Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

Summary

Podcast Summary: Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Episode: Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Release Date: April 14, 2025
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Guests: Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook

---

Introduction and Guest Introduction [00:26 - 02:10]

In this episode of Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast, hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley welcome back their regular listeners to another installment of their trash-themed comedy game show. They introduce their special guests, Chad Daniels and Kelsey Cook, a dynamic Midwestern comedian power couple known for their podcast Pretend Problems and various specials on platforms like Hulu and Netflix.

Notable Quote:

• Kevin Ryan [01:42]: "In the bedroom either."

---

Living Together: The Move to Minnesota [02:11 - 04:00]

Chad and Kelsey discuss their recent move to Minnesota, highlighting the compromises each made. Chad relocated from Spokane, the "trash capital of America," while Kelsey drove 2½ hours southeast to join him. They humorously touch upon the challenges and adjustments of cohabitating, including grocery shopping habits and navigating shared spaces.

Notable Quotes:

• Chad Daniels [02:48]: "We got a new place together."
• Kelsey Cook [03:10]: "She did the moving."

---

Traveling Together: Airport Anecdotes [04:01 - 12:16]

The conversation shifts to their extensive travel experiences as comedians. Chad shares a memorable story about being chauffeured in a Porsche by Delta 360, highlighting the perks of his high-tier airline status. They recount an uncomfortable flight where a fellow passenger's incessant farting led Chad to take action, showcasing his assertive nature.

Notable Quotes:

• Chad Daniels [04:39]: "It's quite a dichotomy."
• Kevin Ryan [05:39]: "That's what makes comedy great."

---

Grocery Shopping and Cooking Habits [12:17 - 18:52]

Chad and Kelsey delve into their grocery shopping routines, favoring Whole Foods for their purchases. Kelsey shares her quirky method of preparing a roast beef sandwich with American cheese and ketchup, adding sautéed mushrooms for extra flair. Their preferences highlight their distinct personalities and culinary styles.

Notable Quotes:

• Kelsey Cook [07:39]: "Freedom dip, brother."
• Chad Daniels [08:22]: "Chad will die surrounded by craft singles."

---

Relationship Dynamics and Household Routines [18:53 - 35:03]

The hosts explore the couple's domestic life, including their efficient approach to household chores and mutual dislikes. They discuss their sleep routines, with Chad preferring minimal interaction in bed and Kelsey bringing slippers to maintain cleanliness. The conversation also touches upon their strategies for managing clutter and maintaining personal space.

Notable Quotes:

• Kelsey Cook [25:02]: "I'm one mistake away from being out of this relationship."
• Chad Daniels [26:04]: "A really big germaphobe with the hotel carpet."

---

Reading Habits and Personal Interests [35:04 - 43:54]

Chad and Kelsey share their current reading lists, with Chad nearing the completion of the A Court of Thorns and Roses series and Kelsey delving into Sam Talon's work. They discuss their preferences for fiction and non-fiction, highlighting their intellectual curiosities and the role of reading in their lives.

Notable Quotes:

• Chad Daniels [28:03]: "It's like adult Twilight."
• Kelsey Cook [28:28]: "Put tilt on roast beef."

---

High School Years and Notable Alumni [43:55 - 49:36]

Reflecting on their high school experiences at Cheney High School, Chad and Kelsey recount meeting notable figures like Frank Viola of the Minnesota Twins and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar during Chad's college years. They humorously debate the presence of other alumni and the prominence of their own achievements.

Notable Quotes:

• Chad Daniels [21:08]: "I interviewed Kareem Abdul-Jabbar."
• Kelsey Cook [24:00]: "How hard is that?"

---

Birthday Celebrations and Special Moments [49:37 - 54:48]

Chad celebrates his birthday during the episode, sharing tales of receiving thoughtful gifts and enjoying outings with Kelsey. The couple reminisces about their special night out, meeting celebrities like Bob Odenkirk and Bill Burr, and expresses gratitude for their supportive relationship.

Notable Quotes:

• Chad Daniels [45:15]: "This was an amazing night."
• Kelsey Cook [45:38]: "We love you, guys."

---

Vacation Home and Summer Activities [54:49 - 63:07]

The couple discusses their vacation home, a lake cabin that becomes a bustling hub during the summer months. They describe the seasonal influx of visitors and the activities they engage in, from golfing and swimming to relaxing by the lake. Chad emphasizes the importance of balance between work and personal life, especially during peak vacation times.

Notable Quotes:

• Chad Daniels [34:20]: "It's our dream house."
• Kelsey Cook [35:38]: "800 people in winter, 30,000 in summer."

---

Closing Discussions and Final Thoughts [63:08 - 67:02]

As the episode winds down, Chad and Kelsey share their upcoming tour dates and express excitement for future performances. They reflect on the strengths of their partnership, highlighting how their combined personalities create a harmonious dynamic. The hosts wrap up the episode by reiterating their support for the guests' projects.

Notable Quotes:

• Chad Daniels [66:35]: "We've really gotten better now that we're together."
• Kelsey Cook [67:02]: "We love you, gang."

---

Conclusion

This episode of Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast offers an intimate glimpse into the lives of Chad Daniels and Kelsey Cook, showcasing their humorous take on everyday challenges and their strong relationship dynamics. From travel mishaps to household routines, the couple's candid conversations provide both laughs and relatable moments for listeners.

Transcript

[H. Foley]

Gang. The 2025 edition of the are you garbage card game third edition is on sale right [e-mail]. play it with your friends, play with your family, and see who is trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, we got over 50 questions right here. Was your babysitter a man? Hit me. Ever been run over? How you doing? Yes, I have. Can you pick up stuff with your toes? Yes, I can, gang. [e-mail] and they're shipping in a day or two. Get on board.

[H. Foley]

Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RU Garbage. Oh, yeah. It's our little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they're good to be classy or if they're just. Just a big old piece of trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

Trash, trash, trash.

[H. Foley]

I'm your host, Stage Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in a new edition. She's over in the kitchen having a bowl of crackling oat bran.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, that's it.

[H. Foley]

Slow morning Mike Hos is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He's an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ Kevin. James Ryan, everybody.

[Kevin Ryan]

What up, gang? How you doing? Thanks for tuning in as always. Please make sure you rate view subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also full video of a now available on Spotify as well. And then obviously, patreon.com are you garbage? Check it out.

[H. Foley]

Yes, sir. And, gang, we couldn't be more excited to have two incredibly special guests back with us again today. Both very funny comedians. They're a power couple, Midwestern power couple. People magazines calling them not too shabby.

[Kevin Ryan]

In the bedroom either.

[H. Foley]

I hear Fish and game called them. Ooh, that's hot. Give it up for Chad Daniels and Kelsey Cook, everybody.

[Kelsey Cook]

Thank you so much.

[H. Foley]

Thank you for coming out, guys. We appreciate you. As I was saying before, you're the third couple on the show. You guys have your podcast, pretend problems. Kelsey has a special out on Hulu and YouTube. Mark your territory. And of course, Mr. Daniels has a special out on Netflix, empty nester. Two of the funniest, two of the faves.

[Chad Daniels]

That's so nice, guys. Thank you.

[H. Foley]

Absolutely. We appreciate you guys being here.

[Chad Daniels]

Well, we're super stoked. You Said you were the third couple. But you also had Tom and Christina separately.

[Kevin Ryan]

Tom and Christina separately.

[Chad Daniels]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Which.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know how those two work together. It's very. They're a very unique pairing.

[H. Foley]

Crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Every other couple we've had kind of makes sense.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

She's trash. Which you guys were both trash through and through.

[Kelsey Cook]

We concluded without going.

[H. Foley]

And now you've teamed up like a.

[Kevin Ryan]

Garbage Voltron Mega Trash to get letters from the hoa.

[H. Foley]

I'm sure. How long have you guys been living together?

[Chad Daniels]

Just over two years.

[H. Foley]

Two years.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

And who moved into where?

[Kevin Ryan]

Or did you get a new sing. A new place together?

[Chad Daniels]

We got a new place together.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very smart. That's not what dirt bags typically do.

[Chad Daniels]

True. But I did. I moved from Spokane, which is trash capital of America. I feel to Minnesota to live with him.

[Kelsey Cook]

So he moved and I. I drove 2 1/2 hours southeast.

[H. Foley]

Oh.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. So she did compromise.

[Kelsey Cook]

She did the moving.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[Kelsey Cook]

I was like, here's how it's gonna.

[H. Foley]

Spoke to Minnesota. Talk about a lateral move. They probably thought you were moving to Paris or something like that.

[Chad Daniels]

Inst.

[Kelsey Cook]

Delta hub.

[H. Foley]

It's a Delta hub.

[Kelsey Cook]

That's what Midwest people traveling. It's only three hours to everywhere.

[H. Foley]

Fair enough.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who's been working the road a while?

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[Kelsey Cook]

No.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah. Big road dog.

[Kevin Ryan]

Which. One thing I did want to ask who. I saw you. You guys. You posting your Instagram stories yesterday or whatever. And I noticed you guys were traveling together. Who has a better status?

[Chad Daniels]

He is. Okay.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

For being as garbage as he is. He is. Truly. Whoa. He is a prince in the skies. He is Delta 360.

[H. Foley]

What? Wait. What's that?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's like. Yeah. It's like 5 million miles or something.

[H. Foley]

That's been torn for 40 years.

[Kevin Ryan]

I tried to buy it. You can't buy it.

[Kelsey Cook]

That it is invite only. Let me.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's the. He's the motherfucker that walks by me as I'm waiting.

[Kelsey Cook]

It's so. This surprised me. One day I was going to miss my flight because the connection. We were delayed and there was a woman right outside the plane. Not outside the jet bridge. Right outside the plane. Where you drop your luggage.

[H. Foley]

Where they put the people in the wheelchair. Yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

Yes.

[Kelsey Cook]

Exactly. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

She's always jealous of them.

[Kevin Ryan]

These got it. So good.

[Kelsey Cook]

Can I get a ride up the hill?

[H. Foley]

Suddenly running a store real quick.

[Kevin Ryan]

Fat guy would call that the hill.

[Kelsey Cook]

But she had my name on a card. And then I went down the luggage stairs to a board to outside to a Porsch that and they. They send you across the tarmac. You don't have to go through the catcher connect. You don't have to go in with all the pores and walk around.

[H. Foley]

Do you have to walk across the tarmac?

[Kelsey Cook]

No, no, no. They bring you in the Porsche.

[H. Foley]

In a Porsche?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. There's like a Porsche. Porsche. I've seen it. I've seen people do it before. Famous people, man.

[Chad Daniels]

It's crazy.

[Kelsey Cook]

I don't know how I got invited.

[H. Foley]

This is a lot for a guy on his way to the comedy zone. I like it.

[Kelsey Cook]

Wait a second. You think I could work the comedies Harrisburg?

[Kevin Ryan]

Not the main one. Yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

This is a man who dips his roast beef sandwiches in ketchup. Like a pond of ketchup. And he's getting driven gate to gate in a porch. It's such a weird dichotomy, but that's what.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what makes comedy great. Is like the biggest dirt bank. And like. Yeah, drive me to my plane in a porch, please. Yes.

[Kelsey Cook]

Beef is a red meat.

[H. Foley]

Hey, I'm with you on that. You don't do an aju. Wait, you said roast beef sandwich, right?

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

There's hot roast beef or cold?

[Chad Daniels]

Hot.

[Kelsey Cook]

I warm it up. I toast the bread.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, you're making this at home?

[Kelsey Cook]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Okay, hold on. Back this up. Okay, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. Slow down a second. We're gonna get into all this. Yeah, but since you brought up roast beef, you go to any store.

[Kelsey Cook]

I go to the store.

[H. Foley]

Okay, what's the usual lunch meat order? And is that what you guys call it?

[Kelsey Cook]

She gets turkey.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kelsey Cook]

I just call it meat.

[H. Foley]

Meat?

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You just call it meat.

[Kelsey Cook]

Well, I don't want to. I don't want to put it in a corner and go, I'm only having you at lunch. Right.

[Kevin Ryan]

So I don't get sliced meat.

[Kelsey Cook]

I go, I might eat you at midnight. You might be midnight meat. We don't know.

[H. Foley]

But what would you say is in the fridge?

[Chad Daniels]

Midnight meat is also a patreon tier, I think.

[Kelsey Cook]

I think sandwich meat.

[H. Foley]

Sandwich meat?

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Well, it's very old school. Lunch meat is the gentleman's term.

[Kelsey Cook]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

And let's pull this back one more step. What grocery store are you guys going together now? The new location. What's that? Grocery store.

[Chad Daniels]

It's usually whole foods.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Very nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

Thanks.

[H. Foley]

And where are we at in Minnesota? Are we near Minneapolis?

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah, we're near.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Chad Daniels]

We're in the cities, roughly.

[H. Foley]

We're in the. A suburb. Okay. Of the Twin Cities.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

All right. Not bad. Shopping at Whole Foods.

[Kevin Ryan]

Are you doing the name brand turkey? What's the order? When you go, you'll let me get.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah, it's like the apple gate.

[Kevin Ryan]

Apple.

[H. Foley]

Whoa.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know what you're talking about.

[H. Foley]

That's tied back.

[Kelsey Cook]

There's only one roast beef. It doesn't have the label on it. You just say, I'd like some roast beef.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

But they do it.

[Kelsey Cook]

But it comes with blood.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kelsey Cook]

So you know they do it there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kelsey Cook]

They haven't cooked out the blood, so.

[H. Foley]

That'S what you get. You're a roast beef man. When it comes to deli meats, I get roast beef.

[Kelsey Cook]

I put. I put that on a little plate.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kelsey Cook]

And I put that in the microwave for 30 seconds. Then I add my cheese for 30 more seconds. I don't like my cheese to be too hot. American.

[Kevin Ryan]

American.

[Kelsey Cook]

Goddamn patriot citizen. Pay my taxes. Pay my taxes. So I eat the cheese and then I toast the bread. And then sometimes when I'm getting crazy, I'll make some mushrooms, saute some mushrooms, really throw that on there, and then I slice it, and then I dip all that masterpiece in ketchup.

[H. Foley]

Wow. All right, I'm with Kelsey now. Once you add it to mushrooms, it's that dip that in ketchup is weird.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

And theoretically it should be Swiss cheese if you're putting it on the roast beef. Just saying. As far as, like, fat guy rules. It would have to.

[Kevin Ryan]

Which we play by here. I don't know if you've gotten the handbook. We play by fat guy rules.

[H. Foley]

This guy's making a French dip with American cheese.

[Chad Daniels]

I know. Chad will die surrounded by craft singles. It's. You can't get them away from him.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is that what it is?

[Kelsey Cook]

It's also a freedom dip, brother. That's why I put American cheese on it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Take my liberty. Sandwich, please.

[Kelsey Cook]

Hello.

[H. Foley]

Wait, hold on.

[Kevin Ryan]

These are craft singles you're doing that with or, like, single?

[Kelsey Cook]

No, I'll do like. What is Sargento? Is that a brand of cheese?

[H. Foley]

That's what you're getting? Yeah. You don't.

[Kevin Ryan]

Guys mixing countries.

[H. Foley]

Wait, hold on.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know, you put a couple tariffs on this guy, you're not getting the.

[H. Foley]

Cheese at the deli counter too, like, give me a pound of America if it's pre sliced.

[Kelsey Cook]

I'm not asking for it. Takes too long. They gotta wash the thing. They got to go to a different slice.

[Kevin Ryan]

I respect that. Sometimes they'll have it pre sliced.

[Kelsey Cook]

I like to go in, in and out on this Grocery shopping.

[H. Foley]

Who's doing. Are we doing this together?

[Chad Daniels]

Well, we'll do it together. Sometimes if one of them, one of us is near it, then we'll just go do it by ourselves.

[H. Foley]

But the whole order or how. How often are. How long of a days are you guys shopping? Because you're both working, you're both traveling.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah, I don't know. We. We do try to get in and out. Chad is.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would pick. Chad is not a cart kind of guy. Do you grab a cart and go basket guy?

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah, basket. Sometimes I go mini cart. She's with. Depends on what we're gonna get. I never go full cart.

[H. Foley]

Never go full.

[Kelsey Cook]

Cards too much.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm the same way.

[Kelsey Cook]

What am I planning for a month?

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Kelsey Cook]

I'm on the road, I gotta work.

[H. Foley]

Mini.

[Kevin Ryan]

I put most stuff in my arm. Like, I, I.

[Chad Daniels]

You do it? Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

My dad instilled in me that you only ladies use cards. Oh, very much. Like, it's under. I got like a, you know. Yeah, whatever.

[Chad Daniels]

Sometimes I'm going by myself more often now because Chad has. His spazes in public are kind of off the charts. And a woman, really, for the listeners.

[Kevin Ryan]

That don't know Chad, he's what I would call a little bit of a loose can man with a set of principles.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah, I think that's fair to say.

[Kelsey Cook]

Follow the rules. How hard is that?

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm right there with you, big guy.

[H. Foley]

He lives by a roast beef coat.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, I'm on your side.

[Kelsey Cook]

It's unbelievable.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, I.

[H. Foley]

Hold on. Let's back this up. We're gonna. Let's get more into the grocery store. But first, the travel. How was the traveling to. How is the traveling together? Because theoretically, you're both seasoned comics, you both travel a lot for business. So that usually keeps people on the same page. Because we have the trouble now that when we don't. When we travel as a group, we travel like it's like a team. Where you would be.

[Kevin Ryan]

You would be very impressed. We're fucking. No weight, no nothing. In and out.

[Kelsey Cook]

You don't have any luggage. You're just carrying your stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got my deodorant in my mouth.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yep.

[H. Foley]

But sometimes we're finding now that when we do bring the significant others or family involved in our travel, it's like, what the fuck? It's like they've never been in an airport before.

[Chad Daniels]

Oh, God.

[H. Foley]

You guys don't really have that.

[Chad Daniels]

People going through giant things of liquids.

[Kevin Ryan]

My wife. My wife will get caught with five different water bottles. The joke is not if she's going to get caught, they flag her thing. And I go, I bet it's about three. Three. She goes, I didn't even remember this one.

[Kelsey Cook]

I got my backpack pulled on the way here because I had wooden. A wooden version of brass knuckles.

[Kevin Ryan]

That makes sense, though, dude. Why is that? That's probably illegal. No.

[Kelsey Cook]

In case somebody gives me about a roast beef sandwich.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know, he puts it on, cracks his neck.

[H. Foley]

Wooden knuckles.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wait, is that like, a weapon or is that like a trinket?

[Kelsey Cook]

It was a trinket gift.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah. From Hilarities. Nick at Hilarities.

[H. Foley]

Did they confiscate it?

[Kelsey Cook]

No, he had to call over a manager who couldn't turn her neck. She had to turn, like, a full robot. And she goes, I don't know. That's fine with me. And then he put it back in my bag, and here we are.

[Kevin Ryan]

Could it do some damage, you think?

[Kelsey Cook]

I probably. I mean, more than my knuckles?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, sure. Okay.

[H. Foley]

Would definitely scratch.

[Chad Daniels]

Splinter in your cheek.

[H. Foley]

Little Murphy's Oil soap on that. You'll be all right. Punch me in the face. Gave me a splinter. So you guys should move pretty well together through the airport.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Any complaints on either. Either part.

[Chad Daniels]

So. Chad is very efficient, man. My complaints are just always. He has such a low tolerance for anybody's nonsense. Anybody.

[H. Foley]

Not the. No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Look, fist bump.

[Chad Daniels]

Anybody doing something that he just feels like they should have been raised better. Which, I mean, like, you're in an airport, you're on a plane, you're gonna run into raccoon people. It's just like, this is the nature. Yeah. Foley's there. It's just how it is. So I know you guys have kind of like an infamous fart story, right? With the Ozempic. Have I heard.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. They were burps. Burps.

[Chad Daniels]

Burps. That's right.

[Kevin Ryan]

It smelled like farts. The worst kind of. The worst kind of fart. Endor burp.

[H. Foley]

I don't know why we gotta bring this up.

[Chad Daniels]

Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Kelsey Cook]

Is that a smell coming out of your mouth?

[Kevin Ryan]

Took me two days to figure out what it was.

[Chad Daniels]

So Chad and I were on a plane together last year, and somebody in our section would not stop farting.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Chad Daniels]

Like, I'm talking 30 straight minutes.

[H. Foley]

Wow.

[Chad Daniels]

Of ripping ass. Yeah. Look at his pulse. Just the PTSD from this. So he. At first, Chad turned to me and was like, is that you?

[Kevin Ryan]

Which I'm like, listen, accuse your lady for that. Yo, you ripping ass over here.

[H. Foley]

But fair Right.

[Kelsey Cook]

I need information because if it's her, I'm not going to do.

[Kevin Ryan]

You have to go within the group first. It's like when a wife gets murdered, they have to ask the husband. They got to eliminate them first suspect.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[Kelsey Cook]

You're telling me it was a one armed man.

[Chad Daniels]

So this person keeps farting. Chad took his headphones off, got up a little bit and shouted to our entire section, hey, you stink. Go to the bathroom and take care of it. I wanted to flush myself out of the airplane toilet. I was. I'm just such a non confrontational person. And he's just so comfortable policing like being a dad to anybody for anybody.

[H. Foley]

What the flight attendants, did they come over or anything? There's a man.

[Kevin Ryan]

They were all wrapped up in the seatbelt extenders.

[H. Foley]

There's a man shouting in the aisle. Did that cause any attention from the.

[Kevin Ryan]

On a plane you become the problem that like in that the way they would go, we have an unruly man. You're allowed to fart. It's in last time I told you is America. You can eat whatever sandwich you want. You're allowed to fart on a plane, right?

[Kelsey Cook]

That's true. And I'm. I'm looking up on Tik Tok a science video called smelling is tasting. So I can show it to everybody saying like eating this man's okay. And so I'm just not into it. I'm not. I'm not into somebody constant. You fart once, I get it. You fart twice, whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't disagree.

[Kelsey Cook]

But now it's a game for you and I don't want to play.

[H. Foley]

Something tells me that situation would have made it worse if you were showing TikTok to the flight attendant. Your duct tape to the seat.

[Kevin Ryan]

I want to shake your hand. Okay.

[H. Foley]

All right.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right. That. All right. You're both TSA PreCheck.

[Chad Daniels]

Yep.

[H. Foley]

Do you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who has clear? Do you both have clear? Do you do that?

[Chad Daniels]

Both have clear.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very good, very good.

[H. Foley]

Hmm. Who's picking or doing the the travel. When you guys do stuff together professionally or when you do stuff vacation wise, who would be handling that?

[Kelsey Cook]

I think it's both of us.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah, we both. We like figure out our flights. We figure out hotel together. Nobody's like, no, it's not one person taking charge.

[Kelsey Cook]

I will. I will tell you what. There was a time where she depended on upgrades fly first class. I gotta tell you something.

[Kevin Ryan]

360 ain't doing that.

[H. Foley]

You're up front every time.

[Kelsey Cook]

I'm up front every time.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're driving them in a motherfucking porch. You think they're gonna put him in Delta Comfort now?

[Kelsey Cook]

By the way, this is the only thing like this in my life. I don't have any of this other shit anywhere else in my life.

[H. Foley]

Did the. Did the. Did the fart situation happen in first class?

[Chad Daniels]

Yes.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

It might have been you just.

[Chad Daniels]

You burping.

[Kevin Ryan]

Were we going to Cincinnati?

[H. Foley]

I wasn't even on the plane.

[Chad Daniels]

Just still in the ozone.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Really? All right. That changes things a little.

[Kelsey Cook]

And there was one. There was one time where she did not get upgraded. And it was a long flight, so I gave up my seat to go back to sit with her where they were dancing in the bottom of the Titanic.

[Kevin Ryan]

Bunch of Italians.

[Kelsey Cook]

And. And I just looked at her and she said, oh, my God, that's so nice. And I just said, but this is it. This is the one time.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is it. Yeah.

[Kelsey Cook]

And so now he meant it. And so now.

[H. Foley]

Has it happened again?

[Chad Daniels]

Or now I just. I just spend the money now.

[H. Foley]

Wow. Okay, good.

[Chad Daniels]

Yep.

[H. Foley]

All right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Respect that.

[Chad Daniels]

We're both on a plane so much, you do start to notice, like, if you are sitting in main cabin week after week, your neck gets so fucked up, you're not sleeping well.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're preaching to the fire. It's like the second I got a credit card, I was like, I am never going back.

[Chad Daniels]

It's an investment. Investment in your health. It's an investment in your health.

[Kelsey Cook]

I have rocked too many strangers, babies to sleep, to sit back.

[Kevin Ryan]

You would do that. You'd say, give me the baby.

[Kelsey Cook]

Sometimes they're like, I just don't know what to do. And I'm like, right here. Come on.

[H. Foley]

While cursing at the parents.

[Kevin Ryan]

Chad. Daddy got you, baby.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah, Just like a baby. Crying is one thing. Fart. I'm gonna fucking scream at you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, Kev.

[H. Foley]

Let's talk about open phone.

[Kevin Ryan]

Open the phones, gang.

[H. Foley]

If you're running a business, you know that every time you miss a call, you're leaving money on the table. We don't like to do that because we like the cash. When every customer conversation matters, you need a phone system that keeps up and helps you stay connected. That's why you need OpenPhone.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh.

[H. Foley]

OpenPhone is the number one business phone system that streamlines and scales your customer communication.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes. It works through an app on your phone or your computer, so you're not carrying around two, three phones. You got a landline, you're picking. Hey, hold on. Hold for Kippy. Big man's on the line. Anybody got eyes on new guy Luca? You're not like one of those old operators, plugging and going and plugging, sending television or whatever.

[H. Foley]

Mayberry 415.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, you're not. So whether you're a one person operation drowning in calls or texts, or have a large team that needs better collaborate collaboration tools, Open Phone is a no brainer for you See why over 50,000 businesses trust OpenPhone to manage their business calls and texts? Here's the turkey. Open Phone is offering our listeners 20% off your first six [e-mail] garbage. That's open phone. O p e n p h open o n e dot com garbage. And if you have existing numbers with another service, Open Phone will port them over at no extra charge because they're good peeps. One more time. Open Phone. No missed calls, no missed customers. Do it. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

What about Light Strike, baby?

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to Light Strike.

[H. Foley]

That's right. Listen up, all you party animals out there. The Two Bears 5K in Tampa, Florida on May 4 is sponsored by the first beverage built to output pace the party. Of course, we're talking about Light Strike Hard Refresher, an excellent source of 5% alcohol.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes, light Strike Hard Refresher is finally here. And unlike any other alcohol the industry has ever seen, it isn't just a drink. It's a gosh darn survival tool, baby. It's the perfect party pacer. Why choose between fun and function now? You ain't got to 100%. This is a hydration drink inspired cocktail. That low key brings its own self care to the party with a crushable mix of coconut water, sea salt and 5% alcohol by volume. Talk about being efficient. Be efficient with Light Strike. They're striking quick.

[H. Foley]

Light Strike Party harder, party longer.

[Kevin Ryan]

Drink them cold or over ice and just watch how fast it disappears. It's a good time. They were kind enough to send us about 38 cases. I got that stuff coming out of my ears.

[H. Foley]

We're going through it.

[Kevin Ryan]

And the best thing is my wife thinks I'm just draining. My wife thinks I'm working on my hydration. Oh, look at him.

[H. Foley]

Want to be drunk at the gym? Let's go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Learn more about Light strike@drink light strike.com or follow on TikTok and Instagram @drink lifestrike. Life Strike Hard Refresher, an excellent source of 5% alcohol. Do it.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is one thing that we've been doing on the show since you've both been here. Who growing up in both of you individually who was the first famous person you met? It could have. Didn't have to be a. You know, it could have been like a local radio guy somebody has seen in a commercial. Celebrity came to town. An athlete when you were a kid. Who jumps out at you?

[Chad Daniels]

God. Do you have one?

[Kelsey Cook]

I do.

[Chad Daniels]

Go for it.

[Kelsey Cook]

Frank Viola, pitcher for the Minnesota Twins.

[H. Foley]

Wow. Pretty good.

[Kelsey Cook]

Started the circle change, and we waited behind the Metrodome at the time to get autographs.

[H. Foley]

You started the circle change?

[Kelsey Cook]

Circle change is a change up where instead of just throwing it slower, you'd make a circle with your fingers.

[H. Foley]

Oh, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a pretty good one.

[H. Foley]

It's very insightful.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hanging out to get autographs.

[H. Foley]

I like it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not bad.

[H. Foley]

That's respectable.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yours is probably like a foosball player.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. My. My brain is scrambled from meeting.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, your parents, essentially. Yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

When I was young, meeting big foosball players, that was exciting to me. But I mean, give me an example.

[H. Foley]

Of a name of a famous foosball player from back in the day.

[Chad Daniels]

Oh, man. Well, Cindy Head is like, that's a good one. She's like an ex cop from Alabama, and she is the winningest person in foosball. She has the most championships of anybody in foosball, so. Meaning, I mean, like, you grow up and you kind of hear about these people, then you meet them at a tournament.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, That's a celebrity deal. Of course.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

When I was in college, I got to interview Kareem Abdul Jabbar, and that was very cool. I worked for, like, a. Like an ESPN affiliate in college for a little bit where you were like, student reporting. And that was like, oh, my God, I feel like I shouldn't even be allowed to talk to you. You're such a massive person, and I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I got a fucking little camcorder.

[H. Foley]

I mean, that's awesome.

[Chad Daniels]

He's very nice.

[H. Foley]

Give us both a point for that.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a really good one.

[H. Foley]

Too shabby. Let's do the. The high school notable alum. Notable alum.

[Kevin Ryan]

What was the name of the high school each one of you went to? We find out if you're on Wikipedia's notable alum from that said institution.

[Kelsey Cook]

No chance.

[Kevin Ryan]

You'd be surprised.

[Chad Daniels]

Cheney High School Cheney.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can I get a spelling on that? You don't know how to spell Cheney?

[Chad Daniels]

C H E N E Y.

[H. Foley]

He was looking up. Cindy Head.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. The pressure's on, Luke.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

Now there can't be nothing. Tumbleweed.

[Kevin Ryan]

We got Two.

[H. Foley]

Who?

[Kevin Ryan]

We got an astronaut, Michael P. Anderson. That's a gift. And then Steve Entman, a football.

[H. Foley]

The football player.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

All right.

[Kevin Ryan]

You should be on there.

[H. Foley]

How old was the astronaut? You didn't go to high school with an astronaut, did you?

[Chad Daniels]

No, no, no. But I do remember. I think we have a gym named after him.

[Kevin Ryan]

Graduated in 77.

[Chad Daniels]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's your age.

[Chad Daniels]

Good.

[H. Foley]

And what about Mr. Daniels?

[Kelsey Cook]

F. Fergus Falls, Minnesota.

[Kevin Ryan]

Found that one. Comes up on your wiki. Really got to be linked. Only notable alum.

[Kelsey Cook]

I didn't.

[H. Foley]

That's. He's got the 360.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's in there for being Delta 360. Not a comedian.

[H. Foley]

Only guy in town ever riding a Porsche.

[Chad Daniels]

Oh, my.

[Kevin Ryan]

Most run ins with TSA and air marshals.

[Kelsey Cook]

Still not in the hall of Fame, though, for that school.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really?

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah, I had.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's crazy.

[Kelsey Cook]

Well, I. I don't. I don't think it's crazy at all. I think it's like, you know, athletes and people that have gone on to actually do important things.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kelsey Cook]

I think that's what it is.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. But there's no other notable alum. So who could have. I mean. I mean, the barrier to entry is.

[H. Foley]

You know, anybody off rips that went to your high school that was famous.

[Kelsey Cook]

Well, we had a couple guys that played for the Twins.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kelsey Cook]

Farm league. And then we had a guy that went to. We had a guy that went to West Point. Guy I graduated with, John Pontius, went to West Point and was like, the face of their track and field because his triple jump was.

[Kevin Ryan]

Triple jump. My brother did that. I never understood that.

[H. Foley]

Fucking. What's triple jump?

[Kevin Ryan]

You, like, jump with your left foot, your left foot, then your right foot.

[H. Foley]

It's into the sand.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's the long. Yeah, but not the regular long jump. You, like, skip. That's the only way.

[H. Foley]

It's not the hurdles.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nope.

[Chad Daniels]

It's like a power skip.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

It's a weird event.

[H. Foley]

Hurdles were tough for me. Wasn't my event.

[Kevin Ryan]

No one is shy.

[Chad Daniels]

The silence that followed that, we're like, okay, all right.

[Kelsey Cook]

Just a lot of people yelling. You're supposed to go over that.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's eating it.

[H. Foley]

It ran right through. Okay. Sticking to the travel. How's the hotel situation with you guys together? Are you guys a pretty good cohesive unit?

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah. You know, there's like, we gotta navigate morning poops, where it's like, I gotta go. Don't go anywhere near there for 20 minutes. Like, we did. Like, that's kind of the only thing that we have to coordinate other than that.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Especially sometimes. You get like, that sliding door. You're like, what the. What are we doing?

[Chad Daniels]

What is this? Yeah. Frosted glass. I'm like, I don't need you seeing my silhouette as I. At 8am this is a horrifying way to start the day together. Yeah.

[Kelsey Cook]

And look at us. I'm one mistake away from being out of this relationship.

[Chad Daniels]

Oh, my God.

[Kelsey Cook]

Foul. I get nervous.

[Kevin Ryan]

Matter. Take care of that.

[H. Foley]

It's all that roast beef.

[Chad Daniels]

Beef and ketchup.

[H. Foley]

Do either of you guys unpack? This is a big Luke thing. Do you either you guys unpack your stuff when you're at a hotel, will you put your. Like.

[Kevin Ryan]

Or do you live out.

[H. Foley]

Put it in the drawers or in the closet.

[Chad Daniels]

No, we're not doing the drawers. I'll, like, occasionally hang up a shirt if it's gonna get really wrinkly but normal. I learned something about him yesterday. A really big germaphobe with the hotel carpet. Like, I set a pillow on the ground and he's like, that can't come back on the bed.

[Kevin Ryan]

I wouldn't know.

[Chad Daniels]

Interesting. Interesting. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

My pillow. They're all over the place.

[Kevin Ryan]

You would not do well in a relationship.

[H. Foley]

They usually, Mr. Daniel, fall on the floor when I'm sleeping, and I gotta reach down and grab. Because I hug one.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah. No, I'll get a new room. I'll call down for a new room before I grab that pillow. It's because you take. I don't. You know, you're walking around, everything's.

[Kevin Ryan]

Everyone's in shoes.

[Kelsey Cook]

And then it's one crunch and I go, nope. I bring slippers. That's it.

[Kevin Ryan]

You won't pay. Slippers.

[H. Foley]

Overall.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dog in your feet.

[Kelsey Cook]

I bring slippers.

[H. Foley]

No kiddos.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Wow.

[Kelsey Cook]

I can't do it.

[H. Foley]

Man's man like you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Slippers. You're barking up the wrong tree. I apologize for my friend making fun of your slipper choice.

[H. Foley]

You don't wear slippers at the house.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't think they're Bugs Bunny.

[Chad Daniels]

You do. Yeah, they're like. Yeah, they're like Birkenstock.

[Kelsey Cook]

Well, she also brought two cats. And so that's your joke, right?

[Chad Daniels]

No, I'm. When I moved over to Minnesota, I.

[H. Foley]

Thought you'd been on the trip.

[Chad Daniels]

Oh, God.

[Kelsey Cook]

I mean, might as well. So she brought him to the house.

[Kevin Ryan]

You drive or fly?

[Chad Daniels]

I flew.

[Kevin Ryan]

You flew with the cats.

[Chad Daniels]

Okay. Yep. And he came. So we each had a cat.

[Kevin Ryan]

That is a smudge on the 360. No, you don't Know what this is costing me?

[Kelsey Cook]

You know what? We're down to 180, dude.

[H. Foley]

Were you a. Were you a cat person before? No, I never had cats.

[Kelsey Cook]

No.

[H. Foley]

That's a big jump.

[Kelsey Cook]

That's a huge jump. She bought two of them.

[H. Foley]

Adults, obviously, not kittens. So you couldn't even get cutesy. Cutesy with them and then watch them.

[Kevin Ryan]

Grow up and then those things just don't like you.

[Kelsey Cook]

And this now they do like me and I. We've. We've bonded. I'm allergic to cats. That wasn't great right away.

[H. Foley]

So what do you do?

[Kelsey Cook]

Sneeze.

[H. Foley]

No kidding.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah, it's a lot of that. It's a lot of going to bed with your eyes burning. But I wear slippers because if I don't, my socks end up looking like cotton candy.

[Kevin Ryan]

I agree with that.

[H. Foley]

Okay. All right. Slippers in the house.

[Kevin Ryan]

Are either one of you currently reading any books?

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah, I'm about to finish the Acotar series. I heard of this. A Court of Thorns and Roses. It's like. Like fairy porn.

[H. Foley]

Thorns and roses?

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah. Is that what you said? Yeah, it's called the. The first one's called A Court of Thorns and Roses. And then there's five of them, and then each one is like a court.

[Kevin Ryan]

And you're about to finish the series.

[Chad Daniels]

About to finish the fifth one.

[Kelsey Cook]

It's like.

[Chad Daniels]

It's, like, taken over. It's like adult Twilight.

[Kevin Ryan]

Gotcha.

[H. Foley]

That's pretty adult.

[Kelsey Cook]

I was going to. I was going to say if Lord of the Rings was a. Had a cock ring. It's more like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Seen that video.

[Chad Daniels]

They're really good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Are you reading anything?

[Kelsey Cook]

I am. I'm reading Sam Talon's book right now.

[H. Foley]

Shout out to Santa out on a random house right now, I believe.

[Kelsey Cook]

Right. I got to tell you, this. Your first time write his.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's insane. Is it your first time reading it? Yeah, I. I went back and read it maybe six months ago, and I texted him probably every day, just being like, it's insane.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

That this story is in you.

[Kelsey Cook]

It is.

[Kevin Ryan]

And the word it's crazy.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah, it's. It's walking thesaurus. And he uses names of. Of people we know, which I. Which I thought was awesome.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Kelsey Cook]

Even if they're not comedians in the thing. Like, he uses the name Kurt Fletcher as a. As a guy that's selling coke at a random bar. And Kirk Fletcher is a dude from New Mexico that I've worked with a million, so it's really cool.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, Very good. Two. Two good. Ones.

[H. Foley]

Is that a typical read for you would be a novel or are you more of a non fiction?

[Kevin Ryan]

Guns and Ammo Quarterly.

[H. Foley]

I picture reading like the autobiography of Douglas MacArthur or something like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. As he's cleaning a handgun, reading a.

[Kelsey Cook]

Lot of war stories.

[Chad Daniels]

That's what's next to the toilet for him in his private.

[Kelsey Cook]

It's my ketchup.

[H. Foley]

Kelsey, are there. Are there reading materials in. Next to the bathroom? Toilet in the bathroom.

[Chad Daniels]

We did have a little. Was like Beatles quotes book that he got for Christmas. Okay, that's like a nice little. Little read.

[H. Foley]

Do we use our phones in there?

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah, we're wordling and wordling.

[Kevin Ryan]

Classy.

[Chad Daniels]

We have. Should we tell him we have like a. We've been doing this for so long. We have a tournament going all the time where we're doing. We're competing against each other in Wordle and Nurdle and Quirtle.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. You lost me. I have never touched Wordle. I have the idea. I've seen the picture. But what's Nurdle and turtle?

[Chad Daniels]

So Nurdle is like the.

[H. Foley]

Talk about fairy porn. Yikes. Hot stuff.

[Kelsey Cook]

You should know that I'm always in my slippers when I'm doing this.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's got air curlers in.

[H. Foley]

Playing adult Yahtzee.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah. Nerdle's the math version of Wordle. So you're trying to guess an equation basically. And then Quirtle is like wordle but times four. We just. We're like 97. We like puzzles and stuff. And so.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, that's great.

[H. Foley]

Are there any puzzle puzzles, like on a dining room table?

[Chad Daniels]

Like, you know, we don't have jigsaw puzzles.

[H. Foley]

Jigsaws, that's what it's called.

[Kevin Ryan]

Have either one of you ever owned that 3D art?

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You, like, kind of focus?

[Chad Daniels]

Well, I used to do like. Oh, that. I used to do 3D puzzles when I was a kid, but not 3D art.

[Kevin Ryan]

Are you like. It was like a building or whatever?

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah, it was like. It was like a jigsaw puzzle, but the pieces were thick and made of like foam in the middle. And so you would build like castles and stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

He never finished it.

[Kelsey Cook]

I used to tell my kids that a lot of the pictures in my house, if you focus on the middle, it would become something else. Just for a little peace and quiet. It's not working. Yeah. No. Try again. Try the next one.

[H. Foley]

It's a mirror. They're just sitting there staring into it. Yeah. Okay. And you guys said you moved. You guys both you Got a place together, right?

[Chad Daniels]

Yes.

[H. Foley]

How was the decorating of that? Was there things that you guys had in a previous life that you brought, or was it all new furniture and all that kind of stuff and that decision making process?

[Chad Daniels]

So Chad had a house before we moved in together, and so he had way more stuff.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha.

[Chad Daniels]

He was fully adult, like, raised children in this house. He's got paintings, like real adult shit. I was living in apartments, so he had more of a. Like, hey, can we put these paintings I have up? And I didn't mind too much him wrestling a bear.

[Kelsey Cook]

This. First of all, we moved into a townhome, which we did not decorate.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah. We knew we were going to be there for not.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, so you kind of moved into a flop house prior to.

[Kelsey Cook]

Pretty much just to see, like, my.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dad did that when we got to. When he got divorced. I've been in those apartments and townhouses a couple of times.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah. Bear walls.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yep.

[Chad Daniels]

Things still in boxes, Eating in folding.

[Kevin Ryan]

Chairs, leaving in the middle of the night. We moved the one time, 1am what.

[H. Foley]

Do you kids think? This is pretty good, huh? They're all crying.

[Kelsey Cook]

Grab the lone acoustic guitar.

[Kevin Ryan]

Has your mother been seeing anyone?

[H. Foley]

The acoustic guitar?

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, so you had a. You had a starter townhouse, right. As you guys just got your. You got settled in the area and.

[H. Foley]

To see if you guys could cohabitate.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah, I mean, I. I don't think we. Doubt it. I wouldn't have moved across the fucking country to Minnesota in the middle of January if I felt like this wasn't going to.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't even tour there in the middle of January.

[Chad Daniels]

Brutal move. So, I mean, I think we both felt pretty confident. But buying. I mean, this is my first house. You bought a house?

[H. Foley]

Well, you bought a house together?

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Really? I didn't know that.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right. The stakes have just been raised.

[H. Foley]

50. 50. 50.

[Kelsey Cook]

50.

[H. Foley]

Whoa.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

All right. Okay. Interesting.

[Kelsey Cook]

My, my. We have a little lake cabin and the neighbors, when they saw her the first time and we told them we bought a house, they were like, oh, you guys bought a house or you bought the house and she lives there? And I was like, I get it. But she also. She pays 50.

[H. Foley]

That's right. You have. You have a lake house. Right. Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Forgot about that.

[H. Foley]

Yes. How far away is that from the main house where the bodies are buried?

[Kevin Ryan]

I probably made that joke.

[Kelsey Cook]

Now it's 2 hours and 45 minutes.

[H. Foley]

Okay. And that's your. That's you guys vacation home in the summer.

[Kelsey Cook]

I'm there almost the Entire summer.

[H. Foley]

Wait, really?

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you not work in the summer then?

[Kelsey Cook]

I hardly work in the summer yet. Couple. Couple of one offs.

[H. Foley]

Wait a minute.

[Chad Daniels]

Chad's really like. He has lived his life exactly the way he wants to.

[H. Foley]

Hold on. So in the summer, will you. You'll be there and go out on tour from there?

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Or is there like stretches where he's there and you're at the other house?

[Chad Daniels]

Sometimes there's a little. I take more work in the summer than he does. Not much. He's been a good example of trying to have more balance in my life and not just be on the road all the time. But I also like. I like our. It's our. We bought our dream house. It's amazing. Okay, so to go out to the cabin, it's like I got to drive the cats out there. He loves water. I'm not like a big swimmer, not a big bug person. So he. It's like his huge bug guy.

[H. Foley]

Everybody knows that.

[Kelsey Cook]

I just sit out there at 10pm Land on me like a pigeon lady.

[H. Foley]

So what are you doing out there all summer by yourself?

[Chad Daniels]

His kids. His. His daughter comes home from college.

[Kevin Ryan]

He also live in life.

[Chad Daniels]

Man could live by himself forever, though.

[H. Foley]

Do the kids come out and stay out there for the summer and then like work from there?

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah. So my son is married. He's got his own thing going on, but he lives pretty close to the cabin. And then my daughter will be home and she'll go back and forth to her mom's cabin. And I golf, I swim a ton.

[H. Foley]

So there's like.

[Kelsey Cook]

Like it.

[H. Foley]

This is like a. Somewhat of a destination for the summer, like the. The Jersey shore would be to people in Philly. So there's like. Like a community out there. So like a cabin, like on a lake by itself. Right.

[Kelsey Cook]

It's 800 people in this town in the winter and 30, 000 in the summer.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right.

[H. Foley]

So you're basically down to shore for the summer in my sure dirt bag Philly brain.

[Kelsey Cook]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just say yeah.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Yep.

[Kevin Ryan]

He can only equate it.

[H. Foley]

Well, that makes a little more sense than him in a cabin by himself on a lake.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, that makes more sense to me.

[H. Foley]

If he was killing people or something like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Living by candlelight in his little slippers, saw off shotgun, dressed like a woman.

[H. Foley]

I don't know.

[Kelsey Cook]

We'll see what happens next time somebody says something to me at the airport.

[Kevin Ryan]

Take care of it.

[H. Foley]

He's talking to people that whittled.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right.

[H. Foley]

Okay. We're having fun. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do either one of you have any. Currently have any half used gift cards?

[Chad Daniels]

Oh yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

To where do you think?

[Chad Daniels]

I think we've got like a restaurant one.

[Kelsey Cook]

Don't bring me into this.

[Chad Daniels]

Maybe in maybe an Abercrombie and Fitch. Okay, I got a few. Yeah. It's like you got eight bucks on it or something.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're like, well, I'm holding on to it.

[Chad Daniels]

Feels dumb to throw it away, but when are you gonna use it? I don't know, Chad.

[H. Foley]

Daniel's not a gift card guy. I would have to assume.

[Kelsey Cook]

I mean I'll. I'll receive them with a smile on my face, but when I use them, I try to use them all up. Or if it's too big of an amount for a normal tip, try to leave it. Make the person's day, whatever it is.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha.

[Kelsey Cook]

She's dipping gift cards in ranch like the white trashiest person you've ever seen. And then I'll clap the balance. I've never asked for a balance.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh yeah? What's the balance of that? Can you. Well, is the balance on the receipt right? You're logging in.

[Kelsey Cook]

I would rather file for bankruptcy than have to ask someone what my gift card balance is.

[H. Foley]

That's funny that this came up. Cause I got a situation like to get a 360s man. A 360 man's opinion on this. Okay, I got a dinner.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can I borrow 80 bucks?

[H. Foley]

Got the keys of that pork?

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I have a dinner on Saturday at a pretty nice place that my. This just happened that my wife's been wanting to go to. The girls at work got her a gift card or a gift certificate to this place.

[Kevin Ryan]

You left this out of when we found out you were. He's going to a nice restaurant, he drops it on us.

[H. Foley]

I'm not a gift card guy. I'm not a gift.

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't know there was a guy. I didn't know there's a gift card in the work.

[H. Foley]

I'm very social anxiety when it comes to that stuff. You know what I mean? I tip really well. I don't want any, you know, problems. It's got to be smooth. I'm not splitting the jack or anything like that. This gift card that the girls got her at work. I know is not going to cover the bill.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do we know? Can you tell us what it is?

[H. Foley]

I think it's 200.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Chad Daniels]

Nice.

[H. Foley]

I want to say it's 200. This is obviously. So this is a rare occasion. It's a special place. She really wants to go. Whatever. It's an expensive. I gotta wear a fucking jacket tie.

[Chad Daniels]

Whoa.

[Kevin Ryan]

You have three with you. We could sew together. That was a question.

[H. Foley]

I kind of don't want to use the gift card because I. Because I know I'm gonna have to go, here's the gift card. And then put the rest on this card. I just. And especially if it's a nice place like that, I don't want these fucking rich fuckers thinking that I don't belong there.

[Kevin Ryan]

You do not. You don't have the attire, and you're paying with a gift card.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kelsey Cook]

Well, I wouldn't go be out the cabin. Yeah. Be like, pipe burst. Enjoy your gift card. But if. If I'm there, I think it's okay to say, here's the gift card. Put the rest on here and then leave a sizable tip.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kelsey Cook]

I think that's fine. I'm assuming that's what you did.

[H. Foley]

This will be this side of it. That's proud that that is what I will. Oh, this.

[Kelsey Cook]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got an idea. A little bit more of a flex than the double card cash. Have a couple of hundos on you. That shows you're a player in the city. You got for real, like, oh, here's the gift card.

[H. Foley]

Boom, boom, boom.

[Kevin Ryan]

The rest is free. That's all for you.

[H. Foley]

Cab. Let's talk about Acorn.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to Acorns gang.

[H. Foley]

Saving the family over here wasn't for Acorns, I'd be screwed.

[Kevin Ryan]

You ain't lying.

[H. Foley]

I'd be going through it like water. I'm signed up on Acorns. I have a little taken out every week, putting a little nest egg away. By the time I'm 88, I'm gonna be a goddamn millionaire. So look out, baby gang, if you're looking for ways to save, I'm telling you right now, Acords is simple. It's easy. You get to track your progress. You get to see what's going on. They give you your potential of what you could be earning. It's absolutely fantastic. So if you're a dumbass like me and not great with. With spending and saving, do yourself. Get over to Acorns and get yourself straightened out, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I've been using acorns for a few years now. Only way I've been able to squirrel away a couple of bucks. If you don't, you don't need to be rich. Acorns let you get started with just the spare money you've got right now. And if you sign up and join over the 14 million all time customers who have already saved and invested over $25 billion worth of acorns. Listen, you ain't by yourself over there at Acorns. You're with a gosh darn army. Head to acorns.com garbage or download the Acorns app to get started. This is paid client endorsement. Compensation provides incentive deposit. Promote Acorns a tier one compensation provided investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors, LLC is an SEC registered investment advisor. View important [e-mail] garbage do it.

[H. Foley]

Do it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Kip, you like Blue Chew Bonerville? Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Let's go con all you softies out there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Couple of pushing ropes out there.

[H. Foley]

Listen, let's be honest. You get a little older, you put on a little weight, need a little help in the bedroom, you know what I mean? When you're at the gym and you're lifting heavy weight, you need a little spotter. Let Bluechew do a little spotting for you in the boudoir.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm. Last thing you want is her to be ready and you to be, you know, give me a second. Said that before smashing it in the fucking junk drawer to try to get it started.

[H. Foley]

Anybody got any jumper cables?

[Kevin Ryan]

Great sex is just a few clicks away. You sign [e-mail] you can sew with one of their licensed medical providers. And Blue Chew tablets are made right here in the usa, baby. We're talking homegrown bones shipped directly to your door. It's. I mean, it's the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis in one chewable form. Bluechew won't stop until every man is bricked up like a brick house. And that is their mission. Make life easier by getting harder. And discover your [e-mail] and we got a special deal for our listeners. You try your first month. Try your first month of Bluetooth for free. When you use the promo code garbage, just pay the five bucks in shipping. That's promo code garbage at visit Promo code garbage. Visit bluetooth.com for more details and important safety info. And we thank Bluechew for sponsoring the podcast. Now back to the show. Back to the show. Back to the show.

[H. Foley]

Because I don't know how. If I go. If we go there and I tell her, which I normally would. I don't want to use the gift card. You go ahead and use it with one of your girlfriends. It's too nice of a. She's not going to go back. So I got to use it. Yep.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can't just Go to Applebee's whenever you tell you.

[Chad Daniels]

Also, if this place is offering gift cards, this is something you have to picture on a daily basis. One of these servers is probably running one of these cards. It's not personal. You can't help that. Somebody gave that to you as a gift.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, but it's a gift card. Queen's talking now.

[Chad Daniels]

You know, I know there's a reason.

[Kevin Ryan]

She'S sticking to her purse. I might have a couple of bucks to there.

[H. Foley]

I want to take 75 out on the gift card. Put the rest on this discover card.

[Kelsey Cook]

Let's look at this from a relationship standpoint. Your wife at work is such a good person that people got together and gave her 200 gift card. And she probably wants to use that and for you guys and say, hey, look at this, I got this for being awesome. You know, she probably wants to feel that.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I don't leave everything out.

[Kelsey Cook]

I tried.

[H. Foley]

I'm kidding.

[Kevin Ryan]

Where do I look?

[H. Foley]

Right? No, that's good advice.

[Kelsey Cook]

I tried.

[H. Foley]

That's good. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just hit them with the cash and keep it moving.

[H. Foley]

Speaking of dinner, do you guys like to share things? Will you share an appetizer?

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Okay, well, you maybe get something like Kelsey gets the lasagna and you get the steak and hey, we'll. We'll share it. Or are we individual entrees only?

[Chad Daniels]

Nowhere.

[H. Foley]

Sharon, he's not a freak with that stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

Whoa, you are really poking the bear, my guy.

[Chad Daniels]

Well, I just telling you, you gotta tread lightly today.

[H. Foley]

We gotta.

[Kevin Ryan]

Everybody in the room is like, knock it the off.

[H. Foley]

I figured he would be protective of.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's.

[H. Foley]

He's a particular guy. It's his plate.

[Kevin Ryan]

He just locked the door with his eyes. Chad, I'm on your side. I'll hit this guy right now.

[H. Foley]

He's got the wooden knuckles on.

[Kelsey Cook]

Oh, my God.

[H. Foley]

Is that a wooden gun? Yes, it is.

[Kelsey Cook]

Oh, yeah, she. She's allergic to pistachios and cashews. And so if I want something to myself.

[Chad Daniels]

Why did you say it like that? Did the Delta 360 start?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got a reality toys.

[Kelsey Cook]

I'm sorry. I said pistachios and then I sneezed.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's wrong?

[H. Foley]

I'll have the honey roasted cashews, please.

[Kelsey Cook]

Cashews. Cat cashews.

[Chad Daniels]

Cashews.

[Kelsey Cook]

Oh, cashews.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kelsey Cook]

Sorry. Gift card.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, my bad.

[H. Foley]

We got them fighting now.

[Chad Daniels]

Can I tell you now?

[Kelsey Cook]

We had to shake hands before we open the door.

[Kevin Ryan]

Been there, buddy.

[H. Foley]

Oh, man, is that the best?

[Kevin Ryan]

I also just realized you Guys did the very dirt bag thing of buying a house out of wedlock. That's like, what, Dirtbag?

[Chad Daniels]

We've done everything.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know. That's just, like, what?

[Chad Daniels]

We got life insurance, recently bought a house. We've done all of these big things before marriage.

[Kelsey Cook]

Not all of them, but like.

[Chad Daniels]

Like, what?

[Kevin Ryan]

Something's starting.

[Chad Daniels]

Like what?

[Kelsey Cook]

Oh, nothing.

[Chad Daniels]

You know what's fun? So today's my birthday.

[H. Foley]

Happy birthday.

[Chad Daniels]

Thank you. And I'm not. I'm. That's very nice. Thank you. I'm. I'm just saying it so that when he starts to get sassy today. Today's my one day a year where I can give him a look like, hey, it's my birthday.

[H. Foley]

Be nice.

[Chad Daniels]

Be nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

What are the plans for the birthday?

[Kelsey Cook]

Well, we're doing stuff yesterday.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He surprised me with tickets to Glengarry again.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right.

[H. Foley]

Gentleman's move. Not cheap tickets either.

[Chad Daniels]

On Broadway. Yes, yes, yes. Got me. You get so uncomfortable when I say nice things about you. Got me. Like, a really nice Tumi backpack. Like, really just, like, very nice. Like, really, really spoiled me. And then we were telling you guys beforehand that we ran into club soda Kenny, the incredible Club soda Kenny, who took us backstage, and we got to meet Bob Odenkirk, and we got to say hi to Bill Burr. It was just. It was an amazing night. So that was, like, kind of our big birthday celebration night. And then today, Very nice. We're performing together tonight, so it's very fun.

[H. Foley]

We love it.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's Big Softiness Daniels.

[Chad Daniels]

He really is. He has such a prickly exterior and, like, eyes that do look like he could lock a door with them, but on the inside, he's just the best.

[H. Foley]

He's a man's man.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Good for the ladies. All men's men are good with the. Good with the broads.

[Kelsey Cook]

I'm sweating.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know.

[Chad Daniels]

I make him so uncomfortable when I say nice things about him.

[H. Foley]

Nothing too trashy. If. If I can say really? Up to this point, you know, wow.

[Chad Daniels]

We've really. I think we've gotten better now that we're together.

[H. Foley]

They're shopping at Whole Foods.

[Chad Daniels]

United forces.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's breakfast looking like if you're both.

[H. Foley]

At the house and who's making it?

[Chad Daniels]

Usually we'll both just. Both do a smoothie.

[H. Foley]

What about, like, on a Sunday? You know, you're. You're letting the hair down.

[Kevin Ryan]

Smoothie in some cashews.

[Chad Daniels]

I can catch up in there somehow. Sundays, usually, we'll. We'll order pizza. Not for breakfast. Like, we'll both fly in on a Sunday. Yeah. That would take all of our.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, that makes sense.

[H. Foley]

That's right. You're both flying in on a Sunday. You're both getting home. That's got to be nice and cozy. You're both coming off the road.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Trade war stories.

[H. Foley]

Are we unpacking right away that night?

[Chad Daniels]

No, Chad will never unpack. It's just a perpetual cycle of I.

[Kelsey Cook]

Leave my suitcase and then Thursday night I open it, wash those clothes, go right back, put them back in for Friday morning.

[H. Foley]

I like it. That's great.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's crazy.

[H. Foley]

I just. I just opened my suitcase from tourists for a month.

[Kevin Ryan]

20, 21.

[Chad Daniels]

Oh, my God.

[H. Foley]

And the reason I did it is because I ran out of socks and underwear and I remembered that I had some in there and I figured since they had been sitting in the suitcase so long, theoretically they were fresher than anything I was going to pull out of the thing.

[Kelsey Cook]

You were wrong.

[Chad Daniels]

Yes. I have to unpack fast now because I just started. He started packing his slippers with him. I started packing my pillow with me. Like my good pillow from home.

[Kevin Ryan]

Traveling with a pillow.

[Chad Daniels]

Bring in my foot. Because all these hotels is different pillows and it really messes.

[Kevin Ryan]

I understand it, but that's how. Where do you put the pillow when you're traveling?

[Chad Daniels]

It's just on one half and I can squish it down. I can put stuff on top of it and zip that compartment. Actually, it works better than I thought it would. It's like not taking up too much space.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know what does. You ever break that out on the plane and like nestle up in the corner?

[Chad Daniels]

No, because the way you are with hotel carpets. I feel that way about planes. I'm just like, I don't want anything that's going to be touching my face.

[Kevin Ryan]

I agree.

[Chad Daniels]

Touching the plane stuff.

[H. Foley]

Let's get to sleep in a little bit. How many are we in a king size bed at the. At the house?

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Okay. How many pillows are on the bed?

[Chad Daniels]

Oh, my God.

[Kelsey Cook]

That's not. No. On the bed.

[Chad Daniels]

On the bed.

[Kelsey Cook]

Different question.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah, yeah. Normal amount of pillows. Two to four. Like one for me, one to two for me.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

We're not one of the people that has like 50 decorative pillows, but he. They're half.

[Kelsey Cook]

I went through a pillow phase. I was trying to find out. I was trying to find out. Yes. How sharp my knives were. Trying to find it, like, for my neck. What? So I didn't wake up with a kink or shoulder pain.

[Kevin Ryan]

Smart.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kelsey Cook]

And so I probably have 15 pillows in my closet.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. Were you doing like normal? Just north standard regular. Are you doing like the design with the curves and the foam and.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah, I got a couple of those, but when you take those out of the plastic, they're from China and they just smell like cancer.

[Kevin Ryan]

So bad.

[Chad Daniels]

It's so bad. Yeah.

[Kelsey Cook]

And then. Yeah, I just tried a bunch.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. If you get a winner, I finally.

[H. Foley]

Found one and you're one. One pillow guy. One pillow on your side. I can't remember.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah, I sleep on my side on my back. I can snore on your back.

[H. Foley]

You can store it. Kept two behind your head sometimes.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

If I'm reading nothing between anybody's legs or holding anything. Nothing like that. And you guys sleep away from each other or facing into each other.

[Kelsey Cook]

Oh.

[Chad Daniels]

I wish we cuddled more, but Chad is a very. Like, the second I get in bed, don't touch me. Literally, the bed is for sleep. Don't touch me. Don't. It's like a very cuddle free zone. He's like, the couch is for cuddles, the bed is for sleep.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't hate that.

[H. Foley]

I don't hate it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't hate it.

[Kelsey Cook]

The only Christian morale I have is the bed is for sleeping. That's it. I mean, other. It's.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's.

[Kelsey Cook]

You get in there, all of a sudden you're 20 minutes into a conversation, but your body's tricked because it has been laying down and now you're staring at the ceiling for 40 minutes more.

[Kevin Ryan]

Functional.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yes.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha. Is there a TV in the room? No, no TV. So when we go to bed, we go to bed. Yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

Chat it. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shut it down.

[H. Foley]

Read. We read a little bit.

[Kelsey Cook]

Can.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

How about the phones?

[Chad Daniels]

They're like bedside. But we're not the people who like, sit and just scroll TikTok before bed. We're trying to. We try to be good about, like, not looking at blue light before bed.

[Kelsey Cook]

She's also. She now she has. I don't remember what it's called, but it's.

[Chad Daniels]

Oh, a hatch alarm clock.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, we have one too.

[Chad Daniels]

Okay. They're great.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, it does the rain sounds and all that shit too, right? Yeah.

[Kelsey Cook]

But she also has the wind down.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah. There's like a.

[H. Foley]

Ours has like a little.

[Kevin Ryan]

You gotta school me. I don't know what we're talking about.

[Chad Daniels]

So it's like not bougie. It's like an Alexa, but an alarm clock.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Chad Daniels]

And it can give you different soundscapes and lightscapes. And all this stuff and there are different programs or whatever to help you fall asleep. So there will be like a 10 minute meditation relaxation thing sucks. And Chad.

[Kevin Ryan]

I had a feeling.

[Chad Daniels]

I cannot stand it.

[H. Foley]

What's Chad's.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah. It's like we listen to the beginning of Metallica's wand and we go to bed.

[Kevin Ryan]

Impresit me.

[Kelsey Cook]

Exactly. How do you not sleep to that?

[Chad Daniels]

And then he. His alarm is wake up. Why would you put a little just immediate system of a down.

[H. Foley]

He likes to fall asleep to radio chatter from Vietnam.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're taking heavy fire.

[Kelsey Cook]

She. She used to have just an app before she got this hatch and it sounds like the elf from Harry Potter. Okay. This was her little wind down where it was like the day is over and nighttime is upon us.

[H. Foley]

I don't like it either. Shut it down.

[Kelsey Cook]

No shit. That's what I'm saying.

[Chad Daniels]

Dementor.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got a question that was relatively a hot or a debate on this. Are you guys a Home Depot family or are you a Lowe's family? You might be Minal. What is that? Is it Menards out there?

[Kelsey Cook]

There's all three.

[Chad Daniels]

Like you're more of a Home Depot but we'll go to a Lowe's.

[Kelsey Cook]

I went to Home Depot and. And struck out. So three different times I went there and they didn't have what I looked for and then Lowe's had it.

[Kevin Ryan]

So now you're a Lowe's man.

[Kelsey Cook]

So kind of I've moved over.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

What's the. What's the ceiling of your handiness? I would have to assume it's pretty high.

[Chad Daniels]

So high.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kelsey Cook]

I could do stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

Kind of tools you got and what kind of brand you got.

[Kelsey Cook]

Like I'm not brand loyal. Just whatever gets the job done.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ah, okay.

[H. Foley]

Milwaukee dewalt. Yeah, Makita.

[Kelsey Cook]

Although I have. What's the green one with the Ryobi? Yeah, some of those.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's Home Depot's house brand. We were trashing and people schooled me.

[H. Foley]

On it and refreshment. Who's cutting the grass? You or landscaper?

[Kelsey Cook]

Oh, me.

[H. Foley]

Sorry. Yeah.

[Kelsey Cook]

I thought you meant between us. That's why I broke down and started laughing. We push mower ride mower push push.

[Kevin Ryan]

What brand's that?

[Kelsey Cook]

That is a. Oh, that was left with the house. I don't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really? Really.

[Kelsey Cook]

I asked him to leave it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really?

[H. Foley]

Did you pay for it?

[Chad Daniels]

At gunpoint. He asked him to leave the.

[Kevin Ryan]

And a hedge trimmer to you. I know where you're moving in my wooden knuckles out.

[H. Foley]

Whose car is that?

[Kelsey Cook]

Now.

[Chad Daniels]

Huh.

[H. Foley]

My car.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Can you frame out a house?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a lot. Frame it out.

[Chad Daniels]

Oh my God.

[Kevin Ryan]

What a villa.

[Chad Daniels]

What does that even mean?

[Kelsey Cook]

I mean I could. I can't. I don't. Wouldn't trust myself to poor footings.

[H. Foley]

But I could frame, see, hang drywall, electrical work.

[Kevin Ryan]

What are you doing later? I got a leak in my house.

[Kelsey Cook]

I can. I can do some electrical work. The problem is, you know, it's like I wouldn't. It wouldn't be. It wouldn't pass a test.

[H. Foley]

Got certified to do it and in the summer out at the. Out at the lake house. What sort of things in that vein are you doing? Like, will you set yourself up with a project for this summer?

[Kelsey Cook]

Not this summer. Last summer I put in all new blinds, flooring and maybe that was it.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah. Any like cabinet kind of stuff in the kitchen, but.

[Kelsey Cook]

Oh yeah. But anyway.

[H. Foley]

But put cabinets in.

[Kelsey Cook]

No, no, no, no no. I just had a.

[Chad Daniels]

This designed a thing.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah. He's a real cat of the burbs.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ice steak.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. And then you're fishing in the summer.

[Kelsey Cook]

I do fish when my son comes over. I'm not a huge fisherman.

[H. Foley]

No hunting. Are you hunting at all?

[Kelsey Cook]

I don't. I've never hunted.

[H. Foley]

Huh.

[Kelsey Cook]

All my friends. All my friends would hunt okay. But never wanted to get up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Have either one of you had a tick on you in the last 365 days?

[Chad Daniels]

No. But you've dealt with. I mean him growing up in Minnesota. That's your tick.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

You ever have Lyme's disease?

[Kelsey Cook]

No. My son does though.

[Kevin Ryan]

He does?

[H. Foley]

Yeah. He have it forever.

[Kelsey Cook]

Fucked up his joints real bad, man.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah. Really tired all the time. Seems horrible.

[H. Foley]

Take care of the shit out of to me.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I don't like.

[Kevin Ryan]

Jesus.

[Chad Daniels]

They're so small. There's much smaller than I thought they would be too. I kept sneaky.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah. The deer ticks. You can't hardly.

[Kevin Ryan]

You can't sit like the house that's like the silent killer like Gerd. I didn't think that was going to go over that well.

[Chad Daniels]

Killing with Gerd today.

[Kevin Ryan]

Big Gerd crowd. I'm not even sure I know what it is. Have either of you been to a TJ Maxx or a Marshalls in the last 365 days?

[Kelsey Cook]

No, I've been doing Marshalls.

[Chad Daniels]

You have?

[Kevin Ryan]

For what? Reasoning.

[Kelsey Cook]

My.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a place you go with a. I am looking for this kind of thing.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Don't just go.

[Kelsey Cook]

My mom and sister needed something. I can't remember. Gotcha so we ran over there.

[Chad Daniels]

Oh, so this wasn't a solo trip. You, like went, I think.

[Kevin Ryan]

Fair enough.

[H. Foley]

You. Would you close shop there? Would you get, you know, grab a T shirt, something like that.

[Kelsey Cook]

Get whatever. No fear.

[Kevin Ryan]

A lot of absolute vodka.

[H. Foley]

Interesting.

[Kevin Ryan]

What kind of golf clubs you got?

[Kelsey Cook]

I have Titleist irons.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's all right.

[Kelsey Cook]

And I use tailor made. Well, they call them metals now, but woods.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Kelsey Cook]

And then some folky wedges and a spider putter.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you. What do you shoot? What's your handicap?

[Kelsey Cook]

It's all right.

[Chad Daniels]

He's so good.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know. I can tell you're good.

[Chad Daniels]

Anytime you ask him something, he goes, it's okay. Just know that means it's like, what are you shooting?

[Kevin Ryan]

He's shooting like high 70s.

[Kelsey Cook]

Six handicap.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's pretty.

[H. Foley]

What's that mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

I kick your ass. I don't play physically.

[H. Foley]

Oh, yeah, of course. What's the course? By the lake? It's mini.

[Kelsey Cook]

It's called Balmoral.

[H. Foley]

Private? Public?

[Kelsey Cook]

Public, yeah.

[H. Foley]

All public courses, but nice.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah, nice enough. 18 and then there's a par three right next to it. Different ownership.

[H. Foley]

Do they have a clubhouse where you can go and have lunch?

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah. Yep.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Anybody going in? They got hot dogs on the rollers.

[Kelsey Cook]

Got both of you guys a gift card.

[Kevin Ryan]

I can't wait. It doesn't cover a full round.

[H. Foley]

Do they have a locker room, like a country club?

[Kelsey Cook]

No locker room? No.

[H. Foley]

What's the. The club, the snack or the restaurant? Like, nice.

[Kelsey Cook]

You're looking at pre made sandwiches, pizzas.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kelsey Cook]

And then I. And then I play one in my hometown of Fergus Falls, which is a half hour from the cabin. And that, that's a restaurant.

[H. Foley]

Restaurant.

[Kelsey Cook]

And that has a locker room from.

[H. Foley]

Like curb your enthusiasm. Them.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

That's the kind of clubhouse I'm looking for.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's where I want to be a member.

[H. Foley]

It's nice.

[Kelsey Cook]

Pebble Lake Golf Club. That's what you're looking for when you head my way. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's very funny. Most people are like a little. A little vague with like exact locations. He's like, if you want to come see me.

[Chad Daniels]

I know. I'm like, can you be careful?

[Kelsey Cook]

Our address is 34.

[Kevin Ryan]

He welcomes intruders.

[Chad Daniels]

You know what I mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

Tribe. I've had a slow week. Come see me.

[H. Foley]

I mean, I gotta say this, you know, separately. Pretty trashy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Let's come together.

[Kevin Ryan]

2 negatives Integers make a positive number.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Or something like that.

[Chad Daniels]

Would there be a nurdle?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Chad, Would there be a reciprocating side on Kelsey's side to the roast beef ketchup situation.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. What is it? You're like, I can't believe she does this.

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Chad Daniels]

And I used to do that. You made fun of me for on the podcast with mayo.

[H. Foley]

I'm listening.

[Kelsey Cook]

She used to have. They got that mayo sandwiches with white bread. Just white bread and bread mayo.

[Chad Daniels]

When I was really young, that's what.

[Kelsey Cook]

She used to eat.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's not great.

[Kelsey Cook]

But she doesn't do that anymore right now. I mean, so now it's just like, because your diet.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember because you. That you have, like, the allergy or something.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah, it's gotten so much better.

[Kevin Ryan]

I saw that.

[Chad Daniels]

Oh, this has been the greatest food year for me. I retested my peanut allergy. I'm not allergic to peanuts anymore. I can have dairy again. I can have bread again. But for like, 10, 15 years, it was like, no pizza, no burgers, nothing with peanuts. And now I'm just eating everything, and it's the greatest.

[H. Foley]

Speaking of pizza, where's that pizza coming from? Is it a local spot? Are you doing like a Domino's or whatever?

[Chad Daniels]

No, it's a local spot, but it's like.

[Kelsey Cook]

No, it's a chain. I like it. So I like jets.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah, I like jets.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. That's a big Midwest.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

I didn't know that that was bigger than Minnesota.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Kelsey Cook]

That's a change.

[Kevin Ryan]

And the Midwest people like.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Love it.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah. They do a Detroit style, which is the rectangle deep dish.

[H. Foley]

Love it.

[Kelsey Cook]

And I got to get my hands.

[Kevin Ryan]

On some of that jets.

[Chad Daniels]

It's really good, huh? Really, really good.

[Kelsey Cook]

I've actually. I ordered jets for the first time in Michigan, and I was like, okay, got this on a Thursday, I'm going to put this out in the hallway because I don't want to eat the rest of it. And then Friday night, I came back drunk, and I brought it back into the room and I ate some, and I even dipped it in the ranch that had been sitting. Then I go, what the fuck am I doing? I put the crust that I didn't eat outside. And then Saturday night, came back drunk and ate the crust.

[H. Foley]

Wait, so hold on. You got a box of pizza, you have it in the hotel, you put it outside.

[Kelsey Cook]

No one has grabbed it, if that's your question. It's a super nice hotel.

[H. Foley]

Was it a nice hotel?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, not at the hotel. Pizza lived in a hallway all week.

[H. Foley]

But you don't know if somebody's coming and open it and licking Their fingers.

[Kelsey Cook]

And touching it, I have no clue.

[H. Foley]

But then you worry about the pillow on the floor. You're eating hallway pizza.

[Chad Daniels]

See, not that I'm against complicated.

[Kelsey Cook]

I draw a crooked line. There's no doubt about it.

[H. Foley]

Very well said.

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh? Huh?

[Chad Daniels]

The Chad Daniels rule book is impossible to keep. I mean, I've. I've tried.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's. You don't know. There's a lot of weird rules. Like. Nope.

[Chad Daniels]

Yep.

[H. Foley]

So the pizza on Sundays is usually a rectangle pie. Wow. That's very old school. Interesting. That's very, very interesting.

[Kevin Ryan]

And let's say you guys are going on vacation. What's a vacation? No work. Like obviously you guys are here. You're doing spots. Can't say.

[H. Foley]

The lake house.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. What's like if you're going somewhere, what would that look like? Or what are you guys kicking around to do?

[Chad Daniels]

We at the end of this past year, went to Europe for two weeks. We didn't work, we didn't book shows. We went to Dublin, London and Paris. And it was.

[Kevin Ryan]

Guys are classy.

[Chad Daniels]

Incredible.

[H. Foley]

Very nice. First time in Paris?

[Chad Daniels]

Not my first time, but it was my first time in Dublin. And it was your first time everywhere.

[Kelsey Cook]

My first time everywhere. Yeah, that's true. But we did wear cutoff sweats that had American flags on the asses.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'll let the boys know.

[Kelsey Cook]

Hey, you guys mind if I get a freedom dip?

[H. Foley]

You have a steak frites in Paris?

[Chad Daniels]

No, we ended up actually eating a lot of Italian food.

[H. Foley]

It's funny how good it is over there.

[Chad Daniels]

It's so funny. And like Parisian food in Ireland too. It's. They're all.

[Kevin Ryan]

So we have great Parisian food in Dublin.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Remember that?

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah. The patience.

[H. Foley]

We just do everything. Everything's just done well.

[Chad Daniels]

It's done so well. Yeah.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

We. What do you say?

[Kevin Ryan]

We were up. I said we. It was great.

[H. Foley]

I mean we kept.

[Kevin Ryan]

Every time we were. We were. Kept going. This is the best fucking meal ever. And then it wasn't for like three weeks after we got back. I'm like, we were just wasted every meal.

[Chad Daniels]

Like you went to Little Caesars.

[Kevin Ryan]

Actually it was every night at like 8 o'clock after we had started drinking Jimmy Jones. I mean, listen. Vacations to the 360 to Porsche.

[H. Foley]

You own the lake house, right?

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

They got. They bought a house together. It's pretty well decorated. They're. They're the best for each other, which is odd.

[H. Foley]

Real tree this year. Christmas tree.

[Kelsey Cook]

Can't.

[Chad Daniels]

No, but that's just cuz I'm.

[Kelsey Cook]

We can't she's allergic to them. We can't celebrate baby Christ's birthday how you're supposed to because she's allergic to fucking pine needles.

[H. Foley]

Do we have. Do we have a social network outside of common?

[Kevin Ryan]

You hang with the neighbors or stuff like that now?

[Chad Daniels]

With the neighbors. But we do both have, like, a really good group of friends in our lives that are not in entertainment at all.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you guys have it together? Like, do you guys.

[H. Foley]

Well, you guys go to, like a dinner party?

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah, we've got. We have, like joint friends in.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm sure Chad mixes real well.

[H. Foley]

I think.

[Kelsey Cook]

I think you're doing that wrong.

[Chad Daniels]

It's real pretty nerve wracking introducing him to my girlfriend.

[Kevin Ryan]

Pretty. God, nerve wracking.

[Kelsey Cook]

That's how you're gonna carve that turkey, huh?

[H. Foley]

Wow. I'll do the grilling. All right, man, take it easy.

[Kelsey Cook]

Maybe everybody can just dip the turkey in the. The basting pan for the juices since they're all gone now.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's great. I mean, listen. Yeah, this is. This has been the first time this has happened where they've both. The two negatives create a positive.

[H. Foley]

Two wrongs make a right, huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

This show is constantly. I'm constantly learning. This is wild.

[H. Foley]

I love it.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's no real dirt under the fingernails with them together.

[H. Foley]

Kelsey Cook and Chad Daniels.

[Kevin Ryan]

I love you.

[H. Foley]

Pretend Problems is the podcast. As we said before. Kelsey has a new special out on Hulu and YouTube, Mark youk Territory and Empty Nesters on Netflix.

[Chad Daniels]

Thanks, guys.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, fantastic. Thanks for coming by.

[Chad Daniels]

Look at you. This is the.

[H. Foley]

This is Turn Around.

[Kelsey Cook]

I have a lot of things I didn't say on the show that I'd love to tell you about when we're done. She made me promise.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, Fair and I. She's got him hostage. She might be the fucking. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Toenails we left out of the lca. By the way, did you didn't post a recipe about brownies or blondies recently, did you?

[Chad Daniels]

Oh, yes. That was you with the Cadbury Cadbury Eggs. Oh, my God, you guys. Unbelievable. It was so good.

[Kevin Ryan]

We got a change.

[H. Foley]

Your algorithm, it was very homey, very cozy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why you guys start posting something about them smoothies or something, get them on board.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah, I'll send you the rest. It was just a reel I found and decided to make them and Jesus, they were unreal.

[H. Foley]

My only gripe. Only gripe?

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

Not that big into the Cadbury Mini Eggs. I'm more of a Hershey's Mini Eggs man. Which have you Ever had those?

[Chad Daniels]

Oh, I don't know if I have.

[H. Foley]

Those are fantastic.

[Chad Daniels]

Better than Cadbury?

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Kelsey Cook]

You like the big cream filled Cadbury eggs?

[H. Foley]

Love them.

[Kelsey Cook]

Okay. My daughter and I used to scoop out the yolks and we used to make omelets and then we would just eat the chocolate shells afterwards. Yeah, we what? We like sugar.

[Chad Daniels]

You're fucking crazy. Tell them what you used to do with Oreos.

[Kelsey Cook]

Have you maybe you ever kill a.

[Kevin Ryan]

Man with a cookie?

[Kelsey Cook]

Maybe I used to pour a whole container of Oreos into a mixing bowl and then pour.

[Kevin Ryan]

I thought he said maybe you guys have done this milk on it as your fat retard.

[Kelsey Cook]

No, no, no, that's not what I meant. That's not what I meant.

[Chad Daniels]

I'm saying, like, maybe there's no light in your eyes.

[Kelsey Cook]

Pour milk and then you eat it like cereal.

[H. Foley]

100%.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've never done that.

[H. Foley]

Jim McDonald taught me that in ninth grade. We were over at her house and I saw her do it and I was like, holy shit. And I went home, crushed them up in a coffee cup. Pour milk in there and eat it like cereal.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

The icing gets really hard and the cookie gets really soft.

[Kelsey Cook]

Oh, God. I'm tingling.

[Chad Daniels]

Good.

[H. Foley]

What else you guys got coming up right out?

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah, I'm going to be in Tacoma at the end of the month and then Portland, Atlanta, San Antonio, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, and then I'm about to announce fall date, so they'[e-mail] Love it.

[H. Foley]

Love it. Mr. Daniels.

[Kelsey Cook]

Winnipeg, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Irvine, California, Pittsburgh.

[H. Foley]

Two of the absolute best. Two of the absolute funniest.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Again, listen to their podcast, Pretend Problems. Check out the specials, guys. We love you. Kippy, what do you got for them?

[Kevin Ryan]

This is coming out this week. There might be a few tickets left for Cleveland. Then we are off the road for a little bit announcing fall dates, I think in like a week or two. So get ready for those.

[H. Foley]

Grab a set of cards, Check out the Route 66 Special. Guys, again, we love you. And gang, we love you.

[Kevin Ryan]

See you next week.