Fat Kid Nicknames! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Summary

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Episode: Fat Kid Nicknames! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Date: January 26, 2026
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

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Episode Overview

This episode is a riotous "family episode" of Are You Garbage?, with just the regular crew—no guest—playing their signature “is this garbage or not?” game and diving deep into trashy memories. The hosts riff on childhood fat kid nicknames, trashy food rituals, weird inheritances, and the ill-advised things parents do in public with their kids. The chemistry between Kevin Ryan and H. Foley is at its sharpest, delivering hilarious anecdotes and sharp-edged banter while examining the everyday moments that separate "classy" folks from certified dirtbags.

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Key Discussion Topics & Insights

1. State of the Podcast & Old Memories

• The boys riff on upcoming tour dates and merchandise, poking fun at their own fall in the charts and wardrobe choices.
• Memorable Quote:
  • Kevin (02:19): “We’re dropping a little bit. The numbers, the numbers are down.”
• Discussion about their style (Foley’s baggy pants), referencing how trends have changed and poking fun at each other’s looks.
• Old gig stories—Kevin’s first job at a pizza shop, wearing ill-fitting pants, and H. Foley’s tales of borrowing shiny shoes from his dad.

2. The Annoying Trend of 2016 Nostalgia

• Foley gripes about people posting about 2016 online. Ryan tries to jog his memory about why people think 2016 was so great.
• Quote:
  • Foley (03:49): “Why is Everybody posting about 2016? That shit's annoying as fuck.”
• Both recall their own 2016 struggles—sharing winter coats and eating cheap pizza in New York.
• Kevin (08:22): “You’re sharing a winter coat and dollar sliced pizzas, good friend. I was in my 40s, we had each other. You were hanging out with a 40 year old loser.”
• A running joke: today’s big pants vs. yesteryear’s outgrown trends.

3. Parents Teaching Kids “Life Lessons” in Public (Ordering at Restaurants)

• Foley vents about parents making their shy children order food in public, roping in servers for “learning moments.”
• Foley (11:10): “You’re dragging this poor waiter into this, so he's gotta stand there and do this fucking bit with you and your kid.”
• Ryan plays devil’s advocate, but agrees it can be annoying, especially when the parent is pushing it harder than the kid wants.
• They both agree: if your kid isn’t ready, don’t force it and don’t slow down the overworked service staff.
• Kevin (14:55): “Don’t go, ‘What do you have on that?’ like fucking say it with your chest, little bitch. Get out there.”
• Classic Are You Garbage Philosophy: don’t make your personal life lessons everyone else’s inconvenience.
• Foley’s past waitering experience informs his gripes, but Ryan reminds him he was never a model customer either—ribbing each other for their own “garbage” habits.

4. Microwaving: Paper Towel or No?

• Audience “garbage question”: Do you cover your food in the microwave with a paper towel?
• All admit they hardly, if ever, do it. Luke’s “science” brings up that it prevents splatters and keeps food moist.
• Relatable trashy kid memories about nuking frozen bagels and hotdog bun disasters ensue.
• Foley (34:18): “The great hot dog bun disaster in the Foley family of 19—”
• The importance of knowing “your” microwave like you know “the back of your asshole.”

5. Trashy Inheritance: Tools, Beer, Debts

• Listener question about inheriting only plumbing tools, Bud Light Lime, Allagash, and debts after a parent’s passing.
• The hosts validate this as a classic “dirtbag inheritance.”
• Kevin and Luke discuss inheritance laws: typically you don’t inherit debt unless you co-signed, but in Germany you must decide up front whether to accept an inheritance, which could include debts.
• Kevin (60:50): “That is a perfectly dirtbag inheritance. You get some debt, you get some tools, and you got to chase down a couple of the guys who were trying to skirt off a couple of beers.”

6. Fat Kid Nicknames & Social Trauma

• Kevin recounts being called “Heavy Kevy” as a kid, getting shamed by another family for eating all the pretzels at a party.
• Foley adds stories of being called Santa Claus by kids while waiting tables and of family events gone awkward.
• Kevin (59:18): “Same family used to … they used to call me Heavy Kevy. And the whole family, I remember being like, this is f---ed up.”

7. Other "Garbage" Questions

• Is buying food from Goodwill trash? (Yes, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.)
• Is it trashy to buy a decommissioned cop car? (Classic bit, just don’t drive drunk and pull your friends over.)

8. Spending Your First Paycheck on One Dumb Thing

• Listener story: spent entire first paycheck on shoes, immediately had to borrow money.
• Foley’s story: buying the original Batman VHS for $100—watching it once, instantly filled with regret.
• Kevin recalls losing his paycheck gambling as a teen, chasing the sick thrill of blowing all his money and feeling like a loser.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-------------|--------------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:49 | H. Foley | "Why is Everybody posting about 2016? That shit's annoying as fuck." | | 08:22 | Kevin Ryan | “You’re sharing a winter coat and dollar sliced pizzas, good friend. I was in my 40s, we had each other."| | 11:10 | H. Foley | “You’re dragging this poor waiter into this, so he's gotta stand there and do this fucking bit..." | | 14:55 | Kevin Ryan | "Say it with your chest, little bitch. Get out there." | | 34:18 | H. Foley | “The great hot dog bun disaster in the Foley family of 19—” | | 59:18 | Kevin Ryan | “Same family used to … they used to call me Heavy Kevy. And the whole family, I remember being like, this is fucked up.”| | 60:50 | Kevin Ryan | "That is a perfectly dirtbag inheritance. You get some debt, you get some tools, and you got to chase down a couple of the guys who were trying to skirt off a couple of beers."| | 70:00 | H. Foley | "I bought the cassette of the original Batman with Michael Keaton the day it went on sale at West Coast Video. ... It was $100." | | 71:32 | Kevin Ryan | "Everything I just worked for all week, every day, Saturday, all Sunday, gone. ... and I think part of me still chases that." |

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Key Segments with Timestamps

• 00:18: Show open, banter about chart position, tour dates, and merch.
• 03:49–05:10: Discussion of 2016 nostalgia trend.
• 10:09–16:37: Kids ordering at restaurants, service worker pet peeves.
• 32:06–36:18: Paper towels in microwaves—debate and stories.
• 49:04–55:12: Goodwill food, snack tub stories, fat kid snack shame.
• 59:18–60:00: Childhood fat nicknames—“Heavy Kevy.”
• 60:00–64:40: Inheritance mini-segment—what’s actually “passed down” when dirtbags die?
• 69:06–72:23: Listener tales of blowing whole first paychecks; hosts’ confessions of similar youthful stupidity.

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Tone & Language

• Raw, conversational, and hilariously self-deprecating.
• Frequent ribbing, classic New York / Philly trash talk.
• Stories are candid and sometimes crude but always underlyingly warm.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a perfect introduction to Are You Garbage?—a freewheeling deep-dive into what makes people (and themselves) “trash,” bonded by blue-collar memories, food rituals, family dysfunction, and a genuine affection for the ways people fail to be sophisticated. Perfect for those who love standup-comic-level banter, fat kid stories, and the comfort of comic self-recognition.

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Skip to these segments for highlights:

• 10:09 – Foley’s rant about parents making kids order
• 32:06 – Microwave debate
• 49:04 – Party mix theft & fat kid snack shame
• 59:18 – “Heavy Kevy” trauma
• 69:06 – Blowing your first paycheck
• 60:50 – Dirtbag inheritance discussion

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Transcript

[H. Foley]

A good lord. Ladies and gentlemen, I do declare, there's some new are you garbage dates over there at are you garbage dot com.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. The big man ain't lying. We just announced Netflix is a joke festival in Los Angeles on May 7th. And we have the Comedy Works in Denver July 16th to July 18th. Get those tickets. These shows are going to sell out. We love you.

[H. Foley]

We'll see you there. Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or. Or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is are you garbage?

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, Dan.

[H. Foley]

It's our little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find it at their group to be classy. Yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, HOH Coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with toady's in a new edition. She's selling meth. Just cut to the chase.

[Kevin Ryan]

Stop beating around the bush.

[H. Foley]

Stop beating around the bush.

[Kevin Ryan]

She's pushing weight.

[H. Foley]

Things are the way it is.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh.

[H. Foley]

And this is what we're doing.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay?

[H. Foley]

You know what I mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, look at Q1 baby lock in.

[H. Foley]

Hey, well we gotta be. Wait, we gotta be boy scouts all of a sudden now whole place is falling apart. Sure, do what we do. Okay, Mike house is coming at you from across the table. It's called family episode. Might have got a little bit of that product, to be honest with you. Some of them fumes when I'm in the bathroom. It's me or you, Tony. Oh yeah, me.

[Kevin Ryan]

You can tell you already got meth mouth. Your teeth are gone.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, got meth mouth before meth. This is what we call a family episode, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hold, hold. Somebody get him another hit, will you? Hey, bring in the meth pipe. Let's go. Holy heck.

[H. Foley]

Just the boys, the bozos and the.

[Kevin Ryan]

Homies and my plug.

[H. Foley]

That Kevin Ryan.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's up, gang?

[H. Foley]

Standing on ceremony. I didn't know where I was. You cut me off in the middle of that. It takes me a second to remember.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

I'm an old man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. What up, gang? Shout out to you as always. Please make Luke sit down. Please make sure you. Luke, cut to yourself.

[H. Foley]

He's on method. Jesus Christ.

[Kevin Ryan]

Please make sure you rate view subscribe on itunes full I got a goddamn job to do here. Please make sure you rate review subscribe on itunes Full video available on YouTube full video available over there on Spotify. And the boys are climbing a friggin chart.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that's not exactly accurate.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're dropping a little bit. The numbers, the numbers are down.

[H. Foley]

Listen, we slipped out of the top 100 this week.

[Kevin Ryan]

What? Yeah, don't tell them that. They don't know these people. These people don't know what the hell.

[H. Foley]

Trying to be honest.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're taking. That's 1-800-Meth if you need any, then obviously the greatest website of all time. Www.patreon.com Are you garbage? And also the boys are hitting the road again. The tour rolls on in 2026. We got Tampa, we got Chicago, we got Austin, Cleveland, Cleveland, Bloomington, Indiana, Nashville. These tickets are going quick and we're doing clubs, we're pushing up the clubs.

[H. Foley]

Rochester Tempe.

[Kevin Ryan]

Rochester Tempe. What are you going on tour with? We might be drunk or something. Double dipping.

[H. Foley]

Going out on the road solo.

[Kevin Ryan]

And also Denver. Denver Comedy Works, baby. Get them freaking tickets. These shows are gonna sell out. You know the Boys.

[H. Foley]

That's a weekend in Denver.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know the boys move tickets. Get them while they last weekend at.

[H. Foley]

The Comedy Works here in Denver.

[Kevin Ryan]

We do multiple. We sell out multiple shows during a week. On Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Get your tickets. These shows are gonna go. And I don't know if we're adding another one now.

[H. Foley]

I like that comedy works out there.

[Kevin Ryan]

You might fuck around and do red Rocks.

[H. Foley]

We can do. What are we gonna do there?

[Kevin Ryan]

I'll grab lunch or something.

[H. Foley]

That's funny. He just had a dream about us doing red rocks and we were making out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did you have 15,000 friends you invited?

[Luke]

I showed up late and I freaked out.

[H. Foley]

Luke's having dreams about me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Luke's having dreams about you?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Luke]

Well, the whole team. You just took that, made it personal.

[H. Foley]

That's what I tend to do. Why is Everybody posting about 2016? That shit's annoying as fuck.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why?

[H. Foley]

Why? What happened in 2016?

[Kevin Ryan]

Nothing. Why? What's. What's the matter?

[H. Foley]

Because it's whack.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, it's whack?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey. Hey. 50 year old with a back where? His own back with his own merch on.

[H. Foley]

That's because of my hair.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh.

[H. Foley]

Trying to tame it and I don't know if I put it in a ponytail, you're gonna freak out, make fun of me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why would I freak out?

[H. Foley]

Call me lady boy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can we get an ankle cam on the big man to show off his new pants?

[H. Foley]

No, no.

[Kevin Ryan]

How far is. How big's that? Super wide Go.

[H. Foley]

I like them. They're comfy and they're cozy. Oh, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Comfy and they're cozy.

[H. Foley]

That's what's his face is wearing. I'm here with you camping.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who wants. Who wants comfy and cozy pants?

[H. Foley]

Who's the kid? Eldis. Who's the good looking kid?

[Kevin Ryan]

Stavi's boy.

[H. Foley]

No, not Stavi's boy. Shout out to elders.

[Kevin Ryan]

I love elder.

[H. Foley]

Who's the actor? Jacob Malordi. Yeah, he's wearing a lot of baggy shit.

[Luke]

Yeah, it's in.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, it's in. So I don't tell you, huh? I'm a hip, cool guy, look like.

[Kevin Ryan]

A janitor on his first day of work.

[H. Foley]

I didn't have my uniform pants. That was always the case. Oh, dude, I never had the uniform pants.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember my first job. Santo Palato, strip mall, pizza joint. About 12, 15 tables. Maybe. Maybe.

[H. Foley]

Sounds like a sex club.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to Ralph. And Christina. Took a chance on a young boy about eighth grade.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

First day, they were like, you gotta wear black pants and a white collared shirt to bus man. I didn't have none of that. I remember rummaging through my dad's closet.

[H. Foley]

Got your grandfather's old police uniform. Showed up dressed as a state trooper.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got the hat with the strap on it. Why is that strap always so short?

[H. Foley]

I don't know, buddy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, it's a goddamn state. You can't get an extra buckle in there.

[H. Foley]

I like the casual police stuff, the action stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's that?

[H. Foley]

You know, like when they got like. Like the guy, the Border Patrol, when we went. When we were going to Canada.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was far from casual. I got. Look, he was ready to invade Mars.

[H. Foley]

Well, that's what I'm saying.

[Kevin Ryan]

Talking about casual.

[H. Foley]

You know, the cargo pants and all that stuff. Not the dress up stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Because I had to work. My dad wore. You know, he had to wear a navy uniform to work. And he had these super shiny shoes that I had to borrow every once in a while. And, dude, I looked like an idiot.

[Kevin Ryan]

Showed to basketball practice. Slipping all over the joint, dude.

[H. Foley]

Shoes shining like Michael Jackson.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just Foley, stop doing a moonwalk. You're doing that. You catch the ball, then you lean.

[H. Foley]

I got dunked on.

[Kevin Ryan]

By a huge black.

[H. Foley]

That's a hit. I don't know what to tell you, dude.

[Kevin Ryan]

I thought. I remember showing up to my first day of work at this pizza place with a pair of dress black because I only had like my dad's.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Suit left over from the 80s.

[H. Foley]

Are you wearing like that material, little thin layer gabardine.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh man, hiding a pop in a boner. Those things are thin, slippery like a thin mint, daddy. But these pair of pants had about 15 pleats on them. Dude, it was. I mean, I look like MC Hammer dropping loaves of bread. Doing a hammer, doing the hammer crawl.

[H. Foley]

Can't cut this now. Can't cut this. Like they can't cut here.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was laughing.

[H. Foley]

I had a little inside restaurant joke. Which brings me to my next point. First of all, does 2016 get out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Of here and grab some lunch? OK, this 2016 shit, was this the thing you had?

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

No, I got something.

[Kevin Ryan]

Something big. Let's hope it's not another audio file. Somebody was like Foley. Getting mad at people being in a coffee shop is all time. Foley, huh?

[H. Foley]

And that was, that was, it was, that was the engineering.

[Luke]

Don't blame your bad gear on me.

[H. Foley]

To play it loud enough to get the thing. But the 2000. Listen, I didn't have a great 2016. 2025, to be honest with you. We were still.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wait, 2016? We were doing all right, were we?

[H. Foley]

Yeah, up here. I mean, so not to be posting about it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, no, 2016, we, you know, we had moved to New York, we had, you know, we were slowly cracking the comedy scene, the club scene.

[H. Foley]

We were doing reps. What'd you fall, hit your head? What are you talking about? We were tanking. You're sharing a winter coat and dollar sliced pizzas, good friend. I was in my 40s, we had each other. You were hanging out with a 40 year old loser.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know. See, look at us now. I'm hanging out with a 50 year old loser with big pants. Yeah, no, I thought we were, I mean, we were doing okay. We're doing better than we were any other time in our lives.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, whatever. Okay, I still don't get why everyone's posting about it. Could somebody explain it to me?

[Kevin Ryan]

It's a trend.

[H. Foley]

I don't know, 10 years ago, some shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, 10 years. It's a trend. Hey.

[H. Foley]

Fucking bunch of idiots. What are you doing back there?

[Kevin Ryan]

What's with. Let him do his job.

[H. Foley]

Is that his job?

[Kevin Ryan]

Supposed to be doing your job, distracting me.

[H. Foley]

I start freaking out. Where's stood he at? This is what I had.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you got?

[H. Foley]

Now I know I'm gonna be the bad guy on this one, okay? You've seen the program, especially you being a new dad and all that kind of. But I hope you don't go down this road, okay?

[Kevin Ryan]

It's gonna be like that. But are you gonna talk to your kid? Are you gonna bring him around places? Is he gonna bother me?

[H. Foley]

He don't bother me. It don't bother me.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's got a bit of a tude on him. Okay. The public.

[H. Foley]

Is not necessarily the place for your child's life lesson, especially when you involve other people in it. Okay, what's that? This has to. And I might have brought this up once or twice when I was waiting tables and stuff like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Call you fat or something. You shouldn't do that. Even though, you know, I told you.

[H. Foley]

About the kids that called me, thought I was Santa Claus when I was in Hawaii. Right?

[Kevin Ryan]

I. Santa, smoking in a hot tub, that's bad for your health, Santa. Hey, get out of here, kid.

[H. Foley]

Santa's on the naughty list, huh? This involves.

[Kevin Ryan]

I want to go see if your mom wants to sit on Santa's lap.

[H. Foley]

All right, you're at a restaurant or whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm at a restaurant. I've been to a restaurant.

[H. Foley]

You've been to a restaurant. You let the kid order, but he doesn't want to. You're okay. And this isn't a thing about the kid. It's the thing with the parent forcing this situation. Like, go ahead, Billy, tell him.

[Kevin Ryan]

What.

[H. Foley]

Tell him what you want. And the kid's like, doing the. You know, he doesn't want to say nothing because he's shy or whatever. And then Dad's like, remember you said you wanted to. You wanted to order? And then you're dragging this poor waiter into this, so he's got to stand there and do this fucking bit with you and your kid.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, you're not Abbott and Costello, you know, there's not lines.

[H. Foley]

You got work to do. It's like, dude, your kid don't want to order. He ain't there yet. When he's there, you'll go, billy, what do you want? Oh, hi. How are you, sir? Can I have a root beer and a grilled cheese? No problem. Okay. Until they can do that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shots of Cuddy Stark.

[H. Foley]

Do you get what I'm saying?

[Kevin Ryan]

I. Listen, I do understand.

[H. Foley]

You're gonna be that guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Man, you. You are a special kind of hater, you know that? You are something else.

[H. Foley]

Listen, go ahead. You see what I'm saying?

[Kevin Ryan]

A little bit. But also at the same time that you're working at a bear burger. Yeah, well, you're not working at a Michelin Star rest. You're doing a lunch shift at a bear burger in the Village.

[H. Foley]

So. My life decisions are now.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, listen, to question, you've been wearing the same. You've been wearing the same pleated pants for about five, six days straight without washing them. You've been wearing the same sweatshirt. I remember the Tokyo 76 sweatshirt you wore every fucking day.

[H. Foley]

I didn't wear that working.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, you did. The one time I went in there, you were wearing it.

[H. Foley]

I got that. Right?

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, listen, you only ever. You only ever owned one shirt for all of 2016, and it was the Tokyo 76. Drop the pic.

[H. Foley]

I got it. I got it. Here. Somebody wants to make. Make an offer. I'll put it up on ebay.

[Kevin Ryan]

I get what you're saying. And listen, if the kids, like, really can't speak, I get it.

[H. Foley]

It's not the kid. It's the dad that's doing it. That's like forcing this thing. Like, is. Is simplifying your time. I. I just. I just watched this happen the other day.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't disagree. I. Listen, I don't disagree with you in theory.

[H. Foley]

It's not about me. It's about other people in the service industry that have to deal with that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I get that.

[H. Foley]

That's the same fucking dad. That. Where the kid eats and all the stuff gets spilled all over the floor. They don't clean it up. I hope you're not going to be that guy. I know you're not.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why. Why are you just pegging me to be, like, the guy you hate? This is insane.

[H. Foley]

I know you're not.

[Kevin Ryan]

Don't be that guy. It's like, okay, listen, you're the. You're the guy. That is you 97% of the time. There is food everywhere you sit, and you know it. And I never seen you pick up anything off the floor after we left the restaurant. Okay, Guy, you really are what you hate. You are like. You hate the things in yourselves that, you know, you are. You hate the things or whatever.

[H. Foley]

Yes, yes, of course.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, I've been out. My son's not ordering yet. You know what I mean?

[H. Foley]

Tomahawk for two, big boy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Here's. I've been out with my nieces and nephews a lot, and I think this is. I think we're very similar in the sense of, like, we have anxiety not to bother that waiter. Right?

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

So I've seen it. And luckily, my nieces and nephews are very good at it. They're like. They're older, but, like, some are younger. And they'll go, I'll have the grilled cheese with the Sprite, whatever. You know what I mean? Good Order. Make that too. I'll do it. Dr. Pepper instead.

[H. Foley]

Little pickle juice in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'd be curious to hear from the more experienced parents with kids that are 4, 5, 6, 7, whatever years old.

[H. Foley]

I would assume they'd probably tell me to shut up a little bit.

[Kevin Ryan]

But I mean, like, you're also not wrong. I don't know how old. I don't know, like the age for that. You know what I mean? I listen, if the kid can't do it, sure. But I think there is a bit of a grace period where it's like, yeah, I mean, you know, takes a village. If you're, if you're in a place where there's kids and you're certain you have a kids menu, I got to push back. That like you're not at a high class joint.

[H. Foley]

That all comes with it.

[Kevin Ryan]

That, that all comes with it a little bit. Is, listen, is every table kids? No. Is it happening once a day? Do you got to eat that?

[H. Foley]

If you're selling Shirley Temples?

[Kevin Ryan]

Come on. That's a little bit.

[H. Foley]

You got to dance a little bit.

[Kevin Ryan]

But also there is something on the parents to be like, fucking execute. Yeah, don't go. What do you have on that? Like fucking say with your chest, little bitch. Get out there. You know what I mean? Okay, I agree with you. There's a time and place. I agree. Not ever. I do agree that everything should be a life lesson, especially if you're at lunch, shift at Bear Burger, you're in the weeds. Nyu.

[H. Foley]

It's not Bear Burger. Doesn't have to be bear. This isn't about me. It's really not. Did it drive me crazy when they used to do that? Yeah, a little bit. And I just happened to see it the other day.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, of course it happens outside of your experiences. For sure. But it did drive you crazy.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, it drove me nuts. Yeah, it's like, dude, the kid don't want to order, man. One, you're forcing them. Two, you're wasting this guy's time. He's got drinks to make and shit. There's a busy bar.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's got dinner rolls to sneak in the walk in. Just missed my sink break guy, let's go. He's a hostess. I'm trying to bang. I, I, yeah, no, I, I, I tend to. I gotta agree with you on that one. For sure. There's a time and a place. But I guess as a, I mean, yeah, listen, maybe the kid isn't typically shy and he gets shy for some reason. Maybe you're creeping him out as the waiter, you know what I mean? He's looking to go, why doesn't this guy have any teeth? That's freaking me out as a grown man without any teeth.

[H. Foley]

What do you want, little boy?

[Kevin Ryan]

You're sweating, coming off a fucking bender, you know what I mean? You need a perk 30 in you. Your guy hasn't shown up yet. You got a little bit of an edge to you. What do you want, kid? And he's like, I don't. I was confident. Tell me now before Santa Claus started yelling at me. So yeah, maybe it's what you're putting out.

[H. Foley]

Have you had any interactions like this with the baby? Of like, I don't know, that's a kid talking. But like, I don't know, like neighbors saying hi or whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, Gucci.

[H. Foley]

And you got to kind of be that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I got to be. I got to go, hey, say hi, say bye. Yeah, you do that. But yeah, you know, you're going to. That's part of it. I don't know, I'm still very early in this and I, I think parents would go like, hey, guy who's getting 25% tip and probably gonna fuck up the order, take the extra 10 seconds and my, this is a learning point for my kid. I don't know. I don't know because I get the.

[H. Foley]

Feeling that a lot of people don't stand on those airs with me.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean?

[H. Foley]

Like, I'm not the guy that gets that, especially with dogs. Dog owners will just yank a dog away from me without even giving me the time of day. I go, hey, what's up buddy? And the dog wants to hang out for a second because I got good connection with a dog because you got.

[Kevin Ryan]

A little bit of pee dribbles on you. He wants to catch a sniff, wants to see what you're banging with.

[H. Foley]

I'm smelling his ass. No, they just yanked the dog away from me. Yeah. Because, you know, I look like a bozo.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've seen you interact with a lot of dogs though.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, a little bit.

[Kevin Ryan]

But some, I mean, you know, some, some people are like that. Listen, you, you're also just a plague, you know, I don't know, I can't make these broad statements, you know. Yeah, maybe that, that dog owner is in a rush. Uh huh. You know, or what? I didn't say or at all.

[Luke]

You know, I don't want to pile on.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't want to pile on. You don't see, you don't pile on.

[H. Foley]

Is the show. You get what I'm saying?

[Kevin Ryan]

I do.

[H. Foley]

You know what I mean?

[Luke]

Here, you come on a bit strong.

[Kevin Ryan]

You come on a bit strong sometimes, and, you know, you're a large, sometimes intimidating gentleman to maybe smaller, weaker lady of kind.

[H. Foley]

I was walking down the street the other day, and this lady was going into her building, so I followed her. Do you have a dog? And there was a guy. The guy wasn't, like, trying to get into her building with her, but it was like, as she was opening her door, he was, like, shaking her down for money, you know what I mean? And then he moved on. And as I walked by, just kind of gave her like a look like, don't worry, I had your back.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, don't worry. If he didn't get you, I would. You know what I mean? You got to be careful out here, lady.

[H. Foley]

I've let her know the book. I let her know the bug man's here in case I need a spring in action. K. Let's talk about Mars men.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to the men from Mars.

[H. Foley]

Talking about Mars men. Natural testosterone support. Listen, we start getting older. Who the tea starts dropping. Other things stop working. You lose your stamina a little bit. You're tired, you're sluggish.

[Kevin Ryan]

A little pep in the step.

[H. Foley]

You could use a little pep in the step. That's why you go to Marsman.

[Kevin Ryan]

You start dragging ass.

[H. Foley]

Start dragging ass. Use Marsman. Natural testosterone support, baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. And nobody. The thing is, nobody tells you you're just cruising one day. Next thing you know, it feels like you hit a brick wall and you're like. Feels like you're walking in your dad's shoes. You're all stumbling, wumbling. You know what the hell's going on? Comes on quick. Yes, I want to be 50. You, your body makes. Here's the thing. Your body makes testosterone. But if a lot of it gets locked up and can't be used, there's this protein called SHBG that basically handcuffs your testosterone. And we got the keys for you, baby. So even if your body's making testosterone, SHBG locks it up so you can't access it. It's like having money in the bank, but your debit card don't work. You ain't got the PIN number to set it free, baby.

[H. Foley]

Been there before.

[Kevin Ryan]

You get stronger physical performance plus recovery in the gym, more consistent natural energy. You feel better, baby. You can feel better all of 20, 26 and put those past couple of years behind you. All a good way to kick off the year. It supports healthy t Levels, energy and stamina. Eight natural clinically dosed ingredients. A lot of things I can't pronounce. Vitamin D, zinc boron and more. Tongkat Ali. Something else. It's made in the US of a third party tested 90 day money back guarantee. So there's no risk. Worst case, you don't absolutely love it and you get your money back. So what are we talking about here?

[H. Foley]

Let's go.

[Kevin Ryan]

For a limited time, our listeners get 50% off for life plus free shipping and three free gifts@ Mengotomars.com it's the perfect way to kick off the new year. Strong baby. That's Mengotomars.com for 50% off plus three free gifts at checkout. After your purchase are going to ask you how you heard about them. Tell them the boys send me it. Are you garbage? We love you gang.

[H. Foley]

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. As you know, Kippy and I, big proponents of talk therapy. Better helps the way to go. We're talking about quality therapists over there. Talking about therapist match commitment. The lining up with a therapist that's perfect for you. And of course you got those client reviews over there that speak for themselves.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, the big thing, the big thing for me, big selling point for me to join BetterHelp was the therapist match commitment. It does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and your preferences. And they got 12 plus years of experience and industry leading match fulfillment rate means they typically get it right the first time. But if you are not happy with your match, you can switch to a different therapist at any time from one of their tailored recommendations. And that's the big thing is you get in, just get. Listen, they're gonna get it. They're gonna give you a pretty good, a pretty good match. If it's not for you, they go, oh, if it's not Billy, it's Mary. If it ain't Mary, it's Steve. And listen, they're gonna find the right one for you. It's just that simple. BetterHelp makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. Sign up and get 10 [e-mail] garbage one more time. You know it. I know. We sing it from the rafters. That's better. Help h e lp.com/garbage do it. Back to the show.

[H. Foley]

Back to the show.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes. Listen, I do. Back to you. I would love to hear what actual experienced parents think and I'm sure waiters hate it. I'm for sure. I'm sure. You know, cashiers hate anybody that has to deal with it. You know, in your already relatively non glamorous job.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, it's.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know, like I said, you're underappreciated to begin with. A lot of times I get. I get all that. You're fucking in the weeds, you got a fucking. A jerk off manager breaking your balls, all this kind of shit. You're probably, you know, if you're anything like me when I was working not great jobs. You're wearing a hangover from the fucking night before. You know. What do you keep looking at?

[H. Foley]

I could have swore we settled the black T shirt war.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, literally, I'm in the middle of answering your stupid fucking question and you just. You're like. You have. You have the. You have the attention span of a fly.

[H. Foley]

I just noticed it. I'm sorry.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

I think one of us should go and change.

[Kevin Ryan]

Should be you. It's well docked that I'm the fucking black T shirt guy. It's not even close.

[H. Foley]

Dude, I thought this was all put to bed.

[Kevin Ryan]

Pop it off, dump them out for the girls.

[H. Foley]

No, I give that. I gave you that little teaser on Patreon, which I was supposed to get paid extra for that. Supposed to be a nudity charge.

[Kevin Ryan]

How much?

[H. Foley]

2500.

[Kevin Ryan]

Luke send it to him? Yeah, I just paid Luke back for that when he paid me on air that one time.

[H. Foley]

Really just paid him back.

[Kevin Ryan]

I told him to send me the Venmo request cuz I keep forgetting he never did.

[H. Foley]

I can't believe he didn't.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know.

[H. Foley]

He's the king of the Venmo request.

[Kevin Ryan]

I still got some sitting on you a little bitch and you ain't getting them.

[H. Foley]

One Cronut. Venmo request. It's his generation.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're in a great mood today.

[H. Foley]

I am. Feel good.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's up with people posting 10 year old pictures?

[H. Foley]

What?

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, other than that. Luke sending Venmo. What's up with these parents and your kids?

[H. Foley]

Other than that. Other than parents and their kids, which I know I'm gonna be the bad guy on. 90% of people out there and these 2016 bullshit.

[Kevin Ryan]

And Luke well, yeah, okay, so far. It's a lot of people for paying my boss's bills.

[Luke]

Lot of beef or I'll get it.

[Kevin Ryan]

What the F. Are you coming taking shots of? Listen, you. You wet your beak well into 2026, my friend. Sorry if you're not getting this 1650 back. Fucking guy.

[H. Foley]

How much did you own I don't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

Probably 200. I have no idea.

[Luke]

For the Venmo. The Venmo for the. That was 660.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, you got that. That one you got. He's got other relatively smaller incurred expenses and out of principle, I can't give them.

[Luke]

That's fair.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's very fair. It's very fair. We don't count dollars and cents.

[H. Foley]

The hell you two are up to now? You two are on the list right now. Kevin and Luke's.

[Kevin Ryan]

Where are you waiting tables this weekend?

[H. Foley]

Budding friends.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm going to come in with my kid and we're going to sit there all day. Because he can't. He's non verbal.

[H. Foley]

Him I'd like. He's my boy. I don't mind him. That's where you do it with, you know, with. With a friend. You don't drag some poor barista into it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I.

[H. Foley]

You said you wanted to tell him. Tell him.

[Kevin Ryan]

But I. I don't disagree. And the very little I know about parenting and I know a lot about bad parenting.

[H. Foley]

I think you're a good parent.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not saying I've been on the receiving end of a good amount of bad parenting.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, me too.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not by my mom. Casey hears this.

[H. Foley]

No comment.

[Kevin Ryan]

Patty, we're talking to you. I love you. I think that's how kids learn of like, when else are they going to learn? You know what I mean? It's like. But you know, that's how they develop. I think I would assume. I don't know.

[H. Foley]

Then how about a hey, thanks for doing that. Here's an extra 5, extra 20, something like that. Take care of people. If you're going to bring me in, I mean, I know how much daycare costs.

[Kevin Ryan]

You want five bucks? You want five bucks for talking to a fucking eight year old?

[H. Foley]

You keep. It's not me. I'm out of the game. I'm talking about now, okay? Making the world.

[Kevin Ryan]

How do you know these people aren't doing that though?

[H. Foley]

I saw the guy leave with the kid.

[Kevin Ryan]

So how do you know he didn't fucking juice the tip?

[H. Foley]

I don't.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

I know you want to peg me. You know you want to peg me into a corner.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're pegging this guy into a corner. You're pegging all these people.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I'm your friend.

[Kevin Ryan]

You don't know. Sometimes you like to get pegged. I hear. Came across my radar. What now mom's the word?

[H. Foley]

I am what I am. Listen, it's a family show.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes, all that. All that's. Neither here nor there. I. Listen, I. I think that's a very good point. I agree with you. And I also, you know, it's open for interpretation. I don't know. I don't have the answer. I think you should. You might want to be a little bit more flexible on the idea though. A little bit.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

And the 2000, the 20. 2016 thing. I think we should. You should do a post.

[H. Foley]

I don't have any pictures in 2020.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got pictures of 2016.

[H. Foley]

Do you?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, we're. We're friends, but.

[H. Foley]

You do?

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh.

[H. Foley]

Probably racy. No, I'm not posting nothing about a buck 80 lighter.

[Kevin Ryan]

For sure. Remember that time you showed up in that fucking yellow shirt? That yellow T shirt?

[H. Foley]

What yellow?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. You just rolled in with a brand new yellow T shirt. We were calling you Colonel Mustard all night.

[H. Foley]

Oh yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You thought that was gonna blow the tits off the joint. You thought that you were like next stop guy code or whatever. You were locked in, dude.

[H. Foley]

You had just like a yellow cat.

[Kevin Ryan]

Remember? I remember I had that. It was around the same time I had that NYC crew neck from H M. Nyc, nyc. And it had camo behind it, like a little bit of leather. Remember? With leather on T shirts was cool.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Multiple layers.

[Kevin Ryan]

I thought I was. I used to wear that like six days a week. Struck out, city doggy. Now look at us. Huh?

[H. Foley]

Now look at us.

[Kevin Ryan]

Black, dirty black T shirts.

[H. Foley]

Mine's clean. Your. Your neck is super thick.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's not the only thing that's super thick.

[H. Foley]

The hell does that have to do with my butthole?

[Kevin Ryan]

It's a little inflamed. I got worms.

[H. Foley]

Caught a bad bucket of chili this weekend.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's listen. We got work to do here. We're having fun and games. Calling each other fat, dumb, stupid, you know, and then whatever you say about me. Or having fun. Am I gonna pay back Luke the 75 I owe him out of principal?

[H. Foley]

Why do you have 75?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know.

[H. Foley]

Let's get this out of the way. Welcome back to Foley Court, where I solved the case. What's this about?

[Luke]

It's like it's Ubers. It's. We did. We used to take a lot of flash photos and I used to put it on my car. Now I got the company card.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's fine. He also ends up.

[H. Foley]

This is old. This is like old old.

[Luke]

Yeah, probably like 20, 23 looking back.

[H. Foley]

You really.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Wow.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

And you just. Did you just remind him of this?

[Kevin Ryan]

Like, hey, they're sitting in there. When I go in, I see them.

[H. Foley]

Huh. A lot of flash.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, he ends up in Ubers from time to time that are not. It'll be Saturday night and it's like, hey, Luke just requested a ride to some cool hip restaurant. And I know he's not going there for fucking work purposes because I'm at home feeding my baby, okay?

[Luke]

Love that Kevin Ryan family account.

[Kevin Ryan]

Everybody's sucking on the Kippy tails.

[H. Foley]

You have to approve it.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it's just there. And sometimes I let it slide and other times I go, what do you what? Sometimes I'll take a picture of the menu and send it to him.

[H. Foley]

And.

[Kevin Ryan]

Say, I tried a rigatoni. Jesus, I know everything now you give him one. Give a tome. A boat. He works hard.

[H. Foley]

Of course.

[Kevin Ryan]

You, on the other hand, short leash. Real bad. All right, listen, let's get in. We got some fun, we got some. Some homie questions to go over. Guys, as you know, when you join the old Patreon, the 15,362current paid members over at the Patreon. Listen, men lie. Foley lies, I lie, Luke lies. Numbers do not lie. The value is there. Listen, you join the $10 level, all those other subscriptions you're on and go, this ain't worth it. We got five years of content. Two. Two eps a week. Five years. You do the math.

[H. Foley]

I'm with you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Think about it.

[H. Foley]

What's the math on what?

[Kevin Ryan]

Two episodes a week for a year. How many episodes is that?

[H. Foley]

Two episodes a week. There's 52 weeks in a year. Two times 52 is 104.

[Kevin Ryan]

Here we go. 104 a year.

[H. Foley]

Let's.

[Kevin Ryan]

Say we did five. Let's say it was 20. 20, maybe it wasn't. Let's say all 20. 21, 22, 23, 24, 25. Five years.

[H. Foley]

Can I use my pencil and pad, please? All right, so 104 episodes a year times five years. Zero. Two.

[Kevin Ryan]

Fuck.

[H. Foley]

This is even more confusing me. The five and the zero is zero and then two is two. Five hundred and twenty episodes sounds about right.

[Kevin Ryan]

There you go. Yeah, there's more of that thrilling content over on Patreon.com. there you go. So listen, let's. And as you know, when you join the old Patreon, you get to answer your. You get to ask your garbage question.

[H. Foley]

On the friggin air by Mr. Kevin Ryan himself.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's see. This is what I never thought of. A little more of a debate. This is from Blake. Do you use a Microwave cover for your food or paper towels. I got to be honest with you, I've never used anything when you're heating something up in the microwave. Never once? Never once.

[H. Foley]

You know when you say the paper towel thing, I've never used it. But there's people that use them religiously.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is that for like that, like keeps it in and heats it like from the top again, like a lid on a stove.

[H. Foley]

I think it has to do we.

[Kevin Ryan]

Get some science behind this, Lucas.

[H. Foley]

It has to do with that. Some moisture issues. But I know people that wrap a lot of stuff up in a paper towel and put it in the microwave. I think I used never done it.

[Kevin Ryan]

We used to. My mom, at my mom's, we used to frozen lenders bagels. They sucked. Remember lenders? Of course these were frozen. So you'd have to thaw it out in the microwave for like 30 seconds.

[H. Foley]

You gotta be real, real smart with that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wrap it in paper towel.

[H. Foley]

We didn't do that.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then we'd put it in the toast and these things were free. I remember like pulling out hockey puck and they like all. Everything had left them at the point where they were like. They were like weightless. And you were just like, there's nothing. There's no moisture in here. These are air dry.

[H. Foley]

Your mistake was you. You don't have to microwave them. You don't have to thaw them out. You put them right in the freezer, right in the toaster. Frozen, which is what we do with our bread.

[Kevin Ryan]

We couldn't cut them.

[H. Foley]

You gotta be able to get in there, snap it with a butter knife. But if you do put it in the microwave.

[Kevin Ryan]

But they would. I remember now. I remember. They would break in half. No, we would get them soft enough to open and then you fuck. Then you. Then you. Then you toast them, pop them.

[H. Foley]

I used to put them right in. Yeah, we learned our lesson with the microwave and defrosting bread very quickly. The great hot dog bun disaster in the foley family of 19.

[Kevin Ryan]

A cheap hot dog. If it ain't a potatoes hot dog, a potato bun. Or if it's a cheap bunch of like, if you buy like store brand buns, those things, they're like cotton balls. They don't. They get a rip in them. They ain't holding a diesel nothing.

[H. Foley]

No, I'm saying the defrost process in the microwave, I'm agreeing with you.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm saying especially if they're cheap hot dog buns, they're not going to last.

[H. Foley]

But ours would go too far. And they Would be. They would get harder. Oh, it would be crazy. You put it in for like 35.

[Kevin Ryan]

Seconds and get hard.

[H. Foley]

Oh be like you don't even know what it is.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that was turning a clay. There was always a mutate a very big. I. I knew she got a new microwave probably maybe 10 years ago or something because that was a new house when we moved into it. So my whole childhood they didn't change any appliances until I was well out. I mean I was probably in New York. So that house was like a bit of a. From a. From a appliance standpoint was they all lasted like 25, 30 years. I knew that microwave like the back of my fucking asshole, dude. I knew I could do a full plate of Thanksgiving dinner like anything.

[H. Foley]

You're like an Android.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh my God. Dude. I pull it out after 30 seconds, whip up, add the gravy fucking thread. Dude. I easy minute fucking defrost.

[H. Foley]

There aren't to it.

[Kevin Ryan]

You have to know your thing. And I. I knew that thing in.

[H. Foley]

And out pretty good. Luke, what do you know about a paper towel?

[Luke]

Paper towel seems to prevent messy splatters for like soups and stuff like that. Most importantly. And then also traps moisture.

[H. Foley]

Traps moisture. Now I don't do it because it was always foreign to me because putting something dry in a microwave seemed like it was going to. That it wasn't good. It was going to do something. I don't want the lint from the paper towel in there or something.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, just.

[H. Foley]

It never made sense to me.

[Kevin Ryan]

I get that.

[H. Foley]

You know what I mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. One thing will it can you put glass in a microwave? Yeah, I cracked a glass one time at my dad's. It was and got yelled at. It was a Notre Dame mug and I tried to make hot chocolate.

[H. Foley]

Wait a minute. Wait. Not a mug like a.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it gets fine like a style like a. You know, like. Like a pint glass. Like a Notre Dame pint glass. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

It's too thin.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it was thick though.

[Luke]

There's a microwave safe glass like Pyrex.

[Kevin Ryan]

This was not then. And I think I forgot to put water and I think I just had the powder at the bottom.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that's why it shattered. Look at a house didn't blow up. Another name cup too. Man, you would have got an earful of my house that screamed at oh yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who went to Notre Dame?

[H. Foley]

Nobody.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. All stealing, valor. Probably not even Irish. Probably Italian say that. I'm sorry. Don't say that. You bless yourself.

[H. Foley]

Son of a.

[Kevin Ryan]

God forbid.

[H. Foley]

I'll Be Spanish before Italian 100%, especially.

[Kevin Ryan]

With the naps they take and those unlimited small plates.

[H. Foley]

Kevin, let's talk about Cigars International.

[Kevin Ryan]

Cigars International.

[H. Foley]

I love a nice cigar every once in a great while. I like to enjoy myself, sit back, have a nice stogie as they say. Cigars International is the go to retailer for all things cigars with the biggest selection of premium handmade cigars available absolutely anywhere.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm. Cigars International offers unbeatable deals and discounts, making it easy to stock up on your favorites or try something new without breaking a bank. Let you do a little bit of discovery, you know what I mean? They got fast shipping and they're 100% satisfaction guarantee. You can shop with confidence knowing it. Cigars International stands behind every order. They have a good relationship with vendors to help you get low, low prices. Cigars International offers free everyday shipping. No minimums, no limits. Just shop, check out, enjoy the free delivery on every order, baby. Free to live. That's what we're talking about right now. You get 20% off your order of $50 or more plus free shipping on your entire order. Some exclusions apply. Use the code garbage at checkout for 20% off your order of $50 or more plus free shipping. Or visit www.cars International.com garbage and the discount will automatically apply. Do it, Kevin.

[H. Foley]

Talk about Chime Chime.

[Kevin Ryan]

Chime Chime Chime is changing the way.

[H. Foley]

People bank fee free and smarter banking built for you. Not like old school banks that charge you overdraft fees and monthly fees. I've been a victim of that a couple of times. We're talking about banking built for you. Not the 1 percenters out there, the hard working people in this country.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're talking boots on the ground, salt of the earth, blue collar people. Chime isn't just another banking app. They unlock smarter banking for everyday people with products like MyPay giving you access up to $500, your paycheck anytime and getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Some old banks still don't do this, which is crazy. Listen, everyone's been in a pinch. I'd be lying to say if I have it myself. Well documented, sometimes you need 24 hours, sometimes you need 48 hours. You got something coming up, the car breaks down, you got a big vacation, you want to go to the strip club, something you need a couple of bucks. Forget overdraft fees, minimum balance fees and monthly fees. Chime turns everyday spending time into real rewards and progress progress bank fee free plus overdraft Charge you can count on help you build credit history. Stress fee get paid when you say up to $500 earn up to 3.5% APY on savings, which is eight times higher than traditional banks. Rated five star by USA Today and customer serve for customer service. Real Humans 24.7Chime is not just smarter banking. It's the most rewarding way to bank. Join the millions who are already banking for free today. It' just takes a few minutes to sign up. Head to chime.comgarbage that is chime.com garbage. Do it.

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[H. Foley]

They are the inventor of the small plate, aren't they? The Spanish, they like to do a little share plates.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't like it.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, always.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not for me.

[H. Foley]

Really small plate guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

I like a big plate.

[H. Foley]

That was big.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm American.

[H. Foley]

That was huge.

[Kevin Ryan]

Fuck wants half a roll and teenier. Give me the fucking big to share.

[H. Foley]

So you try everything.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't want to try.

[H. Foley]

Get a bunch of small plates.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, but Kevin, I like getting full on the thing. This goes back. My wife started listening to the show and we were trashing her. A couple weeks ago I listened to the fucking I go fuck. Yeah, it was all Foley, right? I was lying.

[H. Foley]

You probably throw me under the bus. No, I like a small plate. Little shrimps and green sauce. Something like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. I don't like a taste.

[H. Foley]

I would do Spanish, but I know they don't like us.

[Kevin Ryan]

The Spanish.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who cares about them?

[H. Foley]

They don't like us. They don't want us over there. They don't like us. They don't want us on vacation. They score people with squirt guns. When you go on vacation over there, I don't want you over there. So I wouldn't want to be Spanish knowing that they don't like me. Of course, if I was Spanish, I wouldn't like me either. My fat ass lumbering around.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, I'm American. Not a huge fan, okay? All Right. All right. What do you laugh?

[Luke]

He's right. Anti American sentiment is the highest in Spain.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've never heard that. I mean, you know, the. You hear the French. I never heard the Spanish. My sister lived there for a while. I got Spanish friends.

[H. Foley]

Your sister lived in Spain for a while? I didn't know that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, I'm sorry. That.

[H. Foley]

When was this?

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

Studying abroad?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Huh? In college?

[Kevin Ryan]

Elementary school? What the fuck?

[H. Foley]

Where'd she live? Barcelona.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did you just say Barcelona? What?

[H. Foley]

I said Barcelona.

[Kevin Ryan]

You don't have enough teeth to do the fucking lisp. Okay, guy.

[H. Foley]

Barcelona. Barcelona at all. You are. You are an actual Madrid.

[Kevin Ryan]

You are an actual crazy person. Oh, I love you, but.

[H. Foley]

You picked up on that, huh? That's the authentic way to say. You just said I was Spanish and maybe I am. I don't know what Patty was up to back in the day. Could be a lot of things.

[Kevin Ryan]

I seen that dick. All Irish.

[H. Foley]

Hey. Oh, my little skipper. That skips a generation. Now there's nothing to do with my hair. It's just we got bad luck. Caught a bad beat. Bad bag.

[Kevin Ryan]

You were dumb.

[H. Foley]

Aces and eights, baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is only five. What the heck?

[H. Foley]

Dead man's hand. What are you going to do?

[Luke]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Barcelona. That's how you say it?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. No, that's not how you say it.

[H. Foley]

That's how I say it.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, that's how they say it.

[H. Foley]

Who says it?

[Kevin Ryan]

We also don't call fucking Germany Deutschlander. Italy. Italia.

[H. Foley]

Deutschland. Nah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that's how they say it. You don't say Barthelona.

[H. Foley]

They say Deutschland.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Germany is the Americanized, the English version of it.

[H. Foley]

So if you ask a German person where they were from, what would they say?

[Kevin Ryan]

Deutschland. If they say it.

[H. Foley]

Stink them up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Let me see your hands. Yeah, I believe, unless I'm nuts, what it is.

[H. Foley]

It's got real World War II vibes. I don't like it.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what it is. And Italy is Italy. If you ever see, like, the jersey, the shirts, it's Italia. They don't say I'm from Italy, but they do when they're talking to. When they're not talking to paisans.

[H. Foley]

Give me five. Huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh.

[H. Foley]

Up top, huh? Yeah, whatever. Sick, all that putting that on a list, too.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sick of what?

[H. Foley]

I don't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

You were in a good mood today. I'm sick of all that shit. What?

[H. Foley]

I don't know. We don't have anything cool like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Deutschland for the fucking United States of friggin America.

[H. Foley]

That's right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm. You just Said you were Spanish.

[H. Foley]

No, I'm not.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's see here. This one's from Thomas. Ten Dollar Homie. Shout out to you.

[H. Foley]

Talk to me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is it garbage to take Foley's advice and tell the. This is already a sandbag setup. Is it garbage to take Foley's advice and tell the nurse at the ER that you're about to pass out so you can get to the front of the line?

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Then they take you back immediately so they can evaluate you for a stroke. Once they realize you're not having a stroke, you get dumped back into the waiting room for five hours. Thanks a lot, big guy.

[H. Foley]

What the fuck? You played it too hard. It's got to be aligned with what you got. You can't just say, I gotta. I'm gonna pass out. You can't go in there with a skin knee and say that. This whole episode, he's falling in on me. Listen.

[Kevin Ryan]

Damn.

[H. Foley]

Sorry about that, dude.

[Kevin Ryan]

He gets committed to a mental institution. That's the Foley. That's the Foley way, baby.

[H. Foley]

A stroke? That sounds like you had some dickhead nurse who, like, knew what you were doing. That's a bad beat you got caught there. That ain't me. Nine times out of ten that works.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it doesn't. I guess we have one out of one.

[H. Foley]

It doesn't work. I'm feeling a little bit woozy, but. What was he in for?

[Kevin Ryan]

What? I don't know. Why do you think I have, like, a file on these guys? You get what they say. I'm not, like, going back and forth. Pull up his fucking medical file. Called a fucking AMA broke.

[H. Foley]

Who goes to a stroke? A heart attack? Yes. Who goes to a stroke?

[Kevin Ryan]

It's an emergency room. It's not Dorney Park. It's. This is. That's where people go who are having a stroke.

[H. Foley]

Well, that's fucked up. Once you're back there, you should be taken care of.

[Kevin Ryan]

Once you're in. Once you're in the. Once you're within the city limits.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, once you're in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

I. I don't disagree with that.

[H. Foley]

A stroke and then they find out ye not having a stroke. It still made me.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

That's the only fucking reason you pass out, is because of a stroke. There's a lot of different reasons. Low blood sugar, lying.

[Kevin Ryan]

Heart attack, aneurysm.

[H. Foley]

Aneurysm? You got hit on the head. You could be concussed, and if you fall asleep, you're dead. According to my mother.

[Kevin Ryan]

I never got that.

[H. Foley]

Oh, don't fall asleep. He Went to bed and he never woke up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Please do me the favor. Will you quit breaking my balls banging.

[H. Foley]

Your head on the head post? You should do that. If I even got a little bit of a head thing, she'd come in there every 20 minutes and check on me. Scared the out of me.

[Kevin Ryan]

I do think you probably got a little bit of a head thing. You think something. Oh, something ain't right. I know that much.

[H. Foley]

What do you mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

What? Huh?

[H. Foley]

Something wrong with me?

[Kevin Ryan]

Something right?

[H. Foley]

Well, like a little cte.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't even know that. You're just a little scrambled eggs.

[H. Foley]

I got a couple of pops in me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh?

[H. Foley]

I remember I fell and hit my head really hard when I was playing wiffle ball one time. It was like a cut out basement door. And it must have been like an inside six feet. No, no, no. So next to the house. Good thing I have my pad and pen with me today. I drop my glasses.

[Kevin Ryan]

Add me to your hit list. Fucking psycho.

[H. Foley]

So like, here's the house. There's a door right here, but it goes down steps. And then there's like a little cutout thing, but it was flat again.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm more confused once you started drawing.

[H. Foley]

I don't understand.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's a little cutout thing?

[H. Foley]

Like it goes down. Like the steps go down.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

And like it's like a. Like. Like a little wall.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

You know what I'm saying?

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. Okay. Sounds like six feet, cut out thing. I don't know what that means. I got. I got it. I got a wall, a door. I got you with that.

[H. Foley]

I was going back for a pop fly and I was just running backwards like this and I went down and ba boom. There's like six feet. Hit my head really hard.

[Luke]

Like a storm seller.

[H. Foley]

No, not a store. I don't know how to. How do you not get. Was flat with the backyard, but went down. I gotcha. I got you to the basement.

[Kevin Ryan]

Kind of like.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that's right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Kind of like the back at Kevin McAllister's house. No. Okay, well then I don't know what you're talking about. That's a. That's flat with a set of stairs down to a door.

[H. Foley]

Is it? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I guess that would be. I'm picturing the trash can.

[Kevin Ryan]

I say up, you say down. I say left, you say right. What's your. What's your deal?

[H. Foley]

Can I see a picture of McAllister's house so I can get this?

[Kevin Ryan]

Just say yes and we can move on. This is so not pertinent. To any sort of thing. The audio listener can't see my cte. Listen. You got it. We don't, you know.

[H. Foley]

All right. Yes, I agree with what. Everything Patty Kevin said.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's see here. This is from Tom D. Is it garbage to buy food from the Goodwill? My wife bought a big bag of ut's party mix from there the other day. Ah. I. I've never been doing. I've been to a good amount of Goodwills. I've never been to, like, one I would trust eating food out of. I don't fully trust eating food out of, like, Marshalls and TJ Maxx, too.

[H. Foley]

I mean, if he's there. Because he's got to be jammed up. Yeah. What are you gonna do? I didn't know. Goodwill soul food.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't really think they're in the habit of it. What do you get for donating a bag of chips?

[H. Foley]

Is that what that is? A donation?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Everything from the Goodwill is a donation.

[H. Foley]

Well, I could. I don't really see a harm in that. First of all, it's Party Mitch is fantastic, and it lasts forever. And you could reuse that jar for something.

[Kevin Ryan]

It says bag jar. I get.

[H. Foley]

You know what I'm talking about. The big boy so good, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Getting an empty one of those. As a kid, sky was the limit change. You could fucking pee in there. Whatever.

[H. Foley]

Gas in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, whatever you wanted to do. I told you. We used to fill with rocks and play greased up watermelon in the pool, shout out to the Egans. I remember being like.

[H. Foley]

This is.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember at, like, 7 years old, I couldn't get it. I was, like, too young, was too heavy. But, like, big landscaping rocks in there, and everybody put Vaseline on themselves, and it sunk to the bottom, and only the older kids could get it up from the bottom. I remember getting, like, halfway up with it, and my brain. I started losing oxygen. My brain couldn't let go because I wanted to, you know, I wanted the points. I wanted to prove to the big kids I was part of the team. You know what I mean?

[H. Foley]

Plus, you thought the chips were still in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Everything with the pretzels, now we're on the other. Other side of this. I told you, I famously ate all the pretzels out of my.

[H. Foley]

I would love that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I ate all the pretzels out of it. And some guy might bleep that. Maybe somebody related to me. When did you eat all the pretzels out of. Dude, I was so. I wouldn't be like, you narc. The your problem. I don't even want to be at this house. They drugged me over here. I got a sweater vest on like.

[H. Foley]

A jerk off, fat little bastard.

[Kevin Ryan]

Calling everybody by their first name. This place sucks. What? They weren't really my. Oh, there was a couple of.

[H. Foley]

We had to call everybody by their last name. Unless they were last name. Yeah, yeah, like, hey, Jenkins.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean, Mr. Jenkins? Yeah, yeah, but this guy's related to me.

[H. Foley]

Is he related to you?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, but I met him when I was nine, so I ain't calling him fucking Uncle Randy.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, we didn't call.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, we smoking cigs at the time. I'm not getting a new uncle.

[H. Foley]

We didn't call uncle. We didn't call fake uncle's uncle. Unless they were related. What? Like my uncle Mike wasn't my. Wasn't. Wasn't my dad or mom's brother, but he was my Uncle Mike. But somebody on the fringes that weren't married. Like I would say Mr. Riley. I wouldn't say Uncle Dennis or something like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

You know, because that's weird because when I got transferred in catholic schools, we went from like having nuns to having teachers and calling them by their first name, like Miss Susie. I was like, what the kind of cult is this?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that's like youth pastor.

[H. Foley]

Next thing you know, this broads one of my seven wives. I don't think so.

[Kevin Ryan]

You get sister wife next. You know, I'm married to this guy. I was getting to see him on Wednesdays.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I didn't get that at all. Ms. Susie, Ms. Rachel. Oh, Ms. Rachel. What's it. What's she. What's her name?

[Luke]

Ms. Rachel.

[H. Foley]

Is it Ms. Rachel?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

See, I don't like that she kicks.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, with kids. Yeah, that makes sense.

[H. Foley]

What do you mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

If your last name's fucking, you know, Romanowski, I might be a mouthful for a toddler. You know what I mean? So it's hey, Miss Debbie, Miss Ashley again.

[H. Foley]

The kids got to learn.

[Kevin Ryan]

Miss Scare Kachuddly ain't going to. It's a bit of a ch. Tongue twister. You know what I mean?

[H. Foley]

Scatter moosh.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, you are.

[H. Foley]

I don't know what the hell I'm talking about today. I'm all off. I'm all screwballs.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm well aware.

[H. Foley]

Really going against the grain.

[Kevin Ryan]

Always got cte. All right, let's see here.

[H. Foley]

She makes a lot of cash, that broad.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who?

[H. Foley]

Miss Rachel, Not Miss Susie. I don't know what she's doing.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure, she Makes it. Honestly.

[H. Foley]

I assume she's moved on.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember I then saw. I then saw that guy later on.

[H. Foley]

But you went through one of those big oats things.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it was. They were like a weevil.

[H. Foley]

Look over your heads in it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like a hedgehog and a thing of oatmeal.

[H. Foley]

Baby, if you don't know these oats, party mix. They big.

[Kevin Ryan]

Big tubs.

[H. Foley]

Big tubs.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like a big tub of pretzels. Yeah, like that you would see like, you know, man, that was something else.

[H. Foley]

What you do. We're in a basket. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

They were in a bowl. It was Christmas. They were in a bowl. I'm sitting there in a fucking living room without a tv.

[H. Foley]

Like that same dickhead who called you out with the chocolate covered potato chips.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was Mr. B. Shout out to you. I don't know if you're picking up. I was a fat kid who likes snacks that were on a table. It was grazing season. Kippy. Kippy was there.

[H. Foley]

Woo. Coming in like. I heard a Chuck moving from Colorado to Arizona. The grass dry. Look at you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh God. Dude. Man. Well, you go to a place where like I was going to this family event at this extended family members. That wasn't really my family. They were married into my fat like, you know. Huh. So I'm there. The parents are doing that shit. I don't really have. I'm fucking eight years old. I don't have a relationship with any of these fucking people. So like, why not eat them at.

[H. Foley]

A house at home? I'll rue the day. Invited me over.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're also not there for dinner. We're there to like exchange gifts beforehand. So we're doing that for like two hours or something. Well then we're going to like my aunt. My actual answer, like, we're going to the Sullivan's.

[H. Foley]

Did they have dinner?

[Kevin Ryan]

They were have. We were just stopping by before, you know, like Christmas. You go, oh, we're going to. You know, whoever's going to stop by.

[H. Foley]

Usually do a little more than chips and pretzels though. People are stopping by something hot in a crock pot.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, maybe. Nah, they're not doing hot crock pot stuff. If people are stopping by for like a glass of wine and exchange gifts. We were there for an hour, two tops. And it was.

[H. Foley]

It was mainly chili dogs or something.

[Kevin Ryan]

This was a pretty nice town. I remember as a townhouse, I was on a golf course, which blew my mind. I was like, what are you, the groundskeeper who lives on it? I didn't understand. I remember being like you have to, like, go into the golf. Like, you have to go to the driving range to get, like. I didn't understand.

[H. Foley]

Hey, Caddyshack, which cooler has the sodas in it?

[Kevin Ryan]

I fight an Italian kid every day.

[H. Foley]

I got a second around here.

[Kevin Ryan]

But we were only there for, like, an hour, so I had to kill time. So, like, the parents are talking.

[H. Foley]

There's nothing worse than when parents.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm in, like, my church. Like, I'm in, like, Christmas clothes.

[H. Foley]

Itchy.

[Kevin Ryan]

And there's. I'm in a living room. She didn't have a TV in the living room. I'm just sitting there on a couch, like, looking at all this old. This. Only thing I did do is have a little nibble. You know what I mean? I'm only human, either.

[H. Foley]

I just started slapping it.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's no tv.

[H. Foley]

So you pick through all the pretzels.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. And then this came in. I didn't like him from Jump Street. His pants were too baggy back then. They were like, it's an adult. Yeah, he was too skinny and his pants were too bad.

[H. Foley]

Like, he corner you solo by yourself?

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, he was like. He started. I'm like, hey, get in. You know what I mean? Like, we get. While they're getting good these things. And he was like, did you eat all the pretzels out of here? And made me, like, shamed me about it. I'd be like, buddy, I didn't. I don't even like you sitting here. I'll tell my mom you touched me. I'll end this party real quick. Gay grandma is trying to grab my brajoli.

[H. Foley]

Let's go. We're going to Grandma's.

[Kevin Ryan]

I can rally the troops. Are going to Patty's house.

[H. Foley]

Hey, thanks for the Chia Pet lady. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

It'S like, going. But she also. It was the first time I've seen a letter opener. Said, who the opens mail. You do it like my dad and let it stack next to the fridge because they're all unpaid bills. This old broad whose house.

[H. Foley]

I always thought that was for rich people.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I didn't.

[H. Foley]

Eddie just. Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know, that's what it is. But then I later seen that guy, and I went to say hi to him in public, and he iced me at a young age.

[H. Foley]

Really? You fat little. You don't have pretzels?

[Kevin Ryan]

Told my mom I said, hey. I ran into so and so.

[H. Foley]

Where'd you see him?

[Kevin Ryan]

You know, in town. I was, like, skateboarding in town. Went up. Hey, what's up? Fucking turned his back and walked away from.

[H. Foley]

Really.

[Kevin Ryan]

There was some ongoing beefs that I was not aware of. Of. No, my mom. I don't know if you. I don't know if you. She did not like that.

[H. Foley]

Like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Still still held that close to the chest.

[H. Foley]

I like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, you don't say hi to my boy. Regardless of how many pretzels he's eaten, he's got a glandular problem. He's on steroids.

[H. Foley]

Glandular problems. You feel like your glands are sweating. Like when elephants do that.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

You ever see when elephants. Their glands, like, sweat, like rut or whatever?

[Kevin Ryan]

No. I remember that in the early 90s, like the fat was. I remember this one, this one family, they used to say, you got a glandular problem. I wanted to be like, think it's.

[H. Foley]

The hoagies kind of leaves hoagie.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was thinking, it's all the lunch meat.

[H. Foley]

Kids got a tasty cake problem.

[Kevin Ryan]

Same family used to. I just hit me the other day. I don't know if I ever told you. They used to call me Heavy Kevy. And the whole family, I remember being like, this is up. I mean, I like to break balls and all, but you're. You're a dad guy.

[H. Foley]

Wait, this guy turned his back on you? Who called you Heavy?

[Kevin Ryan]

Another family. I wasn't well liked.

[H. Foley]

Man, you stink. Heavy Kevy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Heavy Kevy. And maybe the one kid used to, like, dance. I want to be like, the am I doing at this house? This place sucks. My buddy's house, too. Invite me over. Whole family trip.

[H. Foley]

Orange juice, please. My glands are acting up.

[Kevin Ryan]

More birch beer? Ah. All right. Let's see here. This one's from Joey bag of donuts. $10 contributor to the XXXL Diaper Fun. Am I garbage if the only thing passed down to me when my dad passed away was his plumbing tools, A case of Bud Light, lime and Allagash. If you know, you know.

[H. Foley]

I know.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know. But I think it's the combination. Is that a thing? Maybe. And his debt, additionally. He was disorganized plumber and died suddenly. So I actually had a couple. I had to go to a couple of the jobs he was working on and chase down the folks for the cash owed. Respect to that. That is a very. That is a perfectly dirtbag inheritance. You get some debt, you get some tools, and you got to chase down a couple of the guys who were trying to skirt off a couple of beers.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that debt thing. How serious is that? You die. Who gets your debt? And do you really have to pay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Any of That I don't know, I thought, no, I'll just tell everybody to.

[H. Foley]

Be like, say you haven't talked to me in 10 years and we don't know each other.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. I mean, I don't think. I don't think credit card debt gets passed down. Maybe if they're like, I don't know, Luke, can you find out what kind of debt gets passed down?

[H. Foley]

They just eat that.

[Kevin Ryan]

If that's the case, I might give. Fuck. I'm not. I mean, I'm not taking fuck. I gotta talk to some people. I gotta protect myself.

[H. Foley]

What do you mean? What, from me?

[Kevin Ryan]

No. I have fucking bigger scumbags in my life than you. It's fucking. You're fucking. You're a preschooler compared to the dogs I roll with.

[Luke]

The deceased person's estate has to. To is responsible for paying the. The debts. You're only in trouble if you like, co sign the loans or connection.

[Kevin Ryan]

They can't really, like, they can't. If you're estranged from your mother and your mother has a million dollars in car loans that you're not signed to.

[H. Foley]

Sweet. I just want to make sure. I would assume the bag.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would assume the estate. If there's a net positive on the estate, like if there's a house owned, say there's a. You owe $500,000 to people and you have a $600,000 house, the estate is plus 100,000. So they have to sell all that stuff, pay the tax and like the estate is the, the people who inherit. Yeah, you can't. That's insane.

[Luke]

Yeah, it says like the higher priority debts get paid first. And usually what generally happens is credit cards or personal loans will go unpaid.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Suckers.

[Kevin Ryan]

My wife was telling me that in Germany you get.

[H. Foley]

You.

[Kevin Ryan]

You have to decide ahead of time whether you want to accept the. The inheritance. And it could be debt that you're responsible for. So you can see if you can look up that, like they contact you and go, do you want to accept this?

[H. Foley]

What do you mean? Like, say. Say I'm a. Say I'm a guy in Germany.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know somebody who's like a pretty big. Or somebody's dad who's like a pretty. He's like a businessman. But like really good years, really bad year. Like kind of like this spiking up and down, you know, had. The 80s were good, the 90s were bad. Kind of broken down, up, down, up, down. You know, crashed out a couple times back up. And they went to her and they were like, do you accept. You have to let us know whether you accept this inheritance. But it could be debt, and you have to accept the debt. So she was like, I'm not taking the chance. I'm not.

[H. Foley]

They don't tell you.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what she was saying.

[H. Foley]

I'd expect the grandfather who would be like, hey, don't worry, it's good.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know, but I don't think that's the case. I don't understand. That's not really something I can ask her about. I want to open up the books, see what's what. Yeah, Saw the house. It was a nice joint. Really, real nice joint. One of those old classic, like they got the walls and stuff. You know what I mean?

[H. Foley]

Could you be looking at some stuff like that property in Germany or something?

[Kevin Ryan]

No. They live in an apartment on the outskirts of Frankfurt.

[H. Foley]

Tough break.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you got, anything?

[Luke]

I don't see this thing where you don't know anything about it.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Luke]

It seems like the first heirs automatically inherit the deceased person's entire legal position, both assets and all debts.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that's what it is. So I think if you accept it, you're accepting. You got to find you're accepting the debt as well.

[Luke]

And you have a six week period to formally disclaim the inheritance.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes.

[H. Foley]

I don't know that motherfucker.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. I don't know. NATO?

[H. Foley]

Yeah. What, do they send fucking Interpol after you or something like that?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. Would you just watch the Bourne Supremacy or something? No, I am Treadstone. Jump over the table. Oh, man. What if they're.

[H. Foley]

What if you're the one?

[Kevin Ryan]

Black briar.

[H. Foley]

Treadstone?

[Kevin Ryan]

No. Is it black briar? No, that's a little too on the nose. Treadstone and black branch.

[H. Foley]

Or thought it was black briar.

[Luke]

Black briar?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, you tell me.

[H. Foley]

Treadstone was up. Probably still going on. How come he can't make another one of them?

[Kevin Ryan]

He's out, right?

[Luke]

They did.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, but he wasn't in it.

[Luke]

Let me see.

[H. Foley]

He did what they did. One with a rap.

[Kevin Ryan]

Pamela Landry. Landy. Is it Landy?

[H. Foley]

No, Landry.

[Kevin Ryan]

I just said Landry.

[H. Foley]

No, Landry is a fucking football player, isn't he?

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm sure there's Jim Landry. I'm sure there's more. I'm sure Jim has a family.

[H. Foley]

Pamela Landy was her name.

[Kevin Ryan]

It might be Landy.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

She's standing right next to you. Well, how am I gonna. How am I gonna do that? She's standing Right next to you. What? Man, I remember when that dropped.

[H. Foley]

Oh, shit was great.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's calling my mom.

[H. Foley]

He did that to me. He did that twice. He did it once to her and once to the fucking dude. He's like something, something, something.

[Kevin Ryan]

Brian Cox in that.

[H. Foley]

Brian Cox is in that?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. That guy's been the same age for 100 years.

[H. Foley]

Crazy. He's great, though.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

No, this is. This is the other guy. The guy that was in. The guy that was banging Carmelo Soprano. I can't remember his name. Great actor. But he's like. If you were in your office, you'd be having this conversation in person. That music starts playing. That's a Moby song. Okay, There's a Moby song.

[Luke]

2012, you had the Jeremy Renner, the Bourne Legacy. But then in 2016, they came back with the self titled Jason Bourne with Matt Damon.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Jumped the shark.

[H. Foley]

Say that Damon could be listening. I like.

[Kevin Ryan]

I like Affleck. They're two of my favorite actors of all time.

[H. Foley]

Very good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very good game. A little bit. I remember we were at my aunt Patty's house and Goodwill hunting was like all the rage, right? It was like took the world by storm. My uncle. My uncle Density.

[H. Foley]

What'd you eat all that time, all this eating?

[Kevin Ryan]

My uncle dad was not a fan. He's like, you know what I call that one? Goodwill sucking. What? Leveled the room, dude. Leveled the room. I remember, dude, people were falling out of their chairs. You didn't like it. The janitor is just the smartest guy in the world. He's a carpenter from Kensington. You think he's gone? Okay. All right. These okay? Yeah. Didn't buy it for a second. Two guys are too good looking to be working blue collar out of here. It's awesome. Two male models working at a foundry or whatever they were doing. Oh, God. All right, let's see here. This was. This is from bet Midler's understudy. Great name, ten, homie. Never had one.

[Luke]

Red.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is it trashy to buy a decommissioned emergency vehicle as an everyday driver? My uncle bought a cop car at a state auction and would get drunk and pull his friends over. That's a good time. That's awesome.

[H. Foley]

And yes, it is.

[Kevin Ryan]

Go through drive Drive thru spots that would offer police discounts. Trying to get a free meal. That might get you jammed up a little bit because you're representing police officer pulling your buddies over drunk. That's a good time. She's a different time, obviously.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. I'm surprised they still sell them with the lights with the lights on them. That's crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think they were. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I don't believe at an auction.

[Kevin Ryan]

If you ever I looked because I wanted us to go to a police auction. They're online now and you can just buy a bunch of cop shit for like pretty cheap. Like they just get rid of all their old stuff like cars, like anything.

[H. Foley]

You can't buy those tanks, can you?

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, I don't think so.

[H. Foley]

Hey. Pretty sweet zipping around one of those.

[Kevin Ryan]

Call the fucking USSR for one of those.

[H. Foley]

Bunch of Chinese bullets.

[Kevin Ryan]

Labeled them. Put them in a different container.

[H. Foley]

That was a different one for Cooper. Playing a bad guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very limited role in that. Yeah. Was probably they're shooting.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what I mean. Brought him in, huh? All right, let's see. This was from Sheets Run. Matt. What's up fellas? Ten dollar homie. Never had one red. Is it garbage? And when I got my very first job in high school, I spent my entire first paycheck on a brand new pair of Jo, how you doing? Only to realize I had no money left for the week. I immediately had to borrow 20 bucks from my dad just so I could afford to buy food for my shift that same day. At least I was looking fresh in the new kicks. Love you. That was all of my life up until this podcast.

[H. Foley]

And also the first blowing every paycheck.

[Kevin Ryan]

Two and a half years of this podcast, effectively.

[H. Foley]

I bought the cassette of the original Batman with Michael Keaton the day it went on sale at West Coast Video. I was probably eighth grade. Whenever that came out, maybe ninth. It was $100.

[Kevin Ryan]

Jesus. Was it like a box type thing.

[H. Foley]

Or just the thing. It was 100 bucks or like $99. And I wanted it so bad. My mom was just like, she's like, what are you, you're wasting your money on it. And it just kind of ruined it for me. And I remember when I got it and I was like, what the fuck did I do? I watched it once. You over there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now I have that. It's so funny. I, we, we gambled a lot. You know, poorly all through like high school because the, the poker boom had hit. And then we just were degenerates looking for a personality somewhat and had seen rounders. I remember I, I, I stopped at the Acme, picked up my check from being a cashier. I'll Never forget was $168 was my take home get you. Not bad for Oh, I think they were weekly.

[H. Foley]

Buy a lot of pretzels with that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm like caked up, you know, pack of heaters.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

We grab a six pack or something. 12, you know, me and somebody split a 12 something, you know, a couple of beers. Standard supplies for tonight. Probably out 20 bucks there. 20, 30 bucks. Probably had to overpay for. Sigs were 5, 6 bucks at the time. I gotta overpay for the booze, you know, whoever's. I'm, you know, juicing me. Shipping and handling, a little tax. And then I went to my buddy's house and we started gambling. And I lost every dollar in what felt like minutes. And the pit in my stomach, there's.

[H. Foley]

No chance of getting that back.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like, oh, they gotta put me on the sheet. Like, they're not gonna go, you know, Now I get. Now I gotta go into the red.

[H. Foley]

You ran with some criminals.

[Kevin Ryan]

I did. And I remember, like, I still feel whenever I lose money, like gambling, I still. I go back to sitting on his floor in his living room, like, watching that last card come out and be like, I have zero. Everything, it was. It's that feeling of, like, everything I just worked for all week, every day, Saturday, all Sunday, gone, gone, gone. Like, you idiot. And I think part of me still chases that. Like, I'm.

[H. Foley]

I like.

[Kevin Ryan]

I like. I like losing more than I like winning with you.

[H. Foley]

I'm with you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dog Bug Man Band, huh?

[H. Foley]

I'm with you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Worst summer ever. And on that note, we gotta roll out, baby. A little life lesson with the boys.

[H. Foley]

Gang, we love you to death. We'll see you next week.

[Kevin Ryan]

Peace.