What are the strange and specific desires of a woman’s heart, and how is the Fictional Man so spot on? Listen as Andy and Stacey McEwan (romance author, Tik Tok and Bookstagram star) profile the perfect fictional lover and analyze the extremely fictional female fantasy. andyoverthinks.com/femalefantasies

“Never Had a Man Like Me” Parody song lyrics:

Well Mr. Darcy had 10,000 pounds
And Edward Cullen was one hundred ten.
But woman you’re in luck ‘cause in hardbounds
Are fake men to read again and again…

I got the power to make you say wow
An unintentional athletic champ.
In young adult, fiction, and your fantasy
I got you turning on your bedside lamp

And I’ll say
Perfectly average girl
Without you I cannot be
Yeah I’m a custom order
Your guy’s a clown
You ain’t never had a man like me (Ha ha ha)

He is not a thrilling taunt
And I’m your hot faerie!
A mythical creature’s what you really want!
You ain’t never had a man like me.

Yes mam, your quirks are what I worship
Your freak outs, your fits, your flaws!
You’re my only wish
I do courtship
How about an unconditional massage?

Love your obnoxious friends
your dysfunctional family
I’m in the mood for all your moods
You ain’t never had a man like me!

‘How do I look?’ SO GOOD
‘I’ll just have some of yours.’ OH YEAH
‘Would you get remarried if I died?’ I COULD NEVER

You’re cute when you’re pissed
I got a six pack
But I wouldn’t care a bit if you got fat!
Does your man go poop?
Well not me my dear.

Has your dude chased down your car, your flight, or ship
Just to make certain his love is clear?

Go on and sit there slack jawed, buggy eyed
As I gently push back your hair
I’d put your oxygen mask on before mine
Did I mention I’m a millionaire?

I got a powerful urge to take you out,
never hang with friends or on my own
A honey-do list that’s three miles long, do doubt
All you gotta do is just say so!
Miss unremarkable, and normal, plain lady
Make my heart throb, your guy’s lost the job

You ain’t never had a man, never had a man, you ain’t never had a man like me!

Stacey McEwan’s newly released book! Her instagram and TikTok

Beale Street Theater