Fancy Cereal! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Summary

Podcast Summary: Are You Garbage? – “Fancy Cereal! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley”

Release Date: June 15, 2026
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

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Episode Overview

This “family episode” of Are You Garbage? features just the core crew – H. Foley, Kevin Ryan, and their recurring producer Luke. With no guest in the hot seat this week, the boys riff on etiquette, nostalgia, trashy vs. classy behaviors, and answer fan questions to decide what’s “garbage.” This episode's main theme is dissecting the absurd etiquette surrounding fancy cereal and spiraling into signature, chaotic, and hilarious tangents about childhood, family dynamics, and trashy habits.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Callbacks, Jet Lag & Podcast Banter

Opening, ~00:17–04:11

• The guys open with classic self-deprecating banter. Foley jokes about reusing bits:

  “Look for that in about four months, it'll be the fourth time.” – H. Foley (01:02)

• Kevin is playfully roasted for jet lag and having a busier lifestyle than Foley.
• Foley extols “callback” features on customer service calls as a highlight of adulthood:

  “What I do appreciate is the callback feature…What is the problem out there? We can do that civilized.” – H. Foley (02:36-02:42)

• They debate the merits of being put on hold vs. getting a callback.

2. British Cereal Etiquette Video: The Main Bit

Main Segment, ~06:19–14:08

• Kevin introduces a viral video of British etiquette expert William Hanson explaining how to eat cereal “properly” at a restaurant—milk (semi-skimmed), spoon, and fork to “push Corn Flakes onto your spoon.”

  “Get the fuck out of here. That's crazy. We're doing too much.” – H. Foley (09:40-09:42)

• The hosts mock the idea of eating cereal at a fancy restaurant instead of at home or at a diner, enjoying the culture clash.
• British cereal brands (Weetabix, Shreddies) and serving style (“that’s rich guy shit”) are compared to American traditions.
• They reflect on sugaring up cereal at home (Special K, Corn Flakes), and how adding sugar made them feel “wrong.”

  “Don’t you want to do something and feel bad about it after? This guy, teach him everything falling apart, man.” – H. Foley (10:58)

• The etiquette of “scooping soup away from you” is mocked:

  “Imagine doing chili like that. Like an asshole. My mother would have me commit it.” – H. Foley (13:52)

3. Culture Clash: US vs. UK Cereal Traditions

~13:10–14:44

• Mockery continues over British serving sizes and bowl shapes:

  “That’s rich guy shit.” – H. Foley (11:33)

• Speculation about British cereals (“Union Jacks mate”) and the strangeness of “semi” milk.

4. Music Tangents & Pop Culture Whiplash

~14:15–16:00

• The hosts riff on the “Yin Yang Twins,” Black & Yellow (Wiz Khalifa), and confusion over hip hop references.
• Pop culture rapid-fire: Sandra Bullock in “The Proposal,” Ryan Reynolds’ career, sitcom bedroom envy.

5. Sitcom & Childhood Nostalgia

Wild Tangent, ~25:15–29:41

• The hosts reminisce about discovering prizes under the boardwalk, ruined plush toys, and envy over TV-show bedrooms (Home Improvement, Zack Morris from Saved by the Bell, Drake & Josh, Silver Spoons).

  “That made you feel like you weren’t living... I mean, you only get four years in high school. I’m fucking wasting on a shitty bed.” – H. Foley (29:05–29:07)

• Discussion of how “cool” TV characters always had epic bedrooms and adventures, compared to their own childhoods.

6. High School Lunch Rules & Regional Differences

~30:13–31:38

• Foley and co. marvel at “open campus” policies, where some students could leave for lunch.

  “The idea of leaving school for lunch was like, so foreign.” – Kevin Ryan (30:17)

7. Class or Trash? Listeners’ Family Stories

Listener Mailbag, ~23:04–24:52, 35:00–36:09

• Arcade Games in Garage & White Van of Prizes:

  “First of all, a white van, not class. Never good. No, never good... It’s awesome, it’s garbage, it’s awesome.” – H. Foley (24:34–24:44)

• The hosts agree it’s not “classy,” but it’s “awesome” childhood trashiness.
• Recollections of scoring ruined arcade prizes as a kid.

8. Wearing Your High School Jersey as an Adult

~35:00–36:41

• A listener asks if it’s garbage for adults to wear their old jerseys to kids’ games.

  “I would never wear that out. And I’ve been tempted to wear my letterman jacket to a couple with games, but that’s... So you just want that. You want them to know you did this as well. It’s not about you, it’s about the kids.” – Kevin Ryan (36:55)

• Consensus: It’s a desperate grab for relevance (“make it about yourself”), only justified in rare “memorial” scenarios.

9. Parents and Youth Sports Mania

~40:13–41:47

• Riffing on insane modern youth sports culture—parents heavily investing time and emotion, occasionally leading to sideline conflicts.

  “Stop yelling at. It’s high school sporting events. Everybody just shut the up. Knock this off.” – H. Foley (40:16)

10. Classic "Garbage" Questions—Biting, Pronunciation, and Food Weirdness

~32:35–34:46, 49:03–51:56

• Questions about biting as an adult (“that’s bad”), weird family pronunciations (Netflix as “Netflix”), and eating behaviors.
• Chewing lemons as toddlers, weird baby food pouches, and generational differences in food habits.

11. Family Dynamics: Weird Cousins, Goths & Childhood Anxieties

~56:13–62:41

• Listener asks about being forced to hang with “scary” family members (e.g., goth cousins, kids obsessed with Insane Clown Posse).
• Foley shares memories of older cousin’s friends with “devil-worship energy” (fireworks, Pink Floyd, black T-shirts) and the intimidation of being out of place.
• Kevin recalls a childhood sleepover with a family friend’s older son—strobe lights, Foo Fighters, wild energy, leading to genuine fear.

  “The fact that the Foo Fighters scared you.” – H. Foley (61:38) “I got left with this kid who I haven’t seen in 10 years...” – Kevin Ryan (63:02)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Fancy Cereal Etiquette:

  “Get the fuck outta here. That’s crazy. We’re doing too much.” – H. Foley (09:40)

• On British Etiquette Vs. Their Show:

  “He’s got a pretty popular podcast. And it’s kind of funny. Cause it’s the opposite of ours.” – Kevin Ryan (07:50)

• On Childhood Envy:

  “That made you feel like you weren’t living.” – H. Foley (29:05)

• On Wearing Old Jerseys:

  “It’s a desperate grab for relevance ... only justified in rare ‘memorial’ scenarios.” – Paraphrased, general consensus (~36:08)

• On Family Reputation:

  “My family... it’s always about how good of an athlete they were or how tough they were. Kid was a great basketball player or substance abuse problems. That’s why he’s not a basketball player anymore.” – Kevin Ryan (54:41)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Callback Feature & Modern Adult Joys: 02:06–04:11
• British Cereal Etiquette Video: 07:45–14:08
• Cereal at Restaurants Riffing: 09:01–13:31
• Pop Culture/Bedroom Envy: 25:15–29:41
• Listener Mailbag – Arcade Games: 23:04–24:52
• Old Jerseys at Kids’ Games: 35:00–36:41
• Parents Yelling at High School Sports: 40:13–41:47
• Weird Cousins/Childhood Sleepover Trauma: 56:13–62:41

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The Boys' Trashy Wisdom & Tonal Highlights

Their “AYG” style remains fast-paced, irreverent, and a blend of Philly nostalgia and blue-collar pride. They celebrate “garbage” side by side with what society labels “classy,” all in a way that's welcoming and inclusive to listeners with imperfect backgrounds. Foley and Ryan’s sibling energy, quick pivots, and affection for trashy simplicity keep the episode engaging and unpredictable.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a perfect taste of Are You Garbage? at its best—low-stakes, high-volume debates about etiquette, status markers, and the joys of being self-admittedly “garbage.” If you’ve ever eaten powdered Crystal Light directly, envied sitcom bedrooms, or watched your family navigate youth sports with too much intensity, you’re among friends.

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Next Up: The boys hit the road in Cleveland, Pittsburgh, and Denver—probably taking their garbage habits with them.

Transcript

[H. Foley]

Hey, hey, hey, Cleveland, Ohio. The boys are coming soon. Talking to you, Lakewood. I'm talking to you, Ohio City. Everybody from the surrounding areas, come out and see the boys at Hilarities play a little ayg with the crowd, and we'll stand up comedy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. We're also in Pittsburgh at the Improv. Get your tickets. They're moving quick. We'll see you there. We love you.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are you Garbage? It's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that if they grew up to be clear.

[Kevin Ryan]

See?

[H. Foley]

Or if they're just a big old piece of trash. Trash. I'm your host, H. Foley. Coming at you on a beautiful day.

[Kevin Ryan]

Fake. I got the big man.

[H. Foley]

We're out here at Tooties in a new edition. She just got busted for the third time stealing packages off the neighbor's porch.

[Kevin Ryan]

Jesus.

[H. Foley]

It's becoming an issue.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wait, does this mean you've done that joke two other times?

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. You see what I'm saying? For the ninth time, I'm going to tell you the same joke.

[H. Foley]

That's pretty good, though.

[Kevin Ryan]

You can rehash them.

[H. Foley]

I could start doing that now.

[Kevin Ryan]

You can?

[H. Foley]

Well, folks look for that in about four months, it'll be the fourth time.

[Kevin Ryan]

That'd be crazy.

[H. Foley]

I put my foot down. Mike Coates coming at you from across the table. Ladies and gentlemen, this is what we call a family episode. It's just the boys, the bozos and homies. Just the way we like it. Circle in the wagons, hanging out. Family, friends, unity, togetherness. Kevin Ryan.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

Call him Mr. Jet Lag. You get it worse than anybody I

[Kevin Ryan]

know because I'm moving and shaking.

[H. Foley]

All right, take it easy.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're used to sleeping 18 hours a day. What up, gang? Shout out to you. As always, please make sure you rate review. Subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available on Spotify. And then obviously, patreon.frickin calm the best website in the world. I sing from the rafters. It's changed our lives. You can go over there, you get all that freaking bone. I. You're probably sitting there going, how much bonus content could there be? It's more than you're thinking, and maybe that might be overwhelming. So it's not. Then. Then it's not too much.

[H. Foley]

Take it one day at a time.

[Kevin Ryan]

Don't want to scare you.

[H. Foley]

One day at a time. That's what they're telling me. I'm not Buying it yet? That's what they're telling me.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's the. Telling me.

[H. Foley]

You know what I've really learned to appreciate in this life? Such friends, fellowship, camaraderie. I've been spending a lot of time on the phone lately. Different agencies, associations, businesses, things like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay,

[H. Foley]

and that's the Shriners.

[Kevin Ryan]

I can tell you that that's what you appreciate.

[H. Foley]

No, no, I hate that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

But what I do appreciate is the callback feature.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very nice.

[H. Foley]

If we can do that. If we can do that, ladies and gentlemen, what is the problem out there? We can do that civilized. Who the fuck thinks you want to sit there? I was on the phone, I was on hold the other day and he goes, the guy said, while you're on hold, we're going to play a little music.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't like that.

[H. Foley]

It's like, hey, man, unless you're dropping Skynyrd on me, sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

Or something, this is live music. Are you going to play me a little diddly? Then I'm in.

[H. Foley]

Hit me with the Iceman, huh? Wnba, Drake.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know, you're not.

[H. Foley]

You don't listen to the albums. Guy's hot.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nah, I'm Al sings for the.

[H. Foley]

You're out on Drake.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm out on music and everybody. Not really. Holy shit. This guy's losing it. I am, dude.

[H. Foley]

But why, Kevin?

[Kevin Ryan]

Why what?

[H. Foley]

Why are you losing it? You know, good guy, beautiful family.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh.

[H. Foley]

Callback features. Huh.

[Kevin Ryan]

What more do you need in this life?

[H. Foley]

What more do you need?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I'm good. I'm good. Just. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You know, if we can do that, the possibilities, I think, are endless. That's such a good thing. Nice thing.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know how to do it. I agree. A big fan of it. Huge fan.

[H. Foley]

It's fantastic. And that's H. Foley's roundup for this week. I just wanted to share that with you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Thank you.

[H. Foley]

Very welcome.

[Kevin Ryan]

I appreciate that. It's very nice.

[H. Foley]

Yes. It's a good thing. So I'm saying it's a good thing.

[Kevin Ryan]

I agree that if we can get there, where else can we go, right? I got something. I got a little thing. I have a little diddly I'd like to show you. Little diddy, whatever.

[H. Foley]

Not P. Diddy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Diddly.

[H. Foley]

Diddly is you touching my balls and my penis. Why? It's so.

[Kevin Ryan]

That is lil.

[H. Foley]

That's diddling diddle. I always assumed Didland is soft.

[Luke]

P got a little diddy, though. Did you see that video?

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[Luke]

Oh man, the video dropped.

[H. Foley]

What video?

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, yeah. Oh yes. His Sex video.

[H. Foley]

Whose sex video?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yours. And everyone's making fun of how red your balls are.

[H. Foley]

Hey, Whose video?

[Kevin Ryan]

Tmz. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

What? Are you holding down information for me? I'm not.

[Kevin Ryan]

First of all, I'm not holding out any information.

[H. Foley]

You wouldn't answer me. P. Diddy has a sex tape. Yeah, that's the least of his problems. Who's he with?

[Luke]

A guy and a girl.

[H. Foley]

My man.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know.

[H. Foley]

I mean.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you want me to get into details? I didn't see the stuff.

[H. Foley]

I'll check that out later. Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're gonna be distracted for the rest of the.

[H. Foley]

All consensual, I hope.

[Luke]

Yeah, but it's all, like, in that red lighting. It's. Oh, it's so creepy.

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't. It's a goddamn family show here.

[H. Foley]

Luke. What are you doing?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Bringing this up now.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got fully hard.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. You're not soft. Not yet.

[H. Foley]

Ready for diddling.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got something I want to show you. The screen's not set up, so I'll. I'll show you on my laptop. My laptop.

[H. Foley]

Your laptop?

[Kevin Ryan]

Because that's where the scientists.

[H. Foley]

Did you bring your computer with you when you went overseas?

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh?

[H. Foley]

You did, huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Someone's got to run the business. Don't work. Yeah, it's good.

[H. Foley]

I was. Hey, I was busy here.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uhhuh. On the phone. On hold. Callback, features. So you weren't that busy.

[H. Foley]

I'm saving the company time.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

I had to charge you time and

[Kevin Ryan]

a half, though, the holiday weekend. Now, this is. This is from, like. I guess he's like a social elite etiquette kind of guy. And I'll play it and you can. You know, I think there's a few things to unpack.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right. But I'll play it for you. And then.

[H. Foley]

Now. Is this directed at me?

[Kevin Ryan]

No. Okay.

[H. Foley]

I have to ask. Why? Because I'm defensive.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, but. Yeah, okay. No, it's not okay. It's fodder for the program that we do. This isn't a personal attack on. You gotta fucking do a show, you weirdo, man. You need to. How many times you seen your therapist a week?

[H. Foley]

See him once a week.

[Kevin Ryan]

Double it. Doing well. Okay. Doesn't exist. It's not about me, is it? Am I in that sex tape? You start freaking out. I wasn't there. I was walking down the street. He said, can I hold the boom mic? I didn't know it was going to be that kind of. He said, do I want. I'm trying to make it in show business.

[H. Foley]

I was working freelance.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, whatever I do outside the studio is my time. I'm allowed to work on side projects.

[H. Foley]

That guy's allowed to earn a living, right, Luke?

[Kevin Ryan]

Jesus Christ. Goddamn tires. My dummy breathing down my neck. I gotta pay my bills. Not to mention a few bad short term investments. All right, whatever. So here, let me play it for you.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, nice. Nice British chap.

[H. Foley]

Oh, I know this dude.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, this dude's all right.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, this guy's all right.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's got a pretty popular podcast. And it's kind of funny. Cause it's the opposite of ours.

[H. Foley]

Excellent.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's like him and a dude. Him and another dude who were like,

[H. Foley]

how to do things right, kind of.

[Kevin Ryan]

And yes, it's the complete different perspective.

[H. Foley]

Let's get him in here.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's not bad.

[H. Foley]

Sorry. And then what's Odyssey?

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, ready? Let's see. Hold on.

[H. Foley]

Didn't you work for the Queen? Why don't we just set it up on the tv? Just take a minute and throw it together.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can we? Yeah, yeah. And do the magic of podcasting. We are back. Are we that quick with video cape abilities?

[H. Foley]

Which was my idea. My suggestion. I was going to lead it in, too. I'm working.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, man. You really. All right, let's see. Let's. Let's.

[H. Foley]

That's a British chap. Hi, British.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's. First of all, not that cocking that you do.

[H. Foley]

This guy's. This guy. I think this guy worked for the Queen or something.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's about eating cereal at a restaurant, which is. First of all, we'll get into it, but just. That's what it's. It's the etiquette of how to eat cereal at a restaurant.

[H. Foley]

So interesting. That ain't no Bennegan's. That's a fancy joint.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's.

[H. Foley]

That's pewter. You know, pewter. All right, let's see

[Kevin Ryan]

that show business.

[H. Foley]

That show business.

[Kevin Ryan]

Here's how to eat breakfast cereal. First of all, add your milk of choice. I'm going for semi. And then with a spoon held in your dominant hand and the fork in your non dominant hand. Now, it's not soup, so you don't need to scoop away from you like you would with soup. But you can use the fork to push some corned flakes onto your spoon and eat accordingly. Get the fuck out of here. That's crazy.

[H. Foley]

We're doing too much.

[Kevin Ryan]

First of all, who's going out to a restaurant and ordering cereal at a joint like that?

[H. Foley]

I'm getting a steak for breakfast? Sure. Steak and egg something. Or one of those bangers and mashes that they got over there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, obviously. I mean, to me, your corned Flakes anytime. We went out for breakfast.

[H. Foley]

How about you kick rooks now? I'm.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not about getting cereal out for breakfast. You can do that at home.

[H. Foley]

I've seen it done. I'm not saying at a diner they

[Kevin Ryan]

give you the little box. It stinks.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, it stinks.

[Kevin Ryan]

Stinks.

[H. Foley]

You got six of them?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Yo, go. Listen, here's 20. Run to the Stor. Run to the Acme, get me a big box of Frosted Flakes. Come back, we'll do it that way.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. What's semi? Luke, do you know that the semi, what he referred to as the milk is semi?

[Luke]

No.

[H. Foley]

Is that maybe like a little bit of fat? Low fat?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Probably 2%, something like that.

[H. Foley]

Hey, that's screaming cold.

[Luke]

Semi skimmed milk.

[Kevin Ryan]

Semi skimmed milk.

[H. Foley]

That's your first mistake. What you want is whole. When you're going in flakes, then you want to get about a table. Two tablespoon sugar. You want to sprinkle it on there. And you mix that up.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember doing that with Special K. It works.

[H. Foley]

And it's all down at the bottom. And you get that just was.

[Kevin Ryan]

It felt bad. It just felt wrong. Yeah, it didn't feel right.

[H. Foley]

Well, what are you looking for? Don't you want to do something and feel bad about it? After this guy, teach him everything falling apart, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Two things.

[H. Foley]

One, this guy's a dick.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, he seems like a nice guy. We just live in different worlds. Of course, he's got a pretty good drink array there. He's got a coffee, he's got an orange juice and he's got what looks to be a water.

[H. Foley]

Think that or juice is fresh squeezed.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. Also, how do you feel about those bowls?

[H. Foley]

Get the fuck out of here.

[Kevin Ryan]

I hate them.

[H. Foley]

Is that's how I feel about the lips bigger than the bowl.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's crazy.

[H. Foley]

That's nothing.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's rich guy shit.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that's a serving. If that's a serving, I'm in trouble.

[Kevin Ryan]

But to me would be a dirt bag like this. I see a dirt bag would order.

[H. Foley]

He's also not getting the milk on there too well. You're rubbishing the.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, I think they look at it as. I don't know. I mean, I don't know. I'm not. I'm not British. But ours turns into more of like a soup.

[H. Foley]

What, our cereal?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. You mix it Up. Get it all wet.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't think they do that. I think it's more of like a.

[H. Foley]

Is that true?

[Kevin Ryan]

They moisten it.

[H. Foley]

Who says that?

[Kevin Ryan]

This guy's. Well, this guy's eating with a fork.

[H. Foley]

This guy's not indicative of the British guy that works down at the fucking, you know, the fucking fish market. Hey there. We should. Bowl of corn flakes.

[Kevin Ryan]

You think that guy's going out to breakfast and ordering corn flakes? You think he's got fucking.

[H. Foley]

No, he's having them at the house. Probably poofs. Give me poofs. Whatever they eat over there. What's a popular British cereal? Jacks. They bow to Union Jacks, mate. With some of that semi. A little bit of salt. Probably put salt, some of that brown sauce on there. I love that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Luke]

I mean, it's all like Weetabix Shreddies, Crunchy Nuts.

[H. Foley]

Shreddies.

[Kevin Ryan]

Weed a bit.

[H. Foley]

I caught him right there. He was eating his Shreddies. I put the gun to his mouth. I pulled the trigger.

[Kevin Ryan]

What are you auditioning for something? Shut up. We get it. You can. You can say 14 words.

[H. Foley]

I could. Why you? How dare you? 13.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just start counting. I mean. Well, yeah, I don't know. I like. What? I like that. This guy's got some good pointers. But if you're. I. First of all, you're a bozo. If you're ordering cereal at a restaurant, any restaurant let in a restaurant like that, then you're eating it with a

[H. Foley]

fork like a. I know this guy. I like this guy's style. I've learned some things from him that I'm not having been doing. I get that. But it's too much. It's too much.

[Kevin Ryan]

I agree.

[H. Foley]

Cereal. Come on. You can't. Who the fuck we meeting with? Can't eat cereal like a normal person.

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't. What did he say? You don't have to go towards you, because it's not. I didn't realize that the soup is

[H. Foley]

supposed to go away. Fuck that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Go away.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Trying to get my lobster bits in there from my bisque.

[Kevin Ryan]

But you can't get a good. You can't get a good hook on it.

[H. Foley]

No. Imagine doing chili like that. Like an asshole. My mother would have me commit it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Tear my rotator fuck out of here.

[H. Foley]

Carpal tunnel from having a bowl of chili.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. No, I'm not all about that, but. And also respect him.

[H. Foley]

Mr. William Hanson.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Shout out to him. He knows what he's doing.

[H. Foley]

Gentlemen.

[Kevin Ryan]

And there needs to be the Ying to our Yang. You know what I mean?

[H. Foley]

Light to our darkness.

[Kevin Ryan]

From the windows to the walls.

[H. Foley]

Who's that?

[Kevin Ryan]

So the sweat drops down our balls. That's the great Yin Yang Twins. You don't know what that means? Oh, these females crawl. You don't know the Yin Yang Twins?

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

What? Wait, you would love them.

[H. Foley]

Black and dirty. What's it called?

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, hey, I don't know. I don't know anything about them.

[H. Foley]

What's it called? Black and Yellow.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, that's Wiz Khalifa.

[H. Foley]

Is it really Black and yellow? Black and yellow, That's Wiz Khalifa.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Now I like him.

[Kevin Ryan]

What else do you know him from?

[H. Foley]

He's banging somebody. He's married to Rihanna. That's Fetty Wap.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're Fatty Wap?

[H. Foley]

It's. No. Who's that? Asap. Rocky Daytriana. Got a kid with her. Nice kid. Good kid, good looking kid. Now this he needs.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

What's the kid's name?

[Kevin Ryan]

Ying Yang Twins. You don't know the Ying Yang Twins?

[H. Foley]

No. Who's the other kid that. I said black and yellow?

[Kevin Ryan]

You didn't say Wiz Khalifa.

[H. Foley]

Now he's. He's a producer, right? No, no, he's a rapper. I know he's a rapper, but doesn't he produce a lot of stuff?

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm sure he's got a lot of hobbies.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I like that kid. Cudi, Drake.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's great. Yeah, they're all. They're all fantastic.

[H. Foley]

Iceman.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm.

[H. Foley]

Wnba. Favorite song right now. Shout out to it. Gotta get in there, Kip. A lot going on out there, okay?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know what's going on.

[H. Foley]

I don't know. The Yin Yang Twins.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's crazy.

[H. Foley]

I didn't listen to hip hop back then.

[Kevin Ryan]

From the windows to the walls to the sweat dress.

[H. Foley]

I've heard it in the club once in a while.

[Kevin Ryan]

Make all these females crawl.

[H. Foley]

I've heard it in the club every once in a while when I.

[Luke]

Great scene from the Proposal.

[H. Foley]

The Proposal?

[Kevin Ryan]

Who are you, my aunt? What's the Proposal? I mean, dude, I leave for.

[H. Foley]

Is that a Jennifer Hudson movie?

[Kevin Ryan]

You guys are in shambles.

[H. Foley]

Sandy Bullock.

[Luke]

Yeah, dog. Ryan Reynolds. Early Reynolds.

[H. Foley]

He's like her intern. Takes her to a wedding, then he ends up doing her.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, they got to get married because she's from Canada. He's from Alaska. Listen, is she a hot piece of his in It Ain't Done?

[H. Foley]

I like Bullock.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Oh, do you?

[H. Foley]

Yeah. You ever see Speed the Bus? Do Speed the Girl from the Movie on the bus.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, listen, we get.

[H. Foley]

Listen you down to some business here. You had to eat cereal. What are we doing? You know this guy? Sick of this guy. Get this.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wait, you're upset with what I brought to the table. You brought up the callback feature. I only brought up the video because your thing went absolutely nowhere.

[H. Foley]

I disagree with that. I think a lot of people relate to that. Appreciate the callback feature.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think it was a 14 second segment that you. Then I tried playing along with you and yeah, that's all I got. You ended it. Still plugging Patreon. You were wrapping it up.

[H. Foley]

Well, the phone also. You can put it on hold until they. Until they're ready for you, which is nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, Bill Gates, any more tips?

[H. Foley]

Right

[Kevin Ryan]

guys, we got a gosh darn family episode on our hands. As you know, when you do the old Patreon. Well, I answer your garbage question on the mother friggin air from the windows to the walls. Appreciate that kind of talk from Luke's favorite movie.

[Luke]

I love it.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's crazy. I like, I mean I like it. I don't like. I'm losing him though. I really turned on him and I love that movie. And I love waiting. I love early hit. I just, I can't.

[H. Foley]

Reynolds.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Stinks. Can't with him.

[H. Foley]

He does rocks.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean he's got one note.

[Luke]

Oh, 100%. But that's the. That movie is his note.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Tell you what, that free guy has a hell of a picture.

[Luke]

It was a fun one too.

[H. Foley]

Fun one.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who?

[H. Foley]

No, you don't know now you don't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. Do you do. What do you do? Yeah, I don't know. What do you do?

[H. Foley]

A lot of stuff mount about meeting

[Kevin Ryan]

people, hanging out, filming videos.

[H. Foley]

Filming videos.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did he. It was a segment I just did. Oh my God segment. He gets so nerve, huh? You check out, you fall down your. Your pit of shame and send a rope to lasso down to pull you out. Who are you?

[H. Foley]

Brandon Tartakoff? Talking about segments wasn't a segment, it was a bit we did.

[Kevin Ryan]

Brandon Tartakoff?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

The comic from Jersey? No, the open open mic.

[H. Foley]

President of NBC during Must see TV engineered Seinfeld Cosby Show. That didn't really work out but of the guy. My favorite show growing up, he was America's dad. I didn't know. What do you want from me? Ladies and gentlemen, callback features more at 11.

[Kevin Ryan]

Kevin, take this segment away.

[H. Foley]

Gabbit's talking about ultra sleep pouches, baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, I'M getting a little. Little tie tie thinking about it.

[H. Foley]

Well no you're not. That's why I need Ultra Sleep pouch. Let me ask you a question. You have trouble sleeping at night?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Do you wish you could fall asleep faster?

[Kevin Ryan]

Obviously.

[H. Foley]

Who doesn't sleep deeper and wake up without grogginess?

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh.

[H. Foley]

Is your sleep score lower than what you'd like to be on your whoop or your oura ring, your apple watch or whatever?

[Kevin Ryan]

Of course.

[H. Foley]

And do yourself a favor, don't dumbass. And get over and get Ultra sleep pouches, baby. And get a great night's sleep.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes. Uh, the idea behind it is genius. Everyone uses pouches for increased focus energy. But Ultra took that idea and flipped it yo. Flip a roo. The pouches that help you wind down, fall asleep and stay asleep. And the great thing is they use just six clean research backed ingredients. We're talking about a Mel1 milligram of melatonin dosed at the clinically optimal range so that you're not overdosing and feeling groggy the next day. L theanine reduces anxious thoughts while falling asleep and help you feel refreshed when you wake up. That's my biggest problem. I shutting the machine down, I put my head on the pillow goes oh my God, you're gay. Your wife, your mom, your bah dah bah. Magnesium relaxes muscles.

[H. Foley]

Complex chamomile passion flower lemon balm extracts.

[Kevin Ryan]

Cut me off, okay guy. They're easy to use. Just place one in your mouth before bed and you're ready to sleep within 10 to 20 minutes, baby. It helps you fall asleep faster, longer, whole nine yards. Improve your sleep score, baby. Ultra Sleep pouches deliver better deeper sleep with properly dosed and natural ingredients. New customers can use the code garbage. You get 15% [e-mail] that's takeultra.com for 15% off with the code garbage. And after you purchase, they're gonna ask you where you heard about them. Please support the show and tell them the boy sent you.

[H. Foley]

Do it. Yeah, Kippy. It's Brunt time, baby. Let's talk about Brunt. If I'm not mistaken, we got a shipment coming to the job site over here post haste. Am I not?

[Kevin Ryan]

You're right.

[H. Foley]

Am I right?

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh.

[H. Foley]

Am I right?

[Kevin Ryan]

You're right, gang.

[H. Foley]

Do yourself a favor. We're talking about comfortable, reliable, durable, fashionable Brunt workwear.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes.

[H. Foley]

Okay. Do yourself a favor. Get over there, get yourself straightened out. Talking about a couple of boys in the industry. Put this Together they know what it means to show up on the job site, to be ready to go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Prepared, prepared, comfortable, yes. Support, safety, all of that. It's four blue. Blue collar boots for blue collar guys. Made by blue collar guys. What are we talking about? That's what it is.

[H. Foley]

That's extra.

[Kevin Ryan]

All rights reserved. Kippy Industries Guys founder Eric Gerard grew up blue collar and started Brunt Workwear after his friends in the trades kept telling him that the big brand stopped listening and hadn't changed in a hundred years. So they sold out to become some fashion brands. Not him, baby. His buddies encouraged him to start the band built for them. And that's why Brunt products are named after the guys he grew up with. Real hard working tradesmen. Brunt. Yes. The Brunt boots were comfortable right out of the box, baby. You put them on, they fit. They're smooth, they're buttery.

[H. Foley]

No breaking in, period.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, I was a guy. I worked blue collar a little bit before. I come from a blue collar family. I was a bozo on the job site, I looked like a bozo. My feet always hurt. I always had bad boots. I was born for my brother, my stepdad, somebody.

[H. Foley]

Those first three weeks with the new boots. Jesus Christ.

[Kevin Ryan]

Looking like a bozo. They're getting wet. Your feet are cold. I'm wearing ankle socks like an asshole. Brunt was tired of the workwear brands out there cutting corners. You work too hard to be stuck in uncomfortable boots that don't hold up. So they built something better. Boots are insanely comfortable and built for any job site. For a limited time, our listeners get $10 off at Brunt. When you use the code garbage at checkout, just head to bruntworkwear.com use the code garbage and you're good to go. After you order, they're ask you how you heard about Brunt. Do us a favor and tell them it was us. Do it now. Back to the show. All right, let's see here. This one's from Chris. $20, homie needing a trash or class judgment. I like this segment.

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

You have more of these, write them in. I say classy. My wife P.O. box.

[H. Foley]

We have a P.O. box.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know.

[H. Foley]

I just found out that today.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm.

[H. Foley]

How long have you known about it?

[Kevin Ryan]

Two and a half years.

[H. Foley]

Two and a half years. We had it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Get it? Probably candy and fan mail. Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

This one's from Chris. $20. Homie needing a trash or class judgment. I say class. My wife says trash. Growing up, my stepdad's job was to service arcade games. And what that meant was that at any time, we would have a rotation of four or five full arcade games in our garage that were fully free play. And once a month, he would bring home a white van that was full of the claw machine and ticket prizes that we would get to go through. Whoa. I say this is all class. My wife says that having four or five broken video games that aren't yours in your small, shitty house and calling it an arcade, and then once a month stealing toys and prizes from a van is not class at all.

[H. Foley]

I guess it's how you look at it. I mean, is it garbage? I guess. But is it fucking awesome?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, come on. But he's saying claw machine prizes. Yeah, he. I guess the. The thing is, he's saying it's all class. It's not, is it? It's awesome for a kid.

[H. Foley]

First of all, a white van, not class.

[Kevin Ryan]

Never good. No, never good.

[H. Foley]

It's awesome. It's garbage. It's awesome. The misses though, you're being a little harsh. Sounds to me like she's a little jealous she didn't have it growing up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

You know, I saw a guy, one of those claw machines, he'd take a magnet and just went whoop. And sucked out like four or five pairs of earbuds.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm. Your first day on TikTok or something? That's old as shit. Is it like, my mom. Dude,

[H. Foley]

I don't have TikTok.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know if I ever told you my mom pronounces it Netflix.

[H. Foley]

Netflix.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's great.

[H. Foley]

Lower your list.

[Kevin Ryan]

Netflix. Classic Denise.

[H. Foley]

Get a good deal on homeowners insurance over there. Netflix.

[Kevin Ryan]

Netflix.

[H. Foley]

Great. Great. That must have been awesome.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did I ever tell you the time me and Pat spent a lot of time down north? Wildwood, Wild, New Jersey. Probably about 10 years old, just discovering heaters and stuff like that. What have you hanging. We just. It was like, you leave the house. One of those is like an old trope. But, like, we would, like, leave the house at 8am and just go like, you're, like, under the boardwalk. We're, you know, just kind of doing whatever, getting. Getting into hijinks. And we found this storage room under the boardwalk.

[H. Foley]

Whoa.

[Kevin Ryan]

And we got in and it was Bookers. It was all poise from, like, the games, but they had flood damage. You know what I mean? Like, it was like there was, like a high tide that, like, came in and we, like, got this door open somehow, got in there, and they had that big watch that was a clock that you would hang on the wall.

[H. Foley]

Sick.

[Kevin Ryan]

Remember that? Yeah, they had, like, a. And, dude, this stuff was, like, so ruined by water and sand.

[H. Foley]

It was like, how bad are we talking?

[Kevin Ryan]

Bad to the point where, like, we took it home. My mom was like, get this. This is. That stuff is not coming in the house. But we were like. We had. It was like, such a score for young kids. A huge score that we were like, that's a Lufthansa. We're like, who cares if it's.

[H. Foley]

Throw a stack of Playboys in there. Yeah, forget it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Pack of heaters or something.

[H. Foley]

Damn.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it was sad. I remember being. I still think about that all the time. I'd be a different guy if I had that watch clock. Yeah. People coming over, probably getting all the broads. Hey, check out the watch clock.

[H. Foley]

I remember.

[Kevin Ryan]

What time is it? I don't know.

[H. Foley]

I remember seeing all that stuff in, like, shows like. Like sitcoms like, that I watch.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude, it was the huge teddy bear that you could never win was there. It was like, the size of the chair.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sick. I got that. We got all the cool shit, but it was all kind of ruined.

[H. Foley]

That's where my love affair with the traffic light in my room started. Now you could get one.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, but. Yeah, before you had to find one. Acquire one.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, you had a. Whatever rich dad, like Ricky Schroeder on Silver Spoons. He had all kind of race car. Bet he had everything. Yeah, I had none of that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember on Home Improvement.

[H. Foley]

Oh, those kids.

[Kevin Ryan]

They built Jonathan Taylor Thomas's character. Randy. No.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, Randy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Randy, Mark and Brad. Yeah, Brad was the oldest rant. It was Randy. Did you watch that show?

[H. Foley]

Yeah, of course.

[Kevin Ryan]

How old were you at that point, do you think?

[H. Foley]

Probably teenager. 16, 17, 18, 19, 38.

[Kevin Ryan]

Randy. They built him a room in the. In the basement because he wanted his own room. So they built it in the basement, and it was like this, like, cool bed that was, like, built. It was like a fixture. The whole bed was, like, into the wall and there was a shelving. And I remember being like, that's sick.

[H. Foley]

What was he making on that show?

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean?

[H. Foley]

Tim the Tool Man.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's all Binford. That big. Binford's big money.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, but Daisy did it. He did a local TV show. What could he be pulling in back?

[Kevin Ryan]

Money was in local TV shows back then. Thank you, Mr. Tardigar. That was a good segment.

[H. Foley]

What are the affiliates? It's all about the affiliates.

[Kevin Ryan]

Exactly.

[H. Foley]

Where's our affiliates? We need affiliates. Need local channel 109 and Kansas City.

[Kevin Ryan]

Another TV show.

[H. Foley]

Start syndicating this.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think we are.

[H. Foley]

We should be selling this to the Russians too. Get two Ruskies to be doing this over in Moscow. Like they're interviewing a guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

He answers wrong, he poison them.

[H. Foley]

Rosenthal.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Phil.

[Luke]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I always wanted that, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was like. That's a very good way to put it. Sitcom. Now you can get it. But like sick dude, the race car, or like any sort of thing that just wasn't.

[H. Foley]

That made you feel like you weren't living.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I mean, you only get four years in high school. I'm fucking wasting on a shitty bed. Love that stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

Good. Yeah, that really. I was really it. That was our. Like, you would look at Instagram and go like. The kids go like, oh, we don't have this. I want like. That's just seeing. Is it like Zack Morris's bedroom or something? Like, what the fuck?

[H. Foley]

He must have been closing ass in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, good for him. Yeah, good for him.

[H. Foley]

You got something?

[Luke]

No, I mean, Drake and Josh's bedroom is really cool.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it's the same thing.

[H. Foley]

I always wanted to live on a. On a Disney set. Lunch outside. Lunch outside.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was also another thing. They also went to the schools where it was like, we're going whitewater rafting this weekend.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

And the whole school goes to Hawaii for the fucking summer years for Saved by the Bell.

[H. Foley]

Who had that?

[Kevin Ryan]

Ah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

Took a trip down to the Franklin Institute.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude, leave the idea. The idea. Fucking applied for jail. Probably your career day. The idea of going, I cleaned the heart. The idea.

[H. Foley]

A big heart down at a Franklin Institute. She would still there.

[Kevin Ryan]

The idea of leaving school for lunch was like, so foreign. Talks crazy. I don't know if that was like a Pennsylvania thing. Were you allowed to do that junior year? Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

That might have been a Pennsylvania.

[H. Foley]

How long did you get?

[Luke]

Junior and senior year? You got an hour.

[H. Foley]

An hour?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Luke]

You got lunch period.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's crazy. Crazy. We weren't allowed to leave the premises. We weren't even allowed to go outside. If you did, I'd be catching stingers.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Dude Caused problems.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's crazy, man.

[H. Foley]

Where would you go to lunch?

[Luke]

You kind of just go smoke weed somewhere, huh? Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Would you guys ever, like, go out to have lunch?

[Luke]

Sometimes. But then like, you. You just end up like Monday through Thursday, you just kind of end up going to lunch in the lunchroom, going

[H. Foley]

out, having a reservation.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't think. I mean, what are they, businessmen? Who's doing that at a table for three at the Arby's please. What are you talking about?

[Luke]

Chicken nuggets at Garden Catering.

[H. Foley]

I have a Sam Adams. That sounds good. I also have a Sam ad.

[Kevin Ryan]

Got clip on, ties on.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, it's all jealous stuff. But what are you gonna do, you know? Lunch outside. Tammy Kotowski running around.

[Kevin Ryan]

Tammy Kotowski?

[H. Foley]

I don't know. Some hot chick on some show that

[Kevin Ryan]

was like four different characters.

[H. Foley]

Still hot, though, huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh?

[H. Foley]

You tell me that Tammy Kotowski isn't going to be hot.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Captain of the cheerleading team and the volleyball team. Summa cum laude. What's it called? What's one of the smartest kid in school? Don't tell me. Valedictorian. You ever know anybody's a valedictorian?

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[H. Foley]

I bet she did.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, I bet I probably knew who it was. There one in high school or that just college. Yeah, I probably knew who it was.

[H. Foley]

How close you get, pothead?

[Luke]

I mean, I was dead middle.

[H. Foley]

Dead middle.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah, I think I was, too.

[H. Foley]

I was down at the bottom.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm.

[H. Foley]

I was like 348 out of 350.

[Kevin Ryan]

Or 348 in high school. So you didn't get fat till later.

[H. Foley]

Segue. Segue.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, Brendan Farticoff. All right, let's see. This one's from Ray Grico. Use. Ever bit someone as an adult? That's great. That's great, dude.

[H. Foley]

Why?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that's bad.

[H. Foley]

Did you ever bite anybody in a fight? In general? I bit my brother a couple of times.

[Kevin Ryan]

No. Yeah, that's. That always was like you'd punch someone in the face before you bit them. That's.

[H. Foley]

Bite them.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's bad.

[H. Foley]

Go for the nose.

[Kevin Ryan]

I bite their nose? No, you, a spider monkey, rip his testicles off.

[H. Foley]

I said that to you the other day. And straight for the butthole. That's where they go. They go for the same thing with hyenas. And when they eat you, they go right for the ass. A little tear in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Part hyena. I used to get made fun of for how I said hyena. I think I used to say hyena. And Flip was like, what the. I said, you're over there laughing like a hyena. He's like, what? So many words.

[H. Foley]

You have a boar surge route in the northeast.

[Kevin Ryan]

A borsard. There's so many words I say so wrong. Bad news, hyena. My mom says I'm wrong, too. Houston.

[H. Foley]

Houston, Detroit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. They're huge. He's a human, that guy. Human. That's not fit for human consumption. So My stepdad used to say when someone puts salad on the table, that stuff ain't fit for human consumption.

[H. Foley]

He wasn't a salad guy. Jolt and Joe? No. What would he eat?

[Kevin Ryan]

What? What would he eat? Coors Lights? No. Yeah,

[H. Foley]

meat.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, potatoes. Meat and potatoes. Pasta. Yeah, meat, potatoes, pasta. I said he's not, you know. Human.

[H. Foley]

Human, human.

[Kevin Ryan]

That and karoki. That's my all time favorite. He's up there doing Karoki like a Japanese businessman.

[H. Foley]

I love that.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's see. This one's from Moondog 14. Northerner here. Never had one Red. Is it garbage if your buddy shows up to a kid's football game in his old jersey? That's. That's a. That's, you know. Man, that's tough.

[H. Foley]

My cousin, God love him, his boy did that at one of my cousin's son's football games.

[Kevin Ryan]

What was the level of Jer. What was the jersey?

[H. Foley]

It was his high school jersey.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was home, same high school.

[H. Foley]

No, that's where the issue lies.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know what's worse, if I'm being honest.

[H. Foley]

It was the kids homecoming, okay? And some. Some of my cousin's boys showed up. One dude rolls in wearing his like fucking meth Acton fucking jersey. We were at fucking Council Rock or wherever we were, man. And that. Me and Patty made fun of this guy for about 45 minutes on the drive home.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's tough. Why? Was it the same number, maybe? Nah, like that's what I'm going. Like. Maybe. There is kid's number six. He was number six. He wants to represent the. Yeah, I don't know. No, that's.

[H. Foley]

However, I do have to tell you

[Kevin Ryan]

this as the guy who has his jersey framed above his right shoulder. So let's not. Let's not sit here like you're fucking. You're Johnny Cool Guy all of a sudden.

[H. Foley]

My buddy Joey, shout out to Joey at the Pottstown show. He brought me a new Wissahickon jersey with my number and my name on it. His wife works for the school district. Shout out to him. So expect to see that come game day. I don't know where we're gonna put it.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're not putting it. Anyway.

[H. Foley]

Right there. Huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

What? Yeah. Okay.

[H. Foley]

But I would never wear that out. And I've been tempted to wear my letterman jacket to a couple with games, but that's.

[Kevin Ryan]

So you just want that. You just. You about you. You want them to know you did this as well. It's not about you. It's about the kids.

[H. Foley]

Who the fuck are you? What are you, Jerry Lewis? Fuck these kids.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's about me trying to get my 14th tackles. I. To.

[H. Foley]

Listen, I would never fucking wear a jersey or my letterman jacket anywhere. I'm not like that. That shit's.

[Kevin Ryan]

I get what you're saying, but your jersey. I'm looking at your jersey.

[H. Foley]

That's memorabilia.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it's.

[H. Foley]

All right, fine. Take it down.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I'm just saying you can't sit there and go, I'm not the guy to do this, when it's literally. You fought to get it up there.

[H. Foley]

I didn't fight to get it up there. You asked me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that's what I said. Oh, my God. Well, you know what this really means. The jersey of a loser. Do we have the jersey of a bench warmer?

[H. Foley]

These personal attacks.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, can we. Can we. Can we get the guy who played left bench. Can we get his jersey on the wall?

[H. Foley]

What are you talking about? I had a bad knee.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's all politics. That coach had it up for me playing his son. Kid was a dickhead. Everybody knows it.

[H. Foley]

There's a reason it's up there. I can't remember why we talked about it a lot.

[Kevin Ryan]

Because you're a huge loser. No, we put it up. Obviously, I'm joking, but we put it up.

[H. Foley]

Why don't you put up some of your old cigarette butts you smoked in high school, Some of the girl pictures of girls you just struck out with. Call me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Old chicks with a bunch of red X's on their face says lesbo on them. Dumb. Welcome to the dumb broad. Olive.

[H. Foley]

Hey. She up? She up?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, because we. The idea was it would be funny to put it up because you bread. It's your goal.

[H. Foley]

You.

[Kevin Ryan]

You talk about the glory days a lot. That was. That was. That was the premise. It's a bit.

[H. Foley]

Hey, it's a bit. That's right. But I wouldn't wear that to a game. Not now, anyway. I don't need to. Okay. Big fan of the show. I just need a little something keep me going. You know what I mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean? I don't know.

[H. Foley]

Dopamine was something. Mm, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. That's a tough look, I think. I think doing that, you make it about yourself. You're making. It's, you know, it's about. It's just stopping a loo. You're a fucking loser.

[Luke]

Someone had to have died on the team for you to, like, wear that jersey.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, it's like wearing their dead jersey.

[Luke]

Like. Yeah, like, maybe, like the whole team Comes out for like the home opener and it's like, hey, the guy 10 years ago died and it's the whole team or whatever from that.

[H. Foley]

Even still, if I was a kid on a team, be like, hey, Pop, Pop, let it go. It's about us now.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it's the only.

[H. Foley]

I used to hate when old timers showed up wrestling. In wrestling, we used to have referees that were like 40 and 50 years old. They would show up to our practice and want to wrestle with us. There was this one guy, enormous would come in and wrestle. Creep kid grabbing my nuts and had enough of that at home. Yeah, I'm with you, trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very. Yeah, don't knock that off. Yeah, knock that off.

[H. Foley]

And stop yelling at. It's high school sporting events. Everybody just shut the up. Knock this off.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean. Yeah, no, I agree. I do. I guess I kind of have a. Somewhat of an understanding of like, what

[H. Foley]

kind of dad are you going to be? Little kipperinos out there, keep your mouth shut. Are you going to yell?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't, I don't know. I don't, I don't know. Like what, how I would feel. And I get this is where it comes from.

[H. Foley]

Let's go, Kippy. That kind of stuff. Yeah, sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

But I think like, I think parents get emotional. They invest. And I'm not by any means making any. Like they make a lot of. They invest a lot of time, energy. Of course, especially now you sports is fucking insane.

[H. Foley]

My brother drives all over.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's why it's crazy. So it's like there's that version of it. Don't worry, they're. They're also emotionally and physically invested in it. Not saying rightfully so, but they feel, hey, I'm spending every one of my weeknights doing this. And I've. I drove for two hours to go to the game. I'm sitting here and then other people chime in and then it like you keep one up in and like, I don't know, like if somebody like did a dirty foul on the kid, I get how you would be like, hey, what the fuck? You know, it's a char. I see how people can get charged up if your.

[H. Foley]

Your kids, you know, your ass kicked by some 29 year old dad, something

[Kevin Ryan]

happens, you know, I'm just saying, like, I can't. I understand it.

[H. Foley]

My one boy would talk to his dad, why he was, why he was on the sidelines lines and the diabetes. He's not passing it to me. Doing that back and forth.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh yeah, hey, nerd.

[Luke]

Alert.

[Kevin Ryan]

Zip it.

[Luke]

This podcast is sponsored by Talkspace. Last year I went through many different life changes. I needed to take a pause and examine how I was feeling in the inside to better show up for the ones who need me to be my best version of myself. When you're navigating life's changes, Talk Space can help. Talkspace is the number one rated online therapy, bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatry providers that you can access anytime, anywhere. Living a busy life, navigating a long distance relationship, becoming a first stepfather, Talkspace made all of those journeys possible. I could speak with my therapist in the office. I could speak with my therapist in the comfort of my home. I was never alone. Talkspace works with most major insurers and most insured members have a zero dollar copay. No insurance, no problem. Now get $80 off your with promo code SPACE80 when you go to talkspace.com match with a licensed therapist today at talkspace.com save $80 with code [e-mail] kept

[H. Foley]

me tell you about Chime Chime. Now I'm not really telling you about Chime. You know about Chime? Chime is something that the both of us could have used when we were younger. I'll tell you that right now.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes.

[H. Foley]

And if you don't know gang, Chime is changing the way people bank. They offer the most rewarding fee free banking. This is fee free banking built for you. It's not like traditional banks where they charge overdraft fees and monthly fees and all that junk. We're talking about thousands of fee free ATMs. Why give your money away for nothing?

[Kevin Ryan]

You're trying to. They've created a world. We have to pay to get our own money.

[H. Foley]

That's right.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're holding hostage.

[H. Foley]

Chime is built for the salt of the earth people. Not those 1 percenters out there. Gang. Let's go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes. Chime members can benefit from up to $1,150 in annual rewards. Fee Free direct deposit unlocks the most rewarding way to bank at chime. It's rated five stars by USA Today for customer service. Real humans 24. 7.

[H. Foley]

Let's go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like the big man said, my younger self would have loved this. Constantly getting jammed up with overdraft fees. Direct deposit this, that. You can even get up to $500 of your pay. When you say with my pay. Come on. What are we doing? Chime is not just smarter banking. It's the most rewarding way to bank. Join the millions who are already banking Fee free today. Head to chime.comgarbage that's chime.comgarbage. it only takes a few minutes to sign up. Chime.comgarbage Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services for MyPay and Chime Card provided by Chime's bank partners. Optional products and services may have fees or charges. Stated annual percentage yield and cash back for Chime prime only. No minimum balance required. Checking account ranking based on the J.D. power survey published October 20, 2025. For more information on APY rates, MyPay, Spot Me and travel perks, go to Chime.com disclosure. All right, let's see here. This was from Bass Combs Base Combs. Is it garbage to hold your beer while you slow dance? Oh, I mean, I like it.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. That's a gentleman's move. You. Because you know what? That shows you you're not trying. You're. That you're out there for your lady. Now you're doing this pussy. Oh, that's a good idea. I'm gonna start holding a drink more. Not.

[Kevin Ryan]

You said this, like, two weeks ago.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I really want to start. I want to have a drink in my hand at all times.

[Kevin Ryan]

We had two weeks to do it, and you haven't done it.

[H. Foley]

You haven't seen me out. I did have it in my hand when I was at fucking a cookout the other day. I had. I had a Perrier in my hand the whole time that I brought.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's trashy.

[H. Foley]

Why?

[Kevin Ryan]

Because you. Yeah, we know.

[H. Foley]

I brought a case.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did you?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

But everybody.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very nice.

[H. Foley]

Different flavors. Now, it was theirs, which I thought was very classy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, is theirs. That's very classy.

[H. Foley]

He had cans of Perrier.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's better than any shindig you've ever put together.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, it's pretty good.

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't expect that from him.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Friend of ours, Colin Chamberlain.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, very nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

Bit of a hillbilly charcuterie board, the

[H. Foley]

whole nine yards, huh? Yeah, it was very classy. He's like, you want a seltzer? I think he had him there for me, which kind of sucks. And it's kind of cool.

[Kevin Ryan]

You want to know how I found out?

[H. Foley]

Keep him out of the medicine cabinet.

[Kevin Ryan]

How? I'm not classy. I was in Germany, then we went to France, and I ordered a meat and cheese plate that was a little outside of my wheelhouse.

[H. Foley]

You don't know what you're getting. Fucking brains.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was. I was like, breads. Yeah, we'll do the meat and cheese plate and like, past it, dude. This thing came out with fucking goat brains. I. I didn't know cheddar cheese could have mold on it.

[H. Foley]

Anybody got any Febreze on them? Jesus Christ.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was a rough. Just ate the grapes, fucking holding my nose, throwing fucking pieces. Pieces of cheese down my gullet. Yeah, they were like, are you done? I'm like, yeah, I'm done. All right. I want you to eat up my Elios. Yeah, that's like.

[H. Foley]

You're gonna snickers to get this taste out of my mouth.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that's dangerous territory.

[Kevin Ryan]

I wasn't thinking. I was, like, comfortable. I was a little bit of adventurous. And I said, I'll do the meat

[H. Foley]

and cheese plate right There we are there. Comes out with a clothespin that.

[Kevin Ryan]

What the hell are they doing over there?

[H. Foley]

They love that. They got cheese over there with maggots in it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Big something. My mom would say. Idiot. Huge maggots. That ain't fit for human consumption. Everybody are eating worms. That's a. That's a big Denise thing, too. Why do I have Doing the. The gagging in the

[H. Foley]

Korean food?

[Kevin Ryan]

No. Hey, goddamn Patriot, you straight.

[H. Foley]

You strike me as the kind of family that you probably didn't eat French fries after 9, 11, and, like, freedom fries.

[Kevin Ryan]

Goddamn America dumping out the wine and.

[H. Foley]

No, we.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, we didn't do that at the time. Niecy was drinking Sutter Home, which is an American beverage. I was always good for breast cancer, too.

[H. Foley]

What?

[Kevin Ryan]

They were always doing some breast cancer. Sutter Home. The white zinfandel.

[H. Foley]

Sutter Home was because it's pink. I guess So I got a dime of that money.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember. That's when they switched back to. They would do these small boxes of wine. These small pink boxes.

[H. Foley]

Box wine became.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude, I remember then they would just sit there. Each one, they'd have my. She'd have one, and my stepdad would have. Because they were like mini boxes, and they were. I can put them down.

[H. Foley]

That box wine was huge. I love that. It's like the party ball of the mid-2000s.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, of course.

[H. Foley]

Like, party ball.

[Kevin Ryan]

Guy who always wants to be the guy with a drink.

[H. Foley]

Madison Seltzer.

[Kevin Ryan]

Empty.

[H. Foley]

I'm getting accused of drinking without it.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

Yeah. People are saying that I'm drinking when I don't have anything in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

You do that. And we got an ice cube.

[H. Foley]

I don't need this.

[Kevin Ryan]

This one's just funny. This is from all the toast. $10 hard stuff. Ever eat powder out of a Crystal Light packet? It's the closest I've ever come to hard drugs. I get that. That'll make you blink and then blink again, though.

[H. Foley]

Crystal light. No, but for a while, I was taking lemon and dipping in sugar and crushing it.

[Kevin Ryan]

The baby likes lemons.

[H. Foley]

The baby likes lemons?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Now that's an odd duck right there.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm an odd guy.

[H. Foley]

He's into lemons?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

What do you mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

He's just chewing a lemon. I think they did like a r. They like that? No, like the. I like. Bite it and he doesn't like it. And it's like it goes back into it.

[H. Foley]

Really. Has a sour Skittle. Those things are great.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uhhuh.

[H. Foley]

I love them.

[Luke]

Babies.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes.

[H. Foley]

Lemon. No shit.

[Luke]

They like the intense sour and tart flavor.

[H. Foley]

No kidding. Huh. I like mussels. When I was a baby.

[Luke]

Helps expand their palate and prevents picky eating.

[Kevin Ryan]

Whoo.

[H. Foley]

There you go.

[Luke]

Someone.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't care how many lemons he has. He ain't gonna have. That cheese plate I had ain't gonna like that. It is like he. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You don't seem picky. Right? Anything you're giving me you don't like?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, not. I mean, he wasn't huge. I mean, their palate is developing, so it's not like a. Not like it. Like, he wasn't big on eggs for a minute. Turn the corner on them. Uh, yeah. No holy key to anything. For the most, it's mostly like if he's hungry or not. When we were over in Germany, his. My wife's mom made him some sort of parge or something in the morning. He wasn't fucking. He wasn't having that. I had to put some, you know, goldfish or something. Crush up some crackers in there. Put it in. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I couldn't imagine.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. No, but he.

[H. Foley]

Turn of the century German porridge.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it was. Yeah. I don't know. I guess maybe the race.

[H. Foley]

What are these rocks?

[Kevin Ryan]

Salt dust. But yeah. Now, holy. Pretty much anything. Anything you give them. It's all in these. I mean, a lot of it's in the, you know, the pouches on the go.

[H. Foley]

I know a lot of adults eat those. Who the fuck are we talking to That o'?

[Kevin Ryan]

Connor. Yeah, he does like the juice boxes, but, dude, it's like fucking turkey bolognese with. And they're like. Chef, what do you mean in the pouches?

[H. Foley]

Wait, is it baby food?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Oh, so it's mushed up turkey. Like turkey dinner.

[Kevin Ryan]

Turkey dinner, yeah. Mushed up turkey dinner.

[H. Foley]

I like that. Why don't you Just give him the turkey.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who the. I got time to make a turkey. What are you talking about? Time to make him six hours to make a turkey. So. My baby, you just yelled at how I'm raising my. Why don't you make him a turkey? Why don't you give him turkey?

[H. Foley]

I thought baby food should be sweet.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's all. Dude, look at. Look at the pouch. Find the pouches. It's all.

[H. Foley]

Is it real turkey?

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

Huh? Is it real turkey?

[Kevin Ryan]

Turkey flavored. That's from a concentrate turkey with an E. What? There's this one that's. Yeah, those turkey Bolognese right there. Look at the turkey Bolognese. Spaghetti serenity. Kids, look at all those flavors. Wild caught. Wild caught salmon.

[H. Foley]

What are you talking about?

[Kevin Ryan]

With butternut squash and beets. Free range pork with green bean and sweet potato.

[H. Foley]

Luke, back me up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Grass fed bison with kombucha and a little bit of tequila. What?

[H. Foley]

93 bucks. How many getting? Oh, like a lot.

[Luke]

It's too close to dog food.

[H. Foley]

It's so. It's so close to cat food. It's crazy. Wild caught salmon. Now can you see the fibers of the meat in there or is it just pure mush?

[Kevin Ryan]

It's a mush, daddy.

[H. Foley]

They ain't using real stuff. Yeah, you think so?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, dude, unless like black. Unless they just sold the black water or something. They go in, they. Next thing you know, you're eating goldfish. Chicken salad.

[H. Foley]

Can you eat goldfish?

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm sure you could probably get a nice steak. Will be small, but. Yeah, I'm sure you get a fillet off it, huh? Yes. Let's see here. This one's from Tommy Heglin. Yo, this is Tommy Haglin. The Haglunds. The Haglins are a. The Heglunds fight dirty through the house down the street. Where?

[H. Foley]

Over by the Haglins house.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, you know Tammy and Bobby Haglin? Yeah. Well, they're. They're youngest, Tommy, he's a fighter. Yeah, he's a tough kid. Tough kid. Tough as nails.

[H. Foley]

Just driving that car down the street. It's all loud.

[Kevin Ryan]

That is one thing that I, Tommy

[H. Foley]

Eglund, shout out to Tommy Eglund. I like it.

[Kevin Ryan]

My family, dude. There was this thing of identifies what shore point you go to. And it was like Avalon, you do whatever. Atlantic City, you do this dude sea aisle was. You work in construction. And no less than six of your cousins are you meeting on the beach that day. And I was like, holy, Holy shit. Because there's like 15 to 20 of us. Yeah, but that's what all. But everybody. You hear my family talk about, you know, you know, the Haglins, you know, and then they go, what? Jimmy Haglin? Nah, I think it was. And it's like. It's always about how good of an athlete they were or how tough they were. That's the only. That's the only two things they're taught. Kid was a great basketball player or substance abuse problems. That's why he's not a basketball player anymore.

[H. Foley]

Son's not doing great.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

A problem. That's what we always have. Problem problems. Nah, they just all fucked up on perks. We talking problems.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, cokehead.

[H. Foley]

Long division's a problem. I like the yak. Holy. Kid likes to yak.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is from Tommy Haglund. Dude, the Haglins, they gotta be from northeast Philly.

[H. Foley]

Tommy hit us up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ever brag that your internal clock is so good that you know what time it is without a watch?

[H. Foley]

What are you. Kramer.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's crazy. Dude. That's a great one. That's up there with like, you know,

[H. Foley]

your knee when it rains. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like I. My legs don't get cold. Like that kind of thing. You know what I mean? Like some weird superhuman. Yeah. Strength that you think you have cold on both.

[H. Foley]

Me cold don't bother 8 day. He cold don't bother me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ah, that's great, dude.

[H. Foley]

A very Heglin thing to say.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yo, yo. The Haglins. Damien Bobby Heglin.

[H. Foley]

It's 4 o'.

[Kevin Ryan]

Clock. The Cliggetts click

[H. Foley]

out to the click.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's. I'll probably see the click. It's this summer. Very soon go down ashore, we go to Alfie's.

[H. Foley]

Click. It's probably like to split an appetizer, don't they? Sure. Split naps.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would. Dude, I would love if my mom would let me just to go like if I could get her phone book from like 2003.

[H. Foley]

I think it's the Garrity.

[Kevin Ryan]

And just go through the names, dude. Corcorans.

[H. Foley]

Corcorans. Uhhuh. Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

So many of them. Let's see here. This was from Hugh Jazz. That's pretty good. I didn't notice that. $10, homie. Never have one red. You ever have a cousin or family member you were forced to hang out with that kind of scares you? I had a goth cousin with ICP and horror movie posters in his room that I had to hang with. Scared the shit out of me.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Those people that I. That my mom sent me to when her mom was dying. They're sweet people, the Lipfords. Shout out to the Lipfords. But I was little, and the one son was into, like, Pink Floyd and shit like that. And I didn't understand what that was. I just knew he wore black band T shirts that scared me. And they had, like, a fort in the woods.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, devil worshipers.

[H. Foley]

No, there was like fireworks and dirt bikes and all that kind of stuff. And I was just too young for it, and I didn't like it. They were the kind of woods, when you walked out there, it was, you know, it was colder and darker than in the sunlight. Yeah, I didn't like it. You throw that a lot of worms around, a couple of nudie mags that I wasn't ready for. I. What the fuck's going on? I don't like it. Yeah, he's scary. Probably a sweet kid.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mine was my mom's friend, single mom, a son who was like, Danny's age, and then a girl was my age. So they would go out, right? Like, oh, you're gonna go. Like, they would drop us off. They dropped us off at her house. Then my mom and her went out for, like, dinner or something like that. And we all. All the kids stayed at the house. And I remember this kid would be great.

[H. Foley]

That was sometimes. That was great.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I mean, when it was like our crew, like, it was like, you know, like our tight circle of friends. It was like there was a crew where it was like, I was friends with the younger sons. Danny was friends with the oldest boy. Like they met at the soccer field. And then we became boys when we were like five, and now we're like 10. Our dads became drinking buddies. Everybody would go, oh, we're going out to dinner. We're just going to drop the four families, kids all at this house. Then all the parents are going to go. And it would just be like, chaos. That's when it was fucking awesome. Shout out to the Egans, the Hecklands, the Heglunds. But this kid, he had a. Dude. I remember Black light was cool. This kid had a strobe light in his room. And he put the food, you're in there.

[H. Foley]

Season up, dude. He put it with a taser.

[Kevin Ryan]

He put the Foo Fighters on. It might as well have been Manson. He might as well been playing Pink Floyd backwards. Dude, it scared. And he was, like, not moshing, but, like, doing this. And, like, because it was in the strobe light, it was like the fragment. It's. I remember being like, mom, this is pre self you couldn't get a hold of this. Dumb bros. Probably out there drinking white Symphon, though. I was so. Well, what the. It's like a haunted house. This kid. Danny was. Danny wasn't there. And it was just like. It was like, kind of.

[H. Foley]

No backup.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, nothing. Nobody checking my six. It was so scary. Oh, and he had, like, a Stone Temple pilot shirt on. And, like, that was. That might as well been the devil music to me. I didn't know nothing about that, Scott.

[H. Foley]

While it was a freaking freak dog. There's a flip side to that, which we got a lot, because my older cousin Kelly, she's about five, six years older than me. And all the girls in, like, the family circle, you know, like the other families that we were all friends with. Everyone's pretty and they're cool, and they know what's going on. They all smell good. It was awesome. We get stuck over there on a Friday night. All the parents go out, hang out at the Wilsons. It only happened, like, once or twice where I got to hang out there, because then they moved. But their old house was awesome.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's how bad they wanted to get away from you. Holy. This kid knows where we live.

[H. Foley]

Oh, it was great. Pizzas. Yeah. Cosmos. Going Around. Magazine, Cosmopolitan.

[Kevin Ryan]

Gotcha.

[H. Foley]

Every chick. They were cool chicks. It was a good feeling. It's a very safe, cool feeling. You know what I mean? Not Megadeth, boy, the. You were hanging out with.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it's. It was like. It's.

[H. Foley]

There's a little kid seeing a dude with eye makeup, like, what the fuck, dude?

[Kevin Ryan]

It was like. It was the first kid, too, who, like, I kind of knew, but then I hadn't seen for years, and he, like, grew up.

[H. Foley]

Oh, that was weird.

[Kevin Ryan]

And was like. He might have been driving at the time. He was a little older than Danny, so, like, even my. You know, he, like. It was intimidating to Danny as well. So it was like. Even, like, the tough guy in my, like, Dan, this kid's gonna be a handful for Danny, too. You know what I mean? It was. It was just like, that's up.

[H. Foley]

You go into thinking how you're gonna take him in case he goes.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, then, you know, he went. He took a hard right down a very, very bumpy, bumpy road.

[H. Foley]

Stop listening to that Foo Fighters. I'll tell you that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Let's just say weed is a gateway drug.

[H. Foley]

The fact that the Foo Fighters scared you.

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't know.

[H. Foley]

What song was it.

[Kevin Ryan]

What year did the Foo fighters come out?

[H. Foley]

95.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I'm 10. I'm 9.

[H. Foley]

What?

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean, what? Well, the fact that my mother left

[H. Foley]

me with a. I thought about it

[Kevin Ryan]

now maybe monkey wrench or something. I didn't know. I think it was everlong. Was that off that first album? No, man, I. Dude, I remember him jumping off the dresser onto the bed in the strobe light, and like, slowly. I was a guy. We got to turn the lights on and call the cops,

[Luke]

Buddy.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't listen, you seem like you got a lot going on.

[H. Foley]

Says watch Boy Meets World. Get my head out straight.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, no, this is a rancher. This is a one level house.

[H. Foley]

Nowhere to run, huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

And it had that old carpet that was like super plush, you know what I mean? Oh. I didn't like anything about this joint point. And it was in, like. It was in a part of the town that I didn't know that well,

[H. Foley]

you know what I mean, man, you had some anxiety. You're trying to figure out an escape plan, how to beat this kid up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, why would I not have anxiety? I got left with this kid who I haven't seen in 10 years, you

[H. Foley]

know, you said you were not.

[Kevin Ryan]

He used to be my neighbor. Then there was like a divorce and stuff, and they split down.

[H. Foley]

She left you with him? That's crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, he was.

[H. Foley]

He want to see a dead cat?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that. That kind of kid. You know what I mean? And he would always tell you stories about his dad. And you're like, yeah, well, when I'm with my dad, his dad and his uncle lived together. So it was like this kid. And this kid ended up like, so bad. Like the worst. The worst you could be without dying. Genuinely, like that bad. Danny saw him. Danny saw him at a Wawa on Aramingo Avenue. And he asked Danny for change.

[H. Foley]

Damn.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. And Dan's like, yo, what's up?

[H. Foley]

Still got that strobe light?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, Foo Fighters. Now Danny's like, yo, what's up, dude, it's me. And he was just like, boot scooting. Boogie zombie.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, monkey wrench. Monkey wrench. You start running away, it's a grown man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Gives me a wedge. We gotta wrap it up, gang.

[H. Foley]

What a fun one.

[Kevin Ryan]

What a fun one is the big

[H. Foley]

man said, yeah, good old family episodes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really try to sell it at the end. You guys had a good time, right? Tell your friends. Remember how much fun we had. Gang, Gang.

[H. Foley]

We'll see in Cleveland. We'll see you in Pittsburgh. We'll see in Denver. We love you and we'll see you next week. Peace.