Christina P!

Summary

Podcast Episode Summary: Title: Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Host: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Guest: Christina P!
Release Date: February 17, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of "Are You Garbage?," hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley welcome their special guest, Christina P!, a renowned stand-up comedian, podcaster, writer, producer, and small business owner. The show's unique premise tests whether guests and comedians alike embody "garbage" traits, blending humor with candid conversations about personal lives and challenges.

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Guest Background and Early Life

Christina P! opens up about her tumultuous upbringing, providing listeners with a deep dive into her family history and the events that shaped her comedic voice.

Family Origins and Immigration

Christina's parents fled Communist Hungary in 1969, enduring harrowing escapes and years of hardship before resettling in Canada. Her mother, a former model from Hungary, and her father, a crafty individual with a background in the military and machinery, established a life in Windsor, Ontario.

"My parents escaped from Communist Hungary in 1969... They finally escaped to Italy in Trieste, and they are in a camp for a year, like a refugee camp." [11:10]

After 14 years, when Christina was four, the family moved to California, where her father started a successful forklift business in the San Fernando Valley.

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Challenges and Family Dynamics

Christina candidly discusses the instability at home, highlighting her parents' divorce and the introduction of her stepfather, an Indian man with a criminal background.

Stepfather's Criminal Activities

Her stepfather, Subash, is portrayed as a "criminal genius," adept at exploiting loopholes to amass wealth through dubious means. Christina recounts various anecdotes illustrating his ruthless nature and the chaos he brought into their lives.

"He would marry blonde ladies, take their credit and establish businesses, make millions and millions of dollars, not pay taxes, file bankruptcy and do it again." [34:03]

Despite his criminal endeavors, Christina acknowledges the positive influence he had on her comedic aspirations, sharing memories of watching comedy together and learning humor as a coping mechanism.

Personal Struggles and Education

Growing up amidst such chaos, Christina struggled academically and emotionally. She describes her deteriorating performance in school due to her tumultuous home life, leading to her eventual transfer to Catholic school, which provided a structured environment that helped her regain her academic standing.

"By ninth grade, I start to realize that, like, my home life is weird, that something's up. Like, my mom's crazy, my dad's crazy... I get really depressed, and I just, like, stop going to school." [50:07]

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Path to Comedy and Personal Growth

Christina credits her challenging upbringing with fueling her passion for comedy, using humor as a tool to navigate and overcome her personal hardships.

Influence of the Pentland Family

A pivotal moment in Christina's life was her friendship with Jennifer Pentland and her father, Bill Pentland, during her time at Catholic school. Their support and shared love for comedy provided Christina with the encouragement needed to pursue a career in stand-up.

"I make friends with Jennifer Pentland and Pajicki. She's got access to money. No one's watching that either. They have stuff in their living room... and I credit them for saving my life." [53:28]

College Years and Continued Struggles

At the University of San Francisco, Christina faced academic probation and struggled to balance her studies with the ongoing chaos at home. Despite these challenges, she managed to improve her grades and eventually pursue higher education, reinforcing her resilience and determination.

"I couldn't do it. My home life is something's up here," [51:12]

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Current Life and Reflections

In the latter part of the episode, Christina reflects on her journey, discussing her success in the comedy world, her business ventures, and how she continues to embrace her "garbage" persona with pride.

Business Ventures and Personal Style

Christina shares insights into her small business endeavors, including her lipstick line, and discusses her unique sense of style, which she attributes to her Eastern European heritage and her family's influence.

"I just want a Volkswagen bus. I've wanted one for my home. I'm very maniacal about my dental hygiene." [62:43]

Embracing the "Garbage" Identity

True to the show's theme, Christina embraces her self-proclaimed status as "garbage," humorously detailing her quirks and offbeat habits. She highlights how her unconventional background has contributed to her distinct comedic voice and success.

"We're America's nightmare. We're white trash with money... Money doesn't change you, bro. It just makes you who you are." [60:27]

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Notable Quotes

• Christina P!:

  • "My parents escaped from Communist Hungary in 1969... They finally escaped to Italy in Trieste, and they are in a camp for a year, like a refugee camp." [11:10]
  • "He would marry blonde ladies, take their credit and establish businesses, make millions and millions of dollars, not pay taxes, file bankruptcy and do it again." [34:03]
  • "By ninth grade, I start to realize that, like, my home life is weird, that something's up. Like, my mom's crazy, my dad's crazy... I get really depressed, and I just, like, stop going to school." [50:07]
  • "We're America's nightmare. We're white trash with money... Money doesn't change you, bro. It just makes you who you are." [60:27]

• Kevin Ryan:

  • "You're the queen. I think a new queen has been crowned." [82:41]

• H. Foley:

  • "What an unbelievable life. What an unbelievable tale. Look where you are now. It's absolutely insane. You are the absolute best and we love you." [91:07]

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Conclusion

The episode offers an unfiltered look into Christina P!'s life, blending humor with poignant reflections on her challenging upbringing and the resilience that propelled her into the comedic spotlight. Through candid storytelling and laughter, Christina demonstrates that embracing one's "garbage" can lead to profound personal growth and success.

Listeners are left with a deeper understanding of the complexities behind Christina P!'s humor and a recognition of the strength it takes to transform personal adversity into comedic gold.

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Note: Advertisements and promotional segments were omitted from this summary to maintain focus on the core content of the episode.

Transcript

[H. Foley]

Kevin, you see this? We got this Route 66 special dropping.

[Kevin Ryan]

You ain't lying, big man. We got the live shows from every city on the tour, plus the boys on the bus seeing this great country of ours. It's dropping February 25th on our YouTube page. Make sure you tune in to the live premieres.

[H. Foley]

Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or. Or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is are you garbage? Oh, yeah. It's a little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that out they grow to be classy. Yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

Trash, trash, trash.

[H. Foley]

I'm your host, H. Foley. Coming at you on a beautiful day. We're down here in Tejas, Texas, baby. Austin, Tulsa, hoodie South. She's out doing a little speculating.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Want to be a landman down here? All right, Billy Bob Thornton. We're down here in Austin, Texas. Mike coast is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of are you garbage? He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for kj Kevin. James Ryan, everybody.

[Kevin Ryan]

What up, everybody? Thanks for tuning in as always. Please make sure you review subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. And now Spotify Shout out to it video on Spotify. The Specials drop in February 25th. Make sure you subscribe to the YouTube page. The whole nine yards. We love you.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, we love you. And we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time. She is a very funny, very successful stand up comedian, podcaster, writer, producer, and small business owner. And you might have seen her, but not limited to you got last comic standing, you got Chelsea Layton.

[Christina P]

Oh, my God.

[H. Foley]

World's dumbest. The degenerates.

[Christina P]

Those are deep cuts.

[H. Foley]

Lights out with David Spade. Let's not forget 2019's Countdown. How you doing? Oscar Snub right there. All right. Is it cake? Wtf? The Comedy Store? She has not one, but two amazing specials streaming on Netflix, Mother Inferior and mom jeans. And of course, she is the co host of your mom's house and the co owner and operator of the industry titan YMH Studios. But the big question buddy's mind today, is she garbage? First guest to ever come in here straight from the er. I mean, that's a First with stitches, ladies and gentlemen. Give it up for Christina P, Everybody.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes.

[Christina P]

Thank you.

[H. Foley]

Let's go.

[Christina P]

Thank you.

[H. Foley]

Talk about the duality of man. Look at that. The rock on the finger with the ACE bandage wrapped around it.

[Christina P]

I know.

[H. Foley]

And what happened?

[Christina P]

Well, first of all, I want to. I'm so excited to be here.

[H. Foley]

Thank you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Thank you.

[Christina P]

My husband has told me forever to come on this show and do it because he is sure that I will be the garbage kid.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're going to be up there. Most requested guests. And it's not even possible.

[Christina P]

The hand. Okay, so I. We live in Texas. There's snakes in the backyard. This morning I found a copperhead and.

[H. Foley]

I was like, poisonous snake?

[Christina P]

Yes.

[H. Foley]

We're not talking about a gardener snake or something like that.

[Christina P]

No.

[H. Foley]

And copperheads in the backyard.

[Christina P]

They're everywhere.

[H. Foley]

What are you doing back there?

[Christina P]

Well, you play with the kids in the morning before school.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got movies. This is nuts.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

And so crazy.

[Christina P]

They don't leave. So what I do is I pick them up, I milk them, which I learned to do in Australia when I did Road rules in the 90s.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Christina P]

And I go to.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, you casually say that. What does that look like? And what the. You're like. Nobody's like, oh, yeah, you're just milking copperheads that you find.

[H. Foley]

That's crazy.

[Christina P]

Yeah. So I pick it up and you get a. A glass and you just. You pop it onto the edge of the glass and the.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like Steve Irwin would do.

[Christina P]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I go to do it. I go to grab its neck because I've secured it. Because you put like a. A rod and you secure the. The head. I pick it up and it got me. It got me right there.

[H. Foley]

You got bit.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was told you got cut.

[Christina P]

No, no, no.

[H. Foley]

You have an active snake bite right now.

[Christina P]

Yeah, of course.

[H. Foley]

Did you get anti venom or whatever?

[Christina P]

Yes. And it's going to make me a little sleepy, so if I drift off.

[H. Foley]

Wait, you're fucking with this, right? You sprained your hand at the gym?

[Christina P]

Of course I'm fucking okay.

[H. Foley]

You son of a. Jesus Christ, man. I believe that. You got to be kidding. I believe that 100%. There are snakes and spiders down here. That's why you'll never. My fat ass.

[Christina P]

No, I'll tell you what really happened. Okay. So my kids.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, is that yoga?

[Christina P]

Yeah. No, it's kind of a garbagey, garbagey thing. So.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Christina P]

My two sons play with knives all the time.

[Kevin Ryan]

What are they in the circus? I mean, aren't they like 8 and 5. That's.

[Christina P]

I mean, they're 9 and 6. Love playing with knives. And last night my older boy was cutting some box open with a knife and I was like, give that to me, Ellis. And I go to grab the knife and he just jerks it back and then it just slices my hand open.

[H. Foley]

So instead of getting bit by a cottonmouth, you were stabbed by your son?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know what's worse.

[H. Foley]

He got into a night fight with a night.

[Kevin Ryan]

You were trying to disarm a nine year old.

[H. Foley]

Wait, hold on a second. Yeah, they like to play with knives, but you don't.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like, do you buy them knives or are they like kitchen knives?

[H. Foley]

Buy them knives.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know what these people are doing.

[H. Foley]

Wait, you just walk in and catch them? Like, what are you doing?

[Christina P]

So we have knives in our kitchen, like cutting normal cut. Yeah, it's like. Actually the. They're like the Cutco ones, the ones that they sell door to door, which I love.

[Kevin Ryan]

The pyramid scheme ones.

[Christina P]

Those are the best.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was one of. That was one of the first AYG questions. Have you ever tried to sell Cutco knives, which a lot of people have done?

[Christina P]

No, but I was this close to selling Tupperware, cuz I went to a Tupperware party and I was like, this stuff's really good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Practically sells itself.

[Christina P]

Maybe like, oh, two. When.

[H. Foley]

I remember when Avon was banging.

[Christina P]

Of course.

[H. Foley]

Mom sold Avon. Skin so Soft. Remember Skin so Soft. That kept everything.

[Christina P]

Did your mom sell a.

[H. Foley]

She didn't, but she was a big purchaser of Skin so Soft. Used as an insect.

[Kevin Ryan]

Bug spray. We used to use it as bug spray in Philadelphia. For some reason, it had that funk to it.

[H. Foley]

I don't know what it was. Mosquitoes hated it.

[Kevin Ryan]

A lot of microplastics. It wasn't good.

[Christina P]

No, Nothing was good in the 80s.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[Christina P]

Or the 90s.

[H. Foley]

Okay, so go ahead.

[Christina P]

Okay. So anyway, just, you know, just knives and they. I.

[H. Foley]

This is last night.

[Christina P]

This is last night. Ellis, can you open up this Amazon box? Okay, Mom, I'll do it. And instead of grabbing scissors, whatever, he just grabs a kitchen knife. And I'm like, no, no, no, not that one, bro. And I go to grab it and he, you know, just wants the knife and it.

[H. Foley]

How bad of a slice? Because you just got out of the ER right now, so you wrote it out for the night. Oh, man, you are trash. You got cash. What are you doing?

[Christina P]

Because I'm. See, this is what I was. I want to talk to you guys about there's two types of trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

These problems are above our pay grade.

[H. Foley]

This isn't therapy.

[Christina P]

I think there's like, I got an.

[H. Foley]

Adderall upstairs if you want to. That's the best we could do for you.

[Christina P]

There's like, American trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

I feel. I feel like this is date. This is. Because this isn't our typical set. I feel like we're sitting down with a murderer. Like, we're over here, she's over there with an active wound. And we're like, so where was the knife when you entered the room?

[H. Foley]

Christina, what are you doing here?

[Christina P]

What's the thing? But I'm. I'm Euro trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes. Which we want to get into.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, we want to get into this.

[Christina P]

But this is different because in my mind. In my mind, if I have cuts and just bleeding all night, which it was. Bleeding all night.

[H. Foley]

Bleeding all night.

[Christina P]

All night. It was. It was red and wet. And I was like, I can wait. I can. I got to go to this podcast tomorrow, you guys. I've been looking forward to it. I literally was like, I'll just wait until after the party.

[H. Foley]

What's he say? What does Tom say?

[Christina P]

He's not home. He's. He's working. He's in Boston.

[H. Foley]

Because he would have been go to the ER right now.

[Christina P]

I would assume that's what normal, normal people would have done who have self care or I.D. like, I don't have that. What's that kid say?

[H. Foley]

Sorry.

[Christina P]

He know. He's devastated.

[Kevin Ryan]

He was getting his alibi straight. I was at the bar all night. I don't know what.

[H. Foley]

She's talking mouth shut.

[Kevin Ryan]

Snitches get stitches.

[H. Foley]

Ma flips his blade. Well, for sure.

[Christina P]

Yeah. No, so. So, yeah. So I tough it out because in my mind, this is what you do. I numbed crybaby go to hospital. I can wait. And I'll wait and see.

[H. Foley]

Wrap it up.

[Christina P]

I wrapped it up.

[H. Foley]

What is your home method of wrapping something up? I'm assuming it's some type of paper towel, hand towel rag.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's some adhesive involved, of course.

[H. Foley]

Iodine.

[Christina P]

Yeah. I just squirted some Neosporin on it because it creates, like a gel.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Christina P]

And then I just put like four band aids, like, regular size. And then they just bled through. Like, I woke up trying to get.

[H. Foley]

Creative with the band aids. Those never. When you're doing the four one way.

[Kevin Ryan]

Three the other, you're reinforcing them and stuff. You know, you need medical attention. That's what you need. Not more band.

[Christina P]

It's.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's never more band aids.

[H. Foley]

You got to the er who put these six Garfield band aids on you?

[Christina P]

But that's my stupid. My stupid Pollock brain is like, I'll just put on like six band aids. I'll be fine.

[H. Foley]

You know what you needed was a butterfly.

[Kevin Ryan]

Butterfly stick.

[H. Foley]

Remember that in the day, your mom would break out a butterfly on you? Yeah, she was like a cardiac surgeon doing that.

[Christina P]

No, we didn't have Band aid is weakness. That's what I'm telling you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did you have health insurance growing up? I could.

[Christina P]

I'm such a good question.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I've never. In 400 episodes, I've never had to ask it, but I feel like it.

[H. Foley]

Do you have health insurance now? Let's start there.

[Christina P]

Now I have money, so. Yeah, but do.

[H. Foley]

You're at the ER in a fake name.

[Christina P]

But, like, do you even remember going to the dentist for, like, preventative?

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

No. Oh, no. We were. We were. It was like a collision. It was like. We got a car. You had to go.

[H. Foley]

You went and got your teeth cleaned every year with the bubble gum fluoride.

[Christina P]

You did.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was feeling cav. We were mainly a cavity. I remember having so many cavities. One time my mom yelled at me when I got in the car. She goes, they're gonna take you away. I like, I had, like, 13 cavities at 8 years old.

[Christina P]

They're gonna take you away.

[H. Foley]

Taking you away for bad teeth. That's a nice part of town.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. The dentist house. I don't know, dude. My teeth were falling out of my head. It was bad.

[Christina P]

That's what I think, too. Like, I don't remember because I take my kids preventatively and now they put stuff in there so that they don't get molar cavity. Like, there's all these things. And I'm called fluoride, right?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Like, we didn't do that until you knocked a tooth out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really?

[Christina P]

Oh, my God.

[H. Foley]

That's crazy. We're about the same age. You weren't getting the bubble gum fluoride something out of the treasure chest.

[Christina P]

I'm telling you, Euro trash, we didn't even know about that. This, like, I. We didn't even know. My parents didn't know, like, what Star wars the movie was.

[H. Foley]

All right, let's. Let's take it back before we go, though. How many stitches do you have?

[Christina P]

Okay, so they actually didn't need to sew. They used sterry strip. So there's like four.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Christina P]

There's four thing. Gluing It's. They're. They glue them together. They're gluing my skin together. And then I just keep this on.

[H. Foley]

And they gave you a little novocaine when they did it.

[Christina P]

Yeah, lidocaine. They scrape.

[H. Foley]

Anything else for later to give you.

[Christina P]

Dude, I wish.

[Kevin Ryan]

A couple of Zanny bars or something. A couple of tombstones.

[Christina P]

Take the edge off this close to asking. And I was like, I look like a junkie wrote your script for a.

[H. Foley]

Percocet and a White Claw. Be all right. All right, let's go back. Give us the origin story up the middle. Mom's dads, brothers, sisters grew up, all that kind of.

[Kevin Ryan]

Because I saw a fact I wasn't aware of today, where you were born.

[Christina P]

Okay, so this is the cool part. So parents escaped from Communist Hungary in 1969. So they grow up just horrific deprivation. The communists took over the rest.

[H. Foley]

How'd they get out?

[Christina P]

Literally on foot through Yugoslav and Yugoslavian border. They get caught, they get thrown back to Hungary. They get on a train. They get through. They. They finally escape to Italy in Trieste, and they are in a. A camp for a year, like a refugee camp. I know. It's a horrible story.

[H. Foley]

What?

[Christina P]

It's bananas. And finally, the Catholic Church sponsors them.

[Kevin Ryan]

I wouldn't send you to the dentist either. What the. Your tooth hurts. Suck my dick.

[Christina P]

Exactly.

[Kevin Ryan]

Y.

[Christina P]

Exactly. So they're so tough. And then. So we got. We went to Canada, and then I was born in Windsor, Ontario.

[Kevin Ryan]

So they.

[H. Foley]

Hold on. They get to Canada, then they start a new life.

[Christina P]

They start a new life. It takes about 14 years before I come around.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Christina P]

So they're just trying to be. You know that. My father always tells me, like, I let. We landed in Canada, and I was blown away. I was so excited. I could buy a hot dog and a Coca Cola for $5. And he says, I saw a black guy with a hat with a feather and big cars, and I knew this is where I always belonged.

[H. Foley]

My man. Yeah, Give me high four. Okay. Good to see you. That's awesome. That's about appreciating the small things.

[Christina P]

Yes.

[H. Foley]

A fucking refugee camp in Italy.

[Christina P]

Getting out of.

[H. Foley]

Fucking communist. Fucking. The Soviet.

[Christina P]

The Russian. Yes, exactly.

[H. Foley]

That's old school.

[Christina P]

Very old school. Very tough.

[H. Foley]

Holy.

[Christina P]

Very tough people who raised me. And I. This is why I. You know, I am. I think I'm a little more obtuse to average human things. We just didn't. Who.

[Kevin Ryan]

It didn't register. None of that stuff.

[Christina P]

It doesn't register to me. Like, you should do this or that you should.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Christina P]

I just don't see it because I'm like, why? You see your crybaby pussy? Like, what? Just. So anyway, I'm born in Windsor, Ontario, Canada, which is across from Detroit. It's probably the grossest part of Canada. It's, it is the garbage part of Canada. Just to put it in perspective, Canadians. So many Canadians die every year because they get hammered and try to swim across Lake Ontario.

[H. Foley]

Really? To Detroit? Yeah, like just for fun, for the good life, baby.

[Christina P]

Detroit.

[H. Foley]

See it right there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Let's talk about refugees.

[H. Foley]

What does your mom and dad do? What'd your dad do by trade? What'd he do for a living?

[Christina P]

So my God, he's so crafty. So when he was in Hungary, they forced him to go into the military, the Russians. And he learned how to fix cars and machinery. So when he came to Canada, he learned how to do forklifts.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Christina P]

And then when we came to the US in 1980, when I was four, he started a forklift business in the San Fernando Valley.

[H. Foley]

Started a business.

[Christina P]

A business.

[Kevin Ryan]

So he made enough money to start a small business.

[Christina P]

He did incredibly well and became like the biggest forklift business in the San Fernando Valley.

[H. Foley]

What? Wait, so Ontario, you're four, you moved to Cali?

[Christina P]

Correct.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Christina P]

And my parents divorced because he was like, I made it to California. Time to start banging.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really?

[Christina P]

After going through all that with my. Yeah, well, my mother, so my mother was schizophrenic and crazy. So he was like, I gotta go. And yeah, but he.

[Kevin Ryan]

California girls, huh?

[H. Foley]

I just picture riding away on his forklift.

[Christina P]

But he always lived nearby and they split custody.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, so then you stayed primarily with Mom?

[Christina P]

Primarily with mom, brothers and sisters? No, until child 12. My mother remarries to an Indian guy who's a criminal.

[Kevin Ryan]

What? What?

[Christina P]

It's so like I should write who.

[Kevin Ryan]

Remarries an Indian guy? I've never heard that. I've never heard that. My mom remarried an Indian guy. I mean that's, that's wild.

[Christina P]

But what's exciting is that that's a whole new layer of garbage.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Christina P]

Cuz they like, he liked, for instance, he would make samosas for me.

[H. Foley]

That ain't bad.

[Kevin Ryan]

Don't get, Never mind. I, I, I wish my mom remarried.

[H. Foley]

I didn't have one of those till like two years ago.

[Kevin Ryan]

Man, they're great. Chutney or something.

[Christina P]

But instead of regular beef, he would use the Taco Bell seasoning.

[H. Foley]

That's probably not that bad.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, that's pretty good.

[H. Foley]

That's all right. It's so that's like a cheesesteak egg roll. Basically.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

We could be doing more with those samosa wraps. We really could.

[Christina P]

I know, I know.

[H. Foley]

Stuff were on the table.

[Christina P]

They really.

[H. Foley]

Chicken samosa.

[Kevin Ryan]

Marry an Indian guy, get this thing started. Small business.

[H. Foley]

Wait, hold on. So you move four years old, you guys moved to California. Your dad starts the business. How long till the business is, like when you say. He said he was the biggest in the area.

[Christina P]

So, like, we're. We're middle class, comfortable.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Mom's not working.

[Christina P]

No, mom is working. Mommy is working as a. As a account receptionist. So we're. I'm living in like a. Primarily, like a two bedroom apartment in Reseda. Like Tarzana. The same one Brody Stevens grew up in. As we always talked about, it was primarily single mothers and immigrants and like Israelis and Persians once they.

[Kevin Ryan]

Once they split. That's where your mom went.

[Christina P]

Correct.

[Kevin Ryan]

So what was your dad's house like?

[Christina P]

It was a lot. It was better. Yeah, it was like this, like. No, not like. This is nice. It was just a nice middle class Canoga Park.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Christina P]

Valley dwelling.

[H. Foley]

Okay, so he's doing well. He's still taking care of you guys. He's taking care of your mom. He just wants to do his own thing. Yeah, he's involved in your life.

[Christina P]

Exactly.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha. Okay.

[Christina P]

Yeah. But then I go to live with him because my mom's crazy. She's schizo, and she would kick me out and go live with him. And that's when the trashy. Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

When you're with your dad.

[Christina P]

Yo. Okay, He's a single Eastern European guy, so it's paper plates, plastic forks. I'm eating hot dogs for dinner at Cupid's in the Valley. What? Shout out 818 Van Nuys I should slap. And I still order it.

[H. Foley]

Shouting out area coats.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not even a good one. 818. I don't know enough. I know that's not the good one.

[H. Foley]

Wait, the Indian guys? The Indian guys in the picture now?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, he's out again.

[Christina P]

He comes in when I'm like 13.

[H. Foley]

Okay. How old are you right now? How old are you now?

[Christina P]

This is like 8. 8. Third grade, I go to live with my dad.

[Kevin Ryan]

Single dad. Single dad making some cash.

[H. Foley]

Same school. You got to change schools.

[Christina P]

Same school.

[H. Foley]

Okay, so no friction there.

[Christina P]

No, same school. But that's a level of like. Like I. I remember watching Pippi Longstocking and she cuts her spaghetti with scissors. Like, I was doing that and thinking it was fun and eating Chef Boyardee out of cans.

[H. Foley]

Dressing like Punky Brewster right now.

[Christina P]

Oh, for sure. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Shout out to Punky.

[Kevin Ryan]

Were you left to make your own food? Most of it. Like, is he. Is he coming home from the forklift factory and cooking and what kind of.

[H. Foley]

So we're talking camp. Let's talk about Tushy, baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to Tushy.

[H. Foley]

Gang. What are you doing? Still wiping your ass like a caveman? Do yourself a favor. Get the world's number one bidet. I'm talking about Tushy. You'll have an asshole. Clean as a whistle.

[Kevin Ryan]

Big man ain't lying. They're easy to install. They were nice enough to send them to us. We got them installed out there at.

[H. Foley]

Hoodies can eat off this thing, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

You sit down and I tell you, it's. It's like a little slice of heaven, gang. Let me tell you something.

[H. Foley]

Foreplay.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's. You didn't. It's one of those things where you're like, I didn't know I was walking around like a proper. The homeless person.

[H. Foley]

Toilet paper. It sticks to your ass and all that stuff. That's how you get what we call in the business dingleberries.

[Kevin Ryan]

A couple of berry dingers. You're ruin a pair of underwear. Not with tushy, gang. And there's still time to get your ass right for your life. For a limited time, our listeners get 10% off their first bidet order. When you use the code, you know it. Garbage at checkout. That's 10% off your first bidet [e-mail] with the promo code. Garbage. Stop pooping like a homeless person and use it. Use a gosh darn bidet. Gang.

[H. Foley]

Well copyrighted.

[Kevin Ryan]

Are you garbage one time. HelloTushy.com with promo code Garbage. Do it.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, kid. Let's talk about Lucy, baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to Lucy.

[H. Foley]

Let's talk about 100% pure nicotine. No tobacco. Let's talk about the flavor capsule inside for a little bit extra flavor hydration. Gang, do yourself a. A favor. Sign up for a subscription for Lucy. Have it sent right to your door.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, the good folks at Lucy were kind and a good folk. First of all, let's first things first. Good folks over there kind enough to send us some of you know their products. And I gotta tell you, they're going through the office like hotcakes. They're fantastic. It's a perfect, perfect vehicle for nicotine. Never the tobacco. Tobacco. Listen, I don't know if you guys heard the results.

[H. Foley]

The fucking 90s Lucy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Breakers are the perfect nicotine pouches. With a little extra surprise. And here's the the Turkey gang. Let's level up your nicotine routine with Lucy. Go to Lucy Co Garbage and use the promo code garbage to get 20% off your first order. That ain't nothing to shake a stick at. Lucy has a 30 day refund policy. If you change your mind one more time, go to Lucy Co Garbage. Use the promo code garbage. And here comes the fine print gang. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age and every order is age verified. Warning. This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. So you're just like a latchkey kid kind of.

[H. Foley]

And he's got a little bit of cash. He's single, went through a lot. This is 80s.

[Christina P]

Yes.

[H. Foley]

Got an accent.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I would assume he's probably doing pretty well with the ladies.

[Christina P]

Slaying pussy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Are they coming in and out? Like. Are women entering your life and cycling through.

[Christina P]

That's her. Yes. To the point where I.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's traumatized. We're laughing.

[Christina P]

How traumatized?

[Kevin Ryan]

For sure. Traumatized you.

[Christina P]

It's the worst because I. I would mix up their names. So I'm getting in trouble for my dad.

[H. Foley]

No shit. He's juggling. He's got a couple of broad multiple.

[Christina P]

I'm calling Debbie, Susan and Susan Debbie. And then who the fuck is Nancy?

[Kevin Ryan]

And this is Christina. She likes hot dog. As he walks upstairs. It's.

[Christina P]

Yeah, it's just.

[H. Foley]

She like hot dog.

[Christina P]

I'm just left to raise myself. Really.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Christina P]

But I. But again, single, that's.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, that's most divorced family. That's most divorced.

[Christina P]

It is.

[H. Foley]

But there's food in the house. All that kind of stuff. He's rolling it.

[Kevin Ryan]

It didn't sound great. She's talking hot dogs and cold Chef Boyardee.

[Christina P]

Like it's like Hungarian. Like there's. Yeah, there's hot dogs in the freezer. I can eat that. There's Chef Boyardee in the cans, which is great. Budget gourmet. I lived on the budget gourmet.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's that? A brand?

[Christina P]

Oh, yeah. They were frozen. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Frozen dinners.

[Christina P]

And to this day, so good.

[H. Foley]

There was a wave. There was the Hungry man, the Swansons. And then around the mid-80s, they started leaning into the healthier options. Lean Cuisine.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know my way around pretty good.

[H. Foley]

You know your way around a Lean Cuisine Chicken Alfredo, I would assume, of course.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wow.

[Christina P]

That shit's delicious. And I would still eat it to this day. And the French bread pizza.

[Kevin Ryan]

Stouffer's Stouffer's.

[Christina P]

Of course.

[Kevin Ryan]

I heard that. About three years.

[H. Foley]

This podcast is built on Stouffer's French bread pizza.

[Christina P]

Can we talk about why it's so.

[Kevin Ryan]

I thought I was European the first time I had that. I was like, what in the world? I don't have a passport. How did I get there?

[H. Foley]

This followed up with an International Delights. Delicious.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that stuff. That's.

[Christina P]

Oh, you mean the coffee.

[H. Foley]

Remember the coffee was in that tin.

[Christina P]

I thought it was.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I was fancy.

[Christina P]

I. You. Yeah, you. International Foods.

[H. Foley]

International Foods.

[Christina P]

Remember the name of the waiter? Jean Luc. Do you remember the commercial?

[H. Foley]

That's pretty good. Yeah, I know. Like, the way they lit those commercials back then was so. So, like, cinematic. It was the spotlight coming down. Oh, yeah, International Foods.

[Christina P]

But that's what. But I thought I was posh. I didn't know that we were garbage. I thought, like, we can afford Budget Gourmet. I can.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, budget's in the name.

[H. Foley]

Holy shit.

[Christina P]

But I love a French bread pizza.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's the best. It's the best.

[Christina P]

The sweetness of the sauce.

[Kevin Ryan]

Let's get some. What are we doing?

[Christina P]

I know.

[H. Foley]

We had it at the Super Bowl. We stayed in. Watch the Super Bowl. I threw a couple of those in the oven and then cut them up into fours.

[Christina P]

Oh, wow. Mama Celeste supreme pizza. I felt like I was a gazillionaire.

[H. Foley]

So you would tell him what you wanted?

[Christina P]

I would get it at the store.

[H. Foley]

You were shopping yourself?

[Christina P]

No, no, he. We go to the grocery store, and he would just let me buy whatever the heck I wanted.

[Kevin Ryan]

What grocery store was that?

[Christina P]

Albertsons.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a. That's a fair. That's a good establishment.

[Christina P]

Yeah. Or Alpha Beta doesn't exist, but he dated one of the checkout girls, Nancy. And my man still alive.

[Kevin Ryan]

You can close ass. If you can do it in a. In a supermarket transaction, you can close. That's why. That's. There's a 1% of guys can. That's a 90 second transaction.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Plus, he's got you right there. Well, that's coming up.

[H. Foley]

12 boxes of sugary cereal to think of, like.

[Christina P]

But that's the thing. I was bait because people, I was cute.

[Kevin Ryan]

Cute girl. Oh, look at her.

[Christina P]

And what a good dad.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wow.

[Christina P]

This guy, like, takes care of his kid and, like, you know, I mean.

[H. Foley]

In the 80s, a single dad. That's pretty. He's goddamn devastating.

[Kevin Ryan]

Her mother died. It was tragic. He's lying.

[Christina P]

And milk. That milk in her.

[H. Foley]

Just got back from Vietnam. It's 1987. What are you talking about. Okay. All right. So he takes you to the store.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is a. This is a. This is a story.

[H. Foley]

I would have to assume that there is an advantage being a kid of your dad not really being aware or not. Not. Not giving a. But, like, I assume you were able to get whatever cereal you wanted.

[Christina P]

Anything I wanted, really. And I could dress however I wanted, which nowadays they let children do. Like, you go, I pick up my kid from school, and, like, there's girls wearing ballerina skirts. Whereas I did that in the 80s. And I would get talking to. Yeah, I would dress like Madonna because we go, oh. I would get my clothes at the swap meet because he loved the Valley Indoor swap Meet. And I thought I was so cool because I could wear, like, my swap meet outfit and with those cool kung fu slippers. Do you remember those white shoes that. The Karate Kid when that movie came out? They're, like, white cloth shoes with, like, the hard plastic bottoms. They're ninja shoes.

[H. Foley]

You're wearing bowling shoes to school? Is that what you're telling us?

[Christina P]

I wish.

[H. Foley]

That's crazy. Did you go through a wrestling shoes phase?

[Christina P]

What's the.

[H. Foley]

What are, like, wrestling. Wrestling shoes?

[Christina P]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Girls go through those.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, a couple. A couple. A couple of. That was, like, a little bit of a thing.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're lesbians.

[Christina P]

Yeah. I was gonna say, not this kind.

[H. Foley]

Kung fu shoes.

[Christina P]

But I could buy whatever I want. Yeah. I could eat whatever I want. It was like Pippi Long. So I go to bed. Like, I don't even remember having a bedtime. I don't. Brushing my teeth. I don't remember.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like, kind of feral. You're just doing whatever you wanted 1,000%. Was you stealing? I feel like you were stealing.

[Christina P]

I did start.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Things on fire a lot. Did you like to burn frogs, Christina?

[Christina P]

I loved fire. And my dad would go to sleep, and I would just play with the fire flames.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dan.

[H. Foley]

Where?

[Christina P]

In his house.

[H. Foley]

Like, fireplace.

[Christina P]

Yeah, we had a fireplace. And he'd go to sleep, and I would just stay up and, like, throw shit in the fire.

[H. Foley]

I know I would have sent you away if I came down in the middle of the night. You were sitting there worshiping fire. No, thank you. Any vacations? Would you guys go anywhere?

[Christina P]

Yes. So that's a cool part of my parents is, I would say, because they were Europeans, that we traveled very extensively. And I had a really nice education, like, now that I think about it. Okay. So my dad would take me to Club Med with him.

[H. Foley]

That's not education.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's not Educational and swinging. That's what that is. That's one step below hedonism. It's crazy, I know.

[Christina P]

And I didn't realize it until later.

[H. Foley]

Never do shots before dinner. Okay?

[Christina P]

That's what he would tell me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

He's like, always eat before you drink. This way you can drink without throwing up. And I was like, okay, dad, these.

[H. Foley]

Broads will never know what hit them. Wait, hold on. Would you?

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Did you ever go back to Europe as a vacation?

[Kevin Ryan]

You're like, yeah, as well. Travel? We did Key West, a couple Carnival cruises.

[Christina P]

Martinique. No. So. So we did go to Club Meds in, like, Mexico every. I go to Mexico a lot. Every summer with my dad.

[H. Foley]

He probably loved that for some reason. I love that he was living like that, going through all that. Think of how much he appreciated that. He had tight little bathing suit. Bunch of hot broads down at Club Med, man, Hairy ass chest. I assume.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, while she's, like, fending for her. So you're like, this dude's crushing A's. He's traveling. Meanwhile, she's like.

[H. Foley]

You're traveling to the ice machine at a hotel.

[Kevin Ryan]

She has a pyromania problem developing. She's stealing. She's clearly acting.

[H. Foley]

He's living his life.

[Kevin Ryan]

The Indian guy. Who knows where he is.

[H. Foley]

Your dad took you to club, which.

[Christina P]

So I did research. It. It did start off as a French sex resort, essentially. And I didn't realize that. I just thought it was, like, this fun.

[H. Foley]

It wasn't a Dave and Busters, I.

[Christina P]

Can tell you that. Like, French. It was all in French. And I got to hang out with other, like. Like European.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Other up.

[Christina P]

Kids. And we'd run around the Village. So they call them the Village. And I. I don't know how, by the grace of God. Like, I did not get kidnapped or abducted, molested. So, like, I don't. I think I was, like. My mother was so vigilant about, like, you don't talk to anybody. Everybody's out to get you. So I was very, like. I don't know, sturdy, you know?

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, that's. I mean, when you have to learn to fend for yourself, it's like. Like, you grow up, you have your heads on a swivel of, like, hyper.

[Christina P]

Vigilance is what my therapist. Did you guys have that, too? Are you guys as traumatized as me?

[H. Foley]

Yeah, but for.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, I wasn't at Club Med with my dad, but more psychological.

[Christina P]

Oh, okay. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Well, it gets worse. So then he would take me to bars and Nightclubs with him in the States when I'm in third grade. Like on third grade school nights? Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Holy.

[Christina P]

Here's school.

[H. Foley]

Wait, school nights?

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

This guy cares about American education system.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You nuts?

[H. Foley]

How were your grades? Were you a good student?

[Christina P]

No. How can you be when.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, there's no home, there's no stat, you know, he's not like, did you do your homework, Christina? You know what I mean?

[Christina P]

I said, even know what that is? Are you crazy?

[H. Foley]

But I love build home in one night. That's crazy.

[Christina P]

So we would go.

[H. Foley]

I'm done with the accent.

[Christina P]

We would go to this bar in the Valley called the Beef and Barrel.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a good name. I would like to spend some time at the Beef Bar. Were you like the bar kid where everybody's. Oh, Christina. And they go over, they go, here, put the. Give you like $2. I save this for you. Go buy yourself candy.

[Christina P]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Meanwhile, you're stealing their wallet.

[H. Foley]

What would a typical dinner be at a bar like that? Some mozzarella sticks, some chicken fingers.

[Christina P]

Oh, and. And gosh, yes. And I think that those years really set me up to be a great. Like to be a stand up comedian, like to enjoy that. That dinginess of that night.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's like I walk into a dive bar and it's like I can tell right away if. If the coke's good, not the drugs.

[Christina P]

Did you grow up in bars?

[Kevin Ryan]

Grew up and hanging out in bars, eating chicken fingers at the bar, playing the photo Hunt. My dad. I mean, my whole family's alcoholic. So am I. I'm not, I'm not. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. It's just who we are.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just Irish construction drum. Construction workers.

[Christina P]

Yeah. I just. I stopped drinking alcohol after I had. I like 60 days ago. It's horrible. But anyway, the point is, okay, Beef and Barrel. I have the best memories of it, though, because it was the 80s and the music was amazing. So everybody's like, the 80s were the best. I'm like, yes, they were. It was Duran Duran. It was Lionel Richie. It was Frankie Goes to Hollywood. It was, you know, and I'm. And I have this great memory of dancing with sailors. There were sailors in their outfits in third grade. Third grade. They had just come off whatever break and they were on the dance floor with me and they were like, I'm this novelty. I'm this little girl.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Like, oh, it's fun. We're dancing, you know, we're having a good time.

[Christina P]

So fun. And at one point, it's like a wedding. It was so. Yeah, exactly. It was moany. Moni, you know that song by Billy Idols?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

And Sailors. Yeah. There's a thing where they go, hey, motherfucker, get laid, get fucked. Like you sing it. In between. I remember being like, what's this new poem? And I remember chanting it with them, hey, motherfucker, get laid, get fucked. And I was like, my life couldn't get any better.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like, this is the height of cool.

[Christina P]

And then I go to school the next day. I went to a nice Lutheran school. And, like, how do you explain to other kids that you.

[Kevin Ryan]

What you're doing.

[Christina P]

Chanted with sailors?

[H. Foley]

Yeah. They were home watching the A team last night.

[Christina P]

Yeah. Dorks.

[H. Foley]

Wait, so. Yeah, so a Christian school.

[Christina P]

Private school.

[H. Foley]

Private school. Okay. Uniform, the whole nine yards.

[Christina P]

Not a uniform yet. That's in Catholic school. When I got kicked out of public school, I had to go to prison.

[Kevin Ryan]

What did you get kicked out for?

[Christina P]

I just didn't go. I stopped going.

[H. Foley]

Who gets kicked out of public school goes to Catholic school. That's the reverse. That's crazy.

[Christina P]

So I. Yeah. By ninth grade, I start to realize that, like, my home life is weird, that something's up. Like, my mom's crazy, my dad's crazy. I've got this Indian stepdad. I've got three new stepsisters that are Indian.

[H. Foley]

And like, oh, okay. So you got three new steps.

[Kevin Ryan]

Getting along with them at all?

[Christina P]

Loved them.

[H. Foley]

Nice.

[Christina P]

A relief.

[H. Foley]

How much older are they than you are? Younger than you.

[Christina P]

They're about. We're all. I've one that's like a year older, one that's five years older, and one that's. That's about four years younger.

[H. Foley]

Perfect. All right. In the mix.

[Christina P]

So fun. And I love them and I'm thrilled to have a family.

[H. Foley]

And your mom kind of levels off a little bit. She's doing okay.

[Christina P]

It's great because now she ignores me, so now I'm free.

[H. Foley]

Okay, so.

[Christina P]

Meaning she's her focus.

[Kevin Ryan]

Her. Yeah. Crazy focus is not on you.

[Christina P]

It's now. It's on the.

[H. Foley]

Are you back living there?

[Christina P]

Do you. Every year I go back and forth. I get kicked out of my mom, My mom can't take me. My dad. I get annoyed with my dad. I go back to live with my mother. It's like, what does the girls have.

[H. Foley]

Divorced do that Indian stepdad does well, he's the best.

[Christina P]

So my Indian stepdad is a criminal genius. He passed away. So I can tell these stories.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[Christina P]

Brilliant man. So he. He escaped. He Escaped. It's so.

[Kevin Ryan]

Also that's a book. My Indian Stepdad, the Mastermind Criminal. That's really good. That is the name of your next special something. No one's ever said that.

[Christina P]

Oh, why are you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Because Indian guys wouldn't say my Indian stepdad. They would just be their stepdad.

[Christina P]

But I bring him in. So. So, so he's. He's brought up in like Bombay and he's poor as. And he only wants to come to America. So he's somehow gets in our US military does, Goes to Stuttgart to station there. Finally comes to America, comes to Van Nuys, which at the time was good. It was the 70s, which is the San Fran Valley again. And basically what immigrants do. I don't know if you guys, you don't know they. Immigrants are geniuses. Especially if they're criminal.

[Kevin Ryan]

You figure out loopholes, you find the holes. Yeah.

[Christina P]

So he was a brilliant mind at loophole findings. And he had scammed a couple ladies before he met my mother. He would marry blonde ladies, take their credit and establish businesses, make millions and millions of dollars, not pay taxes, file bankruptcy and do it again. Millions.

[H. Foley]

Whoa.

[Christina P]

So I went from living in a two bedroom apartment in the valley with my mom, like an immigrant, whatever. And she meets this guy because she decides it's time to get married.

[H. Foley]

Where do they meet?

[Christina P]

This is the best part.

[Kevin Ryan]

Interpol.

[Christina P]

So she puts an ad. This is 1988.

[H. Foley]

The out of here.

[Christina P]

She puts an ad in the.

[H. Foley]

You should be a super villain by now.

[Kevin Ryan]

The fact you haven't turned this for evil and you live a life for comedy is crazy.

[H. Foley]

Are you gonna murder us when we're done?

[Christina P]

I should be a sociopath. Oh my God.

[H. Foley]

Puts an ad in the paper.

[Christina P]

So in the Indian newspaper because she is convinced, she says to me, I like Indian men. They are. They are tall, dark and handsome. And they are. Which I'm like, I'm pretty sure that's.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wait, there's an Indian newspaper. There's an Indian newspaper in California because.

[Christina P]

There'S a lot of Indian people.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Christina P]

And Shivans Indian men. So she puts an ad and she says, Buxom European woman seeks educated Indian man for marriage. Sorry. Well off. Basically have to be rich.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, sure.

[H. Foley]

For marriage.

[Christina P]

For marriage.

[H. Foley]

They hear that shit, they're coming running.

[Christina P]

Yeah. So we received bags of letters.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is your mom very attractive?

[Christina P]

She was stunning.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

And I mean huge tits, blonde hair, blue eyes, like an Aryan goddess.

[H. Foley]

I was wondering what buxom meant.

[Christina P]

She is. She was. Yeah, she was a model in Hungary before she escaped I mean, she was. She was just banging, right? So we get these bags of letters, and the one letter that catches her eye is of this guy. I won't say. Sure, Subash. This is Indian name. And he's in front of a Mercedes convertible. They send him pictures, photos, of course, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Imagine going through those letters with your mom, hey, do you want to bang this Indian dude? That's crazy.

[Christina P]

And he's got the Mercedes and Armani suit, a Roli. And he's got those old school car phones.

[Kevin Ryan]

The Brick dude, the Zach Morris.

[H. Foley]

That's pretty good.

[Kevin Ryan]

What? Also dude, posing for that in the 80s is. That's money.

[Christina P]

He's wild, dude. So she sees that she's slipping out of her seat. Done, dude. A month later, they're married. One month.

[H. Foley]

One month.

[Christina P]

And I remember putting bets on it with my new stepsisters, my new step family. How long this marriage will last. And I was like, it's got to be a year tops, because my mom's like, super crazy. Like, there's. She's hot, but she's nuts. There's no way they lasted 17 years.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wow.

[Christina P]

They were a fantastic couple.

[Kevin Ryan]

Good for them.

[Christina P]

Because they were both bananas, bonkers, batshit crazy. And they would do business together. I don't know what he did.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's just like, perfectly intertwined. There was no, like, friction. Their craziness is married and did well.

[Christina P]

It. It was lovely. And he was, sadly enough, the most paternal and functional of my stepparents. My dad, he would. He loved comedy. He loved Jay Leno. He and I would watch comedy together and he would tell jokes and we would, you know, fart at the table. And he. He was fun. I have memories of going to Rite Aid for ice cream or Thrifty. It's called Thrifty in LA for pistachio ice cream. He loved that. And he'd go, he was fat. He was really fat.

[Kevin Ryan]

I did not picture him.

[H. Foley]

Really? I didn't picture him either.

[Christina P]

He's very fat. He was, right, because he was poor. He grew up poor. So when he came to America, he.

[Kevin Ryan]

Was eating pizza and pistachio ice cream.

[Christina P]

Hair, claws.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, you don't gotta tell me you're Indian.

[Christina P]

He was a fat guy. He lived. I. So he said, let's go. Let's go to Thrifty, get some ice cream. And he'd get in the car and he go, hold on a minute. And he would get out of the car and he would take a blade and he would slash some guy's tires in the parking lot. And then get back in the car. And then we would just go to Thrifty and get our ice cream.

[H. Foley]

Why?

[Christina P]

Some guy did him dirty. Some business.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, it was like payback.

[Christina P]

Some guy did him dirty.

[H. Foley]

So that. So going to get the ice cream was a partial cover?

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, it was.

[Christina P]

No, he wanted ice cream, but he just had to do this errand.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, you're gonna. I mean, you're not gonna do that. Go home, then go get ice cream. You're gonna knock it all out while you're.

[Christina P]

Because it was on the way. The parking lot was at the. It was right. It was on the way. So he just pulls over. We go. I'm. What's. What's, you know, subash doing? Oh, he's just slashing guys higher in the car. And my mother was there too. And I remember she's like high fiving him and like, they love it. And that was their dynamic. Yeah. They would start. He would start fights in, like, grocery stores, like telling people to shut their. You know, shut your kid up. And then my mother would hype it. Like, my mom was her. My mom was a hype man. And I know. Look at your face also.

[Kevin Ryan]

This. This.

[H. Foley]

You open this up with. He was the most paternal person.

[Christina P]

He was. But here's the crazy part, is that to me, like, the coolest.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Christina P]

Stepdad I got. I lucked out. And look, a lot of stepdads are like, super molesting and pervy. Like, he wasn't. Like, he encouraged me to be comedian.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's great.

[Christina P]

I know it's kind of sad that this is like the most supportive adult.

[H. Foley]

I had, but it's like the slash tires.

[Christina P]

Yeah. Our lawn got set on fire because some. Somebody was retaliating against whatever he did.

[H. Foley]

Hey, Kippy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Let's talk about pretty Litter. I'll take the lead on this because I got a nice kitty cat at home and she loves that pretty litter. Let me tell you the real story. Here's. I'll pull it back to fourth wall a little bit. All right. Before Pretty Litter became a sponsor, we were using something else.

[Kevin Ryan]

Bozo stuff.

[H. Foley]

Bozo stuff. It stunk. It was clumped up. It was heavy. Bringing it upstairs, it would get everywhere. Then Pretty Litter comes along. I got the cat in the family. I take it home. I tell the broad, I'm like, hey, we got a new sponsor. She sees it, she's like, oh, my God, Pretty litter. She's going nuts. I'm like, this broad, screwballs. She throws that in there, man. It's Absolutely fantastic. It lasts long. All right. It's not heavy. The crystals are phenomenal. And if there's something going on with the cat's urinary tract, the crystals are going to let you know. They can indicate if you love your cat. You got to be using Pretty litter. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Indoor cats and indoor humans agree. Pretty litter helps your health smell fresh and clean. So go to pretty litter.com garbage to save 20% on your first order. And get a free cat toys. Big man likes that. That's pretty littered.com garbage to save 20% on your first order. And get a free cat toy one more time. Pretty Litter.com garbage terms and conditions apply. See decipher details.

[H. Foley]

Sure. Hold on a second. Game. Got to talk to you about Mando. I'm talking to you big boys out.

[Kevin Ryan]

There and big gals.

[H. Foley]

Deodorant is not just for your pits anymore.

[Kevin Ryan]

Anymore.

[H. Foley]

All right. It's 20, 25. You stink. I stink. There's a lot of cracks and crevices. We're talking about folds.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's spicy, muy caliente.

[H. Foley]

You're talking about aromas that are unpleasant to the smell. So do yourself a favor. Get Mando. It's the all over body deodorant. You can use it just about anywhere. Don't brush your teeth with it, obviously, but you can use it just about everywhere else. And it's absolutely fantastic. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was created by a doctor who saw firsthand how normal BO was being misdiagnosed and mistreated. It's clinically proven a block all day and control odor for up to 72 hours.

[H. Foley]

That's three days.

[Kevin Ryan]

Here they got the solid stick. They got the solid deodorant stick. It's formulated and powered by Mandela mandelic acid to stop odor before it even starts. Get ahead of the game. Then they got spray deodorant, which is aluminum free and ideal for those hard to reach places. Which, Buddy, I got two or three of them. Like we said, it's. It's clinically proven to control odor better than a shower and soap alone. Twelve hours after a shower, the average man's grundle odor is a level is 5 out of 10. And with Mando, the average Grundle odor level was 0 out of 10. Those numbers don't lie. Let's get to the turkey Mando starter pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant cream tube deodorant. Two free products of your choice like the mini body wash and the deodorant wipes I like the wipes. Plus free shipping as a special offer for AYG listeners and new customers. You get $5 off a starter pack with our exclusive code that equates to over 40% off your starter pack with code [e-mail] s h o p m a n d o.com Please support our show and tell them that we sent you smell fresher. Stay dry or boost your confidence Head to toe with me. Don't do it.

[H. Foley]

Now back to the show, would you say? So what was the, the house you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Said you moved from a two bedroom to.

[Christina P]

Oh, sorry. So I go to two bedroom into this. Like, I finally. Now I'm living in like this really nice house.

[H. Foley]

You guys are rich all of a.

[Christina P]

Sudden, bang, you're rich overnight. It's like literally we get. My mom marries this guy, she gets the rock, she gets a Mercedes and she literally takes her Mercedes to her, her, her gym where she works out at the women's only, okay, in, in the Valley. And she's like, look at these. I'm rich now. Like, she's like, what's up? I've got money.

[H. Foley]

She slashed everybody's tires, went and got some rocky road and went home.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Like a lady.

[Kevin Ryan]

What were some of the business, like, what was it like, real estate? Was it like importing X? Like, what was the.

[Christina P]

Right. So I found out later after he passed, basically he was a shylock. So he would loan money, all right, and he would take the deed to.

[Kevin Ryan]

Your house or car.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Christina P]

So at his time of his death, he had all these deeds to every motherfucker's house in la. And he was like, he was, he was stacked. He did. So that was one of them.

[H. Foley]

Where'd that cash go? I'm sorry, where'd that, where all those properties and stuff go?

[Christina P]

My stepsisters inherited, okay, that, yeah, all right. I mean, there were, there was a time he was about to go to prison and I don't know, somehow he got out of it something. But one thing I do love, and I will say is my Indian stepdad did believe that in America, if you were rich, it transcended your race, it transcended your background and kind of true. It's fucking true, bro. Because look at his ass. Like, he's like some fucking nobody from Bombay. He shows up, he marries this hot ass Hungarian lady with big tits and blonde hair and like is driving a Mercedes. Like only in America can that happen.

[Kevin Ryan]

Happen.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Also like, you can go to the nice restaurant. It's not like you're in the highest class. It's like you can go to the.

[Christina P]

Nice restaurant the Chills. Yeah. Like. And so both my.

[Kevin Ryan]

The American dream.

[Christina P]

Unfortunately, my dad and my stepdad are like these hardcore.

[H. Foley]

Killing it.

[Christina P]

Wow, dude. Like, you can do that? Like, yes, you can. I don't know about today, but back in the day.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, that's wild.

[Christina P]

I know.

[H. Foley]

Well, and then you got the Internet and facial ID and all that kind of stuff now. Fingerprints, DNA. Well, it'd be a little tricky.

[Christina P]

So. So I wanted to. To work when I was a teenager. And legally I had to be 15. He changed my birth certificate.

[H. Foley]

What?

[Christina P]

So I could work legally. Legally. So my birth certificate. He augment. He could do that. Like, he would fix papers back in the day, you could. In the 90s. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was like white out in a typewriter. And you could do it.

[Christina P]

Yes, it was that easy. You could fix loan docs, you could fix payroll or pay stubs.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll do that for our employee if they're trying to get a lease or something. Somebody was trying to get a lease. Like, I don't make enough. I'm like, I write the checks.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, you do.

[Kevin Ryan]

You don't half New York if we. We. If you document the papers.

[H. Foley]

Right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Idiots. Yeah, I. We also. I have that thing of like in.

[Christina P]

Your family too, or you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, my. Yeah, a little bit. Well, yeah, there was some. Not. Not criminal, but just morally questionable.

[H. Foley]

They're not loan sharks, let's put it that way.

[Kevin Ryan]

A lot of family members don't talk to each other anymore. Let's just leave it at that.

[Christina P]

Yes, I have that too, you know, I have relatives. Friends. Relatives. Hungarian. Like, there's this one guy my. My dad was friends with. He's passed away now too. Like, his racket was like getting inkjet printers. So specific cartridges and then refilling them.

[Kevin Ryan]

And selling with bad ink or something.

[Christina P]

Yeah, that's your racket, bro.

[H. Foley]

That's a hustle.

[Christina P]

What's that, 50 bucks a pop? Like, come on.

[H. Foley]

Talk about plate the long.

[Kevin Ryan]

I like it though. Those things were hard to get and expensive at the time. That was that everybody would go. The inks, where they get you.

[H. Foley]

You gotta be real sorry when you're running a toner, I'll tell you that.

[Christina P]

That's 100%. That was it. The inks, where they get you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, yeah, the printer's 100 bucks, but you're spending 80 every month on inkjet.

[Christina P]

Jesus. That and like, I had a relative who during communism was like, got. Was in Some ring of sending jeans back to.

[H. Foley]

That was big.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was big.

[H. Foley]

Blue jeans and Beatles tape. That was it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. The European, they lost love that they still don't have Levi's really over there. They do a little bit now, but still, for the longest time, there's no Levi's.

[H. Foley]

Did other family come over or like once. Once the wall fell and all that stuff, you guys, I guess, reconnected with your family over there or some of them over here?

[Christina P]

Yeah, most of us. Most of them got out and then. Then they went back, which to me is like, whoa, bro. What? Like around the 90s, my dad remarries to a Hungarian woman.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Christina P]

And so now he's like, like, rekindling these roots of, like, Hungarianism.

[H. Foley]

I get that a little bit.

[Christina P]

I do, too.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

So they get a property in Hungary. So now we're going to Budapest Break. Like every year we go. Or not every year. Every few years in the summer or whatever, I go talk to some foreign cousins and get diarrhea.

[H. Foley]

This is.

[Christina P]

It's the worst. I know. It's the worst. Now the best part is when I turned 18, my dad.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is all before 18.

[H. Foley]

It's crazy. Then I got into fifth grade. Fifth grade.

[Christina P]

I know. The nicer 18.

[H. Foley]

What was the first job, by the way, that he forged the documentary.

[Christina P]

That's so awesome. Marylander. Marketing research.

[Kevin Ryan]

Working in marketing research at 15.

[H. Foley]

Wait, you're scamming 14?

[Kevin Ryan]

What are you doing though, there? Like, receptionist?

[Christina P]

Hi, this is Christina calling from Maryland. Drew, Marketing research. I was wondering if you had a few minutes today to take just a brief survey.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're born to be a dirt bag.

[H. Foley]

What?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's great. You. You flew truck.

[H. Foley]

You were doing Ponzi.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's crazy.

[Christina P]

But before that, I worked in.

[Kevin Ryan]

My dad's working in an Indian call center. This is Christine.

[Christina P]

Thank you. Thank you for calling. But before that, I worked in my dad's shop in the summers, and I would answer his phone.

[H. Foley]

Okay, that. That. That makes sense.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Shop girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fine.

[Christina P]

But then I'd like. They asked me questions about pallet jacks. And so I had to learn about.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like, I know my way around a pallet jack.

[Christina P]

I did, too, unfortunately. Or like, propane versus electric forklifts.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I sell electric forklift batteries at one point.

[Christina P]

Okay. Yeah. Those run out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Those.

[H. Foley]

They do.

[Kevin Ryan]

And the guy I was working for had a chemical refill.

[H. Foley]

Those.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, that's what he was doing. He was. He was. There were. It's called New Life batteries. It would Make. He would take. We'd buy old batteries.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then he had some sort of chemical process where he could reanimate to, like, 80 of their. Whatever or something like that.

[Christina P]

Shit's so shady, dude.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know. Lottery.

[H. Foley]

What was high school.

[Kevin Ryan]

You good?

[H. Foley]

Student in high school.

[Christina P]

Disastrous. Okay, so this is a nightmare. So by the time I'm in the middle of ninth grade, I told you, I. I lose my mind because I'm like, dude, my family is. Something's wrong here.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Christina P]

But I blame myself. I think I'm the one that's crazy. You don't know when you're a kid that your parents are messed up. You think you're messed up. So I get really depressed, and I just, like, stop going to school. Like eighth grade, I was just like, you know what? I'm not into school. And I would get into fights with, like, cholas and black girls and stuff. Like, I just got into fights a lot.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did you fight?

[Christina P]

Yeah. I didn't. Like, when I say that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Eastern block.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know, no surrender, no retreat in you.

[Christina P]

I don't say I won any fights.

[Kevin Ryan]

But you were.

[Christina P]

I fought back. I should say.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Christina P]

I got my ass beat a lot. And I was like. I was goth and I was getting into, you know, just experimenting with drugs.

[H. Foley]

And this is. When you're in a nice house, though, you're out of the apartment.

[Christina P]

All the apartment. I'm in the nice house. It's nice. Ninth grade, my life has completely changed because I have this, like, new step family. And. Yeah. And I'm just getting depressed and weird, and I'm trying drugs, and I'm like, I'm not gonna go to school anymore. Don't like it there. And my grades just go straight. Fails. No, sorry. Straight Ds. Straight Ds. I failed gym, but I begged the teacher to give me a D so that I could transfer out and go to Catholic school because my mother saw that I was failing. And God bless her for going, like, yeah, you need help. And I was like, put me in a mental hospital. I think I need mental help. I'm crazy. She's like, no, no, no, you don't need. Just go to Catholic school.

[H. Foley]

I take you dentist.

[Christina P]

Yeah. So that was their solution, to send me to Catholic school. And I loved it because the structure. Okay, the nuns, I, you know, hey, I. I love Catholic school. And it's.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was a, you know, structure in a life of chaos. Essentially.

[Christina P]

Essentially. And I found great friends. And my best friend I met still is my best friend to this day. From that place. I wore a uniform there, and I thrived. And then my grades got better and better, and I eventually eked my way into college.

[H. Foley]

Nice.

[Christina P]

High school is a disaster because home life now, stepdad is doing his thing, and you know what's going on? Where. What. Why did his windshield get shot out?

[H. Foley]

Gotcha.

[Christina P]

You know, there's fights, there's plates of food getting messy. It's getting. It's getting hectic.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha.

[Christina P]

It's getting hectic. So I'm just out. Huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

Good. That just. That hit me. Not on a. On a human level. Not podcast.

[H. Foley]

I'm like, if I came out in the morning and my mom's windshield would shot out, I'd have some questions before I got on the bus.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know you're like, all right.

[Christina P]

But that's the thing is, like, when you grow up in that you don't ask questions. You're just like, oh, yeah, that happened. Like, you don't even. So basically, I start spending more time at my friend's house.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha.

[Christina P]

My boyfriend's house at the time. I have a great boyfriend who's 8, and I make a good group of goth friends, and I'm just not home very much until I get into college.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then I'm like, okay, what was college?

[Christina P]

University of San Francisco.

[H. Foley]

Nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

Good.

[Christina P]

I got in on academic probation. I barely eked. I didn't even break a thousand on my S.A.T.

[Kevin Ryan]

S. That was gonna be my next question.

[H. Foley]

I was so stupid.

[Christina P]

I couldn't do it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not a thing.

[Christina P]

I couldn't do it. I was like. I didn't. I didn't.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nine something, eight something.

[Christina P]

Eight something. Eight. I was so stupid.

[H. Foley]

I made 70.

[Christina P]

You did?

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Studied my ass off.

[Kevin Ryan]

The thousand is the barometer.

[Christina P]

Yeah. Like, I'm sure. But I wasn't turned out. I had a tough. I couldn't study. How can you study when there's chaos?

[Kevin Ryan]

When there's a machine gun going off out front?

[H. Foley]

Getting death threats at the house every third call.

[Christina P]

Yeah. So once I get good grades, for the first time in my life, I'm getting straight A's, and I'm like, oh, okay. I'm not stupid. I'm just. My home life is.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, right. What. What was the first concert? Your goth. What's the first concert?

[H. Foley]

Do we know the band. Were they. Were they like a big goth band?

[Christina P]

The best in. Best goth band in the world.

[H. Foley]

The Smiths.

[Christina P]

Oh, they were broken up by the time I. I'm 13 years old, so, like, 1988.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Christina P]

Louisiana. Dodger Stadium.

[H. Foley]

DEPECHE Mode.

[Christina P]

I wish. No.

[H. Foley]

Am I close?

[Christina P]

Yes.

[H. Foley]

Huh.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not more him.

[Christina P]

Love and Rockets is the opening band. The Pixies.

[H. Foley]

Pixies. I don't know. Hit us.

[Christina P]

The Cure.

[H. Foley]

Ah, it was right there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Great one.

[H. Foley]

And more Pop at that point, too. If we're splitting hairs, that's. I think pictures of you would already come out.

[Christina P]

And here's the cool part about that. So I make friends with. I'm sure I can talk about this because she's written books about it with Jennifer Pentland, who's Roseanne Barr's daughter. So she and I. Pantlin and Pajicki. She's got access to money.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Christina P]

No one's watching that either. No one's home there.

[H. Foley]

Wait, this is when Roseanne's on the air. It's popping.

[Christina P]

This is like she's at the height.

[Kevin Ryan]

The height of Roseanne.

[H. Foley]

That was a height.

[Christina P]

It was so much fun.

[Kevin Ryan]

And so you've lived so many lives.

[Christina P]

That's what I say. That's so fun. Funny. I. I feel like it. Anyway, so I make friends with her. And for first time in my life, I also see comedy. God, I'm gonna cry. And I see, like, it's possible to have fun and their home is fun. And her father, Bill Pentland. Oh, they saved my life. Oh, sorry. I was supposed to cry on a comedy show. But their home is fun and they have stuff in their living room, like a fake spaghetti thing that's like plastic. And the forks in the air.

[H. Foley]

That was a good. That was a good bit in the 80s.

[Christina P]

So, so fun.

[H. Foley]

Right?

[Christina P]

Because he was a funny guy. They were funny people. And, like, I just love that family. And I credit them for saving my.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's amazing.

[Christina P]

The Penland, like, shout out to that whole family for saving me, basically. So what's the point? Oh, so we got lots of access to money and time, and we took.

[H. Foley]

A limousine being able to go to the.

[Christina P]

To the Cure concerts.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

We took a limo to Dodger stadium when I'm 13 to see the Cure. And I was like, what is this life? Like, this is so crazy.

[H. Foley]

Did you meet Robert Smith?

[Christina P]

I wish.

[H. Foley]

And I was in love with him when I was a kid.

[Christina P]

No, you weren't.

[H. Foley]

Ah, dude, he was shut.

[Christina P]

You're fucking with me.

[H. Foley]

I loved him.

[Christina P]

No, you.

[H. Foley]

This is before he got heavy. So when he was thin, he had the under eye makeup and the hair.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

What do you mean?

[Christina P]

Are you like, you're for him or you have gay.

[H. Foley]

I wanted to be him.

[Christina P]

Yeah, me too. Dude.

[H. Foley]

Boys don't cry. That killed me.

[Christina P]

I didn't know you were alt.

[H. Foley]

I love that shit. Really loved it.

[Christina P]

Oh, you're so gay.

[H. Foley]

I'm sorry.

[Christina P]

You know what?

[H. Foley]

Crying.

[Christina P]

I know. I'm such a guy. Yeah. So that was that.

[H. Foley]

And I wrote good songs. What do you want from me?

[Christina P]

He's amazing.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, they were great.

[Kevin Ryan]

But pictures of you.

[H. Foley]

I heard the first time my. The night of my prom. We were taking acid in like. Like a house after the prom. And that song came on and I was like, man, that's a hit.

[Christina P]

Do you want acid at the prom or after?

[H. Foley]

At prom and after prom. Yeah.

[Christina P]

How did you survive?

[H. Foley]

I don't know. It's kind of my thing back then, you know?

[Christina P]

Me too.

[H. Foley]

I used to wrestle in high school on it.

[Christina P]

Oh, my.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

How much acid have you done?

[H. Foley]

Good amount.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. I'm a little screwballs, to be honest with you. Both of us are pretty up. I don't know if you pick that up.

[Christina P]

Have you done acid, too?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I, I. No.

[H. Foley]

He's a drinker.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm a drinker. I come in a long line of like, you don't do drugs, but we'll give you beers at 14 on a ride from the party. And you go, all right.

[Christina P]

I know, I know. Because all these kids are on Molly or fentanyl now or whatever. I'm like, dude, we fried our brains with LSD. Sure, that's real. And a formative year. It's like 14, 15, 16.

[H. Foley]

The first time I took it was when I was a senior in high school. And I loved it. And I was like, at certain times on it. I was like, at my. I was the best possible version of myself on it. I know that sounds crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[Christina P]

No. Doc Ellis, this, You know, Doc Ellis.

[H. Foley]

Doc Ellis.

[Christina P]

No, he pitched.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, the. No, no, he threw a no hitter on it. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Oh, yes, of course. Okay. Yeah.

[Christina P]

Don't you poo poo psychedelics. Don't you poo poo your lsd?

[H. Foley]

I thought we were on to something.

[Kevin Ryan]

These cameras aren't even on right now.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, no, I honestly, I felt like I was. I was at my best self. I also feel like the acid at that time, from like, 93 to 97, they had the mix right or something, I don't know. But it was all right.

[Christina P]

And then it went downhill by 98 because there was too much, like, strychnine or weird shit in it.

[H. Foley]

Sure. The dead stopped touring. It was all over.

[Christina P]

Yeah. I think There's a correlation.

[H. Foley]

100%. Our college was right Outside of Philadelphia. I went to college right outside of Philadelphia. And our, the fraternity I was in, they were kind of like stoner, deadheady kind of guys. Whenever the Grateful Dead would come in the two weeks before it and the two weeks after it, the drugs were flowing like water. And it was all top shelf, good stuff.

[Christina P]

I agree. Because when I went to college in San Francisco, same thing. The drugs were amazing.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Great time. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Put that on the brochure. University of San Francisco. Drugs are good.

[Kevin Ryan]

They really were only between 93 and 98. So get your time machine, folks, if you really want to go far out.

[H. Foley]

So the Cure was your first concert. Dodger State.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a great.

[H. Foley]

That's pretty close.

[Kevin Ryan]

That might be one of the best.

[H. Foley]

Took a limo.

[Christina P]

I took a limo.

[H. Foley]

Did you ever go to the set? You go to the center, Roseanne?

[Christina P]

I did. I did. And because that's when it was all happening. I mean, I'm doing the chest.

[Kevin Ryan]

Joe Hollywood.

[H. Foley]

I mean, it was such, it was such a big. She was so big.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

That was like the first time. Time, you know, in a while from like the late 70s where they showed a family that wasn't doing well.

[Kevin Ryan]

A middle class struggle. Yeah, like, struggling.

[Christina P]

Listen, she is, I think, just the greatest of. I just loved her so. I still love her so much. And yes, we visited the set and I remember, like, seeing a craft service table, which I don't know why, why do they call it a craft service? I thought that. I don't know why they call it. It's just like a table of snacks.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, sure.

[Christina P]

And being like, like, oh, my God, they get all these.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it's the best nutrition bars. The hell?

[Christina P]

I gotta get into show business.

[Kevin Ryan]

Free granola for everybody.

[H. Foley]

Nice crafties.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, sure.

[Christina P]

And I, I loved that family, too, because there's this. I remember. So I went to the. Her wedding to Tom Arnold.

[H. Foley]

And that's nuts that you were at that. That was a huge story.

[Christina P]

Look in Time.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're like Forrest Gump. You were at Tom Arnold and Roseanne Barr's wedding many times.

[H. Foley]

Have you met Richard Nixon?

[Christina P]

I totally am Forrest Gump. There's so many. I can tell you stories where I'm like, why am I in this room right now? I just.

[H. Foley]

You went to Tom Arnold and Roseanne's wedding.

[Christina P]

Look it up. It's a. There's an issue of Time magazine.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm on the COVID I'm not on.

[Christina P]

The COVID but I, I, I was 13 or 14 and I think. And I was wearing a purple Velvet dress that I bought at a, you know, what is a vintage store. And Jenny's sitting next to me, and she's making a goofy face.

[Kevin Ryan]

And you're, like, in the fold because you're. You're sitting next to the daughter. So you're, like, in the fold right there, front row.

[Christina P]

And. And there's this great quote in that article I'll never forget. She goes, we're America's nightmare. We're white trash with money.

[Kevin Ryan]

Welcome to the show.

[Christina P]

Yeah, exactly.

[Kevin Ryan]

Welcome to the show.

[Christina P]

Exactly. And I. I so respected her for that, too. Of like, money ain't. Money doesn't change you, bro. It just makes you who you are. And, you know, that's why it can amplify real issues.

[H. Foley]

Those two wreaked havoc at ABC for a minute when that whole thing was going on and they were together.

[Christina P]

Listen, I won't talk about that, but sure, yeah, the.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, yeah, money will just amplify whatever issue you have going on. It's like, you know, you just buy, you know, stupid shit.

[Christina P]

But that's why people like. So it's a great quote, and I think about it all the time. When I. In my own life now, I'm like, look, I. I may be wearing nicer shoes, but on the inside, we're aware.

[H. Foley]

Thanks. Snake bite.

[Christina P]

You know, you are who you are. But.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, well, yeah, we've always said, too, like, it's not money. Doesn't. It doesn't depend on money. And it's also, like, money can get. Like, maybe your kids will be 10% different, but, like, you're just less trashy because you're.

[H. Foley]

They didn't have to do what you did last night. What are you talking about?

[Christina P]

My kid brought a hammer to school last week.

[Kevin Ryan]

Gonna hit a jewelry store after this smash and grab job.

[Christina P]

Jesus Christ. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's. Let's run through a handful of the. The standards.

[H. Foley]

Sure. And just to stay on that note on the. On the Roseanne table, what was your use when you guys. When you started making money? Was there a crazy, irresponsible, first stupid, trashy purchase?

[Kevin Ryan]

We didn't need the hot tub or the wave runner. The.

[Christina P]

You know what's so funny is because I'm such, like, communist mentality, I still have guilt. I don't. I don't do that. So.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Christina P]

No, I'm the opposite.

[H. Foley]

So the first big check you didn't go out and buy, like.

[Christina P]

No, I moved out of the ghetto. We moved out of. We were living in down. I'll tell you what. I just did. That counts.

[H. Foley]

That's pretty good.

[Christina P]

Yeah. This is what I do is I will buy the most nicest of the. It's not a shitty thing. I don't want to say that. Like, Tom will be like, don't. Do you want a nice car? And I'll be like, I just want a Volkswagen bus. I've wanted one for my home.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

I just started putting them out again.

[Christina P]

I got one.

[H. Foley]

You did one of the new ones or you got an old one?

[Christina P]

New one.

[H. Foley]

You did.

[Christina P]

So that to me is like, what? Like, I waited years before.

[Kevin Ryan]

You could.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You could have done it 30, 20 years ago.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You could have done it way before right now.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

They're only 30 grand.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know. It's also, like, the same. It's like a Camry. You can. You can lease it for 400 bucks a month.

[H. Foley]

Civic.

[Christina P]

Yeah. Yeah. But in my mind, I'm like, I'm really being reckless here with money.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. So I went back and bought my first car. I mean, it was only like, yeah. It's a 1995 Chevy Lumina, and it was like, seven grand more than when I bought it in 2000 or 90. Whatever. Whatever. It was sweet, right?

[Christina P]

Does it feel. What?

[Kevin Ryan]

Does it feel like a waste of money?

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

My wife's like, are you kidding me? I also find it funny because, like, Tom.

[H. Foley]

Cigarettes in there, though.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Yeah, of course you smoke cigarettes.

[Kevin Ryan]

I like those. Tom's into cars, and I'm like, I'll just. I want to go buy a bunch of, like. I want to buy, like, a Corolla from 93.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just have, like, a warehouse of shitty cars.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shitty 1990 cars. Yeah.

[Christina P]

Or even just the cars that I saw other kids having. Like, I would love. Love a Volkswagen Cabriolet.

[Kevin Ryan]

Whoa.

[Christina P]

A convertible.

[Kevin Ryan]

Cool kid car.

[H. Foley]

Volkswagen Rabbit.

[Christina P]

That's what I'm talking about. Stick shift.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Like an Aqua.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can you drive stick?

[Christina P]

No. But I would learn for that one because my dad had one of those, and I thought, oh, that's so cool.

[H. Foley]

Surprised you can't drive stick.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Eastern European.

[Christina P]

I learned in Australia. Actually, I can do it on the left side because I was on road rolls, remember? I could do that on. I learned in Australia.

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh.

[H. Foley]

Left side. That's crazy. What was the first card?

[Christina P]

Suck it. Suck, dude. My boring ass. Stepmom. Dude. She's so boring. She had, like, a gray Chevy Nova 87 with a gray interior. I'm like, how uninspiring are you that, like. Yeah. You couldn't even pick A color Chevy?

[H. Foley]

No, but that's crazy. That's like a stuntman's car.

[Christina P]

I wish.

[H. Foley]

That's great.

[Christina P]

I trashed. I smoked so much in that the ashtray was overflowing.

[Kevin Ryan]

What was the go to Sig? What were you smoking?

[Christina P]

Camel Lights, bro.

[Kevin Ryan]

Camel Lights.

[Christina P]

What were you smoking?

[Kevin Ryan]

I was.

[Christina P]

No, no, this is before blues. This is brown. Whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christina P]

What are you smoking? I want picture. Can I guess?

[Kevin Ryan]

I've been all over the. All over the road, but yeah, I'm.

[Christina P]

I'm going to go with you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hit me.

[H. Foley]

Salem one hundreds.

[Kevin Ryan]

Benson Hedges look like a Capri man.

[Christina P]

Hey, Benson and Hedges menth. Don't. Don't tempt me with.

[Kevin Ryan]

I smoked the Benson ahead. We found a pack of Benson Heads in the Oxford Valley Mall parking lot, and we smoked them and we threw up. Like, I mean, it was bad.

[Christina P]

Okay. You at one point did smoke GPCs, the generics, to get by.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[Christina P]

Okay. Okay, hold on. I'm not done. Marlboro Lights.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was. That was the last 12 years. Last 15 years of probably more blights. Yeah. You're good. Yeah.

[Christina P]

You smoke?

[H. Foley]

I did. We just.

[Kevin Ryan]

We both just quit two months ago in December.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Hold on. You. I think you really. You're gonna go for a stronger. You like a stronger pull. You like a. You want to feel that. I'm gonna go with, like. I don't know when I say this, like, filterless, maybe, like.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, hillbilly.

[H. Foley]

How old do you think I am?

[Christina P]

You roll your own, like, drums.

[H. Foley]

It was all pipes. Marlboro Reds. My dad smoked Marlboro Reds. We smoked Marlboro Reds.

[Christina P]

Yeah, Reds. Reds are gnarly reds.

[H. Foley]

And then mediums, when they kind of became fashionable, but a little bit like maybe like college cowboy killers. Yeah.

[Christina P]

The Reds have. They used to say fiberglass in the filters. I don't know if that's true, but that's a gnarly.

[H. Foley]

He was a nom. So he was a Reds man. He'd land, lay on the floor watching TV like this, just ripping heaters. Yeah.

[Christina P]

You know, I still love cigarettes, and.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think I still love them. I'm only two months out. They're still the coolest thing that's ever happened to me.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

I love booze. I love cigarette. I don't do any of it. I don't do any of it anymore. I love alcohol and cigarettes. Is there anything better than getting drunk and ripping butts?

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[Christina P]

Getting jacked on coffee. That cigarette.

[H. Foley]

Coffee and cigarettes. Percocet. Cup of coffee and a cigarette in the morning.

[Christina P]

That's what's up.

[H. Foley]

Talk about Christmas.

[Kevin Ryan]

Percocets from 95. 5.

[H. Foley]

The best.

[Christina P]

Well, yes, I. I agree. I never got to do Quaalutes, which is my biggest.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's your biggest life regret?

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Never got my hands on any lemons. Yeah, I got you lemons were gone by then.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

I did do Valium in eighth grade. I stole eighth grade.

[H. Foley]

Grade.

[Christina P]

I did pot. And when I was 13.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, me too. I started. I smoked weed at like 12 or 13. Yeah.

[Christina P]

Oh, wait, no, I lied. I lied the first time I. I did pod. I was nine years old. I ate brownies.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's crazy.

[Christina P]

I know.

[Kevin Ryan]

You did weed brownies at nine, right?

[Christina P]

Accidentally. Three of them. Yeah. Passed out.

[H. Foley]

Valley. Bertinelli's house.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's nuts.

[Christina P]

So bad.

[H. Foley]

Nine years.

[Christina P]

I need to go to therapy after this. It's my life. My life can't be the worst. There's got to be way worse.

[H. Foley]

It's very interesting.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's very interesting.

[H. Foley]

Very exciting.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. It's very unique.

[H. Foley]

Very awesome.

[Christina P]

Yeah, thanks. I'll write something.

[Kevin Ryan]

Let's say now. Obviously now. You're doing quite well, Right? Just say you're going. Let's say I invited you to my wedding. Right. What is that gift gonna. What's the check gonna be? What are you dropping as a gift?

[Christina P]

Okay. I tell you something, because I don't think you need dishes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

You don't know.

[H. Foley]

We're looking for cash.

[Christina P]

Unique case.

[H. Foley]

A monetary value.

[Christina P]

You need case. I'll give you a thousand bones.

[H. Foley]

Okay. There you go. Very nice.

[Christina P]

My husband's more generous. He'll probably give you more.

[Kevin Ryan]

I forget we could.

[H. Foley]

I believe it was some.

[Kevin Ryan]

Somewhere around there.

[H. Foley]

Thousand.

[Christina P]

You're good. Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Thousand. You're. You're doing great.

[Christina P]

That's. Yeah. You have a duty especially. I always tip well, too, because I've been a waitress.

[H. Foley]

Love that.

[Christina P]

I hate when. Yeah, because, you know, you always know the celebrity that doesn't tip well because they will tell that story forever.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I've heard. You know, I so and so came in. They. You know, I got a couple.

[H. Foley]

Tell me.

[Christina P]

I got two.

[H. Foley]

I don't want to trash anybody. We'll talk often.

[Christina P]

Allegedly.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Simone and O'Brien. Not a. Not a great tip.

[Christina P]

Really.

[H. Foley]

Oh, man.

[Christina P]

I know. You know who. I heard. And he's got me, too, so I can say his name.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who?

[Christina P]

I heard Jeremy Piven's. Not a good.

[H. Foley]

Not a good tip.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was notoriously. He left like a DVD of Entourage sign. But then I heard that.

[Christina P]

Like, I heard that story, too.

[Kevin Ryan]

I heard that bounce back. They were like. They asked for. They're like, oh, we don't have it. So, like, he went. He had one and gave it. He could just be lying.

[H. Foley]

Sarah Jessica Parker.

[Christina P]

A bad one or a good. She should be sweetheart, too.

[H. Foley]

Lovely. She's great.

[Christina P]

How do you know her?

[H. Foley]

Because I waited tables.

[Kevin Ryan]

Doesn't know her.

[H. Foley]

I was at her wedding.

[Christina P]

Sjp.

[Kevin Ryan]

He was giving her mozzarella sticks. What are you talking.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I waited table. When we first got to New York, I was waiting tables in this nice cafe in, like, a good part of the West Village. So there was a lot of. A lot of people ins and out.

[Kevin Ryan]

A lot of who's who.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, a lot of who's who.

[Christina P]

Carrie Fisher. I used to wait tables on her.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Christina P]

A lovely, lovely.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Then. Then the guy that played Doc in Back to the Future.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really?

[H. Foley]

No kidding. Christopher Lloyd.

[Christina P]

Lovely.

[H. Foley]

Nice. I like to hear that.

[Christina P]

Yeah, that was at a French restaurant.

[H. Foley]

And Bradley Cooper, great tipper.

[Christina P]

Oh, very good.

[H. Foley]

Chaz Palmintary. Fantastic.

[Kevin Ryan]

See, he's a great guy. We had him on the show. I was like, our first like.

[H. Foley]

And the guy that does the celebrity. The Mayhem commercials on Allstate. Dino.

[Christina P]

Wow.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's got cash.

[H. Foley]

Cash, cash. Great Dipper. Cool dude, too.

[Christina P]

That's important. You should be so important.

[H. Foley]

Important.

[Christina P]

You should be generous.

[H. Foley]

100.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Would you dance at the wedding?

[Christina P]

I don't drink anymore.

[H. Foley]

All right.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a great answer.

[H. Foley]

That's when you know you got a problem. Oh, thank God I didn't say, would you run through a play class window?

[Christina P]

I think, like, fun is correlated to alcohol.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

I stopped having fun.

[H. Foley]

Told you. I'm off the value.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Holy. So, no, you don't dance at a wedding.

[Christina P]

Here's what I would do. Do it. Full disclosure, I probably wouldn't come to the wedding because I don't want to do anything anymore like that. But I send you a nice check and be like, I love you, bro. Like, that's mazel. This is. This is it. I love you.

[Kevin Ryan]

I respect.

[H. Foley]

Classiest answer right there. I'm not coming. Here's a check. Don't cash it till Thursday.

[Kevin Ryan]

Signed, Indian guy.

[H. Foley]

Who's Cynthia Flores?

[Christina P]

Cynthia Florets.

[Kevin Ryan]

Holy. Have you ever owned a lava lamp?

[Christina P]

I have one right now in my room.

[H. Foley]

No, in your room in the bedroom.

[Christina P]

I love it. I love it. Yeah, it's a red one. Yeah, it's in my.

[H. Foley]

You guys have a lava lamp in Your room? That's. Is there a beanbag chair in there too, Downstairs?

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Holy.

[Christina P]

But full disclosure, my older son wanted the lava lamp, and so I was like, keep it in here in case it gets set on fire.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Those are dangerous.

[Christina P]

Oh, they are.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, they were back in the day. I don't know.

[H. Foley]

Now he's scaring the poor.

[Christina P]

I know those are dangerous.

[Kevin Ryan]

She's got bigger problems. Kids got a. Yeah.

[Christina P]

Worried about.

[H. Foley]

He's got an itchy trigger figure.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's. What's what? What's the air freshener in the car now? Do you have an air freshener in there right now?

[Christina P]

It smells like french fries. McDonald's.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're eating in the car?

[Christina P]

Wait, why Kids do. Dude, they up my car. They're putting there their food and their milkshakes. Okay.

[H. Foley]

In that car. Is that your day to day, this one?

[Christina P]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

Really? You got them in that and they're.

[Christina P]

Eating French fries back there because I'm garbage. I don't realize. Holy.

[H. Foley]

That's crazy.

[Christina P]

That's why I don't. I'm. I'm horrible. But no. Okay. You know what I discovered the smell of? You ever been inside of an anthropology store?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Yo, you know how that's. That smell?

[H. Foley]

White tea? Is that where you're going at nice hotel Smell like white tape, it's called.

[Christina P]

I figured out because I went up to them, I'm like, your store smells so good. What is it? Capri. Capri Blue. So I bought Capri Blue, and now I.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what that's in your car?

[Christina P]

Smells like.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a. That's a promo. That's a fancy move.

[H. Foley]

Do you guys have air fresheners in the house? Like those plug in things? Yeah, something nice.

[Christina P]

I. I don't have the energy. No, no. Right now it's those sticks from Italy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, those are good. But when those dropped, I thought you were like one of the Kennedys. You go over someone's house, they had one. And I go, whoa.

[H. Foley]

Anyone ever pooped in here?

[Kevin Ryan]

Things are going well.

[Christina P]

Do you want to know what the height of sophistication was in the 90s? Hit me in your drawers if you had like a potpourri.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, yeah, like the bag.

[H. Foley]

I mean, I almost ate one of those. A couple. Yeah. That are like the ones that are like soap. But they were in like, Though you would. Sometimes you would get them at weddings. Yeah, they would be in like, those almost like. Like, like shell shapes, like pantyhose things. They'd be wrapped in Something like that.

[Christina P]

Yeah. Very classy.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Yeah. The bowls were good. They smell like strawberry and stuff. I know you're talking about.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that's pretty good.

[Christina P]

I want to eat those, too. Yeah, but growing up. No, but I will tell you the trashiest inclinations. Like, I want to put car seats on my cars.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like the covers.

[Christina P]

Covers.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like a beaded one. Like a cab driver.

[Christina P]

Not the Indian stepdad, but like a. Like a soft one. And my husband was like, you don't do that, babe.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, no kidding.

[Christina P]

You can just sit on the seat. And I'm like, but it's gonna get ruined, right?

[Kevin Ryan]

It's like the. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You didn't have any plastic on the furniture.

[Christina P]

Of course I did. Of course we did. I think Eastern Europeans are a little bit like black culture. A little bit. Because we laminate our furniture.

[Kevin Ryan]

Laminate. There's a wild way to say that.

[Christina P]

We cover it plastic. We both eat, like, pig's feet and, like, the parts of the animals that are considered, like, not.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christina P]

And then we're both, like, flash. Like, Eastern blockers will show you what's up. Like, this is my gold chain. I love it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

So, like, mad respect Mercedes 100. Like, yeah. Even now I wear, like, Burberry pants sometimes. The checks. And black people love it. I don't know what it is, but, like, black people respect.

[H. Foley]

I've seen that on the show a couple times. You in a Burberry blazer.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

All right.

[Kevin Ryan]

You do dress very nice. We were talking about it before you got here. Because she's gonna come correct. All right. We gotta. We gotta put her. I gotta put my best Dickies jacket.

[H. Foley]

So that would be the things that you splurge on. You like, you. You like looking nice, dressing nice.

[Christina P]

I do.

[H. Foley]

You got the walk in closet, all that kind of stuff.

[Christina P]

Nice closet.

[H. Foley]

Isn't her, I think. Can't remember asking Tom his and her sinks in the. In the bathroom.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Are you peeing in the shower, though?

[Christina P]

Of course I'm pissing in the shower.

[Kevin Ryan]

Brush your teeth in the shower?

[Christina P]

Of course I brush my teeth in the shower.

[Kevin Ryan]

You leave the toothbrush in there?

[Christina P]

Of course I leave my toothbrush.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're a dirt bag lady.

[H. Foley]

You are a real.

[Christina P]

Doesn't everybody?

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[Christina P]

Why?

[Kevin Ryan]

Because it's not fun. I brush my teeth in the shower.

[Christina P]

Every day I brush my teeth.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, but I leave my. My toothbrush doesn't live in the shower.

[Christina P]

Oh, mine lives there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. No, we. I picked it up when you said that. Yeah. Mine doesn't.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Christina P]

Does Tom's no, he's not garbage like me? Like, no.

[H. Foley]

Are you.

[Kevin Ryan]

What kind of toothbrush you just like a regular CVS toothbrush or you got something Good, good.

[Christina P]

I got the. I got an electric toothbrush. Because I'm also very maniacal about my dental hygiene.

[H. Foley]

You floss it every day?

[Christina P]

Of course I floss and I use the sticks and then I throw them on the side of the bed, and my husband gets furious.

[Kevin Ryan]

On the side of the bed because.

[Christina P]

I. I keep the sticks in the drawer next to my bed.

[Kevin Ryan]

And you just drop it on the floor.

[Christina P]

And I taught my son to do it yesterday, too. And he goes, what do I do? That I go, you just put on the side in the back.

[H. Foley]

That's where I put my contacts. And it drives my wife crazy. I just take him out at night and put them right next to my bed.

[Christina P]

Oh, no, I just throw them on the floor.

[H. Foley]

Oh, you have contacts.

[Christina P]

No, flossers. Yeah, I'm. I'm a pig. I'm very gross. I'm. I'm disgusting. I think I'm as bad as Tom, if not worse. Man, I just shower.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're doing your hot. Your hot jumping shower.

[Christina P]

To shower. Like, if I'm in a hotel and doesn't have a bidet because we have the. The wash lit, I will take a. In the toilet, and then I'll go straight to the shower to clean out my ass.

[H. Foley]

No wiping.

[Christina P]

No wiping.

[Kevin Ryan]

You gotta give it a dab. A little dab will do you.

[Christina P]

I think that's. What's the point. I can just shower.

[Kevin Ryan]

Were you planning on showering like you were getting. You were running the shower or. This is like, hey, I got lunch in 20 minutes. I'm gonna. I gotta.

[Christina P]

It's.

[H. Foley]

That's a fat guy move. That's a dump and jump, which I believe you coined dump and jump.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was just trying to think I was calling it a hot jump.

[H. Foley]

I never met a woman.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think he said his mom did it.

[H. Foley]

That's crazy.

[Christina P]

I'm disgusting. Yeah, I'm. I'm. I'm gross like a dude in a lot of ways. Like that. Yeah, definitely. Dump and jump. I like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

If we went over your house right now and I asked for a water, what am I going to get? What can you offer me?

[H. Foley]

You get a switchblade in his stomach.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's up, fatty?

[H. Foley]

Who are you two losers? What?

[Christina P]

A water. Okay, I will say. Here's the deal, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay? This is my deal, Jerry.

[Christina P]

Now, because I have breast cancer, I drink out of. Of glass Containers.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Christina P]

Because of cancer stuff. But Prior. Bro. I don't. A tap. I don't drink out of tap.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay?

[Christina P]

Because I'm from la. That shit's contaminated. I don't care what you tell me. I'm never drinking tap water.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay?

[Christina P]

Even New York. I know in New York they're like. You can drink it. It's so good.

[H. Foley]

Like gotcha.

[Christina P]

Bullshit. So I would give a. Like a water bottle. Plastic.

[Kevin Ryan]

Plastic. Yeah. Just whatever bottle.

[Christina P]

Like a polar spring.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you have a sparkling water available? If I would. If I felt so inclined.

[Christina P]

Of course.

[Kevin Ryan]

A Perrier.

[Christina P]

A Perrier.

[Kevin Ryan]

A Garosteiner.

[Christina P]

Whoa. G. I am eastern black. I love a good soda water. But I do Topo Chico. Because we're in Texas.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Christina P]

They may have a Topo Chico.

[Kevin Ryan]

Thank you.

[Christina P]

Perrier is not bubbly enough.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're saying it wrong. I think you know that. Right? Perrier. Okay. Sounds like a dog.

[H. Foley]

He's a quarterback for the back of barrier.

[Christina P]

What?

[Kevin Ryan]

Half lab.

[H. Foley]

When did you bit by a Perrier? Last night.

[Christina P]

When did you guys have sparkling water for the first time?

[H. Foley]

Sparkling water? Soda.

[Kevin Ryan]

My.

[Christina P]

Is it different?

[H. Foley]

There's. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Like there's a difference between Pellegrino and a fucking swept seltzer. I didn't really swept seltzer back in the day. Pellegrino. About six weeks ago.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. My wife put me onto it. European.

[Christina P]

This European stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Because you just drink it and I didn't. I just started liking it.

[Christina P]

It's so good.

[Kevin Ryan]

It feels like it's biting you back. I don't like it.

[H. Foley]

You getting a bottle of sparkling? Bottle of still.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You're not doing the tap at a restaurant.

[Christina P]

Get on the tap. I told you.

[H. Foley]

Take it easy. Hey.

[Kevin Ryan]

Chubb. Did you hear? The first time.

[Christina P]

Even. Even at my poorest. I was always like. I don't know. I'll take a sippy sip. But I don't.

[Kevin Ryan]

They don't wash.

[H. Foley]

Them glasses.

[Christina P]

They don't wash. And I know because I've worked in.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Christina P]

In. As a cocktail waitress. Don't ever eat a garnish at a bar. You know how disgusting.

[Kevin Ryan]

The only fruit I get.

[Christina P]

No. The nasty waitresses. They touch. Your hands are filthy from waiting.

[H. Foley]

I'm eating the maraschino. Cheers.

[Christina P]

Don't you? Dino?

[H. Foley]

I like how you're my favorite.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think that's our biggest problem. Like.

[Christina P]

Are you kidding?

[H. Foley]

Heart disease. What are you talking about?

[Christina P]

What's the dirtiest thing you eat? Like. What's the dirtiest.

[H. Foley]

I was waiting tables I would eat off people's plates all the time.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've done it too. I've done it last week.

[Christina P]

I am. If they looked clean always.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. If it was like a hot chick or a good looking dude, I'm in.

[Christina P]

I would eat their fries, but I wouldn't eat the primary thing.

[H. Foley]

I would eat everything.

[Christina P]

Really?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Everything?

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Bad.

[Christina P]

So disgusting.

[H. Foley]

You're pooping on yourself. What are you talking about?

[Christina P]

Oh, I've got gross one cigarette butt. There's just like. There's like a little bit on there.

[H. Foley]

Like where's this guy?

[Christina P]

Half a millimeter. It's old. As though it's been sitting in the ashtray outside. It's crusty and old. Do you still smoke it and you're most desperate.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, no.

[H. Foley]

A rained on Sig. Oh, those things hit different.

[Christina P]

Yeah, you wouldn't do that. A butt that's got just a little bit left.

[Kevin Ryan]

I. I'd to go if I had no. I. Yeah, I would figured I'll. I'd go to a buddy's house and say blummy bumousig. I can't do that.

[H. Foley]

Kimmy, what are you thinking so far? What do you think she's sitting at? Just that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think we all should go to therapy after this. Primarily her. But I think I had a little dab. Could do me not. Not too bad either. I mean she's a hundred percent fucking trash, man. Louisiana, Euro Canadian Indian trash.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that trifecta going around the American applause from.

[Christina P]

Do I get a prize?

[H. Foley]

Like you two are both crying.

[Kevin Ryan]

They stand.

[Christina P]

This is so exciting. Can I be? I mean. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean you might be the. You're the queen. I think a new queen has been crowned.

[H. Foley]

We've had a run lately. Yeah, man.

[Christina P]

Thank you so much.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean it's just such an eclectic ver. Like we had Eleanor tell me everything. I mean I love but South Philly trash. So it's like she's so specific. Yours is like. Like lawns on fire. Shootout, hedonism. It's like you're all over them. Kicked out of school. Yours is eclectic.

[H. Foley]

I can't believe you're still throwing the sticks next to the bed. Yeah. Nice house. You're doing well.

[Christina P]

Yeah, like you said, you know, like Roseanne said, you know, we're America's nightmare. We're white trash with money. You're just. You're just garbage.

[Kevin Ryan]

You can't hide it. You can never hide it. You are who you are. It only exists. It only amplifies it.

[Christina P]

Oh yeah. You know how many tracksuits I have now like Adidas.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nice ones too. You go out stunt and show up to the gym. Look at Mercedes tracksuit. Look.

[Christina P]

What's up? Yes. 100 garbage.

[Kevin Ryan]

I love it.

[H. Foley]

What are the name brands on the. On the tracksuits.

[Christina P]

What do you like Adidas, Strictly. No, I don't do. No, I'm telling you. I've tried the rest. Adidas is the best. It's true. There's something. It's just. You know why? Because in Eastern Europe, it's like the currency of. Like, this is.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is. Dude.

[Christina P]

So like, my dad wore them. Them. It's just. I don't know, dude. They look fly. They just like, tight. They fit right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you ever ski in jeans?

[Christina P]

I've never skied.

[Kevin Ryan]

You've never skipped?

[H. Foley]

Holy. Never. What? Oh, my God. You ever been sledding?

[Christina P]

Once. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Probably running from the cops.

[Christina P]

Wait, do you guys ski?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, but we've been skiing.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, at some point.

[Christina P]

What for? It's terrible. It looks terrible. Cold.

[H. Foley]

Holy shit. 100%.

[Christina P]

Thank you.

[H. Foley]

I gotta say. Which. There's been a dethroning of garbage queen over the last couple of months. Jordan Jensen. You had Adrian, but, man, you're coming in number one.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

The new garbage queen, Christina. He. Everybody. Look at you. Her Majesty, ladies and gentlemen.

[Christina P]

Thank you.

[H. Foley]

Jesus.

[Christina P]

Who's the male equivalent? Who's male garbage?

[H. Foley]

Your husband ain't great. I ain't gonna lie to you.

[Christina P]

He's bougier than me.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's Clay. He's a classy guy.

[Christina P]

He taught me how to be.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's. Yeah, he's a very classy guy. Guy.

[Christina P]

Why?

[Kevin Ryan]

It's like, Dusty Slay's really bad. Nate's really bad.

[Christina P]

Nate Bragazzi?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Really? He seems classy. No, he grew up garbage.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh. I mean, yeah.

[Christina P]

Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

His dad's a clown. That was. That's one of the questions.

[H. Foley]

Still holds those tendencies. A lot of fast food getting delivered.

[Kevin Ryan]

To his house without, like, he won't run it by his wife. He'll just, like. Just not even ask her. Hey, I'm getting so they'll just.

[H. Foley]

Secret ops.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Get it delivered. Be like, leave it by the driveway. I'll eat it by the car.

[Christina P]

Can I tell you something in my mind, delivered fast food is such a crime.

[Kevin Ryan]

I agree with you. 100.

[Christina P]

It's an injustice.

[Kevin Ryan]

Unless I'm, like, drunk in a Hotel at 2am you get off your ass.

[Christina P]

You go fucking get that fast food because it's only good for five minutes. Top.

[H. Foley]

How do you eat in the car? I assume. Right?

[Christina P]

Of course.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's up? Or you're probably not growing up or at any point, what were. What did you lean? More like a TGI Fridays and Applebee's and Outback Steakhouse or Ruby Tuesdays. What are you.

[Christina P]

Let me tell you what's up. Every Friday, my dad would take me to the bar at TGI Fridays, the one in San Fernando Valley. Shout out Canoga Avenue. And he shouted out at TGI Friday. That's so good, dude. I've got the Oreo cookie milkshake. And he was hit on ch as an appetizer. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

And he's just there, just spitting. Game playing.

[Christina P]

Now I will say my favorite is the Blooming Onion at Outback steakhouse. That's like 3,000 calories. That should be your home. But my absolute favorite.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is your third favorite.

[H. Foley]

That's how you know she's drink.

[Christina P]

I'm garbage. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Nine favorites.

[Christina P]

Tony Romas.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know it.

[H. Foley]

Tony Romas.

[Christina P]

It's a chain of ribs and it's. It's garbage. Like frozen, and they thaw it out and they give you a. Oh, you're make.

[Kevin Ryan]

Where. It's a chain.

[Christina P]

It was a chain in California. I don't know if it. Yeah, Applebee's. I'm sorry. I know that's sacrilege.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm never time we have for today, folks.

[Christina P]

I've never had a good entree there. I don't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's very middle of the road. There's no zest. There's no pop to it. I agree with you.

[H. Foley]

You're complaining about DeAndre.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's no way to get the potato.

[H. Foley]

Skins and keep it. Keep it moving.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now, Friday's pops.

[Christina P]

It's the top tier.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're it. I love it.

[Christina P]

Yeah, Chili's is great. You get that bourbon chicken. I like that one.

[H. Foley]

I feel like chili's popped after they pop, so they really had that advantage to take it up a notch.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You know what I mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

Who Chili's after. Who pop after?

[H. Foley]

Like, Fridays.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, Friday. Yeah.

[Christina P]

They kind of.

[H. Foley]

They were kind of like the second wave.

[Christina P]

I love TGA Fridays.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now, if you get take out, you get take out to the house occasionally. Yeah. Will you plate that or do you eat it out of the bag?

[Christina P]

What are you doing? Why would you take it out of the box?

[H. Foley]

Are you cooking it all at the house?

[Christina P]

Yeah, I do cook.

[H. Foley]

You're cooking?

[Christina P]

Yes.

[H. Foley]

What's here for breakfast this morning?

[Christina P]

I didn't eat breakfast, just at the er. I was at the hospital.

[Kevin Ryan]

Get a major surgery. You can't eat before.

[H. Foley]

What do you make for the kids? What are they eating?

[Christina P]

Trash? Because they're kids. Nuggies. Grilled cheeses. Mac and cheese out of the box. Old school,'80s.

[Kevin Ryan]

Craft or Velveeta?

[Christina P]

Craft. What are you talking about? Velveeta.

[H. Foley]

You're gonna get punched in the face.

[Christina P]

Velveeta. You like Velveeta?

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, my stepmom and. I mean, we were a blue box America. Like, we were this.

[H. Foley]

She's gonna be.

[Kevin Ryan]

We were the. We were the generic craft family. My mom.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

But then my. My stepmom threw Velveeta with that saucy cheese. Blew my dick in. It was crazy with the shells.

[Christina P]

You always made my stomach hurt. I don't.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, yeah, I had diarrhea. I mean, yeah, I was in the hot. I was in and out of the hospital for stomach cramps most of my. Most of my young life.

[H. Foley]

But really, were you a rice. A Roni fan?

[Christina P]

Too sophisticated. Believe it or not, too hard to make.

[H. Foley]

What about the nor noodles that were in, like, the packet, man?

[Christina P]

You mean top ramen?

[H. Foley]

Top ramen.

[Christina P]

Okay. I do that to my children ramen. And I could put an egg in it. I like to put shaky cheese on it, and that was one of my.

[Kevin Ryan]

Call it shaky cheese.

[Christina P]

Of course it's shaky. It's my favorite kind of cheese.

[H. Foley]

Let me ask you both this, because I thought about this here today, because when. When. When me and my wife were sick, we had top ramen.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you have any shaky cheese on you?

[H. Foley]

We had top ramen. When did you realize that that wasn't actual ramen? When was the first time that you put it two and two together, like, oh, real ramen. This is a version of. This is a fast food version of real ramen.

[Christina P]

Right now.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Really? Two years ago, maybe.

[Christina P]

I literally just never thought about it until you just said that.

[H. Foley]

That's. That was like their. That's their Kraft macaroni and cheese of ramen ramen.

[Christina P]

Hold it. You just. Up my whole life.

[Kevin Ryan]

She's gotta go lay down.

[Christina P]

You just blew my mind.

[H. Foley]

Have you ever had ramen? Like, real ramen?

[Christina P]

Yeah, but I don't like it because it's not top ramen. I don't like it.

[Kevin Ryan]

You. It's in your DNA. You're a dirt bag.

[H. Foley]

Wait, do you guys have the green craft shake cheese in your house right now?

[Christina P]

Yes, two containers, because I have a backup one in case that one goes out fast.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, wait. I mean, we have to do nine more Installments.

[Christina P]

Okay. Okay. I'll let you go. I'll let you go. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I love all that stuff. I love all that.

[H. Foley]

That's crazy. You got good stuff in the house too, though, right?

[Christina P]

Yeah, but who cares, you know?

[Kevin Ryan]

Filet mignon. The hell's that now?

[Christina P]

Tell me. Please tell me. Remember this, and then I'll let you guys go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Christina P]

Frankenstuff hot dogs, please. Look this up. This is the epitome.

[H. Foley]

Frankenstuff.

[Christina P]

Come on.

[H. Foley]

I remember Oscar Meyer cheese dogs with.

[Christina P]

The cheese inside, of course.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, man. Two of those on potato roll buns. Good night.

[Christina P]

Potato roll Buns. Buns.

[H. Foley]

Like Myers potato rolls.

[Christina P]

I don't even know what that is.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's like a classier. It might be an east coast thing. I don't know. It's like a classier buns.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, no, they definitely have potato rolls out here.

[Christina P]

Frank and stuff. Hot dog. They had the chili injected in the middle.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, I remember that. Oh, we talked about packaging.

[Christina P]

I remember. Oh, yeah, dude.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

I could eat that right now.

[H. Foley]

That's right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, you know what? Let's go get some of those.

[H. Foley]

You'll microwave a hot dog, I assume?

[Christina P]

Of course you do.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Is there any other way to make a hot dog?

[Kevin Ryan]

Microwave cheese dog is my favorite. The cheese burst out a little bit.

[Christina P]

Do they still make those dogs?

[Kevin Ryan]

I had them not too long ago.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, we did. We did the best way to cook a hot dog video for Patreon. And we did that as just a little bonus. I just kind of want it one, to be honest with you.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what feels like air fryer.

[Christina P]

The height of sophistication. The little hot. Little Hot dogs in the croissant roll.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, the pigs in a blanket. It's the only reason I go to weddings. Post up by the door.

[H. Foley]

Them and little Smokies. I don't know if you remember.

[Christina P]

Ah, Little Smokies.

[H. Foley]

Hillshire Farms.

[Christina P]

I still get those for my kids. I love Little Smokies.

[H. Foley]

That meant when Hickory Farms was banging.

[Christina P]

I still get it. No, I get the. The sausage rope, the smoked turkey. Yeah, it's really good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really?

[Christina P]

Oh, yeah. They make them.

[H. Foley]

She's getting Hickory Farms, dude.

[Christina P]

Hickory Farm.

[Kevin Ryan]

Are you doing the food shopping now?

[Christina P]

Yeah, I do Instacart. I get. Over the weekend, I get.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, you an heb gal. Whole Foods, they got the best stuff, man.

[Christina P]

Wait, hold on. Bagel Bites.

[H. Foley]

When you walk on heb, you're walking around in there on a Saturday.

[Christina P]

I don't walk around there.

[H. Foley]

I just Just get stalled straight into the cart.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Your Bagel Bites or Tostino's Pizza Old gal.

[Christina P]

Bagel Bites.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Respect.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Those are so good.

[H. Foley]

Pop Tarts or Toaster Strudels?

[Christina P]

And you're gonna. This is very controversial. Both, obviously.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Christina P]

I like plain pop Tarts. I don't like the frosted kind.

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh. That's. Hey, man, you've proved. You've proven with your track record, you're. I'll let that slide.

[H. Foley]

That's the. That's the communism in you right there. That's crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

No fun before noon.

[Christina P]

What? Toastal. Toaster strudels are outstanding.

[Kevin Ryan]

I never. I don't think I've ever had one. We would agree. Those never flew in the house.

[H. Foley]

That was just. That was. That was rich kid does. We weren't getting that. We got off brand pop Tarts called toast them.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, I got great value.

[H. Foley]

They suck.

[Christina P]

You know what I loved about to Toaster Strudel is that it came with its own package of frosting.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Christina P]

And you felt like a king or queen, Like I get to squeeze this.

[H. Foley]

They started doing that with oatmeal too. They gave icing for oatmeal like in the 90s. Remember that? The kids would do the swirl around the oatmeal.

[Christina P]

No.

[H. Foley]

You don't remember that?

[Christina P]

I wasn't eating.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was. No, I don't. With oatmeal.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Yeah. Oatmeal's gross.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't touch it. Don't touch the stuff.

[Christina P]

I don't touch that shit either.

[H. Foley]

All right. You are.

[Christina P]

Thanks, guys. I'm the trash.

[H. Foley]

100% garbage.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, not even close. Nuke new queen. I mean. Well, I'm glad we did it now rather than two years ago.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

We had to make sure our skills are sharpened and you could sniffed it out and it's been.

[Christina P]

Well, Eleanor's pretty garbagey too, so.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, not even. Yeah.

[Christina P]

In her company. Like, I take that as a great offer.

[H. Foley]

What an unbelievable life. What an unbelievable tale. Look where you are now. It's it, it. It. It's absolutely insane. You are the absolute best and we love you.

[Christina P]

I love you so much you guys.

[H. Foley]

Thanks for having anything you want. Anything. Anything you want to hit the folks out there with.

[Christina P]

I don't know. Buy my lipstick. Christinap.com I make some dope ass lipsticks. They're not garbage.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're super fancy. She's a classy girl.

[H. Foley]

There's a lot of class.

[Christina P]

That's it. I love you guys.

[H. Foley]

Thank you so much.

[Kevin Ryan]

Guys, check out the special February 25th on the YouTube page. Tour dates are going with shows are selling out everything available at are you garbage.com gang?

[H. Foley]

We love you, Christina. Again. We love you and we'll see you next week.

[Kevin Ryan]

Peace. Peace.

[Christina P]

Yes.