Dusty Slay Returns!

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Dusty Slay Returns!" – Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Episode Information

• Title: Dusty Slay Returns!
• Release Date: August 4, 2025
• Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
• Guest: Dusty Slay
• Description: In this episode, Dusty Slay returns to the "Are You Garbage?" podcast, hosted by comedians Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. The show delves into Dusty's tumultuous past, his journey through comedy, and his ongoing struggle with personal challenges, all wrapped in the show’s signature trashy comedy style.

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Introduction and Welcome [00:00 – 01:44]

The episode kicks off with H. Foley welcoming listeners to another edition of "Are You Garbage?" and introducing the hosts, Kevin Ryan and himself. The atmosphere is set with light-hearted banter about the show's premise—determining if comedians are "classy" or "trash."

• H. Foley [00:00]: "Welcome to another exciting edition of Are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash."

Kevin briefly chimes in with enthusiasm before introducing their special guest, Dusty Slay, highlighting his latest Netflix special, "Wet Heat."

• Dusty Slay [01:17]: "Thanks for tuning in as always."

Dusty Slay’s Early Years and Legal Troubles [04:00 – 17:28]

Dusty shares anecdotes from his youth, detailing his attempts to join the army at 19 and the subsequent legal issues that derailed his plans. He recounts instances of underage drinking and marijuana possession, culminating in his arrest during a party raid.

• Kevin Ryan [04:30]: "I was ready to join the army. I was committed to that. I was running. I quit smoking cigarettes. I was ready."

Dusty humorously reflects on his interactions with law enforcement, including a memorable encounter where he attempted to hide from a cop by removing his keys from the ignition.

• Kevin Ryan [07:25]: "He just stayed until I did. Oh, I don't think he was ever gonna leave."

The discussion highlights Dusty's rebellious nature and his early struggles with authority, setting the stage for his comedic perspective on personal growth and setbacks.

Transition to Charleston and Personal Growth [20:03 – 29:47]

Dusty narrates his move from his hometown to Charleston, South Carolina, seeking a fresh start and new opportunities. He describes his attempts to integrate into a more refined city by taking improv classes and working various jobs, including at Office Depot and Papa John's.

• Kevin Ryan [20:24]: "And then I moved to Charleston, South Carolina."

Dusty's experiences in Charleston are marked by attempts to fit in, meet new people, and divert his focus from partying to more structured activities like comedy and improv.

• Kevin Ryan [29:35]: "In Charleston, it's a tourist destination. It's a beautiful city. You're listening to one of your favorite songs. You're like, this feels good."

Struggles with Alcohol and Relationships [29:47 – 44:33]

A significant portion of the conversation delves into Dusty's relationship with alcohol. He candidly discusses how drinking was intertwined with his social life, leading to several altercations and personal conflicts.

• Kevin Ryan [35:58]: "We don't condone that out there."

Dusty shares vivid stories of getting into fights at bars, driving under the influence, and the impact these behaviors had on his relationships and self-perception.

• Kevin Ryan [37:07]: "So what's the living situation? Are you on your own? You with your parents? With or with your mom?"

These narratives provide a raw and humorous look into the pitfalls of excessive partying and the challenges of personal responsibility.

Turning Point and Sobriety [53:57 – 66:17]

Dusty recounts a pivotal moment when a fellow party-goer gifted him an Alcoholics Anonymous book, prompting him to reflect on his drinking habits. Despite his initial resistance, this gesture marks the beginning of his path toward sobriety.

• Kevin Ryan [63:35]: "He gave me the big blue book, the Alcoholics Anonymous book."

He explains how reading the book helped him recognize patterns in his behavior, leading to an eventual decision to quit drinking in 2012.

• H. Foley [65:58]: "If you ever go on a boat, you're drinking."

This segment underscores Dusty's journey of self-improvement and the realization of the need to change his lifestyle for the better.

Comedic Pursuits and Current Endeavors [66:17 – End]

Transitioning from his personal struggles, Dusty discusses his foray into comedy, including failed attempts and learning experiences. He humorously describes an instance where he bombed during an open mic session, emphasizing the importance of perseverance in the entertainment industry.

• Kevin Ryan [67:55]: "But I turn around and I see my friend and he's headed back out."

Dusty also highlights his ongoing projects, such as his second Netflix special "Wet Heat," a full-hour YouTube special, and his podcast "We're Having a Good Time Podcast."

• Dusty Slay [70:06]: "So dustyslay.com is my tour. I got, you know, I got. Now I got Wet Heat on Netflix."

The episode concludes with heartfelt thanks and well-wishes from Dusty to the hosts, reaffirming the camaraderie and mutual support within the comedy community.

• Dusty Slay [70:29]: "Thank you. You guys are the best."
• H. Foley [70:44]: "Peace."

Notable Quotes

• H. Foley [00:00]: "The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash."
• Kevin Ryan [04:30]: "I was ready to join the army. I was committed to that."
• Kevin Ryan [07:25]: "He just stayed until I did. Oh, I don't think he was ever gonna leave."
• Dusty Slay [63:35]: "He gave me the big blue book, the Alcoholics Anonymous book."
• Kevin Ryan [37:07]: "So what's the living situation? Are you on your own? You with your parents? With or with your mom?"
• H. Foley [65:58]: "If you ever go on a boat, you're drinking."

Conclusion

"Dusty Slay Returns!" offers a blend of humor, candid storytelling, and reflective insights into Dusty's life journey. From his rocky start and legal issues to his battle with alcohol and eventual pursuit of comedy, Dusty's narrative is both entertaining and relatable. The hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley, skillfully navigate the conversation, infusing it with their trademark comedic flair while allowing Dusty to share his vulnerabilities and triumphs. This episode not only entertains but also provides listeners with a nuanced understanding of the complexities behind a comedian's facade.

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Key Takeaways:

• Personal Growth: Dusty's journey from rebellious youth to seeking sobriety underscores the theme of personal transformation.
• Humor in Adversity: The episode highlights how humor can be a coping mechanism for life's challenges.
• Community and Support: The interactions between Dusty and the hosts emphasize the importance of friendship and support in overcoming personal struggles.
• Comedy as Therapy: Dusty's experiences in comedy illustrate how pursuing one's passion can aid in self-discovery and healing.

Recommendation: This episode is a must-listen for fans of the "Are You Garbage?" podcast and anyone interested in the behind-the-scenes lives of comedians. Dusty Slay's honest and humorous recounting of his experiences provides both laughs and meaningful reflections.

Transcript

[H. Foley]

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RU Garbage. Oh, yeah, it's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a group to be classy, but they're just a big old piece of trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

Trash, trash.

[H. Foley]

I'm your host stage. Holy. Coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition. X rays came back negative.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

It's only meniscus damage in her left knee. And Tootie will be ready for the start of the NFL season.

[Dusty Slay]

I can't wait. It's good for her.

[H. Foley]

My coast is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of Are you garbage? He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. And I worked in that tutti for like two hours and didn't even like it. Give it up for KJ Kevin, James Ryan, everybody.

[Dusty Slay]

What up, gang?

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to you.

[Dusty Slay]

Thanks for tuning in as always. Please make sure you rate View subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also full video available over there on Spotify. And I gotta be out. We're climbing the charts over there on Spotify. We're coming for that number one spot then obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com. past 15,000 Patreons over there. Go check it out, gang.

[H. Foley]

Yes, sir. And gang, we couldn't be more excited of our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest back with us again today. We only got to the age of 19.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

That's the level of garbage we're dealing with. He is in the running for the king of garbage. He's been talked about almost every episode since he's been here.

[Dusty Slay]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

He's got a brand new special out on Netflix right now, Wet Heat. Do yourself a favor and give it up for Mr. Dusty Slay, everybody. The king is back.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, I'm so pumped to be here. This is the best podcast I've ever done.

[Dusty Slay]

Thank you very much.

[Kevin Ryan]

People really liked it and I was like, how? How would I ever do another episode? I almost was like, I'm, you know, I'm afraid to do another episode because people would be like, ah. He was garbage in his ear early life. But he couldn't keep it going.

[H. Foley]

I mean, listen, after 19, did you end up going to the Sorbonne Or Oxford or something like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, no, no. I kept it going.

[H. Foley]

I think we'll be all right, buddy. How are you? Congrats on the special.

[Kevin Ryan]

Thank you. I'm doing great.

[H. Foley]

What's this number of this Netflix special? Your second? Your third?

[Kevin Ryan]

It's my second Netflix special, but I do have a half hour that I did before.

[Dusty Slay]

Right, okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then I also have an hour on YouTube. So, you know, it could be guys.

[Dusty Slay]

Cranking out material in it, man.

[H. Foley]

Killing it.

[Dusty Slay]

Guy stands and delivers material.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it's about a 70 minute special. And then this guy, I saw a comment, of course, bragging over here.

[H. Foley]

I like 22 minutes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, I find the negative comment, this guy goes, oh, yeah, he did two old jokes. And they had to be like. And I know one of them. But it. But it's a new setup for sure. I was like, I can do this. It was on my Netflix half hour. But I was like, I could do this and it'll help get into this other thing. But it's like 30 seconds of old jokes and it's 70 minutes. I could have just did 60.

[Dusty Slay]

60 and a half.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right. It's like, don't be upset about that. 30 seconds.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, you're re you. That's how you rework stuff.

[Dusty Slay]

You find all this is a guy who doesn't have material for our new toys.

[H. Foley]

It's hard, right? Material? Nah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Fresh air, fresh stuff in my pocket right now. And it's not old. It's certified pre owned.

[Dusty Slay]

Right.

[Kevin Ryan]

And it's also like the half hour. I felt like I didn't know if people really saw it.

[Dusty Slay]

Sure. Listen.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

So I want them to see it.

[Dusty Slay]

One guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, get out of here. And he deleted his comments.

[Dusty Slay]

And you are comment.

[Kevin Ryan]

I get on there, I get into the comments.

[Dusty Slay]

You're in a deep.

[H. Foley]

I can't do with you swatting his house. That's so funny now. All right, let's get back into it. All right. Last we left you, you were 19. You had signed up for the army and then got immediately released because of a little smoking Dubage, I think, is what it was.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, well, I got arrested, right. For. I was. Had weed and alcohol in the car.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was drinking in the car, but I wasn't. Listen, I was ready to join the army. I was committed to that. I was running. I quit smoking cigarettes. I was ready. My recruiter was like, hey, you're about to join. You're about to go in. You're about to get shipped off. And he's like, I know you like, to smoke weed. So he's like, if you're going to do it, do it tonight because you'll get shipped off in 30 days and you'll get another drug test. So that's a crazy thing for recruiting. Yeah, he did say I shouldn't say this.

[H. Foley]

Fair enough.

[Dusty Slay]

All good ideas. Follow that. Listen, between me and you, go get up there.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then I. So I went and hung out with some buddies, and then we were going to go meet these girls that I'd never met. It's like a country song. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Hang with some buddies, meet some girls.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't even know if that was.

[H. Foley]

Definitely an open field.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I don't even know if they were real because I didn't know them prior, and I never made it to their house, never met them, and it never. We never followed up. You know, that's the good old days.

[Dusty Slay]

When it was just like a group. Just like, oh, there's a group of girls at the next school. Yeah, they may or may not have existed.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. And, you know, we were on our way out the door, a buddy goes, hey, I got. You guys want these beers? He goes, I'm not gonna drink them. So me and my friend, we took the two. All we had to do was not open them, you know? Sure. There was no reason.

[Dusty Slay]

It was two beers.

[Kevin Ryan]

Two beers. One for me, one for him.

[H. Foley]

Gentlemen. You think the army would want a kid like that? This guy parties, he's ready to go.

[Kevin Ryan]

You would think.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I don't know about that.

[Kevin Ryan]

But on the. On the way, we opened them and there was, you know, again, we could have just. Because I thought, well, this will be cool. You know, we're pulling out to the girl's house, we're drinking. We're getting out of the car. Look at us, we've been drink.

[Dusty Slay]

That is pretty cool. I gotta get.

[H. Foley]

Just joined the army. What's up?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I think so.

[H. Foley]

Ship it out tomorrow.

[Kevin Ryan]

But, you know. But we get pulled over because I'm on the interstate and there's a. And my exit is next. Yeah, my exit is next. And the cops there. And he's going real slow. And I'm like, what do I do? Do I go jinx on the wall?

[H. Foley]

He's driving.

[Dusty Slay]

Let's go.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's driving, and I pull up behind him, and I'm like, do I hit the lights? I'm like, do I pass him? Spears getting warm here immediately off, or do I drive behind him real slow? So I kind of did both. I drove behind him real slow, and then I Go. I can't do this. So then I went around. This is suspicious, you idiot. I know.

[H. Foley]

Crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then when I got off.

[H. Foley]

Cops don't like it when you pass them.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know, But I was like, he's going too slow. It seems suspicious to ride behind.

[Dusty Slay]

I do get that, too, though.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

This is entrapment.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Setup.

[H. Foley]

Plus, you're high and drunk.

[Dusty Slay]

Losing my buzz here. Right?

[Kevin Ryan]

If I'm sober. Yeah. You just go right around. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Not weird.

[Kevin Ryan]

You risk the ticket.

[H. Foley]

But you just drove in the middle lane, real slow with your lights high beams on.

[Kevin Ryan]

But I had the idea. Somebody told me one time that if you. If you're ever. If a cops following you, just pull over. And then take the keys out of the ignition. And then you're like, I'm not driving.

[Dusty Slay]

That's dirt bag.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that doesn't work. I don't know if it's true, but that's what someone told you to get here, sir?

[H. Foley]

I don't recall.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, exactly. But that's what they say. And sitting there eating your keys. And I did use this a couple of times later in life, but this time I said, you know what? No, no, I'm just going to keep going. And then I got pulled over.

[H. Foley]

So you. Did he pull you off? Did he exit with you?

[Kevin Ryan]

He exited with me and then pulled me over. And then I just had these two open beer bottles. So I'm like, well, I could leave it here and just let him see it, or I could stuff it under the seat, let it spill out and him smell it. And that's what I did. I stuffed it under the seat.

[Dusty Slay]

I respect that.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then my friend had weed in his pocket and he stuffed it in his beer bottle. So then it became mine because it's in my car now.

[Dusty Slay]

He couldn't jump on that charge for you and go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Actually, his dad confronted me later, wanting me to take the charge for both. Whoa. Because his son had been in trouble with me a couple of times.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow. You're a bad apple. Dusty's a bad.

[Kevin Ryan]

But it was him getting me in trouble. Okay.

[H. Foley]

This time, both times. Oh, really?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I was at a party at my house once. This guy.

[Dusty Slay]

Sounds like you're the basement. Sounds like. Is your party at your house, Dusty? I don't know how to break that to you. You're the bad guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

So one time I kidnapped this lady.

[H. Foley]

All right, stay with me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, this guy. And then a guy showed up. Everybody was a little annoyed.

[H. Foley]

This is at the trailer.

[Kevin Ryan]

This was at my mom's house. House. We moved out when I was 15. Out of the trailer into a house just in time to get a driver's license. So I didn't have to have Lot 8 more trailer park on my driver's license.

[Dusty Slay]

I remember that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Which was good for me, but really good for me, but got me into Harvard, but, you know, so I had a party and this guy showed up that everybody was a little annoyed with. So my buddy who was with me in the car went over, smacks this guy, and then the guy leaves and I think he called the police.

[H. Foley]

What a dick.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. So anyway, so the place got raided. Yeah. And then the cops came.

[H. Foley]

How old were you at this time with the party?

[Kevin Ryan]

17.

[H. Foley]

And what'd they do?

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, they just came and busted the party and it was cool. There were some out of town girls there. It was gonna be. It was gonna be a great.

[Dusty Slay]

Gonna be a good party.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it was like one of the best.

[Dusty Slay]

I feel like the south has a lot of out of town girls.

[H. Foley]

Out of town girls.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was gonna be. It was gonna be a good one.

[Dusty Slay]

They made the drive. Oh, they got on the interstate. Yeah, the whole nine.

[H. Foley]

We got out of town broads here.

[Dusty Slay]

I got out of town trim on the way. You're jamming me me up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ah, they were. And the cops were there. And other. I could see other people about to pull in and realizing the cops are there. I was like, this was gonna get so good.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then I got arrested. Well, I didn't know. I didn't get arrested. The cops just called. My. My.

[Dusty Slay]

Nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

So my mom came home with her boyfriend who was also drunk.

[H. Foley]

Hold on. Where was your mom? Wasn't away.

[Kevin Ryan]

My mom, you know, she was at her boyfriend's house.

[H. Foley]

You threw a party when your mom was in town?

[Kevin Ryan]

Would be gone for days at a time.

[H. Foley]

Time. Okay, so she was over there. She stays over out of town trim right now.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

We're all doing it. We're all doing it. Some out of town broads lined up.

[H. Foley]

Her boyfriend calls you up. I got out of town girls over here. You're me up there. Okay, that makes sense. That's funny because, you know.

[Dusty Slay]

Sorry. I do have to say I apologize. Referring to your mom is trim. I had to take.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, that's funny though.

[Dusty Slay]

I.

[H. Foley]

But you realize that you don't throw a party at your house unless. Unless your parents or mom is out of town. She's just over at her boyfriend's house.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I mean, she's staying there probably.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was technically a different town.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, right. I'm with Dusty on this one.

[H. Foley]

She's not on vacation. She could come back if she forgot something.

[Dusty Slay]

Yes, but at 17, that's the. You're taking that swing.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Also, I don't think his mom's going to Turks and Caicos for the next few weeks.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what I mean? No, no.

[Dusty Slay]

So that's.

[Kevin Ryan]

That. That's out of town. She's showed up when I was having parties, you know, care a lot or just. She would not be happy that all these people were in the house. But, you know, usually everybody kept it cool, and it wasn't, like, low key. It wasn't like the house was so pristine that, you know, there was. Things did get broken, but it was, you know, gotcha. Not that big of a deal.

[H. Foley]

But that's rent a center's problem, huh?

[Dusty Slay]

Call up Shaq.

[H. Foley]

I'm only leasing this.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I quit making payments.

[Dusty Slay]

Anytime they come back and pick this up right away, I don't want it no more.

[H. Foley]

I like. Okay. So the cops break it up.

[Kevin Ryan]

They break it up. They. They. Well, the part, yeah. And then my friend who slapped the guy was in his car in the driveway, out the window, throw up on the side of his car. So he gets his parents called, too. Everybody else just has to go home.

[Dusty Slay]

Good old days. Just go home.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Get out of here.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's his, you know, it's his fault that got in trouble, you know? I mean, sure, I had the party, right? Handle yourself.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that's not. That's not on you. Yeah, that's not on you at all. But since that happened, the dad's kind of looking at you as though.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. So now it's me and that guy again in the car getting arrested. Mm.

[H. Foley]

And you got arrested this time?

[Kevin Ryan]

This time when I got pulled over, I did get arrested.

[Dusty Slay]

Open beers in your car.

[Kevin Ryan]

Open beer.

[H. Foley]

You remember what the beer was?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't remember.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would think it was a Bud Light.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was kind of the beer.

[H. Foley]

Probably not an import.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, no, no.

[Dusty Slay]

It wasn't a new cast.

[Kevin Ryan]

No. Definitely not an import. I would have said no to the. At that point, I would have said no.

[Dusty Slay]

The hell is even that?

[H. Foley]

Yeah, boy. What are you doing drinking hoe and garden. That's an extra charge in this county.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm gonna need to see your passport.

[H. Foley]

Is that a orange in your beer?

[Kevin Ryan]

So we never made it to the. To the girls. And then we ended up in jail. Local, you know, my hometown. And there was a guy in my cell who we knew some similar People.

[Dusty Slay]

And another very, I was very defense attorney. Yeah, we had known similar people.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then another guy down the way we went to high school with and he yelled to me. So it was fun. I mean it was like, hey, you know, we're all. It's a nice reunion, right? And then. Yeah. And then I called my brother in law. He came and bailed me out because he's the one guy that wouldn't tell on me. Now I wrote a joke about this that it was a. He came to pick me up in a dump truck. He says it was a tow truck. I don't remember. But either way he came and picked me up.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, I think the fact. If you're arguing over a tow truck or dump truck, it's.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I always said that I, you know, my nightmare was a five year old's dream. I got to ride in a police car in a dump truck all in one day.

[Dusty Slay]

That's a good bet. That's a good bit. I don't care if you did that on a half hour. That's a good bet.

[H. Foley]

That's all right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I've reused that joke a few times. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

How does your brother in law have access to both a dump truck or.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, that was the kind of work he did. You know, he would, you know, he had a lot of jobs where the weather determined whether he went to work.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

A lot of road work.

[H. Foley]

Right.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I guess.

[Dusty Slay]

All right, so at 19, this is the. You get busted, you're not joining the army.

[Kevin Ryan]

So now the army recruiter comes to my. I have to go in and tell them. I go, hey, I got arrested. So the army recruiters like now trying to like figure out how to still get me.

[H. Foley]

Right.

[Dusty Slay]

Get in with a dui.

[H. Foley]

Well, was it a dui?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it was underage consumption of alcohol and possession of marijuana. So I had those two things. Yeah, yeah. I mean I got youthful offender, which means it's not on my record.

[H. Foley]

Nice.

[Dusty Slay]

That sounds pretty religious.

[Kevin Ryan]

Useful. Useful.

[H. Foley]

Sounds like a good name for a band.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Offender.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Good Christian.

[Kevin Ryan]

Probably is. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

But the. So and then the recruiter now is like trying to figure. He, he wants to. He's concocted a lie to. To. He said, I have a big family reunion that I need to go to. So I need my ship off date moved because my court date comes after my ship off date. So I, So I can't go.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

I could go in.

[H. Foley]

This guy's a closer.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He came to my house and I, he was ringing the Doorbell knocking on the door. And I was like, I'm just not going to answer. And he stayed until I did. Oh, I don't think he was ever gonna leave. I would still be trapped in the house. He would still be ringing the doorbell. This guy was not gonna leave.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, closer.

[H. Foley]

I like.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think it's hard to get recruits. This was pre 911 too, so I don't know. But anyway, yeah, that was tough.

[H. Foley]

My dad was a naval recruiter. He said the easiest time was right after Top Gun came out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[H. Foley]

He said it was like signing up.

[Dusty Slay]

He's there. He's got a book. That do anything for you?

[Kevin Ryan]

I bet. So, I mean, I was just trying to get. I was just trying to get out of my hometown. Trying to get some. Some college money, some out of town girls. Yeah, exactly. I could go to them. They don't have to come to me. You're out of town guy. Yeah. And that's what I wanted, to be, an out of town guy. I had never been an out of town guy. Yeah. You know, but in. So. So he drove me to the thing. They denied the request, so then I had to get a lawyer. And then I ended up getting nine months suspended license to several fines. Community service. It seemed like a lot. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

What was the community service you had to do?

[Kevin Ryan]

I had to go pick up trash.

[H. Foley]

No shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

The guy was great, though. The trash guy.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

He was like. Like I did like half the time. And he goes, you're good. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I was 10 hours that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

On the highway.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Down there.

[Kevin Ryan]

And even then there were. I mean, my town was not so small, but small enough. There were guys in jail on the bus that I knew.

[H. Foley]

Hey, man, what's up?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. And they were trying to get me to bring them stuff. And I was like, listen, I'm not. I'm on probation. I'm not trying to get in worse.

[H. Foley]

Trouble, like bring sandwiches or like, bring stuff like gum.

[Kevin Ryan]

But I was like, if you're not allowed to have gum, I'm not bringing it. I'm not gonna bring it to you.

[H. Foley]

That's a real good point. Gum, you can't have gum.

[Dusty Slay]

You're jammed up if you can't have gum.

[H. Foley]

I don't know what situation you're in when you can't get a stick of.

[Dusty Slay]

Chew at any point, but the state of Tennessee has said this cannot happen.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, gang, this is an ad by BetterHelp.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes.

[H. Foley]

As you know, Kevin and I started our mental health journey not that long ago. We're both working on ourselves.

[Dusty Slay]

Speak for yourself.

[H. Foley]

Going up there, going off the rails on a crazy train gang. Listen, here's the turkey. Here's the bottom line. If you got something that you're dealing with, whether it's big, whether it's small, whatever it is, could be something from your childhood, or it could be just something to talk through. I'm telling you right now. As a guy who resisted talk therapy, BetterHelp will help you go online, talk to a licensed therapist in your own home. You don't got to go to an office. You don't got to deal with this. You don't got to deal with that. You can immediately start getting something off your chest that you need to get off. And I promise you better help will help.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes.

[Dusty Slay]

And these days with the Internet and your phone, there's videos. Hey, cold plunge. Do that. Do the info. Do all, all these different things that.

[H. Foley]

Can or talk it out, baby.

[Dusty Slay]

Can or cannot help. It's tough to find out what works for you and use trusted resources. And talking to a live therapist can get you personalized recommendations and help you break through all of the noise. Let's talk cheddar. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Talk it out with better help, our listeners get 10% off their first [e-mail] garbage. It's betterhelp. H E L P.com garbage.

[H. Foley]

Kevin somebody. True Classics. You see this piece of crap right here? Not a true classic. That's why it's itchy. That's why it's hugging up at my throat. That's why it doesn't hug the guns. And it's tight around my waist and I look like an absolute bozo. If I was smart, I would have grabbed the T shirt right next to it, which is a true classic. But I didn't because I'm an idiot. And you don't want to be an idiot. Do yourself a favor. Get over to True Classics and get the best T shirts you're ever going to wear. And here's the other thing.

[Dusty Slay]

What's that?

[H. Foley]

Let me tell you this, pinhead, okay?

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know why you got beef.

[H. Foley]

With me, but sure, they got a whole bunch of shirts.

[Dusty Slay]

It's not my fault you picked a bad shirt today. You should have went true. I've been telling you True Classics for years, and you're doing bozo shirts my whole day, which is ruining my day.

[H. Foley]

The best T shirts in the game. True Classics. They Also have tons of activewear. So do yourself a favor. Go that website.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know the rest.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Forget overpriced brands. Skip the cheap throwaway stuff. True Classic is built for comfort, but the last built to give back, baby. You can find them at Target, Costco, or head to true classics.com garbage and try them for yourself.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do it.

[Dusty Slay]

All right. So what's the living situation? Are you on your own? You with your parents? With or with your mom?

[H. Foley]

Your mom.

[Kevin Ryan]

Still living with my mom.

[Dusty Slay]

Still living at your mom.

[H. Foley]

New house.

[Kevin Ryan]

New house. But after this, and I. I'm. It's a little fuzzy on the timeline. It happened right before or after.

[H. Foley]

But y' all done beers in you?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I bought the trailer that I grew up.

[Dusty Slay]

I remember that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. For a thousand bucks.

[Dusty Slay]

And you and your boys were hanging.

[Kevin Ryan]

Out, and we all moved back there.

[Dusty Slay]

And then we did touch that.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then that's where I lived until about 2003. This was all happening in 2000.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

The rest. And so I lived there till about 2003. And then I moved to Charleston, South Carolina.

[H. Foley]

So this is the left turn right here. You didn't go to the Army?

[Kevin Ryan]

Didn't go to the Army.

[H. Foley]

Thought about comedy?

[Kevin Ryan]

No. Comedy never crossed my mind.

[H. Foley]

Nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

I just was like, I need to get out of here. I was like, I gotta get out of here. I love my hometown. Actually, this past year, I went back to my hometown. I got to be the grand marshal of the Christmas parade. Whoa. And a key to the city.

[Dusty Slay]

That's pretty good. Look at that.

[H. Foley]

Did you tell us this last time?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, no. This has just happened.

[Dusty Slay]

You got a key. You might be the first guy that has a key to the city.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Small city. Yeah. Yeah, I know. Thank you.

[Dusty Slay]

You run for mayor?

[Kevin Ryan]

I should. And even.

[Dusty Slay]

Was it big?

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, it's a small key. Small key, but it's in a case. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Do you ever see. Did you ever see the cop that pulled you over, or.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, Actually, I worked at Office Depot after that, and I did see that guy. What was he doing there? Well, this was in between movies.

[H. Foley]

Oral surgery. What do you think he was doing?

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, I was delivering pizzas. And then when I lost my license since I couldn't deliver pizza anymore, so I went to work at Office Depot stocking shelves.

[H. Foley]

Nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

And a good gig. It is a good gig. I. I was getting high a lot.

[Dusty Slay]

Air conditioned.

[Kevin Ryan]

Air conditioned. Inside. Inside. And I was. I started being the. Like, the receiving manager, but I wasn't the manager. I was just the receiver, I guess. And so I would go in at 6am, unload the truck. So I was like, it was perfect because you can get really high at, you know, 5:30am and everybody just thinks you're sleepy. Ah, that's pretty good. So for two hours, the store's not open. I'm high, unloading the truck, Bears, whatever. Yeah. And, you know, it was great.

[H. Foley]

That's pretty good. So you see the cop?

[Kevin Ryan]

I see the cop. I don't do anything, but I do.

[Dusty Slay]

See, I didn't think you were gonna beat him up.

[Kevin Ryan]

He was still in uniform and I wanted to.

[H. Foley]

He didn't recognize you?

[Kevin Ryan]

No. I mean, I guess, you know, he probably arrests a lot of people, huh? He didn't seem like a very nice guy. Yeah, he was a little overweight. And I remember the guy saying to another when he arrested me, he goes, fat guys on a roll. So he was just, you know, fat.

[H. Foley]

Guys on a roll.

[Dusty Slay]

That should be your motto.

[H. Foley]

Let me ask you this.

[Dusty Slay]

Did you. Hey. Iron.

[H. Foley]

When you got. When he busted you, did you happen to say to him, hey, I'm going into the Army?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I said.

[Dusty Slay]

You opened with that?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I said, well, I'm going to the army.

[Dusty Slay]

Fight for your freedom.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I'm. I'm scared this is going to mess me up. He said, this is going to mess you up, or you're going to mess you up. Meaning this is your fault.

[Dusty Slay]

You've, you've, You've made your bed.

[H. Foley]

I gotta say, 2000, a cop, young kid going in the army. If he wasn't a real dickhead, he would have looked, he would have done something to help you out.

[Dusty Slay]

How you can believe this guy? He's got open beers and he's high. You believe it? You can say anything to you?

[Kevin Ryan]

I think he could have checked it out.

[H. Foley]

Could have checked it out.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm glad he didn't.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, no kidding.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would have been in boot camp, you know, when September 11th happened. So. And people. Because I've talked about this before, some people have trashed me, like. And I was like, I'm not trying to act like I was a, you know, trying to be a hero. I really was going for free college for money.

[H. Foley]

Of course.

[Kevin Ryan]

I thought I was real dumb and I thought, who's gonna mess with America? You know what I mean? I thought, we're never killing it. Yeah. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow. Who's gonna mess with. What are they gonna do?

[Kevin Ryan]

We'll never be at war again.

[H. Foley]

Couple of years in Hawaii, no big deal.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, I worked with a guy at Papa John's and He told me how he was in the Navy, and he told me how fun it was. And.

[Dusty Slay]

Wait, he was in the Navy and he's back at Papa John's? You could have just bypassed the Navy. Papa John's.

[Kevin Ryan]

I wasn't connecting a lot, you know?

[H. Foley]

Plus, I picture you at boot camp, everybody with their head shaved, and you looking just like that. You got the hat on.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

What you yelling for, man?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I don't think it would have been good for me.

[Dusty Slay]

No, no, I think. Yeah, of course. That's okay. So Office Depot, then. What was the. What was the string of jobs?

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, from. From, you know, Papa John's at Office Depot were my only jobs, okay. Until I left Opelika, which was my hometown, in 2003. 2003.

[Dusty Slay]

Charleston.

[H. Foley]

Charleston.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then I transferred with Office Depot.

[Dusty Slay]

Whoa, you got corporate involved?

[H. Foley]

Do they pay for your move?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, no, they didn't pay for my move, and there was no raise, so, you know, my rent went way up. Yeah, I got no raise, but I was employee of the month the second month I was there. Well, yeah, the other Office Depot in Opelika, they were threatening to fire me for insubordination, they said. And I said to them, I don't even know what that means.

[H. Foley]

And what were you doing other than getting high in the morning?

[Kevin Ryan]

There were. Yeah, I mean, there was a. The receiving manager position went away, and then I took that guy's job, and then that guy became a different manager. It was like he just was.

[H. Foley]

Had it in for you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, he was all over the place, like, calling me out for boxes, and I go, I know where everything's at here. Don't worry about.

[H. Foley]

I got my own system.

[Dusty Slay]

Dale cut the bench with the erasers with the outlets. This place is a mess.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I was like. I yelled at the guy, and then they took me into the office, and they said that to me, we could fire you for insubordinate. Where I go. I don't even know what that means.

[Dusty Slay]

Speak English, please.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay?

[Dusty Slay]

I'm about to join the Navy.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then I got you.

[H. Foley]

Speak American here, lady.

[Kevin Ryan]

My mom worked at the Office Depot, too.

[Dusty Slay]

Dude, that is such a dirt bag thing. Multiple generations of a family work at the same place. That's not a family business.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

And she worked at the same store.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Who got who the job?

[Kevin Ryan]

She worked there first, okay? She got me the job.

[Dusty Slay]

To get your mom a job?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Tough. Look, if that was the other way, okay?

[H. Foley]

She's good people, man.

[Dusty Slay]

A guy yelled the one that was about to fire You.

[Kevin Ryan]

A guy yelled at my mom in there one day. A customer.

[Dusty Slay]

Whoa.

[Kevin Ryan]

My mom was crying in the break room, so I went out and I yelled at that guy.

[Dusty Slay]

Good for you.

[Kevin Ryan]

My manager was helping him put a chair in his trunk, and I yelled at the guy.

[Dusty Slay]

There's always another layer to this.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. And then I. And then the manager started yelling at me, and I was like, like, oh, you wouldn't let anybody talk to your mom that way. And he was like, well, my mom's dead. And I was like, well, that's not the time to bring this up.

[Dusty Slay]

It's my deal. Dusty, close this guy on an ergonomic chair.

[H. Foley]

I gotta say though, your logic in from what I'm hearing is not wrong. You also have to add in small town mannerism, small town behavior in a small town, that is something that's acceptable, sir. We don't yell at people's moms.

[Dusty Slay]

My mom said, that's not my problem, Randy. That's not the crux of the issue. I'm sorry for your.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I'm real sorry about that, man. I apologize.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then he fired me in the break room, and then my mom.

[Dusty Slay]

Did he have the authority to do that?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, he was the manager. He was. And then my mom worked there. My mom came back there was trying to cool it down. I go, well, he just fired me. And then my mom starts crying again. And then he hires me back, hey, Dusty, I apologize.

[Dusty Slay]

I just heard about the mom coming.

[H. Foley]

I see a 10% raise, two weeks vacation.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm gonna go ahead and reinstate you.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then the customer that I yelled at brought my mom flowers the next day. Whoa. See, that's what I'm saying.

[Dusty Slay]

That's so funny. All. Dude, a lot went down in that break room.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I mean, these guys. I mean, that's so funny. Okay. I get fired up. I mean, people. If people are rude to my mom.

[Dusty Slay]

I get really fired up.

[Kevin Ryan]

I yelled at a guy to move the movie theater one time. I forget exactly.

[Dusty Slay]

To pick up your mom might be the problem.

[Kevin Ryan]

She could be, but my mom was.

[H. Foley]

Playing her music loud in the middle of the theater.

[Kevin Ryan]

But he. I don't know, it's like some usher guy or whatever was real rude to my mom. And I was like, what? Yeah, it's a reason for you to be rude to my mom, man.

[H. Foley]

You can't grill in here.

[Kevin Ryan]

I told.

[H. Foley]

You, she's got dogs going. Shut the up. They're almost done. No, I'm with you. 100. And that does create a bad situation, especially in Customer service.

[Kevin Ryan]

And it is. Yeah, you're right, though. It's like if. Even if your mom's in the wrong, you're like, of course.

[H. Foley]

Don't talk to her like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, of course.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, that's so funny. Okay, so the move to. Sorry to cut you off. No, the move to Charleston.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, moved. I just was ready to, you know, do something else.

[H. Foley]

Did you know anybody in Charleston?

[Kevin Ryan]

I moved with a friend and we wanted to move to Savannah, Georgia.

[H. Foley]

Right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Because the Savannah had come to our Savannah.

[H. Foley]

Ran out of gas money.

[Kevin Ryan]

Savannah College of art and design had come to my high school. And I was like, this is cool. And it was really expensive, so I was never gonna go, but I thought it'd be cool to just be in Savannah.

[H. Foley]

Uh huh.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is my logic.

[H. Foley]

I'm with you.

[Kevin Ryan]

And we went and visited, and my friend's dad lived in Charleston, which was two hours away. So we go, let's go visit his dad. And then his dad was. I told him he could get him a job at the hospital.

[Dusty Slay]

So that's good work if you can get it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. And we were like, looking at the city and there were these girls selling Italian ice, which were very attractive. And I was like, this is enough for me. I can out of town girls. I got nothing going in Savannah.

[H. Foley]

Was that the first time you saw Italian ice too?

[Kevin Ryan]

It was, yeah. I didn't know. Yeah, I didn't know what it was, but I was like, this is what I'm talking about.

[Dusty Slay]

It's cool. It's refreshing.

[H. Foley]

They got frozen kool aid out here. You believe that?

[Dusty Slay]

He's Italian. He's Italians. What will they think of next? They're greasy and I don't trust them. But they're good. They know their way around a frozen tree.

[H. Foley]

Italian ice. It's colorful. Tastes sweet.

[Dusty Slay]

Dusty. Couple of hot brunches, couple of hot.

[H. Foley]

Brooks, some water, ice coldi On a.

[Dusty Slay]

Move when you were supposed to move to Savannah.

[Kevin Ryan]

But I loved it. I was like, this is enough for me.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, that's great.

[H. Foley]

I say this all the time. He'll get annoyed. I went there once over a Labor Day weekend. Spent a long weekend at Charleston. Love it.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's a great spot.

[H. Foley]

Unfucking believable.

[Dusty Slay]

What was the dwelling that you moved? What was the living situation when you got.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, me and my buddy, we moved to, you know, just a regular apartment.

[Dusty Slay]

Charleston proper or outside.

[Kevin Ryan]

Outside of town. Called West Ashley is what it was called.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

And still a Charleston address, but it's called West Ashley.

[H. Foley]

And we big on the addresses.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You don't have much going on. You're really defined by what's on your license.

[H. Foley]

I'm a zip code man.

[Kevin Ryan]

It is true, though. Like now I live in Nashville and it's in Davidson county. And I moved to Hendersonville for a little while and I had a. A different county on my tag. And I didn't like it. Like, no, I want to be.

[Dusty Slay]

Want to be back.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I gotcha. So I, you know, me and my buddy, he moved his girlfriend up right away. This was not part of the plan. Me and my buddy had a whole plan. And then immediately he moves his girlfriend out.

[Dusty Slay]

We're supposed to get them Italian, bro.

[Kevin Ryan]

And they're hanging out. And now I'm alone. I'm making no money. I moved from a town where I knew everybody to knowing nobody. And I got no money. And I'm just hanging, chilling. And me and my buddy, we lasted together maybe two months. Wow. And then I moved out to where I. Well, in the meantime, I took an improv class.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

In Charleston.

[Kevin Ryan]

In Charleston. I was like, I need to meet people. And you're working at Office Depot in North Charleston. All. Everybody there's old and I can't, you know, And I'm trying to get them to come drink with me. I just need a friend. None of the old guys will drink with me. Sure.

[Dusty Slay]

What. What's the car at this point getting you from A to B?

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm driving a 1999 Saturn. Not bad. Four door, dark blue, gray bumpers.

[Dusty Slay]

What year are we talking?

[Kevin Ryan]

99.

[Dusty Slay]

What year is it?

[Kevin Ryan]

2003.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, that's pretty good. Really good.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's a nice looking car. Okay. Stick shift, no power steering. My man. Real to drive. But yeah, I mean, but yeah. None of these people will hang with me, so I'm like, I need friends. So I took an improv class and one time a guy in the improv class stood up and said, hey, I'm. My roommate moved away. I need a roommate. So I was like, oh, I'll move in. And so I moved in with this guy and it was great.

[Dusty Slay]

You like beers?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. And me and him did drink, you know, we had a great time. And then. And he was, you know, he was Jewish. And at the time, I never seen. I had never met a Jewish person.

[Dusty Slay]

Italians and Jewish guys, you are.

[Kevin Ryan]

I had no idea. I never understood. Like, I remember.

[H. Foley]

What's your eyes look like?

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember watching the movie School Ties, I think with Brendan Fraser. Sure, Fraser. And they had. They, you know, and I Remember them making a lot of, like, Jew jokes about him. I'm like, I don't understand what's happening here. Yeah. And, you know, But I moved in.

[H. Foley]

Probably not the best first introduction to Judaism.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Right. Or the movie Mississippi Burning. Remember that movie? That movie was filmed. All the downtown scenes were filmed in my dad's hometown.

[H. Foley]

You mentioned.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mentioned that, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

He met somebody that did Rip.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. So. But, yeah, I mean, that. It really played no role, but I just. It was significant to me. I'd never met a Jewish person. And now we're like, roommates.

[Dusty Slay]

That's pretty good culture move, big city. You're moving up. You're, you know, learning.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. He's from Ohio. I don't think I knew anybody from Ohio.

[H. Foley]

I did sleep with one eye open.

[Dusty Slay]

For the first month.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was all a big deal for me. And then I, you know, I started taking improv, and then I got a restaurant job. I eventually got a job working at Hyman Seafood Food.

[Dusty Slay]

Doing what there, though?

[Kevin Ryan]

I was a food runner.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Big, big food scene in Charleston.

[Kevin Ryan]

Huge.

[H. Foley]

I talk about it all the time.

[Kevin Ryan]

Huge. I took a resume in. I made a resume, and I took him to all these restaurants in town. I got one place. I asked for a waiter job, and they said, well, we're hiring cooks. And I go, all right, I'll take that. And they go, sounds like you want to be a waiter, though. I don't know what we're doing here, though.

[Dusty Slay]

We're actually looking for a head of accounting. I'll do. I smoke weed on the job.

[H. Foley]

You change the jacket real quick.

[Dusty Slay]

It's cool. My roommate's Jewish.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I could get help if I need help.

[Dusty Slay]

He's great with numbers. Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

So I took the job as a food runner with a promise to be a waiter eventually. And I got a haircut. I had long hair at the time, so I. I actually went, yeah, I got a haircut. And then I. But. But wasn't necessary. The guy that hired me had long hair.

[Dusty Slay]

Coming with a crew cut, sir, yes, sir.

[Kevin Ryan]

But then I met drinking buddies, and this is.

[Dusty Slay]

You know, I was good about that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I was working downtown. I was doing improv, so I was now meeting people that I could go drink with. And this was really good for me. This is really fun. I remember drinking and driving, like, the first time being like, oh, I shouldn't be doing this, you know? And then I made it home, so the next time was a little easier. And next time was the.

[Dusty Slay]

We don't condone that out there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Of course. Yeah. Well, it's so weird. You talk to people now and they're way against drinking it.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, you'd be locked up for even saying that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. You know, and I'm not saying it's good. No, it's a different time. But they don't even understand that everyone was doing that. Yeah, that's what was going on out here.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, for sure. I mean, there's a. There's a good chance that if you see construction workers in a van or a pickup truck, 4 o' clock or, you know, 4 o' clock on a Friday, there's a sixer rolling around in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, yeah. I mean, I remember working with a guy and we left work and he had a cooler and popped up and some beers in the car. And I was like, there's another guy with us who was like, he got real nervous and I was like, this is what I'm talking about. This guy's my boss here.

[Dusty Slay]

My boss is giving me beers.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. And. But so I really started to drink and get into it and like, you know, I was like, 21.

[H. Foley]

When you're working in a restaurant.

[Dusty Slay]

Jesus, We've made it two years.

[H. Foley]

I know.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's not in 40 minutes. Oh, yeah. Well, it's a good thing.

[Dusty Slay]

No, it's a good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, I'm 21 now and I'm like, I'm really getting into it, and then I'm starting to. I'm not fitting in so well in Charleston. I'm coming straight from a trailer park to.

[Dusty Slay]

To this little more refined city.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I'm not really fitting in. And I got deep seated insecurities that I feel like I've, you know, dealt with later in life. But at the time, you know, I'd be drinking, I'd be having a good time, and then I would think someone was judging me. And then I would, like, get mad at them. I would get. And I would get mad at them and I would start a fight. Maybe not a physical fight, but a verbal altercation. Many times I would get kicked out of bars. I got, what's it like?

[Dusty Slay]

What are you looking at? Or you're not better than me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I'd be like, oh, this guy's got a problem here, huh? And then my friends would be like, I don't think so. I think he's just.

[H. Foley]

That's a Mike Ditka cutout. What are you talking about?

[Kevin Ryan]

And, you know, you're sitting there, this.

[Dusty Slay]

Guy got a problem.

[H. Foley]

He's looking in the mirror and, you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Know And I'm a Christian, right? And I.

[Dusty Slay]

But I will slap somebody.

[Kevin Ryan]

But I would get into religious debates with people in the bar sometimes when I was really drunk. And I remember a guy like. Like getting in my face about something at a bar one time we were talking and then I took my hand and I shoved his face back and he goes, oh, that's real Christian, like. And then so I did it again, and then I got kicked out.

[H. Foley]

So I nailed his hands to the wall.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. But so, I mean, that's the kind of thing that I would just, you know, keep doing for a long time. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

In Charleston.

[Kevin Ryan]

In Charleston. And I lived on Folly beach for a while. I moved down to Folly. I lived downtown at a place called Sergeant Jasper, which was a big building that I could now bike to Hyman's.

[H. Foley]

Okay. Is it near the French Quarter? Because that's all I really know.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, no. Okay, now more.

[Dusty Slay]

I get it. You've been to Charleston.

[H. Foley]

I like it there. I'm sorry. As he's talking now, I'm fantasizing about moving down there.

[Dusty Slay]

You want the Slimans or whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's great. It is. Charleston's great.

[H. Foley]

You ever go to Henry's?

[Kevin Ryan]

Henry's? Yeah. Been to Henry's.

[H. Foley]

Have you ever had she crab soup down there?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Hyman's. We used to have she crab soup.

[H. Foley]

See?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Told you it was real.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. It's a little. Originally made from the egg row of crabs. That's where it gets the she from. And then they put a little sherry in there.

[H. Foley]

Yes, they do.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it's all right. Yeah, Very nice. Yeah, it's good.

[H. Foley]

Gang, the show is sponsored by Liquid iv.

[Dusty Slay]

Say it again, sister.

[H. Foley]

This show is sponsored by Liquid iv. Our whole lives are sponsored by Liquid iv.

[Dusty Slay]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Because we're sucking it down, baby. We love it. Listen, if you work out, if you do that sort of thing, if that's your cup of tea, sure, that's fantastic. But let's. Good for you. Okay? You're out with the boys, you're hungover. You started going from beer to liquor.

[Dusty Slay]

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[H. Foley]

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[Dusty Slay]

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[Kevin Ryan]

Do it. Yeah, yeah. But you know, so that's what I would, you know, I just would just laughing people and then I, you know, I do happy hour. We'd get off work, you know, four.

[Dusty Slay]

Have you been promoted to server yet?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it's. It took about nine months, which was like, people would come and you know when you, when you get hired as a server, you have to run food for three days and you have to host for three days. So people would come in and I would go, oh, you a new food runner? And they go, no, I'm a server. And so I was just getting bypassed because I was a good food runner. Runner. It's hard to find good food.

[H. Foley]

So they wanted to keep you.

[Kevin Ryan]

They don't want to promote you because they're like, well, yeah, sure, dirt bag mentality. Plenty of servers, but we don't get a lot of good food runners.

[H. Foley]

That's true.

[Kevin Ryan]

So I would, I kept getting bypassed. Eventually I made it in. And then, you know, you go to happy hour. I've wrecked, I've wrecked a bike in the daytime many times. Like with a Nokia phone. I'll be on the phone, wreck the bike. The phone goes into a million pieces. You put it back together, call it back. Yeah, indestructible. And then I moved to Folly Beach. So then I would, you know, now drink and drive a lot to Folly Beach. Yeah. It is like you get off work, you go drink and then you get in your car and go home and there's no one to drive you because they're all drunk too.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

There was no Uber, no Lyft. We did have a cab service. But you would, you just had a number and you would call them and you don't know when they're coming. Yeah. All right.

[Dusty Slay]

They're never like overly kind.

[Kevin Ryan]

No. They're so rude. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

It's just like a dispatcher, like, Nah, I'll be 45 minutes on.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. And you're like, well, now I am.

[H. Foley]

Screaming Bible verses at him over the phone.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I got. I did get beat up one time. I should have been beat up regularly. Yeah. But yeah, me too. Because I don't think I'm a fighter, you know, I'm just mouthy. I just really get a little lippy. Yeah. And especially when I'm drinking and I got bigger.

[Dusty Slay]

Mysterious. The 316 says.

[Kevin Ryan]

I did yoga for the first time one day. One morning I got up and I did yoga for the first time at a like a Planet Fitness or something down there in Charleston. Okay. And then I went to work and worked my shift and then went to happy hour. And I was supposed to go on a date with a girl. She stood me up. So we had some sake at a, you know, sushi place. And then tough small town, he's got.

[Dusty Slay]

Jewish guys, people from Ohio and sake.

[H. Foley]

That the first time you had sake?

[Kevin Ryan]

Probably. So it was Charleston was the first time I had had sock. My brother in law makes fun of me for saying that I didn't even know what Chinese food was when I was a kid. But the. So I approved.

[Dusty Slay]

Put that together.

[Kevin Ryan]

He says, but I was a kid, you know.

[H. Foley]

Do you remember the first time you had Chinese food?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't remember. But I do remember that, you know, I really discovered seafood working at Hyman.

[H. Foley]

Right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like, I had only had salmon patties and tuna out of a can prior to. So when I saw my first tuna steak, I was like, you know, in my 20s, I was blown away. I was like, buddy, that ain't done. This is a full fish here.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I think I was too, about. About in my 20s. First time at a tuna Steve steak.

[Dusty Slay]

Late teens.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. And we would have salmon. Like crab cakes, but salmon.

[H. Foley]

No, I gotcha.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then I never really had seen a salmon fish.

[Dusty Slay]

You ever messed with salmon fish? I've never heard it. Salmon.

[H. Foley]

As opposed to a salmon moose.

[Kevin Ryan]

Salmon burger.

[Dusty Slay]

Dan, this one's in the water. How did you mess with imitation crab meat ever?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't think so. Okay. We weren't really doing crab stuff. It's not my. My mom freaks. My mom said my grandfather's favorite food was the salmon patty.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

So we would have that.

[Dusty Slay]

What a weird origin. Pappy loved them.

[H. Foley]

Would you get them frozen?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I guess you get salmon out of a can and then she would kind of.

[H. Foley]

Okay, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, whoa.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

That's worse than. I don't. You release K?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, no.

[Dusty Slay]

Gordon's frozen herself.

[H. Foley]

You get hamburger. You diet red. Back it up.

[Dusty Slay]

That's a land salmon we got.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, no, my mom does a lot of things well, but she is not a cook. She is not a cook.

[Dusty Slay]

Start some fights in office.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Starting trouble again. I'm in a break room microwaving my salmon.

[Kevin Ryan]

Burger. Burger.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

So drinking sake.

[H. Foley]

Girl stand.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. And then. And then we go, you know, we end up at kind of a fratty bar up King Street. It was as far as you could go on King street back then. Now it's like, well, expanded. I mean, it's become a real hot spot. And we were dancing. Dancing.

[Dusty Slay]

She really angle in for the key to the city of Charles. That might have wrecked Quarter Mic.

[Kevin Ryan]

Was that by my hotel and. And Fort Sumner.

[H. Foley]

I know Fort Sumner too.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You ever hang out there?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, a little bit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah, I did go out there. What time? I saw some dolphins when I was out there. You could see them from the. It's great.

[H. Foley]

I went out there.

[Dusty Slay]

That's bad eating.

[H. Foley]

That was. That was so hot out there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it's so hot.

[H. Foley]

I would have gave up in two seconds.

[Kevin Ryan]

So wet heat, they say. Yeah, good.

[Dusty Slay]

Kids are closer.

[H. Foley]

There we go.

[Kevin Ryan]

So. And then we ended up the kind of Spraddy bar. We were dancing with some girls that we didn't know and guys got annoyed.

[Dusty Slay]

Your life is girls you don't know.

[H. Foley]

How are you? How are you dancing?

[Dusty Slay]

I didn't want to ask.

[Kevin Ryan]

Classic late 90s, early 2000s. Grinding up on people that you don't know.

[Dusty Slay]

Just bebop kind of swaying.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not good.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not a good dancer. And guy confronted me. I. I yelled at him. A guy grabbed me from behind. People started kicking me. And on the ground.

[Dusty Slay]

Who leads with kicks?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. I was getting beat up. But then I got out of the bar and I was mostly fine. I could have. I could have just gone home, but I saw two of the guys on the corner and I thought, well, I'll go confront them about this. And then they beat me up on the corner.

[H. Foley]

You showed them, huh?

[Dusty Slay]

Was it. Do you remember this whole process? So were you trying to try to.

[H. Foley]

Get in your mouth and the two of you are gonna kick my ass?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. No, I. I don't know what I was doing. I was just too drunk and I just. My pride was hurt. And I was like, I'm gonna let them know. And they. And then. So both of my eyes were swollen shut. No blood, though. They didn't break the skin.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[Dusty Slay]

That's a weird goal post that.

[Kevin Ryan]

No broken bones, no messed up tea.

[Dusty Slay]

Rough drive home.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. And then that one mostly by feel. And then my boss, that I was. I was also selling pesticides at the same time. I was. I had a job as a. Working for a company selling pesticides. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

While you were waiting tables.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I was doing. It was a seasonal job running.

[Dusty Slay]

He was running.

[Kevin Ryan]

So I was. Yeah, still running. I was doing seven days a week. I was doing four days selling pesticides, three days food running.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

And that's what I was doing.

[Dusty Slay]

Cash, probably. You're doing well.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, was. I was hustling it. Yeah, I was doing what I had.

[H. Foley]

To do and selling the pesticides. You have to go into an office.

[Kevin Ryan]

Went into Lowe's and Home Depot, and we were like sales reps for the company. And my boss was a free sample. A guy. A guy named Stu Barber who used to play NFL with the Buffalo Bills way back. And he was like. He just passed, but he was like late 60s when I worked with him. And he. I remember him selling pesticides. Yeah, he was like, semi retired. Selling pesticide. I don't think they were making sure. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm just curious. You said I wasn't sure if you were on the bills at some point.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, no, no.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

But I remember him making fun of me about it, about the black eyes. He goes, I thought you Alabama guys could fight. And I was just like, well, I guess not. I mean, I don't know. I got. I got beat up.

[Dusty Slay]

But those two guys could fight better.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. Who knows where they were?

[Dusty Slay]

Could have been Ohio.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

But so, you know, and I was living on Folly beach, and I remember I used the driving thing. I was in this gas station. I drove home from downtown and I was at the gas station. I was just loud talking with the cashier the whole time. I thought I was the only guy in there. I'm just loud talking, you know, all throughout the store. Just small talk, but. And then clearly drunk. And then I get to the register and there's a cop standing there. And I go, okay. And then I kind of get it together. And then I go out and get in the car, and the cop comes out and he goes, hey, you can't drive. And I go, yep. My keys aren't in the ignition. You know, give away. I use that line. Yeah, they weren't. But I go, you're right. You know, and then this guy was very nice. I lived a block away, and he helped me push my car into a parking spot and then drove me to my house.

[H. Foley]

Oh, that's nice.

[Dusty Slay]

There you go.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what I'm talking About.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, that's Southern hospitality.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's some early 2000 stuff. Yeah, I don't think that's happening anymore.

[Dusty Slay]

No, I don't think so.

[Kevin Ryan]

And so you can't drive. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

So I said, hey, buddy, I was just inside. You are.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know, officer, but another time, this was. Jesus Christ. I was at Halloween. It was Halloween. I was dressed up, and I was. You know, there was this girl that.

[Dusty Slay]

You dressed up as.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, I don't like to see. Say as I say, I. You know, but I dressed up as kind of like a demon character, and I'm. I live in a lot of shame about it. I don't like that I did it.

[H. Foley]

Why?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's okay.

[H. Foley]

It's all right.

[Dusty Slay]

It was Harry Potter, his source.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't condone this sorcery, but I had.

[H. Foley]

I dressed up as my Jewish roommate, but.

[Kevin Ryan]

Don't tell my mama, but. But we had red paper.

[Dusty Slay]

He barried.

[H. Foley]

I had hair on my chest and everything.

[Dusty Slay]

Guys, it's me.

[Kevin Ryan]

But I had red paint. I painted myself up totally red, you know, and wild swing. Yeah. And there was a girl that I. That I worked with that I kind of had a crush on, but she had a boyfriend. And then she's dressed as.

[Dusty Slay]

She sees me in red.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, she's dressed as, like a schoolgirl. You know, we were always kind of flirty. I felt like she had a thing for me, but she had a boyfriend. And then she tells me at the party that she. They broke up.

[Dusty Slay]

That's prime time.

[Kevin Ryan]

Me and her just start making out, and it is the best. And she's, you know, wearing white, and she has red paint. We come out of this room and, like, she has a red paint all over her face. And it was great. And then we decided, let's get out of here. But we were. But my roommate had drove.

[Dusty Slay]

Get home and wash us off.

[H. Foley]

Your roommate had drove.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right. So we had to get.

[H. Foley]

Is this still the Jewish guy from.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, no. New. New roommate. Total alcoholic roommate. He's my best drinking friend that I ever had. He would. If he could actually tell his story, he would do a great job on this podcast because he. You know, I don't want to call him garbage, but he would. He's been through some stuff.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha.

[Kevin Ryan]

And we just. I had not seen him in about 10 years, and we just hung out at a. When I was back in Charleston, and I was like, wow, you have really been through it.

[Dusty Slay]

Is he still boozing?

[Kevin Ryan]

Rehab jail. He's still boozing. He respect. He likes to tell me I'm not drinking as much. And he. You know, he had four bourbon and Cokes while we were hanging out. That's not that much, which I'm not. I'm not mad at him. But we. When people are like, yeah, I'm not really drinking that much, and you're, like, throwing them back. He pulled up with a mug of his own drink and then had. Had a few, you know, it's like, nah, you're still doing it.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

And it's okay, of course, but you are the judge.

[H. Foley]

Still doing it, by definition.

[Kevin Ryan]

He told me that he got into making meth at some point. And in a trailer, like, air conditioners, you'll have this big vent system. I don't know how to describe it, but it's. It's big. He said he thought the cops were coming to get him, so he took that off and got inside and hid in the vent system for a long time because the cops weren't coming.

[Dusty Slay]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

He was just in there waiting. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so. So this is my. That's my roommate at the time. And we're, like, the best drinking.

[Dusty Slay]

Also, to go back on his scale, he's not really doing it that way. Bourbon and Cokes. He's not hiding the H vac.

[H. Foley]

He's not cooking no more.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's not doing it right.

[H. Foley]

He's not cooking no more, Dusty.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's true. That might as well be a priest. He's on. Yeah. He's. You know, he's gone high, and now he's coming back down. And, you know, this. But me and this guy, we couldn't embarrass each other. And that is what makes a good drinking buddy. To me, it's like, sure, I had friends that I had a buddy. He would always. He would always give me one of these. Like, if I were getting out of control, he'd go, you know. You know, and my. But my other body was like, amp it up. You know what I mean? He's like. We would get kicked out of a bar and laugh our way down to the next bar. It didn't. We didn't care. Yeah. It was a beautiful thing. And he also could fight. So it was really nice to have him on my team because, you know, I wasn't worried about Hellraiser. I'm like this. I can say anything I want. This guy's got me. Or at least he's gonna make the person think that he's got me.

[H. Foley]

Right?

[Kevin Ryan]

And it was beautiful. I loved it.

[Dusty Slay]

Talk about two dirt bags. They did the right Time.

[Kevin Ryan]

End up beating up a guy really bad one time. And then our friendship kind of ended because they got scared and kind of moved out of town. But. But Johnny Cash, this is not me. Okay?

[Dusty Slay]

All right, so now you're, you're dressed as a demon character.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're like, we gotta get. I just want to give you a little backstory on this guy. So it's his car, but he let me drive. What kind of car? That's like a Chevy Corsica Cavalier, something like that. It's a two door. It looked all right. He had a real raggedy car one time and it had a busted windshield. And he go, he got pulled over and the seat belt law had just come in effect. And the cop, cop comes up to this window. My buddy was real cocky and he goes, ah, seat belt, huh? The cops like, well, yeah, that and busted windshield and expired tag, Muffler hanging.

[Dusty Slay]

Off, sparks flying up.

[H. Foley]

You're dragging a deer, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

And he got, his car got towed and he had to call down to the tow company and they go, what kind of car is it? He goes, ah, little piece of shit.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, we got it.

[Kevin Ryan]

And so this was his next car. And we get, we get in the car and we're, we're leaving. And then we were pulling into this neighborhood and there's a bunch of guys out, out in the road. I turned down this road. The girl's in the passenger seat, I'm in the driver's seat.

[H. Foley]

You're taking her where? Back to your place?

[Kevin Ryan]

Back to my place. And. And I'm so excited. And. And I'm driving and there's a bunch of guys in the road. And these guys are like waving to tell me to stop. And I'm like, I don't know what they're up to, but I'm not, I'm not stopping here. I don't know what this is all about. And it turns out I was going the wrong way down a one way street and I met a cop. As I'm going down, me and the cop went around each other on the one way.

[H. Foley]

So I yelled to him, buddy, you're going the wrong way, you dumbass. I got out of town, trimming the.

[Dusty Slay]

Car, dude trying to kill me. I'm the prince of darkness and I'm.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I'm painted red.

[H. Foley]

That's right, you're dressed up like a demon.

[Kevin Ryan]

So I pull over, I take the next turn.

[Dusty Slay]

He's got a schoolgirl covered in red paint. It looks like she's been murdered probably.

[Kevin Ryan]

I turn to the right, I Make the immediate turn to the right, and I go, let's get out. I turn the car off, take the keys out of the ignition. My buddy in the back, he goes.

[Dusty Slay]

He's in the car?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. He's like, I'm staying. And he just laid down in the back. I got the keys. Me and the girl get out. We go walking back down the same street we just came down. We walk for a little bit, and then I go, all right, it's probably good now. So we start walking back to the car. And the cop is sitting right next to our car with his little car light on the car. And we just walk right by. Wow. And they never said anything to us.

[H. Foley]

Nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

And yeah, she lived near there. So we went back to her house, and it was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to her, I think.

[Dusty Slay]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

And she rewarded me and it was.

[H. Foley]

The best with some sweet loving.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was the best, actually. We got her car, and then my friend now doesn't have keys, and he gets out of the car at some point and starts walking. And now we can't find it. Ended up being a. A real we. We drive.

[H. Foley]

Didn't see him in the back seat.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[Dusty Slay]

Not a good cop.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, no.

[Dusty Slay]

He just kind of drove by the devil. Didn't pull him up going the wrong way. Didn't pull him over, then loses him. Then sees the devil walking with a school girl. But it's probably all spooked.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's the old key out of the ignition trick. That's not it. Saved me two times in my life. And. And so we have to go find this my friend. And he. He's on the interstate, on ramp. I'm driving, walking, walking.

[H. Foley]

Where's he going?

[Dusty Slay]

He's doing this. I'm coming in.

[H. Foley]

What's he walking back to your place?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. And then I see him. So I make a U turn, but we're on a one way, so I make a U turn into oncoming traffic. I pick him up and we drive. And then we get into a fight in the car, logically. And then I drop him off, and then we go back to my house. And it's like I had no regrets about the whole thing.

[H. Foley]

Wait, is the girl with you still?

[Kevin Ryan]

She's still with. We're in her car now.

[H. Foley]

Okay, so did you guys go inside, hang out and then go back out.

[Kevin Ryan]

And we just went in her house and got her car and then we went to my place.

[H. Foley]

All right, so this is pre coitus, as they would say.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, yeah. I mean, it built up a lot of.

[H. Foley]

Really hops.

[Kevin Ryan]

Honestly, by the time. Because we had to go find my friend. And by the time we got back to my house, I really thought, well, she's probably over this by now. And I was really disappointed, but she wasn't.

[H. Foley]

Did you wash all that shit off your face?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't. Not right away. I mean, we had, you know, we got to it, and then. Yeah, and then I did wash it, actually. I put some kind of lotion on my face before I put the paint on my face, so it came off my face really good.

[Dusty Slay]

That's pretty good.

[Kevin Ryan]

But my arms, it didn't. So I had to go to work the next day, and I had, like, really red, red arms. I looked sick.

[Dusty Slay]

Down at Fort Sumner.

[Kevin Ryan]

Got sunburned.

[H. Foley]

That she. Crab soup is bad.

[Kevin Ryan]

But, I mean, that's what my whole 20s was. Was basically just one drunken. I black. I would black out a lot, and I would. Would, you know, I would go to happy hour. I'd go to brunch, drink mimosas, and then, you know, at noon, switch to bourbon, and, you know, I'd go throw up outside and come back in. I've done that.

[H. Foley]

Happy hour you were really getting after.

[Dusty Slay]

Now, at this point, I loved it. Are you. Are you. You're making okay money. You know what I mean? You're hustling.

[H. Foley]

Are you doing all right?

[Dusty Slay]

Are you saving or are you just drinking through this?

[H. Foley]

It sounds like he's drinking.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm saving a little bit, but I am mainly drinking. They're drinking through it.

[Dusty Slay]

I said, that's a good time. In your mid-20s?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. It's like, you know, when you're living in Charleston, it's a. It's a tourist destination. It's a beautiful city. You go to these bars at happy hour and the windows are up and you feel the breeze from the sea coming in. You're eating shrimp and oysters and, you know, doing vodka shots, and you're like, this is the life. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Don't get better than that.

[H. Foley]

Clean living.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then you get on your bike and wreck it.

[Dusty Slay]

Or you drive your map, you drive.

[Kevin Ryan]

Out to Folly Beach. This is a thing about drinking and driving that I think people miss. And I don't condone it, but this is what I'm saying.

[Dusty Slay]

I gotta be honest.

[Kevin Ryan]

It sounds like you do when you got a good. Get your keys out of the. You got a good buzz going on, and you're driving and you're going across a marsh and the sun's setting and you're smoking a cigarette. You're like, this is fe. You're listening to one of your favorite songs. You're like, this feels good.

[Dusty Slay]

Good song. Sig going.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, you could do that without the booze.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, now I do do that now, but, man, when did you quit drinking? 2012. So at 29, made it your whole 20's my whole 20s. I drank like that. Even starting comedy, we would go do comedy and then just get wasted after.

[Dusty Slay]

That was starting comedy.

[Kevin Ryan]

We started.

[Dusty Slay]

Philly was like, you're on stage for four minutes and you're drinking for five hours.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, yeah, that was.

[Dusty Slay]

Comedy was like. It was just in the way of the drinking. You'd have a couple beers, then go on stage and then start doing shots.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. And sad. I mean, so much of my life was an attempt to meet girls. Right. So it's like normal comedy was now this thing where I'm like, oh, if I can get up here and be funny now I get something to talk about. Hey, you were the guy. Yeah. And then you can have drinks and people buy you drinks. They go, oh, that was really funny, man. Let me buy you a drink.

[H. Foley]

When you quit, did you quit on your own or did you.

[Kevin Ryan]

I did quit on my own. I had had a guy.

[H. Foley]

I was just Stopped drinking.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Damn.

[Kevin Ryan]

I had a guy living in the same apartment complex as me. Now, this guy was from Boston and he was an alcoholic. And he. He. I don't know. This is what he said. My wife has pointed out that because he said he was taking some time away from his family to, you know, get sober. And so he's there by himself. Yes. But it's like my wife is like, well, don't move to a party city if you're like, I need to get sober.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

But this guy, big Neil Young fan, he had a. He had a boat called Crazy Horse because he moved the.

[Dusty Slay]

He moved to get away from his family, sober up. And he gets a boat. He's temporarily staying in it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think he. I don't know. Either he bought it or he brought it. Okay. But he had. So you can't get sober on a boat.

[Dusty Slay]

If you ever go on a boat, you're drinking.

[H. Foley]

Especially one called the Crazy Oars.

[Kevin Ryan]

But he pulls up to the above apartment complex on the first night. No, that would have been cool.

[H. Foley]

That's it. You know, he's drunk.

[Kevin Ryan]

But he shows up.

[Dusty Slay]

That would have been awesome.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm out on the porch. There's some girls that live in this apartment. I'm hanging out with Them, it's one of these apartments where the apartments, it's three story, they're on either side. And then there's kind of a breezeway in between.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha.

[Kevin Ryan]

So we're out on the breezeway on the balcony of sorts.

[Dusty Slay]

You're a big breezeway guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. And we're. Yeah. Cause I mean, you really feel that ocean breeze through there.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm out on a breezeway, I'm having.

[Kevin Ryan]

A cig and I'm listening to Neil Young. We're jamming Cowgirl in the sand down by the river and we're drinking. This guy shows up who has an alcohol problem and loves Neil Young. And there I am, and I greet this guy, I'm like, come party with us, you know, and, and he does. And me and him end up partying a lot. I don't remember why I brought him up, but. Oh, he gave me. After hanging out with me for a little while, he gave me the big blue book, the Alcoholics Anonymous book.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

He goes, I think you might benefit from this.

[Dusty Slay]

Sounds like, buddy, I think you need it. With a crazy horse. Take a weekend and get some reams.

[H. Foley]

How about I go to Office Depot, I make some copies of this?

[Kevin Ryan]

He did need it, I'll tell you that.

[Dusty Slay]

Anybody that's just walking up sees you standing in the breezeway smoking and steak, listen to Neil Young goes, that's my new best friend. That guy's got. Guy's got problems.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. He was 50, I was 20.

[Dusty Slay]

But this guy from Boston to Charles.

[Kevin Ryan]

I have no idea.

[Dusty Slay]

None of this is.

[Kevin Ryan]

We went out on the boat. I mean, this guy was.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, you were on the crazy one.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, he was in a band. I mean, this guy, he was in.

[H. Foley]

A band down there.

[Kevin Ryan]

In a band? Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

How much? He's too established down there with a boat.

[Kevin Ryan]

And yeah, I mean, it was great. He introduced me to John.

[H. Foley]

You're already the comptroller.

[Dusty Slay]

What? Yeah, he came down two weeks to dry out. Well, listen, I mean, there's a good.

[H. Foley]

Chance this was all some type of delusion or something.

[Kevin Ryan]

There is a good chance.

[Dusty Slay]

Cut. Too dusty. Stuck in the H VAC system.

[Kevin Ryan]

There was a lot of fuzziness. Where on. But I read the book. I did read the Alcoholics Anonymous book. And it, when I read it, I was like, oh, okay. I can see a lot of my stuff in there. In here. Okay. I always felt like, you know, there was. And I don't think of myself as an alcoholic, but I only.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, to each their own. But I, I, I go get those Glasses checked. Go run that two to the optometrist real quick. You and the Crazy Horse. I don't think I got. Also, that guy going, you might benefit from this. The hell's he got it for?

[Kevin Ryan]

But I read it and I go, okay, there's definitely a lot of. Of me in this book. There's the binge drinking thing that I didn't think about, cuz for me, I didn't really feel like I had withdrawals and I was.

[Dusty Slay]

You control it and stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. But the moment I had a drink, then I was like, let. I'm down to do this until I throw up or pass out.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm into this. Yeah. Yeah. I would black out a lot. Or, you know, you just hit a place where your body's still going, but now you're like, no longer in control.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Just having a couple is weird.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. That's what I think. People go, let's go for a couple of beers. And I'm like, why?

[Dusty Slay]

You know, take the weekend.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. If you're having two at the Crazy.

[Dusty Slay]

Horse, Neil Young's in town.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I love. I love partying with this guy. And you know, I got. He got. He let me open for his band one time. Well, I talked him into letting me open for his band and Stand up. Stand up.

[Dusty Slay]

Cover band or doing originals.

[Kevin Ryan]

He was doing originals.

[H. Foley]

Where? In Charleston.

[Kevin Ryan]

In Charleston.

[H. Foley]

Who the was this guy?

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know, but he was not from Boston and had a family.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, he, you know, I don't know where he's from. He did bring his family down eventually, but I think they separated again.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha.

[Dusty Slay]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

So. Okay. But he didn't like the new stuff. Yeah, he let me open for his band and. And then this is Dusty.

[Dusty Slay]

He parties. He's gonna do a little time up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Top, but he wanted the breeze. But it ended up being like two bands that I knew and they were gonna let me go in between.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Tough spot.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was this band and then me. But my friend goes. He goes, since I got you this gig. He goes, I want. Which I could have got it from the other guy, but anyway. He goes, since I got you this gig. He goes, I want you to do this thing for me. I want you to go up and then go, hey, give it up for these guys. They were really good, huh? And then go, how about. How about one more? You know, how about maybe we can get him. Go on. You know, he goes. Get him to chant on. So his band. He was going for his band. Yeah. So he Went. And then I go, I go, that was really great, huh? And I didn't to want. Want to do it, but I'm. I was trying to get stage time, of course. So I go, encore. And nobody's.

[Dusty Slay]

Nobody in the audience, nobody wants an encore.

[Kevin Ryan]

Joining in. And. But I turn around and I see my friend and he's headed back out. And then the guy over the PA goes, He goes, yeah, that's not really how this works. He goes, we gotta set, we gotta break down everything and we gotta change it out. I go, okay. So then I go, well, I'll just do my comedy then. So I start telling jokes. And he goes, yeah, that's not really how this works either. We got to.

[Dusty Slay]

He's over the intercom.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. He's like, we got to shut down all these mics. And so my other friend had a. He goes, you know what? Once they get it all switched out, I'll just let you do, you know, five or ten minutes before me. So all of this. And then I bombed for five or 10 minutes. It's like a lot went into this for me to just bomb for that struggle, but that was the point. I was told, go, you gotta bomb. You gotta learn how to handle it. So you need to get yourself in all situations. Good. So it was good for me.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, of course.

[Kevin Ryan]

But, you know, what a mess.

[Dusty Slay]

Sure. Well, I mean, in the saga of Dusty Slay, we've made it nine.

[Kevin Ryan]

We've made it 10 years. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Which is half of what we made in the first one. So we're, you know, unfortunately, we gotta wrap it up. But you're. We've made it to 29. You're now so burned up. So next time you return, we'll start 30 part three. Till now.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, I appreciate you guys. You guys are so funny. This is just fun for me to do this because you guys make me laugh the whole time.

[Dusty Slay]

Thank you. I mean, you're one of my favorite guests.

[H. Foley]

I can't believe we only made it nine years.

[Dusty Slay]

And also, we made a jump from, like, 25 to 29. Sure. While I was drinking. We've kind of breezed.

[Kevin Ryan]

All the stories become the same, I feel like. But I like the one about the girl because, you know, I, I, the, the ignition trick, I don't know if that's real.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't think you probably can't do it anymore because everything's pushed to start.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right behind the wheel.

[H. Foley]

You're behind the wheel. That's it.

[Dusty Slay]

No, but back in the day, demon.

[H. Foley]

Costume or not.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would sleep in my car sometimes when I would get too drunk and I'd go, I bet I shouldn't drive home now. I've done that. Yeah. And then you go. You get. But I. Yeah, you just kick the seat back, sleep for a bit, wake up, drive home.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Sober up. Well, gang, the special Wet Heat out on Netflix right now. One of our favorites. One of my favorite, one of the best. Dusty Slay. Do you have anything coming up you want the folks out there to know?

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, I just. Just touring. And so dustyslay.com is my tour. I got, you know, I got. Now I got Wet Heat on Netflix. I have Working man, and I got an hour on YouTube. I have a podcast I do called the we're having a Good Time Podcast. So, yeah, that's it. I appreciate you guys. Check out gang.

[H. Foley]

We love you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Keep it.

[H. Foley]

What do you got for him?

[Kevin Ryan]

And. And new. A new hour. So if you watch Wet Heat and then come. It's all new jokes.

[Dusty Slay]

65 minutes.

[H. Foley]

There you go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. There could be 30 seconds of old material here and there.

[Dusty Slay]

You might hear me say, thanks for coming out. How's everybody doing? But how else am I supposed to get into joke? Give it up for the wait staff, huh? Guys, our tour is starting in September. Get those tickets. We're starting with the west coast run. Pacific Northwest and the south and everywhere. Get your tickets. We love you.

[H. Foley]

We'll see you out there, Dusty. We love you.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, ma'. Am.

[Kevin Ryan]

Thank you. You guys are the best.

[H. Foley]

We love you. And we'll see you next week.

[Kevin Ryan]

Peace.