Credit Card Fraud w/ Kippy & Foley!

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Credit Card Fraud w/ Kippy & Foley!" Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast | Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley | Released January 30, 2025

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Introduction and Tour Announcements

The episode kicks off with hosts H. Foley and Kevin Ryan hyping up their upcoming "Back on the Block" tour. They announce tour dates across various cities including Pontiac, Michigan; Indianapolis, Indiana; Milwaukee, Wisconsin; and more. Enthusiastically, they encourage listeners to grab tickets before they sell out.

Notable Quote:

• H. Foley [00:00]: "The boys are back on the road for the back on the block four, baby."

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Show Concept and Hosts' Banter

H. Foley introduces the core concept of the show, explaining how they determine whether guests are "garbage" or classy. The playful dynamic between Foley and Ryan is evident as they tease each other about personal mishaps and quirks.

Notable Quotes:

• H. Foley [00:31]: "Are you Garbage? It’s that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's good to be classy. Just a big old piece of trash."
• Kevin Ryan [02:07]: "What’s up gang? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in as always."

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Gift-Giving and Personal Stories

A significant portion of the episode revolves around the hosts exchanging gifts and sharing humorous anecdotes about their experiences. They discuss items like Mezzo Mix (a Fanta and Coca Cola mix), GI Joe memorabilia, and credit card strategies.

Notable Quotes:

• H. Foley [04:25]: "We're in here doing shit. We're not out there hobnobbing some."
• Kevin Ryan [08:27]: "Lucy has a 30-day refund policy, so if you change your mind again, that's Lucy co."

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Food Discussions and Preferences

The conversation shifts to various food topics, including the best ways to enjoy hummus, preferences for different types of dips, and the controversies surrounding frozen foods like chicken nuggets and veggie burgers. The hosts debate the merits of eating certain foods in unconventional ways, emphasizing their comedic takes on everyday eating habits.

Notable Quotes:

• Kevin Ryan [06:06]: "I would have it like I was drug money. Like, how you doing? I found bubblegum money into you."
• H. Foley [33:02]: "That's madman."
• Kevin Ryan [61:10]: "I used to eat them as a kid. They hit different."

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Credit Card Strategies and Financial Humor

In line with the episode’s title, Foley and Ryan engage in a witty and convoluted discussion about credit card usage, revolving credit, and the pitfalls of credit card scams. Their banter highlights misunderstandings and humorous takes on financial concepts, making the topic entertaining despite its complexity.

Notable Quotes:

• Kevin Ryan [44:33]: "These guys are idiotic. I give them the money they get, they loan me more money."
• H. Foley [48:34]: "It's a revolving door."

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Listener Questions and “Are You Garbage?” Segment

The hosts address listener-submitted questions, evaluating everyday actions to determine if they qualify as "garbage." Topics range from improper attire practices to questionable dining etiquette, all delivered with the hosts' signature humor.

Notable Quotes:

• Kevin Ryan [53:24]: "That's crazy. As a bigger man, you might weigh in on this one."
• H. Foley [54:00]: "Always do. I'm like a fireman. I jump right into those babies."

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Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, Foley and Ryan reinforce their appreciation for listeners, promote their tour, and encourage audience engagement through various platforms. They maintain their comedic rapport, leaving listeners entertained and eager for the next episode.

Notable Quote:

• H. Foley [68:58]: "We love you to death. Grab those tickets for the tour. Like hippie said, we're not bullshitting."

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Key Takeaways

• Dynamic Host Interaction: Foley and Ryan’s chemistry drives the episode, blending personal stories with comedic insights.
• Engaging Topics: From food preferences to financial antics, the hosts cover a wide array of subjects, keeping the content fresh and relatable.
• Humorous Evaluations: The “Are You Garbage?” segment provides entertaining assessments of everyday actions, aligning with the show's playful premise.
• Listener Engagement: By addressing audience questions and incorporating their feedback, the hosts foster a strong connection with their listeners.

Conclusion

"Credit Card Fraud w/ Kippy & Foley!" exemplifies the humor and camaraderie that define the "Are You Garbage?" podcast. With a mix of personal anecdotes, playful debates, and engaging segments, hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley deliver an episode that's both entertaining and memorable for their audience.

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Happy Listening! Whether you're a long-time fan or new to the show, this episode offers a delightful blend of comedy and candid conversation that will keep you laughing from start to finish.

Transcript

[H. Foley]

Attention, attention. Army of garbage. The boys are back on the road for the back on the block four, baby. Talking about stand up comedy. Plus we play are you Garbage? Live with the crowd. It's a great way to introduce people to the show. So grab the squad, come out and see us.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, we're this march we're starting in Pontiac, Michigan. Indianapolis, Indiana, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Madison, Wisconsin, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Cleveland, Ohio, Atlantic City, New Jersey. And gang tickets are going quick. Get them while supplies last. The boys are coming to town. See you out.

[H. Foley]

Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RU Garbage. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's good to be classy. Just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host, H. Foley. Coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tooties in the new edition. She's out in the driveway shooting some hoops.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

I don't know what you were expecting. Okay, that's an H. Foley original. I'm back baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can't tell me nothing.

[H. Foley]

She's out there with the sky hook the underhand, the whole nine yards. Okay, now freezing out there too.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now you're it's no game.

[H. Foley]

Balls as hard as a rock.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh.

[H. Foley]

Mike Oz is coming at you from across the table. This is what we call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos and the homies like to circle the wagons a little bit. He is the CEO of Are you garbage? He is an international businessman and unfortunately my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ Kevin J.

[Kevin Ryan]

That unfortunate for because I don't think it's great for either one of us if we're being honest. I believe all parties involve all parties involved. We, we both got a raw deal in this one.

[H. Foley]

I got a raw deal from Jump. This guy stinks.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's up gang? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in as always. Please make sure you rate view subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. And now Spotify, baby. Full video available on Spotify. Then obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com garbage. You go over there, you get all your bonus content. You get to ask your garbage question on the air.

[H. Foley]

Shout out to the homies.

[Kevin Ryan]

Also go over to www.rugarbage.com for the Back on the Block tour, baby. The boys are hitting the road starting in March, April. It's gonna be a good time. We got Pontiac, Michigan tickets for that. I don't even know about it. I don't even know if they're gonna be available by the time this airs. You got Pontiac, Michigan, you got Indianapolis, Indiana, you got Milwaukee, you got Madison, Wisconsin ticket. I'm tickets or 75% gone.

[H. Foley]

Tickets are moving.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're going to move.

[H. Foley]

And we appreciate it.

[Kevin Ryan]

And we love you.

[H. Foley]

And we love you.

[Kevin Ryan]

We got Minneapolis, Minnesota. We got Pittsburgh, we got Cleveland and we got Atlantic City. The boys are going down ashore to summer. That's in the summertime.

[H. Foley]

Summer, August, it's July. July. And we're playing July. I'm on a heater too.

[Kevin Ryan]

And we're planning more dates for, for the fall as well. So get them ticky.

[H. Foley]

I love it. Get down to the tables down there.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm off it now.

[H. Foley]

I'm on a heater. Ever since Parks, baby. I can't lose.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

22 black, baby. Look out, I'm coming for you. I can see it at night.

[Kevin Ryan]

I could see it.

[H. Foley]

I could see it. 7, 22, 43. Pf Changs. Boom, boom, boom. We did have Asian that night, if I. If I recall.

[Kevin Ryan]

We did.

[H. Foley]

We went to a knockoff. PF Changs.

[Kevin Ryan]

PF Wangs. Pull your beater out, sir. Put pants on, shout out to PF Changs.

[H. Foley]

Okay, okay. I've soured on them a little bit, to be honest with you.

[Kevin Ryan]

You find one pube in your chicken, all of a sudden we can't go there no more.

[H. Foley]

You're too good.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got a little present for you.

[H. Foley]

You do?

[Kevin Ryan]

I do. After you've been treating me fucking like an asshole.

[H. Foley]

You've had a rough morning.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's also. It was a rough morning. And then we.

[H. Foley]

That's the way it is when you're. Crack a little heads, every once in a while you butt heads, you gotta break some eggs. We're in here doing shit. We're not out there hobnobbin'some.

[Kevin Ryan]

Of us are doing shit.

[H. Foley]

Doing a lot of shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

I had to put you in a room and make you work for 15 minutes today. That's brutal. And then we started at. Me and Luke started having a fun conversation and he's going, hey, knock it off. Hey, stop.

[H. Foley]

Man. If my breakfast hadn't gotten there in time, I don't know what I was gonna do. Woo wee. Now what do you got for me? Is it money?

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[H. Foley]

Okay. Better, Better Than money.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh. In your. In your economy. Food Close. So I was over food money. Money I can eat.

[H. Foley]

She got me chocolate money.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you remember the bubble gum wallet by any chance?

[H. Foley]

What the fuck?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Oh yeah. The dollar bid. They had dollar. It was like a wall. You open it up and like a bunch of. You know how like the pictures, whatever. It would fall down kind of.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

They had bunch of plastic sleeves with like. They were this big and that. The dollar bills were mud that were gum.

[H. Foley]

Was the wallet made a gum too?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't think so.

[H. Foley]

I don't remember that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Imagine like a checkbook. And it went.

[H. Foley]

You got to pull this up.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got to see this. You got eyes on that. Is it a bazooka product, buddy?

[H. Foley]

I mean love.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean they are the. They are at the head of.

[H. Foley]

Love me some bazooka. Especially the purple. The grape. I'd really get you. Why do I have a pen?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know.

[H. Foley]

Because you.

[Kevin Ryan]

You were doing work this morning. I think it was wallet's bubble gum. That might be it. I don't know. I mean I don't think I'm gonna be able to find this. I remember my mom saying, no way. And then I went somewhere with my dad and he was like, yeah, I don't care, man. I showed up to my mom counting bubble gum money like it was a tubi. I had it like I was drug money. Like, how you doing? I found bubblegum money into you.

[H. Foley]

Couple of Cheez. Its for me and the boys. Huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't think I'm gonna. It was a wallet and like you know, you slid into little plastic. They were about this big and you just. It was like eating paper gum.

[H. Foley]

Listen, you know, I'm a product of the 80s. That shit was huge.

[Kevin Ryan]

Were you born in the 60s?

[H. Foley]

Born in 1976 but I was a child of the 80s.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

A product of the 70s though.

[H. Foley]

A product of the 70s.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh huh.

[H. Foley]

Mindset of the 50s, huh? Am I right? Nothing on that.

[Kevin Ryan]

A woman in the kitchen.

[H. Foley]

I like a pot roast.

[Kevin Ryan]

I like to eat on Sunday at the same time every week.

[H. Foley]

Ah, we didn't really talk about that.

[Kevin Ryan]

You talk about that all the time.

[H. Foley]

What?

[Kevin Ryan]

Eating on Sundays?

[H. Foley]

No, we are from the generation is different enough.

[Kevin Ryan]

Where.

[H. Foley]

And we didn't really do this but my. My aunt and uncle who were a little bit older. Shout out to Emory Catherine and Uncle Red. They. They ate supper. We might have talked about this lightly. Do you know what supper is?

[Kevin Ryan]

Dinner.

[H. Foley]

Now supper's at like 2:00 okay. The big meal was at like 2:00. Then he had a little something later on, little sandwich, something like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Lunch at a late lunch. Big lunch.

[H. Foley]

No, it was called supper.

[Kevin Ryan]

I understand what you're calling it, but if you eat it too, that's fucking lunch in my book.

[H. Foley]

Not if it's like pot roast and fucking mashed potatoes and stuff like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

First of all, who's eating that for lunch? I mean, you're.

[H. Foley]

Gimme that as a present. I like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

So, as you know, I was over in Europe visiting the in laws, doing a little international business.

[H. Foley]

That's right. You're falling down the steps from what I remember.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure that happened.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

I brought you a present.

[H. Foley]

I don't see it on you.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's in my mind. It's right here.

[H. Foley]

Oh, okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry about everything this morning.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, fucking it. Meanwhile, I'm sitting there knowingly, I'm about to blow your mind. And you're just being a fucking.

[H. Foley]

You're gonna blow my mind, huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

I think so. Nice guy.

[H. Foley]

Is it candy? No, because you wouldn't get me anything that I would want to eat these days because you say I'm gonna die.

[Kevin Ryan]

Unalive, I think is the term.

[H. Foley]

But it's food. You said it was food.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's in that world.

[H. Foley]

It's gum, it's candy.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I just give me it. It's a beverage.

[H. Foley]

A beverage.

[Kevin Ryan]

A German delicacy.

[H. Foley]

Orangina.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it's called booze in it. No, we've loosely drugs in it. It's called Meso mix. Okay, It's Fanta and Coca Cola premixed in a bottle.

[H. Foley]

Let's see. Whoa. And it's cold.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh.

[H. Foley]

Mezzo mix.

[Kevin Ryan]

I figured. So this is orange from 19. This is Fanta. They'll even make it if they don't have it. You go to a restaurant, you'll be like, let me get a fucking. So give you both.

[H. Foley]

Orange Coke, I guess, essentially Fanta. Fanta orange.

[Kevin Ryan]

I believe so. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Meso mix.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what I was told.

[H. Foley]

See, the Europeans, they do this. Take a look at this.

[Kevin Ryan]

The law. You gotta keep the cap attached to the bottle.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, you just gotta rip that off.

[Kevin Ryan]

Usa. Cheers.

[H. Foley]

Thank you, my friend. I appreciate it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Only one. You get two sips. You get the first sip. You don't get the. You don't get to crush the. I was gonna get the diet. What can I. That's not the full thing.

[H. Foley]

What kind of present is that if.

[Kevin Ryan]

I brought you Diet Coke? You just start slugging. All right. Don't chug it. You're stopping.

[H. Foley]

Gluttonous. That's fucking fantastic.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's all right. It's got a little hint to it. It's Fanta off rip, then goes Cola. Then. Then turns the corner back to Fanta a little bit.

[H. Foley]

Can I tell you what it tastes like?

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Haribo Gummy colas.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

That's delicious.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right. Easy does it. Gotta wet the bed. I used to get that all the time. Like Fuller wet the bed.

[H. Foley]

You were a wetter. Thank you. Can I drink this?

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

Can I have this?

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. I mean, what are we gonna. Give it back to me.

[H. Foley]

Man. That's all right.

[Kevin Ryan]

I brought you. I brought you sodas. From. From far away. You're like. You're like a king in the 1300s, wanting spices and stuff from a far away land. Oh, yes. Yes. How do you mean? How'd I get it over here? I bought it at the goddamn airport at jfk.

[H. Foley]

What, in Germany?

[Kevin Ryan]

It's from Germany.

[H. Foley]

Oh, you bought it after security. You put that in a carry on for me?

[Kevin Ryan]

I did.

[H. Foley]

Wow, thanks, buddy. With the bad back and everything.

[Kevin Ryan]

With everything.

[H. Foley]

You still thought of me?

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh.

[H. Foley]

Aw. I love you. Thank you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sometimes.

[H. Foley]

I love you to death. What are you talking about?

[Kevin Ryan]

To death?

[H. Foley]

You're my best friend till you kill me.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what it's all about.

[H. Foley]

Come on. These pants got no give. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why are you wearing trousers?

[H. Foley]

Because it's cold and them jeans are thin.

[Kevin Ryan]

That. Dude. That is a bad luck. That is the toughest of all, seeing me.

[H. Foley]

I come here and I go home, put my gym on. I go down here and work. I'm not working on my pants.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, you like. You sneak that in? I put my gym stuff on. Was that. What's it with your athletic trousers you throw on? What are they, your cat? Your Dockers? Put on my Dockers, in my brown belt, my New Balance shoes, and I go walk on the treadmill.

[H. Foley]

I like to work out in a suit. Thank you. That's very sweet of you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Love it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Where's my gift?

[H. Foley]

I got something for you at the house.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah? What'd you get? I haven't got a gift from you in a long time.

[H. Foley]

I got you fucking Christmas present, you son of a bitch.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's normal. That's an exchange.

[H. Foley]

You haven't even opened it, by the way.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

My Christmas present. The Craig.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a Craig baby.

[H. Foley]

By the way.

[Kevin Ryan]

You just got me a gift. You didn't get me Anything in. Anywhere in Hawaii. You didn't bring back a souvenir or nothing.

[H. Foley]

You were there, dickhead.

[Kevin Ryan]

See, now you're lashing out at me.

[H. Foley]

Got you a heater. I'll get you a nice present. I don't know what to get you. You're a curmudgeon. What am I gonna do with this? Doesn't matter what I get a curmudgeon.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got me a $12 fucking disc. Knockoff disc, man.

[H. Foley]

Was that $12?

[Kevin Ryan]

I spent $500 on you.

[H. Foley]

Oh, that's real nice, to throw it in somebody's face months later.

[Kevin Ryan]

I did. I think I did it the day of, too, if I remember correct. I think I pulled out the receipt.

[H. Foley]

I love my GI Joe headquarters.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's got to go, too. You got that set up on the. On the coffee table. I told you not to do it. What? Just for a day or two. It's been fucking well over a month.

[H. Foley]

And every single person that's come in here has commented on.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, because you go. No, no, because you. They come in, you go, look at my GI Joe thing, and all these people have to go, oh, whoa, cool.

[H. Foley]

Seinfeld was just here.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do your kids come to work with you? That's what they said. Do you bring your kids to work? Nah, that's for me. That's me. Do you like my trousers?

[H. Foley]

I'm off jeans, not off jeans. Let's not get crazy. I'm just waiting till the cold snaps over because it really. The chafing and the fucking. The dry skin.

[Kevin Ryan]

Bad.

[H. Foley]

It's cold.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. I. Yeah, I'm with it.

[H. Foley]

Anyway, thank you for the present.

[Kevin Ryan]

For sure. I'll be waiting. I'll be waiting on mine.

[H. Foley]

Okay. We'll have to think of something good to get him. No.

[Kevin Ryan]

What is this? Oh, now it's my problem? You just pulling that off on the. Luke.

[H. Foley]

We're kind of one entity against you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Or opposite of you, that's what.

[H. Foley]

Not against you.

[Kevin Ryan]

You think we're every. It's a battle every time with you folks.

[H. Foley]

That's meso mix.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, we gotta get stuck in some fucking East German money.

[H. Foley]

Oh, that'd be nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mezzo mix they're trying. What? It's a West German product.

[H. Foley]

Ooh, old school.

[Kevin Ryan]

Cheers to the good guys. Here's to the Allies. Baby.

[H. Foley]

Made fresh every day at Checkpoint Charlie. Would Checkpoint Charlie have been as popular if it didn't have such a zippy name? If it was like Checkpoint Dan or something like that? Might have been one of the dumbest things I'VE ever said.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. What are you, a Catskills comedian? What the hell? He's got soda on the brain that's gonna make your teeth fall out. That's double the suggies, dad.

[H. Foley]

Is it?

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, I don't know. Probably not. That's. You know. The Germans keep it tight, but it's crazy. Germans would have that like once a month.

[H. Foley]

I'd be crushing this. This is Debbie. Might this be my drink?

[Kevin Ryan]

I went next to the bedstand. Makeup in the middle of the night.

[H. Foley]

That'd be it.

[Kevin Ryan]

A warm mezze.

[H. Foley]

Oh, yeah. Messy. And a schnitzie. Shout out to a schnitzel. That's pretty good.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's get it. Enough messing around here. We got business to attend to, gang. As you know, it's a family doing.

[H. Foley]

A program here, a show.

[Kevin Ryan]

Know when you sign up for the old Patreon, we will answer your garbage question on the air. The homies get the first crack at it and we're working through them. This one's just funny. And it's a shot at me, which I respect. It's just from Garrett. My kid only wants the goldfish crackers. Does that mean he's destined to be bald? It ain't a good sign, Balfam. Being honest with you. It's a lot of red number four or whatever.

[H. Foley]

That's bad news. They got that in there?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. Find out if. How dangerous.

[H. Foley]

Who's on that hit list. Who's on something topical. We could talk about.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

That they're getting rid of red 40 or something like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Red number three or four. Yeah, I think it's in like, Kool Aid lipstick, You know. That's how you're looking at me for jail. That's the lipstick they use. I know Kool Aid on.

[H. Foley]

I know.

[Kevin Ryan]

Start smooching with you.

[H. Foley]

And at certain clubs on the weekends.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to Christopher Street. Luke. I got an article. Why goldfish don't belong in the lunchbox. Whoa.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right. Well, that's fucking. That's East German propaganda if I've ever.

[H. Foley]

Heard it written by Fidel Castro.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. What the hell is that with that?

[H. Foley]

Of course they don't. You know, I saw I turned out.

[Kevin Ryan]

To be all right.

[H. Foley]

I saw I falls out cat. Let's talk about Lucy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to that sweet, sweet Lucy.

[H. Foley]

Let'S talk about 100% pure, uncut nicotine. Tobacco free Lucy breakers or nicotine pouch. It was an extra surprise. Each pouch holds a capsule that can be broken open to release a little extra flavor and hydration.

[Kevin Ryan]

A little bit of that boom. Yeah, let's. Let's spark it up a bit.

[H. Foley]

I'm a fan of the mango and I like the citrus berry. Any citrus berry combo is good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Big man likes a Lucy.

[H. Foley]

I do.

[Kevin Ryan]

Guy's in there, he's popping them, he's eating them. How you doing? How you doing? Every time I turn around, this guy's Lucy, this Lucy, that key. He's all over the stuff. So level up your nicotine routine with Lucy. Go to Lucy Co Garbage and use the promo code GARBAGE to get 20% off your first order. That ain't nothing to shake a stick at. Lucy has a 30 day refund policy, so if you change your mind again, that's Lucy co. Use the code garbage, you get 20% off. And here comes the fine print, gang. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age. And every order is age verified, baby.

[H. Foley]

There you go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Warning. This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

[H. Foley]

Kev, let's talk about Acorns.

[Kevin Ryan]

Acorns. Acorns. Acorns.

[H. Foley]

I'm an acorns man through and through. You got me involved now. I'm in the game, baby. I'm putting it away.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know it's a good time for.

[H. Foley]

All you dirtbags out there. If Uncle Hank's doing it, believe me, you could do it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Putting a couple hundy a week away. Slide it in there and they show you the potential. What you could have. Big man's chasing that number when I'm 88 years old.

[Kevin Ryan]

Stakes on me.

[H. Foley]

Buy and sell you. That's what I'm talking about, guys. Shout out to Acorns. Do yourself a favor. Get over to Acorns. Acorns makes it easy to start automatically saving and investing so your money has a chance to grow for you, your kids, and your retirement. You don't need to be an expert. All right? Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that fits you and your money goals. You also don't need to be rich. Thank God Acorns lets you invest your spare money. Right off the jump, right off the rip. You can get it going, link it to your account, and you're in. You're in the game, baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. You can start with $5 or just your spare change. We're both acorns, guys. It's been the only way I've been able to squirrel away money. It's fantastic. I'm horrible with money. I'm horrible at savings. Acorns takes it out of your hands and puts it in easy peasy situation daddio. So head to acorns.com garbage or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing your future today. This is paid client endorsement compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns Tier one compensation provided invests involves risk. Acorn Advisors LLC is an SEC registered investment advisor. View important [e-mail] garbage do it I.

[H. Foley]

Saw a mutual friend of ours had posted. Maybe it was a story of their kids. Lunchbox. Very nutritious. A lot of fruits and vegetables. None of that. None of the bullshit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

But I know most parents that I know that have kids, they don't give a fuck. Like it hasn't translated over.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's bad. I think where people have kids they are trying like we're only gonna do the organic and apples and fruits and berries. Screaming Then he goes to school and he meets me and I'm the goldfish God. I'm out there dishing it out. You know what I mean? I got hamburgers, Whoppers. I got the fries that'll cross your eyes. I got the shakes that'll make you quake. I got the burgers. I just got burgers.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You can't shout out to Cheeseburger Eddie.

[H. Foley]

You can't. You can't fight that. Once they're out there in the world. I think it's weird a kid start smoking cigarettes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Obviously. Obviously. I don't know nothing about parenting but I every time I cross paths with a kid who was a little crunchy in that sense.

[H. Foley]

What do you mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

Like I can't eat at your house or your hat. You know meth heads? No, but it's just so you're just like that. They get ostracized unfortunately. A little bit your parents are hippies or tree huggers or you know what I mean? They're not wearing shoes and shit.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I remember the first. My one buddy.

[Kevin Ryan]

All because like you couldn't have fruit by the foot. I'm like a loser.

[H. Foley]

Michael, my one good buddy growing up. I remember seeing Amy's instead of like regular frozen stuff in his freezer. Oh that it was Amy's. And this was like 92. My mom told me I couldn't go over there anymore.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. That's nuts to me. I might as well been tofu. That's nuts, dude. Amy's. Amy's in the 90s or whatever that was like you were at Woodstock. Get out of here, you dirty hippies. Put some shoes. If you saw Amy's That's a mom who don't shave her legs.

[H. Foley]

And she's got weed in the house somewhere.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

So, boys, start tossing this place.

[Kevin Ryan]

Start flipping a mattress.

[H. Foley]

I know there's fucking dope in here.

[Kevin Ryan]

Little Panama Rich.

[H. Foley]

Ah, that was that. And like a little patchouli smell or like a little oil smell when you walked in. He was my one friend that was like, very far in that direction. And, man, these guys got weed near.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude. Yeah. That's a start flipping. Yeah, that's as. Yeah, yeah. It's tough, unfortunately, that. That kid is like, you're, you know, talking about him 40 years later.

[H. Foley]

Crazy, huh? And like, this was pre Whole Foods. I think it was called Fresh Fields. Was the. Was the chain or how. I don't know how many there were in our area. I assume Whole Foods just bought up all those different kinds of places like that and just made them one. But it was like. Yeah, it was like organic oats instead of Honey Nut Cheerios. Yeah. Also, too. You'll probably remember this. There was a. There was a lemonade. There was a juice bottle called Santa Cruz or something like that. It was like organic lemonade. It was good as shit, but it was like 12 bucks. Go in there and crush that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. They had all that weed.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Anytime the houses had that kind of stuff, I was like, buddy, let's call and get a za delivered. What are we doing? This is nuts.

[H. Foley]

The first time I had swordfish.

[Kevin Ryan]

I told you that. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

What?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, Any Wednesday. What was it? It's the same time, like, there was a threshold of when those natural. More natural products were.

[H. Foley]

I think it was when you were a kid when. When as you were getting into that was becoming way more acceptable.

[Kevin Ryan]

High school. Yeah. But if you would go over.

[H. Foley]

First time I ever seen a turkey burger.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, like the Garden or Morning. Morning Garden.

[H. Foley]

Those are the frozen veggie burgers, dude.

[Kevin Ryan]

Those frozen. Those frozen burgers. I was like, yeah. They're like, we're doing burgers. I'm like, you're. You're doing. You're doing salads. What are you talking about?

[H. Foley]

You talking about those frozen veggie burgers?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. The good mornings are still in the green box. Morning Star Farms. Morning Star Farms.

[H. Foley]

Morning Star. I'll see you later. Get the fuck out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Grab a Sizzly. That and dude, I remember my boy Flip, his parents had Kashi, and I was like, dude, what in the world is. Get me some Frosted Flakes, dude. Kashi, in a seventh grade sleepover, you wake up in the morning, they Hate you. And the boxes were so small. Like what are we all going to. We just put a cup of this.

[H. Foley]

There is no amount of sugar that can save. You gotta be high as to enjoy a bowl.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've never touched it.

[H. Foley]

Oh my God. You ever have that?

[Kevin Ryan]

Of course, man.

[H. Foley]

The box.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'd rather eat the box than this stuff.

[H. Foley]

Inside the box is a guy reading the newspaper.

[Kevin Ryan]

God. Dude, that stuff was brutal.

[H. Foley]

That I hate.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude. I hate it.

[H. Foley]

Morning Star farms. These are pretty good.

[Kevin Ryan]

You can't tell the difference. Okay.

[H. Foley]

No, those are veggie patties. Which they aren't. They aren't. They're not that bad in a pinch. But turkey burgers started coming around. That's when the movement really started.

[Kevin Ryan]

I never remember. I know. I don't remember when they hit. They might have not hit up for me up until I was up here. Turkey burgers.

[H. Foley]

We took two steps forward and two steps back. We went. We went. Turkey burgers. I think maybe early 90s, 92, 93 at the house. Yeah. Patty, she was doing turkey burgers. They're better for you.

[Kevin Ryan]

I can. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

She would also fuck up a hamburger too. Just burn it. But then Bubba Burger said right back.

[Kevin Ryan]

Straight back to the boys. Straight back. What the. Was it the Bubba burgers that were Philadelphia branded? I remember the Dietza Watson hot dogs were. But I feel like the Bubba burgers used to be Philadelphia brand. Like the Phillies.

[H. Foley]

They worked with the Phillies.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I don't know if they were national or not. I feel they probably just did that in every town.

[Kevin Ryan]

Town. Yeah. I could be wrong, but we've. Yeah, they had great boxes.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. It was like Jim Fragosi on the box.

[Kevin Ryan]

Harry Mulholland. I think that's. I said that. Who signed that ball? Jim for Gosi.

[H. Foley]

Shout out to Frigosi.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's see here. This one's from Kippy's kissing cousin. 10 trash man. Never had one. Red, you ever hook up with a girl on a medical device? Neck brace, cast slings? I just found out I got my wife pregnant while she was wearing a medical boot from breaking her foot. New member of the army of garbage coming. Well, congratulations.

[H. Foley]

Congrats, buddy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hooking up with a girl and a medical device is a.

[H. Foley]

For sure. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I definitely hooked up when I blew out my knee in college.

[Kevin Ryan]

Where's your knee?

[H. Foley]

When I was in my immobilizer.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh. But you were jammed up.

[H. Foley]

I was jammed up. Couldn't move.

[Kevin Ryan]

Poor girl. Get up. Not you had. You didn't shower that Day you did a bed bath. You got white patty probably came in and wiped you down.

[H. Foley]

Pre game.

[Kevin Ryan]

Man. Your gooch was probably a rape.

[H. Foley]

Dude, what are you talking about? I was fucking in shape back then. I was fucking 8, 19 years old. 170 pounds. I think I was about 235.

[Kevin Ryan]

I might have been 3. 15 actually. Was this March.

[H. Foley]

It was football season.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. I. I remember. He is in New York. Meeting was. I went on a couple of dates. Maybe two dates. Like a Tinder lady or something like that.

[H. Foley]

Chicken. The helmet. Ruth, I believe her name was.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's not. Here's a nice lady.

[H. Foley]

No cell phones around her.

[Kevin Ryan]

TV starts changing channel. I got them. Family program. All the spoons in the room. Fly door. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Rooster.

[Kevin Ryan]

I guess she's making pens. That phenomena. I get that and powder mixed up. Who.

[H. Foley]

Who are you talking about?

[Kevin Ryan]

Phenomenon with no, dumbass.

[H. Foley]

The girl.

[Kevin Ryan]

What? Why you being such a fucking asshole? She had like something wrong with her. She was having like a. Some sort of surgery on her legs or on her foot or. Some British girl. Hello. So.

[H. Foley]

Right.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I. I think I went on like two dates with her before. She was like a mo. Like her leg was something, something.

[H. Foley]

And then she was just in the middle of something.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. And then one after. It just didn't. Didn't work out, huh? Whole Boston Tea Party thing. Couldn't see eye to eye on.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I'm joking. Huh? What, you don't believe me?

[H. Foley]

I just hate.

[Kevin Ryan]

She lived on the Upper east side, okay. She was a personal trainer. This is right when I lost the weight.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

All right. When I lost the weight.

[H. Foley]

Wow.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really tight. Really feeling myself. Good head of hair.

[H. Foley]

Hey, you got a cast. I'm out of here.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got a leather jet. I can't do this. No, it's just like. I don't know. Didn't. Whatever. Didn't materialize.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, she wouldn't. Fuck you. Will you get it?

[Kevin Ryan]

I think that's what happened. If I remember correct. I'm like, lee, we got one leg, you dumper. You're turning me down? You're damaged goods. I'm gonna walk my way out of here.

[H. Foley]

Can't even keep your Achilles tendon. How you gonna keep a man like me?

[Kevin Ryan]

Baby, I'm moving. I'm out of here. No, it wasn't. It just, you know, whatever didn't happen.

[H. Foley]

I mean, we've. We've mentioned this, but it seems like every year in college there was some girl that had a broken foot.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I also love. I mean, that was also One of the first early Ayg things is like being in a. You know, be walking around in a boot. And then they started those peg leg things where your knees bent and people come out to shows with them and, like, we'll do the meat rolly. Yeah. They're like, oh, look. I mean, my.

[H. Foley]

You're, you know, really zip around in those things.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, the little scoots.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

No. Did you ever see where the knees bent and. Yeah, just like a peg leg.

[H. Foley]

Got a wheel?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, some of them don't have wheels. It's just like a peg leg.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Oh, yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Real Pirates of the Caribbean pogo stick. Yes. Yeah, man. What did you do to. What kind of insurance you got? I'd want to get that. That's enough.

[H. Foley]

I'd want to get the blades. You ever see people with the blades?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Can't shoot your wife.

[H. Foley]

Bionic. That's right. That guy did.

[Kevin Ryan]

What a wild turn of events.

[H. Foley]

Those things are sick.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know.

[H. Foley]

Get going in those things. Those guys cooking them move.

[Kevin Ryan]

Maybe that's what you need.

[H. Foley]

Some blades.

[Kevin Ryan]

Some blades, some blades get you moving.

[H. Foley]

We can't be that far away from that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is that what you're hoping for?

[H. Foley]

AI comes in some type of biomechanical suit. Like some type of Iron man type suit.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think we're very far from that.

[H. Foley]

Think we gotta be far from it.

[Kevin Ryan]

We don't have Tesseract. Techno Tesseract technology. What just happened here? Tesseract technology.

[H. Foley]

You don't know what that tesseract is?

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[H. Foley]

Then you will burn.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, you'll never make it in the future. You believe this guy? I'll be there with my old school blades. All right.

[H. Foley]

Like the thing in Edge of Tomorrow with Tom Cruise and Emily Blunt. You think we're that far away from that?

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, 50 years. I don't know. 50. I don't know. You might get there, huh? 50 years.

[H. Foley]

That'd be pretty sweet.

[Kevin Ryan]

Modern advances, technology.

[H. Foley]

If I'm in like one of those mechanical suits.

[Kevin Ryan]

Your bubble boy. Everybody up in there fucking catching a heater in your fishbowl helmet. I got one for you. For your. Your. Your larger than your. Your larger. Your. Your. Let's not go negative. Your love of food knowledge.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've never thought about it this way. I've always thought about it one way, and it was classy. This is Foley ravioli. $10, homie. Or. Great name, best offer.

[H. Foley]

Great.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a fantastic joke. Obo crab dip. Classy or trashy?

[H. Foley]

A very, very, very, very Very, very good question.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would lean classy. But then I. The more I think about it, I think it's trashy. I don't know.

[H. Foley]

Now we're talking about a crab dip with real blue crab, right?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Lump crab meat.

[H. Foley]

Lump crab meat with it. With the chips. Doing chips. Tortilla chips. Tortilla chips.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not tortilla chips.

[H. Foley]

That's what they use.

[Kevin Ryan]

Don't they use like the crostine like that? The. The kind of like the sliced baguette type?

[H. Foley]

That would be nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've only ever had it with bread.

[H. Foley]

So many places you go to these days, they hit you with that fucking artichoke spinach dip.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

And they give you the tortilla chips.

[Kevin Ryan]

They can't. They break, they suck.

[H. Foley]

And you know what else can kick rocks to the multicolored tortilla chips.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't mind that.

[H. Foley]

Fuck out of here with that garbage.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't mind it.

[H. Foley]

Christmas, maybe.

[Kevin Ryan]

So we will do. We'll do crack. More like Ritz crackers. I feel with it anytime we have it.

[H. Foley]

That's Jen. Then you got to have that little weird butters knife.

[Kevin Ryan]

The spread knife. Mm. That's what makes it. But I mean, if we're having it like, it's always sitting next to like a buffalo chicken dip, which that ain't. You know, I think I would go trashy, maybe. Good time.

[H. Foley]

Good shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's a great time. I don't want to. I've gotten it at a restaurant like in like, you know, down in like, Baltimore or whatever.

[H. Foley]

Still never really hits, right?

[Kevin Ryan]

It does. It's all bland, whatever. But it comes with like those two large crostini type burnt pieces of toast, like, propped up in it. Yeah, that's all right. You lather that up.

[H. Foley]

They never give you enough of that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Never enough.

[H. Foley]

Never enough toast.

[Kevin Ryan]

I asked for more bread like a dickhead.

[H. Foley]

I suppose you just eat this.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, we all do it. I got made fun of the other day for my nephew because we ordered hummus and we ran out of bread and I just took a fucking fork full of hummus. Is that crazy? Because he. That was the craziest thing he's ever seen, apparently. Is that nuts?

[H. Foley]

That's madman.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really? Yeah. Just. Wow. Okay. I respect it. It's hummus.

[H. Foley]

Just a whack of hummus.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I was waiting for my. Wait for my entree and my beer to come.

[H. Foley]

How about a cucumber or a fucking piece of celery? Out of every gentleman got an equal packet.

[Kevin Ryan]

Isn't that crazy? Whoa. Really that blows my mind. I was like, yeah, of course.

[H. Foley]

You taking your fucking teaspoon. Why'd you have a spoon anyway?

[Kevin Ryan]

Maybe that was forkful.

[H. Foley]

Maybe a fork. So there was the fork tracks and the hummus.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're out of bread. That's no man's land in that way. That's crazy. That's uncharted terror. That's unclaimed land where I'm from.

[H. Foley]

That's like eating ice cream with a fork.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, whatever.

[H. Foley]

You leave those tracks in there, that's no good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, I'm not putting it back in the fucking thing.

[H. Foley]

Nephew is making fun of you for this.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, 13 year old, blew his mind.

[H. Foley]

You really are a fat ass uncle.

[Kevin Ryan]

Never seen anything like brought it up. Two days later I was like, all right, I know what the fucking home is.

[H. Foley]

Chicks around.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shut up. Trying to get lead over here.

[H. Foley]

See the girl in the cast.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. All right, well, staying cry. I mean, I know it's not classy, but is it crazy?

[H. Foley]

It's not crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Thank you. I mean, what does it sound like?

[H. Foley]

Poison on the water supply?

[Kevin Ryan]

Crazy joker. Crazy. Just because it's on. It's on a vehicle to, you know. Okay.

[H. Foley]

It's gotta have. So where are you drawing a line?

[Kevin Ryan]

Buffalo chicken dip fork full of buffalo chicken dip. Protein in. There's no protein. And chickpeas, of course, but what are we fucking talking about here?

[H. Foley]

It's just.

[Kevin Ryan]

You wouldn't do it at home. You don't like that? It's smooth. I would do it at home, really, if I didn't have any. If I didn't have anything to dip into it. And I want a little wet my whistle a little bit. Little num nums.

[H. Foley]

Trying to go back to this where this line is.

[Kevin Ryan]

Crab dip.

[H. Foley]

You would do crab dip? I would do. I would take a. I would take a. I would eat it like soup.

[Kevin Ryan]

Artichoke spinach. Spinach. Artichoke. Artichoke spinach. You would do you take a whack that.

[H. Foley]

I would do it. I would do it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Luke, I'm not asking you. You know, you didn't go to, you know, the reform school or whatever you do. I'm asking an animal here.

[H. Foley]

A. What's the. What's the cheese dip with the chopped up stuff in it with the sausage, the fucking. You know, you dip chips in queso.

[Kevin Ryan]

Queso, that's. That's more liquid.

[H. Foley]

But if it has the crumpled sausage in it, I would do that.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's crazier than hummus. So you're trying to catch liquid and cheese.

[H. Foley]

Anything that I would use a spoon, not a fork. I was thinking spoon, but mine.

[Kevin Ryan]

I can use a spoon or a fork, it doesn't matter. Cause it's kind of a solid. No, no.

[H. Foley]

Psychologically it's just strange.

[Kevin Ryan]

I get that it's weird, but if you.

[H. Foley]

Would anybody else do it?

[Kevin Ryan]

My brother in law did, I think making fun of me. Were you guys waiting for no beers and our main.

[H. Foley]

Had you.

[Kevin Ryan]

So I'm not just like, hey, can I get a plate of hummus and just start munching?

[H. Foley]

No, no. But had you, had you asked the server, hey, can we get some more pita or bread for the hummus?

[Kevin Ryan]

And you were thinking had.

[H. Foley]

No, no, it was done.

[Kevin Ryan]

Was done. Thank you. That's a big indicator. No one's. We're sitting there, no one's making.

[H. Foley]

You know how I am when I think it's done.

[Kevin Ryan]

No one's making a move on it. We're talking, we're laughing. I'm a fat guy, I'm sitting there. There's. Who don't like hummus. Okay, all right, I rest my case. Not bad, not bad. Write in, write in, let us know. There's no way the listeners aren't crushing a dab of hummy.

[H. Foley]

There's a better comparison. I just can't think of it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Peanut butter. You take a whack of peanut butter?

[H. Foley]

Fuck yeah. Not with a fork. Use a butter knife or a fucking.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't have all that. Yeah, you're doing out of your house. Okay, you're telling me you're having company? Come on. I just conceded.

[H. Foley]

I said yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm just saying you're at home and you're like, I'm going to take the hummus out of the container, put in a bowl. Like you're gonna, you're gonna present it a little bit. You're not gonna take that last little scoop of hummy right on the right, right out of the spoon onto the tongue there.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I might do that in close.

[Kevin Ryan]

Quarters, behind the scene with my family. All right, all right. I stand correct.

[H. Foley]

I don't love hummus that much. Well, I don't need. I need a little buffer, a little pita, a little carrot, little cucumber.

[Kevin Ryan]

I said, I know what I did and I know everybody out there would do the same goddamn thing given the opportunity, but I'll be the martyr for this.

[H. Foley]

So multiple people at the table were like, yo, what are you doing?

[Kevin Ryan]

I guess.

[H. Foley]

Was the bird with you?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

What did she say? She's all right with that she likes that kind of stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

She does, yeah.

[H. Foley]

If that was fucking chocolate mousse or something like that, she might push back on it. Her for those buffalo chicken dip. The fact that it was hummus.

[Kevin Ryan]

She likes classy food. I mean, a classy food.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, we gotta move on. But I ain't. Listen, I might not be right, but I'm not wrong. Okay? I'm gonna take that to the grave.

[H. Foley]

Kevin's talking about factor.

[Kevin Ryan]

Factor, Factor, Factor.

[H. Foley]

Let's talk about getting it tight, getting it lean, locking it in with delicious, nutritious, ready to eat meals from Factor. You pop them in the microwave two minutes, boom. They don't taste. They don't taste healthy. They just taste good.

[Kevin Ryan]

They taste good.

[H. Foley]

Good meal.

[Kevin Ryan]

They taste good.

[H. Foley]

My problem is I want to eat two, three of them. I know, but one and you're full and you're on your way. Saves time, saves money. You got other shit going on. It's the winner. You're gonna start getting ready for the spring. Do yourself a favor, get over to factor. Give it a shot. I'm telling you, you're gonna love them.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Factor has chef made gourmet meals that make eating well easy. They are dietician approved. Ready to eat in two, three minutes. So you can fuel, you can feel right and feel great no matter what life throws at you. You can lose up to eight pounds in eight weeks with factor keto meals. Based on a randomized controlled clinical trial with factor keto. Results will vary depending on diet and exercise. Obviously, they have over 40 options across eight dietary preferences on the menu each week. It's easy to pick tailored meats for your goal. You can do keto calorie smart. Protein plus. What if you're bulking up Protein plus if you just want to. You want to keep a little tight calorie smart. If you're trying to lose, go keto. I've been a big fan. We've been using factor since before they were a sponsor. That's how much we like them. They are fantastic. I heat them up at the bench. Good. Shout out to the shredded chicken taco.

[H. Foley]

I do them in the microwave, right in the thing that they come in. Boom. Ready to eat.

[Kevin Ryan]

Eat smart with factor. Get [e-mail] garbage50 off and use code GARBAGE50OFF to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping on that. That's code garbage 50 off at factor meals.com garbage 50 off to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. Do it now back to The Show.

[H. Foley]

Back to the show.

[Kevin Ryan]

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[H. Foley]

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[Kevin Ryan]

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[H. Foley]

In identity theft coverage. Also, for just $39.99 for your first year, visit mcafee.com cancel anytime terms apply.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, this one's from Rare Pimp. Fat, featherless. I don't know what the hell that means. Ever tip your delivery guy with pizza? That's a tough look.

[H. Foley]

What like, here, take a slice.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, hey, buddy young, it's just me in here. I only need four. What the fuck? That's wild. That's. But listen, as somebody who used to doordash, you're hungry. That, that, that delivery guy's probably not loaded. They make solid tips. He probably ain't loaded. He's sitting in that car. Might be 15 minutes in a car with a fresh Zod just, dude, just hot box in his Corolla.

[H. Foley]

But all things being equal, that pie, if that pie is getting there at a decent time, there's no way that you can just flip open the lid and pull out a clean slice and give it to him. You don't know that whole cheese is coming with it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not necessarily. Not necessarily.

[H. Foley]

If they know what they're doing, they're delivering the pies somewhat on time. You got to go in, get them a plate. That's. You might as well just come in and sit down.

[Kevin Ryan]

Come in, sit down. Have sex with my wife. She's got a cast on.

[H. Foley]

You want to come in and have.

[Kevin Ryan]

A slice, you'll go, I'll take it for the road. We did that with our driver when we were down the shore. We came back from Sam's and we gave our Uber driver pizza.

[H. Foley]

We did?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Tick Okani did it.

[H. Foley]

Oh, that was.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm Tommy Paul.

[H. Foley]

But you'd gotten the pizza. That was that you offered the Uber driver a slice of pizza. That's different than tipping the fucking guy delivering.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not saying it's the same thing, but you can pull a slice apart. Let's not act like we don't have the technology to pull a slice out of a fresh zar here.

[H. Foley]

That's a garbage move. I fucking love it.

[Kevin Ryan]

He wants dude that probably made. You know, I mean, it sucks that you're not tipping them cash. You give Them a finski and a slice out the door for sure. Maybe a mezzo mix if you got it in stock.

[H. Foley]

It's Fanta and Coke. Try it out.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would like it. But I hate, hate, hate, hate eating pizza without a fucking soda to bite and sip. You might as well be eating a whole loaf of bread. It gets all stuck up in here. I need something to grease the chute.

[H. Foley]

Bad news, especially when you fucking close it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Trying to get that crust down. Do the closed crust without a soda.

[H. Foley]

To be drinking windshield wiper fluid.

[Kevin Ryan]

Got a thing of antifreeze in the back.

[H. Foley]

Trying to get that down. That's great.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's all right, man. All right. This one's from cousin Vinny. $10 stew going. You've ever been told from your dad that they're coming to tow the car tonight? Make sure you get anything you want out of there.

[H. Foley]

The preemptive repo.

[Kevin Ryan]

He says, man, we were cooking with money for a few years until it went far south. Wouldn't change it for the world. Oh, man.

[H. Foley]

You got any textbooks in the back seat.

[Kevin Ryan]

You might want to get that. Get your golf. Because they're golf club. What?

[H. Foley]

Some little kid would have said a stick. I mean, he might set a stick.

[Kevin Ryan]

He might have been 12, you don't know. Ah, man, that's also like a new money thing. Get the kid a set of golf club. I go, I'll go. I'll take you out. This had to be construction or something.

[H. Foley]

They might be coming tonight. Get your shit out of there.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's very reminiscent of. We had a couple years stretcher. It was nice. And then it was playing with though. We were playing with house money.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that's a great question.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's all right, man. Also, good luck from the dad to be like, listen, I fumbled. The boys are coming. They're coming to get the Escalade. Get your gear, get out.

[H. Foley]

Put the dog in the basement too.

[Kevin Ryan]

By the way, I'm not all paid up on it. Square one. I'm on Monday. That's very much of a dad. When the house phone rang. Not here, not here. That's pretty good, dude. All right, this one's just nuts. This was what? This one's from Brina Butter and Jelly. Not a question, but an electronic hack. You pay $50 a year to be a preferred Best Buy member.

[H. Foley]

Okay?

[Kevin Ryan]

That gets you 60 days return on any product, no questions asked.

[H. Foley]

Okay?

[Kevin Ryan]

You can go buy a TV, right? Use it for 60 days, then return it, grab another TV over and over and over again. Pro tip. Use A credit card and collect the points on every purchase.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Then you just have to get a new TV every 60 days.

[H. Foley]

And you're still paying for this.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're still out. Let's say a TV cost $500.

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

You go, you pay $500, right? You get it for 60 days, you can return it.

[H. Foley]

You get the $500 back.

[Kevin Ryan]

Get the $500 back, you buy a new TV.

[H. Foley]

$700 TV or whatever, even five.

[Kevin Ryan]

You don't even have to upgrade. There's a new $500 TV, you're still out $500. But I guess the idea is you're just continuously rack up $500 points every 60 days.

[H. Foley]

I would pay not to have to fucking return something like that, dude.

[Kevin Ryan]

That.

[H. Foley]

You got to keep that box.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, keep that box. You got to. Well, they return it no questions asked. But yeah.

[H. Foley]

Box every two months.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you imagine if you missed it or whatever?

[H. Foley]

Every six months I could be on board. But I like the hustle.

[Kevin Ryan]

I respect it. But counting the points. God damn, dude, that. There's got to be an easier way to make. Returning a 60 inch flat screen every 60 days. That's a lot of humping trying to.

[H. Foley]

Get that foam to slide back in.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's making my blood run cold. The squeaking of the foam on the cardboard. No, thank you. That's tough, dude. Yeah. I mean, there's got to be an easier way to make the points because you're paying, you're always out $500.

[H. Foley]

But it's just constantly running, so who gives a fuck? It's just constantly going in and going back and going in and going back and going in and going back. That's why I look at credit cards too, which I know is the wrong way to look at it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Let me be a but hit me with. I don't know what you're talking about.

[H. Foley]

That. It's. It's just always going up and down.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's called revolving credit.

[H. Foley]

So what's the difference? You have that money until you make the last payment. You're ahead of the game.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, that's what they want you to think. You.

[H. Foley]

If you. If you never. If you pay it off and never use the card again. That's how they get you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wait, hold on.

[H. Foley]

Don't you get it?

[Kevin Ryan]

No. Okay, so let's say you're leaving an open balance.

[H. Foley]

Let's. Okay, let's say I have an American Express card.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay? I could live in that world.

[H. Foley]

Let's say there's 10 grand on there. I have a $10,000 available credit. Okay, let's say I'm at that 10 grand.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Okay. I pay that off, I immediately have 10. 10 more grand.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

So the only time that you're. That you lose on the deal is if you pay it one last time and then don't use it. That's what. That's when that. That's when. That's when. That's when the. The buck stops.

[Kevin Ryan]

But are you paying it in full? Let me ask this, and be honest, because I know how you operate.

[H. Foley]

This is hypothetical.

[Kevin Ryan]

Are you paying in full?

[H. Foley]

I'm paying what the bill is that month, whatever the chunk is.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Is it my paying it back to zero?

[Kevin Ryan]

The current balance. You're paying your current balance?

[H. Foley]

Current balance.

[Kevin Ryan]

Throwing any mini payments there? Any mini moms? Minimum payment due?

[H. Foley]

Minimums? No minimums.

[Kevin Ryan]

Anything ever less than the current statement. Not your total balance. Your current balance.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. No, no, no, no. I'm paying the current balance.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

They don't. They don't let you do that. They hit you.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

Amex will hit you with that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Of course. That's what I thought you were saying.

[H. Foley]

Russia.

[Kevin Ryan]

So how do you think they're getting you if you never use it again?

[H. Foley]

Because then you've had to pay back the ten grand.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

You've had to pay back. What? You don't get to use the 10 grand that's in there anymore. If you pay it back and never use it again, then you lost ten grand.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, you didn't.

[H. Foley]

Yes, you did. Because if you use it again, they're.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not giving you $10,000. They're loaning you $10,000 you have to pay back.

[H. Foley]

Right. Which now I have another 10 grand once I pay.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know, but it's. That 10 grand is sitting there. If you ever wanted to use it, you can use it. It.

[H. Foley]

What? 10 grand? The 10 grand I have in cash or the 10 grand on the credit card?

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh? So you're missing what I'm saying 100%.

[H. Foley]

As long as you keep using the card, once you pay it off, it's all the same whether it's in a checking account or whether it's in a credit card. That's your money.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, all right. Okay.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. That's all I'm saying.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

So running.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Okay, hold on. So that you're counting that $10,000 credit limit as your money, right?

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

100. Okay. No, that's fine. But to explain it this way, until.

[H. Foley]

The day I stop using it, it's mine.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know, but then that $10,000 is still hypothetically sitting there. If you're counting it as yours when you're using it, when you're not using it, you still have it available. $10,000 if I needed it.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. So what, you're just deciding to count at one time and not another time?

[H. Foley]

No, I'm saying, like, if I got rid of the credit card, I should have prefaced that like, if I.

[Kevin Ryan]

No one's ever done that. You just keep the card and it sits there. And honestly, the lower balance helps you more because your credit score goes up.

[H. Foley]

My credit score goes up and down, like every month.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's because you're running your credit card balances so high. That happens every single month. It goes. Your, your, your. Your increased credit uses. Has happened. And it lowers your. Lowers your credit score.

[H. Foley]

But then once you pay it off, it goes back up again, so none of it really matters. None of it makes sense.

[Kevin Ryan]

Imagine if it never went down those five points and stayed there.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then it would continue to go up rather than go down.

[H. Foley]

Would it? Or would it just sit there because I'm not making any moves?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it would hypothetically go up if you're staying financially whole.

[H. Foley]

Hmm.

[Kevin Ryan]

In what world are you, Somebody opening a credit card, using it once and then canceling it?

[H. Foley]

You know, I don't know if I love this, to be honest with you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, I just got you $10,000 worth of it. Oh, man, that put my brain in a pretzel.

[H. Foley]

You don't get what I'm saying?

[Kevin Ryan]

I guess if you canceled the card, sure.

[H. Foley]

As long as you don't cancel that card, you're still in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I don't.

[H. Foley]

Still in the game.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. Sure.

[H. Foley]

Plus, you got an answer.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. But you. You walk such a tightrope when it comes to that, that it's not worth the stress and the headache and the. It's just not worth it. You should just spend cash, you know what I mean?

[H. Foley]

On what?

[Kevin Ryan]

Whatever you're putting on the card or put on the card, keep it on auto payment and just let it clean out. You don't do that either.

[H. Foley]

Fuck that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't try. I mean, you're.

[H. Foley]

This guy's playing auto pay for a credit card. I don't know what they're gonna take. And then I gotta have enough of that in the.

[Kevin Ryan]

In the.

[H. Foley]

In the checking account to cover that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, that's another thing. You. I don't understand what you do with your money.

[H. Foley]

I don't like to leave a lot of stuff in the checking account. That's the short pocket. I like the deep pocket.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, but then you're jumping. But that's how you get jammed up and miss stuff because you're. You're spinning too many plates.

[H. Foley]

I haven't missed anything. I'm chilling.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. You're the. I mean, obviously you're talking about some sort of credit card scam no one can wrap their head around.

[H. Foley]

Well, I'm not. It's not a scam.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's not. Not a scam.

[H. Foley]

That's it. No.

[Kevin Ryan]

It is a free 10,000. Anytime you talk about a credit card that's a free $10,000. It ain't on the up and up.

[H. Foley]

No, no, I don't want that. I don't want that out there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Look how scared you get. What? AMEX is going to come get you.

[H. Foley]

No, I'm saying.

[Kevin Ryan]

Fucking weirdo.

[H. Foley]

Pay your credit card bill. You then have access to that money immediately. So it's, it's, it's. It's a revolving door.

[Kevin Ryan]

A hundred. Not no one's, no one's arguing.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that's all I'm saying. It's pretty cool.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is. This has been the finance hour with two idiots and a con man and a criminal.

[H. Foley]

That's not true, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Look, how weird. No, don't say that. Don't say that. I'm a psycho parent. Don't say that. Like AMEX is gonna come and get you for your two grand. Ain't got bigger fucking fish to fry than you're 2 grand. Oh, my God. Don't tell nobody, but when I paid them, they let me. They give me another $2,000. I found. I found a glitch in his system. I'm in the matrix.

[H. Foley]

There's backdoors and all this.

[Kevin Ryan]

These guys are idiots. I give them the money they get, they loan me more money. At 28, these guys are idiots. And they hit me with annual fees. These guys are so st happen that.

[H. Foley]

They'Re giving me miles flying all over the world.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, man. Crab dip class. Hummus, delicious. Eat it with a fork. As a bigger man, you might weigh in on this one. This one's from lfa.

[H. Foley]

A lot of bigger man stuff being mentioned here. I don't appreciate that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think it was twice it was about crab dip and this one's about pants. Okay, I think these are two places. Those are. Those are two worlds where I didn't ask you nothing about a credit card. And then you went off on. You went off in a rabbit Hole about that.

[H. Foley]

What can I do for you about pants.

[Kevin Ryan]

10. This is from El Jefe. $10 taxpayer never have one red. Is it garbage to put your belt on your pants before you put the pants on? Follow up, is it garbage to keep the belt on the pants when you take them off so they're ready for the next wear?

[H. Foley]

Always do.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a given.

[H. Foley]

I'm like a fireman. Are you kidding me? I jump right into those babies.

[Kevin Ryan]

Got my shoes connected to the bottom.

[H. Foley]

Throwing your pants on with that belt, they really shake down. Oh, that's a good feeling. Yeah. The belt always stays.

[Kevin Ryan]

Belt stays on. I'm. Yeah. If that's. It's. Why.

[H. Foley]

Unless you're washing it, which is once in a blue moon, the belt's on there.

[Kevin Ryan]

I haven't watched these jeans in such a long. It's crazy if like the number would make most people disgusted.

[H. Foley]

That makes a loud noise though, man. That belt. That belt buckles. Really.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's if I'm trying to sneak in or out of bed with my wife, usually, Ian. If I'm coming in from like a late night of spots or something, man.

[H. Foley]

That belt hits the floor.

[Kevin Ryan]

That'll fucking. All the tiptoeing, all the. All the closing the turning the handle door, then closing the door, then. Then latching it all keeping Hans coming.

[H. Foley]

Into the tower of London. It's fucking brutal, dude.

[Kevin Ryan]

That or sometimes when you. You do do it and my. My phone will be in my back pocket and that. Oh, man. The neighbors wake up, they're hitting upstairs with a broom. It's a bad. That belt will jam me up.

[H. Foley]

Mm.

[Kevin Ryan]

But putting the belt on before the pants, I would assume that would have. I'm sorry. I assume that would have to be a bigger guy hack. Right.

[H. Foley]

I mean, I could do it pretty easily and I'm. I'm pretty huge.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'll say. That Mesopex ain't open. Double soda.

[H. Foley]

Meso means diabetes in German.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would assume. I mean, I don't get why any. Why that would benefit. I would. In my head. It had to be a bigger guy. Like, that might be tough to get.

[H. Foley]

I could say this as a bigger gentleman, especially with the way they got loops these days. There's too many loops. There should be like four loops, but they're all over the place. You might miss one As a big guy. When you got the pants on, did you ever go.

[Kevin Ryan]

This had to be big in the night. Did you ever go under the label? There was some that you could go under the label to show off the label.

[H. Foley]

Talk about getting laid.

[Kevin Ryan]

I had a pair of badge jeans that I did get. Eyes on Badge jeans. I think they were. They were TJ Maxx knockoffs for sure. B, A, D, G, E, E. Badge jeans.

[H. Foley]

When you want to stop the fun.

[Kevin Ryan]

Your kid keeps shitting his pants, get him a pair of badge jeans. Anything on badge? I do these. I love these jeans. They fell. They fit perfectly. Skating was in. They were the perfect baggie.

[H. Foley]

You went under the.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was farting in them Johns. Heav.

[H. Foley]

And you went under the label.

[Kevin Ryan]

Went under the label. Got to show off the badges.

[H. Foley]

Lee did that.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was black and badge was written like it was in. Oh, man. Cool beans, Luke. Yeah. I got a pair of Relaxed fit. Where are they selling them? EBay. 25 bucks.

[H. Foley]

You were all relaxed fit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, buddy, I was a husky boy.

[H. Foley]

I'm half asleep. I'm so relaxed.

[Kevin Ryan]

Put me in a coma. Daddy. Put a pair of jeans on me.

[H. Foley]

Loosen me up a little bit. That's all right. So. Yeah. That'd be the only reason I could see you doing it.

[Kevin Ryan]

That makes sense.

[H. Foley]

And plus two, when you're. If you're in a dressy situation where you have to tuck your shirt in, going in and putting the pants on, tucking the shirt in and then putting the belt on after, you're gonna get some untuckage that you got to go back.

[Kevin Ryan]

And sure, our belt's got to be in.

[H. Foley]

So if you have the belt in.

[Kevin Ryan]

It'S just one fell swoop.

[H. Foley]

You're all right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

And you put the tie a little too long. Leave the jacket open. You do your thing. Sure. Pray to God they got some grab.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dip there, maybe a little bit of hummus. This one's funny. This is from Senora Bassora. $10, dipshit. Never had one. Red Guy thinks a lot of himself. Is it garbage? You think the T shirt that said oh, no 5o was referring? Wasn't referring to the police, but about my friend turning 50.

[H. Foley]

That's pretty.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not knowing the oh, no. 5 oh. So what kind of guy's wearing an oh, no 5o shirt? That's crazy. That dude's still selling dime bags. That guy's got bad blows.

[H. Foley]

Sure, sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can't ban the snowman. Shout out to Jeezy. God damn, that's good. All right. This one's from Tyler. Five dollar, homie. My dad had piranhas when we were younger. Red flags. And when he wanted to get single dad right there.

[H. Foley]

And guy trying to bang younger chicks.

[Kevin Ryan]

And when he wanted to get rid of them. We just cooked them up.

[H. Foley]

What?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's crazy.

[H. Foley]

Fish tank. Fucking fish.

[Kevin Ryan]

That can't be healthy.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Also, are you allowed to eat? Not allowed. Is it dangerous to eat piranhas?

[H. Foley]

I'm not gonna bite you.

[Kevin Ryan]

I just. I mean, like some meat. You shouldn't. Illegal in many parts of the United States. That ain't a good look. Illegal to have to eat. Remember the. Eat the lure of piranhas?

[H. Foley]

I don't think it's a lore. No.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, they don't. Like, they're not gonna pick your. The skin off your bones in two minutes.

[H. Foley]

I think they do.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's not that severe. I've seen video.

[H. Foley]

I've seen video where they're going, ham.

[Kevin Ryan]

They go ham. But, like, the theory was, like, if you dipped your toe in, you were bringing out a stub within two seconds. Yeah. Like, there. You pull up a. You know. Next thing you know, you're in a wheelchair trying to think of another medical device.

[H. Foley]

Piranha scared the shit out of me as a kid.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was a quicksand.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

But. Yeah, no, that's. I mean, to have a house piranha. I get a beta fish back in the day.

[H. Foley]

Hold on. That means you're feeding it regular fish food from the. That's fucking.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, they're probably like goldfish or something. A group of 300 to 500 piranhas could eat an adult human in five minutes if they were starving.

[H. Foley]

Whoa. So I think about 45.

[Kevin Ryan]

You gotta be real hungry.

[H. Foley]

Holy shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

How many are in a typical pack? Like, are you running into 500 or you're running into 50? 500.

[H. Foley]

A lot of fish. I don't think so. Not in the Amazon. They're all swimming around together. That's five minutes. That would be an.

[Kevin Ryan]

Aw. Screaming piranhas can live in. Live up to packs of a thousand, man. Two and a half minutes out the door. Include my little wee wee. I'll save them 30 seconds.

[H. Foley]

That lady was delicious.

[Kevin Ryan]

Big set of balls on her.

[H. Foley]

It's got a weird aftertaste.

[Kevin Ryan]

It does. There's no chemies in there. That's all natural soda pop.

[H. Foley]

That's what you need, a little yellow five in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right. This one's from Chicky Num Nums. Is it garbage to eat frozen chicken nuggets?

[H. Foley]

Yes. What the fuck?

[Kevin Ryan]

I used to eat them as a kid. They hit different. Frozen. Now my son eats them frozen and people give me dirty looks.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's nuts, dude. Nothing Frozen dessert.

[H. Foley]

Although my cousins did confess to me my two Younger cousins who my dad used to take to school when they were young, that they would like a frozen waffle every once in a while.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't get it.

[H. Foley]

They wouldn't mind crushing a frozen waffle in the morning for breakfast.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I just don't get that at all. Where's the fun in the crunch? And it's so much. It is not even close to how much better both of those foods are heated.

[H. Foley]

I agree.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's not even close.

[H. Foley]

Chicken, nothing.

[Kevin Ryan]

A waffle takes. What? I mean, throw it in a microwave for 10 seconds. It's better. Throw it in a toaster oven or the toaster for what, 70 seconds.

[H. Foley]

Crispy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Half a piranha as.

[H. Foley]

I mean, as a fat ass. I could see it when you're hungry.

[Kevin Ryan]

10, 15. We're talking 15 seconds.

[H. Foley]

I'm just saying I could see it, but yeah, that's. That's.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I don't understand. I could see if it was like, hey, you got to put it. You got to preheat the oven with the chicken nuggets a little bit, but you can get them warm. You can get a warm.

[H. Foley]

I don't mind an uncrustable frozen.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's. That's what that is. That's a dessert. That's a sweet dessert.

[H. Foley]

Chicken nuggie.

[Kevin Ryan]

Crazy.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. It would make yours. You wouldn't like that at all.

[Kevin Ryan]

No. That's blasphemy. Where I come from, that and a lot of people we've talked to, like, have written in or either on the road as well do the uncooked ramen, which I don't get at all either. That just seems like it would hurt. Like, I don't understand where the pleasure comes from.

[H. Foley]

That's crazy. Crazy dog. It's crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

This one's for Mary. You ever crawl on your knees indoors because you're too lazy to take your shoes off and you don't want to dirty up the floors? I caught myself doing it in my own home.

[H. Foley]

My God, That's.

[Kevin Ryan]

I did it this morning. My.

[H. Foley]

You did? You crawled on your knees?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I had to undo my shoes and go into. I forgot my keys or something. I already. I had. No. I was downstairs walking the door, so. They're all wet, all salty.

[H. Foley]

Oh, all right.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I was like, I gotta undo this. Sucked. But never crawling. That's crazy.

[H. Foley]

I'm pretty loose when it comes to that. I'll bend the rules.

[Kevin Ryan]

If my shoes are on and my. I didn't close the window. I'm walking to wherever I gotta go.

[H. Foley]

I take Heat for it. I get yelled at. I mean, I take heat for it.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're on the couch, feet up. Why my show's on. Yeah, I got. I mean, that's. I mean, you're living a life here. You're crawling in your own home. So what? You don't get mad at yourself. I don't understand it.

[H. Foley]

Is there any evidence. Has there been any evidence that. That got somebody sick? That the dirt on the floor or whatever?

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm sure with children. Yeah. Kids are crawling, putting their hands in, whatever.

[H. Foley]

Maybe she has kids.

[Kevin Ryan]

That makes sense to me. I mean, like, say. You're right.

[H. Foley]

I thought that was good for you as a kid, though.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nah. I mean, like, you say, you step in dog, and then the kid puts his hand in it, and then he's got worms or whatever, you know?

[H. Foley]

Nah, I got you.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would assume. I don't know.

[H. Foley]

Maybe she's got kids.

[Kevin Ryan]

I also just think, like, mentally, it's disgusting. Like, if you really think about it, how much urine and semen I walk in.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I don't have that mental thing.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm saying if you really. I don't either. But I'm saying, like, if you start thinking about it, you're like, oh, these.

[H. Foley]

Are thinking about it. You go crazy. Sure. How much germs are all over everything, at every second of everything.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's why it's painful to be friends with the big guy.

[H. Foley]

I got boogies all over me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. The booger man can't be a winner.

[H. Foley]

My nose is running.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can't ban the booger man. That's why I don't like touching stuff that you touch. It's well documented. You're a nice, good friend of mine.

[H. Foley]

Garudi. Charles Garodi.

[Kevin Ryan]

You just.

[H. Foley]

You're taking a sip of this.

[Kevin Ryan]

I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I don't. I don't know if you've noticed. I don't touch most stuff that you touch.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, it hurts.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got boogers all the time, dude. It's boogers. I see ya. I don't call you out. I see you did it. You look at it and you feel like that. Sometimes you just play with it and then you're like, all right, see you later. And I'm like, dude, you're boogified. I can't do it. I can't. I've just seen. I've seen. I was making boogers on your hand.

[H. Foley]

I was thinking more it's, you know, it's a snotty season, you know, for.

[Kevin Ryan]

You, which is Bad.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, Everybody's nose is running now.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, but you don't wash your hands. You're a lazier gent. You don't like getting up to wash your hands. We have to yell at you to get up and wash your hands.

[H. Foley]

Skin's real dry.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that's not it.

[H. Foley]

Just saying.

[Kevin Ryan]

My skin's a real dry now. You're lazy. Yeah. Oh God. Bizo. Let's see here. This one's from long term Bozo. Are you garbage if you went to the locker room on the last day of school to get shoes that kids left in their locker? My parents could afford new shoes for me. But a free sneaker is a free sneaker. I mean, that's crazy.

[H. Foley]

Every once in a while there was a good find in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know, cuz I feel like. At least I feel like everybody would wear their like already shittier shoe. Nobody was bringing like a new pair of Reeboks.

[H. Foley]

But you think that. But then I look at and I see like YouTube pages or whatever where guys make a living selling and dealing in the luggage that people leave at airports. It's fucking. What happened to these people?

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean?

[H. Foley]

The one. It was like. It was like. It was. It was a. A checked bag that had like a Louis Vuitton bag in it. It had sneakers, it had jewelry, it had this. That person got murdered, right?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a come up.

[H. Foley]

Like, who doesn't. Like. I'm not saying that's. That's on the regular.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's like Storage Wars.

[H. Foley]

That's what I'm saying.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes.

[H. Foley]

I mean, how does that happen?

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, maybe the guy's a fucking some heiress and she's like, yeah, I'm not going back to JFK to get my $5,000 purse when I got 50 of them.

[H. Foley]

So what I'm saying, you might find a halfway decent pair of sneakers for the summer at the fucking.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't disagree. I'm just saying most pair of umbrells. I get it. But man, that stuff. That ain't. You gotta run that through the dishwasher or something. That stuff is. Sure, that's. I mean, sure. That stuff ain't clean. That's. That was an old pair of shoes that kid brought in for sure. You know what I mean? Like that's. Those things got some fucking miles on them.

[H. Foley]

Man, that fucking.

[Kevin Ryan]

By the way you bring that up, My luggage got lost. I didn't tell you. Yeah, we lost a full suitcase.

[H. Foley]

Got it back.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, where is it? They can. They can't locate it. We got a text. Saying what?

[H. Foley]

We won't be laying.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm saying one of your bags didn't. They say one of your bags didn't make it on board the plane. Please give us your address. Gave him the address. Still no. I would say we. We can't locate your bag.

[H. Foley]

How the fuck does that happen?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. All the computers we got.

[H. Foley]

Were you lippy with the fucking? With the person checking it in?

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[H. Foley]

You know what the. The bird does? She puts air tags and everything.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, should have done that.

[H. Foley]

Got one at my ass right now.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm. You don't want to lose you. What a catch you are. Make sure all my boogers are intact. Don't misplace the mucus. King.

[H. Foley]

Just sitting on that conveyor belt in the airport, going around.

[Kevin Ryan]

Somebody forgot him. Somebody gonna claim him? They're bidding on you. All right, we gotta wrap it up.

[H. Foley]

What a fun one.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, gang.

[H. Foley]

We love you to death. Grab those tickets for the tour. Like hippie said, we're not. We're not bullshitting. Everything's moving pretty fast. We don't want you to miss out. So grab some ticks, come see us on the road. We can't wait to get back out there. We love you, and we'll see you next week.