Are You Garbage? – "Having Asthma Attacks w/ Ian Fidance"

Hosts: H. Foley & Kevin Ryan
Guest: Ian Fidance
Release Date: November 10, 2025

Overview

In this episode, Foley and Kippy (“KJ” Kevin Ryan) welcome back comedian Ian Fidance to submit him once again to the Are You Garbage? “test.” The trio dive into Ian’s life updates, childhood tales, and health mishaps—ranging from asthma attacks and pneumonia to his unconventional family setup. Packed with signature riffing, self-deprecation, and stories of growing up “garbage,” this is a raucous, revealing, and heartwarming installment that showcases the group’s chemistry and love of lowbrow laughs.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Ian’s "Bag Lady" Gifts (02:40–14:00)

• Ian arrives with a scruffy Stop & Shop bag full of gifts for the hosts, prompting a roast about his “bag lady” aesthetic.
• Gifts include: personalized t-shirts (some with cat hair!), a mirror (“take a look at yourself, but it says you have value”), a blanket for Kevin's son, and a fireside candle—complete with a joke that Ian used a promo code to save $6.
• Running gag: Ian’s gifts are from various discount sites and often include the promo code “Chappie15.”
• Quote:
  • Ian: "Why not use a discount if they offer it?" (10:52)
  • Kevin: "Dude, you smell like a stepdad. It’s crazy." (06:00)

2. Ian's New Projects & Plugs (03:28–04:52, 61:17–62:34)

• Ian announces a brand new travel show "Odd Guy Doing Odd Jobs," produced with Your Mom’s House (YMH)—though episodes aren’t out yet due to “media and assets.”
• Shameless shoutouts for his YouTube (YouTube.com/IanFidanceComedy) and merch, with assorted misadventures shared (bitten by a K9, etc).
• Tour plugs: DC, Minneapolis, San Diego, Denver, Portland, plus local events.
• Quote:
  • "I’m on the road every week. I’m loving it. Having a blast." (61:36)

3. "Garbage" Childhood & Family

• School Lunches, Asthma, and Nurses’ Offices:
  • Kevin and Ian both recall being “asthma kids”, taking their inhalers at school (22:24–24:03).
  • Kevin: "I had allergy and sports-induced asthma." (17:39)
  • Ian: "I got to give him gabapentin before they go—had to make that, put it in a thicker cheese." (07:15)
  • They riff on being supervised with the inhaler, cutting wrestling practice to visit the nurse, and vending machine shenanigans for snacks—a garbage-y rite of passage.
• Vending Machine Anecdotes:
  • Debate about which schools had vending machines and what treats were allowed (23:24–23:58).
• Family Struggles, Stepdad & “Arranged” Marriage:
  • Ian reveals his mom married a man for state health insurance so they could afford medication, describing it as more "friendship" than romance—he lived in their basement (35:10–39:34).
  • Quote:
    • “She married a guy that worked for the state to get state benefit health insurance... it was like a friendship marriage.” (35:16)
  • Ian’s reward for behaving around stepdad’s family: he’d get a beer and a cigarette by age 13 (34:58–35:06).
  • Stepdad stories—like taking Ian for a catch at the same park as his late dad—are played for both laughs and sincere reflection.
  • Quote:
    • “He took me to the park I used to go to with my dad to have a catch... bad move.” (55:00)

4. Health Mishaps: Asthma, Pneumonia & Medical Riffing (16:53–30:46)

• Ian reveals he smokes 2 packs a day, recently had bronchitis and pneumonia, had to quit smoking for three days—ending in text updates to Foley about his condition.
• Hosts and Ian compare inhalers, albuterol, and growing out of asthma.
• Medical “Garbage” Facts:
  • Both share embarrassing medical history: blood as “thick as molasses,” nervousness about vein draws, misadventures at doctor’s offices.
• Quote:
  • Foley: "You don't grow out of asthma." (46:22)
  • Kevin: "Yes you do! Google it." (46:23)
• Foley’s switch from Ozempic to a new drug (“Zepbound—like Ozempic but it’s a salad dressing”) is fodder for relentless mocking (15:17–15:31).

5. Pop Culture & Comedy Riffs

• Halloween Costumes:
  • Ian dressed as the Little Mermaid, while Jordan dressed as “Lord Triton”—costume shaming ensues (27:14–27:40).
• TV Nostalgia:
  • Recurring jokes about 80s/90s shows like "Coach," "Drew Carey Show," "Eek the Cat," and misremembered cartoon names (32:32–34:08).
• Movie Food Podcast Bit:
  • Foley pitches a podcast about food scenes in movies (28:33–28:46):
    • "The Chinese food they have in The Godfather was really good."
• Online Dating & Hinge:
  • Ian shares screenshots of his Hinge profile, which feature him in drag and with comedian Brad Williams, quipping about his luck with online dating (51:05–53:48).
• Quote:
  • “Famous people in your pictures? Me and Brad Williams, because I’m in a dress.” (52:50)

6. Self-Deprecating Physical Roast Battles

• Nonstop roasts about each others’ beards, eyes, teeth (“looks like an earthquake in a graveyard!”), and blood draws.
• Skin Tags & DIY Medical Advice:
  • Foley describes d.i.y. skin tag removal and Ian responds in horror (14:37–14:57).
• Dental riffs:
  • Foley on Ian’s teeth: “You got two that are ducking the draft back there, hiding behind the other ones.” (60:35)
  • Ian plugs his shows “so I can replace my bottom teeth.” (60:46)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (w/ Timestamps)

• On Gifting:
  • Ian: "I got you a candle for your house, a blanket for your son... and used the discount code Chappie15." (10:32)
• On “Garbage” Upbringing:
  • “If you behave around my stepdad’s family, my mom would give me a cigarette and a beer when I was in seventh grade.” (34:58)
• Medical Confusion:
  • Foley: "What is albuterol?"
    Kevin: "It’s a medicine, you idiot. If it was air, they’d call it air." (59:22)
• On Asthma:
  • Kevin: “I had sports-induced... Sports Center-induced [asthma].” (17:42)
• Stepdad’s Role Summed Up:
  • “He worked for the Ferris school in Wilmington, Delaware... the threat was if you don’t behave, we’re gonna send you to Ferris.” (36:29)
• Roast:
  • Foley: “You got two that are ducking the draft back there, hiding behind the other ones.” (60:35)
  • Ian: “Yeah, looks like an earthquake in a graveyard.” (60:31)

Important Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp (MM:SS) | |-------------------------------------------------|--------------------------| | Ian arrives with gifts & bag lady roasts | 02:40–14:00 | | Travel show & YouTube plugs | 03:28, 61:17–62:34 | | Asthma/school nurse/anecdotes | 22:24–24:03 | | Stepdad/health insurance marriage reveal | 35:10–39:34 | | Medical mishaps & blood draws | 43:41–46:12 | | Online dating & Hinge profiles | 51:05–53:48 | | Dental roasts & plugs for Ian’s shows | 60:10–61:17 | | Closing banter, holidays, “see you at the Met” | 63:13–65:15 |

Flow & Tone

The episode is loose, playful, and irreverent, brimming with quick banter and affectionate ball-busting. Stories of disability, poverty, and family dysfunction are told with a winking self-awareness that keeps even the darkest tales light. The group never strays far from the garbage test theme: finding pride and humor in shortcomings, medical weirdness, and discount codes alike. Moments of real sentiment—like Ian describing his mother’s sacrifices—surface with honesty, only to be deflected seconds later by more self-mockery and inside jokes.

Summary Takeaway

“Having Asthma Attacks w/ Ian Fidance” perfectly encapsulates Are You Garbage’s ethos: comedy from the trenches, relishing every weird, cheap, or painful memory as a badge of honor. Ian’s return brings hilarious stories of asthma struggles, family survival hacks, gift bag chaos, and the enduring camaraderie of three seasoned “trashmen” of comedy.

For tickets and more, visit rugarbage.com.