Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Episode Summary: "Bad Breakfast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley"
Release Date: May 8, 2025

Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

1. Kevin’s Breakfast Mishaps

The episode kicks off with Kevin Ryan sharing his recent culinary adventures, specifically his attempt to prepare a hearty breakfast using ground beef. He humorously recounts the challenges of managing excess grease and experimenting with unconventional ingredients like taco seasoning in his morning scramble.

• Kevin Ryan [03:30]: "Maybe about three days ago I made some ground beef hamburger meat... It just felt not. I don't know, something."
• H. Foley [04:02]: "Take a fucking spoon and you pull it out now. Or you leave it in there like a gentleman."

Kevin details how adding taco seasoning to his breakfast led to an unusual amalgamation of dinner flavors in the morning, resulting in a less-than-appetizing experience.

2. Listener Questions: Are You Garbage?

The hosts address listener submissions that question whether certain behaviors qualify as "garbage." One notable question from Marco Rodriguez asks:

• Marco Rodriguez [09:21]: "Is it garbage to let your phone die intentionally while on a date so you don't have to pay for the Uber back home?"

Kevin and H. Foley delve into the ethics and practicality of such actions, blending humor with relatable anecdotes about financial struggles and relationship dynamics.

• H. Foley [10:04]: "You're a dirtbag maneuver in your day financially, with apps and switching from PayPal to whatever."
• Kevin Ryan [10:19]: "I remember standing on 3rd Ave... and my wife was like, 'I saw your account earlier, man.'"

3. Advertisements and Promotions

Interspersed throughout the episode are humorous yet informative promotional segments for various sponsors:

• Pesti: DIY pest control kits.

  • Kevin Ryan [17:12]: "It's like pressing a pump and spraying it around your house. Done. Bada bing."

• Lucy Goods: Nicotine pouches with added flavor capsules.

  • H. Foley [18:15]: "Lucy breakers are nicotine pouches with an extra surprise inside."

• Harry's: Affordable, high-quality razors.

  • Kevin Ryan [39:07]: "Five blade razor, weighted handle... for just six bucks, which is insane."

• LifeLock: Identity theft protection.

  • C [40:24]: "LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points every second for threats to your identity."

4. Personal Stories and Anecdotes

The hosts engage in a series of personal stories, often highlighting awkward family moments and humorous takes on everyday situations:

• Deviled Eggs Disaster:

  • Kevin Ryan [19:52]: "My dad made deviled eggs in our hotel room... That's my cock. Sorry about that."

• Family Traditions and Divorce:

  • Kevin Ryan [27:38]: "The impetus of my parents getting divorced was Disney. It was the morning of... I did something to see that."

• Awkward Parent Photos:

  • H. Foley [49:52]: "There's one of my old man that was in the cabinet above our refrigerator... he had his pants down and his ass was sticking out."

These anecdotes serve to illustrate the "garbage" moments where families and individuals reveal their less classy sides.

5. Concluding Remarks

As the episode wraps up, Kevin and H. Foley reflect on the humorous yet candid discussions about breakfast mishaps, questionable behaviors, and family stories. They encourage listeners to engage with their platform, promoting their upcoming tours and card games.

• H. Foley [64:36]: "Are you Garbage card game? Grab some tickets for the shows. Gonna sell out."

The hosts end on a light-hearted note, maintaining the show's signature blend of humor and relatability.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Kevin Ryan [03:30]: “Maybe about three days ago I made some ground beef hamburger meat... It just felt not. I don’t know, something.”
• H. Foley [09:21]: “Is it garbage to let your phone die intentionally while on a date so you don’t have to pay for the Uber back home?”
• Kevin Ryan [17:12]: “It’s like pressing a pump and spraying it around your house. Done. Bada bing.”
• H. Foley [18:15]: “Lucy breakers are nicotine pouches with an extra surprise inside.”
• Kevin Ryan [39:07]: “Five blade razor, weighted handle... for just six bucks, which is insane.”
• Kevin Ryan [27:38]: “The impetus of my parents getting divorced was Disney. It was the morning of... I did something to see that.”
• H. Foley [49:52]: “There's one of my old man that was in the cabinet above our refrigerator... he had his pants down and his ass was sticking out.”

This episode of "Are You Garbage?" continues to deliver its trademark blend of raw humor and candid conversations, making it a must-listen for fans who appreciate unapologetic comedy and relatable life stories.