Don't Get a Bad Tattoo! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Summary

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Are You Garbage? – "Don't Get a Bad Tattoo!"

Hosts: H. Foley & Kevin Ryan
Date: August 3, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively "family episode" of Are You Garbage?, hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley (with Sage Foley filling in) tackle a flurry of hilarious and relatable listener questions from their Patreon supporters. The conversation takes a deep dive into suburban and city living, midlife crises, getting (or not getting) tattoos, trashy family habits, and the subtle ways "garbage" tendencies creep into everyday adult life. As always, the show is filled with roast-style banter, personal revelations, and a stream of nostalgia for the blue-collar, questionable decision-making of their upbringing.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Embracing the Suburbs vs. City Life

• H. Foley discusses his sense of “returning to his roots” in the suburbs at age 40 after spending equal parts of his life in both urban and suburban environments. He predicts doing another 20 years in the suburbs before moving back to the city at 60.
  • "I think it's time for me to return a little bit to my suburban roots. Do another 20 in and then when I'm 60, I'll move back to the city." (04:18)
• Sage pokes fun at Foley’s suburban dad transition, referencing things like mall-walking, pizza ovens, pool maintenance, and neighborly gatherings.

2. Midlife Crisis and Trying to Stay Cool

• Sage (jokingly) admits considering getting into vaping and joining a band, while Foley roasts him for “trying to hang on to being cool.”
• Discussion about transitioning to “washed dad” status, from fashion choices (dirty New Balances, khaki shorts) to hobbies (pizza making, mowing lawns).
  • “I’m going full suburban dirtbag. I got the lopsided pool…” (19:17)
  • “I'm out there still on the edge, baby.” (23:44)

3. Tattoo Talk: To Ink or Not to Ink?

• Sage debates getting his first tattoo at age 50 to honor his late father, describing a complex design full of symbolism (hawks, dragonflies, initials, etc.).
  • "I'm not trying to be cool. Trying to honor my father and put, you know, put the pieces behind me." (09:58)
• The gang roasts the idea of older guys getting their first tattoo, suggesting a henna or silly design instead, while Kevin and Foley weigh in on the emotional weight of memorial tattoos.
  • “A tattoo at your age is a great idea. Seriously, honestly, I think.” – Foley (09:51, sarcastically)
• Sage’s detailed tattoo ideas quickly become over-the-top:
  • “It’s going to be tmf. Tmf. Then there's going to be a hawk... then a dragonfly... and then everything.” (16:55)
• Kevin, on keeping it simple: “You can't go that complicated for a first tattoo.” (17:28)

4. Dad Accessories & Stereotypes

• Foley and the crew riff on classic dad accessories: phone holsters, brimmed hats for sun protection, khaki shorts, and whether Foley is destined for full “dad mode.”
  • “I have khaki shorts with pockets. Why wouldn’t shorts have pockets?” (22:46)
• The group debates the shame/pride of showing up at suburban BBQs with practical clothing and gear.

5. Relatable Trashy Habits

• Listener Questions:
  a. Is it garbage to see a police helicopter and assume they’re looking for someone?
  • “That's the kind of guy who tucks his pant legs into his socks so he doesn't get ticks.” – H. Foley (31:05)
    b. Bartering with the cable company: Stories about canceling or leveraging cable and phone services for better deals.
  • Sage’s mom: “She will fucking. She's, like, in heat. She will drop it in 30 seconds flat.” (33:10)

6. Nostalgia & Family Dynamics

• Bouncing between stories of '90s-2000s cable packages, using the “triple play”, memories of house phones, and the archetypal “cordless phone guy”:
  • “Hang with a guy who's on a cordless phone is never a good sign someone’s jammed the fuck up.” – H. Foley (37:47)
• Sage recounts eating all of his high school girlfriend’s mom’s lime ice cream and being yelled at, illustrating classic teen dirtbaggery.

7. Food Court & Fast Food Trashiness

• The great Dairy Queen debate: Is it garbage to actually eat a burger at DQ, or is it just for ice cream?
  • “The Blizzard hit the scene with a fucking force of a million Hiroshima bombs.” – Sage Foley (62:30)
• Foley, on “corporate” fast food ice cream: “We didn’t fuck with the ice cream at chains like that.” (62:38)
• The boys reminisce about local ice cream parlors and getting yelled at as kids for spills.

8. Pop Culture & TV Rituals

• The hosts trade memories of watching “This Old House” and “Emeril Live” late at night with their dads.
  • “I would eat one piece of like whole bread and watch This Old House at like 10pm with my dad if I couldn’t sleep.” – Kevin Ryan (51:00)
• Reflections on '90s advertising icons like the “WhatsApp” Bud Light guys and whether Tony Romo’s era overlaps.
• Insight into the universal experience of sneaking downstairs, only to catch your dad watching something he probably shouldn’t:
  • “If I came downstairs when I was supposed to be in bed, I wasn’t getting a piece of toast, I'll tell you that.” – Sage Foley (56:02)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On new tattoo plans:
  “It’s gonna be TMF… and then there’s going to be a hawk, and a dragonfly… and then everything…”
  — Sage Foley, (16:55)

• On midlife identity swaps:
  “We are both starting to stink in different ways.”
  — Sage Foley, (19:08)

• On suburban transformation:
  “I'm going full suburban dirt bag. I got the lopsided pool. I got the fucking…”
  — H. Foley, (19:17)

• On Dairy Queen’s changing identity:
  “The Blizzard hit the scene with a fucking force of a million Hiroshima bombs.”
  — Sage Foley, (62:30)

• On trashy negotiation:
  “My dad once told DirecTV that if they want his TV box back, they’ll have to come pick it up out of the front yard.”
  — Listener submission (32:52)

• On high school trashiness:
  “But my high school girlfriend’s mom used to get lime ice cream from there all the time...She’d freak out on me. She was cool, but, you know, rightly so.”
  — Sage Foley, (66:30)

• On blue-collar TV routines:
  “I would eat one piece of like whole bread and watch This Old House at like 10pm with my dad if I couldn’t sleep.”
  — Kevin Ryan, (51:00)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening banter: 00:00 – 03:00
• Suburban v. city life crisis: 04:10 – 07:00
• Tattoo debate & memorial ink: 09:45 – 17:30
• Dad fashion & accessories: 22:30 – 23:30
• Listener Questions – Helicopter paranoia & cable wars: 30:55 – 33:55
• Family nostalgia & cordless phone guys: 36:54 – 38:02
• DQ burgers vs. ice cream debate: 58:42 – 65:19
• Ice cream and summer rituals: 62:38 – 64:41
• Trashy high school eating stories: 66:07 – 67:54

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Tone & Vibe

True to form, the episode blends affectionate roasting with slices of raw vulnerability and working-class wit. Foibles are celebrated, mistakes are commiserated, and the subtle markers of “garbage” culture—be it a lopsided pool, a weird tattoo plan, or eating all the special lime ice cream—are framed as badges of shared, lovable dysfunction.

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Final Thoughts

This “family episode” is a prime exemplar of Are You Garbage? at full strength: heartwarming, filthy, and riotously self-aware. Whether you’ve never had a DQ burger or you’re contemplating your first dad tattoo, this episode reminds listeners that everyone’s a little “garbage” in their own way—and that’s exactly how the boys like it.

Transcript

[Sage Foley]

Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is are you garbage?

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Sage Foley]

It's our little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that if they're grouped to be classy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sage Foley]

Or if they're just a big old piece of trash.

[H. Foley]

Trash, trash, trash.

[Sage Foley]

I'm your host, Sage Foley. Coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tooties in a new edition. She's upstairs making a little bathtub gin.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Sage Foley]

Yeah. Gonna be some rough eyesight around here in the next couple of weeks. Mike Hollis is coming at you from across the table, as we call it. Family episodes. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. Just the way we like it. Doing listener questions from the Patreon. My co host, my Pedro's back in the whole wide world. He is the king of the burbs. He is the lyrical gangster.

[H. Foley]

No one likes that.

[Sage Foley]

You don't like that one? I'm working on it.

[H. Foley]

It doesn't make sense.

[Kevin Ryan]

I kind of like it.

[Sage Foley]

Oh, my God.

[H. Foley]

I'm screwed.

[Sage Foley]

It's in. Kevin James, Home Depot. Ryan, everybody.

[H. Foley]

What up, gang? Shout out to you as always, please. Please make sure you rate you subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. And the boys are climbing a freaking truck. Can you stop making noises?

[Kevin Ryan]

What the.

[H. Foley]

Wow. Jesus Christ.

[Sage Foley]

When a check over there, by the way, we're holding up that goddamn operation.

[H. Foley]

Why are we cutting his mic, by the way? He's only got to intro somebody. Then keep talking.

[Sage Foley]

That'd be fucked up if we gave Luke the power. He's got a cough button over there for us.

[H. Foley]

What do you mean? He does have that. You do.

[Sage Foley]

You can cut me? Yes.

[H. Foley]

No shit. What do you think all the wires do?

[Sage Foley]

You don't got the fucking ball, guys.

[H. Foley]

Patreon, listen. Shut up. Shut up.

[Sage Foley]

Cut my mic. What were you saying?

[H. Foley]

Nothing.

[Sage Foley]

What?

[H. Foley]

Patriot. The thing that pays your bills. Patriot. We got to make more money that you can blow. Patreon.com Are you garbage? Check it out.

[Sage Foley]

Got that big special coming out next month.

[H. Foley]

Big special, man. You're really taking fucking you really? Yes, big.

[Sage Foley]

Somebody's got to take a lead in this operation. You're tanking us.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that's right.

[Sage Foley]

We're doing very well and I appreciate you and I love you. Wait, I'm the one showed up big for me yesterday?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Use a tax money to loan you. That's what we're doing. You can't not stink. Not you want to. You do this thing where you allude to stuff. Just get it out.

[Sage Foley]

I got nice. I got a nice cologne on. Gucci unisex.

[H. Foley]

You don't have Gucci money. Stop.

[Sage Foley]

It was a gift.

[H. Foley]

From who?

[Sage Foley]

Me. Half a bottle.

[H. Foley]

A half a bottle gift?

[Sage Foley]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I got a leftover with a good crew.

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh?

[H. Foley]

Half a bottle gift of cologne. What the fuck?

[Sage Foley]

Uber driver got to get a cup of coffee.

[H. Foley]

There's a Toyota out. There's a Camry out front too. Double parked.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[Sage Foley]

Well, I've just been doing the numbers, adding up some things that's always good with. No, not that. You know, the mall walking the pizza oven. The suburban lifestyle that you are settling into.

[H. Foley]

Uh huh.

[Sage Foley]

Very, very wholeheartedly. You're in.

[H. Foley]

I like it. Listen, you are a dad. I'm a dad. I've been doing some math, man. 40. Yeah, I'm 40 years old in a My Venmo transaction. Couple of weeks or two. It's the second time you brought up your Venmo transaction today. I don't want to know what's in. You're the kind of guy

[Sage Foley]

I hope

[H. Foley]

no one asked me about this over here. No one had. No one cares. Dude.

[Sage Foley]

A lot of bike. What you got the pool.

[H. Foley]

So want to tell people things and you bring it up a bunch Shoehorned in a conversation no one's asked about

[Sage Foley]

ever tires premieres August 13th. Yeah, tell everybody that. Check it out on Netflix. The Big dog and all the boys.

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Sage Foley]

Fun. Fun season. I can't wait for it.

[H. Foley]

Whole squad winning.

[Sage Foley]

Whole fucking squad. Let's go. Stavi's got that fucking movie.

[H. Foley]

Stavi's got the movie Bourdain movie.

[Sage Foley]

Bourdain movie. Killing it.

[H. Foley]

Everyone's doing great.

[Sage Foley]

Fucking love it, man. Love to see it. You won the other.

[H. Foley]

But listen this. I think I'm gonna. I'm on a precipice in my life. I've lived, you know, give or take. I'm 40 and give or take half and half of that time has been spent in the city and. Or in the burbs. So I'm. I've 20 years in, 20 years out. And I think it's time for me to return a little bit to my suburban roots. Do another 20 in and then when I'm 60, I'll move back to the city.

[Sage Foley]

You'll be that Guy. Wow. You're man. What you'll be. You'll be walking around the Upper east side.

[H. Foley]

Upper east side? What am I, a schmendrick?

[Kevin Ryan]

Please.

[H. Foley]

I'm going to be in the Village.

[Sage Foley]

Is that where you're going to go?

[H. Foley]

All the gay guys are.

[Sage Foley]

Yeah. Huh. I was down there in that village last night. Popped into the comedy cellar. Hung out, you know. Well, hey. Hey, Dawn. Good to see you. Then I had a meeting, but it was about 10 o'. Clock. West Village. A lot of attractive people down there.

[H. Foley]

This is your first day in New York. What the fuck?

[Sage Foley]

Of course, first time looking around in a while.

[H. Foley]

Historically, all the hot. It's all rich. Insane.

[Sage Foley]

It's all rich people getting ice cream. Coming back from work. You know, I love seeing a young professional.

[H. Foley]

And there's Henry standing with a cup of chain shaking it.

[Sage Foley]

I was eating a cold Sicilian slice, which is my thing now. Dude, I'm also silly.

[H. Foley]

You've been saying that and I get it cold. You've been saying not the cold part.

[Sage Foley]

That's new. That's new material.

[H. Foley]

No, it's not.

[Sage Foley]

Yes, it is.

[H. Foley]

Well, you're re eating it.

[Sage Foley]

It's gonna be in the special.

[Kevin Ryan]

Put it in.

[H. Foley]

It just cuts to you sitting here. Colts is the ignorant.

[Kevin Ryan]

My thing.

[H. Foley]

So especially is going to be on our YouTube channel.

[Sage Foley]

Is. Yes, it is.

[H. Foley]

Yes. All are you garbage in September. We're locking in the date. All are you garbage down there.

[Sage Foley]

Tampa side splitters. Let's go. Yeah. That's a fun weekend. Yeah, it was flopping on the one before it.

[H. Foley]

Yikes. I can't get a read on this there. You're a different guy when the lights came on than you were. I don't know. For the 90 minutes leading up to this. I feel like I've never talked to you before.

[Sage Foley]

Did you notice that eye contact that I was giving you when we were talking in the pre production meeting and there wasn't a grin, there was a smile. I was doing this. You see my legs crossed.

[H. Foley]

I did notice you really. You're really moving now that you're down weight, which we're all very proud of.

[Sage Foley]

You're really moving my legs a little bit.

[H. Foley]

It does. It looks very unnatural and pretty painful if I'm being honest with you. And you should stop doing it because nobody was able to pay attention.

[Sage Foley]

Took four cortisone shots to get me off.

[H. Foley]

Dude, I make that guy who sat on his nuts. That is the most human reaction to anything I've ever seen.

[Sage Foley]

Hey, the winkies, the little Guy's really growing since the weight's coming off. He's all right down there. He's a fighter, too, that kid. I'm saying,

[H. Foley]

what do you got? You got something to start?

[Sage Foley]

You said, is there a phone case on your belt in your near future?

[H. Foley]

Funny you bring that up. I saw a guy on a dad. Older guy.

[Sage Foley]

You are a proper dad.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I have to be. I have a child.

[Sage Foley]

You're wearing New Balances.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, but so are you, and you're my father.

[Sage Foley]

I wear them cool. I wear them cool. By the way, I heard dirty sneakers are back in.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, dude. What? Okay, so. Yes, I did.

[Kevin Ryan]

We told you that three years ago.

[H. Foley]

And dog shit isn't dirty. Okay. You got to watch the bottom of them things.

[Sage Foley]

I think I heard Mary Beth Barone talking about that as she's in. Stylish kid. Woman. Lady comedian. Very stylish. Very funny as well.

[H. Foley]

I.

[Sage Foley]

What phone case?

[H. Foley]

I was.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was.

[H. Foley]

I was on a. I was on a walk and I saw two older dad. They were retired future me. And they were riding their bikes.

[Sage Foley]

Oh, you're not gonna get one of those bikes where you sit down, are you?

[H. Foley]

What bikes don't you sit down on?

[Sage Foley]

Please, Kippy. It's chicks in. Listening to this.

[H. Foley]

I'm married.

[Sage Foley]

Oh, and I'm not.

[H. Foley]

But they were going, these two dads. They were on, like. That was like a Saturday morning. They were on, like, their Saturday linked up. They're on a bike ride. They were cruising. And I hate those guys. Why? I'm sure they love you.

[Sage Foley]

Those guys that meet in, like, a fucking, like, International House of Pancakes parking lot. They take their bikes out, then they put those fucking dumbass outfits on.

[H. Foley]

No, no.

[Sage Foley]

And act like dicks when they're fucking driving down the road. Get the fuck out of the way. You're not Lance Armstrong. There are always older dudes that are, like, a little bit built that looks like they'd kick your ass.

[H. Foley]

They probably can, but they probably will.

[Sage Foley]

They're wearing those spandex things and those weird bowling shoes that have plastic on the bottom for their bikes. And they're such dicks. They are all bald. They're all balding. Don't let me see you in that shit. I'll walk.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Sage Foley]

Trying to be cool, man. Hip pop culture. We got to be in there. Can't be doing that shit. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Because that's what's got us here. Being cool in pop culture.

[Sage Foley]

You need some ripped jeans.

[H. Foley]

You're going through a midlife crisis. And it shows.

[Sage Foley]

Shout out to Mr. Rooster, by the way, that tattoo is coming very soon.

[H. Foley]

Sweet. Dude, that is. I'm proud of you.

[Sage Foley]

Thank you. How is it putting the pieces behind me?

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[Sage Foley]

I don't know.

[H. Foley]

I love how deep you think you are. It's so funny. Corny. So corny.

[Sage Foley]

I stink.

[Kevin Ryan]

Could you get like a henna for a month just so you see if you like it?

[Sage Foley]

No, no, no henna. I don't like that.

[H. Foley]

Guys like me in their 50s who get their first tattoo don't do that. All right. I think a tattoo at your age is a great idea. I think it's really cool. Seriously. Honestly, I think.

[Sage Foley]

Sounds sarcastic.

[H. Foley]

It's what cool guys do.

[Sage Foley]

I'm not trying to be cool.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Sage Foley]

Trying to honor my father and put, you know, put the pieces behind me.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Sage Foley]

Schneider's pretzel pieces, which, by the way, I'm off them. I'm all about those pretzel chips, those pretzel crisps. And I'm all about the. The Rods Putties patties. What are they called? Roddies.

[H. Foley]

I don't know.

[Sage Foley]

Pretzel twist. I got a buffalo. It's fantastic.

[H. Foley]

A lot of stuff going on over there at H. Foley Industries.

[Sage Foley]

You know, we're really.

[H. Foley]

Tattoo and pretzel crisps. Yes. You guys have been in the lab. You're really coming together on, well, something,

[Sage Foley]

you know, there's a lot going on in the world. These things fall by the wayside. It's got to be somebody that, you know, pushes them to the forefront, which I heard Burger King starting to make some serious moves. So I think they've seen my emails.

[H. Foley]

Very nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

How'd you get a Burger King tattoo? Tattoo? People say you're not supposed to get dead people for your first tattoo.

[Sage Foley]

Why?

[Kevin Ryan]

Because it's like, it's very, like, emotional and like you might.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I. Listen, I mean, listen, you've done a lot of stuff that you and everybody around you. Regrets. Everybody's okay with that. This is.

[Sage Foley]

I'm not getting Robert Duvall tattoo. It's my father.

[H. Foley]

He died.

[Sage Foley]

He did.

[H. Foley]

You getting a face of them? Something cooler. You're getting a 72 year old man on your arm.

[Sage Foley]

I might get a sag daddy. The God tattoo on my right shoulder.

[H. Foley]

Nice.

[Sage Foley]

Just for sag daddy. I love that kid.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, sure. No, we all do.

[Sage Foley]

He's the voice of a new generation. Kevin.

[H. Foley]

Very much so.

[Sage Foley]

Shout out to the sag daddy.

[H. Foley]

Big fan. But to go back to the case, the. They weren't those guys. They were just regular guys on a bike riding. They Were. One guy was in, like, cargo shorts, but he had more of like. It was like a tool. Like a Leatherman case kind of, you know, but no top on it. It was more like the thing you would put like a holster.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Like a tape measure in kind. Something like that. And he had his phone in there? I assume so when he's driving with his bike, he doesn't have to fumble around with a latch or something.

[Sage Foley]

Somebody from the office is calling.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. And I was just like. I saw it. I went, that's ultimate, dad.

[Sage Foley]

He's.

[H. Foley]

He's got it on the quick draw. There's no. Fuck. He can just get there.

[Sage Foley]

What are you doing? He'll take the goddamn house.

[H. Foley]

Take the house also. That's going to be me mountain bike. Me and my boy cruising.

[Sage Foley]

Are you going to get the bike with him on the back? The little.

[H. Foley]

I'm going to have to, obviously. Yeah. That's got to happen very soon. Like. And that's not even. That's just.

[Sage Foley]

Dad, do you ride a bike?

[H. Foley]

No. Why would I ride a bike? I have a car. I mean, what am I, an asshole? This guy doesn't have a tattoo asking me if I have a bike? The fuck? No. But I'm gonna get a bike so I can ride with my son.

[Sage Foley]

Okay?

[H. Foley]

It's not like I'm riding a bike all every. Like, all over town, and I'm like, hey, buddy, hop on. That would be an event. That would be a. That would be a task we do together.

[Sage Foley]

Wow. Well, I wanted to ask you. It's a bad sign about the thing. How far away we from. Do the yellow shirt first. Yes. Are we away from that hat at the beach? How far away would you say?

[H. Foley]

Hmm.

[Sage Foley]

You've already worn.

[H. Foley]

No, listen, I'm not a. I'm a. I'm an older Irish man. You know, I have fair skin. I have spots. I don't have one yet. But I will say I have turned the corner on understanding the practicality and purpose of them. I will say that there's people in my family that wear them now.

[Sage Foley]

That's the beach. How far away were you from. On the weekends you're showing up at your. At the neighbor's house. The other couple that you hang out

[H. Foley]

with that you are very jealous of.

[Sage Foley]

I'm in the city doing cool shit, all right?

[H. Foley]

Just wipe boogers on your hand and you're 50, getting a tattoo and you're trying to be in a band. You do the math. Thinking about getting into vape.

[Sage Foley]

Shout out to Mr. Rooster. I don't. I don't want to smoke anymore.

[H. Foley]

So quit smoking. I need something, but I need something to stay cool with. My crew vaping.

[Kevin Ryan]

So much worse than smoking.

[Sage Foley]

I'll get out of here.

[H. Foley]

You just turned into Patty right there. Not even. Shut up.

[Sage Foley]

My mom will be blatantly smoking in the house. What are you talking about?

[H. Foley]

Yeah, there's a thing with that generation that they just. They'll just lie and go. I mean, you do it, but they'll go. And you just go, that's. Up is down. They'll go, no, down is up. And you go, all right, I guess we'll just move on from here.

[Sage Foley]

Which I respect, I don't think. I think it's rude and intrusive to break the lie that someone's living. You know what I mean?

[H. Foley]

As a liar, I get.

[Sage Foley]

Does that make sense? Like, like, like where's the decorum? But people doing the privacy of their own homes, none of them business.

[H. Foley]

I mean, I'm not walking. What do you mean?

[Sage Foley]

I don't know.

[H. Foley]

Okay, first of all, I've never been in your home. I've called you out on a lot of lies that affect a lot of people. I've never been in your home.

[Sage Foley]

I don't have a home. Also, I'm at cousin Ian's. Also just been my first night there last night.

[H. Foley]

I've heard of. Well, we'll save that for the Patreon, I believe.

[Sage Foley]

Good friend.

[H. Foley]

Which is also why I would say, I don't know, maybe of investing in a tattoo is, you know, maybe get an apartment.

[Sage Foley]

Like 100 bucks. No, not good ones.

[H. Foley]

There's no way he was getting a good one. What are you talking about?

[Sage Foley]

I'm going to go to a good guy.

[H. Foley]

I'm going to go to prison and get one there.

[Sage Foley]

Get inked out. Cinemax night.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, and you're going to get it right here. That's where you want it. Cool. Because you're a tough guy.

[Sage Foley]

I'm not a tough guy.

[H. Foley]

That's a tough guy. That's a guy who wants to be a tough guy. Just saying.

[Sage Foley]

Go.

[H. Foley]

Do. Do it. Get it on your calf. Go full and get the Philly fanatic with your dad's head on it. On your calf. You gotta do that. Please, please, please, please.

[Sage Foley]

Now, on the weekends when you're hanging out with this other couple or whoever,

[H. Foley]

you're talking about our tattoos.

[Sage Foley]

Whoever you're hanging out with down there.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Sage Foley]

Okay. Talking about stock prices and baby formula and the new stroller and.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. You just almost Fall sitting down. You just slip.

[Sage Foley]

Put this legal pad.

[H. Foley]

That's crazy.

[Sage Foley]

What do you guys talk about down there?

[H. Foley]

Who?

[Sage Foley]

I don't know. You and your suburban other couple friends.

[H. Foley]

It's my wife's friend. I mean, it's not like we're like, not in a group chat. It's my talk about football, the game,

[Sage Foley]

all that kind of stuff. Yeah. Just not talking about culture, art, music, stuff like that.

[H. Foley]

Cool stuff we do.

[Sage Foley]

You don't live in Brooklyn now you

[H. Foley]

do live in Brooklyn.

[Sage Foley]

Cool. Be hanging out at McCarran Park.

[H. Foley]

How do you hang. How do you live in Brooklyn and not have a tattoo? Actually, now that I think about it, bingo.

[Sage Foley]

Bingo.

[H. Foley]

You got.

[Sage Foley]

That's how you get.

[H. Foley]

I'm on your side.

[Sage Foley]

You get in the apartment, I show your ink.

[H. Foley]

I'm on your side.

[Sage Foley]

Thank you.

[H. Foley]

Are you going colored tattoo or black and white?

[Sage Foley]

I don't know. I don't know. To figure that out. I'll see what. Probably blue.

[H. Foley]

I don't want to know what it is because it's going to be way too serious. Blue.

[Sage Foley]

I'll tell you.

[H. Foley]

No, I don't want to know. Just leave it.

[Sage Foley]

It's going to be tmf. Tmf. And then there's going to be a hawk because the day my dad died, there was a hawk flying over our house. And I see a hawk all the time. Then there's going to be a dragonfly because. A little tiny dragonfly because I see dragonflies all the time. And that's a very good omen. And they've always been attracted to me. I always see dragonflies a lot. And then there's going to be everything.

[H. Foley]

You stink. You smell like.

[Sage Foley]

Those are horse flies. Those are greenheads.

[H. Foley]

Goddamn. Bay. We got a bay breeze bringing in the greenheads now. Hank's.

[Kevin Ryan]

I have friends with tattoos. You can't go that complicated for a first tattoo.

[Sage Foley]

And then. And then the other side.

[H. Foley]

Something cool.

[Sage Foley]

And then the other side's going to be on the. On the trash cans in Wilkes Barre is a beehive. Or was when I was a kid,

[H. Foley]

because I don't know, one time I saw one that had a beehive on it.

[Sage Foley]

Yeah, maybe about it. Okay, I'm going to get that. So those representations. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Oh, yeah. Okay, cool.

[Sage Foley]

And then SEAL Team six.

[H. Foley]

And then the towers. Never forget. Presented by Dunkin Donuts and Baskin Robin.

[Sage Foley]

How soon on the weekends are you going to be wearing this hat?

[H. Foley]

I would argue they're about the same hat.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wait, I gotta. This one has inserts for the sunglasses.

[H. Foley]

That's pretty cool. That's what cool guys do.

[Sage Foley]

Get the fuck out of here.

[H. Foley]

We are so washed. You're sitting here talking about getting a tattoo for your dad who died of like, natural. At a natural death age. You only get a tattoo for someone when they could have got shot, when they died tragically or they left too soon.

[Sage Foley]

Is that true?

[H. Foley]

I mean, the dirtbags that get tattoos of people who.

[Sage Foley]

I'm a fucking dirtbag.

[H. Foley]

I know, but they do it when they're boy ODs in high school or whatever. I. E. All of my friends who have tattoos.

[Sage Foley]

My one boy did die in high school.

[H. Foley]

Well, then get him.

[Sage Foley]

Oh, it was after high school, but I went to high school.

[H. Foley]

It was about five years ago.

[Sage Foley]

No, no, no, that's another guy. Okay, Timmy Shib. Shout out to the bulldog at this. Move fucking stick you. Good stuff.

[H. Foley]

I mean, I would argue for all intents and purposes, those are the same where I come from. Those are the same hat, that full brim. That's a full brimmed hat.

[Sage Foley]

I'll agree with you on this. We are both starting to stink in different ways. Can you agree with that thing?

[H. Foley]

Sure, yeah. I've listened. I'm. I'm going full suburban dirt bag. I got the lopsided pool. I got the fucking.

[Sage Foley]

I'm going city.

[H. Foley]

My neighbor's asking me, you know, what are you doing with the Lumina? That kind of thing. Like, you know, it's like I'm. I'm a bit of a sore thumb. Sure. The landscaper doesn't come around and cut the grass on time.

[Sage Foley]

What's up with that?

[H. Foley]

It's been raining a lot.

[Sage Foley]

Doing Fridays?

[H. Foley]

It depends. It changed, but yeah, it's normally right before the weekend.

[Sage Foley]

The good customers get done on Fridays. Cabbage. Talk about blue. Chew, chew. Listen. You get a little bit older, things start slowing down. You put on a couple of pounds, you still want to show up in the bedroom.

[H. Foley]

You know what I mean?

[Sage Foley]

So it's about showing up for people. Show up in the bedroom.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Sage Foley]

Do yourself a favor, get over to bluechew. Get yourself all straightened out, if you know what I mean.

[H. Foley]

Yes. Bluechew Gold is better. Is better sex in a tablet. They combine four ingredients in one powerful solution. Two ingredients get you hard physically how you done and support arousal and desire in the brain. It works fast and last guys have a complete experience in the. In the bedroom with Bluechew Gold. There's a reason bluechew is the number one brand for Better Sex. Experience it [e-mail] and right now we got a special deal for AYG listeners. Because the folks at Bluechew are so good to us. The army of garbage. When you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third free with promo code garbage. That's promo code garbage. You'll receive an additional 10% off plus free overnight shipping. Because listen, when the mood strikes, you gotta be ready to fucking go. Hey, you mean a nice Tinder that you're meeting tomorrow? Let's get it going, dog. Visit bluetooth.com for more details, important safety information. We thank Bluechew for sponsoring the pod and the bedroom. Thank you.

[Sage Foley]

Yeah, Kibbutz.

[H. Foley]

Talking about Bolt Bolt New gang.

[Sage Foley]

Let's go, baby Gang. If you're behind on the AI game.

[H. Foley]

Hey, hand up.

[Sage Foley]

Oh, I don't know what's going on, bozo.

[H. Foley]

When it comes to it.

[Sage Foley]

Still writing with the. With a rock. I don't know what's going on.

[H. Foley]

That's your first problem. No one's ever written with a rock.

[Sage Foley]

Listen, if you're trying to build a website, you're trying to start an app, use AI. And a great way to do it is with Bolt. So get yourself straightened out. Use Bolt. Help build your systems.

[H. Foley]

Yes. Bolt New. It transforms ideas into working apps. You can create stunning apps and websites by chatting with AI and getting it done. Cutting out the middleman, making it easier for yourself. You own a small business. You got an idea, you want to kick the. Kick the tires on something and figure something out better. It's the tool for the thing you keep wishing existed. If you're wishing your company had a better client tracker, a booking tool, an internal dashboard you'd otherwise have to hire someone to build, or a pitch check pitch deck that doesn't look like a template. You describe what you want in a prompt box and Bolt New builds the working app. Not a mock up. No code required. It's something you can genuinely try and ship this weekend. Not just demo. Go to Bolt New and use the code build for a free 30 day pro account. That's Bolt New Code Build B U I L D. And you've got a full month of Probe to build whatever you've been putting off doing. Yeah, I would say I, you know, I'm not going to wear those hats.

[Sage Foley]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Do you believe me?

[Sage Foley]

No.

[H. Foley]

That's what I respect.

[Sage Foley]

I don't believe you at all. I think there's going to be very soon there will be khaki shorts in your future.

[H. Foley]

I have khaki. Yeah. I have Khaki shorts with pockets. Why wouldn't shorts have pockets? What kind of. What kind of pair of shorts doesn't have pockets?

[Sage Foley]

I need to put my keys, my change, and my dry cleaning receipts in there, so you.

[H. Foley]

What are khaki shorts, dad? Shorts.

[Sage Foley]

I don't wear shorts. I wear jeans and bathing suits.

[H. Foley]

Those are short. But you wear bathing suits as shorts. You do?

[Sage Foley]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Sage Foley]

I just got a new bathing suit, too.

[Kevin Ryan]

And a new pair of shorts.

[H. Foley]

Pair of shorts, apparently. Dual action.

[Sage Foley]

And a new pair of pajamas because I slept in it last night at Ian's because I didn't want to sleep

[H. Foley]

naked in the room.

[Sage Foley]

You're sleeping in board shorts, not board shorts. This is a straight up bathing suit.

[H. Foley]

It's the same.

[Sage Foley]

It's still a little wet, too, because I wore it and left.

[H. Foley]

You went swimming?

[Sage Foley]

Yeah, I was swimming yesterday. No, Sunday

[H. Foley]

and Wednesday night. They were still wet.

[Sage Foley]

You.

[H. Foley]

You sleep in your jeans before? You're judging what hat you may or may. I may or may not.

[Sage Foley]

I'm out there still on the edge, baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's lake water, too.

[Sage Foley]

Yes.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. You weren't. Oh, my God.

[Sage Foley]

Lake Erie. Exactly.

[H. Foley]

That's not even that. Salt's not even cleansing that. I don't like lake water.

[Sage Foley]

It's weird. Leaves a weird film on you. You feel like a fish. You smell fish.

[H. Foley]

Tadpoles in your fucking pee hole. That's wild.

[Sage Foley]

They're having a good time down there.

[H. Foley]

Listen, talk to me. Yeah, we both stink, obviously, in our different. In our different. Our different ways. And, you know, we are. We're both washed. You're hanging on to being cool, though.

[Sage Foley]

All right. I don't. I don't think we are wise. I think our best days are ahead of us. I think we're. I think we're getting to our best selves. I know I am. My best self.

[H. Foley]

I think. Your better self than you've been for a year.

[Sage Foley]

Thank you.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Sage Foley]

When was my best self?

[H. Foley]

I don't know. What were you doing when you were 7? That was probably the last time you were really cooking.

[Sage Foley]

No, I was looking at my mom's roll on deodorant and eating dirt and getting yelled at a lot. Getting smacked around.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Sage Foley]

Deserved it. Had bad hair. I cut my own hair. I played soccer. I got a perm. What was it?

[H. Foley]

My best. Give yourself a perm. How the fuck did you give yourself a perm?

[Sage Foley]

I went to fucking hairstyling school. My mom gave me a perm.

[H. Foley]

Don't you need chemicals for that?

[Sage Foley]

Yeah, it's chemicals. Yeah, it burned. Yeah. Okay. But I want to have a perm because my cousins hadn't curly hair.

[H. Foley]

It's cool.

[Sage Foley]

Yeah, maybe I'll get another perm.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I mean, you know what?

[Sage Foley]

Permanent tattoo.

[H. Foley]

Why not recognize 1983. You'll be fucking cooking.

[Sage Foley]

You should have been go.

[Kevin Ryan]

This wasn't big for you guys, but. Did you guys ever shower with a hat on to get lettuce?

[Sage Foley]

What?

[Kevin Ryan]

That was like a thing in like when I was in middle school, you'd shower with a flat brim hat and you can help give you the fur. Yeah. Because you'd get that like kind of that. That. Yeah.

[Sage Foley]

You know, you just could have put the hat on after you got out of the shower when your hair was wet.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was a thing of like doing it all together. It was a lax bro myth.

[H. Foley]

I kind of. I kind of understand. That's fine. I think that's okay. We used to shower with a hat on that would like form to your head the best. They would say,

[Sage Foley]

put your cleats in

[H. Foley]

the dishwasher when you're trying to get like back when I get bending. It is kind of back before flat rims. You would wear it and it would that. And I remember them saying, like, if you got a good pair of jeans. I tried wearing a pair of jeans in the shower. Like, they would form to you better.

[Sage Foley]

Yes. Boots too.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's like something Michael Scott would do.

[H. Foley]

I got ladies jeans on. Yeah, you're not right. I did it once in college. I think I didn't feel right. And they were a bitch to get off.

[Sage Foley]

I bought ladies jeans once at the thrift store after I had lost a bunch of weight and I was in jeans for the.

[H. Foley]

Sounds like it's this weekend. If I'm being honest with you. I bought a. Bought a two piece and a pair of ladies ladies jeans.

[Sage Foley]

I didn't realize it until like half the night out. It was like. They were like.

[H. Foley]

It wasn't late pinching your butt.

[Sage Foley]

Liz Claire. That was. That was the brand.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Sage Foley]

Liz Claire jeans. Yeah. A lot of guys are hitting on me now.

[H. Foley]

All these guys want to buy me a drink.

[Sage Foley]

You think I'll do a sex on the beach.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. All right, listen, all that. I mean, listen. Yeah. I don't know. I'm definitely not. I'm still a dirt bag at heart. That's loser shit to me. That's like not loser shit, but that's like nerd stuff.

[Sage Foley]

I mean, I disagree. I mean, those guys probably do very well. They're probably a nice Portfolio.

[H. Foley]

That does. That's nerd stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

Stuff.

[H. Foley]

I don't have a nice portfolio. I just said most of my money's under my mattress with my blood and my semen. Yeah. I mean, that's not. That's not the kind of dad I've ever seen. That's. That's not what father figures in my life.

[Sage Foley]

Do you have a sun shirt?

[H. Foley]

No.

[Sage Foley]

Is there one in the works?

[H. Foley]

No.

[Sage Foley]

When's Father's Day? Soon.

[H. Foley]

No, it's in June past.

[Sage Foley]

Yeah. You get anything good? I never asked you. No ties or nothing? Kid didn't get you nothing?

[H. Foley]

Ties. She got me. The kid didn't get me nothing. I got. I'm sure I got something. I don't remember. Maybe I was away. I think we were away.

[Sage Foley]

Were we?

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Summer's flying by, screaming at each other. In Los Angeles, I believe.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes.

[Sage Foley]

The big LA trip.

[H. Foley]

But that's not a long time ago. That's not. There's no. I wouldn't even. You also. I'd have to wear that stuff around my. Like if I tried to roll into fucking North Wildwood beach with that. It makes it crucified. So it's like still like.

[Sage Foley]

At least I know there's people keeping you in check down there. I worry about you.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. I think you.

[Sage Foley]

Frozen yogurt. The malls, the fucking, you know, home projects. The oven. Pizza oven. Making pizzas.

[H. Foley]

You bought me the pizza oven.

[Sage Foley]

Yeah, and you threw it away.

[H. Foley]

I didn't. I still have it. I got a new one because you

[Sage Foley]

got a new one. Cuz your new buddy told you.

[H. Foley]

No, you bought me one. That stinks. That's not my problem. You gave me a bad gift.

[Sage Foley]

It's $35.

[H. Foley]

Which I will need back. Yeah.

[Sage Foley]

I mean, like, I apologize for that. Garage fire.

[H. Foley]

I wear Dale Earnhardt intimidator hat when I'm doing. It's like.

[Sage Foley]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

I'm far from checking in on. Far from that. I have to. If I were fucking hat like that.

[Sage Foley]

You want to come to Brooklyn and hang out? Just let me know.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that's what I want to do. Hang out in a windowless basement. I got a pool dog. It's a pool. It's a pool.

[Sage Foley]

What water in it?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Starting to get a little green again from being honest. We've lost the pool.

[Sage Foley]

Pouring regular bleach in there.

[H. Foley]

I'm sure that would work.

[Sage Foley]

I'm sure it would kill.

[H. Foley]

I kill anything. Yeah.

[Sage Foley]

Including your skin cells.

[H. Foley]

Diluted a little bit again. It's a little. It's a little cloudy. We Had a bad storm.

[Sage Foley]

See, Ben? Still, you got branches in the yard. You're worried about that? Have you had a guy come over and trim any branches yet?

[H. Foley]

Of course. Okay, but what is that. What is that trashy behavior?

[Sage Foley]

It's not. I'm just jealous because I don't have a home. This guy thinks he's real cool with his branches. Got Ashplenda over there hanging out.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, no, I got. I got you. I gotcha.

[Sage Foley]

It's good stuff.

[H. Foley]

All right, let's see. All this aside, we got a gosh darn family episode on our hands. As you know, when you join the old Patreon, we will answer your garbage question. This one's from Eric. $10, homie. Never have one red. Is it garbage if you see a helicopter flying low and say, oh, that's not good. They're probably looking for someone. That's hilarious. I've never thought that. That's so good. That's really good. That's a dude.

[Sage Foley]

That is something you say in that hat.

[H. Foley]

No. Yeah, it is. I know. That's the kind of guy who tucks his pant legs into his fucking socks so he doesn't get ticks. That ain't me.

[Sage Foley]

Let me ask you this. Somebody drives by the house roll. Yeah. Guys flying?

[H. Foley]

No, no, I. You got me pegged as the wrong guy.

[Sage Foley]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

I mean, what in. You know, I'm a dirt. I'm still the same dirt bag, you know, my man. I'm not getting tattoos and joining a band, but, you know, It's like. What? It's what a bad character in a movie does.

[Sage Foley]

What?

[H. Foley]

What exactly what you're doing. I'm reinventing myself. That dude. And then. But not aware of it, huh?

[Sage Foley]

Oh, I'm aware.

[H. Foley]

I don't know.

[Sage Foley]

I'm aware.

[H. Foley]

I don't think so.

[Sage Foley]

I stink.

[Kevin Ryan]

Which?

[Sage Foley]

Camera's mine. Stink.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's your vape flavor gonna be?

[Sage Foley]

Blueberry mint.

[H. Foley]

They have anything, right? I'm sure.

[Sage Foley]

Not here, though. Can't get him in New York, right? Oh, you can't.

[Kevin Ryan]

Gotta know a guy.

[H. Foley]

You live in Brooklyn. You're thinking about getting a tattoo. You don't think you can get fucking flavored vapes? You're a wannabe, dude.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You're a fucking wannabe.

[Sage Foley]

Just hacky sack people keep talking about.

[H. Foley]

You're doing the. Yo, yo. You're doing. You're doing. That was cool in the 70s.

[Sage Foley]

Who's this band? Geese. I gotta start listening to you guys

[H. Foley]

want to play jacks? All right, let's see here. This one's from Foley. Socks, $10. Homie never had one red. You've ever gotten a bartering war between two cable companies? My dad once told DirecTV that if they want his TV box back, they'll have to come pick it up out of the front yard. They gave him Sunday Ticket 30% off and lowered his price instantly.

[Sage Foley]

These are good.

[H. Foley]

That's good.

[Sage Foley]

That's great.

[H. Foley]

We never really got into that. I. Patty, I know.

[Sage Foley]

I'm sure my mother has changed phone companies, data plans, Internet company. She will fucking. She's like in heat. She will drop it in 30 seconds flat. She does not give a shit.

[H. Foley]

I feel like that's crazy. I feel like that's all that was stuff of like the early 2000, where you go, I'm doing this. I. I remember my brother would get HBO when we found out. That's how I found out what prorated meant. If you got HBO and can't watched had it for a week, they would. A pro rate. They would charge you per day instead of the month. If it was like 30 bucks a month and you had it for a week, they would charge you $9. So he would get HBO and watch like all of Band of Brothers, then cancel it and then only have to pay $7.

[Sage Foley]

I don't know. You could do that. You could cancel in a month.

[H. Foley]

That's. At some point they were doing that where they would prorate.

[Sage Foley]

They smartened up.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I guess. I don't know.

[Sage Foley]

I used to know that my. Our phone companies got trashier and trashier as the house phone was dying, because there'd be a new phone, they'd give you a phone, and There were those VTech phones. Yeah. Oh, brutal.

[H. Foley]

That's fucking. I forgot about that.

[Sage Foley]

Yeah. You know, it was legendary, though. The, the, the. The original Find my Phone, the button that you push on the.

[H. Foley]

On the receiver, like, where the hell is. On the dock?

[Sage Foley]

Yeah, push that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right?

[H. Foley]

That was revolutionary.

[Sage Foley]

It was. It was.

[H. Foley]

I remember in college, Comcast at that part, at that time had come out with the triple play. Remember that? Mm. $99. You got your phone, you got your cable, and what else was it?

[Sage Foley]

It was like unlimited data and something phone.

[H. Foley]

So it was phone, TV and Internet. It was the Comcast Triple Play. $99. And then we came down. So we got our house in college, and we got. They. You would call and they'd go, hey, listen. I go, I don't want the phone, but I need cable and TV or TV and Internet. And they go, well, it's just cheaper it's gonna be $129 for those two because there's no package. So you might as well get to triple play to even have to plug the phone in. So we said, all right. But I go, you know what? It is still like, you know, have a house phone.

[Sage Foley]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You know what I mean? We had a house phone, dude. And my one boy, Shout Out Eddie, lived with him for six months until he switched and moved his boy in because he couldn't take the lease. Shout Out John, who didn't go to school, he just lived at our house in North Philly. But Eddie's phone was constantly off or

[Sage Foley]

not active or his cellular phone. His cellular phone at the time of minutes and nights and weekends.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, minute, probably. Yeah. Not probably not at that point. Like the iPhone might be out, like iPhone One. So it's like. But charger battery life. Yeah, it was. It wasn't what it is now.

[Sage Foley]

Was he holding court on the house phone?

[H. Foley]

Dude, he'd have. He'd have it in his pocket. We'd be out back smoking. And he was living a life where people were calling him a lot.

[Sage Foley]

Gotcha.

[H. Foley]

Got like neighborhood guys. Guys he worked with. He worked down at Ruby. No, Ruth Chris. Ah. He was a waiter of Ruth Chris. So you can imagine what his social life was like.

[Sage Foley]

There is.

[H. Foley]

He was probably crossing bands with you in some back alley at some point.

[Sage Foley]

There is no bigger dirt ball than the corporate desperate steakhouse waiter shout out to you. That guy can get you anything, anytime, any day, any minute. That guy's connected.

[H. Foley]

He would be at this point. He's out of school. Yeah, he's just working. He's taking a semester off or they asked him to leave or something. So he's Ruth Chris dude.

[Sage Foley]

He's pushing Lobster Mac.

[H. Foley]

He's got that phone pretty much on his belt.

[Sage Foley]

He's got it on his waiting tables.

[H. Foley]

He would run to the corner store. That receiver was getting action.

[Sage Foley]

He was used to always test how far you. How far you get away from the house of that thing.

[H. Foley]

Well, because you couldn't text. I. Now I'm thinking about it. He lost all text messaging capability. So he's got a call. He was on the phone like a stockbroker in the 80s, dude. He like, he worked.

[Sage Foley]

As soon as 9 o' clock comes, boom.

[H. Foley]

Like he worked for Stratford Oathman or whatever. He was Stratton Oakmont. Stratton Oakmont. He was closing every. And I just remember he would be smoking in Newport on the phone and sweatpants talking to people, you know, him, he's the good looking kid sober now.

[Sage Foley]

Oh, no.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sage Foley]

I love that kid.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sage Foley]

Kid's a looker.

[H. Foley]

Like a kid doing well. But yeah, that was his. The cordless dude. Hang with a guy who's on a cordless phone is never a good sign someone's jammed the fuck up. You're running with the wrong crew if your boy's got a cordless phone on him.

[Sage Foley]

Great, man.

[H. Foley]

That's fucking great, Kevin.

[Sage Foley]

Talk about rocket money, baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

Over here.

[Sage Foley]

We love that Rocket money. You know what I like?

[H. Foley]

What's that?

[Sage Foley]

When I have a subscription to something, you know what I mean, and I forget about it or I stop going or whatever, and then they keep billing me for it. I like that. I like, you know, throwing the money.

[H. Foley]

Oh, you like that?

[Sage Foley]

I like that.

[H. Foley]

Well, because you're an idiot. Get Rocket Money. They solve that for you.

[Sage Foley]

They solve that for you. That's right. They go in, they find a subscription, they cancel it. You has everything in there. Plus you can save money, organize yourself. We're talking about less stress. It's amazing.

[H. Foley]

Yes. Use it when you listen. I use all the. All the platforms, features, I get emails. Hey, you got seven recurring charges hitting this month. These things are coming up. There's been a large uncategorized withdrawal from this or expenditure on this. It's fan. It really lets me lock into my finances and I'm a bozo when it comes to it, but I can track my spending with Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. [e-mail] garbage that's rocketmoney.com garbage one more time. Rocketmoney.com garbage do it. This episode is brought to you by Facebook. So you were scrolling on marketplace and there it was. The bike you did searching for for you sent a message and it turned out the seller was super chatty, kind of funny, and an avid cyclist. The next thing you know, you're in a cycling crew. Well, a community cycling group. The thing about Facebook, you might find

[Sage Foley]

more than what you're looking for from a browse to a bike ride this summer. Find more on Facebook.

[H. Foley]

All right, let's see here. This one's a great name. Patio Furniture.

[Sage Foley]

Hello.

[H. Foley]

Do you or anyone you know have a picture with the naked cowboy in Times Square? That's a great one. We. Yeah, we hung. I mean, yeah, I did say that Guy's dead.

[Sage Foley]

Is it a different one I see

[H. Foley]

if you can get. Yeah, that guy. That wasn't the naked cowboy I grew up with. Not that I grew up with him. Stepdad was a good.

[Sage Foley]

Quite the cattle cave of roommates.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. No, that.

[Sage Foley]

The guy that.

[H. Foley]

He was a different guy.

[Sage Foley]

He was fucked up.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. So we did a show. This is. We did a show for an AM radio station.

[Sage Foley]

We did Nancy. What's it called?

[H. Foley]

Somebody sitting the kid. Look, see if you can find that out. New York AM radio. Sid and Sid and Boomer.

[Sage Foley]

Remember when they brought us up there? Like I would give these new guys a chance.

[H. Foley]

They were not. They didn't know who you talking. I'm not trashing these guys.

[Sage Foley]

They're a nice enough guy you and sell you. I can't. But maybe Kevin could.

[H. Foley]

No. Those guys are making radio cash at the height of. At the last making.

[Sage Foley]

What's his name? Who's the guy with the cowboy hat? I missed money. Don Amos.

[H. Foley]

He died too.

[Sage Foley]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Get a tattoo of him.

[Sage Foley]

I'm gonna. My next one.

[H. Foley]

My dad and dragonflies.

[Kevin Ryan]

Was it Sid Rosenberg?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Sage Foley]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Sage Foley]

They were actually cool as.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's called Sid and Friends now.

[Sage Foley]

Well, it was Sid and somebody else, wasn't it? Curtis. Willa. What?

[H. Foley]

Curtis was there.

[Sage Foley]

He was.

[H. Foley]

It was a. All right, so listen, we.

[Sage Foley]

It's like meeting Darth Vader.

[H. Foley]

Our old podcast. Yeah.

[Sage Foley]

Is that.

[Kevin Ryan]

We did.

[Sage Foley]

That wasn't. Are you garbage. That was hard feelings.

[H. Foley]

That was hard feelings. Holy. So our old podcast was on a radio network. On a podcast of a radio network. Right. OG Podcast.

[Sage Foley]

Which we were. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

We recorded in an AM radio station. That was fun, though. That was a time in our life, I do have to say.

[Sage Foley]

Okay. Yeah, it was. That was 100% that part of it.

[H. Foley]

That was exciting. Do. We were fucking recording above Madison Square Garden. One Pen Plaza, two Penn Plaza. Thought everybody was one in one of the. In the. You know.

[Sage Foley]

Yeah. One of the old school booths. We'd go outside. A real cough button.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think it was the Bernie and Sid show.

[H. Foley]

Bernie and Sid.

[Sage Foley]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

And there was some sort of live event honoring them.

[Sage Foley]

Right.

[H. Foley]

And there was some comics on the show. Brewer.

[Sage Foley]

We watched Jim Brewer murder.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. We were struck. We struggled.

[Sage Foley]

Oh, my God.

[H. Foley]

He went up. I remember. Yeah.

[Sage Foley]

Took the room apart. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

And it was one of those things where he's like. You just see it. Because they were like. They had not. They changed the order. It was like we all got there before. There was like, hey, get there at six. Everybody shows up at Six. And then it was like a five hour show. Like you're gonna. You know. And they told him, you're not going on. Then he was like, what the heck's happened?

[Sage Foley]

He was literally.

[H. Foley]

He.

[Sage Foley]

He looked like he was half asleep standing on the side. Second he got on stage, it was like, it. It was insane.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sage Foley]

Murdered.

[H. Foley]

But they brought us. They didn't know who we were. It wasn't them.

[Sage Foley]

No.

[H. Foley]

The guy who was producing our podcast pushed us to get on.

[Sage Foley]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

And we got on. We thought it was like, it's our shot. We thought this was.

[Sage Foley]

We get in with these guys.

[H. Foley]

We get with the AM radio guys.

[Sage Foley]

You're in the Guardian Angels.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Beating people up on this.

[Sage Foley]

Couple of them satin jackets for the boys, huh? Yeah.

[H. Foley]

But the Naked Cowboy was there and he showed up. Remember his manager showed up on meth? That guy showed up. Dude, he was. He's like, yeah, when? Gary's not here yet, but he's coming. They were calling the Naked Cowboy by his first name.

[Sage Foley]

He was hammer drunk. Not in a fun way.

[H. Foley]

Let me see.

[Sage Foley]

No, it's not. It's not the same guy. It was a different.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's got. I mean, it's. Robert Burke is the Naked Cowboy. He's got a.

[Sage Foley]

Probably happy trash in the poor guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's doing great. He's got an Instagram going.

[Sage Foley]

Yeah. This guy came in. Kick our ass. He's fucking Pretty good shape. Looks great.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's 55.

[Sage Foley]

Is he? Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

He looks incredible.

[Sage Foley]

I feel bad. Oh, I feel bad now.

[H. Foley]

That's all right. You don't feel bad?

[Sage Foley]

No, I do.

[H. Foley]

He's doing better than you.

[Sage Foley]

What do you mean? What, with chicks. It's a deal.

[H. Foley]

He's shredded.

[Sage Foley]

Shredded. Got a good career, huh?

[H. Foley]

Famous street performer, wears cowboy hat. Whatever. He had a. He might be sober now. I don't know. Whatever. Maybe he was. He was coming from a bachelor party. I don't fucking know.

[Sage Foley]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

I remember he had a flask in his boot, though, because he had no. He had no pockets because he's a naked cowboy.

[Sage Foley]

Switchblade in the other.

[H. Foley]

I saw him.

[Sage Foley]

Metro Cardanowskis.

[H. Foley]

I saw. That was like a showbiz moment for me. We were like, we're all in the wings waiting to go on. And they. He was going on next, and they were like, we got to get here. He's got to get back to Times Square. This is a charity gig to him, you know, I mean, he's making all. He makes all his money in the street, dog.

[Sage Foley]

So it's like A variety show. Yeah, it was on the Muppet Show. We're over in the wings and they.

[H. Foley]

So we got not. But he was going ahead. They were moving him ahead. They were ahead in the lineup. And he pulled the flask out of his boot, took a nip right in for like, you know, took a fucking whack of it and goes, here goes nothing. Screw. Put it back and went out like fucking. Fucking plate. Brought the house down.

[Sage Foley]

That's definitely Rumpelman's Rumpelmans.

[H. Foley]

When you're the naked cowboy.

[Sage Foley]

I don't think it was a Bordeaux or Cabernet.

[H. Foley]

Maybe a little bit of Nisi wine in there. Yeah, I remember. That was. That was. But shout out to him. He's a. He was a fix. He used to be. I used to watch TRL and he was in it like he was in the background in Times Square. He would be down there.

[Sage Foley]

That's probably placement. That's management placement. Make sure you get in there now. Wide shot. Yeah, I should start doing that on Good Morning America. Showing up outside there.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. It's sad, though. They need anybody they can get. Remember how they used to pan around?

[Sage Foley]

Yeah. Like they go outside with a sign. Kippy stinks. You should not. You personally.

[H. Foley]

Another guy all give me. You get up at 8 o' clock in the morning. All right, I saw.

[Sage Foley]

I was going to try to defend

[H. Foley]

it, but they used to go. There used to be mob the people.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

30 Rock or. Yeah, that's Rockefeller Plaza, right? Yeah, yeah. Mobbed. And now you can see them. They go, oh, we're going to talk to the Dempseys who are in from Connecticut. And then they just get other fat. They get other groups punch in and make, you know, fill out the shot because it's thin.

[Kevin Ryan]

We did it once. Not like we came late. We were huge fans of the Today Show.

[Sage Foley]

Who does that as a fit? My mom. Yeah, my mom and all my aunts have died.

[H. Foley]

I get that.

[Sage Foley]

Like St. Patrick's Day.

[H. Foley]

But the family.

[Sage Foley]

I screamed at her. So embarrassing.

[H. Foley]

What did she win? Yeah, she's an old broad. I mean, a group of. A group of geese go, that's fine. He went as a family.

[Sage Foley]

You like.

[H. Foley]

That's what I'm. Who the fuck likes the Today show as a family? You should have been in school.

[Kevin Ryan]

We watched it before school every day. The Today Show.

[Sage Foley]

Time to go to school. That shows on like 9 o'. Clock. No, these rich kids have it better.

[H. Foley]

Showed up at lunch.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's like 7am it's cooking.

[Sage Foley]

You guys would get up and watch

[Kevin Ryan]

the dad would have it playing. Well, me and my brother were eating breakfast.

[Sage Foley]

Brian Gumbel.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, that was more Matt Lauer days.

[Sage Foley]

Matt Lauer, Katie Couric.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sage Foley]

Huh. Wow. Roker.

[Kevin Ryan]

Where in the world is Matt La or no where in the world is Al Roker? Is it Matt Lauer?

[Sage Foley]

Why? Where was he?

[Kevin Ryan]

That would be. It was a segment they would do once a year for a week and he would just be in different places in the world and they would do the. The broadcast from there.

[Sage Foley]

That's all. AI. He probably did that in the fight in the fucking 30 rock in the studio. He wasn't fucking fat ass driving all over the place.

[H. Foley]

He's on fucking Studio 8H. Yeah, I.

[Kevin Ryan]

Where in the world, where in the world is Matt Lauer?

[H. Foley]

Oh, my God.

[Sage Foley]

Would you guys sing this song as it was going on?

[Kevin Ryan]

Definitely.

[Sage Foley]

That is wholesome, man. My dad was coming down 10 minutes late for work, crushing a cup of coffee, giving me a smack, yelling at me.

[H. Foley]

That's what you should get tattooed. I remember him how you. I'd want to be remembered. Tell me what an embarrassing you around, you little dick. Yeah, that's. I don't know. I never. I mean the stuff we liked as a family, it's just. It's. We're just unsuitable for broadcasting. Yeah. We're just different. My dad took me to one of the first wing bowls at the Electric Factory. That's what. You know when like there's like other. There's drunk guys going, you shouldn't be here looking at my. You brought your kid to the fucking. And then other guys going, I'll get that. That's a good family right there. You know, like you're getting judged from both angles. Yeah. Some guys like. I wish my kids called me back

[Sage Foley]

on a cigar, kid. I wish my kids called me back. Hey, at the house phone, get the

[H. Foley]

triple play shout out to the slow skis. Remember the slow skis?

[Sage Foley]

Who are you rolling with the slow skis?

[H. Foley]

You don't remember the Comcast slow skis?

[Sage Foley]

What kind of helmet did the kid wear? Jesus, kid. Slow skis.

[H. Foley]

You don't remember the Comcast Slowskis? My mom.

[Sage Foley]

Who are they? A family. They own it.

[H. Foley]

They were a family commercial of Turtles.

[Sage Foley]

Turtles.

[H. Foley]

They were the Slowskis. Oh, my mom. I'll still get like. I'm the. My mom said it. I saw my mom two days ago. She goes like, we're the goddamn slow skis. That's what she said. She makes it sound like a Polish family from the northeast off Cartman Ave

[Sage Foley]

the Slowski wearing our T shirts backwards.

[H. Foley]

You know the Gary's House smelling like onions. Who know Patty and Ollie Slowski?

[Sage Foley]

Nah, I don't remember them.

[H. Foley]

You don't remember them?

[Sage Foley]

I remember the WhatsApp. That's about when I checked that out.

[H. Foley]

That's what pop culture was at its finest.

[Sage Foley]

It really was.

[H. Foley]

I just pictured you going, I'm not topping out you. Turn the TV off, give me a

[Sage Foley]

Tony Romo Bad game and a couple of those.

[Kevin Ryan]

Go.

[Sage Foley]

Yeah, that's when I kind of checked out.

[H. Foley]

Wait, do you think Tony Romo and the what's up guys were on at the same time? No way.

[Sage Foley]

Yeah. And Britney Spears.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Sage Foley]

Yes.

[H. Foley]

Tony Romo and the what's up guys.

[Sage Foley]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

No, the what's up guys. I was.

[Sage Foley]

No, I'm talking about the guy from Bud Light.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Luke, get a. That was young.

[Kevin Ryan]

1999. I mean.

[H. Foley]

Oh, Romo might have been there.

[Sage Foley]

Started in 99. What are you nuts?

[H. Foley]

I. I didn't realize that was that. I thought I was younger for that. Oh, I'm thinking of the Bud. I'm thinking of the frogs. I was young.

[Sage Foley]

I didn't like them.

[H. Foley]

It scared me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Romo signed in 2003.

[H. Foley]

Oh, yeah, that's all right. You're. I mean, you're in the same room. I thought he. I thought he was 15 years old. I was thinking one with the frogs. The frogs were early. Earlier 90s. You don't even know I know the frogs.

[Sage Foley]

Guess what? You're watching fucking this Old house with your parents.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would eat one piece of like whole bread and watch this Old house at like 10pm with my dad if I couldn't sleep.

[Sage Foley]

One piece of whole bread?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, like whole wheat toast.

[Sage Foley]

Would you have butter and jelly on it?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, just be plain.

[Sage Foley]

Why would that put you to sleep?

[H. Foley]

Toast it.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[Sage Foley]

What?

[H. Foley]

What are you, a billy goat over there eating trash? Hey.

[Sage Foley]

Why? I don't know. It's just nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

My dad would always be watching this old house late at night or, you know, 10pm and we were supposed to be going to bed at like 6.

[H. Foley]

Man, we had different childhoods. I remember one time. I remember once we had HBO downstairs and I was slow. It was. It was. This is when channels. You had to like. There was no guide, you know what I mean? And they were chunk. And you'd wait. It had to like fully load before you could skip it. You know what I mean?

[Sage Foley]

Jammed up.

[H. Foley]

And I was young. I was young and it was me and him. Probably Friday, you know, it had to be a weekend night.

[Sage Foley]

The only time you saw him. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

That's what his custodial rights kicked in.

[Sage Foley]

Corn.

[Kevin Ryan]

Corn.

[Sage Foley]

Appointed supervisors. Sitting in the armchair. Oh, man. Clutching her purse. Why is the boy so heavyset?

[H. Foley]

That seems like a lot of bowls of cereal for one boy.

[Sage Foley]

Mr. Ryan, have you tried exercising the boy at all?

[H. Foley]

She's waving pillows of smoke out of her face. He's just cranking Eaters. Which. We were a smoking.

[Sage Foley]

That smells good.

[H. Foley]

We were a smoking house.

[Sage Foley]

That was cousin Ian smoking inside last night.

[H. Foley]

I mean, smoking inside versus. We didn't. They didn't smoke outside?

[Sage Foley]

No. What do you mean? Like go outside and what.

[H. Foley]

No, not one. It was. We would sit there.

[Sage Foley]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Watching tv. Just Peterbilt. But it was me and him and he was flipping through the channels. HBO was channel 13. And we get to 13. I never told you this. And it was a guy laying down. But it was like a. More of a risque. But it was more of a risque

[Sage Foley]

movie versus a porn like the Red Shoe Diaries.

[H. Foley]

I don't know.

[Sage Foley]

That did it for me. Duchovny was in that.

[H. Foley]

Probably something more like that. It was like more of like actors. It was more of like a sexy scene.

[Sage Foley]

Soft core.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. This was more softcore. No, Penny, I don't. I didn't see any penetration on hbo.

[Sage Foley]

The hell.

[H. Foley]

But he was laying there and she

[Sage Foley]

was sooking his duke.

[H. Foley]

No, she was jerking him off.

[Sage Foley]

Really.

[H. Foley]

But she was like down at. Towards the end of the bed, like. I don't. She was like kneeling. He was laying down. She was kneeling down by his johnson.

[Sage Foley]

You know, she was blowing him and jerking him off. You never had that.

[H. Foley]

I'm trying to explain my point of view as a seven year old guy. I don't need you to explain it to me now as. As a 40 year old man with a kid. I get that part of it. I'm trying to show you what I understood as a seven year old. I didn't understand why she was so far like that. He was laying. She was like kneeling or something. She was upright.

[Sage Foley]

Huh.

[H. Foley]

And just. And the shot was from like the foot of the bed. So it was like. I remember being like, what the heck? But it took so long for the channel to load and then he could hit the button real quick. And I like. It was one of those things. I'm like, do I look back or not? Look. Is he gonna say something? Nothing. We just kept right on.

[Sage Foley]

You look back, he's like. I couldn't tell you what my father watched at night because of that. Similar. Same reason. If I came downstairs, it was either Emeril Live with the bang. That was the pinnacle. That was it.

[H. Foley]

That was the pinnacle of comedy to my stepdad. Emerald Live.

[Sage Foley]

Bang. I think.

[H. Foley]

Bam. Bam.

[Sage Foley]

We should have nuked the place the second that. That's Sopranos. That's 2001. 2002. That. That was it. That's as good as it's going to get. I fucking. I. Dude, I watch his Instagram all the time. He's in there cooking. Yeah, he's some sharp guy. He's these guys. It's like what Bert does. He's got. He's got the team around him, you know? It's awesome. Still cooking?

[H. Foley]

Yeah, still cooking's great.

[Sage Foley]

Proud of him.

[H. Foley]

Well, it'd be weird if he stopped cooking. He's a. He didn't get into it for the business. He's a fucking chef.

[Sage Foley]

I always like the couple on Emerald Live. That was up front. That was at the bar.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Sage Foley]

I always thought they were swingers. I don't know why I knew they were doing weird shit. You know what I mean?

[H. Foley]

No, I never really watched it. I've just. More. No.

[Sage Foley]

Is that my point?

[Kevin Ryan]

You think everyone's a swinger.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Sage Foley]

My dad was either watching Emerald Live or when I came downstairs. If I. First of all, if I came downstairs when I was supposed to be in bed, I was. I wasn't getting a fucking piece of toast, I'll tell you that and. Sit down, bud. Get upstairs. Because he was watching something he shouldn't have been watching.

[H. Foley]

I don't think I had a bedtime, now that I see you say that.

[Sage Foley]

I didn't have a bedtime, but it was just. If he was trying to watch some skin flick and I popped down, you know, he'd be down there, Patty be up in bed. You do the math. Wasn't watching this old house, but we would watch that on Saturday and Sundays together.

[H. Foley]

Just watching this old asshole.

[Sage Foley]

Man, that girl's gone wild. Infomercial would come on. Holy it.

[H. Foley]

Couldn't tell me nothing.

[Sage Foley]

Should have went to a big school.

[H. Foley]

Just like worried about the titch you missed out on. 25 years. You would have failed out of there, too. Oh, man, these girls were pulling up their shirts. They should have went there. You're such a horn dog. It's crazy.

[Sage Foley]

I could have went on a jet Ski.

[H. Foley]

Kippy out there. Lake Havasu, Suking. Someone's jerking a guy off inside. You're such a weird guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

You would have flunked out so much faster. Where at? Like Penn State or something?

[Sage Foley]

I did it pretty quick. Yeah, I theoretically should have flunked out my freshman. My first semester, freshman year, but I changed my major.

[H. Foley]

He would have been walking around with a cordless phone. Some guys talking about how you get

[Sage Foley]

pretended to be on the phone.

[H. Foley]

I gotta get to the Capitol Grill to pick up a shift.

[Sage Foley]

Penn State's a big school where a lot of people that don't go to school there live there like you're.

[H. Foley]

Sounds like you're about to move to

[Kevin Ryan]

Penn State State College. Wonderful town.

[Sage Foley]

Nah, that. Yeah, it's all gray. And those football players walking around like they're hot.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that would have made you. That make you jealous?

[Sage Foley]

No.

[H. Foley]

Guys probably don't even have a tattoo. You're gonna be the guy who gets no chance of. You're gonna be the guy who gets a tattoo and then for way too long is gonna have like the bandage on it and be like, dude, watch out. I just. I just got fresh ink. Whoa. God. Oh. And then you're like, see? Someone like Wawa has a tattoo and you're like, how fresh is your ink? Stuff like you're gonna do that.

[Sage Foley]

Let me get a sip off your vape.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Sage Foley]

Yeah. That's what I'm gonna do, Joey.

[H. Foley]

But a Fuko hair you got going on.

[Sage Foley]

What'd he do? He strangled people.

[H. Foley]

I don't know. They cut his dick off or something? No, Joey. But a Fuko's wife killed the mistress or shot the mistress. The mistress.

[Sage Foley]

Not a mistress. Shot the wife.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Sage Foley]

She stayed with him and she lived. Yeah. Slinging packs.

[H. Foley]

Jesus Christ. Okay, Curious to get your take on. This is from Trev Dog. $10, homie, please. Is it garbage to order actual food? Anything but ice cream from a Dairy Queen. Now I have a few questions for you. Wow. We were not a Dairy Queen family. There was one and it was just the. Did they offer any seating? The only one that was ever relatively close to us was next to a mini golf course and we would get the ice cream.

[Sage Foley]

Complaining about.

[H. Foley]

But I'm saying it was never. I'd never been at one where food would be an option or a. Did they have seating?

[Sage Foley]

Great question. I do want to say this, compliment you and the homies on these questions have been fantastic. And it's funny, the first one about the helicopter, I had a good one and I forgot it. It was something along those lines. It was a saying that dads or something say. But I can't remember it. But it helped jog my memory. A little bit. Questions have been fantastic. Today, this is something I hold near and dear to my heart. Back in the day when Dairy Queen was, you know, evolving in, I believe, the 60s, 70s, they were more like a McDonald's or a burger King. They did have Dairy Queen burgers. They did have fries. They did all that kind of stuff. Chicken tenders. All that, man. Not chicken tenders. But then I think as the 80s and the 90s kind of set in, they really focus on the soft serve. The Blizzard became very, very popular, and it was mainly an ice cream spot. And then they kind of reinvented themselves, I believe, when private equity got more involved and they started trying to compete slightly with the Sonic model. Okay. You know, etc. Etc. They do offer burgers, fries. I know they offer them and chicken tenders. I don't know about at every location,

[H. Foley]

but, I mean, they had them at the one I would go to, and it was literally like a. Oh, they had them there. Yeah.

[Sage Foley]

But nobody got them.

[H. Foley]

We would only go in the song. It was like very. It was next to a mini golf course, so you'd be like, oh, we'll go play mini golf and then we'll get ice cream.

[Sage Foley]

Mm.

[H. Foley]

And there was no seats or anything, so it would just be like, we're not gonna get a fucking burger. It was just. Nobody ever ordered. I never saw anybody eating it.

[Sage Foley]

It's funny, my good. My good friend growing up, Laura, she worked at a Dairy Queen when this kind of started to happen, because I remember I went there to hang out with her, and she got me an order of chicken tenders and I ate an order. Chicken tenders. I haven't had chicken tenders and fucking Dairy Queen. I thought it was all blizzards. And where did you sit?

[H. Foley]

Was there seat. I'm saying, have you been to one where they're seating outside?

[Sage Foley]

There's a couple tables.

[Kevin Ryan]

There was one by us, like 30 minutes out drive from us. And that had seating like a.

[H. Foley]

More of. More of a friendly but small. Big.

[Sage Foley]

Like how many people.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, you could fit. I mean, it was like. Like a subway size. Like, it was so small, but it was like two subways, I would say.

[Sage Foley]

I always felt like that's a place you get shot at.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was not a big windows. It was like we. It was near a golf course and we get blizzards after.

[Sage Foley]

Like, that's a place where somebody comes in and kills everybody and robbers.

[Kevin Ryan]

In a strip mall.

[H. Foley]

Yes. I'm looking at pictures of them, and they're very. It's very you find all the bodies

[Sage Foley]

in the bathroom or something like that?

[H. Foley]

I don't know what you're talking. What are you talking about?

[Sage Foley]

I don't like those places with the full windows.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like the hard plastic seats.

[Sage Foley]

Yeah. I don't know why. Just didn't like it.

[H. Foley]

I see what you're saying. It is very.

[Sage Foley]

But that being said, I did have a double cheese bacon burger from a Dairy Queen, I want to say, within the last 15 years, and it was absolutely phenomenal.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm sure they're big on my YouTube shorts. Like, a lot of, like, the fast food influencers are like, they're going to Dairy Queen.

[Sage Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sage Foley]

I got to tell you, the blizzard hit the scene with a fucking force of a million Hiroshima bombs.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. The. We were always a bit weirder when it came to. We didn't fuck with the ice cream at chains like that.

[Sage Foley]

Like, where would you like. Hey, where would you go get ice cream? Like, some local place like Snickerdoodles or

[H. Foley]

something like that one. We would really only do ice cream in the winter or in the summer. Like, go get ice cream would be in the summer. We were down the shore mostly, most of the time.

[Sage Foley]

Yeah. Most people get ice cream in the summer.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Sage Foley]

Who's getting ice cream in the winter?

[H. Foley]

You've never had ice cream in the winter.

[Sage Foley]

Not. We. We wouldn't load the car up and go get an ice cream.

[H. Foley]

All right. I'm just.

[Sage Foley]

Maybe the spring.

[H. Foley]

I'm not saying you did. I'm just sharing. When we ate ice cream. It was the summer. I'm not saying you. You didn't.

[Sage Foley]

You're telling me how a watch works.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Sage Foley]

I don't know what that means, but it's from Sicario and I love.

[Kevin Ryan]

Worked. It did work in that condom. Did it?

[Sage Foley]

Is that what he meant?

[H. Foley]

We would just go to Rita's.

[Sage Foley]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Our ice cream would be down the shore, of course.

[Sage Foley]

On the boardwalk.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. And if, like Core Brothers. Yeah. But not real. We'd go. We'd do something smaller. Like, we'd like hassles. We go to hassles every year on, like, 20th street or whatever.

[Sage Foley]

Got bassets down there now?

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Sage Foley]

Shout out to Basset's ice cream.

[H. Foley]

But we would do that. And if we were doing that, we were going down the shore a bunch. It was like, yeah, you had ice cream on the weekends. You didn't have ice. We're not going out on a fucking Wednesday night to get ice cream.

[Sage Foley]

That's the one good thing in it.

[H. Foley]

But we would do Rita's. Mm. We'll run over to Rita's. That'll be the treat.

[Sage Foley]

Late spring, early summer, on a Sunday. I was one thing that was. That was something Patty and Terry were good at. They load us up in the car and, like, sun was going down. They take us to get an ice cream or something like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm.

[Sage Foley]

Yeah. One time it went horribly wrong.

[H. Foley]

Oh, really?

[Sage Foley]

Yeah, it was the blizzard. That's probably why I pushed back on it and have a little bit of an emotional attachment to it. My dad had just bought this Mustang, an old Mustang that he was gonna redo, which he was gonna redo it with the money that he wasted on my college tuition, which that didn't work out. He had to end up selling it. I remember the guy worked on the car in my driveway, which I think was a point of contention with my father because he didn't really fuck with me at that time. Rightly so.

[H. Foley]

Get all this tattooed on you.

[Sage Foley]

But I was. I was a chocolate ice cream. Eminem's blizzard man. And the big promo was, you could turn it upside down, it was so thick. So we drove at the King of Prussia. We got the ice cream. We're driving back. My brother's got his, My mom got his, and I turned mine upside down to show my brother, and it fucking went all over the back seat. And they freaked the fuck out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Sage Foley]

Yeah. Pulled in the 7 11. Had a. Like, dude, what the fuck? You can't fucking do anything. Fucking God damn. So. But plenty of times it was fun. But they do have. They do have burgers.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, Yeah, I picked up on that. No, I always knew that we were just like. When it came to that kind of stuff, we were never corporate. We didn't go, like, corporate like that. That was usually.

[Sage Foley]

We didn't either. But Dairy Queen was a movie.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Just so it's like, a lot of that stuff we didn't have. We were always Wawa over 7 11. Even though Wawa's corporate, it felt more.

[Sage Foley]

No, of course, at the time.

[H. Foley]

More local homey. A little bit. Yeah. It was just never like. Yeah, I don't know. So, like, that stuff would. I have not a lot of experience with the. With the big change. I mean, obviously, fast food, but outside

[Sage Foley]

of that, it was funny because this. When we went, it was at a time before Dairy Queen really went. I think it was before it was, like, bought up by, like, whoever owns Kentucky Fried Chicken and all that kind of stuff. Whatever. Yum.

[H. Foley]

Brands.

[Sage Foley]

So it still felt. And it was like the little hut Off Johnson highway. Near road. Huh?

[H. Foley]

Near Schlong Road. Johnson highway, near Pecker Lane.

[Sage Foley]

Huge Dick Boulevard. Two on the nose. But in Ambler, they had. They had a local ice cream spot called Coneheads, which was phenomenal. But we didn't go.

[H. Foley]

We didn't go over there.

[Sage Foley]

But my high school girlfriend's mom used to get lime ice cream from there all the time and bring it home in a tub like they like. It was that good, man. I got yelled at. So I ate so much of it, her mom would come down and be half gone. She'd freak out on me. She was cool, but, you know, rightly so.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Sage Foley]

And yes, I do see the pattern that's formed there. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Your behavior of. Understand being an idiot and people getting frustrated with that. Also just like, wild work to be over someone else's house and eat a bunch of their shit.

[Sage Foley]

I was in high school. What do you mean? I was the high school boyfriend as. I was supposed to do that stuff.

[H. Foley]

You think you're living in a sitcom. It's crazy.

[Sage Foley]

I did.

[H. Foley]

You still do.

[Sage Foley]

Yeah, I wanted to.

[H. Foley]

You still do. Wait, let's. You still do.

[Sage Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Like that. Like, because you. It's so funny. You have the manners and, you know, you're not supposed to, but you do it anyway.

[Sage Foley]

Which would come with a lot of guilt and anxiety and all that kind of stuff.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Instead of just going like, I'll do a scoop and walk away. You can. But you. I've seen you exercise that of like, knowing you shouldn't. I don't want to be the. You have shown that in other aspects. I don't want to be. We're not the kind of guys who do this. We're not the kind of. But then, like, when it comes to that, you're just like, I want to deal with whatever ramifications come of this, knowingly no one's going to come down and be like, you ate all my special ice cream. Thanks a lot, bro. So glad you date my girlfriend.

[Sage Foley]

I think I wanted them to be okay. Sex with my daughter in the basement while I'm upstairs.

[H. Foley]

Talk about a blizzard.

[Sage Foley]

Yeah. I wanted unconditional love. I think I wanted to be able to do everything. I wanted unconditional love. Does that make sense? Maybe in a misguided way, maybe. Yeah. I don't just fucking like lime ice cream. And you know what? Go fuck yourself.

[H. Foley]

Just, like, doing what I want. Don't care what other people think.

[Sage Foley]

Point taken. Lime ice cream is phenomenal.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I get that. Such. It's just like such. It's such repetitive behavior, it's insane.

[Sage Foley]

I was a goddamn kid did it

[H. Foley]

at 40 when you drank all those Diet Dr. Peppers. Oh, my God.

[Sage Foley]

You want a case of Dr. Pepper? Would I shut you up?

[H. Foley]

They weren't mine.

[Sage Foley]

I'll get Flip a case of how many fucking tickets I get him. Airbnb's on la. He's in there swimming around, eating burgers. Flip, call me.

[H. Foley]

I need you.

[Sage Foley]

Deal with me direct.

[H. Foley]

I'm just saying it's the same.

[Sage Foley]

Did I steal this haircut? Yeah, I stole Flip's haircut.

[H. Foley]

Wait, you think that's Flip's haircut?

[Sage Foley]

I. Well, I got a picture of I. Ted. Flip, send me.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's crazy work.

[Sage Foley]

I use that. And I use the chatgpt that you had that you gave me with multiple salon stylists done with barbers, dating and otherwise.

[H. Foley]

You hear that, Rico? Your days are numbered.

[Sage Foley]

I don't care how many lollipops you can get me.

[H. Foley]

Oh, that's an Enzo. All right, we gotta wrap it up, gang.

[Sage Foley]

We love you to death. And you know what? We'll see you in three days.

[H. Foley]

Peace.