Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Episode: Emergency Room Visits w/ Tommy Pope
Release Date: January 8, 2026
Hosts: Kevin Ryan, H. Foley
Guest: Tommy Pope

Episode Overview

This episode revolves around the typical "Are You Garbage?" format — comedians putting themselves and their guest through the wringer to see who is truly classless (trash) or classy. On this visit, frequent guest and fellow Philly comic Tommy Pope joins to talk about recent ER visits, Philly sports, Catholic guilt, petty crime, and the general lifestyle hallmarks that define 'garbage people' in hilarious detail. The episode is full of high-energy roast battles, absurd stories, and that unmistakable Philly working class vibe.

Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Tommy's Emergency Room (ER) Adventure

• Bleach in the Eye (02:44 – 04:19)
  • Tommy details a recent accident: "I got bleach in my eye. It was like a Final Destination type shit. I got three bottles of Tilex... I went to squirt the wall, the bottom releases, hits the towel rack, spins, and spits directly in my eye." (Tommy, 03:53)
  • Immediately, his girlfriend wanted to take him to the ER, but Tommy protests: "I'm not going to fucking ER... I was there for six hours." (04:03–04:33)
  • Eventually, pressured by family doctors, he gives in: "They put a Morgan's lens in—it just runs water through your eye constantly." (04:41–04:47)
  • Jokes abound about hospital hacks: "I'm doing the dog bath. I got in the shower, opening my lids, direct shot." (Tommy, 04:03)
• Why Avoid the ER?
  • Tommy resists out of learned trashiness and the inconvenience: "The way we were raised." (04:25)
  • Foley cracks: "He's gotta get somebody's Social Security card." (04:26)

2. Physical Appearance & Self-Deprecation

• Tommy receives endless ribbing about his outfit, hospital visit, glasses, and general appearance.
• Classic Foley: "Do you trim any of that up at all?" (05:53)
• Joke about cologne: "Whatever you're doing... I'm all ticklish. I got it. I smelled your jacket smell. That's a lot." (B, 06:21)

3. Catholic Guilt & Confession Stories

• Foley goes to confession (10:51 – 13:31):
  • Foley admits visiting confession "twice," feeling better for it: "I like to do the privacy one... they clean slate thing." (A, 11:06)
  • Kevin recalls, "They made me do face-to-face on the altar." (B, 11:42)
  • Ridicule of rituals: “Dude, priests are the biggest fucking hacks in the world.” (C/Tommy, 13:39)
• Tommy’s general take on faith:
  • "Religion, spirituality, whatever makes you feel better, it’s great—but you’re acting different since confession..." (C, 14:22–14:27)

4. Buying Flashy Jewelry (for Character Work)

• Tommy, prepping for a role, describes an impulse buy:
  • "I went in there for a pinky ring. I walked out seven grand... ring, pendant, custom made bracelet, see ya." (C, 16:43)
  • His lion pendant explained: "I said, anything but religious... custom made lion head." (C, 16:39)
• Hosts roast him for being upsold, referencing classic Philly/NYC jewelry shop stereotypes.

5. Sports and Philly “Garbage” Culture

• Trashiness at Sporting Events
  • On game-day attire: “Is it garbage to support your team by just wearing the right color, not official merch?” (B, 46:05)
  • Tommy: “No, I think that’s great… wear colors that are close.” (C, 46:19 & 56:37)
• Discussion about attending Flyers hockey games:
  • Female trash at weeknight games: “There’s a certain level of trash at a weeknight Flyers game… a level of female trash in bootleg Flyers gear." (B, 48:33)
  • Tommy’s take: “They wear bedazzled jeans… they get their hair all permed out, trying to blow Gritty.” (C, 49:29–49:44)

6. Petty Crime Hallmarks

• Stealing at the Airport (44:08 – 45:17)
  • Tommy admits: "I steal water every, every flight. Hudson can get it...Every single flight, I steal two of the highest priced waters I can possibly get." (C, 44:08 & 45:23)
  • Defends it: “Thirteen for gummy bears? Suck my dick. I’m stealing water right in front.” (C, 44:29)
  • Play-by-play: “I grab a couple waters, bat my eyes at the lady… pretend to beep, hit cancel, walk out.” (C, 44:35)

7. Family Naming Traditions — Another Trash Sign

• A listener question prompts a discussion about families with similar names (like Denise and Dennis):
  • “That’s real fucking trash." (B, 58:49)
  • Tommy: "[In Philly Italian families] there’s like six or seven names. Joe, Brigid, Tommy, Johnny, Frank, Michael..." (C, 59:19)

8. Rapid-Fire "Are You Garbage?" Questions

• Chip Clips:
  • "Is it garbage to share one chip clip on multiple bags?"
  • Bag-sharing seen as organized but still “derpy/trash.” (B, 60:52)
• Checking ATM Balances and Fees:
  • “Will you use any ATM, or only your bank's?”
  • Tommy: "Nope...Texaco, give me $8 fee. I don't give a shit." (C, 42:38)
• Eating While Shopping:
  • "You ever walk around and finish food before paying, then discard?"
  • "Of course, episode 1." (A/B, 43:18–43:25)

9. Memorable Running Gags & Roasts

• Habitual “Cut that / keep that” meta-commentary, with Tommy frequently demanding edits after edgy or failed bits.
• Sustained mockery about taquitos, cologne, and "killer whale of comedy" (28:16), referencing Foley’s attack and predatorial hosting energy.
• Crack about Philly family: “Two Kevins at the cousin level. Only six names where we're from.” (B, 59:07)

Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• Tommy on the ER:
  “All I did was went from off to on — it hit the towel rack, did a spin and spit directly in my eye. Like I’m talking full splash.” (Tommy Pope, 03:53)

• Tommy on stealing water:
  “Hudson can get it. Thirteen for gummy bears? Suck my dick. I’m stealing water right in front.” (44:29)

• Kevin on supporting your team:
  “Is it garbage to support your team with just the colors, not any official merch?” (46:05)

• On Catholic Confession:
  “They made me do face-to-face on the altar. Oh, my God... I made stuff up, you know—used the Lord’s name in vain. Jerked off a couple times.” (Kevin, 11:42)

• Foley on childhood fashion:
  “It was a maroon pair of sweatpants… Didn’t even have elastic at the bottom. Fat kids were sitting on me.” (A/H. Foley, 53:44)

• Tommy on Philly names:
  “In Philly families, there’s like six or seven names... Tommy, Johnny, Frank, Michael.” (59:19)

• On seeing Gritty at Flyers games:
  "There’s a level of female trash in like a bootleg Flyers... they wear bedazzled jeans, hair permed out, trying to blow Gritty." (Tommy, 49:29)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Tommy’s ER story: 02:44 – 04:47
• Confession & Catholic guilt: 10:51 – 13:31
• Buying jewelry for a role: 15:16 – 17:02
• Philly sporting events & trash fashion: 46:05 – 47:00, 48:33 – 49:53
• Petty theft at airports: 44:08 – 45:23
• Family naming trash: 58:20 – 60:05

Tone & Dynamic

True to the show’s format, the tone throughout is rapid-fire ribbing, blue-collar camaraderie, and semi-anarchic Philly humor. Foley and Kevin alternate between earnest curiosity and pure goofball antagonism, making sure Tommy never feels too comfortable (“This is the killer whale of comedy, dude. You never know who he’s gonna come after.” — C, 28:19). Tommy dishes it back, often going meta on the show’s running bits: “Cut that, Kev. Go ahead, ask a question.” (C, 45:55)

Summary

This episode is packed with the show’s signature chaotic energy, deep Philly in-jokes, and working class confessions, all filtered through stories of bodily harm, childhood flashbacks, and the ever-present specter of trashy habits. Tommy Pope’s accident and ER visit anchor the show’s thematic focus (“how garbage are we, really?”), with constant digressions into sports, shoplifting, childhood trauma, and the minutiae that determine classiness—or, more often, its trashy absence.