then when that's done.

[Miles]

No, there's some shows that are continuous.

[Shifty]

Like they're like 30 minute shows.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Miles]

No, some are like five minute shows.

[Shelty]

Yeah.

[Shifty]

Okay.

[Miles]

And it's just enough where it's like, oh, okay, I can invest five minutes.

[Shifty]

I'll jump into that.

[Miles]

And then you just pay, like, oh, $1 an episode. And they are just printing.

[Mark]

Oh, you're paying directly to watch, like, on Tik Tok Shop or something like that.

[Akash]

And you're saying that this will be bigger than the film industry?

[Miles]

Yes. Yep.

[Mark]

Hot take.

[Akash]

It's a tough. It's a tough one.

[Mark]

But maybe.

[Akash]

But maybe.

[Miles]

Film industry constantly. Every year, it's getting smaller and smaller.

[Mark]

Well, this is the first film industry, but they just found a different way to. This is an example of one right here.

[Shifty]

Yeah, it's 41 minutes.

[Akash]

It's 41 minutes.

[Shifty]

This doesn't look.

[Shelty]

Some are really bad.

[Mark]

Yeah, yeah. Some are bad, like, whatever.

[Shifty]

But this does look.

[Miles]

It's a new industry.

[Mark]

It's like white people's tubey. Yeah, yeah, I guess.

[Shelty]

But it's like, no, Schultz, you're so right with that. There's some on Tik Tok where, like, you can tell they're trying. And they're filming some in. In the Asian markets with, like, the subtitles look unbelievable. Like, good. Some in the American market that are coming out. It'll be like an Italian guy walks in the room, he's like, how you doing? Like, it's overacted. It's bad lighting. Like, they're getting there. But some are quite bad.

[Mark]

But. But people are watching them. Like, the views are insane.

[Shelty]

Yeah. And the drama is immediate. It'll be like, you shot my wife.

[Mark]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the wife. Yeah.

[Shelty]

It's very funny.

[Miles]

It's going to.

[Shifty]

To be huge.

[Shelty]

H. It very much feels like soap operas.

[Shifty]

This looks like an Indian soap opera.

[Mark]

Let this be a lesson to you.

[Miles]

Nobody touches ar. It's actually a lot like Bollywood.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Akash]

That's.

[Mark]

It's like.

[Miles]

It's, like, over.

[Mark]

Like, it's. Everything is, like, extra.

[Shifty]

That. Like a Bollywood soap opera. A lot of, like, whatever. The cuts.

[Akash]

Yeah. We're biting your. It's come full circle. Isn't that wild?

[Mark]

Yes. Hollywood is ripping off Batman, man. Yeah. And now we're ripping off Bollywood. Ripping off that way.

[Shifty]

Yeah.

[Akash]

Damn.

[Shifty]

You're welcome.

[Akash]

Where we at? On time?

[Shifty]

Miles?

[Shelty]

Just over an hour and 40.

[Shifty]

Oh, wow.

[Mark]

You want to Patreon? Yeah, we got to go hit Patreon, boys. We're going over to patreon right now. Patreon.com flagrant. We will see you guys there. Love y'.

[Shifty]

All.

[Mark]

Appreciate y'. All. Peace.

[Shifty]

God bless.