Hot Guys w/ Kippy & Foley

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast"
Episode: Hot Guys w/ Kippy & Foley
Release Date: March 17, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of "Are You Garbage?," hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley dive into a humorous exploration of personal habits and lifestyles to determine if their guests—and by extension, themselves—are "garbage" or not. The conversation kicks off with light-hearted banter, setting the tone for an engaging and candid discussion.

Personal Routines and Self-Care

The hosts begin by discussing their nightly routines, highlighting their contrasting approaches to self-care.

• H. Foley shares his attempts to take better care of himself, mentioning, “[I've] been trying to take better care of myself” (01:31).
• Kevin Ryan humorously critiques his own habits, admitting, “I hadn't brushed my teeth before bed, which my wife absolutely hated” (03:37).

Their dialogue underscores the comedic tension between maintaining personal hygiene and the laziness that often hinders it.

Relationships and Physical Appearance

A significant portion of the episode focuses on the dynamics of relationships, particularly concerning physical appearance and grooming.

• H. Foley expresses concern about aging and maintaining his looks, stating, “[I'm] getting older... blessed with good genetics” (02:13).
• Kevin Ryan responds with playful sarcasm, comparing H. Foley to “the fat guy from Mr. Deeds” (02:13).

Their back-and-forth highlights the humor in insecurities about aging and attractiveness within relationships.

Living Situations and Health Habits

The conversation shifts to their living environments and associated habits, emphasizing how these contribute to their "garbage" status.

• Kevin Ryan discusses his minimalistic approach to nightly routines, admitting, “I go to bed without brushing my teeth... I take a pee and lay down” (03:29).
• H. Foley contrasts this by detailing his more involved routine, including moisturizing and face washing (06:10).

This segment humorously illustrates the divergence in their lifestyle choices and the resulting perceptions of cleanliness and self-care.

Smoking and Shared Spaces

The hosts delve into the topic of smoking within communal living spaces, sharing personal anecdotes that reveal the less glamorous aspects of their environments.

• H. Foley mentions the pervasive smell of weed in his building, saying, “Somebody smokes weed in our building and they do it in the bathroom and they blow it in the vent” (22:09).
• Kevin Ryan reflects on how these smells evoke negative memories, like “that life” and “shitty house I've ever lived in” (22:24).

Their stories highlight the challenges of maintaining a clean living space amidst shared habits like smoking.

Anecdotes from Listeners

The episode incorporates amusing and relatable stories submitted by listeners, enhancing the show's interactive dynamic.

• Kevin Ryan recounts a TSA checkpoint experience where a woman heavily packed her carry-on with White Castle burgers and loose change, humorously questioning her choices: “Where’d you get that Starbucks?” (32:28).
• H. Foley shares a story about his younger brother stealing a skateboard for his birthday, leading to a chaotic chase and humorous consequences (63:18).

These anecdotes serve to illustrate everyday instances where individuals might be deemed “garbage” in the show's playful context.

Reflections on Family and Traditions

Towards the end of the episode, the hosts reflect on family traditions and their influence on current habits.

• H. Foley discusses his family's grilling traditions, emphasizing his role as the primary cook and the humorous imbalance it creates: “I cook the salmon. We get the salmon or the steak going on the grill” (54:18).
• Kevin Ryan jokes about the competitive nature of their cooking methods, further cementing the comedic theme of familial roles and responsibilities (54:57).

These reflections add depth to their personas, showcasing how family influences shape their comedic outlook on being "garbage."

Conclusion

The episode wraps up with final humorous exchanges and reminders for listeners to engage with their content. The hosts maintain the show's signature comedic style, leaving the audience entertained and eager for the next installment.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• H. Foley: “I've been trying to take better care of myself” (01:31).
• Kevin Ryan: “I go to bed without brushing my teeth... I take a pee and lay down” (03:29).
• H. Foley: “Somebody smokes weed in our building and they do it in the bathroom and they blow it in the vent” (22:09).
• Kevin Ryan: “Where’d you get that Starbucks?” (32:28).
• H. Foley: “I cook the salmon. We get the salmon or the steak going on the grill” (54:18).
• Kevin Ryan: “I have our articles of incorporation somewhere” (51:34).

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Conclusion

"Hot Guys w/ Kippy & Foley" offers a blend of personal stories, humorous critiques, and relatable anecdotes that encapsulate the essence of determining whether one is "garbage" or not. Through candid conversations and playful banter, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley engage listeners in a comedic exploration of everyday habits and lifestyles.

Transcript

[H. Foley]

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are you Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RU Garbage, isn't it? It's our little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a group to be classy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hello.

[H. Foley]

But they're just a big old piece of tr.

[Kevin Ryan]

Rubbish.

[H. Foley]

I'm your host, Sage Foley. Coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition. She's upstairs making sweet love to herself. Mike Hos is coming at you from across the table.

[Kevin Ryan]

Stick and move big.

[H. Foley]

This is what we call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. And he is the CEO of Ru Garbage. He is an international businessman. And let me tell you this right now. Next time you're reaching for a best pal, do yourself a favor.

[Kevin Ryan]

Make it a kepi.

[H. Foley]

Earl Lacroix. Whatever you want. Kevin Ryan, everybody.

[Kevin Ryan]

What up, gang? Shout out to the. Shout out to the homies and the bozos. Thanks for tuning in, as always. Please make sure you rate View subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also full video of now available on Spotify. Over there you go over there. Climbing up the charts over there on Spotify. Obviously, the Route 66 special. If you haven't already seen that, go watch that. Share with a friend. Put it in a group chat, the whole nine yards. Thank you for all the support on that. Live shows are in full swing. Tickets are moving. Get those. Are you Garbage Calm.

[H. Foley]

That's right, baby. I had a question for you before we get started.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hit me.

[H. Foley]

I've been trying to take better care of myself.

[Kevin Ryan]

Alfred. I didn't know we were gonna start off. What, in Foleyville?

[H. Foley]

Therapy on the pills, this, that, the other thing.

[Kevin Ryan]

Those are Suboxone. Okay? Yes, you are taking great strides. If you're not on the Patreon. Foley's going through a. A journey. He's taking great strides in himself.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Had a salad for lunch today.

[Kevin Ryan]

Threw it at me. I was promised a submarine sandwich.

[H. Foley]

Anyway, I've been. I'm getting older. You know what I mean? And though I have a youthful appearance, right, I've been blessed with good genetics.

[Kevin Ryan]

You look like the fat guy from Mr. Deeds that he beats up in the nice restaurant, the opera singer. Pull that. Drop that in right there.

[H. Foley]

What is your. And you're the wrong person.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why is that? What do you mean. I don't get that you're a gross Charles Garudi, But I'll ask you.

[H. Foley]

I'll open it up to Luke as well. He's a young guy, so he's not probably doing this stuff yet. And I never had to do it. You know what I mean? But it's catching up to me. What is your nightly routine before you go to bed? Like, is there a wash? Is there an eye cream? Is there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is there an eye cream? My eyes look like they're falling out of my head. Is there an eye cream? No, I gotta go to the doctor. What do you mean, eye cream?

[H. Foley]

You haven't slept in 12 years.

[Kevin Ryan]

I sometimes I'll do. I got those little eye things, the pads. I'll do that.

[H. Foley]

I've seen you do those before shows. It's weird. Like you're going to a cosplay or something. About to get freaky. Kippy's a furry.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'll do that on the. Yeah. If I got bag. I mean, I get baggy eyes. A couple of jansports under here. Couple of book bags. Yeah. Sometimes if we're on a road and I'm groggy and I'm hungover and I'm.

[H. Foley]

Drinking on a nightly basis.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now just go to bed so bad.

[H. Foley]

Just going. If I do, I take a pee.

[Kevin Ryan]

I lay down. I like to get a fresh water. If I get about it, I like a nice glass of water. I wake up in the middle of the night mummified.

[H. Foley]

Brush your teeth before you go to bed every night?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, every night. Absolutely not.

[H. Foley]

Wow.

[Kevin Ryan]

Does my wife like it? Absolutely not, man.

[H. Foley]

If you don't, the morning breath difference is crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

But sometimes it dries my mouth out too much. And then I'm like, you're brushing your teeth. Pure baking soda. It dries my mouth out too much. And then I sleep real bad. Then I wake up. Wake up, you know, fucking huffing.

[H. Foley]

So, no, you don't wash. You don't do nothing. Moisturizer, nothing like that, huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

No. I'm going to bed.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

I go to bed right now. I take my jacket off.

[H. Foley]

Sleeping in your jeans? I got caught doing that the other day. She freaked out. I got into bed with my cargo pants.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's insane, dude. I would divorce you immediately.

[H. Foley]

Do you're comfy? Sometimes I like it.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, you're just. It's lazy.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes. Okay. Defensive Dan. Nah, I swear to God.

[H. Foley]

They're so worn in perfectly. They're basically sweat. They're almost pajamas at this point because I Wash them so much. They're very thin.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't believe any of that. Didn't lay a gabardine. Yeah, no, I do. I do. I moisturize in the morning. That's what I moisturize.

[H. Foley]

The bird does. Right. She has a whole routine.

[Kevin Ryan]

Don't get me started at this and that and the moistures and the creams and the stuff. Hey, lady, just go to bed. You'll look like me. Wake up to the two of us. Yikes. That's a bad hand to be dealt. No, I'm glad she does. She's a beautiful woman. She does everything. You know, one of us has to be good looking.

[H. Foley]

Sure it ain't me. That's what I say about you and I.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

It's one of the reasons why I'm really starting this journey hard.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

One of us has got to be attractive.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think we know who that is. Luke.

[H. Foley]

So we keep him around.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure, yeah.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I'm gonna work on that for us.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. Well, then we're fucked. Let's see if we can return these cameras and sell the van.

[H. Foley]

And I was thinking about getting rid of the beard, too.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, no, no more hair.

[H. Foley]

Really? Because I don't. The Butcher McCall.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, let me do a touch of gray. That'll be a. That'll be. Let me. Let me go. Let me do a touch of gray.

[H. Foley]

I thought you said you didn't want me to do it.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, because it looks bad. But that's the reason I'd be doing it.

[H. Foley]

You'll do it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'll do it for you.

[H. Foley]

You'll touch my face.

[Kevin Ryan]

I wear gloves. Cut your head off and do it and then do it on a second location.

[H. Foley]

Okay. I've been trying to start doing that a little bit more. Wash my face. Put a little moisturizer on. Brush my teeth before I go to bed.

[Kevin Ryan]

You'll be the hot one in no time. Brush my teeth because I keep waking.

[H. Foley]

Up in the morning and my teeth hurt. And I don't think that's a good thing. Coat of sense at night. I'm all right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did you ever have your hair hurt? What?

[H. Foley]

Yeah, my hair hurt.

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh?

[H. Foley]

My pubes a little bit.

[Kevin Ryan]

They gotta scratch running away from that thing.

[H. Foley]

They're getting wiry.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right. Dude, it's thick. We're gonna get demonetized. Take a Brillo pad down there.

[H. Foley]

Oh, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now, when was the last time you.

[H. Foley]

Cleaned up down there with the buzzer? Before the wedding? Yeah, I trimmed it up, but she had to do it, so it kind of takes it away a little bit.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right. Okay. I mean, you're fucking.

[H. Foley]

I can't ask the girl at the nail place to do it. They'll throw me out again. Go down there with the fucking welding mask.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you do with your hands when that's happening? Picture you with your hands just hanging. You're probably being a dick because you are. You're probably being a real, real bitch.

[H. Foley]

About it, if you really want to know. I got to hold up my belly.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was worse than I pictured. Hurry up, let's take it. I can't hold this all day.

[Luke]

Jesus, this is embarrassing for me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Think she feels. God love her? I had one the other day. I got something I did the other day that made me think of me? No. God, no. Of being a garbage. I've done it because my wife kind of looked at me. Ew. No, I. I asked a guy where he got a coffee. Yeah, right. Hey, where'd you get. But I'm used to doing. No, it was the further conversation. I'm used to doing that and seeing that done with beers. When you're somewhere not at a bar, you're at like an amuse. You're at like a Six Flags and you see a guy walking with a beer, it's natural happenstance for my. My family to be like, hey, buddy, where'd you get that beer? Score them beers right back there.

[H. Foley]

Do you got any more on you?

[Kevin Ryan]

Do they take credit? Okay, yeah, I don't know. Just asking somebody where they got those beers is very trashy.

[H. Foley]

So did you ask somebody about the coffee? Yeah. And then where were you that you didn't know?

[Kevin Ryan]

In the buildings in the mall.

[H. Foley]

You were in the mall?

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh.

[H. Foley]

You saw a guy with a coffee?

[Kevin Ryan]

Saw a guy with a coffee.

[H. Foley]

Did you know the branding of the coffee?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, Starbucks.

[H. Foley]

So you said, hey, where's that Starbucks?

[Kevin Ryan]

I said, hey, man, where'd you get that coffee?

[H. Foley]

You look at Chit Chat? Why don't you look at the map like a normal person?

[Kevin Ryan]

Look at the map.

[H. Foley]

You ask somebody. I would have treated you like an asshole. I got it at Starbucks.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now please excuse me while my wife shaves my pubes. You would have looked at me like that.

[H. Foley]

I didn't do that in the mall.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not anymore. Yeah, no, I said, hey, where'd you get that coffee?

[H. Foley]

What'd he say?

[Kevin Ryan]

That way. I said, okay, great. And the mall I ain't never been to. I don't know if you've been to. You know, you drop me the Oxford Valley Mall in the Chambery mall, get you coffee too sweet. You drop me these weird fucking North Jersey malls or the Palisades. I don't know nothing.

[H. Foley]

I'm surprised you did something like that. Talk to a stranger like that. I mean, that's not your MO.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm a 38 year old business owner.

[H. Foley]

That's not your mouth.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

Hey, where'd you get that?

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't throw him up against the wall, fucking turn him around and start patting them down.

[H. Foley]

Hey, tough guy, we got a lot there.

[Kevin Ryan]

You want to do this the hard way or the easy? What are you talking. I say, hey, man, where'd you get that coffee?

[H. Foley]

What about this? You like that? Uh huh huh.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, but I think it's true.

[H. Foley]

I would have told you to fuck off. I'm tough guy though.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is that what you are? Yeah, tough guy. Excuse me, do you mind tying my shoe for me?

[H. Foley]

Then I'm gonna kick your ass. Oh, God, man. Yeah, that made me think of. I can't remember what it was. I might have told you this, but I dropped something on the street and I was bending over to pick it up and it was taking me a minute and this old lady walked by, she's like, I wouldn't be able to get that either. Old.

[Kevin Ryan]

I want you mind your business. Otherwise I'll give you a dirt Napoleon. Slumpier.

[H. Foley]

Brutal. Which. That's getting better. My flexibility is getting better, My bend down's getting better.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's good.

[H. Foley]

Be attractive in no time.

[Kevin Ryan]

A hot one.

[H. Foley]

A good looking one. What does that make you?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yikes. What? When? I mean, you are. You do have.

[H. Foley]

If we want to get into scripted things and stuff like that, you gotta get somebody good looking, pull this thing off. Something for the poster, something for the kids.

[Kevin Ryan]

So maybe we'll have a movie drop in. What, 2098? What the fuck are you talking about? You. First of all, dude, you have no teeth. Listen, I'm not sitting here saying I'm Brad Pitt. I'm not comparing. I'm just saying if you want to be the hot one, I got two tree critiques. You got a lot of skin tags. Ben Affleck don't have. I go do shirtless sex scenes. Huh? You'd be tagged all tagged up. Look at a goddamn railroad car.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got a lot of skin tag.

[H. Foley]

I'm gonna get him scraped off.

[Kevin Ryan]

And listen out there, I'm not saying I am the attractive one.

[H. Foley]

I'm just saying I told you let me get the veneers. You won't let me get them.

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't say you could. You can do whatever you want.

[H. Foley]

Choppers 1.

[Kevin Ryan]

You ain't got the cash to do it. You got a gray beard, bad teeth, bad skin. Like, it's like blotch.

[H. Foley]

It's yellowy so I get a little color. I'm all right. That's why I'm doing this thing at night. That's why I asked you the creams. Whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

What? Tallow.

[H. Foley]

Beef tallow. Yeah. I bet it is bone marrow.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're dabbing rye bread on your face and eating. And eating it.

[H. Foley]

My own charcuterie board.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. Yeah. I would love for you to be the. I would love for you to get hot. Get it? Be. Become hot.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

I just lost confidence in that. Okay, if we're being honest, I think you lost confidence. I loot and I mean, we're screwed. Yeah. Listen, we're not Hollywood guys, we're YouTube guys.

[H. Foley]

Hollywood, Florida. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

There I go. Clean up down here. Get a tan. Get a speedboat, cigarette boat.

[H. Foley]

That's what we need.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

Cigarette boat?

[Kevin Ryan]

I'd move. Yeah. I'd move to Florida. We could go clean up in Florida.

[H. Foley]

You know what be doing down there? Running away.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why?

[H. Foley]

I don't know. Make moves.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. Yeah, sure.

[H. Foley]

Cocaine cowboys that wouldn't catch us. He behind a cigarette. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's. There's another 400 pound guy in a cigarette boat wearing the shirt he wore in his wedding.

[H. Foley]

Oh, shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who can't bend down after he drops the keys?

[H. Foley]

I got the old lady for that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. All right, listen. I want you to. I want you to become Hollywood. Start fucking.

[H. Foley]

You know, I told you I started with the face shit. That's where you start. Start the face. Work your way down.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

I don't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, you also started with beefs, so it's like beefs. Beef.

[H. Foley]

Beef.

[Kevin Ryan]

You said you use beef tallow.

[H. Foley]

That's good for you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Google that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I.

[H. Foley]

Listen, that's what they're all doing now.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know what it is, but you're going. I think you might just, you know, use these. Use and put it near your.

[H. Foley]

I started pulling too.

[Kevin Ryan]

Pulling oils.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. No, pull it.

[Kevin Ryan]

That stuff don't work.

[H. Foley]

Soaking.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to soaking. What do you mean?

[H. Foley]

That's what. That's what the college kids are doing.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not college. Mormons. Mormons. That's all I bu. They ask those questions and you're too old to be looking at those videos.

[H. Foley]

I saw it on Instagram the other night. You have to have somebody else to sit there with you to move the bed.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

Just fuck what are you doing here?

[H. Foley]

I'd be good at that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Get me in there and go to bed without brushing your teeth. Listen to me, kids. All right, but all that's neither here nor there. You know what I mean?

[H. Foley]

That's what I said. Goddamn family episode. Family program. You're talking about this filth.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh.

[H. Foley]

I asked you what your nightly nighttime routine was. You start talking about dirty shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was you.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Now what the.

[Kevin Ryan]

Read the meeting minutes back.

[H. Foley]

Meeting minutes.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know how we got there.

[H. Foley]

Let's go.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, this one's from the deals. $10, homie. Ever seen your dad cry? I've only seen it three times. One, at his mother's funeral. Rest in peace, Granny C. Two, our dog dying. Rest in peace, buddy. And three, when we watch the movie Armageddon.

[H. Foley]

No, if you're not crying at the end. Armageddon.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's like the Notebook for dads. That is a.

[H. Foley]

That kills me at the.

[Kevin Ryan]

That one that affected me. He's trying to get bad. The whole. He's got to come down and talk to Steven Tyler's daughter.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. You know what gets me is. I mean, obviously when Bruce Willis goes like this and he just accepts it.

[Kevin Ryan]

He just.

[H. Foley]

The flash hits him. But fucking Ben Affleck banging on that window. He was great. Liv Tyler was great. But the guy, the guy who. The wife wouldn't tell the kid that it was his dad. Remember? He was the gambler. He had the curly hair. He was the coach in. Remember the Titans?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. When he gets back down there, that's your daddy and kill me.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was hit the same way with Con Air. But I know that Con Air makes you cry. Not. He's trying to get that teddy bear home to his dog. I had a bad rap.

[H. Foley]

Teddy Bear is all fucked up at the end.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

He's got Cyrus to virus all over it. Buscemi's brains are all over it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dave Chappelle's brains. Dave Chappelle gets.

[H. Foley]

He does die. Yeah. He dies early.

[Kevin Ryan]

Gets up in a wheels.

[H. Foley]

It gets thrown out, right. He falls.

[Kevin Ryan]

Freeze. They found them frozen and thrown. They write a note on him or something. I did him dirty, if you ask me. Greatest comedian of all time. Throw him out a goddamn window. Yeah. That doesn't get me. But I mean, I remember being like. Emotionally, I was like, what year did Con air come out?

[Luke]

97 or something.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's early. It had to be earlier.

[H. Foley]

93.

[Kevin Ryan]

94.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, 93. 94.

[Luke]

Maybe 97.

[Kevin Ryan]

Day.

[H. Foley]

Fuck out of what?

[Kevin Ryan]

What did it do in the box office. That killed it.

[Luke]

224, 224 million.

[H. Foley]

Back then that's like 8 billion box office.

[Luke]

224 budget was 75 million.

[H. Foley]

That's not bad. That's a nice return for the studio.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's that have on Rotten Tomatoes 58?

[H. Foley]

They don't fucking know that's bought and sold.

[Luke]

That rock Google users is 84.

[Kevin Ryan]

It is mostly me. Kevin1 Kevin2 Kip simpler hair color.

[H. Foley]

I'm getting rid of my grays.

[Kevin Ryan]

You've been saying that for a while.

[H. Foley]

I'm going hot pink baby. Let's have a little fun with this with simpler hair color. Gang. It's official. I see grays every time I look in the mirror. I want to cover them up. But home hair dye kits are for the birds. It's a mess. And you go to the salon. I mean forget about it.

[Kevin Ryan]

They bang you out.

[H. Foley]

They bang you out over there. I gotta sit there for three hours. I gotta hear what this one's doing and that one's doing. Gang. If you want to color your hair, simpler hair color is the way to go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes. Simple hair color was started by Sneh Hall Patel and Mitch Brown, two men who appreciate better dyeing options for hair and their beards. They endured the mess of home dye kits and the harsh ingredients of salons for years and they developed their own safer, simpler hair dye for men. Simple hair color. There's no need to buy a separate beard hair touch up product. A single can of simple, simpler hair color will have them covered all.

[H. Foley]

Whoo.

[Kevin Ryan]

Plus, one can of simple hair color provides as many uses up to four boxes of drugstore hair dye. Saving money. Daddy. Oh.

[H. Foley]

Doing the beard.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Plus simpler hair offers free shipping and free returns. So you can try simpler hair color risk free. Right? Here's the turkey. Say goodbye to graze the easy way with simpler hair color. Head to simplerhaircolor.com ayg Use the code ayg for 10% off your first order. Once again, simplerhaircolor.com ayg for 10% off. Use the code. Promo code. Tell them the boy sent you. Ayg. We love yous. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Let's talk about bombas.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to bombas dog the best.

[H. Foley]

Socks that you're ever going to wear. And here's the turkey. We got them for all occasions athletic. You got a wedding coming up this spring. You never have nice socks.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[H. Foley]

You know what I mean? That's always the. You got a nice wedding coming up or you got a funeral or something. Like that or graduation. And you're like, ah, shit, I forgot about socks. And you're using some old pair of socks in the back of your drawer. Get your bumpers, baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know.

[H. Foley]

Get ready to rock and roll.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I caught. We did a Patreon episode. I had my tootsies out. I got a lot of heat for having holes in my socks. My wife saw the comments, was quite upset, ordered a bunch of Bombas.

[H. Foley]

Baby, should have smelled them.

[Kevin Ryan]

They got head to toe comfort that goes. You get spring socks, you get fresh white T shirts, waterproof slides. They got pairs. Buttery soft underwear. Whatever you need, Bombas has you. Best of all, for every comfy pair of socks you purchase, Bombas donates a comfy pair to someone facing homelessness. Socks are like one of the most requested things in homeless shelters. And Bombas is helping out.

[H. Foley]

Look at that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Bombus is going international. Enjoy. Worldwide shipping to over 200 countries.

[H. Foley]

God damn you going international.

[Kevin Ryan]

Head over to bombas.com ayg use the code ayg for 20 off your first purchase. That. That's Bombas. B O M b a s yg code ayg. 20% off. Anyone to shake a stick at 20% off your first purchase. Bombers.com/ayg code ayg doing.

[H. Foley]

Yes. My dad. My dad was on the low and emotional guy. Like I would see him tear up watching stuff, but he, you know, usually I'm something in my eye or whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't think I've ever seen my dad cry. Seeing him hit a man.

[H. Foley]

Me, yeah, definitely the natural got him for sure. I remember the natural getting them when his dad died. I remember him being sad, but not. I don't remember seeing him cry. And then we had a. We had a. A sudden situated death in the family that everybody got it. That was the first time I saw everybody cry. And I was too young for it. It fucking freaked me out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Seemed to bounce back from it.

[H. Foley]

Wasn't no Michael Bay movie.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yikes.

[H. Foley]

But that's when Bay hit it. That's when the little flares and all that stuff were perfect.

[Kevin Ryan]

What are we talking about?

[H. Foley]

Armageddon.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. It did that good.

[Kevin Ryan]

He went in a big circle and came back there. Nine of your family members died and you brought it back to fucking the getden. Shout out to it. I didn't know where we were. He's like. And then he died. She died. Quick one. And you had a little kid died inside. I d. What are you talking about? It's like reading the goddamn obituary with you. Is it garbage? If you can smell that somebody smokes inside their house from outside their house, That's Eaterville.

[H. Foley]

Holy shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's pretty good. We have that in our apartment. There's the guy on our first floor. He's one of the supers.

[H. Foley]

He.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's an indoor sig house. Not all day he goes out like, but I think morning and night.

[H. Foley]

He's ripping.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's Especially Nicole.

[H. Foley]

Well, you could smell it walking.

[Kevin Ryan]

You open the door, boom.

[H. Foley]

Wow.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's also someone below me or somewhere. I can't. I can't peg it.

[H. Foley]

I like it a little.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're cranking heaters, and you walk into one corner of the living room and you're like, who?

[H. Foley]

I don't mind it that night. I tell you what, I don't know if it's like a Pavlovian thing. Is that the right word?

[Kevin Ryan]

I. You need to continue on the definition.

[H. Foley]

Smelling a little bit of weed is comforting because somebody smokes weed in our building and they do it in the bathroom and they blow it in the vent.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it's just so, like.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I kind of like if mixes in with the air freshener and all that stuff makes it cozy in there. I don't know why.

[Kevin Ryan]

It just reminds me about that life, though.

[H. Foley]

You don't smoke. You smoke the chronic.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. I forgot I was Talking to fucking Dr. Dre over here in exhibit I.

[H. Foley]

Smoke bags, dog.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then immediately freak out. I shouldn't have done that.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I fucking get his shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I. It reminds me of every, like, shitty house I've ever lived in. And it makes me sad.

[H. Foley]

I'll give you that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm just like, ah. There's a guy smoking a blunt on the couch right now. And I'm like, I don't. That I'm sleeping on.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that smell. I didn't like that burnt blunt smell at your. At the weed dealer's place.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Bad couch, bad TV's on.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that's. Whatever it reminds me of.

[H. Foley]

Like hanging out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Someone finding a couch in the. Someone's like, being thrown out, and I'm spending too much time on it. You know what I mean? Sweating and it's making my. The back of my legs itch. It's a very specific couch. I'm talking. All right, this one's from Smashing Blumpkins.

[H. Foley]

Very nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

This just says, my buddy says supper instead of dinner.

[H. Foley]

We've talked about.

[Kevin Ryan]

He also holds his utensils with a clenched fish. Like the angry Arthur meme.

[H. Foley]

That's how you Eat supper.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's. That's like. There's no. There's no elegance. There's no refinedness. That's like manual labor.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, we've talked about this a little bit because I asked you about this. Not that long. About beer and supper. Supper. And somebody hit me up about this.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was very divisive, if I do recall.

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Some were saying you were wrong. Some were saying you were right. I don't know.

[H. Foley]

My understanding of it is Sunday. Supper is technically lunchtime. That's how they did it in the old days is that the big meal of the day on Sunday would be around 2 or 3 o'clock. Right. What do you have on that history of supper?

[Luke]

Supper is typically described as a lighter, more informal meal eaten at home, while dinner often implies a larger, more formal meal.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hmm.

[H. Foley]

That's not the dirtbag dictionary.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Check Urban Dictionary.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, Yeah. I mean, that's trash. Calling it supper's trash, for sure.

[Luke]

Dinner sometimes the midday meal and supper being the evening meal.

[H. Foley]

No shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think that's where you were wrong. People were saying, okay, huh.

[H. Foley]

Like a nice supper. Aunt Mary Catherine used to throw out a nice supper on Sunday. A little vegetable stew. God damn, that was good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Supper is the evening meal. Dinner doesn't refer to a specific time, yet it always remains the main meal of the day.

[H. Foley]

Supper always had plain white bread with soft butter. Dipping it in your soup. That's.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I don't know. I mean, we've never. That's never been anything used for us. All right. This one's just funny. This is from blimp and grind. $10, homie. Never had one red. You've ever had to use someone else's spare tire? Dude, you are jam.

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

The fuck up.

[H. Foley]

My mom did.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

At that point we'd always just go buy a used tire.

[H. Foley]

Now there was. There was a. There was a run there where Patty was like a mechanic. We'd be going to junkyards to get. And I don't even like if you really went back. She didn't need to be doing this. I don't think I could be wrong. But like, we would go to.

[Kevin Ryan]

She.

[H. Foley]

If like a tail light went out, she would go to a junkyard and get the part and we would fucking. She would finagle it in there and put it in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would argue this is when, like, things are way cheaper now and readily available.

[H. Foley]

Right.

[Kevin Ryan]

You'd have to like order it. Hey, the ports not coming in for five days. You got a. Whatever, whatever. And shipping and ambulance I specifically remember.

[H. Foley]

Going to like, like, well, Mike has a tire. We'll go and get that. And going to get the tire in the other car and throwing a tire into the back into the trunk of a car. You just feel like a dirt bag.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've done that.

[H. Foley]

And you got that dirt all over you, the soot.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've done that. Been like, this is just gonna live in here for who knows. 2. I'm never taking this out. At one point I had a tree stump and a tire back there.

[H. Foley]

A tree stump?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, we were making an end table or something right when I started dating my wife. And this is like not that long ago.

[H. Foley]

What?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I opened the trunk. Akash had to put something in there and he's like, why do you have lumber and a tire? Like I like it was like, wait.

[H. Foley]

Who was gonna make the.

[Kevin Ryan]

We had made one. So you and your wife. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Where's that now?

[Kevin Ryan]

Fire pit or something. We got rid of it when we moved some apartments.

[H. Foley]

Made an end.

[Kevin Ryan]

She's my wife. Likes making stuff.

[H. Foley]

Where'd you get the tree stump?

[Kevin Ryan]

My brother in law's house. I've never told you this story. So there was a thing with like would take a tree stump, see if you can find tree stump end table or nightstand or something.

[Luke]

You were playing stump.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know what that is.

[Luke]

You have a hammer and you flip it and then you try it. You have your own nail.

[Kevin Ryan]

What if me and my wife in a frat party.

[Luke]

It's a drinking game.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. No playing stump. That does look like a fun game.

[H. Foley]

I see what you're talking.

[Kevin Ryan]

You like if you take like a big, like a tr. Like a trunk cut like a 6 inch or 4 inch slice off of it, still has the bark. You coat it with something and then you put legs on it. And that was like our end table. Yeah, we put legs on it.

[H. Foley]

Where'd you get the legs?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a good question. IKEA probably.

[H. Foley]

Why don't you just leave it? Why don't you just make the bottom smooth and have the stump.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey guy, I don't fucking know. What do you mean? Why are you breaking my balls?

[H. Foley]

This is six years ago making my end table.

[Kevin Ryan]

What? Nobody. I. I don't want to make your end. Yeah, it was a different take on the big chunk one. Also I live at the time, lives in a five floor walk up. I ain't walking up with a fucking. A three foot trunk tree trunk saving 150. Is that what they go for about.

[Luke]

Yeah, cheaper ones, but should be Selling.

[Kevin Ryan]

Them now you're on my side here a little bit. But I had a second one of those in the trunk still. We only made the one we didn't have enough space for. Dude, I only made the one and it lived in my. Lived in the Montego trunk for four or five years.

[H. Foley]

Vines growing out of it.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's a frog on it. I didn't take it out of my car until I sold my. Until I turned my. My car in as a junker.

[H. Foley]

Probably good for the snow, though.

[Kevin Ryan]

Whatever happened to that car? Sure, yeah.

[H. Foley]

My dad used to do that. I remember him putting like bags of Quikrete in the trunk if it was snowing out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, for sure. You gotta wait. I was in my mom's Bravada and I got a flat tire on the Newtown bypass. And I couldn't for the life of me find the spare tire. They were either. All the cars I ever had was like the trunk under the carpet of the trunk wasn't there.

[H. Foley]

Where was it?

[Kevin Ryan]

It was an suv. So I'm like, oh, it's in the back. Like in the.

[H. Foley]

Was it underneath?

[Kevin Ryan]

It was underneath.

[H. Foley]

And I said, fuck that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I have. Dude, I didn't know.

[H. Foley]

What are you in the army?

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't know where it was. And I'm like, ma, you ain't got no fucking. You ain't got no spare tire.

[H. Foley]

That's crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

And it was under. You had to like get under that. I lay on the side of the bypass. I remember I just got. I just went to Foot Locker and spent my whole paycheck on Nike. No fucking Jordan shorts. Like actual Jordan shorts. Because I always used to get the bullshit Foot Locker brand. And they.

[H. Foley]

Were you wearing them? Yeah, we wear shorts at the store.

[Kevin Ryan]

It might have. I wasn't on my way home. It was probably like a day or two later. I had a pair of black and white basketball. Dude, you couldn't tell me shit pockets and everything because I used to use the Footlocker brand and those things stunk. Today you roll in a pair. Your end ones are very of that. They just stink.

[H. Foley]

I got a couple of dick store brand.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. And I had a brand new athletica. Yeah. I spent all of my money on those shorts. A pair of slides. Like Nike slides and new socks because we rock socks with them back in the day. And man, I had to get off on the side. I fucked up all the clothes. I remember ripping the slides as I was crawling out from under the car. I was so pissed.

[H. Foley]

I've done that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can't have Hot sh. I can never have hot shit. I'm not going to be the hot guy. I can't dress right.

[H. Foley]

Blow it out.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're our only hope.

[H. Foley]

Blow it out of flip flop. It's a tough catching a flat tire and no spare for that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember one time one cracked. I think a pair of Adidas or something cracked and I tried super gluing it. That didn't hold for got your foot stuck in there. God. Stunk so bad.

[H. Foley]

I got a tire. I got a tire over at the house. My one.

[Kevin Ryan]

But they all don't all fit. Like they're not just interchangeable like the rim, I guess the tot. No, but everything's different, right?

[H. Foley]

Aren't donuts the same?

[Kevin Ryan]

I would argue I don't know that that's something that's above. I don't even know where. That's above my pay grade.

[H. Foley]

There is no tougher look than the donut.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure as I'm a big donut guy.

[H. Foley]

How long can you ride on a donut?

[Luke]

All donuts are not the same.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, no kidding. You ain't telling me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Couple of crawlers. Yeah, I've always pushed it, you know. Hey, you can do 50 miles at 50 miles or under 50 miles an hour. Yeah. I just always, always I've put air in a donut. Fill it up a little bit. Little dabble. Do you riding. I can riding on the rims on this donuts. All right. This one's just funny. This one too. He's tummy tuck. Is it garbage that every time I see anything Dale Earnhardt related, I can't stop from saying myself God needed a driver. Ah, that is some dirt bag. All right. That's just great. So a bit of a story. This is from Chad. Never have one read. I was traveling for work, leaving the Milwaukee airport and flying back to Nashville. 10 a key.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

In line at the TSA checkpoint and the lady in front of me had her carry on bag inspected. When asked why it was so heavy, she said it's full of loose change in White Castles. She said she wasn't going to eat the White Castle at the airport because they don't have White Castle in her hometown and she was bringing them back for her husband and her kids. She said all the loose change was because she visited Milwaukee for a funeral and the deceased family member left her all the loose change. The bag was so heavy the TSA agent had to lift it with two hands.

[H. Foley]

That's a lot of burgers.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a lot of change. Damn.

[H. Foley]

You got the loose change.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why don't you hit a coin star, turn that into bills.

[H. Foley]

How is it? Can that be? Is that how it is?

[Kevin Ryan]

What they give you all the loose change? He figured I'd cut you a checker. Yeah, that's crazy, dude. Also, why would you.

[H. Foley]

For Tina change flaming on the counter at a lawyer. Mention the lawyer. What kind of lawyer you got doing at will?

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude, at no point. Listen, I've done a lot of bozo stuff. At no point would I ever be like, I'm going to flood. Do you imagine getting that in the overhead car? You can't. That's. You got to get that up over your head. Tiny little girl. All them burgers and shit.

[H. Foley]

I respect the bringing the white castles back. That's nice. And those are okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

That feels like it should stay in like a school bag or a purse or so that doesn't go in the luggage. I agree with the money. Those things are tastes like pennies. All them loose burgers and change.

[H. Foley]

Get a nickel in there. But I don't mind that move because you don't got to heat them up. If it's a couple hours flight you get back, you can have them, you know, hey, and you're going to be the hot one.

[Kevin Ryan]

Eating burgers that been on a plane.

[H. Foley]

Is crazy with pennies in them, you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Know, burgers to dsa. At no point would I ever say, let's fly all this change home. I'd go like, okay, thank you. Thank you. And I'm sorry for your. Well, I mean also, how much change is a suitcase full of change?

[H. Foley]

I don't know if it was heavy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Couple hundred bucks, maybe more for its quarters.

[H. Foley]

Dude could be looking at a couple of G's. No. Sure.

[Luke]

If it's a checked bag.

[H. Foley]

Checked bag's different.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, this was.

[H. Foley]

No, you said you had to pick it up with two hands. So that's maybe £50 worth of change. That's a lot of change. Pennies. You're fucked.

[Kevin Ryan]

Say what? 50 pounds of loose change is quarters. No, not quarter. If you would have said quarters.

[H. Foley]

50 cent piece, gold bar.

[Luke]

50 pounds of loose change would be worth $600 to $800.

[H. Foley]

That's not bad.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not a couple grand. Well, not well, you said it was not a couple grand. Also, go hit the coin star. It's already in the. Just drag it. Drag bag. Shout to drag bag right to it. Bada bing, bada boom, you're done. So yeah, no way would I fly with the change. Burgers set burgers or whatever. I mean that's crazy to me too.

[H. Foley]

But now if you'd hit it like youe know, they don't have it in your hometown, you wouldn't love that. That's. You're gonna go that goes back to the Abe's hot dog things. My parents went up to Wilkes Barre.

[Kevin Ryan]

And they came home, they'd bring that's different. That's a 90 minute drive to our flight, airport, get the air train, cab, rental car. Yeah, I mean, I see what you're saying. Listen, fries.

[H. Foley]

That's ridiculous. I'll give you that.

[Kevin Ryan]

But sodas aren't gonna be cold. That ice is gonna be Mel.

[H. Foley]

Milkshakes are all mixed in.

[Kevin Ryan]

This one's from Matthew C. Ten dollar Bozo as a garbage. And I have multiple condiments on my nightstand. I wish I could attach a photo. It's bad.

[H. Foley]

God damn it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I I have a very adverse reaction to this because for a minute I slept near a Frank's Red Hot. That was wet and sriracha. That was way too close to me.

[H. Foley]

That was on a coffee table though.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[H. Foley]

Why would you have that, Mike?

[Kevin Ryan]

In my college room in my apartment.

[H. Foley]

Okay. That's different. On the coffee table, we ask people, do you have any hot sauce on your coffee table? That's all right, Al.

[Kevin Ryan]

It should be in the kitchen. Anything that should live in the kitchen should live in the kitchen in your bedroom. You don't know this setup. Maybe he lives with like three roommates and it's like, hey, it's just easier to keep there.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. You know, Crushes him in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was kind of my thing. I was like. I was also doing a lot of eating in there. We had lost the middle to the mice. Flip's room was on one end, mine was on the other. And the no Man's land got a little hairy. We're doing a lot of eating. The chicken, cheesesteaks and French fries.

[H. Foley]

In my room, the kingdom had changed hands.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh. And I would keep it in hand. I just like I still saw smoking in there and smoking in bed. A bed was like your couch. Essentially.

[H. Foley]

A bottle of ketchup in there probably.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I just remember being like I just remember laying next to a full ashtray and a Frank's Red Hot or something and just being like, this ain't I can't do this forever. I gotta make some changes.

[H. Foley]

This ain't it.

[Kevin Ryan]

This ain't it. And I remember there was a change cup that had every piece of silver dug out of it. It's just like it was a clear it was A clear solo cup full of pennies stuck.

[H. Foley]

Pennies, Pennies stuck together.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, man. Turning green. Look, they had toothpaste on him and stuff.

[H. Foley]

Kept me tell you about Pretty Litter.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to Pretty Litter.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, shout out to Pretty. You're not a kitty cat man. Uncle Hank, I'm a kitty cat.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm a dog man.

[H. Foley]

You're dog man. We're talking about Pretty Litter for nice kitty cats. I know we got a lot of cat people out there. Listen, I'm telling you right now. Look at me shooting you straight. I've used all the different kind of litter, all right?

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you prefer to be in.

[H. Foley]

Big Guy when I'm taking a dump? Listen, Pretty Litter is the best. They became. Let me tell you my Pretty Litter story. They became a sponsor. They sent us a bag. I brought it home. I told the bird, hey, I got this new thing, Pretty Litter. Sure. She's like, oh, my God. Pretty Litter. I know about it. Get it in there. It lasts long. It's not heavy. If there's something going on with the cat, the crystals tell you. If the cat's got a urinary tract infection, the crystals are going to turn color. That way you can say, hey, it's time to take the cat to the vet and see what's going on. It smells great. There's not a lot of dust. It's absolutely fantastic. It is now the only kitty litter that we use.

[Kevin Ryan]

The creme de la creme.

[H. Foley]

I'm buying it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hear that? Pretty Litter? Pretty Litter helps keep the big man's house smelling fresh and clean. I've been over there. I didn't even know he had a cat. Got 12 goddamn pet shop in there. Try and. You'll love it. Go to pretty litter.com garbage to save 20% off your first order and you get a free cat toy. That ain't too shabby. That's PrettyLittleitter.com garbage to save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy one more time. PrettyLittleitter.com garbage terms and conditions apply. See the site for details.

[H. Foley]

Kip, you know, five hour energy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, I know.

[H. Foley]

I'm not, like, out one hour energy, baby. We're talking about a tiny bottle. Big energy gang. Spring is coming. You're gonna need that little extra pep in your step as the sun stays out a little longer. One hour energy is the trick, baby. Get on it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. If you're like US Daylight Savings hit you pretty hard, you wake up, I don't know what day it is. Sometimes. So, worst day of the year. And now the one Hour Energy shot from five Hour Energy. It won't. It will help you out. Whether it's a late night project or just powering through you. You're gonna need it. We're on the road. I need a little. Little kick in the pants. Boom. One Hour Energy. That's how it's done. The secret weapon is the one Energy one Hour Energy shot. When we're on the road, I make sure I have my secret weapon handy. And that's the one Hour Energy shot, baby. It really gets me over those little humps instead of doing coffee. It's not the same as five Hour Energy that you already know. This one is specifically designed for that little extra boost. This is a targeted boost when you need it the most. It is quick and effective energy coming at you high and tight. Provides a feeling of alertness and energy. Helps you fight back against a lost hour during daylight savings time. Keep one in your gym bag, your desk, your car. That's what I do. It's so convenient. You can have it on hand. Check out one hour energy shot and conquer your day. Visit 5hourenergy.com to find a retailer near you and try the limited time one Hour Energy shot. One less hour in the day. Challenge accepted.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Why do they do that? Turn green? It's like doing the bottom of the ocean or something.

[Kevin Ryan]

Think it's patina.

[H. Foley]

Patina?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Who's that girl?

[Kevin Ryan]

I went to school. Patina is the Liberty Bell. That's patina or the Statue of Liberty. The Liberty Bell. There's green. That's copper. Copper's copper color.

[H. Foley]

Oh, that's what that would be if you took it is. No, some brass out of the Statue.

[Kevin Ryan]

Of Liberty, hit it with some clr.

[H. Foley]

It would turn copper color.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, in theory, yeah.

[H. Foley]

Why don't they do that?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't think you can.

[H. Foley]

Why not?

[Kevin Ryan]

What do I look like? I work at Kruger Smoothing Industrial sanding. I don't fucking know.

[H. Foley]

They should do that. That'd be nice. That'd be good for the city.

[Kevin Ryan]

Look into why they don't do it. They probably could never finish it before it started turning green again. The other side would turn green. Okay, first of all, I could be completely wrong. I'm guessing also that's been on there for like fucking 300 years. I don't think you can take that off. Thick coat. Yeah, it's on there, but it's not green. It's copper underneath, not under. I mean, that is copper.

[H. Foley]

The Statue of Liberty is made of copper? Is that what you're telling me, Luke?

[Kevin Ryan]

It's not what I'm telling you. Yeah. Yeah, it is.

[Luke]

And the green patina actually protects the copper from further erosion. So that's why they leave it.

[H. Foley]

All right. Leave it. Call it off, boys.

[Kevin Ryan]

Kruger. You didn't know it was copper.

[H. Foley]

I didn't know what it was. Metal of some kind of steel. I didn't know it was copper. I didn't know. So you're telling me that when they built that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Stop saying like. You're telling me like.

[H. Foley]

I'm like when they. So when they built that, it was copper color. It looked like a big penny.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, I believe a couple of.

[H. Foley]

Weeks until it rained or something.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, even still.

[H. Foley]

What do you mean, even still?

[Kevin Ryan]

I think if you leave a piece of copper out in the rains, it doesn't immediately turn green like that.

[H. Foley]

So it took a while.

[Kevin Ryan]

I always thought it was mint chocolate chip. Take a scoop of that. Scoop of freedom, baby.

[H. Foley]

I remember when Orbit had that. It was like fresh mint or something. It was like mint chocolate. Or maybe it was mint chocolate chip. It was a mint chip gum. For a little while.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got nothing.

[H. Foley]

It was hot.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't think it was that hot. Sounds gross.

[H. Foley]

Rocky road gum.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you got?

[Luke]

Took about 30 years, really, to go green.

[H. Foley]

Get the fuck out of here.

[Kevin Ryan]

Go, Birds, man.

[H. Foley]

That's something I'd like to see.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean?

[H. Foley]

I don't know. Go back and see it in its original color. Be pretty cool.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. Hey, I could do that for you.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, it's all fake. Shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

What was the closest you've ever been to the Statue of Liberty? Houston Street.

[H. Foley]

I don't know. The Staten island ferry.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. I ain't been over there.

[Kevin Ryan]

The attitude.

[H. Foley]

What, you work there. What's the closest you've been, dickhead? I don't like this.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean?

[H. Foley]

And I like mint gum. And it was hot. And it was hot when a chick had it. And their breath smelled like mint chocolate chip. A little bit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. It turned you on, huh, fatty?

[H. Foley]

Yeah. It wasn't chocolate chip.

[Kevin Ryan]

You want to be the hot.

[H. Foley]

It was like fresh mint or something. Or mint chip. That's something. She was hot, though.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm sure she was bullshit.

[H. Foley]

Trying to do a goddamn show a little patina. I'm sorry. I think it'd be cool to see that in its original form.

[Kevin Ryan]

I never said it wasn't. I asked how close to the Statue of Liberty was, and for some reason that offended you. Jesus, Christ. How you done? I got Ryan texting. Ryan, shut up. This text to be facts about the Statue of Liberty.

[H. Foley]

All right.

[Luke]

How many condiment bottles are too many? If you're living in that studio setup.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean studio. You still have a kitchen of some.

[Luke]

True, but what on the dorm? Dorm style setup.

[H. Foley]

Dorms out the window.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dorm. No, it should be next to the bed, though. Like you at least go. You eat. And then when you're living in tight quarters like that, you have to be on. It's like living in jail. You got to be on top of it. You got to go, okay, eat, and then I'll sit in my bed and eat. But then that stuff goes over there.

[H. Foley]

No, a dorm. The way you have it set up, you have the. You have your little kitchen area.

[Kevin Ryan]

Please tell me guy who got thrown out of college.

[H. Foley]

Well, I was in the dorm for a couple of years. One year.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, there we go. Three months.

[H. Foley]

Not one year. I was in there for first year. You have your college and you have your milk crates and you put all your stuff over there in the area. You know that next to the bed.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, I just said that. You said no. Let me tell you.

[H. Foley]

I thought you were saying no.

[Kevin Ryan]

You can eat in your bed and have it next to you while you're doing that. But then at the end of, when you're done, you clean up. Yeah. Put everything back. That's big when you're coming in, broads.

[H. Foley]

Sure get that hot sauce in your eyes.

[Kevin Ryan]

That kid that use my computer, who we saw, by the way.

[H. Foley]

Eagles game.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's see. This is from Jaron. Damn near day one, homie. Shout out to you.

[H. Foley]

There we go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Never had one read. You ever get dessert with McDonald's breakfast? We call it the fat boy speedball.

[H. Foley]

What are we talking about here?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know what kind of you would do.

[H. Foley]

I don't listen the way I would do it. If you want to know.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do they have. Just a general question. What kind of desserts are they serving at that time?

[H. Foley]

They have pastries in the morning.

[Kevin Ryan]

Don't say pastries like it's a French fucking padiciel.

[H. Foley]

They have cinnamon rolls, maybe an apple fritter. You might be able to get the pies then to the apple pies or the confetti pies or birthday pies. And they're starting to dabble into the. They're taking a cue from Popeyes. Popeyes has the fruit and cream pies.

[Kevin Ryan]

Cream pies. It'll Be strawberry.

[H. Foley]

Strawberry and like a Philadelphia cream cheese line. They're delicious. But what I would consider dessert. There would be in the morning. A Whopper is the McGriddles. There would always be a McGriddle. Whatever I got. There would be a sausage, egg and cheese McGriddle for afterwards. That would be dessert.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's going to make me sick.

[H. Foley]

Hey, your question.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it wasn't.

[Luke]

Hotcakes are pretty big.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. That's not dessert, though. That McGriddle cake is. That's got the cinnamon, shit, maple, whatever running through it. They should just sell those.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right. Hey. Hey. We're just talking about trying to get into Hollywood.

[H. Foley]

That's old. You brought it up. That's old stuff. That's the old man. I don't do that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. Let's see here. This was.

[H. Foley]

You guys want to get some.

[Kevin Ryan]

This one's new to me and I like a nice scam. This is from KJ Peterman. Jammed up tip. If you get a check, you can take a picture on the app which will free $200 for you. Like say you get a check for a thousand bucks.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Most banks will free on the good credit of when you put it, when.

[H. Foley]

You deposit into your thing.

[Kevin Ryan]

So you deposit at night? Yes.

[H. Foley]

You know, there's $200 is available immediately. The rest is available the next 24.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hours or 40, whatever. But if I say Friday night, that might not hit though Tuesday morning.

[H. Foley]

Right, Right.

[Kevin Ryan]

So you get a check, you can take a picture with the app and deposit it, which will give you $200.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Then you can go to an ATM and they'll give you another $200 till the check clears.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that's, I think check fraud, huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't say that. I don't know why this guy's fucking throwing shit.

[H. Foley]

Double dipping.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I didn't. I forgot. I didn't think it went through on my phone. There you go. I'm out. I'm a free man.

[H. Foley]

Just come Monday.

[Kevin Ryan]

They'll just go, oh, it's double deposited. But you got your. You got 400 beans. I don't think that's illegal.

[H. Foley]

The check can cover it. As long as the check can cover what you.

[Kevin Ryan]

As long as you don't say it's a thousand dollars. As long as you don't spend those $2,000. You just spend the 400. Wake up in the morning, wash your hands. Still 600 bucks.

[H. Foley]

Take it. Hey, I double deposited this by accident.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's something I would say for when you're really in A jam and not just use it or two. Because you probably only get one or two of them a year till they fuck you up. They go, listen, we're not fucking idiots over here.

[H. Foley]

I remember like when I first started doing that stuff, how generous they were with the, like, how like the first couple of times you could really overdraft and then they'd slam you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I remember to having like, you know, like 20 something over. I just got fucked and I called and complained. They're like, we'll take three away. And I remember like the despair. My account was like negative 1500 or something like that. And I remember like thinking, she's like, okay, I just talked to my manager. I'm like, who? Here we go. Get me back to zero. Yeah, you're at neg. You know, we'll. We'll clear three of the 15. I'm still, I'm still, you know, sitting negative $788 or something.

[H. Foley]

Jamoke, all red, text everywhere.

[Kevin Ryan]

Standing on 59th and park, just like cranking heaters. Couldn't get lunch. I had no cash on me.

[H. Foley]

I need a check.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember I found a ten dollar bill right when I. It was nuts. I was going into like a fucking multi, multi million dollar law firm. I like couldn't eat lunch. I'd hit up Denise. She'd be good for maybe 20. That probably 20 bucks. You might as well give me a handgun if I can kill myself.

[H. Foley]

You're doing shooters at Coffee Creamers.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, we did have like some stuff stocked in the kitchen. Yeah, you did not food. Maybe a couple of nuts or something like that. They were for high rolling clients that would come and got the cashews. I drink a lot of orange juice. They had orange juice and milk in there. And I would crush that stuff. I remember somebody. That's a lot of you eating sugar packets. I'm all charged up.

[H. Foley]

Blood sugars through the roof.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm chain smoking outside. My teeth are chattering.

[H. Foley]

That's a lot of biting. Never got sick though.

[Kevin Ryan]

Having called out. Oh, man. All right, talk about.

[H. Foley]

I like that. That seems borderline.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, don't. Yeah, you don't. Can't get you a mistake. Hey, I made a mistake. I didn't think it went through on my phone. It wasn't registered and they can't prove that.

[H. Foley]

Took the 200 out though. I thought that was in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

I thought it cleared. I didn't know. I thought I had 200 more than that.

[H. Foley]

Just put it to the test. No, write me a check.

[Kevin Ryan]

We don't Have a checkbook?

[H. Foley]

We don't. An operation you run in here.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

We don't have a company checkbook.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't have one. Do you? I don't have one. I think we might have. No.

[H. Foley]

You don't have one of those big books where you write checks with the.

[Kevin Ryan]

Things I'd be writing checks to. Oh, well, yeah. Just no pizza guy. I have our articles of incorporation somewhere. I think that much got thrown out recently. We gotta get somebody on top of it.

[H. Foley]

Am I on the masthead?

[Kevin Ryan]

You're listed somewhere. We did this where I lied to you and said you weren't, but you're listed somewhere nice. I think it's a 99. One split we got going on.

[H. Foley]

Checks are all of my name.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right. This is from Helia. How classy or trashy it is to roll the corn on the cob right under the communal stick of butter. This is how my family did it growing up. My boyfriend was horrified when I invited him over for dinner.

[H. Foley]

No, fuck that guy. That's the way to do it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think you would have. It's your own stick for the corn on the cob.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

Everybody's got a stick of butter?

[Kevin Ryan]

No. Hey, guy, why. Why are you so competitive? No, relax. Anytime food or all purpose flour comes up, you get all defensive. You have a stick just for the corn on the cob?

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not for like, hey. With crumbs in it from the.

[H. Foley]

I apologize, guys.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Jesus. Why don't you go get a McGriddle and settle the down? Because you're not going to be hot.

[H. Foley]

No, of course. Yeah. Okay. So you make the corn on the cob, which always came out later.

[Kevin Ryan]

You go to the farm.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

No shit. You make it.

[H. Foley]

Which was always. My mom never timed that out. Right the corner. I was already done. And then she's like, the corn on the cob's ready. That was always like after you had your regular meal, kind of.

[Kevin Ryan]

See that? Kind of.

[H. Foley]

You know what I'm saying?

[Kevin Ryan]

Maybe it's a dance.

[H. Foley]

Your boiling water, you dumb broad. Get it? Get the timing right.

[Kevin Ryan]

You really love your mother, huh?

[H. Foley]

I love. Hey, Patty.

[Kevin Ryan]

I love you, you dumb.

[H. Foley]

But it was always a couple minutes after.

[Kevin Ryan]

They got a lot going on. Cooking for your Fae. Everybody in the.

[H. Foley]

You know, I heard what you were saying.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're hot ass.

[H. Foley]

I picked up what you were laying down. It was always a couple minutes later.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, they got a lot going on. I got the beans. I got the. The biscuits. I got the. More beans. You guys love your beans.

[H. Foley]

We do. We love our baked beans at the Foley house. Joey's doctors, them up, too.

[Kevin Ryan]

I see where you say. I think it's just like. You got to figure that's, you know, I don't know. We only really did it, Bar. We only did in the sun. Barbecue. I feel mostly we weren't doing, like, spaghetti and corn.

[H. Foley]

Crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

So what else would you be going? The stove.

[H. Foley]

What? What's going What?

[Kevin Ryan]

In my eyes, there was more cooking. So you're like, I gotta wait until this is done.

[H. Foley]

And then in the summer, on the weekends, when the family comes over, if Patty's having people, you know, you know, where the kids are swimming or whatever, I'll work the grill. You know, whatever. Salmon or the steaks or chicken or whatever we're doing Luke's.

[Kevin Ryan]

Luke just audibly laughed at that.

[H. Foley]

Why? I work the grill, dickhead. Are you talking about. I'll do a salmon on the grill. You won't know what to do. And I do a little mayonnaise dill.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is that a sex move? Salmon on the grill. You got to pay for that reverse cowgirl.

[H. Foley]

I do it nice. All right? They don't see me like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who?

[H. Foley]

My family.

[Kevin Ryan]

See you like what?

[H. Foley]

Like the joke he thinks I am.

[Kevin Ryan]

How did. Okay, I've seen them. I've seen. I've seen them see you.

[H. Foley]

Well, when it comes to the grill, I get respect.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay?

[H. Foley]

I do none of them cook salmon.

[Kevin Ryan]

No one in your family can cook salmon.

[H. Foley]

Nobody could cook salmon but me. I swear to God, I don't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

That doesn't make. I don't know.

[H. Foley]

Listen, you say they don't know the technique about the.

[Kevin Ryan]

How am I supposed to believe that?

[H. Foley]

I'm telling you the truth. And when the salmon's getting the smart.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're the smartest guy in your family is what you're trying to. I've met these people. They're learning people. They're not as dumb as you.

[H. Foley]

I cook the salmon.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not saying you don't, but I. You gotta say. I gotta push back. When you say you're the only guy in your family can come.

[H. Foley]

What about that bald guy, Johnny?

[Kevin Ryan]

Johnny can cook salmon.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, he cooks salmon.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, thank you.

[H. Foley]

He cooks a lot. He's a good baker.

[Kevin Ryan]

He bake and bread. He can cook a fucking. Anybody can cook.

[H. Foley]

He comes at you with cookies and he does a great job. Yeah, he's good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. So he. I believe he could cook salmon.

[H. Foley]

All right, fine. But I do the cooking. I cook the salmon. We get the salmon or the steak going on the grill. Whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

Steak till you deserve it. There. This guy's fucking nuts.

[H. Foley]

Whatever side she does. But then she has a big pot of boiling water, and it always feels like the meal's already done. And then the corn's ready. We're always having the corn after.

[Kevin Ryan]

I understand that. That's not what it was.

[H. Foley]

So if you had a stick of butter.

[Kevin Ryan]

I taking crazy pills today before anybody took it. I'm saying my theory is. This is my theory. And I don't know. I'm asking that. There's only four burners on the stove. Maybe the corn isn't prioritized because you got to get the beans and the fucking whatevers. And the whatevers. That's what I'm saying. Maybe. Is that the case? I'm asking what. What else she puts out. You then turn this into you being fucking Chef Boyardee. The only guy knows how to cook. Cook salmon. What are we talking about? What else is she serving from the stove? That's all I'm asking.

[H. Foley]

Beans.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. All right. This went nowhere. There's four pots of beans.

[H. Foley]

I don't know nothing.

[Kevin Ryan]

Writes a wild kit. All right, so then she's stupid. She should put it on at the same time. What the fuck? Well, trying to figure it out.

[H. Foley]

It's a big pot of water. She never times it out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right.

[H. Foley]

How long it takes it to get boiling. I think is what it is. Or she forgets.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. Yeah, I. I understand drinking.

[H. Foley]

Anyway. I respect that move. Have a nice piece of butter.

[Kevin Ryan]

I agree. I think it should have its own piece. Its own brand new bite it and go back in. No, no. You got to do. Yeah, you roll. Yeah. You undo it. Then it gets that little concaveness to it. A little. Gets a little groove going.

[H. Foley]

As long as you're not the first guy through the door.

[Kevin Ryan]

Also too. I saw a little bit better, which I kind of like. You can do it. You hold it long ways and can go like that with the short end.

[H. Foley]

Oh, what? Like what?

[Kevin Ryan]

Like you hold the stick of butter.

[H. Foley]

Oh, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then just do like you're putting makeup on it. Okay, Right, Sure.

[H. Foley]

If you're holding it like this and.

[Kevin Ryan]

You'Re going like that, you would just lay it down.

[H. Foley]

Oh. Oh, I gotcha.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then you're holding that. You're holding the thing like a pencil almost. Yeah. You're just going like that.

[H. Foley]

I gotcha. That's pretty.

[Kevin Ryan]

Man. We are off today, you freak. Putting makeup on it, huh? Like you're dating your corner. It's about to get shoved up your arse.

[Luke]

Buffalo Bill over here.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh God. Yeah, I think that's completely normal. I mean now this. I don't know this boyfriend, but this, I. Who knows what this brought? This could have been like the. There could have been crumbs from the toast in it at breakfast. And they get like. I ain't fucking rubbing. I'd rather eat dry corn than eat fucking pop pops. Crumbs.

[H. Foley]

Which isn't that bad. What dry corn? Just straight up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure, I'll give it to you. Yeah, but yeah, I'm just that might.

[H. Foley]

As a kid, forget about it.

[Kevin Ryan]

New. My stepmom used to have to cut.

[H. Foley]

The corn off, man, it might made my skin crawl. I love it.

[Luke]

I love it.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it's what they do in mental institutions.

[H. Foley]

No, my dad would do that. And they do that now in nice joints when they make like a cold salad and they have like cold corn in there and it has like they look. They're like in little pieces. That's cool, that's good. I love. My dad used to die. I'd love that. I remember when I got too old for him to do it. He's like, do it yourself.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was 29, I just failed out of school for the. Just.

[H. Foley]

When they did it, it was so much better, so good. So much better, so good.

[Luke]

I love a good chain of those.

[H. Foley]

Oh, a nice link. See, now we're on the same page.

[Kevin Ryan]

Garbage. Use polio string cheese on a chicken parm because you ran out of regular mozzarella. You know, you're doing it, you're getting the job done.

[H. Foley]

Were you a polio string cheese family?

[Kevin Ryan]

My brother? It would be my. Not really, no.

[H. Foley]

That was when I was a kid. That was expensive. Yeah, we weren't getting that.

[Kevin Ryan]

We weren't that kind of.

[H. Foley]

I used to love it. My other friends had it. It was so buttery and good and just taking your time and then eventually.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, no, we weren't. Maybe it would like if it was like real deep discount about the, you know, about to expire.

[H. Foley]

Don't know if it's Swiss or cheddar.

[Kevin Ryan]

She'd pick off a pack of it. But I mean we were mainly pound of American sliced thin, of course. Just, you know, dipping that.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, man, I remember.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember being sliced so thin. I was trying to make a cheese sandwich like seventh grade.

[H. Foley]

You couldn't get it all. You couldn't break it apart.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember like having a full blown. I was so fat and so hungry and like a full blown, like I was getting close and they were just coming off in little chips. That ain't the same, you know?

[H. Foley]

Crazy, dude.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember getting a fucking steak type out and trying to. Fucking trying to separate them.

[H. Foley]

That would happen with frozen burgers sometimes, too. You couldn't get them in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. No, but this was because it would be starting to.

[H. Foley]

Making a watch.

[Kevin Ryan]

I came back from. I had monocle. I came back. I came back from the gym. They were making me work out to try to lose weight or something. And I.

[H. Foley]

Who wants the state? What?

[Kevin Ryan]

Court ordered three to five. Three to five minutes on the treadmill, fat ass. I was coming back from the gym. I don't think they were making me, but it was like, hey, coming back.

[H. Foley]

From a gym, I bet you when Porky came back to the gym, he's hungry.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember sweating. I still had to my every. It was like that wet, kind of dried a little bit. It was cold.

[H. Foley]

That's the first thing you want. A little American cheese.

[Kevin Ryan]

A cheese sandwich with goldfish. I was like, I think I know what the problem is. The treadmill. It's so postcards. Carbo bomb on the protein shake.

[H. Foley]

Or a Gatorade. You go straight for the Cooper Sharp.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm a land o lakes American man. Sliced. But I remember being like. Then the trick would be you, like, open up the middle of it. Like, if you can't get it off the edge.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You then open up the middle, flip and go. Maybe then that wasn't working. And that's when I fucking freak out. Lost it.

[H. Foley]

I would always get in trouble, too, if I couldn't do it. And I'd put it back. It would look like birds got at it. What the hell happened to the cheese? Yeah, it's all broken apart.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. It's hanging from my lip. That. And I get yelled at for not properly wrapping it up. Wrapping it up.

[H. Foley]

What did you just say? I would get properly wrapped.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. I got cheese on the brain, of course. Well, like, sometimes.

[H. Foley]

Because I'd rip it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, well, sometimes we'd operate in a thing where, like, the sticker would come.

[H. Foley]

Off and it would rip.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then other times, I just go, we're rip. And we got the seal. We're rip. And then we fold. And you put it. You know, you put it down. So it's like, what are we doing here? First of all, this pound of American cheese are going to hang out that long.

[H. Foley]

It's nice when you get to fold it back up and you put it back. Nice. I know it's like a money holder.

[Kevin Ryan]

But yeah, I was never get screamed at for that. Uh huh. All right, let's see here. We got a few more. This one's from John. $10 contributor. Still haven't had one. Red is a garbage to accept stolen property as a birthday G. That's a bad look. When I was a teenager, my younger brother and his. My younger brother and sister stole a nice ass skateboard off someone's porch for my birthday dirt bag.

[H. Foley]

Family hearts in the right place though.

[Kevin Ryan]

Cut to a few weeks later, I'm cruising down the sidewalk and some grown ass guy in a beat up Mustang yells out the window, hey, that's my skateboard. This guy flipped a bitch and chased me for a few blocks. Even went up a curb trying to run me over. I ended up hopping a few fences and almost got mauled by a dog. But I got away. I painted the board, swapped out the wheels and watched my back for a few months. But I never saw that guy again. I mean that's like, dude, the levels of dirt baggedness. I respect that. I respect the brother for stealing it, not respect it, but it's like that.

[H. Foley]

Was so well written.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was great.

[H. Foley]

I painted the deck and swapped it.

[Kevin Ryan]

My brother stole somebody's skateboarder found. I don't know, my brother ended up with a skateboard that wasn't his. Let's just say that.

[H. Foley]

Oh shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I think it might have been a debt or something. Somebody owed him money and he took his skateboard. I don't know, something, something not on the up and up. And he painted it green with like paint that his buddy had and it was drying and I. I came, I came home from wherever I was. There's a green ice, probably the gym, the cheese factory. I came home and it was leaning up against the wall. Green. We don't have a fucking green skateboard. So I went over and I grabbed it and the paint was still wet. So I go inside, what's your skateboards at? Or whatever. And he's like, I just bought it. I'm like, why'd you paint it? And he's like, I don't know now like I know something's up. So he goes outside to look at it and my fingerprints are on it. And then he comes, because you ruined my. You ruined my paint job. I go, no, I didn't. He goes, let me see your. I had green paint all over my fingers too. Got me. It was all over the cheese too. God, we gotta wrap it up though. What a good one.

[H. Foley]

What a fun one. Yeah, gang, we love you to death. Grab some tickets for the shows in April.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes.

[H. Foley]

Right. Check out that Route 66 store if you haven't, like. Like we said, we appreciate the love and support for it. And we love you and we'll see you next week.

[Kevin Ryan]

Peace.