Hostile Takeover! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Summary

Are You Garbage? “Hostile Takeover!” w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Release Date: January 1, 2026
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Special Guest: Luke Dempsey

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Overview

In this “Hostile Takeover” episode, the regular “Are You Garbage?” hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley, flip the script with a bit-heavy, high-energy “corporate” takeover storyline. The show riffs on the idea that the podcast has been bought out by a private equity group (the Dempsey Group), resulting in mock job reassignments, new bosses, vests, and heated “boardroom” tension—with cameos from Luke Dempsey. The episode weaves the corporate bit throughout as the comedians shift between satirical workplace banter and classic AYG-style “garbage” life questions from fans.

H. Foley and Kevin’s infectious chemistry is on full display, with quick-fire exchanges, good-natured ribbing, and boisterous pushback on “corporate” changes—creating a meta-commentary on selling out versus keeping it “garbage” and blue-collar.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. “Hostile Takeover” Corporate Comedy Bit

• Foley announces that Are You Garbage? has been “acquired” in a faux hostile takeover by the Dempsey Group, with everyone donning branded vests and playing with job titles.
• H. Foley narrates as the newly minted “CEO,” demoting Kevin to “junior VP on the Toddy account,” Kevin is now “just Kevin. Kevin from accounting.” (00:53)
  • Foley: “I’m the CEO… You’re back out there, hitting the pavement... door-to-door podcasting.” (03:46)
  • Kevin: “I did not like this. This is all news to me.” (01:29)
• Corporate lingo, finance bros, and references to Wall Street, vests, and private equity abound. Kevin teases about “door-to-door podcasting” and embracing “Main Street not Wall Street.” (04:14)
• Running gag of Foley negotiating with Dempsey Group, selling out for a Cheesecake Factory sundae, and fears of losing control/access (“They got me leveraged… it was all stock, not a dollar changed hands”). (05:53)
• Memorable banter about the new “corporate” regime:
  • Kevin: “What did you get out of this deal?... These guys are bloodsuckers.” (06:00)
  • Foley: “He bought me a sundae. Brought out the paperwork.” (07:07)

2. Satire of Sell-Out Culture vs. Blue Collar Roots

• Kevin fiercely resists the corporate change—“No, we did not [need corporate money]… We run a very nice business.” (09:43)
• Jokes about “diluted shares,” “undiluted shares,” and fears that “the rich get richer.”
  • Kevin: “Now my shares are diluted. I’m out. Regular Mark Cuban—Cuban sandwich, you are.” (10:14)
• References to security ("Blackwater contractors are outside—Russ and Tony, ex-SEALs") and private equity nefariousness. (09:46)
• The cast mocks practices like half-day Fridays, company golf outings, and the corporate perks & quirks now permeating their “trashy” podcast.
  • Foley: “50 hours a week. I’m sorry, what?”
  • Kevin: “We’re working four tens.”

3. Fan Questions—Classic “Garbage” Content

• Pivot back to the familiar: answering fan-submitted “Are My Habits Garbage?” questions about family money blaster booths, school drop-off in tinted cars, handling household trash, and “Pro Moves.”
  • Cash Grab Booth:
    • Is it garbage if your dad owns a cash-blower booth for family parties?
    • Kevin: “That’s sick. Especially for kids. That’s a good time… If you walk away with a couple bucks as a 10-year-old, it’s a good friggin time.” (29:37)
  • Tinted Windows Drop-Off:
    • Is it garbage to get dropped off at school in a car with tinted windows?
    • Kevin: “That’s a tough look. I remember piling out of a Mustang thinking I was Vanilla Ice. You couldn’t tell me shit.” (32:24)
  • Garbage Cans & Trash Discipline:
    • Extensive riffing about leaving trash in cold garages, breaking “trash can etiquette,” and negotiating neighborhood trash can rules.
    • Kevin: “It’s refrigerated trash—it’s aside from the house… it’s in a can, locked in the cold.”
    • Hypotheticals on using commercial junk haulers like 1-800-GOT-JUNK, going to the dump, and splitting copper profits: “There’s no better service.” (50:25)
  • Pro Move:
    • Is it “trash” to clear a check engine light before selling a car?
    • Kevin: “That’s the move… let them figure it out.” (59:35)

4. Memorable Quotes & Comic Highlights

“Corporate” Antics

• Foley (on corporate perks): “We got new corporate cards, half-day Fridays… We got to start playing golf.” (07:33)
• Kevin: “I have a strict no-Fridays policy. That’s for the gumars.” (07:44)

On “Betrayal” and Picking Sides

• Kevin (to Foley): “Bit of a rat, corporate shill, narcissist, fucking backstabber. That’s what you are to me.” (33:48)
• Foley (on getting “taken”): “They bought me a sundae…brought out the paperwork.” (07:07)
• Luke Dempsey (joining the bit): “Wait for the shareholder meeting. We’re gonna take you to Vail.” (32:31)

On “Going Pirate”/Fighting Back

• Kevin: "I have to push back. I'm not doing that. We're going pirate. We're gonna lock up the studio. Gonna send Luke on a long walk." (20:01)
• Reinstating the classic “Army of Garbage”:
  • Kevin: “We ride together, we die together. Kippy's Heating and Cooling for life.” (20:49)

On Life’s “Garbage” Details

• On fan’s cash booth dad:
  • Foley: “Why would he have that?”
  • Kevin: “See what I mean? That’s sick. You get 20 seconds in the dollar booth, man, it sucks. Put one or two hundreds in there, that was always the big thing.” (28:24)
• On ice cream in the morning:
  • Kevin: “As an adult, it’s gotta be some sort of vacation—and noon. The fact that your number was 9:30 seems very early, very early.” (68:29)
  • Foley: “Not before 9:30am. Okay, but I have.” (68:02)

5. Other Notable Segments

• Mock Undercover Boss Pitch:
  • Foley suggests doing an Undercover Boss, with Kevin pretending to be a new editor coming in from Germany. (24:21)
• Fan Question: When’s it “Acceptable” for Adults to Eat Ice Cream?
  • The hosts hash out scenarios, rules, and personal habits—landing on vacation as the only context for early morning ice cream. (64:33–68:46)
• Copper Scrap Profiteering/Early Jobs:
  • Extended “dirtbag” stories about summer copper scrapping, making cash, and growing up family business trashy. (53:46–57:41)
  • Kevin: “We were big on dump. Big on scrapyards too. Calling different scrapyards, seeing what copper’s going for...” (53:32)
• Nostalgia/Comedy Callback:
  • References to The Sopranos, 30 Rock, Def Jam poetry, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and old family cars.
  • Running gags about eating too many hot dogs and red Gatorade in the summer, and the perils of “artificial flavors.” (58:04)

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Highlighted Memorable Moments

• Foley's Sellout for Cheesecake Factory:
  • "He took me to a beautiful corporate steakhouse, Cheesecake Factory ... Bought me a sundae. Brought out the paperwork." (06:45–07:08)
• Kevin rallies the “Army of Garbage”:
  • “We're back, baby. Army of garbage. Take that, Luke... We ride together, we die together." (20:37–20:49)
• On the check engine light hustle:
  • "Is it trash to stop by the auto parts store to clear the check engine light on the way to trade in your car?"
  • Kevin: "That's the move. Let them figure it out." (59:35)
• Trash Can Etiquette Debate:
  • Argument over taking out a half-empty outside trash can or waiting until it’s full.
  • Foley: “You don’t need to… unless the trash can is full.”
  • Kevin: “I disagree with that 100 percent.” (47:46)
• Corporate Satire Peak:
  • Kevin: "You're pissed. You steal my company out from under me, you rat bastard." (48:37)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Hostile Takeover Bit Begins: 00:53–05:53
• Corporate Satire, Perks & Pushback: 06:00–12:00
• Vests & “Finance Bro” Jokes: 02:25–04:46
• Shares/Dilution/Takeover Language: 09:50–10:14
• Family Episode, Fan Questions Begin: 27:33–28:09
• Cash Blower Booth Discussion: 28:09–30:12
• School Drop-Off in Tinted Windows: 31:00–33:19
• Trash Night/Dump Rituals: 43:48–53:53
• Copper Scrapping Stories: 53:46–58:14
• Check Engine Light Pro Move: 59:35–59:50
• Ice Cream-for-Breakfast Debate: 64:33–69:03
• Closing/New Year Messages: 70:01–70:20

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Tone and Style

• The tone is fast, irreverent, and consistently playful, with a heavy dose of affectionate ball-busting.
• The “hostile takeover” serves as a running meta-gag, giving the entire episode the feel of a “special” or “anniversary” edition—but the underlying “garbage” heart (and questions) remains constant.
• Language is blue-collar, self-effacing, and classic AYG: plenty of swearing, self-deprecating humor, and real talk about dirtbag habits.

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For New Listeners

If you’re new to 'Are You Garbage?', this episode is an ideal snapshot: it spotlights the hosts’ unbeatable dynamic, their love of trashy Americana, and a parade of running gags and inside jokes—while keeping the central game of “What makes someone garbage?” alive and hilariously well. Even with the “corporate” takeover story, the answers to listeners’ trashy questions, and slice-of-life stories about cars, garbage, and blue-collar ingenuity stay front and center.

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Notable Quote:

• “I run this ship the AYG way, the small business owner way. We’re not doing your corporate dance.”
  — Kevin Ryan (22:55)

Memorable Moment:

• “We're back, baby. Army of garbage. Take that, Luke... We ride together, we die together.”
  — Kevin Ryan (20:49)

Classic “Garbage” Life-Advice Take:

• “That's the move. Let them figure it out.”—Kevin Ryan, on resetting a check engine light before trading in a car. (59:35)

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Conclusion

“Hostile Takeover!” is Are You Garbage? at its cleverest and most self-aware: mocking the perils of “selling out,” reaffirming loyalty to their listeners, and reveling in the everyday “trashy” details that make the show a cult favorite. Laugh-out-loud bits, real-life "garbage" wisdom, and an assurance to their fans—the boys aren’t changing (no matter how many vests they’re forced to wear).

Transcript

[H. Foley]

Hear ye, hear ye, all our friends to the north up there in Canada. The boys are crossing the border and we're coming over, baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. January 9th, we're going to be at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre in Toronto, Ontario. Limited tickets left. Get them while they last. Then we got Austin, Tampa, Chicago, Indiana, Nashville, Pittsburgh, and Cleveland. All tickets [e-mail], we'll See yous on the road.

[H. Foley]

See you, hosers. Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is are you garbage?

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[H. Foley]

It's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that at the group to be classy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Or if they're just a big old piece of trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

Trash, trash, trash.

[H. Foley]

I'm your host, HOH Coming at you on a beautiful day from the Dempsey Group headquarters here at Tooties. She's off to her swim class. Web feet she's got. Did you know that she moves through it like a seal? My underlink is coming at you from across the table. He was the CEO of are you garbage Now He's a junior vice president on the toddy account after the hostile takeover that happened over the break. Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

[Kevin Ryan]

What up, guys? This is all.

[H. Foley]

But you can refer to him as just Kevin. Kevin from accounting.

[Kevin Ryan]

I did not like this. This is all. This is all news to me. You got your fresh Dempsey gear group on. I warned you. I see they only went up to 4x. We'll have to. We're gonna have to talk to the big dog to see if there's any room in a wardrobe budget.

[H. Foley]

He's right over there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, listen, I don't know. Listen, I don't know my responsibilities anymore, but Shout out to the.

[H. Foley]

I'm gonna need the Instagram passcode.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't even have that.

[H. Foley]

What?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's.

[H. Foley]

I knew he wasn't gonna play along.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't have it.

[H. Foley]

I got two words for you. Silver parachute.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. That you want? No, I got another word. Operation Dumbo Drop gang. Shout out to the. Shout out. Thanks for tuning in as always. Please make sure you rate view subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available. I was gonna say Netflix. Not Netflix. We were not part of that deal. However, Dempsey group could have pulled that off.

[H. Foley]

Well, we had to wait to get you out and now we're making a Move.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. You guys are gonna be on.

[H. Foley]

Ladies and gentlemen, Ted Sarandos.

[Kevin Ryan]

You guys are gonna be on.

[H. Foley]

Tubi's making moves, by the way, but they're putting too many commercials in.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're getting greedy. I know.

[H. Foley]

Two is one and six.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what's happening here. You're getting too greedy. You fucking. You partner with the ops, that's what you do. Your best friend of 15 years, you drop this shit on me now?

[H. Foley]

By the way, you gotta start driving up to Connecticut to record the show.

[Kevin Ryan]

You gotta cut the grass, too.

[H. Foley]

Ryan. Please bring in what we have for our good friend here, Diesel. Oh, Diesel's got one, too. I got the whole team against you. You got to put it on.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Thank you, Ryan. Or should I say director of operations?

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Dempsey Group has officially taken over.

[Kevin Ryan]

Classic private equity. Comes in. Fucking made in Vietnam. This was an American podcast. Made in Vietnam. And the brand is Port Authority. This thing's falling apart in my hands. This is what you get. You see, you sold out. You sold out to the Far east.

[H. Foley]

And I don't like that Saudi money.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, right. All right. Oh, I'm not happy about this.

[H. Foley]

Yep.

[Kevin Ryan]

What size? It's a large, though. I am a little petite guy.

[H. Foley]

You're doing all right. You're going to need it. You're back out there hitting the pavement. You're out. I'm the CEO.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm doing door to door podcasting. I'm knocking on the door. Hey, everybody out there.

[H. Foley]

Unfortunately, you can't be using that.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's not bad.

[H. Foley]

It's nice, isn't it? You gotta.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, you got one, too, obviously.

[H. Foley]

Of course he's got one.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shit's whack. I hate this.

[H. Foley]

You gotta embrace Wall Street.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, we're Main street, baby. Main street, not Wall Street. Main Street. You let corporate greed take over. This is why you were never allowed.

[H. Foley]

According to the papers I just signed, we're wa.

[Kevin Ryan]

Might as well be written in blood.

[H. Foley]

Look it. You look great.

[Kevin Ryan]

Look really good.

[H. Foley]

Couple of things.

[Kevin Ryan]

Drive. Hit me.

[Luke Dempsey]

Company man.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm a finance bro now. I don't hate that. We all are. I used to be a podcast bro.

[H. Foley]

We got to go to Raul's. We got to start doing the Hamptons on the weekends. I'm going to go to Fire island.

[Kevin Ryan]

Pull carpool out there. I'm going to go do my own thing for the week.

[H. Foley]

I'll see you guys on Monday.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes, sir.

[H. Foley]

Papers were signed yesterday. I.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, you don't.

[H. Foley]

I'm gonna.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, this. This. This happened at a Lot of different levels. Who else did you tell about this, huh? What?

[H. Foley]

I talked to the money guys.

[Kevin Ryan]

Schultz. I don't think you. Timmy D. This goes deeper than I thought.

[H. Foley]

They all got a piece.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know you're not allowed to sign anything.

[H. Foley]

Yes, I am.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, you're not. We're gonna have you declared. This is gonna. This is gonna fold unfucked. We're gonna.

[H. Foley]

I heard you, Dec.

[Kevin Ryan]

Look at that hairline. Wouldn't that drive you crazy? That's what you're doing, Doc.

[H. Foley]

You tell me this guy's nuts, walking.

[Kevin Ryan]

Around with a haircut like that, huh? Fucking jerk off.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Yeah. So I'm gonna give you two choices, Ryan. You start playing ball.

[Kevin Ryan]

Start playing ball.

[H. Foley]

I'm the kippy now. I got some questions from the listeners.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh.

[H. Foley]

I'll need to borrow your computer and.

[Kevin Ryan]

A couple of dollars. They got me leveraged. It was all stock, not a dollar change.

[H. Foley]

Everybody's got access to that petty cash.

[Kevin Ryan]

What did you. What did you get out of this deal? This is. I want to know how ripped off you got. You think the Dempsey Group just sees your fat dumb ass and thinks, you know what? Let's give him a fair shake. These guys are blood suckers. I've been protecting you this whole time from the. From the harsh outdoor world.

[H. Foley]

I'll tell you how it all went down, okay? I was up at a cigar bar in Old Greenwich minding my own business.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay?

[H. Foley]

Okay. Who sits down beside me? Lou Sr. He says he's keeping you under, man. He's keeping you under. And I said, you know, a lot of comments about my weight. You know, doesn't think that I'm an artist. So he took me to a beautiful corporate steakhouse, Cheesecake Factory.

[Kevin Ryan]

I had the chicken bar, medium rare. And what temperature would you like on that? What? Oh, man, these guys are good. He got you sick as shit. Signed the papers over with E. Coli.

[H. Foley]

No tomato sauce, just buttered noodles, please.

[Kevin Ryan]

And if not, if I see a flake of green stuff in there, I'm going to lose it.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Bought me a sundae.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Brought out the paperwork.

[Kevin Ryan]

You don't even know what you signed.

[H. Foley]

He had some compromising photos of me at a Chick Fil a drive through.

[Kevin Ryan]

All jokes aside, how much did these vets cost us?

[H. Foley]

They're way too expensive, Michelle.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, I love a good bit. And we've spent a lot of dumb money on a lot of dumb stupid bits. Give me a ball, Pedies. Or what? These run us.

[H. Foley]

His dad's paying for him. Who gives a Shit, we all got new corporate cards and stuff. We're chilling, man. Yeah, they saw you coming half day Fridays. We got to start playing golf.

[Kevin Ryan]

You don't even work Fridays. You got his coming in. You got his. I have a straight. Listen, you've been around. I have a strict no Friday's policy. That's for the gumars. You know what I mean? Goomers now. We got to come in 9 to 12. We're doing half days like you. You turned us into corporate shrills.

[H. Foley]

50 hours a week. I'm sorry, what? 50 hours a week.

[Kevin Ryan]

Jesus. We're working four tens.

[H. Foley]

Little Kiparino is now his baby, by the way.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, God damn it. You screwed the pooch.

[H. Foley]

No, it's going to be good for us.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it's not. When is corporate takeover ever been good?

[H. Foley]

It is should.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'd rather. I'd rather taken that salty money if I knew this was going to happen.

[H. Foley]

Hey, we got a talk real quick about what's going on in the Hong Kong market. We got to do the news of the weather.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, okay. I mean, I get. Listen, all jokes aside, I now get why so many of these finance bros wear these vests. A vest is cool. Vest are cool. And they cover for, like, a chubbier guy.

[H. Foley]

Oh, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's like Kevlar.

[H. Foley]

Oh, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know, because, you know, you wear a hoodie or something like that. You hide your. You hide your. Your lumps. And this does it, but in, like, a rich guy way.

[H. Foley]

We have dinner with the boys from Lehman Brothers tonight at Quality Italian.

[Kevin Ryan]

Thought you were more of a seaman, brother. Also, this is embroidered. This ain't fucking screen printed, dude.

[H. Foley]

Embroideries. I spared no expense. This looks like of your money.

[Kevin Ryan]

This looks like four custom jobs, too. We didn't buy these in bulk. Or did we? I'd rather. I don't know.

[H. Foley]

I got 7,000 of these things sitting in the lounge.

[Kevin Ryan]

Damn. Dempsey spelled wrong.

[H. Foley]

No, it's not. I forgot to get one for your mom and dad.

[Luke Dempsey]

They would have loved that.

[H. Foley]

They would.

[Kevin Ryan]

They got enough cash. Fucking. These rat fucks come in and steal. I have a fucking small. Small. I'm a fucking American small business owner.

[H. Foley]

You got to change with the times, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nah, man. You. You screwed us.

[H. Foley]

You got to change with the times. All right? We needed corporate money.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, we did not.

[H. Foley]

We did.

[Kevin Ryan]

We've run a very nice business.

[H. Foley]

It also comes with a couple Blackwater contractors. They're outside. Russ and Tony.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Ex seals.

[Kevin Ryan]

You seem on your side.

[H. Foley]

Team nine.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're probably making sure we don't run.

[H. Foley]

Keep us in here.

[Kevin Ryan]

You said you were gonna have Mr. Dempsey's money. That's why we're working Friday. Come collect.

[H. Foley]

Well, you pushed it. Your shares have been diluted. Mine have gone up undiluted.

[Kevin Ryan]

So I'm. You've been undiluted.

[H. Foley]

No, I'm undiluted, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, I'm out. Regular Mark Cuban. Cuban sandwich you are.

[H. Foley]

Also, we're buying the Sixers. Karochi's out.

[Kevin Ryan]

I ever tell you I saw him in a Bentley on our way down to Atlantic City?

[H. Foley]

See, don't you want to be that guy?

[Kevin Ryan]

We just got to play ball. How did Pat Karochi make all his money?

[H. Foley]

It's medical. Gyms.

[Kevin Ryan]

Gyms?

[H. Foley]

Yeah, Croces. Plus he wrote that hit song, Operator.

[Kevin Ryan]

Jim Crow. Bad, bad Leroy Brown did.

[H. Foley]

Family. That's Pack Roche.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who?

[H. Foley]

My first acting teacher, George Palain. Rip was godfather to his son. Wow.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

He was best pals with Jim Croce. They both lived in an apartment building in, I think, Villanova. When Croce was working construction and he would hear him writing songs.

[Kevin Ryan]

He heard him.

[H. Foley]

Right. Operator.

[Kevin Ryan]

This snooze fest has been brought to you by the Dempsey Group. This is what happens when non comedians take over.

[H. Foley]

I'm obligated. Mr. Dempsey enjoys classic rock. We also have to go to the Sphere to see the Dead and Company.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'll fucking kill myself. I'll kill myself right where I. John.

[H. Foley]

Mayer's pretty good, huh? Yeah, he's all right. Shout out to John Mayer. Very talented.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is this what you're doing now? You're shouting out fucking John Mayer? What have you become?

[H. Foley]

I have to.

[Kevin Ryan]

What have you become?

[H. Foley]

I have to.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[H. Foley]

No. Oh, it's time for the Quiznos wrap up sports report, everybody.

[Kevin Ryan]

You guys like your subs? Hated. Run them through the oven.

[H. Foley]

You like rooting an Italian hoagie? Quiznos?

[Kevin Ryan]

Nah, they had a chicken carbonara that was. I know you hate it, my Porky. A tang that I've never tasted in my life. It got me in the bad mayonnaise. Got me back in my jowls.

[H. Foley]

Well, since we're here, we gotta take a stop by the corner office and say hello to the new CEO of. Are you garbage? The rich get richer. Nepotism is alive and well. Luke Dempsey, Mr. Dempsey.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes, it is, my friend.

[H. Foley]

What are you doing? He's fired.

[Kevin Ryan]

Boo if you think I'm not fucking burning this thing.

[H. Foley]

That's not a good idea. I got.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, I've been Deluded. It don't matter.

[H. Foley]

You see those guys at Conde Nash trying to put up a stink. Gotta play ball.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't care.

[Luke Dempsey]

Wait for the shareholder meeting.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm deluded.

[Luke Dempsey]

We're gonna take you to Veil.

[Kevin Ryan]

Your brain's a little deluded. That's what they do. They take you on one nice trip. They gave you a fucking cheesecake or something. And you saw it. You gave them the keys to the kingdom.

[H. Foley]

It was Dolce Leche.

[Kevin Ryan]

You should have said something.

[H. Foley]

I got half of it in the car for you.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's really just a quarter.

[H. Foley]

I took the front.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen. I was stuck in traffic.

[H. Foley]

Listen. You gotta get over it. Tuddy was down. She got. Whoa. She got a parachute that could choke a pig.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now where? Why do you think there is corporate money invested in this?

[H. Foley]

Because we're doing well.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes. Why not just do well on our own? Why let them?

[H. Foley]

It's a new year. It's a new day.

[Kevin Ryan]

No. No, no, no, no.

[H. Foley]

That's what it's all about.

[Kevin Ryan]

Man. Bro. It's not.

[H. Foley]

We gotta go corporate.

[Kevin Ryan]

They saw you. Coming from a. Why do you think they took you out the Cheesecake Factory? Not me?

[Luke Dempsey]

Huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

Exactly.

[H. Foley]

Because.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why do you think they cornered you?

[H. Foley]

Why you'd play a hardball? You're being stubborn. I see the future. They wanted to whack you.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[H. Foley]

I saved your life.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're like that little guy in 300 who's not allowed to be on the team. And then you fucking tell loud come in from behind and kill me. That's what you did. Yeah. Rat find out that guy's name.

[H. Foley]

Didn't they? Throw him off the bridge anyway?

[Kevin Ryan]

You're about to. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Who's throwing me off? I got the seals outside rough you up.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're nuts. They're gonna just make sure you tap dance.

[H. Foley]

I wish Hans walked in with a little one on. I should have got one for you.

[Kevin Ryan]

That'd be great.

[Luke Dempsey]

Papa made him sign a marinara.

[H. Foley]

Huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

These bad jokes are brought to you by the Dempsey Group.

[H. Foley]

That was good.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's good.

[Luke Dempsey]

Live track.

[H. Foley]

What are we doing Beth Page this weekend? Huh? Playing the links Now?

[Kevin Ryan]

You goth now too?

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Francis Ellis is our new golf advisor. Man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Something. You know. Well, listen. I'm not gonna go down without a fight.

[H. Foley]

And listen, it was either them or ge. I had to make a decision.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh. Ge.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

You never go private equity.

[H. Foley]

Fridges always break down. I'm a Samsung man.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're owned by Comcast.

[H. Foley]

Who is ge? No way.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

A cable company bought. Wait. That's a plot from fucking 30 Rock.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was based on reality. You both.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

So Jack Donaghy's real. I get him to be the CEO. Hello, this is Jack Donaghy.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's just a way.

[H. Foley]

I don't know what to tell you. It's 2026.

[Kevin Ryan]

They shove your Baldwin. That's also your Batman. And also your movie trailer guy.

[H. Foley]

Damn. This summer age Foley stars as Alec Bolden.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, I have to fight back a little bit for the little man. I'm a. I'm a fucking. How many small business owners we got out there?

[H. Foley]

Yeah, right. Two pieces of property. You got three cars. You got. One car just sits in your driveway and don't do nothing.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't have three cars.

[H. Foley]

Yes, you do.

[Kevin Ryan]

I own one property.

[H. Foley]

I seen that power wheels you got in the backyard.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't even.

[H. Foley]

How's that for?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't have a power wheels. If it was, it'd be for my son. Cuz they're like $200.

[H. Foley]

That's what I got them for Christmas.

[Kevin Ryan]

Every time my first power wheels was used.

[H. Foley]

You see, look at that. Born with a silver spoon in your mouth. You think I ever got a power wheels, huh? I had to hook a car battery up to a 10 speed to my nipples. I didn't want to, but after a couple of shocks, I liked it.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's why I'm so twisted.

[H. Foley]

That keeps happening. See, that's something that shouldn't happen here. Under the Dempsey Group.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes. Hey, listen, they stripped the budget. It's on a. Everything's being held up with duct tape now. And listen, I know what I'm doing. Have I steered you wrong?

[H. Foley]

Free lunches out. We got to pay for our own Chipotle.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've been paying for everybody's lunches this whole fucking time. I don't know. I don't know if you're aware. This fucking free scholarship.

[H. Foley]

I got a corner office. I got two weeks paid vacation down in Dewey Beach.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, more than that. You were the owner, Dewey. You should have said something.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, you're more of a. I gotta make out for me. I gotta think about Patty. What's gonna happen to her?

[Kevin Ryan]

She's old bag, okay?

[H. Foley]

That house just keeps.

[Kevin Ryan]

See, the Dempsey Group's policies just steamroll jokes.

[H. Foley]

But sure, that Zillow price keeps going down in the house, I gotta look out for her. She wants to move in someplace nice in her later years. She needs a knee replacement, you know? Yeah, she wants to take acting lessons and singing lessons and she wants to produce some Demos. So I got to do that for her. Help her out. So I had to make the deal, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay?

[H. Foley]

You put me my back up against the wall.

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't do anything.

[H. Foley]

Plus, you're mean to me. Let me join the Spartans.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that guy thought he was gonna get on the squad. Those guys are all good looking hot dudes.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you do? That's what they did to you.

[H. Foley]

Well, it's.

[Kevin Ryan]

They lied to you. They gave you. They gave you everybody. They gave you everything you could ever. You probably got a couple of. You probably got some gold rings, some nondescript coins from that weird looking something. Whatever that guy was. That guy was talking about the King Xerxes.

[H. Foley]

Oh, yeah? Yeah. What was that guy's deal?

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, oddly, why was he so tall? What do you mean? How the would I know that?

[H. Foley]

I don't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, it's also not based on reality. I don't know if you know that.

[H. Foley]

Well, you're fired.

[Kevin Ryan]

Boo. I wish we could turn the lights on, Kip.

[H. Foley]

Let's talk about Chime.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to Chime.

[H. Foley]

Chime is changing the way people bank. Feel free and smarter banking. Built for you. Not like old school banks to charge you overdraft and monthly fees. Built for you. Not the 1 percenters. The regular people that do the living and dying out there. All right. Chime isn't just another bank app. They unlock smarter banking for everybody. For everyday people. With the products like my pay giving you access to up to $500 of your check anytime. Getting paid for up to two days early. Look at that with direct deposit. Some old banks still don't do this.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're bozos.

[H. Foley]

They're jamming you up.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're behind at times. Do Chime bank free. Plus overdraft. Coverage you can count on can help build your credit history. Stress free. You get get paid when you say up to $500. Earn up to 3.5% APY on savings. That's eight times higher than traditional banks. Rated five stars by USA Today for customer service. Real humans 24. 7. We ain't talking robots. I ain't talking no AI. None of that stuff. Chime turns everyday spending into real rewards and progress. Forget overdraft fees, minimum balance fees and monthly fees. Chime is not just smarter banking. It's the most rewarding way to bank. Join the millions who are already banking fee free today. It just takes a few minutes to sign up. Head to chime.comgarbage. that's chime.comgarbage.

[Chime Advertiser]

Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services A secured Chime Visa credit card and MyPay line of credit provided by the Bancor Bank NA or Stride Bank NA. MyPay eligibility requirements apply and credit limit ranges $20 to $500. Optional services and products may have fees or charges. See chime.com feesinfo advertised annual percentage yield with Chime+ status only. Otherwise, 1.00% APY applies. No min balance required. Chime card on time payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score. Results may vary. See chime.com for details and applicable terms.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hi, it's Sam Reinhart from the Florida Panthers. Watch as we take on the New York Rangers in the 2026 Discover NHL Winter Classic in Miami. The NHL Winter Classic is coming to the Sunshine State ring in the new year with me in Miami. Catch all the action on January 2nd at 8:00pm Eastern on TNT and HBO Max. That's January 2nd at 8:00pm on TNT and HBO Max. For tickets and more info, visit NHL.com.

[H. Foley]

Winter Classic Someovers is commit movie.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, listen, you know, it's the show.

[H. Foley]

As usual, everything stays the same.

[Kevin Ryan]

I have to push back. It's not. Listen to the ay to the army of garbage out there. I'm going to fight for you, not these fucking big man trying to line his pockets with this corporate fucking blood money. I'm not doing that. I'll fucking. Ryan D. You know how to work cameras. We're going pirate. We're going to ride. Get a fucking master lock. We're going to lock up the fucking studio. Gonna send Luke on a fucking long walk.

[H. Foley]

Ryan, can you.

[Kevin Ryan]

I can buy rye. What are you nuts?

[H. Foley]

Ryan, can you come in here for a minute?

[Kevin Ryan]

He's wearing a Kippy's Heating and Cooling shirt.

[H. Foley]

You son of a bitch.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. We're back, baby. Army of garbage. Take that, Luke. Come on, Luke. Ryan, get over here.

[H. Foley]

Mr. Dempsey, I mean, he's.

[Luke Dempsey]

He's replaced. He's already gone.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, he's gonna replace.

[Kevin Ryan]

Get in on the camera. Get. Get. Look what he's wearing. He knows the boys. The boys roll together. We ride together, we die together. Kippy for the Kippies. He didn't call me for life.

[H. Foley]

Excited. A real company.

[Luke Dempsey]

Dempsey Group. Final cut.

[Kevin Ryan]

No. No, you don't. Not anymore.

[H. Foley]

That's cut out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ryan. Ryan. Beat him up. I'm duct taped to the chair. I'm not wearing this the whole goddamn episode. I'm putting my foot down. Baby.

[H. Foley]

Do what you want to do.

[Kevin Ryan]

You do what you want.

[H. Foley]

To dig in your own grave. And we're back.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ah, we're back, baby.

[H. Foley]

Happy New Year to everybody out there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Happy New Year, gang. We fucking love you. Thanks for another great year in the books, baby.

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wish everybody a happy, healthy new year. This is dropping, I think a couple hours before the ball drops. Some people in England or Europe might be listening to this in a new year right now. Isn't that weird? And some people are freaky. Talk about the date. What is it, the date line?

[H. Foley]

No, international date line.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, so it's just fucking the date line as opposed. I mean, do you think there's like a regional dateline?

[H. Foley]

How come they don't have international To Catch a Predator if they have international Dateline, huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

What are you doing? Those guys are freaks. And it's encouraged over there. All fucking countries are all fucked up.

[H. Foley]

Said underage kids, they do old broads. What are you doing? This woman is 72. Anywho, I wanted to ask you this.

[Kevin Ryan]

What? After you. You sold all of our hard work down the tubes for Cheesecake Factory, which I do respect.

[H. Foley]

30 pieces of silver, that's what Judas got. Didn't end well. Yeah, imagine Jesus showing back up. What the you doing here?

[Kevin Ryan]

What are you bouncing bits? He work in religious material? What if they turned you into.

[H. Foley]

I got a Christian show next week in Utah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Gonna be Mormon, huh? Christians in Utah, man, talk about behind enemy lines.

[H. Foley]

Trying to find.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, good luck, man.

[H. Foley]

Good luck. Trying to find a decent piece of corned beef in Utah, huh? How you doing? Listen, we can't be screwing around. We're on the clock here. There's another show coming in the film.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, no, listen. I'm running this ship the ayg way, the small business owner way. We're not doing your corporate dance.

[H. Foley]

Yes, we are. Jim Cramer comes in at noon to do Mad Money.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not dancing for your fucking corporate puppet string Masters. O. Hey, we're old school, Janice. Old school.

[H. Foley]

That's old news, baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

You've lost touch with the common.

[H. Foley]

We're ringing the bell on Wall street next week. Oh, see, now you like that, don't you?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I don't. Why would I like that?

[H. Foley]

We're gonna go with some of the guys from down down there.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got guys I don't need. I got.

[H. Foley]

These guys score chicks.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right. All this fucking corporate shell game. Fucking shell corporation, pity pat, backdoor dealings, international blood affair. All that aside, we got a goddamn family episode we have to do.

[H. Foley]

Some things will never change.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're contractually obligated I'm obligated to the fans. That's what I'm doing.

[H. Foley]

That's who we're always working for.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, no. You've traded your. You've traded in your. Your whatever for something. I'm sorry. I'm very tired. It's been a long year.

[H. Foley]

We get to do an episode of Undercover Boss, too.

[Kevin Ryan]

How the fuck you gonna go undercover, guy? Dude, there's not a. I mean, you're a good actor.

[H. Foley]

Guys, this is Chew Works here.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now, there's not enough fucking makeup in the world that make me think. I ain't sitting here talking to you. Shit.

[H. Foley]

Then we shouldn't. We should cut it might be cool if you did that. What if you came in as a new guy that we hired?

[Kevin Ryan]

For what?

[H. Foley]

You think the boys would know? Do you know Luke if we had him made up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Where is he?

[Luke Dempsey]

Is he going to sit back here?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Like, who am I? Who's the new guy?

[H. Foley]

You're a new editor that I hired.

[Kevin Ryan]

That you hired?

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Then where am I when the new guy comes?

[H. Foley]

You're out of town. You're in. You're in Germany.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm out of town in Germany.

[H. Foley]

You went over there for Oktoberfest.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

In January.

[Kevin Ryan]

Takes place September.

[H. Foley]

Does it? Germans always lying.

[Kevin Ryan]

I keep you on your toes. They're planning, plotting a lot of things.

[H. Foley]

They built a Luftwaffe undercover. They did it under gliding. They said it was a gliding club, but they're really scouting pilots.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's cool.

[H. Foley]

I learned that at the Dempsey retreat this weekend.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right.

[H. Foley]

Fort Myers, Florida.

[Kevin Ryan]

Man.

[H. Foley]

They've had a nice time.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did they. Did they give you full health benefits because they've taken your funny bone. Okay. They don't. We're back.

[H. Foley]

What do you got for me?

[Kevin Ryan]

Nothing. I don't like that. I'm not reporting to you.

[H. Foley]

I'm your boss.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, you're not. No, you're not.

[H. Foley]

Respect.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, you're not. Listen, boots on the ground out there, I'm still fighting for you. Okay?

[H. Foley]

By the way, I had to pay a dollar for this.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that's what happens. We got to get you off this.

[H. Foley]

You got to spend money to make money.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[Luke Dempsey]

Gotta cut costs.

[Kevin Ryan]

See, that's what these guys are doing. To line his fucking pockets.

[H. Foley]

Huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

So how you. So he can. So you can what? How many? I have another house in fucking Old Greenwich.

[Luke Dempsey]

I think so.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Luke Dempsey]

I want to connect them.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what. That's what these fucking rats want to do.

[H. Foley]

I made a big mistake.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're renting on a fucking apartment. Let's go. Big man's back. Take that, Dempsey Group. Big man's back. Big man's back. Let's go. Garbage, unite. Garbage unite. Trav, cut out Luke. Replace him with a hot brawl with big tits.

[H. Foley]

I'm down for that.

[Kevin Ryan]

See when we're back, baby. Oh, you're all wrapped up. This guy stinks. He can't even. He can't even make quitting look cool.

[H. Foley]

Well, first expense. I broke my headphones.

[Kevin Ryan]

You can't quit. You're fired.

[H. Foley]

Why are you doing that to me? Now Kippy's back.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just sign right here. Now we're both. The boys are back linked up.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, screw you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Screw you and your rich ass. Dad. Don't fucking need that.

[H. Foley]

All due respect, with you.

[Kevin Ryan]

What'd you do? How did you get it through? You're like the world's worst fisherman. Every time I look over, you're wrapped up. Fish is holding you up.

[H. Foley]

He's a keeper.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a big one. Everybody comes out to the docks. All jokes aside, that's why you're not in charge.

[H. Foley]

I've had several business calls, people asking to. For me to try to sweet talk you into a deal. Mm. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not one of them brought a dollar. Each one. Each one, I had to come out of pocket, which I'll happily do.

[H. Foley]

But that timeshare was a lock.

[Kevin Ryan]

So funny. This was all over the Instagram passwords.

[H. Foley]

Can we do it? Huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

That was the first big fight. Give me the fucking password.

[H. Foley]

I never said that.

[Kevin Ryan]

You what? I remember where I was. No, I was on 50.

[H. Foley]

Selective memory. You remember we made love that night?

[Kevin Ryan]

That was in the morning. Listen, gang, all this corporate talks. Neither here, now. There. Like I said, we got a gosh darn family episode on our hands. As you know, when you join the old Patreon, the greatest website in the world, you'll get to answer your garbage question on the air. Let's see here. This one's from Ant. Hoodies, loose cigarettes, first time, long time, never have one. Red. Is it garbage? If your dad owned one of those cash blower booths. Every family function ends with one person getting 20 seconds to grab as many ones as you can.

[H. Foley]

Wow. That's awesome.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's sickish.

[H. Foley]

Why would he have that?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. You probably get one. See what I mean? If they're online, I'm sure you can get one for, like, I got the.

[H. Foley]

Cash to put in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

What, are we going to have guests do it?

[H. Foley]

Ooh, that'd be pretty sweet.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's sick. You get you get, you get 20 seconds in the dollar booth, man, it sucks. Put a hundred sneako. One or two hundreds in there. That was always the big thing.

[H. Foley]

Just a bummer. You really would have been Dempsey material. You got great ideas?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, ideas for us, baby.

[H. Foley]

How much are they, Luke?

[Luke Dempsey]

About two grand.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[Luke Dempsey]

Unless you want an inflatable one.

[Kevin Ryan]

Inflatable? Fuck that.

[H. Foley]

No, we don't want inflatable.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not spending two grand. We don't have that corporate checkbook no more.

[Luke Dempsey]

Fuck about 250.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, I don't think this guy was rolling around with a $2,000 thing. And only.

[H. Foley]

Maybe he got it for work.

[Kevin Ryan]

And only letting one person get in with $1 bill. He was letting one person get in for 20 seconds, right? To grab $1 bills at most.

[H. Foley]

What do you think's in there? How many dollar bills?

[Kevin Ryan]

A hundred at Most.

[H. Foley]

You think 100?

[Kevin Ryan]

Not that much, huh?

[H. Foley]

Didn't your mom do it?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I just bought a used car. You bought the Ford Taurus? I had my Ford tires, might have been new, but I remember and they were like for every dollar you grab, you get. I don't know what, a hundred dollars. I don't. I forget the deal.

[H. Foley]

You were mortified, weren't you?

[Kevin Ryan]

I was fucking devastated. I was up there like a stripper, fucking dancing for dollars. Like, lady, I know, Liz, I know you're a single mom at times are tough. You were abandoned.

[H. Foley]

You ever see the mom twerking on the guy and the kid runs over and breaks it up?

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh yeah, beat his ass. I'd. I'd be fighting everybody. Every goddamn body you get back there. That's sick though. That's a lot of fun. Especially if it's for kids. Especially if it's a kids put a 10 year old in there. Yeah, a little bit of competition. That's real. I mean, if you're like the uncles are getting in there to try to grab 15, 20 bucks, but that's a good time. I don't know. I don't know how to slice it a fucking. If you can walk away with a couple bucks as a 10 year old, it's a good friggin time.

[H. Foley]

That's always it. It's not even about the money. It's just you get a little something.

[Kevin Ryan]

Something I would have to push back. You should let everybody, not everybody, but more than one kid take a crack at.

[H. Foley]

Remember getting a five when you were a kid? A finski. What are you nodding at? Probably got a check.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, they really turned on the fucking Dempsey.

[H. Foley]

You Almost had me.

[Kevin Ryan]

You can't control him. The corporate. Corporate America can't control this fucking guy.

[Luke Dempsey]

I got his signature. That's all I need.

[H. Foley]

I do.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's on Think I. He's what?

[H. Foley]

You have an X on a piece of paper. Big deal.

[Kevin Ryan]

He wrote I love dick or something like that. Fuck you try to get me.

[H. Foley]

I still need to use the pool house this weekend though.

[Kevin Ryan]

Cooking meth.

[H. Foley]

Put the tarp over the house.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's see here. This is from Ambulance chaser. Great name. $10 home. You never have one red. Are you garbage if you've been dropped off to school in a vehicle with tinted windows? That's a tough look. That is a tough, tough look.

[H. Foley]

Is that Jody dropping you off from Baby Boy?

[Kevin Ryan]

I was dropped off in junior high in my neighbor's. My neighbor lived right across from us. Or not junior high in elementary school. At one point the two of them and me and my brother all went to the same school before kids and our moms or like whatever, they would flip flop sometimes driving them to school or whatever. And one time she, our neighbor was driving us to school, but in this older son's car and he was probably like 21.

[H. Foley]

The hell was going on there?

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean? I think it was just like in the. I don't know.

[H. Foley]

It's just her cars in the shop or just.

[Kevin Ryan]

Maybe it was like the driveway was like I just pile in something. Yeah, it wasn't. They were pretty. Not clam, but normal. It wasn't like out of trashy.

[H. Foley]

What was the car?

[Kevin Ryan]

A fucking red 90s, like 1991 red Mustang like the 5O. And it had red tint. It had. I never seen. And I remember bragging when we got.

[H. Foley]

To school, was it an Autobot or a Decepticon?

[Kevin Ryan]

And I remember we were like piled in the back. So you got. I mean that holds four people and you got four kids.

[H. Foley]

Two of them gotta be hot chicks.

[Kevin Ryan]

And you got four kids, which we were not. And yeah, I remember pulling up and like getting out of the back seat with the, with the chair and like falling out. You know what I mean? Thinking I have to think I was fucking Vanilla Ice. You couldn't tell me shit, dog, It's.

[H. Foley]

Mr. Johnson to you. I never.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a tough look.

[H. Foley]

It was always very hit or miss to get in. First of all, going to school, that's too familiar. I don't like getting in somebody else's car that early in the morning like another parent.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't disagree.

[H. Foley]

The way the mom smells in the morning, you know?

[Kevin Ryan]

I understand weird, but I wasn't feeling it.

[H. Foley]

I either my mom or my dad or the school bus or my brother. That was it. They're the only ones that were. That were that were taking me over there to learn my education, you know what I mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure, yeah.

[H. Foley]

Which I don't want to smell somebody.

[Kevin Ryan]

You did so well.

[H. Foley]

Never liked it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm.

[H. Foley]

Never liked it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I understand that. I was a very. I was a very dropped off to school kid because half the time I stayed at my dad's latchkey kid, which was out of the school bus. I was in the district, just a different school, so he would have to drive me anyway.

[H. Foley]

And then like, lucky nobody reported you for that. I would have turned you in as head of school safety.

[Kevin Ryan]

That way you were. Oh, you've been a narc your whole fucking life. Good to know, man. We're really learning a lot about H. Foley this episode. Bit of a rat, corporate shill, narcissist, fucking backstabber. That's what you are to me.

[H. Foley]

Wait till my second page cover of Forbes comes out next week.

[Kevin Ryan]

Your second page cover on the second page. I don't think that's the COVID Then.

[H. Foley]

Ben Stiller got the first.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm on the ninth page cover.

[H. Foley]

Ben Stiller got page one for Stillers.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's that?

[H. Foley]

Is it a soda? Ben Stiller soda.

[Kevin Ryan]

How jealous of you are. That famous actor and a soda mogul.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, it's pretty cool. Yeah, not a lot of sugar in it either. They're really good. I have one over the break. Loved it. Talking about some Knicks tickets going together.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, very nice. Oh, you had it with him. What?

[H. Foley]

What?

[Kevin Ryan]

Luke, if we wanted Courtside's Knicks tickets, well, who would your call be? Can you do that? Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Luke Dempsey]

I can get nets, actually. I know it's a step down.

[Kevin Ryan]

The Dempsey Group, man. See that over promising, under delivered. Oh, yeah, no problem. Oh, it would actually be the new Mexican rink Rats. But get the fuck out of here. I had to pooch on the line in two minutes. Give me tickets. I tried.

[H. Foley]

I get to sit on my niece's swim meet too. Nets. The Nets.

[Luke Dempsey]

You got to perform at halftime, but you're in that.

[Kevin Ryan]

You don't mind. What are you performing? Wait, what? In your head right there.

[H. Foley]

What?

[Kevin Ryan]

One of your skills was performing. Because I don't think it was. Stand up.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

What was it?

[H. Foley]

Music bombing. Yeah, of course I do. A medley of Bruno Mars songs with Bruno Mars.

[Kevin Ryan]

Bruno Mars bars. Guys, I'm tired. I'm sick.

[H. Foley]

Who can get you Nets tickets.

[Luke Dempsey]

My buddy, what does he do? He's an agent.

[H. Foley]

What kind of agent?

[Luke Dempsey]

You're familiar with him.

[H. Foley]

Oh, that kid? Yeah, good kid.

[Luke Dempsey]

Good guy.

[H. Foley]

How come he can't get Knicks tickets.

[Kevin Ryan]

Are like, they're like 15 grand a clip. Unless you're playing a garden.

[H. Foley]

I see all the boys over there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, because they're playing venues owned by msg. That's all. It's all pr, huh?

[H. Foley]

What spots do we do owned by msg?

[Kevin Ryan]

Only MSG you do comes in fucking Rabola Ramen. Okay.

[H. Foley]

Guy down there, wallwop.

[Kevin Ryan]

I fuck that up.

[H. Foley]

I see Sammy Morel there all the time.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, the Beacon and all those. A lot of the theaters owned by msg. So as a promo, they put you there and then put you on the thing. Hey, it's all fucking.

[H. Foley]

You know who plays for the Nets?

[Luke Dempsey]

We'll do the Nets and we'll build you up to the Knicks.

[H. Foley]

Don't worry, I'm not going to a.

[Luke Dempsey]

Net game start you small.

[H. Foley]

They got that weird ass court. Stupid.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what's whack when they do the other color? You're like, what are we in Lithuania here watching with these wack ass free throw lines?

[H. Foley]

Playing with the red, white and blue balls.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Fuck out of here. All right, let's see here. This is a good one. This is from King without a castle. $10, homie. Jammed up winner. An all around swell guy who has had one red. We fucking love you. Happy New Year. King Without a Castle. Talk about a fucking. Just salt of the earth dude right there. Not a corporate shrew, not a question. But my old man, when asked if he had an extra sig, would open the pack, look inside and say, nah, this one only has 20. Shout out to the big O. He'd usually give one after the joke landed.

[H. Foley]

That's a move.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's an old school smoker move. You'd run into those guys at like a wedding where there's some. You have some sort of familiarity where like you're both at a thing. He's part of her side, you're part of his side. You both end up out there and he like, he doesn't. He doesn't hit you with a, hey, I'm Jim Jenkins. He just kind of looks. He's got this sign in a mouth. Got a mustache with the smokestain. And he hits you at you like.

[H. Foley]

Wedding cake on there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Kind of like, welcome, cowboy. There's like this like old school now. I'm just, yeah, understood. We're both out here together fighting a.

[H. Foley]

Good fight, you know, is a real smoker. The guy that smokes with the lighter in his hand still. Yeah. They doing that thing and they take a long time to light it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. My stepdad was like, the real anxiety, the real no look guy. You know what I mean? Like, hey, can I get one of them? He'd have the cig in the mouth, so he's like. Eyes were cocked over so the smoke don't get any eyes and hand it to you.

[H. Foley]

That means he didn't really want to give it to you.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, no, he would. He was big. He was big. Sharon smokes with everybody. Anybody. Everybody share heaters.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

He was like, yeah, come on in. The water's fine. Which I had as a heater guy, too. If someone's like, I shouldn't, I go, all right. I don't. You know? But when they did.

[H. Foley]

You're always good with the smoke. Me too. I always give them away.

[Kevin Ryan]

You just never have them. That's your problem.

[H. Foley]

I have them a lot.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, you don't.

[H. Foley]

When a homeless guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

In the history of the show, you ever admit that you were always jammed up with heaters?

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

And now with the Dempsey Group, I don't have to because I have corporate lawyers behind me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Take that Philip Morris.

[H. Foley]

Homeless guy asked me always give him two. Talk about making a guy's night. I'm gonna hear take two. Yeah. Then they asked for the lighter.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's no way he's not breaking that thing in ten seconds. Hey, that. That second one's not lasting. The first one. That's gonna go in his pocket full of stars. Oh, yeah, they keep the lighter. I ain't got that.

[H. Foley]

I have a napkin I could light on fire for you. Yeah, that's terrible.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

Nothing. Commenting on my own. What's next? So you do the same thing with the mic. You move it around, buddy.

[Kevin Ryan]

My mic has never fallen apart, ever. We've done, like.

[H. Foley]

See, it's these kind of comments that made me make a funny stabby in the back.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sell the company out from under me.

[H. Foley]

You got it?

[Kevin Ryan]

I. I hate this narrative.

[Luke Dempsey]

You better keep care of that mic. You're not getting a new one.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. What the.

[H. Foley]

We already. We already fucking ran you out of town.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nuh.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, we did. You and your Connecticut money, taking your Mayflower money.

[Kevin Ryan]

How was it for, like. I mean, what couple of days that you were.

[H. Foley]

What. What do you offer me?

[Kevin Ryan]

You were the prettiest girl at the ball. They really took you out. They courted you. You like that.

[H. Foley]

This is nice. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Coke was a little stepped on, but.

[Kevin Ryan]

Thought it'd be better. Finance guys.

[H. Foley]

Kevin's talking about Chime Chime.

[Kevin Ryan]

Chime Chime.

[H. Foley]

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[Kevin Ryan]

We're talking boots on the ground, salt of the earth, blue collar people. Chime isn't just another banking app. They unlock smarter banking for everyday people. With products like my pay giving you Access up to $500 of your paycheck anytime and getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Some old banks still don't do this, which is crazy. Listen, everyone's been in a pinch. I'd be lying to say if I have it myself. Well documented. Sometimes you need 24 hours, sometimes you need 48 hours. You got something coming up, the car breaks down, you got a big vacation. You want to go to the strip club. Something you need a couple of bucks. Forget overdraft fees, minimum balance fees and monthly fees. Chime turns everyday spending into real rewards and progress. Progress bank fee free plus overdraft charge you can count on. Help you build credit history. Stress fee get paid when you say up to 500. Earn up to 3.5% APY on savings, which is eight times higher than traditional banks. Rated five star by USA Today and customer serve for customer service. Real Humans 24.7Chime is not just smarter banking. It's the most rewarding way to bank. Join the millions who are already banking for free today. It just takes a few minutes to sign up. Head to chime.comgarbage that is chime.com garbage. Do it.

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[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's see here.

[H. Foley]

Real, real tight with the bag key Bumps only. Brutal.

[Kevin Ryan]

Keep you on a short leash. I let you run, dog. Okay. All right. A little too much. All right. And we're back. All right, this one's from half tat. $10 hoagie. This is great. I did this this weekend. When you get a case of water, do you take them out and place them in the fridge or do you rip hole in the top just big enough for one bottle?

[H. Foley]

Rip the hole.

[Kevin Ryan]

Poke a hole in my top.

[H. Foley]

Rip the hole keeps them in place.

[Kevin Ryan]

Man, that's like. That's never my intention. I always, I love a cold water and when I have the energy and the time and I'm moving, they're all going in there and that's like if I, if it doesn't happen right away, if I don't, if I don't come in with the energy, I'm putting all this stuff away.

[H. Foley]

Never last.

[Kevin Ryan]

It never let. It just never gets there. But man, I was fucking. I was pulling out at a warm ass water. I hate warm water. I was pulling warm ass waters.

[H. Foley]

Why?

[Kevin Ryan]

Like room temperature water.

[H. Foley]

No, but wait, you didn't put it in the fridge?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, and I just had the top because I needed one. The baby, we come in something, it's. Hey, I'll get that in a couple minutes. I don't get to it.

[H. Foley]

It's always the last thing to go in.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what I'm saying. Two hours, three hours. If that lasts four hours. I'm already two waters in and I ain't. Fuck that.

[H. Foley]

Ain't going in on a grocery store run. The two last things to get brought into the house, the case of water and that big ass bag of dog food. Go get the dog food from the car. Fucking Patty busting my ass. I brought a fucking 16 bag.

[Kevin Ryan]

You quit halfway. I mean, you didn't finish the job though. Hey, what do you leave the bag for her?

[H. Foley]

Oh, your fat ass is gonna start throwing. I know you, you probably left milk out there for the weekend.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's cold as winter time. The Taurus didn't have heat.

[H. Foley]

Pears drive me crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is, this is a bit of a trashy thing that I'm in the. I'm currently in the midst of. We were at the, we were out in the burbs and like it's hard hitting that trash cycle of trash made versus when trash night is for us, you know what I mean? And you know we have a good support system. If we like leaves the cans, a neighbor will bring them up or whatever. Like stuff like that, you know? What I mean, bring them up like if we're leaving, say trash night. Trash is fucking Thursday morning. I put it out Thursday morning or Wednesday night.

[H. Foley]

Neighbors are big on that. They don't want your trash cans out there. For aesthetic reasons. And also too, because I did a trash can and one of those open wheel trash cans. If that's open, the wind catches that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean those. But those big thick ones, those. They're like thick plastic blow. But this is my dirt bag logic. So I got, I got a full trash can in the garage. Full. I mean I'm talking diapes, diapies, food, everything. But it's so cold out. This is my logic. That kind of keeps it all your. It's refrigerate.

[H. Foley]

Like it's not smelly.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, right.

[H. Foley]

I don't know that in the summer.

[Kevin Ryan]

I can't do that in the summer. But I take it to Wawa and I shove it in there. Nadine's like, can you do that? I go, it's fucking Wawa. I spend enough fucking money at this place. Motherfuckers would be sucking my balls.

[H. Foley]

You hold up a coffee cup from the trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just bought it. And also too, I don't know if you know, the ones at Wawa used the trash cans used to have a small openings. Now they're big openings that fit a big. They want the track. They don't want it, but they'd rather you do it than throw it on the floor, something. Yeah, so we'll do that in the summer. I'm very good with keeping it one bag that I can get rid of. Uh huh. Uh. But I just. It just got be. I just got behind and is that okay? It's refrigerated trash. It's aside from the house. Not in the house. It's in. It's in a can. Locked in the can in the coal.

[H. Foley]

If I have a violation, I'll shut you down for that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not fucking. I'm not a commercial kitchen patty.

[H. Foley]

I had a beef with her about this.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, I'm not doing it. I had no option. What am I gonna do? What is my other option at this point? Roll the trash can out to win and just. What do you mean?

[H. Foley]

You can't just leave it out there.

[Kevin Ryan]

For days before pickup.

[H. Foley]

What's gonna snake?

[Kevin Ryan]

We just said. You just said neighbors don't like empty trash. They don't want. Also no, I don't think you're allowed to just have your trash can out three days ahead.

[H. Foley]

Who's gonna come in and hit you? With that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Local ordinances.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

Really. Which I'm currently behind my real estate taxes.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

I just.

[H. Foley]

Property tax.

[Kevin Ryan]

Property tax. I can't pay it online because there's like part of it. Because there's a smaller ordinance that I'm part of that they do it or some.

[H. Foley]

No kidding.

[Kevin Ryan]

And they. They. The broad keeps hitting me up. You got my cell phone number? How Fuck you got that? But I gotta tell you. Hey, duds.

[H. Foley]

They're not gonna let you in the public pool this summer.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know.

[H. Foley]

Kid drive on the street, just cutting through the neighborhood. Gonna play hardball. I'm cheering. Roses look good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. So like, listen. Yeah. No, you. I'm sure there's something. I would hear it. It's a small enough town. I would. It would. People would be upset.

[H. Foley]

We had a little snow down here. Not much, but a little whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

At Patty's.

[H. Foley]

Yes. And she goes, do me a favor, roll the trash cans out and leave it out there. Because the guy was. They were coming that night and I was taking the trash out of the kitchen. This fucking thing's empty. There's like two bags in there. I was like, you don't need to roll that out. It's not full. Now you have to roll it out. It's not full.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is this because of the snow? Why didn't you want to do it? Just. It wasn't full. Just out of principle. No.

[H. Foley]

I think if plus had an English muffin in the toaster.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Okay. I got down to brass tacks real quick. You folded under me. Folded under. Questionnaire.

[H. Foley]

You don't need. You don't need to do. Unless the trash can is full.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't. I disagree with that 101.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know. Listen, you're going to push.

[H. Foley]

You're going to garments.

[Kevin Ryan]

You don't operate in the most active way all the time.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Fair enough.

[H. Foley]

The good offense is a good defense.

[Kevin Ryan]

I play D. Listen, if there's trash, trash goes out on trash night. If it's not snowing. If it's not. What if it's like. If there's some sort of hurdle other than just walking it out.

[H. Foley]

It was cold.

[Luke Dempsey]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's gotta go. Listen, this is coming from a guy who's got.

[H. Foley]

The trash can isn't full. Do you take the trash can out of the house if it's not full?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, but that's ah. It's different.

[H. Foley]

Why is it different?

[Kevin Ryan]

Now you're just store. What do you mean? It's a hundred percent different.

[H. Foley]

Why?

[Kevin Ryan]

Because one's going from inside the house to out of the house. And then out of the house away.

[H. Foley]

What do you think, Luke?

[Luke Dempsey]

Yeah, take him out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shut up. Tell your daddy s my D from behind. Okay. I take that. I'm pissed. You steal my company out from under me. You rap bastard.

[H. Foley]

It's all about.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then I see him at a show. He shakes my hand. Out of here, Lou.

[Luke Dempsey]

Better call him sir.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dad. My buddy.

[H. Foley]

He can have his 1200 bucks back.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is that what it was in Cheesecake? The Cheesecake Factory bill came out of the 1200. You don't think I have Danny Ryan up there hanging his ass off the fucking balcony like Suge Knight? You're nuts. We don't play. Listen. We don't.

[H. Foley]

That's who I should have dealt with. I should have sold the company to Danny.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Bring it in. Bring it. Yeah. That's who you do it. Yeah. That's a great idea. Listen, if you don't. My. My fam. My dirt bag family has been running construction companies for generations. Bad. Poorly. Taxes. No check.

[H. Foley]

Air conditioners in here. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

If you think they're just. They would just go. Okay. Company got stolen. Nah.

[H. Foley]

Forklift drives through the back. Sorry for the hair. Would you Nuts.

[Luke Dempsey]

Would you ever go to the dump I threw his.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen. And this is how I know I'm nuts. My dad. We were big on if I got.

[H. Foley]

A couple drinks in me. No.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's that?

[H. Foley]

I don't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't know what you meant.

[H. Foley]

The kid got it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I would love that because I don't like the fact that I keep falling out of this trash schedule. Another thing I do is like we collect. There's a lot of stuff we've. You know as the. The house is a work in progress. Furniture, stuff like that. So we do. I love a 1800 got junk. There's no better service than that. Yeah, dude. They show up. I have just a pile of shit in the garage.

[H. Foley]

They don't give a fuck it to.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nah. That.

[H. Foley]

Now throw it in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude. I had these two guys. They're super sweet. They're great franchise. Their franchise. Great. It's a very good franchise to own.

[H. Foley]

They say they want that feedback though.

[Kevin Ryan]

They want the feedback. And dude, they're nice as do they sweep up like they sweep up messes. That was like already in the garage. Just like garage leaves and cobwebs and shit. They come in.

[H. Foley]

I think they're cool with it because you really can't stand on airs. When they roll in. There's only one thing they're doing.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're seeing you at your worst.

[H. Foley]

They're seeing you at your worst. You're jammed the fuck up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You know what I mean? And you're throwing it out. So it's not like. Well, you have to take the shelves out and do it. Shut up. They throw in that basket and it's fucking out the door.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. They don't ask like if we were doing it right. If you were coming over and I had to get rid of a bunch of stuff in the garage. It was like on shelves. I would.

[H. Foley]

No, I meant the royal you, not you. It'd be cool. We'd have beers and hang out. I like to smell dirty diapers.

[Kevin Ryan]

Talking to the guy, it's like he's hoarding trash in here. I don't know what he's doing.

[H. Foley]

What the 1900 chunk? Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I get the van roll out with later baldy.

[H. Foley]

I'm riding bitch in between the two of them. Can I say that?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I think so.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

You've said worse. What the you talking? I say you're crazy corporate now. Everything you say is beeped. What was I saying? They like you said they don't. There's no like, oh, we're gonna take it off here. Go through. It's like it. It's like they're ruining. It's like they're destroying evidence. They don't give a. It's like Enron, dude.

[H. Foley]

They're just shredding every light and on fire as they're pulling away.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I love that. That is a great. Everybody that works there's fucking. So like overly nice and professional. The point where you. All right, I get it. But then you go, no, this is very sweet that you're taking this much care. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Shout out. Have you ever been to the dump? Yeah, guys. For work.

[Kevin Ryan]

Work Wildwood. We hit the dump a lot.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Cuz you can't the same thing. If you're leaving for the weekend, you go down on Monday.

[H. Foley]

The dump in wild would look like. Where is that?

[Kevin Ryan]

Over by Tommy Cassidy's house. I'm not even fucking with you. Right by Tommy C's house.

[H. Foley]

I thought you say right at the edge of the water.

[Kevin Ryan]

No. And they run it the dump trash down in a shore at a down the shore. You know, they.

[H. Foley]

How can it be in on the.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's not a landfill.

[H. Foley]

Oh, okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's like just a bunch of dumpsters.

[H. Foley]

Oh.

[Kevin Ryan]

And they make sure you got to show a car to make sure you live there. They don't really, but they you know.

[H. Foley]

They make sure they charge you.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, like if you are a resident or whatever, have some sort of property or house or whatever, you're allowed to part your taxes. I guess there's some old timer there, he's never asked me. I always fight in my head that he's gonna ask me. And he's go, hey, Donna. Today I can't call it. He just let you in to get.

[H. Foley]

A cushy sweet shore job is tough.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. Not that many. Not that many year long ones, right? I mean, but I got a sweet.

[H. Foley]

Gig down here in the summer.

[Kevin Ryan]

We were big on dump. Big on scrap yards too. Fucking calling different scrap yards, seeing what the fucking copper's going forward. It's going for this here. It's going for that there dry. How. Okay, well, that one's an extra 30 minutes away. You driving out all day having them come out. Big dumpster family too.

[H. Foley]

Is that cash they give you for the copper? You guys whacked that up in that truck?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Your dad used to give you a little piece.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Huh.

[H. Foley]

What would you. What was the biggest hole you ever got from?

[Kevin Ryan]

There's a lot.

[H. Foley]

Like 500 bucks.

[Kevin Ryan]

Significantly more than. Really? Yeah. No, kid, we did it one. There was whatever. Yeah. There was one job of a client that was going. Not going out of business was moving.

[H. Foley]

Huh.

[Kevin Ryan]

And he ain't gonna say it now.

[H. Foley]

He'S supposed to give them some too.

[Kevin Ryan]

Thank you. Everybody, everybody. Everybody got their.

[H. Foley]

The guy down a double Wildwood.

[Kevin Ryan]

Everybody, their beaks wet. And it really was a very healthy summer for everybody, really.

[H. Foley]

Five grand. What it from one hole?

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, yeah. It depends. It depends on what we were scrapping that day.

[H. Foley]

Huh? Those crackheads really know what they're doing.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I mean, they're playing. I mean, they. If they got the.

[H. Foley]

How much copper you think is in like one old house like on like Freeland Heisen Avenue, Newark. Okay, I may or may not start the Sopranos again.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure, I picked up on that. Probably not that much. Not that much. I mean, it's only. It's only 1200 bucks. I don't. I don't know what it's going for. It's like two dollars. It used. I remember. What's it. What's. Look, copper one. What's copper one going for a pound, two, three bucks? Maybe. I have no idea.

[Luke Dempsey]

They're saying a rundown house, you can get about 200 to 400 pounds and then copper. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Whoa.

[Luke Dempsey]

That.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, that seems a lot, but I don't know My man. No. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I mean, I'd say it's 200 bucks. That's 400 bucks.

[Kevin Ryan]

Bucks.

[Luke Dempsey]

It's about 390 to 450 per pound. Copper one right now.

[H. Foley]

450.

[Kevin Ryan]

But all that copper might not be copper one if it's painted, if it's got solder on it, if you got it. So then you get really. Cut the joints off, you go, you just whack out the.

[H. Foley]

Make a bowl out of that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I did. That was the first bowl I ever made.

[H. Foley]

Was copper.

[Kevin Ryan]

Copper.

[H. Foley]

That can't be good for you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nah. And I remember this kid, Brett was like, that's how you get arthritis in your lungs. I'm like, you're 12 years old. How do you know that?

[H. Foley]

And you can't get arthritis in your.

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't know. That's what he told me. My dad caught me get emphysema.

[H. Foley]

Ocpd. Copd. Copd.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. Nypd. Lapd.

[H. Foley]

Berries and cherries. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

But. Yeah, I don't know. We were. Yeah, it was a. It was a very cash heavy son. This is 20 years ago. Very cash heavy summer.

[H. Foley]

Very nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

But then we did everything.

[H. Foley]

A lot of big stainless.

[Kevin Ryan]

You did all the stainless steel? Did everything. Did like, you know, whatever. Like whatever we'd be going for hall. So you had like a. We had a dumpster for like trash and a big dumpster for like, I don't know, whatever. Like just generic metal was. I forget. I don't remember. I was. I was on a copper tame. Then the coils. All the coils from the refrigeration unit you cut out. There's all fucking.

[H. Foley]

You don't keep the refrigerators?

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean?

[H. Foley]

The refrigeration units, you don't keep them?

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[H. Foley]

Huh.

[Kevin Ryan]

Or like all the. All the air conditioning units. Don't you just cut out the coils? No.

[H. Foley]

They broken?

[Kevin Ryan]

No. The building was old. Was.

[H. Foley]

Why wouldn't you keep the refrigerators? Like to keep the. The air conditioning units and then you put them in another place.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't. No, it's on the roof of the place. What are you gonna. You're gonna get a crane? You're put a. Put it in the back of a flatbed truck, drive it up to put in a 20 year old air conditioning unit on a new building. Who the wants to do that?

[H. Foley]

You put it in your house.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hair's all blown back cold. As in this. You cannot lose that room. Got a. Got a rooftop.

[H. Foley]

Summer.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got a rooftop unit on a condo.

[H. Foley]

You're sitting at 14 hundy. Pushing at that sick bowl.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can I. I'm sitting there in a jack. It's August. I'm getting high. My little one egg of burgers in front of you. That's great. Yeah, that was. That was when we. We. My. I fell. I ate hot. I ate two hot dogs and red Gatorade every day for five days a week for the whole summer.

[H. Foley]

That'll give you arthritis. Dude. Talk about too much artificial flavors. Holy shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

So good, dude. We take an order. By the end of. Everybody knew. And we just go in.

[H. Foley]

And your burps are packed with electrolytes.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was a. It was like a bodega. Like a candy store bodega. But he had boiled hot. Yeah. And dude, we would go in as an Asian guy and he. I would walk in and he would just fucking pull open a bag of buns. And he knew we were doing 1012. It was me. It was four of us daisies. Everybody to two DZ's great. Sat around an old. It was an empty warehouse. So we sat around the. But the conference room table we took down and had like. We'd sit around that. Like. There's like this big executive board thing.

[H. Foley]

Counting your copper money. Getting heartburn.

[Kevin Ryan]

First time I left the garage door open, people started looking at what we were doing. My dad said, fucking close that door. You don't need everybody in your business. I said, okay. I don't know what we're doing here.

[H. Foley]

That kid's on his third hot dog.

[Kevin Ryan]

Holy shit. That's too much red. That's too much red. Red dye. All right. All that, you know, non ferrous metals aside, got business to take care of. This is a relative. We relatively touched on this. This is just a pro move. This is from Big Buck Repairman. Ten dollar bozo. Never had one. Red. Is it trash? To stop by the auto parts store to clear the check engine light on the way to trade in your car. I love it. Sick them. Let them figure it out.

[H. Foley]

That's the move.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. All clear. I'm sure they can hook it up to a fucking diagnostic. Yeah. Computer now with this.

[H. Foley]

Tell you what's wrong with it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, right away.

[H. Foley]

Oh, yeah. The engines failed. Do me a favor. She cleared it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't reset that.

[H. Foley]

I like hot dogs.

[Kevin Ryan]

A hard reboot on this one.

[H. Foley]

Take this piece of copper.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's see this one. This is a big one for the big guy, probably. Yeah, that's what it says. No. Oh, okay.

[H. Foley]

Man. You know, if I got one or Two addressed to me. It wouldn't kill me. It's all. Kippy.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're not talking to me specifically.

[H. Foley]

They know who it is, okay?

[Kevin Ryan]

Your jealousy is what's gonna. Is what's gonna force you to sell the company out from under me.

[H. Foley]

I know my arrogance.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're a tortured soul.

[H. Foley]

I wanted to turn this into a black box theater, do some of my work here. Dempsey Group said it'd be something in for me. For me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Kippy, you do do work here.

[Luke Dempsey]

We were not interested in that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes, thank you.

[H. Foley]

I was at the bottom of the contract. I wrote that in. The black box theater is going to be a handshake deal. All right, where is wrong. Go for it.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what I had the thought of? What? This is stupid and this is how you go broke, but I'd like to try it.

[H. Foley]

Okay, I'm in.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right? What if we did a. You know. You know how the social clubs are big. What if we did a Toys?

[H. Foley]

What's a social club? I mean, like a.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like it's a Soho House toady's house.

[H. Foley]

Oh, like a membership.

[Kevin Ryan]

Membership.

[H. Foley]

Now you're not talking, like, what they got out there in, like, Brooklyn or Queens.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's that?

[H. Foley]

You know, those kind of social clubs. No, Espresso and wiretaps.

[Kevin Ryan]

Guy who's obsessed with the Sopranos. No, not everything has to do with the mob. We live in reality.

[H. Foley]

We should be checking this place for bugs, too.

[Kevin Ryan]

Check your. Check your hair. All right, guy. Hey, try with me. Yeah, we could rent out a place. Make it toddies. People come to town, they can visit hoodies, make a couple of bucks.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, Guy does not get.

[H. Foley]

I'm trying to process it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Does it look like this? It can look like whatever.

[H. Foley]

It's like a bar. But a membership.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it's a. It's a place. There's a league. It's a place to go and hang. It's a social club.

[H. Foley]

Okay, let's do it. All right.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what?

[H. Foley]

Your.

[Kevin Ryan]

Your tepid response on it.

[H. Foley]

I'm just trying to understand it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know.

[H. Foley]

Okay, well, who's gonna pay for a membership if they're only here once a month? Or, what, one time?

[Kevin Ryan]

It's not fucking 10 grand a month here.

[Luke Dempsey]

The Dempsey Group would love to get in the Kevin Ryan business anyhow possible.

[Kevin Ryan]

See, if you supported my ideas and didn't drag your feet and try to do. Oh, social club. Yeah, that's awesome. And try to do poetry and check the fuck in from time to time.

[H. Foley]

Wasn't poetry. Slam poets different. It's poetry to a beat. Remember that? Got popular in the 90s. What, that kind of shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Jam poetry was not Def Jam. Okay. All right. You are clearly spiraling. You're in your head way too much. Let's. Can we ask the question to what?

[H. Foley]

That. Not Def Jam. Def Jam was a force.

[Kevin Ryan]

Def Jam is a force. You know what? Def Jam. No.

[H. Foley]

The Def Jam poetry. But this. This was, like, in San Francisco, like, what Mike Myers did. And I married an axe murderer.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Like coffee shop. Coffee. Shop culture back then was so lame. It was the end of the grunge. It got real weak.

[Kevin Ryan]

Lame. Okay.

[H. Foley]

The Limp Bizkit came along things up.

[Kevin Ryan]

I love, like, the lamest guy in the world. Calling something else lame is, like, insane. Yes, it's lame, dude. Oh, is it? Guy who lives at his parents and will again five more times.

[H. Foley]

I only have one sock on right now. I swear to God.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're sitting here fucking talking shit on people, trying.

[H. Foley]

I couldn't find any socks. I swear one. I switch him halfway through the day.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's on his cock.

[H. Foley]

That's cool. I can't do that. Fall right off. Red Hot Chili Peppers did that. They came out to a show one time and they all had their noodles covered with socks.

[Kevin Ryan]

Were there balls tucked in there? Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You can tuck the ball. No one's got it. What are you talking about?

[Kevin Ryan]

A couple of tube steaks. All right.

[H. Foley]

Fleas got a big P.

[Kevin Ryan]

You should read that in Gay Guy Quarterly, Guys.

[H. Foley]

You could use a brushing on those choppers, though.

[Kevin Ryan]

This was.

[H. Foley]

Go ahead.

[Kevin Ryan]

This one's. I'm diverting this one to you. I'm saying, please, as you're the. You're the king of the. You know, you're the. The authority on this. And I'm sure your answer is going to come in a little skewed due to certain afflictions you have. This is from Probably Gay. Definitely drunk.

[H. Foley]

I picked my nose.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sorry. Okay.

[H. Foley]

But it's your answer. Your question. I'm always here for you. My door is always open for you. Kevin.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who's that? Okay. That wasn't a question.

[H. Foley]

Oh.

[Kevin Ryan]

You said to answer your question, my door is always open for you. As you wipe the booger on your pants. That's probably gonna end up on my Dempsey jacket, which I'm okay with.

[H. Foley]

Those things are going bad.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know. Return them. That was a great bit. Got to give it to you. Great bit. Too expensive. This. $10, homie. Never have one read. What's the earliest acceptable time to eat ice Cream as an adult, huh? And give your indulgent answer. And give, like what? You. The gentleman answer that you know is true. Does that make sense?

[H. Foley]

After breakfast. Right? After breakfast. Is it coffee ice cream? You have that right when you wake up. I've had.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not. Yeah, I know. Yeah, you've had. We can all guess that. What do you think? The acceptable time. It's like, what if you were somewhere.

[H. Foley]

Where am I?

[Kevin Ryan]

You're at a restaurant, okay? For brunch. 11 o', clock, guy gets a. Guy gets ice cream. Is that crazy? At what time are you?

[H. Foley]

I'm having a meal first though, right?

[Kevin Ryan]

Hold on. This isn't you, guy. Relax. I don't know why I'm saying guy so much. You see someone else eating ice cream, what time for you? Let's do that. Live in that world. There's too many other questions.

[H. Foley]

I'm at brunch. Who am I with?

[Kevin Ryan]

You're at whatever time it is.

[H. Foley]

Who am I with?

[Kevin Ryan]

The Dempsey Group.

[H. Foley]

No, forget those guys. You guys are loot.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's looking at me.

[H. Foley]

I'm gonna be with. No, you're by yourself to brunch, huh? What am I, a loser, buddy. And brunch by myself.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

I don't.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'll just.

[H. Foley]

I'll do breakfast by myself, but not brunch, okay?

[Kevin Ryan]

You're at breakfast, okay? This is a huge difference. And when you eat flapjacks.

[H. Foley]

I don't really eat pancakes.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm a waffle man. Everybody knows that.

[H. Foley]

Dempsey Group knows that. That's how they got me.

[Kevin Ryan]

What? You look over. Or let's. Let's put it this way. What time do I, Kevin, order an ice cream and you go, whoa, that's early.

[H. Foley]

My honest answer. I don't think there is a time. I'll be cool with it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not saying you'd fucking yell at me. Can you answer the question? Okay, there's some sort of numerical time.

[H. Foley]

Can I just ask you a couple questions? Have we had a meal or are you getting that? Like, I go to. I sit down, I order an omelet, which now, just so everybody knows, my go to omelette. Go to scrambled eggs, feta, scallions and mushroom. It's a great combination. Cooked soft. I like it cooked soft, but it made me sick the other day.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's probably had seven of them.

[H. Foley]

After. That's what I'm saying. Are we having a meal first? Are you just ordering ice cream for breakfast?

[Kevin Ryan]

Breakfast. Both scenarios, okay?

[H. Foley]

If you're getting it after breakfast, I'm.

[Kevin Ryan]

Going to kill myself.

[H. Foley]

If you're getting it after breakfast, I'm okay with whatever time you get it. If you get it for breakfast, it's got to be after 11.

[Kevin Ryan]

But I would push back. That's not breakfast after 11. If your first meal of the day, you have to choose. There's lunch menus out at that.

[H. Foley]

Regardless of what your.

[Kevin Ryan]

They don't serve breakfast at 11 in an airport.

[H. Foley]

So regardless of what your cuisine is, whatever you have for the first meal of the day is considered breakfast. Whether that's a turkey club, a bowl.

[Kevin Ryan]

Of grapes, I push back on that.

[H. Foley]

What answer would you like?

[Kevin Ryan]

That wasn't. First of all, that's not the question. You stated another fact that I'm. I'm pushing back on that.

[H. Foley]

Okay, ask me the question.

[Kevin Ryan]

You haven't answered the question that I've asked you.

[H. Foley]

Ask me the question.

[Kevin Ryan]

So you're saying there's no time.

[H. Foley]

No, I'm not saying that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, what are you saying?

[H. Foley]

Not have ice cream before 9:30am okay, but I have.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

But it was always left over from the night before.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, my answer is.

[H. Foley]

I like that fudge brownie from Ben and Jerry's.

[Kevin Ryan]

As an adult, it's got my number. It's got to be some sort of vacation. And, and, and noon.

[H. Foley]

Very good.

[Kevin Ryan]

And that's even early vacation. You got to be somewhere and they have ice cream. Coney go yelled or the kids are getting it on the beach. You go, you know what? I'll do a fucking. But I mean, you can't. I mean anything. The fact that Your number was 9:30 seems very early. Very early.

[H. Foley]

What if you get up at 6?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's still early.

[H. Foley]

I might get up at 6.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shit.

[H. Foley]

I walked right in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Anything else to that as an adult? Seems early. But hey, I'm not here to judge.

[H. Foley]

For a guy who has a DC early in the morning, you're throwing a lot of shade.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would say.

[H. Foley]

I'm just kidding. I love DCs.

[Kevin Ryan]

A DC and ice cream are nowhere near each other in any sort of way.

[H. Foley]

Luke, what are your thoughts?

[Luke Dempsey]

I. Vacation's a key factor in this. I would say 4 o' clock if it's a weekday.

[H. Foley]

Holy shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

In the army also like 9:30, that means you're driving to work and there's a world where you're eating Ben and Jerry's ice cream is insane. That's wild. I'm sorry. I got it. I. That's insane. If you're. If it can replace your coffee, it's too early.

[H. Foley]

The idea of getting to work and having that little. That's ice cream.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Is crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Or you. Or you're, like, at your desk and someone's like, hey, Henry, you know, do you have the tps? And you turn around and you're fucking. You're. You're. You're mallowing out kind of talking on.

[H. Foley]

It, but it's saying, still read the numbers.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, we gotta wrap it up.

[H. Foley]

What a fun one. Gang. Happy 2026 to everybody. We hope you have a safe and happy year. We love you. We're so excited about everything we got going on this year. We're gonna be doing some weekends on the tour. Big tour this year.

[Kevin Ryan]

We love you. That's all you got on what we're doing this year? And you looked at me to confirm, gang, we fucking love you and we'll see you next time, yeah.