Family Fights Part 2 w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Family Fights Part 2" on Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Episode Information:

• Title: Family Fights Part 2
• Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
• Release Date: June 16, 2025

---

Introduction

In "Family Fights Part 2," hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley delve deeper into the chaotic and often humorous world of family disputes. Building on the foundation laid in the first part, this episode features a mix of personal anecdotes and listener-submitted stories that highlight the absurdities and emotional complexities inherent in family relationships.

Hosts' Personal Experiences with Family Conflicts

The episode kicks off with Kevin and H. Foley sharing their own experiences navigating family dynamics. Kevin humorously recounts hosting his wife's entire family at his apartment, emphasizing his strategy to maintain peace:

Kevin Ryan [03:21]: "Buddy, I have stepped up my game. Not. I just keep my mouth shut. I smile."

H. Foley adds his own twist, mentioning past altercations and the lengths he's gone to keep the harmony intact:

H. Foley [03:02]: "I had Nana in a headlock. It's...family's tough, man. Family's tough."

Their playful banter sets the tone for an episode filled with relatable and entertaining content about family strife.

Listener Submissions: Hilarious and Intense Family Fights

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to stories submitted by listeners, each highlighting unique and often outrageous family conflicts. Here are some standout submissions:

1. $10 Homie Jr.'s Chicken Salad Showdown
   A listener shares a troubling incident where his mother's chicken salad became the catalyst for a physical altercation at a family party:

   H. Foley [14:35]: "That's the whole thing. It's not over chicken salad. You're in therapy. You should know that."

2. Sergeant Bluechew's Repossession Ruckus
   This story revolves around a family road trip disrupted by the sudden repossession of the father's truck, leading to tension and misunderstandings:

   Kevin Ryan [38:51]: "That got repoed for your quinceanera."

3. John's Split-Family Funeral Plan
   John describes a family so fragmented by long-standing beefs that during his grandfather's wake, the room had to be divided to prevent fights:

   H. Foley [57:45]: "There'd be no fighting in the funeral home."

4. Ty Boogie's Midnight Brawl Observation
   A young listener recounts witnessing his mother fistfight his older sister in the middle of the night, highlighting the volatility present even in family gatherings:

   H. Foley [53:15]: "I was probably the only kid wearing a seatbelt in the 80s."

Hosts' Reactions and Insights

As each listener story unfolds, Kevin and H. Foley provide their own humorous and empathetic reactions, often relating them to their personal experiences. For instance, discussing the chicken salad fight, H. Foley remarks:

H. Foley [15:11]: "That's insane... Those fights have been brewing for 40 fucking years."

Their interactions not only entertain but also offer a deeper understanding of the dynamics that fuel family conflicts.

Philosophical Musings on Family Relationships

Beyond the humorous anecdotes, the hosts engage in thoughtful discussions about the nature of family relationships and conflict resolution. H. Foley muses on handling tensions without escalating situations:

H. Foley [62:54]: "You don't go poking the beast when you're living in your parents' base."

Kevin complements this by sharing his approach to maintaining peace:

Kevin Ryan [55:45]: "I hate if I'm in those situations and maybe I'm chirping a little bit...but if there's maybe a slight exchange or I'm about to say something out the window."

Conclusion

Wrapping up the episode, Kevin and H. Foley reflect on the importance of humor and understanding in mitigating family disputes. They express gratitude for their listeners' candidness and share final thoughts on navigating the delicate balance between family loyalty and personal boundaries.

Notable Quotes:

• Kevin Ryan [03:21]: "Buddy, I have stepped up my game. Not. I just keep my mouth shut. I smile."
• H. Foley [14:35]: "That's the whole thing. It's not over chicken salad. You're in therapy. You should know that."
• H. Foley [57:45]: "There'd be no fighting in the funeral home."
• H. Foley [62:54]: "You don't go poking the beast when you're living in your parents' base."

Final Thoughts

"Family Fights Part 2" offers a compelling blend of comedy and genuine reflection on the complexities of family life. Through shared stories and candid conversations, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley provide listeners with both laughter and relatable insights, reinforcing the podcast's unique charm as a "trashy comedy game show" that doesn't shy away from the messy realities of being "garbage."

---

This structured and comprehensive summary captures the essence of the episode, highlighting key discussions, personal anecdotes, and listener contributions while omitting advertisements and non-content segments as requested.

Transcript

[H. Foley]

Martin's question is, are you garbage? If you ask for a Rumpelman shot at the bar upstairs and the bartender said, we're not that kind of place.

[Kevin Ryan]

Give the boys a round of applause for kicking it off with a goddamn home run.

[H. Foley]

Rumpelman's when you're out of crack, where is.

[Kevin Ryan]

Rumpelmann's when you know you're not going to get hard, gang? Get your tickets for the back on.

[H. Foley]

The block [e-mail] second show out in San Francisco. Get your tickets for Portland, Seattle, Brea, Burlington, Vermont, Boston, Massachusetts. Low ticket warning, Atlanta, Georgia, Charlotte, North Carolina, Raleigh, North Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland, Philadelphia at the Met, Rochester, New York, and Toronto, Ontario. See you there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is are you garbage? It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that after Groot, to be classy. Just a big old piece of trash.

[H. Foley]

Garbage.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm your host, Dave Trolley. Coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in a new edition. She's out front with a little lemonade stand. I got you nickels, 20s and Ace and quarters.

[H. Foley]

All right?

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what I mean? A couple of cute bees talking about drugs.

[H. Foley]

All right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Talking about drugs. My coast. Coming at you from across the table is what we call family episode. Just the boys, the bozos and the homies. He's the CEO of are you garbage? He's a national businessman and the president of the Luke Combs fan club. Shout out to Luke Combs out there. Yeah, give it up for kj Kevin James Ryan.

[H. Foley]

I would thank you once. Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in as always. Please make sure you rate View subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. As you know, those numbers are cooking, baby. Then obviously the greatest website Of All Time, www.patreon.com Sorry, Garbs. I'm contractually obligated to say all this, and Luke Combs did send me this personally.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, not.

[H. Foley]

Not him personally, but a guy who works for him sent this to me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to him. You look like a bad hunter guy who blows his face off with a shotgun.

[H. Foley]

Trust me, I'm at the point now where maybe I would.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ah, yeah, boy, that's pretty nice. That Luke Combs operation sent us some swag. Sure Shout out to the big dog.

[H. Foley]

He has no idea we received it. He's probably yelling at the guy who sent it to us, sending out free merch.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's our boy.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

Kidding me.

[H. Foley]

Uh huh. We gotta get him back in for round two.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm. Gang, we're here for family fights. Two. Part d' Oi, part dwarf.

[H. Foley]

Because, you know, we've. We. I don't know. We've got more submissions about family fights than any other than the police. I know.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's.

[H. Foley]

I mean, they're still coming in. People are still DMing. This one time I had my. I had Nana in a headlock. It's.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, family's tough, man. Family's tough. I got. I got them all in town this weekend. I got my. I got my wife's whole family in town.

[H. Foley]

But it's going from. From the. From the reports from the front line. Seems to be going pretty well.

[Kevin Ryan]

Buddy, I have stepped up my game. Not. I just keep my mouth shut. I smile. We're having a great, great time. The apartment's the better it's ever been. Got the upstairs all nice. Uncle Hank's. I'm sliding into the roll. Uncle Hank got the grilling going.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

No complaining, no nothing. I'm chilling.

[H. Foley]

Hey, a dog.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm losing.

[H. Foley]

The dog's gonna be a dog at some point, baby. A dog gonna bite.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shut up.

[H. Foley]

Big man can only roll over and play dead for so long before them true colors come out, you know? Wow. I know because I know you.

[Kevin Ryan]

There was almost an explosion this morning. Ain't talking about the propane tank. It was almost being great. Everybody's been great. Everything's awesome. So the family was nice enough to bring me a T shirt back from. From the island. There's this one clothing company, Sailboat usa.

[H. Foley]

So big, it's a sale.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I'm aware of what you were getting.

[H. Foley]

All right. I'm just saying.

[Kevin Ryan]

Brought me back a nice shirt with that joke.

[H. Foley]

Was Luke Combs approved.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's a 4X. All right. The whole family's out there. She's in there. She's sitting out there.

[H. Foley]

They have to check that thing or how'd they get it here?

[Kevin Ryan]

Came in on a.

[H. Foley]

Came in on a military flight. See 130.

[Kevin Ryan]

They use it as a parachute for a Humvee. You ever see when they shut those out the back? Oh, that. They take your foot off. Watch out. Keep your fingers and toes. They send dudes out in those sometimes. Now they don't.

[H. Foley]

Was it the X Games? Whoa. All right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Anyway, we're sitting there. They gave me the shirt. Hold the shower. Oh, it's beautiful. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. I turn around and walk back now. I'm trying to get to work here in the shower. You know what I mean?

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

Try it on.

[H. Foley]

Who said that? Family member or your bird?

[Kevin Ryan]

I wanted to be.

[H. Foley]

You fucking motherfucker.

[Kevin Ryan]

Try. What are you. What in the fucking Christmas story are you talking about? Try it on. Try a little. They're running a little tight over there.

[H. Foley]

Sure you're not a 4x in Hawaii?

[Kevin Ryan]

Does. No, no, I'm not a 4x on Jupiter. Doesn't really fit.

[H. Foley]

Now that you go. Hold on, listen.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm standing there, it's fucking.

[H. Foley]

Why would you do it there? You didn't go into the room and do it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't have a shirt on.

[H. Foley]

As the great Gary Goldman says, you pull him aside.

[Kevin Ryan]

That shit. She should have pulled me aside.

[H. Foley]

You didn't have a shirt on before you tried it on?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I just woke up.

[H. Foley]

Are you in front of her family?

[Kevin Ryan]

I got shorts on. Ok. What do you think that's weird.

[H. Foley]

So now you're more embarrassed that the shirt doesn't fit than being topless?

[Kevin Ryan]

They've seen me topless.

[H. Foley]

That's a little weird.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's weird to have my shirt off in front of my family.

[H. Foley]

Listen, not if you're fucking Brad Pitt. Sure. You think in a New York City apartment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not at the beach. Not like, hey, I'm. I just did a cold plunge.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's how I do it. I'm in my home.

[H. Foley]

Okay, okay, I get. That's how you do it. You do? Certain.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm old school, baby.

[H. Foley]

Sure. I listen, I'm under the guys. If you have company over, I make.

[Kevin Ryan]

Spaghetti sauce in my underwear. That's how I do it.

[H. Foley]

Ok. Spicy Gallante? Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, you think so?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You just tuck the gun in, I pull it up respectable. You know where I get that from?

[H. Foley]

Laziness, I would assume.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, my high school girlfriend's dad told me that one time because I saw there was a lot of pictures of him with his shirt off. And I remember explaining to me, he's like, you know, I work hard all week and when I get home, I like to have my. I like to relax with my shirt off. And I was like, I like that.

[H. Foley]

You know, when your in laws are there, though, like, I get you do you take one thing you've heard and then apply it to the rest of your life.

[Kevin Ryan]

You think. Get back to the point here.

[H. Foley]

Dessert's good.

[Kevin Ryan]

She shouldn't have called me out and said, hey, try it on in front of everybody.

[H. Foley]

I completely agree. But you also at the time didn't have a shirt on. So it's, it's. Then the, the whole system's on trial here. What are you talking about? 100%. But in that. Guys, I thought you had a shirt on now when you were.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, I sleep in my shorts.

[H. Foley]

I get that you sleep in your shorts, but then listen, I think when you're cohabitating with people who aren't your specific family, I get to do your in laws.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very recently, I don't know, at Patti's, I'm usually in my underwear.

[H. Foley]

That's fine, I'll give you that. I'll give you that. But I think if you're at someone else's house or when there's other people at your house, you think you. I think the common courtesy. I think if we, if we called our etiquette coach, I think she would be like, yeah, you, whatever you do.

[Kevin Ryan]

Maybe you don't got a shirt on.

[H. Foley]

Sure. Is that what you're. If you're 50, you're comparing yourself to an 18 month old. What are we doing here? You want the same rules? He shits himself, I shit myself. I would, I would. Listen, speaking of family that's getting thrown around, the fact that you're walking around shirtless on that side of the family, that's. I listen. You know, how, how much, how much do we criticize certain things? And people are such. I mean, this whole show is. If I was sitting somewhere and a 500 pound man came out with no shirt on.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not 500.

[H. Foley]

I'm sending a text going, this. This motherfucker walking around fucking cooking scrambies without his shirt. That. That text is getting sent. That's all I'm saying. You would send the same thing. You know, you would too.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who wants toast?

[H. Foley]

Guy's walking around with his fucking. You got skin tags over you, man. It's like you're. It's like you're braille.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mama's got breakfast every morning.

[H. Foley]

Sure. Put a. Hey, listen. For me, for me, put a shirt on. Moving forward.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got a shirt on.

[H. Foley]

When you. Not when. Okay. Surprised. They haven't filed for divorce yet. They're drifting. The papers just.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's.

[H. Foley]

She's sleeping. They're taking her hand and signing it real quick.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've been doing my business downstairs too.

[H. Foley]

Downstairs in the lobby.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You've been dumping in the lobby. That's. Hey, that's I mean, that's better than. No, listen, I'm sure. I'm sure the super is a little upset. The doorman. The doorman ain't thrilled. But that's. Yeah, that's nice. That's nice of you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Down in the gym.

[H. Foley]

In the gym?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You walk in with a fucking newspaper under your arm. There's fucking three models on the. On the elliptical. Ladies, how you doing, huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

Keep those knees bent.

[H. Foley]

You guys need a spot, huh? Give me 45. I'll be.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'll be in the can for a couple of minutes.

[H. Foley]

Get your own fucking Lysol spray. Okay, well, you're in it. You're. You're a specific guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is. This is going back a little bit, but I. They. I guess they hadn't seen the Four Seasons, the show, and so we've been watching that. I tell you, man, that Tina Fey.

[H. Foley]

She'S something, you know? Listen, I. This is a little.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's not really our speed either.

[H. Foley]

That's good. It's good. That's good. Actors. She's good writing.

[Kevin Ryan]

She's got everybody. I don't know one person that hasn't seen that. Billy. This is great.

[H. Foley]

You know what?

[Kevin Ryan]

The Italian guy is so good.

[H. Foley]

Sure. Really good. What? I just crushed this. Past couple of days only Murders in the building. Have you seen that? Have you watched that? Are you upset with it or something? I don't know why? You just took a swig like you were.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I'm not upset with it at all.

[H. Foley]

You're not thrilled with it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Read for something.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I didn't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, yeah, that's right. I think you helped me with that audition.

[H. Foley]

Who'd you read for? Martin Short, who's fantastic in it, by the way.

[Kevin Ryan]

Gave it to goddamn Meryl Streep.

[H. Foley]

You believe that broad? Put his shirt on. You're shirtless in the Reed. What's up? I'm H. Foley. I sleep without my shirt on, and I don't care who knows it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I can't remember what it was. It was pretty juicy, though. Would have been. All right.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

I have been wanting to watch it.

[H. Foley]

Listen, Martin Short is.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, come on.

[H. Foley]

But it's. It's. It's so good because he's playing an ex, old famous guy, which is funny. So, like, he's at. So it's like. It's just like a heightened version of a Upper west side successful guy who's not successful.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's awesome.

[H. Foley]

And he's just. I mean, he's killing. He's so funny.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'D love to be at a point where I could call Martin Short. Marty. Marty. How you doing?

[H. Foley]

All right, let's get into it. Speaking of, you know, family beef, me and you right now?

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Bumping heads, brotherly love.

[Kevin Ryan]

Then we have a nice talk this weekend. I thought we did.

[H. Foley]

I don't think so.

[Kevin Ryan]

Maybe it was a few days ago or a couple. A week ago. When did we have a nice talk?

[H. Foley]

On the phone.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Hey, what's going on?

[H. Foley]

That was a pretty bad call. That's a good call for you. You did lose your fistball. He kept trying to extend the call going. What'd you say? What was that? I hear something in the background. I'm going up. It's just saying goodbye. All right, because you're breaking up. I just know you want to double check. He said whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

You see my new Hawaii shirt in a few weeks once the Manjaro settles in.

[H. Foley]

All right, let's get into it. Well, gang, like we said, it's gosh darn family episode. It's family fights part two. Like we said, we had so many. I mean, you know, we are the cloth. We are cut from all ever. You guys have all submitted your questions and it's just like obviously you have insane stories about your family because you listen to the show and. Or watch the show. It just makes sense. I don't know. I mean, I guess I have a couple of buddies whose family that are fans. Fans of the show. But through knowing us, you know what it means, like friends from college or whatever. Take Phil X, of course, I don't think he's. He watches it as like he's at the zoo watching two gorillas.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

You know what I mean.

[Kevin Ryan]

Phil X, good friend of. Good friend of Kippy's. Very, very, very, very well put together guide. Does very well. Got beautiful family.

[H. Foley]

Met him in college.

[Kevin Ryan]

Does well. Smart guy.

[H. Foley]

Makes like Kiji.

[Kevin Ryan]

Does good. Does good.

[H. Foley]

The rest of you heathens. All right, let's get into it. This one's from $10 Homie Jr. $10 Homie. Never had one red before they had their six kids. My mom made a chicken salad for a party at my dad's family's house. Grandma and uncle were talking shit on my mom's chicken salad. That's tough. And dad got pissed. It got physical with my uncle, who was on steroids at the time, and choked out my dad. Both parents had to leave with their pride shot. Listen, I've.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you bring the chicken salad with you?

[H. Foley]

I. Oh, that's it. No, I mean, you Got it. You're fucking slapping your husband in the face to wake him up. You're not worried about. Also, they ain't gonna eat it. They're gonna. That thing's gonna be in the garbage disposal too.

[Kevin Ryan]

Probably had raisins in it or some shit.

[H. Foley]

I, I, I've been relatively every person in this thing.

[Kevin Ryan]

Physical.

[H. Foley]

No, no, I'm just saying, like I've been making fun of something I shouldn't have been making fun of.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's never. Has there been physical. Not with just you and your brother.

[H. Foley]

Like at what church or something?

[Kevin Ryan]

You never saw two uncles go at it?

[H. Foley]

No, no.

[Kevin Ryan]

Getting, I mean, dude getting choked out by your, your, the uncle over chicken salad.

[H. Foley]

That's the whole thing. It's not over chicken salad. You're in therapy. You should know that. That fight's been brewing for 40 fucking years.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's a reason I take my shirt off.

[H. Foley]

We'll get to the bottom of it someday. Two sessions a week. Yeah. I mean, that's tough. I, you gotta leave, right?

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean?

[H. Foley]

I don't, I don't know who like, also at the same time, your hair's.

[Kevin Ryan]

All messed up, your face is bright.

[H. Foley]

Puffing an inhaler. Real. Give me my pu. I think it's, you know, but they're just on the chicken salad. If they're like this dumb bit, you know, that's one thing, but the on the meal, that's not, that's not a fist fight offense.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's crazy.

[H. Foley]

Also, especially if your brother's on roids. You, man, you make sure that don't get physical.

[Kevin Ryan]

I bet he sat down and had a nice meal after that.

[H. Foley]

He's got his shirt.

[Kevin Ryan]

Anybody else got something to say?

[H. Foley]

Yeah, he's running, huh? He's leaning potato.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sound ain't that good either.

[H. Foley]

Leaning out the front door. Anybody else looking at the neighbors and shit. Damn, that's a tough one.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I mean, that's unforgivable too. I got, I'm fighting him again for sure when he's off the juice, when the cancer sets in, get him.

[H. Foley]

When he least fucking hit him in when he's sleeping. That's like, that's, yeah, that'd be tough for me to get over. I mean, me getting beat up, whatever that's happened, I've bounced back from that. But trash in my wife's fucking, you know, cooking, that's tough. You can't all then be in the same room at a dinner. That will for me, that kind of stuff always lingers. I'll Always remember that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You know what I mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

We always played by the rule of, you know, at like potluck, s kind of things like that with family, you know, you might have a cousin, you know, exploring veganism, vegetarianism.

[H. Foley]

Keep it vague, whatever. Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

And, you know, there's a side dish that shows up, you know, crunchy, in a weird Tupperware container. You know, they were maybe using glass before anybody else.

[H. Foley]

That shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's when that. Seeing something in a glass dish in the. In the. In the early 2000s shooting, which is from the future.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know, you just.

[H. Foley]

You take a little scoop naf with that. I go. I wait to hear this.

[Kevin Ryan]

Chia seeds are great. What is that? Beetroot? I use the stalks, too.

[H. Foley]

It's buckwheat three ways. You know what I'm saying?

[Kevin Ryan]

What am I, a koala? What am I eating here?

[H. Foley]

Bamboo shoots, eucalyptus.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember my girl trying to pit me. Bamboo shoots to me. What are you, a pogger?

[H. Foley]

I thought you were a panda. That's tough.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can't. We got time. About mando, baby.

[H. Foley]

Love that mando gang.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's the season.

[H. Foley]

Oh, baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

Big boys, if you're out there, you're struggling with this heat and humidity, I got great news for. For you. Mando has just launched something that's gonna take the sweat control to another level, baby. We're introducing the Mando deodorant. Plus sweat control. Solid stick. Yeah. It's double protection. Finally, you got deodorant control you love from Mando. And he also got the power of sweat control. And let me tell you something. In these trying times, I need it. I used the Mando wipes the other day. I was in here all day. I had a couple of spots. I. I was a little ripe, as my father would say. And I hit myself with the Mando. Whoo. Fresh and clean, you know what I mean?

[H. Foley]

Top on the sink. It's swamp ass season, baby. You've been warned. Clinical strength, sweat control. They got one swipe and you're good to go. This isn't your typical deodorant. It's clinical strength. Two times better than controlling sweat than standard deodorant. It controls both sweat and odor for 72 hours. And after just 12 hours, underarm sweat was reduced by 92%. This stuff works. Daddy ain't lying to you. Mando starter pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant cream tube deodorant. Two free products of your choice, like the mini body wash and deodorant wipes. I'm a big and me and a big man are fan of deodorant wipes and free shipping As a special offer for listeners new customers get 20% off site wide with our exclusive code. Use the code [e-mail] for 20% off site wide plus free shipping. Shopmando S H o P M a N D O.com Please support the show and tell them that the boy sent you. Mando's got you covered with deodorant plus sweat control. Say goodbye to sweaty stains and hello to long lasting freshness.

[Kevin Ryan]

Kimber, you a cash app man?

[H. Foley]

Oh, I'm a cash app man.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're a cash app family over here.

[H. Foley]

Yes sir, gang.

[Kevin Ryan]

Making money moves should be easy. That's why there's cash app. It's safe, it's fast and honestly, it's more personalized than other apps out there. No extra hoops to jump through, no extra stress. All the tools are right there in front of you to help you get your cash a move.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Plus any money with cash app actually feels safe. They're all they look out for you if something seems sketchy or they see you might be sending money to a potential scammer which is big out there. People are trying to scam you. Cash app has your back. They'll warn you and make you think twice before you hit send. It's like having a personal bodyguard for your cage. You can spice it up. You can even spice up your payments with custom text, stamps and backgrounds. Because why should paying your friend for brunch be so boring? Send whatever you need done. And for whatever reason, whatever insane reason you don't already have Cash app. Just download it from your iPhone's app store. Sign up, enter the code garbage in your profile, send $5 to a friend and listen to this. You'll get $10 just for getting started, baby. Talk about putting some cash in your packet for a limited time only new cash app users can use our exclusive code to earn some additional cash. For real? There's no catch. Just download cash app and sign up our exclusive referral code. Garbage in your profile and send $5 to a friend within 14 days and you'll get $10 dropped into your account. Do it. We were a big family on you. We talk, listen. We're talking shit on somebody.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Someone's getting trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

Your menus are always regulated too. There's no no, no. But I'm saying there's no chance.

[H. Foley]

Have you ever been to a fucking Applebee's that's the menu.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what I'm saying.

[H. Foley]

That's what you're.

[Kevin Ryan]

We.

[H. Foley]

You're getting a. You're getting buffalo chicken dip.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what I'm saying.

[H. Foley]

Niecy will do if Niecy's getting wacky. And these, now, these have been tried and true for a couple. I remember the first time she was bringing Easter. I was like, I had to carry them into my uncle's. I almost dropped them just to see.

[Kevin Ryan]

Bringing what they were.

[H. Foley]

They're asparagus rolled in, like, rye bread with cream cheese. Apparently, they're amazing. But I remember I went. She was like, grab detrait. I went, what? Lady, you're gonna. You're gonna get slaughtered. You're gonna be a bloodbath in here. And I was thinking. I was like, we should better be chocolate in this. We should try. You're gonna drop them, not let them get. Not make them in a house. You know what I mean? Ah, they look so good. Make sure the dog runs over, starts licking them up. But everybody loves them.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're throwing snow on them.

[H. Foley]

There's like, sesame seed. I don't even know what they are. But she makes them once a year and they go. But that's about as. It's. Buffalo chicken dip, cheesesteak pierogies. You know, the hoagie dip. A hoagie dip, a taco dip, a lot of dips.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

A big.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what I'm saying. There's never really.

[H. Foley]

No one's taking a swing.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what I mean.

[H. Foley]

No one's taking a swing.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I couldn't imagine.

[H. Foley]

I mean, palate wise, we're not really there. My one uncle made hummus one time and no one. They call him Aunt Mike. You know, it's a tough. He made a tahini and a no bake cheesecake one time. I thought the.

[Kevin Ryan]

I thought they weren't in the oven.

[H. Foley]

I thought they were gonna riot.

[Kevin Ryan]

Say, you get salmonola.

[H. Foley]

You want me to eat uncooked eggs?

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, man, that's.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, there's no big. And even. That he started doing on his own. He didn't bring that. We found out he was doing that on his own.

[Kevin Ryan]

Has anyone in your family other than me and maybe your brother ever had a brussel sprouts before? Yeah, I don't know what a cucumber is.

[H. Foley]

It's just. Weird pickle you got.

[Kevin Ryan]

It sucks.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, we're very, you know, meat and potatoes kind of team, which it's tough for me to break out and that's why, like, I was picky for my family.

[Kevin Ryan]

And you're the only artist in your family.

[H. Foley]

I'm wearing a Luke Combs hat. Artist? Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Man's an artist.

[H. Foley]

They're all. Yeah, I'm saying I'm. Yeah, no, they're all very blue collar. There's a couple who have, you know, I got one uncle who does something with software.

[Kevin Ryan]

I have thespians in my family, talented individuals, people that work in the art space. So you might see it, you know, you might see a Brussels sprout casserole.

[H. Foley]

Brussels sprout cast. That sounds like it sucks. I don't care who's making it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sunflower seeds and golden raisins. Get that off to the side.

[H. Foley]

Let's. Let's make room for the pierogies, will you?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's on a chair.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, no, most. Yeah, most everybody is relatively blue collar. A lot of, you know, teachers, nurses. My. The cousins generation has done better, but it's still all in. Very blue collar.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You know, owns a landscaping company, owns a plumbing company, hairdresser, stuff like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

That reminds me, did I ever tell you that my one buddy's mom was a teacher? She used to Vic the stuff from Victor. Stuff. She used to take the stuff from the cafeteria. You never heard Vic? Vic it? Never heard Vic?

[H. Foley]

No. You're looking for fucking lefty. What are you talking about? Vic it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, Vic.

[H. Foley]

What, are you boosting cars later too? What the fuck are you talking about? Victor? Listen, I've been hanging out with you for 15 years. You ain't never dropped Victor.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Huh?

[H. Foley]

I'm not saying. It's not a word. You're getting me wrong.

[Kevin Ryan]

Let's say in high school. Maybe that's why I thought it relates.

[H. Foley]

To this in slang, especially among criminals. Vic can refer to a victim of crime. No, no. All right, so you were wrong on. You were lying and you were wrong. She used.

[Kevin Ryan]

She used to grift.

[H. Foley]

Grift. Steel.

[Kevin Ryan]

Steel.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was trying to.

[H. Foley]

What are we doing? We're not surrounded. We're not connected. She used to take.

[Kevin Ryan]

She used to take from the lunchroom, like, little apple juices and all that kind of stuff that was always in his fridge. That was their main source of, like, snacks. Yeah, yeah, for little kids too. They were tiny.

[H. Foley]

Never does it. That's like what you eat or drink when you're looking for what you're gonna eat or drink. You know what I mean?

[C]

Port.

[Kevin Ryan]

Four of them in a big glass.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, it's even then. It's got a The container I gotta have. I gotta have my. I gotta have the portion that I've had in my head. You know what I mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

If you give me two crackers out of a pack of like, even those cheddar and peanut butter crackers, you give me two, I don't need to eat. But if I open it up, I'm eating the whole thing.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

And if you give me two. I'm just going, now I gotta get my own bag.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, speaking of which, With. With the. Not that it's that big of a deal, but I almost lost it a little bit. They needed a cup for the baby to give the baby a bath. You know, you sit in the tub and you pour it. Use a cup to, you know, wash his hair and shit like that. She grabs my fucking. My big Texan cup that we got down at the big Texan. The big plastic cup. That's my drink cup.

[H. Foley]

So you wouldn't use that again?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. It was in the bath.

[H. Foley]

Listen, you've done grosser shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's my cup, though.

[H. Foley]

I get it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Could have used one of her cups. It was my big Texan cup. It's all. It's peeled perfectly. Put anything in there. Water tastes.

[H. Foley]

I got a Lime Ricky cup. Lime Ricky is a. A drink from Curly's Fries. Right across from Sam's Pizza. You get a Lime Ricky. I don't even know if I'm saying that right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, Lime Ricky.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, it's like a lemonade or like a lime aid.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is there booze in it?

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, okay. You mean like a limeade.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, they call it a Lime Ricky.

[Kevin Ryan]

I had a limeade at one of the state fairs. Delicious. Has a nice tank to it. Better than lemonade. I would say.

[H. Foley]

It's just. Lime Ricky's a cocktail. But we will. We do them straight up. They say they sell them straight up.

[Kevin Ryan]

But it's lime and sugar.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

Water.

[H. Foley]

I'm just saying I got the cup from about 48 years ago and I still got. It's in my. It made it up to my apartment somehow. I guess I took it up from the shore at some point or.

[Kevin Ryan]

How would you fall. If I use that for a urine sample? They're not really comparison.

[H. Foley]

No, that's not at all. What the fuck is wrong with you? But that's got a crack in. I'm saying. I understand. That's got a crack down the side and I still won't give that. I get. I get what you're saying.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

It means a lot to me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Means a lot to me.

[H. Foley]

I had a Flyers one from back in the day. It was like a playoff game or something.

[Kevin Ryan]

I go so far as I. I will have a glass of water in it with ice, and I'll put the cup back in the freezer with the ice in it and just leave it in there so that when I take it out, the ice is rock cold and it's cold on the bottom and I could fill it up again.

[H. Foley]

True artist, you know that?

[Kevin Ryan]

Thank you.

[H. Foley]

Mm. All right, let's see here. This one's from $10 Nut Buster. Okay. Cops were looking for my meth head uncle. Great start. He ran into my mom's hotel room, which was our place of residency at the time.

[Kevin Ryan]

In between properties at the moment, Officer.

[H. Foley]

Ah, that's. I've hung out with people who were living. Who were living in motels. It's.

[Kevin Ryan]

In high school. It's pretty sweet.

[H. Foley]

It's a vibe. I remember. Yeah, I told you there was three. It was down in Wildwood. They were staying at one of them, and I walked by it every time.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Three hot girls I didn't stand a chance with. They were like cousins to my buddiers doing drugs.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sitting on this side of a motel bed that are facing each other. Man, you really gotta muscle through that. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Just hit the light bulb and get out of there.

[H. Foley]

I remember one time we were sharing.

[Kevin Ryan]

You have a light bulb going around the group. It's a low.

[H. Foley]

Jesus Christ. We were big, long ones from behind a supermarket. Whoa. Somebody light me up. You got a guy three feet away. I remember once we were at the Seashell Motel. I believe it was the Seashell Motel down in Wild. And we had adjoining rooms to crackheads, like, they were just there doing drugs for, you know, and they broke in and stole this girl. Like, the door just opened, you know what I mean? Like, there was no lock. And we went. We were underage, so I think we probably filled up, you know, some bottles of rum and coke and, like, went walking on the boardwalk or whatever. And this girl Lena left her, like, a purse there with, like three or 400 bucks in it, which it's like, duh, duh. I mean, we are for. You know. First of all, we knew there was adjoining room. And these crackheads just came in and ransacked all. Everybody shit while they were gone. And she's like. We walked in. We're like, someone's been in the room. She's like, someone stole three of my $300. And I was. Did we look? I remember looking over. Someone, like, went and knocked on their door and it opened up and I was like. We were like, let's go, let's get him. And like, dude, we opened the door. There was one guy climbing on the roof. I'm like, yo, you guys need more towels in here? Yeah, it was like the ring dude coming out of the tv.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was like, that three spider man in there.

[H. Foley]

It was either. It was either the seashell or the lolly. I can't. The lollipop. I can't remember.

[Kevin Ryan]

Lollipop. You know Rudy, right?

[H. Foley]

Although they all have like, doo woppy name.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, they're cute down there. Wildwood. You don't know Wildwood, New Jersey. You still got a little time in the summer. Get down here.

[H. Foley]

So the ones in the crest are like the Tahini Safari and like all this stuff, and they're all like still. They're like so themey and cheesy, but in a cool way.

[Kevin Ryan]

They had to keep them that way, right?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's other side, historic landmarks.

[H. Foley]

I mean, they're getting knocked down left and right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Kevin Ryan got shot down in room 609 right up there. Girl from Gwyneth Mercy had nothing to do with him.

[H. Foley]

A picture of me called him gross. He's accusing me of stealing 300 bucks. I could have Sexy. Sold. $300.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got three T shirts on. It's the middle of the summer. It's a layered look.

[H. Foley]

Hides the boobs and the sweat stains. Oh, wait. Ok. He ran into my mom's motel room, which was our place of residency, and drew on his face with a Sharpie. He walked outside and when the cops approached him, he said, nah, that ain't me. You're looking for my twin brother. I'm the one with the tattoos on my face. The cops called his bluff and he went back to prison. Listen, I gotta give it to him. That guy that is thinking quick and fucking trying. What else do you got?

[Kevin Ryan]

Trying to draw that Mike Tyson tattoo.

[H. Foley]

On your eye real quick. Every. You're writing words. They're all backwards because you're in the mirror. You gotta think. Well, you don't have. You run in there. You know they're coming.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

So he does the good thing. It gets out. He doesn't want to put the kid and his sister in danger.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

So he's like, I'm. I just give me five minutes. Let me get my fucking costume cook in here.

[Kevin Ryan]

If you had a beard you shaved it real quick to be all right.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Or throw on one of your sister's dresses or something. Yeah, that would be all right.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know, looking for my brother.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, sure. Get a. Get a heater going.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's great, though.

[H. Foley]

That's fucking Bonkos. Good for him, you know, he's trying. Listen, you tried.

[Kevin Ryan]

Then you gotta go to Central Booking with that shit on your face. That Sharpie ain't coming off.

[H. Foley]

People think you're crazy, too. I'll fuck with you. That's true.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'll write on your face.

[H. Foley]

Um. All right, let's see here. This one's from Sergeant Bluechew. Hey, fellas. Never had one Red. When I was a young fat kid, I was on a family road trip with my mother. She cut me off from having more donuts. I definitely did not need more donuts. I told my dad to leave her on the side of the road and that I didn't love her. I'm not sure what exactly happened after that, but I was disciplined accordingly. Shout out, mom, I love you. Talk about burning it all down for a couple. And a couple of donuts, a couple.

[Kevin Ryan]

Of Frog Hollows, and I don't love her.

[H. Foley]

Oh, dude, that's fucking. Talk about going for the jugular just like this, bitch. Oh, God, that's so funny. That's like. That's a level of fat kiddedness where you would. That's shame. That's embarrassed. You got caught with your hand in the cookie jar and you're going, fucking leave this.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got yelled. I got yelled at. One time. I felt like I had gotten bamboozled by my parents. It was a betrayal. It was a summer night. It was a nice summer night. I think we had a. Had a nice day. We lived in Wilkes Barre. Me and my brother went up to bed. I came downstairs maybe like an hour later. Some water, something like that. My parents are sitting out on the front porch, you know, kind of watching the sun. You know, the sun finishing going down. You know, they got their two kids up there sleeping, and they got a big bag of M M's that I ain't seen.

[H. Foley]

You're. Which, if I know you, I was emotional devastation.

[Kevin Ryan]

I had a knife in my back, and I go, where'd you guys get those?

[H. Foley]

Show your fat ass.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I didn't. I'm like, you didn't share them with us. You guys are pigs.

[H. Foley]

Oh, I want to fucking drown you in the pool, dude.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think I made it halfway back into the door. Fucking. My dad grabbed me like this, and Held me up like I was a puppy. Like. What'd you fucking say?

[H. Foley]

You are such an a.

[Kevin Ryan]

Go apologize to your mother.

[H. Foley]

Called your mom and dad pig.

[Kevin Ryan]

There are Peanut M and M's too. That's why I hate them. Fuck that.

[H. Foley]

That's insane. I mean, hey, she used to do.

[Kevin Ryan]

That a lot with the Chocolate Twizzlers too.

[H. Foley]

Because your fat ass ate them all.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. For the record, she loves a Chocolate Twizzler. Or maybe Hershey's Chocolate. That's. That's her vice. That and straw. The frozen strawberry bars. The straw. You know, the strawberry ice bars I came from what they're called? Delicious. Loves them.

[H. Foley]

Budgie. Budgie man sells them, yes. Fruit bar.

[Kevin Ryan]

Fruit bar. That's what they are. She loves them in Chocolate Twizzlers. She'd always stash them around. Fucking all for one in here. The goddamn Three Musketeers. Wearing the Foxhole together. You're holding out on the root beers and the Chocolate Twizzlers.

[H. Foley]

It's always more, more, more. You always want everything that's available and.

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't understand it at the time.

[H. Foley]

You can't. You can't be a six year old addict. You're a little fat ass, that's what that is. You're not an addict. You're not. It's not like you're dealing with past trauma.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're fucking going to AA meetings. Got my coin?

[H. Foley]

Sex Addicts Anonymous. Hello. What's up, lady?

[Kevin Ryan]

Keep rubbing my willy on the linoleum floor.

[H. Foley]

Can't get enough of it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hi, I'm Henry. I'm a freak.

[H. Foley]

I'm waiting for my balls to drop. Yeah, I mean, that's. You know, that's. That's you in a nutshell.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. The donuts made me think of it.

[H. Foley]

All right. This one's from heater breath. $10. Stay colder. Never have one read. Is it garbage to miss a day of school because your dad's truck got repoed? It's happened in my family a couple of times, sure. I was getting ready for school one morning when my dad rushed into my room to tell me that his truck had been stolen. My mom called me in sick, but I still should have known better about it being stolen after the hour long argument my parents had about the bills in the kitchen. Man, overall, it was a great day for me. I played Guitar Hero 2 and watched Speed on DVD.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's funny how you remember that shit.

[H. Foley]

It wasn't. It wasn't until a decade later that I put the pieces together that it it was being a repo job rather than a truck heist. Anyways, what are you gonna do about it?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what he said. It got stolen.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that's my. I mean, we were told it got traded in. Think it was a. I forget.

[Kevin Ryan]

Was either traded in.

[H. Foley]

It. Was it by the feds. Sure it was. I didn't know. I just remember being like, you showed up in, like, a Dodge Neon to pick me up from school. And I'm like, where's the Jeep? I might even been like an aviator spending money we didn't have, clearly. And he's like, yeah, it's in the shop. And then like, it's out at the farm. I was sick. Yeah. And it was just then, like, I didn't think about it. And then somebody popped a bubble, like, six months later because I think I was turning 16 and I was getting lied to. I'm like, yeah, I'll give you the Jeep. And I'm like, so I'm like, telling my mom, like, yeah, I'm getting a Jeep.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, Meanwhile, it got repoed for your quinceanera.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. And then, you know, reality hit it, and I got a $600 Chevy Luminan with the paint missing.

[Kevin Ryan]

You can have the Jeep, but you got to go to a police auction out by the airport in Jersey to get it.

[H. Foley]

Get it from. For change. You know, this might be all right. Get it for cheaper. Yeah. And it was like, it wasn't until, like, I was. It was months later. It was like, you fucking idiot. That got repoed.

[Kevin Ryan]

Those bills in the kitchen, bro. Those bills in the kitchen. Helix mattresses, baby. Dang. Do yourself a favor. You hear us always talk about them. Why not jump into the deep end and get yourself a Helix mattress? It's the best night's sleep you're ever going to have. You go on the website, you. You take their quiz 2, 3 minutes, they figure out how you sleep. There's science behind this. Do you sleep on your side? Do you sleep on your back? Do you sleep hot? Do you sleep cold? Are you a small guy? Are you a bigger guy? Helix has the mattress for you. It's the last mattress you're ever going to own, and you are going to love it.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, get out of Nana's mattress. That mattress you got in the will. The thing. She's dead. The thing you found in storage. Get out of there. Get a nice, clean, good, grown up mattress. Be an adult for once in your life. Like, this is the first adult thing I bought was a mattress I didn't buy it. They were nice enough to send me one and let me tell you, I was funny.

[Kevin Ryan]

That is the first adult thing we did was was get Helix mattresses.

[H. Foley]

It's fantastic, gang. I mean, we've been saying it for years. Helix. Helix. Helix. Go to helixsleep.com garbage for 27% off site wide. Exclusive for listeners of Are youe Garbage? That's helixsleep.com garbage for 27% off site wide helixleep.com garbage do it.

[C]

This episode is brought to you by LifeLock. Between two factor authentication, strong passwords, and a VPN, you try to be in control of how your info is protected. But many other places also have it, and they might not be as careful. That's why LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats. If your identity is stolen, they'll fix it, guaranteed, or your money back. Save up to 40% your first year. Visit lifelock.com podcast for 40% off. Terms apply.

[H. Foley]

I find myself having anxiety of I can't open the mail because the mail was such a. I can't even check it because the mail was such a point of contention. And meanwhile, you don't get any more bills in the mail. I mean, I'll still get shit, but it's like, I can't check the mail. I can't open the mail. I fucking just. It's such level. I remember going through it at one point. It was my. My dad let it stack up five feet. And this is when, like, there's no food. Like, like, car's gone. Jeeps good. The jeep's gone. The fucking. There's not a lot of food in that. Like, we're like. It's like, I'm old enough to be like, oh, we're broke. Like, there's no fucking cash. And I remember, stat, I'm like, do you need this stuff? I'm, like, trying to bring it to his front door. Like, you gotta just.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is final notice, dude.

[H. Foley]

A lot of red stuff. I'm like, you that. And that's when it was. I'm not here. The phone would be. The house line would be ringing off the hook. And it was, I ain't here.

[Kevin Ryan]

Start asking for you. What the.

[H. Foley]

You write my name down again.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, Bill's in the kitchen. Patty was at her cruelest when she was sitting there making it all work.

[H. Foley]

My mom. I got to give it to Denise. My mom just kind of resigned to the fact of we're living off credit cards. I'm making minimum payments until we get out of this. That was. She never got.

[Kevin Ryan]

Kevin's band hits it big. The devil sticks, takes off.

[H. Foley]

Shout out to guilt by association or sound lab.

[Kevin Ryan]

Guilty by association.

[H. Foley]

Guilt by association. All right. She played it real cool. She never got stressed at that. It was. She was just. I remember just being like, whatever. I remember the car, the credit card getting declined and, you know, back to school shopping at Old Navy next door. Dude, Old Navy shutting you down is. Think you're giving that. They're giving them clothes away. The $3 T shirt, man, it's Old.

[Kevin Ryan]

Navy still popping like that.

[H. Foley]

What do you mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Yeah, I think so. They still banging.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was my. That was. That was the last.

[H. Foley]

That was. That was cool, Foley. 60% off summer steals.

[Kevin Ryan]

There you go. No, that was the last. That was the. That was the helicopter rung that I hung on to before I went over to dxl.

[H. Foley]

Oh, you could get it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I could get away. I could get away with it. They might have a three. You know, they might. You could get away with it over. Over at Old Navy for a little while. Yeah. Then I had to go ashore. Permission to go to dxl, sir? Get out of here.

[H. Foley]

That was. You used to brag about that stuff a lot, too. What? Old Navy? Yeah, we'd like. You'd show up, somebody shit on your shirt because you were big into graphic.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, they were the first one to put the elastic in the jeans.

[H. Foley]

As far as the joggers.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, no, the jeans.

[H. Foley]

The jeans were stretchy for thick girls. Old Navy.

[Kevin Ryan]

When that technology caught up, Jesus saved a whole generation of fat guys.

[H. Foley]

Sure. Head. At the right time, you're looking back, you're like. You're like. You're like.

[Kevin Ryan]

You ever put on regular Je A? No. Give.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I bought a. I bought a pair of Selvedge denim recently. I told you, no American Made. I'm trying to go American.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you remember the jeans you gave me that had the fold up? They were. They were my cool jeans for a while, those things. It was like getting into a washing machine. There was no giving those things.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, yeah. Do you remember that? It was a couple episodes ago, maybe, or four or five. Whatever. You. You were. We were making fun of me for my clothes or something, and you said banana Republic. And I was like, no way was I a Banana Republic guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right.

[H. Foley]

The only thing. And it reminded me, the only thing I ever bought at Banana Republic, I had a hundred dollar gift card there. And you know what it was? You know it very well. Oh, that green Jacket, Green jacket that got passed through every shitty Philadelphia.

[Kevin Ryan]

It went like from you to me to Reggie Conquest. Dave Temple. Dave Temple had a reseller.

[H. Foley]

I saw Dave Temple like a year ago. Rocking it. I went to like menu and hard. That went to like. Literally it went through. There was 11 people in a group text. And the second it got too big for me, it literally went to you. And then you and Reggie were living together. Reggie took it, man, that day.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Gotta say, that was 90 something dollars.

[Kevin Ryan]

Reggie has that Barney's coat that my brother bought that I look awesome in. I don't know what happened.

[H. Foley]

Trench coat?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, not the trench coat.

[H. Foley]

You did not look good.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was just Barney's coat that my brother bought 25 years ago. And I looked. Zipper was broke, but it looked all right. Slender.

[H. Foley]

I don't remember. I never remember you looking all right. Anything. You had that step up. He used to wear a red step. It was a red shirt. At this point you're pushing. You're 40 something.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, about 40.

[H. Foley]

And you got a red shirt that says step up. And it's got a ladder on it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Step up, Luke.

[H. Foley]

Step up. Step up, dude.

[Kevin Ryan]

Step up.

[H. Foley]

There's that. There's that picture of us at the. At the Raven Lounge four year anniversary. Do you remember? We went back or maybe we were still living in Philly.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I was living in Philly because I had gotten into an argument with the owner and he wasn't going to let me come to it. It was something about. It was something about the production of what we wanted to do this and he wouldn't. Couldn't let us or whatever.

[H. Foley]

And I'm saying, fireworks. He's like, dude, you're in the attic of a bar.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's when I wore the step up shirt with the. I had a green henley that I wore underneath it.

[H. Foley]

Yes. And I'm wearing. I'm wearing Phil X's polo that I wore first. Dude. And I have like another color undershirt. I have like a gray undershirt under it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Look at us now, baby. The height of fashion.

[H. Foley]

Lucky you got a shirt on. I'm wearing free merch. Oh, God. So funny. So funny.

[Kevin Ryan]

Great question though.

[H. Foley]

All right, let's see here. This one's from data lack $10 homie. Never want to have one read. I haven't spoken to two of my sisters for 16 years. Jesus. Because I want. I called one out for borrowing money from my dad to get the house when she threw him. Okay, hold on, let me. This is a little run on sentences here.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right.

[H. Foley]

I haven't spoken to two of my sisters for 16 years because I called one out for borrowing money for my dad to get a house.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

She threw a Memorial Day party. Okay, Barbecue, whatever, at the new house and gloated that her and her husband did it all themselves. I get you not letting that be able to fucking slide.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wow.

[H. Foley]

Cuz that is a thing with Dirtbag. It's like if you take the hand that listen every. We're all in the same pool. If you grab a. If there's a. If there's a noodle floating and you grab the noodle. It is what it is. But it is the dirt bag badge of honor to be like, nah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

He goes. I said nope. I was with dad when you asked him for 10g odds over the phone. They both kicked me out and the one cried. I laughed and haven't missed them since. That's. I respect the move, of course, because it is the dirt. There's so many inherent dirt bag things here. One, you got to borrow the money to get the house. That is what it is. Family helps family. It is what you know.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just want to thank my dad for helping us out with this. Love you so much.

[H. Foley]

That would have smooth ever the nobody would have said shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

But then to lie about it. Sure, I respect the move. That's their move. Hey, fucking go down with the ship.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. I lied to Patty. Co signed the car for five years.

[H. Foley]

When it was her car.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. You were lying to me about that. And I knew the truth. Well, I still. I give her money for the easy pass. I used to yell at me, she gets it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I did give her money for the easy pass.

[H. Foley]

Are you still on her phone plan?

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[H. Foley]

I kick you off after 50, so you should have your own family by now.

[Kevin Ryan]

Still go to the pediatrician.

[H. Foley]

I did for way too long. I was. I was out of college, I think, and I went getting STD checked by a fucking on a race car.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ben still the smallest dick in the office.

[H. Foley]

Except that lady. So lying about it trash. And then not being able to let it slide is also. Yeah, that. That is four let also shout out to Pops got ten jihad's laying around. He's willing to break you off coming in.

[Kevin Ryan]

You don't get a little shout out for that.

[H. Foley]

You gotta shout him out, you know, Giving a speech too.

[Kevin Ryan]

Giving a speech. Come on, man. Memorial Day too. He's probably in the service.

[H. Foley]

Sure. I know.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was fucked. I would have caught 16 years is too long, you know, But I would have called him out, too, if.

[H. Foley]

Listen, I don't know if I would have in the moment, but you're definitely. I'm definitely getting another sixer in me and running my fucking mouth. For sure. That's happening.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. They said about doing it on her.

[H. Foley]

I was there. I'd start like, it's 40 grand. She is.

[Kevin Ryan]

I. Like, I was there when. I was there when you called that. I was there.

[H. Foley]

That's great, man. Also calling it jihad. Shout out to it.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know he had a plate in his hand when he said that. Plate of beans and a hot dog.

[H. Foley]

That's a paper play for sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[H. Foley]

All right. This one's from the fuzzy clam. $10, homie. Never have one red. Someone had to take the mic away from my cousin while he was making his best man speech for his brother. He was trashing the bride. P.S. this ended up starting a whole fist fight between the family. That ain't great. I don't understand the.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's not the time nor the place. No matter how you feel. Everybody knows how I feel about the best man speech. You get in, you get out.

[H. Foley]

2 minutes, 10 seconds even. Like, I've never seen a long good one. Guys, girls, and I've seen some really good one. Like, really meaningful ones. I just hate them to my core. It's like. I don't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's an art form.

[H. Foley]

I know, but it should. We should do away. I. I get that you're saying something, but it's like there's so much pressure on it. The people who give them don't have fun. It's so much pressure on them. It's not till later, so they're like. They don't get to enjoy it. It's just so much. Just do a pre. Pre taper, a mid roll or something. You know what I mean? Brought to you by Bluetooth. I don't know. It's just. They're so unenjoyed. It seems like you're not. It's not like a joining of families. And like, you have to give this. It's like. Like these people are never gonna fucking see each other ever again. You're gonna cross paths.

[Kevin Ryan]

Love you. Love you. Thanks for coming. You're the best. Talk to you soon. Bye.

[H. Foley]

I would argue you don't even. What's the. That's all given to me. That's all understood.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think there's a lot of things in. In weddings and shit like that. Those traditions that should go away.

[H. Foley]

Like what? Fly everybody to Hawaii?

[Kevin Ryan]

The thank you card.

[H. Foley]

You still didn't send them, did you? You didn't send them, did you? Oh, my God.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is that bad?

[H. Foley]

I mean, I don't care.

[Kevin Ryan]

You didn't get me none.

[H. Foley]

Yes, I did. Yes. Yes, I did.

[Kevin Ryan]

I did it all on my own.

[H. Foley]

That's Last I checked, you had five layovers to get there in the back of the bus. I still need to be compensated for that. Also, I think we owe Luke money, too. I'm pretty sure we do. We got to straighten Luke out. Great time.

[Kevin Ryan]

Get you some language. It's all right.

[H. Foley]

All right, let's see here. This one's from comics. Can't read out loud. I take that personally. $10 donation. Never have one read. I was probably the only kid wearing a seatbelt in the 80s. Mom and dad would start arguing a lot. I would click that shit up. The matter he got, the faster he drove. And he wasn't good at it. That's. I get that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Me.

[H. Foley]

When me and my wife were fucking, we'll be, you know, not even you. Just. The conversation switches from what a beautiful day to a sticking point, and I start. I'm. Days of thunder out there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Because your. Your adrenaline starts going. You're just. You're a little. You're tensor. So you're. You're. You know.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then anybody does something out there, that's your fucking. Yeah, man. Putting the seatbelt.

[H. Foley]

I had this yesterday. I was. I was parallel parking a car, and I pull up. This guy leaves, right?

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm.

[H. Foley]

So I pull up, and as I'm pulling, you know, you pull up to the car, like, in front of the car in front of the space. The car that was behind me loops around and, like, not steals the space, but it gets in front of me till I get into traffic more like, okay, there's a red light.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got.

[H. Foley]

So now he pulls up. So I can't pull all the way up because he went around me and blocked me from pulling.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right, right, right.

[H. Foley]

I'm like, that's a crazy, like, can't complete your. I can't get. I can't get up far enough. So I'm going. That's an insane. This is New York City. That's an insane move for me. I mean, this is reading, the car pulled out. I'm sitting there with my turn signal on. How do you not read that? This is a parallel parking situation. You give me five seconds to shake it out. Also, it's a red light. You can't go nowhere.

[Kevin Ryan]

Where you going?

[H. Foley]

He can't go nowhere. So I'm pulling up he, like, cuts me off, so I'm like kind of whatever. And then the car behind me doesn't realize I'm parking. It pulls up and just like. Like, I'm also still in traffic now. And I'm like, this is everybody's first fucking day. What are we doing, man? And we were already a little tense. It's. It's coming out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. That molten core starts.

[H. Foley]

It was. To the point. I knew it was because she started laughing. And I was like, all right, I'm wrong. You know what I mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

With her or with the parking guys? With the.

[H. Foley]

With the parking guys.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're not wrong.

[H. Foley]

If my reaction was wrong, I didn't want any question all of society and how effing stupid these effing people were. You know what I mean? It was like. I don't go. I don't. Just stop it. What's this guy doing? What was your fur like?

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm fucking kidding me.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. And then when I insert that into the car, that's. Those aren't good vibes. You know what I mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. You know what I hate?

[H. Foley]

Which I go too quick. And I know. And I apologize here a lot. And I apologize.

[Kevin Ryan]

I hate if I'm in those situations and maybe I'm chirping a little bit. Not like I'm gonna get out. Not like road rage gonna get out and do anything. But if there's maybe a slight exchange or I'm about to say something out the window.

[H. Foley]

Okay, tough guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

And.

[H. Foley]

And they're about to wake up.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then they say my. Then they say my name. Infuriates me because I feel like it takes away my toughness.

[H. Foley]

So, like, you're gonna scream at someone, Henry.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Fucking say my name. What if shit goes down, I don't want them to know that they got a lead on my name, you know?

[H. Foley]

I think you'll be all right. I mean, also, what's going to go down? A strong honking, quickly rolling up my window.

[Kevin Ryan]

Lay on that horn.

[H. Foley]

All right, I'm reporting you. You do that two or three more times, you're gonna have a problem on your hands. This one's from John. Long time, first time, never had one. Are you garbage? If you need to break up a funeral, this is. Listen, My mother had 10 brothers and sisters. That's a lot like any Irish dirtbag family. That's a recipe for disaster.

[Kevin Ryan]

Scraps to be fighting over.

[H. Foley]

Sure. And here's the thing. I come from a family, like, my mom's one of nine. They're all pretty Good. There's no. There's no non. Non talking to.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Couple of stragglers here and there. But, you know, all in all, everyone. Everyone can be in the same room at all times, which is nice. The family ended up being so torn up with beefs that when my grandfather died, the wake needed to be split into two rooms to keep everyone separate. They used temporary partition walls to divide a large room down. The both sides could access the coffin at the front. But depending on what side of the beef you were on, you would enter one door out of the other. So you. There'd be no fighting in the funeral home.

[Kevin Ryan]

Whoa. Probably not a lot of suits at that way.

[H. Foley]

No, no. A lot of clip on ties, maybe. Surprisingly, there were no issues that day, but it was fairly awkward when the priest needed to announce two separate luncheon locations. Again, depending on which side of the beef you were on. Listen, I respect the shit out of that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would hope I was cool with everybody so I could float back and forth.

[H. Foley]

My man hit me, Jack. Listen, that's mature. That's dirt bag. And you can't get over it. But you're going, hey, we're all going to keep it together for Pop Pop separate. But, you know, we're all there. Everybody's that. I got to give it to that. That's Man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. That's thinking ahead.

[H. Foley]

That and everybody.

[Kevin Ryan]

If you were super trash, you would have let it all hang.

[H. Foley]

Yes. Or even run. They're going, we're not even. This is what I like about they're going, we're not running the risk. Put a fucking fake wall up. Let us mourn how we mourn. Let those dirtbags mourn how they. Those two timing. And just let it be. That. That's pretty advanced emotionally.

[Kevin Ryan]

What if they did two, like, little.

[H. Foley]

Speeches, just trash, as you know, pop up. Hated those losers on the right side of the room.

[Kevin Ryan]

Damn.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that's. That's a tough one. As you know, I've. Funerals really bring it out. I've had emotion. I've had one. Well, it's also like when someone passes, especially like that's older. A lot of people are keeping things copacetic for one or two people. Then the second those. Oh, yeah, it's. Well, I was only fucking being nice to him because of so and so.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's the cuts. The classic Godfather. He didn't kill Fredo. Thought a mom died.

[H. Foley]

Yes, yes. So I've, you know, I've dealt with that where like there's been altercations at the man, like Let me, I. Let me talk to him or her. And you gotta go. Well, I've gotten very rude. There's been very rude Facebook messages. Sure. Where you're just like, all right, well I've just, you know, you just gotta. You like. I've. I've had so much internal beef in my families. All the very segmented portions of my family, mom, dad, stepmom, stepdad, that I've just resigned to. This is who I am. Of course, I've said at a very young age, as a young, young adult, that when that person dies, I'm done with all of them. You know what I mean? Where you're like, done. I shouldn't have to be weighing those options.

[Kevin Ryan]

As soon as that dog's dead, I'm never talking any.

[H. Foley]

Never going back to Orbeez. Yeah, it's very much that. Where you're like, God damn. But this is what makes up the listeners that list. Like this is that is, that is. This person does not know that as a normal experience to hit. That's insane. Yeah, but that is a. That goes. Yeah, my pop up Sweaty was split down too, because whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

Keep the peace.

[H. Foley]

I want to know what they were fighting over. So bad, dude. So bad.

[Kevin Ryan]

Send us a follow up. It's gotta be between us.

[H. Foley]

What do you think it could be? It ain't cash. Irish Catholic family, 10 kids. It ain't. There ain't even if there's a bajillion.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dollars amongst the Irish Catholics, it could be just something where somebody thought they were wrong to usually what it is, it's, it's. And it's, it's not that exact thing. It's a, it's. They love each other so much sometimes.

[H. Foley]

I don't know about that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think it is. There's. But you can't express it, you know, and somebody does something that hurts somebody so deeply, but they can't express it. The next time they do something topical or something on the surface, they explode at them.

[H. Foley]

He think his shit, his shit don't stink. Yeah, like he's a frick.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like the peanut M&MS.

[H. Foley]

Don't get me started. Glad we got to the bottom of that. It always comes back to the shock a lot for you, the cocoa bean. All right, let's see here. This is from sticky Vicki, my 30 something year old brother moved back in with my parents and is living in their basement.

[Kevin Ryan]

My man.

[H. Foley]

Every fight between the siblings now starts with, at least I don't live in my parents basement. Which then leads to fisticuff Which I get.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, that's a cheap shot. Fair is fair.

[H. Foley]

You wouldn't take it. What you did. You fight dirtier than anybody I've ever seen.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You know what I mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

That's gotta be. You gotta go. You listen in these kind of things. You test the. What you send the jab. You see how that jab's received. If they come back with a fuckin. I also overhand right. You gotta snap. You gotta snap them.

[Kevin Ryan]

I also might be inclined to keep my head down if I was in.

[H. Foley]

That's what I'm saying, you can't go fucking. You can't.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I'm usually pretty good at that when I'm. When I'm. When I'm.

[H. Foley]

If I'm a hurt animal, I fly under the radar.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. When I'm covered up, I'm covered up.

[H. Foley]

You don't go fucking poking the beast when you're living in your parents base. No. As someone.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not doing an advice column.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

The rest of the family is what you got to do.

[H. Foley]

You can't be judging. And at that point you got to hope that you're close with your mob. That you probably are. Where like after everybody leaves, you're having a glass of wine at the house because you're already home, you know. Because you're living in the basement and you start trashing whoever.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You don't do it. Me and Denise used to do. I. When I've moved home, that's how you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Get in the inside.

[H. Foley]

I've moved home a handful of times and even now if I go down ashore and it's just me and niece, we're getting. Getting sauced up and we're try. You trash. Trash. But that's how. Yeah, that's how you get on the inside. That's when the next thing you know the dad passes or the mom passes and everything's in your name. And these other people who went out and lived on their own.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've done a lot of manipulating out back at Patty's with a couple of heaters with her. Sure.

[H. Foley]

That's his problem. Can you believe that? Oh, I tell you, that's how you get Nisi going after a couple Nisi.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wines like worm tug there in her ear.

[H. Foley]

So they're just doing that. What? What? Well that's. I told him, she called me asking. I said no, you can't.

[Kevin Ryan]

What you think of what you said that way? Yeah.

[H. Foley]

She's got some balls. Denise won't say balls. He's. She here. He or she's got brass ones on them. Huh? That's what you'll say. He got a set of brass ones.

[Kevin Ryan]

He does. You're lighting your cigarette. Yeah, I'm with you.

[H. Foley]

Whatever you say, toots. Oh, shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dirt bags. I love it.

[H. Foley]

All right, let's see here. This one's from Ty Boogie, $10 shareholder. I watched my mom fist fight my older sister in the middle of the street at 3am from my bedroom window. God damn. When I was 12, my older cheap seats up in the news bleeds. When I was 12 and my older sister was in her early 20s, my sister drove home a little sauced up. My mom called her out front, and they started to brawl on the street. I'm watching. Respect that. Respect my street justice.

[Kevin Ryan]

Straighten you out.

[H. Foley]

You want to be a probably her car. Probably, yeah. In a ditch. 100 my car. But your house, at least. Yeah, that was.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's actually in a weird way, that's classy. Because I bet you that's a lesson that your sister. I hope so. That your sister never forgot. Your mom had every right, so you learned it, too.

[H. Foley]

He's watching from 12 years old, going, I'm have to fucking fight mom at 3:00am all fucking banged up. No, thank you.

[Kevin Ryan]

You get an Uber.

[H. Foley]

She got a fucking right hook.

[Kevin Ryan]

I like that. Yeah, that's pretty good.

[H. Foley]

All right, we got to wrap it up, gang.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's it. Family fights.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ladies and gentlemen, we love you. Grab your tickets to the live show. They're coming up quick, baby. And we'll see you next week. Peace.