Harland Williams Returns!

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast"

Episode: Harland Williams Returns!
Release Date: April 17, 2025
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Guest: Harland Williams

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1. Introduction

The episode kicks off with hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley welcoming back the beloved comedian Harland Williams. Known for his unique blend of classiness and self-deprecating humor, Harland is set to navigate the "Are You Garbage?" algorithm alongside the hosts, proving once again why he's a favorite in their trashy comedy game show.

2. Soda Tales and Flight Fiascos (02:08 - 05:00)

Harland dives into his unapologetic love for sodas, specifically Sunkist and Coke. Kevin jests, “He’s a soda man, and he came in with his own bottle of Sunkist” (02:30). The conversation takes a humorous turn as Harland recounts his tumultuous experiences with flight attendants.

Notable Quote:

Harland Williams [05:01]: “Sometimes I even play REO Speedwagon’s I Can’t Take This Feeling Any Longer on my phone while we’re making eye contact. And I usually get there in pretty good shape.”

Harland shares a funny yet relatable story about repeatedly requesting sodas on a flight, leading to his persistent interaction with a nonchalant flight attendant.

3. Dining with Celebrities and Family Anecdotes (08:05 - 15:00)

Harland reminisces about his early career days, particularly his experiences dining at Wolfgang Puck’s restaurant. He humorously describes a chatty waiter who overstepped boundaries, making meals uncomfortable despite his best efforts to maintain decorum.

A highlight of this segment is Harland’s fabricated yet entertaining story involving his sister and pop star Nelly Furtado:

Notable Quote:

Harland Williams [32:42]: “She pulled her right thunder jug out and slapped my sister right across the face. Looked like she’d been stung by a jellyfish, but it was actually Nelly Furtado's giant areola.”

This exaggerated tale showcases the podcast's trademark blend of absurdity and humor, keeping listeners engaged and laughing.

4. Early Career and Star Search (15:00 - 17:49)

Harland opens up about his stint on Star Search, where he initially received perfect scores. However, a singular judge’s low score cost him the competition, despite outperforming the eventual winner in early rounds. This segment underscores Harland's perseverance and humorous perspective on the unpredictable nature of the entertainment industry.

Notable Quote:

Harland Williams [15:37]: “The whole thing didn’t make sense. But I still did. All right, overall.”

His candid recounting of the experience adds depth to his comedic persona, illustrating the ups and downs of his journey.

5. Audience Q&A: From Utensils to Bathrooms (21:20 - 38:19)

The heart of the episode features listener-submitted questions, which Harland and the hosts tackle with their characteristic wit.

Key Topics:

• Leaving Utensils Dirty: Harland explains his pragmatic approach to leaving a peanut butter knife unwashed if it’s only used for viscous spreads, turning it into a comedic discussion about household habits.

  Notable Quote:

  Harland Williams [21:57]: “I ate Thai with this one last night. Let’s wash it. My garbage.”

• Blue Toilet Water: A humorous debate ensues over the propriety of using green spray paint to mask dog pee stains and other bathroom etiquette questions.

  Notable Quote:

  Harland Williams [27:26]: “So you don’t have to look at yellow. You get to look at a nice hue of blue. It's almost like looking into a tropical sunset or something.”

The segment is filled with playful banter, illustrating the show's lighthearted take on everyday dilemmas.

6. Fishing Adventures and Noodling (43:48 - 52:12)

Harland shifts gears to discuss his passion for fishing, particularly fly fishing and the adventurous sport of noodling. He shares vivid anecdotes about battling giant catfish and the serene connection he feels with nature during these fishing trips.

Notable Quote:

Harland Williams [51:31]: “There's a real serenity to it. It's like that movie that Robert Redford and Brad Pitt made — The River Runs Through It.”

His detailed descriptions not only entertain but also provide insight into his personal interests beyond the comedy scene.

7. Closing Remarks and Upcoming Projects (59:06 - 62:56)

As the episode nears its end, Harland promotes his upcoming movie "Wingman", scheduled for a sneak screening in Toronto on May 9. He also teases his new venture, the Harland Highway Podcast, scheduled every Tuesday.

Notable Quote:

Harland Williams [61:43]: “Wingman. It’s about a demented wingman that helps dudes find and meet girls.”

The hosts enthusiastically support Harland, expressing excitement for his projects and affirming the strong camaraderie among the trio.

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Notable Quotes Overview

• Introducing Harland:

  Kevin Ryan [00:26]: “We couldn’t be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest back with us again today... Mr. Harland Williams.”

• Flight Soda Fiasco:

  Harland Williams [05:01]: “Sometimes I even play REO Speedwagon’s I Can’t Take This Feeling Any Longer on my phone while we’re making eye contact.”

• Star Search Struggles:

  Harland Williams [15:37]: “The whole thing didn’t make sense. But I still did. All right, overall.”

• Blue Toilet Water:

  Harland Williams [27:26]: “So you don’t have to look at yellow. You get to look at a nice hue of blue. It's almost like looking into a tropical sunset or something.”

• Fishing Serenity:

  Harland Williams [51:31]: “There's a real serenity to it. It's like that movie that Robert Redford and Brad Pitt made — The River Runs Through It.”

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Conclusion

In this episode, Harland Williams delivers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and candid insights, all while navigating the playful "garbage" test set by the hosts. From his quirky soda preferences and flight experiences to his adventurous fishing tales and early career mishaps, Harland embodies the podcast's spirit of finding the humor in everyday "trash." The episode concludes on a high note with exciting announcements about Harland's upcoming projects, ensuring listeners stay tuned for more laughs and stories in future episodes.

Transcript

[Kevin Ryan]

Gang. The 2025 edition of the are you garbage card game third edition is on sale right [e-mail]. play it with your friends, play with your family, and see who is trash.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, we got over 50 questions right here. Was your babysitter a man? Hit me. Ever been run over? How you doing?

[Harland Williams]

Yes, I have.

[H. Foley]

Can you pick up stuff with your toes?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes, I can.

[H. Foley]

Gang. [e-mail] and they're shipping in a day or two. Get on board.

[Kevin Ryan]

Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is are you garbage?

[H. Foley]

Oh, yeah, it's that little show.

[Kevin Ryan]

We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that if they're to be classy, yeah, they're just a big old piece. Piece of trash.

[H. Foley]

Trash, trash, trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm your host, Tay Trulley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tootie's in a new addition. She just made a little breakfast.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Newport 100 and some cooking wine.

[H. Foley]

That's not bad.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's gonna be a short day, I'll tell you that right now. Mike Hoes is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of are you garbage? He is an international businessman and he's my best pal in the whole wide world and I love him and I don't care who knows it. Give it up for kj, Kevin, James Ryan, everybody.

[H. Foley]

Ah, thank you very much. Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in as always. Please make sure you hit rate review. Subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also full video now available on Spotify. Over there. Part of that program. Go check that out. And patreon.com are you garbage gang. All the fun happens there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes, sir. And we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest back with us again today. One of the few, believe it or not, to come up classy. Put us through the ringer in the are you garbage? Algorithm. Don't let the sun kissed coffee and can of coke fool you. Or the MacGyver leather jacket that he walked in. Yeah, give it up for the one, the only, Mr. Harland Williams, everybody. Look at him.

[H. Foley]

He just hit us like he was doing panel. That was good.

[Harland Williams]

Thank you.

[H. Foley]

This guy's a gosh darn pro.

[Harland Williams]

Thank you.

[H. Foley]

So the last time you Were here. We went back and did our research. We, you know, we had our data entry team go back and pull all the facts from the last episode, and they said you were a big Coca Cola slash maybe Diet Coke kind of guy. So we went out and got you some diet. We went out and got you a can of Coke and a can of Diet Coke.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's a soda man, and he came.

[H. Foley]

In with his own bottle of sunk. And I go, do you want a Coke? He goes, I got some Sunkist in my bag. I'm gonna have. But bring the Coke in case I want a double dip.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very Harvey Picar.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, Harvey Pekar.

[Kevin Ryan]

Big, big, big soda guy. Big orange soda guy.

[H. Foley]

He a comic?

[Harland Williams]

No, he was a comic book artist.

[Kevin Ryan]

Comic book.

[Harland Williams]

Did some very obscure kind of Gen X style comedy. I can't even hear myself. Is that bad?

[H. Foley]

We're not even doing a podcast right now.

[Harland Williams]

Well, I like my stroke with all that sugar. Let's see.

[H. Foley]

How about that?

[Harland Williams]

Are his headphones on my voice?

[H. Foley]

Can you hear us?

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, I can hear you. Oh, there we go.

[H. Foley]

There you go.

[Harland Williams]

Thanks, Tim.

[H. Foley]

Oh, that's new guy Tim, Charlie.

[Kevin Ryan]

New guy Tim's all right.

[Harland Williams]

By the way. What does it take to become, like, a piece of garbage? Like, I guess I should have asked before I sat down. Like, how do you qualify?

[Kevin Ryan]

You shocked us.

[H. Foley]

He just turned the show on us.

[Kevin Ryan]

You shocked us a little bit.

[Harland Williams]

I did?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

We thought you were going to be a little more trashy, but you're, you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Know, you're well traveled.

[H. Foley]

Well traveled, well educated.

[Kevin Ryan]

Come from good stock.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very smart with your money.

[H. Foley]

Good amount of cash.

[Kevin Ryan]

Good amount of cash.

[H. Foley]

Soda's not great, you know.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Give an indulgence.

[Harland Williams]

But what makes you garbage.

[H. Foley]

I would have to argue. Two sodas on the table. Two different sodas on the table at the same time is. Is a step into the garbage realm.

[Harland Williams]

Okay, so I'm sort of litter heading towards garbage.

[H. Foley]

Yes, yes. You're refuse.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're an old Big Mac rapper.

[Harland Williams]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just outside the trash can.

[Harland Williams]

I love it.

[H. Foley]

But we do have. We do have some. Is there anything you wanted to.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was just gonna ask him how to flight in.

[H. Foley]

Was okay.

[Harland Williams]

Oh, it's great. We only crashed twice.

[H. Foley]

Those are good numbers.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. As long as we get here, it's fine with me.

[Kevin Ryan]

You fly up front, I assume, gentlemen such as yourself.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, I'm a cockpit guy. I like the front window. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Now I know why you crash twice.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, that's probably about right there now, huh? Yeah, no, I like to sit right up front. I like to know who's flying my rig. I like to know get personable with the captain, the co pilot and just chit chat. Feel like I'm befriending them so that they're invested more in getting me there safely.

[H. Foley]

You got to get Harlan to. Are you garbage?

[Harland Williams]

Right. Like if I'm sitting back in the. In the. In the fuselage, in ambiguity row, I call it, where they don't know me. I don't know faceless. I want to be flying with a guy and make eye contact.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Harland Williams]

And sometimes I even play REO speedwagon. I can't take this feeling anymore on my phone while we're making eye contact. And I usually get there in pretty good shape.

[Kevin Ryan]

The fuselage just sounds bad. Doesn't sounds like you're not gonna make it.

[H. Foley]

You only hear it during a wreckage. Like we. We've located the fuselage. It's never like, hey, I'm sitting back here. It's great in the fuselage.

[Harland Williams]

Well, it's a really weird word. And by the way, it's also a sex act in West Hollywood.

[H. Foley]

Just got enough cash on you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Now if you are on a plane and you're back in the fuselage as you. Yeah, you know, he's not.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's flying up front. What are you talking. Guys got cage.

[H. Foley]

That's still the fuselage. Even if the class is a fuselage, I believe.

[Harland Williams]

Right.

[H. Foley]

Will you. Will you ding the bell to let you know if you want another, you know, sun kissed or so Will you. Will you call them over? Do you wait till they make the rounds?

[Harland Williams]

It's funny, on the flight up here, I had to ding the bell like four times because the, you know, I haven't been drinking coke all year.

[H. Foley]

You said you've been doing pretty. I've been off coke since January. Only had 10.

[Harland Williams]

January I've only had 10. But on the flight I sort of broke a little.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Harland Williams]

It was a morning flight and so I dung the lady. That sounded wrong. That sounded like a German movie.

[Kevin Ryan]

They threw me off the plane.

[Harland Williams]

I dung the lady, but I dung her and she just sort of ignored it. So I wasn't going to wait. When you get a coke fix, you need it. So I dung her again and then I dung her again. I think I dung her four or five times.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really?

[Harland Williams]

Right in the fuselage? Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Were you taking off or anything like that?

[Harland Williams]

No, we were midair. But she was just sort of. She was. It was very interesting. I have a hat that says be a good human and it's a blue baseball cat. And everywhere I go, people, like, you know, they love that. They go out of their way to say, great hat. And when I walked in, this. This lady, she just went, yeah, good luck finding one of those. Oh. Like, right out of. And I thought she was goof. And I was like, yeah, yeah. But everyone, she's like, just like. Not, like, scowling, just a flight attendant. This is a flight attendant.

[Kevin Ryan]

The same flight attendant that you.

[Harland Williams]

That you had to dung four or five times. And so she. She was just not loving her life, I think. And so I had to dung her five times. Like, I dung her real deep. And. And. Yeah, so it took a. What. Funny you brought that up, because usually it's dung and done. Yeah, but this was done and not done.

[Kevin Ryan]

They recognize you on the plane walking through the airport. I'm sure people stop you. Let me get a pic.

[Harland Williams]

Yes. And that's. That sounds snobby, but that's part of the reason why I do sit up front because it's a bit confining in the fuselage. You're sort of trapped. And what happens.

[Kevin Ryan]

You don't want to be back there with the heathens.

[Harland Williams]

No, no, it's not that. What.

[H. Foley]

Amen, brother.

[Harland Williams]

What happens is when one person asks for picture, then it sort of causes a chain reaction, and next thing you know, and it's very sort of. It's flattering, but it causes anxiety. So I just try to sit up front just so I can just sort of have a little bit of privacy and. Yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

Now do you get that somewhat, because you're, you know, you're very recognizable, you've had a great career. Like, even. Just not even the pictures or anything, but you're out to dinner. Does the waiter say that? Like, hey, big fan. Do you get that a lot? They know who you. Everybody pretty much has. Can recognize you.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, I get a lot of that. Sometimes they even sit down, which is. Which is.

[H. Foley]

I'm not even joking with this mozzarella stick.

[Harland Williams]

I've had waiters where they just. They get so ingratiated with you, they just slide in. And I've had it. Even when I've been with people, like, they just. I. I was at one restaurant where I literally used to go to in la to Wolfgang Pox. And I love a foodie.

[H. Foley]

We've learned. Last time.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Like a nice restaurant.

[Harland Williams]

Foodie's a weird term. Whenever I agree. Whenever I hear a woman go, I'm a foodie, I go, day. We just called him a fatty. Really?

[H. Foley]

Tomato. Tomato.

[Harland Williams]

Good way to cover up eating A lot. I'm a foodie. Yeah, sounds like you're a foodie.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sounds like you like having sex with a duck breast.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you like a duck breast?

[Harland Williams]

I like it if the areolas are brown. I don't like pink areolas on my duck breast.

[Kevin Ryan]

South American duck. Hold on, Wolfgang Pucks. We forget about this now that we love the. You know, we love the. You know, we're very nostalgic when it comes to Hollywood around that time.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You were there.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you remember when Wolfgangs opened? Like, you were going. Were you going there in the 90s?

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. That's what I was saying. I would go there all the time, and one of the waiters, he would literally sit down with whoever I was with and start talking to us. And the first couple of times was like, hey. And then it was. He'd not only sit down, but he'd stay for, like, five, six minutes. And I literally had to go to the manager and say, look, I don't want to get your guy in trouble. He's a great guy. We love coming here, but it's very uncomfortable. I said, if you don't tell him to back off, we're not coming anymore. And can you just please talk to him in a nice way? We don't want him to get fired. He's sort of overstepping the boundaries. And we went back and it didn't stop. So we stopped going there. It was. It was. The guy was nice, but he just had no filter. He didn't realize he was really sort of imposing on an intimate moment.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know, of course, if you're having, like, a business thing or.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, business. Or with family or friends or. It was just like, it didn't matter. He just popped down and a real chatterbox. Like, it just on and on and on. And we were just like, can we get this, you know, the scallops, please guy?

[H. Foley]

He says, we get more bread around here.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're also. Which interests me from the time when, like, you know, as you were popping off, certain executives might want to, you know, work with you and stuff like that. They take you out to a dinner.

[H. Foley]

Like wine and dine.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. Yeah. It's nice to be taken out and spoiled a little bit.

[Kevin Ryan]

When you're, like, the head of Sony or CBS or something like that takes you out. Now, when you would be in that situation if, like, an executive would take. We want to be in the Harlan Williams business.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

And they take you out. Back in the day, would you be back knowing that they're going to pay, they're going to pick up the check. Would you be banging them out or were you pretty?

[Harland Williams]

No, I would. I was. I'm a big lobster guy. And there's a place in LA called the Palms, of course.

[Kevin Ryan]

The Palm restaurant.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. So I would. I would get them to take me there because I thought, you know, they got studios, make 300 billion a year.

[H. Foley]

Of course you can get a goddamn lobster.

[Harland Williams]

I'm gonna get. So I would take them to the. I would ask them to take me to the Palms and get a lobster. And it was really great because a lot of. I remember I went there once and Chris Farley was there eating. I went there once and the guy who plays Freddy Krueger was there eating. And you should have cut his steak. Oh, my God, he just played it. Yeah. But Robert England. That's right. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

That is pretty cool.

[Harland Williams]

It was a good spot. And. And you don't feel bad when. When, you know, they're. They're whining and dining you. So why not do it nice? You know, you don't get that every day.

[Kevin Ryan]

So as a comic back then, that was somewhat of a fallout, somewhat of a flex, too. You would want to go to where other comics might be having dinner. It's like, oh, look, Harlan's having dinner with fucking Robert Evans.

[Harland Williams]

I didn't care about any of that. I just liked a good lobster. It was hard to find in la.

[Kevin Ryan]

See, that's why you're classy. You're right up the middle.

[H. Foley]

Do you still like a nice lobster?

[Harland Williams]

I love it. I love it. I went yesterday to Luke's lobster here in New York.

[H. Foley]

Wow.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really?

[Harland Williams]

I got a lobster roll. Yeah, I love it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Harland Williams]

It's weird because they have it at the subway station.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's a little fast foodie, to be honest.

[Harland Williams]

It's ought to be eating an expensive lobster as a subway screeches by and it smells like a Dutch oven. It's just like, you know, people walking by and you're sitting there eating a lobster. It's very peculiar, but it's like, you know, having an omelette upside down in a helicopter. Just like, bizarre.

[Kevin Ryan]

That would be a frittata.

[H. Foley]

Where do you like to get a lobster in la? Like, where's the one place that you're going in la? You're like, I'm getting the lobster.

[Harland Williams]

Well, it was the Palm, but they shut it down recently. Oh, no. So now Palm closed in la, close.

[Kevin Ryan]

With all the pictures on the wall and all that stuff.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. And I even they even had my picture up there at one point. So I was really. Yeah. My manager took me one day and we sat down and we're having the lobster, and he just goes, look up. And I look up, and there's my face looking down. They. The artist would draw.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that's big.

[Harland Williams]

And to me, that was bigger than having a Hollywood star of fame, you know, just to have. Have my face watching people eat. Really fun. It's pretty good. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Is there anywhere else your picture is a pizza plate that, you know of a pizza place, a barber shot, something dry cleaner or something like that?

[Harland Williams]

I think it's, you know, a lot of comedy clubs. But my favorite moment.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, they're headshots, everybody.

[Harland Williams]

When I was in Tim's got his head up. Tim's got his head. Tim likes head. I. I was starting out in Hollywood and things were just sort of getting going, and, you know, you're kind of a nobody till you're somebody. And near my house, there was a Blockbuster Video, and they had a parking lot. And on the. On the little. Like the little cement blocks at the front where you pull in.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Harland Williams]

Little block, they had people's names. And one day after been going there for about two or three years, I pulled in and I pulled. And my name was on. On the thing. And that. That made me so happy. It really weird. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're in your car, ready to kill yourself. You see that?

[Harland Williams]

You're like, all right, all right, I made it. Blockbuster parking lot.

[H. Foley]

Hollywood, baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

You ever meet Carson? You ever meet Johnny Carson?

[Harland Williams]

I never met him, but I was fortunate enough to go and see the taping of two of the shows in Burbank because I had just moved to LA when he was sort of wrapping up. I think he was in his final three years.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes.

[Harland Williams]

And I knew that I wasn't there long enough to get on the show, but I thought I at least want to see it. So I got. I got. Someone helped me get tickets to go in, and I got to sit there and watch them twice come through and do it. So that was pretty special.

[H. Foley]

That's amazing.

[Harland Williams]

And then I did Star Search way back in the day, and Ed McMahon was the host, so that was like the next best thing.

[Kevin Ryan]

You were on Star Search?

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

How'd you do?

[Kevin Ryan]

This is before everything, right?

[Harland Williams]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Before the movies and all that stuff.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

How did you do?

[Harland Williams]

My first showing, I did. I got a perfect score.

[H. Foley]

What?

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. And then my second showing, I got a perfect score, except for one judge decided he hated me and gave Me, the lowest score. And so I lost to another guy by like a third of a point or something.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who was that guy? Do you remember?

[Harland Williams]

He was a DJ from San Francisco. And the producers stopped the show that they came up to me and they said, harlem. We stopped the show. I go, why? He goes, this has never happened before. We asked the judge if he made a mistake because everyone loved you. And I said, well, what have he said? He just didn't like you for whatever reason, whether my shirt was green or something. So he kind of blew it for me. But. But it was interesting. The guy that I beat on my first round was the guy that ended up winning the whole thing, which was weird because they added up all the points and he had won like three or four in a row. I knocked him out, but because of his accumulated points. So in a way, I beat the guy that won the whole thing. None of it made sense.

[Kevin Ryan]

And who was that guy? Was it somebody that became famous?

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, he's. He's this red headed. I think he's a Scottish guy and you might know him. He does this whole thing where he does a PowerPoint presentation. Tall, red headed guy. I forget his name, but his whole bit is he does a. A PowerPoint and he's very funny.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's not Harlow Williams, though.

[Harland Williams]

No, I don't even know if I am.

[H. Foley]

Man, this just got meta.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Do you know who that host was or the. The judge by any chance?

[Harland Williams]

I don't know. It was. It was a. It was a guy, a dj, an African American guy from Harvey Firestone from San Francisco. And he just didn't like it. Something I did just. And. And all the other judges gave me a perfect score and he gave me the lowest one you could get. So that was kind of a bummer.

[Kevin Ryan]

That would have been big at the time. That's 100 GS, I believe it was.

[Harland Williams]

And I was sort of. I always like taking chances. And I remember I did two new bits that I'd never done on my second outing. Like I did two new bits that I'd never even tried in a comedy club. So that probably wasn't the smartest thing, but I still did. All right. Overall.

[Kevin Ryan]

Look at you.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's why you're classy, my friend.

[Harland Williams]

Oh, geez.

[Kevin Ryan]

For all those reasons.

[Harland Williams]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Despite buzzing the lady. What? She should have brought you a goddamn soda.

[Harland Williams]

Still. Still not garbage yet. Or do you wait to the end of the show?

[H. Foley]

It was One Star Search.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, almost One Star Search. I don't think that that ruling's not gonna change, I don't think.

[H. Foley]

I mean, we'll. We'll see.

[Kevin Ryan]

Camp. Let's talk about upside.

[H. Foley]

Shout out to Upside gang.

[Kevin Ryan]

One of the smartest apps you can have in your phone in 2025 is upside. Upside gives you the power to earn more on the stuff you buy all the time. Whether you're filling up your tank, going out to eat, or shopping for groceries, the upside app lets you earn cash back on every purchase. Upside users are making as much as. How much you think?

[H. Foley]

I don't know, 50 bucks, 280 bucks a year?

[Kevin Ryan]

What? That's a little bit of cash.

[H. Foley]

That's a little bit of turkey.

[Kevin Ryan]

What are we doing here?

[H. Foley]

And everything matters at this day and age. You need every little nickel and dime you can get, you know. And listen, 280 bucks ain't no nickel and dime.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's cash back, too.

[H. Foley]

The free upside app gets you cash back on daily essentials like gas, groceries, and dining that they. We. We use our promo cod. We set one up for the for Ayg. Aunt Toady's got one. All the stuff on the road, we're bebopping the scat and we're fucking earning back and forth.

[Kevin Ryan]

She's asking for advances on it to.

[H. Foley]

Get started, she wanted that 280 in cash up front to get started, download the free upside app, use our promo code AYG and get an extra 25 cents back for every gallon on your first tank of gas. When we're on the road, that's what we're doing. We're wetting our beaks on the back end. There's over 100,000 gas stations, grocery stores and restaurants on the upside app, ensuring that the cash back is always just around the corner. You can earn earn an average of 8% on restaurant and grocery purchases. Download the free upside app and use promo code AYG to get an extra 25 cent back on every gallon on your first tank. That's an extra 25%. 25 cents back for every gallon on your first tank of gas using promo code ayg.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do it. Kevin's talking about Helix one more time.

[H. Foley]

Oh, I'll sing it for the rafters, baby.

[Harland Williams]

I love Helix.

[Kevin Ryan]

We talking about Helix from the get go. We'll be talking about to the end of time, baby. That's how much we love Helix. I'm telling you, it's got one problem. Over at Helix. The beds are too good.

[H. Foley]

Big man don't want to get out, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

I want to stay in that thing all the Time. That's my dream machine. That and the cpap. Good night. Do yourself a favor. Get over to Helix, Take the two minute quiz. Find out how you sleep. Whether you sleep on your side, on your back, whether you sleep hot, you're cold, you're a big guy, you're a small guy, are you tall? They'll match you with the perfect mattress just for you, and you'll be sleeping like a dream in no time.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Age fully guaranteed. Tell them it was one. I mean, I've been using a Helix mattress for at least four years. When they signed on, they were nice enough to send me one. I was the first one to use it. I gotta tell you, there ain't no going back at all. I'm Helix through and through. So go to helixsleep.com garbage for 20% off site wide, baby. That's helixsleep.com garbage for twenty percent off site wide. Helixleep.com garbage. Do it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do it.

[H. Foley]

Now, back to the show, but let's get into it. So as you guys know, when you join the Patreon, we will answer your garbage question on the air. Let's see here. This one, you know, you're at home. This is from Trav. Hit me as a gentleman of class. Is it garbage to leave your peanut butter knife on the edge of the sink for the next use rather than immediately washing? Will you do that with any utensil? If you're making something, you kind of set it off to the side or will you. Will you. Will you wash?

[Harland Williams]

Depends what it is. But peanut butter is good because I do do that. I leave it. But it's. It's so viscous that you can just get a paper towel and go. And it's clean. You don't even have to wash it under the water. Yeah, but if it's like spaghetti sauce or Thai food where it, like, affixes itself and it encrusts it, then you sort of gotta wash it, you know? Okay, but I'll only do it if I run out of utensils. Like, if I open the drawing, I go, oh, I got no more forks left. I'll go. I just. I ate tie with this one last night. Let's wash it. My garbage.

[H. Foley]

Picture Harlan Williams running out of forks for something.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now I can't either.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, we know.

[Kevin Ryan]

The house is nice. We know, we know. You got a nice set of silverware in here.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, I do.

[H. Foley]

You better believe it, sister.

[Harland Williams]

I actually bought my silver. This is a wheel store. A weird story at Glenn Campbell's garage sale. His estate sale. This guy. What?

[H. Foley]

Who's going? Campbell.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean?

[Harland Williams]

He's an old country Campbell. I am. The lines. Hello, rhinestone cowboy.

[H. Foley]

I apologize.

[Harland Williams]

I've been crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

See, that kind of is so cool to me.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

So being in Hollywood at that time, when all those guys were getting old and stuff like that.

[Harland Williams]

Dying.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

They could add their lampshade.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I love that.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. So I bought his utensils. And they're. They're kind of really cool. They're like. They have like. What are those things? Rhinestones on them. And they're just. They're kind of. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I got horse hair on.

[H. Foley]

They're all got tassels on them.

[Harland Williams]

No, they're really cool, like custom.

[H. Foley]

Those guys that set you back, do you remember?

[Harland Williams]

It wasn't that much. I think they wanted about. I think it was about 200 bucks for the whole sale.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is that an auction situation?

[Harland Williams]

No, this is like an estate sale.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know what that. How does that work?

[Harland Williams]

Estate sales? It's like a fancy term for a garage sale, but it's more like people with money that they can't say garage sale. So you go to the house. I went up to his mansion. Yeah. Up in Beverly Hills. And there. That's the only thing I really wanted. I got his utensils. Unbelievable.

[Kevin Ryan]

Anybody else you go to? You go to anybody else's estate sales like that?

[Harland Williams]

Who did I go to? I went to Farrah Fawcett's and got some underwear. No. This is weird. I don't even know if I should talk about this one. Okay.

[H. Foley]

I mean, that's totally your call.

[Harland Williams]

Well, she was part of my childhood. She was famous. And she had. She did that famous poster with the red bathing suit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Of course.

[Harland Williams]

And as you know, in the end she got the cancer, which was. And so she had to get a bunch of wigs made. And so when I went to her estate sale, I got. Grab three or four of the wigs and sometimes I. I'll put on the red bathing. Okay. Well.

[H. Foley]

Harland after dark.

[Harland Williams]

Hey.

[H. Foley]

Wow.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't think he's kidding.

[H. Foley]

That one. That one can go either way, and I respect it. My man.

[Harland Williams]

Right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey.

[H. Foley]

They each their own, you know.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. And I'll ice my nipples and get.

[Kevin Ryan]

Them good and hard.

[Harland Williams]

Well, you asked peanut butter wise.

[Kevin Ryan]

You chunky. You chunky? Are you smooth?

[Harland Williams]

What do you like? I like chunky now and then. When I was a kid, I dug it more. Now I sort of like the smooth.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. But I'll go both ways.

[Kevin Ryan]

But smooth. Is that a staple in the Williams home?

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is there a jar of peanut butter? Always there.

[Harland Williams]

There's a jar of peanut butter. Cause I play a lot of sports, so sometimes if I'm not, like, you know, if I. If I need a kick, I know, like, I'll just spread some peanut butter on two pieces of bread. Red. And then, boom, I got some.

[H. Foley]

I gotcha. And what is the drink with that? As a soda man, we've talked. I'm a. I was a soda man for a long time. What are you drinking with that? You make. You make a peanut butter sandwich, you sit down to watch some tv. What's. What's the beverage?

[Harland Williams]

I love apple juice. Whoa. And sometimes a lot of sugar, I feel. But just sometimes, just because I like. I like, like a kick, you know, and it's gonna sound odd, I'll drink a straight teriyaki. Teriyaki sauce.

[H. Foley]

Take the edge off a little bit.

[Harland Williams]

After a long day or straight out of the bottle. Suck it like a demented gerbil.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't hate it. I love it. Theriac.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nice and sweet. Little club soda.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're an apple juice man.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

That is interesting.

[H. Foley]

What brand do you do? Do you do moths or. Do you like that? Or get the name?

[Kevin Ryan]

Is it Martinelli's?

[Harland Williams]

I like the Motts. Yeah, I'll do the Motts. I'm a Mott's guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

What about Martinelli's? Do you know Martinelli?

[Harland Williams]

I have two Martinelli's, too. They usually come in the glass bottle. They're like sort of the champagne of. Of apple juice.

[Kevin Ryan]

Delicious.

[Harland Williams]

I remember I. I had a pool party once at my house, and I.

[H. Foley]

Invited Martinelli as far as the eye could see.

[Harland Williams]

I invited Will Ferrell up, and, you know, we had all these people around, and as a joke, I said, can I get you a drink, Will? And he. I guess he wasn't drinking. And I. He said, what do you got? And I said, I got, you know, this. That apple juice. And he said, give me an apple juice. So as a gag, I, like, got an apple juice. Excuse me. And I put all this stuff in it. Like, I put, like, clamato juice and, like, milk and mustard. Like, I just filled it with crap. And I didn't think he drank it. So I go out and I hand it to him, and he takes a big drink. He goes, yeah, that's my Mott. I always remembered that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Okay. Growing up at any point or can you Weigh in on this. If you go to someone's house, is it garbage if the toilet water is blue, like they have the cleaner in it.

[Harland Williams]

Right.

[H. Foley]

How do you. Do you have that? If not, how do you feel about that if you go to someone's house?

[Harland Williams]

I. You know, it's. That's a weird one. It's.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's an old school thing.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. I think it's okay because it shows that someone's trying to be clean, taking.

[H. Foley]

Care of the property.

[Harland Williams]

Either that or some avatars live in their house or a smurf drowned in the middle of the night, something. But I think it's fine, you know, I mean, blue. What it also does is it masks your pee.

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Harland Williams]

So you don't have to look at yellow. You get to look at a nice hue of blue. So it's almost like looking into a tropical sunset or something. Like a Caribbean. And if you blow a conch shell while you're peeing, it really seals the deal. And if I have my Farrah Fawcett.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wig on, this would make a lot more.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Is it hard to be with an erection, though?

[Kevin Ryan]

How many bathrooms are in. In the house right now?

[Harland Williams]

In the house? Yes, my house.

[Kevin Ryan]

In your house.

[Harland Williams]

Oh, man. So he gets you guys. You guys.

[H. Foley]

Doesn't like giving up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Doesn't like giving up the inside.

[Harland Williams]

I'll tell you.

[H. Foley]

Put a wig in. A wig in a bathing suit on.

[Harland Williams]

And whack off my private guy. You guys are pushing me to the limit here. There's three in my.

[Kevin Ryan]

In my house, one downstairs. Like a powder room.

[Harland Williams]

No, I live on a flat level house. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, three. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

It's pretty good.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

So we were over at the house for the pool party. Is there a designated bathroom that we can go into?

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, yeah. In the guest room.

[Kevin Ryan]

In the guest room, yeah. Now, what if I went into the bathroom in. In. In your room? Would you be upset with that?

[Harland Williams]

No. If you were invited guest and you needed to go in there, that'd be fine.

[Kevin Ryan]

I can go anywhere.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Can he poop in there? Would you. Would not.

[Harland Williams]

I wouldn't know. I wouldn't know. I don't.

[H. Foley]

You would know.

[Harland Williams]

I don't stand and watch my guests.

[H. Foley]

The homeowners association would be called.

[Harland Williams]

I don't go in with them. I give them the credibility that they know how to do a pee or a movement on their own.

[H. Foley]

But now, how do you feel about that situation if you were at someone's house? Right.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Let's just say you're at a holiday Party, you know, it's. You've been there for two or three hours, you've eaten, but you still gotta open the presents or whatever. There's still a couple hours of. And yeah, you get the feeling you have to go to the bathroom quite bad. A number two. And the only bathroom is by kind of where the festivities are happening. Do you feel okay going into the primary bedroom and going into their. Their bathroom and taking a number two? There was that. Would that feel okay for you?

[Harland Williams]

Well, it's an uncomfortable thing, obviously, so I. For years, I try to figure a way around it. And I consulted with my doctor, he got me a nice colostomy bath.

[H. Foley]

There you go.

[Harland Williams]

So I can go anywhere. I can be sitting there opening presents or saying grace or doing a podcast.

[H. Foley]

Doing it right here.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. Drop a sea cucumber while I'm celebrating.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

If you were at, like a fancy Hollywood party.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

The who's who is there.

[H. Foley]

And we're there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right. You had to. Now we're talking celebrities. Jack Nicholson, Mel Gibson. I don't know who else. Everybody.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Danny DeVito.

[Kevin Ryan]

Danny DeVito. And you had to use the. You had to go. Would you leave?

[Harland Williams]

I would leave the party, yeah.

[H. Foley]

That's what you do.

[Harland Williams]

Oh, I thought you said if I had to go.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, if you had to take. If you had to make a doo doo.

[Harland Williams]

No, no. What I do is I do one of those fake Hollywood hugs, and as I was hugging DeVito, I'd squish one out into my colostomy bag.

[H. Foley]

No one. No one's done the wise.

[Harland Williams]

He wouldn't know. He would just think there was a caterpillar crawling up my back or something. Too soon.

[H. Foley]

All right, let's see. This is what, speaking of celebrity is a big celebrity heavy. This is from Victor. His question is, does your family have any multi generational beefs with a celebrity? Back in the day, my mom worked in a restaurant, and George Thorogood came in the restaurant, comped his meal, and he unfortunately didn't tip. Growing up, every time a Thoroughgood song came on, my mom would turn it off. That being said, I still don't listen to him to this day. And I'm gonna raise my son the same way.

[Harland Williams]

Whoa.

[H. Foley]

Have you had any. Is there any, you know, not beefs, obviously, but, like, you know, is there anybody your family didn't like growing up? Like? Yeah, we don't listen to them. We don't watch this, like, out of. Out of some sort of odd interpretive beef.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. One of my sisters was a Waitress at a diner.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Harland Williams]

And I already don't know if I can believe him. I just noticed a sister at a diner. What's so hard to believe?

[H. Foley]

That's how good you are.

[Kevin Ryan]

I just noticed the tape measure on her. His waist.

[Harland Williams]

Holy shit.

[H. Foley]

He's got a 25 foot Stanley tape measure on him.

[Harland Williams]

Well, I like to measure things when I'm walking around. I've got like. Remember when Jack Nicholson and as good as couldn't step over crash? I measure everything. Like, I saw a guy coming at me today down the sidewalk and I measured the space between his eyes and it was 11 inches. So I crossed the street and went the other way. Yeah, like that just makes me uncomfortable.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a weird looking dude.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. Get to the doctor.

[Kevin Ryan]

Good luck finding a pair of set of sunglasses.

[Harland Williams]

God. Freak.

[H. Foley]

I saw. It's funny, I saw him put it on over there. I saw him putting something on his belt, but it didn't register.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, I like to just sort of.

[H. Foley]

So you traveled with that? You got on a plane with the tape measure?

[Harland Williams]

Oh, yeah. The guy sitting beside me. I was like, sir, I need your arm to be a foot and three inches. Do not touch me. Yeah, so that's okay. Everyone has their quirks.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

So your sister's working at a diner.

[Harland Williams]

She's working at a diner. And who walks in? None other than Nelly Furtado. You know this one?

[Kevin Ryan]

I know exactly.

[Harland Williams]

I just.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just saw a clip of hers yesterday.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

So funny.

[H. Foley]

And this had to be recently then.

[Harland Williams]

Well, she's gotten big. Yeah, Nellie's gotten big. And my, she, she. My sister's, you know, she said she's a foodie. She's a foodie. Yeah. And she ordered a vanilla milkshake. And my sister was like, we're out of ice cream. Like we, we just. The shipment didn't come in and she threw a hissy fit. And she goes, I want a vanilla milkshake, B. She called her the. She said. She didn't even say that. She said biosh. Like, she said, I want a vanilla milkshake Biosh. And my sister said, we don't have. We don't have any milk. And she stood up and she goes, I'll show you what milk is. Biosh. And she pulled her right thunder jug out and slapped my sister right across the face. And my sister came home with an areola mark on her cheek. Looked like she'd been stung by a jellyfish, but it was actually Nelly Furtado's giant areola.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now would that keep you from Listening to her music and passing that on from generation to generation, never listening. Slapped your aunt in the face.

[Harland Williams]

No, my sister, it. Actually, that would be.

[Kevin Ryan]

If it was the next generation, it.

[Harland Williams]

Would be their aunt, but it was my sister.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I'm saying you would be telling the next generation of your family.

[Harland Williams]

This is my story, guys.

[H. Foley]

Hey, buddy. This is the story I'm making up.

[Harland Williams]

But I started listening to her more because I didn't. I don't really like my sister.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Harland Williams]

And she probably had that Furtado tit coming.

[H. Foley]

I know.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. Yeah. Are you a Frittinelli Furtado fan?

[Kevin Ryan]

Is it?

[Harland Williams]

I'm.

[H. Foley]

She's like. I'm like a bird. I'm like. A bird's a hit.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Came out 25 years ago this month.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I swear to God, I just saw Billboard over. It was. I saw a YouTube short yesterday of five songs that came out 25 years ago today.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

And that was one of them.

[Harland Williams]

She's Greek.

[Kevin Ryan]

She is Greek.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, Cutie, too. Wow.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very cute.

[H. Foley]

You guys in the fan club. The hell? You know, all these random Furtado facts.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

She's a big star.

[Harland Williams]

Frittado. By the way, also a sex act in West Hollywood.

[Kevin Ryan]

That one invented by Harlan Williams.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. And the full act is a Nelly Frittado. If you ever want to do the full Nelly frappe. There you go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ah, the Greek. I'm tying it all in.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, you are.

[Kevin Ryan]

See, we're riffing here, Kippy, and I know.

[H. Foley]

I'm with it.

[Harland Williams]

All right.

[H. Foley]

This one's from Augustus. Do you think it's garbage or smart to fuse the last bit of an old bar of soap with a new bar?

[Harland Williams]

That sort of garbage. That's garbage.

[H. Foley]

Okay. I respect it.

[Harland Williams]

Soap is so cheap.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Harland Williams]

Like, why go through all that stuff to fuse something together?

[H. Foley]

Especially when you got a brand new big one right there.

[Harland Williams]

I mean, that's science. That's how they create new species of trees, by the way. They actually fuse branches together and the DNA intertwines and they make, like, you know, different types of fruit, you know, trees.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's how you end up with a dire wolf.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. That's sort of, you know, so you don't need to be sure.

[H. Foley]

It's a lot, huh?

[Harland Williams]

You don't want to blend, like, Irish Spring with dial, you know, because in Ireland, that's a time bomb.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's Protestant shit right there.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I assume you're not a bar man these days. Right. I'm sure you're some type of body.

[H. Foley]

Wash. A liquid Soap.

[Harland Williams]

No, I like both. Okay. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

What is your proper disposal of the end of a bar of soap.

[Harland Williams]

When it's that little thing, there's a correct answer.

[H. Foley]

Turns into like wet paper.

[Harland Williams]

I just sort of throw it on the shower floor and press it into the drain. I have a drain with all the little holes. Looks like Bryan Adams face when he was 17. And I just.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's rude.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, that's.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, they're called Canadian.

[Harland Williams]

They're called pockmarks. And what I do is I just press it in and then the water slowly dissolves it and I hope it goes out to the sea and washes a dirty fat. That bull shark. Because they're dirty.

[H. Foley]

You better believe it's.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

The proper answer. The garbage answer. See, again, why am I classy? That's. I don't know if that's classy, but that's not the trash answer. The trash answer is you take it and you put it in the turlet. That's what we always did.

[H. Foley]

I don't think you should be flushing that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. You put in a toilet and it disintegrates even more and you just flush it away. That's what my mom always did. It was always one sitting.

[H. Foley]

She's a plumber, so you got to listen to her.

[Harland Williams]

But what's the difference?

[H. Foley]

Like if you go to the same place.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, there's no difference.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's just one happens to be trashier than the.

[Harland Williams]

Okay. Okay.

[H. Foley]

I might have to push back on.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You know, I don't think one's try. I don't listen there. You know, I don't think Queen's doing either one of them. Of course, I think using your feet, you know, tends to be a little.

[Kevin Ryan]

Trashier, I'll give you that.

[Harland Williams]

But think of it.

[H. Foley]

I've done that in the past.

[Harland Williams]

What is the function of so to clean yourself. How often have you ever lifted your foot and washed the bottom of your foot?

[H. Foley]

Never once.

[Harland Williams]

So for practical reasons, if you put it on the floor of the shower in its last act before it dissipates, you're actually using it for what it was made for. You're washing the bottom of your foot, whereas you're putting a chunk in the water of the toilet. That has no practical purpose.

[Kevin Ryan]

I agree.

[H. Foley]

So now that's even the classy answer.

[Harland Williams]

I think we won that one.

[Kevin Ryan]

But that would stand.

[H. Foley]

I beat you by two feet.

[Harland Williams]

If that's.

[Kevin Ryan]

That stands a reason that you only wash your feet once every six months. Because how often are you running out Of.

[H. Foley]

I mean, if you think a bar is so blessed. Six months. I think that's our first problem. That's. That's it.

[Kevin Ryan]

You think less than six months?

[H. Foley]

Significantly less than six months.

[Harland Williams]

Nobody washes the bottom of their feet. Have you ever stood in the shower and with. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

So I would say, help us.

[Harland Williams]

So you're almost doing yourself a favor by stomping it into the bottom of the shower and you're washing your feet. You're. You're, you're utilizing that product to the very, very end, which is.

[Kevin Ryan]

Which is classy. Which is what I'm saying. I'm saying the trashier version is to put it in the toilet.

[Harland Williams]

Right.

[H. Foley]

If you guys got confused, you have how long? About a month.

[Kevin Ryan]

About a month.

[H. Foley]

That's what they're saying. You are six times dirtier than the rest of the Americans walking around.

[Kevin Ryan]

According to nine out of ten. That's.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Fair enough. Wild kit, what do you know about Pesty?

[H. Foley]

Oh, baby, I did it two weeks ago out of the burbs, gang.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's the springtime, and you got the bugs starting to come out of the woodwork. You know, they hibernate in the winter. They start crawling around the spideys, creepy crawlers. Everybody starts getting around. Do yourself a favor. Get over to Pesty Pet Friendly Kid Friendly Bug repellent. And take it from the bug man. He knows.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, with pesties, do it yourself. Pest control, you can protect your home easily and at a quarter of the cost. Other pest control Companies charge over $800 a year. But with pesi, you can get started at just 35 bucks per treatment with a customized plan based on your location, your bugs, and your climate. They do it all. They look up. Beep, boop, bop. This is where you're at. This is what it is. Bada bing, bada boom. Listen, my wife is. My wife got us on Pesti two years ago. I've been using it for two years. Way before they even knew they were gonna be a sponsor.

[Kevin Ryan]

Love it.

[H. Foley]

It's fantastic. You come over, you feel like. You feel like the bug man. You're doing it all out. It's easy peasy. I just did it. I'm not even more than. No more than two weeks ago. I was out in the burbs. John Q. Homeowner, taking care of my house, protecting my family and my dog from bugs.

[Kevin Ryan]

Safe for the kids, Safe from the. From the. For the dog.

[H. Foley]

If you guys have pets out there, you know that's the number one thing. Say, you can't Be dumping chemicals all over now. So here it is, baby. Protect your home and protect your home from bugs. With pesty go to pesky.com ayg for an extra 10% off your order. That's Pesty. P E s t I e.com ayg for an extra 10% off. Do it.

[Kevin Ryan]

KB Shopify.

[H. Foley]

Shopify. Shopify. Shopify.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shopify. Shopify. Shopify is right, gang. If you run a small business, you know there's nothing small about it. It's a big deal, all right. And if you want to run your business right, your online business, you got to be using Shopify. It's just how things work. Everybody's using it. We're a Shopify family. We know we got a lot of hustlers out there, a lot of people doing side gigs and all that kind of stuff that that's what they really want to be doing. Get linked up with Shopify and take your business to the next level.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands like us. Ayg we are a Shopify company that's big market share. Tackles all the important tasks in one place. Inventory, payments, analytics and everything. Makes marketing, makes the marketing minefield easy. With built in tools, running social media, email campaigns, the whole nine yards with over. With 99.99% uptime and the best converting checkout on the planet, you'll never miss a sale again. Only with Shopify is if in person is more your thing. Shopify award winning point of sale connects your online and offline sales all in one place. We use it on the road. If you buy a T shirt on the road, bada bing. It's all through Shopify. Here's the turkey. Get all the big stuff from your small business with Shopify. Sign up for the $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com garbage. Go to shopify.com garbage shopify.com garbage do it. Back to the show. All right, let's see here. This is from Turd Ferguson. Do you know anybody or have you ever been sprayed by a skunk?

[Harland Williams]

No, I've. I've been close. I've been around a lot of skunks in my life.

[H. Foley]

Where at? I mean your travels or.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, I used to. I mean I spent a lot of time in nature and even in, in la, there's a ton of skunks. I was sitting in my living room one Night watching tv. And one came running. I used to leave the door open in the summer. One came running right in. I'm laying on my couch, got about halfway to me, and I just run. Hey. And he turned around and ran back.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would have freaked out.

[Harland Williams]

But they're an amazing animal because you know every other animal in the animal kingdom as some kind of defense, claws or fangs or. Or teeth. And. And this is the only animal in the animal kingdom as a main line of defense. Shoots ass sauce. Yeah, it's like. It's just like ass Gatorade. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Just all over you.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. It's like it turns around, shows you its calamari ring, which other than that.

[Kevin Ryan]

They'Re cute as a button.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, adorable. Some people have them as pets. They get them descented, landed. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

We had.

[Kevin Ryan]

We had a family of them living underneath our house for a long time. And it was. It was bad.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, they.

[Kevin Ryan]

That couldn't get rid of them.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. And that odor is just incredible.

[Kevin Ryan]

Tried to cover it up with mothballs. It was bad. Died in the house.

[Harland Williams]

Oh, no.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was the 80s. What are you gonna do?

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, it's a wild time. Yeah. A rough time.

[H. Foley]

All right, let's see here. This one's from Cameron 10, homie. See, are you garbage? If you grew up eating ketchup on everything. Cheetos, steak, corn, everything.

[Harland Williams]

Well, I grew up in Canada and we actually had ketchup flavored potato chips.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very popular.

[H. Foley]

We discovered them on this show.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. So we didn't have to kind of dip stuff into it. A lot of our food products already had it. Yeah. But, yeah, I think you can overdo it. It's like scrambled eggs, French fries, grilled cheese, and not much else.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Harland Williams]

I think if you do it in on anything else, you're a piece of garbage. Sure.

[H. Foley]

Do you keep it in the house, the ketchup? Yeah, yeah. Do you. Do you constantly have it in the fridge?

[Harland Williams]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

We're doing Heinz. You're doing hunts, you're doing Heinz.

[Harland Williams]

There's that little. People don't know this a lot of the time, but there's this little. Little on the glass bottles of it. They've got the 57, right. You hit the 57 and it. That's what knocks it out.

[H. Foley]

That was when I learned that you, like, supposed to spin it and there's like little 57s and grid. You know this.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. Of course.

[H. Foley]

Half the 57s. I learned that as like a 12 year old and man. Blew my mind.

[Harland Williams]

You ever do that? When you're doing the 69 position, your partner on the hip, boy, it gets.

[Kevin Ryan]

Messed up on you.

[H. Foley]

Well, get you with her glands real quick.

[Harland Williams]

You decide. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I haven't touched your coke or your.

[Harland Williams]

Oh, yeah. Thank you. Let's crack that sucker open.

[H. Foley]

Whoa.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was like. That was good. Effervescent.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, it's pretty good.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know, you gotta watch. You're a California man. You're not gonna be able to get that out there.

[Harland Williams]

What?

[Kevin Ryan]

Because they're taking. You're not allowed to have the. The dyes in them anymore.

[Harland Williams]

Is that right?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, they're going to start making them the way they do in Europe.

[Harland Williams]

Well, what else is going to make you die faster than some nice dye?

[Kevin Ryan]

Figure something out.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, we've got our best guys on it.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. Wow, that's sad.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it'll probably be just as good.

[Harland Williams]

It's like salmon. They say most salmon, farmed salmon is white. It's. It's like they. They add the pink coloring. So you're supposed to buy wild. Wild caught salmon.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Harland Williams]

But the farm stuff is. Is just like a bland color, like sort of like this coffee cup.

[Kevin Ryan]

And it's actually theoretically, if you want to get technical. I do from my server experience. It's not really salmon. It's trout.

[Harland Williams]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Lucas, get eyes on that.

[Harland Williams]

Go ahead.

[H. Foley]

I'm not. I'm just saying. I've never heard of that.

[Harland Williams]

The farmed salmon is salmon. I've seen the salmon farms.

[Kevin Ryan]

Luke, you're talking about the salmon farms in Scotland.

[Harland Williams]

No, like off the coast of Alaska and British Columbia.

[H. Foley]

They're.

[Harland Williams]

They're like co host salmon with the.

[Kevin Ryan]

With the. With the tents around those huge giant pools.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

That might be real salmon.

[Harland Williams]

There's. Because they're salt water. Trout are freshwater fish.

[Kevin Ryan]

A lot of the salmon on the. Am I right?

[H. Foley]

You're wrong. Oh, what do you have?

[Kevin Ryan]

They don't know.

[H. Foley]

Did he mix any factor? If you find it. Anything that he's basing this off of. There's a term salmon trout. Because trout are fresh water and will sometimes be in the fords. But you're wrong.

[Kevin Ryan]

How am I wrong?

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Because salmon or trout are different.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right.

[Harland Williams]

I'm a fisherman, so you can't.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can't get. I'm winning.

[Harland Williams]

Why don't you fill a it instead?

[H. Foley]

Get Freddy Krueger over here.

[Harland Williams]

You can't get around me with any fish stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hold on.

[H. Foley]

You a big fisherman?

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Salmon, trout.

[H. Foley]

Trout.

[Kevin Ryan]

So what does that mean?

[Harland Williams]

That's a species.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, a species of salmon.

[Harland Williams]

It's a salmon that's probably in the trout. If it's fresh water, it's a trout.

[H. Foley]

It refer. Yeah, it's a salmon trout, which is a trout. It's a kind of trout.

[Kevin Ryan]

So I'm saying they pass that off as salmon is what I'm saying.

[Harland Williams]

No, but I guess technically, because it's got both names, you could go to a restaurant. Oh, would enjoy the salmon trout. Like they just say it.

[H. Foley]

It's confusing to people like you. Yeah, well, you're gonna hear about that in a weekly meeting. Do they serve salmon trout?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes. Is the salmon trout farm raised and served at restaurants passed off as salmon?

[Harland Williams]

Not likely. They always, they only farm the fish that are in high demand. Like catfish. Salmon, things like that. Oh yeah. Catfish are harvested. They, they have huge catfish farms in, in Asia.

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh? Yeah, that I didn't know.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. And salmon, they have lots of.

[Kevin Ryan]

Have you ever been canoodling?

[Harland Williams]

Noodling.

[Kevin Ryan]

Have you done that?

[Harland Williams]

I haven't done it, but I wrote a movie about it and we're waiting to get funding for it.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, yeah, I wrote a movie for me and Kirk Fox.

[Kevin Ryan]

Love that Kirk.

[Harland Williams]

So we were actually just waiting to find out about getting the funding for a movie called Noodlers because I. That's fascinated. It's a form of fishing where you use your arm to catch 50, 60 pound catfish in the muddy rivers. It's only legal in 16 states.

[Kevin Ryan]

They show chicks doing it too, like chicks bikini.

[Harland Williams]

And you have to have a spotter because the fish are so big. You're standing in the river, the fish can get so big they can actually pull you under. Catfish don't have traditional teeth. They have little. It's almost like sandpaper. They have little, like little nubs, these rough little.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, their arms are always to grip a little bit.

[Harland Williams]

So when, when they, they dig these big cavernous caves in the banks of the muddy rivers and, and the noodlers walk along and they find. And they put their arm in. And traditionally these caves is where the, the catfish deliver their babies. And so as a protective measure, they lash out and they engulf the arm and you have to pull these catfish up.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would freak out.

[Harland Williams]

With your arm on. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can't they slap you too? I thought catfish can hit you with their tail.

[Harland Williams]

I mean if they, if, if you lifted them up, any fish could do that. But catfish also in their, in their side fins, the front of their fin is a bone. It's almost like, like a needle.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, okay.

[Harland Williams]

So that's, that can cut you that.

[H. Foley]

Was when you were kids fishing. We catch a catfish.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

That was careful. Go through your hand. I know. It got Wally. It went through his hand.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. And everyone thought it was the whiskers, but it was scary in front of those fins. Yeah. Yeah. But they're a delicious fish to eat.

[H. Foley]

Now, how do you, as a. As a noodling expert yourself, how do they know? Do they know it's in that hole at the time or they just reaching? Because it's. I've seen somewhere they go, there's one in here. How do they know?

[Harland Williams]

Do they. Well, usually the water is muddy, so they're just feeling around. They get a sense of it and then they. They kind of feel the hole and, you know, they have to guess. Like any form of fishing.

[Kevin Ryan]

But imagine sticking your hands in there. That f. Bug me out.

[Harland Williams]

Sure. Yeah. It'd be pretty weird. And you're. You gotta remember you're talking about waters that are, you know, filled with snakes, water moccasins, some cases alligators. Yeah. So it's. It's a pretty fascinating form of fishing. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

What's. Are you. Would you. Do you prefer fresh water or salt water?

[Harland Williams]

I like.

[H. Foley]

Are you a salmon man or a salmon? Can you fly trout man?

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, I. I like both. I've fished for salmon. I. I've fished for, you know, giant king salmon. And I went. I went fishing with Henry Salmon fishing with Henry Winkler once, believe it or not.

[Kevin Ryan]

No kidding.

[Harland Williams]

The fonts, the fawns. And then I also have fly fished. I love fly fishing. That's a whole different kind of. It's all in the wrist. It's a whole different way of fishing. It's a great form of fishing because you're in the fish's element. You're sure you're standing in their world in the water. So you feel the energy of the water. And when you hit that fish, you're really connecting. There's a real serenity to it. It's like that movie that Robert Redford.

[Kevin Ryan]

Brad Pitt, the River Runs Through It.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, they kind of.

[Kevin Ryan]

Norman McClane.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, they sort of. In the beginning of that movie and at the end they bookend it with the serenity and the connectivity with nature. When you fly fish, it's a whole different level of. I recommend it to anyone. It's very. It's quite a beautiful experience.

[Kevin Ryan]

And great movie too, by the way.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. For the most part, you. You normally do catch with. With a. When you're fly fishing and you use really small little hooks so that the fish have A much more higher percentage of escaping. It's a real sort of like no barbs. It's sort of like the gentleman's form of fishing, but it's. There's a real connectivity to it.

[Kevin Ryan]

See? Classy guy.

[H. Foley]

Classic. I gotta give it a try.

[Kevin Ryan]

His three sodas. What'd you find out about the salmon trout?

[H. Foley]

They're different. Same thing. Restaurants aren't serving it saying it's salmon are serving it. Salmon trout's actually more expensive. I don't think they're serving it salmon though. I mean, I did a quick. I could be wrong. I'm sure some places might be, but as a whole it's not. I don't think they're bamboozled on us as you.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know what the hell he's talking.

[Harland Williams]

Well, there's also a speckled trout. There's saltwater trout too. There's a speckled trout in the Gulf of Mexico called speckled trout, but there's also a freshwater speckled trout. There's freshwater. Yeah. Gulf of freshwater bass and saltwater bass. So there is crossover, but okay. Salmon is traditionally salt water, but when they spawn, they go into fresh water tributaries. By the way, what a way to mate too. They just like slide up beside their girl, they flap around, they ejaculate and then take off.

[H. Foley]

You've never seen a meat do it.

[Harland Williams]

I guess humans did that. My God, Subway would be.

[Kevin Ryan]

Be a mess.

[H. Foley]

Luke lobster all over the place.

[Kevin Ryan]

To mention the laws. Lawsuits. Jesus Christ.

[H. Foley]

All right, that's. This one's from Josh and that you're a soda, soda man. Well documented. Say you're on a plane, right? They give you the can you dung a couple times, come over, they'll give you the can.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wait, hold on. Pause that real quick. I'm sorry, when you do get. When you. I'm prove myself out of that. When you do get a soda on the plane, do you say, give me a glass with ice and the can or do you accept just the. The cup of it?

[Harland Williams]

They usually ask. I don't go out of my way, so I'll just. Whatever they offer up, really. I'll say, yeah, give me the can. Or if they don't, I'll just because you're trapped on a plane so you can dung them all day long.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very true. I always say, give me the. Give me this can. I thought a soda man like you would say, give me a glass of ice and the whole can.

[Harland Williams]

Well, the only problem is when you're on a plan, a plane is precarious. And it's always so the more things of liquid around you, the more chance of a spill or an accident. So. So I just kind of go with the flow.

[Kevin Ryan]

I want the whole can.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, you can dung whenever you want, baby. Yeah, dung it.

[H. Foley]

Now, let's. Okay, let's say you get the small little, you know, like rocks. Glass. They give you. There's a few ice cubes in there. You're enjoying your. Your Coke, your Sunkiss, your whatever. Diet doctor.

[Harland Williams]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

SunKiss.

[H. Foley]

On a plane when Harlan's flying, they give it to them. They got it in the cockpit. They don't give it to the fuselage.

[Harland Williams]

They fly too high. There's some sun. Kiss.

[H. Foley]

Will you tell. Will you try to get the ice out of the bottom of the cup?

[Harland Williams]

No.

[H. Foley]

Will you chew it? No. I don't trust you're anti ice.

[Harland Williams]

Well, on an airplane, I'm very. I know it's probably a bit of a phobia, but it's like I don't trust. Just like I don't. I would never drink the water in the bathroom on a plane. Like, it's. Of course, it's like. So I. I don't know. But I always associate the ice with it. I understand normal water.

[H. Foley]

It's a gray water.

[Harland Williams]

It probably is normal, but I just got it in my head. It's like I'll tolerate it in my drink, but I ain't chewing it. But it's probably perfectly fine. But I just got it. My head.

[Kevin Ryan]

It is. I've seen them loading their regular bags of ice.

[H. Foley]

No, they're not making it on the floor, but they're not disinfecting that container every between Cleveland and Pittsburgh.

[Kevin Ryan]

I agree.

[Harland Williams]

They're not making ice on the flat.

[H. Foley]

The energy of the gas alone will kill you.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what I thought years ago.

[Harland Williams]

Sir. They're not making ice on the flame. How dare you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Salmon. Trout. Get out of here.

[H. Foley]

Goldfish. Shark. You idiot.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's all trout. What are you talking about?

[H. Foley]

Good Lord, we got it.

[Kevin Ryan]

What was the question?

[H. Foley]

Well, will you take the. Will you. This was. Will you start eating the ice out of the bottom of your soda cup at dinner? Or even more trashy, which I caught myself doing last week. Well, you pick the bits of bread off the table or like on the plate. Like if you're done and your plate sitting there and there's a couple of crumbs of bread, bigger crumbs of bread. Will you like. I'll put my finger on it and take it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. Yeah, yeah. 100.

[H. Foley]

I doubt Mr. Williams is doing that in Spago.

[Harland Williams]

No, no. I don't do the crumb thing in a regular.

[Kevin Ryan]

In a regular setting.

[Harland Williams]

What am I a chickadee for God's sake. By the way. By the way, Chickadee. How egotistical are they?

[H. Foley]

I'm not even sure I know what that is.

[Harland Williams]

It's a little bird and their call is chickadee. They say their own name like how stuck up. I think the whippoorwill is the only other bird.

[H. Foley]

What's the whippoorwill?

[Harland Williams]

They're another bird that says they chirp. They go whipper. Will Whipper. Will.

[H. Foley]

See, I grew up with a Will Whipper. That's odd.

[Harland Williams]

Wow.

[Kevin Ryan]

Will Whipper.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. What's going. What's going on in your basement? Holy God.

[H. Foley]

Little freak turning into Harland over here.

[Harland Williams]

Wow.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was going to ask you in a non airplane ice setting.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Submarine. They make their own ice.

[Harland Williams]

Sir.

[Kevin Ryan]

Salmon trout, 9 o'clock. Salmon trout dead ahead, sir.

[H. Foley]

Did he immediately fell into that at the first second of Submarine.

[Kevin Ryan]

Have you ever played a. A radio man on a submarine?

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, I did a movie called Down Paris.

[H. Foley]

I'm like, are you. First of all what a specific is.

[Kevin Ryan]

That'S so crazy that that's like in my. In my brain.

[Harland Williams]

I played a character named Sonar. Yeah. I was the sonar man in Down.

[H. Foley]

Periscope and he made the same. Like that bird named after this noise that he makes.

[Harland Williams]

You never heard of a chickadee or a whippoorwill?

[H. Foley]

I'm not a big bird man. What do they call. What's a bird? An optimolid. No, what's it. Why are you looking at me?

[Kevin Ryan]

Arianology.

[Harland Williams]

Well they're the two birds orinthal their name is their chirp. Like chickadee goes chickadee dee dee. And whippoorwill goes whippoorwill. Whippoorwill.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very self absorbed.

[Harland Williams]

But there's no other. Yeah, they're very narcissistic, egotistical. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You don't have an owl calling itself who.

[Harland Williams]

Right. Huh. Unless it's a doctor Owl.

[H. Foley]

A couple of ornithologists. Ornithologists. Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Thank you, Tim.

[Harland Williams]

It's odd.

[Kevin Ryan]

Back to the ice question.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're at the house, you're at a nice restaurant. You're at the Palm. You and Henry Winkler.

[H. Foley]

We saw Henry Winkler at the Shenandoah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Farmers at the Brentwood Market. We've seen Henry. Henry Hollywood.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

I saw him eating chicken fingers. Actually saw him at a diner.

[Kevin Ryan]

Got a lot of friends in Bakersfield too.

[Harland Williams]

Chicken finger. Chicken finger. Finger.

[Kevin Ryan]

We've seen Henry Winkler twice in the wild for some reason. We saw him once in Austin or.

[H. Foley]

Winklerologist.

[Kevin Ryan]

And we saw him at the Brentwood Market. Seems like a lovely gentleman.

[Harland Williams]

Oh yeah, he's super nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm 49 years old. When I was a kid, the Fon's. Forget about it. Yeah, I mean, he was everything to me.

[Harland Williams]

That's right.

[Kevin Ryan]

So let's say you're over at Henry Winkler's house and you're having a soda or anywhere non airplane ice where you have a phobia. Are you the kind of guy that will take a sip and if a piece of. If an ice cube gets in your mouth, will you spit it back into the cup? Are you okay with that?

[H. Foley]

You might run a tight ship.

[Kevin Ryan]

You get what I'm saying?

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, I might. I mean, that's something I probably would have never have never really thought about. Really.

[Kevin Ryan]

Welcome to the show.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, I don't, I don't traditionally like, eat the ice out of a cup or when I'm done, I just let the ice melt and I can't help but return to its original form.

[H. Foley]

I do it in first class. And the people, people across the aisle.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ice chewing's real trash.

[Harland Williams]

I had a buddy I'd go to movies with and he'd chew the ice through the movie and I just like wanted to put him through the wall. Yeah, Sound like someone digging up ribs at Forest Lawn graveyard in the middle of the night.

[H. Foley]

That's not right.

[Harland Williams]

Idiot.

[H. Foley]

All right, let's see here. This one's from Great Griffin. Are you garbage if you use green spray paint on your lawn to cover up your dog pee stains?

[Kevin Ryan]

Come on.

[H. Foley]

That's pretty classy. I feel. I don't think it's classy. I think you're. You're concerned about the. The looks of it and that's probably the quickest fix.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. It's practical.

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah. So if you're just looking for a quick cosmetic fix, why not? I mean, I know bald guys that'll spray the back of their head.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got grass out at the house?

[Harland Williams]

House, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Front yard with grass.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nice.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, real nice.

[H. Foley]

You got ice at the house?

[Harland Williams]

I got ice.

[H. Foley]

Got an ice maker. You live it on a.

[Kevin Ryan]

You have an actual ice maker? I assume you do.

[Harland Williams]

I actually have a cyber truck. You hit the horn and crushed ice comes out.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I didn't know they had that feature.

[Harland Williams]

Yeah, there's stainless steel fridges on wheels.

[H. Foley]

If they're market mods I vandalized a.

[Harland Williams]

Cyber truck the other day. I threw fridge magnets on it.

[H. Foley]

I gotta put to do list.

[Harland Williams]

Put a shopping list under the windshield wiper.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's all right. That's a good piece of business right there.

[H. Foley]

All right, we gotta wrap it up, unfortunately.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, man. Guys, one of our absolute favorites, wacky Mr. Harland Williams. Still classy, baby.

[Harland Williams]

Thank you.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're class all the way.

[Harland Williams]

Oh, wow.

[H. Foley]

Crazier than ever.

[Kevin Ryan]

This, this is going to come right out. Anything you want the folks to know. You got anything coming up?

[Harland Williams]

Yes, I got. When's it coming out?

[Kevin Ryan]

Comes out on two days.

[Harland Williams]

Okay. So if you're in the Toronto area on May 9, we're doing a sneak screening of my brand new movie that I wrote and directed called Wingman.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Harland Williams]

And you can come to this sneak screening if you go to my website, harlanwilliams.com and get tickets. It's gonna be the first time the movie's seen.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's awesome. We didn't know about this.

[Harland Williams]

Yes, thank you. And then Jamie Kennedy's in it. Russell Peters, Kayla Wallace.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very nice.

[Harland Williams]

Landman. And. And then my podcast, the Harland highway podcast, every Tuesday. And you guys are in la. You got to come.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, we'll be out there making a run.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, we'd love.

[Harland Williams]

Good. I'd love to have you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is that you just doing a screening of the movie? Is this just like a. Just. Is it going in theaters?

[Harland Williams]

Well, we're just. We just finished it, so we're gonna go out and sell it. But we wanted to do a sneak screening, just, you know.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I love that Wingman.

[Harland Williams]

Wingman. It's about a. A demented wingman that helps dudes find and meet girls.

[Kevin Ryan]

So this guy's always working. One of the best. Harmon Williams, everybody. We love you, buddy. Thank you so much. Kippy, what do you got for him?

[H. Foley]

Guys, we're announcing our fall tour dates very soon. Check them out. Check out the Route 66 special on the YouTube page if you have not. And the decks of cards, the AYG card game, brand new 2005 edition on our website. Are you garbage.com? check it it out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Harlan, we love you.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, man, thank you.

[Kevin Ryan]

We love you. We'll see you next week.