Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Episode: Classy Gift Guide w/ Sal Vulcano

Date: October 20, 2025
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Guest: Sal Vulcano

Episode Overview

This episode features the always entertaining Sal Vulcano (Impractical Jokers, comedian), joining hosts H. Foley and Kevin Ryan for a marathon discussion about kitchen gadgets, classy gift giving, and what makes a home (or a person) "garbage" or "classy." Packed with playful banter, hilarious stories, and deep dives into the most (and least) practical household appliances, the episode is part kitchen confessional, part buddy roast, and part ode to over-the-top gift giving. Sal’s growing addiction to high-end espresso machines and the guys’ relentless curiosity turn a single question about kitchen counters into a 55-minute comedy odyssey.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Sal’s Hair Routine: A Science and an Art

• Sal breaks down his post-shower hat technique for keeping his hair in optimal condition.
• "I get out of the shower, I put on a hat, I wait for it to dry within the hat... Then I take it off, I put my hand through it, and I hope for the best. It doesn’t always work." – Sal Vulcano [03:34]
• The group debates the effectiveness of hair dryers, Dyson Airwraps, and diffusers.
• Sal admits to buying the professional Dyson by faking salon credentials, and details how he uses the device for more than just hair.

2. Classy Gift Giving: The Breville Espresso Machine Caper

• Sal is obsessed with his decade-old Breville espresso machine. As a precaution, he bought four at half price during a friends-and-family deal—one for himself, one for the tipster, two as future gifts.
• "I bought four... I spent $2,000 and I bought $4,000 worth of machines." – Sal Vulcano [34:48]
• Foley and Ryan are floored by the foresight (and slight madness) of doomsday prepping with espresso machines, especially since Sal just started drinking coffee three months ago.
• Sal pledges to gift one to the hosts’ studio if they promise to display it front and center. [37:32]

3. Countertop Confessions: What’s on Sal’s Kitchen Counter?

• Sal gives a “guided tour” of the appliances and objects on his kitchen counter, a list that reveals both sophistication and a touch of excess, including:
  • Breville espresso machine (the hero appliance)
  • Balmuda Japanese steam toaster oven ("You haven't had toast!")
  • Two-tier rose gold fruit and snack bowl
  • Mortar and pestle (frequently in use)
  • Decorative and functional items: potted plants (cactus), fresh flowers, custom weed jar, cookbook collection, and a knife magnet
  • "We have like 60, 70 plants in the house... I'm not responsible for any of them." – Sal Vulcano [47:54]
• Runner-up stories: Smuggling in an air fryer from Joey Fatone, surviving a strict “no clutter” countertop rule from his wife, and intricacies of displaying oils and salts in decorative bowls.

4. Household Economics: Gift Prep and Appliance Hoarding

• The saga of Sal purchasing extra high-end appliances to hoard as gifts for friends ("...no one would ever know I got 50% off...").
• Foley and Ryan probe the ethics and logic of “pre-buying” extravagant gifts, and openly plot to sell the studio Breville on Craigslist.
• Sal laughs off future “gift drama” scenarios with characteristic charm.

5. Cash Discounts & The Barter Economy

• Discussion turns to the etiquette and street smarts of negotiating cash discounts for home repairs.
  • Sal: "I'm not someone that, like, has that in the back pocket all the time... I'm not looking to get anything over on anybody, per se. But also that’s just being a smart consumer." [59:47]
• The concept of the “steady guy”—your personal handyman, car guy, or cleaning lady—comes up, with Sal describing his affection for his daughter greeting their handyman, Voitek, every morning.

6. Pawn Shop Trades & Peak Garbage Barter Stories

• Listener story: Trading pawn shop goods (shotguns and TVs) for orthodontic services and pizza gift cards.
  • Sal: "That’s trash... but that's again, he's a smart consumer. I respect the barter system—it goes back to biblical times." [63:19]

7. Nostalgia & Music: Car Stereos and Sentimental Value

• The hosts reminisce about their first cars, the joy of five-disc CD changers, and driving around with a boombox when a tape or CD player wasn't available.
• Extended asides on Reliant K, Lisa Loeb, and Sarah McLachlan, plus a detour about the proper music for sad animal commercials.

8. Sal’s New Project and Tour Details

• Sal plugs his upcoming talk show “Minouche” ("Minutia"), which combines conversation, sketches, and big-name guests, coming to YouTube.
• He reiterates tour dates:
  • Chicago Theatre, Nov 14th
  • Beacon Theatre, NYC, Dec 29th
  • “Terrified” special streaming on HBO Max

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Hair Drying Techniques:
  "You put on a hat, you let it air dry under the hat, and then you hope for the best. It's not an exact science." – Sal Vulcano [03:34]

• On Appliance Prepper Life:
  "You’re doomsday prepping on espresso machines." – H. Foley [35:21]
  "For a guy who just started drinking coffee three months ago, you’re really f***ing committed." – Kevin Ryan [35:52]

• On the Toast Revolution:
  "You haven't had toast. Guys, look at me. I promise you right now, let's make a blood oath – no, you haven't had toast." – Sal Vulcano [45:06]
  (Describing his Japanese Balmuda toaster, which adds steam for the “perfect toast”)

• On the Joy of Counter Plants:
  "We have like 60, 70 plants in the house... it really adds a vibrancy and a livelihood." – Sal Vulcano [47:54]

• On Gift Drama:
  "What happens if the manager ends up at the guy who gave me the tip’s house? 'Sal gave me the exact same one.' They do know each other—I’ve introduced them. Should have never done that." – Sal Vulcano [36:36]

• On Bartering Trashiness:
  "I respect the barter system—goes back to biblical times." – Sal Vulcano [63:19]

Time-stamped Guide to Important Segments

00:53 – 03:34: Sal’s hat/hair drying routine and Dyson confession
07:02 – 08:23: Hair products and photo shoot stories
13:09 – 16:08: The John Mayer concert tee sketch and John Mayer friendship origin story
21:13 – 37:40: The Breville espresso machine saga and appliance hoarding
41:14 – 54:55: Sal narrates every appliance and object on his kitchen counter (Breville, Balmuda toaster, plants, fruit bowl, olive oils, mortar and pestle, weed jar, utensils, cookbooks, knife magnet)
59:01 – 61:39: Cash discounts, vendors, and the "steady guys" (handyman Voitek stories)
62:13 – 63:26: Pawn shop barter story and garbage bartering discussion
64:16 – 66:56: Nostalgia about car stereos, boomboxes, cassettes, and 90s music
69:05 – 71:20: Sal plugs new talk show “Minouche” and gives upcoming tour details

Closing Notes

The episode mixes real-life homeownership anxieties, blue-collar savvy, and aspirational gadget love, all filtered through the guys’ trademark style: quick-witted, self-effacing, and completely incapable of giving a short answer to any question. Sal’s obsession with both high-end gifts and daily convenience turns what starts as a joke about being “garbage” into an earnest, hilarious exploration of what really makes a home feel special.

For fans, this is a goldmine of Sal lore, appliance recommendations, and proof that sometimes the classiest gifts are the ones you bought in bulk on a technicality.

For more info on Sal’s tour and new projects, visit:

• salvulcanocomedy.com
• “Terrified” streaming now on HBO Max
• “Minouche” (minutia) coming soon to YouTube

Tickets for The Boys’ Big Philly Show:

• rugarbage.com

“I love it. You got it. Because you get the feeling for it.” – Sal Vulcano, on why he keeps returning to Are You Garbage? [67:24]