Summary of "History Hyenas!" Episode of Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Release Date: March 6, 2025
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Guests: Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas (History Hyenas)

1. Welcome and Introduction

The episode begins with hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley expressing gratitude for their audience's support and introducing the special guests, Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas, collectively known as the History Hyenas. The hosts maintain their signature humor, setting the tone for a lively and entertaining discussion.

H. Foley [00:20]: "Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?... Let's put them to the test to determine if they are in fact 'GARBAGE' as well."

2. Real Estate Woes and Garage Dilemmas

A significant portion of the conversation revolves around real estate challenges, particularly focusing on the complexities of garage ownership. Yannis shares his frustrations with detached garages and his preference for attached ones to accommodate his gym equipment.

Yannis Pappas [04:10]: "I'm not looking for houses with detached garages. I need the garage attached to the house because that's where I put the gym."

The hosts and guests delve into the intricacies of the current real estate market, discussing mortgage rates, renovation expenses, and the emotional toll of buying and selling homes.

Yannis Pappas [05:17]: "I completely renovated the entire kitchen and bathrooms. And then you sold it a month later."

3. The Yuka App and Food Critiques

The discussion shifts to the Yuka app, a tool designed to scan and evaluate the healthiness of various food items. The group humorously critiques processed foods, debating the app's efficacy and the absurdity of some of its ratings.

Yannis Pappas [07:04]: "Jesus Christ. Danish butter cookies. 24 out of 100, folks."

The conversation highlights the challenge of making healthy food choices in a comedic light, emphasizing the sometimes arbitrary nature of food ratings.

Yannis Pappas [07:04]: "Additives. It's got additives. It's got saturated fat, it's got calories, it's got sugar."

4. Personal Lives and Wedding Plans

Yannis opens up about his personal life, particularly his recent marriage and the dynamics of blending families post-divorce. The hosts and guests share humorous anecdotes about wedding planning, family interactions, and the compromises involved in merging households.

Yannis Pappas [15:06]: "I proposed her. I got the ring at Six Flags."

The conversation touches on the financial decisions surrounding weddings versus investing in real estate, showcasing the humor in balancing personal commitments with practical necessities.

Yannis Pappas [16:00]: "She asked me to go knock on the people's door of the house we sold to and asked to buy back."

5. Parallel Parking and New York Etiquette

A standout segment features Yannis demonstrating his exceptional parallel parking skills, attributing his prowess to growing up in Ridgewood, Queens. The group marvels at his ability to navigate tight spots, blending admiration with playful teasing.

Yannis Pappas [60:34]: "I know exactly how many to the center me or what I have before I'll hit the car behind me or in front of me."

Chris Distefano [58:55]: "He's the best parallel parker I've ever seen."

This segment underscores the unique challenges and skills associated with driving in New York City, all delivered with the podcast's trademark humor.

6. Airport Adventures and Travel Stories

The hosts and guests share entertaining stories from their experiences navigating airports, dealing with turbulent landings, and interacting with flight attendants. These anecdotes highlight the unpredictable nature of air travel and the camaraderie among New Yorkers.

Yannis Pappas [73:02]: "I FaceTimed my family right before I took off. I'm on FaceTime with them."

Chris Distefano [71:07]: "Blows in the back. It's like an American holiday in my life."

7. Diner Orders and Pizza Preferences

A lively discussion ensues about ordering at diners and pizza joints, particularly focusing on New York-style pizzas. The group debates the best ways to order a slice, favorite toppings, and humorous mishaps related to food preferences.

Yannis Pappas [67:43]: "Sauteed mushroom cheeseburger with disco fries."

Chris Distefano [67:55]: "Patty melt deluxe... I drench the patty melt in mayo."

These exchanges highlight the cultural significance of food in New York City and the playful rivalry over pizza etiquette.

8. Community Interactions and Neighborhood Etiquette

The conversation veers into the nuances of living in tight-knit communities, discussing everything from leaving bicycles outside apartment doors to dealing with noisy neighbors. Yannis and Chris share their strategies for maintaining peace and order in crowded living spaces.

Yannis Pappas [58:20]: "Big problem. I didn't care. But the super would get angry... Leave your bicycle out."

Chris Distefano [64:15]: "Shout out to Kia boys. Taken from the Kia boys."

These stories emphasize the challenges and humorous aspects of urban living, reinforcing the podcast's theme of navigating life's "garbage" moments.

9. Conclusion and Upcoming Events

As the episode winds down, the hosts express their appreciation for the guests and encourage listeners to support their ongoing projects. They announce upcoming tours and special events, maintaining the podcast's engaging and community-driven spirit.

Yannis Pappas [76:27]: "Go to Christy comedy.com and then Madison Square Garden, September 11th."

Kevin Ryan [77:36]: "Get your tickets on the Back on the Block tour@rugarbage.com. We'll see you out there."

Notable Quotes

• Yannis Pappas [05:17]: "I've looked... I'm just listening. Anyone on Zillow?"

• Chris Distefano [07:04]: "Stop it. You're making fully hungry."

• Yannis Pappas [16:00]: "I have to push some buttons. I'm addicted to losing and getting it back."

• Chris Distefano [60:34]: "He's working the angle, bro."

• Yannis Pappas [73:02]: "I FaceTimed my family right before I took off."

Final Thoughts

This episode of Are You Garbage? masterfully blends personal stories, real estate struggles, food critiques, and quintessential New York humor. Hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley, alongside guests Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas, deliver an engaging and laughter-filled session that resonates with both city dwellers and comedy enthusiasts alike.

Note: Advertisements, sponsor mentions, intros, and outros have been omitted to focus solely on the episode's core content.