32 - Are we going to have a problem here?

Summary

Archive 81 – Episode 32: “Are we going to have a problem here?”

Podcast by Dead Signals | Air date: October 5, 2018

Episode Overview

This episode marks the conclusion of Archive 81’s Season 3, plunging listeners into a surreal, emotionally fraught finale centered around ritual, betrayal, and the blurred lines between horror and beauty. Christine Anderson and Nicholas Waters, deep within the cult compound, face dire supernatural threats, twisted family legacies, manipulative immortality, and agonizing choices about memory, loyalty, and the unknown. The episode is both a climactic resolution and a meditation on the costs of seeking forbidden knowledge, the limits of normalcy, and the allure of the extraordinary.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Desperate Rituals and Violent Escalation

• Goldfish Ritual ([00:18]–[02:30])
  The episode opens in chaos: Christine, Nicholas, and Dan attempt an unnerving ritual involving forcing another character (Alistair) to swallow an extra-dimensional goldfish, a violent, bizarre act laden with supernatural stakes and ambiguity.
  • Quote – Nicholas: “We killed it. And now you’re going to eat it. No.” ([00:25])
  • Quote – Christine: “Just use your jacket. He bit me.” ([00:41])
• Cult Pursuit ([02:30]–[03:42])
  As alarms sound, the protagonists realize the cult is aware of their infiltration, sparking a frantic escape as they rush toward the cult’s mysterious vault.

2. Labyrinthine Hideout and Uncanny Interactions

• Navigating the Compound ([03:44]–[05:29])
  Guidance from Lou (by phone) helps the group evade traps and dodge cultists, weaving through a compound loaded with surveillance and peril.
  • Quote – Lou: “There are cameras and recording equipment pretty much everywhere. Like some weird fetish.” ([05:03])

3. Confrontation with the Organization

• Meeting the Nameless Entity ([06:31]–[10:02])
  Christine and Nicholas come face-to-face with the Organization, revealed as a multi-voiced, form-changing being. It discusses its history, ambiguous goals, and containment of abominations—implying neither outright hostility nor allegiance.
  • Quote – Organization: “We are like stories that way. We are interested in your perception of us.” ([09:13])
  • Quote – Nicholas: “You look like some sort of… bit like the robot in Metropolis. With strange angles and too many mouths.” ([09:34])
  • Quote – Christine: “You look kind of like a cloud made out of old radio equipment. Like from the 40s, if that makes sense.” ([09:48])
• The entity cryptically instructs them how to safely retrieve their ritual items from the vault, cautioning about dire consequences if they interact with forbidden objects.

4. The Ritual and Its Aftermath

• Final Preparations ([11:06]–[12:29])
  Nicholas and Christine methodically prepare the ritual—combining ambergris, gold dust, and a music sheet, following a carefully memorized process.
  • Quote – Nicholas: “I suspect that the work of the ritual was in cleansing ourselves for it. The ritual itself isn’t as strenuous.” ([11:52])
• Chant and Transformation ([12:29]–[13:14])
  They begin the ritual's chant as pursuers close in:
  • Repeated phrase: “Christine Anderson will be redeemed in this world and the next.”
• Sudden Shift and Shocking Revelations ([14:17]–[19:54])
  Nicholas awakens in a constructed study with his father—who reveals the truth: the ritual was designed for possession, granting him the means to usurp Nicholas’s body. The episode unpacks a generational obsession with esoteric immortality, exposing a cycle of manipulation and profound betrayal.
  • Quote – Nicholas’s Father: “I joined him. We were devoted to understanding the true nature of the world and gaining power from that understanding... it only grants a form of immortality. It allows possession.” ([17:13])

5. Christine’s Return and the Final Confrontation

• Christine Intervenes ([23:28]–[24:26])
  With assistance from Lou and a mysterious artifact, Christine reappears, disrupting Nicholas’s father mid-possession and exposing the ritual’s horrific nature.
  • Quote – Christine: “What the hell are you doing to Nicholas?” ([23:28])
  • Quote – Nicholas: “He wanted to possess my body so he could live again… It somehow involved eating my heart.” ([23:48])
• Emotional Fallout ([24:48]–[25:28])
  The siblings share a moment of solace and recovery. Christine confesses to foggy flashbacks of her ordeal but lacks clear memory.

6. Unwinding Reality: Conversations with Dan

• Dan’s Role Explained ([25:50]–[28:51])
  Dan, formerly just a voice on the tapes, appears in person and reveals his own convoluted backstory—being reshaped by the supernatural—while offering a way for the group to return to their chosen realities.
  • Quote – Dan: “I listened to a bunch of weird tapes. I got thrown into an extra-dimensional world of horror and beauty. I became a tape cyborg…” ([28:10])

7. Parting Choices and Self-Discovery

• Christine’s Farewell ([29:03]–[30:43])
  Learning of her time on a ship and her sense of belonging with Lou and the crew, Christine opts to leave with them, bravely accepting her disconnection from her old memories.
  • Quote – Christine: “They said they need me… I think I need to go.” ([29:39], [29:52])
  • Quote – Nicholas: “I want my sister. I’m sorry. You really want to do this?” ([30:03])
  • Quote – Christine: “Yeah.” ([30:15])
  • Siblings say their farewells:
    • Christine: “Love you, bro.” ([30:41])
    • Nicholas: “Love you, sis. She’s gone.” ([30:43])
• Nicholas’s Defiance and Dan’s Plea ([31:05]–[33:14])
  Dan encourages Nicholas to abandon the occult and return to a “normal” life, but Nicholas resists, drawn to the mysteries and his promise to the enigmatic Static Man.
  • Quote – Nicholas: “Why would I want to live a normal life?” ([31:38])
  • Quote – Dan: “Doing these things, being part of these kinds of stories… it changes you in ways you aren’t prepared for.” ([32:36])
  • Quote – Nicholas: “I will not be content with pretending that the world is the way I thought it was.” ([33:07])

8. Unclear Futures and the Lure of the Unknown

• Resolution ([33:42]–[33:54])
  Despite the traumas endured, Nicholas chooses the extraordinary, remaining open to further supernatural exploration and unfinished obligations.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Christine’s practical courage:
  "Just use your jacket. He bit me… You'll probably be more helpful if we weren't holding the recorder." – Christine ([00:41], [00:51])

• The entity’s existential perspective:
  “Beauty and horror are linked. You cannot have one without the other.” – Organization ([10:46])

• Intergenerational dread:
  “It allows possession. The ability to inhabit the body of someone younger than yourself, which is, in my mind, a good substitute for immortality.” – Nicholas’s Father ([17:13])

• Christine’s goodbye:
  “Love you, bro.” – Christine ([30:41])
  “Love you, sis. She’s gone.” – Nicholas ([30:43])

• Nicholas’s resolve:
  “I will not be content with pretending that the world is the way I thought it was.” – Nicholas ([33:07])

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• [00:18] – Start of the goldfish ritual struggle
• [03:35] – Lou provides directions and support
• [06:31] – First encounter with the Organization entity
• [10:09] – Gaining vault access and cryptic warnings
• [11:27] – Ritual preparations in the vault
• [14:17] – Nicholas and his father’s confrontation
• [23:28] – Christine’s return and intervention
• [25:50] – Dan’s appearance and explanations
• [29:03] – Christine considers her future; emotional sibling farewell
• [31:41] – Nicholas and Dan debate normalcy vs. occult pursuits

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Conclusion

Episode 32 delivers an intense, layered conclusion featuring betrayals, rescue, family secrets, and transformational choices. It’s a meditation on what it means to seek and possess forbidden knowledge, the entwinement of beauty with horror, and the inability—perhaps even the refusal—to ever truly go back to ‘normal’ after the unnatural becomes real. The finale closes with Nicholas resisting the call to mundane life, while Christine chooses her own uncertain adventure beyond memory.

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This summary aims to capture the episode’s haunting, darkly witty, and emotionally raw style, providing listeners with a full sense of its high-stakes drama and character-driven revelations.

Transcript

[Sponsor Bot]

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[Unknown Entity / The Organization]

You didn't destroy it, did you?

[Nicholas Waters]

You found some way to escape.

[Unknown Entity / The Organization]

But you didn't destroy my creation. You couldn't have.

[Nicholas Waters]

There was a goldfish in a pond. We killed it. And now you're going to eat it. No.

[Unknown Entity / The Organization]

No.

[Nicholas Waters]

Please someone help.

[Christine Anderson]

Please come help me. There. Grab him. No.

[Nicholas Waters]

Stop. Help.

[Christine Anderson]

Get him.

[Nicholas Waters]

With what?

[Christine Anderson]

Just use your jacket. He bit me.

[Nicholas Waters]

Why do they always bite me? Now my jacket's gonna have spit on.

[Christine Anderson]

I'm sorry for your loss. And you'll probably be more helpful if we weren't holding the recorder.

[Dan]

It's important.

[Christine Anderson]

Do you have any rope? What?

[Nicholas Waters]

Why would I have rope? I don't know.

[Christine Anderson]

Is there any desk?

[Nicholas Waters]

No. Who has rope on their desk?

[Christine Anderson]

Dude, I don't know his life.

[Dan]

Shit.

[Christine Anderson]

You still got the fish?

[Nicholas Waters]

Yeah. How are you gonna swallow it?

[Christine Anderson]

Take the gag off.

[Nicholas Waters]

But I.

[Christine Anderson]

Just do it there. Alistair, you're going to have to open up. You are going to open your fucking mouth. Keep him still trying Squirrelly.

[Nicholas Waters]

Do you think that was too hard?

[Christine Anderson]

Yeah, Nick. Maybe next time don't ram his head on the floor. We're not trying to kill him.

[Nicholas Waters]

Oh, I'm sure forcing him to swallow an extra dimensional goldfish will have no negative consequences on his health.

[Christine Anderson]

Hey Alistair. Open up little buddy.

[Unknown Entity / The Organization]

I don't know what you're doing.

[Christine Anderson]

Don't worry, don't worry. Just swallow the goldfish. Come on. Nick. Get his hands while I cover his nostrils. He'll swallow if he doesn't have oxygen.

[Dan]

Help.

[Christine Anderson]

There. Come on. There we go. There we beautiful.

[Nicholas Waters]

Well should we clean them up?

[Christine Anderson]

How? You see a vacuum anywhere.

[Nicholas Waters]

I take your point. All right, so we're in the cult compound. That's actually a good thing. We just need to find out where the ritual components are.

[Unknown Entity / The Organization]

We have noticed an anomaly in your office, Alistair. We would appreciate it if you explained yourself. We have attempted to dissuade you from performing your experiments in the compound. Have you ignored our advice? Alicer. Interesting.

[Christine Anderson]

God damn it.

[Nicholas's Father]

Shit. Shit, shit. Come on.

[Christine Anderson]

We need to run.

[Dan]

No.

[Christine Anderson]

What?

[Nicholas Waters]

We have cell service.

[Christine Anderson]

Oh hell yeah.

[Lou]

My dudes. How's it? Oh shit. This doesn't sound good. I'm guessing you didn't bring me Popeyes.

[Christine Anderson]

No time. We're at the cult's headquarters. They know that someone's here. We need to get to their vault. And I'm pretty sure they want to kill us.

[Nicholas Waters]

So that's a no on the Popeyes static man. Please. We really need your help on this.

[Nicholas's Father]

My dudes.

[Lou]

Do not worry, everything's going to be.

[Christine Anderson]

Alistair. If you're in there, declare yourself.

[Lou]

Here comes the fuds.

[Christine Anderson]

Any intruders or extra dimensional entities are warned to lie on the floor in a prone position. If they do not, they will be summarily executed.

[Lou]

What do I got this, my dude. Just get behind the things.

[Christine Anderson]

We're coming in. What are you?

[Unknown Entity / The Organization]

I am the wizard on the wind. I am the ice of Winter's heart. I am the knife in the dreaming. Goodbye.

[Lou]

Well, we just bought a bit of time. I didn't spatter any bone fragments on you, right? They have a habit of getting everywhere like litter. Like you open up your backpack two days later and.

[Nicholas's Father]

Oh shit. Bone fragments.

[Christine Anderson]

We're fine, thank you.

[Nicholas Waters]

Yes, thank you. I'm assuming those aren't the last of them.

[Lou]

Just a second.

[Nicholas Waters]

Alright, we're good.

[Lou]

There are cameras and recording equipment pretty much everywhere. Like some weird fetish. And you mentioned you needed to get to the vault.

[Christine Anderson]

Yeah.

[Nicholas's Father]

Take a left.

[Lou]

Then take the second right. Then it should be at the end of the hallway.

[Nicholas Waters]

Thank you.

[Lou]

Yeah, you two should better be going. Make use of all the confusion and shit.

[Christine Anderson]

We owe you for this. You know that, right?

[Lou]

It's all good, dude. Nick visited me when I was in limbo.

[Nicholas's Father]

Pretty cool. Anyway, Peace.

[Nicholas Waters]

We should probably be running.

[Christine Anderson]

Come on. What the hell is this place?

[Nicholas Waters]

I'm not quite sure. Second right this way. Did you hear that?

[Christine Anderson]

Come on. We need to hide in this room. What is that? God damn hell. Did you.

[Nicholas Waters]

I don't want to think about. Right.

[Christine Anderson]

Yeah, yeah. Let's get going. All right.

[Nicholas Waters]

All right. I think it's through here.

[Christine Anderson]

Yeah, just through this door.

[Unknown Entity / The Organization]

We expected that you would arrive here. We believe that your names are Christine and Nicholas. Correct? Please do not call your assessment. We simply desire to talk.

[Christine Anderson]

Alright then. Talk. Who are you?

[Unknown Entity / The Organization]

That is a long story. What do we look like to you?

[Nicholas Waters]

We just need to get to the vault. Alright? That's it. We're not trying to take down your organization or anything. We can.

[Unknown Entity / The Organization]

Our hearing is much better than yours. We can faintly hear the screams of men and women being torn asunder. Being turned into meat. Those screams disagree with your assertion.

[Christine Anderson]

You did try to kill us first.

[Unknown Entity / The Organization]

Accurate though your goals lie opposed to the goals of our organization. And you have killed Patho for a time. Which will cost us an extraordinary amount of resources to fence.

[Christine Anderson]

Wait, wait. You're. You're whatever the hell you call yourselves.

[Unknown Entity / The Organization]

This organization does not have a name.

[Nicholas Waters]

That would be.

[Christine Anderson]

Yeah, yeah, whatever you are, you're. You're opposed to freaky shit, right? Then why the hell are you involved with Payphone? And Alistair had a goddamn office in here. He was going full DIY House of leaves.

[Unknown Entity / The Organization]

Payphone was a legacy of the creation of our current form. A seed sown in the radio waves, burrowing underground until finally giving itself a form. Many forms added to itself. The organization that we work for found it useful to, if not contain, extra dimensional power to shape it along predictable lines. We expended nearly all of our resources to fully wall off abominations. And we were not entirely successful. This caused us much despair. Splinter. We are used to many voices. But these were too many. There are many ways of looking at events. Not everyone in this organization is geared towards your destruction.

[Nicholas Waters]

Are you?

[Christine Anderson]

Hmm.

[Unknown Entity / The Organization]

We will ask again. What do we look like to you? We ask because our forms change depending on who observes them. We are like stories that way. We are interested in your perception of us.

[Nicholas Waters]

You look like some sort of. A bit like the robot in Metropolis. With strange angles and too many mouths.

[Christine Anderson]

What?

[Nicholas Waters]

Really?

[Christine Anderson]

That's. You look. You look kind of like a cloud made out of old radio equipment. Like from the 40s, if that makes sense.

[Unknown Entity / The Organization]

Interesting. The ritual that you are pursuing. You had assistance, correct?

[Nicholas Waters]

Yes. Someone is listening to our tapes.

[Unknown Entity / The Organization]

He has been known to do that. You may enter the vault. The equipment you seek is in second C, box 45. Do not touch the portraits or the cow skulls. If you do so, you will be trapped in a cycle of unending torment. We wish you. We are much more what we wish you.

[Christine Anderson]

Thank you.

[Nicholas Waters]

Why are you doing this?

[Unknown Entity / The Organization]

Beauty and horror are linked. You cannot have one without the other. You should hurry. Others will not understand our reason.

[Christine Anderson]

Come on. This is goddamn enormous. It's like a warehouse.

[Nicholas Waters]

Sea should be this way. And avoid the skulls.

[Christine Anderson]

You remember how this is going to go down?

[Nicholas Waters]

Yes, I have it memorized.

[Christine Anderson]

You ready for this?

[Nicholas Waters]

Yes. Yes, I am.

[Christine Anderson]

Okay. Okay, 45. There's this.

[Mark]

Have everything.

[Nicholas Waters]

Tarp, music sheet. It even has a lighter. Do you have the ambergris?

[Christine Anderson]

Hasn't left my pocket since Roland's.

[Nicholas Waters]

And the gold dust.

[Christine Anderson]

Hell yeah.

[Nicholas Waters]

All right. We need to lay off the tarp.

[Christine Anderson]

Do I just put the amber grease on?

[Nicholas Waters]

Yes. Now we just sprinkle the dust.

[Christine Anderson]

This seems too simple.

[Nicholas Waters]

I suspect that the work of the ritual was in cleansing ourselves for it. The ritual itself isn't a strenuous.

[Christine Anderson]

Yeah, I guess so. The music sheet.

[Nicholas Waters]

It's supposed to Be stuck into the ambergris and I'll just start the fire.

[Christine Anderson]

Shit. We're getting close. Do we need to?

[Nicholas Waters]

No, we just need to burn it and start chanting. Would you like to do the honors?

[Christine Anderson]

Oh, yeah. Chris Anderson will be redeemed in this world and the next.

[Nicholas Waters]

Nicholas Waters will be redeemed in this world and the next Chris Anderson will.

[Christine Anderson]

Be redeemed in this world and the next Chris Anderson will be redeemed in this world and the next. Oh, thank God. They're getting closer.

[Nicholas Waters]

I don't think it matters anymore.

[Christine Anderson]

It's Sam.

[Nicholas Waters]

In my head.

[Nicholas's Father]

Hello, son.

[Nicholas Waters]

Death.

[Nicholas's Father]

I can imagine how this would be a bit surprising.

[Nicholas Waters]

What? How are you? Where am I? And where's Christine?

[Nicholas's Father]

It's all right. Pull up a chair.

[Christine Anderson]

Sit.

[Nicholas's Father]

We have time. We're in my study. Or a version of it, at least.

[Nicholas Waters]

Did the ritual work?

[Nicholas's Father]

Yes. Congratulations, by the way. The ritual worked. I've been listening in, and I have to say I'm very proud of you. Quite resourceful.

[Mark]

Then.

[Nicholas Waters]

Is this some sort of subconscious.

[Nicholas's Father]

Oh, no, no, no, no. Look at the recorder on your arm. Quite real, I'm afraid. Or as real as anything is, which is debatable.

[Nicholas Waters]

All right, so what's gonna happen? And where's Christine? And are you really my dad? Or just my perception of him? My memory?

[Nicholas's Father]

I'm your father, Nicholas. Not a good one, but I'm your father.

[Nicholas Waters]

I hate to say the obvious, but you're dead.

[Nicholas's Father]

Not for much longer. So first, before I explain, what did you think the ritual would do?

[Nicholas Waters]

It was vague, but it seemed like you could be granted knowledge and power. I wanted to understand how the world really worked.

[Nicholas's Father]

Good. I'm glad I kept the ritual vague. Easier that way. So, first off, I'm sorry to say, but Christine is dead.

[Nicholas Waters]

What? No. No, that can't be.

[Nicholas's Father]

I do hope to get through this explanation.

[Nicholas Waters]

It's better if you don't.

[Nicholas's Father]

Or move. That will grow tiresome after a while. Anyway, Christine's dead. She wasn't supposed to know anything about this. My will was very clear. But you can't plan for every eventuality. I designed the ritual specifically for you. She's either dead on the floor of that compound or trapped in some hellish limbo. Which is a shame. I really did love her. She was such an adorable baby. Now, you're almost certainly wondering what this is all about. What my goal was, which. Question for you, Nicholas. How much do you know about your grand.

[Nicholas Waters]

You're insane. You killed Christine. Your own.

[Nicholas's Father]

Oscar Waters, he was something of a Renaissance man, actor, director, writer, man of the world. He was introduced to the esoteric arts when he performed a play called Wing Beats. Afterwards, he devoted his life to study, and when he had me, I joined him. We were devoted to understanding the true nature of the world and gaining power from that understanding. Eventually, we stumbled upon the ritual that would grant immortality. We found the ingredients, the missing components, instructions, all to discover that it only grants a form of immortality. It allows possession. The ability to inhabit the body of someone younger than yourself, which is, in my mind, a good substitute for immortality. Sorry. Would you like some music when we talk? I do enjoy the sound of my own voice, but it can be a bit lacking. San's accompaniment.

[Christine Anderson]

Hmm.

[Nicholas's Father]

Are you familiar with the work of Javier Nichols? Interesting thing about this place. I only need to think of a song for it to play. Lovely. This whole study is just like I remember it. The armchair, the desk, the wonderful little obsidian bust of myself. Back to the subject at hand. My father thought this was a bridge too far. And so he died. I wonder if in his last moments, he regretted his decision. Needless to say, I was not so short sighted as I was young. I had no need for the ritual. I thought it was something to begin in my 60s. But my illness forced my hand. I had not thought to inhabit you. But children are easier. And I had to make sure that someone would actually complete the ritual. After I died, or mostly died, I seeded the esoteric community with stories of how powerful the ritual was. I made its very name, unable to be recorded. I made sure that you were primed to do your part, and things have worked out according to plan. For the most part, Christine wasn't supposed to be involved at all. And the barrier to the city made everything so much more difficult. But then Christine opened a door to horror by drowning herself in a fucking parasite. Listen to your fucking tapes.

[Christine Anderson]

And.

[Nicholas's Father]

But overall, everything worked out. I'll have to kill Dan later, but that shouldn't be too difficult. After all, I have rituals you couldn't even begin to imagine. Now, is everything clear?

[Nicholas Waters]

What's going to happen now?

[Nicholas's Father]

Well, son, this is slightly awkward for me to say, but right now, I'm going to eat your heart. Christine.

[Lou]

There you are.

[Christine Anderson]

Wow.

[Unknown Entity / The Organization]

What?

[Christine Anderson]

Where?

[Lou]

Here's your recorder. The glyph said it was important. Christine?

[Nicholas Waters]

Do you.

[Lou]

Do you remember me?

[Christine Anderson]

I'm sorry, who are you?

[Lou]

It's Lou.

[Nicholas Waters]

We were.

[Lou]

We were shipmates.

[Nicholas Waters]

We.

[Christine Anderson]

I was on a ship.

[Lou]

We found the Ambergris together. Screech. Teddy Sonder. We all worked so hard to bring you back? For the chance to bring you back. The rest of them, they'd be here, but I thought it might overload you.

[Christine Anderson]

So.

[Lou]

Do you remember anything?

[Christine Anderson]

Sorry. You look familiar, but.

[Nicholas Waters]

That's fine.

[Lou]

I expected it. It's all right. Listen, we don't have much time. We had to work very hard to get you here for just a little bit. Now, take this.

[Christine Anderson]

What?

[Lou]

It was your going away. Cat screeches Done know what it was, but we were able to recover it when you left. And turns out it's something like a taser.

[Nicholas's Father]

Kind of.

[Lou]

The glyph said you were to use it on the man behind all this. It wasn't specific. It hurts to use it, but the glyph said it was the only way.

[Christine Anderson]

Lou, what glyph? I'm sorry. This is a lot.

[Lou]

After the ambergris, we all knew that we had to help you come back and. And we found the Vivian Oracle, which led us to. To an everlasting pirate queen, which told.

[Nicholas Waters]

Us to go back.

[Lou]

It's a whole other story, but point is, we found a way to help you. All right.

[Christine Anderson]

Thanks.

[Lou]

Christine. I know you can't remember me, but. All right, you're fading. Please, do what you have to do and come back. We need you. Sonder. Screech Teddy. We need you.

[Nicholas Waters]

You're part of this ship.

[Lou]

I love it.

I know that's a lot to hear.

[Christine Anderson]

But.

[Nicholas's Father]

I know it sounds barbaric, but. Christine, you aren't.

[Christine Anderson]

What the hell are you doing to Nicholas?

[Nicholas's Father]

I.

[Christine Anderson]

What the goddamn shitty hell is going on?

[Nicholas Waters]

It a long story.

[Christine Anderson]

Yeah, well, give me the short version. This really hurts.

[Nicholas Waters]

To operate. The entire ritual was Dad's plan. He wanted to possess my body so he could live again.

[Christine Anderson]

Like a Freaky Friday type deal.

[Nicholas Waters]

It's a little bit more horrific. It somehow involved eating my heart.

[Christine Anderson]

What the hell is wrong with our.

[Mark]

D.

[Nicholas Waters]

Whatever that is, don't let us. If he isn't in pain, he can't paralyze us.

[Christine Anderson]

Well, I don't know how much longer I can hold this. It hurts.

[Nicholas Waters]

What should I do something?

[Christine Anderson]

I can't really think with this thing on.

[Nicholas Waters]

No, no, no, no.

[Nicholas's Father]

Don't do that.

[Nicholas Waters]

I love you, Nicholas. I love you.

[Sponsor Bot]

So sorry.

[Christine Anderson]

Nicholas. That's enough.

[Nicholas Waters]

I can't believe I did that.

[Christine Anderson]

Come here. It's okay. It's okay. It's not your fault.

[Nicholas Waters]

I know. I just. Why didn't.

[Christine Anderson]

It's okay.

[Nicholas Waters]

How did you get the thing you used?

[Christine Anderson]

Some British dude is in love with me.

[Nicholas Waters]

What?

[Christine Anderson]

I think that dream adventure or whatever Was like, kind of involved. It was Super Muppet Treasure Island.

[Nicholas Waters]

You're gonna have to tell me about that.

[Christine Anderson]

I wish I could. I literally don't remember anything. I mean, there are flashes.

[Dan]

Hello. I'm Dan.

[Christine Anderson]

Shit. You're the dude from the tapes. I was expecting like, I don't know, some weird cyborg.

[Dan]

Yeah, well, in this particular little bubble, you don't get a weird cyborg. It's nice to meet you two. I've, well, basically been listening to all of it ever since Christine drowned and opened a door.

[Christine Anderson]

Shit. Yeah. Hi.

[Nicholas Waters]

How much do you know about what our father was planning?

[Dan]

Not enough. I'm sorry. I was looking for a ritual powerful enough for me to. Well, this was the closest one. As soon as I began to suspect something, I tried to send a message to Lou. I'm. I'm guessing that worked.

[Christine Anderson]

Yeah. He was able to help. Who is that guy?

[Dan]

I knew him a while ago. He's gotten a bit more mature. Christine, when you were searching for the ambergris, you spent years with him and his crew. I can't help you remember. But it's true. You were happy.

[Christine Anderson]

Well, shit.

[Nicholas Waters]

What happens now? Dad's ritual didn't work. He was lying about everything.

[Dan]

Yeah, I mean, you're not going to become all powerful or anything, but there's still enough juice for us all to go home anywhere we want. So we don't just end up in the cult's basement. So.

[Christine Anderson]

Wait, wait. I almost forgot. Let me. Melody says hi.

[Mark]

Oh.

[Christine Anderson]

Dude. What does it say?

[Dan]

Oh, just a couple things to do when I get back. So. Nicholas, you killed. Well, you're the one who is in charge right now. If you concentrate, you can send us anywhere. I would really like to go back to New York, so I hope that's not too much of an ask.

[Nicholas Waters]

Who are you? Before I do anything, I want to know who you are.

[Dan]

Nicholas, you can trust me. I'm just. It's a long story.

[Nicholas Waters]

Summarize. Nicholas, I'm not going to trust him for no reason. Christine, I.

[Dan]

Understand your hesitation. Okay, so basically, I listened to a bunch of weird tapes. I got thrown into an extra dimensional world of horror and beauty. I became a tape cyborg. My best friend went back in time in order to perform a magic ritual that would make himself powerful enough to save me. He couldn't get me out fully, so he stuck me in this weird in between place that kind of collects the weird flotsam of the universe. I was able to subtly rework your ritual to simultaneously help you out and free Myself. And I've been listening to the tapes he sent me, along with some general weirdness in between. Sorry. I know that was complicated.

[Christine Anderson]

Pretty sure he would have thought of something more plausible if he was lying.

[Nicholas Waters]

All right, we can go back. Christine.

[Christine Anderson]

How long was I in the alternate dream? Whatever.

[Dan]

A couple years.

[Christine Anderson]

And you said I was. I was happy that I belonged to.

[Dan]

It appeared that way from what I listened to.

[Christine Anderson]

Christine, I know. I can't remember everything. When I saw Lou, I felt. I don't know, at home. I just.

[Nicholas Waters]

Cristine, you can't seriously be considering this.

[Christine Anderson]

They said they need me.

[Nicholas Waters]

That's. I need you, too.

[Christine Anderson]

Do you want to come? Dude, it sounds like it would be an adventure.

[Nicholas Waters]

No. No, that's not. I'm not built that way, Christine.

[Christine Anderson]

I think I am, though. I think I need to go. Dan was able to send a message through. I'm sure I'll be able to.

[Nicholas Waters]

I don't want that. I want my sister. I'm sorry. You really want to do this?

[Christine Anderson]

Yeah.

[Nicholas Waters]

All right. Dan. I just Think of a place and the person can go there.

[Dan]

Well, clear your mind and think about letting go. And Christine, you think of exactly where you want to be. All right?

[Nicholas Waters]

Christine.

[Christine Anderson]

Love you, bro.

[Nicholas Waters]

Love you, sis. She's gone.

[Dan]

I'm sorry.

[Nicholas Waters]

So this is the end?

[Dan]

Well, you won't need to carry your recorder anymore. So, yeah, you can go home, burn your ritual book, forget this ever happened and live a normal life.

[Nicholas Waters]

Excuse me?

[Dan]

You know, go back to New York. Live a normal life. You studied the French Revolution, right? You can probably resume your academic career. I'll tell Melody to keep an eye on you. You get to live a normal life.

[Nicholas Waters]

Why would I want to live a normal life?

[Dan]

Nick?

[Nicholas Waters]

My name is Nicholas.

[Dan]

Nicholas. Are we going to have a problem here?

[Nicholas Waters]

You don't appear to have any other way of coming home other than me, so I'm not sure. Do we have a problem?

[Dan]

I'm not sure what you're saying.

[Nicholas Waters]

I'm not going to burn my ritual book. And I do not intend to stop performing rituals. I promised Static Man I would find him a body, and I intend to keep that promise.

[Dan]

Nicholas, I listened to those tapes. I know he's your friend, but that thing murdered a lot of people.

[Nicholas Waters]

He saved my life and the life of my sister. I'm going to fulfill my obligation. And I started down this path because I was curious. I have not stopped being curious.

[Dan]

Please listen to me. I have waited so long just to be normal again. Just to have one second where the world felt real and. And solid. Don't throw that opportunity away. Doing these things, being a part of these kinds of stories, even by listening, it's not a good idea. It changes you in ways you aren't prepared for.

[Nicholas Waters]

I will not be content with pretending that the world is the way I thought it was.

[Dan]

Okay. Okay, Nick. Are you going to take me through with you?

[Nicholas Waters]

Are you going to leave me alone when I get back?

[Dan]

I'll try to do that.

[Nicholas Waters]

Wonderful. There are things I wish to accomplish. I hope you're able to resume your normal life.

[Dan]

I hope so, too.

[Nicholas Waters]

Then let's head home.

[Sponsor Bot]

Was that ending satisfying for you? Are your greedy minds satiated? I find that with endings, it is difficult to fully.

[Mark]

Hey, everyone, this is Mark. The actual Mark who writes and co produces the show. Not the character I play in Archive 81, although now the character I play is Droman. So, anyway, it's weird. I just thought I'd cut in and talk to you directly without sponsor bot. So everything's 100%, absolutely, crystal clear. Three things Dan and I wanted y' all to know. First off, thank you. Thank you so much, seriously, for listening to this season, for talking about it on Twitter, for making fan art, for supporting us on Patreon. We really couldn't make it without you guys, like, at all. Second, this is not the end of Archive 81. I repeat, there will be more Archive 81. We're working on it right now and we're pretty excited about it. We're actually going to give you some details pretty soon. Which brings me to the third thing. In two weeks, we'll be doing a special season three Q&A episode of the podcast where we'll answer your questions and talk a little bit about our future plans for the show. So if you have any season three related questions, just send us a tweet with said question or ask it on Tumblr or, you know, comment on Facebook. Whatever you like to do. We won't get to everything, but we really, really enjoy cueing your A's. So send us your questions. Yeah, that's pretty much it. Dan and I had a lot of fun making this season and we hope you liked listening to it. As always, an extra special thank you to our Patreon supporters. If you'd like to help us make more of Archive 81, just go to patreon.com archive81 anyway, back to sponsor bot.

[Sponsor Bot]

You're disgusting human flesh in our merchandise by visiting our website. There are even crop tops. I will now say goodbye organics, though not for the last time. I should say I miss you, but I do not. You all repulse me.