Andrew Santino Returns!

Summary

Are You Garbage? – “Andrew Santino Returns!” (May 14, 2026)

Episode Overview

In this lively return episode, comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan welcome back Andrew Santino (stand-up, Bad Friends, Whiskey Ginger) for a hilarious, fast-paced, and often self-deprecating “garbage audit.” The trio dives into what makes someone “garbage or classy,” swapping stories about everyday habits, food preferences, social faux pas, booze, sports allegiances, and more. Santino’s blend of Hollywood credibility and blue-collar roots sets the stage for relatable, laugh-out-loud moments, all filtered through the show’s signature lens of affectionate trashiness.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Hollywood Life & Friendships

• Intro/Hollywood Reputation (02:59)
  • Foley jokes Santino is his “most Hollywood friend,” yet Santino insists he stays grounded by only quickly texting back people he likes.
  • Quote (03:29, Santino): "For some people, I don't text back right away. ... It’s dependent upon how the last exchange was."
• On Doing Favors (04:10)
  • The group agrees there's an age when helping friends move is out of the question—unless it’s a close family member or someone who genuinely can't afford movers.
  • Quote (05:19, Santino): "Would I help someone move? No. Not at our age. Get a mover."

Hospitality & Entertaining at Home

• Night Off Routine (06:56)
  • Santino describes his ideal night: home with wife and dog, ordering food ("every dollar that would go to a child goes to DoorDash").
• Food & Cooking (07:03–13:58)
  • Admits to never cooking, preferring takeout over making messes in the kitchen.
  • He and his wife are "huge leftover people," a habit learned from his Irish Catholic grandmother.
  • Memorable Moment (13:31, Santino): "My grandmother had stuff that expired seven years ago in her fridge, and we'd still eat it."
• Plating Delivery Food Debate (07:31)
  • The gang debates whether to eat directly from takeout containers or plate dishes; Santino is staunchly container-only: "Why dirty a dish? That's why I ordered out."
• Hosting Friends (14:44–15:12)
  • Santino likes “small, intimate groups” over big parties: "Gives me anxiety, too much going on."
• Birthday / Home Hibachi Chef Story (15:28–17:55)
  • After Benihana declined a 25-person party, Santino’s wife hired a hibachi chef to perform in their backyard, which ended up being cheaper and more fun—"He up every trick ... most fun night I've ever had."

House Rules & Boundaries

• Bathroom Policies (21:12–23:41)
  • Main floor guest bathroom available; master bedroom/bathroom strictly off-limits except for "a couple buddies."
  • Admits guests snoop medicine cabinets, joking: "It's a natural reaction to look in someone's bathroom to see what medicine they're taking, what toothpaste they use."
• Shower Preferences (23:46–24:23)
  • Group discussion on bar soap vs. body wash choices (Santino: current favorite is Native’s “green one”).

Home Stock & Drinks

• Water & Beer (24:40–27:18)
  • Santino offers filtered sink water ("LA has some of the best tap water") and keeps a mini fridge with Michelob Ultra (“dad beer”), Guinness, some craft beers, and whatever guests have left behind.
• Bourbon & Spirits Collection (27:18–28:36)
  • Santino admits to keeping "nothing short of 50 bottles" of whiskey at home; the best stuff stays at his studio for podcast guests.
  • Brands discussed: Pappy Van Winkle, Blanton’s, Weller, Bulleit (as mixing bourbon), Don Julio 1942, Tito’s for vodka, but "no respect" for expensive vodka (“vodka is an alcoholics drink”).

Restaurant & Tipping Etiquette

• Dining Out Orders (29:53–32:32)
  • Santino usually asks for a bourbon list; will switch to Coke Zero as a mixer, aims to minimize sugar intake but "loves sweets."
• Favorite Sweets & Ice Cream (30:50–33:47)
  • After dinner: "gelato walks" with his wife and dog; at home, avoids pints to prevent overeating—goes out for a single serving instead.
• Tipping Fiasco Story (47:06–54:03)
  • Foley and KJ recount tipping confusion after a $400+ Beverly Hills lunch, free dessert comped by a waiter: the anxiety of “over-tipping” as comedians recognized in public. Santino shares his own tipping conundrums: “If they recognize you, you gotta forget about it—you are cooked.”

Food Hot Takes

• Ice Cream Cones Debate (34:24–34:54)
  • Consensus that sugar cones are classic; waffles are a bit much and fragile.
• Sandwich & Pizza Spots (35:09–36:14)
  • LA food recommendations: Giada, Uncle Paulie’s, Brentwood Market, regional pizza differences (NY vs. LA).
• Mexican Food & Burgers (36:15-38:48)
  • Santino raves about “burger dia” (burger cooked like a quesadilla) from a Mexico trip; hot take that fajitas are overrated “white guy order.”
  • New pro dip: “sour cream as a base, then salsa on top” for chips.

Sports & City Allegiances

• Philly & Chicago Teams (57:25–59:23)
  • Discussion about the sanctity of being a true Flyers fan vs. bandwagon etiquette. Santino is a die-hard Chicago Cubs fan but welcomes fair-weather fans: "We just want the glory."
• Baseball Hats Loyalty (59:59–64:48)
  • Santino’s rules: He collects hats from stadiums he’s visited, sometimes wears Dodgers gear as a Chicago transplant, but will never wear a Cardinals hat ("Garbage, trash, St. Louis Cardinals—you stink!").
• Brand Loyalty, Food Fights With Dad (69:14-70:10)
  • Santino says father was always loyal to opposite brands—Burger King over McDonald's, Pepsi over Coke.

Coca-Cola Hierarchy & Movie Snack Rituals

• Coke Preferences (77:44–79:23)
  • Santino declares: "Mexican Coke in a glass bottle is the greatest version," followed by fountain, then can, with plastic bottle “dead last, can’t believe people like them.”
• Movie Snacks (75:16–77:36)
  • His ritual: huge popcorn bucket, Dr. Pepper, and debates overuse of the touch-screen drink machines ("too much, don’t like the flavors mix").
  • The trio swaps nostalgic tales of getting candy and bucket vs. bag popcorn—Santino pro-tipping teens at concessions ("throw ‘em a twenty").

Most Famous Person Met as a Kid

• Santino’s Story (65:08–66:30)
  • Met Allie Mills (Wonder Years mom) at a burger joint at age seven; "She signed a napkin, it’s still in my baby book."
  • Other stories: DJ Man Cow of Q101, and later, Fred Savage directing him.

---

Notable Quotes

• On responding to texts and favors

  "If the last exchange was like... they didn’t hit me back for three or four days, we got to put them in a penalty box."
  — Andrew Santino (03:17)

• On refusing to help friends move

  “Would I help someone move? No. Not at our age. Get a mover.”
  — Santino (05:19)

• On never cooking

  "Why dirty a dish? That’s why I ordered out."
  — Santino (07:40)

• On the guest bathroom policy

  “You wouldn’t be able… I wouldn’t allow you upstairs. No, I put the little ropes up for people so they don’t go upstairs.”
  — Santino (22:24)

• On trashy vs classy

  “Hibachi is the thing trashy people think is classy.”
  — Kevin Ryan (16:22)

• On what’s in his drinks fridge

  “You want a beer? I always have a couple of beers for people. MC Ultra… Guinness for me, Allagash, Miller Lite, Bud Light, a couple sours for my buddy Jim.”
  — Santino (26:00)

• On leftover culture

  “My grandmother… had stuff that expired seven years ago in her fridge, and we’d still eat it.”
  — Santino (13:31)

• On vodka

  “Vodka is an alcoholics drink. … No respect for expensive vodka.”
  — Santino (29:35)

• On movie snacks

  “Popcorn ain’t gonna… There’s not enough popcorn at AMC to do that [fill you up].”
  — Kevin Ryan (76:50)

• On sporting hats loyalty

  “The only hat I will never buy, never own, never wear, refuse: garbage, trash, St. Louis Cardinals. You stink!”
  — Santino (62:46)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Intro & Welcome – 00:00–01:58
• Hollywood, Texting, and Favors – 02:59–04:35
• Moving & Airport Help – 05:10–06:42
• “Night Off” at Home, Cooking, Leftovers – 06:56–13:58
• Eating Out of Takeout Containers – 07:31–07:48
• Entertaining at Home, Birthday Hibachi Story – 14:44–17:55
• Bathroom Boundaries, Snooping in Homes – 21:12–23:41
• Shower & Soap Preferences – 23:46–24:23
• Fridge & Drinks Setup – 24:40–27:18
• Booze Collection & Home Bar Rules – 27:18–28:36
• Restaurant Orders, Sweets Walks – 29:53–33:47
• Tipping Fiasco – 47:06–54:03
• Baseball Team Hats & Sports Loyalty – 59:59–64:48
• Coke and Movie Snacks Rituals – 77:44–79:23
• First Famous Person Met – 65:07–66:30

---

Tone & Closing

The episode overflows with rapid-fire jokes, nostalgia, everyday debates, and obtusely affectionate ribbing—all in the spirit of Are You Garbage’s signature sensibility: celebrating the blue-collar, the humble, and the self-aware “trashy” choices that bind us. Santino radiates self-deprecating charm, gleefully owning his “garbage” roots and new “classy” impulses, while Foley and Ryan riff, challenge, and roast with the ease of longtime friends. Fans get behind-the-scenes glimpses of the comedians’ genuine personalities, plus plenty of actionable recs for food, drink, and even tipping.

Andrew Santino plugs his new YouTube game show “The Bad Game,” his ongoing podcasts Bad Friends and Whiskey Ginger, and shares he’ll return to touring later in the year.

---

For anyone who missed the episode, this summary covers every meaningful laugh, insight, and trash/class moment—a front-row seat to three comics showing that “garbage” is a state of mind… and maybe just the best way to live.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is. Are you Garbage?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

It's our little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that if they grew up to be classy. Yeah, Just a big old piece of trash.

[C]

Trash, trash, trash.

[A]

I'm your host, Hollywood Hank Foley, coming at you. West Hollywood here, Los Angeles, California. And Toady's back in Philly. And from the American Express statement, she's with a couple of Coors, like, party balls. Okay, Respected Mike coast is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of Ru Garbage. Bit of an international businessman, my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan.

[B]

Hey, what's up? Everybody shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in as always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube.

[C]

Full video available over there on Spotify.

[B]

And the boys are climbing the fraking charts. And obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com re garbage. You go over there, you get all that bonus content, gang.

[A]

That's right, gang. We couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest back with us again today. It's been a minute. Last time we. Last time we had him on a pod, we were also out here in Hollywood. All right. His meteoric rise continues. He's one of our aces in the industry. One of the best. You know, I'm on Bad Friends. You know, I'm on Whiskey Ginger and just about everywhere else. Give it up for that Andrew Santino, everybody. Hey, good looking kid. Look at you.

[C]

I'm the ace, huh?

[A]

Top gun. I'm an ace. You know you are.

[C]

I'm playing for the Las Vegas Aces, the basketball team.

[A]

Is that true?

[C]

The WNBA team?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They want a man power forward.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna do blackface next season. They said I gotta wait a year. You can't do it for the. For your rookie season. You can't.

[B]

You can't do it.

[A]

Thomas Howell, do a soul man in the Bylaw.

[C]

That movie was so funny, dude. Insane. Full blackface.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Full black face. Black hands, too. Black arm.

[B]

You can't just stop at the face.

[C]

I think it's funny if you don't. You know what I mean? If you don't. If you have the white hands, it's way funnier to me.

[A]

Didn't work that much after that, Mr. C. Thomas Al.

[C]

Yeah. What happened?

[A]

I don't know. Shout out to him. He's.

[C]

You Know legend, probably a good guy. Yeah, he 100% lives in this neighborhood, by the way. There's no doubt in my mind.

[A]

This is.

[C]

This is. This is who lives over here.

[A]

Oh, really?

[C]

Hollywood. Yeah, this is old Hollywood. West Hollywood is old Hollywood. This is where like all the TV stars that you know from your childhood, this is where they live.

[B]

Really?

[C]

100%. This or far out east, but this is West Hollywood. Like these old bungalows and all that stuff on the block. This is kind of their secret little.

[A]

So I could run into the guy that plays how and Mad Murdoch on the A Team.

[C]

He's next door. He's right on Sierra Bonito. He's right there. Dude, I've seen him.

[A]

Wait, you know what? Did you say his name?

[C]

No, I said he's on Sierra Bonita.

[A]

The street, I think. I thought you said we don't know any streets.

[C]

I know, that's why I said it. He's like, that's his name.

[B]

Like a right on La Cucamonga Boulevard.

[C]

Hey, careful.

[A]

By Erwan Avenue.

[B]

Careful.

[C]

These are all. No, that's Ice Avenue now that we've renamed it Santa Monica's Ice Ave. Yeah, we're fixing the city.

[B]

Taking the city back.

[C]

It does, boys. Back in.

[B]

Thanks for back in Hollywood. We're back in Holly.

[A]

Weird back over here.

[B]

You might be one of my most Hollywood friends I have, I swear.

[A]

Yeah, you are.

[B]

You're tapped in. Not in a bad way. I'm saying in a good way. And you're a level headed kid. You know why? Every time I text him, every time

[C]

he's right there, I'll text you right back.

[B]

Minutes.

[C]

I'll text you. There's maybe not even.

[B]

Maybe the bubbles pop. Right? If I go. This kid's.

[C]

For some people, I don't text back right away.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

And that is dependent upon how the last exchange was. So if the last exchange was like. Like they didn't hit me back for three or four days.

[B]

We got to put them in a penalty box for a little.

[C]

Coming right back.

[A]

He never responded to my Venmo request, which I was insulted by.

[C]

Well, the amount was insane. It's like 30 grand. It just said help. 30 grand. I was like, dude, I don't call

[A]

it the pizza emoji.

[C]

I know. Eggplant. I was like, I don't know, dude. But I. I am more selective as I get older. If it's someone I love and I respect and love. Yeah, but. But if it's someone that's had kind of a. Or it's Also, sometimes if it's just someone in my life that only asks for favors.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Hey, can you come. Can you come help me with this thing? Or can I call you about the thing? Or. And I'm like, never like a. Hey, what's up? Or like a. You know what I mean? If it's only favors of buddies that I know, like, in town, I don't know, then I get a little.

[B]

It's tough, too, because we're like. We're very. You know, you got to become very aware of that when you're like, we were going to ask somebody to, like, if they wanted to do the show or something. I was just like, I feel like every time. I don't want to make it seem like I'm going to this person for stuff.

[C]

Yeah, but not. Pods are fine. Pods are different. This is like, have fun, hang out, do a pod, work. But I'm talking about favors. Like, favors. I was gonna ask people that want, need stuff, and you're like, all right, well, I guess. I mean, you didn't talk to me for six months, but now you like.

[B]

Can you give me Bobby Lee's number?

[C]

Honestly, he told me specifically not to get.

[A]

We love you, Bobby.

[C]

I don't. I don't. Can't stand the guy. Love him to death.

[B]

Actually, I got one of them.

[C]

Yeah, me. And he's got a little. He's got Japanese hair today, too, tied

[A]

up in the bow.

[B]

His name is Blubby Lee.

[A]

That's just rude.

[B]

The comedy pod.

[A]

We need Bobby here to balance this out.

[C]

Yeah. No, no, no, we don't.

[A]

He's sleeping. Let me ask you this. I bet you Bobby sleeps heavy and

[C]

4pm, 3pm, 4pm usually gets up. We can't, pod. We've never potted with the sun up. It's impossible. The sun has to be down.

[A]

Are you at the point? Would there be anybody that called you and said, hey, can you help me move? Would you do that? Are you there? No.

[C]

Yeah. No, I would never. That's insane. No, not at our age.

[A]

Get a mover. Oh.

[C]

I would do it for, like, like, my little cousin who lives here.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

My younger cousin or.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Yes. Always, Always, always. I would. I would. I would help someone move if financially, I know they couldn't afford to hire movers.

[A]

Now, would you help the mover?

[C]

Would you just hire movers?

[B]

Yeah. Okay. That's your way.

[C]

But I mean, I would help them. That's me helping.

[A]

You're not hooking the couch around the brother.

[C]

I mean, because back in. I don't know how it was for, you know, you guys in, in, in New York, but we young comics moved every year out here. I moved a thousand times every year. You'd have to get a buddy to help you move to a different apartment because you do a one year lease. And then you'd be like, it's a dump and I can't afford it. Or you're like, I want to move or we get leveled up, I can

[B]

get out of here.

[C]

Yeah. Or like, or, or like get more roommates to pay less rent because no one's home because everyone's on the road.

[A]

Right.

[C]

So like that staggering thing of your twenties. I'll never again, dude, I never want to. Moving is moving and going to the airport. I'll never pick you up from the airport.

[A]

You never.

[C]

I'll send you a car, okay? Yeah, I'll. My parents, I'm always sending them cars, like friends if, if it's someone you know. A good old friend from home. Yeah, let's just send you car. If they're like, hey, can you scoop us? I'm like, for sure there'll be a

[B]

guy picking you up with an iPad with your name.

[C]

I cannot, I cannot go down there. We go down so much for our job. It's insane. It's like, I don't want to fudgeing. I don't want to be there if I don't have to be there. It's like when somebody goes, you're going to go hang out at the comedy club. It's like, I don't have a spot. And they're like, why not? It's like, I don't want to hang out. I don't want to go to the office if I don't have any work to do.

[B]

Yeah, I don't really. It's not for me, a goddamn gentleman.

[C]

I can't do. It's my job. So it's weird to go. Unless it's like, hey, someone's in town I haven't seen in a long time. I'll go get a beer, right? That's fine. But I, I never understood hanging out at the spot if you're not working.

[A]

What's a night off look like for you?

[C]

Guy like you, I'm a lot of nights off lately, dude. I'm doing a good job of trying to balance it.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Home, dog, wife, movie. Order in, order in. We don't know how to cook, dude. We tried. It sucks. It's boring. It's. It's a, it's shitty. Then you got to Clean it up and then it's not that good. You're like, let's make a professional do it. Why are we doing.

[B]

This guy's a dirt.

[C]

Actually, we don't have any kids, dude. We. It's like, all the money that would go to a child goes to doord postmates.

[B]

Okay, here's employing people.

[A]

Go ahead, hit him with it.

[B]

Yeah, here's a good question. You get door that you. You know, whatever you get.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, do you eat out of that container or do you plate it?

[C]

Oh, container. Always plate it. You played why. Why dirty a dish?

[A]

Don't.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm just saying I've done it. You feel fancy.

[C]

I don't like to plate it because I know that's a dish that I wanted to avoid having to clean. That's why I ordered out. No, no, no. We're eating right out. Last night we had Thai food. O' Connor came over with.

[B]

Okay, shout out.

[A]

And we shout out to the lady

[C]

we ordered some tie.

[A]

This is her hair tie, by the way.

[C]

Yeah, it. Look, I got it from her at

[A]

the store the other night.

[C]

Did you really?

[A]

I've been using it ever since.

[C]

How many girls do you ask for hair ties?

[A]

No, but that's a good move.

[C]

Yeah, that's a good. That's a good.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Hey, could I. You mind if I grab a hair tie?

[A]

If.

[C]

Obviously, she's dating our friend, but if she was single. Yes, that's a good move. I got one more good move. A buddy. A buddy was talking to me about his single days, about his. His favorite move in New York. This is pretty good. I was like, what was your favorite move before you got married? He goes, I would do this thing. I'd be at a nightclub or a bar or whatever, and I notice the girl that I. The pretty girl that I'm, like, looking for. And he goes, I would wait until she makes eye contact, and no matter what man was around her, like, in any vicinity, I'd go, boyfriend. I'd mouth boyfriend. And he goes. Their reaction is the dead giveaway of whether it's okay to engage or no. Because if they go, yes. Like, you know, it's my boyfriend. Like that. Okay, close it down. But. But if they go like this, they either go. He goes. They say no two ways. They know. Like this. They go, no, like that. Like, no, that's not. I don't know that man. Or they go, no. Then he goes, you're in.

[B]

Because standing next door, this piece of.

[C]

He goes, that. That was my. He's like, that was my power move. If they laughed at the idea that that would be my boyfriend. He goes, it was a door open of comedy for me to, like, get him to. Because they were like, no. And he come over, be like, I was hoping, you know. And then you engage. I go, that. I would go, how often did it work? He goes, constantly.

[A]

What does it mean if they ignore you?

[B]

Huh?

[A]

If they look at you and ignore

[B]

you and call security thing.

[C]

Yeah, they call security. I feel like that man keeps staring at me, asking if everyone's my boy. You'd go up to her. You're like, is the bartender your boyfriend? She's like, get this guy out of here, dude.

[A]

You can't do it when you're three feet away.

[B]

This one I saw. I saw in Ireland work. Not even joking. It sounds crazy. I saw a hundred percent of the time. I was.

[A]

This wasn't me. It was.

[B]

It was an Irish kid. My buddies were. Were staying there for a couple of months, and I went over for, like, two weeks and stayed with them, and we went out every night. And the kid did this every night. And nobody ever got upset, which is wild because it's very. Me too. He would. He would go, hey, I'm a. We talking to a girl. We'd be smoking out front or whatever. And he'd go, hey, where'd you get those fake eyelashes? And she'd be like, these are my real eyelashes. He goes, I'm a. He's like, I'm a makeup artist. Like, I've done everybody. Like, those are for sure fake eyelashes. And they go, no, they're not. These are my real natural. He's like, you don't have to lie to me. Everybody else will buy it. I'm not buying. He's like, they're good. That's why I'm saying it's. And they go, nuh. He goes, look, I'll show you the scene. Close your. Look up in the light and close your eyes. And they would do that. And then he would kiss him on the lips. And it worked a hundred percent of the time. It was fucking crazy. Wow.

[A]

Is he a real makeup artist?

[C]

No,

[A]

it's pretty good.

[C]

Can I talk to you for a second?

[B]

I also had it. I also knew a kid that would say, before the Internet was real big. He said he was the punter for the Philly Soul, the Arena Football League.

[C]

Hey, who knows?

[B]

Yeah, could have been.

[C]

See, that is a good move. It is. It is crossing a massive line, but, yeah, that's a good move.

[B]

I didn't Say it was a good move. I just said it was.

[C]

That's insane. Kissing a random woman was wild.

[B]

Dude, this is like. It was a different time.

[C]

Yeah, I know. It was when you could still be

[B]

at a bar and just like, you just.

[C]

You could still beat up a minority. Nobody complained about it. You know, the good old days.

[A]

Yeah, no, you know what?

[C]

It's. It's. It's. It's the negging. That's what it is when you're being mean. That was the old days of, like, ne. What was the guy that wrote the book about being mean to girls?

[B]

Mystery.

[C]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[B]

But he's big in our. He's big in our world.

[C]

The Game. It's called the Game.

[B]

Oh, I don't know.

[C]

Do you know what I'm talking about? He wrote a book. My roommate. My first roommate in LA read this book. It transformed his entire life.

[A]

What a scumbag.

[C]

Is it called the Game, Am I right?

[B]

By Neil Strauss.

[C]

Neil Strauss, exactly. He wrote this entire book. It's based. They made a TV show about it. It's basically about.

[A]

Not the Michael Douglas vehicle, right?

[C]

That's. Not yet.

[B]

Right now.

[C]

Yes, Correct. No.

[A]

Good movie, though.

[C]

Great movie. It's about being mean to women in a strategic way that gets them to fall into your trap. And he wrote a book about it, and millions of men followed this as Bible, including my first roommate in Los Angeles. And honestly, dude, I shit on it heavily to his face because I was like, this is the dumbest. This book is stupid. This is gross. This is also, like, disingenuous and phony. He would get so many women from. Was unbelievable.

[B]

Crazy.

[C]

It blew my mind.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And this guy. And this guy. I mean, he couldn't. I mean, insane. He couldn't tie his shoes. The guy was such a goof.

[B]

Like, still talk to him.

[C]

Absolutely not.

[A]

No.

[C]

Yeah. No, no. We went very different ways. He painted the ceiling. The guy was a maniac. I came home one day, he was painting the ceiling. I was like, what are you doing? He's like, I painted all the walls. You got to paint the ceiling. I was like, you've never been in a house before? It was insane. Used to leave candles on all the time. He left candles on. Be in his bed reading a book by himself, you know? Oh, you know what he would do to light the candles? Turn on the stove.

[B]

That's wild.

[C]

You turn on the stove and leave the light on. And we had an old stove, you know, the pilot. Pilot light ones. So I was like, that's right next to a leaky little gas light. Who knows if one of them. Anyway, shout out. Great. He knows who he is.

[B]

Hey, you know. You know he's like five chicks around him, right?

[C]

He probably does.

[A]

That's me, ladies, right there.

[C]

Anyway, this is my roommate. He was a good kid. He was a good kid.

[A]

Cook?

[C]

No, honestly, we try. My wife does try sometimes, but. Okay, here's another way to look at it. We both work full time, right? I have my jobs, she has hers. I don't want the expectation for her or me to come home and have to cook because we've been doing all day. So it's like a celebration. It's like a sweet treat, you know? And we do get a sweet treat almost every single night.

[A]

Is that right?

[C]

Have to do you do like you do.

[B]

You over order. You do. You go like, we'll split an appetizer. We'll each get a dish and we'll split a dessert. Or do you go like, get the. This.

[C]

No, we get as much as we can. And then you have leftovers for the next few days.

[A]

You do the leftovers.

[C]

I'm a huge leftover guy. I'm an Irish Catholic. My. My grandmother. My grandmother had stuff that expired seven years ago in her fridge, and we'd still eat it. My grandmother refused to throw away. That was like, insane. She raised 10 kids. Nothing was going to waste. So we were big leftover family. And I know people that don't eat it. It doesn't bother me at all.

[A]

My mom rolls the dice on chobani. Very heavy. She has a lot of faith.

[C]

Cultured. It's.

[B]

It's. Yeah, it's already.

[C]

It's already gone bad. Yeah.

[A]

A lot of faith.

[C]

Yeah, but I see that doesn't. That stuff. The only thing that would bother me, that would go potentially bad would be like when milk flips, you know, and you're like, all right, that flip. But I will sometimes neighborhood know, you know what Milk. You know, right on the edge.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Like before it. Transition.

[B]

It's a little better.

[A]

What? Milk.

[C]

When.

[A]

Milk right there.

[C]

When you're too pre op. When it's a pre op. Yeah. Oh, it's transition yet. I'll do it. It gives the cereal a little twang. Just a little bite.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't mind talking about.

[C]

Yeah. So we don't. We don't ever cook. We try. She does, and she's actually pretty good when she does. But her time, it's like she's got so much shit on her plate. I don't I don't want her to feel like she has to like cook for us, so. And I'm not gonna cook cuz I'm fucking atrocious at cooking. Yeah, you guys do that?

[A]

I'm sorry. Good.

[C]

No, I'm just terrible at it. It's a waste of my time.

[A]

You guys do any entertaining over at the house?

[C]

Yes, we have. We have small sections of friends come over like that. Like, oh, Connie coming over last night. Like, I'll have a couple people. I'd have you guys over, just you two.

[B]

The ragtag crew we roll with.

[C]

I don't look at the socks. I don't trust those socks.

[B]

He's a rich kid though.

[C]

He grew up.

[B]

He knows how to handle himself.

[C]

Yeah, but you know what this thing about rich kids, they always want to look poor. That's what they do. So he wants to look broke.

[B]

Well, that's cool.

[C]

Now that's why he looks wet and dirty.

[B]

That's New York. Cool is to look.

[C]

Look poor. Rich kids, no, you can come over to my house. You're a good looking kid, you can stick around. You 100% good. No, I like small, intimate groups. That's my favorite. I don't want a big party. Like once in a while we'll throw a birthday party at the house or something. Yeah. But for the most part, it gives me anxiety. Too many, too much going on now.

[A]

We got a question for you, by the way.

[C]

Side note, I had one of the best. My wife threw me one of the best birthdays this last year. We were gonna, we were gonna rent out Benihana. A room at Benihana for all of our friends.

[B]

It's fun.

[C]

Fun, right?

[B]

Trashy, but fun.

[C]

We called Benihana. Not interested. I'm not. It was the funny. They were like, we're not doing. I think it was 25 people. My wife had said what?

[A]

Not that's what that said. They made their dude.

[C]

And they were like, we have to break up two tables. And we. And we don't have that. We don't have that available for this weekend. This weekend being. It was weeks out and they kept saying no. And then my wife, our friend Hillary was like, she's like, hey, have you guys ever thought about getting like a hibachi chef to the house? They do it at the house.

[A]

Big.

[C]

It was cheaper than if we rented out Benihana. So if we got two tables that I would have to pay for, it was less than half of the price to have the guy come to the house. I should show you guys videos, this

[B]

guy on the Blackstone.

[C]

Yeah, he did it on the Blackstone right in the backyard.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And it was hysterical. He had a Super Soaker filled with sake, and he was like, sake. And would hit people right in the

[B]

face with it because he's never been so. Hibachi is a big. Hibachi is the thing that trashy people think is classic.

[C]

It is.

[B]

I've gone. I went two or three times when I was a kid, and I was kid, like, in my early 20s. It was like, this is the richest thing I've ever seen.

[A]

Who's Blackstone? He brings it.

[B]

Gary Blackstone. It's his opener.

[C]

Jamal Blackstone. He works on comics. He works on comics on Lee. Jamal Blackstone. Blackstone is a flat. You know what a black.

[A]

I know what a Blackstone is. I'm saying, hey, no, this is rude,

[C]

but you know what a Blackstone is.

[A]

I'm not saying who is Blackstone. I'm saying who's. Who owns it?

[C]

Who's black?

[B]

They bring them.

[C]

If you need them.

[B]

They bring them.

[A]

They bring it. Okay. I don't know if you use yours.

[C]

No, I have.

[A]

You had to have Blackstone as a

[C]

prerequisite, but not a Blackstone. I want. Want. I wanted one. And then I thought, how often am I gonna use it?

[B]

I do that all the time.

[A]

You don't cook.

[C]

I don't cook. It's not worth it.

[A]

Japanese gotta come over to have a

[C]

Japanese guy come over the Super Circle filled with sake and hit you in the face. And Bobby, he kept trying. He loved Bobby. Kept trying to get Bobby to. And I was like, he's an alcoholic. And he's like, sake. I was like, he's. He cannot have alcohol. And he kept being like, later. I'm like, dude brother. It was insane. But Bobby loved the guy. He was dancing with him, and he up, by the way, the funniest thing was he couldn't do any of the tricks. Like, he fucked up every trick.

[A]

That's great.

[B]

Yeah. It's not even at Benihana. He's on the.

[C]

He's a road.

[B]

He's a road.

[C]

We got the Teemu hibachi chef. He up every trick. He broke the eggs before they. He could flip them into the hat. Shrimp didn't work. Didn't do any of that, like.

[B]

But it was in the volcano collapse.

[C]

Most fun night I've ever had.

[A]

I'm sorry, folks. I'm really Italian. I apologize.

[C]

Yeah, he was. He was a Jewish kid from. From. From north Northern Chicago. No, it Was fun. We had a great time.

[A]

Kevin, talk about Helix.

[B]

Helix. Helix, Helix.

[A]

Now, we've been talking about Helix for a long time.

[B]

They're a good brand.

[A]

Have they fallen off?

[B]

They have not. They've only gotten better.

[A]

They've only gotten better. I love Helix Mattresses, gang. There's got to be somebody out there that's bought in a Helix mattress, otherwise it wouldn't keep coming back.

[B]

You ain't lying, dog.

[A]

So the homies are out there making purchases.

[B]

Ayg moves Helix Mattresses.

[A]

Dude, if you're not on a Helix, what do you do? If you're not on a Helix, you're moving the mattress on the top of a Corolla. Yes.

[B]

So get a Helix jammed up. Guys, we're. I mean, we've been. I've been a Helix family at this point for going on five, six years. One of the best decisions I've ever made in my personal life. I was buying cheap, stupid discount mattresses, going to, you know, mattress warehouse, barn, whatever, going, I'll take this for 99.99, 70 something. Oh, my God. Oh, you're gonna need this and this. And then after two weeks, I'm like lumped in the middle. There's no support. I got a bad back. I'm getting bad sleep. My days are ruined.

[A]

Helix.

[B]

Yeah, baby. They got the free. You go on, you go to helix.com you take the quiz two, three minutes. Figures out exactly how you sleep. Sleep heavy, sleep light. You bigger boys. If you're little, sleep hot, cold, firm, soft, whatever you match up, they friggin take care of you. Yes. Go to helixsleep.com garbage for 27% off site wide, baby. That's helixleep.com garbage for 27% off Site wide, baby. A Memorial Day sale. Best of the web. Make sure to enter the show name at checkout. Are you Garbage? So they know the boy sent you. Helixleep.com garbage do it.

[A]

Do it, Kip. I love that Rocket Money.

[B]

Who don't love that rocket Money?

[A]

I love that rocket money. Gang, do yourself a favor. Go over to Rocket Money. They can track your subscriptions and has the ability to cancel unwanted ones within the app and a few tap saving over users over. How much you think?

[B]

I don't know, 20, 30 bucks.

[A]

20, 30, you talking 800. 180 million in canceled subscriptions. Let's go. You got automatic transactions categorized across accounts plus customized categories and tags to reveal spending patterns.

[B]

They track it.

[A]

They know what you're doing. They know what you can get rid of do yourself a favor. Go to Rock of Money. Get your shit straightened out.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You can set budgets and goals. You get personalized insights and regular reports and receive real time alerts for large transactions. I get them all the time. You hey, what the heck is even at Okay. I did authorize that. That's not authorized.

[A]

Let you.

[B]

It's really got me to wrap my head around my finances which have been if I use the dashboard. I was on the dashboard yesterday checking out going what's coming up? What's going out? What's coming in? What are we doing? Lock and load. Get ready. See it all in one place. Good snapshot from it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills so you can grow your savings. I was subscribed. I have said to like this Eastern European fight streaming service to watch something one night when I was drunk and it was billing me signed up. Boom, click click click. Canceled. Get out of town. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join RocketMoney.com garbage that's RocketMoney.com garbage one more time. RocketMoney.com garbage do it. Do it.

[A]

Let me ask you this.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You're having that party. Somehow we do get invited. I don't know. There's 15, 20 of us. Whatever.

[B]

There's.

[A]

I come to you and I say listen, man, I really got to use the bathroom. You got a bathroom on the first floor guest bathroom?

[C]

We do.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Listen, that'd be wild if he said no.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

He's got hibachi money but no first floor bathroom money.

[A]

This isn't going to be that kind of thing. Is there any way I can use your bathroom?

[C]

Upstairs in your bedroom there is a.

[B]

The. All the other ones are. The halls are out.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's either the first floor. He embarrasses himself in the honest with you.

[C]

Right around the corner from our house is a liquor store. And I know the guy.

[A]

A liquor store.

[C]

He would let you use the bathroom. He's a good guy. I go to him all the time.

[B]

Tell Jimmy I sent you.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Is anybody allowed in your master bedroom?

[B]

Like if you're showing the tour.

[A]

No, not the tour.

[C]

No. We don't tour the master. My wife doesn't like that because it's like if it's not clean the way she likes it to be.

[B]

Yeah, of course.

[C]

No mom and dad get it. Mom and dad get it. But that's. That's a week of us cleaning the House before they come over to see the thing.

[A]

So there's no shot of me getting to use the bathroom in your. In your master bedroom, Literally.

[C]

No, you wouldn't be able. I wouldn't allow you upstairs.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I respect.

[C]

No, I put the little ropes up for people so they don't go upstairs. You're not going up there.

[B]

You can't get over. He can't get over the dog game. He's all jammed up. You and the dog sitting at the bottom of the stairs looking up, just sharing treats.

[A]

I got his peanut butter ball. All right. Very classy answer.

[C]

Yeah. No. No. No chance.

[A]

Very good.

[C]

No, but, but, but, but. I would let you. I would let you sit on the couch in the living room. I would let you do that.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

Yeah, that's.

[B]

Hey, very nice of you.

[A]

Is there. Is there anybody in the entertainment business that if they needed to go up there, you'd let them do it?

[C]

There was a couple buddies I would let up there.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. A couple of friends. Yeah. You're not in that.

[A]

Okay, fair enough.

[C]

No, no, no, no, no. She doesn't want anybody upstairs. It. That's a. That's a. Her domain. Insecurity. She doesn't want people rummaging around the. Like, the bedrooms and us. Our stuff's up there. I think she gets. She doesn't like that.

[B]

There's a level of intimacy.

[A]

I would look through your.

[B]

He would. Dude.

[C]

I know.

[B]

That's what he'd be going through. He'd be going through your underwear drawer under her.

[A]

No, no.

[C]

I catch him sniffing my underwear.

[B]

Kids a freak.

[A]

Rich guy. I would definitely root through your bathroom, though.

[C]

You'd have to. Yeah, People do that. You go to the medicine cabinet 100%. You do. Every time you go to something. Someone's house.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You rummage with their.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

Yeah, you do. It's a. It's a natural reaction to look in someone's bathroom to see what medicine they're taking, what's under the sink, what toothpaste do they use. This is a natural reaction.

[A]

I love it.

[C]

You have to.

[B]

Well, that's why he's not letting you do it, because he knows. Correct.

[C]

I know what I do.

[B]

I know what I would do.

[C]

I don't want, like, are you bar soap or. Or body wash?

[A]

For sure.

[C]

You're a bar soap or body.

[B]

Was me.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

In my new place, I. I got a thing of dove.

[C]

No wash place in the new place.

[B]

It's not that great of a new place.

[C]

It's just a new place.

[B]

It's new to him.

[C]

Lateral. But your dove. Dove. The dove. The white bottle.

[B]

Cucumbers, nice.

[C]

Cucumber's. Actually.

[B]

I'm a bar soap man.

[C]

See?

[B]

Cheap, cheap bars.

[C]

I like bar soaps, but I found a new. A new smell that I really like.

[B]

What are you doing?

[C]

There's a Native. Is a company called Native. I like, I like those guys get

[A]

that at cvs Target.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, but I just like this. It's for me, it's just if it smells pretty good.

[A]

Is it the purple one with the purple writing?

[C]

No, the green one. It's like the. I don't even know, cool mint or whatever. The green one, Winter fresh. I buy it by color. I buy everything by color.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, careful by flavor.

[C]

Yeah, careful. I buy everything by color. Internet takes that and runs with it.

[B]

What Right now, like currently house stocked, we come over, right? What kind of water? And I go, I want a glass of water and I want a beer.

[A]

Glass of water.

[B]

What, what do you have to offer?

[C]

Water goes out of the sink. Sink water, no bottle.

[A]

What?

[C]

Yeah, sink water. Which is insane. You have a filter on it, of course.

[A]

Where is this? Downstairs? Or is it one of those things that. Hanging off the.

[C]

No, no, it's underneath the sink. It's a. It's one of these really nice filters that clinks into the sink.

[B]

Did you say glinks?

[A]

It clinks in.

[C]

Yeah, clinks.

[A]

Dehydrated. No, not what's deionized.

[B]

Osmosis. Reverse osmosis.

[A]

Reverse osmosis?

[C]

Yeah. I don't know.

[A]

She.

[C]

That she got it. I don't know.

[B]

It's a.

[C]

It's a hoity toity water, but it's nicer than the fridge water. But the fridge has the filter in the bottom. But I don't, I tell people don't do the fridge water, do the sink water. And they always like sink water. By the way, for people that need to know LA has some of the best tap water, we just get shit on because people like LA water. The tap water here is actually very good. It's not New York tap water, but it's better than people think it's going to be. So you could just drink tap, no filter. In fact, most of the city does. Does okay, but people get this weird thing. But yes, I say that for that. And then a beer. You want a beer? Whatever you got. What do you have? You know, I'm a bourbon guy, I'm a whiskey guy. So I always have a couple of beers for people. So I have MC Ultra. Always have an Ultra.

[B]

I just was driving across this.

[A]

In the main fridge.

[C]

No, we have a little. A little tiny, little booze fridge.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Mick Ultra. Because my. My dad loves that. And every dad. Every guy over 55 is like, hey, got a Mic Ultra? Because you start to learn, you're like. So I have Guinness for me because it's the only beer I drink. It's the only beer I like. I don't really like.

[B]

You have the nitro cans.

[C]

No, I have the. I like the bottles. The nitro cans are okay. I just like the glass because it keeps it colder. Yeah. So Guinness. I had Connie and I had one last night. Guinness. MC Ultra.

[A]

Connie drinks.

[C]

He's getting his PhD in it right now. The guy. I think he's gonna get a scholarship. And then I'll have a mix of whatever other people left. So it's usually like an Allagash. Is there? Or.

[B]

They'll be good company.

[C]

Always Miller Lights there. Bud Light is always like a couple of. A couple of domestic floaters. And then. And then what was also down there? And then. My good. My buddy Jim always likes sours. So there'll be a sour or two in the fridge. You don't know. You don't like that?

[A]

Like a whiskey sour?

[C]

No, brother. Yeah, he loves those. So he'll leave those and a couple of, like, you know, heady beers. Fish. Whatever they drink at a fish concert.

[B]

Yeah, whatever.

[C]

Wicked ipa.

[A]

Honey Brown Ale.

[C]

I don't mind those either, but I just. I don't love beer.

[B]

And then how many bottles of brown would you say you have?

[C]

Oh, brother. That's bad. That one's. That's embarrassing.

[A]

Do you have any?

[C]

Too many? I mean, I. Nothing short of 50 bottles of. Yeah.

[B]

What's the most expensive one, if you don't mind me asking?

[C]

Expensive is hard to know because most of those good ones are at my studio.

[B]

Gotcha.

[C]

The nice bourbon I keep at the studio to share with guests, like Pappy and stuff at home. I don't really. We don't really drink at home unless friends come over. Yeah. So I don't know. There's not. There's a couple of good bottles there. I've got a couple of nice wellers there. And I always keep a couple of blantons around because I like those as, like, a daily drinker, but nothing insane. Just like good, solid whiskey. And then I also have. You want a mixer? There's bullet bourbon and Jack there. And then there's.

[B]

I'm a Bullet. I'm a Bullet guy.

[C]

Yeah, that's always a good mixer.

[A]

Bullets. A mixer, 100% high end stuff.

[C]

What? No, no, it's on the same price

[A]

point to figure out who Pappy is.

[C]

Yeah, Pappy. Yeah.

[B]

We gave a bottle as a gift one time, remember?

[A]

Of course.

[C]

It's fantastic.

[B]

He doesn't remember.

[A]

Who did I give it to?

[B]

We gave it to my cousin who helped us with the lease of the studio. Also, funny story, he drank it, then got on a moped. Crashed the moped. It was. It's a whole thing. It ended up costing him a million. Hurt bad? No, not bad, but. Property damage.

[C]

Yeah, no, there's. And then there's also tequila, vodka and other stuff for other people, but I don't.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Bourbon is my. If I'm gonna have some people over, I'd rather have a glass of bourbon. I'll share a beer with anybody, but it's not my preference.

[A]

You got any that 1942 over there?

[C]

Yeah, I do, actually. Yeah, you do? Yeah, we always keep tequila for people.

[A]

Oh, I love that.

[C]

Yeah, that stuff's pretty good. Don Julio.

[A]

I got up.

[C]

Yeah, we got one of those for

[A]

people that like tequila, but those weird

[C]

things that look like bang hit the bell. Yeah, we always keep a couple for other people. Vodka I have no respect for whatsoever. When people buy expensive vodka, it's the dumbest game in the world. I was not aged. Why is it pricier? Because they filtered it more.

[B]

Yeah, they just run it through another filter.

[C]

No, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. It's. You're only putting that with something that tastes better. That's all it is.

[B]

You see, you can run the. You can buy like the Costco brand and run into a Brita and it will.

[C]

Kirkland is as good as.

[B]

It'll heighten the taste.

[C]

Yeah, it's a joke. That's how I know vodka is a scam. It didn't have to age. There's nothing to it. I don't respect it. So I keep a jug of Tito's for people that come over that want vodka. Yeah, jug of Tito's. The big guy. Yeah, you got it. Because people like vodka. Vodka is an alcoholics drink.

[A]

Hey.

[C]

Undoubtedly.

[B]

Shout out to my stepdad. Rest in peace, big dog.

[C]

Yeah, we love you, dog.

[A]

I like a teeny every once in a while.

[C]

Like the teeny martini, but it's. You only have that at a restaurant. People who drink martinis at home got a problem. That's dangerous. It's sad.

[B]

You sit down at a nice Restaurant. What's the order? What's the drink order?

[C]

I ask for a bourbon list if they have one. And then if. If they're. If they don't, then I'll just take like a Woodford with a splash of a diet. In fact, I switch now.

[B]

What a dirt bag.

[C]

I do. Yeah, I. I switch now. I do Coke Zero because it tastes better.

[B]

Hey, give it up for aunt Trish, everybody.

[C]

And you boys don't call anymore. You should call.

[A]

I'll do a Woodford with a splash of Mr. Pibb, please. Extra.

[C]

I just want a little bit of the caffeine if I'm out at a restaurant because I know it's going to be a night and then we're gonna go out. But if they don't have a good bourbon, I'll just drink a mixed bourbon and coke or whatever, you know, Or a little whiskey ginger, which I'm getting away from because the sugs trying to get off of trying to avoid sugar.

[A]

We talking.

[C]

Yeah, but I love sweets. Dude, I gotta stay in the gym because daddy loves sweet. Every time we have dinner, we'll end dinner. My wife and I will be like sitting around hanging with the dog, goofing off. And then she'll go, do you want to get like a chocolate thing or

[A]

you're going out to do that?

[C]

We like to go to. There's a gelato place near the house.

[A]

And I love.

[C]

Brother, I love you walk down there.

[A]

You take on there.

[C]

Take the dog. Take a walk. We're walkers. We're big walkers. We moved to a place specifically so we could walk in the neighborhood and we could get to a lot of spots. We got sick of the. The driving around. I was like, I don't want to get in my car to go to the grocery store. So we can walk to everything.

[B]

Very cool. That's.

[C]

Yeah, we have. She's the same way. She didn't like it either. She was like, I hate having to get in the car. Like, I have friends that live in the Hollywood Hills. You. You literally can't walk. If you need anything, you're getting in the whip and you have to go all the way down.

[B]

Scare me. Some of those houses sitting up in the nowhere.

[A]

I would be crossover. It's frightening.

[C]

Well, through the canyon. Yeah, you can take the highway. But I think. I think what's.

[A]

What it is called a canyon. It's the canyon mountains. A canyon or the.

[B]

No, the canyons in between the mountains.

[C]

Well, the road is called Laurel Canyon.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There's like Nicholas Canyon or Whatever canyon.

[C]

There's all

[B]

out. Yeah.

[C]

Be careful on these streets. You might hit one of my 30 kids.

[A]

So you and the wife take a nice walk with the.

[C]

Take a nice walk with a pup. If the pup's feeling it. She's a moody now, dude. There's nights now she's eight. So now she's at the age where I'll go, come on, let's go, cubs, let's go. And then she'll look at you and go. And go back and lay down. Yeah, I know when she's in the mood and when she's not. So we'll take the pup sometimes. But yeah, we'll go gelato or we'll pop over to like, just go over to the Ralph's, the grocery store and get just a little chocolate. Sweet treat. We like the. We like the chocolate bars. The dark chocolate bars, huh? Fun to share.

[B]

What brand?

[C]

Old school. Give me the lint.

[B]

Lint with a touch of sea salt is.

[C]

Give me the.

[B]

Me in the dick.

[C]

Give me the lint. I love a lint. There's newer ones that are healthier and

[B]

better and whatever the hue or whatever the brown cardboard ones.

[C]

Give me the lint, dude, I love

[A]

those things are like 40, dude. They're crazy.

[C]

Prices went up too, by the way. Lynn's not as cheap as it used to be. Now I think lint needs to compete with the other ones. So they go, well, we should be more expensive, because they are, because then people will think we're cheap, we're higher end.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Isn't that funny how it's like. It's the same thing.

[B]

I thought it was. I thought it was. That was imported from France. I. I had no idea.

[C]

From Nebraska. It's from Lincoln. Yeah, it is from. It's San Francisco, right? Yeah. I just thought, well, that's where Ghirardelli Chocolate is, right? That's where.

[B]

Yeah. Or maybe that's what I'm thinking of.

[C]

Yeah. Ghirardelli, I think. I think they're all one and the same. Everything's owned by one thing.

[A]

Talking about a sunglass people, right? There's a sunglass company on everybody.

[C]

Ray Ban owns chocolate now.

[B]

Ray Ban owns this podcast, actually.

[C]

They could. Dude, good shades.

[A]

What do you keep in the house as far as ice cream goes? You do anything like that, you're going, nothing.

[C]

We have to go. And that this is the reason why. Because I told my wife when we were getting pints of ice cream in the fridge, they're. They're in the freezer. They're ripped, they're gone.

[A]

Do the whole point at once, right?

[C]

Yeah. What are we talking? Okay, so. So it's impossible to not do that. So this way it makes us go get it. Which is good for the one.

[B]

Just buy the one.

[C]

Yeah, we just buy the cup of the cone. That way you eat it and you're done and there's no hesitation because you're like, fine, that's what I wanted. Instead of I'll do the thing where we'll sit down, watch a movie out, we'll. I'll have it out of the pint, put it away, go do something else, go to the office, come back down, I'll finish and then I'll finish it. And so if I regulate the size, there's no.

[A]

How many scoops you doing at the ice cream spot?

[C]

The call the. This is the best thing about new age ice cream. They give you more than you ask for, which I love.

[B]

It's heavy handed.

[C]

If you said two scoops, they're giving you three or four. It's kind of brilliant. So if I get the, if I get the cone. Doing a waffle cone they have. Dude, at this spot I'll show you. They have a chocolate and or pistachio dipped, dipped cone. And dude, I don't know if you like pistachio. The pistachio dip cone with a chocolate based ice cream. See ya. Yeah, it's the greatest thing in the world. So I get that. So it's not a waffle. It's a traditional cone that's dipped. I don't think they can dip the waffle when they don't.

[A]

When you were a kid, were you allowed to get the waffle cone? We were never allowed to go to waffle cone.

[B]

That was for adults.

[C]

When I was a kid it was Baskin Robbins all day. So it's just a. It was the old school sugar cone.

[A]

Ye. Oh, sugar cone. There you go.

[C]

But I think that's the best one.

[A]

Oh, for sure.

[C]

I think waffles a little much. Yeah, it's trying to do too much. The smell of a waffle cone at the place, the best. But the old school sugar cone, I think first of all it holds its integrity better. Waffles really frail. True breaks often.

[A]

What about you ever pretzel cone?

[B]

Pretzel cone.

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

That might have been a Philly thing. I don't know.

[C]

No, we don't. I don't think that's you guys saying, but I mean it sounds good. Great. I mean like a pretzel Bun on a sandwich is like. Like untouchable.

[A]

Yeah, when it's done right. It's not always done right, though. Usually pretty well, you go to a

[C]

good spot, dude, there's. I. I'll take you to some good spots. Good sandwich spots up.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Oh, my God. Dude, do you know. Have you heard of Giata Giata Giada sandwiches?

[A]

No.

[C]

I'll take you. It's so good. It's. It's right over the hill.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

It's so good. There's some good sandwich joints now. Uncle Paulie's is good. There's really good sandwiches here. But they'll do it, right? They'll do those. I know what you're saying. If you screw those things up.

[A]

Bad news.

[C]

I'll tell you guys. Dude, you foodie boys. I was at this. I was at this spot talking about waffles.

[B]

I had pizza this morning for breakfast.

[C]

I know. I saw it up there.

[A]

How do you feel about that? You saw that box?

[C]

I like it.

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[C]

It's a solid go, but I think

[A]

Joe's in New York will pay. That but shout out to you.

[C]

Same guy.

[A]

No, it's not.

[C]

That's Joe's of Bleecker Street. What are you talking about?

[B]

It is.

[C]

That's Joe's.

[A]

Oh, it is. Yeah.

[C]

The same guy. He brought it out here. Joe's. And they brought out Prince Streets out here now. But there's a lot of competitive pizza joints. Apollonias is real good. Have you ever had that? That's real good, dude. There's some really good pizza. We like to hang out at the

[B]

Brentwood Market a lot.

[C]

You guys know about that pizza? Bianco, Chris Bianco's brother, la's got it all. This big joke about us, you know when someone's like, we were looking up

[A]

at TGI Fridays last night, swear to God.

[B]

We got done our show, and we were like, what could we do?

[C]

There's one Chili's left in the valley. Oh, it's left in the West Valley. But I went to this. I was in Mexico and my buddy. My buddy was like, oh, you gotta go try this. They do a thing called a burger dia, where it's a burger and a quesadilla. Brother. Life changing.

[B]

How's this break down? What's that look like?

[C]

So the burger is mixed with, like a. You know how, like the taco seasoning that would go on ground beef for tacos, they put that in the burger patty while they're. They. While they're cooking it. So while they're rolling the burger. It's in taco seasoning. Press it. Then they put. Put toppings of choice inside. But typically it's grilled onions, cheese, and then sour cream and jalapenos pressed in a crispy buttery quesadilla. And dude.

[B]

Oh, it's in the quesadilla.

[C]

I have seen the burger dia. Dude, I never seen it either. And I was shocked. I was like, how have I never even thought of this? It's just another way to transform delivery system. Phenomenal.

[A]

I have a big theory about. I think it'd be more maybe east coast Mexican restaurants. If you go to a Mexican restaurant, they have a burger. Get it. Because it's probably bad wagon at a

[C]

burger joint out there. Don't do that here.

[A]

No, no. That Mexican joint.

[C]

No, I'm saying don't do that. Yeah, Mexican joint out here. Get the traditional.

[A]

Yeah, of course.

[C]

Whatever. They. Whenever I go to a Mexican restaurant here, if it's not a taco window. If it's not a window. If it's a sit down ask. You know, when you look at their menu, see their, their specialties that are like from the kitchen. Meaning like it's. It's been. They've been stewing it and cooking it for a couple days or like it. They'll tenderize beef for a couple days because you know, the biggest whack order I ever see is the fajitas. Is like the worst thing I've ever seen.

[A]

I'm a fajita guy.

[C]

You're wrong. It's insane. It's just dry chicken.

[A]

Drinking in a Mexican place. The Keel in a splash of Mountain Dew.

[C]

Yeah. If they have it.

[B]

Big chop from the big man up there.

[C]

You know why you like fajitas? Because you like the show. You like this.

[B]

I do, but it's dry meat.

[C]

It's always dry chicken. Dry beef. It's never cooked.

[B]

You're not wrong.

[A]

I could never get them when I was a kid. No one was arguing with that. You'll burn yourself. It's too expensive.

[C]

Still is. Worried about that with you when you go out? No, now, now, now. Like I get. My favorite is chili con Colorado. It's like a chili beef, a hot red sauce, spicy red sauce. It's tender. Tender meat. Veggies. Oh, dude, like, I want something that they've been making in the kitchen. The white people dishes are great, but give me the one that they like.

[A]

Yeah, that's the, the staff meal.

[C]

Yeah. Give them the one that they like. Because you and fajitas to Me are. You know, that's a. It's a white guy from the Midwest

[A]

meal I got you. I'm a big sour cream guy. It's really just a vehicle.

[C]

I know you're a sour cream guy. It's a. I know my wife likes sour cream with. She'll order the side of it to dip just the chips in which I've started. Do use sour cream as the base on the chip and then get in the salsa.

[A]

Yeah. You could also. You can also take that and mix that up together.

[C]

You can do. But I like the idea because you can get a. Not r. You can get a glob of sour cream on the chip and then go into the salsa and. And there won't be that much sour cream residue in the salsa if people don't like it. You're safe this way. A little bit of residue.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But it's a. That's become my new favorite dip.

[A]

Very nice.

[C]

Oh, I love it. Sour cream and salsa.

[B]

Hot.

[C]

Hot salt.

[B]

You like hot?

[C]

No, no.

[A]

Not too hot.

[C]

I know. I can tell.

[A]

I like a little something there.

[C]

But you like a baby kick. You go for mild.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like a mile. Like a sweet. I like a. I like a peach corn salsa.

[C]

That's not a salsa.

[A]

That's pineapple salsa.

[C]

That's. That's just corn with a friend.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That's not. That's not salsa.

[A]

Yeah. My. My tooth is a sweet tooth.

[C]

Which one?

[B]

The only two.

[C]

One of the two he's got left. One of the seven left.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

These are all the sweeties? Yeah.

[A]

Missing any teeth?

[C]

No. Well, no, but this is Chip. This is bonded. The front. When I cracked my tooth in New Orleans at a buddy's bachelor party.

[A]

Nice.

[C]

Yeah. And it fell. And I was high on mushrooms, and I. There's two different versions of this. I cracked it on the.

[B]

What?

[C]

I imagine I loosened it on that. We were at a crawfish boil. And people like. Crawfish. Shells aren't hard. Yeah. But there were other. In there, too. And I bit on a shell, cracked my tooth or chipped it, whatever. And stoned. I put a beer bottle to my face.

[B]

I scabbed my front, too. Bottles.

[C]

And so it's half gone. And. And I was on mushrooms. And. And that was a tough day because everybody was like, it's not that bad. But in your mind, it's like. It's so bad. Everyone's gonna look at me. Everyone's gonna see my cracked tooth. And I was freaking out. I kept touching it ever. And then we went to get po boy sandwiches.

[B]

And the.

[C]

And the dude working there, he was like, man, what's up with your mouth? Because I. I kept going like this. He was a Chinese guy. Chinese guy known for their pobo sandwiches. He goes, what's up with your mouth?

[B]

Mouth?

[C]

And I go, oh, sorry. I crap my tooth. And he was like, oh, yeah? How? And I was like, I was out of crawfish boil. And I was up and da, da, da. And he was like, oh, man, that's New Orleans. And I was like, all right. And I feel. I felt a lot better about it, as if he'd heard the story before.

[B]

Yeah. Like, you're the ninth guy.

[C]

Yeah. He's like, oh, that'll happen. You're like, all right. And I. So this is bonded. And then I've got chipped. I have a lot of chips in a lot of my teeth. These are all chipped. This is chipped.

[A]

I'm missing three.

[C]

Yeah, Three.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I do a re over on that.

[A]

Get that on Koshi.

[C]

I would have taken the. Okay. Live betting on your teeth.

[A]

I'm missing three over here. One over here.

[C]

From what, lacrosse balls?

[B]

That's what he tells people.

[A]

That's what I tell people. The three of them were bad. Root canals that went. Root canals that went bad.

[C]

I had one that was bad. And also, every time I go to a dentist, they ask me to get out my wisdom.

[A]

Mine are in there too.

[C]

I got them all. I got them all. And I refuse. Is it a health concern? They were like, no. I'm like, well, then what's.

[B]

They're trying to upsell you. I know you're sore.

[A]

Every once in a while when it creeps in a little bit, I get my. Mine wanted to be your creature.

[C]

They're not growing anymore. They're done. You're too. Oh, you're old. It's.

[A]

Oh, no, mine's still going in.

[C]

Really?

[A]

I swear to God.

[C]

You're a growing boy there. Yeah, well, wait till you hit your growth spur. It's coming. College basketball. Are you still eligible?

[A]

I have two years eligibility.

[C]

Let's get you back. This is the college sports. I want to see him going back to play two years. Where are those teams? That's more fun.

[A]

That's a last chance.

[B]

That was a good movie.

[C]

Last chance. You. Is that. Yeah.

[B]

That was a while ago.

[A]

I know. You're not the replacements.

[B]

No, he was the long. Scott Bayo.

[C]

Longest yard was kind of like that, right?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, Necessary roughness, right? Was that Scott Baio?

[C]

No, no, that's

[A]

God damn it.

[C]

What's that kid's name? I see him.

[A]

He was in the program. No, who was it? Do it. Luke

[B]

Scott back. Bakula back. Yeah, I was close.

[C]

Fuck, you were two different Scots.

[A]

Scott Bakula. His father is a newscaster in Philadelphia. That's the guy from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Right?

[B]

That's Dracula.

[A]

Scott Bakula. No, Scott Bakula from Quantum Leap.

[C]

His dad is a newscaster in Philly.

[A]

No, the kid. The kid from Buffy.

[B]

We entered what we just call Foleyville.

[C]

The kid that went down there.

[A]

The kid that was a vampire say that got his own show. His dad is a newscaster in Philadelphia. Scott Bakula is from.

[C]

He's old.

[B]

This is an old movie.

[A]

Is it?

[B]

Yeah, dude, it's from like 92, probably.

[A]

Okay, then it's probably Scott.

[B]

Dude, he's looking at the Internet. It's Scott.

[A]

He's cruising Quantum Leap. You ever see Quantum Leap?

[C]

Yeah, I like Quantum Leap.

[A]

Loved it.

[C]

Yeah, you really did.

[A]

Yeah. When they found out at the end it was God doing it the whole time.

[C]

What?

[A]

Gotta get on tubi.

[C]

Spoiler.

[A]

Dude, about the burger.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You're having a hamburger, okay. Take a bite of it. You put it back on the plate. Are you putting it upside down on the plate or are you putting it normal side down on the plate?

[B]

Like a backo Scott baculo.

[C]

Oh, a Scott Bakula burger.

[A]

How do you put the. How do you put the burger back?

[B]

I heard about that in Mexico.

[C]

Most of the time I. I imagine I put it down regular, the way it came.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

But I'm thinking about it now. Have I done it the other way?

[B]

If you have a brioche and it's a juicy burger, you don't want the bottom to get too.

[C]

Yeah, I do think maybe sometimes I do, but it depends on the accoutrement. Are the fries on my plate or are they separate in a basket? What do you prefer separate in a basket? Because.

[A]

Is that right?

[C]

I'll tell you why. Fries are for the table. And so I'd like to get two to two or three different kinds of fries, Right. If I get my own fries with the burger, she gets sometimes drenched in the burger juice, which is nice. But also fries are for the table. And I know they'll have garlic parm fries. They'll have like a regular. They'll have a. I like the different

[B]

various potatoes, sweet potatoes.

[C]

I get all the kinds of fries for the whole table.

[B]

Garlic palm fries are the trashiest fries.

[C]

Yeah, they're the trashiest, but I do like them yeah.

[A]

Trashiest fries are truffle oil fries.

[C]

Yeah, well, they over trough them. They put too much stuff. The. The king of all of the potatoes are. Is the tater tot. There's no doubt in my mind if they have tater tots. I'm totting over every kind of fry, gentlemen. You're like, and the only fry that can compete is a curly fry. But that has to be from Arby's, because nobody does it like Arby's. Arby's is the best curly fry that's ever been produced.

[B]

You're not wrong. This guy's good.

[C]

They need to do Arby's fries at other restaurants like Arby's needs to do. You know, they do like Taco Bell, kfc. They need to have Arby's fries at other locations. Yeah, just sell just the first.

[B]

License them. License them.

[C]

I. They. Why not? Because the flavoring that they put on those things and they're perfect long curls. They like the Jewish kids. The pay us.

[A]

Yeah, same thing made in Crown Heights, Brooklyn. That's right.

[C]

That's right, huh? Yeah. I have to. Have to. But the burger also. This is a better question for you two boys. Are you cutting the burger in half? Are you eating it as a whole? Because I'm gonna guess right now.

[A]

Go ahead.

[C]

Whole cutter.

[B]

I don't cut. I've gotten it. Sometimes they've come out.

[C]

Come cut.

[B]

I don't mind it.

[A]

We're cut.

[C]

You're cut.

[A]

I'm cut.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

No, I mean, yeah, you're cut.

[C]

I can tell. I'm looking at it right now. See her? See that helmet poking out? Looking at mine grew back.

[A]

Hello, sir.

[C]

Thank you for your service.

[A]

I enjoy, when I think of it, to cut.

[C]

I don't.

[B]

It's a little classier.

[C]

I don't like to cut.

[B]

I. I don't. I don't do it.

[C]

Here's why I don't like to cut. You're leaking all the juice. It doesn't make sense. Keep the juice contained. It's also why hot take. Controversial statement. I don't like Smash burgers.

[A]

I don't like them, dude.

[C]

What do you mean? You gave me burnt meat.

[B]

We're off. We're off to Smashies.

[C]

It was a stage.

[A]

It's gotten too big. It's too.

[C]

I was the guy that was like, I don't think I like this. Everyone's like, oh, they couldn't believe it because it's just a burnt burger.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I want the meat to be medium rare. I want. I want it red without red throughout. Juice, all that juice. So when you cut it, you're kind of screwing up the juice, dude. You're. You're letting it leak. Smash burger smashes. All the good out. I don't. I do not understand a classy guy over here. I just know I'm picky with burgers because I'm a big burger dog. I love burgers.

[A]

You and the Mrs. Out to dinner. Are we sharing everything?

[C]

You know, as you get older, yeah. You start to. You start to just order for both of you because it's nice. You get to try more.

[A]

I love it.

[C]

Back in the day, it was like, eat my own meal. But now I'm like, nah, we should, because I want to try that pasta, but I also want the chicken parm. And so let's split and share. Sometimes we're feeling real fun. If we, like, hike together that day or worked out together, we'll get a third dish.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Good for you.

[B]

You've earned it. Well, nice little girl.

[A]

I'm happy for you and your ice cream thing.

[C]

You got to tip well, take care of the people, and then they take care of you. And this is from the. This is from the kitchen. I love those.

[B]

Well, yeah, we had a. We had a bit of a. From the kitchen tipping fiasco this week.

[C]

What happened?

[A]

No. Oh, no, this is what. This has been discussed. We go out to a nice joint. All right.

[B]

Over there out here for Hollywood.

[A]

Beverly Hills. Beverly Hills. Meeting over there and meet with some people.

[C]

You don't want to name the joint,

[B]

the restaurant, or the agency.

[C]

The joint. But let me. The restaurant. But can you give me the first letter? E. Asha.

[B]

Asia. I mean, I don't mind saying it.

[A]

It's called Irvna.

[C]

Oh, yeah. You know these guys. Holy Urshna. Evra. You're naming all the agents you met with. Silverstein, Irv, Ava, Finderman's corned beef. So what happened?

[A]

We go over there. Nice place.

[B]

I would like to know how you. Let's say you and Bobby were out and this hap. I would love to see.

[A]

Waiter recognizes. It's not our waiter. Another waiter recognizes, comes over and says, hey, guys, save room for dessert.

[B]

Very classic.

[C]

That's cool.

[A]

Walked away. Save room for dessert. We have our meal check. You know, I say, here, put it on this. Which I tend to try to be Johnny big shot in those situations.

[B]

It's a shared credit card, 100%. But he wants his name credit, right? So he jumps at it. When he. When he can look cool, he takes

[C]

over and wait A minute timeout. This is in with the agents.

[A]

No.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Okay. When you said we got.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

This was after the meeting, right?

[A]

Yes. Which was a lunch meeting, but no kidding.

[C]

A bang bang.

[B]

We. We need. We needed to have our own lunch to debrief.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Check comes over. You know, it's the toast thing. The. The.

[C]

Yeah, Toast tab. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

18, 20, 25.

[C]

Sure.

[A]

I do custom.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Put a hundred on there. 100 on 125 was maybe 70 something. I do 100, thinking, that's good. He leaves. Then the dessert hits the table. Okay. We knew it was coming. But then there's a delicious. Some type of butter cake, toffee thing. Unbelievable.

[C]

Butter cake. So good.

[A]

Unbelievable.

[C]

Butter. Mastro's buttercake is the best butter cake in the world. I don't know if you ever had that master.

[A]

That's not real butter cake, though. There's butter cake in Philly that. That is. Has.

[C]

Whatever you say. I'm gonna eat it. I'm still gonna eat it. It's phenomenal.

[A]

Has a goo on top you'd like. Love it. Next time you're in food, I'll take it. I'll take it.

[B]

There's a little like. You would love it. Yeah.

[C]

That's so good, man. You're a great salesman. There's a goo on top. You're gonna love it.

[B]

You're gonna like the goo you got. I guarantee it.

[A]

I check with him. I gave him 100, and Kevin's like, that's awesome. Thinking the bill was.

[B]

I was thinking the bill was. I think the bill was 200.

[C]

Right.

[B]

I had chicken and a Diet Coke. I was chicken.

[A]

I was a little peckish that day. So I got a. I got a kefalateri. No, I got a Sakanaki with Kevalotieri cheese.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Greek joint. Greek joint. We got some dips with the body.

[C]

The dip.

[B]

The dips didn't get us there. You're really.

[C]

I don't think it was.

[B]

It wasn't the hummus or the tahini.

[A]

And then, like I said, I was hungry.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm not drinking. Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm down £75.

[C]

I'm not your therapist. It's like, I don't care.

[A]

He stems from my childhood.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So I said, you guys got any kumamo? It's an oyster. You know, Kumamoto, no expense.

[B]

Apparently, we. We looked it up as the most expensive oyster.

[A]

I got a dozen of them.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And then I had the scallops.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Turns out the bill was about $435

[C]

and they took stuff off.

[A]

No, dessert was free.

[C]

But wait a minute. How was the bill, the 20% so low on that bill? Because you said you looked at 20 and it was only seven.

[A]

70, 80 something, maybe.

[C]

Okay, sure.

[A]

I put a hundred down.

[C]

Sure.

[A]

He's like, that's not enough.

[C]

Who said that?

[A]

Kevin.

[B]

Well, good. No, I'm free dessert. I'm thinking the hundred on 200. I didn't realize it was 400 and something dollars.

[C]

Well, I didn't either because you threw me. You said that 20% would have been $70.

[B]

Wait, so maybe we got to the bottom of this. Maybe it was three something and with the 70.

[C]

That's right.

[B]

With your, with your hundred dollar tip it came to three something.

[A]

No, it was definitely 400 bill. Anyway, I, I, I tip too low, which I usually don't do. But I didn't know. I didn't.

[C]

But it was a 400 bill. That would have been 80 tip. And you gave him still 20 more than you should have.

[A]

Yeah, but we're big on the, you know, the recognized.

[B]

We're dirt bags and we don't have any. We're, we're uncouth.

[A]

30, 40, 50.

[C]

I would argue if it's just you two guys, a hundred dollars is a very solid.

[A]

He was here too.

[B]

Rich kid.

[C]

Oh, should have been 200 then.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You up?

[A]

So he had to go around and he greased the guy to that, you know, recognize, gave a dessert and grease the kid again.

[C]

Fine, that's great. That's.

[B]

But he wanted, he didn't have any cash. I go, I'll clean it. I'll clean up this mess with cash.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

Right. I'm an operator. I got cash.

[A]

I want him to give me the cash so I could do it.

[B]

He wanted me to give him.

[A]

What do you mean no cash?

[C]

You already screwed up.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

He's got to fix your problem. He's the fox. This guy's got to fix it. He's the new wolf. He's the fox. Fox has to fix it.

[A]

He'd been doing a lot of that.

[C]

Yeah. No, you know what? You, you, you, you, the tipping thing is. Yeah. Like we went out to a restaurant last week and I asked for a bourbon list.

[A]

You and the Mrs. Yeah. Okay.

[C]

And the guy said, Guy said we don't we have a bourbon list. But I can tell you some of this if you ask for something. So I asked for a kind and I think I saw, eh, Taylor. I said I'd love that. That'd be great. And Then the guy said, actor? Yeah, he was.

[B]

He lives around here.

[C]

He's a Scott Backulus. And I think he said, soul man too. Oh, we don't have that. But, but whatever, whatever. And then, and then I said, well, how about this? And then I said something else. And then he comes back and he's like, dude, I screwed up. We don't have that either. I said, okay, because the manager is going to come over. Manager comes over, he's like, hey, can I break you off a bottle of like a special collection? It's like a $480 bottle. And I was like, oh, dude, you don't have to. And he was like, no, no, it's on me. It's like, you know, we appreciate fan, but whatever, whatever. So he pours me a little sniffer of it, which is nice. And that's all I wanted, was one little whatever. Then they only charge us for like one dish, whatever. And so this is where you get in the weeds. So then, yeah, then I had to over tip. So then what I thought was, all right, so then I always have cash. So I said, well, what do I tip them? And her and I were going back and forth over what's appropriate because the total bill probably would have been if I paid for that glass of that and everything. Yeah, $300, something like that. So we were doing the. The math told. And I said, a hundred is nice, but 200 is a thank you also to the manager and the thing, right? Because he'll tell the manager, it is like, oh, he gave me more money because of the whiskey that you gave. And then everybody's happy. And he broke open his personal bottle. So two. Two was the way to go.

[B]

Very.

[C]

Now, do I want to do that?

[B]

No, no. I wanted to do 18.

[C]

Yeah, I. I want to give a standard nice tip. But that you have to go, well, sometimes when they give it to you, you got it, you don't have it, you. They've kind of force your hand.

[A]

Gentlemen.

[C]

It's amazing. They go all in.

[B]

Gentlemen.

[C]

You're.

[B]

You are a gentleman.

[C]

I try, but then there's restaurants that I, you know, that are run of the mill. And I just do the 20 and we move on. 25, whatever. I don't do 20. I'm almost always over. But like, you just give the 25 or 30, you move on your way, right? It's. Sometimes I'm like, it's just a little whatever joint I gotta go. Yeah, yeah. But if they recognize you, you gotta forget about it. You're done. You're you are cooked. They will go. You know, those are you garbage guys.

[B]

They are really.

[C]

30 bucks.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Had a situation like that a couple years ago. I'm in Hawaii with my. With my wife. I'm happy for all your happiness.

[C]

All right, Dude, Also, what do you

[B]

think of the boots?

[C]

Hate them.

[B]

Hate them.

[C]

And the way that. Well, also this. Doing this with your feet like a little boy. I didn't like either. You're touching you. He was going like this. His little feet together.

[B]

Dude, he sat down.

[A]

Side of my foot hurts because these.

[C]

You're not a cowboy boot guy. I'll say that.

[A]

These aren't cowboy boots.

[C]

Any boots. They're not cowboy boots to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're either cowboy boots or work boots. What's the difference?

[A]

Don't look good.

[C]

What are they called? What? What would those be called?

[A]

I got them at dsw.

[C]

Oh, DSW boots.

[B]

They're the house.

[C]

Let me see how high they go. Lift them up. Oh, right, right. Nike socks. Yeah, the Nike socks makes it nice.

[B]

I saw him staring at them.

[C]

Dude.

[B]

You sat down and he went.

[C]

I just. I don't. I can't. How about this? You look good. I. I can't wear them.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

I do.

[C]

I would never wear those.

[B]

I do. I. They have grown on me and the more worn they get, I think they look better. Well, they.

[C]

If you wear them, they look good. But. But new. A new boot is always a funny.

[A]

These are like two weeks old. Yeah.

[B]

He's really put them through the weeks we walked here.

[C]

What are you running through fields? What's going on? Those are so.

[A]

I'm working the ranch.

[B]

They do look better as they vade.

[C]

That's like six months of work. I like. I'm a sneaker guy. I don't really. I can't. I can't do boots, dress shoes if it's the occasion. But outside of that, I'm doing sneakers always.

[B]

How many dress shoes do you have?

[C]

I have one pair of wedding dress shoes. Nice.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What's a wedding dress shoe?

[C]

Like a really high end dress shoe just for weddings and special occasions.

[A]

Comic can. What do you got?

[C]

Ferragamo.

[A]

Ferragamo?

[C]

Yeah. You might not even know who that is.

[A]

I like his old.

[B]

They made sports cars.

[C]

He's an Italian composer. One pair of nice Ferragamo Savator. Ferragamo saboteur. Ferragamo. Just in case. Just for a nice wedding thing. But outside of that, dude, dress shoes. I don't. I mean, I probably have A couple of other dumpy ones laying around. But when do I have to. When do I wear dress shoes?

[A]

How many suits you got?

[B]

A Hollywood guy.

[A]

Hollywood guy.

[C]

Forge 4. That's not.

[B]

That's good.

[A]

You gotta tie a tie.

[C]

Gotto tie a tie. Yeah, brother.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I could do three. I can do a half Windsor. I could do. I can do a full Windsor. I can do a full one.

[B]

I do a Pratt myself.

[C]

No, see, I like. I. I think a half. Half is for.

[A]

Bless you.

[C]

Thank you. Half is for certain occasions. Full is for. For something a little bit more.

[A]

What would they be?

[C]

Full is like. If it's like wedding, graduation. Half is like. It's a business thing I gotta wear. They want me to wear a. It's jacket and tie thing.

[B]

So we're gonna.

[A]

Yeah, you do the top button on the suit and let the tie hang down a little bit.

[C]

No, no, no, you button that button.

[A]

Keep it. Button up.

[C]

Yeah, be a man. Button the button. That's insane. The top button. That's for hockey coaches. They're allow.

[A]

Oh my God, that's so true.

[B]

Great, dude.

[C]

It's the only guy that's allowed to do that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they do it too.

[C]

I'm sorry about the Flyers.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, Connie came over. We were watching. I was. I watched him.

[B]

I watched the first game with him.

[C]

Did not. I was bummed, dude. I was like, Jesus.

[A]

I don't pretend to be a hockey guy. I'm not a hockey guy. And when it comes to the Flyers, I treat that as sacred to the city of Philadelphia, where I would never hop on that bandwagon now that they're in the playoffs, because why not?

[C]

You're from that. You're allowed to be a Philly fan.

[B]

I know, but it's such a specific core group of fans in the city.

[A]

Philadelphia Flyers fan is a particular type of Philly.

[C]

But this is every city sports team.

[A]

I know, but I disagree.

[C]

If you're from the city, that's your fucking team.

[A]

I feel like that's. That's real. It is.

[B]

But he's just like. Out of respect.

[A]

Out of respect for the Flyers, out of respect for the people that are die hard fans, at least live and die by it. This is their time.

[C]

Okay. I'm a die hard Cubs fan. I love the Cubs. I watch percent. I watch 70% of their games probably.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

They're always on my TV. My cousin and I share season tickets.

[B]

I.

[C]

We have the app because of it. We. I always put a game on in the background if I'm Doing a lot of. If someone becomes a Cubs fan, if we make it to the playoffs, I don't care because it's a Chicago love thing, so it doesn't bother me.

[A]

I'm the same way.

[C]

And I'm never going to be like, who's pitching tonight? And they don't know. And I don't. I. I don't. I don't care.

[A]

I'm the same way with the Phillies has that.

[B]

But Philly's. Of baseball and football. The Flyers is such a subset in Philly. It's like.

[C]

Yeah, you mean. It's a different. A different kind of guy.

[B]

It's like. It's like a. It's like an independent band kind of. Yeah.

[C]

And you. You didn't listen to the album.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You can't.

[C]

You don't know their first album.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

I get that.

[A]

It's a little. They've been living and dying by. I mean, Flyers.

[C]

Well, we've had so much pain in Chicago. I don't think we give a. Who jumps on because we just want the. We just want the glory.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So we've just lived through so much. You know, the Bulls are. Are owned by a nightmare. And that's why the White Sox suck, too. And so they just can't get out of their ass. And we had our glory days. And then since then, we're fighting upstream constantly. So it's like, if we do get to a good place, everyone gets happy.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Everybody gets happy.

[B]

Philly's the same.

[A]

Let me ask you this. As what I think is becoming a classy guy. I think last time we. You were trash.

[C]

Even though it was a few years. Yeah. Could I be class now?

[A]

I don't know. You're creeping there.

[C]

I did park.

[B]

He did block the drive.

[A]

I respect that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because we're not moving. We're not coming out.

[C]

And that's your driveway.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

And I can't get a ticket on your driveway.

[A]

Very good.

[C]

Also this one.

[B]

So I don't own this place.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is.

[B]

Yeah. You say it's our driveway.

[A]

You're a Cubs fan.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Would you. How do you feel about wearing another baseball team's hat?

[C]

I feel like we talked about this, but I. I have a. I have a. Interesting approach about it.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

When I first started touring, I love. Loved going to baseball games by myself or with an. Well, I didn't. Couldn't bring an opener.

[A]

I got.

[C]

So if a local guy, I'd be like, hey, man, you a baseball fan? And nine times out of Ten comics are like, no. And so you're like, well, I'll go by myself. So I would go by myself to home to games, and I adored going to games by myself. I learned to, like, love it. And I would get a hat in every city. So I used to collect.

[B]

That's fun.

[C]

And I've been to. I don't know, I think I'm. I'm only missing, like, I don't even know, a hand. Literally a handful. And like, I've never been a new Yankee, but I don't know if that counts because I went to the old one. So I'm like, does that count if it's a new. I don't know. I don't know know. But I don't. I do it. I would just wear teams hats because I went to the stadium and I.

[A]

You wear a National League hat.

[C]

I'm a National League guy.

[A]

I know.

[C]

Oh, you're saying, will I wear an AL team?

[A]

No, as a National League, wear another one.

[C]

Well, I live in Los Angeles, so I wear LA hats sometimes because I live here. I live here, man, for 20 years. What am I gonna. I mean, I go to Dodger games a lot, so it's like, what am I supposed to do? Not wear the. It's weird. I'm a transplant, so. But do I root for the Dodgers in that regard? No, I like them. I'll go to games. It's fun to go to baseball games, but I can't go to my home team. But I'll wear, like. Yeah, I'll wear other National League teams. Yeah, it's all. It's actually dominant National League hats because I'm a National League fan, so I know those teams more. But, like, will I pop on and. Well, it's interesting. Like, I'll never wear an Angels hat.

[A]

I want to get an Angel's hat.

[C]

Yeah. I would never wear that. I also don't respect the team. I don't like anything about them. I think it's. I have to kind of like your team. And I'll wait. Wear your hat. I have a Phillies hat. I wear that sometimes. I get ragged on that. I bought my first Yankees hat not too long ago, which I was shocked that I did, but I just. I was like, it's also. I don't know, I like it also. I have to like your. I have to like your. Your city. I like. I like the city or also like the symbol of the.

[B]

The design team.

[C]

Right. Like, Baltimore Orioles is such a good hat.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Undeniably good hat. Some teams have great hats. Miami, stupid hat, shitty hat. Whack. That M. Sucks. Yeah, sucks. Some teams. Phillies, great hat. Yankees, undeniably one of the best hats.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It just. Whether you like them or not, Mets stinks. Dumb hat.

[A]

Really.

[C]

I think about Seinfeld, think about a Mets hat and I'm like, no, thanks. I don't like that. It's like Billy Crystal and Seinfeld. It's like the two guys that I'm like, I like that they're good guys. But like, I don't know. That's who wears like guys who wear suits with sneakers. I'm like, that's not.

[B]

Not the epitome of cool.

[C]

No, exactly. It's just not it for me. But like Billy crystal in the 80s.

[A]

But playing a cop, playing a detective with the. With a shitty Mets hat on. I love that.

[C]

I'm out. I'd rather have Fletch wearing a Fletch right out here wearing the la. Sure. I love that. You know what I mean? Wearing that Lakers jersey. I was like, that's cool. Yeah. Detroit I can wear love. Because I love that city.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I love Detroit. I couldn't. I don't own a brewer's hat only. And I love Milwaukee and I love that city. And I love. And I love going up.

[A]

Great hat.

[B]

Great hat. Brew crew.

[C]

But it's hard because there are.

[A]

Sure.

[C]

Our little cousins.

[A]

We can't.

[C]

You can't do that. The only hat I will never buy, never own, never wear, refuse. Garbage trash. St. Louis Cardinals. You stink because. What do you mean? There are arch nemesis.

[B]

And they have been forever coming out.

[C]

Huh?

[B]

That's the dirt bag 100.

[C]

I would never support these people.

[A]

One of the best jerseys, though.

[C]

Also, it made me learn to hate Joe Buck because he loves the Cardinals and I was. You know, every time I see him, I'm like, your dad was better. Your dad was better. I would love to. Dude. I'd love to say he's grown on me years. He hates the Cubs, so I. I can't stand him.

[A]

My philosophy is I can wear any hat from the American League because there's no emotional attachment.

[C]

Sure. But American League. I would say National League leads. Leads the. The MLB and cooler hats better.

[A]

I agree.

[C]

More fun.

[A]

I like a boss. I like a Red Sox hat.

[C]

Sure. I'll give it to them. Yeah. Red Sox and Yankees classes.

[A]

Orioles.

[C]

I feel like Yankees and Red Sox aren't even AL teams. They're just good baseball teams.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't want to give them the association of some of the other Al squads odds. But we have some trash. We have Pittsburgh.

[A]

Love a Pittsburgh hat, though.

[C]

I'm around, dude. I. Dude, every time I up the comments when I make fun of Pittsburgh, they get so mad at me. Like, in jest. I'll just be like, I'm not going there, dude. Come. Come to Philly. And people get mad.

[A]

It's also like, I love the Pirates, though. I don't know why. I love them.

[C]

Hate them. They're in our division. I can't stand also like Cincinnati Reds. Come on.

[A]

You know, like a Reds hat.

[C]

What?

[A]

What?

[C]

What? These are division dogs. I don't like these guys. You don't like anybody in your division.

[A]

That's not true. As a young man, I didn't. But now as I'm older, like, I mean, I fucking lived in Queen. I've been living in Queens for 15 years. I don't like the Mets, but I have love.

[B]

He loves the Mets and I like

[A]

going out there to the state.

[B]

The Mets game's all right.

[C]

Well, it's easier for you to go to.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

We've been in New York.

[A]

I don't hate them.

[B]

Aren't.

[C]

Didn't they have the lowest tickets? Didn't they have the lowest tickets in a while? The team, the Mets were trying to give them away.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

It's sad tale. God bless.

[B]

His face is lighting up.

[C]

Well, the Mets. The Mets to me for New York are the White Sox for Chicago. It's like I love to see him lose.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I have a lot of friends that are White Sox fans. So if you're not into baseball, you could have tuned out about 35 minutes ago.

[B]

And we're back.

[C]

Sorry.

[B]

No, I'll go.

[A]

That's my fault.

[B]

I have one. It's. It's probably has to do. It probably will tie back to baseball or sports that somehow. What. Growing up, who is the most famous person you met? Map like it. It could. And it also could have just been like a radio DJ first guy.

[C]

Oh, that's.

[B]

Or just anybody where you were like, holy. That was a big deal.

[C]

Well, I met man cow from Q101 who was a big radio DJ back. You remember, man?

[B]

I remember the name.

[C]

Yeah. He was very famous. I met him at a. From q. It was Q101. Man cow was at a.

[A]

He was all over the country, but

[C]

he was at a thing in Chicago. It was like a. A Halloween horror weekend party and they were DJing it or that, you know, Q101 hosted it. So we got to meet him there. That Was kind of like maybe my first. When I was a high schooler, I met. No, it's not true. This is not true. This is all a lie. My first famous person that I met was with my mom as a kid when I was living in the city, and we were going to, like, a burger joint, and my mom didn't even recognize her. And I apologize, I forget her name, but it's the mother from the Wonder Years. The mom from the Wonder. Oh, she was eating. Google her. I can't remember her name because I'm dumb. And she signed. She signed on a napkin at the restaurant for me, and I had it still. It's in my baby baby book. My mom still has it? No, but I said, mom, that's the mom from Wonder Years. And my mom was like, I don't think that is, babe. And I was like, I promise it is. It is. And I was kind of freaking out. My mom was like, I don't think that's her. And she was like, do you want to go say hi, though? And she goes, you can. I don't think it is, but. And I went up. I said, are you the mom from one of yours? And she was like, I am. And my mom was like, oh, what's her name?

[B]

Shout out. Allie Mills. Huh? Allie Mills.

[C]

Allie Mills. Beautiful blonde woman. Cool. And she signed a little napkin for me. That was the first person I ever met. I had been. It was just me and my mom at the time. My stepdad wasn't there, so maybe seven or something like that.

[B]

Wow, that's a great one.

[A]

First famous guy I've ever waited on when I moved to New York the first time. Yeah, probably. This is probably 1999. The dad from the wonder year.

[C]

Oh, that dude. What a dad. If you could. You couldn't pass it.

[B]

A father cartoon character.

[C]

He was a dad. He was like Archie Bunker without the racism. You know what I mean? Like, it was. He looked like a dad that everyone had. But I love that show. I. I adored Wonder Years, man. And then I ended up working with Fred Savage. He directed an episode of a thing I did.

[B]

Really?

[C]

It's kind of wild.

[B]

Yeah, that's weird.

[C]

Yeah. He tried to fist fight me.

[A]

I. Is that true?

[C]

No. I shouldn't make a clickbait thing.

[A]

I somehow had to set a balls to walk up to the dad from the one years ago and go, dad, what do you do at NORCOM all day? And he's like, yeah, that's right. That's right. I waited on him 10 years later in Philly.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was like, do you remember me?

[C]

And he's like, nah, of course not, dude.

[B]

That's insane.

[C]

Do you remember me? I was the guy with the boots and the Nike socks. Oh yeah. We made fun of you for weeks. No, yeah, that was my first famous.

[A]

That's great first.

[B]

That's a fantastic one.

[C]

Yeah, she was cool. I'm trying to think if there was another one when I was a kid that was really kind.

[B]

Mine was Mike Schmidt. Seriously huge. He had a hoagie place in my hometown. Oh, and he'd be in there, which

[C]

all the time like, what's going on, Mike?

[B]

Got a game today, Mike.

[C]

He's like, yeah, it's not till 4:30. Who care? You're relax, you're fine. Yeah, you got. They got, they got, they got a double header. He's like, look, in between the games, I got to go to the shop. Gotta go to the shop and open it up.

[B]

Every stock to walk in.

[A]

Did you have anybody like, like Schmidt that had like a hoagie shop in Chicago?

[B]

Car dealers.

[C]

Well, they all had car deal. I mean those guys all had stuff like that. They all had. I'm trying to think of what the most famous version of it was like. They all like, who. Who had the most famous, like. Well, Michael Jordan's restaurant was like a big to do.

[A]

I don't know if you remember that place, right?

[C]

It's still there, I think. I don't even know. It's got to be. Still long ago, Jordan shut down.

[B]

Mike Piazza has a bunch of Honda dealerships by us.

[C]

And my.

[B]

My family refuses to buy a car from a Met.

[C]

No one good people.

[B]

No one in my business. What are you nuts?

[C]

Well that's like Elway owns half of Denver. You know, Elway owned Elway D Car dealerships are like, that's the whole city of Denver is Elway. He owns all that shit for him. My grandmother's. This is a weird car dealership. My grandmother's brother was a very popular. Owned a car dealership. My grandmother's brother, Joe Madden Ford Mad people in Chicagoland might know it. And then he. Then they sold it years later to like Auto Nation or one of those things. But I remember like they no refused to not drive a Ford because her brother owned a car dealership. And it was a huge deal. If you didn't have a Ford, it was like, what are you out of your mind, Trader? You have to drive a Ford. We represent Ford. But those days of like loyalty to a brand gone.

[B]

No one will Ever have the cheapest, quickest?

[C]

Yeah, we don't have that thing anymore. Like, I don't. My dad is big on it. He's still old school, my dad. Dude, this is how, you know my dad and I's relationship over, like what I like versus what he likes. My dad drinks Pepsi. I like Coke. Do you know what I mean? It's like that's everything in our world. Yeah, I love McDonald's. When I was a kid, he liked Burger King. It was almost like he did it deliberately so we would fight about it. Like everything I liked. He wanted the other, he liked the other. If I liked a home jersey for the Cubs, he'd like the away colors.

[B]

Yeah, it's always got it out for you.

[C]

Yeah, well, he. We always were just such different. We always had like different tastes on everything. Music, everything. You know what I mean?

[A]

You can't jump in both worlds with the Coke and the Pepsi.

[C]

Coke was my entire childhood. McDonald's sold Coke.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That's all I knew.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Also, I.

[C]

You're not.

[B]

What are you.

[C]

Of course I'll drink. I'll drink anything. But Coke was my child. It was just my childhood.

[B]

It.

[C]

Like, by the way, when they had frozen Coke at 7:11, when they introduced frozen Coke, I was like, yeah, Slurpee, fine. But it used to be called Frozen Coke.

[B]

No, I don't know about that.

[C]

No. Pre Slurpee was Frozen Coke. Look it up. Look it up.

[A]

I'm 10 years older than you, brother. Trust me. I was in on frozen Coke. Before you knew what was going.

[C]

You would go to little places, had frozen Coke before Slurpees became.

[B]

You got Frozen Coke. Frozen Coke is a popular semi frozen, carbonated, slushy version of Coca Cola commonly found at McDonald's.

[C]

711 Speedway. See, frozen Coke was a thing. Slurpee. Slurpee was a branded name for frozen Coke.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Slurpee co opted Frozen Coke. Yeah. They're scam artists.

[A]

It was just Coke and cherry. That was the.

[C]

Say it again.

[A]

The original.

[B]

I didn't understand him either.

[C]

Yeah. Sometimes he says stuff and I'm like, I am with Bobby.

[A]

In what? The original two flavors were Coke and cherry Coke.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Not cherry Coke. Coke and cherry Slurpee.

[B]

Right.

[C]

How about. How about vanilla, though? When they introduced that, I don't know if I've ever had Vanilla Coke. Vanilla Coke, Vanilla Coke.

[A]

What are you about to say?

[C]

Oh, you liked it, didn't you? You did.

[A]

Gotta tell you why.

[C]

I thought that was blasphemy.

[A]

You're crazy.

[B]

Like drinking A Yankee Candle. Yeah. It stinks. It stinks.

[C]

Doesn't this belong in my aunt's bathroom?

[A]

Let me tell you something. One Labor Day, I couldn't afford to go anywhere.

[C]

Just one Labor Day. Yeah. How many Labor Days?

[A]

Dude, I was dating this. I was dating this beautiful woman who eventually left me very quickly because she realized I was a loser. Jesus, dude, this is years ago.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Cool. Now, bro, you broads out there.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

We went over to this free thing they were doing on the west side by the Intrepid Museum. You know the aircraft carrier?

[C]

I don't, but. Okay.

[A]

You don't know that. You know it was an aircraft carrier in New York City. They got an SR71, Blackbird, F14, F4.

[C]

Keep saying numbers. I'm not going to pay attention. So I have no idea.

[B]

I got an fat 50 year old right here.

[A]

It's a bunch of ships over there.

[C]

Got it.

[B]

All right.

[A]

A submarine.

[B]

He gets it.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Water.

[B]

Hey, Autistic Andy, let's go.

[C]

Water.

[A]

They were just dropping vanilla Coke and they were like sponsoring it. So all throughout the grounds were these huge bins.

[B]

There's a bug on you. No, I got it.

[A]

I don't know why you were hitting me.

[B]

I got it.

[A]

Don't say to another.

[B]

Just made this.

[C]

You don't have bugs on you often, do you?

[A]

I have a couple.

[B]

His nickname's the Bug man because one

[A]

time he text Bugman.

[C]

That's my lawyer. Bugman. Morty Bugman.

[A]

No, it's not.

[C]

No, come on, stop it. Cut it out, will you? Wait, what happened with Vanilla Coco Sponsor?

[B]

We're on like our ninth hour of podcast.

[C]

What time? What time is it?

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

4:45.

[A]

All right, hold on.

[C]

This is important, but this, honestly. Honestly, this is why I like doing shows with you guys.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

It's fun.

[A]

All right, you ready?

[C]

We could do this, honestly, for 30 hours. We should do where we do a full 24 hours.

[B]

Yeah, let's do it.

[C]

You should do an AYG with and just have guests coming.

[A]

Live stream. That's pretty good.

[C]

You really should.

[A]

It's Ruski and Kaiser. They make a lot of cash, those kids.

[C]

Sure they do.

[B]

Hey, back to your Snore Fest story.

[A]

So I'm dating this hot chick. She's looking a Polish version of Catherine.

[C]

She broke up with you?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Deliberately.

[C]

I know.

[A]

I went to her house one time and she had all my stuff. Stuff neatly folded in trash bags. I knew it was really over.

[C]

Eastern European.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah, they always are.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That's who folds. They fold. Yeah. All of your stuff is by door?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Don't come back in.

[A]

No. Yeah.

[B]

It was the last stuff. Any is do it.

[A]

You done?

[B]

We'll edit it.

[C]

We'll edit it.

[A]

I didn't have any money. We made sandwiches to bring there. That's how broke I was. It was the first time I ever had cucumber in a sandwich. Because you put cucumber in a turkey sandwich. And I've eaten it ever since. I always think about it every time I eat it.

[C]

Jesus gets sadder and sadder.

[B]

This is the most unhinged story.

[A]

Cucumbers in a sandwich.

[C]

I do. But you're making it sad.

[A]

All right.

[C]

So I think about her every time I eat it.

[A]

So we didn't have it. We didn't have. We didn't really have any money. But they had all these free screaming cold vanilla Cokes in bins of ice and water. How many they were screaming. It was 100 degrees. I had sunburn.

[B]

Must have myself about 13.

[A]

I must have had about 13 or 14 of them ever since then. I like. I like a vanilla.

[C]

So you still in still this day you'll have it.

[A]

Still to this day I'll have it. I used to have them a lot after benders, after everything calmed down. Well, I would get a vanilla Coke after a.

[C]

After a hangover. There is nothing better. I go get a McDonald's large Coke every single time.

[B]

The large fountain Coke.

[C]

It's the best Coke. Fountain Coke question real fast. You go to the movie theater. Both of you guys.

[A]

I got it now.

[C]

They got the new machine.

[A]

Yep.

[C]

You can get any combination under the sun.

[A]

Don't like it.

[C]

It's too much.

[A]

It's not the same cherry.

[C]

What do you get when you get.

[B]

I don't even like that. They come out of the same spout.

[C]

I don't like it either.

[B]

What are you doing?

[C]

It bothers me because you're mixing. You're mixing now I get a little bit.

[B]

I get a little cherry twang.

[C]

You know what's on going interesting. I think about this is meticulous OCD stuff. It's like when I go to an ice cream shop. What I enjoy about when they. They. They dip this. Dip the spoons to clean off the other residue from the past ice cream. Because what if I didn't want Put

[B]

it in the barbicide. Let's go.

[C]

That's put in the barbicide, dude. But that they use the same nozzle. I taste other. Other drinks in my nozzle.

[A]

Hate it.

[C]

Especially if it's a brightly colored. If someone had an orange drink before you, you're going to taste that in your drink. All right, so what do you. What are you pulling?

[A]

Traditionally, it's cherry. It's a cherry Coke. A lot of ice, large popcorn, something chocolate and something fruity.

[C]

How big of the popcorn do you get the biggest one? You just get the refill.

[A]

If they upsell me, I'll take it. But I can do a medium.

[B]

Depends if guys a good deal.

[C]

You know why I. You know why I like the bucket? Because it's stable. The bags are. It drives me nuts. The bags. And the bags, when you're handing it like it's. My wife is passing back. It spills every time. So I just get the bucket. I just like, can I. Sometimes I'll pay for the whatever and go, can I have the bucket? I'll pay just for the bucket itself. Then pour it in there.

[A]

They sometimes get weird about giving.

[C]

They always get weird about it. What do they care? You're 17. Just give me the bucket. Yeah, high school kid, give me the bucket. Yeah, and by the way, sometimes I'll, you know, I'll grease the kids. They deserve it. They get paid $5 a day. It's a. It's a miserable job. Why is it I don't get why those kids don't get paid more? That sucks. So give them a little. Give. Throw them a 20 and the changes they're after.

[A]

What do you hear? His movie theater thing.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[C]

So that's your. That's it. And what's, what's the chocolate?

[A]

The chocolate could be peanut M M's, or I'm sorry, peanut butter M M's. Could be Milk Duds, which I like. A milk.

[C]

That's why you got those teeth missing.

[A]

Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

And then that's, that's, that's the.

[A]

And then the fruity's either going to be Red Vines, it's going to be Sour Patch Kids, it's going to be Skittle, it's going to be something fruity. That's the dessert. Dessert. Chocolate is the medium. Dessert.

[C]

That's the dessert. Dessert is so fun. Fruity. Okay, what do you got?

[B]

I don't really go to the movie.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I would just get the popcorn and probably some candy, some gummy bears.

[A]

He's a pretzel nuggets guy too.

[B]

Growing up, I would do pretzel nuggets all time. But the cheese, what's yours?

[C]

I disagree with the pretzel Nuggets.

[B]

Oh, chaotic choice.

[C]

I just.

[B]

For sure I was a fat kid. I wanted. I wanted the most meal I could get. I wanted. I wanted to be full. You wanted to be full, and I was. Popcorn ain't gonna. There's not enough popcorn at AMC to do that.

[A]

Do you have mashed potatoes?

[C]

They do now.

[B]

I do the pizza.

[C]

Some of these places have full dinners now.

[B]

I don't like that.

[C]

No, I'm not into it either.

[A]

Not eating.

[C]

I'm a traditionalist. I want popcorn. Okay. I gotta get the big popcorn. And I go. I go. If they have it. Doc Pep. Because I love Dr. Pepper. Something about the movie theater is Dr. Pepper. I don't know what it is. I prefer Coke in the real world. It's something about Doc Pep I mentioned

[A]

to Mr. Pibs does that. Will you do a Mr. Pibs as well?

[C]

He's got to get his doctorate before I can.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Yeah. That's got to be a comics joke for sure. Mr. Pip doesn't even go get his PhD.

[A]

I love a Dr. Pepper.

[C]

No, I like a Dr. Pepper. I think it's superior. 20. What are the flavors? I mean, we'll never know if it was cherry. I know that.

[B]

Yeah. Hold on. Let's take Coke real quick. Straight up, regular Coke.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Rank. Can, bottle, fountain.

[C]

There's no doubt about this. It's Mexican Coke in a bottle from here. Mexican coconut bottle is the greatest version of Coke. Then it goes fountain, then it goes canned. Cans look dead last.

[B]

What about plastic bottles?

[C]

Bottle I will not consume.

[A]

No.

[C]

What am I doing? First of all, the plastic bottle gets so warm.

[B]

So that doesn't hold a cold.

[C]

You have to put it in a glass with ice. Defeats the entire purpose of having something on the go. So you buy those at the gas station. The moment you're back in your car hitting that third mile of wherever you're going.

[B]

Yeah, it's warm.

[C]

It's. So if you were gonna get ice from the fountain place at the gas station, Just get the fountain. Coke. Anyway. Plastic bottle. Coke is not even. I can't even believe people like them. The only way that I did them is at family parties. Grandma has a 2 liter, but that's going in a glass with ice.

[A]

Can I give you a heads up? Then we'll let you go.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You want a plastic bottle to be screaming cold, you bring it home.

[C]

I don't want. I don't want it to be cold. I don't want to consume it.

[A]

Just bring it home if you're bored one day.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You take a couple swigs out of it so there's some air in it. Put it in the fridge. It's going to be colder than a full bottle.

[C]

Dude, I love that you're a scientist.

[B]

He thinks he's Bill Nye with this dude.

[A]

It's going to be colder. A half. A half a Gatorade in the refrigerator is colder than a full gallon Gatorade refrigerator. I swear to God it's true. I swear to God.

[C]

I believe that to be true. Because the air that's in there, right. That's just. That's probably easy math.

[A]

But what it is.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. The air can get cold.

[C]

The air makes it colder. But I will say this magic. Yeah. No.

[B]

Well he could some sort of scientific.

[C]

But I do, I do think it's the weakest. The bottle, the plastic are the weakest of. Of all of the Cokes. But the glass bottle, Mexican Coke. Real cane sugar from Mexico which they're trying to implement in all Coke now they're trying to fight to make it a real thing. It won't because that corn syrup is going to keep us forever.

[B]

That's a big money.

[C]

It's a lot of cage. There's a lot of corn out there. Shout out to Iowa. There's just too much for them to stop doing that. But yeah, number one Mexican Coke then fountain and then can. I'll take a can. If I'm at like if my buddy's son's baseball game, I'll. They have a can in the cooler. I'll do it. I don't want it but I'll do it. But I switch now I'm more Coke Zero than Diet Coke. When I do drink an alternative.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Coke Zero tastes much more. You go to Europe, they don't even know you asked for Diet Coke. They're like what?

[B]

Coca Cola?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That doesn't exist. Exist.

[A]

True gentleman Andrew really is.

[B]

You know, you're really.

[C]

You're really trying to be.

[A]

We're turning it around.

[B]

Flip flopping. I like it.

[C]

I love coming on the show with you guys. I appreciate every week.

[A]

We love you so much.

[C]

Love you.

[A]

Anything got coming up you want to hit him?

[C]

I will tease you a little bit. Bobby and I shot 10 episodes of a game show called the Bad Game.

[B]

I heard about it. It's all.

[C]

It's called the Bad Game Show. It's going to come out on our channel.

[A]

I love it.

[C]

The business wasn't interested in it and we just funded it ourself and made it with with atc. That's how we're doing and had a good time and then we shot 10 episodes and we're I think it's gonna start in June we shot all 10 are in the can we're in the edit bay but bad game show watch bad friends watch whiskey ginger my other pod and outside of that that's all I'm doing I'm doing a couple of dates I'm not touring right now but go to anderson.com we're doing like I think I'm doing a St. Charles, Missouri and I'm doing San Diego I'm doing a couple of shows down there for fun but I won't tour till next year later.

[A]

Love it.

[C]

Take it easy we love you buddy. Tickety love you guys.

[A]

Thank you gang. We love you Kippy. You got anything warm?

[B]

All of our tickets are on [e-mail] get them while they last.

[A]

Love you gang See you next week. Peace.