"Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast" – Episode: "ARI SHAFFIR Retires!" Summary
Release Date: July 21, 2025
In this special and emotionally charged episode of "Are You Garbage?" hosts Kevin Ryan and Aiden Stage Foley celebrate and bid farewell to the esteemed comedian Ari Shaffir as he announces his retirement from the show. The episode masterfully blends humor with heartfelt moments, encapsulating the essence of the enduring friendships within the comedy community.
1. Introduction and Announcement (00:00 – 02:30)
The episode opens with Kevin Ryan raising a toast, setting a celebratory tone for what’s to come. Aiden Stage Foley enthusiastically introduces the show, highlighting its unique premise of evaluating comedians' "garbage" status. The anticipation builds as the hosts welcome Ari Shaffir, who swiftly confirms his retirement.
Notable Quotes:
- Aiden Stage Foley (00:14): "Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash."
- Ari Shaffir (01:58): "Yeah, retiring."
2. Ari’s Retirement and Future Plans (02:30 – 06:00)
Ari shares his plans to embark on a sabbatical, expressing his desire to travel the world and explore new horizons. The hosts playfully speculate about his destinations, including humorous mentions of London and Damascus, and joke about the possibility of him opening a Syrian comedy club.
Notable Quotes:
- Ari Shaffir (02:53): "Yeah. Then I go to London."
- Aiden Stage Foley (03:13): "You’re gonna be traveling around. You’re gonna do your thing and you’re coming back."
3. Farewell Gifts and Humorous Exchanges (06:00 – 12:30)
As part of the farewell, Kevin and Aiden present Ari with a Citizen watch. The exchange is filled with comedic banter about the watch’s engraving and price, showcasing the hosts' knack for turning even heartfelt moments into laughter-filled interactions.
Notable Quotes:
- Kevin Ryan (09:00): "At this point, you're currently somewhere in the world."
- Aiden Stage Foley (09:02): "They had one in Union Square. Yeah, it was out right now. They had one in Union Square."
4. Heartfelt Messages and Tributes (12:30 – 16:00)
Mario Cantone joins the conversation to deliver a heartfelt message to Ari, offering words of encouragement and support despite the comedic undertones. This segment underscores the genuine bonds shared among the comedians.
Notable Quotes:
- Mario Cantone (12:40): "Listen, Ari, it's Mario Cantone. I know that you were laid off, but this happens. First of all. Secondly, you're gonna be fine because everyone goes through this rough time."
5. Final Goodbyes and Emotional Toasts (16:00 – 25:00)
The hosts and Ari engage in a series of final goodbyes, culminating in a heartfelt toast about friendship. Kevin delivers a self-written toast that blends sincerity with humor, reflecting on the meaningful connections forged through the podcast.
Notable Quotes:
- Kevin Ryan (33:00): "There are good ships. Let me take this from the top. There are good chips. There are wood ships. There's ships that sail at sea. But the best ships are friendships. And may they always be."
6. Closing Remarks and Farewell (25:00 – 32:00)
As the episode draws to a close, Ari expresses his gratitude and affection for the hosts, while Kevin and Aiden assure him that his legacy will continue. The final moments are a blend of laughter, shared memories, and genuine sentiment, leaving listeners both amused and touched.
Notable Quotes:
- Ari Shaffir (31:05): "Sorry you got fired."
- Kevin Ryan (32:56): "I wrote it myself."
Conclusion
This episode of "Are You Garbage?" stands out as a poignant yet comedic farewell to Ari Shaffir. Through a seamless blend of humor, heartfelt tributes, and genuine camaraderie, Kevin Ryan and Aiden Stage Foley honor Ari's contributions to the show and the broader comedy landscape. Listeners are left with a warm sense of closure, celebrating the end of an era while cherishing the memories created over Ari's multiple appearances.
Final Notable Quote:
- Aiden Stage Foley (62:08): "Peace."
This detailed summary captures the key moments, discussions, and emotional beats of the episode, woven together with notable quotes and timestamps to provide a comprehensive overview for those who haven't yet listened.