Fat Guy Breakfasts! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Summary

Podcast Summary: Are You Garbage? – "Fat Guy Breakfasts! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley"

Date: April 13, 2026 | Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

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Episode Overview

This lively "are-you-garbage" family episode features hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley with no guest, dishing out confessions, playful insults, and discussions about trashy habits, personal routines, and breakfast indulgences. The classic blend of self-deprecation and acute observational comedy drives the episode, with a particular focus on the slobbier side of breakfast, house etiquette, and 90s-2000s working-class culture. Audience questions and recurring bits about class, bad decisions, and "dirtbag" life give loyal listeners plenty of laughs and relatable content.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Paper Towel Crisis: Surviving Without Supplies

• Toilet Paper as Paper Towel

  • Foley narrates how, running out of paper towels, he used toilet paper on his countertop paper towel holder and justified the improvisation ("I did. Didn't even think about it. We were out of paper towel." [05:18])
  • Kevin balks at the practice, teasing Foley for being "jammed up" and highlighting the trashy ingenuity ("That toilet paper has fecal matter on it." [07:32])
  • Foley counters, “How do you know? … I'm not an animal. I'm a dirtbag.” [07:36]
  • Discussion spirals into household cleaning ethics, the relative garbage-ness of dish towels versus paper towel, and the perils of single-ply Scott brand.

• New York City vs. Suburb Paper Acquisition

  • The boys compare the quick, convenient errand runs possible in NYC to the slower, more domestic struggle of suburban life.
  • Kevin: “I can have paper towels here in five minutes.” [12:59]
    Foley: “You need paper towels. What's it take you, 45 minutes? You gotta go to Costco?” [13:28]

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2. Garbage Neighbor Etiquette & Borrowing Culture

• Foley and Kevin reminisce about borrowing food or supplies from neighbors as kids and as adults, blending nostalgia with awkwardness about boundaries.
• Foley: “We treat our neighbors like we're living in a dorm.” [13:44]
• Both reveal they’ve never had a formal dinner at a neighbor's house, noting shifts in adult relationships ("No dinner, huh?" [14:26])

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3. Solo Dining & The Joy of Eating in Private

• Discussion of the joy in eating alone at home: "There's nothing I love more...I got home…my wife had already eaten…that's all you want to hear? Oh I already ate." [16:13]
• Kevin and Foley compare their eating-out habits:
  • Kevin prefers eating at the restaurant now and then, Foley is all about bringing food home ("It's so close. That's what I mean. Like, I'm gonna run downstairs, grab pizza and come right back." [22:36])

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4. Fat Guy Breakfasts: The Two-Bagel Morning

• The big reveal: Kevin gets "dimed out" by Luke for his breakfast habits, hence the episode's title.
• Bagel Confession
  • Kevin recounts bringing two bagels into the office: a bacon, egg & cheese on sesame and an everything bagel with cream cheese. He rationalizes getting two for "variety and volume." (“I want to be plugged up. Okay, I'm going to be full. I want to sit there and go, that was too much. I shouldn't." [27:01])
• Joke about sneaking the bagels so as not to be seen by Foley, highlighting their mutual gluttony and shame:
  • "I had to eat one in the bathroom. I couldn't bust out two bagels in front of you. I'd never hear the end of it." [28:44]
• Cumulative calorie intake becomes comedic fodder: “What? 1200 calories in bagel?” [31:11]

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5. Plastic Bag Hoarding & Environmental Trashiness

• Question from a listener about importing plastic grocery bags from Florida due to Philly's bag ban.
  • Kevin: “Whoa.” [32:00]
• Conversation about all the creative, sometimes trashy uses for plastic bags: picking up after dogs, trash liners, etc.
• Foley: "You can't pick up the dog shit with them canvas-as bags, anything. You ruin your tote." [33:15]

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6. Fashion, Hoodies, & Suburban Style Evolution

• Anecdotes about when hoodies became “cool,” the transition from college crewnecks, and the social status attached to branded apparel.

  • Foley: “When hoodies hit, man, I remember driving with my hood up, and my teacher saw me pulling into school...” [43:16]

• The hosts roast certain “dirtbag” fashion moves:

  • “Ever tuck your ears in your hat? That is a top tier dirt bag wigger move.” [35:22]

• Kevin: “You look like an idiot. An absolute idiot.” [36:02]

• Clothing price one-upmanship and generational comparison:

  • “What was the most expensive piece of clothing you got as a kid?” [48:49]
  • Foley: “My dad and my stepdad wore the same jeans in the same tops… There was no fashion.” [51:35]

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7. Childhood Academics & Therapy Shame

• Both hosts share stories about being sent for academic or behavioral testing as kids.
  • Foley: "Had to go to the place next to McDonald's. I said, what the fuck? This ain't good." [59:30]
  • Kevin: “They would pop me, realize I’m dumb, do something about it for like two weeks, and then it would just stop.” [58:45]
• Embarrassing “tutor” stories, including Foley’s memory of a giant Chinese-food-eating math tutor whose egg roll lands on his homework. [61:57]

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8. Petty Adult Grievances & Customer Service Battles

• "Garbage" adult behaviors: Is it trashy to threaten to invoice a company for your time after bad customer service?
  • Foley: “Who’s going to reimburse me? I’ve never really done that. I don’t give them. I don’t give into the fight.” [64:47]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Using Toilet Paper in the Kitchen:

  • Foley: “I'm not an animal. I'm a dirtbag.” [07:36]

• Excusing Trashy Food Volume:

  • Foley: “I want to be airtight. I want to be plugged up. I want to sit there and go, that was too much. I shouldn't. That's what I want out of this.” [27:01]

• On Borrowing from Neighbors:

  • Foley: “We treat our neighbors like we’re living in a dorm.” [13:44]

• Fashion Self-Loathing:

  • Foley: "I remember my brother's boy was like, why are you dressed like Tony Soprano? ... I didn't know what it was." [52:38]

• Childhood Testing Anxiety:

  • Foley: “This ain't a promotion.” [59:42]

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Interesting Timestamps

• Paper Towels & Substitutes: [04:34–09:30]
• Neighborhood Etiquette: [13:34–15:07]
• Eating Alone at Home: [16:03–17:16]
• Bagel Confessions/Fat Guy Routine: [24:42–31:37]
• Plastic Bags/Environmental Law: [31:41–34:34]
• Hoodie Culture/Fashion: [42:09–48:49]
• Childhood Tutors & Academic Shame: [57:00–63:19]
• Customer Service Rants: [64:22–65:18]

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Tone & Style

Fast-paced, humorous, and unapologetically blue-collar, with hosts roasting each other and themselves. Banter is affectionate yet biting, heavily laced with self-awareness and analogies to classic “dirtbag” Americana.

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For New Listeners

This episode embodies everything AYG fans love: trashy confessions, comedic takes on the little indignities of daily life, and nostalgic trips through working-class Northeast baby boomer and Gen X culture. If you’ve ever used toilet paper as a household fix, doubled up on bagels, or felt judged for your childhood fashion, you’ll feel right at home.

No guests, no glitz – just the bozos and the homies, taking garbage to new heights.

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Missed the episode? This deep-dive into self-diagnosed trashiness, breakfast debauchery, and accidental life skills will let you jump right in at any point.

Transcript

[Kevin Ryan]

Hold on there, gang. California, the boys are coming. I'm saying it one more time. California, the boys are coming. Come see us down there in Los Angeles for the Netflix is a joke festival. Grab the squad. Let's have a good time.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah. If you've never been to an AYG live show at Stand up, then we play AYG with the crowd. You guys submit your questions. We pick the best questions. We shit on you. It's a good time. Get your tickets. We'll see you there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Find out if you're garbage. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R U Garbage.

[Joe Foley]

Hey. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that if they grew up to be classy. Yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash.

[Joe Foley]

Trash, trash, trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm your host, Sate Trolley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tody's in the new edition. She's now doing a little extra work for that new Murder She Wrote spinoff.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, well, okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm. Yeah, good for her. It's called Murder youse Wrote. Yeah, I gotta laugh. So my coast's coming.

[Joe Foley]

I don't know why you're being so antagonistic.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is what we call a family episode or enemy episode.

[Joe Foley]

You be the judge.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just the boys, the bozo and the homie. Just the boys, the bozos and the homies. Just the way we like it. My CO is coming at you from across the table. My best pal in the whole wide world. A lot of people say there's no heroes left in this universe. Kevin James Ryan.

[Joe Foley]

Next to me is a Jo. What's up, gang? Shout out to the. Shout out to everybody. Thanks for tuning in as always. Please make sure you rate View subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. And the boys are climbing the charts.

[Kevin Ryan]

Climbing.

[Joe Foley]

Get your ladders out. The boys are climbing the charts. The show's look out Bayard and Everett. It's going up every week. Gang, get on the garbage train. We love yous. Then obviously the greatest website of all time. Www.patreon.com. all you garbage, you go over there, you get all that bonus content. You sign up today, you get the last five years of bonus content. I'm talking hard feelings. I'm talking AYG bonus episodes, the whole nine yards. A lot, a lot.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know if you notice, I keep. It's happening once a day now.

[Joe Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Where I don't misspeak something with my brain and my mouth is off or like the last word is messed up.

[Joe Foley]

Sure. I have that a lot too.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's not drugs. It's not alcohol or anything like that. It could be, but it could have been. But it's not.

[Luke]

Sounds like it is.

[Joe Foley]

No, it doesn't sound like it's not.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm just saying that I'm starting to get concerned that I do have, like, early Parkinson's or dementia or something like that.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah. Like, what do you want from me? I don't know. I don't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know.

[Joe Foley]

It could be for sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

So I gotta go in.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah. Huh.

[Kevin Ryan]

It would if I had dementia. We still do the show.

[Joe Foley]

I mean, I would tell you if we were doing the show, you'd be in here at a cardboard cutout. I'd be. I'd be on an island somewhere.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a pretty good episode today, huh? Yeah.

[Joe Foley]

There'd be a hologram Kippy in here. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Kibby's on a space station. Anyway, I heard you have some. So you want to run by me, Is that right? Which. My office door is always open to you.

[Joe Foley]

You seem to be. Sometimes you make it seem like there's, like, production meetings that, like, are, like you've gotten snippets of information. That's just. I don't have anything I want to run by you. I have.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can I tell you this real quick?

[Joe Foley]

Sure, yeah. I wasn't in the middle of something. This water. This water so cold. I remember the first time I had cold water. It was 1972. My mom had just left me. She was wearing leather pants. Hey, play the hits, will you? I don't know what you were about to say, but I know I got it. No, I remember the first time I had Gobstoppers.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've been drinking.

[Joe Foley]

I shoved it in my asshole. By the way, my son found my belly button recently. Whoa. Oh, man. He caught a whiff of that thing down there. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ripe, cheesy.

[Joe Foley]

I bet he got a finger in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

I slapped it out like Maury's Cheese Shop. I don't know where it's coming from. How are you supposed to eat in there? You ever been in a Murray's Cheese Shop?

[Luke]

I just want. Recently.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know they want you to have lunch in there.

[Joe Foley]

Oh, it's like eating a foot.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it smells like feet in there.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right. A little Febreze.

[Joe Foley]

Murray, Crack a window, pal. Yeah, I got. You know, as you know, we're. We're Dirt bags.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh yeah.

[Joe Foley]

Right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh yeah.

[Joe Foley]

And to the fullest, to the max. Dude. Yeah. This was. I mean like there was just multiple steps to this and I didn't even realize it was happening until it was over. And I looked at it, I was like, oh, that's a. That's the definition of jammed up. Ok Luke, run it the toilet paper. A roll of toilet paper on the paper towel holder as paper towel.

[Kevin Ryan]

Whoa. First of all I thought it was a mini baseball bat.

[Joe Foley]

You playing for the Trent and Thunder?

[Kevin Ryan]

What's going on there?

[Joe Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is that your house?

[Joe Foley]

Uh huh.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who did that?

[Joe Foley]

I did. Didn't even think about it. We were out of paper towel.

[Kevin Ryan]

Out of paper towels.

[Joe Foley]

Paper towel.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who says paper towel?

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, paper towel. About four beer, four or five beer. I love that guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you think that guy's place smells like?

[Joe Foley]

I don't know. You could use a paper towel though. I know that one.

[Kevin Ryan]

I get four or five beer, two beer.

[Joe Foley]

Probably smells like Mary's.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not in this country.

[Joe Foley]

I was cleaning. Wiping stuff that way, you know, I. And I needed some sort of absorbent paper product.

[Kevin Ryan]

You are cleaning?

[Joe Foley]

Yeah. You should try it some.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean that's even worse.

[Joe Foley]

Okay, but I don't have paper towel so I'm already. I already sprayed. I already sprayed the counter down.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right.

[Joe Foley]

Right. Right now I go. I turn around, there's no paper towels.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right.

[Joe Foley]

I open under the sink. I'm looking all. Everywhere.

[Kevin Ryan]

You go into the back under the sink in the kitchen.

[Joe Foley]

Not for the. Not for the toilet paper. I'm looking for paper towel everywhere. Then there is none. I go fuck. I didn't buy a big one cuz I was at a fucking cvs. So I just bought a two pack like a dickhead. That last year an afternoon. You got a baby. A paper. Two pack of paper towels don't get you out of the. Not out of the night.

[Kevin Ryan]

I love paper towels.

[Joe Foley]

So then I just. It's the shitty. It's Scott toilet paper. My wife's family were in town, they bought a fucking 36 pack of Scott. I got this shit for the rest of my life. You can't use it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I am so sick of that shit.

[Joe Foley]

Dude. It's one. It's single. But so then I'm using it. I wipe. I use that to wipe down and now I just got it and I. I need to like dry my hands and stuff. So that's.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's rough drying your hands but bad

[Joe Foley]

news sticks to it and stuff a

[Kevin Ryan]

little dingleberries get all over it.

[Joe Foley]

Big J called them the little rolled up joints.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

It gets worse.

[Joe Foley]

GI Joe joints.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, the fact that you even put that on your counter is. If that was my house. Yeah.

[Joe Foley]

What?

[Kevin Ryan]

That. If that was my house, that would be somewhat acceptable.

[Joe Foley]

That's acceptable. I don't know what circles you think I'm rolling in.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, because that toilet paper has fecal matter on it.

[Joe Foley]

No, it doesn't.

[Kevin Ryan]

How do you know what.

[Joe Foley]

Unless you came with it. I wasn't in the bathroom. Oh. I'm not an animal. I'm a dirtbag.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, you didn't take it off the. Off the. Off the hoop.

[Joe Foley]

No. Off the hoop.

[Kevin Ryan]

What are we talking about then? That's all good, baby.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, that's good. Use it. That's what I'm saying.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is that still there, or is that, like, done as a joke?

[Joe Foley]

As a joke. No, that's still there right now. Wow.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got to get your shit together a little bit.

[Joe Foley]

I got to get paper towel. Yeah, you get four or five beer. Yeah, but in a pinch, that's fine. That's. What am I. Also, I mean, I'm not having company

[Kevin Ryan]

over in a pinch. Okay.

[Joe Foley]

It was just me and my wife.

[Kevin Ryan]

Doing what?

[Joe Foley]

Mean. To do what?

[Kevin Ryan]

Leave there as like. That's gonna be your paper towel until it's gone.

[Joe Foley]

Until I. Until it's replaced with paper towel.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's not much you can really do with it, though.

[Joe Foley]

It's more than nothing. I'm not gonna wet my hands and walk away like an asshole. Well, don't you have a.

[Kevin Ryan]

You ever heard of a dish towel?

[Joe Foley]

Yeah. Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're nice.

[Joe Foley]

Sometimes they're very nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

You get a nice clean one and you put it over the sink so it doesn't get all moldy, and you just, you know, you just be wary of it.

[Joe Foley]

I understand that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Don't rub like mashed potatoes.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, but. I know. Yeah, and if. If I was a lot. Yeah, for sure. I. I agree with you, but you can't. If you spill a little something on the. See, the problem with the dish towel, right, is I'm cleaning. I'm doing dishes. I'm. I'm doing all this stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're not. You can't dry dishes with towel.

[Joe Foley]

It's fucking crazy. Be leaving fucking cotton all over my frying pans. You can't use the dish towel, like, wipe up stuff. And then also on your hand, it just gets too.

[Kevin Ryan]

Of course. Too.

[Joe Foley]

Too ratty. And it don't dry fast.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, you also can't be putting Clorox on the countertop. Wiping it up with that and then drying your hands with it.

[Joe Foley]

No. Yeah, so cleaning off the potatoes. That's just for like. That's for things it can handle. Not a lot as one ply. Toilet paper handles. It's like I'm at a gas station. It sucks.

[Kevin Ryan]

You might want to think about replacing that scrubby back there too, on the left. He looks a little dried out.

[Joe Foley]

No, that's pretty brand new here.

[Kevin Ryan]

That guy's. Nah, that guy's been in the sun.

[Joe Foley]

Nah, that's. I think that's.

[Kevin Ryan]

You don't live in a blue zone. I'll tell you that. That thing is hurting.

[Joe Foley]

What's a blue zone?

[Kevin Ryan]

It's where people live that are very healthy. Your green sponge.

[Joe Foley]

What do you live under the fucking center of the earth?

[Kevin Ryan]

Your green sponge doesn't. And what's that big sponge in the back? Is that for the baby to wash?

[Joe Foley]

I'm not sure if I'm being honest with you. That was new. And when I sent a picture to Luke, I go, they're gonna bring that up for sure. I don't know. It looks like something. The only sponges I've ever seen like that were fucking dudes who do drywall. Wipe the dust off the new drywall. That's the only time I've ever seen a sponge like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was nice when they did that.

[Joe Foley]

I don't know what my way. I haven't seen it in use. That was there this week. Yeah, maybe she uses it. It's got. It's baby related For a little sponge bath maybe. But we don't do that in the sink.

[Kevin Ryan]

You don't wash the baby in the sink? No yard.

[Joe Foley]

Take them down to the truck stop. I can spray them down real nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wow.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, but that's. That's the. That's the. That's the kind of life I'm living. And it wasn't. It did not cross my mind until I looked over at one point to dry my hands and I pulled that. And I'm like, the trashy thing to me is all these steps to get here. Get it on the. Even the holder were all. I didn't think I was jammed up. I was just like, ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I went, oh, I've made a lot of shitty decisions to get to this point.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's a nice looking paper towel holder, though.

[Joe Foley]

Thanks.

[Kevin Ryan]

Rustic little marble in the bottom. Is that my. Right about that?

[Joe Foley]

Some sort of stone? Yeah, yeah. Pumice.

[Kevin Ryan]

Pumice.

[Joe Foley]

No, I don't think It's a pumice.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nice countertop.

[Joe Foley]

Decent countertop.

[Kevin Ryan]

You have a kettle? You have an electric kettle?

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, she does the tea.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why don't you do it on the stove?

[Joe Foley]

Electric kettles, quicker. I don't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's whack.

[Joe Foley]

No, it's. I think, to me it's very European. Nobody I knew. I'd never seen one until she moved in and we got one.

[Kevin Ryan]

I figured she'd want to do it on the stove. You have. You have.

[Joe Foley]

I got a little waffle maker for the boy in the back. See a little guy?

[Kevin Ryan]

I see a little back. You have gas heat, right? Or gas stove?

[Joe Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Joe Foley]

I'm not living in a bullet. Stay. Rada.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got the bullet?

[Joe Foley]

Yeah. Got a French press for one of her parents.

[Kevin Ryan]

Pretty nice.

[Joe Foley]

And I think the thing in the back's for iced tea or her mom made, like, lemon water in it or something like that. I don't use none of that. I'm a frying pan, little bit of pork roll, couple of Scramby. They're the only thing I use in the kitchen.

[Kevin Ryan]

Those are out like that all the time?

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're using most of that every day, though.

[Joe Foley]

The waffle maker, the kettle, and the nutribull and the nutribullet. That's what she mixes the pancake stuff in for them.

[Kevin Ryan]

What about the anal brush? That's on the left there?

[Joe Foley]

That's for bottles.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Joe Foley]

I hope so. Or my belly button. A deep, deep dick.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a glass thing for glasses, I

[Joe Foley]

think that's specific, no?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, but I've seen them for glasses, which is nice.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, but, you know, that's the. That, to me, is it's resource. I mean, a guy of Luke's caliber would never be doing that. If I was having company, I wouldn't do it either.

[Luke]

It's a bad look, and I get it jammed up. 20 minutes, whatever. I get this.

[Joe Foley]

That's there right now.

[Luke]

Outside of New York City. It's more acceptable in New York City, right? You can run out to the bodega.

[Joe Foley]

You can get very.

[Kevin Ryan]

I can have paper towels here in five minutes.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah. Yeah. That's not like a skill you have. That's called UberEats. No, you just.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would go and get them. I can go and get them. I'd be back in five minutes if I didn't stop to get a slice. That's New York, baby.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, I get that. I'm. Why are you guys explaining New York and Uber eats to me. I get it. I jammed up when you're down there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Joe. Joe. Schlub suburbs.

[Joe Foley]

I'm slumming it.

[Kevin Ryan]

You need paper towels. What's it take you, 45 minutes? You gotta go to Costco?

[Joe Foley]

No, I could have them. I could. One, I could walk to get them. Or two, ten minutes, go to your neighbor's house. Ten minute round trip.

[Kevin Ryan]

Charlie, we ain't here. I don't even be with you anymore.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, I'm such a. We treat our neighbors like we're. Like we're living in a dorm. Like. Yeah. You got any macaronis left going? You know?

[Kevin Ryan]

Have you borrowed food off of them?

[Joe Foley]

Borrowed food is a. Is an odd.

[Kevin Ryan]

Have you went over and asked for something?

[Joe Foley]

I get a bite of that

[Kevin Ryan]

instead of.

[Joe Foley]

Finish that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sketti instead of a cup of sugar.

[Joe Foley]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Kevin Ryan]

Have you eaten dinner over any neighbors, Houses?

[Joe Foley]

I've had, you know, cocktails. I've had a. I should say I've had a. And some. They like a charcuterie.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really? But no dinner.

[Joe Foley]

No dinner, huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's interesting. I don't know.

[Joe Foley]

Have you ever had dinner out?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, me too, but I never had

[Kevin Ryan]

dinner at a neighbor's house.

[Joe Foley]

You don't have a house or whatever. Not whatever. It'd be weird.

[Kevin Ryan]

I have. I. I couldn't tell you the last.

[Joe Foley]

What would it take for you to go to one of your neighbors in your apartment, knock on the door and go, hey, man, you have any. If you have any frozen. I don't know. What are you eating nowadays?

[Kevin Ryan]

Are you crazy? Go and ask them for. For something like that. It's good. Go down the street.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, no, I know we're. We're living in a bit.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not. I'm saying that. Going over for dinner.

[Joe Foley]

I would if they. Nobody's invited me. People I don't have. You know, I wouldn't.

[Kevin Ryan]

I haven't done that. Trying to think of when the last time I ate at somebody else's house was.

[Joe Foley]

You like to do it in private.

[Kevin Ryan]

Naughty time.

[Joe Foley]

Hey, yeah, yeah, I'll come over, but I gotta eat my underwear in your bed.

[Kevin Ryan]

Don't look at me.

[Joe Foley]

And I don't want any eye contact either. Yeah, Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I always think that whenever I'm out like somebody. This would be awesome if I was by myself, if I was eating this on the couch. You know what I mean?

[Joe Foley]

No, I don't know. I don't know what you mean. Listen, I Like last night we were here late. Yeah, we were I go working. Uh huh. Well, someone ran out a little early. The rest of the team stayed. You scared out of here.

[Kevin Ryan]

Keep me fresh, Right? Cameras are off. I'm out of this dump.

[Joe Foley]

There's nothing I love more. I dislike. I don't dislike it. Not as comfortable like last night. I got home.

[Kevin Ryan]

Pizza.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah. My wife had already eaten because I was here. Awesome. I was here late.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's all you want? That's all you want to hear? Oh, I already ate.

[Joe Foley]

I know, but then I gotta sit on the.

[Kevin Ryan]

So you don't want anything? No, I don't want anything.

[Joe Foley]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Are you going in your. You going in the room? You gonna sleep? Yes.

[Joe Foley]

Who are you? Yes. He's a fucking 1980s bully.

[Kevin Ryan]

Good days. Bitch.

[Joe Foley]

She had already eaten. I was like, I'm going to go get some. I'm going to go get some ZA3 slice banger.

[Kevin Ryan]

You leave the house to go get it. You order it.

[Joe Foley]

No. Leave the house.

[Kevin Ryan]

You eat it there.

[Joe Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh?

[Joe Foley]

Eat it there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, first of all, lose your fucking attitude, all right?

[Joe Foley]

Nah, I kind of like it.

[Kevin Ryan]

1. If you're going to eat at the house.

[Joe Foley]

Yes. You're like a fucking retarded Borat. Ah, yes. I'm not gonna eat it. I'm not gonna eat there. In my neighborhood, I'll eat somewhere by myself. Randomly throughout the city.

[Kevin Ryan]

You think you'd want to be out of the house for a couple of minutes?

[Joe Foley]

I was out of the house all fucking day. Well, then I just said I worked late because my partner ran away.

[Kevin Ryan]

There you go. You don't gotta be in here busting your balls. Get on the pizza place, talking up with the guys, play a little keno, smoke some cigarettes, check out some ass walking by, you know, neighborhood guys.

[Joe Foley]

Is that what you think you are? I don't know. Sometimes you go off on these fantasies of like, someone you are not.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was there outside of my coffee shop the other night.

[Joe Foley]

Sir, get out of here. You gotta buy something. The other night there was like three dudes waiting for him to open up.

[Kevin Ryan]

There was like three guys standing outside. I said hi. And they're like, what? Nothing. Trying to be a neighborhood guy.

[Joe Foley]

You're gonna end up on a list. You keep it up.

[Kevin Ryan]

By the way, can I tell you this? The Costco guys, I invited you to

[Joe Foley]

be part of the crew. Hey, you like, you look like you know your way around a chocolate chunk. Four big. Yes, yes, yes, yes. That's your thing. Cousin Henry.

[Luke]

The rizzlers going through puberty, they need to call one up.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's the kid's name, Big justice. Throwing off the mound, a little bit of pepper on the ball, he throws

[Joe Foley]

a little bit of heat.

[Kevin Ryan]

Gotta be honest with you, an athlete?

[Joe Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, no, he's a be's a, He's a bit of a baseball player. I believe that's his.

[Kevin Ryan]

Good snap on the ball.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, good snap on the ball. Not from your.

[Kevin Ryan]

What? We're really at it today, aren't we?

[Joe Foley]

It's kind of the program really going at it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know, the way you're looking at me.

[Joe Foley]

It's called eye contact, Kevin.

[Kevin Ryan]

Talking about factor, factor, factor, factor. Let's talk about springtime. Let's talk about trying to get ready for summertime. Let's talk about not fucking pigging out all the time. Let's talk about factor meals. Ready to eat fresh, never frozen, ready in two minutes, delicious, top quality, variety,

[Joe Foley]

fantastic factor, factor meals has built around your goals, whether that's weight loss, overall nutrition, more protein or GLP1 support like the boys for strength and workout recovery checkout factors, muscle pro collection, they got you covered top to bottom, baby. Listen, I am a big factor guy. I've been a factor guy since before they were a sponsor of the program. Listen, it takes the bad decision making out of my hands. If I go, I'm all. If I'm on my way home, I'm gonna get pizza, I'm gonna get this, I'm gonna get that again. Nah, I got a shredded chicken taco bowl at the house. I'm gonna have her be ready in two minutes. Chicken taco bowl. It's fresh, never frozen. Over 100 rotating weekly meals including globally inspired flavors like Mediterranean and Asian. So there's something new to look at every friggin week, baby. And here we go. Head to factor meals.com garbage 50 off and use code garbage 50 off to get 50% off and free daily greens per box with new subscription only while supplies last until 09:27:26. See the website for more details. Do it, Kevin.

[Kevin Ryan]

Talk about hollow socks, baby.

[Joe Foley]

Hollow socks.

[Kevin Ryan]

Let me ask you a quick question, pinhead. What do you know about ultra soft? What? Excuse me? What do you know about ultra soft baby Alpaca fiber?

[Joe Foley]

I think it's like when you touch it you go, how is this even legal level of comfort?

[Kevin Ryan]

What are you talking. What do you know about thermoregulating when it's warm outside? When it's warm. When it's cold outside. Breathable when it's warm outside?

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, there you go.

[Kevin Ryan]

I messed that up.

[Joe Foley]

Hey, guy who can't read.

[Kevin Ryan]

Your feet stay warm when it's cold outside and breathable when it's warm outside.

[Joe Foley]

Uh huh.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nailed it.

[Joe Foley]

Yes, it's got moisture. Managing your feet stay dry instead of stewing in the sweat, which is odorless. Odorless alpaca fibers keep it odorless. Yes. If you're on the job, you're doing yard work, you're at tailgates, hiking, camping, travel days, cold offices, early morning dog walks. Even if you just like wearing them around the house because they are so comfortable and cozy, you'll spend I found out about myself. I'll spend good money for high quality comfortable shoes. Then I'll be a bozo and put on like nickel socks that I got from, you know, the five and dime and wonder why my feet are always so sweaty and cold. Hollow fixes the parts that actually touches your skin all day. Because they're smart people, they know what they're friggin doing. They were nice enough to send us a couple pairs. I put them on when I was shoveling the snow all summer.

[Kevin Ryan]

I have them on right now.

[Joe Foley]

And then I got inside and I go, I'm gonna have to take that. I'm not gonna take these off. Cause they're breathable, they're breathing, they're doing. They're like magic socks. Everyday socks. They got the hunt socks, got trade socks, compression socks. Whatever you need, they got you. For a limited time, Holosox is having a buy two, get two free sale a BOGO two. That's head to HollowSocks.com today and check it out. That's HollowSocks.com for up to 50% off your order. After you purchase, they'll ask you how you heard about them. Tell them support the show, tell them the boys, how you do it. Yeah, back to the show.

[Kevin Ryan]

Back to the show. If you order the slices in and eat it there, I get it, you go out to the pizza place. Just eat it out, Dave. See the pizza place, man, Just sit down for a couple minutes, relax, have your four slices and your three diet cokes and then walk back.

[Joe Foley]

It was three and two but you

[Kevin Ryan]

brought it back to the house.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, it's so close. That's what I mean. Like it's like I'm going to run

[Kevin Ryan]

downstairs, grab pizza and come right back.

[Joe Foley]

I'm back, I'm their order, wait back in like eight minutes. I'm from, they hand me the boxes, I'm already paid, I'm home in three minutes.

[Kevin Ryan]

What Are your three slices that you got?

[Joe Foley]

There's a lot of detail you're asking.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know they weren't. Three cheese.

[Joe Foley]

Who's that?

[Kevin Ryan]

Wait, I've seen Fat Kevin order pizza before.

[Joe Foley]

I'm sitting next to Fat Foley. What are you talking about? I'll take a rigatoni slice and a rigatoni slice.

[Kevin Ryan]

You get a little pasta on there Sometimes. Don't lie. Yes, you do. Yes, you do.

[Joe Foley]

Have I? Sure. Once or twice.

[Kevin Ryan]

Double cards.

[Joe Foley]

Car.

[Kevin Ryan]

Double carbs. Carl.

[Joe Foley]

Really? Really? Shoehorn that one in there. Put that in slow Mo. Not really.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've seen you get pasta slices.

[Joe Foley]

Listen, I'm not saying it's never happened.

[Luke]

You did miss Fat Kevin this morning.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why?

[Luke]

Holy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wow.

[Joe Foley]

Holy. I got you, big dog.

[Kevin Ryan]

Man, the tide's really turning around here.

[Luke]

Don't say I don't got your back.

[Kevin Ryan]

My knee's been mud around this stump for the last two months, gang. Now I got the underlings all coming around, joining the door. And it ain't because I'm doing any better. It's because they're there, starting to do worse. Join the dark side of the force.

[Joe Foley]

Dude, I need to tell you, that is. Talk about a bam. Because I had forgotten about it.

[Kevin Ryan]

What'd he do? Because it was very, very mysterious this morning, folks. As we were coming in the office, Kevin sends out a text to the group. Text saying, who wants Starbucks? Oh, wait, never mind. In, like, two seconds. What, you fucking hit your head on a hoagie or something like that?

[Joe Foley]

Oh, dude, Luke, that sucks, man. I was like, what the f. Don't take him going, what are you. I think he was like, oh, you missed this morning. What the fuck happened? That was real pecci and good feelings. Hey, how long. How long ago was it, you guys. Oh, no.

[Kevin Ryan]

What'd he do?

[Joe Foley]

I didn't do nothing. I had a nice balanced breakfast.

[Luke]

Got a new nickname. Two Bagel Kev.

[Kevin Ryan]

Two Bagels? What? Did you show up with two bagels? Or you stopped at your bagel place and came in, got him hooked?

[Luke]

I walked right in.

[Joe Foley]

You didn't know?

[Luke]

I didn't.

[Joe Foley]

I volunteered. Eva, hand up. I volunteered this information.

[Kevin Ryan]

What happened?

[Joe Foley]

What?

[Kevin Ryan]

Explain.

[Joe Foley]

I was walking up the street, his

[Luke]

ears are still ringing.

[Joe Foley]

It's filled with poppy seeds. I was gonna order Star, but I was gonna get bites.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yep.

[Joe Foley]

And I decided not to do that because I don't like them that much. They're just like, yeah, yeah. They come cold and whatever. I don't want none of that. So I go, I'm going to grab A bagel at our local deli.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, fair enough.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, right, fine. Nothing's crazy about that. No, just a guy getting a bagel. And then I found like a real bagel joint. Big, nice John known for bats all the dough. Bagels, bagels, bagels.

[Kevin Ryan]

Big New York talking about bagels, bagels, fluffy bags. Okay.

[Joe Foley]

I go in there and I really want. You know how like sometimes you want two bagels? You don't want two bagels. I would like a bagel and like a hash, like a kicker. You like a kicker?

[Kevin Ryan]

I love a kicker.

[Joe Foley]

He's on my side. All I have to do is draw this out. You had me, we could go get bagels, right?

[Kevin Ryan]

You had me with two bagels.

[Joe Foley]

So.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, because you just tell yourself, I'm gonna have half of this one, half of that one.

[Joe Foley]

I didn't do that.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's not because you want two bagels. You want variety when you want a schmear. So you might go in and you might say, hey, let me get a. I don't know, let me get a sesame with sun dried tomato cream cheese on this one. And then let me get a lox with the whatever on this one. Then you're just gonna. A little bit.

[Joe Foley]

No, that's not how I.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's how I think that those are the lies I tell myself.

[Joe Foley]

There's no.

[Kevin Ryan]

Then I eat the whole thing.

[Joe Foley]

There's no lie here. This is pure volume of food. And I want, I want to be airtight. I want to be. I want to be plugged up. Okay, I'm going to be full. I want to sit there and go, that was too much. I shouldn't. That's what I want out of this.

[Kevin Ryan]

Gotcha.

[Joe Foley]

That's all. That's so you want. That's how I feel.

[Kevin Ryan]

You wanted two bagels.

[Joe Foley]

I thought I was going to do what? They're big. I thought I was going to do one and a half. So I did a bacon, egg and cheese.

[Kevin Ryan]

One and a half. They don't sell a half a bagel.

[Joe Foley]

No, I was going to get two, but I thought I was really only going to do the half genuinely.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Joe Foley]

I knew I was probably going to do two, but I thought a half would get me there.

[Kevin Ryan]

See what he's doing? He's lying to himself. Not at all.

[Joe Foley]

Good. Not at all. That was a pure honesty.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right.

[Joe Foley]

And also I was like, ah, you know, but then the guy behind me was talking to his boy and he's like, I think I'm going to get two. And I said, yeah, yeah, me too.

[Kevin Ryan]

Turn around. Yeah, me too.

[Joe Foley]

That's a good idea. He was jacked too. So I figured you got, you know, I got to bulk up. I got a fucking karma look.

[Kevin Ryan]

So what'd you get?

[Joe Foley]

I got a bacon, egg, and cheese on a sesame, right? And that sesame toasted. No, I don't do the toast.

[Kevin Ryan]

Good.

[Joe Foley]

And then is it buttered? No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, good.

[Joe Foley]

And then. Everything with cream cheese. Also not toast. I don't like the toast. Wow.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's two bagels. That's not two bagels. That's a breakfast sandwich on a bagel and another bagel.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, checks out. It's also two bagels. It's not. Not two bagels.

[Kevin Ryan]

The bacon, egg, and cheese is not a bagel.

[Joe Foley]

So then I get in here thinking I'm. I'm a half hour early.

[Kevin Ryan]

Gotta watch this little rat comes in.

[Joe Foley]

Not him.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who?

[Joe Foley]

The shark.

[Kevin Ryan]

The shark.

[Joe Foley]

Cuz nobody told him. We went from 11 to 11:30. Ooh. So I get in here and I did. I turned the corner and the lights onto the front door. I said, fuck it. I thought it was your fat ass too. I said, how am I gonna lie to him about that? I got to eat one in the bathroom. I couldn't bust out two bagels in front of you. I'd never hear the end of it.

[Kevin Ryan]

You probably would. Do you want a bagel? Okay, good.

[Joe Foley]

I wouldn't have.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, I'm not gonna judge.

[Joe Foley]

I would have gave you half of the. Of the cream cheese because I wanted one and a half.

[Kevin Ryan]

I wouldn't have took it. I'm not eating bagels these days. I'm down working out.

[Luke]

What, are we lying?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I am. First of all, I am down.

[Joe Foley]

No, no, no, no, no, no. You always do that. No one's saying you're not down. You. You say a bunch of shit and then go, I'm down. And really rely on the down, which everybody says, you are down. Your honor, apparently this fat ass next to me had two bagels.

[Kevin Ryan]

I am. I am eating bagels these days. I would have probably had half of that bagel.

[Joe Foley]

Thank you. Yeah. But then I fucking sharks here. And I know he's not good. I know mum's the word with him, but he's in the bathroom when I get here, so I try to really get one down quick. Jesus. And it was hot, too. It was the. It was. I. Yeah. So that was that egg in the

[Kevin Ryan]

middle of a bacon, egg and cheese gets hot.

[Joe Foley]

Steaming hot. So that wasn't real enjoyable. The first half of that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, sometimes that's the way it is.

[Joe Foley]

I know. And then I. I knew he wasn't going to say. I just opened up the other one. And he's the new little guy on the totem pole. He can't come at the.

[Kevin Ryan]

He probably didn't even notice.

[Joe Foley]

He noticed.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you say?

[Joe Foley]

Nah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Two bagels, huh?

[Joe Foley]

Boss really bulking up. Yeah. So anyway, whatever. I don't. And then Luke comes in and I tell Luke, and then he fucking. He throws that back. Just fucking wait. You fucking rat.

[Kevin Ryan]

Real nice, you rat. Good job, Luke.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, I know how it feels to be Foley.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, don't you? Getting Fucking dimed out for every fucking nickel bag you do. Bunch of bullshit.

[Joe Foley]

Hey. Oh, listen, my eating habits are neither here nor there. We have a gosh darn family episode

[Kevin Ryan]

on our work to do here.

[Joe Foley]

And as you know, we join the old patroni. I'll answer your garbage question on the air.

[Kevin Ryan]

Please buy two bagels, Ryan.

[Joe Foley]

Two br.

[Kevin Ryan]

You still haven't had your lunch yet?

[Joe Foley]

I did take the stairs today.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I was so pissed about that yesterday.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah. So I worked off those. I worked off those 4,000 calories. Looks like that is an insane way to start your day. Yeah, but like, you don't know the world we live in. You just don't know that easily.

[Kevin Ryan]

What? 1200 calories in bagel.

[Joe Foley]

It's over. That's over. Oh, a per bagel.

[Kevin Ryan]

No saying, oh, no.

[Joe Foley]

I'm over two. 2k.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wow.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Good for you.

[Joe Foley]

Thanks, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hitting two k's. I don't feel like half of that stuff isn't even true.

[Joe Foley]

No, it's true.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hit it.

[Joe Foley]

It's true. All right, let's see here.

[Luke]

You're kind of killing it for the day. You already ate all your calories for the day.

[Joe Foley]

I did. I'm an over.

[Kevin Ryan]

You go to sleep, hit the rack.

[Joe Foley]

You shut. Shut the machine down, process all this refined sugar. Let's see, this one is from your mother. 10$. Never had one Red just flew black. Just flew back from Florida. And I brought back 30 plastic bags from our groceries. You can't get the bags in Philly anymore because of the bag ban.

[Kevin Ryan]

Whoa.

[Joe Foley]

The plastic. The plastic bag issue in the Philadelphia area is not great because they. They've banned them.

[Kevin Ryan]

Am I nuts? So I feel like I get maybe

[Joe Foley]

the burbs, they haven't. But Philly, Maybe inside Philly limits, they have. I mean, they did it in New York. You do. Maybe there's still a decent amount of bodegas that'll Give you a plastic bag. No one else.

[Kevin Ryan]

I always get plastic bags when I order something.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, order food is different.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. What do you mean?

[Joe Foley]

Like from like the deli? Like nobody's giving you plastic bags.

[Kevin Ryan]

The deli does.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah. Bodegas will.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Joe Foley]

Grocery mart, grocery stores are not no grocery stores. Most of the single use plant. I mean, we've gone over this. I don't know what I'm explaining to you. You have to buy that 25 cent or the 50 cent.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right.

[Joe Foley]

Canvas bag. A lot of people use those plastic bags for waterproof type stuff that this is. What? You can't put wet stuff in them canvas bags.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[Joe Foley]

Because it fucking leaks. Recyclables, trash. It ain't. That doesn't hold. So he's importing his from Florida.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's pretty good.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Pretty trashy.

[Joe Foley]

I do get it though.

[Kevin Ryan]

Because what's he going to use them for though?

[Joe Foley]

I don't know. I mean, what's anybody use them for?

[Kevin Ryan]

Pick up the dog shit.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah. You can't pick up the dog shit with them fucking with them canvas as bags, anything, you ruin your tote. Yeah, Recyclables are horrible in those plastic bags.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Joe Foley]

Because you think you're like, oh. And then a little bit. The next thing you know it's dripping all over your fucking tootsies.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what I did the other day? I had a paper bag with a handle and I had thrown some trash in there. And I think I had thrown in there a what?

[Joe Foley]

Yeah. What'd you put in there?

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm fucking telling you.

[Joe Foley]

I know. Then why'd you stop?

[Kevin Ryan]

What's with the shit eating grin?

[Joe Foley]

I think it's gonna be funny whatever it is.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it's not. What were you thinking?

[Joe Foley]

I don't know, man. What was it? What's wrong with you? You explain bags to you, then you stop mid story.

[Kevin Ryan]

I had it on the counter and I thrown a bunch of stuff in there. And one of the things I threw in there was. Was a spindrift can that had maybe like a little bit in there.

[Joe Foley]

Too much.

[Kevin Ryan]

Too much. I ended up leaving it there overnight and I went to take to throw it out in the main trash can, grabbed it and just.

[Joe Foley]

I gotta be honest, that's probably a lot. A lot left in there. That was. That was a quarter. You had an inch in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Old fries just hitting the ground. Sucked coffee grinds, all kinds of. It was gross.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah. My mom says I remember digging condoms, dude. Every time I had to go into the trash for like, looking for. There was. It was always wet and there was always coffee grounds in there. And you're just like, what, are you running a diner, lady? What the fuck? You're a single mom. How much fucking coffee you need?

[Kevin Ryan]

You come across a fucking busted over an eggshell.

[Joe Foley]

Brutal. It was every tuner can. Yeah, I hated the tuna cans. We were like a goddamn fish processing plant in the 90s, dude. The amount of tuna she would be doing is crazy. Take out the recyclable, catch a hanger, lady

[Kevin Ryan]

green flies.

[Joe Foley]

Oh, I hated it, dude. Hated it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I love it.

[Joe Foley]

All right, let's see. This one's from Jesse. Ever tuck your ears in your hat? That is a top tier dirt bag wigger move. Dude, that's crazy. I had a couple of boys did that growing up. You show up and they just got their ears tucked in like a fucking Dallas Mavericks fitted or something. What the fuck, dude? Yeah, that was. That was. That was a. That was a real white kid who wanted to be tough. Look, that was. That. The flat brim, the ear. I never understood it. How you buying a hat that big? Or did they have a small. I don't know. I don't.

[Kevin Ryan]

You look like an idiot. An absolute idiot.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, it's tough. Never did that. But if you were, I mean, you're for sure a dirt bag if you ever did that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that's awesome.

[Joe Foley]

Talked in it. Dude, the ears. That's a kid who's. I says, like, you know, fucking time is money and only God can judge me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yells at his mom.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, he's got. He. Yeah, that's a single parent.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, thanks, Kathy. But you shut the fuck up. Crazy.

[Joe Foley]

And he's got. He's got curses.

[Luke]

That's my aunt's name and my cousin used to do that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really?

[Luke]

She was a single mom. Yeah, and he was just a. With like the Boston hat. Tucking up the ears.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is that the kid that was your dj?

[Luke]

No, that's my other cousin.

[Kevin Ryan]

What was his name?

[Luke]

Emmett.

[Kevin Ryan]

No. Huh.

[Luke]

E folder E Folger. Check out the Patreon if you want to see the rap.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, Luke wrapped and we. We got our hands on it. Shout out to Louis V. You stink,

[Kevin Ryan]

by the way. Speaking of which, Los Angeles. Make sure you get tickets to come see us. Netflix is a joke festival. May 7. Netflix is Joe look. Good for these people. A lot of suits out there and shit. Come out and hang with the boys.

[Joe Foley]

Louis V. Opening up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Louis V. Opening up. Psych.

[Joe Foley]

How much would we have to give you to go out there and rap backup Tracking. You just got to kind of do like, you know, can you be in

[Kevin Ryan]

the green room puking?

[Joe Foley]

Cassidy, it's all up. He's all high. Hey, man, Cassidy's waking up. This is a big you. You both got. You both got your ears tucked into your hat. You stink.

[Luke]

Get me an ounce of weed. I'm up, baby.

[Joe Foley]

Okay, okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dry mouth out there.

[Joe Foley]

I did. I saw a great clip of this dude. He's going, you ever ask. You ever ask your. Your drug dealer for how much something is that you know you're not gonna buy? And he's like, yeah, how much is the QP? Guy's like, 600. He goes, 600. All right, I'll take a gram. She talking about 600 on. The repeat. Oh, 600. Okay, I'll do the gram. I was dying. I was dying, dude. Hey, gang. Let's talk about Chime Chime. Chime. Chime is changing the way people bank. It's fee free and smarter banking built for you. I'm talking to you out there. Not like the old school banks that charge you overdraft and monthly fees. It's built for you, not the 1%. Chime isn't just another banking app. They unlock smarter banking for everyday people with products like MyPay that gives you access to up to $500 of your paycheck anytime and getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Some old banks still don't do that, which is bonkos, because they don't care about you. They're just in it for the money. They stink. They not Chime. Chime turns everyday spending into real rewards and progress. Chime makes your everyday spending work harder by delivering real rewards and financial progress that you can count on. They got benefits like we've said though. Bank fee. Bank fee free. Plus overdraft coverage you can count on. Helps you build your credit history stress free. Get paid when you say up to 500 bucks. Earn up to 3% APY on financing rate of 5 stars by USA Today Customer Service. Real humans, baby. Chime is not just smarter banking. It is the most rewarding way to bank. Join the millions who are already banking fee free today. It just takes a few minutes to sign up. Head to chime.comgarbage that's chime.com garbage. Do it.

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[Kevin Ryan]

KB let's talk about 1-800-flowers 1-800-flowers. Did you know? The flowers are the number one gift to give for Mother's Day. But it can be hard to know which ones will show mom how much you really mean to you. For over 50 years, 1-800-Flowers has been helping people send beautiful bouquets to mom that she's gonna love. That's gonna express your gratitude to her for everything that she does.

[Joe Foley]

And your mother deserves that, Henry, for putting up with your stupid ass for so long.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes, she does, the dumb broad.

[Joe Foley]

And right now, when you order one dozen roses from 1-800-flowers, they'll double your bouquet for two dozen for free. That's twice the flowers for mom who gave you everything. For more than 50 years, 100 Flowers has perfected the details that matter the most. Every bouquet is picked at peak freshness, packaged carefully and backed by the freshness guarantee. 1-800-Flowers knows that many of us procrastinate. And they'll even be saving up their customers with same day delivery service for years. Even if May 9th snuck up on you, they can still make May 10th count.

[Kevin Ryan]

Baby, there you go.

[Joe Foley]

I've used 1, 800 flowers for a couple of a couple of times past years. It's like a set it and forget it. You call them up, they do it and then. Then your mom calls you. Oh my God. You're the best son in the world. I'm leaving you everything. How you done? Mother's Day is Sunday, May 10, and bouquets are selling off fast. Trust me. Don't wait to claim your double roses offer before they're gone. Visit 1-800-flowers-comm/garbage. That's 1-800-flowers—garbage, 1-800flowers.com garbage do it. All right. This is from. It's a cardigan. Thanks for noticing. Are you garbage? If you drive with your hood up on your sweatshirt, that's a real. Another dirt bag. When hoodies. Hoodies hit differently in when I was. I don't know. You might be able to shed some light on this. Were they cool for you like in junior high, in high school? No, it couldn't have been maybe the end of high school or they got cool for us in like seventh, eighth grade. So like

[Kevin Ryan]

2000. When you say hoodies, you mean zip up hoodies, right?

[Joe Foley]

Even like hoodies. Oh, yes. It was all crewneck before that. And I'm not too sure if that was my. What I could get my hand. But like, it seemed like hoodies became brands. Started doing hoodies

[Kevin Ryan]

now. The. The hooded sweatshirt was always kind

[Joe Foley]

of like. The Russell type was

[Kevin Ryan]

always kind of cool. You know what I mean? Especially the lifeguard hoodie. The red lifeguard hooky. Hot chicks would wear

[Joe Foley]

that. You're obsessed with that. Yeah, I.

[Kevin Ryan]

Beautiful girl. Is that what I say? Is that how I sound? A beautiful girl? Oversized hoodies were always kind of a thing, but. Yeah,

[Joe Foley]

but I guess what I'm

[Kevin Ryan]

saying. Not the way

[Joe Foley]

that you think. Yeah, like every. Like, I get that hoodies existed, but I'm just saying, like, at some point every. I was. We skated at that age. So, like, every skateboarding company came out with hoodies. It wasn't just like, oh, here's a blue Russell athletic hoodie. You train in or like, sweatsuit. It was like. It became a style. It felt the college crew

[Kevin Ryan]

neck was. Was. Was more in style. And you look back on it, you're like, you look like a dork. Oh, I had an Old Dominion college crew neck, sure. Yeah. And it was like, cool back then. I look back on it now, it looks like I was going to fucking night school there. I remember my dad brought home from a business trip. It was a west. A West Virginia hoodie or West Virginia crew neck. It was sweet. And Old Dominion,

[Joe Foley]

that was back in the day. You would just get caught like random college ass shit. Yeah. And I'm like, who

[Kevin Ryan]

the fuck is Old Dominion? Division one

[Joe Foley]

school. Yeah, that's. It's very funny. Yeah. I mean, but when hoodies hit, man, I remember driving with my. Driving with my hood up, and my teacher saw me pulling into school. My heavy loom, 1996. Ate that. And he's like, were you driving with. It was a math teacher. Were you driving with your hood on today? Yeah. What's up? I was like, yeah. And he's like, yeah, that seems dangerous.

[Kevin Ryan]

Slaps the

[Joe Foley]

shit out of you. I'm sorry, man. Yeah, that same teacher called

[Kevin Ryan]

you must have sucked the fat Kevin. Ryan.

[Joe Foley]

A little

[Kevin Ryan]

sleepy coming

[Joe Foley]

in. Yeah. Little

[Kevin Ryan]

sleep boogers in your eyes. Nile. Showered

[Joe Foley]

in the morning. Did you? Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Come on, dude. No, I was. Listen, Streaks. Ryan. Really?

[Joe Foley]

Now? I always showered in the. I. Dude, I. Listen, you've Seen me, I'm a. I'm a tough sleeper. I wake up, I'm not in a wrestling match. No, I'm not. It's not. I could never get you halfway there. I. I looked like shit to begin with then doing that. It looks like my dad fucking slapped

[Kevin Ryan]

me around. You ever see the kid that rolled into school not and didn't shower? The morning is like, hair be sticking

[Joe Foley]

up a little bit. Dude, that's my biggest pet peeve is seeing someone out on, like, a Sunday. Listen, if you're running like, I'm running to the. Around the corner, but you're, like, kind of

[Kevin Ryan]

out. I'm like this. Oh, I do that. I know what you're gonna say. Yeah,

[Joe Foley]

no, but with the real greasy hair, where I'm like, you haven't showered all weekend type thing. You know what I mean? You can tell. That's cool. Just gonna get two bagels. I know, but you can get. You can. Listen, you can. You shouldn't be going out in the shit you slept in either. Put on a flit. You don't want to shower, that's fine. Fuck that. On the weekends, all bets are off. No, you're running

[Kevin Ryan]

out to get a bacon, egg and cheese or whatever. All bets are off. You do you. You're running a Wawa. Go on your fucking pajamas. No, the world is your living room.

[Joe Foley]

No, it's not, man. And that's the fucking problem.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's not. What are you wearing a fucking business suit

[Joe Foley]

walking around? No, but put on a fuck. Don't. Dude, I don't need your T shirt with, like, a fucking cum stain down by the bottom and, like, your neck all stretched out and your fucking dandruffs

[Kevin Ryan]

on you. I'm sorry. The guy wanted to come on my T shirt.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, no, it's like, I don't need to be that close to your bed sheets. There's no re. A little bit of Respect. Respect. Wawa. Respect. 7. What

[Kevin Ryan]

if it's a girl and she has an oversized hoodie on? Lifeguard. A beautiful

[Joe Foley]

girl. I'm sorry if you're putting on,

[Luke]

like, the hat, the hoodie, it's fine to me. You're making it.

[Joe Foley]

You have to make an effort to be like. I didn't just put on slippers. No,

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not saying that. You just said

[Joe Foley]

that. You just

[Kevin Ryan]

said. I'm assuming that, you know, there's a little over.

[Joe Foley]

I've also been with you in hotels or, like, you zhuzh up a little

[Kevin Ryan]

bit. That's

[Joe Foley]

all I'm saying. Juice up. You can't be fucking proper in the clothes you slept in. You can't do. That's my. That's just my. That's. That's one of Kevin Ryan's keys

[Kevin Ryan]

to success. Take that to the bank.

[Joe Foley]

So I always did as a kid. I never. I was a bad. I was a bad sleeper.

[Luke]

Did you guys ever get into the hoodies that zip all the

[Joe Foley]

way up? No, that was a little after my. Fuck. That was. That was like bathing apes kind of. Yeah, yeah. I was thinking one. Yeah. Yes. That and the. The hoodies that had the thumb hole that. The thumb sleeves on them. That shit hit. That

[Kevin Ryan]

was big. We used to do that naturally as a kid. Like you'd get a stretched out hoodie and you'd stick your thumbs

[Joe Foley]

in it. Yeah. But then there. So there

[Kevin Ryan]

was the holes. That was grunge stuff.

[Joe Foley]

There was holes and then there was the this. There was the holes. But then there was the ones that had like a sleeve for the thumb. Not just a hole. I can't even find them. Maybe it was only a couple of brands did it. Let me see it. I can't. I'm looking. I can't find it. Thumb sleeve hoodie. It was actually like a piece of cloth that like you. Your

[Kevin Ryan]

thumb. Oh, it look. It was like a little. Instead of just a hole at a little.

[Joe Foley]

It was like a. Yeah, like

[Kevin Ryan]

a little condom. Yeah. That's pretty sick, huh?

[Joe Foley]

I mean. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. There were. The hoodies at that point were like very. Yeah. Started

[Kevin Ryan]

to jump to shark. Maybe

[Luke]

eye holes in the zip up hoodies so you could

[Joe Foley]

like see. Yeah, that was. That was way past. That was fucking. Fuck around, get your ass beat. You showed up. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Your fucking dork class.

[Luke]

Driving around like that.

[Joe Foley]

Fucking highest shit. Bunch

[Kevin Ryan]

of kids with peanut allergies. Dork stinks. He's fucking 20 years younger than you. Whatever.

[Joe Foley]

It's also. He's doing much better than I am.

[Kevin Ryan]

But that's either here nor there. I can still make fun of him being a dork when he was in high school. Sure. Thank you. Nerd. What was the most expensive piece of clothing you got as a kid from your parents? Were you walking around like a $200 hoodie?

[Luke]

Yeah, like those would come around like once a year. What? I mean, Nothing was like $200. It was more like. I mean, once I got the high school vineyard, Vines was big, so that was expensive. That's

[Kevin Ryan]

crazy. That's. That's a fat guy brand to me. No, that

[Luke]

was to me. That's so funny. 12, 2014. The

[Joe Foley]

one kid. Yeah, I guess even before he was with what kid was wearing in college. And dude, I remember showing up in like a fucking A. Williamson, not William Sonoma. A chef's jacket. No, what was it? Sonoma was Sonoma. See if you can find Sonoma. I think it was whatever they sold at Cold Sonoma. That was Walmart. It was. I. I meant. Yeah, I

[Kevin Ryan]

know exactly what you're talking about. It was. Dude,

[Joe Foley]

I remember showing up at a button up sweating my ass off in the song. I didn't know we were going to like a bar. Like we were going out and our boy, he showed up in like fucking. He was Connecticut kid, rich kid. He went to Drexel Paul. He lived with like Pat and them. And dude, he had like the vineyard vines tucked into like a pair of like blue khakis with like pink fish on them. Or somehow you fucking know. I'm sitting there, dude, sweating through this long sleeve button. It's like fucking. It's July 4th weekend. Wool pants on pair of slacks. Charcoal wool pants. I remember being like, ah, man, I. In my head I thought I was doing that. You know what I mean? Like, I really thought I was. I thought I was like hitting the country. I didn't. I. I'm just learned. Not even really, but that's how off my settings

[Kevin Ryan]

were. Wait, that's what you kids were. That's what kids were wearing as fashion. Those like rich. Those like salmon colored pants?

[Luke]

Yeah, it was like the lax thing was big in my town, so. And that's like all lacrosse players were like. It was viney vines Nike elite socks. You were midcast with sperries. It's

[Kevin Ryan]

a tough look. Jesus. Like a preppy. Like a real preppy rich kid look. Yeah. Damn, you guys. I knew

[Joe Foley]

one kid that went to. I knew one kid that went to Neshaminy and he wore. We heard stories of them. The one kid wore a collared shirt and we were in like 8th grade. I meant somebody went, yeah, he's wearing a suit. And I didn't know. I thought a collared shirt was a suit. I didn't know that the difference like. Oh yeah. Why did the

[Kevin Ryan]

kid wear a collared

[Joe Foley]

shirt? He was just like preppy. Oh, but to me that was like that. I thought it was like he was getting married. Like I was like. Thought he was Doogie. Yeah. You're like. They're like. You see the guys in a chamney, they wear. They wear suits.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was really Shamini's in lower class school district though. Is it? Sure. Huh. Let's say about you pretty

[Joe Foley]

trashy. Me and my William Sonoma jumpsuit. Yeah. I don't know, man. I don't. I don't come to chef's coats. Great. Any. Anybody in my family. I mean, my dad wore the same. My dad and my stepdad were the same jeans in the same tops. Not like whatever it was either. The. If it was. It was a blue Russell long sleeve crew neck like sweatshirt that my dad like, he had like 10 of them or whatever they wore every day. My stepdad wore the same flannels every. It was like, that's all. There's no fashion. There was no. You know, nobody was. My dad would go to a golf. Dude. When Tony Soprano hit, my dad started dressing like. That was when.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was big.

[Joe Foley]

I told you. He sent me to a wedding at like 11, right? With the, like, with the turtleneck and the suit. Like, no shirt and tie. It was like an envelope tucked

[Kevin Ryan]

in your pocket.

[Joe Foley]

And I. Dude, I was like, yeah, cool. I didn't know. I didn't know where he got the inside.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're in a tucked in shirt. Right,

[Joe Foley]

fatty? That was probably tucked

[Kevin Ryan]

in. I know, but you know, but that's a. That's cotton. Sure. Going in there.

[Joe Foley]

I remember my brother's boy was like, why are you dressed like Tony Soprano? And I was like, ah. I was like 11. I didn't know what the was. Yeah, that's funny. It's. It's also like the newer kids, they. The fashion is like a thick, like he's like, oh. In the whatever. Socks. There was never any branded socks anybody

[Kevin Ryan]

knew about. Now we were just trying to

[Joe Foley]

get ankle socks. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Trying to get ankle socks.

[Joe Foley]

Things changed a lot, obviously in that. In that time. Things

[Kevin Ryan]

used to be cool. Then you came

[Joe Foley]

along.

[Kevin Ryan]

Everything I branded. You're supreme. And you're Benny Blanco. Whatever you were doing. You're Mark Ronson. Maybe listening to Amy Winehouse. Good time. Don't get me started. Better.

[Luke]

Beautiful girl. Did you guys ever get college gear at a young age. And then like your parents

[Joe Foley]

were like, you're gonna have

[Luke]

to study really hard though, to get into this

[Kevin Ryan]

school. No, that was. The college gear was huge when I was a kid. Okay. When I was in like 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th grade. Those kind of hats are like Gillis wears sometimes are like.

[Joe Foley]

They're back in style. It just says like not really a logo, but it'll say the name of the thing. Like whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

Universal. There was a circle and they have a little. These little lines that went out. I can't remember what. Game hats, I think they were. Game hats was the name of the company. Real

[Joe Foley]

simple,

[Kevin Ryan]

kind of. Yeah, they were huge. Anything college was huge. Anything NBA was huge. Starter jackets, all that kind

[Joe Foley]

of stuff. Yeah, that

[Kevin Ryan]

kind of stuff. No, not the one in the middle. I'm sorry. The Michigan retro circle. Yeah, those were huge. Huge. And you would wear them. You would fucking bend the shit out of the beak and pull it down. And the weathered it got. The better. The better it was. If it was like ripped and all that kind of stuff, it was cooler. Anything weathered was. Was big. But then that

[Joe Foley]

happened. But then it were like. That became not cool to us. Like if any. Like, I mean, it was like sneakers. If your sneakers were worn, you were washed, it'd be like all that. Like you people would like waddle in their air forces or Jordans, not decrease them. Like it became. Everything had to be. It was very rap inspired. Sure. The Jerry, I mean NF and any professional jersey to us was like, you can get your hands. We'd swap them, we'd fucking trade them. We. You know. That was the most expensive. I think I was an Eric Molds jersey. Eric Molds? Who's that? He's like a fucking linebacker on the Buffalo Bills. I wanted. I wanted. Or lost it in a dice game. Eric Molds. I think that's his name, right? I think I want it from Pat. Jerry

[Kevin Ryan]

Stranskowski.

[Joe Foley]

Eric Molds of American. Former football player. I don't even know when he played. 12 seasons.

[Kevin Ryan]

Would you try to sound cool? Big.

[Joe Foley]

I got my Mold jersey on for sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

For sure. What's his name? Who did people

[Joe Foley]

know? I think I got it from Pat in like a. In a. Some sort of gambling debt. He paid me in an Eric Molds jersey. Yeah,

[Kevin Ryan]

he got over

[Joe Foley]

on you on that one and. Nah,

[Kevin Ryan]

dude, that was not even

[Joe Foley]

a real player. It was authentic. The real stitching. It was like real tight around the arms because it's like. Because he's a running

[Kevin Ryan]

back and you were a fat piece

[Joe Foley]

of shit. He was a wide receiver. Oh, man. Six, two, two, ten. I was five, four, 380. And then I remember losing it to my. Like an

[Kevin Ryan]

asshole walking around in

[Joe Foley]

81. I think it was 89. That was 84. Oh,

[Kevin Ryan]

God, that's great. I was gonna say 89. You get away with it if you

[Joe Foley]

think you're a tight end or something. 84,

[Kevin Ryan]

that's awesome.

[Joe Foley]

And I lost in a game of ceelo to my boy Jeff. I remember being like, that was the most expensive thing I owned gone. I just being like, I had it for like two weeks, for like a week or whatever. And live by the gun, die

[Kevin Ryan]

by the gun. See you molds walking

[Joe Foley]

on with no shirt on and just

[Kevin Ryan]

these lines on your. I'm

[Joe Foley]

driving own topless.

[Kevin Ryan]

Lost my shirt in a poker game. You leave that, sir.

[Joe Foley]

So it's not topless for me. It was

[Kevin Ryan]

titties hanging out. Still

[Joe Foley]

got the helmet on. Jolly gee willikers. All right, let's see here. This one's on Foley's Marshall Arts Gym. Okay. Ten dollar soul, sister lady. Is it garbage to get in trouble in second grade for using a carpenter's pencil? Oh, those square jump. They got real mad when I used a pocket knife to sharpen it. That'll jam me up. Trouble

[Kevin Ryan]

is a little fucked up to get

[Joe Foley]

in trouble. You can't bring a knife

[Kevin Ryan]

to school. A knife I get. But using the carpenter's pencil, you should be able to use

[Joe Foley]

that. Sure. I mean, I also think

[Kevin Ryan]

it's just like maybe not in those formative years. Yeah. Also

[Joe Foley]

like, I don't think, you know, I don't know if it works on a Scantron or whatever. It's a big thick

[Kevin Ryan]

piece of. I've gotten them down to. Excuse me. I've gotten them down to being able to write.

[Joe Foley]

I get you. I. I believe. I mean, for sure. She's also. Also 8 years old or whatever. Maybe it's not as. You know. Yeah. Fine. Point is that I get it. I do get. If you break that out for a test or a handwriting thing and the teacher's like, no, let's get you a normal fucking pencil. I had

[Kevin Ryan]

to use that grip because my handwriting was bad. Use that dumb kid's grip. Like having like the sleeve for bowling. I can using that. Brutal. Yeah. I got popped with that shit every couple of years. They'd realize I'm. They would. They would. They would. They would pop me, realize I'm dumb, do something about it for like two weeks, and then it would just stop. I just go back to my regular desk. There was like a lot of times putting

[Joe Foley]

at different desks. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'd be like, were you ever in

[Joe Foley]

a class, like five, six people?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. In eye hall for English. I can't remember the name of the teacher. But she. She liked that. She like to have a cocktail. Poor lady. Yeah, she was down there up teaching us

[Joe Foley]

60s, man. Wild time.

[Kevin Ryan]

But this is earlier. This isn't like from like fourth grade to like Eighth grade. I would just get popped every once in a while with like, something would come around or like something like, you know, some ADD thing or, you know, learning disability thing or some test or something like that, or. I'd be the fucking poster kid.

[Joe Foley]

Sure. I remember they tested me and my brother. I don't know, I remember. Had to go to the place next to McDonald's. I said, what the fuck? It was old house on second Street Pike. It was yellow. I go, this fucking. This ain't good. This ain't

[Kevin Ryan]

good. This ain't a promotion.

[Joe Foley]

Walking up, you know, you could just tell a place sucks with the walking up the stairs, you knew you

[Kevin Ryan]

were in trouble or you knew you were going to something unfun. If it was during the middle of the week at like 7 o'. Clock. Don't forget after dinner we have to go to doctor. Go to whatever you're like, wait, what's that? Check for scoliosis or

[Joe Foley]

something. Gotta make sure you don't have flat feet. You got the

[Kevin Ryan]

meter on you?

[Joe Foley]

There is so much of that shit where you just had to go to some random fucking never in like a professional build. Like, you think I want to use the mall or nothing? He got me going his wacky ass thing like next to an orthodontist or something.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, what was the place though? Building? I don't

[Joe Foley]

know. I. I don't know what. It might have been a psychiatrist or a psychologist, like a. It might have been something to do. But that was also when the divorce hit and they were trying to. Trying to plug the hole in the boat. They were

[Kevin Ryan]

really. Hey, welcome to Dum, dummy. I

[Joe Foley]

told you I used to have to go to a tutor. I had to go to a math tutor for the sats or something. I forget what the it was for. This was huge. She was so big.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's like chicken while you did it or something. You did it. She. You told me this.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, she would order Chinese food. Her huge ass. She was like pretty much immobile. And her huge ass husband would come in and he would be missing belt loops left and right on his pants.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wait a minute. Was this at

[Joe Foley]

her house? No, it was in a. It was above a pizza place, ironically enough. That too. Yeah, but not like he was like, you fat. He would.

[Kevin Ryan]

He would bring it. I respect it. Yeah, he would bring her Chinese food. Oh yeah. She

[Joe Foley]

would order. I'd get there at like 5:15 or what? You know, I'd get there five, whatever, you know. And it was also just so try. My mom would drop Me off and like, my stepmom would pick me. Like we were. It was like. There was like. The custody switch was at this. You know, somebody would drop me off and then the other party would pick me up. Brutal. Meanwhile, she's up there fucking eating egg rolls and like, wonton. Why?

[Kevin Ryan]

You're what? She's teaching you? I'm

[Joe Foley]

a piece of. I had to tell you this. A piece of fucking egg roll flew out of her mouth and landed all my homework. I was like. And she just, like. I remember she just hit me with her pinky. Like, get that out of the way. Thanks for the soy sauce. My teacher's gonna love this. How can you be doing that?

[Kevin Ryan]

Eating Chinese food while you're tutoring a kid? Even I know that's rule. Uh huh. Well, Danny

[Joe Foley]

went there, I went there, and then I went back there. I went there a couple of times.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did your mom know that she was huge?

[Joe Foley]

Yeah. I mean. Yeah. That was also the same time I realized what post dating the check was Denise. I remember then he said, don't cash it till next week. I gotta. Yeah, I gotta move Song. I said, this lady's gonna be at the Han Dynasty with this nuts lady. Every check, cash in place. Trying to get fortune cookies with this thing. Oh, man. But, yeah, I had to go to a lot of those. I got a cold sitting in. I could feel when the. When the dinner. Dinner. When the divorce, there was like a lot of whatever, behavioral therapists and stuff like that. And also Danny was nuts. So they would be like, he's something. So he would start acting up. They'd be like, well, let's. Kurt. You know, it's just seems to be.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's gonna be an underlying fat one just looking at me.

[Joe Foley]

He just

[Kevin Ryan]

sit down like this.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, but there was this yellow. Yellow or pink building right next to the McDonald's. It was an old, like colonial house. Not like. Just like an old

[Kevin Ryan]

house. That's not you around that time, is it? Is it? Yeah, that's a divorce.

[Joe Foley]

Just told me they got divorced right before that. I still hit the pose, though. Then

[Kevin Ryan]

they gave you a Frankenstein haircut and took you to get your picture taken. Oh, shit. Right there. They told you before that?

[Joe Foley]

I was three, I think. Yeah. So it was after that. Wow. I had already lived like half my life without these fucking guys. I was an old

[Kevin Ryan]

vet at that traumatized kid there. You were going to work after that picture.

[Joe Foley]

Take the picture. I'm gonna

[Kevin Ryan]

be at Lumberjacks in an hour. All right.

[Joe Foley]

This one's from Aaron, is it garbage to threaten to send an invoice for your time? I had a coworker beef with Raymore and Flanagan, and he said, so where do I send the invoice for my time to? That's a big diesel thing. Yeah, they got me calling now I'm sending them back. Then the multiple emails. Who's going to reimburse me? I've never. Never really done that. I don't give them. I don't give into the. The fight. I don't

[Kevin Ryan]

know what an invoice is. It's good for you.

[Joe Foley]

Yeah, I don't give into the fight. I'm not gonna spend an hour, two hours talking to somebody to rectify a problem. That's. I would just go, I'd rather lose whatever the fuck I'm losing. Then sit on the phone for two hours. I don't talk to my wife on the phone. I'm not talking. I'm not sitting through customer service or anything. You know

[Kevin Ryan]

what I mean? I got you. I mean,

[Joe Foley]

when we went through the carpet thing here, remember, we're on the phone and they're like. That's

[Kevin Ryan]

what I was thinking. You just

[Joe Foley]

can't get it. I just went. You just. You go, all right, well, like, it's either what you're going to do it or you're not going to. You know,

[Kevin Ryan]

I'll do that stuff when I'm trying to do something, like, I can't go to the website and do it. I got a call and talk to somebody to do it, so I know it's done. Just because I'm stupid. Sure.

[Joe Foley]

That's so cr. I would rather do it any other way than get on the phone and talk to somebody like any other.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't believe the website they get, like, you know, if I could go

[Joe Foley]

and do

[Kevin Ryan]

something on the website, change something over, set up a payment arrangement or something like that,

[Joe Foley]

I don't trust it. Yeah, no, I'm the complete. How

[Kevin Ryan]

do I know where that's going? It's a server failed or something

[Joe Foley]

like that. So you're trusting the guy. I trust technology

[Kevin Ryan]

more than a person. I trust the guy. Earl. Good guy. Rep 3459. Yeah.

[Joe Foley]

No, but yeah, also, you never have any. You never write that down. Okay. It's your confirmation. I

[Kevin Ryan]

do, I do. It's also so hard

[Joe Foley]

to get the guy now. Yeah, now. Well, Earl, say now it is. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Because of your generation.

[Joe Foley]

All right, we gotta wrap it

[Kevin Ryan]

up, gang. We love you to death. Come out and see the boys at a live show. All right, and we will see you next week.