James McCann!

Summary

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Episode: James McCann!

Date: August 25, 2025
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Guest: James Donald Forbes McCann

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Episode Overview

In this laughter-filled episode, Australian comedian, author, and podcast host James Donald Forbes McCann joins Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for his first appearance on the show. The hosts dive into James’ life story, family background, and “garbage” credentials, putting him through the Are You Garbage? test. McCann shares hilarious and sometimes harrowing tales of growing up in Adelaide, working a series of odd jobs, pursuing comedy, and surviving “garbage” conditions—all in his signature witty, self-deprecating style.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. James’ Fancy Yet Frayed Name and Audience

• James discusses the origins of his quadruple-barreled name and its comic value.
• He jokes that having four names filters out the “weak fans”:

  "If you have real star power, you should be able to get four names to fly... you gotta really be committed to typing."
  (03:03, James Donald Forbes McCann)

2. Family Background: Superstition, Civil Service, and Social Mobility

• Father’s Side:
  • Grandfather was a civil servant in telecommunications, rose up but refused to leave his rough neighborhood due to superstition.
  • Limousine would pick him up from a rough part of town:

    "A limousine would pick him up from a very rough part of town every day..."
    (06:49, James Donald Forbes McCann)

• Mother’s Side:
  • Grandfather was a Scottish orphan, became an Australian soldier, and was exposed to nuclear testing fallout.
  • Adelaide's suburbs explained: wealthier closer to city, rougher further out.

3. Parents’ Story: From Communism to Conservatism

• Parents Met: Both English teachers who met in a tough, decaying steel town.
• Father’s Political Shift:
  • Was a staunch Communist, traveled to China after the Cultural Revolution, returned disillusioned.
  • Later became a supporter of America and Israel:

    "Came back from China very much not a communist. And is now... outspoken friend of Israel."
    (14:30, James Donald Forbes McCann)

4. Adelaide Life and Australian Quirks

• Description of Adelaide: post-industrial, artsy, and a "Pittsburgh of Australia."
• The Australian schooling system—year starts in February, terms with short breaks.
• Humorous cultural differences:
  • Christmas in blistering heat.
  • Going to the beach: “everywhere is near the beach,” but all “good” destinations are an eight-hour drive away.
    (29:35, James Donald Forbes McCann)

5. Personal Struggles and Unique Upbringing

• Parents divorced in their 60s (after James had moved), leaving him perplexed as an adult child of divorce.
• Family’s financial status: lived in a “fancy” but weren’t wealthy, often the poorest in a nice area.
• Vacations meant getting cable TV for the holiday break instead of exotic trips.

6. School Days & Youth: Nut-Kicking and Squash

• Not a model student until his dad, a teacher, put the pressure on.
• Open about being small, getting into fights, and developing a reputation for kicking bullies in the nuts:

  "I kicked a boy in the testicles... First time was an accident, but people were afraid of me after that."
  (21:09, James Donald Forbes McCann)

• Joined choir (voice changed at 16!), did debating, chess, and obscure sports like squash.

7. Early Jobs and “Garbage” Work History

• Started work at McDonald’s at 14–15, “fry cook” because he didn’t “have the personality” for front of house.
• Multiple hustles:
  • Call centers
  • Door-to-door cable sales in rough neighborhoods
  • Copywriting and music journalism
• Candid about the grind and poverty:

  "Those are the poor. Those are the difficult garbagey years... you get a children's wage, 60% of minimum wage.”
  (31:40, James Donald Forbes McCann)

8. Vegetarianism, Cooking, & Family Life

• Family was vegetarian for years; his mother focused on moral choices (Paul Newman’s sauce, cage-free eggs).
• Meals were a repetitive cycle of pasta and pizza due to his brother’s picky eating.

9. Comedy & Creative Pursuits

• Comedy start in Adelaide at 17, in 2008; describes the grind of Australia’s tiny scene.
• Admits to a decade of “bad years” in comedy—musicals, props, even a piano accordion.
• Explains the major difference in US and Australian comedy: no opening acts, fewer club opportunities.
• Also makes hip hop beats on his phone—no buyers yet.

10. Family Life, Poverty, and Making It Work

• Married, three children (ages 6, 4, and 2); wife can’t work in US due to visa.
• Lived with parents while starting a family and barely scraping by.
• Moved frequently, at times living by a meth lab, dodging gunshots, and fleeing neighborhoods on a whim.
• His scramble to support the family through gig economy jobs is both bleak and darkly funny.

11. Breakthrough: Meeting Shane Gillis

• Met Shane Gillis in Australia via a mutual friend.
• Boldly asked if he could open for him, then leveraged the invite to travel to America—paying $600 he couldn’t afford for a flight to Melbourne to open for Shane.
• This American trip was his first ever, and galvanized his belief in the possibility of “making it” outside Australia.

12. Podcasting, Poetry, Current Success

• Host of The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan.
• Four books of poetry, including the provocatively titled Disquieting Levels of Egg.
• New standup special called Black Israelite set to debut September 1st.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You should be so good you can get four names to fly. … If you have real star power, you should be able to get four names to fly.”
  (03:03, James Donald Forbes McCann)

• “My father was a Communist. He went to China as all the sort of mass death was starting to wind down. But... came back very much NOT a communist.”
  (09:02, James Donald Forbes McCann)

• “December is hot. Let me tell you, cutting down a Christmas tree in Australia is a slog. It’s a hundred degrees... but my mom would get the plastic tree.”
  (25:59, James Donald Forbes McCann)

• “If you want to be a club comic, that means you’re going to get to do a lot of cruise ships.”
  (35:31, James Donald Forbes McCann)

• “I kicked a boy in the testicles...three times.”
  (21:13, James Donald Forbes McCann)

• “I got married...we had a very cheap wedding. Made like 10 grand off the wedding.”
  (49:44, James Donald Forbes McCann)

• “We’d get cable television just for the holidays and I’d get to watch Smackdown and Raw. ... Then they cancel it.”
  (24:31, James Donald Forbes McCann)

• “You’ve only ever held jobs that are exclusively in India, but you’re doing them in your home.”
  (53:58, Kevin James Ryan)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [03:03] Names and comic branding
• [06:49] Grandfather’s rough neighborhood superstition, civil service job
• [09:02] Father’s communist youth and transformation
• [14:30] Family’s trajectory and parents’ dynamic
• [21:09] Nut-kicking and schoolyard survival
• [24:31] Holiday cable TV as a vacation
• [31:40] Child labor and first jobs
• [35:31] Comedy scene differences (AUS vs. US)
• [49:44] Wedding economics and surviving on copywriting
• [53:58] “Indian” jobs done from home
• [56:07] Getting into Shane Gillis’ inner circle, the doors to America open

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Tone and Style

The hosts keep the conversation raucous, sarcastic, and quick-witted, riffing off James’ stories and life lessons with their trademark irreverence. James is candid, self-effacing, and detail-rich; his stories veer from hilarious to tragic and back to absurd, but always land with a comic twist.

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Conclusion

James Donald Forbes McCann proves to be a compelling “garbage” guest, baring all about his family’s strange journey, financial struggles, and relentless pursuit of comedy and creative work. From communist roots to a modern hustle blended with poetic pretensions, he embodies the “upwardly mobile working class” the hosts love. The episode ends by teasing a Part 2, promising even more stories from the “Thunder from Down Under.”

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For More:

• Check James’ new YouTube special Black Israelite (Sept 1st)
• Read his poetry collection Disquieting Levels of Egg
• Listen to his podcast, James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan

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Transcript

[Stage Foley]

Calling all homies and bozos. You're cordially invited to come hang out with the boys on that Back on the Block tour. Grab the squad and come see us. It's gonna be a good time. Little stand up comedy. Plus we play Are youe Garbage? With the crowd.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Yeah, we're starting September. We're doing San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Brea, California, Burlington, Vermont, Boston, Massachusetts, Atlanta, Georgia, Charlotte, North Carolina, Raleigh, North Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania at the Met, Rochester, New York, Toronto. Get your [e-mail] we love you.

[Stage Foley]

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are you Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RU Garbage.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Oh, yeah.

[Stage Foley]

It's a little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that if they're going to be classy or if they're just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host, Stage Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Toady's in the new edition. She just got back from the pet store.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Okay.

[Stage Foley]

Bought a bunch of ticks.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Okay. Good for her. Watch out. I didn't know they sold those at the pet store.

[Stage Foley]

Kidda. Gave me a little more on that. Mike Holmes is coming at you from right next to me. That's two hours down the drain. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international businessman and a tough critic, I'll tell you that right now. Give it up for kj, kid guys, a hard laugh on a Monday. Give it up for kj. Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

[Kevin James Ryan]

What up, gang? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in as always, please make sure you review. Subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. And the boys. I got to be honest with you, climbing a chart over there. Look at the bottom half of the charts. But we're on the charts still. And then obviously the greatest website of all time. Www.patreon.com already. Garbage. Lot of money, gang.

[Stage Foley]

Yes, sir. Gang. We couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time. He is a very funny, very successful stand up comedian, PODC author. He just put out his fourth book of poems, Disquieting levels of egg. Look at that. He's got a brand new special on September 1st on his YouTube page. And you can Hear him every week on his amazing podcast, James Donald Forbes McCann. Catamaran Plan. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for James Donald Forbes McCann. The Thunder from down under, as they call him.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

The best podcast professionally that I've ever. Usually you're in a corner and there's a guy smoking a joint, and there's eight guys doing mushrooms in min quantities in the corner. This is a tough.

[Stage Foley]

You leave Lemaire out of this. He's a good kid.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Keeps baby.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

But this is also. I mean, this is very garbage set. Like to have the good set. The rich guy thing is to go, I don't care. I'm a slob. And that's.

[Kevin James Ryan]

No. We care too much. We care too much. New money.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Upwardly mobile working class.

[Stage Foley]

Yes.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Whoa. Upwardly mobile working class.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

That's my audience. It's my favorite group of people in the world.

[Stage Foley]

Upwardly mobile.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Upwardly mobile. No, you don't want downwardly mobile working class as the opioid people.

[Stage Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Well, we don't discourage.

[Stage Foley]

We say, you know, whatever you want.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

To do to have at least enough money to buy the tickets.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Listenings for free, though.

[Stage Foley]

Don't forget that or have to sell them for sex later on, buddy. Give us the backstory. Give us the origin story of James Donald Forbes McCann. Very prestigious name for a collar that frayed.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

This is a good. I pulled that out of a bag at some point. I thought that was fancy to do four names, like very.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Yeah.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

You know, like Madonna, she goes. The one name. And Prince. One name. They go, look how you know, I'm so famous. I just need one name. You could say you're. You're so weak that you only think you can get one name across people. If you have real star power, you should be able to get four names to fly. And it also cuts out a lot of the weak fans. You got to really be committed to typing.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Characters. Yeah.

[Stage Foley]

On the street you go by James McCann.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah.

[Stage Foley]

James's literary. James Donald Forbes.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Man, that's the number one best selling book of poems. And here's the secret to having a number one best selling book of poems.

[Stage Foley]

Yeah.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Just release it. Because if you. Man, there are so few sales for books of poems that to win the poem category on Amazon, you sell three books in a day. You're a number one best selling poem.

[Kevin James Ryan]

I am.

[Stage Foley]

Kid's killing it. I like.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I'm not making enough money out of it, but I feel very successful. I love it. What's my story? I'm from Australia. I'm from Adelaide. If you can Believe it.

[Kevin James Ryan]

I thought Detroit broccoli.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

It is like Pittsburgh. And it's like a post industrial town that's trying to recast itself as an arts hub.

[Stage Foley]

Say the name of it again.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Adelaide. Sweet Adelaide.

[Stage Foley]

Sweet Adelaide.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Man, we're in trouble this week. The foot best football player going into finals has just dropped. I don't know what words. I'm like a strong f anti homosexual slur. And he might be out for the full final season.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Damn.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

And we're trying to finagle something to let him back in.

[Stage Foley]

Get him back in. Where did he drop this slur?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

On field.

[Stage Foley]

Yikes.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah, the other team reported him, which seems to me a breach of some sort of code.

[Stage Foley]

Sure, I could see that.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Obviously you shouldn't be doing it. Right, Isaac, but what a great player. We'd really like him to play.

[Stage Foley]

Now when you say football, what are we talking about? Rugby.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Aussie rules football. This is. Looks like Gaelic football. Yes. He has died so that the gang may live. It's a lot of man. I was. I did a road trip through New Mexico. Went to. Anyway, I went to California. But I stopped. Pistachio land was on the way. It was like a theme park to the pistachio. But their big thing on their website and they hadn't taken it down, was that Ozzy Osbourne had once visited Pistachio.

[Kevin James Ryan]

That's big.

[Stage Foley]

That's all right.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Got a big phone now.

[Kevin James Ryan]

It's number one seller. James Ford McCann.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

James Donald Forbes McCann. We got the new special ad now. Black Israelite. We got the new book of poems.

[Stage Foley]

Wait, is that the name of the Special Black Israelite?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah, I love it. It's all about Israel and black American people. So I. We'll see if that's allowed up on the YouTube.

[Kevin James Ryan]

You are a. You are a niche kind of guy.

[Stage Foley]

It's a loose cannon.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I like it. It's hard to search. It's a big problem. I'm trying to fix that. I gotta get these people.

[Kevin James Ryan]

The number one stand up comedy special about backlit Israelites by Australian guy.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

It's mostly about Sammy Davis Jr. No, I was. Yeah, Adelaide. I went to my parents. You get the whole what?

[Stage Foley]

The whole thing, baby.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

All right.

[Stage Foley]

Mom's dad's brothers, sisters.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

All right. Dad's side is. It's odd. They lived in a very rough part of town and they refused to move because my dad's dad was scared that he would have a heart attack. He had friends who'd moved off the neighborhood street and they'd all died. And so he Said, I'm staying here. So even though he worked his way up to be. Like, he was a bureau. He was a deputy head of telecom. It was like AT and T in the state.

[Stage Foley]

Your grandfather.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yes. And so he would have.

[Kevin James Ryan]

He was afraid to move.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

He was afraid to move. And so, like, a limousine would pick him up from a very rough part of town every day anyway.

[Stage Foley]

That's awesome.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

It was very.

[Stage Foley]

I like that kind of superstition, but it was.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

It was. It was in the 70s, so working for, like a power company or a phone company did not have. Now you'd be on huge, you know, cfo, weird money. But at the time, you're a civil servant.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Gotcha.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

You know, they gave you a fancy car, but you didn't have heaps of cash. But he, you know, he went to a.

[Stage Foley]

That was a civil servant job back then.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yes. The government owned the telecommunication.

[Stage Foley]

Damn. I didn't know Australia was like that.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

We. If only we could return to it and get. Now we're getting ripped up. Now the bloody Chinese own the phone companies and they're. They're not doing a great job, let me tell you that.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Yeah, they got Chinese phone companies down there.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

My mum came from.

[Kevin James Ryan]

What the hell's going on?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Oh, it's a lot. My mum came from the worst place in Adelaide, which was Elizabeth, and my grandparents kept living there and we would go up there. It was a satellite. It was a. Suburbs are usually bad. The further out you go in Australia, the worse it is. We didn't have white flight. We didn't have some of the dynamics happening in the 1970s in America. So fancy people live close, and the further out you go, the poorer it gets. But they were both. They're like the first people in their schools to. Sorry. In their families to go to, like, uni and. No, they went to public schools. Like Bruffin Tumble public schools.

[Stage Foley]

Okay. How'd your mom and dad meet?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

They were teachers. They both became English teachers.

[Stage Foley]

No kidding.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

And they went out to. I think it was Wayalla, which is. Oh, man. That's a. That's. That's a rough. We don't.

[Kevin James Ryan]

It's like someone just turned them on.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

No, it was like an iron. It was an iron town that shut down. A steel town. And you go back there now, people say, why Allah? Why bother? And then the next town is Port Augusta. Port Augusta. It's called the Iron Triangle. The third town is riddled with cancer. And it's genuinely Chinese phone companies. To have a Chinese phone company move in there and just Give some semblance that something's going on. But they like. It was really important. They were. They were rapidly mobile people. They were. They went to university.

[Stage Foley]

Right.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

They got to become English teachers.

[Stage Foley]

Were they English teachers in Adelaide?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yes.

[Stage Foley]

Okay.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah. Although dad wanted to be a lawyer and he got to go. He was a Communist. In college. In university.

[Stage Foley]

Really.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

And then he went to China just after the Cultural Revolution.

[Kevin James Ryan]

I'm joking.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

No.

[Stage Foley]

Your father was a Communist.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Father was a communist. He was studying history. He went to China as all the sort of mass death was starting to wind down. But he really. That the west didn't know what was happening in China.

[Stage Foley]

Is this after the. What was it called? Where the guy ran over in the tank?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Before. Before. So this was the great leap forward where Mao decides we're gonna have people gonna smelt iron in their backyards. And then what do you know? It's not good iron and you can't really sell it. And then there's a lot of famine because Albania's giving them all their food. It's a beautiful part of history.

[Stage Foley]

Dad was a Communist.

[Kevin James Ryan]

That's crazy.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

But then.

[Kevin James Ryan]

That's some commie bullshit.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Came back from China very much not a communist. And is now.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Hankering for mushu pork.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Beautiful culture he gets into. Intrigued by communism in his studies and his readings.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

He wanted to be a revolutionary. He wanted to.

[Stage Foley]

Let me ask you this. You mentioned that the take over Australia. I think you mentioned that your grandfather was owning or working for a telecommunications company. Was a civil servant job.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yes.

[Stage Foley]

Australia was never borderline communist socialist. Were they?

[Kevin James Ryan]

Man don't sound democratic if you ask me. God damn. They own a phone company. His dad's going to China. What the fuck?

[Stage Foley]

Doesn't sound like Blackrock. I'll tell you that.

[Kevin James Ryan]

How many of your uncles ever went to China?

[Stage Foley]

I got two words. Vanguard. Let's go.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

We had a go. Becoming a little independent from US power in the 70s. And then spontaneously. A prime minister was not the prime minister anymore. And we've been friendly ever since.

[Stage Foley]

Right.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

He said we might close down some of these military bases and sell our own oil. He had to go away. So we've never tried again. And nor should we.

[Kevin James Ryan]

He was exhausting.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Go do a couple people were sick of him. He was. He was acting like a dickhead.

[Stage Foley]

Went for a swim in the reef. If you know what I mean.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

That was a previous prime minister. He went for it. That was Harold Holt who disappeared. People say a Chinese submarine got him.

[Stage Foley]

What?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah.

[Stage Foley]

What do you mean got him? Like picked him up?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yes, that he was a Chinese spy and they came for him. They came to take him away. He'd fulfilled his mission.

[Stage Foley]

I tell you what, that's.

[Kevin James Ryan]

I feel like I'm talking to a beautiful mine.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I'm sorry.

[Stage Foley]

On the windows. You're at it.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I'm telling you my story. And it starts with Harold Holt going, you'll enjoy this. The Prime Minister.

[Kevin James Ryan]

I'm not sure I will.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Listen. The Prime Minister goes swimming. Disappeared. Probably drowned. Maybe a Chinese, maybe, who knows?

[Stage Foley]

But what got whacked out.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Who can say Was to took his mistress to the beach. He went into the water. He never came back.

[Stage Foley]

What about her? Did she. Was she gone too?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

No, she was alive. She said Harold just went away. But then what the government does.

[Stage Foley]

Probably got Chinese.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

They have the Harold Holt Memorial Swimming Center. It's the big swimming center in China. No, in Adelaide. No, in Melbourne. Sorry. Melbourne. They named the swimming pool after the Prime Minister who drowned.

[Kevin James Ryan]

It's a little ironic.

[Stage Foley]

That's a little weird.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Isn't that a tender?

[Kevin James Ryan]

I mean.

[Stage Foley]

No, not if he died. Don't give him a swimming pool. Do you do. Like if he died?

[Kevin James Ryan]

If he died. I don't believe he did.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Now the wife said he couldn't have been a Chinese spy. Didn't like Chinese food. That's the strong argument against it. That's genuinely. That's.

[Stage Foley]

I'll tell you what though. That's pretty good.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

The Prime Minister was a spy.

[Stage Foley]

That's pretty good.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Great to be sharing this.

[Stage Foley]

Listen, if that's the move and you get to. You get to get picked up by the sub. That's the way to go. That's tight.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

So generous of the Chinese to risk their entire international reputation by rescuing one of their. I think they would have plugged him.

[Stage Foley]

Yeah, that's what he killed him.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Mum's side dad was. My mum's dad was an orphan in Scotland.

[Kevin James Ryan]

This kid was quick.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

He was an orphan from Aberlauer in Scotland. And he was. He came to Australia. He was part of the military.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Okay. This is your mom's dad. I'm sorry.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Mom's dad. And he was at a place called Maralinga. So the British government gets nuclear weapons and they want to test them out and see how bad are these for people really. So they go to the Australian outback and they detonate nuclear weapons. And then they say to the soldiers, go for a walk through that and we'll see where your health is at in 20, 30 years. Go through the radiation so it doesn't work out well, for any of them, I think they're all dead.

[Stage Foley]

Your grandfather was one of these?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah, he died in his, I think, you know, mid-60s, mid-60s. It's terrible. And genuinely. Yeah, he was. But he was in Elizabeth. Elizabeth was that suburb to the north of Adelaide. It was meant to be, like, British, the best of Britain coming over after the war and setting up their own town.

[Stage Foley]

Gotcha.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

And it turned into a slum quicker than you can say, fuck, man. That's a nice place to walk around. Oh, Chinese again. Chase Restaurant would be a real step up there. There were factories there. We stopped. We used. The only way we could have manufacturing is if the government was like, pumping it up and giving it a lot of money. So when we liberalize and we go, yeah, but then we go, we're gonna be a free market. Then they all close and all the manufacturing jobs go away. Now we don't make anything. America has learned this lesson as well. I mean, I've. When I first came here, I was in the Rust Belt. I was in the Ohio River Valley for several months. Wait.

[Stage Foley]

Thinking the action was still going on.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah, just. Isn't that the place to be? Almost heaven. West Virginia.

[Stage Foley]

Where's all the locomotives are at, man?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Some of the. Some of the poverty.

[Kevin James Ryan]

How'd you end up there?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

So I came to America because I got offered a job on a podcast. It was. Anyway, they looked up my comedy and they said I was too dirty and they fired me. But I'd already moved my whole family.

[Stage Foley]

Wait, what?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yes, it was rough.

[Stage Foley]

Hold on, wait. Put a pin in that. We'll get to that.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

All right.

[Stage Foley]

Get back to the communists.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Well, he left his communism behind. We've moved past that. He became a teacher and an author.

[Stage Foley]

So your dad became a teacher.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Outspoken friend of Israel.

[Stage Foley]

Nice.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

He's gone full, full circle. No, sorry, the other side. Whichever one is more respectful than my father, that's the one that I'm in.

[Stage Foley]

Brothers and sisters?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

One brother.

[Stage Foley]

Older, Younger.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

He's younger. He.

[Stage Foley]

Your parents stayed together? They're still married.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Brother, late career. Like, I moved to America and they broke up just before then.

[Stage Foley]

Is that true?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yes, they. In their 60s. They've split up.

[Stage Foley]

Really?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

And I don't talk about it very often because I don't know what to do with that.

[Stage Foley]

Sure.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

What do you. When you're a kid? I mean, I, ah. It's very. I think, ah. I'm. I'm.

[Kevin James Ryan]

We lost him.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I'm sorry.

[Stage Foley]

Well, he looks like a completely different guy without his glasses.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

This. The cold Small north Irish sociopath eyes that I try and come up with there. Man. Adulter divorce is a weird category to be in. The marriage lasts all through the childhood, all through into the 30s. Have some kids of your own.

[Kevin James Ryan]

I gotta be honest, it's the most. That's not the craziest thing I've heard about you so far, isn't it? If we're being honest, that's the one.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I've wrestled with after what you.

[Kevin James Ryan]

After you told me your dad was a commie. This is shocking to the point where you have to take your glasses.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Different to be a communist in Australia.

[Stage Foley]

Sure, sure.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Not better. Still bad. But like whenever people go, like in America, they go, there were communists in the Democrat party and. Or like they were lying that there were communists there. And the whole McCarthy thing, we just genuinely had commun. We had the labor. The. Our center left party was riddled with communists.

[Stage Foley]

Gotcha.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

It was like just a normal cash thing to do. People didn't know it was that bad at the time. We didn't know which way we were going to go as a country. We came down on, I think.

[Stage Foley]

Sure.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

The right side. In the end, I believe. I love freedom. I love America.

[Stage Foley]

He's gonna say that.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Beautiful. I love.

[Stage Foley]

To the victor go the spoilers.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

James Brown CNN interview.

[Stage Foley]

What?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

No, don't worry about it. It's the greatest interview of all time.

[Kevin James Ryan]

They make you watch out in naturalization class.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

No, I just. I just pro bono went and did.

[Stage Foley]

Some James Brown game six Chuck Berry songs.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Go.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Look at you in the toilet. Is that Chuck Berry was doing that?

[Kevin James Ryan]

You know where he's at?

[Stage Foley]

He's in the bathroom camp. Let's talk about tushy.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Shout out to the good folks out there. Tush.

[Stage Foley]

Let's talk about keeping a clean b hole. Tushy is where you want to be. What do you do?

[Kevin James Ryan]

What do you wipe?

[Stage Foley]

Boza. Like a Neanderthal, Huh? Like a guy in a cave scratching your girl's name on the wall. No, you do tushy. You get that bidet system going. Nice warm water shooting up the B hole. Keeping you fresh, keeping you clean all day. Absolutely fantastic.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Listen, gang, you're not too old to learn out there. And that's what I've learned as I've gotten older. There's things that I went, that's not for me. That's not for my kind of guy. My people aren't into that. And I got to be honest with you, I was wrong. Tushy, tushy, tushy. They have the everyday luxury.

[Stage Foley]

Call me a Frenchman.

[Kevin James Ryan]

It instantly transforms your bathroom habits and bottom health for life. There's a bidet for every biohacking personality type, whether you got aura, cloud plus whatever you're doing. Tushy's elevated bidet collection nurtures your bottom with instant warm water that never runs cold, a soothing heated seat, and UV sterilization for the next level. Hygiene. All toushy bidets easily attach to your existing toilet without the need for additional plumbing. You set it and you go and you change your butthole, baby. Be one of those guys that changes their butthole. Don't be like your dad. Change your butthole. Keep the swampiest body parts fresh and cool for a limited time. Our listeners get 10% off their first bidet order when you use the code garbage at checkout. That's 10% off your first bidet [e-mail] with the promo code garbage. Do it. Clean your butt.

[Stage Foley]

Yeah, kid, what do you know about factor? You never had factor before.

[Kevin James Ryan]

I know everything about factor. You know nothing about factor. I know everything about factor.

[Stage Foley]

We all know about factor over here because we're absolute big, big, big, big fans. Gang. Do yourself a few favor. School's getting ready to start, all right? Things are going to start getting busy. Next thing you know, you got the holidays and you're bulking up. Get yourself some delicious nutritious meals ready to go in two minutes. Fresh, never frozen Factor. You got a million different options over there. Not to mention they're getting in the breakfast game. You got the snacks, everything you need covered. Factor.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Choose from a wider selection of weekly meal options including premium seafood choices like salmon and shrimp. Really, at no extra cost.

[Stage Foley]

Surf and surf.

[Kevin James Ryan]

You can support your wellness goals. You can enjoy even more GLP1 friendly meals and new Mediterranean diet options packed with protein and good for you fats. Savor the global flavors. Try the Asian inspired meals with bold flavors influenced by China, Thailand and more. Hello. For more choices and better nutrition. That's why 97% of customers say factor helped them live a healthier life. Feel the difference no matter your routine. I was a fan. I listen. I've been a fan of factor for years. It's well documented here. I feel like I'm, I feel like I'm break a broken record here. Shredded chicken taco bowl changed my life. It's fantastic. Go get involved with Factor. It takes that just because I'm the kind of guy, I'll get home and I'm on my way home. Like I'll get pizza don't get pizza. Get a sandwich. Don't get a sandwich. And I go, you know what?

[Stage Foley]

I got taco bowl.

[Kevin James Ryan]

I got factor at home. Baby, throw that. I do it on the stove because I'm a gentleman. Two minutes on the skillet.

[Stage Foley]

I like it in the microwave.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Eat smart@factor meals.com garbage50 off and use the code garbage50 off to get 50% off your first box plus a free breakfast for one year.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

What?

[Kevin James Ryan]

That's. I might have to sign. I might have to sign back up.

[Stage Foley]

That's a big name code.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Garbage 50 off@Factor Meals.com for 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year. That's crazy. Get delicious ready to eat meals delivered with factor offer only. Valid for new factor customers with code and qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Do it.

[Stage Foley]

Were you a good student growing up? And how was the household growing up? You, your mom, your dad and your brother.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Quiet. What you would mean by suburban neighborhood, right? I think I was. I was. I was not a good student until I got put in the. They put me in the school that. My dad was a teacher and then he was. So sometimes your dad's a teacher and the kids get away with everything because their parents can pull some levers. And now I got spat on by one boy whose mother was not even a teacher, she was like an assistant teacher. And I, we couldn't. I couldn't do anything. I got in trouble for.

[Stage Foley]

What did he spit on you for?

[Kevin James Ryan]

Probably all that I heard your dad's a cough.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

That was some of that. There was some of that. I was. I was giving him a bit of the chat.

[Stage Foley]

I was, I was sipping with that Kami.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I got into too many fights. I got into too many fights.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Really?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Well, I started out with some fist fights and wasn't very good. And no, I'm ashamed to say I. I kicked a boy in the testicles. First time was an accident, but people were afraid of me after that.

[Kevin James Ryan]

That became your move.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I did it twice. I did it three times.

[Kevin James Ryan]

I was like stone cold.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I literally. In six months, I kicked it three. Poison.

[Stage Foley]

I like it.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

And then people were afraid of me. Not in a good way. Not like, he's so tough. It's like, stay away, stay away, stay away. You can. He's got a problem.

[Stage Foley]

I kicked a boy in the test.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I kicked the boy in the. Yes, he's a good friend now.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Hey, Nick, sorry, you can't have kids.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

No.

[Stage Foley]

Nicky Sopranos.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I believe. I believe he's brought children into this world. At least one.

[Stage Foley]

There you go.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

But I do remember he vomited up the stairs as he was walking away trail. I feel very bad about it.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Why did you kick him? What was the argument?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Isn't that always the way? Who can remember?

[Stage Foley]

That's the move.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

No, I shouldn't have done it.

[Stage Foley]

Take a swear.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I had a late pug. I was the smallest boy by a lot.

[Kevin James Ryan]

How late's late?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I was the oldest soprano the boys choir ever had. It was late. It was like what you would say I was. I would have been 16 when my voice broke.

[Stage Foley]

Okay.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yes.

[Stage Foley]

Were you in the choir for real or no?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah.

[Stage Foley]

What were the extracurricular activities?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I did them.

[Stage Foley]

Did you play?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

No. I squeezed in the nut stomping between. I did debating. I did chess. I did. I tried all the normal sports and was shit at them. So I started doing the ones that.

[Kevin James Ryan]

The obscure things did.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Squash.

[Stage Foley]

You played squash?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Squash.

[Stage Foley]

And what is squash exactly?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

It's tennis, but really dull. And the Saudis love it.

[Stage Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin James Ryan]

At least he goes to another country. Every time you ask him something, he always ends with a problematic country.

[Stage Foley]

He's very geopolitical.

[Kevin James Ryan]

I just got on a plane. It was Korean Airlines. Everybody.

[Stage Foley]

Did they have a test over there? Because you seem like a pretty sharp guy going, well, it's going great. Please, we're going to turn you in as soon as you get out of here.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

The test.

[Stage Foley]

Do they have like a. Do you know what the sats are?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yes.

[Stage Foley]

Do they have a similar test in Australia? They.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

You just. They don't have a standardized one. They have that sort of. Yes, it's state by state.

[Kevin James Ryan]

How did you do on that?

[Stage Foley]

I would assume. I would assume you're extremely intelligent.

[Kevin James Ryan]

But I feel you're intelligent. I could be wrong.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Showing up and paying attention. I did okay. But it was really. My dad was like. Because he was a teacher there and he was. He would be so ashamed. That was it. That was the only reason I was taking a break from video games and kicking boys in the testicles is. He would go, what the fuck are you doing?

[Stage Foley]

What video game system did you have?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I. Man, I was thinking about. I had the. The Xbox.

[Stage Foley]

There wasn't like different ones over there, right?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

No, we had them all. We had them all. But I had the PlayStation before then. But I never got the PlayStation 2. And I wish I'd had the PlayStation 2 instead of the Xbox. I had a lot of good Halo memories.

[Stage Foley]

Gotcha.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

But I think the PS2 we were. So it's a. It's a fancy school and they got a discount. But my mum. My mum didn't work and my dad was on a teacher's wage.

[Stage Foley]

I see. Your mom didn't work. So the neighborhood you grew up in was upper middle class. It was nice.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yes.

[Stage Foley]

All right.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah.

[Stage Foley]

Okay. Your dad did well.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

We were. We were in the fancy area and we were the poorest people by a lot.

[Stage Foley]

Understandable. Gotcha. So they bought at the right time.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

They bought at the right time. And he had a job at the. At the good school. He got a job at a good school.

[Stage Foley]

Gotcha.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

So I got brought in on, you know, you don't have to pay the same amount of money as everybody else.

[Stage Foley]

Understandable.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

And so everyone else comes back from holidays going like, oh, we've been to Paris. Oh, it was beautiful. The lights.

[Stage Foley]

And what would a vacation be for you?

[Kevin James Ryan]

My dad took me to China.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

We would get cable television just for the holidays and I'd get to watch Smackdown and Raw. That was.

[Kevin James Ryan]

You would get it just for the holidays and then cancel it.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

And they cancel it. Yeah, because they don't want to be paying for it and they don't want to be watching it. But during the. Just during the summer holiday.

[Stage Foley]

Like summer off?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah, we'd get like two months of. We'd call it Foxtel. So you'd get cable TV for two months.

[Kevin James Ryan]

That's crazy.

[Stage Foley]

That's awesome.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Ingest a huge amount of television and then back to school.

[Stage Foley]

And what. What was the. What was the school year for you? Because I. Not to sound ignorant, I can't tell what's winter, what summer.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

It's like a January to start of December.

[Stage Foley]

What is.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

That's the school year. That's the school year. So you get.

[Stage Foley]

So summer is January to the start of December.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

So maybe early Feb. But then we do it different. We have four terms with a two week break. You do one big. Yeah, kids go off to summer camp. We have like 10 weeks, two weeks off. 10 weeks, two weeks off.

[Stage Foley]

Wait, hold on a second. You got to explain this to me, okay?

[Kevin James Ryan]

I don't know how else he can explain it to you, but that was.

[Stage Foley]

When do you.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Okay, I'm doing my best.

[Stage Foley]

You're going into eighth grade. When does school start?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Like start of February.

[Stage Foley]

The start of February?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yes.

[Kevin James Ryan]

That's wild.

[Stage Foley]

Wait a minute, hold on.

[Kevin James Ryan]

That's un.

[Stage Foley]

Wait, what? That's when school starts.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

End of January, Start of February. Yeah.

[Stage Foley]

Okay.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

And then that's just when it's starting from Less hot. We're the way hot. You're going through to the start of December.

[Stage Foley]

You're going the whole year straight through.

[Kevin James Ryan]

You just said you go 10 weeks off. So it'd be like how we had marking periods or you know, whatever.

[Stage Foley]

So you're going to school in the summer months.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

In the like in your summer months. They're our winter months.

[Kevin James Ryan]

So the toilets, the other one is gonna be on the way down there.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

December is hot. Let me tell you. Cutting down a Christmas tree in Australia is a slog. It's a hundred degrees. You go into a field, there's Christmas trees that. We would never do this as a kid. My mom would get the plastic tree. But that was my like I believe in the real tree. I love heaven.

[Stage Foley]

Sure.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I love it. Sure it's a waste of money. That whole house is filled with pine needles. It's a bitch to get in and get sucks. But here I imagine it's very nice to go out and cut down a tree. Not that you. I mean you just. People sell it in the parking lot and they do it for. But there you've got to crawl in long grass and there's snakes everywhere. What the fucking away.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Imagine getting bit by a rattler. When you're trying to celebrate Christmas.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

It's a lot crazy.

[Stage Foley]

I got a half a pint of eggnog in me.

[Kevin James Ryan]

I'm not watching where I slap a kangaroo.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Eggnog not as popular because it's a hundred degree day. So it's. You want to be having the beers very early on. Christmas barbecue.

[Stage Foley]

You're telling me that you're basically going to school all year round. Ten weeks on, two weeks off. Ten weeks on, two weeks off.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yes.

[Kevin James Ryan]

I kill myself.

[Stage Foley]

Wait, so you're going to school but then your entire childhood. It never stops. I would freak out.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Summer holidays like a month and a half. So you get. You get slightly longer. But it's not like this beautiful three month American right Summer running around.

[Stage Foley]

Start September, you're done and you're done in May. You go down to shore, yeah. You get a summer job, find a girlfriend, do a little smooching.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

You're saying you but this is definitely first person stuff. I wasn't getting any. I had a very. Had one girlfriend in high school briefly and then she broke up with me.

[Stage Foley]

You're in the nuts.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I think she did become a non binary. Yeah I'm sure mate. Who can say?

[Stage Foley]

No kidding.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Who can say? Devastated all through my last year of high school.

[Stage Foley]

Huh.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

At this.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Oh, how long was the Relationship weeks. Summer break.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah.

[Stage Foley]

Oh, ok. All right. Okay.

[Kevin James Ryan]

What.

[Stage Foley]

Okay, so what would you guys do? So you're telling me that your parents would get you broke, by the way? Yeah. Your parents. Your parents would get cable for like two weeks or that month and a half.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

They get the. The month and a half. And then sometimes if, you know, if the Iraq war was really kicking off and dad wanted to watch Fox because by this point he's a Fox Republican.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Then this guy's a flip flopper, if you ask me.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

He has one. Is a huge pivot. I mean, really, the rightward tilt is. It was before my time.

[Stage Foley]

Here's a shocker. James, how old are you, by the way?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

30. I wanna say 33.

[Stage Foley]

33.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Why would you think I'd be shocked.

[Stage Foley]

At that young guy?

[Kevin James Ryan]

He thought. I thought he'd be older.

[Stage Foley]

Yeah, we've got three. He's a communist.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I have never been, nor have I ever been a member of the Communist party.

[Kevin James Ryan]

That said, they have some good ideas.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Hung out with communists at parties.

[Stage Foley]

I do enjoy Chinese food.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

We just have communists in Australia. They sell newspapers. Here's. Man, I kind of miss them. Because there's a certain kind of person when you see a English speaking communist, you know, you see the Russian commie in there.

[Stage Foley]

Sure. Being above what, it throws you off a little bit.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Communists. It's skinny pale. In Australia they're selling badges. Nobody wants badges. That's, you know, like buy a little bat.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Buy a little to support communism.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yes. But they never, you know, it's never like a hammer, sickle.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Straighten some of these guys out.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

They are the communists. But it'd be like the rainbow stuff, the aboriginal stuff, the no nuclear stuff.

[Stage Foley]

Gotcha.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Very angry with their newspapers, which are very thin and poorly researched.

[Stage Foley]

Spelling's horrible.

[Kevin James Ryan]

All right.

[Stage Foley]

Anytime you ever. Guys, would you guys ever go away, Would you go to like, how far away were you from the beach, first of all?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

So everywhere in Australia is near the beach.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Around the.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Everywhere is near the beach. The difficult thing is everywhere worth going to is eight hours drive away, minimum.

[Stage Foley]

Why? What do you mean, like a beach?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

We got. The country is the same size of America. We got five big cities, right? That's it.

[Stage Foley]

Because in the middle there's a lot.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Of hot sand, a lot of poverty.

[Stage Foley]

Does anybody live in like the middle of the country?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

It's called Alice Springs. I think it's the stabbing capital, something. But yeah, they had to bring in a curfew in Alice Springs.

[Stage Foley]

Jesus.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

There's a lot of problems. Lord's name huh. There's a lot of problems.

[Stage Foley]

So could you. How far along it think. Could you get to the beach from your house?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Not long. 40 minutes. 40 minutes. A beautiful nice.

[Stage Foley]

And would you drive there and go swimming and stuff like that?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Oh, yeah.

[Stage Foley]

Okay.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Oh, it's one of the only. I mean there's not. Sometimes Adelaide is. For a long time it was known as a place where there was nothing to do. So you would just have to. Oh, we've got a beach, we've got mountains. It's a beautiful. Too many people are moving there now and the house prices have gone up like a million dollars. So if you would stay the out of Adelaide.

[Kevin James Ryan]

You live here now.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I know, but one day I'd like to have a beautiful.

[Kevin James Ryan]

No, if you live here now, you have to not care about Australia. That's what.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

That's. You can never forget. That's what a disgusting thing to forget your roots later.

[Stage Foley]

We're not letting you go back.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Well, you're a Jets fan now.

[Kevin James Ryan]

No.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

You forgot where you're from. No. You forgot who raised you.

[Stage Foley]

Go Birds.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Go Birds. Dickhead. What was the first job growing up?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

McDonald's.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Really?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yes, I was a fry cooker. McDonald's. I wanted to be customer facing, but they didn't think I had the personality for it.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Trying to convert everybody. Communist.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I was a very bad. I'm not a communist. My father was before being very right. A good staunch loves America.

[Stage Foley]

How was the gig at McDonald's and how old were you?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I would have been 14, 15.

[Stage Foley]

Okay.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I was not great.

[Stage Foley]

When can you work there? Could you work during the school? Can you work during.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah, I'd work after school and then weekends.

[Stage Foley]

No kidding.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

And then just on a terrible. You get a. I don't know if they have children's wages here, but like they can pay you less than minimum wage if you're a kid.

[Stage Foley]

No kidding.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yes. You get like 60% of minimum wage.

[Stage Foley]

Holy shit. Australia's Wonka.

[Kevin James Ryan]

No work ethic. What. What was the big seller at a big. At the time and McDonald's. At Australian McDonald's they would.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

What was like the menu item?

[Stage Foley]

Yes.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I mean we. We have many of. The quarter pound is great.

[Stage Foley]

Sure.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I was always a big. Big Mac fan, my man. But the family was all vegetarian throughout my teen years.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Man.

[Stage Foley]

What?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah, my brothers held onto it. I eat meat. I. When I left home, I started. I was like, let's try ham. Ham is good. So when I left home, I went to university and then dropped out twice and just bummed around in, like, the art scene, doing comedy and not having any money for 8 years, 10 years, 15 years.

[Stage Foley]

Where was that? Where was it? Where was college? Where was universities?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

So we go. We always. We go in the same town that you're from. We don't have this.

[Kevin James Ryan]

You don't try. Yeah.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

No.

[Stage Foley]

So you were just around town? I just didn't go to, like, Melbourne.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Or lived at home.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I tried moving out of Adelaide a bunch of times. I tried moving to Melbourne, had another breakup. Had to get the fuck out of Melbourne. I was dating a comedian. You can't. Boy, a comedy breakup is ugly. It's all your. All your friends are also your colleagues. And she was much more successful than me, and rightly so, because I was doing the. My act was bad anyway. I get lost in the past. Excuse me. I wasn't ready to talk about.

[Stage Foley]

I love this.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I've so many closed doors in my mind.

[Kevin James Ryan]

He's staring off at the.

[Stage Foley]

No, man.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah. I tried to move away a couple times, but I always came back.

[Stage Foley]

You always came back?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah.

[Stage Foley]

And then. Okay.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Satellite's great. I mean, it's in many ways.

[Stage Foley]

Were you doing comedy there?

[Kevin James Ryan]

Yeah, that's what he said. Yeah.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Living at home, small scene. We've got a big fringe festival. So you do, like, the festival every year?

[Stage Foley]

Okay.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Like a month. You're doing like an hour. It's a good way to get early stage time.

[Stage Foley]

Right.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

To four people who don't want to see it and family members who are going about.

[Stage Foley]

What year did you. When did you start? What year?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

2008. I was 17. 17, you started comedy 2009. I was 17. Yeah.

[Stage Foley]

Damn. And you didn't move here until 2000? Until last year, right?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah. I mean, you guys don't make it easy to come. Sure. Cross the border. Getting here legally is almost no commit. Jim Jeffries made it. Who else? It's a small list of Aussie. They all go to the uk.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Yes, they go to the uk.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah. But there's a couple more now. Who? Aaron Chan is here. Blake Freeman is here. Amos Gill, the great Amos Gill is here. But that's like six guys. Scott. Do you know Scott Dooley? No. I think he's in New York. Think he does.

[Kevin James Ryan]

You're there. It's so funny. You could be naming, like, people who could sell out Madison Square Garden or open micrs and you're like, Scott Dooley. It's all sounds like people who died in high school.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

He was a radio presenter in Australia. He was great. And now he's here. I Think he writes captions for the New Yorker. Now we all are on a different journey.

[Stage Foley]

So you started in 2008? Started 2008.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah.

[Stage Foley]

And then moved here in 2024.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yes.

[Stage Foley]

Right.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah.

[Stage Foley]

So you. Yeah, we've been doing comedy about the same time. I started in 2008. I was 32. You were 17.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I mean, but I would. You might have been better. Faster. No, no, I stink. I was. I started out. I think my first gig was good.

[Stage Foley]

Okay.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

And I was like, I can do this. And then, wow. It dropped off the audience. I read Steve Martin's autobiography, and I.

[Stage Foley]

Was like, you had it.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

We gotta do some weird. We gotta challenge people. We gotta invent something brand new. And it was 10 years of wow.

[Kevin James Ryan]

You did. You did it for 10 years.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I did 10 bad years. Then I started to have some better years. Oh, yeah. I was dressing up like a nun. I was writing musicals. I had a piano accordion. I was doing everything that I would now really disapprove of people doing that.

[Stage Foley]

Sacrilegious.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

It was very old. But also, it's just. We don't have. We got five clubs, like, in the country. So if you're a club comic, that means you're gonna get to do a lot of cruise ships. I remember James Brown watching an interview with him where he talks about, if they don't want you, you have to be so good that it doesn't fucking matter.

[Stage Foley]

Right?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

It's like, all right, I guess we have to try very hard. I don't think I got there. I don't think I got to. James Brownlow. I don't have any sequence. I don't have big hair. I don't. I don't have a man come out and put a robe over me at the end of the show and bring me back to life. He's up there dancing. Look at me now. James Brown would dance on the street for like, four or five hours. You guys have club. You can become a club comic here. That means something. You can be an open. We don't have openers. Our big comics, they show up in a theater. They say, ladies and gentlemen, so and so. And they come out and they do their hour, and then they walk off and that's it. They're not. There's no ladder for, like, finding a mentor unless it's the business holds every card.

[Stage Foley]

Damn.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

What I love about. One of the many things I love about this country. I love America. Fuck Communism.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Many times I take that, dad.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

But he's not a communist anymore. He's not A communist anymore. I should. I should reiterate, but like you guys have a. People get success as a comic, then they get a couple of openers and they drag people up through the bit and the comics have a big say on who's getting opportunities.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Comics have all the say now. I would argue.

[Stage Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Over the opportunities.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Podcasts have really put the sword through the late night. Sure thing.

[Stage Foley]

Sure.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Do you know how many shows Fox is producing in America right now?

[Stage Foley]

How many.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

How many comedy shows? This is what I heard.

[Stage Foley]

What?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Zero. Yeah. They just have Fox studios where they used to do TV shows in la. Sam T. Get the pods in there. Bad friends to move into Fox Studios.

[Stage Foley]

Fox Sunday night. Let's go.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

That could be. That could really save at this point.

[Stage Foley]

Television throw us on there, man.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Wouldn't that be nice?

[Kevin James Ryan]

This was coming up for five grand.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Foxes say that Seth Meyers is like coming up next. Are your garbage. They've got. You get. You get. Wow. Incredible guests.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Yeah.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

It's the same booking people. You have to ask if Sydney Sweeney. What was it like being in Idaho with the big boozies?

[Stage Foley]

I love Sydney Sweeney.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

She is a gem.

[Stage Foley]

Kids got a little hound dog.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

She's a real talent.

[Stage Foley]

Let's go back. An actress who did the cooking in your house? Mom.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yes.

[Stage Foley]

How was she at cooking? Yes. What are the kind of. What kind of things would you have?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

My brother was a fussy eater and everyone was vegetarian. So it was like Paul Newman's pasta sauce.

[Stage Foley]

Okay.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Every.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Makes a good sauce.

[Stage Foley]

Makes a good.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

It's a great sauce.

[Kevin James Ryan]

A great sauce.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

But she would get that one because it's very moral buying. You know, it's never the cage eggs. So we would always have. You know, she would. People would complain. The school fees are very expensive, all these things. But the eggs have to be from the most immaculate chicken. Okay, that's sort of.

[Kevin James Ryan]

And Newman took care of the chickens.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

No, Newman.

[Stage Foley]

He made that.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

That is the sauce. Oh, you ever have the Paul Newman's pasta sauce?

[Kevin James Ryan]

Yeah, Yeah. I think he meant eggs in the sauce of some kind.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Oh, no. I just mean in general. Like all the ingredients, like the cows have to be treated nicely.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Gotcha.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

And. But the food brother was a fussy eater. So I remember having the same pizza, the same fish and chips. That's a big Australian fish and chips.

[Stage Foley]

Shout out to me. Too.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Very hard to find good fish and chips here. Yeah, sure.

[Stage Foley]

I'll give you that.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

But then they'll be weird. They'll be weird. They'll just be like a Greek. When I was living in Ohio. It's just like one weird Greek man was there. He's like, have the soup. It's like, I've never had soup at a fish and chip shop. I didn't know they did the Italian wedding soup.

[Stage Foley]

Yeah, you like that?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

What a soup.

[Kevin James Ryan]

It's a great soup.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

That's a soup that could travel. I can see why it broke out of just the Italian weddings. And it's taken over the whole continent.

[Kevin James Ryan]

That is a very specific event soup.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

You got so few Greek guys in this country that they stayed Greek sounding?

[Stage Foley]

Yes.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

They're like, if you want good Greek.

[Stage Foley]

Food, come over to Astoria. Take you out. I saw it take you to Cape Gladys.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

That was the first place in New York I got.

[Stage Foley]

Tommy and I never took you over there to Ditmar's take out.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I stayed in that house for one week. And I remember there was a loud as a week I met both of you. It was the Phillies.

[Kevin James Ryan]

The Phillies were in the playoffs. That's when our binge drinking between with me, him, o', Connor, Pope and Shane started.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Well, I didn't know it had. I didn't know. It looked like it had been gone for a while.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Yeah. I mean, that whole playoff run, you caught us at the tail end of it.

[Stage Foley]

Yeah.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Was a be. I mean, I'm sorry you didn't get the win in the end, but what a. I was there for a game that you did win.

[Stage Foley]

Yeah.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

And I remember it was. Kate Upton was dating the pitcher.

[Stage Foley]

Yeah.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

And there was a lot of. I didn't question Ian Finance's sexuality at all that evening because everyone was so happy about the big boozy. Sure, sure. The pussies, the tits. She had mammary glands on it.

[Stage Foley]

And we get you.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

That's the gap between big tits, famous women. It goes. Kate Upton, nothing for a generation. Sydney Sweeney.

[Kevin James Ryan]

You're not wrong.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

She's the first set of big mams that have come out in a long time.

[Stage Foley]

What was your first concert that you went to?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I think it was weird. Al Yankovic.

[Stage Foley]

Oh, my God.

[Kevin James Ryan]

So telling.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

It was great. This gets worse by this second, right? I mean, the Wiggles, if we're going very real.

[Kevin James Ryan]

They were Australian.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

They're Australians.

[Stage Foley]

Whoa.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

You guys don't love weed? Al Yankovic.

[Kevin James Ryan]

No, I do, but. What. What. What age did you go?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Oh, man, 14, 15.

[Stage Foley]

When did you see the Wiggles?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Four.

[Stage Foley]

Okay.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Trying to think of any other. We had big. So to get the Americans and the British out, we'd have, like a big music festival once a Year it was called the Big Day Out.

[Stage Foley]

To get them out, it's like.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

It's hard to.

[Stage Foley]

To get them over there.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah. Just to have enough money to get some big names.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Because if you have to tour the American bands.

[Stage Foley]

Oh, okay.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Like if you're a mid level American band. I got to see Death Grips at the Big. That was great. But it's like they would. They wouldn't tour on their own outside of that.

[Stage Foley]

I got it.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Okay, so, you know, like the Red Hot Chili Peppers come out and they're headlining and then there's a bunch of bands that you actually. Not that I didn't want to see.

[Stage Foley]

The Red Hot Chili. No, I understand what you mean.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I do love the Chili's.

[Stage Foley]

Bands from America and Britain that were bubbling up but weren't quite that good.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Then they pepper it in with Australian hip hop to support the bass. We've got. There's a couple Hilltop Hoods. They had the nosebleed section. You'll know that song. It's a big one. Shout out all day. Shout out Cursor.

[Stage Foley]

I like how he's looking at Luke. Luke. And he's gonna start spinning.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I'm trying to look at the camera. I'm trying to get. I try and do the hip hop beats and these people won't jump on for a feature. Danny Brown wouldn't jump on one.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Wait, you make your hip hop. You make hip hop beats?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

On my phone. On the garage band. On the phone. I make the hip hop beats.

[Stage Foley]

Danny Brown, he's a Renaissance man. What do you want?

[Kevin James Ryan]

He's something. He's something.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Listen, there was no money in comed. Everyone over here is a comedian. Millionaires. Look at this. You got a penthouse studio in Manhattan? Sure.

[Stage Foley]

We're on a third floor.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

You got a scrap for what you can.

[Stage Foley]

I hear you.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

You gotta make it beats.

[Kevin James Ryan]

So once you start making beats over.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

There or here, I mean, I've largely. I'm working now, so I don't get as much. You don't got the kids.

[Stage Foley]

Were you selling them over there at all?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Never. Not one person has agreed to buy any of my music.

[Kevin James Ryan]

You're making them on your phone?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah. You wanna listen to some? Nah.

[Stage Foley]

I kind of do.

[Kevin James Ryan]

I don't want. I don't want Universal Music Group to pull me into their ongoing lawsuit, if.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

You can believe it. I don't have a label, so.

[Stage Foley]

Were you over here? Well, let's. Let's fast forward. I think I would say we have a picture of the childhood.

[Kevin James Ryan]

No, but we can move on I know about the prime ministers of Australia. Yeah, we could jump forward to now. When was the first time you came here? Would you ever make a trip?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yep. I came over for two weeks. So I'd met, I met Shane Gillis in Australia like three years ago.

[Stage Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin James Ryan]

So that was when we met. You was your first time here?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yes, yes.

[Stage Foley]

No shit.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

And I had, I was not. A friend of mine was opening for him and I sort of stopped following comedy because everything in Australia was not turned on my brain. My brother loved podcasts and kept up with it and we'd had a child. So when podcast started to boom, I was out of the culture.

[Stage Foley]

I was like, you had a, you had a kid?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah.

[Stage Foley]

So you had gotten. Six years ago, you had gotten married?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

We got married. Yes, we got married. We got, now we got three kids with six, four and two.

[Stage Foley]

So you got Matt. What'd you, what does your wife do?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

She is assaulted by a six year old, a four year old and a two year old all the time. She can't work on a visa.

[Stage Foley]

Okay.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

But also, I wouldn't make her work anyway. That's repulsive.

[Stage Foley]

But what was she doing?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Making your woman work. If she wants to work, let her work. If she wants to work. You can't stop that anymore.

[Stage Foley]

What were you doing over there to make, make a living, to get married and have kids. Oh, and where were you guys living?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I mean, I lived. So we lived. We had a housemate when we were first married. And then when she got pregnant. Yeah, we moved in with my parents.

[Stage Foley]

Okay.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Cause I was, man, I had nothing. I was working in a call center for a while.

[Stage Foley]

Okay.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

For actually the company that my grandpa used to run. And then I was working. Oh, man. If you want to go through bad, I mean, bad jobs, that's probably where I can really connect. Those are the poor. Those are the difficult garbagey years. I was a door to door cable television salesman without like, wait, I would knock on people's door.

[Kevin James Ryan]

This was after net selling the service, not actual televisions.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

No, no. I would, I would say, did you want, you know, you Want to pay $30? We just drive you out to the worst parts of town because that's where, that's where you make your bread as a door to door sales. You go to a rich part of town, nobody wants to come.

[Stage Foley]

Sure.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

But you got, you know, housing commission, I don't know what you call it, section 8 and just knock on 50 section 8 doors and try and sell them cable television.

[Stage Foley]

Would you, would it work?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Sometimes I was I mean some. Yes I was. When I needed the money, I could be good at it and I could put a hard sell on. But when I. Then you'd get commission. It was all on commission. And then all of a sudden I'd have like two or three thousand dollars for the week. And I was like, I don't have to. I'll just get in the bus with the rest. This is not a job anyone wants to do. And it's a bad door to door sales. I'd get on a bus. There was an Indian man named Raghu Veer who drove the bus. There's me as an African guy who loved talking about cheating on his wife. Everyone was very uncomfortable. He'd be like, don't touch my phone.

[Stage Foley]

Is this a public bus?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

No, it's just like a big. He owned a big van, a Sienna. He owned like a.

[Stage Foley]

Who did?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Sorry. The guy driving the.

[Stage Foley]

That would take you to work.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

The manager would drive us out to an area.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Sounds a little human trafficky if you catch my drift.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

You'd only have to work. They'd only do it in the afternoon. Cause that's when people are home. But you know, four or five hours you'd knock doors in the worst parts of town trying to get people to get cable television. I did that for about six months. I made all the money in the first month and a half. And then I just kept doing it to show up. But like sad Irish people coming over to Australia who need a job and then you know, they're too dumb to work in hospitality or something. Like too slow. They just don't have bartender energy. They're doing door to door sales and regional. We do week long trips into the outback. I went back to those places Whyalla and Port Augusta.

[Stage Foley]

Wait, why would you do week long trips out there to sell move products. Where would you stay?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Would stay at like the worst sometimes it would be like a house that they'd managed to rent from somebody. I had to share a room with a man from the Philippines who snored terribly. And one night I rocked him. I was please stop. And I remember he sat bolt upright. He woke up, he's okay, I'll stab you. And it was. Nowadays you go to an HR company but. Or whatever. But I just had to absorb. I told the boss. I was like. He threatened to kill me last night.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Did you wake him up?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

The boss was like, he sells well. So don't.

[Stage Foley]

Don't rock this boat number one.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I was that. I was in a call center after that for when people had. People had our version of AT&T and a loved one died, they'd call up to disconnect the service. And my job was to, while they were disconnecting that service, you know, get an iPad.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Upsell.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Upsell them. Upsell the people who are trying to. Specifically, when people died, you'd get, you'd get deaths. They'd lumped them in together. So people who just wanted to disconnect, you'd get them. And then one in four randomly, you'd get like an old guy going, my sweet wife is gone.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Listen here box. You get your straight ass iPad, keep.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

You company through the night. But the best markup was on like the Samsung, the cheapest Samsung pad, which was like that big and didn't do anything. So I moved a lot of them.

[Stage Foley]

My mom had one of those for a long time.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

And then I thought I could be a copy. I worked as a, I worked as a music journalist briefly.

[Stage Foley]

Okay.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Got like six months in a good job doing like music reviews and watching bands. And the company, the magazine folded shortly after. About a year, they went out of business. It was owned by a Spanish billionaire who said, this isn't going anywhere. The newspaper, the Rupert Murdoch of Spain for some reason on this publication. And he shut that down. And then I had to go to the call center. And that was rough. And then I thought, I'll become a copywriter. I've got some, like, I'll write, I'll write ads.

[Stage Foley]

Okay.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

But I didn't, I didn't have an in. I'd been doing comedy. I, you know, did you have, you.

[Stage Foley]

Didn'T have a degree from university, right?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I did, but it was in like classical antiquity. It was in like Roman history.

[Stage Foley]

Okay, but still, a degree is a degree, like over there, right? You got to have a degree to get a job, a good job.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah. But so many people have them.

[Stage Foley]

Okay.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

That it's. I could have, I've never had a job that's used the degree. I could have done any of these jobs without it.

[Stage Foley]

Okay.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

But then I, man, I. This is before AI, and I'm glad I moved to America just as AI was starting to take over this industry.

[Stage Foley]

Gotcha.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

But I would, you know, I would do $4 an hour jobs to get experience that were meant to be done by like Indians. You're meant to be in a third world country, not writing very well. But I applied for one of those jobs and I got it. And they're like, okay, you just got, you got to write 15,000 words a day. About garage doors. And I would just sit. And this is. I only did this because I got married. I got married. We, I. We didn't. We got all the wedding money you get, you know, invite a lot of people. The wedding. We had a very cheap wedding.

[Kevin James Ryan]

What'd you make?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Well, I would have made like 10 grand off the wedding.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Pretty good.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

And the wedding, I don't think I had to pay. I had to pay $400 for the priest. Not like for the, you know, the church rental. We did the reception in my parents backyard and we just lived off that money while she was pregnant and she had the bad morning sickness with the first baby. And as we're going through that money, I'm selling. I had two guitars that I'd had for years. I sold there. I sold everything I loved. And then I. I got this job writing Indian copy. And I found I could really fucking do that. I could power through. I could write 10, 15, 20,000 words of slop about, like, why should you. It was all these are, you know, like, why should you start a coffee business? Reason number. And like they use these words over and over again.

[Stage Foley]

Jesus. And then you have three, two more kids.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah, because I'm a devout Catholic man and condoms are evil.

[Stage Foley]

And so you're scripping and scraping this whole way.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yes.

[Stage Foley]

And then.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Okay, rent was always a problem. And then you still live.

[Stage Foley]

Did you live at your mom's all the way through until you.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

No, I couldn't. We had to move out. So we moved out to the western suburbs. So I grew up in the eastern suburbs because my parents were up. You know, they're doing well, they're over there. That's the nice part of town. We moved into the western suburbs where there's a little more. Oh, I remember one time we went on a road trip because I could work remote, I could sit. What I would do is I would help with the kids during the day and then at night when she'd go to bed.

[Stage Foley]

Just a copywriting job?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yes.

[Stage Foley]

So you're sticking with this?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yes.

[Stage Foley]

Okay.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

So I could work remote because it was all meant for Indians overseas at this point. So what I would do is. So one night we're in this rough neighborhood and the house across the street.

[Kevin James Ryan]

When you're doing an outsourced fucking job.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I was. It was a rough time. The. I always thought the comedy is starting to grow in Australia at this point. But even if you're like a good cult act, a $20,000 year is a. That's a good year. That's on Australian made too. So I'd say a $12,000 year is a good year. Where there was a meth lab across the street and this. The scents would come in at night and we were going, this can't be good for the children's brains. The chemicals wafting in on. And it's like don't have air conditioning, so you've got. The window has to be open so we can. But then the fucking meth smell is coming in. Then one night the gunshots went off across the street because there'd been some sort of dispute. Everybody get in the car. We're going on a road trip. And I just drove the family to camp. It was like a. It's like a three day drive. I just put. It was like a real snap mentally. I'd also. I'd had Covid not long before this. This is like the last thing that happened before I made good in America. I didn't know I was gonna make good in America, but this is sort of where I was at. I just drove the family across the country. And I remember I would go off and like at night, because I could do the work whenever, but I would, you know, be in a cheap Airbnb and I'd go off to a McDonald's and I'd sit and I'd write like 8,000 words of copy for like a mattress company. And like just write, you know, eight pieces, a thousand words each. Try and use queen size mattress over and over again. And I remember it's just, they want queen size, they want those words in. So I tried to work in size queen as many times as I could. I thought that was fun. You got to make it interesting for yourself.

[Stage Foley]

It's a comic.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

But I, I worked my way up to a better copywriting job.

[Stage Foley]

Okay.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

A year and a half before we got it. And then financially was starting to go, it was a little better.

[Stage Foley]

And then give me the night that you met Shane.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

My brother said, you've got to come and see this guy. He's.

[Stage Foley]

You're still in this kind of situation?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Oh, yeah.

[Stage Foley]

Okay.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yes. I think we might have had third child on the way by that point.

[Stage Foley]

Okay. Are you still in the Matt's house?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

We'd managed to move to a house that was in a better neighborhood but was not a good fit. You know, you got kids running around and there's two bedrooms also. The parents have split by that point. So dad's also living with us. So.

[Kevin James Ryan]

So this is fucking brutal. Kind of like the pursuit of happiness.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Jesus, Christ. I was thinking through the style that.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Dog got over by a car.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

This doesn't. This doesn't sound poor enough. I kept thinking at the start, and I bet in my heart I know now we're gonna get to the poor stuff. Are you guys. It's gotta be, you know, it's the hustle.

[Kevin James Ryan]

You've only ever held jobs that are exclusively in India, but you're doing them in your. You're doing them in your home.

[Stage Foley]

Your parents split up. Your dad moves in with you.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yes.

[Stage Foley]

Your mom stays in the house.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah.

[Stage Foley]

Should have left him in that apartment and moved in with your mom. Yeah, the house.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

She was living with us first.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Oh, my God.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Anyway, it was a lot. And he also. He ran for politics for a right wing party and didn't win. And that was. And he was living with us and.

[Kevin James Ryan]

What in the fuck?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

And he ran a good campaign. And frankly, I believe he should run again. He's a good man. My mother is a good woman. They're good people. I wish they could sort it out. The.

[Stage Foley]

Okay, so your dad's living with you and then your buddies.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Some of the timelines here are difficult. It was a bit of a. It was a bit of a hectic time. But my brother, My brother goes, come and watch this guy perform. He's the guy who got canceled. And I'd been vaguely aware that that had happened.

[Stage Foley]

Okay.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I hadn't seen any. I think I'd watched the blind guy at the wedding sketch. Do you know this?

[Stage Foley]

Oh, yes.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I loved. I liked that. That was the only one I'd seen. And I went. And it was like, oh, stand up is. I didn't know he was the best to do it. I just. At that point I thought, ah, fuck, you can do stand up again. Like, stand up.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Yeah.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Like, you're like, can be great and you. And people will come. It was. There were like 300 people at the Norwood town hall and it was all men at this point. And I remember they sold out of beer because they didn't know what the audience was going to be. And so all these, like, Shane Gillis fans in Australia had to buy white wines and sit with two enormous white wines in the front row. And it was like there'd been no. I mean, to this day in Australia, there's nothing really that's tapping into that. Just like men who want to laugh and. And some ladies too. But it's like, it's all been, like, very feminized and old. Like, it's all for the old, you know, TV Generation. There's not a lot of big pop.

[Stage Foley]

Gotcha.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

And I went to that. And I didn't get to open my buddy open, but my brother really wanted to meet Shane. So I text at the open. I said, can we come. Can I come back and say hello? And we got to go in, and we hit it off. And it's the only time I. It was like, I don't know why I did it, but I said, can I open for you on the next one? Because I was.

[Stage Foley]

He was doing more shows in Australia.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

That was like, halfway through the run. I was like, okay, can I go to.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Were you doing comedy at the time?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yes.

[Stage Foley]

Yeah.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

So I said, I know you are. And the podcast was very. James Don Ford became catamaran. Plan was not the behemoth that it is now.

[Stage Foley]

You had already started the podcast over there?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yes. I had thought at that point that. Because then Patreon. I mean, Patreon was like a couple hundred bucks a month, but I was like, there's actually a future in that. Maybe the comedy is never gonna. I'd keep trying. I keep putting things up. I got a couple clips that went good on Instagram, but you can't feed your family with a viral clip on Instagram. TikTok maybe. I don't know what their model is, but I don't believe it. So I said, can I open for you in Melbourne? And he said, sure. He said, is it close? And I said, yes, which is not true. And it was the next night. And I think I borrowed the money because the only ticket I could get was like a. Down the front of the plane. $600.

[Stage Foley]

You gotta fly. You have to fly.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I had to fly. And so I flew. I paid a big lump of money to fly to more than all the money. I had to fly to Melbourne and do the show opening for him in Melbourne the next time. And it was great. He was a wonderful man. We got talking, and I. I thought that was gonna be it, but I had a friend who was at the show, and they said, ask if you can go to America and stay with him. I was like, that's gross. You can't ask people that. She said, do it. What do you have to lose? And I did. And he said, yeah, if you're ever in America, you can come and stay with me. And I booked a trip to America, and then I met you all.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Jesus Christ.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

That was like two, three months later. And then when I got back, that was in, like, September. And the third baby came at the start of December, and The parents broke up in October.

[Stage Foley]

Okay.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

It was a big. It was a big run.

[Stage Foley]

So I thought.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I thought that was Phillies lost. And the Phillies lost.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Jesus Christ.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

But I thought that would be. I thought I just had like a nice week and a half in America, man. I had a big layover in lax. I'd never been to America before. I had a big suitcase, and I thought, I'll walk around Los Angeles.

[Kevin James Ryan]

Oh, my God. My big trundle suit turns into a homeless guy.

[Stage Foley]

Is that the way you came in? You came in the other way.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

No, not the Europe way. You come in. So I came into la, okay. And I thought, well, I've. I've got. I've got a day. I can spend a day. And I hadn't slept on the flight because there was this fucking woman yammering the whole. Didn't get to sleep at all next to you. And someone said, go to Venice Beach. It's close to the airport. It's beautiful. So I was at 8am at Venice beach with my suitcase, just watching. That's the first thing I saw in America was just like psychotic guys shouting into the ocean. And also the fanciest hotels I'd ever seen in my life. And I went to the hotels because I tried to. We have a thing called, like, a day rate where you can pay to, like, take a nap somewhere. And I go in there, I was asking everybody, have you got a day rate? And they were looking at me weirdly. I realized it sounded like I might have been saying date rape. I don't know.

[Kevin James Ryan]

I'd like to take a nap here, if that's okay.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah, that was what I was. I didn't realize it was the homelessness. I was going, can I have a nap somewhere? I'm very tired. I don't want to see anything.

[Stage Foley]

What's your shit shower shave rate? Huh?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

It was like, some guy said, it's like $700 if you want to stay. Yeah, it's like. But there's a bum out there.

[Kevin James Ryan]

So we're going to wrap it up, though. I mean, we got to get you out. I hate to cut you off.

[Stage Foley]

What?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Well, it's been great. I really had a nice time. We had a great time. Thank you for having me.

[Stage Foley]

You're here. You're coming back?

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. You're welcome to come on the James Donald Forbes McCann catamaran plan anytime.

[Stage Foley]

Thank you. Thank you, gang. Do yourself a favor. Check out the brand new special on September 1st. It comes out all right? Of course. Pick up the book, Disquieting Levels of Egg, his fourth book of poems. And, of course, listen to the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan. And we will be back for part two with James Donald Forbes McCann and this tale of absolute whoa that we have heard.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

Which Tickets on sale now. I'm going all over the place.

[Stage Foley]

Look at him. We love you.

[James Donald Forbes McCann]

I really appreciate this, buddy.

[Stage Foley]

You're coming back to hear the rest of this tale. We love you so much, gang. We love you. We'll see you next week.