Podcast Summary: Apple News Today — “In sickness and in health”: What No One Tells You About Caring for a Loved One

Host: Shumita Basu
Guest: Laura Mauldin, Sociologist and Author
Date: February 21, 2026

Overview

This episode of Apple News Today explores the emotional, social, and political realities of caring for a loved one with a serious illness or disability in America. Host Shumita Basu speaks with Laura Mauldin, a sociology professor and author of In Sickness and in Love: Stories from the Front Lines of America’s Caregiving Crisis. Featuring deeply personal stories—including Mauldin’s own experiences—the episode lays bare how inadequate healthcare infrastructure leaves ordinary people shouldering enormous, often invisible, burdens. Mauldin and Basu discuss the consequences of being “the one” caregiver and the myths and isolations surrounding love, care, and responsibility in the U.S.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Laura Mauldin’s Journey: From Partner to Full-Time Caregiver

• Meeting Jay & Early Caregiving

  • Laura met Jay at a WNBA game; soon after, Jay’s leukemia returned (00:51–01:16).
  • Laura stepped in as primary caregiver, gradually shifting from partner to “doing it all” without initially realizing the magnitude (01:40–02:08).
  • Quote (Laura, 01:40):
    “I think all of us think about or want to think about illness in this way. Oh, I just have to do X, Y, Z and on the other side of that, everything will be resolved and I can go back to my life. But there was no going back.”

• Reflections on Being “The One”

  • The caregiving role becomes invisible, intimate, and is rarely questioned in partnerships. There are both rewards and costs to being the sole, knowledgeable carer (02:53–04:12).
  • Quote (Laura, 02:53):
    “Being the one is something that happens in a really invisible way because it’s subtle and it’s intimate… There are consequences to that that are both good and bad.”

The Book: Personal and Universal Stories

• Mauldin’s book blends her own story with dozens of interviews, illustrating how care responsibilities shift relationships and are shaped by policy failures and ableism (04:25–06:04).
• Quote (Laura, 04:46):
  “…this is about the inevitability of the fallibility of our bodies… can I tell my singular and specific story and a few other specific stories in order to sort of weave together this broader picture…?”

Featured Stories from the Book

Tina and Ben: Navigating Progressive Disability and a Broken System (06:04–12:59)

• Early Love & Care Evolution

  • Tina, diagnosed with MS at 21, later experienced increasing symptoms; Ben, her partner, gradually became her full-time caregiver (06:04–07:30).
  • Quote (Ben to Laura, 07:30):
    “I now realize I’m going to be doing this into my 90s, and it’s never going to stop, and there will never be infrastructure to do all that needs to be done.”

• Financial and Emotional Strain

  • The couple fell into a policy gap—Ben’s income disqualified them from Medicaid, private care was unaffordable, resulting in dangerous isolation for Tina during the day (07:46–08:45).
  • The logic of U.S. healthcare systems—insurance tied to work, stringent Medicaid criteria, lack of backup—amplified their struggles.
  • Quote (Laura, 08:53):
    “Only bodies that are productive for the economy should have access to health care.”

• A Day Alone Becomes a Crisis

  • Tina is left at home; a mishap leaves her “face down on the floor” for hours, but instead of anger at the system, her response is shame and self-blame (09:56–12:59).
  • Quote (Laura, 11:58):
    “She only saw it as her own failing and felt shame around it.”

Angel and Kim: Sudden Disability and Adjusting to a New Life (12:59–18:49)

• A Life Transformed Overnight

  • Angel, a contractor, suffers a sudden stroke at 59. Lacking employer benefits or VA care (as his disability came post-service), the couple is cast into financial insecurity (13:50–15:34).

• Navigating Social Security & Homecoming

  • Social Security benefits are meager and uncertain, creating immense stress for Kim and Angel (15:34–16:20).
  • Upon Angel’s return from rehab, minimal guidance is provided; a suicide prevention pamphlet was the only support handed to them (15:53–16:20).
  • Quote (Laura, 15:53):
    “The only thing they hand them as they’re going out the door is a pamphlet for suicide prevention. It’s this idea that you would probably prefer to be dead than be disabled.”

• Finding Meaning Beyond Despair

  • Angel eventually regains some sense of purpose, utilizing his creativity to make household adaptations; Kim proves a steadfast partner during adjustment (17:00–18:49).
  • Quote (Laura, 17:46):
    “Disability is the source of creativity because there’s a friction between you and the world… We all benefit from these kinds of creative ways of doing things.”

Structural and Cultural Barriers to Care

The American Ideal of Love and Care

• Society’s romantic ideal expects partners’ love to meet all care needs, which leads to guilt, shame, and isolation for caregivers (19:41–21:10).
• Quote (Laura, 19:41):
  “Our expectations of what love can do are basically, well, the state doesn’t need to do anything because love should be able to do it all … my love was not infrastructure, in fact.”

Advocacy for Change & Self-Forgiveness

• Mauldin urges public recognition that care should not be an isolated, private struggle. The consequences of being “the one” are unfair to both the disabled person and the caregiver (21:11–22:25).

• Quote (Laura, 22:20):
  “We shouldn’t view this as an individual responsibility. We should view this as a collective responsibility…”

• She suggests community-based models of care, policy advocacy for universal health and long-term care, as well as growing openness about care needs within social networks (22:25–23:25).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On societal ableism:
  “Only bodies that work, that are productive for the economy, should have access to healthcare.” – Laura Mauldin (08:53)
• On caregiver isolation:
  “Being the one is something that happens in a really invisible way because it’s subtle and it’s intimate.” – Laura Mauldin (02:53)
• On finding meaning after loss:
  “Twenty years later, I’m still trying to forgive myself. So I would very much like for other people to read this and go ahead and forgive themselves right now and then do something.” – Laura Mauldin (22:10)

Key Timestamps

• Laura’s story and becoming a caregiver: 00:51–02:08
• Being “the one” and consequences: 02:53–04:12
• About the book: 04:25–06:04
• Tina and Ben’s story: 06:04–12:59
• Angel and Kim’s story: 12:59–18:49
• Message for change & self-forgiveness: 19:41–23:25

Closing

Laura Mauldin calls for visibility, collective responsibility, and policy change around caregiving. She encourages caregivers not to blame themselves and to seek support, pushing for broader models of care and solidarity.

[A link to Laura Mauldin’s book is available in the show notes.]