After Hours at the Bar! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Summary

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Episode: "After Hours at the Bar! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley"

Date: November 27, 2025
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Special Guest/Producer: Luke Dempsey

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Episode Overview

This "After Hours" episode features hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley—a.k.a. Kippy and Foley—riffing in their signature, unfiltered Philly style, with loose contributions from Luke Dempsey. The episode is a classic “no guest, just the homies” format, packed with hilarious stories, irreverent “garbage vs. classy” judgments, and digressions on everything from Philly family life to dirtbag lunch habits, local fashion faux pas, and the art of being a resourceful trash-ball. Fans of the show will recognize the blend of nostalgia, blue-collar sensibility, and proud self-deprecation that defines the Are You Garbage? universe.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Comedy Life, Touring, and Philly Roots

• Tickets and Merch Drops (00:00-02:05): The guys hype their biggest Philly show, new merch (“you got the garbage, you got the trash, the tuddy, the Bug man”), and a slew of tour dates in cities like Austin, Tampa, and more.
• Dented Can Vibes (02:39): Foley reveals a dented can story; Kevin quips, “You have such dented can vibes as a guy. If a guy was a dented can, it’d be you.” (02:49)
• Childhood & Family Updates (05:20):
  • Kevin reflects on now being a homebody and finding joy in family time:
    “I am finding a lot of solace and comfort...I'm more of a homebody now...just being with your family." (05:23-06:12)
  • Family’s attention to recent radio appearances triggers nostalgia for early influences and parental pride/anxiety.
• The Nature of Success (07:23): Humorous take on fame: “Of all the stuff we’ve accomplished, my friends and family came at Pat texted me, ‘what was it like being in the studio?’” (07:23)

2. Working-Class Anecdotes & Relatable Debris

• UPS Jobs and Seasonal Work (11:08): Foley and Kevin reminisce about friends who worked warehouse and seasonal jobs, with a mock-epic about “Flip” and his pride as a UPS runner, making double-digit hourly wages.
• Dirtbag Cars and Road Adventures (10:07):
  • Kevin: “I’ve had dirt bag car after dirt bag car… at one point we owned three 1995 Chevy Luminas.” (10:07)
  • Dreaming about elaborate pranks, car thefts: “We should steal your car… that wouldn’t be a good prank.” (10:34)
• Childhood Wrestling and Weights (12:23): Lukewarm boasting about high school wrestling weights; discussion of creatine and “bulking up the producer” (Luke).

3. Nostalgia for “Trash” Upbringing

• Dollar Stores Are No More (13:51):
  • Lamenting inflation: “Dollar slices ain’t a dollar no more. This country’s going to hell in a basket.” (13:51)
  • “99 cent stores, not a dollar anymore either—all these tariffs, all these sheriffs.” (14:03)
• Family Garage Chaos (22:18):
  • Foley complains about his family’s garage: “You have a garage. You don’t put it in a garage?” “My brother, my cousin Paul and my cousin Tracy, they all got shit in the garage… couches, paintings, all kinds of stuff.” (22:20)

4. Classic Garbage Moves & Listener Questions

• Heating a Brick for a Car Defroster (19:27):
  • “Is it garbage to heat up a brick and use it as your car’s defroster? ...My buddy microwaves a brick and puts a rag on it on the dashboard and drove to work.” (19:27)
  • H. Foley: “That’s like the pizza stone I know… stone fired.” (19:44)
  • PSA: Don’t microwave bricks—"it absorbs moisture and will crack or explode." (23:06)
• Venmoing Strangers for Merch (24:18):
  • “Is it garbage...to Venmo a stranger to buy concert merch so you don’t wait in line?”
  • Foley: “I would never trust that. Would you let somebody...Venmo you?” (24:51)
  • Ryan: “I kind of like the move… a victimless move.” (25:35)
  • “That shit ain’t flying at an Oasis concert, fuck outta here, mate.” (25:55)

5. Bar Culture & VIP After Hours

• The Holy Grail: Bar Owner Access (32:58):
  • “That was when being close to the owner of the bar was cool...He closed the door, bought a round of car bombs...Being selected for after hours was always good. You might as well be famous.” (32:58-33:33)

6. Fashion Disasters and Nostalgia

• The Israeli Paratrooper Messenger Bag Saga (43:03):
  • Kevin calls out Foley’s dubious claim about a messenger bag:
    "You claim you got it at an army navy surplus; I think you got it at Bradley’s or Old Navy. You used to claim it was an Israeli paratrooper bag.” (43:03-43:21)
• Bomber Jackets & Top Gun Fantasies (53:12):
  • Foley: “I wanted Tom Cruise’s jacket from Top Gun so fucking bad. I thought if I had that jacket and a motorcycle, I could fly an F-14.” (53:10)

7. Lunchbox Lore, Milk Stories & Diet Real Talk

• School Lunches & Cold Coke (41:11):
  • “I was never a milk-at-lunch guy… just doing can of coke wrapped in tinfoil. Sometimes warm. Dude, warm coke, you feel your teeth rotting.” (41:11)
• Milk Brand Allegiances & Egg Snobbery (37:00):
  • Foley questions generic milk and brown eggs:
    “Brown eggs, dude. What am I, fucking Amish?” (37:26)
  • Kevin describes his gradual upgrade from cheap milk and eggs to better products, begrudgingly.
• Philadelphia’s Rosenbergers Memories (38:00):
  • “We don’t talk enough about Rosenbergers… they did iced tea, chocolate milk. Their chocolate milk was banging.” (38:02)

8. Classic Trash Kid Behavior

• Flipping Eyelids and Fart Tricks (58:13):
  • “Is it garbage if you used to flip your eyelids as a kid?”
    “I saw a meme the other day… 9 out of 10 kids that flipped their eyelids are in prison.” (58:29-58:36)
  • Kevin recounts a school friend who could fart on demand, to his and his dad’s amazement.

9. Resourcefulness & Overdrafts: Listener Questions

• Buying Show Tickets With a Dollar Store Gift Card (66:42):
  • Listener says they bought tickets using a Visa gift card from Dollar General because their card was overdrafted.
  • Foley: “Tell you what, whoever you come with, you got two T-shirts waiting for you at the show.” (67:04)
  • Ryan: “That is part of being a true dirtbag—just not accepting where you currently are.” (67:26)

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Notable Quotes and Moments

• “You have such dented can vibes as a guy. If a guy was a dented can, it’d be you.” — Kevin Ryan (02:49)
• "Of all the stuff we’ve accomplished, my friends and family came at Pat texted me, ‘what was it like being in the studio?’” — Kevin Ryan (07:23)
• “Dollar slices ain’t a dollar no more. This country’s going to hell in a basket.” — H. Foley (13:51)
• “We should steal your car… That wouldn’t be a good prank.” — H. Foley (10:34)
• “Is it garbage to heat up a brick and use it as your car’s defroster?” (19:27)
• “That’s like someone walking up to you at an ATM saying, hey, can you break this 20?” — H. Foley (25:55)
• “That was when being close to the owner of the bar was cool...Being selected for after hours was always good. You might as well be famous.” — H. Foley (32:58)
• “You claim you got it at an army navy surplus; I think you got it at Bradley’s… You used to claim it was an Israeli paratrooper bag.” — Kevin Ryan (43:03)
• “Brown eggs, dude. What am I, fucking Amish?” — H. Foley (37:26)
• “I wanted Tom Cruise’s jacket from Top Gun so fucking bad.” — H. Foley (53:10)
• “That is part of being a true dirtbag—not accepting where you currently are.” — Kevin Ryan (67:26)

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Noteworthy Timestamps

• 00:00 – 02:05: Philly show hype, merch, and tour dates
• 02:39 – 03:30: Dented cans, weird can stories, protein shake jokes
• 05:20: Foley and Ryan riff on their evolving family priorities
• 11:08: Warehouse and seasonal job memories
• 13:51: Cost of living and dollar store eulogy
• 22:18: Garage chaos—extended family dumping storage
• 19:27 – 20:08: Microwaving bricks to de-ice the car, safety debate
• 24:18 – 26:43: Venmoing strangers for merch—scam or genius?
• 32:58 – 33:38: Bar owner/VIP after hours nostalgia
• 41:11: Debating cold Coke, lunch methods, school memories
• 43:03 – 43:41: Messenger bag origins debunked
• 53:10: Top Gun jacket obsession, fashion aspirations
• 58:13 – 59:04: Trashy kid tricks: eyelid flipping, farting on demand
• 66:42 – 67:53: Listener uses Dollar General gift card for tickets—a new dirtbag classic

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Tone & Atmosphere

Irreverent, self-deprecating, and affectionate toward working-class/“trashy” roots. The hosts mix Philly and Northeast blue-collar wit with a genuine love for nostalgia, bar life, and low-rent resourcefulness. Nothing is too “garbage” for honest reflection—and everything is up for a comedic thrashing.

Remember:
“Flush a wipe. Who cares?” — H. Foley (66:12)

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Summary

With no guest and few pretense, Kippy and Foley revel in the rituals and hacks of northeast dirtbag culture—dented cans, egg snobbery, crossing the boundary between thrifty and trash, and enduring family dysfunction with humor and heart. Listener submissions inspire debates on morality, resourcefulness, and pridefully unclassy behavior. Laughs abound over Philly nostalgia, crumbling dollar stores, and the universal struggle to appear cooler (and more solvent) than you actually are.

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For New Listeners

If you’ve ever:

• Argued over hygiene at lunch,
• Flipped your eyelids as a child,
• Thought about microwaving a brick,
• Or used a Dollar General Visa card to overcome an overdraft,

...then, as the boys would say:
“You’re garbage. But you’re our kind of garbage.”

Transcript

[H. Foley]

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. We are giving away free VIP packages to come back and meet me at Kippy after the show. Get a little merch, enjoy yourself, and hang out with me and Kippy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, we're going to be backstage. You just have to purchase your tickets before December 1st. Click the link in the description to sign up, and we're going to announce the winners. We'll see you there. Love you. Are you garbage.com? yeah.

[H. Foley]

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are you Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy, individual, or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RU Garbage.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[H. Foley]

It's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that if they grow up to be classy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Just a big old piece of trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

Trash, trash, trash.

[H. Foley]

I'm your host, H. Foley. Coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition.

[Kevin Ryan]

You.

[H. Foley]

She just told me she just had a protein shake.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay?

[H. Foley]

Mike Coase is coming at you from across the table. He is the CEO of Are youe Garbage? He's an international businessman, father of the year. And when he walks through a Home Depot, they all kneel. Cause he's a king of the barbs, baby. Give it up for kj, Kevin, James Ryan, everyone.

[Kevin Ryan]

What up, gang? Shout out to ya. As always, thanks for tuning in. Please make sure you rate review subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. And. And the boys are in the middle of the charts. That's where we belong. We're not showing off. We're not making headlines.

[H. Foley]

We're not making moves on anybody.

[Kevin Ryan]

But we're not.

[H. Foley]

We're there.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're not falling behind. We're at the party. We're having a good time. You look over. We're vibing. We're vibe, guys.

[H. Foley]

Philly show.

[Kevin Ryan]

Philly show.

[H. Foley]

Big show.

[Kevin Ryan]

Big show in Philadelphia. Obviously, we've been plugging the balls off of that. We want that to be a fucking hum. A dinghy.

[H. Foley]

Yes, sir.

[Kevin Ryan]

Biggest show we've ever done. And then if you haven't seen the post, the email address.

[H. Foley]

New merch drop.

[Kevin Ryan]

New merch. Holy shit. I forgot about the boys. Got a lot going on over here. Got the new merch drop.

[H. Foley]

Got the garbage. You got the trash. Trash, trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're just making stuff up. You got the tuddy. It's all just things in our world. You got the Bug man. We do go check out the merch obviously on the website. And then we just announced a whole slew of new shows, daddy. Oh, we got Austin, Texas. We got Tampa, Florida. We got Chicago, we got Bloomington, we got Nashville. We got Pittsburgh, we got Cleveland. Get your techies. The boys are hanging some club weekends in there. Boys are doing. Looking forward to hanging out.

[H. Foley]

Doing a club like real comics. Get to go out on a Saturday during the day, see the town, have lunch.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just back to lunch. Get it Omelette.

[H. Foley]

By the way, I didn't realize I have a dented can.

[Kevin Ryan]

I. Dude, I saw. I don't. Did you dent that or no?

[H. Foley]

No, that didn't. You are.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude, you are. You have such dented can vibes as a guy. If a guy was a dented can, it'd be you.

[H. Foley]

Dented can and crooked. He remember that one I pulled out at the airport the other day?

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude, I looked.

[H. Foley]

It was like right before the firing squad.

[Kevin Ryan]

Looked like a piece of lost luggage.

[H. Foley]

By the way, I just saw the executed a guy by firing squad. They're still doing it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can you. Do you get a blindfold meter some places you can chew that you at least not. Yeah, like a Mad Libs.

[H. Foley]

But can I drink this or is this gonna have botulism in it?

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean?

[H. Foley]

I don't know. They're bad.

[Kevin Ryan]

Botulism will kill whatever you got going on. Um.

[H. Foley]

Taste the tetanus flavor.

[Kevin Ryan]

Rabies.

[H. Foley]

I'm scared of rabies.

[Kevin Ryan]

Some places I think there's still like on the books that you can say I want to go this way, but I don't think you really can.

[Luke Dempsey]

You can.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, you can.

[H. Foley]

You can decide.

[Luke Dempsey]

I think there's a short list of ways to go and firing squad is one of them.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's the. Where is this state by state? Because not every state.

[Luke Dempsey]

This is in South Carolina.

[H. Foley]

Probably muskets. Can I choose to get fucked to death?

[Kevin Ryan]

I want to do death by Huey.

[H. Foley]

I meant the other way, but all right. Nothing on that.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's pretty. I.

[H. Foley]

And how'd you not get the tutti A protein shake? Because you're a dad. You're an old man. You don't like rock and roll no more. What do you think I mean? She just had a protein shake.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know.

[Luke Dempsey]

I just gave it to you.

[H. Foley]

You get it? Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Look at Luke. It's a beach. Yeah. Why is that a.

[H. Foley]

That's what they say semen is. It's protein.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, I don't know what kind of circles you're running in. But I'm running a clean ship over here. I run a clean shop, all right?

[H. Foley]

That's a missionary man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, I don't know. You're doing your snowballs on a weekend. I'm over here.

[H. Foley]

Do you have a crucifix above the bed now that you're a dad?

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Little palm on the door. You do.

[Kevin Ryan]

You do get. You do understand the.

[H. Foley]

Man. Wait till he gets older and you're yelling at him and get in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wait.

[H. Foley]

Scrub them elbows I hit him with.

[Kevin Ryan]

Where the hell you going? Rolling all over the place.

[H. Foley]

You walk.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know. He knows. He knows.

[H. Foley]

He's rolling around. Oh, yeah, like barrel rolls.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I used to love that.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got a big head and you fucking something. You go, you should be rolling straight. But he's like. He's got like a. He's got like a. You know, the tire pressure's bad or something.

[H. Foley]

Like a drift car, like the sprint.

[Kevin Ryan]

He keeps going in circles, you know what I mean? His head stay. His head is the access. And he walks around at.

[H. Foley]

Man. Do you watch 60 Minutes every night now?

[Kevin Ryan]

Sundays I don't. But I do have to be honest with you. I am finding a lot of solace and comfort in knowing that, like, I'm a home. More of a homebody now. You know what I mean? It's nice to like, I suppose to.

[H. Foley]

Your extravagant nightlife that you were living before.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oak Room. I was just popping bottles. We just did these jokes to you. You can't fucking flip it to me. I can't believe I'm walking around New Orleans having an ice cream cone. You really. You really romanticize your. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying. Yeah, I just. I find a lot of, you know, I'm not worried about the running around as spots, the having beers with my.

[H. Foley]

Jerk off, chasing skirts around. You got to grow up.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's just a lot of, you know, you. You find the joy in just being with your family. You know what I mean?

[H. Foley]

That's key.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. Got that. And we're big. You know what I'm talking about, right? Your family still answer your phone calls?

[H. Foley]

They're looking for tickets for that Philly show.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, sure, I did. I. I've mentioned a little bit. But I do want to say we did. Was it a couple, whatever, two weeks ago. We did Preston and Steve.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, man. Good time.

[Kevin Ryan]

And that was a show. I grew up in a pickup. I mean, like from my 20s when I was working for my family, you know, driving a pickup truck. I was Listening to Preston's Dan. I mean that was the first time I heard about Burr Kreischer. I was sitting at Busselton in Street Road and he had. I'm like this guy, he was telling the machine story. I called up my boy, I said we gotta get friggin tickets.

[H. Foley]

That's what he was doing those daytime shows right.

[Kevin Ryan]

We did not get tickets. We just ended up getting fucked up at the Richborough Pub I think but.

[H. Foley]

Pros that precedent Steve. Yeah sharp bang bang, bang, back and forth.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh. And it would. Dude, my mom, my mom. Did I tell you Denise called me. I heard your show on a radio.

[H. Foley]

You're on a radio this morning.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know, I'm like given dude. Those guys are awesome. I love that. And it's just so funny that they're like of all of the stuff we've accomplished. My friends and family came at Pat texted me, goes what was it like being in the studio? I got the five talking about I think it was cool but still.

[H. Foley]

What dude, the hell's this dump?

[Kevin Ryan]

My mom, I. She called me again yesterday. I told you I heard this show. I go you're looking for money or something? What does that pay for it? What? Letting her be. She wants 10%.

[H. Foley]

How? Let me find out. She's slipping. However. On the phone with you. Henry and I have been married for 12 years. Send you off to boarding school. Tell you that right now. I have a good idea for a Christmas present for you. I'm gonna get you a subscription to the newspaper.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh.

[H. Foley]

So you can walk down to the end of the sidewalk and get it and then bitch.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why would I have a subscription? I still gotta go get the fucking thing.

[H. Foley]

No, they throw it in the driveway.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh oh. In the.

[H. Foley]

I'm specifically hire a paperboy to throw it in the wrong place. God damn. In the bushes. So you gotta walk down in your robe. I get your robe too.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not a rogue guy. I don't look good in a robe. I'm too wide. It don't look good. It doesn't cinch. Well negligee, a nightie, something which by.

[H. Foley]

The way can I tell you this?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know where this is going.

[H. Foley]

I was over at Five Below the other day. Okay.

[Luke Dempsey]

A lot of good lingerie there. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I swear to God.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's also like you're making fun of my rock star lifestyle. I was over if. What the hell is a guy like you get my vitamins getting do it at Five Below.

[H. Foley]

I was getting vitamins.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's where they take kids once they see. That's how you start potty training kids. Hey, if you go in a potty, I'll take you to five below so I can start doing to you.

[H. Foley]

I was with some people.

[Kevin Ryan]

Stop peeing on the floor.

[H. Foley]

But they had these Christmas like pajamas for broads and they're like skimpy short shorts and like a little top.

[Kevin Ryan]

You like that too, didn't you?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

So I bought 3 pair.

[H. Foley]

No 5x. Squeeze my little ass in there. Any who gang. This is what we call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos and the homies. Just the way we like it. Especially around the holiday season.

[Kevin Ryan]

As a quick downshift. You just did throw. Throwing a brake retard. Fucking double clutch drop. Pull the E brake.

[H. Foley]

I always wanted to pull the E brake. I always wanted my brakes not to work so I could pull the E brake.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've had to do that.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

And remember when the.

[H. Foley]

Remember somebody cut your brakes? I slapped people off.

[Kevin Ryan]

I thought it was my stepdad for a long time. Remember my brakes went in Montego. We went on a road trip. Remember that?

[H. Foley]

That was wear and tear.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. He inspect it sat for a long time. And then these.

[H. Foley]

They sound like the fucking Titanic hitting the iceberg.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean we've talked about it, but that was my Montego was the. I mean I. I've had dirt bag car after dirt bag car. The Lumina i2 luminaries. I wrapped one around the telephone pole and then replaced it with the same exact car. My brother also. So at one point we owned three 1995 Chevy Luminas. Two white ones and a silver one or a powder blue.

[H. Foley]

I might take that one off your hands.

[Kevin Ryan]

What one?

[H. Foley]

The one you got.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, you're not.

[H. Foley]

I might.

[Kevin Ryan]

I love that thing.

[H. Foley]

I steal it, neighbors hate it, hotwire.

[Kevin Ryan]

It, go for it.

[H. Foley]

That'd be fun. I should. We should steal your car. I mean, that wouldn't be a good prank.

[Kevin Ryan]

100% right?

[H. Foley]

What are you going to do half asleep in your rocking chair? Old man Ryan in there. I got no kids. I'm out there with a couple of fucking Kia boys. I'm still out there living dog smoking K2.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, still out there living. You're hanging out at the 5 below.

[H. Foley]

I wasn't hanging out there. I was shopping.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was asking for a job application. They need seasonal work.

[H. Foley]

Seasonal work.

[Kevin Ryan]

Seasonal work. That's. Let's dude Flip. Shout out. Flip. Flip would do seasonal work for ups and we might as well thought he was the goddamn CEO. He would show up. I'm making $14. That was when we were all making eight. Whatever nine. He was making like double digit. And he was the runner. He would run from the truck to the house. Truck to the house. And he would come and complain about.

[H. Foley]

Truck to the house. Truck to the house.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. So the driver wouldn't have to park. Get out, find it. He was like. He would go in the back, find it. Pull up to like 1, 2, 3. Fucking.

[H. Foley]

I guess Cotton used to work in the warehouse.

[Kevin Ryan]

Warehouse work is not bad.

[H. Foley]

He had his belt. Ever wear a belt?

[Kevin Ryan]

The weight the. Like the lifting belt?

[H. Foley]

Yeah. No. Do you ever wear a belt to the gym? No. Or use the straps? I know Luke does.

[Luke Dempsey]

I did. You wore in high school.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hold up your thong underwear. What are you talking about?

[H. Foley]

Really into powerlifting to shake weight.

[Kevin Ryan]

Powerlifting. He's got two shake weight. He's double dicking it.

[H. Foley]

Doing the thigh Master at the same time. What are you talking about?

[Luke Dempsey]

Taking a lot of creatine.

[H. Foley]

You were creatine?

[Luke Dempsey]

Yeah. No, I was actually. That was the only time I got up to 180 in my entire life was junior year of high school school for like six months.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're like the junior year of high school. You were 180. Then I got into fourth grade. Foley was 180.

[H. Foley]

Actually high school. I was 180. Yeah. Senior year, high school in wrestling I was 180. 171. Actually. I had to make 171. Didn't. They didn't have me wrestle 189.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, behind the glory years. No one asked and actually didn't sky the Scott McFadden broke his ankle and we had to.

[H. Foley]

How was that kid's name? Sophomore year that broke his shoulder and I had to start wrestling varsity. I got up after the match. What do you got for me?

[Kevin Ryan]

Nothing.

[H. Foley]

You continue down your.

[Kevin Ryan]

Your long line.

[H. Foley]

Hey, we're in Q4 here. What do you got?

[Kevin Ryan]

What Q4. Did you just learn that or something? You've been dropping the Q quarters.

[Luke Dempsey]

I think I said it too.

[H. Foley]

I know. It's Christmas bonus time. I knew it. Hey, just talking a couple of numbers a couple days ago about you gentlemen.

[Kevin Ryan]

He was trying to lowball everybody.

[H. Foley]

He's got it. I just got you that race car. Bought Luke a little toy at 5 below $19.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would not blame. I would see 5 below doing that where like then they start going.

[H. Foley]

It's always the.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do they do that now or still everything's five below. No, no.

[H. Foley]

None of them Dollar slices ain't a dollar no more. This country is going to hell in a basket.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm okay with no longer dollar slices. What times these days. I mean dollar slice. The fact that they were making 99 cent stores.

[H. Foley]

Not a dollar anymore either. All these tariffs, all these sheriffs.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, well, that's neither here nor that. What do you have on.

[Luke Dempsey]

Most items in the main section are five below, but now you can have five beyond. With sections up to $25.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's pretty good.

[H. Foley]

Don't cut the dojos a splinter. Luke Dempsey, everybody.

[Kevin Ryan]

Over there in the corner of the Dempsey group.

[Luke Dempsey]

I would like a weight belt for Christmas.

[H. Foley]

Get you £40. We should bulk you up.

[Luke Dempsey]

I've been trying, man.

[H. Foley]

Let's get you on steroids.

[Luke Dempsey]

Thought that was gonna happen when I joined this team. I was gonna gain some weight.

[H. Foley]

Let's get you on steroids. I got a Winstrel guy.

[Luke Dempsey]

I would like that. You'd be like my trainer.

[Kevin Ryan]

Get you jacked up.

[H. Foley]

You need ice cream. That's what Christian Bale did for Batman. He had a lot of ice cream.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what they said.

[H. Foley]

And he's pumping iron.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Luke Dempsey]

Had a pint last night.

[H. Foley]

You did?

[Luke Dempsey]

I did.

[H. Foley]

What'd you have?

[Luke Dempsey]

I had that new Ben and Jerry's. Like they've been doing a little bit of whip something on the top and a New York cheesecake. Chocolate. It was great.

[H. Foley]

He's such a bitch. It's crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why? You just don't like him.

[H. Foley]

I love him. You don't like me?

[Kevin Ryan]

Nah. You know, you just leaned to me and said, he's such a bitch. I would argue a microphone. I know. He whispered it like he wasn't going to hear. Like he's. He's got to edit this. He's got to listen. He's got to listen to you. Call him a like five times.

[H. Foley]

It's all foo foo shit with him. He's never up the middle. Breyers and some fucking Hershey syrup is what you need. I'm going to do grocery shopping for you, get you straightened out.

[Luke Dempsey]

We've evolved. We've evolved as a species.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. What do you listen. You act like you're not doing. Just stop with this. You really.

[H. Foley]

The finer things.

[Kevin Ryan]

You really claim you're one guy when you're not that guy.

[H. Foley]

I like a cold phone.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure you're not that guy, pal.

[H. Foley]

I like a cold phone.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're not that guy. Okay?

[H. Foley]

I am not.

[Kevin Ryan]

You really judge everybody. You live in a glass house that.

[H. Foley]

You'Re behind on rent There's a guy that lives in my building that's so scary he would me up. He's not nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure, maybe you're not nice.

[H. Foley]

His wife said nine piece.

[Luke Dempsey]

You're trying to hide from the debt collector in your glass house. I can see you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, you're in there.

[H. Foley]

That's a hologram, dickhead. I'm doing very well.

[Kevin Ryan]

I see you're reading the shut off notice.

[H. Foley]

Hit me up again. But talk about hollow socks.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hollow Socks.

[H. Foley]

You know what stinks when you got regular socks on? Your feet are freezing. In the wintertime or in the summertime, you got regular socks on and your feet are all sweaty. What you need is hollow socks to get yourself straightened out. That's the way I'm going. We're talking about premium alpaca boot socks built for cold mornings, long days on your feet and everything in between.

[Kevin Ryan]

Got ultra soft, baby. Alpaca fiber.

[H. Foley]

That's a good stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a. I mean alpaca.

[H. Foley]

You block that shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

We got thermoregulating, warm, below freezing, comfortable when it warms up. Three times warmer than wool without the bulkiness. It's got moisture managing your feet stay dry instead of sweating, stewing in sweat. Durable, no itch. Built for daily wear. And real boots, not just desk socks. Baby, we're talking running and gunning. You put these boots, you put these socks on, you can do whatever the heck you want.

[H. Foley]

You know they sent them.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's that?

[H. Foley]

They sent two pair.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure you kept both of them?

[H. Foley]

I get one to my brother.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Got a random text out of nowhere. These are the best socks I've ever had. Swear to God.

[Kevin Ryan]

For a limited time, Hollow Socks is having a buy two, get two free sale. Head to Hollowsocks.com today to check it out. That's hollow socks for up to 50% off your order. After your purchase, they're gonna ask you how you heard about them. Tell them the boys sent you. Support the show. Are you garbage?

[H. Foley]

Do it, kid. We got talking about Rocket Money.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to Rocket Money.

[H. Foley]

You got a lot of subscriptions that you don't know about, gang. Do yourself a favor. Go over Rocket Money and get rid of them. Especially around the holiday season. You want to have a little extra scratch, right? You don't want to be sending money to who knows who.

[Kevin Ryan]

Take some stuff off the books.

[H. Foley]

Take some stuff off the books in Q4 before the end of the year. That's how we do it around here. Right, Kippy?

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and Cancel your unwanted subscription monitors your spending, and it helps lower your bill so you can grow your savings. Listen, I didn't use it until they were. Until they were a sponsor. I got on. It's one of my favorite things. You get your. You get your weekly email. Hey, this is what you spent this much below, this much above what you've done last week. You have these upcoming charges pending. It gets every. It gets all your ducks in a row for you. There's no surprises. That's the worst thing. Especially when you're. You got a tightrope, you got a tight budget, you're figuring stuff out. You need every day matters. And then you get hit with some charge you weren't expecting. Jam up the whole weekend and. Or holiday season. Rocket Money has saved users over $2.5 billion, including 800, $880 million in canceled subscriptions alone. Their 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use all of the apps premium features. I was signed up for some. Some European fighting thing that. That I didn't know was banging me out every month. Bada bing, bada boom. They figure it out. Take them, cancel your own subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com garbage a day. That's RocketMoney.com garbage RocketMoney.com garbage do it. Yeah, let's get into it here, please. Speaking of jammed up, this is King without a castle. $10, homie and jammed up winner.

[H. Foley]

What do you got?

[Kevin Ryan]

Is it garbage to heat up a brick and use it as your car's defroster? A buddy of mine microwaves a brick and puts a rag on it on the dashboard and drove to work. What a legend.

[H. Foley]

Whoa. Very, very artisanal. That's like the pizza stone I know.

[Kevin Ryan]

Stone fired.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, because that holds, right?

[H. Foley]

That holds. You cook a burger on that when you get to work.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can you microwave a brick, though? Doesn't it need moisture or something?

[H. Foley]

There's moisture in it, and there's no metal in it. All it is is water and sand and some kind of red dye.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, Flintstone, zip it.

[H. Foley]

What is a brick anyway?

[Kevin Ryan]

You just told me. What do you mean? That's a. What's a brick made of king of you? Oh, Brooks. Just this.

[H. Foley]

What's the difference between brick and concrete?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know.

[H. Foley]

You. Mr. Construction said you were driving around in your pickup truck.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. I don't know why we're so at the cereal.

[H. Foley]

That pissed me off. The second you said it. Oh, yeah, you drove a pickup truck. You were in the back freezing your ass off with some stray dog.

[Kevin Ryan]

You could tell by the leg. You said, drive that really?

[H. Foley]

Probably a Toyota.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was a Dodge 25 Honda jacked up. We bought it a used and never put new tires on it.

[H. Foley]

Their radios are always weird in those Dodges.

[Luke Dempsey]

The old.

[Kevin Ryan]

The dial, I love that, dude. You could really fine tune the. It was great. And I'd be sitting there listening to Preston. I remember Nick Depala was saying something so funny that I had to pull over the road and pull over to the side of the road in Marlton, Jersey. They asked. They asked him what it was. This was in the lean years of stand up comedy before, like, you know.

[H. Foley]

It was like late 90s.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, like mid 2000s.

[H. Foley]

Okay. Yeah, I remember exactly.

[Kevin Ryan]

They asked them what a tough, you know, like, what's the big gig to get now? And, you know, used to be the Tonight show or whatever. What's the big gig now? Because I don't know. Healthcare killed me, killed me, killed me. I don't know. Health care.

[H. Foley]

You ever drop anything on the road? Drop materials on a road?

[Kevin Ryan]

No. Our famous last words, where we put the ratchet strap on Shake and go. That ain't going nowhere. And ratchet trap, the ratchet strap.

[H. Foley]

Oh, I hate those things.

[Kevin Ryan]

Which I found out they found like a. I could never really. I never really knew how they worked. But there's like a new, like, there's like a mechanical one that's like all together and you kind of just zip. Zip. Where? Like I had to like string it and loop it and your fucking hands are freezing.

[H. Foley]

Every. Oh, every year we had to do. We have to do that with the furniture in the back on the deck. We closed down the Patty, closes down the pool. She fucking puts a tarp over all the lawn furniture and sticks it to the side like a resort waiting for a hurricane. And I gotta fucking strap it to.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like, you have a garage. You don't put it in a garage.

[H. Foley]

Hey, get the car in there. She got the pool filter. Plus my brother, my cousin Paul and my cousin Tracy, they all got shit in the garage. You start charging these motherfuckers rent, couches, paintings, all kinds. All kinds of stuff in there. You know who's got to organize that? Every time he goes home, I'm getting yelled at. I gotta put the filter over here. This over there told us turn that into a gym. I get in there, start working out.

[Kevin Ryan]

You and Luke bulk up, telling you, well, if that's what's stopping you from working out 98 miles away. I told you, if my mom let me turn it turn a garage into a gym, I'd be jacked right now.

[H. Foley]

What's the brick made of?

[Luke Dempsey]

A brick is made of clay. Fired clay. Concrete block is a mixture of cement, sand, and gravel.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's all the same shit.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Luke Dempsey]

You should not microwave a brick.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why?

[Luke Dempsey]

Because it absorbs moisture and will crack or explode.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that can't. Dude, the microwave. I remember the first time I put. I forgot to put. I was trying to make chocolate milk with oats.

[H. Foley]

Things are volatile.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I put a glass in without water. Why I forgot, I don't know. Like, I just put the powder in and forgot to put the milk in it. Microwave, man. It shattered. I was so scared my dad was gonna scream at me. I didn't know what to do.

[H. Foley]

Those early microwaves were fucking a menace. I remember the first one we had. It was the size of, like, that tv. It was huge. The thing was hanging off our. Off our kitchen counter like. Like three inches. Man. That thing fuck you up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Cook a turkey in there, dude.

[H. Foley]

Cook your hair.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's see here. What?

[H. Foley]

Cook your hair. Sweep that under the rug.

[Kevin Ryan]

This one's from Brian. Trashy spelling B, B R Y A N, B, R Y O N. What the heck is.

[H. Foley]

What are you, a lord from Scotland?

[Kevin Ryan]

I thought it was Byron, but it's Brian.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that's bad.

[Kevin Ryan]

First time a new Patreon is a garbage. To pretend like you're just looking at the merchandise before committing to a long line at a concert. Then you strike up a conversation with the guy next to you in line and what shirt they like. Hey, what are you looking at? What one do you like? Then before they step to the counter, ask them if I, Venmo or Cash app you the money, will you buy my shirt so I don't have to wait in this long line? But to keep it classy, I always throw in a couple extra bucks to grab a beverage of their choice. Those lines can jam you up for like an hour.

[H. Foley]

Oh, that's got scam written all over it. I would never trust that. Would you let somebody you didn't know Venmo you? I'll Venmo you.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, what do you think, Venmo? What do you think they're going to do? What they Venmo you?

[H. Foley]

I don't know. I mean, Venmo you a dollar, and then all of a sudden, they're taking thousands of dollars out of your Account.

[Kevin Ryan]

You do not have hundreds, 10 bucks.

[H. Foley]

Hundreds, about 115 a check in.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I mean like I. You.

[H. Foley]

You're under plus, then they know your Venmo.

[Kevin Ryan]

But what does that mean?

[H. Foley]

I don't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

Venmo is not gonna let like, Venmo is the safeguard. Not that say they're not. There's not flaws or whatever, they can't be hacked.

[H. Foley]

But like, trust me, they're very sticklers about shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

If someone has your Venmo, they can't just like. It's not like they have your bank account information.

[H. Foley]

I know.

[Kevin Ryan]

I kind of like the move. I don't. This is a victimless, A victimless move to me here.

[H. Foley]

I don't. I can't see you warming up to that.

[Kevin Ryan]

If somebody. I would do it. I'm just saying I don't. If. If that happened in front of me, I'd go, it's one transaction, I'm here. What's there? That. There's no.

[H. Foley]

I guess I could see it like a Dead show or the Fish where it's like that community vibe, like, hey man, get my shirt and I'll buy you an ipa, man. Like that. That shit ain't flying at a fucking Oasis concert. Fuck out of here, mate. Buy your own T shirt. That's like someone walking up to you at an ATM saying, hey, can you break this 20? Did that happen to you?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I was in the Czech Republic. That was a little friggin different. Hey, buddy. English.

[H. Foley]

New Big Pocket scammers.

[Kevin Ryan]

Gamers. Yeah, I mean, listen, that's a. That's fine to me. If both parties are consenting adults, I'm totally okay with sure.

[H. Foley]

Definitely trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean it's a respect to move, dirt bag move. But you know, if they say no to say no. If they say, yeah, they say, yeah.

[H. Foley]

Beverage, I'll buy you a beer.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nobody says, I'll send you the money.

[H. Foley]

Huh.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's like, that's completely fine.

[H. Foley]

I could see. Hey, I wonder if he goes to wait in line to get the. I'll go grab us a couple of beers. How about that?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's not bad.

[H. Foley]

That's a bit.

[Kevin Ryan]

And one thing I do like about the new. I mean it's probably cutting down on jobs and it's like. But you can just go buy at a lot of places now. A lot of like venues and they're like, you know, stadiums and stuff like that. You can just walk up, grab your beers and like walk like self pay walk out. Which for like, if you're just grabbing two Beers. There's no need to wait in line. And we were at the last Birds game.

[H. Foley]

Mm.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was just going to like a self checkout, grabbing two beers from the fridge and there's like a guy standing there just like overseeing it, making sure.

[H. Foley]

You don't walk out with him.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, but that's. I mean, like that's what it should be, huh? Right? Instead of waiting in line for fucking 90 minutes.

[H. Foley]

I thought they were gonna chip us all so we could just walk out of the store.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't mind that either. Chip me up.

[H. Foley]

Take a chip.

[Luke Dempsey]

Yeah, our college bar started like the last year selling like just pounders for like just cash at like the front away from the bar. So when the bar was too packed.

[Kevin Ryan]

You could just go get pounders. That's what. That's.

[H. Foley]

And stay in the bar.

[Luke Dempsey]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Wow.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's the move down at Keenan's too. Like big, big places like that, you go to like the beer tub girl, you know what I mean? My one boy, I don't want to. I mean he fell in love with the beer tub, but like fell in love and then I think she ended up dating someone else or something. I was like, it was a. It was a. It was a web. But he was like, yeah, she's hitting me up. And we were like, dude, we are talking a North Wild Keenan's beer tub girl. As hot and trashy as you could get. You know what I mean? I'm talking somewhere from like Abington or something.

[H. Foley]

Nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

But Tracy, two words.

[H. Foley]

Kid @ home.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, we were young. We were still in the college.

[H. Foley]

Kid at home.

[Kevin Ryan]

Kid at college. Yeah, I wish I remember just being like, you know, he was over tipping her hanging out there. Yeah, I'll go. He was. I'll go get the beers.

[H. Foley]

I love that. Falling in love in the moment though, I'm like enthralled by like a bartender or something like that sure fades very quickly.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I just. Listen, I've. I've been in a lot of, you know, regular bars with a lot of people close to me, not close to me and like, you know, you know, working construction or whatever, you know, Friday you or whatever you go for happy hour and just to see every dude operate the same with like the quasi hot bartender who's like, hey, don't Stacy to be a bitch, you know what I mean? Over tipping. Oh, you're. Oh, you're bad. As they like walk away.

[H. Foley]

That girl hates your fucking guy. I. I mean, not you personally.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, maybe.

[H. Foley]

Do you remember that?

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember my dad Doing that and.

[H. Foley]

See, Dad's got a little swag, though.

[Kevin Ryan]

From what I remember.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. You've met him once.

[H. Foley]

Sharp guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember you being like.

[H. Foley]

I knew he was a good looking older dude. I only need to see that once. Had the stache and the hair and the jeans. He's probably closing deals. As long as your fat little ass wasn't jamming up the works. Taking you out as a wingman. Yikes. Couple of quarters, hamburger on your face. Got mayonnaise in your hair. Get away from me. Say your son now. Did you ever do that? Those.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're an idiot.

[H. Foley]

Some evidence to support that. Do you ever do those shows that we did for a minute. Excuse me. Out in.

[Kevin Ryan]

I forgot. When Foley was the comedy kingpin setting up these great gigs for everybody.

[H. Foley]

It was out in Ridley at that sports bar. I want to say the guy that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ran right next to the fridge. The stage was right next to the fridge.

[H. Foley]

Maybe the bartenders wore Foot Locker shirts. They wore refs uniforms.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't think so.

[H. Foley]

Hot chicken. One of those. It was that guy that. The guy that taught classes at Helium. The guy that taught comedy classes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Trackman.

[H. Foley]

Yes, Brad Trackman. Put them together, I think. Or maybe he was just the headliner on one of the shows and he was out there that time. You don't remember that bar?

[Kevin Ryan]

Was it like a shotgun? Like there was no showroom? It was just in the bar.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, you're out at the bar. There was like two bars next to each other. Like two, like round bars.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, this wasn't. I don't remember that.

[H. Foley]

Huh. Before your time, Amy. Well, that was one of those bars where it was like. They were like strippers. They were so hot and so smoky and mysterious. So Ridley and Delco. Yeah, and they had a bunch of mouth breathers just hanging in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, it's like tough when you see. I remember somebody. I said to my stepdad. I think it was my stepdad or my dad hung on a lot of bars, but these guys. But I every. We were there and I go. Every time I'm there, this guy sitting here, like the same guy across the bar.

[H. Foley]

Your dad said this?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I said this to my dad. I believe it was my dad or my staff. Forget one of them. I got one of the positive male smoking and drinking role models in my life.

[H. Foley]

Just think that guy's thing every time I come in and fat kids here.

[Kevin Ryan]

That'S what they say. That's what my stepdad goes. He's saying the same fucking thing every time I'm here. I see this for these fucking, these momos. And that's when it hit me of like, oh, I'm the. I'm not better than any of these people. Not that I thought I was better, but like, you think you're different.

[H. Foley]

Well, you're a little better. You were 12.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, but even.

[H. Foley]

I mean, all life had you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Doubtful.

[H. Foley]

Guy's 87. He's leaving tips and quarters.

[Kevin Ryan]

There you go.

[H. Foley]

Drinking it through that thing in his throat.

[Kevin Ryan]

I told you. We were at the pub being biggest fear. Me and Pat for happy hour. And there was this guy, he, like, worked there and he had a real bad haircut. He goes, I see you got your Dallas. He said, I told you. He said to the guy across the bar, this drunk, nobody. He didn't like anybody goes, I see you still got your Dallas Cowboy jersey on. And not even look it up. He goes, I see you still got your little boy haircut. And it fucking leveled the place, dude. Leveled the place. Me and Pat shit ourselves laughing, dude.

[H. Foley]

Little boy.

[Kevin Ryan]

That. That was when you were hanging and being close to the owner of the bar was cool. That was the coolest you could be. They go, I don't want to. You know, fucking Jimmy. Jimmy showed. And then we were. After you left. Jimmy showed. Closed the door. Bought around the car. Bombs. Yeah, I'm all pissed.

[H. Foley]

Bombs.

[Kevin Ryan]

What I went to get chicken fingers.

[H. Foley]

Being selected for happy hour or for after hours was always good.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was to me.

[H. Foley]

And watching people get yanked out of.

[Kevin Ryan]

You might as well be famous. That's like, you're on the list. Yeah, you're a. And I know so and so. So and so.

[H. Foley]

Guys, we're closing up. You guys are cool. Stay here.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hang out for me.

[H. Foley]

I'm there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Fire up that fry. Later.

[H. Foley]

My buddy who I went to high school with did well, I think in construction, and he driving a truck and he.

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh.

[H. Foley]

He. He bought a bar in. In Ambler. And I remember, I don't know, late 20s, early 30s, back in town. He would. He would get to hang out in the office. You and a couple of the boys could go into the office and hang.

[Kevin Ryan]

Out back there, AKA Coketown, Sitting on an empty keg. What are you talking about?

[H. Foley]

Weather outside is frightful. No, you go in there, hang out, and it was always cool. Yeah. You felt like you were famous.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, my brother does that. You go anywhere with Danny. Anywhere. I don't.

[H. Foley]

He wants the VIP treatment.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not that he gets in there and you're like, talking and he's looking around. He's, he's, he's figuring out the organizational chart. Who's in charge. Do they own it? She's relayed. She's mad. That's the. And he's gone. Yeah. And then next time you go in, that's the owner. I know, he figures it out. That's the owner.

[H. Foley]

I know his brother.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, he, he really figures out it must be the honor, family organization.

[H. Foley]

It's always something, though. There's always a little. It's never just professional.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean?

[H. Foley]

It's, you know, their cousin works there. This one knows this one. Well, that's, that's the, that's the owner's wife. She's the manager.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's 90. I remember learning this in college. That's like. Do you think it's all like corporation? It's like, it's 95% small businesses and family owned business. A small business is like anything under 50 employees. So it's like not whatever X amount of, you know, a crazy large percent of. Of businesses are small businesses.

[H. Foley]

Are we a family owned business?

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[H. Foley]

Why not?

[Kevin Ryan]

Until you marry my mother, we won't be a family owned business. Yeah, we're not. We're. We run like a fat. There's a lot of dysfunction. We run like every family business I've ever been a part of.

[H. Foley]

We get lunch together.

[Kevin Ryan]

We get lunch together.

[H. Foley]

We do Christmas together.

[Kevin Ryan]

We do a Christmas episode together.

[H. Foley]

We got to dinner together.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I mean, we're friends.

[H. Foley]

Are we a small business?

[Kevin Ryan]

Do we have 50 people working for us?

[H. Foley]

Oh, it's over 50 people.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is that the number? I, I think that's what it is. If I, if I remember correct, a lot of times, like when you do the insurance and stuff, it's like under 50.

[H. Foley]

We just hired Mark the shark.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hired Mark the shark. His name's not Mark, but That's a great 500. 500?

[H. Foley]

Yeah, 500. What the. What are we, Chobani? 500.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why was that? You have Chobani today?

[H. Foley]

Yeah, for breakfast. The honey.

[Kevin Ryan]

What are we? Lactate. It's just like some random ass dairy.

[H. Foley]

I never trusted that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nah, dude, that was for. No way.

[H. Foley]

Taking the milk out of the milk, I think. Are you trying to sell it to me?

[Kevin Ryan]

I still don't get that. It's a little more accepted now. Yeah, with the lactate. Hey, we can't do the sleepover, okay? I'm at my mom come pick me.

[H. Foley]

Up fat and egg beaters.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, no. Fucking dude. Trying to, trying to throw me a bowl of Frosted flakes with lactate. Yo, pick me up. I'm going to have my dad eat. Suburban diner, where the baking's done on premises.

[H. Foley]

That and that New Horizons milk. I've told you that's milk, though.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[H. Foley]

You smell that cap? It stinks. I don't know what it is.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude, I trust the generic non. I mean, at home, it's, you know, Rosenberg. That kind of stuff. But I. If I'm in it, if I go. If I go to Cleveland, I'm. I'm trusting the red cap, the red label, the plastic microplastic jug. That's what I don't want. I'm not going. Carton. I'm not go. I want. I want, like, bad milk.

[H. Foley]

We have not talked.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was that way with eggs for a long time.

[H. Foley]

You like bad egg? Like the bleached white.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've stepped it up.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've stepped it up. Just because as a kid.

[H. Foley]

Brown eggs, dude. What am I, fucking Amish? Get out of here.

[Kevin Ryan]

Up until three years ago, shit on them. My. Yeah. I'm like, you're sending me dirty eggs. I don't like things run up to the dishwasher. This is how I operate. I don't like things not going through, like a corporate oversight.

[H. Foley]

Processing. Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not picking berries off the street and eating them. Fucking put them in a bag, spray them with some formaldehyde, sell them at the Acme.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what I'm talking about.

[H. Foley]

We don't talk enough about Rosenbergers. Which. It's a Philadelphia company, I believe. Right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Or it was always area.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like, it was the area.

[H. Foley]

They did iced tea. They did chocolate milk. Their chocolate milk was banging. They had all the schools. They would do the little banger cartons that look like half gallons, but they were in a little, you know, like a little carton.

[Kevin Ryan]

A small car. Yeah. Individual carton of milk, which I know was never enough for me. Oh.

[H. Foley]

Sucked. See people drinking it with a straw, like, what the fuck?

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Never enough. Always left you thirsty then I remember. But Rosenberger. Shout out to him. Kid, what do you know about Uncommon Goods?

[Kevin Ryan]

I know nothing. Why don't you tell me about Uncommon Goods, big dog?

[H. Foley]

Well, I'm good on my friend. Uncommon Goods has something for everybody. From moms and dads to kids and teens, from book lovers, history buffs, and die hard football fans to foodies, mixologists, avid gardeners. Find thousands of new gift ideas that you won't find anywhere else. When you shop at Uncommon Goods, you're supporting artists and small independent businesses. Many handcrafted products and made in small batches. So shop now before they sell out this holiday season.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes, Uncommon goods takes the stress out of gift giving with thousands of unique, high quality finds that you won't find anywhere else. Listen, I stink at giving gifts. I logged on to Uncommon Goods. Beep boop bop boop boop. You knock everybody out. I got like 20 people I gotta buy for. Wipe them off the list. All easily done with Uncommon goods. And everybody's gonna like what they get, so don't wait. Cross off those names off your list before the rush. To get 15% off your next gift, go to uncommongoods.com ayg that's uncommongoods.com ayg for 15% off Uncommon Goods. We're all out of the ordinary over here at uncommon Goods, baby.

[H. Foley]

Do it, kid. We got time about factor.

[Kevin Ryan]

Scream it from the rafters. Factor.

[H. Foley]

Factor, Factor, Factor, Factor, Factor. We are a factor family. Been a factor family before they were even sponsors. We love factor gang. What you want to do is you want to go over there. You want to choose from a wider variety of selections. Weekly meal options including premium seafood choices like salmon and shrimp at no extra cost. We're talking about support your wellness goals. All right, Sicky season. You're starting to get sick. You want to support your wellness goals. Everyone is working on their GLP1s. We have friendly meals and new Mediterranean diet options packed with protein and good for you fats. We're talking about the best ready to eat meal kit in the United States of America. You throw it in the microwave two minutes and you're ready to go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. As the holiday season gears up, you got busier routines, shorter days. Finding time to cook can be tough. That's why I lean on factor and listen. You don't have to do it for every meal of the day. Do it for a couple of meals. Hey, you get this meal, you get six meals that take six meals out of the week, easy. I don't have to think. And you get a healthy meal, they got more choices, better nutrition. That's why 90%, 97% of customers say that factor helped them live a healthier lifestyle. And listen, baby, I'm one of them guys. Eat smart@factor meals.com garbage50 off and use the code garbage50 off to get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for a year. That's code garbage50 off@factor meals.com for 50% off your first box plus FREE breakfast for one year. Get delicious, ready to eat meals delivered with factor offer only valid for new factor customers with code and qualified qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase. Do it. My elementary school, midway through, maybe. I was never a milk at lunch guy.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

Nah. Just doing can of coke wrapped in tinfoil. Sometimes warm. Dude, warm coke on your. Feel your teeth rotting out in second grade.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, but spring for the ice pack. Patty, will you. You're wrapping it in tin foil.

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't like the ice pack. Then I got to come home with stuff. That was a chore to me.

[H. Foley]

That was. That was single use.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would look, I would lose my dude. My mom would be like, where's your lunch bag? I go, give me the brown bag. What are we doing?

[H. Foley]

Where's your lunch suitcase? Walking in with a roller.

[Kevin Ryan]

Which shout out to Fleezy. If you're on the Patreon, you might know Fleezy. Our boy Fleezy.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Top flight fleasy.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

He uses the roller bag. We should get behind that instead of a school bag. A backpack walking around. Everybody should roll with a roll. You should be able to roll day to day with the roller bag.

[H. Foley]

What are you putting in there?

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

What are you putting in there?

[Kevin Ryan]

What are you putting in there? How much better would your day be if you had all the comforts?

[H. Foley]

It would be empty. I don't bring anything. I don't have anything.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, because you don't want to carry a bag.

[H. Foley]

I wouldn't.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't have some snacks in there. Some Rosenbergers Milk. If it was socially acceptable. If we all rolled into work with a drag bag. Tired of going to classic class with sore shoulders and a broken spirit.

[H. Foley]

Sure. TNT Entertainment.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

TNT Amusement.

[Kevin Ryan]

TNT Amusements. Shout out to Tucky. I'm just saying.

[H. Foley]

And the whole Tucky family. Especially in the holiday season. Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

That I. I would get down with that. Yeah. Computer in there. Some snacks, power bars, pack of heaters. You know, change your underwear.

[H. Foley]

Well, this guy's lost his mind.

[Kevin Ryan]

What? You're not all. You're not in with that. You know what used to carry a bag, used to run around the city in that mess. That rockstar messenger, Batman. Where did. Where did you get that? There was a version of.

[H. Foley]

I know exactly. It was talking about.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was like. It was like arm. You got you. I. I don't know the. Where you got it.

[H. Foley]

It was.

[Kevin Ryan]

You do claim you got it at an army navy surplus store, which I do not think you did. I think you got it at like Bradley's. An old Navy or something.

[H. Foley]

You got it at Bradley's and you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Used to claim what I.

[H. Foley]

It had red wings on it and a parachute thing.

[Kevin Ryan]

He would claim he got yours. You steal that?

[H. Foley]

I think I used to tell people was an Israeli paratrooper bag. You did?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes, you did. That's how nuts he is. That's how. Kaida Al Bain. That's Alka. I got a friend at Gitmo.

[H. Foley]

He sent it back.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's how nuts you are.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I used to. I used to have that. And I had my notebooks in there and I had it in New York. Somebody stole it from the Lantern one time and I found it a block away. That's when you know you're losing at life. When someone steals your bag and then leaves it on the street a block away. Nothing was taken out of it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Leaves a 20 in there for you.

[H. Foley]

But it was opened. It was a dirty scarf that smelled like pure butt because I wore it every day. And like some notebook with some bad jokes in there and my pens. I was big on my pens. I had my, my micron Japanese drafting pen that when I write it or I wrote with it, I felt like such. Like I was a genius. Like a smart Asian kid. You.

[Kevin Ryan]

You did. I was.

[H. Foley]

You were. That my pleather jacket?

[Luke Dempsey]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

And that, that, that short sleeve white, like with like black or red dot. Those small dot shirts.

[H. Foley]

Oh, my God. That shirt did very well in that shirt a couple of times.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

On the sats.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. You were.

[H. Foley]

What are you getting at? Did I stink?

[Kevin Ryan]

No. What? I mean, I don't know why you fucking snap. I'm just saying, as a guy who liked the bag, at one point you did carry your stuff around. Imagine if you had a nice, a nice roller bag where it was socially acceptable to bring all your.

[H. Foley]

That was hot back then, wearing those things.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm saying, what if this was hot? That would be cool. You roll up, you got all your stuff, your charger, your headphones, your keys.

[H. Foley]

I think they would have to. I think I've said this to you before. It would have to be the ones that, that, that, that have power on them. You get on it and you ride away. That should become fashionable. We should all be zipping around the airport in those things.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nah. Yeah, but then you gotta charge.

[H. Foley]

You pull your crackers out of your bag, have a cracker.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know, you got crackers now, see?

[H. Foley]

And you sit on it and fucking right down. We should all be zipping around. We should have little. We should have those one wheel things that were all zipping around town in.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't want to be on him.

[H. Foley]

Why look cool. You love that messenger bag.

[Kevin Ryan]

I hated that thing. I hated it because like you thought it was like a conversation starter. Because you would. You've made up an origin story of it, which it was not. I got this isn't really paratrooper bag. And you're like, first of all, why is that cool?

[H. Foley]

I don't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

It wasn't. Everybody go, ah, cool man.

[H. Foley]

You're in the military.

[Luke Dempsey]

No, no, the military stuff you get at like Old Navy. And like that mid 2000 was so corny.

[H. Foley]

Like I had a sad year.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're looking at the spokesman.

[H. Foley]

I remember, I remember when I fucking. When I. When I fatted out of Old Navy. It was a sad day.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember that used to go to the one over like on like six at like the Fashion district. And you'd go. This is what he would say though. Every day for the listener. Every day. I worked like a straight job. I worked at an office. So I had a very, you know, I was out by 5:30, 6 o' clock every. I'd be downtown sick, whatever. He is a little more jumping around a little more. Little more peace and things together, you know what I mean? You were.

[H. Foley]

There's a gig culture back then, gig economy.

[Kevin Ryan]

So you were in and out of like you were waiter, your waiting table. Like steady jobs.

[H. Foley]

But I got fired a couple of times.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not saying that, but sometimes you'd be working in the morning, afternoon, whatever. You were a little more flex. I don't know why you're taking this the wrong way. That's all I'm saying is you were a little more like I do a.

[H. Foley]

Little shopping before my spot.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. So we'd meet up. Cause we're not going home. We live so deep out in the bar. I lived all the way uptown. You lived all. I mean you were, you were floating around at that time, man.

[H. Foley]

But instead of a trash bag of clothes and a guitar.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. From Bushwick to Astoria, from Astoria to Bensonhurst.

[Kevin Ryan]

But instead of going back to our respect, I mean we're probably both on couches. Going back to our respective couches. Yeah, we would just meet up, hang out, find a Starbucks or something, post up. You introduced me to iced coffee. Thank you very much.

[H. Foley]

I did?

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh. I have a picture of it. I have a picture of the first day.

[H. Foley]

You should tell me more things like this. That makes me feel great.

[Kevin Ryan]

You introduced me to Bryant park, which is near and dear to my heart now.

[H. Foley]

Who's that? How they spelled it?

[Kevin Ryan]

Was he in The Israeli Air Force with me.

[H. Foley]

Taiwanese jet fighter. That's something I wanted to ask you.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I'm not in the Taiwanese army.

[H. Foley]

Is it. How lame is it now? Listen.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very.

[H. Foley]

We all wear bomber jackets.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not anymore. Bomber jackets are kind of phased out.

[H. Foley]

I just wore mine today because it fits. Now I don't want it for.

[Kevin Ryan]

But you bought it four years ago. You still look good. And it's a vibe. No, I'm telling you, it's cool that now no one's wearing, by the way. I'm just saying we're all not wearing bomber jackets.

[H. Foley]

True Classic.

[Kevin Ryan]

They sponsor this episode.

[H. Foley]

Beep.

[Luke Dempsey]

True.

[H. Foley]

I'm in the back in the True Classic.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's great.

[H. Foley]

I got a whole pack of them.

[Kevin Ryan]

At the house too, huh? Fantastic.

[H. Foley]

Yellow.

[Kevin Ryan]

Great. Colonel Mustard.

[H. Foley]

All right, I'm going today to get a new jacket. I want to get a new jacket.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, no, no. I'm saying the bomber jacket looks good. That's a choice for you. That's cool.

[H. Foley]

I'm eating today. I want to look cool. So I'm gonna go down and pick up jacket.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, but I'm sorry they cut you off. They could just put a button in it. I'd meet up with them and he'd go, meet me in a fashion die. I do a little shot, maybe in a fashion district. Yeah, you would. Yeah, you would.

[H. Foley]

Can't be. When you're shopping on 7th Avenue, you gotta look the part.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I'm like, all right. I remember. You're like, meet me at, like, you know, whatever that. Whatever. Find out.

[H. Foley]

It was a cluster of Old Navy Bronte, code factory and TJ Maxx on 6th Avenue.

[Kevin Ryan]

6Th and. No, but 7th. Then it would have been like 7 and like, 24th or something.

[H. Foley]

Like something.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. In the 20s.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember staying on the side of that Old Navy, cranking a heater.

[H. Foley]

I come out, like a million bucks.

[Kevin Ryan]

He turned a corner, he goes, let's go. And I'm thinking we're walking into, like, fucking. I don't even. Like John Varvatos here. I don't even know. It's the real. I think we're walking in somewhere where you got, like, a personal shopper, and he fucking kicks in the doors to the Old Navy.

[H. Foley]

Tony.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was like, this guy's a mover. I'm a shaker.

[H. Foley]

I remember. Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

No. You asked me to bum a cig. What do you. You asked for kills on my Sig and then walked into an Old Navy.

[H. Foley]

That's when they had these deals that Patty was. Patty was feeding Me, coupons from like labor day and shit. $10 off this, $10 off that. Remember those Old Navy things? Gift certificates everywhere. Except they get jammed up. Cause I buy a lot of shit on clearance and they didn't count for the.

[Kevin Ryan]

For the tickets.

[H. Foley]

But I remember when I fatted out of Old Navy go in there, you know, I had them in an XL. Couple XLs.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember you going, nah, that's not gonna swing it. Like you knew certain things. Yeah, that's the way I was at H and M. Certain things just aren't gonna work. I gotta get hit 2x.

[H. Foley]

It's limited, but you could find one. Yeah, and then once that don't work, gang. It's been real. I'll be over at the dxl. Take care, Hank. Thanks, boys.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ahoy, matey.

[H. Foley]

Wear a fleece for me one day, will you fellas? Remember those fleeces? Every trash bag in Philly wore those old Navy fleeces. Performance cigarette burn on there.

[Kevin Ryan]

They were big. I was never a fleece guy. No, I don't like the way it fell on me.

[H. Foley]

I look like a tennis ball.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I look like a smock. Bad look for the kid.

[H. Foley]

Bad luck.

[Kevin Ryan]

That looks like a big mitten.

[H. Foley]

But what I was going to say is, is it garbage to wear the fighter jacket with the fighter patches on?

[Kevin Ryan]

You got.

[H. Foley]

Listen for us, unless you're a fighter.

[Kevin Ryan]

Pilot, I think there's fashion. Like there's guys who are. There's people who are into fashion where that does play. Like. And you're going like, this is a look. I'm going, that's not our look.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

What we look like we're about to storm the Capitol.

[H. Foley]

I got a raccoon hat on, trash can lit as a shield. You ever see those dudes?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it would be bad luck. You can't.

[H. Foley]

When running at an FBI agent with a folding chair strapped to your arm. You're gonna lose that battle.

[Kevin Ryan]

When dudes like us try to do anything, like, not that cool. Yeah, cools. It's just. We're just not cool guys. I've. I've.

[H. Foley]

Family show gang.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know if I told you.

[H. Foley]

What, Somebody asking about me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Somebody said they were close to me? No, the good boys at Carhartt reached out to me.

[H. Foley]

Get the fuck out of here.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh.

[H. Foley]

Cease and desist.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what I said. Wait till. Wait till that merch. Wait till you see that new merch. Drop K. This email ain't gonna be too soon.

[H. Foley]

That's what I need is a new Carhartt hit me up.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I'm Carhartt. You're not on the car. They say, hey, Kippy, we realize you're wearing Carhartt all the time. I said, buddy, I just put in an. He goes, we'll send you some stuff.

[H. Foley]

I need a brand.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, go find one.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, Timmy D's got the Polo.

[Kevin Ryan]

Old Navy. Buddy, I've been trying to get you in. Cool and okay. Not cool, Indecent looking. You fight me on it. You do. I'd send Diesel. I'd take you shopping.

[H. Foley]

Is super dry coming back? Remember dudes wearing that when we got up here open? Micros, dudes always rocking. Super dry. I went in there one time, I was like, what the. That ain't a medium, and this is expensive. Sure, yeah. But when I was a kid, I can't. However, I'm going to express this. I am underestimating it or I am underselling it. I wanted Tom Cruise's jacket from Top Gun so fucking bad. I thought if I had that jacket and a motorcycle, I could fly an F14. I would be all right. I mean, that dude was killing it. Ever see that jacket?

[Luke Dempsey]

You got to be able to back it up.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would say, well, you did make.

[H. Foley]

It to work the stick. I can't.

[Kevin Ryan]

You didn't. You didn't make it to the Israeli Air Force. So that's pretty good.

[H. Foley]

Paratrooper. I don't know what it was. It was a red something. That's a grenade bag. I think they put your grenades in there. I remember seeing a couple of movies when they were.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was a. What do you mean? No, it wasn't.

[H. Foley]

No, but that's what it was used for, I think, in the military. What?

[Kevin Ryan]

It was a what? Stop trying to sell. Wait, Dude.

[H. Foley]

No, that style of bag.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was a messenger bag.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, but in the army, they would put grenades and shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

That bag was not in the army.

[H. Foley]

No, not that specific bag. That style.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was a messenger bag.

[H. Foley]

I think it was a World War II grenade bag.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was a green messenger bag that you bought. I've seen you bought, as you said, at Bradley's.

[H. Foley]

I've seen it in movies where they were, like, about to all get killed, and then you pull a couple of. You always have a bag of grenades that in the last minute, you pull all the pins.

[Kevin Ryan]

He just got burgers in there. Fuck. Wrong bag.

[H. Foley]

And you go in and then you drop all the pins in front of the diverties.

[Kevin Ryan]

Time I bought a grenade. My mom. Yeah, there was this.

[H. Foley]

Jumped on a couple. Only in New York.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hawks eat squirrels. We went to some weird. Not like, Expo. No. Like, which I did. I did make my dad take me to the gun expo one time. He was. Again, that. And like the record one where it's.

[H. Foley]

Like, I've been to that.

[Kevin Ryan]

That thing. My dad walked in, he goes. He goes, buddy, this is.

[H. Foley]

You gotta get some pussy.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was young. I was probably like 8, 9. It was a lesson. He went. These things. He's like. Because they were advertising it on the radio all the time. And he's like, this is when I was going to work with him a lot or just in the car.

[H. Foley]

This is like the thing downtown, like when they have the old records and they have posters and all that stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

This was at the Valley Forge Convention Center.

[H. Foley]

He's pretty. Listen, kid.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, he's just like, it's not gonna be what you think it is. I go, they said, I got 10 million records in this place.

[H. Foley]

Did you have a record?

[Kevin Ryan]

No. Or just album, CDs, things you couldn't get. Stickers, poor merch. And like, I was like getting into.

[H. Foley]

A rock and roll.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not even. It wasn't even like specific stuff. Was just like, this is cool. I don't know music. It's cool. They were fucking Preston, Steve. Were advertising. I had to get there.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

And he goes, it's not gonna be what you think it is. And I remember walking in and there was like nine. It was like a bunch of tables and like nine people walking. I was like. Like a tumbleweed blew across. And he's.

[H. Foley]

I said, oh, she's got a friendly.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. We did one half a lap. And he's like, you know. You see, I told. He's like, this stuff. He's like, you can't believe everything you read type deal.

[H. Foley]

Oh, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's very much. That's how they get you. You know what I mean?

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Took you to a gun show?

[Kevin Ryan]

I think so. I was into guns at a young age.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I told you. Had a holster. Took me to a real. He took. He went and bought me a real holster. But I went to this.

[H. Foley]

You kept your ketchup.

[Kevin Ryan]

But I went to this. My mom took me to this. Like, not a farmer's market, but like a. It was like a shot. It was like a collection of an auction.

[H. Foley]

She's trying to sell you 25, 65.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sports induced asthma, whatever. And they had a grenade with the drilled out bottom, like a real grenade. And he goes, I'm not supposed to be selling these because you can find out how to fill Them on the Internet.

[H. Foley]

I'll take two.

[Kevin Ryan]

And my mom goes, well, we don't have the Internet. And then bought me an old decommissioned hand grenade. And I wanted to be like, this is how. This is what you see on the news.

[H. Foley]

And what did you do with it?

[Kevin Ryan]

I just thought it was cool. I play with it over, throw it, dive over the couch, cover your ears and clear a room, bust a bunker. What do you need me to do?

[H. Foley]

Dude, your mom's trying to make dinner. Your flashbanger Clear. Man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who.

[H. Foley]

You've really turned things around.

[Kevin Ryan]

So have you. What are you talking about?

[H. Foley]

I haven't. You have.

[Kevin Ryan]

What if it's. What if I turned around?

[H. Foley]

We really got you straightened out, didn't we, boy? From Forrest Comp. I mean, you were a dork. Now you're successful businessman, podcaster.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was 8 years old. I'm not like 16 doing this. I was smoking heaters and drinking frosty brews. At that point, many men wish death is upon me. Me and Pat cruising out to with sideways hats, cruising out to 50 cent. Many men cranking heaters.

[H. Foley]

You guys want to see my grenade?

[Kevin Ryan]

My.

[Luke Dempsey]

Boom.

[Kevin Ryan]

Speaking of weird little kids, Dr. Chalupa Cabra. That's a pretty good name. That's great.

[H. Foley]

They should make that at Taco Bell.

[Kevin Ryan]

The Chalupa Cabra haunt you in your dreams. Is that what the chupaca? Is a chupacabra real? No. Is the mythical beast mythical beast? Is it garbage if you used to flip your eyelids as a kid?

[H. Foley]

I saw a meme the other day. That's it. Like 9 out of 10 kids that flipped their eyebrows or flipped their eyelids are in prison.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. It was only a certain ambidextrous person that could do it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know if that's the right.

[H. Foley]

Word, but they could do that. They could do the spit down and suck it back up, Snap their arm. They had a really good bang. Bang, bang.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Same kid. Same kid in my grade buddy of mine could flip his eyelids. He could do the lips where like. Kind of like Fire Marshal Bill.

[H. Foley]

Oh, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

They go up and down and it's just his teeth. And he could also make himself fart. Yeah, he could suck air in his ass.

[H. Foley]

That's crazy. I don't know how good time in college.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember getting picked. I mean, again, we were probably 10, 12 year out of something, and he showed me that at his house. I was like, yeah, you know, he can fart on demand. I said, I'm gonna have to get some eyes on this.

[H. Foley]

I'LL show you about your name.

[Kevin Ryan]

Somebody pulled a pin on this guy, okay? And so I remember getting in the car and going, dad, you're not gonna believe what Matt can do.

[H. Foley]

I know you're behind on a mortgage and all that stuff, but. Wait, here it is.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think I got the. I got the answer to all of our problems.

[H. Foley]

We get this freak down to Atlantic City.

[Kevin Ryan]

You get them at the Valley Forge Convention Center. We start selling tickets, we start running ads. People paying to see this guy. You wet your beak.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that was Joe Testorini, the magic farting boy. Step right up.

[Kevin Ryan]

The one time we made him do it in the pool and he sucked in water.

[H. Foley]

Caught a parasite, he was dead in a week. Apparently, chlorine's not good for the gallbladder. It's crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

He shit himself. Just gave him diarrhea.

[H. Foley]

I think. A leaf cut in there. Ah, that's dangerous, opening up your butthole in a body of water.

[Kevin Ryan]

We didn't know what we were doing. I remember he was having a party, and I. I don't know if I was smoking. I guess I was smoking cigars. Had a pack of matches on me, and I struck a match in his basement, and his mom came down and reamed me out bad. I don't know if I got kicked out, but it was like, who's got matches? And someone narc on me real quick.

[H. Foley]

Were you smoking?

[Kevin Ryan]

Not in the house.

[H. Foley]

I think I just had matches.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was probably smoking at the time. Yeah. Yeah. We're in junior high.

[H. Foley]

Just lighting matches.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I guess. I don't know.

[H. Foley]

I'm fucking.

[Luke Dempsey]

He's farting all the time.

[Kevin Ryan]

But I. I think I was so used to my houses. My house is. You could smoke in. So I'm going. There's no way to. Could smell a match. You know what I mean? Like, if you struck a match in my dad's house, it wouldn't. He wouldn't be able to sniff it out three floors down. You know what I mean? She can't. Dude. It was like she came down the stairs.

[H. Foley]

Like the Terminator.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ew. We weren't allowed to hang out together anymore. I was a bad kid.

[H. Foley]

There was something about getting yelled at compared to him. As a kid when you were fat, that made you feel worse. I don't know what it was, but I was aware of my fatness. Whenever I got yelled at, I was just waiting for the parent to be like, you fat little bastard. I don't know why.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's just because I'm fat. You start Freaking out.

[H. Foley]

No, you broke my window.

[Kevin Ryan]

He called my daughter a whore. That's when we were deep six in each other. Remember that? Do you know deep 6?

[H. Foley]

Deep 2 1/2 finger blasted each other. Deep six and each other.

[Kevin Ryan]

You make yourself pass out.

[H. Foley]

That's what you call that.

[Kevin Ryan]

And you push on their chest.

[H. Foley]

We just called that the pass out game. I did it once. Not for me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you Google Deep Six? See if that's the thing.

[H. Foley]

I knew kids that would do that every day.

[Kevin Ryan]

We had a kid do it too much because it would be like, you're breathing and out five times or whatever. And then he would be like, let me do 15 deep breaths. And this kid's bad news now. Like.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Off the reservation behavior. Yeah. Oh, dude. At a very. At like 16, he's like. It's when you know, dog, he's institutionalized for. And now he's. He's not doing great. But I remember being like, guy, relax. That's a gay guy.

[H. Foley]

Matches Galaxy Gas. Same similar effect.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's Galaxy gas? Nitrous. Oh, yeah.

[Luke Dempsey]

I mean, I don't have deep six.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who are you, my mom? I think they're doing Galaxy Gear.

[H. Foley]

That's what the kids are calling it now.

[Kevin Ryan]

Fucking nitrous.

[Luke Dempsey]

They don't call it Deep Six. It seems like on the Internet. But they also call it space monkeys. Fainting game. Choking game.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's great.

[H. Foley]

Space Monkey.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's ready. That's way better than Deep Sick. It's gonna replace pace. Sounds like a video game.

[H. Foley]

Don't do that. Kids out there, if you're listening.

[Kevin Ryan]

Bad news.

[H. Foley]

You stay in school and eat your vegetables, smoke your heaters like a gentleman. I had sex in a hot tub one time.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sweet.

[H. Foley]

That's from a couple minutes ago. You talk about the fart in the pool, huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Plus, I just want everybody to know. Kind of wicked. Uti.

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh?

[H. Foley]

Wicked.

[Kevin Ryan]

What was his name? We'll be right back. All right. Let's see here. This is from Daniel From Shaolin, New York. 10 Wawa Blt Hoagie with Ranch and old bay. Never have one red.

[H. Foley]

That's what you're doing.

[Kevin Ryan]

You can do all Old Bay at Wawa. That. No way. Can you see if that's on the menu?

[H. Foley]

Bay on a sandwich.

[Kevin Ryan]

They do BLT.

[H. Foley]

I guess they do BLTs.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

[H. Foley]

I told you. They have that special sizzly.

[Luke Dempsey]

It's on the menu.

[Kevin Ryan]

Old Bay's on a menu.

[H. Foley]

Oh, yeah. The spices.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I don't. Not perusing the Spice menu that much?

[H. Foley]

Me neither.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is it garbage to take a break mid sandwich slash meal? To floss your teeth and then get back to eating? I eat a 10 inch classic, hit the plackers and then crush the second half with fresh chompers.

[H. Foley]

It's trashy, but I know exactly where you're coming from. You don't feel. He gets a lot of stuff in his teeth. Probably could use some dental work. I have a spot right here where I always get a little tendon or something gets stuck in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

You get like the white chunk of bread that's like, too white.

[H. Foley]

If I can't get that out, it freaks me out.

[Kevin Ryan]

I get it.

[H. Foley]

I respect it. You're coming back in fresh. That's like going in halftime and having a Gatorade. Getting your head on straight?

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. I mean, I've honestly never really heard of it or thought about it. It's like, that could be classy if you're doing it and like, putting it on the dashboard of your car. I'd have to argue not classy, but I don't know.

[H. Foley]

I flush my dental floss.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. You're probably not supposed to do that.

[H. Foley]

Sometimes I forget to.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, I'm sure it's fine, but.

[H. Foley]

People get very upset when they see it in the toilet, which I don't understand why.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I just, like. It's just not. It's someone else's refuse of some kind. I guess the argument would be of like, just flush the fucking toilet, you lazy motherfucker. That's what I think they would be.

[H. Foley]

Saying, me talking to you, Brad. I like it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I like you're a nice guy. I'm saying this is what probably someone who doesn't like you would say should.

[Luke Dempsey]

Never flush dental floss.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I don't. You're not supposed to flush much.

[H. Foley]

Shouldn't do a lot of stuff. What are we doing here? Okay. We're here to make mistakes and love each other.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

And get our. Get our hearts broken.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm.

[H. Foley]

And write music and laugh and sing. Watch tv. Get a hoagie. Get to forget about the rules, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh?

[H. Foley]

Right?

[Luke Dempsey]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You know what I'm saying?

[Luke Dempsey]

Live a life.

[H. Foley]

Life. Flush a wipe cares.

[Kevin Ryan]

You jam up half of Queens. I gotta open up the fight, you know, Open up Mars Boulevard. Jam. Jam everyone up.

[H. Foley]

We're there anyway.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. That's what guys who do that kind of stuff. I'm not saying you're bad. I'm just saying, like, that's your.

[H. Foley]

I'm bad.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, I'm bad. All right, let's see here. We got time for one more. This was from Zachary Faithful. NE Faithful Navy Fed Overdrafter.

[H. Foley]

Here, my man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is it garbage that we only had cash to buy tickets to the Pittsburgh show you just dropped? So we ran to our local Dollar General to get a Visa gift card to snag them VIP tickets up. We'll see you again in June. If you wondered why we couldn't use my card is because it was overdrafted. That.

[H. Foley]

Tell you what, whoever you come with, you got two T shirts waiting for you at the show.

[Kevin Ryan]

There you go.

[H. Foley]

How about that?

[Kevin Ryan]

Just open the door to everybody hitting you up with a sob story and just cost us $10,000 in merch.

[H. Foley]

No, that's it.

[Kevin Ryan]

All sales final. Yeah, I didn't. I mean, dude, that is. It takes that kind of problem solving and resourcefulness that I've been. Listen, I have been.

[H. Foley]

You gotta be a dirt peg to.

[Kevin Ryan]

Know that you have to truly and just not accept your. That is part of being a true dirtbag is not accepting where you currently are of just going like, I don't have a credit card to buy these tickets or whatever or to go get drunk or to buy these heaters. That ain't stopping me. Yeah, I'm gonna find a quarters to get my siggies. I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna overdraft, pull out something to keep the place.

[H. Foley]

I'm gonna run a Dollar General and get a gift card and do it online. You know, it's a big one on that. People getting their check on. I got my check, but it's not going to be clear until Monday.

[Kevin Ryan]

What? I never let that stick.

[H. Foley]

Give me the check and 5% and I'll be back in 20 minutes with your money.

[Kevin Ryan]

What? Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Not taking no for an answer.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's if you got a. Figuring it out did I remember I went to my first job out of college. I was at a roofing. I was selling roofs and windows door to door. And they went. It was so jammed up. It was Friday and Friday morning, I'm so jammed up. And they hit me with. I'm probably making 29. I'm probably making 30 grand.

[H. Foley]

Were you really jammed up or do you just want to have money?

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm jammed up.

[H. Foley]

I always say that like I gotta cash this check today, but I always under spending it on him or her. You know what I mean? This or that?

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. But my take. I remember my time at that. I mean this is. Hold on, let's do the Math. I was making $500 a week was my pay gross. Gross. My net was like 322 or 388. And then I show. So now come Friday, what's 500?

[Luke Dempsey]

You're making 26,000.

[Kevin Ryan]

$26,000 a year. I've never looked at commission. I never got one commission check.

[H. Foley]

I've never looked at a paycheck and thought that it was right. This has got to be. This is wrong.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, I knew, but whatever. So I remember. I remember I showed up. So. Dude, 388A dirt bag. I'm 23 years old.

[H. Foley]

That's a great weekend.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's. That's a solid weekend with the boys. That's drinking Friday night, drinking Saturday night, maybe hitting a mall, buying a fucking. A new button up at fucking, you know, to keep a pair of shoes or something. And then gas in the car. Need gas for the week, Fill up the tank, heater, sizzlies the whole night. I didn't making it that far. And I needed the money so bad. And I get there and the guy goes, hey, we're changing banks. You're not gonna get paid till Tuesday. And I went, what the that gotta do with a guy named Kevin? James Ryan ain't fucking shit.

[H. Foley]

Well, you're not getting the showroom door back until then.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got the sample windows in a trunk at a Tigo.

[H. Foley]

I'll sell them on the street down at the fucking Italian market.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I wanted to be like I said to my direct boss. I went, guy, I ain't leaving here without fucking $322. I don't know what to tell you.

[H. Foley]

You could fire me if you want.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm on E right now. Like, I can't get home. I need the cash. I came here to pick up my cash. And he goes, ah, yeah, you can't wait till I go, hey, either you start.

[H. Foley]

Who the fuck. Wait till Monday. What's Monday?

[Kevin Ryan]

I said, you go hit the ATM personally and I'll sign my check over to you. Come on, D. Or fucking tell big, big man in the front office out.

[H. Foley]

There, look at Mr. Anderson. He's got his fucking money.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's got his triple paying cash. Yeah, I go make go with the 388 or 322, whatever it was. That's crazy. I mean, listen, I run a. I run a fair shift for the most part. If I've ever been like, guys, you're not getting paid till I go. I got it if you need it. I'll cover whatever it is. You don't fucking stiff a guy making fucking 26 grand a year.

[H. Foley]

Imagine if I was running the books. They would be happening a lot and not on purpose.

[Kevin Ryan]

But you're just bad with money.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, and he does. You'd be coming in here with a fucking pick and sign.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh yeah, they. Dude, there would be a fucking. They'd be unionizing against you.

[H. Foley]

If lunch is late, you're a little.

[Kevin Ryan]

Testy, you freak out. Yeah. What are you talking about, Luke? Where's Lenwich? That's what you do.

[H. Foley]

I don't say that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh.

[Luke Dempsey]

Make sure to put my order in right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Luke, did you get my order in? As you're staring down over your glasses with your scowl.

[Luke Dempsey]

I don't like olives. Then next week. I really like olives.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what I've been into recently? All right, we gotta wrap it up, gang.

[H. Foley]

We love you to death, Philadelphia. We'll see you on December 13th at the Metropolitan Theater.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not only Philadelphia, of course, we got.

[H. Foley]

A lot of stuff going on.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh.

[H. Foley]

Big tour this next year.

[Kevin Ryan]

Where are we going?

[H. Foley]

Where are we going?

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm gonna tell you where we're going, how's that?

[H. Foley]

I'll tell you where we're going.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know, I'll do it in order. All right, so we're going to obviously lunch. So hold on, let's just even. Coming up, we got Charlotte, Raleigh, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania for the homecoming show. Every year we do shout out to the boys. Then we got Rochester, Toronto. Those are almost sold out or going very quick. We got Austin, Tampa, Chicago, Bloomington, Nashville, Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Ohio. Get your tickets, the boys are coming and we're hanging out.

[H. Foley]

That's Bloomington, Indiana at the Comedy Attic.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes.

[H. Foley]

You know there's a Bloomington, Illinois, I believe.

[Kevin Ryan]

I did know that. There's a shout out to Laura on.

[H. Foley]

Instagram asked me that. Okay, you coming to Bloomington, Indiana or Bloomington, Illinois? I was like, I don't know, talk.

[Kevin Ryan]

They can't be. I got a Linwich order going.

[H. Foley]

Excited to get to the Comedy Attic?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes.

[H. Foley]

Never been.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh.

[H. Foley]

Love it.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's great.

[H. Foley]

Got the merch too.

[Kevin Ryan]

Got the merch.

[H. Foley]

Pick up a Bugman shirt.

[Kevin Ryan]

They are not moving that well. Hand to God. Shock. I thought that was gonna. Typically whenever we do like a Kippies or a Foley's, they move very well. And we didn't do a Kippies this time.

[H. Foley]

They don't want that stink on them, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nobody wants the worst summer. We sold about six of them fucking things. Everything else is flying off the fucking chart.

[H. Foley]

I love it. Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week.

[Kevin Ryan]

Peace Experience, the sequel everyone's been waiting for with Sideline 2 intercepted. Join Drayton and Dallas as they navigate the challenges of college life while trying to stay true to themselves and each other. Catch all the drama and watch Sideline 2 Intercepted, starring Noah Beck and Sienna Agudong for free on tubi this Thanksgiving.