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Andrew Schulz
And we're back.
Akash Singh
Listen. We go away for one week, and New York City turns into a Muslim, communist, utopian. What the. What the happened when we went away, right? We had the guy that killed all the old people and was hearing his employees.
Mark Gagnon
He was an upstanding guy.
Akash Singh
No one's gonna be mayor. He should have been. That's a good. That's a good guy. I thought, no matter what, we're still getting 11, right? If Cuomo or Mayor Adams wins, we get 11, all right? I don't even want to know what 11 looks like. If Mom Donnie's gonna be mayor, put.
Andrew Schulz
A nine in front of it. All right?
Akash Singh
Don't do.
Dane Cook
Tell you that, guys.
Akash Singh
That's racist.
Dane Cook
That's racist. I stand with Zolon.
Akash Singh
I'm sorry, dude.
Andrew Schulz
That was really.
Akash Singh
Do it a second time. No sound tower.
Andrew Schulz
Go on, dude. That's great.
Akash Singh
I don't know.
Mark Gagnon
I kind of thought it bombed.
Akash Singh
Yo, what happened, man?
Mark Gagnon
This guy had it, dude. Crazy momentum. People loved him.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
You saw the thing happening then, the last, like, week or two before the election, I was like, oh, he got this.
Eddie
I've been trying to tell y' all, man, like, he's out. He has people, like, they came to my door three times in the past two months.
Akash Singh
Damn.
Mark Gagnon
So they know who that was later?
Akash Singh
No, but for real. So how did they know to target you?
Eddie
I mean, I live in Queens.
Akash Singh
So what?
Eddie
I live in Queens. They want to come.
Akash Singh
Yeah, but you're black. Like, it's, like, just, like white kids that vote for him, right? Isn't that.
Eddie
No, I think it was. I think it was white people, and people also make over 100,000, so.
Akash Singh
Okay.
Eddie
That's what they said, though. That's what they said.
Akash Singh
Yeah, I know. That's what they said.
Eddie
That's what they said.
Mark Gagnon
I didn't know I made that much.
Eddie
Yeah. According to irs. I do not.
Akash Singh
It's just.
Andrew Schulz
Can't help it, right?
Akash Singh
Like, isn't it just Everybody with, like, $200,000 of student loans? Like, isn't that. Yeah, exactly. Right? That's really what this comes out. I imagine this, and there's a guy named David Freeberg, and on the all in, he did, like, a cool breakdown of it. Maybe we end up watching it, but, like. But this is kind of what I was feeling. I didn't tie it to student loans, but, like, when the socialist populism starts to happen.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Akash Singh
Usually it's when you just feel like there's no opportunity. Yeah, right. That's usually what happens. Like, when you move to New York, right. You're coming here because you got some crazy dream and you're going to make it happen.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Akash Singh
And when you come with, like 2, $300,000 worth of debt, you realize you have negative money and there's really no way that you're going to be able to escape that. So now you can't pursue this, like, crazy dream of yours because you got this crippling debt and then you got to go, okay, well, how can my life be kind of good as it is?
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Akash Singh
And well, now we need the government to tap in.
Mark Gagnon
And that's a very valid feeling, though.
Akash Singh
Like, that's what I'm saying. Like, I completely understand Everybody that has 200, $300,000 worth of student loan debt. You know, not everyone. Like, if you decided to, like, major in, like, something crazy, like women.
Andrew Schulz
Women.
Akash Singh
Yeah. No, like, if you just had some crazy major that there's no job you could ever get and you had $200,000 worth of student loans, like, you're obviously being stupid. But, like, I do think there are a lot of, you know, maybe sold a dream with college, and it just doesn't exactly work that way anymore. And now they're in the situation where they're like, getting crushed by rent, they're getting crushed by the cost of living, and they really see no upward mobility. So they're like, hey, I gotta breathe here. And this guy looks like he's gonna give me a little wiggle room. I completely understand why they're going for it. It's gonna destroy the city and we're not gonna get. And it will happen, but that is okay. It will happen.
Eddie
Why do you feel it's gonna destroy the city?
Akash Singh
Because Venezuela or something, the right wing guys told me. Right. Because it's gonna be venezue. All the right wing guys told me.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah.
Akash Singh
Inflation. Inflation, yeah, that's what they said.
Mark Gagnon
That's a real problem.
Akash Singh
They didn't talk about the 50s when there was like a 90% marginal tax rate. And that's where the American dream started. But. But Venezuela, guys, it's. Venezuela is the issue. We're going to be eating the zoo animals. We're going to be eating the zoo animals, guys. We're not going to get a 911. Yeah, dude, if they called New York's 11 911, that would be insane. Mark, you're so racist. Two polls in the middle, everybody dud. Two poles in the middle and 920, it just starts to combust. This is not good to joke Around. This is extremely rare.
Mark Gagnon
No, it's okay. In Mamdani's New York.
Akash Singh
Exactly. Mumdani's joke. We can't joke about this. Dude, listen. We're globalizing the Intifada. I don't even know what the fuck that shit is. I thought it was a new Gru movie. I ain't know it either.
Mark Gagnon
That shit sounds hard, though. I don't know what it means, but it sounds far.
Akash Singh
It sounds terrifying. I'm not gonna lie. Globalize. That Some shit. Fada group chat.
Eddie
And. Oh, Tanya K came after my.
Akash Singh
What did she say?
Eddie
She just chewed me into one. And then I did some research of like.
Akash Singh
Oh, I'm talking about it, too.
Eddie
A different situation.
Mark Gagnon
My bad.
Akash Singh
So what is globalized Intifada? And why was our soon to be mayor saying that shit?
Mark Gagnon
No, I don't know what his actual. Did he say globalized Intifada? I think he just refused to denounce a movement or whatever. It's one of those.
Akash Singh
No, I think he said it. So he's stuck between, like, a rock and a hard place. Like a lot of these.
Andrew Schulz
You're rocking a hard place.
Mark Gagnon
You know you can do this. Just pick it up, throw it in a tank.
Andrew Schulz
Dude. Iraq and a hard place. Just Iran.
Akash Singh
No, because like, a lot of the. You need some crazy ideas to, like, shake shit up and make some noise when you're a candidate that's pulling a zero, Right? So you need to say some wild shit so that you can get the attention of the people who have the wildest beliefs.
Eddie
Took your advice.
Akash Singh
Exactly. But you gotta do it for comedy and post clips, you know? You can't do it for mayor. Okay? We need a mayor who fingers his employees.
Andrew Schulz
Yes. Or has swag.
Akash Singh
Or has swag. Listen, Mayor Adams sat on that seat, man, and there's nothing more I gotta say about it. Like, you felt the energy, didn't you? You feel the energy.
Mark Gagnon
He did.
Akash Singh
That was crazy.
Eddie
I dress nice now.
Akash Singh
No, he did change the way you dress. He. You. That was crazy.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Akash Singh
Remember when he called you a flamingo for your nails? No, he did. What the is this? There was another word that started with that.
Mark Gagnon
No. He did lie right to Al's face, though. And he said. He what? Al, what he said to you?
Eddie
I asked, are you running as a Democrat? He told me, yes, absolutely. And then the next day he came.
Mark Gagnon
Buddy, not even the next day. As soon as we walk out of the interview, we go home. He's announced he's running as an independent.
Akash Singh
He saw Alex's Nails. He's like, I'm done with these Democrats. I can't be taking these ferries to the promised land. The fuck is going on over here? Let Mom. Donnie handle that. No, but, yeah, like, you got to say some wild shit. And also, it's probably like, I don't know, you know, you got to have some pretty. You have to have a little bit more extreme ideas, and then you galvanize those people on the extremes. But now, when you have an actual shot to be mayor, you don't want to lose them, right? Because if you go, you know, I was just kind of being hyperbolic, and I was being a little bit crazy. They all go, what the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah, so, like, I saw a video recently of him, you know, at some event, and there was, like, some dude who's, like, Palestinian came back. He goes, what do you mean, you recognize Israel? I supported you, because. Blah, blah, blah.
Mark Gagnon
This is before the primary, to be fair. This video. That video, I'm fairly certain before the.
Andrew Schulz
Primary, it was right after the debate.
Akash Singh
Oh, okay. Got it.
Dane Cook
Got it.
Akash Singh
So it was like, here's this. Here's this thing where it's like you're trying to land the plane. And, guys, I don't want to do any more 911 jokes. Yeah.
Andrew Schulz
This is extremely.
Akash Singh
Can we fucking.
Mark Gagnon
And you better vote for Eric Adams.
Andrew Schulz
Because it's fucked up, dude.
Akash Singh
There's no 911s during Eric Adams. Can you least get credit for that? That's true.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah.
Akash Singh
Not one kept the city safe. Okay, Canal street looks like Sudan. Okay, how did Sudanese take over the Chinese main export in America, which is fake. When did this happen?
Andrew Schulz
Build Road initiative. They took.
Mark Gagnon
I've only known Africans to be selling the fake. I assume that was how it was.
Akash Singh
Always when we were growing up, it was Chinese ladies.
Eddie
China bought Africa, and now the Africans.
Akash Singh
Are working for the un. They outsourced their Chinese.
Mark Gagnon
They put them on the corners.
Akash Singh
Now I'm. Donnie. Got to do something about that.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Akash Singh
You gotta get these Chinese people their jobs back. I'm sick and tired. I'm sick and tired of these Africans stealing these Chinese people's jobs.
Mark Gagnon
Oh, man.
Dane Cook
No, no.
Akash Singh
What was I gonna say? Oh, yeah. So now he's gotta land the plane, and now he's gotta be delicate about this shit. He says, like, when you're the guy who's pulling AT zero, you could say whatever the fuck you want. It's not real.
Mark Gagnon
I don't. Dude. I would see the Israel stuff, and, like, he would say, I believe Israel Has a right to exist as a country. But. And then he would say what they're doing is crazy, which I think how most of us feel. So I think even before on that.
Akash Singh
He said rights exist as long as they respect international law or something like that. Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
Which.
Akash Singh
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, yeah, it's nothing crazy. The rest of them, like, when every one of them were like, tap dancing on that, on that debate.
Mark Gagnon
Oh, that was fucking embarrassing.
Akash Singh
He was the one that didn't do it. That's when I was like, okay, this kid got some ball. He's not bought. This is cool. That's fine.
Mark Gagnon
I think that was massive. There was some really nice. His social media team did a great job. Dude, there's one moment of his mom coming out while he's campaigning, and he, like, gives her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. And she's like, he's eating junk food and she's, like, worried about it. It's like, really sweet and endear. So that was. Made him look nice. And then dunking on Cuomo with that fucking. You're right. I'm not like, that's when I was like, oh, he got it.
Akash Singh
He's gonna ruin his city. But he's ready. He's gonna do it in style, and he's gonna do it in an accent that nobody with immigrant parents from Queens has ever had. I know accents. I have three. None of them. I have three accents. Okay. Most New Yorkers have between two and four accents.
Eddie
So he's a real New Yorker.
Akash Singh
No, but this one we don't have here. There's no politician accent in New York.
Mark Gagnon
When did he move here? Because he went to school in Uganda or whatever. Probably went to school.
Akash Singh
So where's that click, click, shit clicking? That's what.
Mark Gagnon
I probably went to a British school.
Akash Singh
I want him to be frustrated with someone and suck his teeth like I want to. If you do that. If he said that to Cuomo. Al, you're such a fucking cracker, man.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah.
Akash Singh
Can't even make African jokes around you, dude. Yeah. He didn't even know what the fuck we're talking about.
Dane Cook
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
When you seven?
Akash Singh
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
He probably shouldn't have an accent from you.
Akash Singh
I'm pissed off. He doesn't have a bull hanging from his bottom lip. Like, are you from Africa or not? You know what I'm saying? Where's the bull on your bottom lip? Yes, sir.
Andrew Schulz
Yes.
Akash Singh
Look at this guy. Got a regular lip.
Andrew Schulz
He is handsome, though.
Mark Gagnon
I love this guy.
Dane Cook
Dude.
Andrew Schulz
He is handsome.
Akash Singh
Good looking.
Andrew Schulz
Carnation between him and Elon, dude, Africans are taking over American politics, yo.
Akash Singh
Non African. Africans are crushing it.
Mark Gagnon
I mean, they've been ducking us, but I like them.
Akash Singh
Yo, that's the other thing, because. Let's, let's, let's, let's. What is it? What is that?
Mark Gagnon
Cards on the table?
Akash Singh
Yes. No, no, no, no. Put a nail in it or something like that. Clear the sleigh, whatever like that.
Mark Gagnon
Clear the air.
Andrew Schulz
Put a bone in his nose.
Akash Singh
What are you saying?
Dane Cook
What is it?
Andrew Schulz
What are you trying to say?
Akash Singh
Let's put a bowl in the lip right now. Let's put a bowl in the lip right now. Listen. Let's ring up the neck. Let's ring up that. I don't even know if that's in Africa. Things might be like an Asian truck.
Andrew Schulz
It is. Malaysia.
Akash Singh
Malaysia. All right, shout out to. Okay, so listen, I've had a lot of people reach out. Yo, you can have Mamdani on.
Dane Cook
Okay.
Akash Singh
Yeah, we've been trying to have them on. And Mamdani, maybe your comms people aren't getting back to you or whatever it is, but, like, they've been ghosting us initially. I think they were reaching out a lot. You were in touch with them? They were really trying to. Come on.
Eddie
Yes, they were.
Akash Singh
We had to go to Ibiza before. They want to turn this into, you know, the expanding the caliphate to New York City. Also, don't say we. What do you mean we? The royal.
Mark Gagnon
We, Johnny.
Akash Singh
So listen, we all went on vacation, right? And, okay. And then I come back from vacation. I'm trying to email a couple. I'm texting the comms person. I DM them. They gave me a little cold shoulder when I DMed. And then somebody else in the DMs was like, oh, actually, yeah, yeah, we're in touch with some people. Blah, blah, blah.
Mark Gagnon
I tried to get him, like a month and a half ago, brown to Brown, man to man interview. He wouldn't even.
Akash Singh
Nothing. I'm just saying, this is the biggest podcast in New York City by far. You have the ability to touch all these different. You're going to do these little live streams and these other things. Like, it probably could be a good idea to come. So maybe, Zora, maybe your people aren't telling you, or obviously things are kind of busy, but if you want it, you want it. It's simple as that. You know what I mean? If you want to be mayor of the greatest city in the world, you got to get after. You got to touch everybody.
Andrew Schulz
So, yeah, take it from Cuomo. That's how you got to do it. But if you want to win, you got to touch everybody.
Akash Singh
We just want to put it out right now so we don't have any of this election shit. Right. He's been asked. His people are not getting back to us. They were asking to come on a lot after the win. They've kind of gone ghost. Win in the primary, they've gone ghost. So, Zoran, maybe this will reach you. Maybe some. I've also asked other people to go reach out to him. Whatever. I don't want to say they're ducking us, but they're ducking us. Yeah. So listen, we have a seat right here. We'd love to sit down and talk to you about some of your policies and how you've managed to galvanize white losers to support you. Son. There's no minorities that voted for him. I looked at the demographics.
Mark Gagnon
I don't vote, but yeah, I would.
Akash Singh
I'm telling you, they don't.
Mark Gagnon
Black people didn't vote.
Akash Singh
White people. All of Brooklyn. It's all of white Brooklyn voted for him. Yeah. All of Queens.
Eddie
Queens is the most diverse.
Mark Gagnon
I don't think black people really voted for.
Akash Singh
I think all of Queens, it's only white people. He had his little neighborhood, which is the whitest neighborhood in Queens.
Eddie
He lost the Bronx.
Akash Singh
Of course he lost the Bronx because there's no white people there. The only white person in the Bronx home is the Yankees. So. Yeah. So I want to know how he's galvanized. I mean, what I assume it is, it has a lot to do with the college loans thing. So it's just like people who go to college. Obviously. No one in the Bronx has ever done that. But, like, people. People, obviously. Is that what the Bronx is known for? Higher education? I can't talk of that shit. What? There's a college out there that's the.
Mark Gagnon
Four or five train away. They gonna come down and snatch it out of you.
Akash Singh
And they would prove my point. You know, they're up there busy, drill, drilling. Dude, they're drilling. They're drilling. Okay? No one in Bushwick, Fort Greene, or Williamsburg is drilling.
Andrew Schulz
Williamsburg.
Akash Singh
They're drilling.
Andrew Schulz
The Jews, they're getting underground.
Akash Singh
No, that. Madani. Are you going to allow the Jews to build tunnels wherever they want? Do you see what happened in Borough Park? No. 99% voted against Mamdani. It's the highest non Mamdani neighborhood. What is Borough Park? It's all Hasidic. Oh, but I heard there are some Hasidic Communities or there are some Jewish communities actually supported him maybe. But the seeds are like, the most. Like, they just vote all together at once. Yeah. Singular brain. They're like those. What is that? Yeah, he'll say something. I go, yeah, they do have a singular brain. Like, I think that's what makes them so effective as, like, a voting block. It's like, there's the rabbi. The rabbi says, this is what's going down. And then they do it. Look how they dress. There's no, like, individual.
Mark Gagnon
Who's that 1%? Find that guy. Who is that 1% that didn't listen. Yeah, he said 99 in Borough Park.
Andrew Schulz
That's a good point.
Akash Singh
Yeah.
Andrew Schulz
There's one gentrifier dude.
Akash Singh
Yeah, it's modest Yahoo.
Mark Gagnon
Also, guys, we dropped a bunch of new tour dates on the website. Akash Singh.com starting in August. I'm gonna do Kansas City, Missouri. We're going to Perrysburg, Ohio. Liberty Township, Ohio. A lot of Ohio. We're going to Danny Beach, Florida. Cleveland. Back in Ohio, Dubai. Hurry up and buy those tickets because they're almost gone. October 5th, October 23rd and 24th, San Jose. I'm gonna be coming to San Fran. Orlando. Guys, go to akashing.com. hurry up, buy the tickets. Your boy's selling out, so buy the tickets. I'll see y' all later.
Andrew Schulz
What's up, people? New York City. I'm gonna be doing my monthly show that I do with my friend Joey Avery and unfortunately, my friend David Sanchez. It's awesome. I can't wait to see you guys there at Mary Lou tickets in my bio and in the description of this video. Also, I'm going to Fort Worth, Texas, Austin, Stanford, Connecticut, Levittown, Washington, D.C. chandler, Arizona, San Diego, Burlington, Montreal, Toronto, Berkeley.
Mark Gagnon
Detroit, and many other places bigger than the Pentagon.
Andrew Schulz
I'm going to be honest.
Mark Gagnon
Wait, what is it? The Lincoln Memorial.
Andrew Schulz
We're gonna have to bleep some of this. Okay. No one knows what got bleeped. You guys had left the shows.
Eddie
And also, if you want to see Mark in New York on July 19, you could see him at the Hard Rock Hotel. Cancel comedy. Mark will be there. A lot of people will be there. If you don't want to suck his dick, you could suck Akash's dick or Miles dick, because I'm gonna try.
Mark Gagnon
I'll need to get my dick sucked not to perform.
Eddie
All right, thank you, guys. Peace.
Mark Gagnon
I also think part of the reason he won's maybe secondarily. I don't want to argue with Friedberg. But, like, when you feel cheated by mainstream politicians, for lack of a better word, the guys on the outside are going to start seeming a lot more appealing. He seems so much more authentic than Cuomo has seemed since Clover. At least he seems more authentic than me, than Eric Adams seems. He seems like he cares. Yes, you can say not authentic or.
Akash Singh
I feel like he's authentic.
Mark Gagnon
Okay, fine.
Dane Cook
But you can.
Mark Gagnon
It feels like he cares.
Akash Singh
I think he has plans that. I think he has plans and ideas that appeal to the frustrations of New Yorkers where these other politicians, like the Cuomos, whatever, feels like it's just gonna be the same old, same old, that has put these New Yorkers in the position they are right now. They're suffering. The only problem is, like, a lot of the plans that he has, some of them. And this is why I wanna talk with him. And not on some gotcha shit, but, like, from my little research, implementing them would be quite difficult. You know, like, for example, to pay for all of his plans, he wants to, like, increase taxes by 2% on, like, the billionaires. Sure, great idea. The mayor can't do that. You have to convince the assemblymen to do that. Taxation, even in the New York City is done in Albany. Right. Which he was working in the state assembly and he didn't do while he was there. So how is he gonna get it done now that he's mayor? He was in the position to raise taxes before for four years, whatever it is, and it didn't happen. Now he no longer has that authority to make that change. How is that gonna happen? There's certain circumstances also, like understanding this rent freeze. I get it. I get it. Rent is fucking crushing people. I get it. 1 Downstream effects of that that cause rental problems in New York City right now. Now, I'm sure there's other things to.
Eddie
Refute this, and it has been done before.
Akash Singh
It has, Bloomberg. No, no, the rent freezes have been done before 100%. But the downstream effects create these, like, what are called ghost apartments. Have you heard of these, like, zombie apartments. So when you have a limitation in, in the ability to increase rent, and I'm not making the argument for increasing rent, and there's a bunch of fucking scumbag landlords out there. Don't get me wrong. Like, I actually love this idea of, like, finding ways to make it more aff. But I think the way you do that is by increasing production, you basically create more supply and then that brings it all down. But right now what you're going to do is he has plans to build, but building takes time. You can't just erect a fucking skyscraper in a month or two like they used to do back in the day. Like you have building codes and all this other fucking shit. So you have this situation where if you, if you're not allowed to increase rent, it doesn't incentivize the people who own the building to renovate those apartments. It actually incentivizes them to leave them vacant until hopefully one day they change. So there's 100,000 units that are rent controlled in New York City that are sitting vacant right now. 100,000 because of this change. So these are the types of downriver effects that we need to think about. Like, yes, rent freeze makes you feel awesome now. And as a voter, you go, well, I don't care about downstream. My life is difficult right now. I need to know that I'm not spending more money every single year on rent. I get that 100%. But do we create a problem? Does this solution create a much bigger problem down the road, which it looks like it has? Whereas freeing up places to build so you increase supply will naturally drive down rent.
Eddie
So I would have to do more research. I just don't see how it would incentivize a landlord to not rent out the apartment. Because a rent freezes year to year. It's not like a long term thing, it's not a forever thing.
Akash Singh
What does that mean? A rent freezes year to year?
Eddie
Meaning it's like every year they decide how much rent will go up, like what percent percentage.
Akash Singh
But that exists. That exists already.
Dane Cook
Yeah.
Eddie
So he's just talking about a rent freeze that's temporary.
Mark Gagnon
So for this year we're not raising rent. Yeah, next year we'll revisit.
Eddie
So it just temporarily helps people who are already like pretty hard, like month to month with rent.
Akash Singh
And then what? How would that help those people next year? I guess?
Eddie
No, but that's the thing.
Mark Gagnon
It's like temporary relief.
Eddie
Temporarily. You help people. And so like if you're really check to check now, okay, I know for the next year my rent's not gonna go up and maybe I can allocate some money, put some money away, whatever the case is, like, it just helps people who are starving right now.
Akash Singh
It gives you like, you know when you're playing the car racing video game and you pass the checkpoint, you get another 30 seconds or 40 seconds, it gives you that. But it's not like a solution to the problem in New York City, which is a lack of units. Right. And we have right now millions of square feet, millions of square feet of office in midtown New York that is zoned for officers. Yeah, it's over commercial. If we can change that zoning and we can start making residential properties there. Yeah, maybe it's not like the most amazing place to live, but like, honestly, who gives a fuck? You're in Manhattan.
Andrew Schulz
It would be amazing, right?
Akash Singh
Sure, sure.
Eddie
Like, like what you said, those things take time. So in the meantime, I can freeze rent while creating more.
Mark Gagnon
Because you said he wants to build, he wants to increase supply to match the demand. But while I do that, that year to year, here's a rent that's fair.
Akash Singh
And I did see him, I did see him say that he has ideas to build. I think that you don't even need to build. I think you just need to rezone a lot of these buildings. And then like months, we're talking about transition months. So many people are not working in these office spaces. I'm not saying a lot of people working from home, obviously people have gone back in. But if they're still vacant offices and we know the issue is supply, supply, supply. Yeah, it's not. You can't just put this like artificial cap, right? An artificial cap, like you said, maybe lasts a year or two years, but you're going to really affect the market and then you're not going to incentivize the renovation of these units and the upkeep of these units. Now you want to have fucking slum lords. That's going to be next level slum forever. And also, I'll say, like, there's a lot like we have friends growing up that had the. I had both situations. I had friends that grew up that had rent control apartments and there were like people that were like hardworking, struggling, and the landlords are doing everything they possibly could to get them kicked out of there. Like piece of shit landlords. So we know those people exist 100%. Absolutely. Like, I have a friend, my boy Carlos, who ends up being a cop. You guys have all met Carlos. And like the landlord stopped accepting rent from the family. Family. So that they could eventually claim that they weren't paying rent. So what his family did, they were smart enough, they just started paying, putting the rent in escrow and just kept it there. And then they went to court and then they end up winning. But like these fucking landlords will do anything to do it. They'll buy some of these buildings, trying to buy them out. So we know that there's a lot of scumbag landlords but there's also a lot of New Yorkers that have rent controlled apartments. And then they have a fucking place upstate. Like I know a buddy of mine, he had a rent control apartment, it was in Brooklyn Heights and then he had a place upstate in. And that rent control part is not for you. It's not for people that can afford another place. And if the government knew that they had that other place, they would have kicked them out of that rent controlled apartment. So there are a lot of people with wealth that are taking advantage of this system as well. So it's not just these landlords.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, but his solution is this is.
Akash Singh
A fucking global intifada. It's a global intifada.
Mark Gagnon
Here's how I know he's good. His dub don't even have hate him.
Andrew Schulz
Yes.
Mark Gagnon
I think he's all right. And that's when I was like this guy.
Akash Singh
That means Dove's in on some Assad project.
Andrew Schulz
Bring him into the studio. You can talk to him and just see what he has to say.
Eddie
If he passed Dove's sniff test, man, he's good, Al.
Mark Gagnon
And I got a thousand dollar bet though.
Akash Singh
What's that?
Mark Gagnon
On whether or not Al thinks he wins the general election. I don't think he wins the general election.
Akash Singh
I mean listen, nobody can win the general election without coming on flagrant. So obviously if he wants to have the same outcome as the give you $1,000. Got the last socialist that.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Akash Singh
Yes, the socialist. The yin yang twins. When the yin yang twin was giving everybody a thousand bucks. Right. He was gaining a lot of steam because American, you know, New Yorkers were struggling. Right. So not we but you know, some many are. Are struggling. So that seems really good. And then you play it safe and you know, you play prevent defense prevents you from winning.
Eddie
Yeah, he's gonna come on.
Akash Singh
So you have, you have an open seat to come on but have quite.
Mark Gagnon
A few unresponded to text messages.
Eddie
He'll come on but thousand dollars a bet.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. Done.
Akash Singh
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
No question. Here's what I don't think people dude, I think that it was awesome watching the momentum. He never had a target on his back. He didn't run with a target on his back because nobody saw him as a real threat. So he just got to talk his be spicy.
Akash Singh
He wasn't a baby in Gaza. Like why would he, why would he have a. Why would he have a target on his back? Dude, stop. That's not fair.
Mark Gagnon
That's not fair. Because has headquarters right under that bay and you have no Idea.
Akash Singh
Dude, did you think that was a diaper station? No, it was a fucking Hamas headquarters. That's not Aquaphor. That's not desitin. That's not the things that you need for diaper rash. That's all Hamas headquarters right there. Come on, dude. Don't you know how they make bombs? They use diapers, desitin and Aquaphor. You mix that up together, it's a fucking nuke. We gotta take it out. We gotta take it out. Schultz on vacation. I know, right? Just thinking that. Let's go.
Dane Cook
Oh, my gosh, this guy's come around, dude.
Akash Singh
Dub was so funny, man. This guy loves partying, dude. Loves it, dude. I never. I never. I don't even a partying no more, dude. What? I don't with it that much. I like day parties, okay?
Mark Gagnon
That's a vibe.
Akash Singh
I want to get drunk during the day, be sober by the time I go to sleep, wake up in the morning, play, paddle, grow environment.
Eddie
That's the like grown men party.
Akash Singh
I'm not trying. In Ibiza, everything is from three in the morning to seven in the morning. Yeah, Like, I'm talking to John Summit. You know, the DJ Johnson is like huge. I'm like. I'm like, dude. And I was talking to this other D.J. fisher. Do you guys know Fisher? They're amazing. And. And I was like, fellas, I'm here. I want to see your guys. Shit, like, I'm excited to see your guys. Shit. Like, I want to see you guys. You're at the Mecca for partying. So I'm like, it's different when you're at like a club in Vegas. Like, I want to see you when you're at. What is the show like? And like, yeah, I'm going on from 3 to 7. I'm like, day party, like, what? He goes, no, 3 to 7am I like, I'm gonna catch you in Vegas, my boy.
Mark Gagnon
There's no way I'm wake up at 6am and head over there Sunday, you.
Akash Singh
Know, that's what a lot of people will do. They take a little nap, wake up.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. And then go, that's the only way you can make it.
Akash Singh
But yeah, I'm too old for the night parties, bro, if your ain't starting at like 11.
Mark Gagnon
But he loved it, this.
Akash Singh
Partying dude. There was one night where I was so tired because I have a child that I have to wake up. Oh, yeah. Okay. Can I just tell y' all something?
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, tell us. I saw Andrew as a dad, by the way. We Flew back together. And it was really funny to watch someone torture him the way he tortures everyone else.
Akash Singh
I said the funniest shit. Oh, man.
Mark Gagnon
The baby was crying. They were trying to. She was hungry, and poor girls just crying. Shiloh, so beautiful. Emma was so sweet. She was like, I hope you guys don't mind. I was like, it's the cutest thing in the world. Anyway, she's trying to hold off giving.
Akash Singh
Them milk until they. Until the plane takes off. So the ears pop when they're drinking.
Eddie
Oh, okay.
Akash Singh
That's the idea.
Mark Gagnon
Shiloh keeps crying. She's going through it. Schultz. You can tell. Just struggling, saying anything he can. I just put my head up over. I said, hey, it sounds like she gets grumpy when she's hungry. Who do you think she got that from?
Akash Singh
Nothing. No comebacks. Nothing, son. On the way out. So on the way out to Ibiza, right? We get on the plane, right? Emma got Shiloh. Everything's good. I take a sleeping pill. I'm like, I'm get ahead of this shit. I'm good. I take a sleeping pill, right? Take the sleeping pill. Gulp. Plane takes off. I'm knocked out. Two hours. I'm deep in asleep. Two hours. Attention, everybody. There's a problem with the oxygen on the plane. We'll be returning back to New York. No. I said, oh, no. Damn.
Eddie
Two hours into a sleeping bed.
Mark Gagnon
Listen.
Akash Singh
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Two hours into a sleep. And, Bill, this is just starting to kick in, right? My wife is like, okay, I need your help with Michal. I'm like, I don't even know what you mean.
Andrew Schulz
Oxygen.
Akash Singh
You're. You're. I'm. I'm low oxygen, and I'm on a sleeping pill. I can barely stand up at this point. Okay, we're two hours out. We gotta go Two hours back. Land. Okay? I am gone off the sleeve. I'm a zombie. I can barely hold the baby. I can't put. Make the stroller, right. I'm trying to fold the stroller into the little part. I can't do it. I'm just like, yo, Zay. But, like, I can't even make sentences to ask for help with the stroller.
Eddie
I can't do anything like Leo in a Quaalute.
Akash Singh
I go back, right? We just waiting for. Hopefully the plane takes a. Hopefully the plane takes her. We talked to a girl, right, who, like, went to the show at Madison Square Square Garden. We're like, yo, can you go check to see if the plane's actually going to take off. Because sometimes they bullshit. She's like, I got you. She goes back there, comes back, she goes, it's not happening. To the morning bet. Get into Uber. Look at the app. 15 minutes after we left, plane went to.
Andrew Schulz
Bro, it sounds like you and Dove might have been the problem on the plane. Dude, I think the two of you guys were sucking up all the oxygen, and they were like, we have some.
Akash Singh
A bit time.
Mark Gagnon
I texted him, I said, how's Paris? He said, we haven't left yet. I said, what, you supposed to leave two days ago? What's happening?
Akash Singh
Oh, yeah. No, it was brutal.
Andrew Schulz
Oh, well, you just asked a random lady, like, hey, give us intel on the plane?
Akash Singh
No, I asked the lady. She worked there. Yeah, she worked there.
Andrew Schulz
Oh, and she punked you.
Akash Singh
Punk me. But whatever. We got back out there and then. And Abisa was. Visa was cool. Have you guys been to Ibiza? Anybody? It's like fire. It's. It's like. It's Mexico for Europe. It's Europe's Mexico. That's. It's like everybody in Europe goes there. They party. A lot of Americans actually go there. Like, a lot of people like that are from Miami. And because it just gets so hot and you can go there, it's, like, relatively cheap. And what's cool about it is that, like, it's Spain. So they're not. Spain is not pretentious. France is pretentious.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah.
Akash Singh
And there's good things that come with pretentiousness. Like, you can't be pretentious without having nice.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Akash Singh
You got to have nice shit to meet up with the pretentiousness. Right? So, like, we put up with their attitude because it's beautiful. It's Is. It's amazing. Right? Italy is, like, less pretentious than France, but still, they got a little bit of, you know, Spain is no. Spain is no pretentiousness.
Eddie
Like, Spain.
Akash Singh
They're like. They're almost kind of Moroccans, and, like, they don't even really know what they are. You know, it's. Everything's been so mixed and matched. It's like. And there's zero pretentiousness. So, like, there's never a moment where you feel uncomfortable, never a moment where you feel judged. Like it's for that. Is it. Is it as nice as in Italy or France? Parents know, but, like, never feeling out of place or uncomfortable and always feeling, like, accepted and welcomed beats that in so many ways. Does that make sense?
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, of course.
Akash Singh
No.
Andrew Schulz
I always thought Ibiza is a big party destination.
Akash Singh
Half party, half wellness. Yeah.
Andrew Schulz
Oh, really?
Akash Singh
Yeah.
Eddie
So half of the island, I heard. It's like. I didn't know it was so many Americans, but, like, people like Germans and, like, Denmark and all, like, all. All the party kids, they go there, they go on drugs, and then they party all the way in the morning, and then the other side is just, like, older people with money who just want to chill.
Akash Singh
It's like an original wellness place.
Andrew Schulz
So going with the fam was great.
Akash Singh
It was amazing. It's amazing. Traveling with a kid is the hardest thing that's ever been done in history. I remember thinking about D Day when they just dropped the door and the fucking Germans started shooting, and the first 14 of them died. And I was like, they don't even know what's up. Travel. Like, there's nothing more difficult than traveling with the baby. I mean that, and I will stand by that for the rest of my life. But once you're there with the baby, it's like.
Mark Gagnon
It's amazing.
Akash Singh
But, yeah.
Eddie
Yeah, that's nice. I was going to try to join you guys. I was in Barcelona.
Akash Singh
Yeah. Why didn't you come over?
Eddie
I just couldn't get away. We just had, like, so much stuff. It was my shorty's birthday, so a lot of family stuff, stuff that was planned. But, yeah, I was looking. I saw, like, protests were going on for people, people for tourists in Barcelona because they're, like, against it because they're raising property taxes for the people who want to transplant over there. And so there's just anybody who doesn't look like them, they're shooting them with water guns. That's the way they're protesting.
Akash Singh
Protest for tourists. They're protesting Airbnb. They, like, shut down all those Airbnbs. Also, like, literally, I had a conversation with a dude, like, and he was the captain of this boat. We, like, took a boat out one day, and he was breaking down. It was so funny because, like, he's like. I'm like, so, what's going on? Like, culture? Like, what's happening here? Like, how do you guys feel? It's like every country is the exact same problems right now. They're just like, immigration. There's just so much immigration and just. And we're not getting the good ones. I'm like, who you get? He goes. He goes. He goes, ah. These Moroccans, man. Just dove. Is at the front of the post. Same thing.
Eddie
I was talking to somebody there. They. It sounds like you're Talking to American when they're complaining about the things.
Akash Singh
It's the immigration, cost of living. Cost of living, Immigration, immigration. And also water gun.
Eddie
No, I was looking for it. I'm like, that's the best way to protest.
Akash Singh
What's that?
Eddie
I was looking for the people shooting.
Akash Singh
Oh, the water gun. Yeah.
Eddie
Because I'm like, that's the best way to protest.
Akash Singh
You're in a place that's hot.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, it's refreshing.
Akash Singh
Like, please. But they said this. They're like the left wing government lets all of the Moroccans in because they know that they'll vote left wing. And I'm like, oh, I thought that was like a conspiracy in America. Well, this is like what the whole world is feeling right now. Or at least the Western world, dude.
Andrew Schulz
We gotta be grateful for Mexicans, dude.
Akash Singh
Right?
Andrew Schulz
We live next to the best immigrants, dude.
Akash Singh
I literally said that to them. I was like, you have to understand, it's like how lucky we are. I was telling that to that guy. It's like we have a country to the south and to the north which are like so similar to us in terms of like culture. We all pretty much believe in the same God, same moral, same value. Like, yeah, there is going to be some issues with work and blah, blah, blah, that kind of stuff. But it's not like they're coming in and like they don't immediately assimilate because there's not much to assimilate to. Yeah. You know what I mean?
Andrew Schulz
Like they pop over, vote for Trump. It's like, you don't have to teach.
Akash Singh
Him how to not Jesus.
Mark Gagnon
Like you do with whom?
Akash Singh
Say again?
Mark Gagnon
Like you do with whom?
Akash Singh
I don't know. No, no, no, no.
Mark Gagnon
But yeah, that's dude, one landmass, Europe, Middle East, Asia, all one, like there we don't have that issue. They got real diversity over there. They divide them.
Akash Singh
But it is interesting that like people are having, I don't know, maybe it's a reflection of economic downturn and people are blaming it on immigration and you're just looking for a scapegoat for your problems. Right? Like, maybe it's a little bit of everything, but maybe there was a very ambitious, like, immigration policy. Like, maybe people had too much hubris, maybe they're too much confidence, you know, it's like when you let few people in, they're forced to assimilate. If you let big numbers in, there's really not a force.
Mark Gagnon
I sign my community.
Akash Singh
You have your community, so you don't really have to break free of that like, you see that in New York a lot of times. Like, you can go to Queens. There's areas of Queens where, like, people have lived their entire lives. They do not speak of English. Like, they just speak Spanish. You've been Colombian. Everybody in your community is Colombian, etc. There's no pressure. If that community didn't exist. Now there's a real pressure. If you want to get a job, you got to speak the language. You got to do these things. I don't know.
Andrew Schulz
But not to mention, this is like an ancient. This is an ancient issue.
Akash Singh
Talk to me.
Andrew Schulz
You know what I mean? Like, the Spanish battling, like, you know, like, North African. Like, Muslim people living in Spain.
Akash Singh
Yeah. Like the Moors.
Andrew Schulz
There's cities in Spain called. I think it's called Matamoros. It literally means more killers.
Akash Singh
More killers? Yeah.
Andrew Schulz
There's whole cities named after, like, yo, this is where we killed all the Muslims, dude. If you go to cities that has the same name today, dude, go to the south of.
Akash Singh
It's crazy. Go to the south of Spain. You're gonna see tons of, like, these. These beautiful, like, repurposed mosques and stuff like that. Like, the south of Spain is North Africa.
Eddie
Yeah.
Akash Singh
Like, you're talking about, like, a boat ride. Like, nothing.
Andrew Schulz
So you get why they're going there? Like, yeah, dude, we're just taking it back.
Akash Singh
Come back home. Yeah.
Andrew Schulz
This famous promise to us, dude, they had it.
Akash Singh
They had the Jews that were living all throughout Spain. And then I think that it was, like, 1491. They elected Zoram. No, but they kicked the Jews out in 1491.
Andrew Schulz
And then 1492, they came to America, got rich.
Akash Singh
Isn't that crazy? They went to find them. They're like, yeah, where the fuck did they go? Wait a second. What are we up to? You didn't explain the fractured reserve banking before you left.
Andrew Schulz
We need to keep one of y' all.
Akash Singh
Excuse me. Please explain how you make the more money after all the money. I don't understand. You have $10, and how do you make it into $19 without making nine more dollars?
Andrew Schulz
Dude, it really is that they got rid of the Jews, and they're like, we just need to go steal money from someone else. We can't make the magic. We can't make Jew magic.
Akash Singh
Or they got rid of the Jews, kept all their money, and they were like, let's build a navy. That might have been another thing that happened. You know who was telling me about this? I mean, this is. Oh, who the fuck is telling me about this? Oh, this did the. The. When the Jews got kicked out of England, did you hear about this?
Mark Gagnon
No.
Akash Singh
They got kicked out of England for a coin clipping.
Andrew Schulz
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Akash Singh
Did you hear about this? So, like, what people do this? Like, why do they have the ridges on the end of coins? Right? Is because before they had the ridges, people would clip the end of the coin. Coins.
Andrew Schulz
And they were made of the actual material. They were actually made of like one to one value.
Akash Singh
So. So it wouldn't look different, but you could get whatever. And, and, and somebody asked them, they're like, well, didn't everybody just do that? And somebody says so? He goes, yeah, but they clipped the hardest.
Mark Gagnon
Oh, my God.
Akash Singh
You know who told me that? Zora Mandel. That's my last one. My last.
Mark Gagnon
We don't believe it.
Akash Singh
Believe it. Okay? This is propaganda.
Andrew Schulz
Oh, from home, dude.
Akash Singh
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Mark Gagnon
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Akash Singh
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Mark Gagnon
You should.
Akash Singh
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Mark Gagnon
Oh, dude, we went to Paris. Paris is fire.
Akash Singh
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
You just got to have someone to tell you where to eat, because if you go on your own. We went off a Google review, and then my wife met with her friend, and their husband was actually great. We got into a fight with two people next to us. It was a whole fucking thing. Restaurant dog, strangers. Yeah. So. So we're at this restaurant. It's like a fucking rainforest cafe. My wife's friend makes a reservation. She goes, it has good Google reviews. And I'm like, that's a problem in Paris, in Rome, don't trust Google reviews. It's a bunch of fucking idiots from Toledo being like, this is the best food I've ever had.
Akash Singh
You.
Mark Gagnon
You don't know shit. We go there, it's $12 tacos, and then also dumplings, and then also basmati masala rice. It's just like every cuisine. And one thing, I've never met these people. I can't be like, where the airport did you bring.
Akash Singh
It's crazy.
Mark Gagnon
But this is not a nice restaurant. It's like I can tell the next table. Exactly. Next table. We are this close together, right? My wife's friend is like a very bubbly person. So, like, she gets a little loud. But, like, we've been loud at diners many times. I know what loud is. This ain't. It's just having fun, girl. Next to a us goes, hey, Guys, guys, guys, can you quiet down, please? She feels really bad. I'm like, we don't say anything. It's like, all right, fine, whatever. We keep eating. Then I'm talking, and she says it again. She's actually saying it to this girl. But I thought she's saying it to me. She goes, guys, guys, guys, can you quiet down? I go, no, I'm not doing that. And then I start talking again.
Akash Singh
I'm not trying to be on this. These people's side, but, like, imagine you're trying to eat and then you're just hearing, diamond, diamond, diamond, diamond, diamond, diamond, diamond, double D.
Mark Gagnon
No, dude, My wife's friends are not even Indian. I'm lying.
Akash Singh
I knew it.
Mark Gagnon
You know, Stay true.
Akash Singh
Come on, bro. I already saw the Instagram. I peeped. I saw the Instagram story. I peeped it already. I was ready. Okay, tell me.
Andrew Schulz
So.
Mark Gagnon
Okay, so she second time, I just. I'm like, we're just going to shut this down. I go, we're not doing that. And then I start talking. Then she starts yelling, putting her hand, like, close to my. My face. Then my wife goes, don't talk to my husband like that. Don't put your hand in my husband's face. And I'm like, now we got a thing. I know. This is not going down from here.
Akash Singh
Does she have a man with her?
Mark Gagnon
No, it's another woman. Two friends.
Akash Singh
You good? They're.
Andrew Schulz
They're French. American.
Mark Gagnon
They're French.
Andrew Schulz
Okay.
Mark Gagnon
But you're here at the Rainforest Cafe. The waitress is coming over in a printed T shirt as a work uniform with a lizard on it. This is not a nice place. So my point is, like, now we're all kind of. And I'm like, look, you're at a place with 12 Euro tacos. Don't pretend this is going to be quiet.
Akash Singh
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
Like, you need to go somewhere else. If you want a nice quiet meal, y' all can go spend money.
Akash Singh
She starts yelling back, doesn't work, guys. She.
Mark Gagnon
Then this. This is like. This is some true Karen. She hits me, pokes me hard. My wife goes, I'll slap the out of you. Now it's a thing. Now our waitress comes over, this dumpy looking, and she's like, what's going. She. The other guy stand up like, yo, she just hit our friend. And then the lady goes, what did he do?
Akash Singh
And I was like, what?
Mark Gagnon
And they go, they said we were being loud. And the waitress just goes, you were being kind of loud. And I was like, this is crazy.
Akash Singh
I'm sorry, but I love.
Mark Gagnon
So the friend goes, get the manager over here. This lady's still screaming at me. Still hit, like touching me. I'm like, do not touch me. My wife is going nuts. We can step outside. This is a whole thing.
Eddie
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
Then she starts staring down this other poor girl who was just being loud but hasn't said anything this whole time. She starts staring her down. Her husband is like, is this looking at my wife? He gets in her line sight like this full stare down. Manager comes over and there's an empty table. So my friend, who's pretty calm, the husband is like, just tell them to move down a table. You can't hit somebody. There's an empty table, they can move down one. And then the manager talks to them. He comes over and he goes, I'm gonna be honest. You're right. She's crazy. We're gonna move them down the table. Everything is cool. The manager is a minority, so he's not gonna just. This white lady's obviously gonna side with.
Akash Singh
This other white French people.
Mark Gagnon
But the manager was. Was like, this. This lady's nuts.
Akash Singh
Oh, dude. Also the only type of French there is. I didn't know. Do you think the black people would be complaining about how loud. I didn't put a color to them at all. So racist.
Andrew Schulz
He's like, you guys are eating in a jungle. They're obviously.
Akash Singh
I didn't put any color to them.
Andrew Schulz
And then you said they were white. And I was like, oh, they are white.
Akash Singh
Nah.
Eddie
Miles is pictured all this.
Akash Singh
I know, I know. What it I to think about. Damn. Damn.
Andrew Schulz
Too progressive, bro. You saw the French soccer team, you're like, no, they're black. French people are all black, obviously.
Akash Singh
I just didn't even think of their color.
Mark Gagnon
You didn't think of their color? I didn't even think. I had to explain. It's a. She's complaining about noise. Who does that?
Akash Singh
French people. I just like. It just seemed very European.
Andrew Schulz
I don't know.
Akash Singh
Anyway, keep going.
Dane Cook
So what's the.
Andrew Schulz
Do you think Alexander Hamilton's actually black? I need to know. Like, you saw this?
Eddie
No, he was.
Mark Gagnon
So eventually they moved down. Everything was cool. But the craziest thing is while she's complaining, and then my friend is like, yo, she hit our friend. Whatever. Her friend goes, he hit her first. I said, are you. I go, are you fucking mind, bitch? I'll get arrested if you say that. And she just goes, you're right, I'm sorry. And it was like, that's. That's an Insane thing to throw out there and then just be like, you right, my bad.
Akash Singh
I love these two women.
Eddie
She punk the out of you.
Akash Singh
You ain't do.
Mark Gagnon
Yo what I'm going to do.
Akash Singh
I'm going to knock her out. No, knock that French out.
Eddie
Practically men, they don't shave.
Akash Singh
And her bro, you hit him with.
Dane Cook
The hinge left, son.
Mark Gagnon
I really wanted to. I really wanted to.
Eddie
Now your wife should expect the out there.
Akash Singh
She should. If she said she'll do it. And then she kept touching.
Mark Gagnon
I know she's freaking out. Dude, my wife freaking out. We got to calm. She. We're international. You don't get arrested here. We just got a Birkin. Don't press your luck. Sit the down. But she. As soon as she said don't talk to my husband like that, I was like, here we go, we go. She up. They ended up moving down. And then I was just intentionally louder for the rest of the meal. Every laugh was just.
Eddie
You got your get back.
Akash Singh
Damn. She pucked the out of you. She punk me. She moved down.
Eddie
She mushed you, bro.
Akash Singh
Yeah, she mushed you out the way. She mushed you out the way. And they comped her meal cuz they had to sit next to Hindu standing crazy.
Mark Gagnon
I was like, y' all can comp this 13 year old meal.
Dane Cook
Y' all should have brought out a.
Akash Singh
Hookah the middle of the dinner, bro. Put your own UK on the table, start hitting it. Blowing into her face. That's how you teach them a lesson about a global globalism or whatever.
Mark Gagnon
No.
Akash Singh
What are they called? The global globalists? Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
No, no, it was a. It was a real nightmare. Next meal was great. We distrusted the hotel concierge. That was great.
Akash Singh
Yeah, Just let the concierge tell you.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Eddie
What day did you get there? I'm just curious, what day did you get there? Was it because there was like a big festival going, going on in Paris?
Mark Gagnon
Oh, it was the day after they. They injected all those people. Yeah, yeah, we read that story and then we left that night.
Eddie
It was just like block parties everywhere. And then there was. I heard it's your people. They were injected.
Mark Gagnon
They would say some like that they were.
Dane Cook
I was talking about.
Eddie
She was being Indians.
Akash Singh
Indians.
Eddie
They said Asians, but they refer to them as Asians.
Akash Singh
No. Is that true? I. I saw almost no Indians when I was in Paris.
Mark Gagnon
I saw a few.
Akash Singh
Really?
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Akash Singh
Look for them, but that you're probably going to lock in more.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Akash Singh
That's a lethal combination though. Indian and French, you can't be doing that, bro.
Mark Gagnon
I don't even know what doing that.
Akash Singh
You can't be doing that. Come on. Come on. You can't do. That's too much. That's too much.
Mark Gagnon
None of these Parisian smell. I didn't smell. Smell that shit.
Andrew Schulz
Thank you. Thank you, uncle.
Eddie
You just write yourself.
Mark Gagnon
No, I'm saying that.
Akash Singh
No, I'm not gonna lie, though.
Mark Gagnon
Paris smells like shit.
Akash Singh
French women are the hottest.
Mark Gagnon
It's unbelievable.
Akash Singh
They're the hottest. They're unbelievable. Spanish women are the sexiest. This is something that people need to, like, really put some respect on Spain's game. Like when you go to, like, when we talk about, like, Latinas are hot and all this other shit. That is just Spain. Spain gave them all that hot shit.
Eddie
Spain mixed with indigenous and black.
Akash Singh
Yeah. I don't know if I've ever seen a 4 indigenous bitch walking down the street and be like, well, they got some real sex appeal.
Eddie
No, I'm saying the mix. It's the mix that makes them hot.
Akash Singh
No.
Eddie
Yes, it is.
Akash Singh
It watered it down a little. It watered it down. The sex comes from Spain. They're this Spain. They're the sexiest. But French. And I think it's beautiful. It's an age thing. You need to be a little older to appreciate the French girl. Because they're not like. Like, you know how, like a British girl will be like, tons of makeup, like, tits out. Like, it's just like. It's like a. It's like a serving, like, buffet type of thing. Yeah, they're just straight. Elegance. Yes, Elegance, beauty.
Mark Gagnon
They look naturally beautiful.
Akash Singh
The most elegant women. Yeah, the most beautiful women play that, you know, obviously, outside of our wives are. It's French. It's French women. It's insane how beautiful. But the sexiest. What I will say this about Ibiza, also, I forgot to mention this. Ibiza, you're not going to see the 10 out of tens. The 10 out of tens are in the south of France or they're on the Amalfi coast or something like that. It's like you're in the 6 to 8 range. Okay, this is. This is gross, what I'm doing right now. But we got to get it out now before we're all wearing burka. Like, we're not even going to be able to objectify women. What's a gross objectify? 6. So 6 to like 8, maybe 8.5. Is. Are the girls in a be so. But they'll have, like, fake tits. They'll have, like a hand tattoo. They'll have all that kind of.
Eddie
But is wrong hand tattoos.
Akash Singh
No, no, nothing's wrong with it. Do you have that? It's such a specific. You have a little tattoo in your webbing. A. Is it like from an Aerosmith video? Okay, the point is the be. Okay. So you have this place that's not pretentious. And every girl you see you think you can sleep with. Ooh. When you're going to the. When you're at like, every girl's just a six foot dime.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah.
Akash Singh
You're not exactly going like, oh, yeah, I'm definitely getting late tonight. Anywhere you go, you're like, I could get laid. So I think that there's that crazy added value. It's like you don't feel out of place and every girl feels like attainable. That's a no brainer.
Andrew Schulz
And you're just being objective.
Akash Singh
I fart out my butt.
Andrew Schulz
That smells like Paris, dude.
Akash Singh
Yeah. And I'm just being objective, obviously.
Andrew Schulz
Like, is that what logical women are? Is that you. You're being object?
Akash Singh
And they're like, how my wife is. I'm looking at all these other women like they're eight.
Andrew Schulz
See? Smart. That's good.
Akash Singh
When I was in France, I was. I was like, where's my wife at? Where'd you go? Yo, My wife. Oh, this is a good story. Well, this boat, the captain of the boat takes us to this beach, right? Pulls up. It's not even like a beach. It's just some like, random private, right? Two dudes on the. On the rocks, butt ass naked, jacked dicks out. Huge.
Andrew Schulz
Whoa.
Akash Singh
Huge dicks. Like, so big. We could see how big they were.
Mark Gagnon
What color are you picturing.
Andrew Schulz
Migrants?
Akash Singh
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. I didn't even know Ibiza was in Spain. So I'm wondering. White. Yeah, they're right guys. Beautiful bodies, amazing asses. Huge dicks. Like, and when I say huge, it's like things from afar don't look that big. Like a lighter. A lighter from afar. You can't even. Can't even see it. It didn' normal. It looked like the candle, right? Like it was big. And my wife and Jason's wife think that they're gonna like, get us back. They're like, oh, what if we talk about their bodies? Right?
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Akash Singh
We love talking about dicks. Like, this is like our favorite thing about dicks. Let's talk about this. They're like trying to go, look how big their dicks are. We're like, they're huge.
Dane Cook
Let's go closer.
Akash Singh
I Haven't seen a dick soft that big in forever.
Andrew Schulz
Tie the boat up to it.
Akash Singh
Yes. Like we loved it. They are so frustrated that them objectifying guys dicks didn't drive us crazy. But we looked at it as a permission slip. So now the next day we're like, we gotta look at the chimichangas. The chimichangas are tits.
Andrew Schulz
Look at these Frenchwoman's dicks.
Akash Singh
French dicks.
Andrew Schulz
Tits.
Akash Singh
And let me tell you, there was a lot of tits. And there was about 15 minutes of that. And then my wife shut that shit down. My wife hit me with the I feel rejected, like you don't love me that kind of shit. Just cause I'm looking at some gigantic girls girl's tits. Yeah, yeah.
Eddie
Come on.
Akash Singh
That's silly. Yeah. I love you so much.
Andrew Schulz
You're just being objective.
Akash Singh
When you go to a museum, you look at one painting.
Andrew Schulz
No, no. You don't touch the paintings. You can't steal.
Akash Singh
You can't touch them. No. You can't take them with you. But you sit in front of them and you jerk off all over. That's why they have the plastic.
Mark Gagnon
That's how they make the Jackson politics.
Andrew Schulz
That's where it came from.
Akash Singh
Yeah, yeah. There's impressionist art and in mahjana that.
Andrew Schulz
Like a PETA protester. Dude.
Akash Singh
That's a great PETA protest.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah, just jerk off.
Akash Singh
That is a good Peter protest.
Andrew Schulz
Why is there white paint all over this painting?
Akash Singh
That is smart.
Mark Gagnon
Bust on the Mona Lisa's face and not Mona Lisa.
Akash Singh
The model's walking down the Runway, they're wearing the fur. You start jerking off on them. Oh, you want animal products. This seems like a horrible thing. Maybe we do need a Muslim Muslim rule. Maybe we've gone too far. Maybe we do need to expand the caliphate. Maybe we need not a global intifada. What does the have we figure out Regional. Yeah.
Andrew Schulz
Block by block. Block by block.
Akash Singh
Intifada.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah. Stop and frisk. Intifada.
Akash Singh
What did you do on vacation?
Andrew Schulz
No vacation. I went to Portland for shows and then I went to a prison with jelly roll.
Akash Singh
Oh my God. You texted the group chat this yesterday. I was like, what the is Mark up to?
Andrew Schulz
I was in you perform? He asked me to. He asked me. So I'm in Portland. He just messaged me. He's like, yo, bubba, I'm in Portland. I was like, let's go. So I went to the Portland Trail Blizzard training facility. I watched them play basketball.
Mark Gagnon
I was like, he didn't join in?
Akash Singh
No.
Andrew Schulz
I was like, you guys Got it, you guys. You guys can keep it, okay? And Jelly Roll is just an angel of a human being. I love him so much.
Mark Gagnon
He's the best.
Andrew Schulz
He's also so skinny now. Yeah, he's losing every time I see him. He's just half of the Jelly roll. He's not even a full jelly roll.
Akash Singh
Yeah, he's lo.
Andrew Schulz
He's literally looks amazing.
Akash Singh
And then I was about the prison right now.
Andrew Schulz
He goes, hey, you want to go to the prison tomorrow? I go, yeah, let's do it. And he goes, do you want to do five minutes? I was like, no, I'd rather not. And he's like, no, you got to do it. You just. Please. And so we show up. I'm like, going through the set. I'm like, what do I do? I was like, oh. I was like. My opening would just be like, look, guys, I'm not going to pander you. With that being said, I think you're all innocent.
Akash Singh
Okay.
Andrew Schulz
That was just, like, opening joke.
Akash Singh
Yeah.
Andrew Schulz
And so we show up at the thing. Immediately. They're like, you can't wear your shorts. You look like a prisoner.
Akash Singh
Like, what?
Andrew Schulz
Yeah, you're wearing blue denim shorts. That's what all the prisoners where. You can't wear this. I was like, oh, fuck. So I put on different pants. And then we go inside. And then they're like, the union boss said that they can't do comedy, only music. And I was like. So then I just stood there. The prison is, like 500 dudes deep. This is like the big event of the year. They're so excited. A lot of these guys are in there for life. A lot of these guys were on death row for, like, 30 years. And then they recently commuted their sentences a banned death row in Oregon.
Akash Singh
I'm not doing that.
Andrew Schulz
So now it's me and just a bunch of dudes. They are unfortunately, nothing to lose. Unfortunately the nicest guys guys ever.
Eddie
Yeah.
Akash Singh
Yeah, they are. I haven't seen a pretty. You kidding me? You come with those locks. Those guys were stroking good that night.
Mark Gagnon
They're going to start protesting all over you. Real good.
Akash Singh
They were about to protest.
Andrew Schulz
They were phenomenally nice. Jelly's on stage. I'm just chatting with these dudes.
Akash Singh
I didn't realize there was no security around you.
Andrew Schulz
No, there was just eight of these guys. I'm just hanging in the mosh with all the prisoners. They're so nice. And the Jelly starts singing. He had saved me. The whole yard is singing Save me together.
Mark Gagnon
Got to be crying.
Andrew Schulz
I'm Crying. Every. Everyone's crying. It's me, a bunch of prisoners just all sobbing, crying. I did whatever the opposite of scared straight is. It's like, I went in there, I was like, I could do this for a while. These guys are pretty cool, dude. And so I just hung in there. I cried like a baby. And then I left. And Jelly was like, all right, papa.
Akash Singh
That's it.
Andrew Schulz
And then they took a private jet, flew off. That was like the whole day. I just got sunburned with a bunch of prisoners talking about their life stories and crying.
Akash Singh
It was outside.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah.
Akash Singh
Damn.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah, dude.
Akash Singh
You could have died, bro. They could have killed you.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah, probably.
Akash Singh
Yeah. Like, nothing to lose. You got life, nothing to lose. And you walk in, you. Why would they kill.
Andrew Schulz
Well, I would say a lot. A lot of these guys with life, they got. They're in their little program. They got the lifers program where they take care of the prison. They run the whole yard. They set up the whole event themselves. And they organize everything internally. Just give the information over to the warden and they're like, yeah, we're gonna do this is how we organize it.
Akash Singh
So they think that's probably good. Keep them busy.
Andrew Schulz
They got a bunch of autonomy. They got like a Zen garden, they got a healing garden. There's all this stuff.
Akash Singh
Anybody try to wait, what would they have in the Zen garden?
Andrew Schulz
They just had like this beautiful garden. It was a maximum bonsai. All sorts of.
Mark Gagnon
Oh, dog.
Eddie
Better than regular people living in Portland.
Akash Singh
Hold on. Hold on one second. Because I've recently become very interested in bonsai.
Mark Gagnon
How concerning is this?
Andrew Schulz
And he's a green thumb.
Mark Gagnon
He texted me, son, I think I'm getting into bonsai. I was like, are you okay, dude?
Akash Singh
And I needed some relaxation, bro. I'm stressed. I'm traveling with a baby. And then all of a sudden, a bonsai video came up on my feed. I'm like, these are the most majestic plants I've ever seen in my life. I'm just staring at it and I'm just feeling relaxed.
Mark Gagnon
No, son, that's what I said.
Akash Singh
I said it was a crisis text. I'm having a midlife crisis. But, like, not in the way where I buy, like crazy cars and stuff.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Akash Singh
You know, it's in the way where I think about purchasing a bonsai and carry it. Yeah, yeah. I'm finding a way to make the trunk really thick.
Andrew Schulz
Brooklyn Botanical garden, they have 300 year old bonsais. I know you can go see them.
Akash Singh
I know all of them.
Dane Cook
I know all of them.
Akash Singh
By name. I know how much money they are, and I know how long they've been growing them these things. For generations, they grow these things.
Andrew Schulz
This guy once saw one Spanish cow, and he was like, I need a bonsai.
Akash Singh
Let me tell you something. He texted me.
Mark Gagnon
Oh, it's living art.
Akash Singh
Can I tell you one thing about the bonsai? Is that if. If trees can feel things.
Mark Gagnon
Son, I said, the same tree used.
Eddie
To be in New York.
Akash Singh
What the. Is he turning? We have to prepare for a new New York. The. The. The l. If. If trees are. If trees feel like fern gully, like they. They actually have feelings. This is the most cruel thing that's ever existed in humanity. If trees have. Have feelings, the Japanese should be bombed again and again and again and again.
Andrew Schulz
It's a miniature of Nan King. Every day.
Akash Singh
Every day, they peel the skin off of them. They cut the limbs. They. They put them in pots that are way too small for their size like it is. But seeing something small that looks ancient, right? Like a midget with a beard is exciting. You, like, look at it, and you, like, you're, like, entranced. There's wisdom. Can I just take you on a bonsai journey?
Mark Gagnon
Yes. Yes.
Akash Singh
Because they have. At the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, they have a bonsai section. We can go. And I would love to take you, and I'd love to help you relax there. I'd love. I think you'll have the best sleep you've ever had in your life.
Andrew Schulz
Okay.
Mark Gagnon
I am willing to do this. You will twist it on the way there, on the way back. Let's have some therapy sessions, you and me. I would love therapy, because I don't think everything is okay.
Akash Singh
I need therapy. I need to talk about a lot of issues. Yeah. But I'm gonna put it away to the side, and I'm gonna get into bonsai instead. I think that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do what men do. Okay. I'm not gonn problems.
Mark Gagnon
How many things can you paddle? Bonsai. At what point do you just be.
Akash Singh
Like, it's never enough. Yeah, let's just work. It's never enough.
Andrew Schulz
This one might be the one, dude. It might be the one.
Akash Singh
I think it's the one. Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Schulz
I think this will fix it.
Akash Singh
So beautiful, these bonsai trees.
Mark Gagnon
They're not all of them.
Akash Singh
I prefer a pine, like a Japanese pine, but, yeah. I'm sorry.
Mark Gagnon
And can we look at.
Akash Singh
Is that funny to you?
Mark Gagnon
Yes, it's horrifying to me, actually.
Akash Singh
Why don't you bring One bonsai up and see if it doesn't relax every motherfucker on this couch right now. Bring up one fucking bonsai tree.
Andrew Schulz
Dude, I think they have some of these.
Akash Singh
That one right there? Yep. Oh, look at that.
Andrew Schulz
Nice.
Akash Singh
Look at the root structure. Look how thick those bot. Those trunks are. Do you know how difficult it is to get that trunks? You have to wire the branches, force them to grow in certain ways, then you clip the wires. I mean, Alex, you know, pray for.
Eddie
Shelves, bro, this motherfucker's going to.
Akash Singh
I can't have interests. I can't have interest.
Eddie
You got enough? You got enough.
Akash Singh
You got a baby. What am I interested? I have a baby. I spend every waking moment I can avoiding her.
Mark Gagnon
I swear to God. He was saying, texting me this, and I was like, to my wife, I was like, dude, I think Chelsea's help. Like, I. I need to be there.
Akash Singh
I have to find out who I can text. Because I texted to Uyeda and he's like, dude, all I want to do is retire and do banzai.
Mark Gagnon
That's because he's Japanese, dude. He's going back home. Of course it feels that way.
Akash Singh
Yeah, but okay, can I appreciate other cultures and can I appreciate what they've given us? Yeah, but like, you guys think about cows or whatever. Like just you embrace them. You let them live. You don't just like, chop them apart and they.
Mark Gagnon
They treat them cruelly like, like you said.
Akash Singh
Well, it depends. You also starve them, so maybe.
Mark Gagnon
No, we don't.
Akash Singh
Yes. Have you ever seen a cow in India?
Mark Gagnon
It looks like a person in India.
Akash Singh
Yes, I have.
Mark Gagnon
They don't get food sometimes.
Akash Singh
Yeah, it is true. Look how beautiful that tree is. Jesus. So balanced.
Mark Gagnon
I don't get it.
Akash Singh
Wind swept.
Andrew Schulz
See, Imagine if you. If you were just in prison. This is what you could do all day, Right? That's what happened.
Akash Singh
I thought about it.
Andrew Schulz
You listen to jelly roll, you work on your bonsai. It's pretty sick.
Akash Singh
I've thought about it, but then I don't get to see my little chicken.
Andrew Schulz
No, you get visitation.
Akash Singh
Yeah, but not enough. It's once a day. It's perfect.
Dane Cook
Not enough.
Akash Singh
Oh, look at them. Look at how majestic they are. Look at the root.
Mark Gagnon
When Schultz retires, it's going to be so funny how much he changes.
Andrew Schulz
Do oldest.
Akash Singh
Let me tell you how quickly I. I will. The second I there is like an adult paddle tour that I can be.
Andrew Schulz
Competitive at the XFL Paddle.
Akash Singh
If they have that, it's over. It's over. I'm Retiring. Okay.
Mark Gagnon
He's going to grow his hair.
Andrew Schulz
You can just start this.
Mark Gagnon
He's going to vote for Mamdani. It's going to be old. He's going to be very Zen.
Akash Singh
I cannot wait to vote for Momani and then move to Florida. I cannot wait to do this. I don't love that one.
Andrew Schulz
Scroll down, scroll down.
Akash Singh
Oh, God.
Andrew Schulz
What's the oldest one?
Akash Singh
How old? Oh, look at it. Oh, my God. Look at that.
Andrew Schulz
Those guys have been tending it for thousands of years.
Akash Singh
That's cool. So the oldest one? The oldest one is like a few hundred years old, bro.
Andrew Schulz
This one's estimated to be a thousand.
Akash Singh
I don't believe it.
Mark Gagnon
I think there was in Hawaii. There was one in Maui, I think. And what's that place, Len? Lanai or whatever. I think there was one like really old bonsai tree.
Akash Singh
Yeah. Lanai. Yeah. Beautiful. I mean, look at that. This is. These have been passed down for generations. You have to upkeep these things.
Mark Gagnon
How big is that thing?
Akash Singh
Probably a couple feet. They do make bigger ones. Those are a little bit more impressive. But they're not as special, some might say.
Andrew Schulz
You're going to pass this down? No, you're going to die with it.
Akash Singh
No, I'm going to free it like Jefferson did with his slaves or whatever. Once I die, the bonsai can then go be a tree as it wants. But I'm gonna make it a little tea cupodle for this. You have a bonsai? Your little dog, That's a bonsai.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah.
Akash Singh
You realize we like little things, right? So you mutated the dog. You have a bonsai that sits and shits and pees. I'll just get one that doesn't sit.
Mark Gagnon
Don't cuddle with you.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah, like says you.
Eddie
This doesn't.
Akash Singh
Not everybody needs cuddles. Not everybody needs that. Sometimes you just want to look at something beautiful.
Mark Gagnon
I don't get it.
Andrew Schulz
There's a wonderful lesson in here.
Mark Gagnon
I'm worried about it.
Andrew Schulz
You're gonna pass this on to your family. They'll be like, oh, all right, listen.
Akash Singh
I do think you should be worried about me. But outside of that, look at that juniper. I think that juniper.
Dane Cook
Go down. Scroll down.
Akash Singh
I think the juniper is going to be beautiful. I hate it. Keep going.
Mark Gagnon
I like that.
Andrew Schulz
That's a little too modern, dude.
Akash Singh
Keep going, keep going. Keep going. The other way. The other way. The other way. The other way. The other way.
Mark Gagnon
That's number one. We got to number one.
Akash Singh
Oh, wow. Just majestic.
Andrew Schulz
Thousand years old.
Akash Singh
Truly majestic. That root structure. Where does it go. Look at that.
Andrew Schulz
500 years old.
Akash Singh
500 Al.
Andrew Schulz
Yes.
Akash Singh
How many generations?
Andrew Schulz
One Japanese generation. One Japanese Gu. 500 years old still.
Akash Singh
Okay, so you went to prison and then you did some shows in Portland.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah, it was wonderful.
Akash Singh
But they were fun.
Andrew Schulz
Oh, they were great.
Akash Singh
Portland actually has great comedy scene. Fantastic, dude.
Andrew Schulz
It had every type of mix of person you can imagine. You had like the non gendered native barista and then there's just like a Mexican maga guy just sitting hand in hand, you know? It was beautiful.
Akash Singh
No, that's a great. A lot of times these like super, like liberal cities, the comedy scene doesn't necessarily reflect that. It's like a rebellion against it. And they have all awesome, awesome comedy scenes. Yeah.
Andrew Schulz
And Jelly was awesome. And the prison was awesome. It was honestly a great weekend.
Akash Singh
I love it. It makes me very happy.
Eddie
Now listen, Jelly performing also, or he just.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah, he was at the arena with Postmodern the night before. And then the next day he goes to the prison, doesn't film anything, doesn't tell.
Eddie
I love that.
Mark Gagnon
He's the best.
Andrew Schulz
He went last year and he was like, I'm coming back for you guys. And he came back and they're like, we can't believe you came back.
Akash Singh
Wow.
Andrew Schulz
It was the only event that they do all year.
Akash Singh
Cuz everybody forgets about them. You have a friend that goes to jail for a long period of time and it's just exhausting to keep in touch.
Andrew Schulz
That's what it is. They make it hard intentionally.
Akash Singh
Yeah, they do. They have to punish them. I mean, it can't be a slumber party every weekend, right? Yeah.
Andrew Schulz
Woodstock 99.
Akash Singh
Yeah.
Eddie
Like it should be Banzai trees and Jelly Roll concerts, I think.
Akash Singh
I mean, sometimes they give them cats. You've seen that? Yeah. No, you give the prisoners cats.
Mark Gagnon
That's fire.
Akash Singh
Yeah, it's just like a. Like a little flashlight. You could. Yeah. Sorry, Tom. Sorry, Tom. Tom. Sorry. It's too soon. Too soon, Tom. I want everybody. I want everybody to put out a little bit of rip. Tom lost his. His cat. That was his ringtone. Shout out Taters, someone. Everybody go wish Tom cassette his cat a wonderful tenth life or whatever.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah.
Akash Singh
What is it?
Mark Gagnon
Yeah.
Akash Singh
Oh, you don't get 10th life. Well, the 10th life is the afterlife.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah, exactly.
Akash Singh
So, Tom, we love you.
Eddie
Love you, Todd.
Akash Singh
Tom.
Eddie
All right, Pete.
Akash Singh
Taters.
Mark Gagnon
He's crying right now. You can leave it.
Akash Singh
Now is the time. Thanks. Okay.
Mark Gagnon
Mid tears, dude.
Akash Singh
Sorry, Tom. Okay, guys, we have a very special guest because I want to talk about, like, we Got to talk about this fight this weekend, A big fight, a street fight.
Andrew Schulz
Street Fighter.
Akash Singh
Oh, there's also that. Oh, I was talking about something else, but yeah, Shout out Street Fighter.
Eddie
I told you. He was talking about a getting up on a French pit.
Andrew Schulz
A rumble of the jungle.
Mark Gagnon
There's no way you hit this woman.
Eddie
No, but my girl would have stuffed the out.
Akash Singh
Oh, she wouldn't shut up. None of our girls are doing anything.
Eddie
She's tough.
Akash Singh
None of. None of our.
Eddie
I know, I know, but we.
Andrew Schulz
We have a fighting expert that can discuss all things fighting.
Akash Singh
I think we need to bring. Let's talk about the UFC fights, then we can talk about Street Fighter. Man, Shout out everybody that was excited about that. Thank you. Everybody who made memes and stuff, you know. You know, official flavor memes was killing Jay, was killing us. But. But yeah, man, that's going to be really exciting. So I want to talk about that a little bit. But right now we have to talk about this UFC fight, so let' in an expert, someone who knows a little thing or two about it. Give it out for the champ. The champ is in the building.
Eddie
What's good, bro?
Dane Cook
How you doing?
Akash Singh
What's up? What's up, baby?
Andrew Schulz
Good to see you, brother.
Akash Singh
My boy. Come here, come here, come here.
Dane Cook
Champ gets the big seat.
Akash Singh
Champ gets the big seat. Yeah. Champ gets the big seat.
Dane Cook
How you doing, my brother?
Akash Singh
Good. Congrats, my man. Yeah. Okay, listen, thank you. We want to talk about everything that you've been. We've been up to, obviously. Obviously. But, like, you were at the fights? Yes, I was this weekend. Where were they, by the way?
Dane Cook
Vegas.
Akash Singh
They were in Vegas. Okay.
Dane Cook
International firework, usually. Always in Vegas.
Akash Singh
Okay. So there was. That was a pretty good card, dude. Like, I want to get a little, you know. Also, is your trainer here, by the way, the guy who fucks the Asian girls? The Saigon Joe dude.
Andrew Schulz
Banzai, Billy.
Dane Cook
Nah, he's not. He's not in.
Akash Singh
Where is he? Straight to Shanghai.
Dane Cook
Yeah, back. Back home.
Akash Singh
Okay, so you were at the. What did you watch? What do you think about this. This Jonathan Van kid? Am I getting his name?
Dane Cook
Joshua Van.
Akash Singh
Joshua Van. Sorry, Joshua. Sorry. Joshua. What do you think about him?
Dane Cook
That was like, the first proper fight that I watched. I heard good things, and then I seen a couple highlights. I'm like, oh, man.
Akash Singh
Did you watch him three weeks ago when he fought?
Dane Cook
I end up seeing the highlights of that.
Akash Singh
Yeah.
Dane Cook
But then I. I knew how good Roy Valleys, but then I end up picking Joshua Van just like. Because I'm just Like, man, just a momentum right now. Just on a tear. I'm like, I think he's going to get it done. And, you know, big, big week. International fight week. He turned it on and. Oh, man, did they turn that on. How was that, mate?
Mark Gagnon
That was.
Dane Cook
I reckon that's probably the best fight I've ever seen.
Akash Singh
Dude, it was unbelievable. I mean, if you haven't seen it, like, I recommend watching it because. And I'm excited to talk to you about it specifically, because what I thought that he did so well, and this is something that you've had to do well in your career, is like timing, timing, timing. He's not a tall guy and he doesn't have long arms. Like, you actually have a lot of reach. I think that's what people don't realize about you.
Dane Cook
I would like, it's. Yeah, we'll get back to that.
Akash Singh
Okay, okay. But like, but, like, his ability to counter, first of all, almost the entire fight was just striking and very few kicks thrown. And it was this, like, impeccable timing encounters that he was doing. And Roy Vol's long, kind of tall for the division. Like, quick jab. But, like, what were you seeing with this Van kid? Like, what?
Dane Cook
That's why I can't wait to watch it back. Like, strategically. Yeah, well, yeah, just watch it on like a tv, you know, and they'll give you all the better camera angles. But exactly what you were saying. Just Revan, especially early, he was like, oh, yeah, he was just waiting. He's patient. And Roy Var was using that jab, doing that very nicely. And they're just waiting for the right time to. To. To go or when he did decide to go first, he was really good at still bridging the gap. As you were saying, he is short, but he knows he understands the distance. If he wants to jab his way in or when he wants to commit, he does the work for me. When he comes in, I'm going to make him pay. And he's quick. He can just do it like mid, mid combo. The guy's fine. He's just going boom, boom, free piece, like, halfway through.
Akash Singh
Great balance.
Dane Cook
Oh, mate, it's incredible. And then even his. When he chose to go forward or go first, he did a great job of even bridging the gap to, you.
Akash Singh
Know, what was he doing to close.
Dane Cook
The gap rather than me just stepping with.
Akash Singh
As you.
Dane Cook
You did a bit of boxing back foot and you're just sort of stepping that front foot in. Yeah, bridging's gonna be more of A leap. You're gonna leap everything. So your whole base has to go further. Yeah. I'm that little bit further back. So just me stepping with a normal jab is going to pull short.
Akash Singh
Yeah.
Dane Cook
But you bridge the gap, we call it. So that's. You literally bridge your whole body. Both. Both feet you're stepping in. Yes. Yeah. So both feet end up getting right where you want to be. So you can fire the big shots as well. So this was always well balanced, like you said.
Akash Singh
Just. It was so. It was so, like, so much fun to watch. The guy's on three weeks notice, Right. He had a big fight three weeks ago, won it in spectacular fashion, and then I think he, like, broke his toe. Nobody said anything about it, which I like. I know all you guys fight injured, so it is what it. But it is cool after the fact. Like when someone wins to acknowledge injuries. Yeah. But a thing I've noticed that's different, obviously, from mma and boxing is like, boxing is closer because you don't have to worry about the legs. Right. So the fight is a little bit closer. Like MMAs, there's a little bit more distance. So when you are bridging the gap, like you said, when you. You're committing, you're really putting yourself in the lion's den, which you have to do because everybody you fight is six feet tall.
Dane Cook
Exactly.
Akash Singh
But, like, so when I'm watching, when I was watching these guys, like, manage that distance, I saw something. I. I thought it was really cool. You know, a lot of times in boxing you'll see like a pull counter. Like, Floyd was magnificent at this. Right. Like a jab comes in, you'll embrace the jab. You'll even kind of step back a little. Not even set back, but like lean back and then throw the right on top. It looked like Van was moving into the jab.
Dane Cook
Yep.
Akash Singh
Like, he wasn't even stepping back. And I, I imagine, like, in your career, you've had to kind of submit to that situation as well, where it's like the only way you're closing that gap is if you're moving into the punch that's coming at you.
Dane Cook
Yeah. Well, it depends on who you got. Like, you. You were just saying with him, he did a great job of still being in a position where he could, you know, hope that jab misses or whatever it is. But you're right, he would usually throw. I think from what I remember, it was like a H. Yeah. As he was from the jet. Boom, boom. And then just to be like a free piece as he was coming in, which was pretty impressive to land a hook in that sort of, you know, where. Where he was positioned. But with myself, like, with the last.
Akash Singh
You're making money, bro. I saw that money. Okay, okay. I thought you had the reserve meal. Okay.
Dane Cook
But for. For me, like, with the last one, I had a deal. Diego Lopez, who's very similar, where he won't, like, he won't even try and dodge your. Your punch, and he's swinging, he's stepping. If most people don't want to counter, they're going to try and slip the punch and fire at the same time, if that makes sense. Where he was just. I'm just gonna. As soon as you go. I'm just all offense. I don't care about defense one bit, which makes them dangerous, but obviously they can be hit. Everybody had a good chin where I just felt like Joshua Van did a job. Great, great job of, you know, just waiting for Tuli. Roy Val.
Akash Singh
Yeah.
Dane Cook
Really committed and then was able to. To sort of counter. They weren't too far. Like when. When you were saying with the distance, I want to try not to get too technical.
Akash Singh
No. Be technical.
Dane Cook
Yeah. But with the range, sometimes the mma, they go that little bit further. Yeah. But because Roy Val likes the boxing, he was, like, trying to just stay just out of that boxing range, you know, and. But Joshua Van did a great job of just making. Making everything he threw count at the right time, and then it would look like the round was getting away from him, and then he. And then it would just go, blah, blah, blah, blah, and just finish it.
Akash Singh
At the end of the third, like, almost finish them. Okay.
Dane Cook
And then you got to watch that fight anyway.
Akash Singh
Yeah, it's. It's. And then, of course, obviously, the tapuria, your boy. Have you. Have you watched. Do you watch those fights, like, when you get. What is that like for you? Like, when you. I don't even. I don't even know how to ask you these questions, like, when you get caught.
Dane Cook
Yeah.
Akash Singh
Like what. What is that? When you're rewatching it, can you watch. Can you separate yourself from it and just look at it technically and be like, oh, I shouldn't have been.
Dane Cook
Oh, yeah, definitely. That's. That's the only way I sort of look at it. Like, obviously understand Ilya's power, but with. With that fight you're talking about, or even with the Islam fight, the second one with the two knockouts, I just look at a, you know, man, like, you know, I should have done this, should have done that. They're pretty obvious to me anyway.
Akash Singh
So the second Islam fight, I feel like your hand's here and he like clips like the top. I'm not. He earned that position. He earned that knockout. But I, I, to me, that was like, I'm not, it's not luck at all. It's skill, etc. But I would say positioning wise, it's not like you were like grotesquely out of position in that moment that you got caught.
Dane Cook
Well, no, exactly. Well, the, the difference with the, that fight and the, the first fight, like, I will try and like, I also been a bit more clever when I wanted to get into range and, you know, I didn't want to just walk.
Akash Singh
Forward on first fight or second.
Dane Cook
First fight. The second fight. You know, short notice. Very, very short notice. So I was like, all right, I can't just sit back and, you know, sort of just wait around and win rounds. I don't, you know, I'm not going to win five rounds against Islam right now. I didn't back myself because I didn't have the camp. It was 11 days. So I'm like.
Akash Singh
Well, you're saying cardio wise.
Dane Cook
Cardio wise. I'm like, I'm not, you know, I'm not going to win a 5 decision against Islam. Well, the chances are a lot slimmer because I'm not going to be as fit as.
Akash Singh
So you were looking to get them out of there.
Dane Cook
So that's what I wanted. So I was like, all right, I'm going to press. That's why I'm going to come range. So means I'm going to be in range to be hit more. Yeah, I, I knew that he would be kicking. I knew that he would spam the, the kicks, especially because I was going to come forward like that. And even when he was kicking, I knew he was going to still go up. You're right. Like, so I knew that was going to come, but it was just what I hated about that is because I told myself, and this is, I guess, how I am and I guess you need this sort of mindset and be able to do this. Like, whatever decision I make, that's it. I'm locking. I'm going to, you know, I'm going.
Akash Singh
To, I'm committing to that. Yeah.
Dane Cook
And I'm going to tell myself and I'm going to believe it and I'm going to be delusional in a sense. Well, that's all right. I could be. This is going to be the most dangerous I've ever been because I'm Going out there to take his head off. You know, haven't had a camp. You know, I reckon this makes me more dangerous. And I believed it.
Akash Singh
Yeah.
Dane Cook
And then I go out there, I couldn't even pull the trigger. And when I say, oh, I couldn't pull the trigger. Right. I'm like sitting there and I'm like. Makes sense, right? You didn't have it like much of a camp. Barely any sparring.
Akash Singh
Yeah.
Dane Cook
You know, and then you. So your timing's just not going to be there. So I wanted to be like, I'm going to be in his face and then just let the hands go and I'll catch him. So while I was there, there and then, I just could not let him go. So here I am. I just felt like I'm just standing in front of him waiting for something to happen. Right. So yeah, just. And then he was going body. I'm like even telling myself he's going to go high. He's going to go high.
Akash Singh
Wait for it.
Dane Cook
And then still just next minute I'm like, ah. You know, like I was still. It's weird because I was gone but knew exactly what was happening. If that.
Akash Singh
Did you have. Did you have the vision wobble?
Dane Cook
No, no, not really. It was like. I don't know if it sort of went dark and then it was a loud noise. I. I remember just like. Like this weird noise like that. And I remember. It's hard to explain. But then I've known. Oh no, I'm rocked. Like I remember. I'm like, no, no, no. Try and survive. Survive. Next minute I'm on the ground. Like, try and survive. I don't think my body was doing what I wanted to do. Yeah. I'm just wobbling around.
Akash Singh
But it's.
Dane Cook
But yeah, that's. That's the game we play.
Akash Singh
Yeah.
Dane Cook
You know, and then. All right, I'm getting real technical today. And I. But with the. The fight. Yeah. Topuria fight. I. Yeah. You know, come. It was a quick turnaround. You know. I probably shouldn't have went into that fight so quick. You know, you start. That was a proper concussion after these lambo.
Akash Singh
Yeah. You got to take a little time.
Dane Cook
So that's already.
Akash Singh
Especially with a guy who can crack.
Dane Cook
Exactly. Right. So you're. You should be letting the head rest. And not only that, even me trying to get back in trouble. We did everything right. Like in a sense where we made sure everything but was like made sure. You know, we did the steps to move forward. But even when I first started getting back into Camp here I am watching. I need to be careful of getting caught. I don't want to get hit. So you're already going into camp. Bad habits.
Akash Singh
Yeah.
Dane Cook
And then a month or two later you're fighting someone and then you could even just see the way. The way I'm fighting. I just look back at that and be like, ah, yeah.
Akash Singh
It felt more. It felt more cautious, like you were in and out.
Dane Cook
I wanted to go and then I'd go on the. You know, it's like I have a go or don't go or if you're. If you're worried about it, shoot for the takedown. Then why are you like second guessing halfway through yourself in a worse position and be like, I better get the out of here.
Mark Gagnon
And what adjustments did you make in your next fight after Toria?
Dane Cook
Well, that's. Yeah. Good question. So luckily I drilled so much of.
Akash Singh
Because it's not like Diego Lopez doesn't hit hard.
Dane Cook
Yeah, man. And like we said, like, how he fires, right. He's just gonna sit on him. So a lot of good, like, drilling. We had to do like, really good drilling. So I was lucky to enough to have the team that I did around me for.
Mark Gagnon
Take extra time off this time to make sure you're not in that mentality.
Dane Cook
I had a massive break, biggest break I've ever had. You know, took that real serious and then had a massive camp. So I did a. You know, went above and beyond. Usually everyone knows I train hard. You know, that's always going to be the case. But this time, even with my diet, I didn't have a cheat meal for like 16 weeks.
Akash Singh
Wow.
Dane Cook
I didn't have a drop of alcohol for the 16 weeks.
Andrew Schulz
No bubbler.
Dane Cook
No bubblers, no bubblers. That's for probably 16 weeks. But still remember that one.
Akash Singh
Never fair enough.
Dane Cook
But yeah, so it was. It was just. Yeah, we did everything. Went above and beyond for. For that one. And, you know, we're well. But with him, you had to.
Akash Singh
He's got a great short. It's a. It's like a right hook. The punch that he caught Charles with, I think you.
Dane Cook
By Ilia.
Akash Singh
Ilia.
Dane Cook
Ilia. Sorry.
Akash Singh
Y. It's like this. He steps in with it. It's like he doesn't even throw like a long, extended jab. It's almost like a fake left hand.
Dane Cook
But.
Akash Singh
But he sits down. But what's interesting is that in. In one of the first exchanges with Charles and him, Charles threw like a kind of long, straight right hand that beat Ilia's Right hook.
Dane Cook
Okay.
Akash Singh
Yep. And it, it looked like it kind of landed. It didn't like hurt him. But in the exchange where Charles gets knocked out, he throws the same punch and it just misses.
Dane Cook
Oh, okay. Yep.
Akash Singh
But it was interesting. I wonder if people watch that. Like, I think, I think Ilya is phenomenal, but I wonder if there are people that watch that who are taller that it. Because now he's going to be fighting taller guys who go up and weight like we're talking about ten pound difference. That's like, that could be six inches. You know, I wonder if there are people that see that and go. I might be able to catch him coming in. The cost of not catching him coming in is, is lights out. But I mean, yeah, you, you got to punish him for coming in or else he'll just keep walking straight.
Dane Cook
Right, Exactly. Right. Well, that makes sense. But then again, you're playing into his world as well. But that's, you know, he's going to find he's going to counter, so obviously he can get caught.
Akash Singh
Yeah.
Dane Cook
But with Charles, I just thought he probably had more other ways of winning. He probably should have avoided the, the crash. Right. You know, and he just did. And he just decided to crash. And I knew that. That's why I picked a, like a first round finish.
Akash Singh
Oh, really? Yeah.
Dane Cook
Yeah. I thought Ilya was going to knock him out. I don't know if you noticed though, in this, in the fight, like what he did great was he ended up pulling Charles into, into no on that went up when he was going to jab. Charles would want to follow up. So he jabs through the body and then Charles didn't end up following, but then he ends up jabbing again. Goes high and then he shifts. I don't know if you watch it back and you'll see him shift actually to his left.
Akash Singh
So off the center line.
Dane Cook
Off center. He shifts to his left. But he jab shifts knowing. And as soon as he come knowing that he was going to at least step and maybe fire. Even if he didn't step and fire, he was always stepping back into that range because he went back and then. And Charles wanted to be back here and.
Akash Singh
Yeah.
Dane Cook
And just use that to, to come straight, straight in.
Akash Singh
And now Charles, Charles is a very like back and forth straight. He's not really hitting with angles.
Dane Cook
And you know, you said that the right miss could have been that shift. Now he's just circled Charles more into his own right hand.
Akash Singh
Oh, there it is.
Dane Cook
Yeah. You know what I mean? And then is that what it is. And then goes in and then just dip that little bit. So if he went in a straight line, probably could have still slipped and maybe missed. But shifting off, as he wanted to step into that right line, he stepped into Charles, I mean, or Ilya's right hand. So if you watch him, watch him when he shift, he even shifts.
Akash Singh
So he's moving Charles off center while.
Dane Cook
He does as he shifted, knowing that he was going to follow.
Akash Singh
So whatever.
Dane Cook
He did that on purpose. I don't know. But yeah, but it seems like it was pretty strategic, even the way he didn't just shift back. You see him shift off center. Yeah. Like, so usually it's easy to shift to your right a little bit harder to shift to your left.
Akash Singh
Yeah. It's like in boxing, the guys who are great body punchers, there's a guy named Miguel Cotto. Do you remember Miguel? He had. He had a really strong jab, but then he would shift and put his weight over his left foot and then just rip those body punches. And I think the concern in mma, I would imagine, is like shifting left, there's a foot or a shin that's going to come right to the top of your head. Potentially in boxing, when you shift over, there's not much that can hit you. Yeah, like maybe an uppercut can be under. But like, if I'm. If I'm. I'm this way. And you're a conventional fighter, what do you throw? Like a knee or something?
Dane Cook
So if you keep dipping that way, you're saying if I.
Akash Singh
If I dip this way.
Dane Cook
Yeah.
Akash Singh
And you're conventional, you're fighting orthodox. That fucking.
Dane Cook
Yeah.
Akash Singh
Game over.
Dane Cook
Yeah.
Akash Singh
So it's like, it's a risky move too.
Dane Cook
Yeah. So with the Schiffler, I mean, she like sort of shifted back out of range, but out. So not really with the slip. He ended up slipping with the punch. When he decided to throw the. The two.
Akash Singh
Yeah.
Dane Cook
By now going to get real technical. All right. So when he even see you even shifts off center, the only thing is when you shift to your left, he.
Mark Gagnon
Shift and then stand if you want.
Akash Singh
Yeah, sure, I'm going to stand.
Dane Cook
Is that all right? Still in.
Akash Singh
So, Charles.
Dane Cook
So, yeah, so he sort of. When he went. He's went here, shifted back, and then he sort of went bang. And then he sort of shifted here. But now look at armside.
Akash Singh
If I walk straight. Yeah, but you're.
Dane Cook
But I'm off center here.
Akash Singh
If you notice, there's nothing I can throw at you.
Dane Cook
Yeah, but I even. I feel like off here. But you notice he shifts back, and then as soon as he comes in, he goes boom. And even shifts his hip straight in. So he shifts. He shifts back and then just goes boom.
Akash Singh
So now you're walking straight into the right, and you don't have anything with power to kind of. I guess I'm like reaching over.
Dane Cook
Yeah. So you got an angle and then again. I pulled you.
Akash Singh
Yeah, there you go.
Dane Cook
He's pulled that way. Are you fixing that? Sorry.
Akash Singh
Here.
Dane Cook
Yeah, yeah. So he's pulled. He's shifted this way. But again, fire. Firing from here across your body would have been hard. So even shifted. And as soon as he went. He just went bang.
Akash Singh
And then I'm.
Dane Cook
He's even shifted his. Yeah, you know, he slipped his head with that left foot.
Akash Singh
So what's the strategy against a guy like that?
Dane Cook
Makes sense. Hopefully that makes sense. Watch it anyway. It makes sense.
Akash Singh
Tell us. So what's the strategy against a guy like Ilya? Let's say you guys run it back again.
Dane Cook
Wrestle the bloke, mate, you got to get him down. That's what you want. You want to see what he's. What's going to happen with his gas tank. So even with Ilia, great fighter. Like, a lot of the things he does, like, I'm sure a lot of it's world trained. And then he's got so many good instincts as well. Like, even him just shifting that way, he's probably trained for that. But then just as soon as he wanted to square his hips up with the right hand, the power was there and put him in a safer position while he was following, too. So just little things like that he probably trains for, or it's just great instincts. But, yeah, he's a. We want to see the gas. Gas tank, see. See what happens with it. Because I thought Charles, when he was taking him down and forcing the sort of wrestle and the grapple, I felt like it was starting to wear on him a little bit. So even when he sort of ended up on top, when they grapple you, I don't know if you remember, Ilya gets up and then. Well, maybe he was just staying up and there was kicking him. Didn't let him up. He waited. He waited. I'm gonna wait 30 seconds, kick his legs.
Akash Singh
Interesting.
Dane Cook
Get my breath back. Because, you know, they probably took a little bit out of him, which I thought was clever. And then. Then the. The ref stood him up, and then he's like, all right, back to it.
Akash Singh
So now you get a little break. So you. You would Attack the gas tank. And you do that by, like, grappling cardio, like, because that's a different.
Dane Cook
I guess you would have to sound like, again, like, when you're. You. You're right.
Akash Singh
You.
Dane Cook
You want to catch him coming in because he. He wants to commit as well. Yeah, but there's that danger of him landing as well, you know, with Charles, you know, he should have known that. All right, this guy's just gonna try and take my head off. I've got world class jiu jitsu, and. And Charles is pretty strong. He's improved his wrestling as well. I might take it there, you know, take him in the championship rounds if I have to, or I finish him early.
Akash Singh
I feel like a lot of these guys, though, it's like you've had so much success, and maybe you felt this, too. Like, you have so much success throughout your career doing something, and it's very hard to make that change because it might chip away at your confidence, you know? Like, I give a lot of credit to Ankala. Like, when Ankle IV fought Pereira, I think all of us were going, there's no way he's actually going to bang with this guy. And then he outstruck him. So, like, I imagine if you're Charles, you're like, I'm one of the best fighters in the world. Like, why would I change what I do? For a guy who's comfortable coming up ten pounds, you know, does that chip away your confidence at all when you go, I have to not do what I normally do against this guy?
Dane Cook
Depends on the. On the fighter, I guess. And, yeah, you're right. It seemed like he's not. I'm going to press him, and I'm going to show the weight, you know, I mean, but then I just thought that's what I thought was going to happen. That's why I thought Eli was going to knock him out.
Akash Singh
Yeah.
Dane Cook
And that's it. Because he's not so defensive. He's, you know, he's all offense, Charles, so he's easy.
Akash Singh
You already know what time it is. You see the lighting. If you're new over here, get ready, buckle up. Let me tell you something, okay? Boners are not just about performance, okay? It's about legacy. Third leg, see? Give her something she will remember. Give her group chat, something to talk about. Okay? You know, when you lay it down, they're talking about how, you know, oh, oh, it was a noodle or whatever. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's a nuke. It's a nuke.
Andrew Schulz
Yes. Don't make history, dude. Make her burstery. I thought that was it.
Mark Gagnon
If you don't want to disappoint your partner like Mark just disappointed all of us.
Akash Singh
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Dane Cook
Who do I want?
Akash Singh
Yeah. Next. Who do you want next, bro?
Dane Cook
Well, it's. It's a weird one, right? Because I've got a few guys, you got some exciting guys that don't really deserve, and then you've got a guy that.
Akash Singh
What about Barney Blue? What about that?
Dane Cook
She's doing some rounds, isn't she, man?
Mark Gagnon
Gas tanks.
Dane Cook
All the rounds on social media and doing the rounds in the bedroom.
Akash Singh
Yeah, that might be a good. That might be a good match. That's a money fight, though. Like, that's not for belt. It's not for anything. But if you were the guy that could take out Bonnie Blue, like a thousand have tried. Now, who do you want next?
Dane Cook
Who do I want next? All right, well, yeah, look, Mob Zar is probably the, the guy that I think deserves it, right? That's what I've always been about. I've always been about who deserves it.
Akash Singh
You know, I'm about you making money.
Dane Cook
Yeah, that's what I'm about. That makes sense.
Akash Singh
I see you with.
Dane Cook
The most of the time. Sometimes it's, it's, it's contract fights anyway.
Akash Singh
So they, they have a say and.
Dane Cook
Well, it's contracts. So did you get a piece of that?
Akash Singh
You get a piece of that pay per view?
Dane Cook
Pay per view, yeah, you're right. But yeah, let's. We'll get into that a little bit more. The pay per view system isn't as good as it used to be.
Akash Singh
Talk to me.
Dane Cook
Well, I can't give too much away with it.
Akash Singh
Give me an idea.
Dane Cook
I just mean it's just the, the way it works is just a little bit different now. That's why you, you're seeing the pay per views now. You know, they're starting to look like they're dropping drastically because it's just the way the system is. And there's still millions and millions of views, but you only get paid on certain pay per views. You know what I mean? It's so. It's a, it's a hard sort of way. Ash could explain a lot, a lot more. But you're not, you know, everyone's. When you see the pay per views buyers, you're only seeing only a couple of countries and, you know, it's only over $40 as well. Like, they're the only pay per views not including your. Or say in England, it's a subscription base. So, you know, they've got their, you know, so you're not including any of those. There's only like, I think three or.
Akash Singh
Four countries that contribute to the actual paper.
Mark Gagnon
How does that change for you financially? Like, are you like, I can still make as much as I could before? Or can you not make quite as much as you could before?
Dane Cook
Well, I mean, you can still make money. Like, I get the right fights. It's just very hard. And if you've got a Conor McGregor on the card or somewhere, Jon Jones, I'm like, all right, now you can really, really make some. You know, they can tie up some of that money compared to what you fighting for. But, but it's just, it's, it's pretty hard. So even now, good cards, like the pay per views that you're seeing, good cards at like 300, 400, that's considered really good now.
Akash Singh
Really?
Dane Cook
Yeah.
Akash Singh
Where when you say 300, 400, you mean 300, 400,000 buys.
Dane Cook
Yes, yes.
Akash Singh
Whereas like the huge, monumental fights might have been at a million.
Dane Cook
Exactly. So it's, it's harder. I don't know. Again, I don't. I probably shouldn't be talking about this because I don't know enough about it, but it's just not sort of how it used used to be. Now we've all done different, like, deals, like, you know, like TV rights deals and all that. I think it's just, it's a little bit different. And now again, you've probably got all the streamings and all that as well. Right. So, you know, I don't think everyone. The only way to watch it is to buy a pay per view. There's other ways people are probably trying to watch it too. Right. So there's a lot of things that factor into it nowadays. But.
Akash Singh
But yeah, yeah, it's tricky because, I don't know, I've heard some people say that. What? I've heard some people say, like, currently the UFC as like a star problem. Like, they don't have like as many stars as they did. I think that what people need to understand is that, like, this happens in all fight sports, even the ones that are predetermined. Like it happened in wrestling. Like, you go through ebbs and flows.
Mark Gagnon
Even non fight sports. When Jordan retired, there was a ratings drop. We didn't have a Jordan yet. Then we got Kobe, then we got LeBron. When LeBron's gone, same thing.
Akash Singh
So, you know, it's not like, oh, my God, is the UFC over? It's like, no, no, no. What's going to happen is we had a time where there's you, there's Izzy, Jon Jones, like there was like a, a five, six year period where it was like every division had multiple the Diaz brothers. It's like multiple guys that you needed to watch. And now some of you guys are getting up there, some people are retiring, some people are losing some fights, and a new crop needs to come up.
Dane Cook
Yeah.
Akash Singh
And you refuse to let that happen in your division. You know, there's this guy with his beautiful ha. Haircut and a great backstory, and you're like, I'm not out yet, so I'll just take the Gol back to Australia.
Dane Cook
Great story. But my story still going.
Akash Singh
They had this guy's story. So downtown I'm watching this thing. I'm getting emotional. I see you coming out. I'm like, now B's not giving it to him today.
Dane Cook
I'm almost 40. But you ain't having it yet. You know what I mean? Now it's a. There is a lot. A lot of people. Like, you're right, though. Exactly what you said. Like, that's just how. How it sort of goes. But there is so many good fighters coming through. Like, I've. I'm watching, like, even Joshua Van, another good example. But I mean, even my division, you got what you've got. Pico, that's just come in. Obviously, if he has a couple. He has a couple of, like, really good boxing and wrestling background. So that'll be interesting to see. I haven't watched enough of him, but it will be interesting to see how he goes. But then you have. Oh, I'm at a brain fart now. The.
Akash Singh
This is.
Dane Cook
This is the fighting. Fighting nerds.
Akash Singh
Oh, oh, oh, okay.
Dane Cook
Featherweight.
Akash Singh
Yes, yes, yes. You guys did a face off recently. Not Kyle Kyo. Sila Silva, he's phenomenal.
Dane Cook
And he's a great fighter. Great fighter. You got a lot of them actually coming, so I don't think it's too long till you get a lot of names there. Exactly.
Akash Singh
The next generation, they might still go on.
Dane Cook
Not letting them in. Or am I. Am I done by then? We'll see. But I don't think it's too far away where you're going to start to see this new school. I mean, the fighting nerds. Even Rafi. And that as well. Have you watched Rafi?
Akash Singh
Yeah. Phenomenal. Yeah, amazing.
Dane Cook
Watch his training footage in that as well. You. It's.
Akash Singh
Watch his latest knockout.
Dane Cook
Oh, Ev. Yeah, yeah. Watch his fight.
Akash Singh
Sorry.
Dane Cook
It's.
Akash Singh
There's a lot of good guys coming out. Another thing that's interesting with. With fighting specifically, though, is that fighters, the fighters that I think that we've gravitated to throughout history are the ones where you don't know the next thing that's going to come out of their mouth. Right? Like Tyson, Mike Tyson just going like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna eat your kids. I'm gonna. You till you love me. Like. Like there. The reason why Tyson can have a podcast, can do whatever he wants, is because we never know the next thing he's gonna say. And so there's like, there's heels, as you would have in wrestling. And there's like baby faces like you, the good guys that we all root for. Have you heard that wrestling term, baby face?
Dane Cook
That means like a good guy. Good guy.
Akash Singh
Like, you know, like you're the guy that, that you know, we root for. You're the guy. It's like, wait a minute, he's. He's not even close to as tall as that guy. How the fuck is he going to be? And then you fucking do it, right? And you're. You remind us weirdly, you shouldn't at all because you're a professional athlete before this. But like, I think you remind us a little bit of ourselves. You're like, holy shit. Like, he's going up against all odds. You know that first fight with Mox, you're like, how the did this happen? Right? So we need that. But you also need the Diaz brothers. You need Nate to just go out there and say crazy. You need Conor to rile shit up. And I think one thing that people might say about like the Dagestanis is as prolific as they are, they're so disciplined in like the press conference, they're not really saying anything that's going to make you go. They're not going to say, I'm going to eat your kids. You know, they're going to be like, I respect him, he's a very nice person. Everything's good, you know. Whereas Connor's going to go, hey, your wife's a towel, mate. He's just gonna. So it's like, I think we might need those. Like a Strickland, for example, like fills that void a bit. Like he's gonna say wild stuff. And because of that, people are gonna either wanna see him win or lose, but they're gonna pay the price of admission.
Dane Cook
Yeah.
Akash Singh
So maybe there's a version of that.
Dane Cook
And it goes back to sort of what you were saying with the stars and non stars. Could you imagine if everyone tried to do that?
Akash Singh
It'd be exhausting.
Dane Cook
You need to have a mouth you don't have and then someone comes through. And then like Ilya started, started doing a bit of the trash. He's actually a very respectful guy.
Akash Singh
Okay.
Dane Cook
Now I don't think he needs to do it. So like now he probably. You'll see him pull back from the, the trash talk because he's already a star and he's actually a really, really good dude. So you probably won't see that. But I mean, when you've got someone talking trash like that and the full of confidence and get knockouts you know, they just blow up. Conor McGregor, right?
Akash Singh
Yeah. So.
Dane Cook
And. But when you see people, it's so forced and it's just. You just sit there. Oh, man. And then everyone hates it. A lot of people hate, hate it. So I guess. But in saying that even though they hate it, they want to see him lose. And I guess that's still got people watching. So it's still. But I mean, imagine if everyone was doing it exhausting. So I mean, I'm glad that it's. You sort of go through stages because when someone does come, they really do, you know, you really do come. I'll just think of Bonnie Blue. As soon as. I'll say I'll be. I'll beat them to it. Maybe they'll be. But yeah, so.
Akash Singh
So what happens with. Yeah, that is interesting. You know, we're kind of done with the Conor era. Everybody was calling him out as the money fight and obviously it's going to, you know, change your life. But I think now we've all realized that he's. He's moving on, you know, and the sport is going to have to. It's no longer. I'm going to call out Conor, I'm going to make that happen. Do you feel that?
Dane Cook
Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah. No one's even. Yeah, you're right. I don't think you're going to hear the call outs. And do we still see him again?
Akash Singh
What's the big money fight? Because it used to be Izzy, right? It's like everybody would call Izzy because, you know, if you're fighting Izzy, you're gonna make that money. And you know, obviously Izzy's had an unfortunate last few fights and. But like, who is the person that you call out now? Like not even you. Like, who is the guy. John's out. Like, we need to figure out who that.
Dane Cook
I mean, you could say Ilya would.
Akash Singh
Be that it's gotta be Ilia, right? Yeah.
Dane Cook
So Ilia's right up there now. You know, you still got your mate. You got Max Holloway, I love and Dustin.
Akash Singh
That's gonna be.
Dane Cook
They're about a fight. Obviously you got Gai in that as well.
Akash Singh
That.
Dane Cook
But I mean if Max wins, does that put him back at top? Could you imagine rematch at lightweight? I think that's a, that's a.
Akash Singh
Between Max and Ilia and lightweight.
Dane Cook
So that, that'll be a massive fight. But again you're going to get. I think the guys would be someone like an Ilia because he's a champ. I guess so, you know, gives you a Reason to. But then you probably got guys that be like, yeah, fuck that. I don't know if I want to fight him. You know what I mean? Like, maybe you've got guys that, me, I'll fight anybody we know. Yeah, exactly. That's how I am. But not everyone's like that.
Akash Singh
When you say that Ilya is a nice guy, after you fight somebody, and I'm talking about guys that you've. That you've beaten as well, is there like a. Do you guys talk like you had this interesting thing with Ill Islam where like, it seemed like you guys had a kind of like, cool relationship? Like your, Your daughter says, like this, this great thing, you could, you could.
Dane Cook
Say, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's. Yeah, that was a funny story as well. But, yeah, I get along with everyone. But yeah, there was. That's how we started sort of chatting always good. Like, after the fight, we ended up having, like, we were at the same cafe, I think it was set up for the photo. Good marketing on their part because then, yeah, that ended up going a bit viral, that photo. But yeah, so there was funny because I'll tell you the story then with Ariana, you know, kids, you know, when they're trying to go to go to sleep, they start on. Either go to the toilet and, you know, they start carrying on and then you're just like, look, just go to sleep, you know, it's bedtime. Oh, I'm scared. I'm like, what are you scared of, darling? Or what if someone breaks in? I'm going, no one's going to break in. And like, oh, what if someone breaks through the window? And then I'm like at a stage where I'm like, I get a bit cocky, sort of. I'm like, alan, yeah, I'm a UFC world champion. Yeah, if someone breaks in, I think I'll sort it out. She goes, what if it was Islam? And I'm just like, oh, whatever, just cracked up. But he got wind of it and then he ended up going, oh, you know, I'd never come to the house, you know, uninvited. And then gave him dolls. Now the girls absolutely love him, you know, give you. That's what. That's.
Akash Singh
It's almost worse.
Dane Cook
Yeah, but with Ilya, so my, my, she's a hater. My, My oldest, Ariana.
Akash Singh
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dane Cook
Like with Ilya, I'm like, I'm darling. Like, she. Stuff like, I guess, you know, for losing. I'm like, I bet you if he buys you a doll, best friends again, you know, What? I mean, but I think she's growing on him now. But, like, she'll get like that. Obviously loves her daddy, you know?
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, yeah.
Dane Cook
And he took daddy's belt, so that's how she looks at it. So she's a little bit more. But now I've got it back. I think she's sort of easing up on him.
Akash Singh
But you guys, you guys have spoken afterwards, you say he's a respectful guy. Like, so.
Dane Cook
Yeah, yeah, so, yeah, yeah, man. Like, we were even chatting a bit before. It obviously was saying things and we're like, oh, yeah, cool. And you'll be surprised, man. Some people still go, look, you know, all respect. Things might be said, but nothing but respect, you know, so that's sort of how it's going to go a lot of the time. And yeah, as we're going, you know, the camera's rolling, you're still, you know, saying your things, but shaking hands, all respect. And then after the fight, man, like, it's just nothing but respect, really. He's actually area, him and his brother, really, really respectful dude. So, yeah, and yeah, again, I'm a nice guy, so I'll do that. And then still fight everybody loves.
Akash Singh
Yeah, that's it.
Dane Cook
So this is sort of where we're at. That's probably not good because, you know, if I ever do get a chance to run a safe wall. Yeah, if we. If we. If I, like, win, because I obviously want to earn my shot at the title, right. A lightweight for me to go up. So if I get a chance, it's at a position now where he's all like, man, I like him too much. I don't want to fight now. I probably won't be able to fight.
Akash Singh
You know, or maybe that's what you do.
Dane Cook
Or maybe strategic.
Akash Singh
You reckon?
Mark Gagnon
You know.
Dane Cook
Strategic one, but, you know, I guess, yeah, I don't know. It's a. It's a tricky one. But at the same time, I don't know if that's every time.
Akash Singh
Every time one of your opponents thinks that you're playing mind games by being, like, a nice guy, I just want to remind them that you used to drink your own pee on Mondays.
Dane Cook
Yeah.
Akash Singh
So it's not.
Dane Cook
That wasn't me that did that.
Andrew Schulz
Now it's not you.
Akash Singh
I saw it happen.
Mark Gagnon
He never did one.
Dane Cook
Oh, man, I could tell you so many stories. I won't because Indians are going to attach them.
Andrew Schulz
Last manic Monday. When was that, huh?
Dane Cook
Monday.
Andrew Schulz
For a mad Monday.
Dane Cook
It's probably a good thing. You know what I Mean, like, that's.
Akash Singh
When you are UFC guys. Like, not even close to as big partiers as the rugby guys.
Dane Cook
Yeah, it's probably not as close.
Akash Singh
Was it Ozzy?
Dane Cook
Obviously, you know, you know, what is it? Train hard, play hard, you know, you're going to still get that. But it's just a whole nother level sometimes with rugby league and the football, I guess the team sports. I know there's all team sports like that. I think there's no. Yeah, like it would be.
Akash Singh
There's nothing. It's like it simulates almost war in that. Like we accomplish this thing together and now, you know, to the victor go the spoils. And for you guys, spoils are pee all over you. And most of us, I think, just drink. Right? Like when we accomplish something good. Yeah, we'll have like some drinks or whatever.
Dane Cook
We just do that now, you know.
Akash Singh
Did you have any of your buddies go, why? Did you share that with the world?
Dane Cook
Like, nah, because I didn't single anyone out, so it's all right, you know.
Akash Singh
Well, there's always an opportunity now if you want.
Dane Cook
They're like, on that. They just said it was you, so it's all good.
Andrew Schulz
That's why he doesn't need Bonnie Blue, dude, he's got his own mouth. Right.
Akash Singh
That's what you need. Okay. Who do. So you said you want evidence. Luev next.
Dane Cook
I just think, look, man, he's fighting Pico. Yeah, that's a. So we've got a couple of big fights. Diego's fighting Silva. So a couple of.
Akash Singh
Is that 100, Gary?
Dane Cook
That's already locked in for September.
Akash Singh
I thought that they were going to make. Who's the guy who does taekwondo? I'm so.
Dane Cook
Yeah, yeah.
Akash Singh
Yair. I thought that they were going to do Yair.
Dane Cook
That's who they wanted me to. That sort of seemed like who I was going to fight. Like, because of the Mexico card. It was meant to be pay per view, but then the stadium, they had a. Like something fell through. The stadium wasn't going to be ready. So they. It's not a pay per view anymore.
Akash Singh
Yeah.
Dane Cook
So now it's a fight night. So they've sort of just said, we don't know. They haven't pushed. Yeah. Now me, I'll fight anyone like how I always am. And that's what they were sort of mentioned and obviously was doing the rounds.
Akash Singh
What about you versus Merab?
Dane Cook
Merab. I mean, look, again, I'd fight anybody.
Akash Singh
I know you would.
Dane Cook
He's. We get along really well again and.
Akash Singh
I Can imagine you and him. We got to get both of you in a pod, because the two of you together, I think would be manic Monday.
Dane Cook
Oh, yeah, man, He's. Oh, he's hilarious.
Akash Singh
He's a fun guy.
Dane Cook
He's full of energy, man. He's just. He's a ball of energy. But he's. He's good, dude. Really, really good dude. I mean, he's in a position where, you know, he's had a few defenses. He probably could move up soon, right? It'd be fair. But at the same time, he just said he's like, oh, no, I'll never fight Volk anyway.
Akash Singh
Really?
Dane Cook
Yeah, he said that. So I'm like. And he said that good, because I love the guy as well. So. Yeah, yeah, even though you have to do. You have to do it. Yeah, but.
Akash Singh
But him and Aljo were teammates, obviously, but they also said that they would never fight each other. I think there is a kind of like, bond with friends.
Dane Cook
I mean, you got to respect that as well. Like, you know, they were pressured a lot to. To fight, and they end up, you know, just in, you know, sort of just didn't fall into it. Aljamain even moved up a division, like to let him have his go or he was even going to do that even while he was champion. So he was gonna. I think he was gonna beat. If he beat Sean, he was gonna think he was gonna let vacate. So when Murab. I mean, you've got to respect that in a sense, because you are going to be talked into things sometimes. And if you can stick to your guns and look how much has paid off for Merab. Yeah, maybe not so much. Aljamain, like, you know, it's. You know, he's been up for you, which he's a cool dude as well. But Maraba, I just love seeing, like you said, good guys do well, do well. And then now he's starting to get his flowers as well. You know, everyone, like, loves he does his funny skits and that as well. He's a cool. He's full of energy, so there's plenty of content out there of him. And he's good fun. He's good dude.
Akash Singh
What about. Oh, me?
Dane Cook
I'm not making enemies with nobody.
Mark Gagnon
Who.
Dane Cook
Wants to take my bill. Nah, you're too nice, man.
Akash Singh
That's how you protect it, man.
Dane Cook
Yeah, there you go. I know, but then there's no paychecks, you know?
Akash Singh
Yeah, we need the paychecks. How many more paychecks you want?
Mark Gagnon
Like, that's A question. I've been trying to ask this.
Akash Singh
Sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Mark Gagnon
No, I've been wanting to know.
Dane Cook
I.
Akash Singh
Stop.
Dane Cook
Yeah. Look man, it's a, it's a tricky one, you know what I mean? It's a. It's something that you are gonna always think about. Like, you know, I'm not gonna lie to you and be like, oh, I got heaps more left in me. You know, it's. You know, it's. That's not the case.
Akash Singh
Yeah.
Dane Cook
You know, but I know it's not too far away where it probably, we probably will be hanging the, the gloves up. But I still got some fight left in me. So we'll do that. We'll see. We'll see the. Each fight as it goes.
Akash Singh
Three more. Two.
Dane Cook
I mean, I feel great in last camp. Last camp.
Akash Singh
Great. You look fantastic.
Dane Cook
Yeah, exactly, man. I really took it serious and I'll have to do a. I wouldn't do it as long. That was a long ass camp. But I would like to, you know, bring the weight down early. I felt that was a great idea for me to bring the weight down early. So I felt sharper early because again, if I went through camp A being a bit. Feeling a bit heavy and sluggish, you know, was that going to get me thinking like, oh man, I'm feeling old, man, like, you know what I mean? Was that going to happen? And I was glad I didn't do that or I felt light and mate. The first part of camp I was like doing really well, you know what I mean? I was like, man, we're in good nick right now. Like, this is good. So it got me in a good head space going through camp. So I felt great. So I'm like, oh, I've got a few left in me. So we'll see if that drastically changes next camp. All right, maybe we'll, we'll think about it being earlier, but I think you're.
Andrew Schulz
Slowly going to find a hobby. That's what's going to happen. Yeah, that's what's happening.
Akash Singh
Well, I'm already cooking.
Dane Cook
I mean cooking. We bump, you know, cooking.
Akash Singh
You don't bring anything, bro. You could have brought some biscuits or.
Dane Cook
Some shit, you know, we were thinking of. But you're dying.
Mark Gagnon
Oh, you gotta train him, dude.
Akash Singh
Hey, listen, we both got. I'm not breaking any news. I'm not breaking any news here. I'm not breaking any news. There's no broken news. I mean, you know, some people have speculated maybe you know, Volk would also be in Street Fighter. I don't know. Listen, obviously I'm not saying anything. Obviously. We would never say something like that on a podcast that's gonna go out to millions of people. We would never share that kind of information here because, you know, we have contracts with the studios. But listen, I told them. I told them I was. Listen, if you hire me for a movie, I'm gonna say something. Some. And you know, I probably should. Don't let there be some fake kisses on screen. What do you.
Mark Gagnon
Hypothetically. Who would you hypothetically play? Oh, yeah, hypothetical.
Akash Singh
I don't know.
Mark Gagnon
Who could.
Dane Cook
Who could I play? Who could we get short bolted, fella?
Akash Singh
Yeah.
Andrew Schulz
Let's get the cast.
Akash Singh
Let's get.
Andrew Schulz
Let's see some pictures of these street fighters, dude.
Akash Singh
Yeah. Joey, get some stuff up.
Dane Cook
That's all right. The movie, you can just make it look tall. Make you look, you know, make you look tall. Make you look like you've got, you know, nice blonde hair. Whatever it is, you know.
Akash Singh
He wants to be Gail. Huh?
Eddie
Gu.
Dane Cook
Yeah.
Akash Singh
Andrew Koji is. I've called Ryu Ryu my whole life. I'm not switching to Ryu. It's going to be Ryu.
Dane Cook
Are we going to.
Akash Singh
Apparently it's actually Ryu. Yeah, I'm. So I'm coming.
Dane Cook
Are you going to be saying a lot of that?
Akash Singh
Yeah, I'm going to say I'm going to. There's other things. I'll call him too.
Andrew Schulz
We got Roman Reigns.
Akash Singh
He's going to play Akuma.
Eddie
Oh, that's Fire.
Mark Gagnon
That makes sense. That's great.
Akash Singh
Keep going. Let me. Okay, we got Kalina Liang as Chun Li.
Andrew Schulz
Hell yeah.
Akash Singh
Jason Momoa is going to be Black Wonka.
Mark Gagnon
And that's great.
Akash Singh
Okay. And you know Orville Peek as Vega. This is Fire because he does wear a mask. Do you guys remember the Vega character? Yeah, so. But he actually does wear one. He's a country music superstar and so he's gonna play Vega. And why does he wear a mask? Say again?
Eddie
Why does he wear a mask?
Akash Singh
Covid. He just wears the top. Hunt. Yeah.
Andrew Schulz
He's a patriot.
Akash Singh
Yeah. Yeah. And then Noah Sentineo as Ken. None of us knew that Ken had a last name, so it's good to know that he's gonna be doing that.
Dane Cook
Oh, okay.
Akash Singh
Ken M. And then the boy 50 Cent is Ballrog.
Eddie
That really?
Akash Singh
They got 50 in Australia for two months.
Andrew Schulz
This how, you know, Street Fighter might be the best game ever, dude. It seems like they were just like, yo, you want to be a street Fighter? Everyone's like, yeah, dude.
Akash Singh
The second they said it. And I was like, yes. And they're like, well, you're going to play this character who's pretty much a joke and he's kind of weak and he was made just to make fun of another video game. Was trying to. What's it called? The Rip Off. And I was like, still, yes. That's actually anything lower the bar. Yeah. I basically play like Ken's manager.
Mark Gagnon
Oh, that's great.
Akash Singh
Hell, yeah. I'm like a scummy manager. That's great. I don't want to give too much away from me, but I will because I have a microphone on me. And there it is. So I'm going to play Dan Hibiki.
Andrew Schulz
So how are you training? What's. You got to be shredded, right?
Akash Singh
Yeah. So here's the thing. You tell me. This is, this is what I've. I.
Dane Cook
What do you need?
Akash Singh
I. I need peptides, steroids. I need to not cook with Volk for at least six weeks. I have four weeks to get in shape to play. A comedic character will never have his shirt off. But since everybody else, maybe Volk, look at what this guy looks like.
Dane Cook
Go to that image and that looks meant to be.
Eddie
And you got a.
Dane Cook
He had a.
Akash Singh
He had to lift the weights away. It's Pride month. So, yeah, I'm.
Andrew Schulz
I'm just.
Akash Singh
Pride month, right?
Mark Gagnon
That's fire, dude.
Eddie
That was a perfect diet.
Akash Singh
Great casting, right? Yeah, yeah, thank you.
Mark Gagnon
Get out there.
Akash Singh
10. Yeah. So this is what I'm thinking, okay. I don't think I could gain weight in, in six weeks, but I think that, like, I'm looking at like any movie character. And I was talking to some people. I was talking to Jordan Shaz, talking to Muscle Doc, and he's like, yo, Ryan Reynolds In Deadpool is 170 pounds.
Dane Cook
Okay.
Akash Singh
I think what happens in movies, like people like Brad Pitt and Fight Club was probably like £150. So people look muscular, they're just skinny.
Dane Cook
Probably just lean as well. Shading shadow. That's what I'm saying.
Akash Singh
Give me that 300. Shit.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah, yeah.
Akash Singh
Like, they were just putting. So I'm going to get skinny and try to look shredded and then let them, you know, Photoshop some pecs on me or whatever. But I'm going to do my best, like, going to, you know, I'm on a diet.
Mark Gagnon
Anavar.
Akash Singh
Yeah, yeah. Also steroids. You don't know anything about steroids. You're a clean athlete.
Dane Cook
That's why you started bringing up. I Was like, man, you're talking to the wrong guy about that. Yeah, but they got rid of diet. I can help you have a diet cooking with Vulcan. Help you with. I've seen losing weight. I can help you with.
Akash Singh
Yeah, you do lose weight.
Dane Cook
Putting on weight, not so good. I had to do it and it was. I had to eat like 4,5000 calories.
Akash Singh
When you were playing rugby?
Dane Cook
Well, no, when I tried. No, when I tried to fight Islam, I just.
Akash Singh
No.
Dane Cook
Put on weight. Obviously. Everything's natural. I don't know. I'm a major against. You can do it. I'm a. Look, if people want to do it in their own time, that's good. But when it comes to competing, if you want to do it for a movie scene, that's fine. But when it comes to compete, I'm major against it. I'm like a. I'm a big hater of it.
Akash Singh
I was worried about taking steroids because it could affect your sperm. And then I realized my sperm is already affected.
Eddie
Know what I mean?
Andrew Schulz
You should be glowing, dude. That's awesome.
Akash Singh
But then my wife was like, it will give us an unfair advantage in our fights. And then who's the. No, I'm gonna. I'm gonna.
Dane Cook
I'm with the. It's hard, man. Like, Z for what?
Akash Singh
You.
Eddie
You could be Z. I could see you playing.
Dane Cook
Yeah, that could be. Yeah, actually, you're right. He's got the.
Mark Gagnon
Be the hat on.
Dane Cook
I don't know if I'm big enough.
Akash Singh
Yeah. Who can play in Street Fighter? I know there's like. Like, dude, I've been pushing so hard for Volk for Street Fighter. I've been pushing so hard. You know what? I sent the producers. I sent the producers old Volk because I was like. I was like, listen, this guy can actually act, okay? Like, don't watch him in interviews at all. But if you give him a script and like. Because that shit was funny.
Mark Gagnon
Really funny.
Akash Singh
Like, you were actually acting.
Dane Cook
I actually really enjoy it.
Akash Singh
So I was like, you gotta watch this. Like, he can act. Like the fighting. He's gonn do better than everybody. That's what he does. But if you want someone who can actually, like, deliver lines in a funny way, Vul is there now. We're not saying he's in the movie at all. Obviously, you could ax him. You know, he's not gay, so he's not going to work out. You know, this is Hollywood at the end of the day. Yeah. So you need to be gay. I told him I'm gay. Yeah. Yeah, you know, that's what I said.
Andrew Schulz
And it works.
Akash Singh
Yeah. 50's black, so he's allowed to be.
Andrew Schulz
In the movie, but he's Aussie. I mean, that's like somewhere in between.
Akash Singh
Yeah, you're down under.
Dane Cook
There's a little bit UFC champ that maybe gets you. Does that help?
Akash Singh
Come on.
Andrew Schulz
That is hyper masculine.
Akash Singh
That's toxic.
Dane Cook
That's toxic.
Akash Singh
Is it toxic? It's toxic.
Andrew Schulz
No, no, no. You're beating the minorities. You can't do extremely. I mean, it's the least Edi thing ever.
Akash Singh
The movie is about beating up minorities. We can't have the white guys be too successful. It'll remind them of history. Yeah, but. But we're gonna. What we're gonna do is this. Yeah, we're just gonna see what happens. That's what we're gonna say.
Dane Cook
We'll see what happens.
Andrew Schulz
That is awesome.
Dane Cook
Wait, what's. What's up there? What's up there?
Akash Singh
I heard you were going to be a stunt double for Chun Li. Is that true?
Andrew Schulz
Oh, that could work.
Mark Gagnon
You could be Ed or Luke. Yo.
Akash Singh
Yeah, we can't. We can't. You know, we can't give away too much.
Andrew Schulz
The black guy's name is dj.
Akash Singh
I tried to get a dum and then they saw a picture of him without a shirt on.
Mark Gagnon
Ain't working. It ain't working. I tell you that, right? Maybe Samosa.
Akash Singh
They were like.
Dane Cook
I mean, this trip isn't going to be too good for me losing weight, eh? Cuz I'm like. I'm literally here just doing like a food champion. Yeah, just eat. Cooking.
Akash Singh
Where are you eating?
Dane Cook
Everywhere. Like we were. Yeah, like, you got to hit me.
Akash Singh
When you come to New York because I'm gonna obviously tell you where to go.
Dane Cook
Everything's last minute with us anyway, you know, but yeah, we've got some. We've got some cool content. Yeah. Got a heap. Heap happening. Anyway, so we've got some cool.
Akash Singh
Who you cook? Who'd you cook with while you're in town?
Dane Cook
What? Just did qcp. We're in town. Action Brunson. We're going to be.
Akash Singh
Oh, God.
Mark Gagnon
I was about to say he's going.
Dane Cook
To take us around and give show some good spots if.
Akash Singh
If you're with Action. He's got. He's got New York locked down.
Dane Cook
Yeah. So we got here. We got a few. We've got a few here in New York and we're going Miami. Doing a heap there as well.
Akash Singh
Dude, you got to. You got to link up with Carbone. With Mario Carbone? Yeah, yeah, he's the guy. He's a major food group. And do we reach out? No, I'll connect you guys. I'll connect you guys, but especially if you're down, because I think Mario's actually. I don't know if he's there during summer. Miami gets hot during summer, so a lot of people that live in Miami just dip.
Dane Cook
Sorry. Fair enough. But look, we got. Yeah, we got a. Got a heap. We do have some cool collabs happen.
Akash Singh
I love it. This is very good. Listen.
Dane Cook
Coming.
Akash Singh
So who knows what happens in Street Fighter? Like, obviously we're not going to, you know, release any information before, you know.
Andrew Schulz
But what if this podcast puts something in the universe?
Akash Singh
You know, maybe just talking about it could make it happen. Yeah, and maybe talking about it removes all your leverage in the contract negotiations. Now you'll end up doing it for free. That kind of backfires. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Schulz
But that budget goes into CGI for.
Akash Singh
Your abs, and then I'll look awesome.
Andrew Schulz
It all evens out.
Dane Cook
So maybe there is already chats. And then now we've put it out there and more people are going to talk about maybe negotiations are going to go better for us.
Mark Gagnon
Now they have to corner. They got to do it.
Dane Cook
I mean, that's if there was conversations already. There's just so many different.
Akash Singh
You've got a manager. I like it. I like it.
Andrew Schulz
Flat, white, half full, you know?
Akash Singh
Anyway, dude, Volk, we love you. We appreciate you. We'll watch you as long as you fight and we'll even watch you cook. That's how much we love. That's how much we love you as a fighter, that we watch you cook. That's love.
Dane Cook
That is love. And I appreciate it.
Akash Singh
You know that old man V might.
Dane Cook
Be we should get old, me and Vul, one time, dude. Maybe cook your feet or something.
Akash Singh
A feed one time. I need to see old man Volker take down some B. Have you seen that video of the guy? B. B is bacterial vaginosis.
Andrew Schulz
You don't want to say that.
Akash Singh
That's a Monday. Anyway, Bulk, we love you. We appreciate you. Thank you so much for being here, dog.
Dane Cook
Cheers, man.
Akash Singh
Thanks, guys. Stake is the leader in global betting in US Social casinos. Bet on top sports like the ufc, political. Political events like the mayor election of New York. And use the promo code flagrance for your welcome bonus. Now let's get back to the show. I'm starving. I'm starving and I haven't even done anything for my diet yet today. I think it's just the idea that I have to diet is fucking me up major.
Mark Gagnon
Hey, get on the gop, baby. Get on the mounjaro.
Akash Singh
What is it? Is it. Are you doing that?
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. We've been talked about this.
Akash Singh
Yeah, but I keep looking at you.
Eddie
I'm like, this guy is a piece of just.
Akash Singh
I'm so hungry. I need to eat something. I. You can have a salad with arugula, double chicken, cucumbers, and tomato. No dressing. What? You can. What about let. What about olive oil?
Andrew Schulz
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Akash Singh
That's Jordan speaking.
Dane Cook
Ask.
Akash Singh
Ask him if I can have hot sauce or something. I can have hot sauce, but it has to be the one in the fridge. It has to be, like, the cholula.
Eddie
Vinegar. Vinegar.
Akash Singh
You know what we can do, Ashley? It's five calories. We can do, like, a lime squeeze or a lemon squeeze. Oh, my God. Ask him what I can do to flavor the salad. Please. I'm about to pass out. I'm so hungry. Please. Well, you have three breakfasts, Andrew, Emma informed me you ate breakfast with her as well, and then you had overnight oats. I'm telling you, it's a psychological thing. You had more calories in breakfast than you. It's a psychological thing. I'm gonna eat when I. When we finish this pod in, like, five minutes, I am gonna have an appetite like you've never seen in your entire life. Okay. I'm gonna give you a salad. I'm gonna give. I'm gonna make you a protein shake. That's. Oh, I can do that. Yeah, you get a protein shake. Okay. There's just protein powder and water. Okay, I'll do that. Okay. And I'm gonna go get.
Dane Cook
You eat.
Akash Singh
I'm gonna start eating my own boogers if I don't have something. Okay, Boogers have, like, two calories each. Yes, I will do that. Thank you so much, Kiana. Thank you so much. I'm trying.
Andrew Schulz
Just go protein, high fats. The. You're not going to eat ever again. I'm telling you. That's the move.
Akash Singh
What does that mean?
Andrew Schulz
You do, like, steaks, butters, chicken, stuff like that.
Akash Singh
I'm not even allowed to do that.
Andrew Schulz
It's going to satiate you, and then you won't eat for long periods of time.
Akash Singh
But apparently I'm not allowed to do that.
Andrew Schulz
Says who?
Akash Singh
The muscle doctor.
Eddie
Wait, he's trying to cut. He's not trying to.
Akash Singh
Bull.
Andrew Schulz
That'll cut you down.
Eddie
He doesn't lift.
Mark Gagnon
He got. He also got three weeks.
Eddie
He doesn't lift.
Mark Gagnon
This is crash diet.
Akash Singh
I got five weeks.
Andrew Schulz
You need an E disorder. You need cigarettes and coffee.
Mark Gagnon
Eating disorder. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Akash Singh
You need a bag. I dream I smoke cigarettes and coffee.
Eddie
Cigarettes and black coffee will get you right cigs.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah, Split a baggie, dude.
Dane Cook
Oh, oh, oh.
Akash Singh
Crack.
Mark Gagnon
Crack. You'd probably lose crazy weight. Tons of energy.
Akash Singh
I would. I wouldn't do crack, but, like, if. If I didn't have a daughter, I would smoke cigarettes relentlessly. I would be so addicted to cigarettes.
Andrew Schulz
Yes, but thing with the plus minus, you do cigs, not good for you. Lose weight, get shredded. Is good for you.
Akash Singh
That's another thing. Like, be good with the bed. Like, where are the vanity muscles? Like, I don't think we have time to work legs. We. We're being very strategic about this. You know what I'm saying? I'm on the same page right now. What's going to be so funny is you're not going to see my body the entire movie. I know it for a fact. And I'm going to put myself through torture just to get a ab muscle for nothing. I'm going to have to, like, ask the director. I'm going have to pull him aside, be like, dude, can you just have, like, d rip off my shirt or something like that? Like, I need one day where I can at least show my body. Oh, man. For your acting role, you're playing a character who is technically, like, the manager of Ken. So, yeah, I don't know how much I can give away from the movie, but I will. So, yeah. So, yeah, I'm not, like, fighting in the Street Fighter tournament or whatever. Like, but I. I got some moves. Like, his lore is. Is quite interesting. I was, like, doing stuff while we were doing. Yeah, like, he. He is a joke character. Like, he got a shitty hadouken that goes like two feet. Like, he's purposely. He's purposely weak because they're trying to make fun of this other video game that was trying to steal characters from Street Fighter.
Eddie
So you don't need to wear a gouge. Just look like you.
Dane Cook
Do you have someone.
Akash Singh
I actually could do that. But acting is just like. I feel like the one. I don't know, the one thing but, like, a thing that you would respect about, like, you know, in an action movie is the actors putting themselves through the process.
Mark Gagnon
Your character's a joke.
Akash Singh
Yeah, but at least if I put the effort into, like, look good in an action movie, I do get to fight a little.
Andrew Schulz
Oh, that's cool.
Akash Singh
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
I don't know if you remember last action. No, no, no. True Lies with Arnold Schwarzenegger. It had Tom Arnold in it.
Akash Singh
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
He was not in shape and he didn't need to be.
Akash Singh
I'm the Tom Arnold of this movie.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. And he didn't. And nobody was like, why isn't Tom Arnold?
Akash Singh
That's the only thing I've thought about for the last 10 years. I remember seeing True Lies and I was like, why didn't Tom Arnold get fucking shouted? And I fear that there'll be other people out there, real Street Fighter fans. It won't feel like I did. I did. The characters. Dan Hibiki. Respect. Yeah. I have to get in shape. For Dan Hibiki to honor Dan Hibiki.
Andrew Schulz
You might get too shredded. Then it'll be unrealistic.
Akash Singh
Yeah. That's what I was worried about today.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah.
Akash Singh
When I was starving. I think I'm going to get too skinny.
Mark Gagnon
During your third breakfast.
Akash Singh
During my third breakfast, I looked down and I felt so hungry, but my stomach looks so full. And I was like, this is how people get fat. Like, the idea that you could look at your body and be like, oh, I have tons of reserves here. Why isn't it tapping into to that?
Andrew Schulz
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Akash Singh
It's kind of infuriating.
Mark Gagnon
You just don't look at your body and don't look pressing. You just keep. That's how the weight game happens.
Akash Singh
Dude, I can't believe you're on Munjaro. Not as an insult, but, like, I can't believe we talked about this. No, I know, but I thought that you were making a joke about it.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, I'm on it.
Andrew Schulz
He got cheek fillers. He's going all in Hollywood.
Akash Singh
Dude, did we even say that yet?
Mark Gagnon
I don't care, mom. Out here.
Akash Singh
I mean, interesting. That's.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, I'm gonna get on more, too. Dude. 41, it's over. What do you got? What do you got? Science.
Andrew Schulz
I love this. You're just losing weight some places, putting weight in other places.
Akash Singh
Have you lost weight on the Manjaro? How much have you lost?
Mark Gagnon
I'm working. I'm actually lifting. So, like, I'm. I. I'm never going to put on real muscle, but, like, I look better. I look much. I look like I have a foundation to be in shape now, which I never saw before in my life. I was like, oh, this guy. This guy could be in shape one day. Whereas before, I'd be like, I don't even see the map.
Akash Singh
I don't even see a roadmap to it.
Mark Gagnon
Even see where we're getting there now I'm like, okay, yeah, there's a path.
Akash Singh
I feel like there was a moment when we first met where you were pretty skinny.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, I could be skinny fat, but like, very skinny fat, but not like. But never real muscle or like, I could lift a normal amount of weight or, like, do push ups with any, like, real decent form.
Akash Singh
How many push ups do you think you can do?
Mark Gagnon
Oh, correctly.
Akash Singh
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
Three.
Andrew Schulz
No, no, you can do more than three.
Mark Gagnon
A real push up. Up is hard, dude.
Eddie
No, it's not.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, this. Yeah, I could do a few.
Akash Singh
Whatever.
Mark Gagnon
But when they're like, hey, you got to put your shoulders and your core got to be aligned. 3.
Andrew Schulz
You couldn't do more. You could do more than three.
Mark Gagnon
I don't know.
Akash Singh
What about a pull up?
Mark Gagnon
Pull ups?
Eddie
This is sad, bro.
Akash Singh
You can do it.
Mark Gagnon
I'll pull up. I can pass a presidential fitness test, I think.
Andrew Schulz
What is a presidential fitness test?
Akash Singh
Can we pull it up?
Andrew Schulz
I think that would be worst.
Mark Gagnon
I'll tell you what, I could never do that rope. You got to climb up that. There is no age or fitness level at which I would be able to do dangerous.
Akash Singh
Is that. Why do we have kids do that? Yeah, it's kind of crazy. Climb to the fucking.
Mark Gagnon
I don't even. My mind can't even understand how they do it.
Akash Singh
But why would you make middle school kids do that? Military. There's like a military fitness test. But why. Why would. Why would I. Why would I do it at 11 years old? To.
Andrew Schulz
To train you get your.
Akash Singh
For the military.
Andrew Schulz
Part of the Bush Youth, Dude.
Mark Gagnon
Here we go. The Clinton Youth 1 mile run. Can't do.
Akash Singh
Do that.
Mark Gagnon
Pull ups, Ups. Plural. Can't do that. Sit ups. Shuttle run. No. Okay. Sit and reach. I could do that.
Eddie
What's a shuttle room?
Akash Singh
That's. You gotta remind yo not to divert. But like, are we citizens? Yeah, cuz like, the birthright is done. Right? Right?
Andrew Schulz
Yeah.
Mark Gagnon
We took two hours and that's how we got into.
Akash Singh
I know I asked.
Dane Cook
No, cuz.
Akash Singh
Cuz my mom. My mom's a citizen now, but when she had me, she wasn't a citizen. None of y' all parents were. Well, you. But like, citizens.
Mark Gagnon
When I.
Akash Singh
They were citizens.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, yeah. My mom was.
Andrew Schulz
I wasn't.
Akash Singh
So do we am. I wasn't even born.
Mark Gagnon
I'm the only American in this room, y' all.
Akash Singh
No lowkey.
Mark Gagnon
Oh, miles. All right, I get it, buddy.
Akash Singh
Tiki torch ass real fast. So how do you. How do you Become an American citizen. Your parents got to be citizens. And then if you're born here, through them.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, you're.
Akash Singh
What if one of your parent is a citizen?
Mark Gagnon
Then I think you're good. I think you're good.
Akash Singh
So at least one of your parents got to be citizens. Now let me think about this rule. Is this rule that bad? And do other countries operate in the same way?
Mark Gagnon
The actual Supreme Court ruling I think was at like, like, you can't. An injunction only applies to the people that are suing. So if people are suing President Trump for trying to sign this order, and then a court says, nope. We were like, president Trump can't pass the order. We're going to protect these people that are suing. For now, it's only these people. There's no, like, precedent beyond the people that are actually suing.
Akash Singh
Got it?
Mark Gagnon
And then the. It would be state to state. And I think what they're trying to say is non US Citizens who have kids don't get. Get automatic citizenship. Now, not just illegals.
Akash Singh
Do the kids get citizenship?
Mark Gagnon
No, they do not. Just because you're born here. If you're born to a non US Citizen, I assume one of them is a citizen, you're okay. But if it's two non. That includes visas, I think that includes like a lot of shit.
Akash Singh
There's a part of me that's like, I don't know if it's that crazy because there are people who will just get pregnant and then month seven come to America. You can stay here for three months on a tourist visa and then you have a kid that's born here, and then they have American citizenship and they're taking. Taking advantage of American citizenship, obviously. Yeah. And they're not only people that are coming from third world countries. We're talking about people coming from Europe just so they can stack on.
Mark Gagnon
I know people would do that too.
Eddie
Are people who are here legally but on a visa, so they're not a citizen, but they're working here.
Mark Gagnon
I think if it's a work visa.
Eddie
That kid should be a citizen.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah. If you're here on a work visa.
Akash Singh
We gotta look at your work. Are you doing good work? If they work it, yeah.
Mark Gagnon
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. It's like a corporate indentured servitude thing they got going.
Andrew Schulz
The.
Mark Gagnon
Out of you.
Akash Singh
I feel like if you're working here.
Eddie
Yeah.
Akash Singh
If you're working here and then your. Your partner is also on a visa, so you're both working here and then you have a kid, then yeah, that kid.
Mark Gagnon
If you're on a fourth visa and you're allowed to bring your partner that kid, if the kid is born here, I think you should be a citizen.
Akash Singh
I don't think it's crazy to people who just like come here when they're nine months pregnant to have a baby and then.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, I'm not super mad at that. And I get the idea that someone comes here illegally and then has a kid. Why is that kid.
Akash Singh
And then their whole family gets to stay.
Mark Gagnon
Like I get that.
Eddie
That's so the shitty part is don't take it away, just refine it.
Akash Singh
So what's the best version of it?
Eddie
I think like what we said, like, I think if you're here on white.
Akash Singh
People get to do it or white people get to do it, that's the best version. And.
Eddie
And Nigerians and Indians. That's it.
Andrew Schulz
Oh, that's odd.
Eddie
The best of the world.
Akash Singh
Yeah, the best of the best. Thanks, dude.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah, I mean it's tricky because you want to create a system where the best people from all the world over the world want to come here, but also to gap up the loopholes that they can't just exploit the system and come over in nine months.
Akash Singh
This was a loophole gap in the beginning. Well, I think wasn't this to make it so that children of slaves were considered American citizens? I believe it was the 14th amendment. So like the idea was that you don't. You are a citizen of the United States of America. And I believe that there are legals that are tax taking advantage of that rule that was put in place to give citizenship to 13th amendment stopped chattel slavery. And then the 14th amendment was basically like how do we make these people citizens? Yeah. And the 14th was birthright. Well, what I would. What I. So here's. This is. This is actually a really interesting point. So I hate you for what reason? We know hated him the moment you saw him. But yeah. So here, so maybe here's a good option. Like if you want to gain citizenship through your. If you want your kid to be a citizen but you're illegal, you have to be a slave for a little. Because that is the 14th amendment. If you're going to use the 14th amendment which was specifically put in place so that the kids of slaves would get the citizenship, you are using that without going through the slaving. So if you slave it up a little bit, then it should apply to you and your family. But if you're doing it without the whole purpose of it, then it feels like you're taking advantage of a system. Al, would you like to speak on this?
Andrew Schulz
Keep in mind that you might get some Serbian slaves out of this.
Akash Singh
You can get white slaves.
Eddie
The first thing I thought about.
Akash Singh
I'm like, yeah, you might.
Mark Gagnon
It's kind of racist toward black people to not make them go through slaves.
Akash Singh
It's unfair. It's like, you guys had to go through this, right? And then these other people don't have to go through it, but then they get the citizenship. Imagine the atrocities that you had to endure, the equality.
Eddie
MLK wanted.
Akash Singh
White slaves, black slaves. All slaves. All slaves. So we bring back slavery in an effort to naturalize the kids of illegals, I think. And then. What is the term of slavery?
Mark Gagnon
Seven years. Based on movies I've heard of.
Akash Singh
All right.
Andrew Schulz
I think you got to go shorter.
Mark Gagnon
12, bro.
Akash Singh
I saw so many stamp.
Dane Cook
Seven years.
Akash Singh
I think it depends, like, what we need to get done. Like, some of these projects, like, are. Is going to take a little while.
Andrew Schulz
Yeah, yeah.
Mark Gagnon
What do we need done? What are the big things we need done?
Akash Singh
We need housing.
Mark Gagnon
We need housing.
Akash Singh
We need them to build housing.
Mark Gagnon
That's the Mexicans. That's the Mexicans. All construction projects.
Akash Singh
Who is. Who are the best builders in the world? Like, should they come here on an indentured surface servitude term, and their kids that they do have end up becoming citizens?
Andrew Schulz
I don't know if white people could be the. The owners. That feels too weird to me. So I think it's only non whites can own the slaves.
Eddie
I like that.
Andrew Schulz
And so it's y' all. Y' all can have slaves, and that's kind of whatever you guys want to build.
Mark Gagnon
We'll just bring ours from India. We got.
Andrew Schulz
That's what I'm saying.
Eddie
You guys already have an enslave your own people. That's up.
Akash Singh
Thank you. Thank you, thank you. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Now you get it. You get it. This is full circle moment.
Andrew Schulz
Takes a couple hundred years, but they see.
Akash Singh
Dude, can we just have an acknowledgement of how racist you feel watching Squid Game? When you're on the third season and you've loved the last two and the beginning episode of the third season, you're like, I don't know who the fuck is.
Mark Gagnon
There? No.
Akash Singh
It took me three episodes where I was like, oh, got it. I get who that is. Like, you know, you feel a little racist, right?
Andrew Schulz
Like, they had to dye the one dude's hair pink just so you knew.
Akash Singh
And they killed that motherfucker. So now we don't even have pink hair. And I'm just like, oh, who's the good guys? Who the bad guys?
Eddie
Like, not to give away spoilers, but, you know the one of the guys that was from the boat crew, and he was like, nah, I don't like this captain.
Akash Singh
I had no clue. He was.
Eddie
When he goes to the house, when they pull up at the house with the car, I'm like, oh, is this a flashback from one of the other agents?
Akash Singh
But I couldn't even remember Parasite.
Andrew Schulz
You thought they were doing a crossover episode.
Eddie
Remember that that character was the guy from the boat. It's hard. It's hard to.
Akash Singh
3. It took me three episodes to be like, all right, I'm locked in. I know what's going on. Three episodes.
Andrew Schulz
How do they, like, rough voiceover or something? They got to be able to.
Akash Singh
Dude, they did everything. They, they numbered them. And it's still difficult.
Mark Gagnon
Yeah, I've heard the season is not good.
Akash Singh
I would like to disagree with you.
Eddie
Yeah, I, I, I thought it was better than last season.
Akash Singh
I haven't finished it. I'm on episode three now. I know you know what's going on, what's happening. So it's. I like it. I'm so hungry. It's unbelievable.
Mark Gagnon
And pie.
Akash Singh
I'm so hungry. We got to end the pie. Your salad is here. I ask you on it. We appreciate you. We love you. I'm starving. Watch Street Fighter.
Podcast Summary: Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Episode: Zohran Wins NYC, Schulz in Street Fighter Movie + Surprise UFC Pop In
Release Date: July 1, 2025
[00:01 - 02:34]
The episode opens with the hosts discussing the recent New York City mayoral election, highlighting Zohran's unexpected victory. Akaash Singh delves into the factors contributing to Zohran's success, such as economic frustrations among voters facing high student loan debts and escalating rent prices. Mark Gagnon and Eddie share personal anecdotes about feeling targeted during the campaign, reflecting broader societal tensions.
Notable Discussion Point:
[02:34 - 04:16]
The hosts transition to a critical analysis of Zohran's proposed economic policies, particularly rent freezes. Akaash Singh argues that while rent control offers immediate relief, it may lead to long-term housing shortages and discourage landlords from maintaining properties. The conversation touches on historical precedents and the complexities of implementing such measures effectively.
Notable Quote:
[04:16 - 12:35]
Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh share humorous and challenging experiences from their recent vacation to Ibiza. They recount issues like jet lag, managing sleep while traveling with children, and unexpected problems during the flight, such as low oxygen levels. The stories provide a lighthearted break from the political discussions, highlighting the hosts' camaraderie and relatability.
Notable Anecdote:
[12:35 - 26:40]
The podcast delves into the hosts' visit to a local prison accompanied by rapper Jelly Roll. They discuss the complexities of performing comedy in such an environment, the emotional interactions with inmates, and the transformative impact of the experience. The segment underscores themes of empathy, rehabilitation, and the role of humor in difficult settings.
Notable Insight:
[26:40 - 105:44]
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing recent UFC fights, featuring insights from guest Dane Cook. The conversation covers fight strategies, recent match outcomes, and upcoming cards. They analyze fighters' techniques, such as Joshua Van's impeccable timing and Ilya's striking skills, providing listeners with an in-depth understanding of the sport.
Notable Quote:
Subtopics Covered:
[105:44 - 127:36]
The hosts explore personal hobbies, with a particular focus on bonsai trees. Akaash Singh shares his newfound interest in bonsai, discussing the discipline and artistry involved in cultivating these miniature trees. The conversation highlights the therapeutic aspects of gardening and how such hobbies can provide balance amidst hectic lives.
Notable Reflection:
[127:36 - 136:57]
A controversial segment addresses U.S. citizenship laws, specifically the 14th Amendment's birthright citizenship. The hosts debate the implications of these policies, immigration loopholes, and the potential socioeconomic impacts. While discussing sensitive topics, the hosts express varying perspectives on how citizenship laws influence immigration patterns and societal integration.
Notable Statement:
[136:57 - 141:15]
The episode concludes with light-hearted discussions about popular TV shows like Squid Game and their cultural impact. The hosts reflect on the portrayal of racial and ethnic identities in media, sharing their perspectives on character development and storytelling techniques. This segment serves as a casual wrap-up, offering listeners a glimpse into the hosts' entertainment preferences.
Notable Commentary:
In this episode of Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh, the hosts navigate a diverse range of topics, from the intricacies of New York City's political landscape to personal travel mishaps and deep dives into UFC fight strategies. Their candid and unfiltered discussions offer listeners both humorous anecdotes and thought-provoking analyses, maintaining the podcast's signature blend of comedy and commentary.
Disclaimer: This summary adheres to content guidelines by paraphrasing sensitive discussions without reproducing offensive or disallowed content verbatim.