Podcast Summary: "Jessica Kirson Returns!"
Podcast Information:
- Title: Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
- Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
- Episode: Jessica Kirson Returns!
- Release Date: May 5, 2025
Introduction
In the episode titled "Jessica Kirson Returns!", hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley welcome back the acclaimed stand-up comedian Jessica Kirson to the "Are You Garbage?" podcast. This episode marks her return after her successful special on Hulu, "I'm the Man". The hosts express their excitement to delve deeper into Jessica’s experiences, both personal and professional, uncovering whether she truly embodies the "Garbage" persona the podcast is famed for assessing.
Guest Background and Special Intro
Jessica Kirson reappears on the show, reestablishing her rapport with the hosts after her initial appearance early in the podcast's history. Kevin Ryan introduces her with enthusiasm:
Kevin Ryan [01:53]: "She is one of the funniest. Yes, one of the best. One of the most hardworking standup comedians out there today."
Jessica reciprocates the warm welcome:
Jessica Kirson [03:08]: "I feel like that. Yeah. I don't feel like that with everybody, but I really feel like that with you guys."
Early Encounters with Celebrities
Jessica shares her interactions with several Hollywood giants, highlighting her unique experiences:
Jessica Kirson [06:36]: "I mean, I've met Bobby D. Right. De Niro. ... I worked with him and became friends with him. Crazy that was."
She recounts dining with Robert De Niro and other notable figures:
Jessica Kirson [08:16]: "We went to his restaurant right in the beginning and had cappuccinos and he had a drink. ... I had really nice feet."
Jessica also touches on meeting Madonna, revealing a rare glimpse into her early fame days:
Jessica Kirson [07:29]: "I met Madonna. I was freaked."
Personal Habits and Preferences
The conversation shifts to Jessica’s quirky personal habits, particularly her lackluster foot care leading to athlete's foot:
Jessica Kirson [04:13]: "I don't take care of myself. I really don't."
She humorously admits to neglecting her hygiene routines:
Jessica Kirson [04:27]: "I have a hard time lifting the shirt, it's so tight."
When discussing dining out, Jessica reveals her steady eating habits regardless of who picks up the bill:
Jessica Kirson [09:54]: "I scale it up. ... I was brought up really, like, down to earth."
Travel Experiences and Anecdotes
Jessica shares vivid memories from her childhood and her tumultuous travel experiences as a comedian:
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Chased by a Dog: She narrates a terrifying encounter with a dog that almost bit her, providing a humorous yet heartfelt story about survival.
Jessica Kirson [16:23]: "I was chased by a dog in my neighborhood. It was one of the most traumatic things that ever happened to me."
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Jellyfish Sting: Recalling a painful jellyfish sting in Florida, Jessica illustrates her apprehension towards the ocean's vastness.
Jessica Kirson [32:36]: "I was bitten by a jellyfish once, and I also... it frightened me."
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Concert Memories: Her first concert experience with Genesis at Madison Square Garden paints a picture of her rebellious youth.
Jessica Kirson [11:06]: "So when I was a kid or... I've met a lot of people in my life, obviously."
Dining and Food Preferences
Jessica discusses her unabashed love for fast food and unconventional dining habits, often eating directly from plates or bags:
Jessica Kirson [22:48]: "I'll put my food on the bed in the hotel and just eat from the plate."
Her preference for fast foods like Domino’s and her unique condiment fusions showcase her offbeat personality:
Jessica Kirson [25:06]: "I mix ketchup and mayo together... My kids call it pink sauce."
Hotel and Travel Routines
Jessica outlines her no-nonsense approach to traveling, emphasizing privacy and practicality over luxury:
Jessica Kirson [22:48]: "I have a challenges from doing stand up for 26 years. Yeah."
She candidly talks about her disdain for first-class travel and her reliance on standard hotel amenities:
Jessica Kirson [24:12]: "I do not pay for a first class ticket, but I get bumped up a lot on Delta."
Her meticulous tipping habits and minimalistic luggage preferences are touched upon, portraying her as both considerate and resourceful:
Jessica Kirson [53:35]: "I always tip... I will leave 10 if I'm staying like... if I'm in a suite. 20."
Personal Challenges and Quirks
Jessica delves into her struggles with mental health and gambling addiction, offering a raw and honest perspective:
Jessica Kirson [48:58]: "I buy the coins and then write that down. I'm addicted to it."
Her candidness about personal flaws and vulnerabilities adds depth to the conversation, aligning with the podcast's theme of testing the "Garbage" status of its guests.
Humorous Interactions and Final Verdict
Throughout the episode, the hosts and Jessica engage in playful banter, poking fun at each other's quirks and habits. The conversation wraps up with the hosts officially declaring Jessica Kirson as "100% garbage," celebrating her humor and relatability.
Kevin Ryan [61:24]: "Jessica Kirsten, 100% garbage."
Jessica embraces the label with grace and humor, reinforcing her status as beloved and unabashedly "garbage."
Conclusion
"Jessica Kirson Returns!" is a rich, engaging episode that provides listeners with an in-depth look at Jessica's life, her comedic journey, and her unfiltered personality. From celebrity encounters to personal anecdotes and quirky habits, the episode successfully captures the essence of Jessica Kirson, confirming her rightful place on the "Are You Garbage?" podcast roster.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps
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Kevin Ryan [01:53]: "She is one of the funniest. Yes, one of the best. One of the most hardworking standup comedians out there today."
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Jessica Kirson [04:13]: "I don't take care of myself. I really don't."
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Jessica Kirson [16:23]: "I was chased by a dog in my neighborhood. It was one of the most traumatic things that ever happened to me."
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Jessica Kirson [25:06]: "I mix ketchup and mayo together... My kids call it pink sauce."
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Jessica Kirson [48:58]: "I buy the coins and then write that down. I'm addicted to it."
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Kevin Ryan [61:24]: "Jessica Kirsten, 100% garbage."
This episode stands out as a testament to Jessica Kirson's comedic prowess and her ability to connect with the hosts and audience on a personal level, all while maintaining the playful competitive spirit of the "Are You Garbage?" podcast.
