Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Episode: Ali Siddiq: Tuna on a Plane!
Release Date: August 21, 2025
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Guest: Ali Siddiq

Episode Overview

In this lively and hilarious episode, comedy veteran Ali Siddiq returns for his third visit, officially joining the "Are You Garbage?" family. The hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley, dig into Ali’s comedy philosophies, his experiences on the road, the reality of working clubs vs. theaters, and plenty of "garbage" lifestyle confessions. It’s a candid, roast-filled, food-centric, and insightful conversation about showbiz, family, travel, and what really makes a comic “special.”

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Coming Off the Road: The Comic’s Vacation Struggle

• The trio opens up about struggling when not touring.
• Ali Siddiq shares the psychological challenge of downtime:
  • “I'm waking up. Like, you know how many times I done pack clothes on a Thursday thinking, I got a flight on Friday? Like, nope.” (04:49)
• All reflect on the weirdness of being home with family and how being off the road can make comics stir-crazy.
• Joke about getting into trouble (“heroin”) out of sheer boredom. (04:01)

2. Clubs vs. Theaters & The “Specials” Epidemic

• Ali defends working comedy clubs, rejecting the "only theaters" mindset new comics flaunt.
  • “Some people are featured on other peoples’ theater tours. That’s not your tour.” (05:10)
  • “Do you know how much money you can make at a club for seven shows?” (05:18)
• Critiques the overuse of the term “special”:
  • “Every hour set that people are putting out, we gonna have to stop titling them specials. Like, because...this is a set. This is an hour.” (07:03)
  • “This is not a special. It doesn’t have any perspective to it. No legs. I can’t learn nothing from it.” (07:18)
• Details his new role in producing, distributing, and giving painful notes on other comics' projects.
  • “I gotta pass on people. Like, man, I’m like, okay...” (08:52)

3. Comedic Craft & The Hard Rooms

• The group reminisces about the tough rooms and lessons in Philly and Houston:
  • Ali: “I used to have four rooms in a week. Every room levels you up...Diallos, if you make it through Diallos...they don’t give a damn about me.” (13:05)
  • H. Foley’s story of bombing at Warm Daddy’s with a white people skiing bit:
    • “Silence. (Ray) goes, ‘This motherfucker talking about skiing in front of a room full of black people!’” (15:34)
  • Ali, on being denied by Philly’s Laugh House:
    • “The Laugh House told me that I was not good enough to come. They wouldn't book me at their spot.” (16:06)

4. Family, Grudges & Career Milestones

• Ali discusses being blocked by gatekeepers (like the “last spot” in Houston), holding grudges, and blowing up later.
  • “I came to the Punchline and I sold out six shows...Was the Laugh House even still open?” (16:10-16:28)
• Funny and poignant anecdote about booking ‘Hypno Bro’—who then tanked Ali’s chances to play a club by vouching he hadn’t performed for a white audience.

5. Green Room Demands & Touring Rituals

• Detailed “rider” list, same for both clubs and theaters:
  • Mountain Valley spring water, Smartfood white cheddar popcorn (“That creates a film on your finger!” (25:36)), berries, tortilla chips with salsa (but never mango-corn, it “wasn’t in the mood for it” (26:21)), assorted cheeses, crackers, Celsius energy drink. (25:11-26:32)
• Ali likes to keep his shirt off until showtime (“so don’t get wrinkled”) (27:28), and usually rolls deep with his DJ, feature, road manager, and sometimes family.

6. Food Talk: Snacks, Restaurants & Home Eats

• Snacks on the road:
  • “Cashews, smoked almonds, a Celsius...if I’m going sweet: Mr. Goodbar, all day long.” (33:05-33:41)
  • “If I’m really just on one...M&Ms, no nuts.” (33:57)
• At Capital Grill: “Sea bass...Caesar salad, sea bass, and a bowl of their clam chowder. Their clam chowder is the best in the United States.” (34:46-35:00)
  • “I don’t eat pork...Why would you put bacon in a clam chowder?”
  • Grandma’s rule: “You don’t use meat to season vegetables, and you don’t use meat, other meat to season seafood.” (35:29-36:01)
• Personal garden: grows okra, figs, and more—fresh okra is sweet, and he shares produce “like an old farmer.” (37:08)

7. Global Traveler: Greece & Turks & Caicos Stories

• Recently spent 14 days in Greece (Santorini, Athens, Crete); favorite moment: “sunset yacht ride” and swimming in sulfur volcanic pools (38:13-39:16).
• Vacation highlights:
  • “I found a ring while swimming. I just gave it back to the people.” (43:09)
• Family reunion in Dallas and a trip to Turks and Caicos; always treats the family, and not even the richest in the family—"That's my Uncle Donald who just hands out $20 bills." (45:29)
• Breakdown of local musts in Turks & Caicos: Conch Shack, Mr. Grouper, Thursday Fish Fry—"75 people in the band, it's crazy." (47:08)

8. Travel Nightmares: Airport Chaos & Plane Snacks

• Turks & Caicos airport “fast pass” service is a must—TSA precheck means nothing there, chaos at the terminal:
  • “You gotta get there early, it’s like the last chopper out of ‘Nam.” (49:06-)
  • "Their lounge is the worst. It's just chairs." (49:34)
• Tuna on a plane confession:
  • Ali brings tuna pouches and crushes up Fritos (“That’s white people shit I learned”) (61:15-61:43), jokes about being unfazed by others' peanut allergies.

9. Prison Spreads & Weaponized Tuna Cans

• Describes “the spread” (prison food concoction) & the art of making it:
  • “If you had tuna, you wasn't putting it in a spread...that’s for mackerel.” (63:00)
  • Explains how cans can (and were) used as weapons:
    • “A tuna fish can, open it up in a sock will have you in a wheelchair.” (67:02-67:23)
    • Detailed description of turning can tops into slicing implements.
• “It depends on your era as well...I would never speak about how the 70s did it or the 80s. I wasn't there.” (66:03)

10. "Are You Garbage?" Lightning Round

• Ali always answers unknown phone numbers:
  • “I’m not letting nobody restrict me from using my damn phone. It’s just a man thing to me.” (52:57)
• Never played pickleball (“seems irritating”), prefers Jeopardy over Wheel of Fortune, has avocados at home, keeps cereal in Tupperware (not boxes), array of cereals but more interested in a full cooked breakfast ("grits, eggs, beef bacon, biscuits").
• Household snack supply: lots of chips and especially seaweed crisps, which "go very fast."
• Big fan of Korean airlines for seaweed soup. (59:16)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Modern Specials:

  • “This is not a special, it doesn’t have any perspective…Yo, you ever shitted with your boots on? That’s not a special.” — Ali Siddiq (07:18)

• About His Family’s Support:

  • “Anybody in my family know my money is their money. If you need something, I’m straight. I just give. I’m not even the richest person in my family.” — Ali Siddiq (44:45)

• On Prisons and Food:

  • “A tuna fish can, open it up in a sock will have you in a wheelchair. Real easy.” — Ali Siddiq (67:02)

• On Being Too Good for Clubs:

  • “This lady came up to me, 'You are way too good to be here.' I’m like, ma’am…I am practicing.” — Ali Siddiq (30:12)

• Why He Brings Tuna on Planes:

  • “I bring the tuna pack…and I crushed the Fritos up and put them in the pouch.” — Ali Siddiq (61:18)

• On Answering Every Call:

  • “I’m not letting nobody restrict me from using my damn phone…Really I don’t care who calls your phone.” — Ali Siddiq (52:57)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Opening Banter / Returning Guest Introduction: [01:46]
• Comic Life Off the Road: [02:29] – [04:13]
• Clubs vs. Theaters / "Specials" Rant: [05:10] – [09:41]
• Hard Rooms & Bombing Stories: [13:05] – [15:34]
• Denied from Comedy Clubs: [16:06]
• Green Room Riders: [25:11] – [27:20]
• Travel & Food Stories: [33:05] – [38:11]
• Greece & Family Vacations: [38:11] – [47:08]
• Airport/Travel Woes: [49:06] – [50:35]
• Prison Spreads & Weapon Can Mechanics: [63:00] – [67:23]
• Lightning Round/“Are You Garbage?” Game: [52:52] – [59:47]
• Closing / Tour Plugs: [69:22]

True-To-Episode Tone and Takeaway

The episode is a reckless, rolling, insight-packed hang, as always, with Ali’s trademark honesty, deep comedy wisdom, and meandering tales ranging from green rooms to the Greek isles to Texas family tables. Kevin and Foley match his energy with fast-fire bits, self-deprecating humor, and warm camaraderie. Sit back, laugh hard, and learn a little about what makes a real stand-up “special” (hint: it’s not airplane jokes or streaming deals, but something closer to lived experience, community, and keeping things just a little garbage).

Catch Ali’s new specials and tour dates at alisadiq.com.
Hosts: @kevinryancomedy | @hfogpodcast | Guest: @alisiddiq