Foley vs. The Italians! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Summary

Are You Garbage? — Foley vs. The Italians! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Hosts: Kevin Ryan (Kippy), H. Foley
Date: June 8, 2026

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Episode Overview

This "family episode" of Are You Garbage? features hosts H. Foley and Kevin Ryan (a.k.a. Kippy) catching up, reminiscing about their upbringings, and debating food etiquette, especially around Italian restaurants, seafood, and American trash culture. Throughout, they riff on local eateries, family dynamics, social customs, and answer fan-submitted “garbage” questions, all while skewering themselves and each other with sharp wit and Philly-NJ banter. No guest this time—just the boys, riffing and roasting.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Shrimp Rings and Seafood Shame

Timestamps: 03:00–13:00

• Foley admits he only recently understood what a "shrimp ring" is, setting off a debate on frozen vs. fresh shrimp.
• Hot vs. cold shrimp cocktail: Confusion between hosts about the proper serving temperature and how "hot shrimp cocktail" is just some "fun summer twist" (Kevin).
• The class divide in shrimp: Kevin labels shrimp as "the trashiest seafood" (04:00), but Foley maintains it felt “fancy” growing up dirt poor.
• Foley's story: Serving lobster to an Asian couple who ate the "mustard" (tomalley) and brains—he muses about seafood culture, calling big lobsters "old fuckers" and reminisces about restaurant days (07:00).
• Foley on shrimp at chain restaurants: “There must have been a surplus of shrimp from, like, 1995 to 2002, because they were everywhere. Popcorn shrimp. Everybody got them.” (11:02)
• Kippy recalls borrowing $40 from his mom at Bonefish Grill, then using it for cigarettes—classic Philly dirtbag move.

2. Italian Restaurant Loyalty (and Fear)

Timestamps: 12:00–19:30

• Intense discussion around Carlucci’s, a beloved local Italian joint: Foley mistakenly trashes their “Bada Bing Shrimp” as Thai-inspired, fearing he’ll get “whacked” by the Carlucci family.
• Jokes about mafia justice, family-owned businesses, and keeping good with the local Italians.
• Running gag: "I’m not trying to get a free meal, I’m trying to save my goddamn life." — Foley (15:33)
• Playful debate on what’s authentic Italian (sauces, sun-dried tomatoes, BYOB, root beer floats).
• “In another life, I could have been working for the Carlucci’s. Making root beer floats, drinking them.” — Foley (19:19)

3. Philly-Jersey Trash: Amusement Park T-Shirts and Packed Lunches

Timestamps: 25:33–26:56

• Is it “garbage” to wear Kingda Ka and El Toro roller coaster shirts as an adult?
• Kippy verdict: “You are a 100% bozo if you’re wearing that.” (25:45)
• Debate about buying overpriced merch at Six Flags and parents refusing to spend at theme parks (“We packed our lunch. Was that possible?”—Foley 26:23).

4. Restaurant Etiquette: Bringing Your Own Food

Timestamps: 27:11–29:04

• Can you bring your own food for dietary restrictions? (“I don't think that flies at Carlucci’s.”) (27:19)
• They discuss restaurant industry changes—more people split checks or make allergy adjustments now.

5. Michelin Stars, Zagat Guides, and the Classiness of Food Awards

Timestamps: 29:29–31:19

• Reasonable confusion about the Michelin Guide: “Was it the Michelin man?... How’d they become the authority?” (29:13)
• Also talk Zagat (and the classic SNL sketch), comparing New York/Philly attitudes towards fine-dining approval.

6. Shopping Cart Hacks: Trash or Genius?

Timestamps: 32:42–33:50

• Listener Stephen Clark sprays WD-40 on squeaky Walmart carts: Trash or hero?
• “You're a goddamn American genius, that's what you are.” — Kippy (32:55)
• Foley: “You sprayed a tire, get a little bit on the floor, some dumbass comes along, slips on WD40.” (33:23)

7. Classic Candles, Diffusers, and Making Your House Smell Less Like Trash

Timestamps: 57:28–64:13

• Is it “garbage” to put soap or dryer sheets in your underwear drawer? Yes, but it’s “fucking awesome.”
• Potpourri stories—childhood confusion (“I mistook [potpourri] for candy more times than not. Did not end well.” — Foley 58:04).
• Deep dive into Yankee Candle culture, expense, and whether they’re classy (“I would have to say the fact there’s that many flavors means they’re trashy.” — Kippy 62:39)
• “Rich people do…they put something on the stove, they throw cinnamon, lemon, some shit like that.” — Foley (59:10)
• Diffuser debate, with paranoia about parabens and “chemmie” scents (64:13).

8. Hustle Moves: Getting "Garbage" with Wedding Registries and Side Jobs

Timestamps: 53:57–56:14

• Listener asks: Is it garbage to register for home improvements (like a bathroom remodel) instead of gifts, hoping your uncle does it for free?
• “Anything anybody does on the registry that’s going to move them forward as a couple — I respect that.” — Foley (55:59)
• Both discuss their families' side work culture, “uncles who love to complain but still pitch in.”

9. Video Games: Console Wars and Parental Confusion

Timestamps: 47:25–53:42

• Parents calling all games “Nintendo,” even PlayStation and Sega.
• Console wars nostalgia with specifics on graphical power and exclusivity: “PlayStation was always more adult games…Nintendo was cartoon.” (49:05)
• Foley rants about “buying missiles” in modern mobile games: “I ain’t got time for that shit. I got my cash tied up.” (52:28)

10. Riffs on Borrowing Cash from Comedians if They Got in a Jam

Timestamps: 43:42–45:00

• Who would they call if they needed a quick $40k? Names tossed out: Andrew Schulz, Gilly, Mark the Shark, and Tommy Buns (Tom Segura).
• “I know two, three guys I can hit up right now that would say no.” — Foley (43:16)

11. Rapid Fire Fan Questions and Trashy Confessions

• Smoking cigs with your college professor before class (46:07).
• Candle ashing (62:00).
• Charging mileage as a contractor when actually working from home (64:39): “That goddamn Canadian hero. Talk about skimming the skim.” — Kippy (64:39)
• Childhood memories of potpourri, burning peanut butter sandwiches at ball games, and more.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “Shrimp is the trashiest seafood.” – Kevin James Ryan (04:00)
• “I’m not trying to get a free meal, I’m trying to save my goddamn life.” – H. Foley, debating Carlucci’s (15:33)
• “You're a goddamn American genius, that's what you are.” – Kevin (about WD-40 at Walmart, 32:55)
• “Anything anybody does on the registry that’s going to move them forward as a couple—I respect that.” – Foley (55:59)
• “We packed our lunch. Was that possible?” – Foley on his family at Six Flags (26:23)
• “In another life, I could have been working for the Carlucci’s. Making root beer floats, drinking them.” – Foley (19:19)
• “I know two, three guys I can hit up right now, that would say no.” – Foley, mulling financial crisis (43:16)

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Memorable Banter & Running Gags

• Carlucci’s whacking threat: Extended bit about offending the Carlucci family and “getting whacked” for disrespecting Italian food, mafia-style.
• Shrimp as class signifier: Both hosts find shrimp cocktail is “always the fanciest thing on a dirtbag menu,” a treat for “special occasions” in their families.
• Soap in the drawer, potpourri confusion: Childhood stories about trying to eat potpourri and “fancy” decorative soap.
• Yankee Candle Theory: The more varieties, the trashier it is.
• Borrowing money: Both would ask each other before bigger name comics, recognizing they’d likely get told “no” by the rest.
• College professor smoking: Nostalgia over teachers who smoked (and sometimes creeped on students).

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Overall Tone

Loose, rapid-fire Philly/Jersey banter with constant callbacks, bits about local food culture, and authentic, affectionate mockery of themselves, their families, and their fans. There’s affection for “trashy” traditions, a lot of self-deprecation, and comic storytelling rooted in working-class East Coast life.

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Final Thoughts

A classic "the boys" installment—no guest, but plenty of heat as Foley and Kippy dive into food, family, class, and the rituals that separate the “classy” from the “garbage.” If you crave comforting, roast-filled comedy mixed with authenticity and trash celebration, this episode delivers.

Host send-off:
“I love the both of you.” — Foley (65:42)
“We love you. What a fun one. Good old-fashioned family episode.” — Kippy (65:44–65:49)

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Dave Trolley]

New Jersey, Philadelphia, Delaware. You're heading down the shore this summer. Of course you are. July 10, the boys are going to be at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino. Come out for a little ayg live.

[Mike Kos]

Yes. And before that, we're going to be in Portland, Maine at Empire Comedy Club. Tickets going fast. Then we're going to be in Pittsburgh at the Pittsburgh Improv. And then hilarities in Cleveland, Ohio. Get your tickets. Are you garbage.com? stand up comedy. Play AYG with the crowd. It's a good, good time. We'll see you there.

[Dave Trolley]

Best summer ever. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is are you garbage?

[Mike Kos]

Oh, my dad.

[Dave Trolley]

It's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out if they grew up to be classy.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah.

[Dave Trolley]

Or if they're just a big old piece of trash.

[Mike Kos]

Trash, trash, trash.

[Dave Trolley]

I'm your host, Dave Trolley. Coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition. She just got a nose job.

[Mike Kos]

Okay.

[Dave Trolley]

Yeah. Made it bigger. I respect and you're more up there. Mike Kos is coming at you from across the table. This is what we call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos and the homies. Just the way we like it. Family friends, family togetherness, tightness. Having each other's back.

[Mike Kos]

Do you want to do this?

[Dave Trolley]

Sticking it out together. Bonus time here over at R U Garbage. Give it up for our good pal Kevin James Ryan.

[Mike Kos]

What up, gang? Shout out to you as always, please make sure you Rate subscribe on 10. Total video available on YouTube. Full video available though over there on Spotify. And the boys are climbing a mother friggin charts. Then obviously. Www.patreon.com. are you garbage? You go over there, you join them. I mean, listen, there's over 6 or about 16,000 paid subscribers depending on Regiment. Regiment. That's. Listen, the proof is in the pudding. How about that? If you think the bang ain't for you also, you join today, you get every. You get the last five years. All right, there's.

[Dave Trolley]

Plus the video of Tootie's nose job.

[Mike Kos]

Don't go promising stuff that we don't have.

[Dave Trolley]

Maybe I do.

[Mike Kos]

Okay. All right. Yeah. So check that out, gang. Yeah.

[Dave Trolley]

I thought you'd have a comment about me pouring my water.

[Mike Kos]

You want me to have a comment about you pouring your water?

[Dave Trolley]

I don't.

[Mike Kos]

I seen you. Someone look at me. I'm H. Foley. Look at me. Please look at me. Is this cool? Is this cool. And then no one does it. I thought you were gonna say something about me pouring my water. How old are you? 50?

[Dave Trolley]

I can flip my eyelids inside out. I wanted to ask you this before we get started. This is something quick.

[Mike Kos]

This is gonna stink. You just said it out there.

[Dave Trolley]

I'm done. Goddamn dramatic actor. Anyway.

[Mike Kos]

Crazy drama queen give you that ice queen.

[Dave Trolley]

Are you familiar?

[Mike Kos]

Nope. Thanks for stopping by.

[Dave Trolley]

Are you familiar with the term shrimp ring?

[Mike Kos]

Yeah.

[Dave Trolley]

Really? That's never come across my radar. Is that what that's called?

[Mike Kos]

What the.

[Dave Trolley]

When you get like the frozen shrimp?

[Mike Kos]

Yeah, frozen shrimp.

[Dave Trolley]

The frozen. When you get the frozen shrimp.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah, we were.

[Dave Trolley]

It's kind of a store bought thing.

[Mike Kos]

Not kind of. It's a store bought.

[Dave Trolley]

You're not getting that. Like you go to Captain Chucky's, you're not getting a. You're not. You're getting fucking fresh shrimp.

[Mike Kos]

Sure. Yeah.

[Dave Trolley]

It's not in that little thing that goes around. You don't think that's true?

[Mike Kos]

You don't think I. First of all, I never. I never said that. You asked. Do I know what it is?

[Dave Trolley]

Yeah. I never knew that.

[Mike Kos]

And I also, as a, you know, a man, you. You don't think I'd be able to put together what the two words shrimp ring were?

[Dave Trolley]

Took me about a week and a half. I don't know what they were talking shrimp.

[Mike Kos]

But once you figured out. You haven't looked back, have you, big dog?

[Dave Trolley]

I can't do shrimp like that.

[Mike Kos]

Okay.

[Dave Trolley]

I like fresh shrimp.

[Mike Kos]

Okay.

[Dave Trolley]

Cocktail?

[Mike Kos]

Sure. Yeah.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Shrimp is the trashiest seafood.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah. They're like bugs.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dave Trolley]

No, they're not. A shrimp ring's trashy. Go to the store, you get shrimp ring. You're trash.

[Kevin James Ryan]

I would argue all shrimp is trash.

[Dave Trolley]

You're fucking nuts.

[Mike Kos]

I don't know. It was always fancy to me, but I come from dirty, dirty people to him. We used to make it. My stepdad, the recipe died with him. He wasn't able to pass it down.

[Dave Trolley]

Really?

[Kevin James Ryan]

Yeah.

[Mike Kos]

What he made, he was supposed to tell Nadine. I don't know, someone. A lot of Coors Light in it.

[Dave Trolley]

I swear to God.

[Mike Kos]

It was like this brown. A jus. This brown liquid. Like bay water.

[Dave Trolley]

Yeah.

[Mike Kos]

Huh.

[Dave Trolley]

And how would he serve the shrimp, you mean? Oh, there was no shrimp involved.

[Mike Kos]

He'd lay down, take his clothes off and put them on top. No. Yeah, they would just be like on a platter, maybe in a ring shape. A cocktail sauce.

[Dave Trolley]

So it was a dip?

[Mike Kos]

Yeah, it was like an a jus type liquid. Not a Jus for hot shrimp or cold shrimp? I think they were hot shrimp.

[Dave Trolley]

Hot shrimp.

[Mike Kos]

I don't know.

[Dave Trolley]

That's weird. Hot shrimp cocktail.

[Mike Kos]

What? Well, shrimp cocktail means it's cold, so it wouldn't be hot, right?

[Dave Trolley]

No.

[Mike Kos]

Yes, Maybe.

[Dave Trolley]

No.

[Mike Kos]

Right.

[Dave Trolley]

Cocktail means cold shrimp.

[Mike Kos]

So he definite. I mean, there's a crab cocktail is in cold shrimp cocktail crab.

[Dave Trolley]

Yes, it is.

[Mike Kos]

It's cold. Cocktail means cold when in. In. That is what I say. Yes. You said it means cold shrimp.

[Dave Trolley]

Well, in that vernacular, sure.

[Mike Kos]

Systematically, nomadically crustacean.

[Dave Trolley]

Ali, you got something on.

[Mike Kos]

This is it.

[Kevin James Ryan]

You guys are right. But there is hot shrimp cocktail. It's a fun twist. Fun summer twist on.

[Dave Trolley]

Shut the fuck out of here. Shut up with the fun. I don't. Not you personally, but the fun summer twist. Shut up.

[Mike Kos]

Can anybody have fun?

[Dave Trolley]

No.

[Mike Kos]

Jesus Christ. Just because you're a boar doesn't mean everybody else can't have out there. Fucking let loose a little bit, have some hot shrimp, stick in the mud.

[Kevin James Ryan]

It's famously championed by a hero of

[Dave Trolley]

yours, Anthony Bourdain, in the Gardner. Man, where the was she when. I would have never kept her happy. That guy's got cash.

[Mike Kos]

Jeremy, you can't keep Luke happy. What are you talking about? He's your employee. You're not even married to him. You're not keeping a lot of people.

[Dave Trolley]

I keep him happy. Checks. He coming in? This one's late.

[Mike Kos]

But listen, I love the not looking up like a dog who just got caught going through the garbage.

[Dave Trolley]

Pick him the food. Right.

[Mike Kos]

Things are gonna.

[Dave Trolley]

I don't understand this. So hot shrimp around this brown sauce.

[Mike Kos]

I don't know if it's hot. I don't think they're cold, though. It's not chilled. Maybe the room temp shrimp cooked. They're cooked shrimp.

[Dave Trolley]

Are they deveined?

[Mike Kos]

I think so.

[Dave Trolley]

You know, it doesn't really bother me.

[Mike Kos]

Mm. The poop.

[Dave Trolley]

Whatever that is. A little flavor.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah. I don't think it's protein.

[Dave Trolley]

I wouldn't mind going to that place out in San Francisco. It's called, like, Swan Seafood Shop or Sam Seafood Shop. That's what's a Bourdain spot. He eats the. Heats the. He eats the brains of the crab in the. In the crab shell.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Swan. Oyster Depot.

[Mike Kos]

Yes.

[Dave Trolley]

They got a dish out there where you're just eating a brain. First time I saw that was an Asian couple that came into Devon and I was working there. They ordered this lobster. Had been there since I started working there. This thing was like six pounds. Called them Bubba, he was not six, but he's a monster. And they say once you get it past like two, that's an old fucker and you don't want to be eating it. You want to keep lobster about one and a quarter pound, two pound, maybe three. A couple. They crack this fucker open and they fucking turned the head upside down the body, and they fucking put like the mustard stuff in there.

[Mike Kos]

What were they in the kitchen and they were eating it?

[Dave Trolley]

No, they did it all at the table.

[Mike Kos]

They did it.

[Dave Trolley]

They did it.

[Mike Kos]

What, they get in the tank?

[Dave Trolley]

No, I cooked it. The chef cook it. That's the one they wanted. Like, give me that one. It was just.

[Mike Kos]

I don't like your insertion of you into this. I. You had the chef.

[Dave Trolley]

I waited on them like.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah, you waited on him. You didn't.

[Dave Trolley]

I sold him, Bubba.

[Mike Kos]

You didn't go like, listen, like. You know a guy in the back, he fired up.

[Dave Trolley]

I sold him.

[Mike Kos]

I had the chef cooking.

[Dave Trolley]

They said, what's the biggest lobster you got? I said, it's about four or five pounds. It's a big dog.

[Mike Kos]

My underwear.

[Dave Trolley]

Why would I have lobster in my underwear, huh? You're being stupid now. Crab, Sure.

[Mike Kos]

I don't think I've ever laughed like that. That's crazy. I just pictured you waiting tables with a big. I don't know if it was your dick or your. Or poop, I don't know, but it was a big lobster, claws sticking out. That's how you get your tricks.

[Dave Trolley]

I had a weird dream with you in it last night.

[Mike Kos]

I don't want to hear it.

[Dave Trolley]

I didn't say I was going to tell you.

[Mike Kos]

It's a weird. You want to tell me so bad. I don't know what you've. You've told me a lot of dreams and I'm well documented. I don't ever want to hear anybody's dream stories. You turn the volume up on that water a little bit.

[Dave Trolley]

I didn't want to drink it out of the thing. This isn't performative.

[Mike Kos]

Luke Kidney. You're really looking for a personality guy.

[Dave Trolley]

I resent that. Keep saying that. Second show you said that. I'm looking for a pro. I got a fucking personality. Ponytail guy right now.

[Mike Kos]

Okay?

[Dave Trolley]

You don't like shrimp. That's crazy.

[Kevin James Ryan]

I don't like shrimp. But it is. It's always. Dirt bags are always like shrimp cocktail.

[Mike Kos]

Fancy thing in life. That growing up to me.

[Dave Trolley]

Yes. That shrimp. Expensive. That was the guys like us.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Always the most expensive thing at dirtbag menus.

[Mike Kos]

That's He's. That. That's a good. From a kid from his world. That makes sense to us. It is classy. How to. Got the shrimp. Joe's doing his shrimp.

[Dave Trolley]

Try to get one out of your dad. It was like fucking. Trying to get a kidney from him.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Only.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah.

[Dave Trolley]

I mean, we.

[Mike Kos]

I. Well, Doc, I'm a. I'm crab.

[Dave Trolley]

I'll give you three.

[Mike Kos]

We never ordered it out. Maybe if we were do.

[Dave Trolley]

Very special occasion. Yeah.

[Mike Kos]

No, I don't know. I mean, Applebee's doesn't. Didn't. Oh. Maybe my stepdad would get. I picture him like a surf and turf.

[Dave Trolley]

Oh, those are the trash.

[Mike Kos]

Shrimp and chicken.

[Dave Trolley]

Those shrimp suck.

[Mike Kos]

I remember being on a hot skillet and him being, like, picking his teeth with a toothpick.

[Dave Trolley]

The long toothpick that they give you.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah.

[Dave Trolley]

You guys fill them in water, there'd

[Mike Kos]

be like, four shrimp on it.

[Dave Trolley]

Yeah. They sucked.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah.

[Dave Trolley]

They were the worst shrimp ever.

[Mike Kos]

Look like little sand crabs. Ain't no meat on that thing. It's all pale. Nobody got to them things before they came out. They got bite out.

[Dave Trolley]

Squirrels were eating. Yeah.

[Mike Kos]

No, we were never. I don't think my mom really liked them growing up. And he would get it. Like, at Applebee's. That would be the time we saw them. Whatever they. Whatever special they were running. You know what I mean? I'll do it.

[Dave Trolley]

A Jack Daniel steak.

[Mike Kos]

Jack. Yeah.

[Dave Trolley]

With shrimp.

[Mike Kos]

A baked potato.

[Dave Trolley]

There must have been a surplus of shrimp from, like, 1995 to 2002, because they were everywhere. Popcorn shrimp. Everybody got them.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah.

[Dave Trolley]

They were throwing them at you for free.

[Mike Kos]

Well, I think that was trashy. People thought, you can go there and get cheap shrimp.

[Dave Trolley]

Go with a bonefish grill.

[Mike Kos]

That was.

[Dave Trolley]

I remember.

[Mike Kos]

I remember I met my mom there one time. She was eating. I had to borrow money off her, and she ran. I. I pulled up. It was in, like, Doylestown. It was, like, far from where. Like, what a loser.

[Dave Trolley]

Yeah.

[Mike Kos]

I drove up to get.

[Dave Trolley]

Like, she didn't make you come to the table? Table. Like the three wise men.

[Mike Kos]

He's just embarrassed. I was like, her and her friends from work.

[Dave Trolley]

How much you have to get off her?

[Mike Kos]

Not. And, like, I burned half in gas getting there. 40 bucks.

[Dave Trolley]

You probably went right to Wawa and bought a pack of heaters.

[Mike Kos]

For sure, dude. I'm driving all the way up to.

[Dave Trolley]

I get 40. Probably was. 40 bucks.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah. Yeah. 40 bucks.

[Dave Trolley]

Getting a shrimp cocktail with that. Probably embarrassed.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah. Now. But then we're going to Banfish Grill. Karabis you watch your mouth. Oh, what is. There's this one where we grew up. It's the perfect Philly Millers. No, we are the Millers.

[Dave Trolley]

Which, by the way, very underrated movie.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Great film.

[Dave Trolley]

Great.

[Kevin James Ryan]

I love that time.

[Dave Trolley]

I'm a Sudeikis man. Arnett can kick rocks.

[Kevin James Ryan]

I'm suit on today. I love him.

[Dave Trolley]

And not that Ted Lasso show. I love that Ted Lasso now, but Sudeikis.

[Mike Kos]

This one. Carlucci's Grill. We're going over to Carlucci's. She'd hit me with that one.

[Dave Trolley]

Dude, they do garlic on the breadsticks.

[Mike Kos]

Let's get the dinner.

[Dave Trolley]

Real garlic.

[Mike Kos]

Let's get the dinner menu there. You get the muscle. Carlucci.

[Dave Trolley]

What is that?

[Mike Kos]

Sauteed with garlic olive oil.

[Dave Trolley]

Picking the fifth. Comes with a tip.

[Mike Kos]

Fried or spicy calamari. Buffalo chicken tenders. That's on the appetizer. Buffalo calamari also was another. This was another big name growing up for.

[Dave Trolley]

Not

[Mike Kos]

Sopranos. On the Bada Bing shrimp. Get the Bada Bing chicken.

[Dave Trolley]

But it was completely different from. It was like Asian wasn't. Bada Bing shrimp.

[Mike Kos]

No. What the fuck? You bite of your tongue.

[Dave Trolley]

I was sorry. And no Carlucci's. I totally remember.

[Mike Kos]

Mr. Mrs. Carlucci, I'd like to apologize and have it be the H. Foley Industries.

[Dave Trolley]

I thought it was.

[Kevin James Ryan]

It's a Thai chili sauce base.

[Dave Trolley]

Boom bottom and fuck Carlucci.

[Mike Kos]

That's crazy.

[Dave Trolley]

Yeah, that's. That's. I'm doing it right now.

[Mike Kos]

Nah, you gotta beep that.

[Dave Trolley]

I'm sorry, Mr. Ms. Carlucci. I mean, in disrespect.

[Mike Kos]

Well, they obviously.

[Dave Trolley]

Who owns Carlucci's? Probably Burger King or something like that. No, this is a. Oh, it was a single family. It wasn't a chain. No, you fucking asshole. You gonna get me fucking whacked. You said Bonefish Grill.

[Mike Kos]

Oh, you said. Hey, Bonehead.

[Dave Trolley]

No, no, no, no. First of all, whoever the fuck owns Bonefish Grill, come get some. All right? I live at 235 Bunker Hill Road. Stop by any time.

[Mike Kos]

Someone's been watching the town, it's on doobie.

[Dave Trolley]

But I didn't know Carlo. I didn't know Carlucci's was a fucking local spot.

[Mike Kos]

I thought it was a chain from our family.

[Dave Trolley]

You gotta beep that. I'm almost back. I'm not getting whacked now.

[Mike Kos]

These guys don't play.

[Dave Trolley]

Yeah, no shit, dickhead. You fucking set me up.

[Mike Kos]

I didn't know you did. You're the only guy.

[Dave Trolley]

You mentioned Carrabba's, which is owned By Taco Bell. Then you fucking sneak. Carlucci's in there, get me talking shit about Bada Bing shrimp. And now all sudden fucking running your yap again.

[Mike Kos]

That's what you do. Jackie Jr. You are. Fuck this. Let's go to. Let's go to Carlucci. I'm a Carlucci's man.

[Dave Trolley]

Are you gonna find me bag of trash up in Boonton?

[Mike Kos]

I believe it's in Yardley, Pennsylvania. Shout out to Carlucci's right there, right? It used to be right next to Kohl's. My mom would take me back to school shopping at Kohl's and we hit Carlucci's. Or maybe we go to Dick's sporting Goods, then hit Carlucci's.

[Dave Trolley]

Mr. Mrs. Carlucci, that was directed towards Kevin and his argument that Bada Bing shrimp wasn't a Thai chili sauce. I don't know how you guys serve it at your place, which I'd love

[Mike Kos]

to come by as a guest. Nope.

[Dave Trolley]

I apologize.

[Mike Kos]

Look, you're trying to get a free meal out of.

[Dave Trolley]

I'm not trying to get a free meal. I'm trying to save my goddamn life. That's all I need now.

[Mike Kos]

It's a creamy spicy sauce. They say nothing about Thai or Thailand or the good people of the Far East. We're talking about creamy spicy Italian sauce,

[Dave Trolley]

but commonly the Bada Bing sauce.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Thai chili base with sriracha.

[Dave Trolley]

Yes. Or a stripper with braces. Shout out to Tracy, God rest her soul. You know what I'm talking about? Uh huh.

[Mike Kos]

Ooh, the chimp and shrimp.

[Dave Trolley]

Excuse me? Chimp and shrimp.

[Mike Kos]

The chicken.

[Dave Trolley]

Chimp and shrimp.

[Mike Kos]

These are monkey steaks. Chicken and shrimp. Stephanie grilled chicken strips, jumbo shrimp sauteed with bacon. Asparagus, sun dried tomatoes in a vodka sauce topped with penne pasta.

[Dave Trolley]

That's probably their daughter. A beautiful daughter.

[Mike Kos]

They got a good. I gotta go here.

[Dave Trolley]

Next time you do a sun dried tomato, I figured you'd stay clear of that.

[Mike Kos]

They're okay. That might raisin. Yeah, I like them.

[Dave Trolley]

I like you.

[Mike Kos]

I don't like that. I don't. Yeah, no, I like them.

[Dave Trolley]

So it feels like skin sometimes.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah, sometimes you get a wet one or something. Like a tongue. Like I'm tongue kissing something. I don't know. I've never tongue kissed anybody.

[Dave Trolley]

Have you?

[Kevin James Ryan]

What?

[Dave Trolley]

I can't imagine you kissing.

[Mike Kos]

You say this all the time. And the amount that you've said it makes me think you picture it a lot. Bring it up and then Bada Bing shrimp breath.

[Dave Trolley]

You ever have Thai chili?

[Mike Kos]

No. I'm a goddamn patriot. Shout out to Carlucci's.

[Dave Trolley]

Find out who owns Carlucci's, please.

[Mike Kos]

I know it's all it's about. It's on the website.

[Dave Trolley]

Is it the Carlucci family?

[Mike Kos]

It's an Italian family.

[Dave Trolley]

I see you beep that. We can't be talking shit about a nice fucking family owned restaurant. I didn't.

[Mike Kos]

I didn't talk anything.

[Dave Trolley]

You let me hang out there, Luke,

[Kevin James Ryan]

I'm gonna have to put you down like Jackie Jr. And run in your mouth.

[Dave Trolley]

You're not gonna do it. Shit, you'd have the nerve to put a gun to the back of my head and pull the trigger. Better not, miss. Please don't.

[Mike Kos]

Please don't. I need this. I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to take Denise out there from dinner, smooth things over with the family.

[Dave Trolley]

What you got? Beef. Oh, you're gonna go out there, represent me?

[Mike Kos]

Not representing you.

[Dave Trolley]

Throwing on drugs. Went down to Miami. I was doing a lot of coke.

[Mike Kos]

Sure.

[Dave Trolley]

That was Ralphie's story. Worked for him for a little bit.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Gotta whack this Foley character on his belt now. Too long.

[Dave Trolley]

What if. What if Carlucci came to you and was like, listen, either you take him out or we take you out.

[Mike Kos]

I say, hey, give it six weeks. He'd probably do it to himself.

[Dave Trolley]

You would do. No, I'm not walking every day, not telling anybody.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah, to the bridge.

[Dave Trolley]

Would you? You'd do the honorable thing.

[Mike Kos]

What's the honorable thing?

[Dave Trolley]

You'd take the bullet for me?

[Mike Kos]

Yeah, that's what I would do. Like I already have arrows in my back.

[Dave Trolley]

You wouldn't. You would do that if they came to you.

[Mike Kos]

I'd have to take the knife out of my back that you put there

[Dave Trolley]

and try to take the knife out of your hand.

[Mike Kos]

And try to defend myself against you.

[Dave Trolley]

You're dripped out in diamonds and jewels.

[Mike Kos]

What are you talk against the Carlucci's.

[Dave Trolley]

We'd lose. I wonder if they got a tour Italy. They got a tour Italy over there.

[Mike Kos]

I don't know. It's a little.

[Dave Trolley]

Maybe I got scoochy to back me up.

[Mike Kos]

There you go. Those guys don't fight clean either. The scoochies, I presume.

[Dave Trolley]

Shout out to Scooji. Get to tor Italy if you're going over there. And that peanut butter pie, it's delicious. I see Carlucci's. I'm joking around.

[Mike Kos]

I'm gonna have to take Denise over there. I have a sit down. I'll sit him down. They do. They do booze over there.

[Dave Trolley]

Maybe it's byob.

[Kevin James Ryan]

They got a root beer float.

[Dave Trolley]

Fuck. Now I'm really pissed.

[Mike Kos]

You up, guy. You're running your mouth.

[Dave Trolley]

In another life, I could have been working for the Carlucci's. Making root beer floats, drinking them.

[Mike Kos]

They got a Carlucci's food truck now available for off premise events.

[Dave Trolley]

Hire them, get them over here, whatever it costs.

[Mike Kos]

Next Philly show. Get them over here. Next Philly show. I've brought the sponsor by Carlo. Whatever. Yes, Carlucci's. Baby showers, bridal showers, birthday dinner or any special occasion like your best friend and partner's funeral. Have the beef and beer.

[Dave Trolley]

There'd be up. They whack me and you gotta have.

[Mike Kos]

I gotta have it there. Hey, we'll give you 10% off, huh? Your friend was a jerk off.

[Dave Trolley]

No, I had nothing to do with that.

[Mike Kos]

I. We know. I'm. We're having fun. Shout out to the. I. I brought it up because I knew you would love it. You were. You were trying to disagree with me and trash me and Bonefish Grill. Yeah, I got you. We got you. Relax, man. Again, I had to save your keister.

[Dave Trolley]

I'll run. I'll run. I'll go straight to Sicily. I don't know. We'll find me over there.

[Mike Kos]

You think they don't know about anybody over there?

[Dave Trolley]

Thought I got Apollonia.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah, I'd be starting a car t. Hobby. I'll be over there teaching you how to drive. Kaboom.

[Dave Trolley]

Did we just get married? Took my virginity.

[Mike Kos]

What? Creep. See, he always say you always bringing his.

[Dave Trolley]

They were a couple.

[Mike Kos]

You wish to kiss me and I got all that bada Bing shrimp breath going on.

[Dave Trolley]

Gang, let's talk Pesty, pesty, pesty, pesty. Now Kippy's the pesty king.

[Mike Kos]

Who you doing?

[Dave Trolley]

This guy. This guy's. This guy's a client. Listen, nobody likes bugs around the house. Listen, it's summertime.

[Mike Kos]

Nobody wants creepy crawlers ruining a party.

[Dave Trolley]

And that's taken from the bug man. Nobody wants them around. Also too. You got kids, you got pets. What are you going to do? What's the answer? You got kids and you got pets and you want bugs in your house. Kippy straighten them out.

[Mike Kos]

Yes. First of all, Pesti is kid and pet friendly. The pest, the pesticides they ship are fully registered and have been used in hospitals and schools all over the country. Pesi offers a 100% bug free guarantee or your money back. Pesty gets rid of over 100 types of bugs from spiders and ants to roaches in Scorpion. I've said if you got scorpions, you got bigger problems. Okay? You better put a for sale sign in front of your house.

[Dave Trolley]

They take care of scorpions. Do pesty.

[Mike Kos]

Listen. It's also very easy. They ship it. You mix it up yourself. I do it. You put your little. Little hose sprayer on. You go around the house. You do the two foot sweeps. It's got a little hummer battery on it. I do the house twice. Do a double dose. Get him out of here. Keep it going. I think it's like, I don't. Family man completed in less than 10 minutes. I think it's like everything's. You're ready within an hour to get going back on the thing. How you doing? Out the door. So what are you waiting for? Fix your bug problem before it gets worse. Go to pesi.com ayg for an extra 10% off your order today. That's pesty. P E s t I e.com ayg for an extra 10%.

[Dave Trolley]

Do it, gang.

[Mike Kos]

We're talking aura frames or a frame or a frame. Or a frame.

[Dave Trolley]

That's right, Kippy. You know them. You love them. Aura frames. The best gift that you can give your aunts, your uncles, your mom, your dad, your dad's pie, Father's Day. Yes, Kippy, listen, I'm getting you an aura frame.

[Mike Kos]

Thank you. And if my wife was worth her wait, she'd also throw me an OR frame, and I'd respect that. I have them.

[Dave Trolley]

One for the office. Bo. One for the house. Listen, my dad's dead. I can't get him an aura frame. But, you know, my mom would appreciate pictures of my dad. That's why she's got an OR frame. And I upload pictures of my old man all the time.

[Mike Kos]

Yes.

[Dave Trolley]

I don't know who's running around in that house down here, but they see the old man, they know they got a lot of. They got. They got some heat to follow.

[Mike Kos]

Sure, guys. We've said it once. You said it a million times. OR frames are a great gift for anybody. Specifically, your dad. I follow. Daisy. I don't talk to my dad. But if I did, maybe I can bury the hatchet with a nice OR frame. If anything can do it, it's that. And I take that to the bank. You get free unlimited storage for all your pictures. You can preload photos before it ships. You can personalize your gift. You add a message before it arrives. The gift box is included. You share your photos and videos effortlessly through the app. But a Bing Bada Boom. The top rated app reach number one in the App Store on Christmas Day in 2025. Because they're moving freaking units. Moving numbers don't lie. Name number one by wire cutter. You can now save by visiting or frames.com for a limited time. Listeners can get 35 off their bestselling carver mat frame with the code garbage. That's Aura. Aura frames.com promo code garbage. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions. Conditions applied to it. Yeah. All right, listen. We got a. Guys start a family episode on our

[Dave Trolley]

hands and we got some business here.

[Mike Kos]

We got to talk. We get. We guys, as you know, when you join the Patreon, we're gonna answer your garbage questions on the air.

[Dave Trolley]

What am I talking. I got 16,000 guns on the street. What am I worried about? You don't think the homies got nickel?

[Mike Kos]

You don't think the homies like a nice Italian dish? Italian dish?

[Dave Trolley]

Come on, you're panicking. I'll go to the fucking mattresses.

[Mike Kos]

Take a nap, Helix.

[Dave Trolley]

I can't sleep on anything else.

[Mike Kos]

All right, listen. All jokes aside here, we're having fun. Shout out Carlucci's.

[Dave Trolley]

I don't like this. What, you crack your seltzer now? I should have waited.

[Mike Kos]

You're such a psycho.

[Dave Trolley]

I don't like that.

[Mike Kos]

I don't. What?

[Dave Trolley]

You do it at the cool time, dude.

[Mike Kos]

Everything to you is like a personal affront and or attack.

[Dave Trolley]

Shark Seltzer me, please. Lime Sharky.

[Mike Kos]

Be beams one through the takes you right in the head. And he looks over and he wipes his hand. He goes, that's from the Carlucci.

[Dave Trolley]

I come up. I'm speaking in the Chinese accent like that lady by the bacon.

[Mike Kos]

I listen, all jokes aside, this is a great. What a transition this is from Big Z to the sauce monkey.

[Dave Trolley]

Shout out to him.

[Mike Kos]

Long term investor. That's what hist call Italian sauce. Monkeys shout out to the boys. Is it garbage if you wear clothing from an amusement park? Roller coasters. My adult age friend has a Kingda Ka and El Toro shirt in his normal wardrobe rotation.

[Dave Trolley]

You are Kingda Khan, isn't it?

[Mike Kos]

He wrote Kingda Ka.

[Dave Trolley]

I think it's Ka King Snake, right?

[Mike Kos]

I thought it was a monkey.

[Dave Trolley]

I don't know. Something that's bad. This is great adventure. Sure. They played it fast and loose.

[Mike Kos]

You are a 100 bozo if you're wearing that. That you gotta be.

[Dave Trolley]

What if you're in a band? A cool like alt band.

[Mike Kos]

I'll give you that. If you're wearing it ironically.

[Dave Trolley]

Julian Casablanca from the Strokes war. It'd be pretty cool.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah, well, if once you're a rock star, I'll, you know, you make some. Cover it up.

[Dave Trolley]

I'm not wearing.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah, that's a. Yeah, it's trash. Also to spend your money on that. They're probably. What do you think it. What do you think a merchandise T

[Dave Trolley]

shirt goes for over at Great Adventure? Hey, bang out.

[Mike Kos]

That ain't. That ain't target prices.

[Dave Trolley]

My dad wouldn't buy anything over there. I feel like we packed our lunch. Was that possible?

[Mike Kos]

I think so, yeah.

[Dave Trolley]

That we brought food in.

[Mike Kos]

I was just somewhere where that would. They did that. Where it was like, you can. I was shocked that you could.

[Dave Trolley]

I think you could. Can you bring food into a baseball stadium?

[Mike Kos]

Yeah, probably, like, sandwiches and stuff, right? I can eat a peanut butter sandwich. Guy next to me got a plate of nachos. I'm sitting there looking like a dickhead.

[Dave Trolley]

Peanut butter sandwich. Peanut butter and jelly. Watching the game.

[Mike Kos]

That stinks. Mouth fucking dry as like, a goat out in the fucking bleachers. No, thanks.

[Dave Trolley]

Fucking burning hot summer day.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah.

[Dave Trolley]

Peanut butter's melting everywhere.

[Mike Kos]

All oily. Where I was just somewhere where I'm like, oh, you won't be able. They're like, oh, no, you're allowed to bring that stuff in. Where. I was shocked. I'm not gonna recall.

[Dave Trolley]

How do you feel about people that bring food into a restaurant if they have, like, dietary restrictions? Like. No, I'm okay. I actually brought something.

[Mike Kos]

I don't think that flies. A Carlucci. Oh, it's the nod. I. Yeah, no, I mean, I would say. I have a friend who has pretty strict dietary stuff. She.

[Dave Trolley]

Okay.

[Mike Kos]

And you can always find something on the menu. Something. Whether. I'll just do the salad. Does this salad come with whatever can. All right, I'll just lose that. And can you just do that with grilled chicken? Like, there's a way to negotiate around it. I don't. I don't have the nerve, my boy. Does that bring stuff in?

[Dave Trolley]

No, he did for a minute.

[Mike Kos]

What does that look like? And not even him specific. How what does. I don't know what that looks like.

[Dave Trolley]

It was like a soup. It was like a butternut squash soup.

[Mike Kos]

I got my own soup.

[Dave Trolley]

Yeah, he was, like, on a really strict thing, but he would order something too. He would say, listen, unfortunately, they would call ahead, do all that stuff. But he'd order. He'd order grilled chicken, but then he would have, like, requests like, you can't cook it in butter. Don't do this. Don't.

[Mike Kos]

It's a lot of stuff a lot of guys do that.

[Dave Trolley]

Those kitchen guys would be such fucking pricks about that. What? Like, I was ordering it. Yeah, they hate it. Let's make the fucking chicken.

[Mike Kos]

I feel like it's probably now with his custom, like, you're also. All your war stories are from a different time in waiting tables now. Like, I mean, you used to hate when people would like, hey, can we split this between two cards? Now it's like, that's just, hey, what'd you have? You had the coke and like that. It's. Things are significantly different. I think more people are requesting that. The. No butter or no whatever. What do you cook it in?

[Dave Trolley]

Not. Not at those. Not at, like, a chef restaurant. You couldn't do that on the Bear, I don't think. Tell you to beat it. Right?

[Kevin James Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dave Trolley]

No substitutions.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Yeah. I mean, if it's like, Michelin, I think.

[Dave Trolley]

Yeah.

[Kevin James Ryan]

You're not allowed.

[Dave Trolley]

Michelin, Michelle.

[Mike Kos]

But why? Wait, was. I gotta ask. Was it the Michelin man? Was it.

[Dave Trolley]

They become the authority.

[Mike Kos]

I know. Do you want to know or do you know before they would go around my wife. Text me. Can you text me? Can you call me when you're done recording? Like, I need that right now, lady.

[Dave Trolley]

Call her up.

[Mike Kos]

What's this I hear you bringing food into a restaurant run. No, I just. I was like, is everything okay? Like, you can't.

[Dave Trolley]

That's panic mode.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Trolley]

Nobody texts me anymore, so I'm chilling.

[Mike Kos]

No, they were. It was a guide to promote people to drive. So it was like, hey, go to these towns when you're. When you're driving and you can stop at these good restaurants. Okay. At least that's according to Instagram.

[Kevin James Ryan]

It was a certain amount of tires worth going and like. Yeah, I think you.

[Mike Kos]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dave Trolley]

Something like six tires worth going.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Dave Trolley]

And then they became the authority on. It's got to be separate from the tire division, I would assume.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah, but it started out as, hey, we're going to give you recommend good restaurant recommendations while you're on your road.

[Dave Trolley]

Is Michelin an American company? Can't. And why do they say Michelin star instead of French? French company, French tires.

[Mike Kos]

Oh, that's it. I'm a Pirelli man. Shout out to the Carlos. She's keeping it. Keeping it in house with these guys with Pirelli's on the tires. What were.

[Dave Trolley]

Okay, there's all the tires for F1. Pirelli.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Pirelli it wasn't tired. Yeah. So one star, a very good restaurant. Worth the stop. Two stars worth a detour. Three stars worth the special journey.

[Dave Trolley]

Now it's fucking crazy.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah. I think it just as a. You know, you wanted to get on the list. And then the list became more refined.

[Dave Trolley]

I was a Zagat man back in the day.

[Mike Kos]

I never. I Ned that missed.

[Dave Trolley]

You weren't.

[Kevin James Ryan]

No, my mom was.

[Dave Trolley]

Oh.

[Mike Kos]

When it dropped, my mom. I guarantee you my mom doesn't even know what it is because they only

[Dave Trolley]

had it in New York for a while. They didn't have in Philly. It came later.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah. I mean if is Carabas on Zagat. Probably now. But not when it dropped. Like my mom wasn't.

[Dave Trolley]

I think they were a couple. So it was just a Saturday Night Live sketch.

[Mike Kos]

I remember the Zagat's.

[Dave Trolley]

Yeah.

[Mike Kos]

I don't know.

[Dave Trolley]

Zagots.

[Mike Kos]

I gotcha. Bob Zagat, rip I heard he crawls.

[Kevin James Ryan]

The Curlucci's, established by Tim and Nina.

[Mike Kos]

Zagat, probably like.

[Dave Trolley]

They're probably New York people.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah, I doubt they were from, you know, Saskatchewan. Came down and. All right. Don't go there.

[Dave Trolley]

You hose her, please. Thanks.

[Mike Kos]

Too many toonies.

[Dave Trolley]

You get two beer.

[Mike Kos]

Stephen Clark. $10 home. He never had one. Clark? Yeah.

[Dave Trolley]

That's a solid name. Mr. Clark. That's the guy that should be running our company. Stephen Clark.

[Mike Kos]

I don't know why you undermine me publicly.

[Dave Trolley]

Well, that's like in the founder.

[Mike Kos]

I always thought it was undermined. Undermining. Undermining me.

[Dave Trolley]

Undermining?

[Mike Kos]

Yeah, I found that out like very recently.

[Dave Trolley]

What is it?

[Mike Kos]

Mining?

[Dave Trolley]

Like a mine?

[Mike Kos]

Yeah, like you're.

[Dave Trolley]

You're going under.

[Mike Kos]

You're cutting them all.

[Dave Trolley]

I thought it was undermining me under. Fred Turner was the guy's name. He ended up running the ice.

[Mike Kos]

Turner is my guy's name.

[Dave Trolley]

Move that car, girl.

[Mike Kos]

I can't do a voice. I was texting Norman that the other day. Undermining, Undermining.

[Dave Trolley]

You really undermined me.

[Mike Kos]

Cut me off.

[Dave Trolley]

Like, make me look like a Johnny come lately.

[Mike Kos]

Sure.

[Dave Trolley]

Or a daydream Johnny. That's from Life Aquatic with Steve Susseau.

[Mike Kos]

I'm a Stephen Clark guy myself.

[Dave Trolley]

Anyway, Clark shout out to you. Stephen Clark. That's a name you can trust.

[Mike Kos]

If I end up with a squeaky wheel on my shopping cart at Walmart, I take it to the hardware section and spray it with WD40. I've done it twice and it worked both times. Am I garbage?

[Dave Trolley]

That's a fucking Stephen Clark.

[Mike Kos]

You're a goddamn American genius, that's what you are.

[Dave Trolley]

That's a fucking man. That's a man.

[Mike Kos]

Cuz as a guy who's recently started being in the burbs and using shopping carts, you don't find out till like, you're too far. You're like. You think it's going to settle out, it doesn't. And then you go, I got a bum cart. But you already got one or two. You're not going to go back to the. You're a man, you're a rough it. This guy goes, I'll rough it. Right to the hardware, spray it down. Brilliant.

[Dave Trolley]

Only thing I could see about that. It would. Wouldn't want that. You sprayed a tire. Spray the wheel, get a little bit on the floor, some dumbass comes along around the corner, slips on WD40.

[Mike Kos]

You're shopping at Walmart now.

[Dave Trolley]

I don't think I've ever used a cart. I don't use a cart.

[Mike Kos]

Mm.

[Dave Trolley]

Shopping for one.

[Mike Kos]

A lot of rotisserie chicken. How do you carry seven rotisserie chicken?

[Dave Trolley]

I have them delivered now. I do live bird.

[Mike Kos]

That's a very New York thing. Have you ever done that or. What would it take for you to do that? What?

[Dave Trolley]

Kill a chicken?

[Mike Kos]

No. What are you talking about?

[Dave Trolley]

He owed me money. Carlucci told me that I would. Carlucci tells me to push a button on a chicken, I'm pushing that button.

[Mike Kos]

What?

[Dave Trolley]

A lot of buffers, your honor.

[Mike Kos]

What? No, you get the groceries delivered. Like my grocery store does that. And the guys there, it's like an economy. The guys are there like they're the bagger. Older retired guys or whatever.

[Dave Trolley]

I don't grocery shop, obviously.

[Mike Kos]

I know, but I'm just saying now I need to.

[Dave Trolley]

I couldn't get like a roti. I wouldn't trust them to get a rotisserie chicken or my eggs. Why? Because I got to open the cart and I got to look and make sure they're all right. I gotta do that freaky stuff, the milk. I gotta get the one from behind. Not taking the first milk off the shelf. What am I, fucking dickhead? Expires tomorrow. No, you go back. I gotta do that shit myself. You know what I'm saying?

[Mike Kos]

Sure.

[Dave Trolley]

I don't even like doing that. I don't even really like getting the chipotle ordered because I don't see it.

[Mike Kos]

Okay, well then stop ordering it. You've had about three. You've had it about three times this week. So it's not bothering you that much

[Dave Trolley]

when a Chipotle honey chicken Runs out. I'm done.

[Mike Kos]

Wait to wait till they drop that bottom shrimp on you. That's. That's. The Chipotle wants to take over the world. Drop some Bada Bing chicken on me.

[Dave Trolley]

Why don't they copy that model?

[Mike Kos]

What?

[Dave Trolley]

That Chipotle model with other stuff.

[Mike Kos]

I mean they have.

[Dave Trolley]

Everywhere. I guess they have that sweet green. All that.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike Kos]

There's like every cuisine.

[Dave Trolley]

All right. I'm sorry.

[Mike Kos]

Take my wife, please.

[Dave Trolley]

Man. Stephen Clark with a home run.

[Mike Kos]

That's great. This one's from Joey bag of donuts. $10, homie. You've ever tried a fat ass in a glass? When you come to Portland, Maine, which will be there. Ask for it at a dive bar. The boys would enjoy it. It's a boozy. I can't. Big man. Can't have a boozy iced coffee beverage business out there.

[Dave Trolley]

I could have a drink if I want one.

[Mike Kos]

Just. Everybody take cover.

[Dave Trolley]

You son of a bitch.

[Mike Kos]

You never lie. Look at. Your shirt's undone. I'll chat. That's a good. A fat ass on a glass. That's a great trashy dive bar.

[Dave Trolley]

Is it again?

[Mike Kos]

It was a. I said an iced coffee. Boozy beverage. See what you got there, Lucas.

[Kevin James Ryan]

It's a coffee flavored brandy and cold milk or cream over ice. It's got the big man Randolph.

[Mike Kos]

Talk about a fat ass in the West.

[Dave Trolley]

Fat ass on the floor of the bar.

[Mike Kos]

I'mma do two of these to get my fat ass on the dance floor.

[Dave Trolley]

Doing a half and half out there

[Mike Kos]

to start backing it up and dumping it on somebody.

[Dave Trolley]

I mean, you getting up on chocolate milk. That's crazy. Holy.

[Mike Kos]

I'll do two badasses in a glass. If I get my tiny dick away.

[Dave Trolley]

I'm spitting up like a baby. Milk everywhere. That sounds all right. That's very funny, but I can't do it. Hand up. I'm focused. I'm working on me.

[Mike Kos]

Hand up.

[Dave Trolley]

Wanna have a hot dog up there? I feel like they got good hot dogs up in Portland.

[Mike Kos]

Okay.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Actually, I got a spot.

[Dave Trolley]

Do they? What? You got a spot?

[Mike Kos]

Yeah.

[Dave Trolley]

What are you talking about?

[Kevin James Ryan]

Family up there.

[Mike Kos]

Are they coming to the shows?

[Kevin James Ryan]

Yeah.

[Mike Kos]

Can we stay with them?

[Kevin James Ryan]

Yeah.

[Mike Kos]

What's. Whose side of the family?

[Dave Trolley]

Full price tickets. They got it.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Dad. Side.

[Dave Trolley]

They got it. You comped them out?

[Kevin James Ryan]

Yeah, of course.

[Mike Kos]

Did you already comp them? Yeah. Oh.

[Dave Trolley]

Chickens are running a roost in here.

[Mike Kos]

He's got their hands in my pocket. I'm gonna need some muscle. Call up the Carlucci.

[Dave Trolley]

I got a couple people Gotta answer the coach.

[Mike Kos]

The. They're skimming the skim. I can't. I'm gonna hit Carlucci's. Heavy. Stay, stay, stay tuned for the Instagram carousel coming from Kippy.

[Dave Trolley]

Heavy.

[Mike Kos]

I'm getting.

[Dave Trolley]

Okay, let me play that Shrimp Jackie. No, that's shrimp Jackie's down in. Don't tell me Russo's.

[Mike Kos]

Not Russo's.

[Dave Trolley]

No, Alfie's. Alfie's. Shrimp Stephanie.

[Mike Kos]

Shrimp Stephanie. Chicken. Shrimp Stephanie.

[Dave Trolley]

Probably a wonderful lady.

[Mike Kos]

I don't know why you brought that up, Kimmy. This is factor factor, factor, factor, factor.

[Dave Trolley]

Now, I don't got to tell you, we don't got to tell most of the bozos and the homies out there, but if you don't know, now you know. Now you know. Okay, Factor. Ready to eat two minutes. We're talking lean, nutritious, delicious, fills you up. Summertime's here. You're on the go, man. This is me saying this. Wanna be looking good. Factor.

[Mike Kos]

Yes.

[Dave Trolley]

Factor. Factor factor. I can't say it enough.

[Mike Kos]

Factor has meals built around your goals. Whether it's that's just weight loss, overall nutrition, more protein or GLP1 support for strength and workout recovery. Checkout Factor's Muscle Pro collection. That's what they're doing. They have all these different versatile, a la carte type things where you can do, I want some of this. I want this. I want to focus on breakfast. I want this. You can pick your menu to tailor your lifestyle or your dietary needs. Whatever you're doing. Every meal is crafted with functional ingredients. Lean protein, colorful veggies, whole foods and healthy fat. Factor bans 175 plus ingredients. They go. Get them out of here. Oh, no artif they ban them. No artificial flavors or sweeteners. No high fructose, high fructose corn syrup.

[Dave Trolley]

Get out of here with that.

[Mike Kos]

No refined seed oils. Just nutrient dense food. That's their fresh, never frozen, two minutes. I do them on a pan, get a little sear on some of this stuff. You can throw them in a microwave. You can do them in a pan, you can do an air fryer, whatever you want to do. You can heat them up, you can eat them cold, who cares? Fresh, never frozen dog ready in two minutes. Factor shops, preps, cooks and delivers straight to your door so you have more time to do everything you want. This season, head to factor meals.com garbage 50 off and use code garbage 50 off to get 50% off and free daily greens per box. How you doing with new subscription only while supplies last until 09:27:26. Website for more details. Do it.

[Dave Trolley]

Kim was talking about Progressive.

[Mike Kos]

Shout out to Progressive.

[Dave Trolley]

Yeah, that's right, baby. You're listening to this podcast, so I know you've got a curious mind. Here's a helpful fact. You might not know it yet, but drivers who switch and save with Progressive save over $900 on average. Talking about $900 you're saving, pop over to progressive.com, answer some questions and you'll get a quick quote with discounts that are easy to come by. In fact, 99% of their auto customers earn at least one discount.

[Mike Kos]

Yes. Visit progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little cash back. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. National average 12 month saving of $946 by new customers surveyed who save with Progressive between June 2024 and May 2025. Potential savings will vary. All right, let's see. This one's good. This is from LAX coach 72. Maybe it's your. Are you garbage? If your dad became the Disco King of Fort Lauderdale after he divorced your mom in 1976.

[Dave Trolley]

Holy.

[Mike Kos]

Imagine that. He said there's a dance floor and they turned like a parquet dance floor in those living room, I guess for the after parties, huh? Said every now and then there'd be a new smoke show. Making them pancakes in the morning.

[Dave Trolley]

No, he was around for this.

[Mike Kos]

That should be a movie. Yeah. The Disco King of Fort Lauderdale.

[Dave Trolley]

The Disco King of Fort Lauderdale from. Told from the Story of the Sun.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Yeah. Coming of age tail.

[Mike Kos]

Of course, a coming.

[Dave Trolley]

I could get cracking on that. I get a treatment ready. Tell this kid to hit me up. Cut him in 25%. Plus I'll need distribution. And I'll need to take a look at this smoke show.

[Mike Kos]

This is like when Chrissy got into Cleaver. You don't get it, Tone.

[Dave Trolley]

I write a character with you, you're retarded. It was this fat bald kid that I got at the disco. Everybody made fun of him. His name was Melvin. Melvin Bryan. He got hit with a bowling pin. Thought it was a gumball. That's a work in progress.

[Mike Kos]

So you had to punch this up for me?

[Dave Trolley]

Get Clark on the job. Bring Clark in on this.

[Mike Kos]

You bring. Have you do any work yourself? You're bringing a lot of guys, giving away a lot of money.

[Dave Trolley]

That's what. That's what genius does. They put people around them. Elon Musk didn't start Tesla with some fucking engineer. He put cash behind them. Right?

[Mike Kos]

Sure you don't have any of that.

[Dave Trolley]

I have access to it, though. I could drum up some business. You don't think I can go out there and get fucking 2, 3 million.

[Mike Kos]

Bullshit.

[Dave Trolley]

You don't think I can go out there and get investors? I know two, three guys I can hit up right now that would say no.

[Mike Kos]

It would block my number. I'll get restraining orders tonight. If you needed cash, who's the first person you're calling? First famous first person in our world that you're calling that you think would get it.

[Dave Trolley]

I'm calling you, dumbass.

[Mike Kos]

Well, that's a my. No, not outside of me.

[Dave Trolley]

What? Business manager. Liquidate. What can you get for these mics?

[Mike Kos]

Playing the game.

[Dave Trolley]

Who would I call? I mean, there's two people that I would call.

[Mike Kos]

That's what I'm asking.

[Dave Trolley]

Can I say yeah, why not? Called Schultz. Sure, Gilly.

[Mike Kos]

Sure. Those are two good ones.

[Dave Trolley]

Pretty good ones.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah. I know who mine would go to. What'd you say? Call new guy Luke. Mark the Shark. As for a couple of Walker.

[Dave Trolley]

Look, you know, I could probably give

[Mike Kos]

me Mark the Shark at a bonefish grill for 40 bucks.

[Dave Trolley]

What about security? Nothing on that.

[Mike Kos]

That's crazy. Yeah, that would be my call.

[Dave Trolley]

You think so?

[Mike Kos]

I would have to. I was texting with him yesterday.

[Dave Trolley]

He would have pity on me. I don't think they would do it because they would be worried that they were contributing to something. You know, I don't ever really build up that kind of credit yet.

[Mike Kos]

Sure.

[Dave Trolley]

Like, are you just gonna go get up?

[Mike Kos]

I think the next call would be me. They'd be like, hey, don't call Kevin. If you say don't call Kevin, this

[Dave Trolley]

dickhead watching me 24. 7.

[Mike Kos]

That's a dead giveaway.

[Dave Trolley]

Oh, my God.

[Mike Kos]

Hey, listen, just. I need. I need. I need 250 grand.

[Dave Trolley]

250. I wouldn't ask him for that 40 grand.

[Mike Kos]

Okay,

[Dave Trolley]

first thing I'm getting. Pack of eaters.

[Mike Kos]

Dude, that's ripping that first rip outside the seven on doggy eyes rolling back in your head. Yeah, okay. But, yeah, if you said don't say

[Dave Trolley]

Burt, but I think, you know, he's not handling that. You know, I have to go through the Mrs. Yeah. And she'd probably be very concerned.

[Mike Kos]

Mm.

[Dave Trolley]

So it's probably no dice there.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah.

[Dave Trolley]

Stavi. I would say probably no nuts.

[Mike Kos]

What? Yeah, well,

[Dave Trolley]

I have some outside people I could go to, too.

[Mike Kos]

Okay. The Carlucci's?

[Dave Trolley]

Think so.

[Mike Kos]

I want that big every Friday. Oh, no, I don't. All right, let's see.

[Dave Trolley]

A lot of garlic knots yeah,

[Mike Kos]

this one's good. This is from ozempic Gold medalist $10, homie. Ever catch a heater with your college professor before you both walk into class?

[Dave Trolley]

Whoa, I feel like I've heard that before. That's a good one.

[Mike Kos]

That's a really good one. Yeah, I know. I don't think I. I'm trying to think if I ever. I would always stand out front and catch a heater.

[Dave Trolley]

That was obviously something about teacher smoking just really turned me off. I don't know why.

[Mike Kos]

Dude, my high school teacher was like out of central casting. Suspenders, belly heaters. Dude. Face like a catcher's mitt. Like the pock marks and everything. The group, the. The yellow fingers.

[Dave Trolley]

You smoking that many heaters?

[Mike Kos]

Oh dude, this is like bad kids. He's like 60 something. They raised people. He always had a cough drop or something you hear clicking around in his teeth. A little handsy. He like the girls, like the beautiful girls.

[Dave Trolley]

Yeah, I don't know how teachers do it.

[Mike Kos]

What?

[Dave Trolley]

That's a lot. Day in and day out. Punk ass kids like you. You're badass sitting back there. Peanut butter all over your face. I don't know what you're doing.

[Mike Kos]

Kids a freak lady. Yeah, back to school. Hey listen, your kid's a freak, huh? Driving me to smoke. He's like backpacking it. All right, let's see. This one's pretty good. This is some Chris 20, homie. Shout out. Whoa, you big dog. Why don't you freaking say something?

[Dave Trolley]

Glass of champagne for the gentleman.

[Mike Kos]

Is it garbage if your family, specifically your mom, called items but by their brand name instead of what it actually was? I. E. Who use my painting. Go grab my Michael Kors. Also referring to any and all video games as Nintendo games.

[Dave Trolley]

Oh, that's great. They were all Nintendo games.

[Mike Kos]

Well that was before there was any. We were playing your frickin Nintendo games, you vidiots. I had an aunt call me a video. Yeah, he's out there playing his frickin intense. Yeah, but then at my age Sega came in PlayStation, you know, so it was like it was very. It stopped being Nintendo and then Nintendo was kind of corny until N64 was kind of resurged.

[Dave Trolley]

Really? Yeah, that was a rat. Was PlayStation and Nintendo 64 around at the same time? Mm, Nintendo did. PlayStation had to blow Nintendo 64 away at the graphics, right?

[Mike Kos]

Or no, no placestation. No, I think there were.

[Dave Trolley]

I think Nintendo 64 was cartridges. A cartridge can't compete with a DVD for technology. Right?

[Mike Kos]

It wasn't a DV I mean it was. It was a CD at that time but also it was whatever the six laser it's all bit right so it's like 64 they were both to see what the original PlayStation was versus 64.

[Dave Trolley]

Can't do the video games now. It's too much. I really tried trying to play that Star wars game got into this fucking Jedi Fighter. It went too fast.

[Mike Kos]

Slow it down. Although like I do remember I guess I we were mostly PlayStation 2. We went 6N64 to PlayStation 2.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Well they're just so. They are so different too because Nintendo is all in house so Nintendo doesn't allow any third.

[Mike Kos]

Right.

[Kevin James Ryan]

PlayStation has all these third party games, right?

[Dave Trolley]

What do you mean like Nintendo doesn't have Star Wars?

[Kevin James Ryan]

No. Like they'll have to like let.

[Mike Kos]

No yeah like a third party could make a third party I don't think could make Nintendo games. A third party could make PlayStation games.

[Dave Trolley]

Oh that's why Nintendo 64 was like Zelda, Mario Brothers.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Pokemon.

[Dave Trolley]

Yeah, it's all that they have Pokemon. Yeah they do. Yeah yeah so you can't get Pokemon on PlayStation.

[Kevin James Ryan]

No, that's the whole thing. So if you want to play Pokemon you have to buy a Nintendo.

[Mike Kos]

Nintendo was always more cartoon.

[Kevin James Ryan]

I downloaded a ROM on my phone around really? Yeah.

[Dave Trolley]

No but there is no Nintendo console these days.

[Kevin James Ryan]

The Switch.

[Dave Trolley]

Oh that's right. I have one of those. I don't know where the fuck it is. What Take my Switch to my house somewhere.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah, moving on. Good day sir.

[Kevin James Ryan]

The N64 though actually did have better 3D rendering and all at.

[Mike Kos]

Better. Yeah, yeah. I don't. I only remember the. My real memories of play. I don't. I didn't have PlayStation 1 but PlayStation was also.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Yeah like more adult games. Yes like you had like Kingdom of Hearts like stuff like that like early

[Mike Kos]

on Cherry N64 was like Sky Fox Cruise in USA wave race, Goldeneye.

[Dave Trolley]

Is that what you. That's the game you played what you call it? You know what's a good game? The one Alec Baldwin and was the voice for. You were a spy and you ran around and it was. It was like James Bond fuck. What was it called? Was really good.

[Mike Kos]

PlayStation had scary games though. I remember getting so nervous playing Tekken Stealth Assassin or whatever his heart would start beating the rumble pack would be going be dogs chasing I'm hiding on a roof freakin out.

[Dave Trolley]

That's a lot of stress for a Wednesday Throw on mad about you. Relax. I had this game I came what it was on it might have been PlayStation or it might have been. I couldn't have been Sega, but it was called. It was called Jungle Strike. You were an Apache helicopter. That was my favorite. Going around, fucking up fucking Russian.

[Kevin James Ryan]

For Sega.

[Dave Trolley]

It was.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Also for Super Nintendo.

[Dave Trolley]

Is that banging? I'd love a good helicopter game. Not too complicated. I want to do the flying shit. I want to go out and fuck shit up and pick up troops, come down, hit the fucking dirt, lay down some fucking covering fire, get the boys in the chopper and get in the fuck out of there. Okay. You know what I mean?

[Mike Kos]

Sure, yeah.

[Kevin James Ryan]

I mean, the thing is, also, it's like you can.

[Dave Trolley]

They're all simulators now.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Yeah. Like, they're all so easy for the phone or whatever to do this stuff now.

[Dave Trolley]

What do you mean?

[Kevin James Ryan]

Like, you.

[Mike Kos]

The.

[Kevin James Ryan]

The console used to be the only thing that used to be able to, like, have these games. Now you have the phone, which is so much more powerful than all these old consoles.

[Dave Trolley]

Yeah, but they're jacking you with the fucking in. In game play. I'm not doing. I'm a. Buying missiles and shit now.

[Kevin James Ryan]

You can a lot like this game. I bet you could get for free, like on your phone.

[Dave Trolley]

What's it called? Jungle Strike.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah.

[Dave Trolley]

Really? Yeah, I like that. That naval ship game. I can't remember what it's called. I had that for a minute.

[Mike Kos]

Stealing valor.

[Dave Trolley]

No, was sick. Fucking, like you could shoot a guy like, around the corner. It was just ships going after each other. You had to buy shit, though. Get the Swiss gun. Get this, get that. I ain't got time for that shit. Got my. I got my cash tied up.

[Mike Kos]

Real estate. Tommy buns hit me up. I need 40 grand to play video games. You swear to God? Don't tell Kippy.

[Dave Trolley]

What's that stuff called?

[Mike Kos]

In pussy?

[Dave Trolley]

What's that stuff called in.

[Kevin James Ryan]

In game purchases?

[Dave Trolley]

No, what's. What's the one that the kids play? You jump off Wonder World?

[Kevin James Ryan]

Assassin's Creed?

[Dave Trolley]

No, it's on an island.

[Mike Kos]

Fucking fortnight. Yes.

[Dave Trolley]

What are those called? Internet bucks or something?

[Kevin James Ryan]

E bucks.

[Dave Trolley]

V bucks. My fucking nephew must have shook me down for like 10 grand of V bucks.

[Mike Kos]

Mm.

[Dave Trolley]

Never saw that again. If he don't let me live with him when I'm older, I'm be so pissed.

[Mike Kos]

So he'd be what, 20, and you'd be 60. That's a bad hang. Well, and I don't think you're getting it.

[Dave Trolley]

I'll give him till he's 30, he settles down.

[Mike Kos]

So you're what?

[Dave Trolley]

Yeah, I Have my retirement cash then. Hanging out.

[Mike Kos]

What retirement cash?

[Dave Trolley]

I'll figure something out.

[Mike Kos]

See if Schultz returns my call. Okay. All right. Let's see here. This is from Keaton Smith. Never had one read. Is it garbage to put home construction projects on your wedding registry in hopes that one of your uncles will do the work for free?

[Dave Trolley]

Holy shit.

[Mike Kos]

Jammed up. Need electrical work in a new bathroom. Love yous.

[Dave Trolley]

Wow.

[Mike Kos]

I like it.

[Dave Trolley]

Hey, I'm gonna come do the bathroom. Listen, these construction, like 20 grand.

[Mike Kos]

It depends what you're getting done.

[Dave Trolley]

Parts and labor.

[Mike Kos]

Depends what you're getting done. Yeah, I mean, I don't think he'd be buying the. He wouldn't be buying the parts. Like, hey, I'll buy the tile and the Whatever. Whatever you know, come over for. It's not going to be a full. A redo. A pretty good spruce up, I presume.

[Dave Trolley]

The problem with that is try to say, all right. You'll help, though. What's the point? Help you? You know what I mean?

[Mike Kos]

Not really.

[Dave Trolley]

I like what other people do it. They do it better than I do. I can't do that. Stuck with you hanging out with your uncle. You know what I'm saying?

[Kevin James Ryan]

I can't get her. I feel like you love hanging out with your uncle or something.

[Mike Kos]

Until he died.

[Dave Trolley]

Yeah. They weren't redoing bathrooms. Businessman. My dad was terrible with that shit.

[Mike Kos]

But I like. I mean, like, I have a lot of my uncles do that stuff. You know what I mean? Like, shout out my Uncle Dan. He's done like my diddle. Everybody's kitchen. Like that whole, like, everybody. For my sister and everybody. He did everybody's thing. Those guys love side work. They don't like sitting around. They like a reason to, you know, complain. I gotta go down there and da, da, da, da, da.

[Dave Trolley]

Had that.

[Mike Kos]

What?

[Dave Trolley]

That don't like sitting around. Not that I do like sitting around. I get anxious, but I don't. You know what I mean? This guy's, like, moving.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah.

[Dave Trolley]

Running away. What are you looking at? Like you're bear grills.

[Mike Kos]

I didn't look at anybody anyway, did I?

[Dave Trolley]

Rolls up his sleeve, all of a sudden he's Bob Villa.

[Mike Kos]

You're slo now.

[Dave Trolley]

See? Could use that in the script. Clark put him on a project.

[Mike Kos]

You put me on the project. He's in for five points.

[Dave Trolley]

I have to run up by Clark.

[Mike Kos]

Get yourself a Clarkman. You got a Clarkman. Thanks, trash.

[Dave Trolley]

That's pretty good, man. I like that. I like thinking outside the box.

[Mike Kos]

Oh, yeah. You know, I. I'm a big fan of that. Hey, come over, do that.

[Dave Trolley]

You know, anything anybody does now, obviously, I, you know, I think I have some expertise in this. Anything anybody does in those situations, like, you know, on the registry or whatever, that's going to move them forward as a couple. I respect that.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah, you know, 100%. 100%. I, you know, that's what it should be. Shouldn't be this big extravagant thing, you know, destination, a bunch of money, all that kind of stuff around a major holiday. It shouldn't be that. It should be something tight, small to celebrate with your community.

[Dave Trolley]

It's Porosos, by the way.

[Mike Kos]

H e double and I. Hennigan's the smell.

[Dave Trolley]

That's what I'm saying. That's why I said it.

[Mike Kos]

Tommy's got the 40 grain. He's got all that Porosos money. It's all over the set.

[Dave Trolley]

I got a couple of bottles here. I signed both of their names. I sent both of their names in. Ted Williams. What famous baseball player.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Splendid Splinter, Huh? That was his fucking nickname.

[Dave Trolley]

Dickhead Johnny. Red Sox over here. You live fucking 20 minutes outside New York. All of a sudden you're a New Englander? Give me a break.

[Mike Kos]

You don't like when anybody does anything.

[Dave Trolley]

He talking about got that 40 grand?

[Mike Kos]

You got the cash or what? Guy, this is from no context.

[Dave Trolley]

I got a hot date at Carlucci.

[Mike Kos]

This is from no context. Ayg, is it garbage to leave unopened boxes of stuff, soap in your dresser so your undies smell like Irish Spring.

[Dave Trolley]

That's again, yes, it's trash, but it's fucking awesome. Get rid of that wood smell.

[Mike Kos]

But what is. Because I. If you remember, we talked about that. I did dryer sheet. I did a bunch of stuff. I didn't think of boxes of soap. I'm gonna do that for sure. But why is it trashy? Just cause it's not used for that. I'd like rich people, I'm sure, have like some sort of classier version of that. Why is it trashy? I'm not. I don't disagree with you.

[Dave Trolley]

But like, my mom would always get something from a wedding and put it in there.

[Mike Kos]

Like a little bag of potpourri or something.

[Dave Trolley]

Yeah. Which I mistook for candy more times than not. And it did not end well. I always thought it was those Jordan almonds. You ever with those?

[Mike Kos]

You don't know from the country Jordan? No.

[Dave Trolley]

They might be.

[Mike Kos]

I think they're like Michael Jordan's got his own almonds.

[Dave Trolley]

Damn hands and everything. No, Jordan Almonds are candy coated almonds.

[Mike Kos]

No. I remember my mom had potpourri in her room and I found it and was like. I remember thinking, trying to smoke it. I'm all.

[Dave Trolley]

I'm twitching all up on cinnamon.

[Mike Kos]

I started going like, who do you. I go, what is this? He goes, it's just for like, to smell good. I remember going, we got like potpourri blew my mind. And I just. I remember just like red wood chips. Yeah.

[Dave Trolley]

I remember being like mulch in the house.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah. I remember sitting there thinking, like, who do you think you all. We're not what this is really. This stuff isn't for us. It felt like rich people. It was in a dish with a lid and you take it off and then smell and then close it.

[Dave Trolley]

It never worked. It sucked. No. Let's fucking get the Glade.

[Mike Kos]

That's what I'm saying. Hit them with some chemicals, you know?

[Dave Trolley]

You know, rich people do. That's very classy. They put something on the stove, they throw cinnamon, lemon, some shit like that.

[Mike Kos]

You guys do that?

[Kevin James Ryan]

No, but I've heard of like, that's more like homemakers do that stuff.

[Mike Kos]

Like a Martha Stork type thing.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Like where you have people over.

[Mike Kos]

They do that at William Sonoma.

[Dave Trolley]

Yeah, that's who.

[Mike Kos]

They got it going. So you walk on. What's that? It's just like. They're just.

[Dave Trolley]

You know, the casinos pump something through the air too, don't they?

[Mike Kos]

Mm.

[Dave Trolley]

What is that?

[Mike Kos]

Yankee candles? No.

[Dave Trolley]

Is that true?

[Mike Kos]

No. I don't know.

[Dave Trolley]

They do pump something.

[Mike Kos]

We had like in college, we had such dirt bags smoked in a house out to 716 Edgley Street, North Philadelphia. Was me, Flip. Another kid. And then a couple kids moving in and out. The good looking kid that you know, my buddy Eddie. Shout out. Eddie Spaghetti.

[Dave Trolley]

Shout out Spaghetti.

[Mike Kos]

He. We. We all smoked in the house. Imagine that. One kid didn't smoke, moved in with us. Oh, and me, Flip Eddie and my boy McFadden all smoked in the house. And this kid didn't smoke. Was like an athlete. Was like up at the gym every day.

[Dave Trolley]

Did he care?

[Mike Kos]

He. I'm just. He would have to, right? You walk. You just walk in after his class and there's four hoodlums.

[Dave Trolley]

I smoke Frank. And he did that.

[Mike Kos]

Maybe crack a window.

[Dave Trolley]

Maybe.

[Mike Kos]

Maybe crack a window. You.

[Dave Trolley]

Do you smoke with the wind? I remember up at your buddy's house that we used to live with, we'd be.

[Mike Kos]

Episode just went live.

[Dave Trolley]

What episode? Is it 7 o' clock or is it.

[Mike Kos]

Do you know where Your children are.

[Dave Trolley]

Do you know where 40 grand is? You. Do you smoke with the windows to close? No.

[Mike Kos]

We would crack that one. That don't do shit. No, it doesn't. We would try to sit next to it. You know what?

[Dave Trolley]

Whatever. So it's staying around.

[Mike Kos]

No, it's lingering. But we had like a butter. Like it was a Christmas cookie Yankee candle that I stole from my mom.

[Dave Trolley]

Didn't stand a chance.

[Mike Kos]

This thing. It. We thought it was. It was the bigger one too. Not the. Not the little guy, but the bigger one.

[Dave Trolley]

I know the exact candle. I know the exact smell.

[Mike Kos]

No, I think this might have been one. I don't know.

[Dave Trolley]

Oh, a Triwick. No, they didn't come out until like mid 2000.

[Mike Kos]

No, not the big jaw. This was still in the glass. But like.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Okay.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah, like a bigger glass. Not. They had the short little stubby ones or like the tiny little ones. This was like. Ain't cheap either. This was like a court. You know what I mean?

[Dave Trolley]

I know what you mean.

[Mike Kos]

Like a coffee can size big boy. And we used to think this was the. Like girls would come over. But I liked it. You know, we'd spruce like the.

[Dave Trolley]

Like the game.

[Mike Kos]

And it was all the fat chicks that buttercreck.

[Dave Trolley]

You're in there starving.

[Mike Kos]

Popcorn flavored candle Christmas cookie. And we. We thought it was so fancy that we wouldn't ash in it. That was our thing. You don't ash in the Yankee candle and then at some point you just.

[Dave Trolley]

I'll do never Trying to like that thing when it got all the way

[Mike Kos]

down the bottom fucking hand come out covered in tar. That was wild. Yeah.

[Dave Trolley]

Like a Russian coal miner

[Mike Kos]

that I remember being like, that's to me. And I guess Yankee candles are probably trashy in the grand scheme of things.

[Dave Trolley]

I don't know. Give me a retail price on a Yankee. They are they trash.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah.

[Dave Trolley]

To you.

[Kevin James Ryan]

I know.

[Mike Kos]

But I would listen. I've been out of the candle game for a long time. I would have to say the fact that there's that many flavors.

[Dave Trolley]

I'm not saying they haven't jumped a shark, but for a while they ruled Christmas.

[Mike Kos]

I think to us there I would have. If you zoom out, I think they might be. There's a real good case that they're trashy.

[Kevin James Ryan]

They're great. I mean they hold a lot.

[Mike Kos]

They.

[Kevin James Ryan]

They. They are needed in society. They run about 20 bucks a candle.

[Dave Trolley]

Really?

[Mike Kos]

What's the burn life on it.

[Dave Trolley]

Got to get that 17 hours. No more than that. What are rich people doing diffusers now they're bad for you. Everybody says that.

[Mike Kos]

What?

[Dave Trolley]

They're no good.

[Mike Kos]

What? There's two different kind of diffusers. What? Diffusers. You talk like the sticks that you turn up.

[Dave Trolley]

Yes.

[Mike Kos]

Why is that bad?

[Dave Trolley]

I'm just. I've heard.

[Mike Kos]

All right, I'm asking. Why do you get so defensive?

[Dave Trolley]

Because Carlucci's trying to come after me.

[Mike Kos]

Shouldn't have been running your friggin.

[Dave Trolley]

I didn't mean to.

[Mike Kos]

I remember my buddy, rest in peace. His, his. He was the first one to have one down the basement.

[Dave Trolley]

A diffuser or can't.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah, diffuser. And how. And he's like, yeah, turn that upside down. And I was like, what the.

[Dave Trolley]

No, I'm talking about the ones that are sitting in like the vase with like. They look like punks.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah, you turn. Yeah, they sit in there. Uh huh. In the bottom, and the one side's wet. And then you turn that. Turn the sticks upside down.

[Dave Trolley]

Wouldn't you get on your hand?

[Mike Kos]

No, it's. The stick absorbs the water. And then you turn it upside down. And like now the. You've unleashed the beast. Yeah. Why are they bad? Do you have anything?

[Kevin James Ryan]

There's something in them.

[Dave Trolley]

Parabens.

[Mike Kos]

Oh, like a chemie?

[Dave Trolley]

Yeah, chemie. Yeah. Fucking tallow.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Only bad though, in like very small spaces. Really?

[Mike Kos]

To your apartment? We can do this. And we got to wrap it up. This is from Ben Rosen. $13.80 Canadian bozo.

[Dave Trolley]

Hey Benny.

[Mike Kos]

Hey Ozer. Never had one read the old man used to be an independent contractor. He worked in legal services. Shady. Every invoice, every in. On every invoice, he would charge mileage. But he only worked from his home office. That goddamn Canadian hero. Talk about skimming the skim. They don't know I'm on driving all over creation for this guy.

[Dave Trolley]

I tell you what, you can't really account for human miles.

[Mike Kos]

What?

[Dave Trolley]

You know what I mean. Skim going here.

[Mike Kos]

A lot of trips I had to make to the bedroom during this case.

[Dave Trolley]

I respect it.

[Mike Kos]

That's all right. That's good. You just gotta turn a corner.

[Dave Trolley]

What are you doing? Of course you don't think these. You don't think these billionaire fat cats are doing the same goddamn thing?

[Mike Kos]

I mean, I don't think they made all their money skipping 8 bucks in mileage per case, but they'd have to have to do 50, 500 million cases. But yeah, I see what you're saying.

[Dave Trolley]

I'm gonna tell you this right now.

[Mike Kos]

Tell me, bud.

[Dave Trolley]

I love the both of you.

[Mike Kos]

I love you. Too, gang.

[Dave Trolley]

We love you. What a fun one. Good old fashioned family episode.

[Mike Kos]

Yeah.

[Dave Trolley]

We will see you next week. Peace.