Baller Moves: A Deep Dive into Hilarity and Everyday "Garbage"
In the "Baller Moves" episode of the Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast, hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley deliver their trademark blend of sharp humor, personal anecdotes, and playful banter. Released on May 22, 2025, the episode navigates through a variety of topics, from childhood memories to modern-day quirks, all while keeping listeners entertained with their trashy comedy game show vibe.
Live Tour Announcements
The episode kicks off with Kevin and H. Foley enthusiastically promoting their upcoming "Back on the Block" tour. They outline their tour schedule, covering major cities like San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, and Toronto. Their excitement is contagious as they invite listeners to join them live:
- Kevin Ryan [00:07]: "The boys are coming home. Rochester, New York, and Toronto, Canada. Get your tickets@rugarbage.com Love you. See you there."
Podcast Introduction and Premise
After the initial tour hype, the hosts formally welcome listeners to another edition of Are You Garbage? They explain the podcast's premise—determining if guests are "classy individuals or absolute trash"—setting the stage for the comedic interactions to follow.
- H. Foley [00:26]: "Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash."
Bungee Cords and Shark Tales
The conversation shifts to humorous and exaggerated stories about bungee cords and sharks. H. Foley shares his family's fear of bungee cords, leading to wild tales about potential mishaps.
- H. Foley [05:10]: "I've had this thing snap back so hard, it could rip you in half."
- Kevin Ryan [06:07]: "Can sharks be 50ft? Yes."
The banter reaches a peak when they debate the plausibility of encountering a 50-foot great white shark, highlighting their spontaneous comedic chemistry.
App-Integrated Comedy: Hall of Fame Bets and Upside Cash
Transitioning to modern quirks, the hosts introduce the Hall of Fame (HOF) app for sports betting and the Upside app for cash back on daily essentials. They seamlessly weave these promotions into their conversation, emphasizing practicality with humor.
- H. Foley [18:08]: "HOF makes parlay research smarter, faster, and data-driven. And that's what you need."
- Kevin Ryan [19:38]: "Upside users are earning hundreds of dollars a year. That's probably why they have a 4.8-star rating on the app store."
Movie Musings: 'Eat Pray Love' and Friends
A significant segment is dedicated to movie discussions, particularly focusing on Julia Roberts' "Eat Pray Love." H. Foley expresses his comedic disappointment with the film's plot, while Kevin interjects with witty observations.
- H. Foley [21:06]: "She broke up with her husband and goes off and starts banging James Franco."
- Kevin Ryan [21:31]: "My big fat Greek mother watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding and like. And I."
Their playful critique extends to other films like "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" and "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," blending personal reflections with humor.
Frogs, Crabs, and Childhood Memories
Delving into personal stories, Kevin and H. Foley share nostalgic memories about frogs and crabs from their childhoods. These anecdotes are laced with humor and genuine sentiment, offering listeners a glimpse into their backgrounds.
- Kevin Ryan [32:31]: "I'm kind of a frog guy too."
- H. Foley [50:02]: "Man, you got a lot of balls. Who the fuck tells their parents they want crabs?"
A standout moment is Kevin's heartfelt yet comedic story about bonding with his stepdad over crabs, highlighting the show's ability to blend humor with personal storytelling.
School Days and Family Dynamics
The hosts reminisce about their school experiences and family dynamics, particularly focusing on Kevin's reluctance to attend Mercersburg Academy. Their conversation touches on themes of choice, family expectations, and personal growth, all delivered with their characteristic humor.
- Kevin Ryan [45:35]: "They did a good job of, you know."
- H. Foley [54:18]: "Tart doing."
Quickfire Jokes and Banter
Throughout the episode, Kevin and H. Foley maintain a rapid-fire pace of jokes and witty remarks. From discussing heating systems in old Bravadas to critiquing stepdads, their interactions are filled with laughter-inducing lines.
- H. Foley [54:18]: "Tart doing."
- Kevin Ryan [56:05]: "You are right about the frog."
Conclusion
While interspersed with promotional segments, the core of Baller Moves revolves around the hosts' ability to find humor in everyday situations and personal stories. Their camaraderie and quick wit make the episode engaging and entertaining, embodying the essence of the Are You Garbage? podcast.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps:
- H. Foley [05:10]: "I've had this thing snap back so hard, it could rip you in half."
- Kevin Ryan [06:07]: "Can sharks be 50ft? Yes."
- H. Foley [18:08]: "HOF makes parlay research smarter, faster, and data-driven. And that's what you need."
- Kevin Ryan [19:38]: "Upside users are earning hundreds of dollars a year. That's probably why they have a 4.8-star rating on the app store."
- H. Foley [21:06]: "She broke up with her husband and goes off and starts banging James Franco."
- Kevin Ryan [32:31]: "I'm kind of a frog guy too."
- H. Foley [54:18]: "Tart doing."
- Kevin Ryan [56:05]: "You are right about the frog."
Final Thoughts
Baller Moves exemplifies what fans love about Are You Garbage?—a mix of relatable humor, candid personal stories, and the dynamic interplay between hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Whether they're dissecting everyday habits or sharing funny childhood tales, the episode delivers laughs while maintaining its core theme of identifying the "garbage" in everyone.