History Hyenas!

Summary

Summary of "History Hyenas!" Episode of Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Release Date: March 6, 2025
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Guests: Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas (History Hyenas)

---

1. Welcome and Introduction

The episode begins with hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley expressing gratitude for their audience's support and introducing the special guests, Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas, collectively known as the History Hyenas. The hosts maintain their signature humor, setting the tone for a lively and entertaining discussion.

H. Foley [00:20]: "Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?... Let's put them to the test to determine if they are in fact 'GARBAGE' as well."

2. Real Estate Woes and Garage Dilemmas

A significant portion of the conversation revolves around real estate challenges, particularly focusing on the complexities of garage ownership. Yannis shares his frustrations with detached garages and his preference for attached ones to accommodate his gym equipment.

Yannis Pappas [04:10]: "I'm not looking for houses with detached garages. I need the garage attached to the house because that's where I put the gym."

The hosts and guests delve into the intricacies of the current real estate market, discussing mortgage rates, renovation expenses, and the emotional toll of buying and selling homes.

Yannis Pappas [05:17]: "I completely renovated the entire kitchen and bathrooms. And then you sold it a month later."

3. The Yuka App and Food Critiques

The discussion shifts to the Yuka app, a tool designed to scan and evaluate the healthiness of various food items. The group humorously critiques processed foods, debating the app's efficacy and the absurdity of some of its ratings.

Yannis Pappas [07:04]: "Jesus Christ. Danish butter cookies. 24 out of 100, folks."

The conversation highlights the challenge of making healthy food choices in a comedic light, emphasizing the sometimes arbitrary nature of food ratings.

Yannis Pappas [07:04]: "Additives. It's got additives. It's got saturated fat, it's got calories, it's got sugar."

4. Personal Lives and Wedding Plans

Yannis opens up about his personal life, particularly his recent marriage and the dynamics of blending families post-divorce. The hosts and guests share humorous anecdotes about wedding planning, family interactions, and the compromises involved in merging households.

Yannis Pappas [15:06]: "I proposed her. I got the ring at Six Flags."

The conversation touches on the financial decisions surrounding weddings versus investing in real estate, showcasing the humor in balancing personal commitments with practical necessities.

Yannis Pappas [16:00]: "She asked me to go knock on the people's door of the house we sold to and asked to buy back."

5. Parallel Parking and New York Etiquette

A standout segment features Yannis demonstrating his exceptional parallel parking skills, attributing his prowess to growing up in Ridgewood, Queens. The group marvels at his ability to navigate tight spots, blending admiration with playful teasing.

Yannis Pappas [60:34]: "I know exactly how many to the center me or what I have before I'll hit the car behind me or in front of me."

Chris Distefano [58:55]: "He's the best parallel parker I've ever seen."

This segment underscores the unique challenges and skills associated with driving in New York City, all delivered with the podcast's trademark humor.

6. Airport Adventures and Travel Stories

The hosts and guests share entertaining stories from their experiences navigating airports, dealing with turbulent landings, and interacting with flight attendants. These anecdotes highlight the unpredictable nature of air travel and the camaraderie among New Yorkers.

Yannis Pappas [73:02]: "I FaceTimed my family right before I took off. I'm on FaceTime with them."

Chris Distefano [71:07]: "Blows in the back. It's like an American holiday in my life."

7. Diner Orders and Pizza Preferences

A lively discussion ensues about ordering at diners and pizza joints, particularly focusing on New York-style pizzas. The group debates the best ways to order a slice, favorite toppings, and humorous mishaps related to food preferences.

Yannis Pappas [67:43]: "Sauteed mushroom cheeseburger with disco fries."

Chris Distefano [67:55]: "Patty melt deluxe... I drench the patty melt in mayo."

These exchanges highlight the cultural significance of food in New York City and the playful rivalry over pizza etiquette.

8. Community Interactions and Neighborhood Etiquette

The conversation veers into the nuances of living in tight-knit communities, discussing everything from leaving bicycles outside apartment doors to dealing with noisy neighbors. Yannis and Chris share their strategies for maintaining peace and order in crowded living spaces.

Yannis Pappas [58:20]: "Big problem. I didn't care. But the super would get angry... Leave your bicycle out."

Chris Distefano [64:15]: "Shout out to Kia boys. Taken from the Kia boys."

These stories emphasize the challenges and humorous aspects of urban living, reinforcing the podcast's theme of navigating life's "garbage" moments.

9. Conclusion and Upcoming Events

As the episode winds down, the hosts express their appreciation for the guests and encourage listeners to support their ongoing projects. They announce upcoming tours and special events, maintaining the podcast's engaging and community-driven spirit.

Yannis Pappas [76:27]: "Go to Christy comedy.com and then Madison Square Garden, September 11th."

Kevin Ryan [77:36]: "Get your tickets on the Back on the Block [e-mail]. We'll see you out there."

Notable Quotes

• Yannis Pappas [05:17]: "I've looked... I'm just listening. Anyone on Zillow?"

• Chris Distefano [07:04]: "Stop it. You're making fully hungry."

• Yannis Pappas [16:00]: "I have to push some buttons. I'm addicted to losing and getting it back."

• Chris Distefano [60:34]: "He's working the angle, bro."

• Yannis Pappas [73:02]: "I FaceTimed my family right before I took off."

Final Thoughts

This episode of Are You Garbage? masterfully blends personal stories, real estate struggles, food critiques, and quintessential New York humor. Hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley, alongside guests Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas, deliver an engaging and laughter-filled session that resonates with both city dwellers and comedy enthusiasts alike.

---

Note: Advertisements, sponsor mentions, intros, and outros have been omitted to focus solely on the episode's core content.

Transcript

[H. Foley]

Gang, we want to thank everybody for all the love and support on the Route 66 Special. It is out now. If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor and check it out. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

And the Back on the Block tour starts this week. Tickets still available for Pontiac, Michigan, March 8th, March 11th, Milwaukee Improv. And then March 14th, Minneapolis, Minnesota at the Fillmore. Get your tickets on your garbage dot com. We'll see you there.

[H. Foley]

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are youe Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Ru Garbage. Oh, yeah. It's that little show. We sit there with your favorite comedians and we find that at the group to be classy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Or they're just a big old piece of trash. We.

[Kevin Ryan]

Zhang Jing, I'm your host.

[Chris Distefano]

I was about to go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Trash, trash, trash.

[H. Foley]

I'm your host, Tanks Foley coming at you on a glorious day. We're out back here at Toadies and in new editions. She's out hitting the links, believe it or not.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Working on her short game for the spring.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right.

[H. Foley]

You know, a little winter rules.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

She got a caddy lets her in. All right, whatever. My coast. Coming at you. Right next to me, unamused.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is a tough laugh.

[H. Foley]

This kid, my co host, CEO of Are you Garbage? International businessman, Kevin James Ryan.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, what's up? Everybody shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in as always. Please make sure you rate review. Subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. And now full video available on Spotify. Check that out. Then the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com re garbage. Check that out.

[H. Foley]

Check out that Route 66 tour. Cook it over there on the YouTube page.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

But we couldn't be more excited to have two of our incredibly special guests here with us today. Two of the absolute funniest. Two of the best. Couple of good looking kids too, let's be honest. Ladies and gentlemen, the History Hyenas.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Mommy and daddy. Mommy and dadd. Yeah. The mommy and daddy here. We reconcile that the divorce has been rescinded.

[Yannis Pappas]

We're back. We got the kids back. We got everybody. Well, we lost a couple of kids in the divorce, but that's okay. But Yanni, my wife.

[Chris Distefano]

Not for long. Go to patreon.com history hyenas.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I hear the sex is better than ever.

[Chris Distefano]

We're gonna have a battle of the Patriots.

[Yannis Pappas]

Well, the Sex is better than ever because Yanni, my wife, lost the weight. Yanni's weighing in at 196 now. It's the first time I see my lady. First time I see my lady under two. Hundo pallet.

[H. Foley]

Johnny, you did come in. Really. First day of school in it. You got the new boots on.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a guy whose wife dressed him. Put on your boots. He's got his brand new car art boots on. Ain't never seen me outside.

[Chris Distefano]

You know what I. You know what I really. I really don't like now about this era is every person asks me, are you doing something ozempic?

[Kevin Ryan]

What are you on?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, doing it naturally.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's like, yeah. And then you say, no, I'm just on repressed childhood memories. That's what I'm eating.

[Chris Distefano]

I just. It's all. It's called the depression.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's called depression.

[H. Foley]

They don't know the value of an old weight bench in the garage.

[Yannis Pappas]

Oh, yeah.

[H. Foley]

Get it out to some Blue Oyster Cult now.

[Chris Distefano]

You know, the problem is my. The ceiling in my garage is too low, so I can't get a treadmill or. I said I'd go through the.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think that's a garage.

[Yannis Pappas]

I was gonna say. What is it?

[Kevin Ryan]

It's a cross.

[H. Foley]

It's only for convertibles.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Unfortunately, my garage is a little bit of a problem. It's got low ceilings.

[Yannis Pappas]

Why don't you get a lift for the garage? Why don't we raise the ceiling?

[Kevin Ryan]

Raise the roof.

[Yannis Pappas]

Wait, hold these.

[H. Foley]

That doesn't make any sense. How do you get the car in there?

[Chris Distefano]

The car? When I pop the hood, I have to control the pop so it doesn't hit the. I got to open it by hand.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[Yannis Pappas]

So if you had. But. So if you had, like, an suv. You can't get one in there.

[Chris Distefano]

You can't get one in there.

[H. Foley]

Is it a drop ceiling?

[Chris Distefano]

It's a. No, it's not even a drop ceiling. It's just when they built it, it was just. I guess it was built for Chinese.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

Is it connected to the house or a detached garage?

[Kevin Ryan]

Standalone.

[Chris Distefano]

It's underneath.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's underneath.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're on a hill.

[Yannis Pappas]

I'm not interested.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's on a hill. That's what matters.

[Chris Distefano]

It's on a hill.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

That's a kid who should have been in construction.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Wait, hold on. It's underneath. It's underneath the house.

[Chris Distefano]

Underneath the house. Underneath the floor of the house.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. So you go down his driveway.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You have one of those.

[Chris Distefano]

We Got a nice clean coat of white that's covering up the. All the imperfections so it looks like a finished, gorgeous.

[H. Foley]

Wait, you have a driveway that goes.

[Chris Distefano]

Down the driveway goes down the hill.

[Kevin Ryan]

Whoa.

[Chris Distefano]

Yep, down the hill.

[Yannis Pappas]

So.

[Chris Distefano]

Which is very old school.

[H. Foley]

Queens. Brooklyn.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, that's right.

[H. Foley]

I killed Joe Pesci right there.

[Yannis Pappas]

Throw him down. Yeah, yeah. I just. I'm not interested in a house for me, the garage.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're renting again.

[Yannis Pappas]

I'm renting again.

[Kevin Ryan]

This kid's all. He calls me. I buy a house, we start talking. How's the house going? I go, great. Best decision you could ever make. Next text, right away, because I sold my house.

[H. Foley]

He's got two roommates again.

[Yannis Pappas]

I said, listen, the. The mortgage rates are the lowest I've ever been in history. I bought during that time. I said, let me wait till they triple, then I'm gonna sell. That's what I did. And that's what I did. Because I like a little bit of the chaos. And. And it's a regrettable decision. But I will tell you this is. I've looked. I've been trying to look at a couple of houses again, and I'm just listening. Anyone on Zillow? Anyone listening to me? Any real estate agents that I may or may not hire because I'm always firing them and hiring them. I'm not looking for houses with detached garages. I need the garage attached to the house because that's where I put the gym. I don't pull my car into the garage. I put my gym equipment in the garage and I leave the car outside the garage and I just wipe the fucking snow off. Like an American.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it's actually. It's an American way to do it.

[H. Foley]

Did you. You made a few bucks on the house? The Staten Island?

[Yannis Pappas]

I made a few bucks on the.

[Chris Distefano]

House, but consider breaking even, making a few bucks.

[Yannis Pappas]

Well, I was going to say if you. If you consider a few.

[Chris Distefano]

If you.

[Yannis Pappas]

If you consider making a few.

[H. Foley]

Which I do. Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

If you consider making a few bucks, meaning $4, then yes. That's because I completely renovated the entire kitchen and bathrooms. And then you, baby. I sold it a month later.

[H. Foley]

You never got into. When you were going to make the pool all one level?

[Yannis Pappas]

No, I did do that as well. Yes.

[H. Foley]

And then he turned his pool into a koi pond.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

A couple coins on renovating it for the nice.

[Yannis Pappas]

And then the beautiful Palestinian family that bought it, they are enjoying a nice new home.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's good. You're a good guy.

[Yannis Pappas]

Well, that's what it said. I said, you know, that's the one way I'm helping with the war here, you know, as I gave the Palestinians a home on Staten island. And then. But I also, you know, I got.

[H. Foley]

With a two foot pole.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. I gave the Palestinians my house and I gave the. My Jewish accountant the money transaction. So I help both sides.

[Chris Distefano]

And that's why we been on the horn with Netanyahu, trying to figure out how to get it back.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yes, yes.

[H. Foley]

Netanyahu just said that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like AI.

[H. Foley]

He made it sound like he's an Apache.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. And I don't know why his face isn't on chocolate drink bottles and they're calling him Netanyahu. I don't know why they're not doing that because every time I hear that guy's name, it makes me think of a Yoo Hoo. And I think they should combine the marketing.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

And there's no milk in that.

[Yannis Pappas]

There isn't? No.

[H. Foley]

That's dairy free. Yoo. Dairy free Fan.

[Yannis Pappas]

We were speaking about the Yuka app before. This app not, you know, it's not a sponsor. I don't have any. I would love for them to get involved. But you start scanning different foods on this app. It's called UKA Y U K A. And you see, start seeing the chemicals. Every food gets a source like this right here. Here, let me, let me do this. Let's scan these puppies. Jesus Christ. Danish butter cookies. 24 out of 100, folks.

[H. Foley]

Is that good or bad?

[Yannis Pappas]

Bad. Bad. Additives. It's got additives. It's got saturated fat, it's got calories, it's got sugar, it's got calorie.

[Kevin Ryan]

No shit has got calories.

[Chris Distefano]

Stop it. You're making fully hungry.

[H. Foley]

Somebody get r out of here.

[Yannis Pappas]

Well, Foley let me.

[H. Foley]

But he's coming after Wendy's.

[Yannis Pappas]

But here's what I like.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's an American institution.

[Yannis Pappas]

Right. But here's what I like about this app is if it just told me the food's bad, I'd say thank you. How's it fucking help me? This food gives you recommendations.

[H. Foley]

Alternative.

[Yannis Pappas]

Alternative. So Royal dance Danish butter cookies. Get a 24 out of 100. But for 72 out of 100, which is good. Good, good. You can get T Rusk whole wheat crispy cookies.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'd rather eat my own asshole, dude.

[Yannis Pappas]

Or sugar free fiber biscuits for 66 out 100.

[Kevin Ryan]

Or how are those only 60? That should be 100.

[H. Foley]

That makes where the flavor.

[Kevin Ryan]

Or.

[Yannis Pappas]

Or you can get Avan Cole. I don't know. What that is. That's a 66.

[H. Foley]

My cousin had that.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what killed the Indians.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Or we put that on some blankets.

[Yannis Pappas]

Or Matilda Vincenzi. Lady fingers don't seem so bad. And that's a 51.

[H. Foley]

Now those are all.

[Chris Distefano]

They should call that app no Fun.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Talk about a tough hang. New Chrissy. New Chrissy's a tough hang.

[H. Foley]

I don't like this RFK poking his nose.

[Yannis Pappas]

I'll scan this water right now. Natural water feeds you water. 100 out of 100, folks.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's just from the sink, though. We just. We really filled them up.

[Yannis Pappas]

This is all good. But get the Yuka app. It's healthy. This kid's mom uses it, and she's a CEO.

[Kevin Ryan]

Chris is the king of new things. Yeah. Every time I see him, he's got a new thing.

[H. Foley]

What are you doing with the gym equipment now? Where's that? Do you have a storage locker somewhere?

[Yannis Pappas]

No, I have. It's a detached garage. And the thing is.

[Kevin Ryan]

So are you. Wait, are you living like Doug? Like, King of Queens Doug Heffernan?

[Yannis Pappas]

100%.

[Kevin Ryan]

That kind of house.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's how we're living right now. We got in the wall, air conditioners. We take them in, take up. I got the air conditioner. I got to lift the window up and put the AC unit in. I got no central ac.

[Kevin Ryan]

Move to the burbs like Yanni. What are you doing?

[Yannis Pappas]

She doesn't want to move there. This is.

[Chris Distefano]

This is my theory on Chrissy. It's just. You gotta understand, you're dealing with a kid from Ridgewood, Queens, Right. So there's certain things that makes those kids comfortable.

[Kevin Ryan]

His jaw. Whenever Yanni say he's a kid from clean, he gets all caveman.

[Chris Distefano]

That's the water. That's what the bottom drawer comes out.

[Yannis Pappas]

Comes out. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

You know, something good's coming. So. He's just a kid. There's certain things that just. He needs to be comfy. I respect things.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. So I need it. I need an AC that I got to put in the window.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Plug in. You like plugging one in?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. I got to be honest with you. My house was. My house in Staten island was too fancy. I didn't have any lights that I could put a string on and pull down. So I was like, I need to pull these fucking lights. I'm pulling the lights out of the ceiling.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

So I need. That I need. And I. But I do need now the one amenity that I'm looking for as I want the Garage attached to the house. Because I got my gym equipment right now in my detached garage in my house. And even though it's just a five foot walk, I never use the gym. It's got to be attached to the house.

[Kevin Ryan]

You think if it's closer than five, if it's two feet, you're going to go.

[Yannis Pappas]

If it's attached to the house, I use it. If it's not attached to the house, I don't use it.

[H. Foley]

That chick could be in my bedroom.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's. That's Foley level denial. And I respect it.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You got all the equipment out there in a garage.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. And I. And I won't freaking use it. And I should, I should. But I. If it's attached to the house, I use it. And I make up the excuse. I got kids. I can't. I can't be. Not in the same physical space as them if nobody's watching them. But sure, the garage is attached to the house. I say to kids, hey, sit there, put on Netflix. Put in the cartoons. Daddy's gonna do is pull up and hit the weights.

[H. Foley]

You can still yell in, tell them to start a sauce.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah. So I could stand and say, hey, get off the couch. Stop hitting your sister. And then I go back to the fucking treadmill.

[Chris Distefano]

That's how. You know how probably difficult it is to be his real estate agent? They probably show him like a beautiful house, detached garage. You know what if it's a foreclosure sale?

[Kevin Ryan]

Let's talk great price.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, great price. One million. It's really a $10 million house. He's going like, the garage was on the house. You're taking it.

[H. Foley]

We can't guarantee you can smell calzones when you come outside in the morning.

[Yannis Pappas]

Here's the thing. And I've been told by two different people, this is, this is the first time they did this ever in their careers. And they both did it to me. I've been dropped by two real estate agen. So real estate agents never drop anybody. I mean, you find these people on Zillow and I've been dropped by two of them.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

How does that breakup call go?

[Yannis Pappas]

They say we saw the most recent one, that we're looking at houses in Westchester. I was trying to get out to the burbs, they saying, showed us 12 houses that all could have worked. And we said no to all them.

[Kevin Ryan]

Up high, Westchester, like Yanni, or down lower, all over the map.

[Yannis Pappas]

And then the agent on the 12th one said, Listen, if this one doesn't work for You.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm going to kill myself.

[Yannis Pappas]

I totally understand, but I'm not the guy. I can't help you find someone else or find a different location. But I'm wasting too much time now because I'm coming out here and I've shown you multiple homes. That would work. And you're finding reasons that I want you to talk to each other.

[Kevin Ryan]

You guys. You guys don't know what you're doing.

[Yannis Pappas]

You actually really want to move?

[Kevin Ryan]

Probably not, right?

[Yannis Pappas]

And the answer is probably not.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Yannis Pappas]

The answer is. I mean, she has asked me, my girl has asked me to go knock on the people's door of the house we sold to and asked to buy back. And I. And I'm like, I probably can't do that. But then I fucking sent the text to the agent anyway, and they said they would consider it, but you got to wait till next October because it's some tax law.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, if you knock on the door and just say, hey, the whole neighborhood just became Jewish, maybe they'll be convinced to sell.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

But it really is. It's like, we got to launch another crusade to get that house back.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, but you're gonna get the house back. Probably gonna pay more than you bought, more than you sold it.

[Yannis Pappas]

Try to tell that to a woman.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, that's very true.

[Yannis Pappas]

Try to tell that to a woman. Say, hey, honey, I made a mistake. The house is twice as much and the interest rate is three times as much. She would say, buy the house back again.

[H. Foley]

That's. Dude, if you buy the same house.

[Kevin Ryan]

Again, that is lottery winner trash.

[Yannis Pappas]

I was gonna say, would I be an all time hall of famer in the are you garbage world? A hall of fame.

[H. Foley]

Now, what would you be willing to pay over what you sold it for?

[Kevin Ryan]

You got to think this interest rate's coming at about 7%, 100 grand.

[Yannis Pappas]

I bought it at 2.8% interest rate, so.

[Chris Distefano]

Christ, it's like free money.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, I fucked up.

[Chris Distefano]

Even if you wanted to move, you should have rented it out and just kept it.

[Yannis Pappas]

Johnny, what do you think? The last two years on, I would say if there's seven days a week, five out of the seven, I wake up in the middle of the night sweating because of these decisions.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, you are. You're something else.

[Yannis Pappas]

There's something else.

[H. Foley]

But here's the thing. If you don't like the area or if you're the. And I completely understand what you're saying. Not that I'm from the city, but I'm so ingrained in it. Now I, you know, we think about moving out of the city. I just got to have it around me a little bit.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

And if you're not happy out there in the burbs, even though Staten island still in the city. But that was very suburban area. Yeah, that was a nice, nice area. But we were the king of Queens house though.

[Chris Distefano]

You can't.

[Yannis Pappas]

There's got to be a meet in the middle. So I'm saying, Hunter, why don't we just rent a dope apart. I work in the city every day. The kids will love it. Son could still go to high school where he doesn't have to change schools. Let's get a beautiful apartment in the city. And she says, no.

[Kevin Ryan]

In the city of Manhattan.

[Yannis Pappas]

In Manhattan. And she says, no, no.

[Kevin Ryan]

You want like a nice one that you see on like suits or something?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Get a fucking Florida window.

[Yannis Pappas]

Get a nice Florida. But a rental. But a rental.

[Kevin Ryan]

Rent it out.

[Yannis Pappas]

I'm renting out. I'm not looking to buy right now. But it's not.

[Chris Distefano]

It's not a great time to buy.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's not a great time to buy. But the women just don't under. They just don't understand that. That's not the language they.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're not.

[Yannis Pappas]

So now you just have to fucking kind of sit here and just deal with it and just kind of keep saying, I can't afford it. And then it gets to the point where it says, well then just go find the guy who fucking will. I can't do it.

[H. Foley]

I mean, forget about the house for a minute. You got some other planning to do. You just popped the question, didn't you?

[Yannis Pappas]

That's right. Cuz you got that coming up.

[H. Foley]

That's right. What's that looking like, Yanni?

[Kevin Ryan]

They're going to change the venue nine different times.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, it's looking like a lab grown diamond. When you propose after 10 years, you're already fucking bought. The horse. You get the lab grown, died.

[Yannis Pappas]

What it is.

[H. Foley]

Those things came into fashion at just the right time.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, you put a quarter in the machine and you turn.

[Yannis Pappas]

Here you go, sweetie.

[Kevin Ryan]

Open the oven now. Needs another two, three hours.

[Yannis Pappas]

I proposed her. I got the ring at Six Flags.

[Kevin Ryan]

It only cost me 400 tickets.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's what it is. Yeah. So we're doing that and then, you know.

[Kevin Ryan]

Where'd you go for the diamond?

[H. Foley]

Where'd you pop the question?

[Yannis Pappas]

I don't know. In the house, Zales, where do you think? In the house. In the. Right there. In the house. Monday morning, 7am right in front of the kids.

[H. Foley]

He called a Palestinian trying to ask her to marry her back in the old house.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. Can I do that? But no.

[Chris Distefano]

So it was a beautiful proposal. I. You know, when you have kids, I thought, I thought it was really touching, right.

[Yannis Pappas]

With the kids right in front.

[Chris Distefano]

Somebody.

[Yannis Pappas]

Somebody filmed it. My steps filmed that. My step.

[Chris Distefano]

Technically, he's. He wasn't. You know, you wanted him for you. He's. Technically, he said.

[Yannis Pappas]

Right, right.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

He was probably pushing.

[Yannis Pappas]

He was technically working it. He was working the event.

[H. Foley]

But it's beautiful. You say, you say in the special, you got. You got. You got three kids. You put him in there.

[Yannis Pappas]

Always. Always. Yeah, always. Yeah, you gotta. Gotta include everybody. I'm all. The thing is me. I'm all.

[Chris Distefano]

He's in there with an asterisk. Right, Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

No, no, no, no. He's in.

[Chris Distefano]

He's in there.

[Yannis Pappas]

No, here's the thing. Here's the thing. He's fully in. He's fully 100% in as much as the other kids. Just the other kids. There's no way out. He's got a way out.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

So you know what I mean? He's fully in, but he could. It doesn't have to be forever with him. My kids got to be forever. So you know what I mean? So he's got a way out. If he doesn't like me, he can walk away. But we're getting along great. My daughters, unfortunately, can't leave. I will lock them in the basement. Like that German guy that locked his.

[Chris Distefano]

Door to the face like Ariel Castro.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's what I'll do.

[H. Foley]

What are we thinking as far as the nuptials? You know, I just. I just tied the knot, got married. A lot of poor financial decisions in that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm an ordained minister doing the same road. I'll do it on a cheap.

[H. Foley]

Are you going big?

[Yannis Pappas]

No, I don't think we're gonna go big. Because we just want big. No, because we've been together so long, I don't think she wants big. I think. I think if we still own the house. I think actually selling the house is saving me from the big time wedding. Because she said. I'm saying to her, I can't spend all our money on the wedding. And the. You have to pick what's more important to you. And she says the house. So that's what it is. So I think that's why it's better.

[Kevin Ryan]

You guys are gonna be one of those couples that gets divorced and remarried like three times.

[Yannis Pappas]

Just like the House.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just do it. Get in a fight.

[H. Foley]

Go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Go down to City Hall.

[Yannis Pappas]

I'm addicted to losing and getting it back.

[Chris Distefano]

That's where the Russian.

[Kevin Ryan]

Stay at the table, stay at the table, stay at the table, stay at the table. Ride it out.

[H. Foley]

Destination Vegas. Eloping 100 people.

[Yannis Pappas]

Listen, the thing is, I only ever leave the confines of New York City when I have to go work.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Yannis Pappas]

If I don't have to work, I don't leave the confines of this great city.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

I mean, and I. And I very rarely like to leave the confines and the laws of this great nation. I don't leave.

[H. Foley]

What about, what about old school Queens Catering Hall? I would do it very Astoria.

[Yannis Pappas]

Something upscale. Nice.

[H. Foley]

You know the place in Astoria?

[Yannis Pappas]

Astoria Boulevard. Astoria Manor.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, yeah. You get that? That, That' the thing. That's what I was trying to say before. Like waiters. He's done extremely well in his career. Like crazy, he's at the top. But his accent and sure. Persona, just don't believe it. It's almost like his voice when it comes out, he goes, we don't. We don't belong here. But really, the wedding he would have would be at a catering hall. The guys he's friends with are firemen and cops. They'd show up, you know, look, khaki.

[Kevin Ryan]

There'd be a couple jeans, couple of metrics.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, my God, A Gap button down that's over oversized.

[Kevin Ryan]

Still tags on some Carhartt boots. Someone's gonna have a pair of khakis that say like 32, 30. He's gonna be doing a Macarena.

[Yannis Pappas]

Pat Finnegan's gonna have a blue button down. Blue button down shirt with a tie. And it's gonna have the Mets logo stitch onto the pocket.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

What it is. That's his good shirt.

[Chris Distefano]

Someone's gonna forget to take the size.

[H. Foley]

Right?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. So you put like Yanni. Yanni. Classier. A little classier guy. His. I mean, I didn't, I, I. We weren't. I seen the pictures. Classy events.

[Chris Distefano]

Couple of people I invited shouldn't have been there.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. Same spot as. Same spot as Derek Jeter. Oh, he could cancel.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes, Royalty. You did.

[Yannis Pappas]

Big time.

[Kevin Ryan]

And he would do Fran Lee's Catering hall down on fucking Long Island.

[Yannis Pappas]

Royalty. Oh, he could. Castle and I took an Uber in and out of that place, which most people did.

[Chris Distefano]

That's.

[Yannis Pappas]

Most people showed up in nice cars. I took a fucking Toyota Camry. Uber.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. And Ari Shafir wore fucking Chuck Taylor's to a black tie event.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what happens when you invite Jews to your wedding.

[Yannis Pappas]

So when you gotta, you know, take the money, I'm like, hey, hon, we're gonna take the money away from the kids here. If we're this fucking party of one day.

[Kevin Ryan]

One day party.

[Yannis Pappas]

Come on, let's invest in the house.

[H. Foley]

Kip. Let's talk about aura frames.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, shout out to aura gang.

[H. Foley]

Now. We talk about aura frames a lot on the show, but we love aura frames.

[Kevin Ryan]

Great.

[H. Foley]

We genuinely do. And let me tell you something. You got Mother's Day around the corner. It's coming up. You want to get Mom, Grandma something nice. Hell, even dad, the uncles, everybody get him in. Aura frame, digital frame, sits right on the counter. You upload pictures that way they get to keep up what's going on with Jimmy and Johnny and Tommy, how they're doing in Little League, the recital, all that kind of stuff this year.

[Kevin Ryan]

Brass tacks. You want to get these broads off your back, huh? You want your modestop calling you, nagging you? I never see, I never hear from you, blah, blah, blah. Hit them with an aura frame.

[H. Foley]

They don't want the tie or the calendar, whatever. Get him an aura frame or a frame.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then you don't even have to be there. It's like you're talking and you just upload picture. Oh, here we are at the zoo. That grandma ain't got to come to the zoo. You got to pay that for that old bird. Plus she likes your chicken tendies or whatever. Sure, you're saving money this way.

[H. Foley]

Plus the technology will blow their brain. They wonder what's going on, like, oh my God. Are you in the house?

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh. Right now you can save the perfect gift that keeps on giving by visiting auraframes.com for a limited time. Listeners get $20 off their best selling carver mat frames with the code garbage. That's aura A U R A frames.com promo code garbage.

[H. Foley]

Do it, Kip. What do you know about elite Irestore hair growth?

[Kevin Ryan]

What do I know about it? How you doing?

[H. Foley]

Calling all you cue balls out there. What are you doing flying a turkey? What you crazy? Get Irestore red light therapy. Have you growing hair in no time?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it's clinically proven solution designed to help you regrow hair with 282 lasers and LEDs. Lasers delivering light therapy directly to your scalp. Think of it. Think of it as a rejuvenating treatment for all for your hair follicles. Giving you a new look for the spring season, baby. That's what we're talking about. Listen, there's no, there's no beating around a bush. I've been struggling with hair loss for a long time. I wish I took care of it earlier. I did not. And now. So listen, guys, if you're out there and you're struggling a little bit, you're seeing a little bit. Get on it now with Irestore. In a four month double blind study, dermatologist study participants grew more hair with I restore laser and LED technology so you can feel confident buying a system with proven results. Baby, give yourself the gift of hair confidence this spring. You don't be jumping in a pool with flimsy hair this summer. Get it right. All the broads are going to be running away. For a limited time only, our listeners get $625 off their IreStore Elite. When you use the code AYG at irestorelaser.com that's 625 off your IreStore Elite at irestorelaser.com with the promo code AYG. Please support our show. Tell them a boy sent you. Hair loss is frustrating. Don't tell me. So don't. You don't have to fight it alone. With thanks to Irish store. Do it.

[Chris Distefano]

Speaking of things that don't make sense.

[H. Foley]

Wish I would have talked to you.

[Chris Distefano]

That are a little confused. What the fuck is going on with these coasters on this shit table?

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean?

[Chris Distefano]

What do you mean?

[H. Foley]

Nice table. He touched Raymore and Flanagan too.

[Chris Distefano]

He doesn't give a shit. I mean, what is. I mean, how redundant is this? I mean, this table is a coaster.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't like. I don't like the disrespect you're throwing at me or the table or my decorating dispenser.

[H. Foley]

Derek Jeter wouldn't act like this.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, I'm sorry. All hoity toity. Oh, Alonka Castle. You didn't pull.

[Chris Distefano]

You didn't pull this thing off the street? No.

[H. Foley]

What are you talking about again?

[Kevin Ryan]

White glove delivery, sir.

[Chris Distefano]

Making me put a coaster on a Raymore and Flanagan.

[Yannis Pappas]

I'll tell you what, the best piece of furniture I got in my whole goddamn house is from Bob's Discount. Good. Shout out. Shout out.

[H. Foley]

Bob's?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, Bob's with that stuff. I've bought a lot of discount furniture. You walk in, you look at somebody go, what's your. What's your zip code? You go, hey, enough with the questions. I'm just here looking.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

And they go, it, it looks good. It holds good price, but Then it. After like three months.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

It doesn't have the.

[H. Foley]

Do I know that couch that. The couch from the old house.

[Yannis Pappas]

I got that. But then I also got a. We use it as our liquor cabinet now, but it's from pops. We put the wine in there. We put the nice liquor in there.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, you got a liquor cabinet. You got a little bar set up at the house.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, definitely. You gotta have one of those. That. That's part of that.

[Yannis Pappas]

You got.

[Chris Distefano]

We got.

[Yannis Pappas]

He's got a mini bar in his house. It's called this garage.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it's just the garage.

[Kevin Ryan]

We got a hunchy. Yeah. Crawl in there. But that's.

[H. Foley]

It's got an after hours spot.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

We got a nice two tier liquor shelves. Okay, we can do that to complete the house, right?

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't have. I need one.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, you need.

[H. Foley]

Do you ever go home?

[Chris Distefano]

Problem with yours is the alcohol will be empty.

[Kevin Ryan]

It don't stay. My stuff don't. But my stuff don't hang around.

[Chris Distefano]

We saw you. You fell because there was something wrong with the stair.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that's right.

[Chris Distefano]

And I said, what stairs were you on? Jack Daniel's house.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, you said, I fell. I fell down the stairs. I got hit right in the cirrhosis of the liver.

[Kevin Ryan]

I saw you guys had a. I just got out of the hospital.

[Yannis Pappas]

I remember I'm texting you. I'm texting Kippy for 20 minutes. We're talking about. I said. He goes, what are you doing right now? Wherever I am, I go, what are you doing? He goes, I'm in the hospital. I said, well, we've been talking for.

[Chris Distefano]

20 minutes and you know, kids lie. When you go, how are your liver numbers? He goes, yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got a 1400.

[Chris Distefano]

When the voice goes up, it's pretty good.

[H. Foley]

Took a trip to John's Manor, swinging a miss Chrissy.

[Chris Distefano]

When Chris had the apartment in Bay Ridge.

[Yannis Pappas]

Oh, my God. He's known me through seven houses. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, literally, that could be two years with you.

[H. Foley]

Nice apartment in Bay ridge.

[Yannis Pappas]

Thank you. Yeah. 6802 Rich Boulevard, apartment 2K.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, that's what I was.

[Yannis Pappas]

Go hards. And when we knock on the door, sold it to nice people when he.

[Chris Distefano]

Was buying furniture for it. He was buying furniture. I was his consultant. So we made some bad decisions on the couch.

[Kevin Ryan]

You do need a yacht. So listen, I have. I have been a big fan of history hyenas. It was a great podcast. Your hiatus definitely helped prepare or propel our career with History Hiatus Shout out to a lot. A lot of Patreon funds cleared up when you guys went out.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, we could have just went, hey guys, go listen, go listen to. Are you garbage?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Which they did.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to you.

[Yannis Pappas]

Shout it out.

[Kevin Ryan]

A lot of crossover, a lot of crossover fans. But you do very much as he needs a kippy, you need a yacht, you need, you need someone, you got to be on a short rope. And Johnny's at Yanni understands another New York kitty.

[Yannis Pappas]

He's older, he's wiser, right? Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

In better shape at the moment.

[Yannis Pappas]

Shape at the moment.

[Chris Distefano]

Not really. Kids cut right now.

[Yannis Pappas]

I mean I'm just. The thing is.

[Chris Distefano]

You always tell me he said he's.

[H. Foley]

Not going to the garage.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah. But I've been still working out though.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, okay.

[Chris Distefano]

He's jacked.

[Yannis Pappas]

I do push ups, pull ups, sit ups every single day in the house. In the house. I do it every single day. I put up, I put a pull.

[Kevin Ryan]

Up the Rikers Fitness.

[Yannis Pappas]

I put up a bullet pull up bar my stepson's bedroom. So I'll go in there at 5:30 in the morning and I'll just do pull ups and then if he wakes up, he wakes up. If not, I just keep fucking going. Sometimes I wake him up with a fart.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Wait, is it in the doorway?

[Yannis Pappas]

It's in the doorway in his bedroom. It's the only doorway that fits because it's a fucking beaten down piece of shit house.

[H. Foley]

Can't do this. What are you, Max? Katie.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. I try to encourage him to get up and make his bed and do pull ups with me, but he won't do it. He just tries to sleep. But I bang out my 50 pull ups.

[Kevin Ryan]

Then I go do 50 pull ups.

[Yannis Pappas]

Not in a row. Five sets of 10, dude.

[H. Foley]

One is impressive.

[Yannis Pappas]

And then I go into. So I would have to be the.

[Kevin Ryan]

Strongest man in the world.

[Yannis Pappas]

I do the pull ups in his room. This is 5:30 in the morning. I go in his room, first thing, I knock out the pull ups. Then I go downstairs in the living room, I bang out my push ups. Then I go, I have a back room. I go and do my. I got a mat set up there. I do my sit ups. That's what I do. And I try to get that, bang that all out by 6:15. Then we start making coffee. The kid, one kid starts waking up. We start making dinner. I mean we start making breakfast. Heating up the milks for the baby. Who wants a tuna fish sandwich? We start doing sure it going.

[Kevin Ryan]

The house wakes up now, is that.

[H. Foley]

Regardless of what time you go to bed, are you keeping your nights pretty regimented when you're.

[Yannis Pappas]

I'm not late unless I got late, late, late spots, I typically go to bed.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's a late, late, late spot for you?

[Yannis Pappas]

I mean. No, I'm saying like if I'm on the road and the show starts at 10:30, sure. The headliners not going on till 11:15, I might not get back to the room till 1:00 in the morning. But if I'm at home in the city, I almost never, I almost am Never aware past 11pm that's what it.

[Chris Distefano]

Is when you have kids. And Chris, he's a pioneer of this. I gotta give him credit. I think it's great. Six o'clock shows.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, but when I do theaters, I do. What if it's one show? Seven, if we get lucky enough where we add tickets. 5pm Comedy clubs, they don't go late. No comedy clubs. Because they're, you know, comedy clubs. Got the mailing list. Are a bit easier to sell. Five and seven on a Saturday. On Fridays I gotta eat.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're doing a late Saturday?

[Yannis Pappas]

Never.

[Chris Distefano]

I love it.

[Yannis Pappas]

I will.

[Kevin Ryan]

They don't mind because they'll go, we'll have a local showcase because.

[Yannis Pappas]

Because then guess what? At the comedy club or the theater, I'm out by 8:30. Now go have a nice dinner in San Francisco. Like a fucking human being.

[H. Foley]

Taking the power back, gentlemen.

[Yannis Pappas]

You know what I mean?

[Chris Distefano]

Pioneer what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

You guys voted for it. You made the right choice this November.

[H. Foley]

I think about you taking the power back a lot. When we talk, when you talked about, you know, that you, you had the social media, you were getting too into it. You pulled back from that a little bit.

[Chris Distefano]

I gotta get off that.

[H. Foley]

I respect it.

[Yannis Pappas]

You gotta, you gotta, you gotta have, you gotta have rules you live by.

[H. Foley]

So when you're doing your spot, when you're lining up your spots in the city, you're ma. You're, you're, you're concentrating them on when you do them. And the rest of the week you're living like a dad. When I te dinner, going to bed.

[Yannis Pappas]

When I text the comedy clubs, when we have to text our availability, I'll say I'm available Thursday before 10, Wednesday before 9. I don't give them a time. I just say before this. So I don't care how many spots you give me, but I'm not going after nine or so you can do that.

[H. Foley]

I probably wouldn't get a call back.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, you Can I get the 150s?

[Yannis Pappas]

But you know, you could. You just gotta start the day early.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[Yannis Pappas]

Well, here's the thing. You can. But it's always everything in life is one step back too forward. So when I first did it, I got penalized a little bit, but I just fucking ate it. And I stayed afloat. I kept it going. And then let me remind you of the greatest quote of all time by Winston Church of that Giannis KN said.

[Kevin Ryan]

Many times, get those crowds.

[Yannis Pappas]

Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It's the courage to continue that counts.

[H. Foley]

I love it. So that's what punk.

[Chris Distefano]

Good one. It's a good one.

[Yannis Pappas]

Let another real estate agent fire me. I'll throw you little garage.

[Chris Distefano]

He's going like, what's the real estate agent?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. He's like, what don't you guys just buy cash? What's the mortgage rate?

[Chris Distefano]

My mother just. I just. I don't even know. I just have a place.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, you bought an apartment in bitcoin?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I just have a place.

[Yannis Pappas]

I mean, look at how comfortable. He's got no shoes on.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's crazy.

[Yannis Pappas]

He's doing this fucking podcast in socks.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. How great was it when you told your mom you actually had a job? I mean, that's all you need to.

[Kevin Ryan]

Tell what you don't know about it. He took off his Birkenstocks to produce the podcast.

[Yannis Pappas]

Where'd you grow up? What city?

[Kevin Ryan]

Connecticut.

[Yannis Pappas]

Oh, Greenwich. I was born there. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Fucking real money.

[H. Foley]

Oh, that's.

[Chris Distefano]

That's real money?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

That's not just made money. That's not just. Oh, my dad had a plumbing business and it exploded. Money, that shout out to that kind of money. You have a portrait of your ancestors in the foyer. Yeah. There's a Baker. You have a cousin named Baker. I know all the lineage.

[Yannis Pappas]

Is there a coal in your family that's generational way? Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Did you. Do you call your dad father, Papa? Father?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

No. I'll tell you a big trash rule that I learned.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hit me.

[Chris Distefano]

This was a. A move from New York. Never living in the country. In the burbs type.

[Kevin Ryan]

Such a New York fan.

[Chris Distefano]

The country? Yeah, it's in the country.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got three blades of grass, you call it the country. I'm out there. It's like you're working a field.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

And it doesn't matter where. It doesn't matter where you live. It doesn't matter where you live. Live at all. It could be Westchester. It could be all. You're upstate. The kid lives upstate. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

So might as well be in Newberg.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I mean, you ask anyone from Long Island, I mean, they think we live in like Canada because they just look at things like, why would you leave Long Island? So if like they got to go anywhere, they're like, why are you going to Canada?

[Kevin Ryan]

My passport to get up there.

[Chris Distefano]

An hour and a 15 away.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude, I told you the most New York thing I ever heard. I told a kid. We went up to like, we went up like on a hike outside of, you know, I don't know, like two hours up and the kid asked me if we took the one train there. It's like, dude, it's a mountain.

[H. Foley]

No, the one M25 right up there.

[Kevin Ryan]

You take the one. This guy's a funny. He's like 32 years old.

[Chris Distefano]

So this is what I learned, right? I didn't know, I had no idea about this rule that the community gets upset about this every community. We got the blow up pool for the little girls and we started doing.

[Kevin Ryan]

Backyard, front yard on that.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, that.

[Yannis Pappas]

Oh God, I didn't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

As the king of the burbs, I know where this is going.

[H. Foley]

Grilling in the drive.

[Yannis Pappas]

No clue.

[Chris Distefano]

I had no clue that I was an eyesore on the community.

[Yannis Pappas]

Not do that in the front door.

[Chris Distefano]

Why, why is that? We were on the front. We got a nice, I mean, you know, we're hosing it down.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's backyard. You know, I, I can't explain.

[Yannis Pappas]

Other people see that. We. Nobody want, we don't want to see a hosing. Giving your kids a bath in the front of your house.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yanni's got the per.

[H. Foley]

Plus got a lamb on the spit roast.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

I was also leaving, leaving the.

[Kevin Ryan]

You want the iro?

[Chris Distefano]

I was leaving the boots outside the front door.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ah, that's all backyard.

[Yannis Pappas]

Backyard. I knew that. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

How.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why is that?

[H. Foley]

You got a side door?

[Chris Distefano]

Huh?

[H. Foley]

You got a side door?

[Chris Distefano]

No, we got a back door and front door.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that's back. That's back. You or a mini garage. Whatever you want to do.

[Chris Distefano]

I didn't know, I didn't know. You're not supposed to use the front lawn.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, I bought, I bought.

[Chris Distefano]

It's not for use.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nah, no, that's for.

[H. Foley]

You want to throw the ball around.

[Chris Distefano]

You can't put the barbecue in the front, right?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, you're gonna get deported back to Queens.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, they already have meetings. They're like, there's a Greek living on.

[H. Foley]

The block now, so just be careful around Chinatown, buddy.

[Kevin Ryan]

I do, I do agree. I mean, I Get that. It's in the front yard. Seems normal. You'd be like oh, it is more community. Hey, I'm out here, I'm waving. How you doing? You passing by? Because in the backyard it's very by yourself. But that's what the suburbs are. Hide your, hide your, hide your seat.

[Yannis Pappas]

The suburbs is a. Is a American invention too. Like most other countries, they don't have that everyone lives. Proximity to the city, whatever. But the suburbs, this is America, baby.

[H. Foley]

Long island first suburbs, right?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. Even.

[Kevin Ryan]

Even owning there's a Levitt town outside.

[Yannis Pappas]

Even owning a home. Like how we all say oh we gotta own your rent or your got a mortgage. Like in England they're like well I don't know why you would own. Like there's well you can own. But they're like this is not a. That's like not a goal of their dream. They're like we can, we're fine renting.

[H. Foley]

CQ doesn't own Colin Quinn. He told us on the show.

[Yannis Pappas]

No, he's been rented for years.

[Kevin Ryan]

I bought a. I bought my first car ever is. Was a Chevy Lumina 1995 Chevy Luminance. I shout out, shout out to loom. I bought it again kind of as like a. Just I wanted to buy my first car. I think it's funny when people get money they buy like Porsches and stuff. I'll just buy Chevy Lumina piece of car.

[Chris Distefano]

Well that cuz. Cuz there's something like. Like guys like you Philly New York, you don't believe that this is happening, right?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

There's a certain.

[Kevin Ryan]

Also I don't roll in a circle. I can drive or I can pull up in a Porsche.

[Chris Distefano]

No, I've seen old pictures.

[Kevin Ryan]

One of my cousin would steal it.

[Chris Distefano]

I've seen old pictures of you. I've seen those old pictures. And let me tell you something. Your life is a miracle. I mean miracle and miracle on Benjamin Franklin Park.

[Kevin Ryan]

I should be driving a truck.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean the trash that this kid was. Yeah. I mean have you seen his old pictures? I mean we're talking about partying in a first floor of a Ramada Inn.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was a days in and it was the third floor trash. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean these guys, these Wawa twins are a Philly miracle. Yeah. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

But I bought. So now I'm at my house. I'm at my house the burbs nice joint. You know what I mean? And neighbor. Neighbor is a very nice, very nice very big home. Neighbor does very stereotypical suburban family. You know what I mean? Guys, a doctor. She's a, you know, home stays at home. But she's very in very good shape, very, you know, pretty lady. And I pull up, I'm like, I get the car and it's a. It is a fucking proper piece of shit. And now it's just got to live in the driveway.

[Yannis Pappas]

You see?

[H. Foley]

You see it? I'm like, which one is it? He's like, you see the lumen? And I'm like, like, yeah, it's a.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's a tough look. And she's like, oh, what's that? She walked out. And I'm like, I bought the first car I ever had. Kind of sentimental, you know, like kind of a bit, you know.

[H. Foley]

She's like, she's got it backed in like a psychopath.

[Kevin Ryan]

She went, looks expensive and walking. Close the door. And I was like, well, now I get. She knows there's just gonna be a piece of shit car parked next to her house. And they work very hard.

[Yannis Pappas]

So what you're gonna see in a couple of weeks is a little thing we call a for sale sign or a privacy fence.

[Kevin Ryan]

And Chrissy, you can move in. We could be neighbors. Yeah, I'll come to I. A little bit of news. I'm also going to be spending more time down there this summer because my wife is. We're expecting a child. Oh, congratulations.

[H. Foley]

Believe this guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

So the idea. So I'm.

[H. Foley]

How far along Is leaving me high and dry up here?

[Kevin Ryan]

Four months.

[Yannis Pappas]

Congrats, man.

[Chris Distefano]

You can tell after. What is it? Three months, you can tell?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah, three months. You could tell.

[Kevin Ryan]

So we're going to be. The idea is because we have the apartment here, but with the space and the. Just everything is easier in the burbs because it's bigger, of course, is we're gonna be go there and then I go. That might be the last. I don't know if we're ever gonna come back and spend more time here.

[Chris Distefano]

What's the. What's the.

[Yannis Pappas]

No, you'll come in for work?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's the drive an hour? Not bad, not bad.

[Yannis Pappas]

How many you come in, what, three days a week for this?

[H. Foley]

Yeah, two, three days a week schedule.

[Yannis Pappas]

I mean, people could do that. I mean, people do that every day. They do.

[Chris Distefano]

One hour's nothing.

[Kevin Ryan]

I just. Yeah, I just. Once I see myself living there as much, I go, what the fuck am I gonna go back to a one bedroom in Washington I needs for?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, you're probably not. Well, you can't. Especially because it's one, by the way. It's not going to stop at one. No, it's probably going to be two. Three.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean you could use it as a place to cheat on your wife with that.

[Yannis Pappas]

True.

[Chris Distefano]

Please keep that.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Get your head out of your.

[Chris Distefano]

Or at least get some hookers.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean I can also just get a nicer hotel. Or you. I don't need to go to a office.

[Yannis Pappas]

270 hook it somewhere nice. Take it like a Candlewood sweets or something nice.

[Chris Distefano]

Or you can rent it. You can rent it to Dominicans that are hiding from ice.

[Yannis Pappas]

True.

[H. Foley]

Not me. I'm staying Astoria, Queens.

[Yannis Pappas]

Hell yeah.

[H. Foley]

They dragged me out of the apartment.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's what it is.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, they're not gonna drag him.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's gonna cut the wall.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it's gonna be. It's gonna be a couple of hefty guys helping out. You can have neighbors coming over. Give it a hand.

[H. Foley]

No way. I can't do it.

[Kevin Ryan]

But that's.

[Yannis Pappas]

How did you.

[Kevin Ryan]

How did you know the feedback. I'm sorry to cut. How did you know the feedback of the. The pool in the front yard? Did somebody go hey, you can't be doing it because Versi's up there. Then verse he go, buddy, you can't be doing it.

[H. Foley]

You should have talked to Paul Verzi.

[Chris Distefano]

No, this is what Versi did. This is what Versi did. Right? Strange looks from neighbors. Right? Hi. Some waves with some interesting looks.

[H. Foley]

Now. Is this just in the summer? Is that thing up there now?

[Chris Distefano]

No, no. Summer. Sorry.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did you winterize it?

[Yannis Pappas]

No.

[Chris Distefano]

But even right now I got a.

[H. Foley]

Ice skating in it.

[Chris Distefano]

I got a shovel right outside the front door. That's a no.

[Yannis Pappas]

No.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Kevin Ryan]

The buddy. Nothing. The front.

[H. Foley]

No. Fuck that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did it snow off to the side?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it's off to the side.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is there snow on the ground? 55. Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

I gotta move it now.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm trying to learn the rules. So with no snow on the ground you got to move.

[H. Foley]

Is there a bag. Is there. Is there a half used bag of rock salt now next to it?

[Chris Distefano]

No. All right.

[Kevin Ryan]

With a coffee mug in there.

[Chris Distefano]

That's in the garage. That's in the garage. The rock salts in the garage.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

I say shovel at the front door. Them. It's not. It's not like a. Like an old one. It's a nice shovel.

[Yannis Pappas]

How about this? I had to take. Sorry to cut you off because you just made me think of it. Two weeks ago I had to take my little daughter right to the doctor because my nine year Old daughter, the cup that we use for the salt for the ice, she filled it up with water and gave it to my rock salt. But it's fine, though. But it actually doesn't do anything to you. So if the kids at home, I mean, you should go to the doctor. But the doctor said it's actually not that big of a deal.

[Chris Distefano]

It's good.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what they said when I had cirrhosis in the liver. You don't listen to these cracks.

[H. Foley]

That's a queen's doctor. They might say something different in the burbs.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, okay.

[Chris Distefano]

No. So, yeah, Versi just at some point it came up and he didn't say me. He was just like, you know, it's like people who have all their stuff in the front of the house. And then in my mind, I went, oh, is he passively?

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you think that was a subtle jab at the papas?

[H. Foley]

He's trying to do you a favor.

[Yannis Pappas]

He's like, you know, people that got stuff in the front of the house, next thing you know, they got goats, are throwing on wigs, make you believe they're transsexual. So that's it.

[Chris Distefano]

I don't know if he meant it, but that's what made me think of it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Gotcha.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, you can't have the pool in the front.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it does make sense. It is more communal. I get that. If you're gonna hang out, you want to see other pay. How you doing, Sally? Demi the whole nine yards. Yeah, but that's a backyard. All right.

[Chris Distefano]

It's good to know. So it's officially a trashy move.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

My aunt and uncle built one on this. Put an above ground pool on the side of the house. Luckily it collapsed like three weeks ago.

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't pull the right permits.

[Yannis Pappas]

Pull on the side of the house.

[H. Foley]

That has a nice neighborhood.

[Yannis Pappas]

You almost never see that. That's. That's rough.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I was always, I, I, you know, above ground pools are the trashier pool of, you know, versus an in ground.

[Chris Distefano]

But you avoid the taxes.

[Kevin Ryan]

You look at the price point on them things and how quickly they can be up and running and the water's cooler and refresh. It makes so much sense.

[Chris Distefano]

And if you get a guy to.

[Kevin Ryan]

Build nice, a nice deck around the deck around it.

[H. Foley]

You have to hold my mom's hold that. It's all deck. My whole backyard's all deck.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's an above ground pool with the.

[H. Foley]

Decks and above ground in ground.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what it is. It's pretty good.

[Chris Distefano]

But you get no taxes. They don't tax you on that, Right?

[H. Foley]

I don't know.

[Chris Distefano]

Because it's not a permanent for a pool.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, it's a permanent fixture.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. You get hit. That's the whole point for the above ground pool.

[H. Foley]

So your property tax goes up, up.

[Chris Distefano]

Everything goes up. You get your insurance goes up, your property tax go.

[Yannis Pappas]

I looked at a house in Dobbs Ferry, New York, really nice area. I looked at house and I go, and the house was cheap, right?

[Kevin Ryan]

And.

[Yannis Pappas]

And they said, oh, this house got a very cool feature, believe it or not. It's got an in ground pool. It's got an indoor pool.

[Kevin Ryan]

I like that.

[Yannis Pappas]

Indoor pool at that price. There it is.

[Chris Distefano]

There it is. Sorry about that.

[H. Foley]

I did that, buddy, that ain't you.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're £190.

[H. Foley]

I chipped away at it. But you will take the blame. Yeah, yeah. Now my TR is gonna go on. Ladies and gentlemen, Sheath Underwear, one of our absolute favorite sponsors, an OG sponsor of all comedy podcasts.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to them.

[H. Foley]

So if you're a comedy podcast fan, Sheath Underwear has been helping support comedy podcasts for years.

[Kevin Ryan]

They help us keep the lights on at the infancy stage of ayg. We wouldn't be able to do it without them all plugging aside.

[H. Foley]

All plugging aside.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're real ones. Shout out to Robert, the owner, he's a real one.

[H. Foley]

They got a fantastic. All right. No, they were the first guys doing it. Nobody does it better than them. Give them a try.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

If you don't love the underwear, I'll come to your ass and put them on my head.

[Kevin Ryan]

But you're gonna love them. If you're not familiar, they have a dual pouch design that keeps everything in one place. They got one for the wiener, one for the berries, the whole nine yards. You can mix and match. You can do whatever you want. Listen, this is the first time I was like, ah, man. If you spend a couple extra bucks, you get a significantly better product. You put these on, you're not going to want to go back to regular underwear. It changes your day, whether you're at the gym, your work, whatever. I mean, listen, you can wear these things for two, three days at a time. They're fan friggin tastic. But don't take our word for it. Join the thousands of satisfied customers who have made the switch to Sheath. Head over to sheath.com, use the promo code GARBAGE to save 20% off your first order and upgrade your underwear game today. Do it, kid.

[H. Foley]

We got to talk about factor Shout.

[Kevin Ryan]

Out to Factor, baby.

[H. Foley]

We've been talking about factor a lot. And you know why that is?

[Kevin Ryan]

Because they're fantastic.

[H. Foley]

Because they're fantastic, gang. If you're trying to lose weight, if you got limited time during the week, spring's coming up, you got a busy schedule. Factor is the answer. I'm telling you. You take them out, you throw them in the microwave. Two minutes, you got hot and ready meals ready to go. They're fresh, never frozen. You could pick from keto. You could do this, you could do that. I'm telling you right now. The only problem is you're going to want to eat six of them because they're not good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Big man's got a control problem. Don't blame factor. Factor has chef made gourmet meals that make eating well easy. They're dietitian approved, ready to heat. Like the big man said, two minutes, you can throw them in the microwave. I like to be a little chef myself. Put them in a pan, frying pan, heat it up. How you doing? Shout out to the shredded chicken taco bowl. Got me through a lot of hard, lonely nights. Factor arrives fresh and fully prepared, perfect for any active, busy lifestyle. You can lose up to eight pounds in eight weeks with factor Keto meals based on a randomized controlled clinical trial with factor keto. Results will vary, obviously, depending on diet and exercise.

[H. Foley]

They fill you up.

[Kevin Ryan]

They got over 40 options, over 8 dietary preferences to choose from. It's real easy. You can eat smart with factor. Get [e-mail] FactorPodcast and use the code FactorPodcast to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. That's Code Factor Podcast at FactorMeals.com Factorpodcast to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. Do it.

[Yannis Pappas]

I did an indoor pool. I said, wow, unbelievable. Looking at this, I'm saying, obviously you don't need something like that. That's probably like a hazard for the kids. But, you know, I'm starting to say, man, what an awesome thing, jumping a.

[Kevin Ryan]

Pool in the morning.

[Yannis Pappas]

I could have like, this is a collapse in. If the price was so low that it was getting people look. And then I said, what's the catch? He goes, well, it's not a catch. It's just because it's an indoor pool. The taxes went up a little bit. And I said, but these. Oh. I said, okay. So, yeah, so Hitman tax goes, yeah, it's a little bit higher. I said, what is it? He said, $88,000.

[Kevin Ryan]

Holy.

[H. Foley]

A year.

[Yannis Pappas]

A year I said excuse me. He said it's 88. I said, what the. Why? He said because you got the indoor pool.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I was like, oh, so your property taxes every year you would have to pay 88 grand.

[Yannis Pappas]

Here's the thing. Yes.

[H. Foley]

Holy shit.

[Yannis Pappas]

So. So that's where you start. So obviously that's why the price of the house was so low. And then as soon as they tell you the truth, everybody just goes the other way. Obviously that makes sense now because you can't have a high priced house and taxes like that for normal people.

[H. Foley]

What if you drain it and make a little skate park?

[Yannis Pappas]

That's why. That's what I said. I said could there be a fucking. And you know what?

[Kevin Ryan]

Ball pit?

[Yannis Pappas]

What if I take it out and it's not an in ground pool. I want to make it a podcast studio. And he said, he said 200 grand. Talk to the city, the town and all. I was like, I'm not doing any of that. Yeah, but there's the pools. Cause a big tax there.

[Chris Distefano]

Who is the guy who built that? Like a polo player?

[Yannis Pappas]

No, in a music probably.

[Kevin Ryan]

Probably different back in the day.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. He said like an old school. Like a guy from like the 60s who was a music producer in the 60s. It's like an old school vintage kind of house.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, they. They seem so nice. Like the house in which I think is in. I just saw a thing, the thing on Long Island. I think it's from. What does it. Meet the. No, what's the. Meet the. Meet the parents.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

In that one where they're. I don't know if you remember, they used to. Oh, that house, that house. That's. That's on Long Island. But that's that old, like 70s. An indoor pool. You got some chairs around it. I guess if you're rich you don't gotta work all day. You could just hop in there in the morning.

[H. Foley]

The mold factor though, even if I.

[Yannis Pappas]

Could afford it, I would never want an indoor. Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Unless you go with the salt water.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Or just put it in the front yard.

[Yannis Pappas]

And so my friend who's a doctor came over when I was living on Staten Island. We live on Staten Island. Had everyone over in the house. We made it a salt. That's another thing we did. We converted from chlorine to salt water, then sold it. So we did all these things. We had a beautiful saltwater pool. It's insane what I did, but we have a. We had a saltwater pool. And so I was there. My friend who's a Doctor was over there with his kids. We're going to the pool all day. And then he texts me, goes, hey, by the way, is your pool saltwater or chlorine? I said, oh, it's salt water. Why? I said, you okay? And he goes, yeah. He goes, now me or the kids don't have to take a bath tonight. And I was like, what do you mean? And he goes, salt water, natural skin. Naturally bathed skin. You don't have to take a bath, Beth.

[Chris Distefano]

And then you're like, but I pissed in it.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. Yeah. So that's a little tip from an actual medical doctor.

[Chris Distefano]

Wow.

[Yannis Pappas]

Saltwater pool is just like a big benefit.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not quoting any medical doctor. You're quoting also. You could have just said doctor. The fact that you're going medical doctor means. Means the qualifications. Yeah, he works.

[Yannis Pappas]

He worked at the city. He's a secretary of the city on D.

[H. Foley]

We're good for the week there.

[Yannis Pappas]

He charged an ambulance.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. I started a audio podcast program. You're like, all right. You don't know what you're doing.

[H. Foley]

Listen, why we have you here? We wanted to ask some New York. Both New York kids, hardcore New York kids. Brooklyn, Queens. We had some New York etiquette questions that we wanted to run by you guys if we could.

[Kevin Ryan]

Absolutely.

[H. Foley]

I'll kick it off first. You're walking down the street with your lady. All right? Is she on the inside or is she on the outside?

[Yannis Pappas]

Inside that. If I'm walking on the street and my girl's on the outside. I know this now, but in the beginning of our relationship, I would just pick up, she's angry, and then it would be because, you know, she's on the outside and I'm on the inside. And she would be like, you're not protecting me. So you got to be on the. Girl has to be on the inside. Guy has to be on the outside. I just do it second hand nature.

[H. Foley]

Now you'll do the switch.

[Yannis Pappas]

You have to. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

My wife's from Long island, so we're never walking anywhere.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, she's in the passenger seat.

[Chris Distefano]

She's in the passenger seat. She's got her seat belt on. I don't even know if we've ever walked. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

More than like.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

On the driveway to get maybe to the restaurant. I don't remember who's first. We go from the restaurant back to the living room, and we just sit in a cul de sac.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Real quick.

[H. Foley]

That's a side note. This is contention with us, with. With me and my Wife. When you're walking into the restaurant, all right, you have the reservation and stuff like that, do you walk in first or do you open the door for her and let her in? And what did they prefer? Is this a thing? Because my girl doesn't like to walk in first. But I look like an asshole opening the door and walking in with her behind.

[Chris Distefano]

I agree with you.

[Kevin Ryan]

You gotta let, you open the door, they go in.

[H. Foley]

She doesn't want to talk to the hostess though.

[Chris Distefano]

No, she needs to learn the etiquette. You open the door, she walks in, she steps aside, in your case, way to the side.

[Kevin Ryan]

She takes cover.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, and then she takes cover. And then you walk in, then she walks behind you and you say the name. Because if the reservations in her name, then you gotta grow a fucking dick. Reservations gotta be in the guy's name, right? Yeah. And then you walk first from there. Okay, but the initial door open is definitely let her through. But then she's gotta step to the side and let the man through.

[H. Foley]

Chrissy, you concur?

[Yannis Pappas]

I say I go in, I let the, I let her in first. She goes in first.

[Chris Distefano]

She has. Are Puerto Ricans allowed here?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yes, exactly. I go, I heard first. I tipped the guy, I tipped the matri d in Puerto Rico.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sorry, sorry for the noise.

[Yannis Pappas]

Sorry. So I, Yeah, it's gonna be a.

[Chris Distefano]

Little louder in here.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah, yes, yes.

[H. Foley]

You guys allow boombox?

[Yannis Pappas]

Well, usually, yeah. Usually, usually I go in first because she's tying up the pitbull outside the restaurant. So, so I, I go in, I go in first. What I do, I'm sorry, I let her in first, but then what I do is I scurry past her, I catch match up. So I let her go in first and then I sprint to the thing and I say party of two for Stefano. Okay, well, actually, in my case, usually when we go, it's party of 19 for Stephano, for Rodriguez, me and her entire family.

[H. Foley]

Are you picking up the check?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, I mean, I, I can't tell you. There hasn't been a time where anyone else has even ever reached for their wallet. It's, it's like they don't have arms. So I'm type. No, no, no, actually, great people. I, I, I pulls out your wallet. No, you know what it is, because we, a lot of times when I go out with, with her family, it's amazing. They're awesome. We go to Spanish restaurants. They don't, they don't fucking beat you over the head. Spanish restaurants, I could take a night. I Could take our whole family party at 10. And they usually order for the table. Her mom's great. She orders for the table. They know how to, like, you know, really, like, everybody eats well and they order big things. So I'm only paying a couple hundred bucks for a party attendance. Not bad.

[H. Foley]

I would assume her mom's probably pretty fire in the kitchen.

[Yannis Pappas]

Oh, my God. It's unbelievable. It's literally unbelievable. I remember, remember for a while, my stepson wasn't eating meat. Like, she just. He didn't want to eat meat. Something with animals, whatever. And so he would come out, you know, when she would come over and, like, watch the kids, she would slip meat into his rice and he would have no idea. I was like, you know, like, literally, you're, like, breaking, like.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

She was like, he needs to get protein.

[Kevin Ryan]

He ain't wrong.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Do you come home sometimes and there's something just going on the stove?

[Yannis Pappas]

Oh, yeah. There's always. There's always something simmering when her mom's there. Yeah. Just always cook it and what it is too, you know, it is about her too. Her mom's very old school and it's just like a generational thing. It's just because, like, I'm the man and I'm, you know. Yes. I work. You're right. But I mean, we do comedy. Fucking run around. She'll always. I walk in, I walk in, she'll say, oh, hi, sweetie. I'll say, hi. And she goes. Every time. She goes, there's a plate for you in the oven. She puts the plate in the oven and it's just there. There's like, warm food for me. Doesn't matter how hungry I am. If she's awake and in there, she's. Oh, there's. I put a plate for you. The oven or in the microwave. It's there. It's what it is.

[Chris Distefano]

I think. I think that his. That family only got with Chris because he was friends with me.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Because they're big. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, get free tickets to the Mauricio.

[Chris Distefano]

The only friend I have whose family just wanted pictures with me as soon as they met.

[Yannis Pappas]

Not only that, and then they wanted her and tell him what they wanted. My. His. My girl's mom wanted.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I had to. She had a nice ashtray that she was into.

[Yannis Pappas]

Ashtray.

[Chris Distefano]

She wanted me to sign the ashtray.

[Yannis Pappas]

He signed her ashtray.

[Chris Distefano]

Is that classy?

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, God.

[Yannis Pappas]

And she still has it. She has it ashtray that's signed by Maurice that she won't dump It.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

She won't ask.

[Chris Distefano]

True story.

[Yannis Pappas]

She won't ash it.

[Chris Distefano]

She came out of the house. I was in the car. She came out of the house with the ashtray. She went and got the ashtray, and she was hoping that me and the ashtray would be together so that I could sign it.

[Kevin Ryan]

What is there. I mean, that's why I get a.

[H. Foley]

Picture of Yanni with a candle in front of it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is there anything. What's the meaning behind the ash?

[Chris Distefano]

She uses it a lot.

[Yannis Pappas]

She uses it a lot. And she just wanted him to sign the ashtray, and she. And he did.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's bonkos. All right, let's say you're at a pizza shop, you know, in the neighborhood joint, and you want a slice of pepperoni. Do you point at the slice?

[H. Foley]

You.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is it. Is it. Is it okay to call out the slice you want and go, give me that slice?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Are you okay with. That's a very New York thing.

[Chris Distefano]

That's fine.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, I'll say that. I'll say. You know, obviously, if it's. If it's Pete. Regular slice, I'll just say, can I get a regular? That's it. Not a fucking plain slice with cheese or anything.

[Chris Distefano]

Plain sliced, with cheese. That's exactly how, you know, somebody moves.

[Kevin Ryan]

Move to the city, we say, well, in Philly, it's. I grew up as playing. Let it. You know, you get a plane. Slice of playing. That's what.

[Yannis Pappas]

We wouldn't say that. I would never. Nobody would say slice. I would say, just give me a regular. Give me a regular, or give me a Sicilian, which is, you know, one of the square ones. And then if. If it's a pepperoni. Say pepperoni. But then sometimes they have, like, these mystery slices. I'll just say, give me one of those.

[Kevin Ryan]

Give me one. And two of them.

[Yannis Pappas]

Point at that and two of them.

[H. Foley]

And not when it comes to the Sicilian. Are you saying, give me a corner. Give me a middle. Give me a. Give me a side.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's very normal in New York.

[H. Foley]

And what is your preference?

[Chris Distefano]

I like the middle. You like fluffy middle.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that's the Greek in them.

[Yannis Pappas]

I mean, I like. I like a corner because I'm an actual. I'm a respectable.

[Kevin Ryan]

Give me a corner.

[H. Foley]

But I respect it.

[Chris Distefano]

It's a Sicilian. It's a Sicilian.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can we get a corner? Sicilian.

[Chris Distefano]

Can I get a regular? Or you could go, can I get a slice? If you say, can I get a slice? They know what you mean.

[Yannis Pappas]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Slice.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

I mean, we're gonna get pizza on the walk.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

When Yanni says, we asked him, what do you. The first time you're on the show, we asked you. We're like, what do you like playing Slice. I hear that in my head every time I get a piece of pizza.

[Yannis Pappas]

Nobody eats pizza like this guy. He can. I've seen him eat eight, nine in a sitting. Easy.

[H. Foley]

Just makes me.

[Chris Distefano]

It's really true. And you said it the best, funniest way. He said, you eat an alarming amount of pizza.

[Yannis Pappas]

Alarming. It's the word I use.

[H. Foley]

Have either you, speaking of pizza, been the Chrissy Pizza's pizza over in Greenpoint.

[Chris Distefano]

No good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Chrissy Pizza. Shout out to him. A buddy of ours now, but a fan of the show originally, Howie, an artist. He. He started off making them during the pandemic in his. In his apartment in Queens. Action Bronson. Somehow he made some buzz. Action Bronson found him, made it, and now he like blew up and he's got his own joint out there. It's find out.

[Yannis Pappas]

Chrissy's Pizza will love it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Chrissy hit them up. You hit up Chrissy and he'll go, pizza. He'll go, hey, it's fair. He'd be like, I can get you. You got company. Pick it up at three. No slices. That's her thing. No slices. Pies. He does three or four different kind of pies.

[Chris Distefano]

Looks good.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're great. Go in. I just did it. You got to go in. You say, hey, I'm picking up for Chris or whoever. Like whole. The whole. Whole call in or whole. Be there. You got to take care of the stat. Boom. Hit the staff, you know, ate them all item heavy.

[Chris Distefano]

You gotta hit him.

[Kevin Ryan]

I. No, we grease them.

[Yannis Pappas]

You grease them a little bit so.

[Kevin Ryan]

They give you everybody. Yeah, I grease them. Hey, I got a text. Hey, you have to do that. The boys appreciate. Yeah, I said, hey, don't wait.

[Yannis Pappas]

You too.

[Chris Distefano]

You tip the pizza guys?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, of course, dude. First of all, there's pizza guys. Of course. It's also a hookup. There's like a three hour wait and I get it. He texted me. Just go, your. Your pies will be ready right at three.

[Yannis Pappas]

Like in a tip.

[H. Foley]

Exactly. He's Joe Pesci.

[Kevin Ryan]

I just said I went one time.

[Chris Distefano]

He was describing it that way. You were describing.

[Kevin Ryan]

You guys seem a little jealous for me.

[Yannis Pappas]

Okay, I'll tell you what. One of the biggest honors of my entire life, especially kid from Queens. There's a restaurant in Queens on Metropolitan Avenue called D's Pizza. Shout Out D's Pizza on Metro. One of the best. The best, I think the best food in the neighborhood. They named the pizza after me. It was literally like. That's when you feel like, okay, I'm doing something.

[Chris Distefano]

We also have. We have the Chicken Cuzlet.

[Yannis Pappas]

We have a Chicken Coslet sandwich named after us. Yeah, that's how you know.

[H. Foley]

Either you have your picture on the wall.

[Chris Distefano]

He does.

[Yannis Pappas]

I got a big one. Prince Street Pizza.

[Chris Distefano]

Huge.

[H. Foley]

You made it.

[Chris Distefano]

That's why I think, like.

[Yannis Pappas]

But it says history hyenas, though. You just weren't there.

[Chris Distefano]

No, no, it doesn't. I think it's just you.

[Yannis Pappas]

No, it says Chrissy D. History Hyenas. Oh, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, look, then even it's not a picture of me, but I'm done. My whole goal was to be up in a pizza place. I mean, that's huge.

[Kevin Ryan]

Johnny's in a dry cleaner.

[H. Foley]

The new huge Travolta's got a picture in every pizza place in the city.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's what it is. That's a big, big, big moment.

[Chris Distefano]

I always wonder, like, Italians who get upset about, like, the stereotypes of everyone calling the mafia and stuff. It's like, yeah, well, maybe if not every Italian restaurant had every single mob actor in the hallway to the bathroom. I mean, you guys are doing the stereotype to yourself. Yeah, maybe if the owner would change jazz palmitarian, then he's sitting there with Puss Big from Sopranos.

[Kevin Ryan]

They'll have that last supper of all of them drawn together. Yeah, it's like Scarface.

[Yannis Pappas]

Maybe. Maybe if. If the best pizzeria on Staten island wasn't named Goodfellas. That's literally what it's called.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, you go to Uncle Vinnie's. It's a guy with a tommy gun in the back of the. Why you stereotyping us?

[Kevin Ryan]

You know, we're not all in the mob.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. And then meanwhile, it's the fake bullet holes behind your head. At Uncle Vinny's, this guy's serving penny vodka that he's making in the back to the customers like it's his Nona's house.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it's like that. Maybe you're. Maybe you guys are owning that stereotype a little bit.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a good point. I never thought about it that way.

[H. Foley]

That's good. Go, John. Yanni touched on this a little bit. When you were both in the city at the apartment, were you okay, or do you think it's okay to put the shoes outside of the apartment door?

[Chris Distefano]

No, not an apartment building.

[H. Foley]

No, no, no.

[Yannis Pappas]

You don't find a yard though.

[Chris Distefano]

That's great. I know.

[Kevin Ryan]

But Yanni, that's your front yard.

[Chris Distefano]

Communal. It's a communal.

[H. Foley]

That's a gentleman's answer.

[Chris Distefano]

When I see that I know Chinese live in that apartment 100. The Chinese family in there.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

That's it. That's all I know.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's also communal space. And you know, we've all, you know, we all grow up in apartments. It's like I also can't trust that the people in the apartments aren't gonna take this. Okay. They're probably not gonna steal them outside my door in the suburbs, but they might steal them outside my apartment because we haven't made it yet. We're living in the apartment still.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Only time where there's, you know, there's every rule has an exception is like if it was snowing outside. Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

Your wet boots or something like that. And then you get maybe overnight till the morning. That's all you get.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I see people with, with open umbrellas out in front of. And it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm like, that's a dry out.

[Yannis Pappas]

Oh, that's another thing my girl won't. She walked out of two houses that work perfect cuz they didn't have coat closets. As soon as you open the door, she's like, I'm not putting. I'm not going to live in a house where I have to walk down the hallway to the coat closet.

[H. Foley]

I respect that.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. She's like, because the kids are going to. The house can be a mess. I'm going to get angry. There's not enough room to even build a coat closet. We can't buy this house.

[Chris Distefano]

One.

[Yannis Pappas]

One other. I tried to put up a little fucking shed inside the house. She won't have that either.

[Chris Distefano]

One caveat. If you have the floor to yourself. You know those apartment buildings where you have the floor to yourself? It's like apartments on that. Oh yeah. And you can do. It still looks gross.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's. That's still your property.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, but it's your property.

[Yannis Pappas]

How about this? My neighbor across the hallway from me in the apartment I used to live in, 6802 Ridge Boulevard. They used to leave their bicycle outside their door.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's crap. People do that.

[Yannis Pappas]

Big problem. I didn't care. But the super would get angry. We'd get these passive aggressive emails. Leave your bicycle out. The fire department will give us ticket.

[Chris Distefano]

He was Russian.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was his Asian accent.

[Yannis Pappas]

That was it that. No.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

He was from New Jersey.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got one. You're trying to. You're on a one way street. You're trying to parallel park. You're having trouble. You're blocking traffic. How many attempts until you got to give it up?

[Chris Distefano]

Good question, Chrissy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Or is there a time limit? 30 or what? What is it?

[Chris Distefano]

This is going to be a tough question for him. I know him well. I mean he's probably the best parallel parker I've ever.

[Yannis Pappas]

There's nothing in my crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's nothing marks.

[Yannis Pappas]

Do you know how like. It's like Wayne Grant.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's the autism.

[Yannis Pappas]

I'm doing.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's working the angle, bro.

[Yannis Pappas]

I'm doing. I'm doing the arenas in parallel parking lots. I'm literally. I'm talking about. My blood pressure is the lowest it is all day.

[Chris Distefano]

He's a. He's three move. Chrissy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really.

[Chris Distefano]

Boom. In tightest spaces I've seen. And he'll say it before. He just goes. You know when someone usually brags, you're like, I don't know if he's gonna get in this. He'll say. He's like, I don't know. I was born with the ghost gift of just being able to do this. I've seen him split hairs getting in.

[Yannis Pappas]

I could do it.

[Chris Distefano]

It's crazy.

[Yannis Pappas]

Righty and lefty too. It doesn't matter.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. How did that happen? You just had a natural, I think.

[Yannis Pappas]

Just growing up on, you know, streets that were from colonial America in Ridgewood. That narrow. And I was just able to do it. And I never. I. I just know the angles. I'm very good at spatial recognition. I know exactly how many to the center me or what I have before I'll hit the car behind me or in front of me. I could do it with cameras. No cameras. Turn around. Not turn around.

[Kevin Ryan]

You do this move. You look.

[Yannis Pappas]

I can. I could do. I. I don't. Yes. That's what. I don't rely on the cameras. You're more of a feel guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

He feels it. You know the.

[Chris Distefano]

I've never seen anything like it. It's actually sort of like an autistic special power that I don't understand.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

The real skill on that is knowing exactly how far to go up on the other car before you turn it.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's easy for me. I just eyeball mirrored side mirror to side mirror. That's where you start. And then you start cutting the wheel. When the crease between the front door and the. And the back door, that little, you know. You know, basically the car gets split in two. That's when you start hitting the wheel. Yeah, that's what it is. It works like a charm, to answer your question.

[Kevin Ryan]

Memorizes all the license plates on the block, too.

[Chris Distefano]

I get embarrassed, so I just. I'll try it like, twice. And then, you know, and then I'll get embarrassed and just say in my head it's too tight and to just pull out. Even though if I like. Even if there's plenty of space, if I do twice and there's people waiting on pulling out.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember leaving anyway.

[Yannis Pappas]

Remember you used to have the car that had, like, FDNY plates somehow. Remember? Wasn't there, like, a thing you had, like, an FDNY sticker?

[Chris Distefano]

No, no, no. You just. You thought. You just said that I had a white BMW. Who said it looked like I was the wife of a fire.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, he looks like a fireman's wife's car. And the way he would park, I was like, this is like the wife of a fireman. Yeah. Like somebody's like, Colleen. It's Colleen. It's wrong with you, Eddie. Eddie's probably at the firehouse. Let Colleen put me into Yani.

[Chris Distefano]

You go around.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's also the thing, too. You get in, even if you're not fully in. Just get in enough to. The traffic can pass.

[Yannis Pappas]

Right.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then you can take another shot. But you gotta.

[Chris Distefano]

Sometimes I've left it like that.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Sometimes I've been like, I don't know if I could make this last cut. And I just leave it with the wheel out.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Like. Yeah, I just do it.

[Yannis Pappas]

You know what? You know what I do? You know what I hate? Hate. And even though I have, you know, I'm good at, but I hate when, like an old timer guy, you'll be parallel parking a tight spot and they stop and start looking at you. Start looking at the car and watching you. I'm like, come on, dude. Audience.

[H. Foley]

I do get to watch this.

[Yannis Pappas]

Get these tickets on StubHub.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, you know, sometimes I've done. I got to admit, sometimes I've seen a spot that's so tight, I've stopped to see if the guy will do it.

[Yannis Pappas]

The guy could do it. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, dude.

[Kevin Ryan]

I watched a bus going down Bedford Avenue in Brooklyn. It was so tight. It was so tight. And there was. There was an ambulance double parked or something.

[Yannis Pappas]

Something.

[Kevin Ryan]

And he inched, inched, inch. He pulled. He reads out. He's pulling them both mirrors in, I believe. Inching in. Bus full of people, inch and inch and inching. Gets through the whole block, as was watching. And everybody just Went clapping.

[Yannis Pappas]

I know it's the most New York. You know what's another thing I know, too? I know when someone's trying to. If I'm looking for a spot and someone else gets the spot, I'll know off the first cut of the wheel if they're gonna get it. And then even furthermore, I know that they're not gonna try again. So sometimes I'm hoping this guy's gonna get it, but sometimes I could tell off how bad that first cut was. They have, I mean, a 5% or less chance of attempting again. And then I swoop in, I ride it out.

[Kevin Ryan]

I call it. I call it applying pressure. If I see them waiting to get into a spot and I know it's tight, and I don't think they got the ch. If I think it's a Yanni in front of me, yeah, I'll pull up and wait behind. I'll go right. Let's see, you got eyes on you. Apply some. Put the heat in the kitchen on.

[H. Foley]

You know, he got the curlers in his hand.

[Kevin Ryan]

Come around.

[Chris Distefano]

When my wife first moved to the. We lived together. Brooklyn. She's from Long Island. I don't think she.

[Kevin Ryan]

Guys live in that apartment where the studio is.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. I don't think she ever parallel parks in her life. So I would actually have to get out of the passenger seat for a while. And she just couldn't do it. Yeah, she just couldn't. I mean, a lot of people who live in the burbs, they just can't.

[Kevin Ryan]

They just never. I mean, the one thing that we. We talk about now is like, I have a spot now because my car got stolen. So I'll do a spot. I have like, a garage. Garage. But before I would have to, me and my wife would get back from the. Wherever we were, and then I'd start looking for parking. And, like, I just have memorized the spots. And the best way to go around my neighborhood to look for the spots. And she'd be like, we'd be pulling up on. It's like, clearly a fire hydrant. It's been a fire hydrant the six years we've been living there. And she's like, oh, right here, right here. And I'm like, lady, you got to get out of the car. This is a man's job. I can't do this with you. You're calling out bad spots.

[Yannis Pappas]

I love that your car got stolen by probably one of the fans of the show.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to Kia boys. Taken from the Kia boys.

[H. Foley]

Got Me?

[Kevin Ryan]

You know the Kia boy? Yeah. No, no, no. They'd be right up your alley. A bunch of young. There's a defect in Kias and Hyundai's that they can just start it with. With an iPhone or. And a USB cable. And so that's what they do. And they just steal them and they're the keyboard. They just steal them and they just. There's this. We found the kids. I got in the back of the cop car. We drove to the. They were like, oh, it might be.

[Yannis Pappas]

Because you were tracking it. Like you could track your car.

[Kevin Ryan]

They tracked it because they drive by and take pictures of all the parked. So I gave my license plate. They're like, oh, this is under the gwb. So the cop was like, hop in. So I just got in the back. We drove and there was four kids. They were like, smoking, like, you know, K2.

[Yannis Pappas]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're all just in there, all fucked up. There were 13 to 16.

[Yannis Pappas]

So you got your car back then.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Which is nuts. They just gonna even break it.

[Yannis Pappas]

They didn't do anything to.

[Kevin Ryan]

They smashed the windows. They're just in there just. Just fucking around.

[Yannis Pappas]

Did they get arrested? The cops arrest them?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Two kids got out the back. They got two. And they were like, they'll be out. Out today. They're like. They're miners. They'll be. These aren't enforceable charges. They'll. They'll be out today.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's what it is.

[Kevin Ryan]

But they just go, that's your car?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

On the side of the road, windows smashed, everything go. We check it for guns. If there's no guns, it's yours.

[Yannis Pappas]

Just so you have to just drive it home with the windows.

[Kevin Ryan]

I had to jump my car with a screwdriver and drive it and then go find parking.

[Yannis Pappas]

And you didn't miss your spot. You still showed up at New York Comedy club for your AP. I did.

[Kevin Ryan]

To make my $40.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yes.

[H. Foley]

On that note, if you see some activity in the city, somebody's getting mugged or something like that. Are you stepping in? You making a move?

[Chris Distefano]

He will. I will.

[Yannis Pappas]

I will. We almost did it in Bay Ridge. Remember? We saw that guy screaming at his girlfriend. We got. We all. The whole neighborhood started to descend on this kid. But then she. The girl told us to get away.

[Kevin Ryan]

I had that happen as well.

[Yannis Pappas]

The girl was like, do not. I don't want you guys here.

[Kevin Ryan]

I had that happen. The Mummers parade, a very famed trashy thing in Philadelphia. Guy just. We're in the streets, everybody's partying. Streets, Dexa. Well, Dexa, girl, girl would turn around, she's on the ground, cry. We run over, rip him up, throw him up against the wall. There's like five of us, like, you know, and she's grabbed. She starts ripping us off. I deserved it. I deserve it. I go, I. We came. We're not fixing this.

[Chris Distefano]

Wow. That was a similar situation to the one Bay Rich.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

She started telling everybody to off. Even though this guy was like pushing.

[Yannis Pappas]

Her and screaming like.

[Kevin Ryan]

So that's when they turn on you. Then it's them two versus you. You're like, right. I can't help that scratch.

[Chris Distefano]

You're gonna be starting your own idea ID channel documentary in a couple years. That's your business. It's your.

[Yannis Pappas]

Was the only fans, honey.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I'll see you on A and.

[Yannis Pappas]

E. Yeah, it's bad, but that's how. That's how crazy the abuse can get.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, no, it's. Yeah, of course it's nuts. But like, that's what cops say. They're like, the worst ones are the domestic disputes. They, they. They both turn on you.

[Yannis Pappas]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Late night diner order from. From both of you go to the diner. Late night.

[Chris Distefano]

Big part of my life. It's a big part of being a New Yorker.

[Kevin Ryan]

We just did it the other night.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's great for me. I'm gonna go mushroom cheeseburger. Saute Mushroom cheeseburger. Saute it. Ready for this? Sauteed mushroom cheeseburger with disco fries.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out, disco fries.

[Yannis Pappas]

Disco fries. And then probably if I'm really, you know, I'll get, you know, depending on the yuca app. Well, now with the yucca app, I probably won't get a diet coke. I'll probably go seltzer with a lime. Then I'll also get a diner cheesecake. I love a diner cheesecake. I'll get that. That's usually the big time order.

[H. Foley]

Mushroom and cheese.

[Yannis Pappas]

Sauteed mushroom cheesebur, baby.

[H. Foley]

Whoa.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. Sauteed mushrooms. Love it.

[H. Foley]

Is that only a late night move or will you get that a lot?

[Yannis Pappas]

That's typically what I'll get. Or I'll get a tuna melt or I'll get a patty melt. I like melts.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what I do. Patty melt. Really Melt Patty melt. Patty melt deluxe. That's a diner deluxe means fries. And then give me mayo on the side. And then I drench. I drench the patty melt and mayo. And I.

[Kevin Ryan]

You have a. You have a famous offend me with the mayo. Yeah, he goes to the subway guy.

[Yannis Pappas]

Offend me with the mayo.

[Chris Distefano]

That's how I tell him. That's how I let him know you.

[Yannis Pappas]

Won'T put ketchup on a burger.

[Chris Distefano]

I do both, right? Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh. This one's not New Yorker, but I just did this the other day, and I didn't feel great about it. Oh, this is back to parking. Have you ever saved the spot? Like, say you're. There's a spot out front of the house, and your wife's like, I'll be there in two minutes. Will you stand there and go, tell me now my buddy's coming around the block.

[Chris Distefano]

No, no, no. I had a cone in my trunk that I would put. That was a good trick.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're a firefighter's wife. You're allowed to do whatever you want.

[Chris Distefano]

Exactly. Look, parking in Brooklyn at night is so hard. So I had a little fucking cone.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Put the cone in there when you left. When I left and hope that it would be there. Yeah, occasionally it would, but usually no. And then I just lost the cone. Somebody just took the cone. Because probably. Someone said, this is probably a good idea because they looked around, they saw no other signs, and they're like, some guy's trying to fucking. No spot.

[Yannis Pappas]

I won't do it. For me, it's the same principle. That's the same reason why I don't like the speeding cameras. Because you got to catch me.

[Kevin Ryan]

I have a big thing, you guys. America, you got to catch me.

[Yannis Pappas]

Just like you got to catch the spot.

[H. Foley]

Not.

[Yannis Pappas]

You can't have hold and helpers. Then. Then you know what? Then I'll sit out there all day and nobody.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what, dude, that's such a dirt. No one gets to bonk.

[Chris Distefano]

He's so right.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. You gotta capture.

[Chris Distefano]

You're cheating with cameras.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's.

[Chris Distefano]

It's no fun in that. Dude, you gotta catch me.

[Yannis Pappas]

Dude, It's. Dude, the whole thing's got pussified. You gotta. I want you to.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then you can still go. You can go. If even if they catch it. Go. To pull you over, you go. It's my right to press the gas.

[Yannis Pappas]

The other day.

[Kevin Ryan]

Of O.J. simpson.

[Yannis Pappas]

The other day. The other day. Yeah. The other day. I was parked illegally. Traffic cop was coming around, and he. And. And I walked. I. He. We got there at the same time. I said, did you clip me? He said, I just scanned you. I said, hey, it's what it is. I did the. I. I did the crime. I'll do the time. And then he.

[H. Foley]

And then he was like, put your hands out.

[Yannis Pappas]

He was like, he was like, I'm.

[Kevin Ryan]

Talk to my lawyer.

[Yannis Pappas]

He said to me, he's like, there's nothing I can do. I'm sorry to insist. I said, give me the ticket. $55. Give me the ticket. I, I, I have no problem with it. If I got caught.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, if.

[Yannis Pappas]

As long as you caught me. I did. I'm parked here illegally. It's no problem.

[Kevin Ryan]

That sometimes throws him. I got, I got pulled over one time and I was cooking, doing like 80 and a 55. It had to drop down. I didn't know. And he goes, you know why I pulled you over? I'm like, yeah, it's fucking flying, man. I didn't, I didn't see it go down. He goes, yeah. I was like, yeah, yeah. I was like, I'll take, Just give me the ticket. Like, there's no, it's like, no, you're not, I'm not gonna, you're not gonna tap dance and try to fight. I was like, yeah, man. I'm.

[H. Foley]

Cameras at the base of the Queensborough Bridge. Give me a break.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's bad.

[H. Foley]

Get me with a radar gun. Pull up behind me.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, that's what I used to call. Whenever I raw dog the girl, I'd go, I did the crime. I do the time. 2 to 22 days.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wait to see if any.

[Chris Distefano]

Wait to see anything happens.

[Yannis Pappas]

Symptoms, pregnancy. That's what's going to pop up.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what I used to call doing a bid.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Doing purgatory.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. 22 days. 22 days of worry.

[Kevin Ryan]

And you go, you get out and you go, whoo, man. Never doing that again. Then you do it again.

[Yannis Pappas]

What the. I tell one of the greatest repeat offenders of all time, and our good friend Joe Derosa, I mean, Joe Derosa was living in prison in the summer of 2021.

[Chris Distefano]

He does bids like. Crazy kid doesn't know what life on the outside looks like.

[Yannis Pappas]

He doesn't even give a fuck. Dude, he'll go trans. It doesn't matter.

[Chris Distefano]

He does bids.

[H. Foley]

We asked Yanni this in a roundabout way. We got to it when he was here last, but. Chrissy D. Backseat of a cab. Action. No action like sex. What you're making.

[Kevin Ryan]

If you're. You're leaving the bar with a lady, you're going back to your house. Obviously, I used to, I used to.

[Yannis Pappas]

Not probably now. Not in an Uber. Uber, because they have more of my information. But, but, but, but a taxi cab. Yeah, I've, I've gotten, I've Gotten. I've gotten blowies back there. I fingered back there. I've gotten a couple blows and a couple of fingers. And one time I was getting a blow and I saw the cabbie looking in the rear view mirror. I said, this guy probably just got to this country. Let him take a peek.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is American hog right here, bro. That's called circumcise.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

How proud he was. Blowies in the.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Blows in the back. Because the cat cab, you know, it's got the divider.

[Kevin Ryan]

It felt like another world. We've said, that guy's in his own apartment. You know what I mean?

[Chris Distefano]

I got a blowy from my ex when we were in college. Who's my blowy from high school. And I got a blow in the back and it was great.

[Kevin Ryan]

Pretty cool.

[Chris Distefano]

It's like an American holiday in my life.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's a blow in the back. Is. It is an American. It's like a. It's like a Fourth of July hot dog. Because you're not going down on a girl in the back. That's. You don't do that. But a Blowing the back. Very easy. Just suck my stick.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Suck my stick. You heard it here first, ladies and gentlemen. Merch.

[Yannis Pappas]

The new merch coming. Are you garbage? Suck my stick. Get him.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got one. That's not. I just happened to this. I didn't feel right doing it. We were. I was on a plane. Players getting ready to take over. They were still. They're still loading in. I'm sitting there. Is it rude? Bounces off everybody in the room. Is it rude to take a phone call then while you. While you're, like, sitting there waiting. You're not waiting to take off like it's boarding.

[H. Foley]

I mean, are we talking about, hey, what's going on?

[Kevin Ryan]

Or is it a little bit. Kali T called me. We were. You know, Hammond.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's when I FaceTime my family. Right before I take off. I'm on FaceTime with that.

[Kevin Ryan]

You are half Puerto Rican.

[Chris Distefano]

I think it is a little rude. It's a little rude if you don't have earbuds in. If you got earbuds in.

[H. Foley]

Wait, you're doing it on the speaker. No, you put it in your ear.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know, but it is. It's. I was sitting next to somebody who wasn't you and. Yeah. Just it. Who would you. You have to watch your. Yeah. I don't know. It's just. It's a more quieter time.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

More solemn time.

[Yannis Pappas]

Right. I do. I'll do. For me. I say no, I FaceTime with the fam. That's what I do.

[H. Foley]

I respect that.

[Yannis Pappas]

I do that. But with earphones. Always with earphones.

[H. Foley]

You got it. You got it.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then when you land, you face them again so they can clap. Because the plane landed.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. I mean, planes that, you know, thank God that you don't see that too much anymore with the. With the people clapping.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, I think it's back.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's. I was just gonna bring it up. We. I. I flew from Florida, Fort Lauderdale yesterday, and we had a relatively rough landing, but I've been on those before. But, like, the plane slammed down, and this is the second flight that I've been on where the pilot. The. While we're landing, is talking to the. To the passengers saying, everything's gonna be okay. I understand that it's a little rocky. We might have a harsh landing. So I'm like, oh, wow. This is because of these recent. Because it's like it's two in the last two weeks. The pilot, as we're landing, is talking the entire time and. And my flight going out to Fort Lauderdale. Our pilot was a woman and a guy got. Got off the plane.

[H. Foley]

I swear to God.

[Yannis Pappas]

He walked off and he sighed and he said. He said, oh, I'm. I'm actually gonna get off the plane. The lady was like, would you like to see me? I'm just not gonna.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, let me tell you, I. That for me, that's like hearing a German train conductor. I'm off. I'm getting off. Yeah, yeah, I'm off.

[Yannis Pappas]

I shouldn't.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm sorry. I just. I want my guy with a white beard and a drinking problem.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, that's what I want.

[Chris Distefano]

Flying my plane. Did you see the one at O'Hara Airport that just happened? No, I mean, dude, they're happening, like, what, today? It was like yesterday. So. So I don't know what's going on. Plane comes in to land. You saw it?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Fucking jet coming across. He has to come right back up or it would. They would have just slammed right into.

[Yannis Pappas]

It and killed everybody.

[Chris Distefano]

Everybody.

[H. Foley]

Dude, those scare me. That's never happened yet. But if I ever get into that land and take off, I'll probably have a heart attack.

[Yannis Pappas]

Land and take off is not fun. That's not fun.

[Chris Distefano]

I did that once and it was.

[Yannis Pappas]

I've been on. I've been on that once. It's horrible. It's horrible. But. But that. Then I've actually. I'm sorry. It happened twice. Once, the pilot talked to us the whole way which is great. The second time, nobody said anything. So that was very, very nerve wracking because you're like, did we get hijacked? Yeah, that's what you're thinking, dude.

[Chris Distefano]

It's kind of scary because our whole career is just getting in planes. And the more planes we get in, the more chances we're giving ourselves to.

[H. Foley]

It's Delta, too, which is Delta.

[Yannis Pappas]

What do you think? You got a higher chance of dying in a plane or with Bert Kreischer?

[Kevin Ryan]

The buses. We've done buses. Are you. You really give a lot of that power to the driver?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Middle of the night, he's driving through the Smoky Mountains or something.

[H. Foley]

I'm okay with it. I got the CPAP on. I'm sleeping, good to go. I won't even know.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah, Planes are definitely scary now. But they say when you look into them that there were more incidents last year. The media is just going to them. I'm like, well, actually, yes, but it's also. A plane fucking crashed in Washington D.C. so that didn't happen last year.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. Plane crashed in Philly.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

So you can't. You can't take a nap on a plane, huh?

[H. Foley]

I can, but it sucks.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I wake up a little groggy, a little swollen little grog If I got a couple of Bloody Marys in me. Yeah, it's bad.

[Chris Distefano]

Is it noisy when he sleeps on a plane?

[Kevin Ryan]

Nah, he's out. I prefer him to sleep because he's. He's noisier awake then. Especially gets a couple. If he's got a couple in him and I don't have a couple in me. He is a tough hay.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I squirt him a little bit.

[Kevin Ryan]

We gotta wrap it up, though, gang.

[H. Foley]

Boys, this was an absolute treat.

[Kevin Ryan]

Long time in the making.

[H. Foley]

Two of the absolute funniest. Two of the absolute best in the business. The history hyenas. Fellas, we love you. Congratulations on the special.

[Yannis Pappas]

Thank you so much, Hulu. It's just unfortunate. Go to Christy, comedy.com and then Madison Square Garden, September 11th. Hey, all I'm gonna say is just come to that building. I'm not sure where the show's actually gonna be. It's. I know it's gonna be in that building.

[Chris Distefano]

It will be on that address.

[Yannis Pappas]

Could be upstairs or downstairs. Depends if the tickets start to cook a little bit.

[H. Foley]

Yanni, what do you got for them?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, catch me on the road. When's this coming out?

[Kevin Ryan]

Next week.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, well, you just missed me in Philly, damn it. Which is a large fan base of yours. God damn it.

[Yannis Pappas]

I need the help.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's why we.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's why we call him Yanni. Almost Yanni.

[Chris Distefano]

Always almost.

[Kevin Ryan]

Cuz his eyes are almost touching.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes, exactly. Cleveland and San Diego and Rochester and Springfield, Missouri. And history hyenas is back.com for all your information. Check that out. And it's good to finally be on here with you boys.

[H. Foley]

We love you so much, and thank you for everything. We love you guys. Kippy.

[Chris Distefano]

Love you guys.

[Kevin Ryan]

Guys, we're on the road as well. Get your tickets every the Back on the block [e-mail]. we'll see you out there. And also check out the Route 66 special on the YouTube page. We love you. Thank you.

[H. Foley]

We love you, gang. We'll see you next week.

[Chris Distefano]

Peace.