Bad Breakfast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Summary

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Episode Summary: "Bad Breakfast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley"
Release Date: May 8, 2025

Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

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1. Kevin’s Breakfast Mishaps

The episode kicks off with Kevin Ryan sharing his recent culinary adventures, specifically his attempt to prepare a hearty breakfast using ground beef. He humorously recounts the challenges of managing excess grease and experimenting with unconventional ingredients like taco seasoning in his morning scramble.

• Kevin Ryan [03:30]: "Maybe about three days ago I made some ground beef hamburger meat... It just felt not. I don't know, something."
• H. Foley [04:02]: "Take a fucking spoon and you pull it out now. Or you leave it in there like a gentleman."

Kevin details how adding taco seasoning to his breakfast led to an unusual amalgamation of dinner flavors in the morning, resulting in a less-than-appetizing experience.

2. Listener Questions: Are You Garbage?

The hosts address listener submissions that question whether certain behaviors qualify as "garbage." One notable question from Marco Rodriguez asks:

• Marco Rodriguez [09:21]: "Is it garbage to let your phone die intentionally while on a date so you don't have to pay for the Uber back home?"

Kevin and H. Foley delve into the ethics and practicality of such actions, blending humor with relatable anecdotes about financial struggles and relationship dynamics.

• H. Foley [10:04]: "You're a dirtbag maneuver in your day financially, with apps and switching from PayPal to whatever."
• Kevin Ryan [10:19]: "I remember standing on 3rd Ave... and my wife was like, 'I saw your account earlier, man.'"

3. Advertisements and Promotions

Interspersed throughout the episode are humorous yet informative promotional segments for various sponsors:

• Pesti: DIY pest control kits.

  • Kevin Ryan [17:12]: "It's like pressing a pump and spraying it around your house. Done. Bada bing."

• Lucy Goods: Nicotine pouches with added flavor capsules.

  • H. Foley [18:15]: "Lucy breakers are nicotine pouches with an extra surprise inside."

• Harry's: Affordable, high-quality razors.

  • Kevin Ryan [39:07]: "Five blade razor, weighted handle... for just six bucks, which is insane."

• LifeLock: Identity theft protection.

  • C [40:24]: "LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points every second for threats to your identity."

4. Personal Stories and Anecdotes

The hosts engage in a series of personal stories, often highlighting awkward family moments and humorous takes on everyday situations:

• Deviled Eggs Disaster:

  • Kevin Ryan [19:52]: "My dad made deviled eggs in our hotel room... That's my cock. Sorry about that."

• Family Traditions and Divorce:

  • Kevin Ryan [27:38]: "The impetus of my parents getting divorced was Disney. It was the morning of... I did something to see that."

• Awkward Parent Photos:

  • H. Foley [49:52]: "There's one of my old man that was in the cabinet above our refrigerator... he had his pants down and his ass was sticking out."

These anecdotes serve to illustrate the "garbage" moments where families and individuals reveal their less classy sides.

5. Concluding Remarks

As the episode wraps up, Kevin and H. Foley reflect on the humorous yet candid discussions about breakfast mishaps, questionable behaviors, and family stories. They encourage listeners to engage with their platform, promoting their upcoming tours and card games.

• H. Foley [64:36]: "Are you Garbage card game? Grab some tickets for the shows. Gonna sell out."

The hosts end on a light-hearted note, maintaining the show's signature blend of humor and relatability.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Kevin Ryan [03:30]: “Maybe about three days ago I made some ground beef hamburger meat... It just felt not. I don’t know, something.”
• H. Foley [09:21]: “Is it garbage to let your phone die intentionally while on a date so you don’t have to pay for the Uber back home?”
• Kevin Ryan [17:12]: “It’s like pressing a pump and spraying it around your house. Done. Bada bing.”
• H. Foley [18:15]: “Lucy breakers are nicotine pouches with an extra surprise inside.”
• Kevin Ryan [39:07]: “Five blade razor, weighted handle... for just six bucks, which is insane.”
• Kevin Ryan [27:38]: “The impetus of my parents getting divorced was Disney. It was the morning of... I did something to see that.”
• H. Foley [49:52]: “There's one of my old man that was in the cabinet above our refrigerator... he had his pants down and his ass was sticking out.”

---

This episode of "Are You Garbage?" continues to deliver its trademark blend of raw humor and candid conversations, making it a must-listen for fans who appreciate unapologetic comedy and relatable life stories.

Transcript

[H. Foley]

Gang. Tickets for the Back on the Block tour are going quick, baby, so get them. What a Gettin is good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. We're coming to San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Burlington, Boston, Atlanta, Charlotte, Raleigh, Richmond, Baltimore, Philly, Rochester and Toronto. All tickets [e-mail] We'll See yous on the road.

[H. Foley]

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RU Garbage.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey Yee.

[H. Foley]

It's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that after Europe to be classy. Yeah, just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host, H. Foley. Coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in a new edition. She has some nice little league equipment available for sale right now.

[Kevin Ryan]

Getting that time of the year too. Woo wee.

[H. Foley]

Get in while the getting's good. Mike Hoes is coming at you from across the table. He's what we call the CEO of Are you garbage? He is an international businessman. Let me tell you this. He's got the boys on Wall street nervous and the fat cats on Main street singing his praises. Give it up for kj, Kevin, James Ryan, everybody.

[Kevin Ryan]

What up, gang? Shout out to you. First of all, as always, please make sure you rate view subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also full video available over there on Spotify. And then also the greatest of all time, www.patreon.com garbage. You go over there, you get up to, I mean, you sign up today, you get, I don't know, the past four years of bonus content. We're talking like, what is that? It's like 400 episodes you get for five. For 10 bucks you get 400 episodes. That ain't too shabby. Also, what do you got? Back on the block? Tour tickets obviously are on sale right now. You go over there, we got San Fran, Portland, Seattle, Burlington, Vermont, Boston, Massachusetts, Atlanta, Georgia, Charlotte, North Carolina, Raleigh, North Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania at the motherfucking Met, baby.

[H. Foley]

Let's go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Biggest show we've ever done. And then Rochester, New York and Toronto, Canada. Get those tickies.

[H. Foley]

Boys are coming out hard in the fourth quarter of the year, aren't we?

[Kevin Ryan]

Holy shit.

[H. Foley]

Right before bonus time.

[Kevin Ryan]

I gotta pay for this baby somehow. You dying, man. These things ain't freaking cheap, I'll tell you that.

[H. Foley]

This kid better have a good Right hand on them. I'll tell you that right now.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know.

[H. Foley]

Public school down the line.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know how everybody's. I don't know how people did this. It's fucking. Everything's a grand. You turn around, it's a grand. You need a chair, it's a grand. A chair. Oh, we need a chair for the baby. Baby can't even hold his head up.

[H. Foley]

He needs a fucking recliner like a broad in Vegas. Every time the kid goes to the bathroom, he wants to play the tables a little bit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Feel like a fucking ATM machine.

[H. Foley]

Gang. This is what we call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos and the homies. Just the way we like it. We can't thank you enough for tuning in, Kippy. How the hell are you, kid?

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm doing pretty good.

[H. Foley]

Are you? You don't seem it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

You seemed a little tense today when I came in.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, not at all.

[H. Foley]

With your old pal Uncle Hank.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh.

[H. Foley]

Bright eyed and bushy tailed. Because I love you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. I don't know. You're setting me up for something. You're setting me up. I've seen the program before. You set me up for some.

[H. Foley]

I need a small payday load. To be quite honest with you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Start off, you start calling me an psychological warfare. They beat you down.

[H. Foley]

I feel like you need me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Then you're vulnerable.

[H. Foley]

That's right.

[Kevin Ryan]

List. I had a little bit of a.

[H. Foley]

So tell me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Maybe about three days ago I made some ground beef hamburger meat. This isn't trashy. It just felt not. I don't know, something.

[H. Foley]

And currently put the paper towel in there to soak up the grease.

[Kevin Ryan]

Obviously you did.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. That is such a dirtball move.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, you sit there and let it boil off. I'm hungry, I'm growing.

[H. Foley]

Take a fucking spoon and you pull it out now. Or you leave it in there like a gentleman. Whoever said that that was bad, by the way.

[Kevin Ryan]

It just gets too oily. It does. Everybody listen. It does. Everybody knows this.

[H. Foley]

You heat it off, you burn it off.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know. Well, that takes 40 minutes sometimes. I don't know if you've seen any of this hamburger meat again. It's just producing his grease. It don't stop. Dude.

[H. Foley]

Say there's like 8 million cows and one thing. One hamburger.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's a big burger. Like I'm juicy, talking quarter pound. So listen, I make some hamburger meat. I'm eating lean now.

[H. Foley]

What are you doing with this?

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean?

[H. Foley]

What are you making?

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm making a Bowl that my wife found.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

A little bit of. Ah, man. What was it? There's some peas in there.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

There was some sweet potato.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Peas, sweet potato. Something else I'm missing here.

[H. Foley]

Onions?

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[H. Foley]

Ketchup. Cheddar cheese.

[Kevin Ryan]

I did buy cheese, but I didn't put it in there.

[H. Foley]

Leaks.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now I forget something else.

[H. Foley]

You know what a leak is?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh. I got one at the house. Fucking drywall's fucked. Yeah. I used to work produce. I didn't. I used to work as cashier. I didn't know all the produce.

[H. Foley]

They didn't. I had to sell leaks and act I had three years ago. What are you talking about?

[Kevin Ryan]

How to take a test. Which I've said this before. That was the most nerve wracking week of my life. Some fat. Some fat ass fucking guy tested me on. On vegetables. It's like, hey buddy, why don't you put the cheez its down and try a leak.

[H. Foley]

You're over at Sylvan Learning center for two weeks trying to get ready for this.

[Kevin Ryan]

So whatever. So now I got. It was this morning. We had to be in here bright and early.

[H. Foley]

Hamburger for breakfast.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, hold on. I put some. So I. Oh, when I did, I did some taco seasoning in there.

[H. Foley]

I like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right? So then for breakfast I made three scrambies. And I'm looking really? And I threw the taco meat in there. Listen, which list? Hold on. Obviously, whatever. It didn't feel right. Dude, the second I opened up the container and I didn't do a thing, I just opened it up and dumped. And half of me forgot it was taco season. And I got a whiff of that and I was like, I feel. This feels like I'm at dinner right now. This saying, right? It's too early. And this is like. Dude, this is like 7:15. This is 7:15 in the morning. I'm eating taco meat. It was bad.

[H. Foley]

Oh, breakfast chili.

[Kevin Ryan]

It didn't feel right. Have you ever done. Obviously it's left or whatever?

[H. Foley]

No, but I like it. I'll be honest with you. I like it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm burping up like I just had a gordita. It ain't good, dude. It's bad news. Starting your day Kippy Crunch supreme. There's too much sodium in there.

[H. Foley]

Something something.

[Kevin Ryan]

The tacos, I don't get it. Because it's like, you know, it's meat, it's protein.

[H. Foley]

Why isn't there a ground beef omelet? You know, why isn't there a burger omelette I've had that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

I think I might have made it. I'm big with. If I got leftover ground beef.

[H. Foley]

That's pretty good.

[Kevin Ryan]

I throw that right. You put the eggs. You let the eggs cook a little bit. Or maybe I'll even put the meat on, then crack the eggs in there so it's not really like egg. It's like egg pieces in the meat.

[H. Foley]

No, I don't sprinkle a little cheese in there. Did you top that off?

[Kevin Ryan]

Quarter. Quarter cup of Sargento. It's 110 calories, 7 grams of protein. I'm losing weight.

[H. Foley]

Did you start that off? Did you finish that off with a little bit of lettuce, tomato, and some sour cream or something like that?

[Kevin Ryan]

Lettuce and tomato at breakfast?

[H. Foley]

Taco omelette?

[Kevin Ryan]

Omelet. No, but it just didn't feel right. And my wife was in the. She was, like, on a call when I was doing this, and she smells that cooking, and she hung up the call. She's like, are you making tacos? And I was like, shut up.

[H. Foley]

Did you open up a gyro stand.

[Kevin Ryan]

Before I deport you? Zip it.

[H. Foley]

Holy. Yeah, I didn't.

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't feel. It didn't feel right. Weigh in, let me know. But it's like, it's. It just something about that taco season just.

[H. Foley]

Did it have the. The. The orange grease on it, too?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it didn't, because I had dried out the grease.

[H. Foley]

Wow. There you go. I've had that grease in there before.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think I did 8515 too.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. When I was a kid, I remember seeing that for the first time. My. My Aunt Mary's beef stew, I believe it was. And the next day. Or maybe it was her spaghetti, but when she would take that out of the fridge, it would have that layer of grease on it, and she would skim it off and toss it. Where are you going with that grease?

[Kevin Ryan]

Make. Make good with that. Lord Toots.

[H. Foley]

All right, let's quit screwing around. Yeah, gang. As you know, when you sign up for the old Patreon, get your question read on the air by the taco King himself, Kevin Ryan. Breakfast tacos.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why do you do breakfast burritos?

[H. Foley]

They do.

[Kevin Ryan]

But that's bacon and sausage usually typically a breakfast meat.

[H. Foley]

Listen, I'm not pushing back on this by any stretch of the imagination. I'm not even saying it's trash, but that's delicious. I think we should be putting ground beef and more stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

I agree. But the tac, it's just like, I got to tell you, I'm off today. I got to go home, shower, lay back down, get up and start the day again. It don't feel right. Have taco. I kissed my. Kiss my wife with taco bread this morning. I went off to work, grabbed my lunch pail, and came off to the content factory.

[H. Foley]

More ground beef.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, gang. As the big man said, we got some Patreon cues. When you join a Patreon, we'll answer your garbage question all the year. This is from Marco Rodriguez. $10. Homie Nhor. Never had one. Read.

[H. Foley]

Love it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is it garbage to let your phone die intentionally? Like where this is going while on a date so you don't have to pay for the Uber back home? I'm waiting on that direct deposit to hit. Then the broad jam me up with the appetizers.

[H. Foley]

Jesus.

[Kevin Ryan]

I gotta say, I've done some dirtbag maneuvers in my day financially, with apps and switching from PayPal to whatever the instant transfer overdraft. That's genius.

[H. Foley]

Does that mean he's closing the deal automatically? They're going to the same place. Hey, you want to get the Uber back to my place? What if she's like, hey, I gotta get up early? Then you're sitting at a bus stop as she drives.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, then he can take the bus home. I mean, if you're by yourself and you're poor, you're broke, you're like, hey, I'm taking the subway. It is what it is.

[H. Foley]

Your Fridays to go bag with you.

[Kevin Ryan]

I guess. But in this thing, you go. You would. I guess. Well, the Uber, I guess. So he paid for dinner. Maybe.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Hey, my phone died.

[Kevin Ryan]

He probably had a hundred bucks, 150 bucks. Sure. Because I can't. I'm not. I can't swing the twenty dollar. That's brilliant.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that's pretty smart, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Because what I would have to do back when I was.

[H. Foley]

I have a phone charger on me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Fuck. Is that an iPhone 4? I need the old iPhone 4.

[H. Foley]

I think we should see other people.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember many a times entering my wife's credit card into my Uber account. Oh, I remember standing on 3rd Ave. Or no, 2nd Ave. It was like 2nd and 2nd. And I was so broke. And she's like, all right, let's get an Uber home. And I was. I was still in the wooing phase at this point.

[H. Foley]

I think I started crying city.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think I started crying.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

I was just so. Yeah, I was just down bad.

[H. Foley]

Started crying.

[Kevin Ryan]

Maybe not crying. Frustrated.

[H. Foley]

Still. The nerves to go home and try to make love to her.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think it was her birthday too. I stink. I'm bad with my.

[H. Foley]

You're trying to pitch a threesome just so you get the cab fare home with the cabby.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, buddy, what do you say? Knock evidence off, come up to my place?

[H. Foley]

What do you think it is broader. Huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I. That I respect. That's a good one. I guess I didn't really. The times when I. When I was really broke, the Apple pay and all the apps weren't necessarily. Now you can go, my phone's dead. Somebody get me.

[H. Foley]

Mm.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know, which were. I'll Venmo you this week. You know, I'll do that later.

[H. Foley]

Have you ever forgotten your wallet?

[Kevin Ryan]

Now the only person I would really ever had to do that with was her. She knew I was broke. You know, she. I told you I was. She was buying. We were buying. I was buying her something at a deli one time, like lunch, and I checked my TD bank account. She clocked me checking it and had like 18 bucks in it. And I picked up that check was probably like 12. So now I'm down to 6 bucks. I'm down to like, I'm in double digit. I mean, I'm under. I'm under 50 bucks an expensive chopped cheese waiting on that direct deposit. And then we went out to dinner some. I'm like, ah, let me get this. And she's like, I saw your account earlier, man.

[H. Foley]

Kind of man. Are you still Went home and tried to make love to her too, I bet. Didn't you?

[Kevin Ryan]

Probably. I mean, I am a. I am a red blooded man. At the end of the day, hippie here, he's a man. That's a good one. I respect that. I love the. I love hearing the new. The new age tech dirtbag scam what.

[H. Foley]

The kids are doing out there.

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't have that.

[H. Foley]

These broads got cash on them.

[Kevin Ryan]

They do.

[H. Foley]

They got money.

[Kevin Ryan]

They do. These broads.

[H. Foley]

It's always hard working.

[Kevin Ryan]

Guys pay for everything. Buy $1,000 chairs.

[H. Foley]

It was the same in high school too, when a girl would tell you, oh my God, I definitely failed that test. They never failed it. They got like an A. You know what I mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

I picture your dumbass. I failed too. Cindy, you got a helmet on at football practice. Ah, man, that's good. All right, let's see here. This is from Foley's Ozempy plug. First time, long time. Never have one Red. Got a banger here, boys. Have you guys ever been to a dry wedding? Reception on a Friday night. We were recently talking about. About dry receptions.

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

This. Breakfast for dinner, catering from Cracker Barrel. Over a hundred bozos in attendance. I cheers the red Solo cup of OJ after the best man speech with a mouthful of scrambies.

[H. Foley]

What?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's.

[H. Foley]

Wait, hold on. Friday night wedding, dry breakfast for dinner. That's what we're having.

[Kevin Ryan]

Taco omelets and no booze. No booze. Well, I guess breakfast for dinner, I wouldn't want booze.

[H. Foley]

I would say you could do mimosas at least.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, not a Bloody Mary's. Sure. I mean, I don't want to be drinking beer and eating dinner for Brett at that point. I don't even really eat at a wedding I'm drinking.

[H. Foley]

First of all, I didn't know Cracker Barrel did catering.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you got that? Cracker Barrel Breakfast.

[C]

They do it all.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really?

[H. Foley]

For catering?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[C]

Buffet style, individually plated, a la carte style.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's 100 people cost? You got the prices on there?

[H. Foley]

Give us some items there.

[C]

Let me do some inquiries.

[H. Foley]

Could do. Probably some sausage gravy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Biscuits. Some scrambies. Some sausage.

[Kevin Ryan]

Some catered scrambies, though.

[H. Foley]

That's tough, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you think it was a buffet? Would it say buffet or was it served? No.

[H. Foley]

What they got waitress? Cracker Barrel.

[Kevin Ryan]

That'd be crazy. I guess I didn't think of that. You're using Red Solo Cup.

[H. Foley]

They got that game on the table where you're trying to figure it out.

[Kevin Ryan]

With the table, with the golf tees.

[H. Foley]

That's brutal.

[Kevin Ryan]

Damn, that's a rough one.

[H. Foley]

Do it a dry, wet. Listen, alcoholism aside, all right, it's pretty cool. You're doing a dry wedding. That's not cool to do to people, man. You can't do that. Can't have a dry wedding. Make it less people.

[Kevin Ryan]

I, I, I, I understand that. I mean, a hundred people. Unless you're, like, all very less. 70% are very religious.

[H. Foley]

Do a cash bar. You don't want to spend the money. Religious? What's religion got to do with anything?

[Kevin Ryan]

A lot of times that's dry bars.

[H. Foley]

No, come on. Jesus drank. They were all fucked up.

[C]

Pancake tacos.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[C]

Buffet style? 70 bucks.

[Kevin Ryan]

What the fuck's a pancake taco?

[H. Foley]

I don't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

Let me get out. Was there. Is there taco meat in a. I thought I was bit.

[H. Foley]

No, I'm down with that.

[C]

No taco meat. It's just a buttermilk pancake filled with bacon, fried egg and cheese.

[Kevin Ryan]

Whoa. Gotcha. It's like a McGriddle. It's their version of a McGriddle.

[H. Foley]

That's all right. I. Cheers. One of those things, huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

Damn. All right. I mean, listen.

[H. Foley]

Raise it to keto, whatever you got in front of you.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a new level of trash. I've never hear breakfast for dinner at a wedding. Cracker Barrel, man. And then the red solo cup. But hey, listen, you know what? These people fucking got it together. They had a party for them. Drywedding. No, dry wedding. Tough. But they're making it fucking work.

[H. Foley]

I don't hate the breakfast or dinner. You know what would be nice is at the end of the wedding, if.

[Kevin Ryan]

You did something like that, like at the go plate.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Or like pre. Pre wrapped bacon, egg and cheeses or something. Then you're on the ride home fucking munching one.

[H. Foley]

I wanted to do that, but I got nixed. Got shot down on it.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you want to do?

[H. Foley]

I wanted to do like McDonald's or something like that for everybody on the way out the door. But breakfast. I wanted to do breakfast because it was late.

[C]

It's about $1,000 for 100 people.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that's great.

[H. Foley]

Get that. Now I'm going on in here. Let's talk about Pesty.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to Pesty.

[H. Foley]

Let's go, baby. Pesty is a do it yourself pest control that gives you the same products as the pros are using at a quarter of the cost. Their kits make it easy, and it only takes a few minutes to apply. Other pest control companies, they charge you over $800 per year. But with Pesti, you can get started at just 35 bucks per treatment with a customized plan based on your location, bugs, and climate.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I honestly, no jokes aside, no lying. For the. For the. For the ad. I used it last night, and I'll tell you, it comes in a box. You got a little. It's got like a pump on it. You press it goes. It's got a bag in it. You fill the bag up with water up to the line. Then you take the little canister. It's like a little like eyedropper type thing. You dump that in, mix it up, put the tube. Dude, it made a real bug, man. Yeah. And then you walk around, spray it just. It's like right around the edge of your house. All the way. All the way. I felt so. I felt like a man. And you're spraying it. Done. Bada bing. Throw the stuff out. Keep the sprayer. You're out in an hour. There's no like you got a bug. You're not bug bombing or nothing.

[H. Foley]

You don't gotta worry about the animals and stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

You let it dry an hour, you're good to go. It's fantastic, baby. Now's the time to protect your home from bugs with pesti. Go to pesti.com ayg I wish I knew that prior to you buying my own. For an extra 10% off your order. That's pesty. P-E-S-T-I E.com Ayg for an extra 10% off. Do it.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Kevin. Let's talk about Lucy Goods.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to Lucy. Lucy. Lucy.

[H. Foley]

Love that Lucy over here at antuti's. Lucy is 100% pure nicotine. Always tobacco free. Lucy breakers are nicotine pouches with an extra surprise inside. Each pouch holds a capsule that can be broken up to release extra flavor and hydration. Set yourself up with a subscription and have Lucy delivered straight to your door. What's my favorite flavor? You ask?

[Kevin Ryan]

What is it?

[H. Foley]

Oh, I love the mint, baby. Feels good in your mouth when you pop that capsule. You do feel the hydration a little bit.

[Kevin Ryan]

You do it.

[H. Foley]

Moistens you up a little bit. The other ones, they dry out. Now Lucy keeps you. Keeps you moist, keeps you hot, keeps you ready to go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. The good folks over Lucy have sent us some free product. And let me tell you, it's like.

[H. Foley]

We'Re going through it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean when they. When that, when that product arrives, the boys are fighting over like crab legs at a buffet. Uh huh. Let's level up your nicotine routine with Lucy. Go to Lucy Co garbage. Use the promo code. Garbage. You get 20% off your first order. That ain't nothing to shake a stick at.

[H. Foley]

It's a lot.

[Kevin Ryan]

Lucy has 30. 30. Lucy has a 30 day refund policy. If you change your mind again, that's Lucy co. Use the COD garbage, you get your 20% off. Tell them what a boy sent you. And here comes the fine print gang. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age, obviously. And every order is age verified. Warning. This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. All right, let's see here. Let's stay in the theme of eggs. This is a very egg heavy episode. A couple of eggheads. This is from Taylor not so Swift. Great name. How bad is it? If one year on vacay my dad made deviled eggs in our hotel room. With the hard boiled eggs that the continental breakfast.

[H. Foley]

Oh fuck. Jesus, Stinky.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, that was not a nice hotel.

[H. Foley]

Just deviled eggs in general, you know, they were getting made the whole refrigerator.

[Kevin Ryan]

I just got to chill. I just got the fucking.

[H. Foley]

I love a deviled egg. I'd eat the whole tray, man. In the hotel, there's a guy that makes full meals in a hotel room.

[Kevin Ryan]

You ever seen that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, sous viden the fucking steaks and shit, man.

[H. Foley]

That's a tough look. You said it was Easter.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it just said vacation.

[H. Foley]

So what do you get the mayonnaise?

[Kevin Ryan]

You get the paprika rolling with paprika?

[H. Foley]

I don't know. What are you mixing that in the ice bucket. And you got to put it back in the thing.

[Kevin Ryan]

But. So I've never made them. I don't know. I'm a. I can't. You. I remember my mom would make them way back because she had that deviled egg tray with all the little things. I remember she'd be like, be careful with. I'm in the backseat fighting Danny. We're like, fucking. I'm six. He's 11. We're in a full blown death match, dude.

[H. Foley]

That's like holding that thing from the rock with all the viruses in it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I get vaporized.

[H. Foley]

Let me out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Let me out.

[H. Foley]

Spraying you down.

[Kevin Ryan]

My skin's boiled.

[H. Foley]

How you make double eggs is you slice them. You take the. You take the yolks out as I put them in a mixing bowl. You add mayonnaise, a little Dijon mustard, maybe a little bit of Worcestershire sauce.

[Kevin Ryan]

Whip that up and put it back in.

[H. Foley]

Whip that up and you put it back in. Yeah. What you. That just gave me an idea. Oh, God, here we go. My cousin does deconstructed cannolis at Christmas. You know what I'm talking about? It'll be a cannoli dip with the chips, and you go and you go to town.

[Kevin Ryan]

I bet you do, big guy.

[H. Foley]

What if you had some type of deconstructed deviled egg where you had the deviled egg mixture in a. In a. In a bowl and then you dipped it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Does the egg. Doesn't like. It's not like a dip, a bowl thing, really.

[H. Foley]

It is the. The. The whip is.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know how the whip is the eggs not.

[H. Foley]

I don't know how you operate that. Yeah, maybe if you fry them. If you fried the eggs.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know. We're just talking crazy.

[H. Foley]

Are we?

[Kevin Ryan]

I think so.

[H. Foley]

Are we?

[Kevin Ryan]

That. Wouldn't that still. Would that be mud?

[H. Foley]

They do have fried deviled eggs. I've seen them before. I'm not saying they don't or like a Scottish egg. You ever Scottish egg? You've had that with Scottish egg?

[C]

I think so.

[H. Foley]

Oh, they're great. They're great. It's a hard boiled egg wrapped in sausage. Bread it and then deep fry.

[C]

Yes.

[H. Foley]

Oh, we're talking eggs. Oh, I'm sorry.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Taco meat.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, I came here and confessed my sins. Not proud of it. And I got it. I don't know if I'd do it again to see that. It's just like that. Taco sticks in you. It's everywhere.

[H. Foley]

It's bad. It's like garlic in the morning. You're fucked.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it's for the rest of the day. It's on my fingers.

[H. Foley]

I used to work with a Romanian guy that we would take turns.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're on the docks. What are you talking about? We're going to Romania.

[H. Foley]

Martell's Grill on 50th. And second shout out to was me and him. We used to beef all the time. Because I was usually hungover and fucked up. And I was the day bartender and he was the waiter. And I always get pissed when he'd go back behind the bar and make his own drinks. We got. We almost went to blows one time.

[Kevin Ryan]

I could see you not liking that. You taking that as a power move.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. This guy would have beat my ass.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. Most broads can too.

[H. Foley]

But we used to take turns making breakfast in the back, doing eggs. And like, I would just do regular eggs. He'd come hit me with the fucking. With the Ukraine plate. It would be loaded with garlic and.

[Kevin Ryan]

Beets and shit like that chicken head looking at you and no, thank you.

[H. Foley]

Gagging.

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't know you ever have eggs.

[H. Foley]

With garlic and ketchup on it, dudes. Oh, man. I'll be in the can.

[Kevin Ryan]

I feel like all those Eastern European countries all have like translucent. A lot of translucent vegetables. Hardcore. The colors boiled out of them. Hardcore jellyfish looking at you.

[H. Foley]

Their breakfast is wild. It's an assortment.

[Kevin Ryan]

I listen, this is a bit of a confession. I didn't know what a poached egg was until. How old AM I now? 38, probably. Probably the year. I know what year it was. It was the year 2000. It was the year 2020. I wasn't really sure what a poached egg was. And my wife made them get no class.

[H. Foley]

I. Dude, they're great. Yeah, you should be doing them now. I teach you how to do them. It's easy. Get a pot going. Little boiling water.

[Kevin Ryan]

This guy's just good at stuff.

[H. Foley]

All Of a sudden, got pot going.

[C]

His wife does them.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Why do I need. I'm not learning how to make. I do. I thought someone splooged in our pot for a minute. I said, what the. I'm not eating this. What the hell is even that? No, thank you. That was like. I was like, nope.

[H. Foley]

Goddamn egg just nutted my mouth. Now clean yourself up and get out of here.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm buttoning my pants, dirt ball. Yeah. I was like, that's not for me. I didn't know that. I didn't know that's what was on an Eggs Benny, which I didn't really touch first. Eggs Benny I had. Was at Silk City. Had crab meat. Eggs. Crab eggs Benny, you're crazy. That was.

[H. Foley]

I've known about them since the mid-80s.

[Kevin Ryan]

If you thought anyone in my family. Denise was ordering, I mean, shout out to Tiffany's.

[H. Foley]

We used to go there for brunch.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't think I've ever went. I don't think I've ever went out to breakfast with Denise ever.

[H. Foley]

Really.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was my dad.

[H. Foley]

No kidding. I mean, like, that's sad. I love going to breakfast with Patty. That's where we get our.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not saying as a kid.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, we were in school most of the time, obviously.

[H. Foley]

And everyone out together as a family. I was ruined. No, but breakfast, that's where you would have done it.

[Kevin Ryan]

What? My dad. My dad. We went out with my dad all the time.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, if you would have stayed, the family would have stayed together. You guys would all went out together. But breakfast is kind of a dad thing. When I think about my mom's not.

[Kevin Ryan]

Taking me to the suburban diner.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, but your dad would.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, my God. Like every week after. After.

[H. Foley]

Sit at the counter church. Have a cup of hot chocolate while he's having a coffee.

[Kevin Ryan]

Also, she worked every other weekend, so it was like, there's not a lot of time for. In school Monday. She always made breakfast at the crib. Yeah, but never, never out.

[H. Foley]

It was always a big culture shock. Eating with your father alone. And you would see how he really ate. Like, you ever see a grown man eat Sunnyside eggs for the first time?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know.

[H. Foley]

I thought he was eating alien eyeballs.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. I don't know if my dad eat.

[H. Foley]

My French dough sticks. Zip it.

[Kevin Ryan]

My dad would do an omelet with peppers in it. And that might as well been fucking. That might as well been alien food, dude. No way. He's like, yeah, like a Western. I would he would do like green peppers and onions. He would do that on a pizza. Doing. It ruined the other slices. It ruined it. And everybody knows. I remember at one point, like, dude, he's like, yeah, let's get a pizza. Half green peppers and sauce or whatever the fuck. Ground beef or something like, dude, you're stinking up my plain sleazies here. The fuck, man? And you're only going to have to do slices. Then you're going to put that in the same bag in the fucking. In the fridge. And that's gonna, you know, cross contamination.

[H. Foley]

It's like being roommates with an Italian. Oh, man, get out of here with that cologne.

[Kevin Ryan]

Fucking hated that. Hated that shit. All right, let's see. I mean, hey, this is from Mikey B. My parents told us they were getting a divorce after 30 years. Two days before family vacation. My only concern was with if we were still going to Florida. We still had a great time.

[H. Foley]

I see. I respect that. There's no need for all this fighting. It didn't work out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not at the happiest place on earth.

[H. Foley]

Let's be friends and walk away.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

You know what I'm saying?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's. That's very funny. That's the impetus of my parents getting divorced. Was. Was Disney.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, it was.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was the morning of. I remember having Mickey ears on my little guy. And he was like tying my shoes, like, hey, hey, slugger, I'm not coming today. And I said, you. What the fuck? I watched that checkbook. Still coming. I was told, breakfast with the characters. If you want to start buying my affection, you better start now.

[H. Foley]

No kidding.

[Kevin Ryan]

He didn't go.

[H. Foley]

You had Mickey ears on going to the plane.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was like, maybe four.

[H. Foley]

Still a loser.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sorry. I remember having a Mickey.

[H. Foley]

Did they told him? Did they tell you? Leading up to that, hey, you're gonna. We're gonna be going to Disney World in a couple of weeks or whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm sure. I mean, I was like a child.

[H. Foley]

Usually what the parents do is they don't say shit. And then you wake up that day. I've seen videos of that. My parents never. I never went to Disney World.

[Kevin Ryan]

I took you to Disney World.

[H. Foley]

You did take me. I knew about it, though. You don't surprise me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sorry I followed, man. It's just. Never should have said.

[H. Foley]

You should have. That would have been great if you surprised me. If I would have came into the studio one day, hey, big guy, we packed your bags. We're going down to Disney.

[Kevin Ryan]

You still would have found some way that this is Stupid. I don't want to do it.

[H. Foley]

I loved it. It's my best trip ever. Shot. Love Disney.

[Kevin Ryan]

You said, thank you.

[H. Foley]

I'll go to you. That's crazy. In the car. Didn't I. I thank you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Thought they were poached eggs. Yeah, I would. I would have the fee. I would have the assumption that Disney World is probably like a crucial breaking point in a lot of families.

[H. Foley]

Vacations are in general.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know, but I'm saying Disney World because that is like there's. The kids are hyped. You're not just going to fucking Nana's house in the fucking Catskills. This is like we're saving up. It's so expensive. All this fucking pressure. Most of the time it's like I never fucking loved you.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Most of the times you. You really can't aff. Like theoretically you can't afford it, but you're making it work.

[Kevin Ryan]

Get the average cost. I'm sure we did this. The average cost of Disney for a family of four, it's got to be with flights. Gotta be seven grand.

[H. Foley]

And that's stressful.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's not staying on property. You're staying on property. That's fucking 10, 15 grand.

[H. Foley]

And that's stressful.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what I'm saying.

[H. Foley]

And they get down there. Oh yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

One of the kids not having fun.

[H. Foley]

Kids get into a fight.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you got?

[C]

I mean, they're saying six to eight grand.

[H. Foley]

Six to eight grand. Wait, what's the family of four?

[C]

Well, they said the budget, the super budget friendly is 2200. That's probably. If you live local.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's sleeping in your car. Exactly.

[H. Foley]

That's kids.

[C]

And then to 15 grand.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that makes sense. I would probably say you get that you're going down for four days a week. The room, the food, the fucking restaurants, the souvenirs. You're in for 10.

[C]

Build a lightsaber or something.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, you're in for 10.

[H. Foley]

You never had anything like that. Right? It was all smooth sailing.

[C]

We went to Legoland. I remember. You get 20 bucks.

[H. Foley]

20?

[C]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

The fuck you gonna get a Legoland for? 20 bucks?

[C]

I'd work my way up to a hundred.

[H. Foley]

I sweep it up.

[Kevin Ryan]

I shorted the market a little bit. Was able to convert that. I bought some. Some put calls or whatever the fuck they're called. This guy, by the way. Me and Luke got into a sneaky crypto yesterday. Yeah, I dumped. I dumped into it this morning.

[H. Foley]

You got out of it?

[C]

It went up a little bit.

[Kevin Ryan]

I did, Yeah. I have 6 million shares maybe. I just gotta hit 10 bucks and everybody can s my d. Wait a minute.

[H. Foley]

Did you get out of it or you in it?

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm in it, baby. I'm in it to win it, right? What do you mean? Yeah, right.

[H. Foley]

I'm in gold.

[Kevin Ryan]

You take out your tooth. Let's get grills now. Barbosa's got grills. No, he's running around Mexican OT cool guys. I got you. I'm taking you to Disney World. Not even getting thanked for it.

[H. Foley]

Barbosa's young kids. Got good looking kids. Got cool cars.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got the loom.

[H. Foley]

You're old and ugly.

[Kevin Ryan]

Touche.

[H. Foley]

You don't know what a poached egg is.

[Kevin Ryan]

I do now. Still don't touch him.

[C]

Johnny dang on him for 1200.

[Kevin Ryan]

Johnny Dang grills. 1200 for a grill?

[H. Foley]

Yeah. No, but listen, we bring this up a lot. This is going back a couple of weeks. But I seen the clip that we had with Segura. I think I should get some veneers, man. My mouth is fucked up. I look gross.

[Kevin Ryan]

What the fuck? Have you not been watching the show for five years?

[H. Foley]

Dude? Taking heat.

[Kevin Ryan]

We do four episodes a week.

[H. Foley]

Get me some. I get some grill. Listen, you're a dentist out there. You want to throw some grills Uncle. Or throw some veneers? Uncle Hank's.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't think that's. Go and pay to pay the expensive price.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Come in looking like a woodchuck. Hit me chewing through the table.

[H. Foley]

Hit me up.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I have diesel bringing you.

[H. Foley]

If you're in the plastic surgeon dentist field.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[C]

Anywhere from 900 to 2,500. Per tooth.

[H. Foley]

Per tooth?

[C]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You'd let me do a little. A couple free shout outs if somebody hooked me up, right?

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, why not? I gotta wet my beak.

[H. Foley]

You bottom my teeth sometimes.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got a hot date with the bro. I'm saying I got your teeth in. I'd kill myself. I'd much I jump off a bridge before I did that. Why don't you get the dentures? You're you're getting of age. You're probably covered under Medicaid.

[H. Foley]

You mean take them all my teeth out?

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

Take all my teeth?

[Kevin Ryan]

There's not that many left.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, there is. I'm not doing that. That messes up your facial features.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean?

[H. Foley]

Getting all your teeth taken out by drooping down?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, but then you put the teeth in like my pop off and pull them out and scare the out. I ever tell you that's the granddad did that. He hit me with that. I to 1, 2. Real quick. I don't play that.

[H. Foley]

This guy's an alien.

[Kevin Ryan]

He scared me to begin with. I was a young kid. He's old man. Don't get. If you're. If you're gonna do it, do it. Spend the money. Don't fucking. Don't.

[H. Foley]

I'm not saying. I'm not saying get it cheap. If there's. If there's a quality plastic surgeon, dentist out there that's willing to hook me up with some veneers, give you some free advertising, I'll be your spokesman, something like that. We'll work out a deal.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who does veneers? What is it just like a dentist is an orthodontist.

[H. Foley]

Oral surgeon, I would assume.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. What about braces?

[H. Foley]

Huh?

[C]

Adult braces.

[Kevin Ryan]

You need teeth for braces.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I need teeth.

[C]

Can pull it all down.

[H. Foley]

I need bigger teeth to come down below my fat lips. I'll just do the tops. I won't get the bottoms done.

[C]

It's about 10 grand.

[H. Foley]

Look like Freddie Mercury coming here whistling.

[Kevin Ryan]

And when a wife. Peter. Okay, I mean. But I'm just saying this is how you do stuff. You'll find it on the cheap and then you're gonna, like, try to get a deal or something, which I respect.

[H. Foley]

No, I want it free. Full deal. I'm trading advertising.

[Kevin Ryan]

Then you have. No, no, we're not. Then you have no recourse. When it stinks, that'll be all right. No, because, dude, you've never, like, you're.

[H. Foley]

They won't want it to stink because I'll be promoting them.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, with a lisp all of a sudden. Welcome to all you garbage.

[C]

If you go to dental school, you can get them for free.

[H. Foley]

No, if I go to a dental school. That's right. That's right. That used to be the big dirtbag thing. Go to NYU Dental.

[Kevin Ryan]

Still is. I mean, used to be.

[H. Foley]

It's like getting your haircut at the barber school.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. What the.

[H. Foley]

I'm out there looking like a goober. I get a haircut over there. Veneers over here.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's see. This one's from music video. When I was five, my mom would rinse out beer cans, fill them with juice for me and my sister so we could pretend drink with the adults. That's.

[H. Foley]

Man, that's a home run as.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, I don't know if we ever did that per se, but it was like, we're just such a drinking. And they still are. We just do everything is just. You get a boat. Yeah. Go out and drink all day, you get whatever. You could do that. It's just drinking. If we're going out to dinner, let's meet at Sarah's, have a couple of drinks, then go to dinner and then stop at Danny's, have a couple of dinner.

[H. Foley]

They led you into that with the. With the champagne toast, with the apple site, with that cider.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

They started getting you into that.

[Kevin Ryan]

We were allowed to do a nip of champagne pre.

[H. Foley]

I was allowed to do a nip of beer. The softball team was getting together.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was allowed to do it from. If I. From 10 to 12, I'll do a six pack a week. Long day, quarter keg on a weekend that's goddamn long.

[H. Foley]

Division's killing me, huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

One beer ball for the three of us.

[H. Foley]

Keep it up in the room. Now. We were always allowed to have, you know, a little sip of something if they were drunk enough. Nice. Nice keg of Jenny cream ale. Screaming, cold fucking. Fill that up, guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Take a little sip.

[H. Foley]

They'd love it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I remember they're a cop in my family. One of my uncles was a Philadelphia cop. And I was 16 maybe, I don't know. Yeah, I think about 16 or almost 16. July 4th weekend, Ocean City, Maryland. We went over. They were doing a. They do the nights in Venice, they call it. You know, nights in Venice, like a wait down ashore.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. In Ocean City.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's like a boat parade on July 4th. And each year is like a theme. It's like this one's fucking aliens or something. I don't know. We only went, I mean, a boat parade in Ocean City. That is anti. Denise. So we were. We were on a friend or some. We were on someone's dock at like a condo association. So like everyone's out, they're grilling, you know, we're out there and I. Sorry. I said that somebody had a fucking five gallon jug of water ice that they like boosted from somewhere. Like we got like. They came from like arenas or something. Like we didn't. It wasn't sanctioned, you know, it was somebody who'd never had water. I showed up with two 5 gallon buckets of water ice.

[H. Foley]

12 year old's hand in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

I even want to say they were like 10, you know, like the big, like kind of like small trash or like, you know, like a.

[H. Foley]

No, Rita sells them.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nah, these weren't. But you sure it wasn't Rita's, Okay? For sure. It wasn't read. If it's read, I Remember reading Shout out to Rita's. They. And they were pouring vodka in there. I was eyeing that out. The adults were. And my uncle who was a cop, blue mouth from 15 of them things, he's gone, how old are you? I'm like, for 15 or 14.

[H. Foley]

You're like 30.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's like, he can have one. And everybody's like, stop it, Jim. No, he can't. Stop it. Stop it.

[H. Foley]

One of those.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's old enough to drive. He can have a beer.

[H. Foley]

One of those. Would you up?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it put me on my arsh. I mean, I was probably kind of.

[H. Foley]

Drinking at Swedish Fish.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was drinking and smoking at that point. I was probably nipping away stealing them from my stepdad. Catching a Winston on the side of someone's boot.

[H. Foley]

Campbell. Let's talk about Harry's.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to Harry's.

[H. Foley]

You want to hear a funny joke?

[Kevin Ryan]

What's that?

[H. Foley]

You know some of these bozo companies, they're charging you for razors. Mm, Not Harry's.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nope.

[H. Foley]

Harry's is what we call no jokes. Especially when it comes to prices. They send you the best quality razors right to your door for a fraction of the price of the big brands. And right now you can get a ten dollar trial set for six bucks at Harry's.com Ayg an exclusive offer for the bozos and the homies.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes, the good folks over at Harry's have sent it to us and I gotta tell you, my wife's been using it for a legs that's keeping my neck cleaned out. You keep the neck clean, you do up here, you get those wild hairs, you know what I mean? Because I got to keep it a little stubble to cover the double chin because I'm a bigger guy. But all those other places keeps you nice and clean and good. They got German engineered blades made in their own factory that stay sharper longer. Customized delivery options for scheduled refills as low as $2 and half of what you pay. For the other big brands. You get a five blade razor, weighted handle, foaming, shave gel and travel cover for just six bucks, which is insane. At Harry's.com Ayg get the shaving products that always deliver. Get Harry's. Normally their trial set is 10 bucks, but right now you can get it for just $6. Harry.comAYG our exclusive link Harry's.comAYG for the trial set for $6. Do it.

[H. Foley]

Do it.

[C]

This episode is brought to you by Lifelock.

[Kevin Ryan]

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[C]

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[Kevin Ryan]

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[C]

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[Kevin Ryan]

Those Winstons I used, I mean I used to get the filter on.

[H. Foley]

Those looked different. It looked like Vietnam camouflage. It just had. There was something different about.

[Kevin Ryan]

Specs were different.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Freaked. Yeah. Which I wonder, what are all those specs? What are they specked?

[Kevin Ryan]

I thought it was probably to look like whatever paper they used previously. You know what I mean? It was like. I thought it was like a. Wait, what do you mean? Like on the outside, like the filter.

[H. Foley]

Why is the filter specked?

[Kevin Ryan]

I think it's like to look textured.

[H. Foley]

Huh.

[Kevin Ryan]

So it looks more like my eyes. It was like to look like a natural fabric, like a natural fiber type.

[H. Foley]

Huh.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like a leaf or paper.

[H. Foley]

Oh, gosh, all right.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. I'm making that up completely. I have no fucking clue. Because it was like.

[C]

I. Yeah, it's the simulate cork appearance, which was like the original, I guess, filter cork wrapping for the filters.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. No kidding.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Like I said, a natural fiber.

[H. Foley]

Look at how bad heaters were at like the turn of the century. Brutal.

[Kevin Ryan]

They were awesome. There was no guilt. You were a cool Johnny Cole guy. Just cranking a heaty. My stepdad, the soft pack, he'd be like in a. In. In an engine, just, you know, I remember one time he sucked a tube and spit the coolant out or something. We were all standing there like, what the.

[H. Foley]

Dude, get a hit of that. You can bogart that all night, old man. Make with the antifreeze, will you? He wouldn't even trying to wet my whistle here.

[Kevin Ryan]

Those old blue collar guys smoke differently. We're like us. They smoked while they did stuff. We would do stuff. Imma go catch you. I'm gonna take his Sig break. He's in an engine, not looking up. Like, you know, with like a ratchet.

[H. Foley]

Burning in your face.

[Kevin Ryan]

One dude, he'll reload in there. He won't even pop out of the hood. He reaches in his front pocket, pops it up. Because it's a soft pack. Pops it up. He's got the gross, man. Get some heaters. What are we doing? We did a good.

[H. Foley]

Boys are off the eat.

[Kevin Ryan]

We had a good run.

[H. Foley]

You think?

[Kevin Ryan]

What? Nah, I mean, I'm. I'm over. I'm over four months at this point.

[H. Foley]

I can't do it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Celebrate. Wet a stinger.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, me either.

[H. Foley]

We're done.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're done. Till next time, Zinnies.

[H. Foley]

As I put one in my back pocket. He's dry out very quick too. And you find them in your pocket. I always think it's a little bag of blow left in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Fuck. All right. Speaking of heaters, this is from Cody Cottey, $10 investor. Never had one. Red. Is it garbage to light your bowl of weed with a cigarette because you didn't have a lighter and the guy wouldn't let you use his lighter? Lighting a bowl of weed with a cig.

[H. Foley]

Come on, what are we doing here?

[Kevin Ryan]

I've never.

[H. Foley]

I mean, I don't even know that would work.

[Kevin Ryan]

You would assume. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Lighting a joint with one. I could see.

[C]

Got to be careful.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. Because like the transfer of the cherry, right? Yeah. Would stick to the weed, I presume. Because that happens sometimes when you're lighting a cig off a sig.

[H. Foley]

Oh, ruin it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I love it.

[H. Foley]

Also the cigarette in the opening video.

[Kevin Ryan]

Love the cigarette lighter.

[H. Foley]

No, no, the cigarette lighter in the car.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

That would rip the half the cigarette off.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You didn't do that, right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. You really got to work the airflow in that to keep it.

[H. Foley]

That's like a steel pan. You got to get it real hot. Otherwise the eggs will stick.

[Kevin Ryan]

I always felt like a native American using those because you got to really got to work the. We really got to like billow it. You know what I mean? You really gotta. There's like a flume and a, you know, a flu. What is it? You really got to work the. The oxygen work. And that's what you doing. Mtps and stuff like that.

[H. Foley]

Wait for Custer to show up, come get me.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's wild. As many fucking dirtbag friends have I had who were like full vegged out potheads. I've never seen that.

[H. Foley]

Who wouldn't let you remember when the guy that was a dick about the lighter. Give me that back, people.

[Kevin Ryan]

Because you've stolen.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I know. Still, sometimes people are too, like, I get the fuck. I don't give a shit about you. You're lighter.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, but you. I. I see what you're saying, steal it. But you are stealing it. So you are the guy they're worried about because you never have a lighter and you steal other people's lighters. So guys go, come on, man, my lighter. And you go, I'll give it. I don't care.

[H. Foley]

But the guy that's too overprotective about it or the guy that, like, would always about how much smokes cost. It's like, shut the up, you dork.

[Kevin Ryan]

Coming from the guy who never had cigs and constantly stole.

[H. Foley]

Just saying.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm just saying. Too.

[H. Foley]

Buy you a lighter.

[Kevin Ryan]

He used to fucking hit me. I always have packs. No, you don't, because you're constantly asking me for heaters.

[H. Foley]

It's all a thing of the past now.

[Kevin Ryan]

Or is it? Next 2026, the SIG Tour.

[H. Foley]

Back on the Heaters.

[Kevin Ryan]

Back on the Heaters Tour.

[H. Foley]

Back on the Heaters Tour.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, that's pretty good.

[H. Foley]

Get Philip Morris to sponsor it.

[Kevin Ryan]

They'll be throwing out the cash. There ain't a lot of advertise like that no more.

[H. Foley]

From the back of Sports Illustrated on some catamaran.

[Kevin Ryan]

What would I. Now that you're off smoking? You know, smoking's bad, obviously.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

What would the. What would the amount have to be for them to endorse you to start smoking? You got to start smoking again.

[H. Foley]

I mean. I mean, that could happen in, you know, a half a drink. Yeah. Stumble across a bag or something. I'm back on.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know, but a year. You got to smoke for a year publicly. Talk about it. You got to wear them. You got to wear a T shirt. You gotta. You're a. You're a Marlboro medium. That. You were a medium guy. You're a Marlboro medium spokesperson now. You got. You're spinning these dangerous things billboard in Times Square.

[H. Foley]

That's it. Yep.

[Kevin Ryan]

You don't even want the cash.

[H. Foley]

Nah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Are you Kramer? Oh, that'd be pretty.

[C]

You're the Morrow man.

[H. Foley]

How sweet would that be? Can't get on the horse. Broken. Just walking next to it.

[C]

It's crippled.

[H. Foley]

Nothing.

[Kevin Ryan]

A hundred grand. I do it. Wow.

[H. Foley]

I do a lot for 100.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'd start. Dude, I'm about to start. Yeah. Like you said, I'm about to start smoking again for sure. If I could sell it to my wife that it's helping the baby, she would know if I was a public spokesperson for a cigarette company.

[H. Foley]

Keep her off the Internet. Hey, the Verizon's out again. You believe that? You're dressed up like a cowboy walking around with the spurs.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's see. This one's from chezy. E. Cheesy E10$. Never had one read. Is it garbage to see a picture of your dad's erect Johnson. He was a carpenter and was showing me pictures of a Bathroom. He did on his phone. He said, this is the custom vanity. This is the walk in shower. Whoops, that's my cock. Sorry about that. That's the pocket door we put in.

[H. Foley]

Whoops, that's my cock.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why is that in the middle of the picture?

[H. Foley]

Could you take it on the job?

[Kevin Ryan]

Whoa. That's crazy.

[H. Foley]

I wonder how old he was.

[Kevin Ryan]

IPhones. I mean, he's showing this. This had to be recent. This is. This is post.

[H. Foley]

That means he's an older guy and this guy's a. This guy's a grown man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it'd be like our dad. Like he's in his 20s, obviously got an iPhone.

[H. Foley]

Old silver cock.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, that's my. Well, that's my dad.

[H. Foley]

The old man's still doing it, huh? Holy. I wonder if he's married. If that's to the wife.

[Kevin Ryan]

Probably emailed that to everybody in his contacts by accident. Whoopsie. He posted on Facebook.

[H. Foley]

Talking about the president. He put that thing in there. Don't tread on me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did you ever see that? I don't know if it's a bit or it's an old. It was like an old meme of the guy on the scale and he's naked and there's the reflection all from. He takes a picture, it says like 218 or whatever. And the reflection out with his little acorn. And then the comment below it is, holy shit. How do you delete pictures? It's gotta be. Ah, man, how you doing?

[H. Foley]

Ah, that's good. You ever see any racy photos of your parents?

[Kevin Ryan]

Photos?

[H. Foley]

There's one of my old man that was in the cabinet above our refrigerator from his chief initiation. It was like a big thing like when he. When he became chief. I don't know what the circumstances are.

[Kevin Ryan]

What was he wearing?

[H. Foley]

Navy with it. He had his pants down. This was at like a.

[Kevin Ryan]

This was at like, it's like an initiation like thing.

[H. Foley]

This was at like a party. This was at like a function where they had like the big party for him when he became chief. And he had like his thing on and his pants were down and his ass was sticking out and he had like a blindfold hold on his hands up in the air and like everybody's laughing like my mom's like doing this. Was so confused.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's like good clean fun.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. But it was the whole like month or week or whatever they. With him.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Why? He was like getting ready.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like a hazing type thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Never seen his rod Though I mean, I would assume most people seen their. Their. Their. Their father. Most guys have seen their father.

[H. Foley]

Not rock hard.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hard is crazy. No, I've never seen that.

[H. Foley]

That's my. My dad also never referred to it as his.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that's rough.

[H. Foley]

Your dad say. Hearing your dad say.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think I heard my dad one time say dicker down. I think I told you that, E. I was like, dude, we are too close. We were all older.

[H. Foley]

Every old high, hard one.

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh? I dicked her down like, what the. Turning my chicken tendies over here.

[H. Foley]

Never anything.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was an odd time because my dad had gotten divorced and then it was my. My parents got divorced and then he was with my stepmom for a long time, like most of, if not all of my childhood. And then they got divorced when I was an adult.

[H. Foley]

Man, he was probably running through those happy hour local scenes.

[Kevin Ryan]

So, yeah, we. But then we were also working together in shape.

[H. Foley]

Good looking dude, nice jeans. I seen him.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You are not your father's son, I can tell you that now.

[Kevin Ryan]

You see it now like I'm turning into him as he's gotten older.

[H. Foley]

She got the stash going.

[Kevin Ryan]

He had a soul patch at one point, but. But he was single. When I'm. I mean, I'm 23. Danny's 28. We're all working together and drinking together.

[H. Foley]

Taking tail from you.

[Kevin Ryan]

So it's just like. We're like all out. It just got like. I'm like, this is weird. We all got to get out of here. This ain't. This ain't good no more. This is getting weird.

[H. Foley]

Real freaky coming up. The works.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's see here. This was from Split Crustedy. My family owns a rundown bowling alley and likes to have holiday parties there. One time during Thanksgiving, they let people come in and play during our family Thanksgiving dinner. That's fucking crazy. Someone's got to get up and reset the pins.

[H. Foley]

Smacking some stuffing in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Everybody's all tired from the turkey. You got to go. You got to go. Reset the pin. Holy shit. That's nuts. That's. That's a lot, I feel. I mean, but hey, listen, you need. It's a small business, operating a small business nowadays, especially like stuff like that, like entertainment, destination stuff. All these fucking dorks are on their phones all day. That. You got it. If people are coming in to spend some cash, you got to take it. Plus, you're already there. You got a whole family. Whole. All the employees are there.

[H. Foley]

Bless us the Lord in these days.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, turkey. Talk about a turkey. Damn, that's tough. All right, let's see. This one's from Hulk. Is it garbage to make your parents bring you home a pub sub every time they go to Florida?

[H. Foley]

What's a pub sub?

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm in New York. Chicken finger sub has a hold on me. They're pretty pre wrapped public sub.

[C]

Like they have like sub maker.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, so you can go get one. May I only know the ones that they have like, pre made.

[H. Foley]

Wait, what do you mean? You go get them in the store?

[C]

Yeah, like they have like a wawa set up where you can Wait.

[H. Foley]

So that's right. I keep forgetting about this. Craig Burke talks about this.

[Kevin Ryan]

Everybody in the south talks about pub subs.

[H. Foley]

Okay?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's their thing. Pub sub is the public public's submarine sandwich.

[H. Foley]

Right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Most. A lot of times you can either get them made or they have them pre wrapped. Like they make them every day famous. I've. Yeah, I've never had them.

[H. Foley]

See, I respect this move. And this goes back to Abe's hot dogs. And I know it's only two hours and Florida's a little bit different, but.

[Kevin Ryan]

Anytime, a lot of dudes, you're putting a pub sub through TSA on a.

[H. Foley]

Plane, throw it in your fucking carry on. You're gonna be home in a couple hours. It ain't that far.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

I was. We were always big on if somebody went up to Wilkes Barre and they were coming home. You bring home a thing of Babe's hot dogs.

[Kevin Ryan]

Get that. We know you love the hot dogs. No one's pushing back on the hot dogs. Emotional connection aside, that is significantly different than flying food back. You have to understand that you get hot dogs on the brain and you. You start judging on a curve here.

[H. Foley]

Chicken salad too. I respect that.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, chicken finger. I think chicken finger. It's like, you can listen. I'm not saying they're not chicken salad, man.

[C]

So that travels worse to me.

[H. Foley]

Of course it would. I understand that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm still like it groovy.

[H. Foley]

I do like it a little grody.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not saying because if I get a.

[H. Foley]

If I get. If we get bagels or something like that, and I get like, I'll get a chicken salad bagel. I'll let that sit out for like a couple hours and then have it because you're disgusting.

[Kevin Ryan]

A pub sub is not like a delicacy. You could. You can get a very normal equivalent to that. That's Abe's hot dogs. I get what you're saying. That's a drive. They're going back to town. That's completely different. I know people that bring up a Sam's Pizza from Wildwood. I think it's a little bottom.

[H. Foley]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm with that. I'm not pushing back on that.

[H. Foley]

We actually do the same thing.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm talking about having someone go to a grocery. They're on vacation. Not going to a fucking grocery store. You're making someone go to a grocery store. Buy yet they're. The whole thing is they're five dollars buying a five dollar chicken finger Hoogie. Come on. You live in fucking New York City.

[H. Foley]

We also do the same thing with Grotto Pizza. You know Grotto Pizza?

[Kevin Ryan]

I feel like I know the name. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I think it started up in Wilkes Barre, but they're down in. Down in Delaware now. They're big in Delaware. I could be. I know they're in Delaware. I know they're in Dewey Beach. Bring back a pie at.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I don't know that they got.

[C]

One in the city in New York. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

A Grotto Pizza.

[Kevin Ryan]

No way. It's.

[H. Foley]

No.

[C]

If it's the same one.

[H. Foley]

No, it can't be the same. I would have got the newsletter. Be over there right now. What are we doing?

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's see. This is from Adam Gowen. My aunt brings a cardboard cutout of her dead son, which is my cousin, to family function. So he can be there too. I think this is the second time we've heard this.

[H. Foley]

That's the cutout. The ashes I could get. I get behind the ashes.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, I understand I. I'd have to push back on that. I think there's a little bit of, like, you gotta accept it and move on a little bit. You're bringing an earn. That's a lot. It's like you can, you know, you can still have them in your memory and your heart and everything. Like rolling up. I've never been to. If I'm at a party and someone rolls up with an urn, that's a vibe changer.

[H. Foley]

Just put it in a mantle.

[Kevin Ryan]

On someone else's mantle.

[H. Foley]

Would you keep me in there?

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you think I'm getting you?

[H. Foley]

I got a little PC in the will.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got a piece of you in the wheel.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Wait, you get some of my ashes?

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

No. You don't want them?

[C]

I got you, big dog.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You keep it around.

[C]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Don't go spreading it in Central park or something.

[C]

Put you in a blunt.

[Kevin Ryan]

You smoke it Just get really fat.

[H. Foley]

He trying to put on weight. No, you wouldn't keep me up on the mail high.

[Kevin Ryan]

Great movie.

[H. Foley]

You wouldn't keep me up on the mantle a little. A little cup of me.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's not what we're saying here.

[H. Foley]

And bring me around. I'm not bringing you around to shows and stuff. No, I want to hang out in the green room. I don't want to miss any goss who we trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're over there complaining. Hey, someone hand me that. Plug this in for me.

[H. Foley]

Someone dyma the cardboard cutout. Is that sad? Yeah, that's pretty sad.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, I don't know. I've never been anywhere. Like, if you have the. Like, I guess if you have the. The ashes on a keychain or something, you keep that with you. But yeah. Come in and go, where can I put Gary? That's a lot with an urn of going, where can I put pop up.

[H. Foley]

Diet soda in front of him?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's strange to me.

[H. Foley]

You know. Of course. That's trauma. That's trauma.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what I'm saying. You got to. You got to process that a little bit. You're leaving the house. Gary can stay there. Gary can be with you in spirit. Then you get home, you see Gary again.

[H. Foley]

Put him in the front window.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'd also.

[H. Foley]

That's probably the burglars away.

[Kevin Ryan]

Am I getting a PC?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you have a will?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I gotta get that. I guess not.

[H. Foley]

Left it all to Luke.

[Kevin Ryan]

Gotta get my affairs in order now.

[H. Foley]

I don't have a fucking will you talking about. I'm getting one, though, okay. Leaving it all.

[Kevin Ryan]

Think that's good for a guy your size and age and medical history. Now what happens list? We. We do have to talk. We got to talk to JB if one of us croaks.

[H. Foley]

Mm.

[Kevin Ryan]

Where? We got to have some sort of operating agreement of where the shares go. Mm. I don't want to be fighting your dirtbag family in court.

[H. Foley]

No, you don't.

[Kevin Ryan]

With them trying to be the co host and shit like that.

[H. Foley]

That.

[Kevin Ryan]

They'll be doing my bits. It'll be Patty and her three friends. Next thing you know. I ain't dealing with that. We need something where your shares and control reverts back to me.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I'll pay them 1500 bucks every year for exclusive AI.

[H. Foley]

Double what I get now. Holy Ma, we're rich. Listen, I ain't going anywhere.

[Kevin Ryan]

Famous last words.

[H. Foley]

Public chicken sub.

[Kevin Ryan]

Pub sub. Oh, God. Let's see. All right, we got Time for one more. I think this one's just.

[H. Foley]

Hit me.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is just funny. This is from Coinstar, homie. Great name.

[H. Foley]

Love it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Have you ever tried to sing a song to Shazam? Cut My life into Pieces?

[H. Foley]

Does that work?

[Kevin Ryan]

I doubt. It's great. I always hated the Shazam people. Turn this up. They're, like, holding it in the car. Everybody would hold it in the car up to the radio. You're like, hey, jerk off, the speakers aren't up here. Oh, what song is this? Dude, shut up. It's Hootie and the Blowfish.

[H. Foley]

Just ask me. Dick. And it's my playlist.

[Kevin Ryan]

I put my al. I put my goddamn CD player.

[H. Foley]

That technology is pretty impressive, though, Obviously.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very impressive.

[H. Foley]

Very. The guy that created that, sitting on a little bit of fucking dough up there.

[Kevin Ryan]

It might have been Zuck. I think Zuck. I think Zuck had a hand in it, or. No, Zuck had a hand in. He had the. The algorithm for Pandora or something.

[H. Foley]

He wrote that.

[Kevin Ryan]

He wrote, cut my life into pieces. This is my social network. Lots of friends.

[H. Foley]

He actually did write the code, right? Like he wrote the code for Facebook. So he's not just like the Steve Jobs of it. He actually knew how to do this shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. What do you got, Luke?

[C]

Chris Barton was the creator of Shazam, but I can't find his net worth.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who's Chris Barton? Was he on Shark Tank? Was that. I hated it. If that's a guy I'm thinking of, I don't think. No, just a Chris Barton. Shazam.

[C]

It was in 1999.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did you ever own Shazam? Did you ever have it on your. Your phone?

[H. Foley]

I have it on my phone now.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really?

[H. Foley]

Just comes with your phone.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it doesn't.

[H. Foley]

Yes, it does.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it does not.

[H. Foley]

I know. Then whoever. I just asked Siri. Oh, you just. I thought that was the same thing.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shazam was an app.

[H. Foley]

Oh, I don't know.

[C]

Apple acquired Shazam in 2018 and then.

[H. Foley]

Just put it in the phones?

[C]

I don't think so.

[H. Foley]

Press the thing on the side.

[Kevin Ryan]

Siri. Yes, Siri. You're just asking Siri.

[H. Foley]

So she does the same shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

She does?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[C]

I've never used it.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, you just hold the side. Who sings this? It comes right up.

[C]

Siri, who sings this? Cut my life into pieces. This is my last resort.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why'd you get British?

[H. Foley]

Does it come up?

[C]

Papa Roach? Lazarus.

[H. Foley]

Bang. There you go. There you go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, that's pretty good, that they had.

[H. Foley]

To sell that to them. That. That algorithm or whatever the fuck it Is that. Dude, that's a couple of bucks right there.

[C]

Can do accents too.

[H. Foley]

How you doing, huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. Zuckerberg did not create Pandora. While Zuckerberg did develop a music.

[H. Foley]

Shazam.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

Shazam.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

You said Pandora.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know.

[H. Foley]

What's that got to do with anything? I said talking about Shazam.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, can I explain myself? I've already did this. Now I'm read. This is. This is what it's like hanging out with you.

[H. Foley]

I think you're losing it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you know what I'm talking about?

[C]

I'm picking it up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Thank you.

[H. Foley]

I want them in the urn. You won't have to worry about this.

[Kevin Ryan]

Fucking throw you in the Grand Canyon.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Don't put you. I'm going to put you down in my basement where all the spiders are.

[H. Foley]

I'll be good from now on, I swear to God.

[Kevin Ryan]

I went down the other day, man, this thing jumped. I had the. I had the broom ready to mash him. I had about a four foot fucking jab at him, right? Like I'm. Like I'm the white knight at a fucking. At a joust. And. And this fucking guy. Lateral, jealous. Sideways jump like a bishop. Poop. Fucking zing. And I lost him.

[H. Foley]

Oh, that's.

[Kevin Ryan]

He went onto the dark side of the basement. I ran right upstairs because that means.

[H. Foley]

He'S mad at you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, yeah?

[H. Foley]

Yeah, he's waiting for you now.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't think he'd be able to make it all the way upstairs.

[H. Foley]

No, he'd wait for you till you came down and fucking right on your face.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's my wife's problem. I ain't going back down there.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, don't put me down there in the basement.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, that's where you're going.

[H. Foley]

Come on.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, you want to. Want to run your mouth? No, put you down there in the basement.

[H. Foley]

Keep me in the kitchen.

[Kevin Ryan]

No way. Eat all the food.

[H. Foley]

What's that? Cumin? Not exactly.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, we got to wrap it up.

[H. Foley]

What a fun one. Oh, yeah, gang, we love you to death. Still some cards available. Grab a pack if you want. That's the third edition of the AYG 2025.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes, sir.

[H. Foley]

Are you Garbage card game? Grab some ticks for the shows. Gonna sell out. Yeah, we'll do the same speech every time. Grab some ticks. Come see the boys. Check out that Route 66 store. You got anything else for us? Scrambled eggs?

[Kevin Ryan]

Nah, that's it, baby. Taco omelette.

[H. Foley]

We love you, gang, and we'll see you next week.

[Kevin Ryan]

Peace.