Brian Redban!

Summary

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Are You Garbage? - Brian Redban! (August 10, 2026)

Episode Overview

In this lively, nostalgia-soaked, and deeply comedic episode, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley welcome pioneering podcast producer, comedian, and storied dirtbag Brian Redban (of Joe Rogan Experience and Kill Tony fame) to the Are You Garbage? hot seat. The hosts and Redban riff through his truly one-of-a-kind Midwest upbringing, memories of corporate fast-food perks, family oddities, and Redban’s knack for landing on the cultural cutting edge—while also exposing his particular brand of endearing, high-tech trashiness. The episode is an uproarious examination of class, Americana, and just how “garbage” one can be, even at the vanguard of comedy and technology.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Brian Redban’s Origin Story: Midwest Oddities and Wendy’s Royalty

• Ohio Roots & Family Dynamics (04:44 – 09:51)

  • Born and raised near Columbus, Ohio (“the burbs – Worthington, Dublin, high-end, classy, I guess” [05:05]).
  • Early 80s divorce: “I think my family was one of the first divorces in Columbus, Ohio” [05:28].
  • Moved to one of Columbus’ very first apartment complexes: “I remember on the news, everyone’s like, ‘this is… an apartment?’” [06:11].
  • Redban’s mom worked as an executive secretary for Dave Thomas of Wendy’s: “I got pictures of him dressed up as Santa Claus and I’m a kid sitting on his lap.” [07:15]

• Corporate Childhood Perks (10:11 – 15:15)

  • Access to the Wendy’s test kitchen, unreleased menu items, and legendary Frosty machines at birthday parties.
  • Company perks included meal coupons, summer camps for employees' kids, and flying in small planes to deliver secretive briefcases for Dave Thomas.

“My mom got a job working as an executive secretary for Dave Thomas of Wendy’s.” – Brian Redban [07:05]

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Redban the Prodigy: From Shoplifting to Codemonkey

• Academic Life & Hobbies (13:09 – 13:41; 26:07 – 28:10)

  • Grades suffered due to late-night Letterman/Carson viewings.
  • Excelling only in art classes: “All the art classes, A+. Everything else, Cs, Ds, just barely.” [13:33]

• Early Jobs & Tech Roots (17:07 – 17:19; 34:09 – 34:28)

  • Bagged groceries at Kroger—first job (29:12).
  • Among the very first to study multimedia production/web design at Ohio State; left college after job offers started rolling in: “I was like, one of the few people that knew how to make websites at the time.” [17:07]
  • Before podcasting, reviewed tech and camera gear online, even got equipment from Sony: “Sony would send me cameras and shit.” [62:23]

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Hustler Connections: Lying His Way to the Top

• Nine Inch Nails & Stanhope: Building Opportunity (31:16 – 34:27)

  • Faked a newsletter and credentials to meet Trent Reznor backstage: “I wrote a letter… said I have this newsletter…None of this was true.” [31:47]
  • Used the ruse to gain access to shows, photos, and later transitioned that skillset to work with Doug Stanhope: “Started doing Doug Stanhope’s website; was really good at compressing videos really small so people could download them with a 56k modem—before YouTube.” [34:11]

• Meeting Joe Rogan & Podcast Genesis (34:43 – 35:21)

  • Rogan noticed Redban’s online skills, and recruited him to move to LA full-time: “One day, Joe’s just like, ‘Hey, you want to move to California and work for me full time?’ ” [35:11]

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Modern-Day Redban: Tech-Savvy “Garbage” Millionaire

• Homes, Cars, and Investments (38:12 – 56:38)

  • Owns a McMansion in Austin (“There are rooms we haven’t been in, like, for a year” [46:17]), and a downtown studio apartment for work.
  • Early Austin buyer: House value doubled in six months post-Tesla, “Again, at the forefront of real estate.” [38:38]
  • Off-the-grid tech: “Tesla solar roof… off the grid and free electricity for all my cars… Bill’s like negative $500." [56:00]
  • Garage full of electric vehicles: “I got a Hummer, and I got three Teslas.” [56:36]
  • Rides the electric Hummer (“It does the crab walk!” [54:38])

• Trashy Habits with a High-Tech Twist

  • Owns dozens of plush “Stuffies” as pillows: “Maybe this week I bought three new ones… We have about 25, I would say… One that's like a Pikachu this big. It's great.” [52:41]
  • $13,000 limited edition Pokémon pinball machine: “It’s worth like $20, $22 already, that’s why I got that one.” [46:54]
  • Candy, snacks, Asian snack subscriptions, junk food: “Our house looks like a candy store... We need to cancel these subscriptions, we have so much.” [51:23–51:46]
  • Eats like a teenager: “We Doordash or Uber Eats probably twice a day on average.” [58:59]
  • Multiple bathrooms: “I blow my own up, she blows hers up. Different toilets.” [37:35]
  • Plush dolphin, hot dog, and “a huge Pikachu” as couch pillows [52:17–52:41]

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Highlight Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On Columbus being a Test Market

  “Columbus, Ohio is a test market town. We had Chipotle like 10 years before everyone had Chipotle.” – Brian Redban [47:57]

• On Unique Childhood Connections

  “Bob Hope stepped on my foot and goes, ‘Hey kid, I’m sorry’ and he signed show business, something racist, and walked away.” – Brian Redban [07:44]

• On Deodorant & Shirt Order

  “I’ve learned from many, many years of making mistakes… always put the shirt on first…” – Brian Redban [36:12]

• On Stealing

  “I used to shoplift all the time and I got caught for shoplifting when I was younger. Stealing CDs… Ghostbusters II soundtrack and Paula Abdul.” – Brian Redban [44:04]

• On His Early Internet Hustle

  “I was like Forrest Gump of dirtbags. Mom was the executive assistant to Dave Thomas. He's eating in the test kitchen. He's always at the forefront of something.” – H. Foley [17:20]

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Garbage or Not? Hosts’ Verdict

• Redban is declared “garbage of the future,” a uniquely modern dirtbag combining “sharp guy” tech savviness, a childlike sensibility, and genuine trash DNA: “He’s gone astray at every point.” – Kevin [25:39]
• Foley: “100% trash, but modernized. Already off the grid, technologically advanced.” [63:32]

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Notable Segments and Timestamps

• [07:11] Redban’s mom works for Dave Thomas, Wendy’s founder
• [10:11] Wendy’s test kitchen and legendary Frosty birthday parties
• [13:13] School habits: grades, sleeping late, and art
• [17:07] Leaving college to build websites, “the Internet just came out”
• [31:16] Faking a newsletter to meet Nine Inch Nails backstage
• [34:43] Joe Rogan discovers Redban’s web skills
• [38:12] Austin house boom and Tesla Solar Roof hustle
• [46:47] $13,000 Pokémon pinball machine purchase
• [52:41] Admission of owning “about 25” plush Stuffies
• [56:00] Solar house, negative electric bills, eco-wealth tips

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Recap Table: Brian Redban’s “Garbage Credentials”

| Garbage Trait | Redban’s Level | Supporting Segment | |--------------------------------------------|--------------------|-------------------------------| | Childhood Fast Food Perks | Elite | 07:05 – 15:15 | | Grew Up in New Suburban “Class” Apartment | Yes | 06:11 | | Shoplifting as a Kid | Confessed | 44:04 | | Deodorant-Streaked Shirts | Frequent | 36:12 | | Eats Doordash/Uber Eats Twice a Day | Yes | 58:59 | | Grown Man with 25+ Stuffies | Proud Owner | 52:41 | | Tech Hoarder (pinball, gadgets, cars) | Extreme | 34:09; 46:47; 54:30 | | Unrivaled at Gaming, Candy, Cartoons | Still Active | 47:08; 52:14 | | Multiple Suits/Costume Closet | “Tons of costumes” | 45:47 | | Lives in McMansion + Studio | Absolutely | 46:08; 38:12 | | Off the Grid, Negative Energy Bill | Yes | 56:00 | | “At the Forefront” of Everything | Repeatedly | 38:38; throughout |

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Final Thoughts & Closing

Brian Redban is a walking paradox: a true self-made digital pioneer with a lifelong love of trash culture, fast food, plush collectibles, and candy. His “are you garbage?” assessment is an emphatic YES, but the flavor is distinctly 21st-century—Redban is the “garbage of the future.” At every societal inflection point (from fast food royalty to DIY web design to podcasting mogul), Redban shows it’s possible to be at the technological forefront and still hoard Stuffies and DoorDash fries like a well-funded, lovable man-child.

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For full laughs, origin stories, and tech flexes, this episode is required listening for comedy and podcasting fans—especially if you want to understand the mind of one of comedy’s great unsung architects.

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Notable Credit:

• Sunset Strip Comedy Club
• Redban’s bandcamp (Red7)
• [Numerous tales from the Wendy’s epicenter, the internet’s dawn, and plush doll utopia]

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Transcript

[A]

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RU Garbage.

[B]

Oh yeah, it's that little show.

[A]

We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out if they to be classy. Yeah, just a big old piece of trash.

[B]

Trash, trash, trash, trash.

[C]

I'm your host.

[A]

A trolley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Toady's in a new edition. She put a little clearance yard sale over [e-mail] I heard.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Getting rid of some of the inventory.

[B]

Sure. Gotta move product.

[A]

Slashing prices. Mike Host coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of are you garbage? He is an international businessman and the king of the boards and the king of the burbs. Give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan.

[B]

What up gang? Shout out to you as always. Please make sure you rate view subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube 4 full video over available over there on Spotify. And the boys are climbing the frickin charts. Then obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com Are you garbage? You go over there. We're in the top 10 of comedy

[A]

podcast 16,000 strong over there.

[B]

Love that money, gang.

[A]

We couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time. He is a very funny, very successful stand up comedian, podcast producer and let's just say this, you take a lot of heat, but you are the most successful comedy podcast producer ever.

[C]

Well, thanks.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Joe Rogan experience. Kill Tony. You started Death Squad network and not to throw you in a hot seat quickly, but I have a number written down here I would like to. You don't say anything. Just tell me if I'm around the ballpark. What you got sitting in the bank, more or less?

[C]

Can I say eventually?

[A]

Can I say eventually?

[B]

But we're about there after this week.

[A]

Eventually you're a success, successful man.

[C]

Thanks.

[A]

A little bit of a creep right here. You like that anime stuff?

[C]

Oh, come on. That's my character, Hente.

[B]

Porn or whatever it's called.

[A]

He likes an octopus tentacle. I don't know what you're gonna do. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Brian Redman. Long time coming, my friend.

[C]

Oh my God. I've been wanting to do this for so long.

[B]

We had it in the books once or Twice in Austin. And we had, we had to. We had to schedule a schedule.

[A]

I'm glad you're here though.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Do it at the house.

[A]

Do it in the studio.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Come buy Tuddy's.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Show over there at Madison Square. Gardening.

[C]

Yeah, A couple there.

[A]

Doing two at the Garden.

[C]

Yeah, it's great.

[B]

I've been to the Garden once. Rangers game.

[A]

Oh, wait, we went and saw the first kill Tony over it. He did.

[B]

Was very cool.

[A]

And that was a very eye opening experience to us.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, we will never be there.

[A]

When you guys ran that. You ran the, you know, the through the years kind of thing. And starting in that small room, Comedy Store, 12 years ago or 13 years ago at this point, to the fucking selling at the Garden.

[C]

Yeah, it's very crazy.

[A]

It's very happy for you, you know. We love you.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Let's get into this.

[B]

That being said, I mean, you know, the facts are, I think the fact

[A]

that we should be wearing the stuff that you wear when you go to a Gallagher show. The McDonald's Cafe.

[B]

Coffee with a paper stroll, though, that's

[A]

what they screw you on.

[B]

Oh, is that all they do?

[A]

Yeah, and they got that, they got that heavy, heavy set lady working there. No, they have that high intensity sprite over there. It eats through that thing like it's sulfuric acid.

[C]

So you guys do the paper straws here in New York? No, I mean, not McDonald's. We have the, the original yellow striped ones in Texas.

[A]

You know, the seal skin.

[B]

Yeah, that's also stuck in the 80s.

[C]

Yeah, well, if that's where styrofoam cups live.

[A]

Skyscrapers made of Styrofoam down there.

[B]

What? What? How is that all you got that's light and sweet?

[C]

I mean, I, you know, when I'm in New York, I have to get. You guys have so many great coffee shops, But I saw McDonald's like, is

[B]

that your coffee every day?

[C]

No, no, this, I. I make my own coffees. But this is pretty clear. This is like seafood coffee though, you know, where I don't want the fancy stuff. Sometimes I just want like the chocolate milk for Brian.

[B]

Yeah. What's the order?

[C]

Just at default, you know, just ice.

[B]

Coffee.

[C]

Coffee. It has all the sugar.

[B]

It already comes pre loaded.

[A]

They're defaults, guys.

[B]

You're buying pre rolls.

[A]

Dude, they ask you when I've gotten coffee from McDonald's, I'm like, you don't know vanilla syrup or nothing? They like, they can't understand it.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, no, it's crazy.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

McDonald's just getting a beverage, as we all know. Trash.

[B]

Yeah, that's a tough look, man.

[C]

Brian, give us the backst Cafe.

[B]

First of all, it's not a cafe. There's a homeless guy jerking off in there.

[A]

Remember they tried to kick that. Like you're going to be hanging out there working on a screenplay. Ohio.

[C]

Yeah. So born in Columbus, Ohio.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

The nice part.

[C]

Yeah, the nice. The nice part.

[A]

You were spending time in Cleveland.

[C]

No, Cleveland used to be the best, though. We used to go, wow, Cleveland is where it's cool and everything's. But now, you know, Detroit kind of leaked onto Cleveland and it's scary as fuck.

[B]

Cleveland got a little Detroity.

[A]

Yeah, they seceded.

[C]

Ye.

[B]

Whatever. Detroit has. Contagious.

[C]

Yeah. But no very small hometown. Like, you know, were you in the city or outside? No, we were in the burbs. In the burbs. Worthington, Dublin, which is like, you know, like high end. Classy, I guess. Then our parent, my parents got a divorce, which was like one of the first divorces in Columbus, Ohio, I think. Yeah, we.

[B]

I feel like I've heard you say that before, which is like.

[A]

My mother was stoned.

[B]

Yeah. How old are you? 700 years old.

[A]

Heresy. Burned as a witch.

[C]

Yeah. So like it was literally like. Like no one got divorces at this time.

[A]

How old were you at the time?

[C]

Third grade, whatever that was. Yeah.

[B]

Seven, eight.

[A]

That really you up?

[C]

Yeah. And I'm 52. So this was like early 80s, I think.

[A]

Surprised you're not a stripper.

[B]

Columbus, divorce.

[C]

80s. Yeah.

[A]

That's got porn written all over it.

[C]

See my of guys. No. And like, they didn't even have apartment complexes back then.

[B]

Home on the range. What are you talking?

[A]

No, apartment complex.

[C]

Yeah, they. They. I remember they built this like their first apartment complex. And I remember on the news, everyone's like, this is what, an apartment?

[B]

Everybody's standing there, this ain't gonna last.

[A]

This is where single dads.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Bang. Flight attendants.

[C]

Because divorces were coming out, like, starting. So when I got divorced, my teacher just like. I think it's gonna mess him up, so we better hold him back is what they told me, you know?

[A]

Really?

[C]

Yeah, but that's what they told. That's what they told me.

[B]

I remember making fun of you. This on kill Tony?

[C]

Actually, I think so.

[B]

This all just came back.

[A]

I think you eaten erasers in the back of the class.

[B]

But huffing markers.

[C]

So. Yeah, I.

[B]

So you got held back in third grade?

[C]

Third grade, child. No, I have a younger sister.

[A]

No shit.

[C]

And so we moved to one of that new apartment complex.

[A]

With your mom or your dad? My mom, okay.

[C]

My dad found out he was the one that had all the money, you know, engineering stuff. My mom wasn't a working mom.

[B]

She was a stay at home mom or. So she got a divorce.

[C]

Got a divorce, stayed up apartment. She got a job working as an executive secretary for Dave Thomas of Wendy's.

[A]

Get the fuck out of here.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Wait, actual Dave Thomas?

[C]

I got pictures of him dressed up as Santa Claus and I'm a kid sitting on his lap.

[A]

Are you fucking kidding me? Crack, man. The show's over. Clement's the famous guy. You ever met Dave Thomas, that guy never saw a hammer.

[B]

Because that's one of the questions. Who's the most famous person you met as a kid? It's gotta be Dave Thomas. Come on. Unless you're hanging out with the hamburgers burglar on the weekends.

[C]

Actually, it's not, because the Murfield Golf Tournament was in Columbus, Ohio. And so I met Bob Hope, was one of the first people I met. Sean Connery. Bob. Bob Hope.

[B]

Sean Connery's a golfer.

[C]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

Yeah, he's Scottish.

[C]

John Daly. I met John Daly back in the day. Back a few times, but you met Bob Hope. Bob Hope stepped on my foot and goes, hey, kid, I'm sorry. And he signed show business, something racist and walked away. I did. Yeah. Yeah. But he's. Wait.

[A]

Yeah, hold on a second.

[B]

Dude, we are. Well, first of all, we're moving a million miles an hour.

[A]

I got questions.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What happened to the house that you.

[B]

What does Dave Thomas smell like?

[A]

Onions. It's weird.

[B]

Yeah. Did your dad stay at the house?

[C]

Dad still has. Dad still stays at the house. But what's weird is now looking back, I never asked, why did you get divorced? I never, like, I don't give a shit. I don't care. Looking back, I just thought it was weird that, you know, right when my parents got divorced, my mom immediately had a job as an executive secretary for Dave Thomas. So I'm like, wait, did my mom. Mom cheat on my dad with Dave Thomas? Am I Dave Thomas's kid?

[B]

Well, typically. Cause the dad usually.

[A]

Gold mine. You could.

[B]

The dad meet Wendy.

[A]

Did Jeremy meet Wendy?

[C]

I think I did. Back in the. Cause it used to be a pretty tight company. Like, we used to go to camp, like Wendy's camp, and you know, where all the kids that worked for Wendy's, we all got shipped off to, like, summer camp together.

[A]

Did you work at Wendy's too?

[C]

No. I never worked at Wendy's.

[B]

The kids of the kids.

[A]

That's like Scientology. Everyone's got to work there.

[C]

My mom used.

[B]

Scrubbing the floor.

[C]

My mom used to to always have to do these like, weird things for Dave. Like.

[B]

Like anal.

[C]

No, like, carry like briefcases in. In small airplanes and go to like Chicago and Atlanta and probably like the chili recipe. It was something like that. And I just remember as a kid, I would sit in the back. It was like one of those like. Like propeller.

[B]

You were on the plane?

[C]

Yeah, my mom brought me to this. I don't know where my sister was.

[A]

This is like how they whacked. Yeah, I know.

[C]

And my mom would like buy me like Garfield books. Just like, don't look out the window because it's just like a small, tiny plane. Yeah, yeah. Going. Dropping off briefcases and getting back on the plane and going back to what? Yeah, it was weird shit.

[A]

Were they ever chained or like handcuffed?

[C]

No, it was. But I remember it was like this big like. Like leather briefcase thing that she had to drop off. People would meet at the airport, they would get back on.

[A]

Guy was filled with.

[B]

No, but probably also too. If you're Dave Thomas from like a business. If you got to get something somewhere quick, it's like same day. These are like legal documents that need to be signed or whatever.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Giving him the red band.

[C]

Obviously it was. It was.

[A]

Got ketchup packets taped to his chest.

[C]

But the best part, they had the test kitchen. So as a kid, I would like go to see my mom at work.

[B]

Are you trying to. You're trying to. You're trying to make my best friend jealous here? Is that what you're trying to do?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

We're the same age. You're talking about GI Joe, Transformers Outside you had a, you know, Wendy's test Kitchen in that childhood 50 year old. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. And then so they would like have like. Like a window and they. You choose things that is not released at. And you tested them. They also had, you know, every time they had like a party, they would have like portable Frosty machines that they would bring to parties. And my mom like one. One of my birthdays had the. She got to bring the Frosty machine off my birthday.

[A]

That Frosty back in the day that hit. That hit the fucking market like Thriller. Yeah, everybody was freaking out. Shakes couldn't compare to a Frosty.

[B]

What?

[A]

Eat it with a spoon, then you drink it. Luke.

[B]

Yeah. You can't do that with a milkshake. What?

[A]

None of those thin ones. They do at McDonald's. That's awesome.

[B]

How long did she work there? Did she then.

[C]

She worked there till after. I think after Dave passed. And then magically just stopped working at that place. And then. Yeah. Worked for Red Roof Inns then. She was like a high end.

[B]

She worked at the Red Roof Inn.

[C]

Corporate. No, corporate office. Right.

[A]

Still, those people all got hot jobs. Yeah, that's big structure too. Anybody that work. Anybody that started with those guys that was involved on the ground floor with McDonald's.

[B]

Red Roof Inn is a hot job

[A]

from a corporate standpoint. Hey. I studied hotel restaurant management. Why University?

[B]

For three hours I was on peyote. Wow. Wow.

[A]

So your mom ended up doing well. I'm sorry to cut you.

[C]

Yeah, she. She ended up doing well. Then met a. You know, my stepdad now Who?

[A]

The Burger King?

[C]

He owns a. He was an architect and owns a big architect firm, you know.

[A]

Nice. So you're out of the apartment, so.

[C]

Yeah, we got out of the apartment.

[A]

And did you ever find out why you guys moved out?

[B]

Yeah, cuz typically like the mom stays with the kids.

[A]

That must have been first divorce.

[C]

Yeah. And it sucked because I had to share a bedroom with my sister growing up. It was two years younger than me and we had like the.

[A]

That explains book.

[C]

The book or the. The bookshelves in the middle of the room to separate the rooms.

[B]

You know, respect that. Like. Like a dorm.

[C]

Yeah, it was like a dorm. That's torture.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

How long were you guys in that apartment?

[C]

Ooh, I'd probably say third grade to about fifth grade. And then I ended up. I ended up moving in with my dad in high school, so I switched.

[B]

Was that like beef with like how I'm going to live with dad type thing?

[C]

It was more just like I can't live with three women.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Women, you know, and plus my dad was cooler. Had a bigger house. Yeah. And so. Yeah.

[A]

How'd your sister feel about that?

[C]

She. She loved it. I bet.

[B]

Would it have been the same school?

[C]

Yeah, I stayed this. So I live in a different school district when I lived at my dad's, but I would drive Gotcha to my other.

[A]

So you and your sister were still in the same school? You'd see her on a daily basis?

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Go over to your mom's for dinner, stuff like that.

[C]

Right, right.

[A]

But at your old man's you could probably have a couple of beers.

[C]

Yeah, well, yeah, I could sne to and like that's just.

[B]

Don't. Dads don't care about a high school kid.

[A]

All right, how were the grades in school?

[B]

No, plead the.

[C]

No, I, I slept. I, I watched Johnny Carson every night and, and David Letterman till like three in the morning.

[A]

Right.

[C]

And so that's why I wear hats still to this day because I used to just be the guy that would like sit there like this and sleep while like in school. So my grades sucked.

[A]

What are you, an old baseball pitcher? Yeah, except for Chippy McGraw sleeping in the dugout.

[C]

Yeah, except for art classes. All the art classes. A plus. Like I took every art class. But then everything else, like sees these. This barely.

[A]

Did you take the ASATs or whatever it is out there?

[C]

Yeah, I think so, but I don't even remember. Like I would literally do the thing with the Scantron where you just like

[A]

lottery done in two seconds.

[C]

Huh.

[B]

What were the vacations like growing up?

[A]

Yeah, other than hot drops doing alimony and chow supporting a lot of stuff. Were you guys comfortable in the apartment?

[C]

The apartment was nice. It was brand new. You know, one of the first apartments,

[A]

first apartment building ever.

[C]

Oh, here's, here's something funny. When Diet Coke came out, remember had

[A]

the first Diet Coke.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

We'll get a year on Diet Coke.

[A]

No, I thought that was like 67.

[C]

No, really, really.

[B]

This is the first time it's just getting to Columbus and he thinks, yeah,

[C]

I'm guessing like 84, 83.

[B]

July 8, 1982.

[A]

Get the out of here.

[C]

So when Diet Coke came out, the

[B]

smartest person I know, they used to

[A]

definitely most well connecting.

[C]

They used to have like a red roof in plastic bag and they had Diet Coke. Caffeine free Diet Coke and Coke they put on everybody in the apartment's door handle to advertise, get you hooked. They get you hooked.

[B]

It's poor bastards hooked. I went like when they give out free menthol cigarettes.

[C]

Every single apartment stole those. And my mom came home and opened the refrigerator just packed of Diet Coke and she's like, brian, where'd you get that? And she was like, cool, you know, go get their phone, I'll tell Dave about it. But yes.

[A]

Would you have to pay when you go to Wendy's?

[C]

No, no, no. We had stacks of like meal coupons. I actually have a few of them still.

[A]

You fuck with the salad bar back then.

[C]

Back then, it was the best salad.

[A]

It was the best, some of the best spaghetti I ever had in my life. I swear to God, I'll take that to the grave.

[C]

And Wendy's, because the corporate office was there. They also had their, all their off brands like Sisters, Chicken and biscuits. Do you know what that is? That was their version of kfc.

[A]

Dave's Cat House.

[C]

Yeah, it was kfc. But sisters, it was. Was Wendy's version of KFC racks. Do you know what rax is? That was Wendy's version of Arby's racks. Actually did pretty well. And there's a couple racks still around

[B]

if you wanted to rac.

[C]

Like rax.

[B]

Rax. Let's. Sisters, let's get this.

[A]

Still banging.

[C]

No, that went out of business. Rex.

[B]

One piece white meat, $79. Who can't stay in business with those prices?

[A]

They used to have to sell that so hard. And let you know, white meat. Premium white meat. Me, I like a thigh. A thigh, man. Crispy thigh.

[C]

Yeah. So we got all these different versions of restaurants.

[A]

We got to ch who owns Wendy's now.

[C]

It's still the same company. It's just. It's private equity. Yeah, I think so. I don't think it's. I think it's still in the same family.

[A]

Did you go to Dave Thomas's funeral?

[C]

No, I didn't.

[A]

Did your mom?

[C]

Probably. Yeah.

[A]

Red dress, crying in the back.

[B]

Dyed her hair red for it.

[C]

Showing her double. Double. No, but yeah.

[A]

No college?

[C]

No, I went to college.

[A]

Really?

[C]

I went to community college, Columbus State. Then I started going to Ohio State, but I went.

[A]

Get the out of here.

[B]

Satellite campus.

[C]

Huh?

[B]

You go to the main campus?

[C]

Yeah, main campus.

[A]

You did.

[C]

But. But like, literally quarterback. Literally one whatever semester, whatever. Because one semester, because I was doing what they called multimedia production and design, which was the Internet just came out and we don't know what to call this, but we need people to know how to make websites and stuff.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

So I was like the first time they ever offered this class to learn how to make websites.

[A]

Really?

[C]

And by the time I got to Ohio State, I was already getting offered all these jobs from companies because I was like, one of the few people that knew how to make websites at the time. So I just quit that and I had like a real job.

[A]

People's doors.

[B]

I've said this before, but you truly. You're like Forrest Gump of dirt bags. Mom was the executive assistant to Dave Thomas. He's eating in the test kitchen.

[A]

So you saw him on a regular basis?

[C]

Yeah, like all the company picking parties and stuff? Yeah, back then. Yeah.

[A]

Huh.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Hey, Brian.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Are you calling?

[C]

I don't even. Like. I mean, I was young as fudge, but. But back then, yeah, I remember seeing him all. Especially the Christmas ones and stuff.

[A]

Damn, I loved Him.

[C]

Yeah, me too.

[A]

He's great.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Running the company. He's doing the commercials.

[B]

What was the best thing out of the test kitchen that you tried?

[C]

I don't remember. But I do remember. I think it was like they had

[A]

to take a run at a Big Mac before.

[C]

It was Baconator. It was something else. It was like big Bacon something.

[A]

Oh, you're talking about the big Bacon Classic.

[C]

Classic, yes.

[A]

That was fantastic. So a little bit different than the Baconator.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It had lettuce and tomato.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Never mind.

[C]

Big Bacon class.

[B]

I didn't say anything.

[A]

I love the big bacon. Yeah, Bacon is pretty good too.

[C]

Yeah. Then it became like, I think the Baconator.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Huh. That's fascinating stuff. Did you ask about the vacation?

[C]

Oh, vacations. So I. Oh, the Baconator.

[B]

The Big bacon Classic. To me, talking wacky, wild stuff.

[C]

So we always went to, you know, Midwest Florida, which was Myrtle Beach. Like, you guys probably used to go to Myrtle Beach a lot, I'm guessing. No, never.

[B]

We never made it that south. We stopped at it was Jersey. And then every now and then.

[A]

I like how you I stature to make yourself feel better. Yeah. You guys know what I mean.

[B]

You guys are probably huge losers too, right?

[C]

Well, everyone in Ohio would go to Myrtle beach because it was like a version of Florida, but it was closer, but then Florida without all the hustle and bustle. Yeah.

[A]

When I go to Myrtle beach next

[C]

weekend, when I moved in with my dad, I lived in like a rich neighborhood and one of my best friends, his parents would take us to cool vacations because his dad was the president of nationwide insurance.

[B]

Whoa.

[C]

Still is, I think.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

But. So he would take us to like, Kiawah island in like.

[B]

What's Kiwa Island?

[C]

It's like a gulf island outside of the Carolinas. And it's so awesome though.

[A]

You ever go to put in Bay? Yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah, Put in Bay. Used to go there once a year.

[A]

Shout out to it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Brian Redband was the friend that went on vacation with the other tough.

[B]

That's a tough characteristic to have growing up.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You probably fit it very well.

[C]

It was weird because they would have to buy me presents also when they. You know what I mean? Like, what do you mean? Like when you're on vacation with your kid, you know, you'd be like, hey, honey, you wanna be a teddy bear?

[B]

Or whatever.

[C]

Yeah. So they would have to double buy

[B]

with a big lollipop and a propeller. Thanks so much, Mr. Jenkins.

[A]

I'm sure your dad would give the money or something. Would they pay your airfare?

[C]

They paid, yeah. They paid everything. It was great.

[B]

That's like two rich guys.

[A]

You got it. Yeah.

[B]

You get this one, I'll get the next one type thing.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

They were loaded.

[A]

Kevin's talking about Warby Parker.

[B]

Warby Parker.

[A]

Big, big fan. As you know, I'm a Warby guy.

[B]

I know that.

[A]

Contacts, eyeglasses, I'm into it all.

[B]

Don't shut up about them.

[A]

No. You could do the virtual on the website, try on stuff. And the good thing that they have that the other places don't have is some places you go to, they got style. Prices are out of control. Some places you go to, they got good pricing, but the styles are you looking at. 7th grade math teacher Warby Parker has at all. Do yourself a favor. Contacts, eyeglasses, sunglasses. Go to Warby Parker. Get yourself straightened out.

[B]

I gotta be honest with you too. I. They got the. They got the locations. You go in there to get everything brick and mortar. They got everything. It gets done in one thing. You find a doctor, book an appointment. You take you to figure out how to take your. Everything is done in house over there at Warby Parker. I walked by one at a mall. I was in a mall. I hang out in mall. I walked by one of the mall packed. That place was jumping. People getting in, trying on bada Bing. They were serving them up, moving them out like they were giving out free turkey. Of course, guys. Warby Parker. Right now, you buy one pair of glasses, get 20% off an additional pair at warbyparker.com garbage at 20% off any additional pairs when you purchase one pair at warby w a r b y parker.com garbage do it. We're talking about DraftKings, baby. Fight Night is here and DraftKings has you covered. The DraftKings sports app is now available in all 50 states. You're in on the excitement at the speed of sports.

[A]

New DraftKings customers. Customers sign up with code AYG. Spend five bucks to get 150 in rewards within 14 days. Includes all markets. That's code AYG in partnership with DraftKings. The crown is yours. Bet with DK Sportsbook gambling problem call 1-800- GAMBLER-1-800, Myreset Connecticut call 888-78-9777. Visit CC PG.org on behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass through. May apply in Illinois, 21 plus void in Canada. Event contact trading with DraftKings. Predictions involves risk and loss. Availability varies. Predictions Offer void in New York. Bet to get bonus bets that expire in seven days. Trade to get predictions dollars that expire in one year. $50 in rewards issued every seven days via click to claim for 14 days. One non withdrawable reward redeemable nationwide based on sportsbook predictions and free to play sports contest available varies by state terms at dkng.co offer limited time offer draftkings. Do it. Any summer camp other than the Wendy's burger?

[C]

No, just the. Just the Wendy's summer camps. And what would you do there? Well, a lot of times it was at the Columbus Zoo, which is like

[A]

the day camp or did you sleep there?

[C]

Slept there at the zoo. And this. I don't know if you know Jack Hannah.

[B]

That's not a camp.

[A]

Do I know Jack?

[B]

Jack Hannah was there.

[C]

Yeah, he was our camp counselor.

[A]

Shut the fuck up.

[C]

He would like. He would be. We would all be like. Like, got her sleeping bags in like the Reptilian building or something. And he would come out with like a baby.

[B]

Is he based out of Columbus?

[C]

Yeah, that's his zoo.

[A]

Told you. Ohio's sweet dog.

[B]

I thought. I thought that was Jack Hannah doing a corporate. They're like, hey, Dave, Thomas wants you to come in. We're gonna give you 50 grand. Talk to these kids.

[A]

Well, yeah, it's connected with Thomas. Yeah.

[C]

We got the Lex Wexner. Victoria's Secret.

[B]

He's a bad guy, right?

[A]

Who's Lex Wechner?

[C]

He's on the list. He's.

[B]

So that's how. That's how Epstein got all this cash.

[A]

So he would come.

[C]

Well, he lived there and he built a zoo. No, no, I'm just saying, in Columbus.

[A]

Freak.

[C]

But at the mall, you would see him all the time and he would have just like five hot women with him. In the mall, it was always so nice.

[A]

Was he boys with Dave Thomas?

[C]

No, no. I'm just saying that he lived in Columbus also. Like, Columbus is crazy. Like the secrets.

[B]

What was the name of the high school you went to?

[C]

I went to Worthington Kilbourne High School.

[A]

Yeah, Worthington Kilborn, man. Yeah.

[B]

Let's see if he's on the notable alumni.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

He might be on the notable alum of Columbus.

[C]

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Dave Thomas. Jack Hannah. That freak. He was talking about Brian Redbank.

[C]

Guys, me and young James and his crew, his flunkies.

[A]

Jack Hannah could take a week off of work.

[B]

Go do that work.

[C]

No, he's at work. That's where he.

[A]

Oh, he was based out of the Columbus.

[C]

Jesus Christ.

[A]

How do they not have a fucking professional?

[B]

He just wrote Columbus and spelled it wrong. It's not spelled with a K. What

[A]

do you got, Luke?

[B]

Not an alumni tragedy.

[C]

Are you using my Red and Ban last name?

[A]

I just did.

[C]

I just did.

[A]

I'm not.

[B]

I never thought that was. Obviously it's not now that I think I'm not seeing a Brian. What's his government name is.

[C]

It's Rico. R E I C H L E. Reichler. Reichel.

[A]

Reichel. Yeah.

[C]

Like Third Reich.

[B]

You got it. No, Third Reichel didn't make it either. Damn.

[A]

Red Band's your showbiz name?

[C]

Yeah, that was actually my AOL screen name. And then Rogan.

[B]

That was your AOL screen name?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Just you. There were no numbers. You were just Red Band.

[C]

I was Red Band 420.

[B]

Of course, dude, you are a born dirtbag. But he's connected, dude, but. I know, but he had. Dude, he's had every opportunity. The rich dad, the nice neighborhood, and he's. He's gone astray at every fucking point.

[A]

Point.

[C]

Well, what's crazy is my dad, his side of the family was the. The dirt balls, the poor side. And my mom was the rich side. Like, my mom's. My grandpa on my mom's side, President of Ford Tractor. You know, World War II.

[A]

Oh, you know, one bedroom.

[C]

Huh? I don't know that.

[B]

Ford tractor. Money.

[C]

Yeah, but my stepbrother on my dad's side, you know, he owned a CB shop.

[A]

You know, like stepbrother on your dad's side. Yeah, but your dad had.

[C]

Dad had multiple marriages before your mom. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, man.

[C]

Yeah, multiple marriages.

[A]

How many step brothers, sisters do you have?

[C]

I have a stepbrother, stepsister.

[A]

Different moms?

[C]

No, same mom. Yeah.

[A]

What, dad married now?

[C]

Yeah, but he's been married after my mom. He. He's been married since.

[B]

That's pretty good.

[A]

Kids?

[C]

No.

[A]

What did she do?

[C]

She was an executive secretary for aep. American Electric Power.

[B]

Dad's got a Tony.

[A]

What the hell's going on?

[B]

He got a girl with a bonnet and a fucking.

[A]

You're on some type of inside. I don't know what it is.

[B]

That's wild.

[A]

It's like the Dollar Tree Illuminati.

[B]

It is also the way, if you think about it, he's been this his whole life.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

He's at the forefront of podcasting, Forefront of the Internet.

[A]

Forefront of the Internet, Forefront of fucking the test kitchen at Win.

[B]

This is what I'm saying. He's been fucking. He's been at the. He's been at the highest coincidence.

[A]

Mr. Red Band.

[C]

Oh, I agree. I agree. It's weir. That's weird.

[B]

I don't know. I keep falling into this.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Wow. Okay.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Huh. What was the first car?

[C]

Renault Alliance. You had a Renault 1984. Renault Alliance.

[A]

That's weird.

[C]

Well, who the has that?

[B]

It was the prototype.

[A]

That was the car you would see. That was like seeing a Peugeot on the street.

[C]

Yeah. Well, it was my. It was my cousins and she. My mom's side. And it was like all wrecked up and stuff. My dad bought it for a dollar for tax reasons or stuff. But he. He used that car to teach me because I.

[A]

He.

[C]

He's an engineer, so he made me always change my alternator, clutch.

[B]

That's pretty good.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you know how to do that stuff?

[C]

Yeah. Well, I. I could probably do it now, it's been so long, but he showed me how to do body putty and redo that.

[B]

So that was like a project.

[C]

That's pretty cool. Yeah. You looked at the Renault Lions after like a year, it looked like a brand new car.

[B]

That's pretty cool.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That's all right.

[A]

I remember they would turn on and like, rattle.

[C]

Yeah, they were. That's odd. Yeah.

[A]

Where'd you get parts for that?

[C]

Junkyard. We used to go to the junkyard and like pull it from other cars and. And stuff like that. And I respect it. Yeah.

[B]

Huh. What was the first concert you remember going to?

[C]

Pointer Sisters. Ohio State Fair. Right. When that song Jump came out.

[B]

Holy. At the fair.

[A]

Was anybody famous in that? Was. It wasn't like not Diana Ross, but somebody like that in the Pointer Sisters. And then launched a career after that?

[B]

I don't.

[A]

Or were they on their own?

[C]

I think they're still the Pointers.

[A]

Did they do the Neutron Dance for Beverly Hills Cop? I'm just burning. Know anything about that, young man?

[B]

No.

[C]

Gosh, you're missing out, man.

[A]

You won't miss it much.

[B]

I think. I think I'll manage.

[A]

Interesting lineage. Yeah. Of the Reichel family.

[B]

What was the supermarket they were shopping at Kroger.

[C]

And I respect a Kroger. Yeah. That was my first job, was a bagger, Kroger and stuff like that. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You just won Kevin's heart. Shut up about his time at Acme.

[B]

Somebody's clearly out.

[A]

Banana. How many? What's the code for bananas?

[C]

The code for bananas.

[B]

Obviously it's 4011.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

What was the snack situation?

[B]

You're gonna embarrass me if they let me show off my produce. Code knowledge that just backfired in your face. Grapes. 4, 0, 8 8. We don't care. Red vine, tomatoes.

[A]

Nobody knows if that's true.

[B]

Check it.

[C]

You can.

[A]

You could Google what the fuck the Baconator was. If it was the Baconator, I guarantee I'm right on that and other facts

[B]

that I've said that I may or may not have alluded to. Okay, listen, we got to put our beefs aside.

[A]

Mr. Brian Redbitt, dirt ball through and through.

[B]

I know, but it's odd. He's a specific type of fucking. How old were you when you got your passport?

[A]

Ooh, young, probably.

[C]

No, I. I think the first time I got my passport was because I worked with Joe and I had to go to Canada or something. Yeah, so it was like. Yeah, I was probably like, 35.

[B]

Wow, that's not great.

[A]

Is that. When did you start working for Joe?

[C]

30. When I was 30 years old. So 22 years ago, when did the

[A]

podcast blow up and start making a bunch of money?

[C]

We didn't start the podcast till, see. Well, I did that Carl's Mencia video.

[B]

Right.

[C]

That was 2007.

[B]

And I think going back around is making the rounds again.

[C]

Yeah, 2000. Around 2010 is when we started. And it blew up within, like, the first month of doing it. It was. It was originally. We weren't even going to do it as a podcast. We're just doing. Doing it as like a. Like a YouTube live stream type thing. And then people are like, I want to listen to it at work. So then I just took the audio out of those streams and just started throwing it up as a podcast again.

[A]

The four.

[B]

The forefront. That's what I'm saying.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

This guy's. This guy's tapped in, or he's. He's like a Manchurian Candidate. He's operating, and he don't know why.

[A]

Red Band might be either from the future or an alien. We're not sure.

[C]

Did you hear how I even met Joe? I did a quick version of this. This is scumbaggy as hell.

[B]

Respect.

[C]

In college, my favorite band was Nine Snails. And this before Internet, there was no Internet. And I just remember, I was like, Sherman went in. I looked on the back, and I noticed that his publisher was in Cleveland. And I was like, oh, my God, you know, I might write a letter. So I worked at a music store at the time, and I wrote a letter to the address on the back of the cd and I go, hey, my name's Brian, or I work at this record store, and I Have this newsletter and I give it out, you know, all the time. And I'm.

[B]

Any of this true? Is that true?

[C]

No, it wasn't true.

[B]

But I work.

[C]

But. But I was like, I would love to be able to do an interview for my now snail newsletter. I call it Ninhead instead of Deadhead. And then they actually wrote me back or called me back and they go, yeah, send us a copy. We'd love to see it. And I was like, oh. So then I went to the library, had all these magazines of like, trans. And I just wrote out and copied paste. Had fake letters to the editor that I wrote myself, you know, and stuff. Put this whole like 10 page newsletter. Yeah. It said to my 10 page newsletter, all Xerox copied. They were like, we love it. Any show you want backstage, anything like Marilyn Manson, anything on the record label, you. You can go. So then I just start going to nine snail concerts and just hanging out with Trent Reznor in the back and had my camera and got to talk. You know Trent Reznor back then I. Yeah, he would interact. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[A]

He was almost famous.

[B]

You what?

[C]

I have photos of him when I was a kid. If you type in like compromising Brian. Brian Reisner on Trent Reznor, you can see like a picture of me wearing a Stussy hat.

[B]

Shout out to Stussy. That was a great brand.

[A]

How old were you at the time doing this?

[C]

19.

[A]

No shit?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like almost famous, right?

[C]

So then I started doing that for other bands and then I started doing it for Doug Stanhope because I got

[B]

into Shout out to Doug Stanhope.

[A]

You weren't still writing the fake newsletter, were you?

[C]

No, I had to do that once.

[A]

Never got busted for that.

[C]

No, I only had no one checked up on me.

[A]

Did you ever be like, yeah, I'm canceling the newsletter. I'm just going to focus on my photography.

[C]

No, I just would take photos. I would be in the front row before the front row and just sitting up there, like taking photos in between

[B]

the stage and the gate. Yeah.

[C]

Where the security.

[B]

I was there one time for. For a band. It was the coolest I've ever. It was the band the Menzingers. That kid came up, he goes, you're a comedian? And I was with my. My now wife. And I was like. I had a cool new jacket on too. Remember that cool denim jacket? Yeah. The coolest I ever been was for one second.

[A]

I gotta shake it down for a couple of ticks of the show. By the way, they're coming to Cleveland.

[B]

What show?

[A]

Menzinger's. Okay.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Go see them in Cleveland or in Brooklyn.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Now what?

[B]

This feels like an all fair conversation. Hey.

[A]

As Dave Thomas, Red Band's coming with me. He's taking photos, if anybody has, for writing a newsletter.

[C]

So when I got into comedy, I knew how to make websites and stuff, so I started doing Doug Stanhope's website.

[B]

How'd you meet Doug?

[C]

I just reached out to Doug. I think email at the time. I also used to talk to Louis CK back in the day in email. But you're that guy. Yeah.

[A]

You're the guy that wrote Gary Shailing the letter.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then went and got to meet him and.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So then I started doing all this stuff for Doug and making videos before there was YouTube, so. And the Internet was slow, but I was really good at compressing videos really small so that you can go on their website. And with that 56k modem, it would load up and play a video before YouTube.

[A]

And how would you do this?

[C]

I just press it because I was. Remember I went to college. One of the first college guys or that, you know, I knew I was a nerd back then.

[A]

You can write code and all that stuff.

[B]

That was cool guy you see before

[A]

us with the McCafe cheers.

[C]

And then Joe saw it. Joe saw it and started.

[B]

Mr. Rogan saw it on Doug's.

[A]

So you really did put a lot of these pieces in place. For everything that you see in front

[B]

of you, he wouldn't be here.

[A]

No, we wouldn't.

[B]

You're not getting a share of this.

[A]

And you know what everybody always says? Write a letter. I wrote a letter to fucking Big League Chew, thinking they would send me a bunch of stuff. And they never fucking responded to me.

[B]

Hey. Dear dickheads, I love you gum. Wow, that's crazy.

[C]

So then I. Joe started doing shit for Joe. And then one day, Joe just like, hey, you want to move to California and work for me full time? And like. Yeah. And that's how it all.

[B]

What the frig?

[A]

Wow, that's. That's pretty crazy.

[B]

I mean, but also at heart, you lied. You faked the resume. You cheated. You made a fake Nine Inch Nails publication to get in there. Yeah, that's all right.

[A]

It's on his resume. The guy's like, you know, Dave Thomas. Okay. The only thing that's true. Swear to God, to picture him in a Santa Claus outfit.

[B]

Jack, Anna's holding the money. These are my boys. Okay.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

Now let's get into Today and the general human behavior of Mr. Redman, which this could go surprisingly, or it could go the way of the McCafe.

[B]

I got. I got. I got one we haven't touched on in a while. Nice, easy start. Off, off. When you're putting deodorant on, do you put the shirt on then deodorant or the deodorant, then the shirt?

[C]

I've learned from many, many years of making mistakes and forgetting to always put the shirt on first because I don't know how many times I've looked down and I see the bigger guy, you know, it's tough.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I just thought you saw was just cash. Take it easy.

[C]

I hate that.

[A]

That's the worst, man.

[B]

Yeah, I did it. We were. We. I did it. When we were to selling merch, we put it on to take pictures of and someone's like, dude, those shirts go with the deodorant stage. Got me dead to rights. It's embarrassing.

[C]

It's so embarrassing.

[A]

This is the thing that I don't get about it. We've talked about this a lot. I've never really used the antiperspirant deodorant. I'm always a deodorant guy. And I never get the white shit.

[C]

Really.

[A]

I always get the. I get the clear. You know, the, the. The whatever. The rubber ball looking stuff.

[B]

Yeah, I don't know.

[A]

Huh.

[B]

Different. I don't know. But that's still.

[C]

Yeah, I like the Old Spice, like the. All the fun wolf ones and stuff that smell like Pez.

[B]

Wait, W1.

[C]

Yeah, they have like Old Spice has like this whole line like, I think I'm wearing Superman, but they Super Mario.

[B]

No, Superman body.

[C]

And it just smells like candy. I love it.

[B]

Oh, yeah, man. You're a dirt bag. That stuff.

[C]

That's the one I'm wearing that Superman one. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

You have the. What are you using? Body wash, man.

[A]

You are Old Spice.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I assume you guys have different setups.

[B]

Uses monster.

[A]

You guys have different shit. You have multiple showers in your place, right?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, but we. We use the same shower but different bathrooms. I blow my own up, she blows hers up.

[A]

Gotcha. Different toilets.

[C]

Yeah. Different toilets.

[A]

Yeah. You do? Well, of course. What kind of toothbrush are you working with?

[C]

I just got a new sonic care one.

[A]

Okay, this is the question. Have you ever used an electric toothbrush when it wasn't charged and just brushed?

[C]

Absolutely. Of course.

[B]

That feels ungodly when you do that.

[A]

Figured on that. Are all the screens in your home in Town scream.

[C]

Oh, they are, actually. They are. Which is because you know what I learned? You just never take them out.

[B]

Yeah, it's probably the best bag. You never touch them. Yeah.

[A]

And without getting too personal, what is the property situation? You guys? You still have the apartment downtown in Austin?

[C]

Yeah, that's my studio.

[A]

Do you own that or rent that?

[C]

I rent that.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

But that's just, you know, you know, do podcasts and stuff.

[A]

Right. And then you guys own the house.

[C]

Own the house. Bought it right when I moved to Austin.

[A]

Right.

[C]

And then literally a month after buying it, Elon Musk goes moving Tesla to Austin. All these companies started saying that house doubled in price in like six months.

[A]

Again at the forefront of real estate, at the forefront.

[B]

He was there before Musk. Forefront before Eroy Smith is the great Joey.

[A]

Forefront of comedy podcasting. Then right at the forefront of the Austin comedy scene. Pretty wild. Pretty suspicious.

[C]

It is suspicious.

[A]

Which some.

[B]

This guy's an industry plant dude.

[A]

Which some ancient astronauts theorist would suggest. Kevin, talking about factor. Factor.

[B]

Factor, Factor.

[A]

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[B]

ingredients, every Factor meal is designed around what supports a healthier lifestyle and nothing that doesn't. Mm.

[A]

With over a hundred banned ingredients.

[B]

Yeah, they're banning ingredients. Going, this, this, don't take this, don't cut the this, don't cut the turkey. This is bad for you. We're getting it out. They don't want it. Get it out of our kitchen. I don't even want to. I don't care where. You got to get it out of here.

[A]

Look at these guys.

[B]

Listen, we've been with factor for a long time since jump. I found factor before the. Before they were a sponsor. You get in, listen, it takes the chaos out. It takes the. You talk about food noise. I'm thinking about this and think about that. It takes it out. You go, I got something good at home. I can throw it in. I'll be eating in two minutes. Even if I want to get takeout, that's going to take 25, 30 minutes. Two minutes. I'm eating. It's the path of least resistance. A lot of time for me personally. That's all I know. And right now, let's eat real head to factor meals.com garbage. 50 off and use the code garbage 50 off to get 50% off off and one free breakfast item per box for one year while supplies last until 1031 26. That's code garbage 50 off at factor meals.com. garbage 50 off at factor meals.com. see website for details. Do it.

[A]

Do it. Okay, let's talk about Chime, baby Chime. Let's talk about a new way to do banking. New banking for the new generation. We're not talking about old ATM fees and banking fees and this and that. Do yourself a favor. You want to be hip, you don't want to be unk. Get on Chime.

[B]

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[A]

Do it.

[B]

What's the. We got a pool at the house?

[C]

No, we got a hose. I was told by many people that pools are way too expensive and they're money dumps. You're just going to be constantly spending money and the neighborhood.

[A]

You're talking old guys at a barbershop. Live your life. Get a pool. What are you nuts?

[C]

But the neighborhood that we live in, we have private. Like. Like multiple private huge lap pools, community pools. But it's only for our neighborhood and it's not that big of a neighborhood.

[B]

So that's pretty good.

[C]

Yeah, it's nice.

[B]

Trashy, but all right.

[C]

It's brand new. New too.

[A]

That's brand new.

[B]

That heat was the first pool in Austin.

[A]

That heat with a backyard. No pool.

[C]

I'd. Yeah, I just stand inside. Yeah, but the downtown place I suppose too.

[B]

Right. Joey was telling us.

[C]

Oh yeah, he's moving in with.

[B]

He's moving in. I'm moving in with Brian Redband.

[A]

Oh, that's right. That's right. Got a pool.

[B]

I gotta have red Band Aid. I go down, smoke a joint.

[C]

Red band.

[A]

That's gonna be fun.

[C]

It's gonna be great.

[A]

He's gonna be staying there?

[C]

Yeah, once, one week.

[A]

At the house?

[C]

Yeah, one week every month he's gonna be there and stuff like that.

[A]

Will you guys do some sleepovers there?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Rub my feet.

[B]

Let's watch a movie.

[C]

He's gonna get kicked out so fast for smoking by the.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Do you remember the name of the first strip club you went to?

[C]

Yeah. It is the Living Room. Dayton, Ohio.

[B]

My living room.

[C]

Oh, the Living Room. Well, it started off. I don't know if this is true. It started off. It was actually someone's living room and they just. It got so popular. Just start building off on it.

[B]

Look at that photo. That is a classic.

[C]

It got destroyed by a tornado. It's. No, no, it's not around anymore. It's got. Destroyed by a tornado. Oh, but that's the girl's holding onto the pole.

[A]

Sounds biblical.

[C]

Yeah. That place was dirty, though. That, like.

[B]

Oh, you don't say.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You ever donate money to a megachurch?

[C]

No.

[B]

Do you know how to tie a tie?

[C]

Yes. I was a Boy Scout. Boy Scout or an Eagle Scout? Yeah.

[A]

Huh. When's the last time you stole something?

[C]

Ooh, I mean, like shoplifting style or steel stuff. What's the difference, you know? Like, what are you stealing? Stealing, like IP addresses, you know, from China and stuff.

[A]

But so you can do all that stuff.

[B]

That's how he got her. Okay.

[C]

It's been a while. It's been a while.

[B]

I used to.

[C]

I mean, I. I used to shoplift all the time and I got caught for shoplifting when I was younger. Stealing CDs.

[B]

Everybody got caught.

[A]

Did you get sat down with Dave Thomas and a stern heart to heart conversation with you?

[C]

I would have loved that Ghostbusters 2 soundtrack and Paula Abdul. Those were the CDs. I got caught. I respect it, but no, I haven't. I don't even remember the last time.

[B]

Picture him in jail. What are you in here for, Paula Abdul?

[C]

I don't remember the last time I stole, but I steal.

[A]

So you're not the airport steel guy?

[C]

No.

[A]

Like Ari Shaffer and the likes of the other.

[C]

Oh, no, Joey. Joey Diaz will go to one of those places where, you know, you just pick your food out. He would just put his pocket. It's Crazy.

[B]

I can't do that.

[C]

I can't do that. Scary.

[B]

What?

[A]

Mr. Diaz's resume.

[B]

What. What kind of luggage you got? You got name brand luggage? You just use them? Anything nondescript?

[C]

No, I used to always just use Samsonite, you know, like just. Yeah, just replace it every year almost. It'll break. Break a new one. Okay, Ross.

[B]

Very. You get them at raw? Yeah, because that's why they're breaking every year.

[C]

That.

[B]

Dude, that's dirt bag.

[A]

Ever going to a wedding and not giving a gift?

[C]

Never did that. No.

[A]

Somebody got married. What do you. What are you dropping in the envelope?

[B]

You come to my guy like you.

[C]

I usually just do the like. If they have a registry.

[A]

You do.

[C]

Well, because it's easier, you know. Then here's 100 bucks. I don't know. I could buy them like a hundred.

[A]

Red Bane Red. Forefront of every Can't. Yeah, you got to be going, 500,000. Fair enough.

[C]

I don't go to funerals or weddings.

[B]

How many suits?

[A]

Can't wear shorts. I ain't going.

[B]

How many suits do you own?

[C]

Like four.

[B]

Anything nice?

[C]

No, they're all just like, you know, menswear.

[A]

Do you own any costumes?

[C]

Tons of costumes. I have a lot of costumes.

[A]

You do?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

A lot of you guys don't do cosplaying stuff, do you?

[C]

No, but I. I don't think they don't.

[A]

Yeah,

[C]

no, I have a lot of costumes to like Halloween and just from years of doing podcasts and like, that makes sense. So I do have a lot of costumes.

[A]

You got a walk in closet at the house?

[C]

We have like. Yeah, multiple. 4. We have a McMansion, you know? Yeah, it's a McMansion.

[A]

Pretty clean. Pretty tight. Okay.

[C]

There's rooms we haven't been in like for like a year though. You know, like bedrooms and stuff like that.

[A]

You spend a lot of time in the gaming room?

[C]

Living room, right? Yeah.

[A]

You both play video games Games? Yeah.

[C]

Just got a pinball machine, you know.

[B]

Sick. What kind? They're so expensive. Way more expensive than you anticipate.

[C]

Pokemon limited edition, they only made 750 of them?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What do you mean, 750 of them?

[C]

Yeah, the limited edition, they only made 700.

[B]

Wait, how much did it cost?

[C]

$13,000.

[B]

What?

[A]

Spent $13,000 on a. Yeah. You're dropping 100 bucks at a wedding?

[C]

It's worth like 20, 22 already, though. That's why I got that one.

[B]

At the forefront of pinball, were you.

[A]

Were you a Pokemon guy?

[C]

No, not really. I. I like the cartoon and stuff, but it, you know, not much.

[A]

You were watching cartoons very late in life.

[C]

I was, yeah. I still watch cartoons. I love. Yeah.

[A]

I don't want to say that, but not that far into it. I think he's into like Yoji Go or what's it called? Gung Ho. No, what's the fireball guy?

[C]

Dragon Ball.

[A]

Yes, Dragon Ball. You like Dragon Ball?

[C]

Like Dragon Ball? Yeah.

[A]

You do? You like all the Japanese animals?

[C]

I love it. Japanese anime. Yeah. My best friend growing up was Japanese and so was an octopus. Yeah. So when Nintendo came out, he had the Nintendo like a year before it came out in the US So I was going to his house playing Mario Brothers and before anyone even knew what Mario was.

[A]

Forefront of a Nintendo.

[C]

That's right. I forgot. That is true.

[A]

This is adding the fuck up. What the fuck?

[C]

Yeah, it is weird.

[A]

Is there anything you could think of that you had dibs on first, Like Pepsi Clear or anything like that? The blue raspberry flavored in candy?

[C]

Yeah. Well, Columbus, Ohio, also is a test. Test market town. We had Chipotle like 10 years before everyone had Chipotle and stuff. And then McDonald's bought it, I think.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I didn't know that's how they did it. That actual cities were test. I thought they went around.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

We.

[C]

If you go to Columbus right now,

[B]

there's so many shit you never even heard of. Dog.

[C]

White Castle, you know, was.

[A]

I've seen.

[C]

Know started.

[A]

Oh, started there.

[C]

Not started there, but it was like one of their first.

[B]

One of the incubators.

[A]

Wonder what else I'll test in on the mat there.

[B]

Widely known as Test City usa. What if. Find out what they got there. What's. What's in. What's in current test right now?

[A]

Yeah. Is that where the comedy attic is in Columbus? Yes, at Bloomington.

[C]

Comedy Addicts in Columbus.

[A]

That's where we were upstairs.

[C]

That's no downtown Columbus.

[B]

No.

[C]

You sure?

[B]

The Comedy Addicts in Bloomington, Indiana.

[A]

Oh, Indiana.

[B]

You sure?

[C]

I don't think it is. I think it's.

[B]

I'm not saying there's not a comedy addict there, but the one we did.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

The Funny Bone is though, my. The club. I started off in Columbus, Ohio, but now I think it's the Comedy Addicts.

[B]

There is a comedy addict. That is not the comedy addict that we went to, though.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, no, that's not it. But that is your. We are both correct. There is a comedy addict there.

[A]

You ever wipe grease off your finger and put it in a soap soda as an Adult.

[C]

Off your face.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah. I did that all the time.

[B]

You do that for soda?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, just anything with foam.

[B]

Beers. Yeah. Because the alcohol kill that. You're doing it with sodas and you're gonna get.

[A]

I'm not doing it as a grown man. I did it as a kid.

[C]

Oh. I Do it all, Mr. Red Band Hills. I do it mostly for beers, though. Like, beers.

[B]

Of course. In there. Little dabble. Do you.

[C]

Getting a little crevice.

[B]

Hey. Okay.

[A]

How do you sleep? You guys got a king size be bed.

[C]

Of course. California king. Yeah.

[A]

California King. I have a lot of pillows.

[C]

3. One for head, one to hold like a baby. I want it between the legs.

[A]

It's exactly how.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Are you facing out? Are you facing in?

[C]

I have to switch every 30 minutes because my arm falls asleep or. And now I have tremendous arm pain and back issues from that. Sure.

[A]

I don't know. I don't know if sleeping like that is good for you or bad for you.

[C]

It's bad. Bad.

[A]

It is.

[C]

Yeah. You're supposed to sleep on your back. But I can't because I'll choke and die.

[A]

Yeah. Why do you have some sleep apnea?

[C]

I'm sure I do. That's why I sleep on my side and, you know, so I don't.

[A]

You should go get a machine.

[C]

I don't want that. Dude.

[A]

Why?

[C]

In my life. That sucks.

[A]

They're great.

[C]

I know.

[A]

I'm telling you, Uncle.

[B]

Hey.

[A]

For me? Yeah. Take it from me, it's not like the 50s. You get a good one. They're soft.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Plus that noise makes you feel like you're in a spaceship to fall asleep.

[C]

I'm sure Janice would love that.

[A]

Speaking your language now?

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Do you have a go to karaoke song? And will you do karaoke?

[C]

Yeah. The. My favorite was always Radiohead creep. And then I used to kill Trashy as. Then. Then Chappelle started doing it all the time. And I'm like, I. I can't do this anymore. That's just Chappelle's Song, man.

[A]

Chappelle is stealing your material. The forefront again. You guys have a cleaning service at the house?

[C]

Yeah, we have a lady that comes every couple weeks.

[A]

Where's the grocery shopping being done over at the house? We.

[C]

We go like multiple times a week.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I do that too.

[C]

We live by a Costco, though. We're just kind of spoiled. Like Super H E B. So we live all by all these nice grocery stores.

[A]

You guys like hitting like little specialty stores like we were Talking. I think in Austin and H Mart you like doing that kind of.

[C]

Oh H Mart's.

[A]

You like the favorite snacks, all that kind of stuff.

[C]

Yeah, I love it.

[A]

It. I'm with it.

[C]

Yeah, we. We have like two different like Tokyo. The monthly Tokyo treats. And then we have another one that's like a different country every month, you know. Like what do they get subscription like where you're getting like different Kit Kats from different countries.

[A]

Like that green tea Kit Kats. All that stuff.

[C]

You go to our house and you open up the closet. It looks like a candy store just from all these different. Like we need to cancel these subscriptions. We have so much.

[B]

I need a passport to go into the pantry, you know, I mean that

[A]

I would imagine and I could be wrong. A lot of plush animals at the. At the home.

[B]

You guys are into Stuffies.

[C]

Maybe this week I bought three new ones so. Yes, you did. Yeah, I have a lot of those. Cuz I use them. I use them as pillows. I use them as pillows and stuff.

[B]

Yeah, that's normal.

[C]

What like when you're on the couch,

[A]

what do you have?

[C]

I have a big dolphin. It's like a head pillow. I have like a hot.

[A]

Her name's Lucy.

[C]

Like the side pillows. Like a hot. I have a huge hot dog getting these. Amazon man. Amazon.

[B]

What's one set you back? I've never been in the market for some.

[C]

What's that?

[B]

How much?

[C]

Like 20 bucks for a big one. These are giant ones.

[B]

How many? Think you have put a number on it.

[A]

The Mrs. Is in all this stuff too. You guys are very like my two peas in a pot.

[C]

Yeah, we have about 25. I would say 20. 20 of them. Yeah, we have one that's like a Pikachu. That's like this big. It's great.

[A]

House is probably cozy.

[C]

Oh dude, you. I know you would cut. I mean my house looks like this, you know, it's. It's just toys and everywhere.

[A]

If I stayed I'd. Sleeping on your couch and all that stuff in the games and the candy and you guys. Yeah, I probably. I probably wouldn't leave.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Be my vibe. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's my five watching GI Joes and

[C]

stuff like that Pac man in the garage, you know.

[A]

What game are you playing right now?

[C]

I'm not really playing a game as

[A]

a 52 year old man.

[C]

I'm not playing a game.

[B]

How many stuff he's doing.

[A]

I know with us. What game are you playing right now?

[B]

I'm trying to remember something going on.

[A]

Well you don't have a sp. You're not doing Call of Duty or whatever. The kids are doing ball now, right?

[C]

I'm doing the pinball right now, so I'm not really into the game.

[A]

Wow, you're back analog.

[B]

Do you sit down when you play pinball? You have a chair there, like a bar stool. That's old guy to bowl.

[C]

Holy.

[B]

Now who are you?

[A]

Earthquake.

[C]

That's crazy.

[A]

Sitting down like Big J. When you play your games, do you guys have a gaming computer? Are you playing on a system?

[C]

We have all the systems, and we have a couple gaming computers, but lately it's been. We have the little Steam decks, so we've been using.

[A]

I don't know what that is.

[C]

It's like. It's like a Nintendo Switch.

[A]

Ah.

[C]

But it plays.

[A]

I got one of those somewhere pieces.

[C]

PC games.

[A]

PC games?

[C]

Yeah. So it's like a switch for your PC games. Like this Steam deck. Yeah.

[A]

What. What's it.

[B]

Oh, is that a brand?

[C]

Yeah, that's a brand.

[A]

What's a PC game?

[C]

Like, you know, like, if you're playing games on your PC.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

But you can play it handheld.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So you know how to play on the computer with the.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Is that what you prefer?

[C]

I used to, but nowadays the PlayStation PS5 is so great, so.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, I lost that. Had it.

[B]

What are the cars you got?

[C]

I have an electric Hummer.

[B]

You are. It does.

[C]

It does the crowd.

[A]

He's every character in Entourage rolled into one.

[C]

It does the crab walk. Dude, the electric Hummer's the probably.

[B]

It does the crab walk.

[C]

Yeah. Where it does the sideways thing where you can go down the street.

[A]

Like, only when you play Cisco.

[C]

Yeah. Type in King Crab Walk a Hummer

[A]

to park the car.

[C]

Yeah, you can do, like, that. It's more for fun. But the cool thing is the whole roof comes off and fits into the front trunk. And you have a convertible Hummer. It's the best. I have one of those solar roofs, though, the Tesla solar roof, where it looks like a regular roof, but it's, like, hard, like shingles and Tesla batteries. So I got rid of almost. Oh.

[B]

I got rid of the grid.

[C]

I'm off the grid.

[A]

What, in your home?

[C]

Yeah. And it's like. Because our neighborhoods kept on getting beat up from, like, hail and storms, and everyone's getting the roof replaced all the time. And I. I'm like, I want a stronger roof. And then I was like, oh, this Tesla roof's like. Like, it's, like, bulletproof and really It's. It's solar. So then I got a bunch of batteries.

[B]

Metal?

[C]

Yeah, it's like. It's like really hard. Like it's aluminum or what? It's like. Actually, I think it's like tempered glass, but super strong glass. But now. So I. I'm off the grid and free electricity for all my cars. So I got rid of all my, like, my Supra and stuff. I got rid of all my gas cars.

[A]

And why is the electricity free? Once you pay for the roof, they don't charge you a monthly fee or anything.

[C]

I paid for the roof and then, you know, I'm making so much electricity back that I'm selling it back to the.

[B]

It goes back in the grid.

[C]

So now I have credits. Like, my bill's like negative $500 and that's charging. I just keep TVs on for no reason.

[A]

I assume the electric company doesn't like that, right?

[B]

No. They're buying electricity. You're getting them electricity?

[C]

Yeah, they love it. Yeah.

[A]

How much is the roof?

[C]

It was pretty expensive. I. I did get 100 grand. It was 300 grand, but I got. I got like 150 back from the government because I got it. So it's like.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Yeah. Credits.

[A]

Sharp guy. That's crazy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I want to sleep there even more

[C]

now, but I got a Hummer and I got three Teslas.

[B]

You have three Teslas?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Are you an environment guy?

[C]

No, I just. Once you go electric car like that, instant Tron power, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It is pretty nice.

[C]

And it drives me home. Like, it's so good at driving now that it just almost all always just, hey, take me to work, take me to McDonald's. You know, take me wherever.

[A]

Are you on your phone doing your thing?

[C]

Yeah, sometimes. But it's also.

[A]

Just fall asleep.

[C]

No, I don't do that. Because it. It films you to make sure you don't fall.

[B]

Yeah. Giannis was telling us it tracks your eyes. You can't look away.

[A]

Well, if it's supposed to be that. How far away you think we are from that?

[C]

Couple years. About a year. I mean, it's so good right now. It could do it now.

[B]

I think it's more of like a legality thing. It's like you're not allowed to be. Be checked the out.

[A]

You gotta stay.

[B]

It wants you to.

[A]

I mean, it can't do anything if. If I'm in a car and I'm trying to hit you, it can't do anything about that.

[C]

It would detect you coming at me. And Dodge and. And really out of me.

[B]

Yeah, stop being a.

[C]

It is way safer than like, I trust it way more than an Uber driver. Like it's, it's better than like most drivers. I know it's better than my girl driving. I think you know, she's Asian, so.

[B]

Hey, Brian.

[A]

I didn't know you were Asian. Yeah.

[C]

Stung by bees. Don't eat you off.

[B]

I mean, you know, I mean.

[A]

You got any nickel at the house?

[C]

Nickels? Oh yeah, yeah. I just got my first one. Yeah, it's pretty nice.

[A]

Cured. Fun snacks.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Video games, cartoons, community pool. Done very well. Sharp guy. Which you don't get a lot of credit for. And I've told you this multiple times. Times. I know you like the hat when you have the hat off.

[C]

Oh yeah.

[A]

Good looking dude. Good looking dude. Not that you're not a good looking dude. All the time you take the hat off. The way the hair is. I love it. Get the salt and pepper.

[C]

I'm telling you, your hair is amazing.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

You guys gonna bone or what? We're boys. Guys. Put the car. Put the. Put the car in self driving.

[A]

I remember me and you laughing at at Mitzi's about when you go to a diner and you order an entree. They treat you completely differently. They treat you like a celebrity.

[B]

Oh, right this way.

[A]

Get the soup and salad or bread basket.

[B]

They drop a lit candle, man.

[A]

What are you guys doing for dinner tonight?

[B]

Usually. You want to hang out later?

[A]

Usually. What do you guys do? Is anybody cooking?

[C]

We. We doordash or Uber eats probably twice a day on average.

[A]

I would assume that.

[C]

Yeah. And what are you talking about? A lot of times it's just like just Starbucks or Sydney or get me some tea, you know. But we're doing usually lunch and then

[B]

what's a lunch look like? You know, like one of those healthy bowls or whatever.

[C]

No, no, no. We usually do like chicken or fried chicken or something. You know, just.

[A]

You guys don't eat great as far as.

[C]

We pretty bad.

[A]

Like teenagers.

[C]

Yeah, we. Yeah, you're basically two teachers.

[A]

Teenager.

[C]

But we also eat a lot of Asian foods which is mostly healthy. So. You know, it's a good point.

[A]

It's the best.

[C]

We just got back on those factors because that's shout out to them. I mean they're great, you know.

[B]

Ready in two to three minutes.

[C]

I know.

[B]

I do it on the pan myself.

[A]

I swear to God, I keep it in microwave them. I'm ready to go in a minute and a half.

[C]

They're pretty good.

[A]

They're awesome.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Big fan.

[A]

So how many of those are you putting away?

[C]

We. I think we get like eight.

[A]

No, how many? You do it at a time?

[C]

Oh, no, no, I don't do that. No.

[A]

Actually, I don't eat.

[C]

Eat that much. Like, she eats probably twice as much as me.

[B]

It's. Every fat guy says that, though. No, I swear to God, I listen, I've said it. He said it.

[C]

You know, it's something I drink my calories.

[A]

You drink your calories.

[B]

I'll give you that.

[C]

And I like candy still.

[A]

I like candy, too. Since I quit drinking. I love candy. How much sour Skittles have got a hold?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I gotta do them one at a time. Like, savor it. I love the Skittle and Gummy Nerds. Gummy clusters. We all agreement on that.

[C]

Those are the best.

[A]

Yeah. Fantastic.

[C]

And the white chocolate Reese's Cups with the pretzel or whatever it's in it,

[A]

Something crunchy struck me as a big cup, man. Big cup.

[B]

Really?

[A]

White chocolate on the fritz. Trash.

[B]

It was cl. When I first learned about white chocolate, it was class. I said, what the hell is this?

[A]

And then you get chocolate, right?

[C]

I heard it's not chocolate. Yeah, it's not chocolate something.

[B]

It's like milk chocolate. I thought it was just like dyed milk chocolate.

[A]

Not dying it.

[B]

Not, I don't know, bleaching it.

[A]

My cousin was big on that as a kid, my cousin Kelly, she got a white chocolate crucifix that was like 3ft tall for Easter. I was like, I don't think you should be eating that.

[B]

Heathen going to hell. What do you got, Luke? It's chocolate. It just doesn't have the cocoa powder or they're calling it cocoa mass.

[A]

That's chocolate. No, I mean, that's chocolate. The cocoa mass is chocolate?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That's what makes it chocolate?

[B]

Yeah, It's a blend of cocoa butter, sugar, and milk solids. I know you.

[A]

Didn't you say something?

[C]

Dance club.

[B]

How much cash you have on you right now?

[C]

I usually never have cash, but I think I have, like, $100 on me right now.

[B]

That's not bad. How many watches do you own? You got a watch?

[C]

I'm not a watch guy. I hate jewelry, watches, anything around me. It freaks me out. It's so hard for me to wear this. This is an apple watch. But it's so hard for me.

[B]

Big one, though.

[C]

It's just the. You could get different bands for it.

[B]

Oh, even the face.

[A]

Where do you get all your technology news? What's coming out, all that kind of stuff because you're. You're dialed in with that shit.

[C]

Yeah, I mean I, I watch a lot of. I'm a. I, I watch only YouTube. Pretty much everything I watch is YouTube. And so I watch a lot of elect like tech news and stuff like that. I mean I just. That's all I do is watch like tech news.

[A]

He's a smart guy.

[B]

He's locked in.

[C]

Yeah, I used to, I used to. Before podcast stuff, I used to do reviews of like cameras and tech stuff and I was actually pretty successful doing that. And then when I started getting doing jre, I was like, well, this is better. Yeah, but like Sony would send me cameras and shit.

[B]

What?

[C]

Yeah, back in the day I just

[A]

saw a video of a Sony flying car. Is that, was that AI? Is that fake? Looked pretty sick.

[B]

The boy who was raised with wolves,

[C]

they do have flying cars that are like big, you know.

[A]

This thing was drones. This thing was jet. Didn't have any propellers. AI was it. Thing looked cool though. Does look at the thing in a Blade Runner. Do you get fooled by AI a lot, guys? I don't get fooled.

[B]

I think Foley just did.

[A]

That one was pretty good.

[B]

Good.

[A]

I hate all that. I hate all that.

[B]

You get got a lot.

[A]

I get got a lot.

[C]

Rogan is the king of that.

[A]

The fight between Dr. Doom and Ronald Reagan. I should have known was. Well, what do you think, hippie?

[B]

What? That guy's a dirt bat.

[A]

Fascinating. Fascinating.

[B]

Fascinating guy. But I mean obviously we knew this dead the rights. We've known you a long time. You're a stone cold dirt.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[C]

Oh yeah.

[A]

100 trash. Yeah, but modernized. Already off the grid, technologically advanced. What kind of credit cards you got? You got. You probably got the amex. You got the whole nine yards. Yeah, I have all that big credit limit, huh?

[C]

Oh yeah.

[A]

Credit's good.

[C]

Oh yeah.

[B]

You do not and stuff what you do points like, are you like.

[C]

Oh yeah. I used my points all the time. I mean I used it to buy a vacation to Hawaii the other day. Like everything.

[A]

There you go.

[C]

I got the shiny new. Have you seen the American Express? It's like a mirror Coke. Mirror, mirror.

[B]

No, no. I think this patch showed it to

[A]

you guys, didn't she?

[B]

You got it on you?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, man, that wallet is like a 12 year old little girl wallet. That's crazy. It's got a zipper on the top.

[A]

Hello Kitty, this one.

[B]

Oh, don't show it.

[A]

There's.

[C]

It's on the back, isn't it?

[A]

That's sick. Look, I want one of those.

[B]

Luke, write this down. 992. I mean, yeah, he's garbage of the future.

[A]

Who's running the. The operation over at the house? Who handles, like, the bills and all that kind of stuff? Who. Who's the. Who's running the show? Yeah, half.

[C]

Half. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, yeah, he's got it together.

[A]

You guys are sharp, as I've always said that. The two of you together, unstoppable.

[B]

And if you guys want to be in a relationship with Henry, let me know.

[A]

I love this man. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Brian Redburn. You guys are on your. This is your fourth. Fifth appearance at the Madison Square Garden.

[C]

It's like a third or fourth. I can't. I don't even know.

[A]

Killing it.

[C]

Yeah, great.

[B]

Love to fucking see it, boys.

[A]

We'd love to see it, buddy. We love you so much.

[C]

Thank you guys so much.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

Anything you want to plug. Anything you want to come up. Sunset Comedy Club.

[C]

Sunset Strip Comedy Club. Also, I have a fake band cap. Red 7. Which is. I would play a woman. Yeah.

[B]

Love it.

[A]

Just everybody knows the number was $700 billion, gang. We love you. We'll see you next week.

[B]

Peace.