Are You Garbage? – "Fat Guy Mistakes w/ Big Jay Oakerson"
Release Date: February 16, 2026
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Guest: Big Jay Oakerson
Episode Overview
In this raucous, fast-paced episode, fan-favorite comedian Big Jay Oakerson returns to the "Are You Garbage?" podcast. Ryan, Foley, and Oakerson dive deep into tales of personal trashiness, fat guy faux pas, and the everyday indignities and small luxuries that shape their (and every garbage person’s) lives. From embarrassing restaurant dress codes to dubious hotel room etiquette, no slice of garbage life is left unexamined. If you’ve ever wondered which household appliance makes you “feel rich,” or what it’s like to get kicked out of a hotel for smoking, this episode delivers. Expect rapid banter, candid confessions, hysterically personal stories, and lots of talk about bidets, fast food, and illicit bathroom behavior.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. YouTube Awards and Old-School Rap Nostalgia
Timestamp: 01:10–04:40
- Jay marvels at the crew’s old-style gold YouTube plaque versus the new “shitty plastic” ones:
“All I’m mesmerized by is that you guys hit that hundred thousand thing before they changed it...” — Jay [01:13] - The hosts and Jay roleplay about showing off the award at family gatherings.
- Spirals into a nostalgic riff on 90s rap, sampling old songs, and not recognizing original tracks.
“You can’t show me one Lil Baby song where I’m like, that’s actually great. It doesn’t exist.” — Jay [03:44]
2. Fat Kid Clothes Problems & 90s Fashion
Timestamp: 04:04–04:28
- Foley reminisces about wanting a cool LL Cool J hoodie as a fat kid and being crushed when clothing never fit the same way as on TV stars.
“When I was a fat little kid, I couldn’t understand why my clothes didn’t fit the way Michael J. Fox’s closes.” — Foley [04:07] - Jay and the hosts joke about taking fashion tips from 90s music videos—"Crop tops, velvet, all that.”
3. Music Taste & Comedy Road Stories
Timestamp: 06:22–08:40
- Jay details driving to gigs with Black comics in the 90s, learning which rock bands were most “acceptable” across cultures:
“Tool, Deftones, Korn always had an effect... You’re feeling that hip hop energy.” — Jay [07:01] - Learning poor road habits, like putting $7 worth of gas in cars just to get to the next town.
- Wawa gas and free air for tires gets passionate support.
4. Fat Guy Mistake: Steakhouse Dress Code Disaster
Timestamp: 11:07–16:07
- Kevin tells a hilarious fat guy horror story: going to a fancy steakhouse wearing a black T-shirt, only to be told “All gentlemen are required to wear a collar.”
“So now I don’t know what size jacket they’re... she comes out, brings a jacket... now I’m thoroughly embarrassed. I gotta stand up and roll the dice on this thing fitting.” — Kevin [12:16] - The crew riff on the humiliation—especially for bigger guys—of squeezing into a “loaner” jacket in front of a table of cool patrons.
- Jay suggests the move is always to get the Black table on your side.
- They research the actual dress code, reading out the rules and sharing similar tales of questionable restaurant policies.
5. Bachelor Parties & “Garbage” Wedding Etiquette
Timestamp: 21:08–24:21
- Jay shares a wild bachelor party story in Vegas, where every event ended with someone asking for cash to “chip in”—even after luxurious group meals at Carbone:
“Everything we did... $250 a person... Me and Soda had to start covering people because I started seeing, you know, lower-money people going ‘oh, God, all I had was spaghetti.’” - Foley recounts a wedding where he took back his cash gift after a miserably hot outdoor ceremony and getting drunk:
“I started crying in the car on the way home. I fuckin took that 100 bucks back. Fuck him. Crazy.” — Foley [24:10]
6. Fat Guy Diets: SlimFast, Ensure, and Early Smoking
Timestamp: 28:08–29:34
- The group recalls ill-fated attempts at weight loss and strange fat kid choices.
- Jay drank his great-grandmother's Ensure ("her life's blood") as a chocolate treat.
“This is her life’s blood—I'm like, it’s so chocolatey.” — Jay [28:40] - Stories of childhood friends smoking cigarettes “to stay thin” and misconceptions about diet products.
7. “Things That Make You Feel Rich” — Trashy Luxury
Timestamp: 29:41–33:43
- New segment: what little luxuries make you feel rich, in spite of being garbage?
- Jay’s answer: “Bidets in all bathrooms! ...TV in every room.”
“I have a TV in every room... The last one I thought about...” — Jay [32:40] - The crew cracks up at how trashy it is to bring a laptop into the bathroom to watch videos while blooming on the bidet.
- Discussion about the limits of luxury—no TVs in the bathroom; but outside, Jay has rigged his hot tub to face a TV.
8. Internet Habits, Porn Preferences & The Morning Routine
Timestamp: 33:53–47:55
- Jay reveals his “bathroom information cycle”:
“Worldstar, The Nip Slip, Eagles News, Sixers News, back to The Nip Slip...” - The crew laughs at Jay’s encyclopedic knowledge of porn aggregator sites—Bing, SpankBang, LobsterTube—and his “control experiments.”
- “If ‘E-Fucked’ tells me, ‘it’s moving,’ you got a couple minutes here, you can knock it out.”
- His wife Christine’s routine involves holding an iPad as he scrolls through daily nudes and sports news.
- Jay: “I've never seen ‘Game of Thrones,’ but I've seen every pussy on it. I’ll give you that.”
9. Hot Tub Rules & Personal Cleanliness
Timestamp: 47:07–48:46
- Jay details strict hot tub rules:
“I don't want my jizz just living in there... In fact, hot tub’s off limits now.” - Foley: “Take that bidet first. But yeah, jerk off and clean your asshole before you get in.”
- The conversation veers into things that should make you feel rich: like valet parking—not so much for these guys.
10. Hotel Smoking & Getting Kicked Out
Timestamp: 49:03–54:45
- Jay confesses to being kicked out of a Hilton in Milwaukee for smoking weed in his room—at age 48.
“She treated me like a criminal... You broke the policy. And I'm like, alright. You seem way too angry about this.” — Jay [52:23] - The humiliation of trekking across a snowy highway, running into staff convinced he’s returned for revenge, and the utterly garbage attempt to mask the smell with a “toilet paper tube full of baby wipes.”
- Other stories recounted: using “heroin math” to explain fat-guy pants belts, and childhood ties to notorious smokers.
11. Indoor Smoking at Venues & Risk Tolerance
Timestamp: 57:56–60:07
- Jay and the hosts discuss the fine art of sneaking smokes or vapes in stadiums or greenrooms.
- The line between “acceptable garbage” and “menace” is fuzzy—Jay’s happy to chance a concert floor, never in seats.
- Running themes: the lingering 90s mindset, not giving a fuck, and only getting truly caught a handful of times.
12. Coda: Station Disasters & Final “Garbage” Confessions
Timestamp: 61:08–63:49
- Epic tale of a hotel fire sprinkler disaster caused by a fellow junkie guest—Jay’s room barely survives.
- Rapid-fire wrap up, laughs about showing dirty porn to the Are You Garbage audience.
- Jay plugs his “Greatest Yapper Alive” tour and the iconic, disturbing “Biggie Smalls” style poster.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “When I was a fat little kid, I couldn’t understand why my clothes didn’t fit the way Michael J. Fox’s closes.” — Foley [04:07]
- “You can’t show me one Lil Baby song where I’m like, that’s actually great. It doesn’t exist.” — Jay [03:44]
- On bidets:
“I flower, I bloom... and then with a series of blooms... sometimes it'll get the pipes going.” — Jay [31:42] - On hot tubs:
“I don't want my jizz just living in there neither. I don't want anybody fucking my hot tub. In fact, hot tub’s off limits now.” — Jay [48:11] - On steakhouse dress code:
“She brings a jacket. I gotta stand up and roll the dice on this thing fitting.” — Kevin [12:16] - On YouTube awards:
“All I’m mesmerized by is that you guys hit that hundred thousand thing before they changed it to the shitty trophy now.” — Jay [01:13] - On hotel eviction:
“She treated me like a criminal... You broke the policy. And I'm like, alright. You seem way too angry about this.” — Jay [52:23] - On getting caught smoking:
“I looked at the peep… I know she heard it go ‘shit’…” — Jay [52:32] - Worldstar/Nip Slip routine:
“I've never seen Game of Thrones, but I've seen every pussy on it. I’ll give you that.” — Jay [35:18] - Bathroom tech:
“I bring my laptop into the bathroom and put it on my knees. Or I hold it like I'm reading poetry to a loved one.” — Jay [33:23]
Essential Timestamps
- Opening banter, rap nostalgia: 01:10–04:40
- Fat kid clothes & fashion regrets: 04:04–04:28
- Dress code disaster at steakhouse: 11:07–16:07
- Bachelor party “pay to play” story: 21:08–24:21
- Fat kid mistakes & Ensure: 28:08–29:34
- Bathroom luxury segment (bidet, TV): 29:41–33:43
- Jay’s info/porn cycle: 33:53–47:55
- Getting kicked out for weed: 49:03–54:45
- Indoor smoking at venues: 57:56–60:07
- Hotel fire sprinkler disaster: 61:08–63:49
- Plugs and closing: 64:08–65:03
Tone & Takeaways
The energy is relentlessly playful, self-effacing, and big-hearted. Jay is all-in on revealing the most embarrassing, bodily, and idiosyncratic details of his “garbage” life, while the hosts keep the banter fast and the tone chaotic, deeply relatable, and weirdly informative. There is warmth in the trashiness—an invitation for the audience to both cringe and celebrate the wonderful messiness of fat guy mistakes and late-bloomed adulthood.
A must-listen for fans of fearless, extremely real comedy.