Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Episode: Fat Kid Nicknames! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Date: January 26, 2026
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Episode Overview
This episode is a riotous "family episode" of Are You Garbage?, with just the regular crew—no guest—playing their signature “is this garbage or not?” game and diving deep into trashy memories. The hosts riff on childhood fat kid nicknames, trashy food rituals, weird inheritances, and the ill-advised things parents do in public with their kids. The chemistry between Kevin Ryan and H. Foley is at its sharpest, delivering hilarious anecdotes and sharp-edged banter while examining the everyday moments that separate "classy" folks from certified dirtbags.
Key Discussion Topics & Insights
1. State of the Podcast & Old Memories
- The boys riff on upcoming tour dates and merchandise, poking fun at their own fall in the charts and wardrobe choices.
- Memorable Quote:
- Kevin (02:19): “We’re dropping a little bit. The numbers, the numbers are down.”
- Discussion about their style (Foley’s baggy pants), referencing how trends have changed and poking fun at each other’s looks.
- Old gig stories—Kevin’s first job at a pizza shop, wearing ill-fitting pants, and H. Foley’s tales of borrowing shiny shoes from his dad.
2. The Annoying Trend of 2016 Nostalgia
- Foley gripes about people posting about 2016 online. Ryan tries to jog his memory about why people think 2016 was so great.
- Quote:
- Foley (03:49): “Why is Everybody posting about 2016? That shit's annoying as fuck.”
- Both recall their own 2016 struggles—sharing winter coats and eating cheap pizza in New York.
- Kevin (08:22): “You’re sharing a winter coat and dollar sliced pizzas, good friend. I was in my 40s, we had each other. You were hanging out with a 40 year old loser.”
- A running joke: today’s big pants vs. yesteryear’s outgrown trends.
3. Parents Teaching Kids “Life Lessons” in Public (Ordering at Restaurants)
- Foley vents about parents making their shy children order food in public, roping in servers for “learning moments.”
- Foley (11:10): “You’re dragging this poor waiter into this, so he's gotta stand there and do this fucking bit with you and your kid.”
- Ryan plays devil’s advocate, but agrees it can be annoying, especially when the parent is pushing it harder than the kid wants.
- They both agree: if your kid isn’t ready, don’t force it and don’t slow down the overworked service staff.
- Kevin (14:55): “Don’t go, ‘What do you have on that?’ like fucking say it with your chest, little bitch. Get out there.”
- Classic Are You Garbage Philosophy: don’t make your personal life lessons everyone else’s inconvenience.
- Foley’s past waitering experience informs his gripes, but Ryan reminds him he was never a model customer either—ribbing each other for their own “garbage” habits.
4. Microwaving: Paper Towel or No?
- Audience “garbage question”: Do you cover your food in the microwave with a paper towel?
- All admit they hardly, if ever, do it. Luke’s “science” brings up that it prevents splatters and keeps food moist.
- Relatable trashy kid memories about nuking frozen bagels and hotdog bun disasters ensue.
- Foley (34:18): “The great hot dog bun disaster in the Foley family of 19—”
- The importance of knowing “your” microwave like you know “the back of your asshole.”
5. Trashy Inheritance: Tools, Beer, Debts
- Listener question about inheriting only plumbing tools, Bud Light Lime, Allagash, and debts after a parent’s passing.
- The hosts validate this as a classic “dirtbag inheritance.”
- Kevin and Luke discuss inheritance laws: typically you don’t inherit debt unless you co-signed, but in Germany you must decide up front whether to accept an inheritance, which could include debts.
- Kevin (60:50): “That is a perfectly dirtbag inheritance. You get some debt, you get some tools, and you got to chase down a couple of the guys who were trying to skirt off a couple of beers.”
6. Fat Kid Nicknames & Social Trauma
- Kevin recounts being called “Heavy Kevy” as a kid, getting shamed by another family for eating all the pretzels at a party.
- Foley adds stories of being called Santa Claus by kids while waiting tables and of family events gone awkward.
- Kevin (59:18): “Same family used to … they used to call me Heavy Kevy. And the whole family, I remember being like, this is f---ed up.”
7. Other "Garbage" Questions
- Is buying food from Goodwill trash? (Yes, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.)
- Is it trashy to buy a decommissioned cop car? (Classic bit, just don’t drive drunk and pull your friends over.)
8. Spending Your First Paycheck on One Dumb Thing
- Listener story: spent entire first paycheck on shoes, immediately had to borrow money.
- Foley’s story: buying the original Batman VHS for $100—watching it once, instantly filled with regret.
- Kevin recalls losing his paycheck gambling as a teen, chasing the sick thrill of blowing all his money and feeling like a loser.
Notable Quotes & Moments
| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-------------|--------------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:49 | H. Foley | "Why is Everybody posting about 2016? That shit's annoying as fuck." | | 08:22 | Kevin Ryan | “You’re sharing a winter coat and dollar sliced pizzas, good friend. I was in my 40s, we had each other."| | 11:10 | H. Foley | “You’re dragging this poor waiter into this, so he's gotta stand there and do this fucking bit..." | | 14:55 | Kevin Ryan | "Say it with your chest, little bitch. Get out there." | | 34:18 | H. Foley | “The great hot dog bun disaster in the Foley family of 19—” | | 59:18 | Kevin Ryan | “Same family used to … they used to call me Heavy Kevy. And the whole family, I remember being like, this is fucked up.”| | 60:50 | Kevin Ryan | "That is a perfectly dirtbag inheritance. You get some debt, you get some tools, and you got to chase down a couple of the guys who were trying to skirt off a couple of beers."| | 70:00 | H. Foley | "I bought the cassette of the original Batman with Michael Keaton the day it went on sale at West Coast Video. ... It was $100." | | 71:32 | Kevin Ryan | "Everything I just worked for all week, every day, Saturday, all Sunday, gone. ... and I think part of me still chases that." |
Key Segments with Timestamps
- 00:18: Show open, banter about chart position, tour dates, and merch.
- 03:49–05:10: Discussion of 2016 nostalgia trend.
- 10:09–16:37: Kids ordering at restaurants, service worker pet peeves.
- 32:06–36:18: Paper towels in microwaves—debate and stories.
- 49:04–55:12: Goodwill food, snack tub stories, fat kid snack shame.
- 59:18–60:00: Childhood fat nicknames—“Heavy Kevy.”
- 60:00–64:40: Inheritance mini-segment—what’s actually “passed down” when dirtbags die?
- 69:06–72:23: Listener tales of blowing whole first paychecks; hosts’ confessions of similar youthful stupidity.
Tone & Language
- Raw, conversational, and hilariously self-deprecating.
- Frequent ribbing, classic New York / Philly trash talk.
- Stories are candid and sometimes crude but always underlyingly warm.
For New Listeners
This episode is a perfect introduction to Are You Garbage?—a freewheeling deep-dive into what makes people (and themselves) “trash,” bonded by blue-collar memories, food rituals, family dysfunction, and a genuine affection for the ways people fail to be sophisticated. Perfect for those who love standup-comic-level banter, fat kid stories, and the comfort of comic self-recognition.
Skip to these segments for highlights:
- 10:09 – Foley’s rant about parents making kids order
- 32:06 – Microwave debate
- 49:04 – Party mix theft & fat kid snack shame
- 59:18 – “Heavy Kevy” trauma
- 69:06 – Blowing your first paycheck
- 60:50 – Dirtbag inheritance discussion