Josh Johnson!

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast" – Episode Featuring Josh Johnson

Release Date: June 12, 2025

Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Guest: Josh Johnson, Stand-up Comedian, Actor, Writer, and Podcaster

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1. Introduction to Josh Johnson

In this episode of "Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast," hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley welcome their special guest, Josh Johnson—a multifaceted talent in the comedy world. Josh boasts an impressive resume, including writing for 51 episodes of "The Tonight Show" and 867 episodes of "The Daily Show," where he also serves as a correspondent. Additionally, Josh hosts "The Josh Johnson Show" podcast and has a popular YouTube presence with 1.7 million subscribers. The hosts highlight Josh's upcoming European tour, the "Flowers Tour," emphasizing his growing influence and dedication to community service.

Notable Quote:
H. Foley [02:04]: "He is a very funny, very successful standup comedian, actor, writer, and podcaster."

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2. Early Life and Family Background

Josh Johnson grew up in Alexandria, Louisiana, navigating a challenging environment away from the bustling hub of New Orleans. His parents were both educators—his mother a special education teacher who later became a librarian following a successful brain surgery, and his father a paraprofessional assisting children with special needs. Josh was an only child, and after his parents' separation during his childhood, he lived with his grandparents alongside his mother and aunt.

Notable Quote:
Josh Johnson [05:12]: "I grew up in Alexandria, Louisiana. There is a disappointing amount going on there."

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3. Education and School Challenges

Josh attended Holy Savior Menard Catholic High School, where he excelled academically until the seventh grade. In eighth grade, he faced significant challenges in math, largely due to administrative errors related to his handedness—he writes with his left hand but throws with his right. This mix-up led to his placement in special education math classes, despite his capability. Josh attempted to enroll in AP Biology in his senior year but was denied, highlighting systemic issues within the educational system.

Notable Quote:
Josh Johnson [28:57]: "Once I understood the algebra, I was fine until senior year, they put me in AP Biology, and that was too much."

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4. Early Work Experience and Personal Traits

At sixteen, Josh landed his first job at a Mexican restaurant, starting as a chip boy before advancing to bussing tables. Due to his inability to drive—a result of a disastrous driving test at sixteen—he often walked or ran three miles to work. This lack of a driver's license also influenced his cautious nature, including his decision to abstain from alcohol, earning him the reputation of being the designated sober friend.

Notable Quote:
Josh Johnson [21:06]: "I have to run to work, and they eventually offered me rides when they realized I was running daily."

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5. Comedy Career and Achievements

Josh's career in comedy is marked by significant contributions to prominent shows and his successful stand-up routines. He has been featured on platforms like "Conan the Comedy Lineup" and "The Late Show," and he actively engages with his audience through social media and his podcast. His dedication to comedy is further exemplified by his thoughtful approach to his tours, particularly the "Flowers Tour," which intertwines performances with volunteer work, aiming to inspire community involvement.

Notable Quote:
Josh Johnson [68:33]: "This tour is built around different forms of volunteer work, encouraging people to engage with their communities."

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6. Personal Life and Financial Responsibility

Josh resides in Brooklyn with his girlfriend, emphasizing a modest lifestyle despite his growing success. He prioritizes saving and wise investments, such as paying off his mother's house and purchasing property for his family in Georgia. Josh avoids unnecessary expenditures, focusing instead on meaningful investments and maintaining financial stability.

Notable Quote:
Josh Johnson [48:32]: "I tried to live modestly. Everything I buy is pretty cheap, luckily."

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7. Lifestyle and Habits

Health and wellness are integral to Josh's daily routine. He maintains a balanced diet, often opting for smoothies and healthy meals, and prioritizes hydration. His fitness regimen includes calisthenics, especially during the pandemic when gym access was restricted. Despite a busy schedule with touring and podcasting, Josh ensures he remains active and health-conscious.

Notable Quote:
Josh Johnson [60:35]: "I try to drink a lot of water and do smoothies during the day to stay healthy."

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8. Future Plans and Community Focus

Looking ahead, Josh plans to continue expanding his comedy career while maintaining his commitment to community service. The "Flowers Tour" is a testament to his dedication to blending entertainment with meaningful volunteer work, aiming to make a positive impact in each city he visits. Josh emphasizes the importance of supporting existing community projects rather than starting anew, making it easier for attendees to contribute effectively.

Notable Quote:
Josh Johnson [69:02]: "We try to bring light to existing community efforts, making it easier for people to get involved."

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9. Conclusion and Host Appreciation

The episode concludes with hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley expressing their admiration and support for Josh Johnson. They highlight his humility, financial responsibility, and commitment to both his craft and community, solidifying his image as a "garbage" comedian with class and substance.

Notable Quote:
H. Foley [70:50]: "You're about to head over to Europe. You got your European tour going. JoshJohnsonComedy.com the YouTube is killing it."

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Key Takeaways

• Resilience and Adaptability: Josh overcame early educational challenges and a lack of transportation to build a successful career.
• Financial Prudence: Despite rising fame, he maintains a modest lifestyle, focusing on savings and meaningful investments.
• Community Engagement: His upcoming "Flowers Tour" integrates comedy with volunteer work, reflecting his commitment to giving back.
• Health-Conscious Lifestyle: Prioritizes wellness through diet and fitness amidst a demanding career.

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This episode offers an insightful look into Josh Johnson's life, showcasing his journey from a small-town upbringing to becoming a notable figure in the comedy scene. His blend of humor, responsibility, and community spirit provides a well-rounded portrait of a comedian who embodies both trashy humor and classy character.

Transcript

[Kevin Ryan]

Martin's question is, are you garbage? If you ask for a Rumpelman shot at the bar upstairs and the bartender said, we're not that kind of place.

[H. Foley]

Give the boys a round of applause for kicking it off with a goddamn home run.

[Kevin Ryan]

Rumpelman's when you're out of crack, where.

[Josh Johnson]

Is.

[H. Foley]

Rumpelmann's when you know you're not going to get hard, gang? Get your tickets for the Back on.

[Kevin Ryan]

The block [e-mail] second show out in San Francisco. Get your tickets for Portland, Seattle, Brea, Burlington, Vermont, Boston, Massachusetts. Low ticket warning, Atlanta, Georgia, Charlotte, North Carolina, Raleigh, North Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland, Philadelphia at the Met, Rochester, New York, and Toronto, Ontario. See you there.

[H. Foley]

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are you Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RU Garbage. Oh, yeah, it's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that if they grow up to be classy, yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash.

[Josh Johnson]

Trash, trash, trash.

[H. Foley]

I'm your host, H. Foley. Coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition. She just walked into a wasp nest.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay?

[H. Foley]

She's all stung up. All right, fair enough. Mike coast is coming at you from right next to me. Extremely unamused this week. He is the CEO of Are youe Garbage? He is an international businessman, and he's my best pal in the whole wide world, and I love him. Give it up for kj. Kevin James Ryan, everybody. Let's go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, everybody. Thanks for tuning in as always. Please make sure you rate View subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also full video available over there on Spotify, baby. And then obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com. are you garbage? You go over there, you get up to a bajillion hours worth of bonus content.

[H. Foley]

Yes, sir. And, gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time. He is a very funny, very successful standup comedian, actor, writer, and podcaster. He's written on 51 episodes of the Tonight Show, 867 episodes of the Daily show, which he is also a correspondent. You've seen him on Hard in the City. You've seen him on Conan the Comedy Lineup this week at the Comedy Cellar. The Late Show, After Midnight, Game Change. You can hear him every week on his amazing podcast, the Josh Johnson Show. All right. He has a special out on Paramount plus called Hashtag, his YouTube page. 1.7 million subscribers. It seems like he's dropping a half hour every week.

[Kevin Ryan]

Every half hour.

[H. Foley]

And they're all over a million, two million. This kid is absolutely killing it. He's about to start the European leg of his world tour. You can get tickets@josh johnsoncomedy.com give it up for Josh Johnson, everybody. Let's go.

[Josh Johnson]

Thanks, man.

[H. Foley]

Look at you, man.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Both worlds. You got the legacy media, you got the Internet. You figured it out.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. When you say legacy media, I get nervous. Usually legacy media is followed right. By a takedown.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's like, yeah, you and your corporate shills, man.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. You're real popular with legacy media. And weren't you on some island?

[Kevin Ryan]

I got the flight manual.

[H. Foley]

Traditional media. Yeah, buddy. I mean, we've been talking about it for months. Congratulations.

[Kevin Ryan]

Fantastic.

[H. Foley]

You're absolutely killing it, man. You're moving some tickets. Kid does well and it's good to see. And you're heading over to Europe, man. That's fucking cool as shit.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to go some places I've never been before, and that is where I get the most nervous of, like, I want to, like, capture the sensibility as quickly as possible, but when you get there and then you have to do the show right away, it becomes a bit tough where not only is it a little bit easier because I'm actually an American, but sometimes you do get the opportunity to go to a city a day ahead and go like, walk around or you meet people, you talk to people and everything. And so I'm very excited to do those shows, but those are probably like in the realm of nerves. Those are probably in those last few rungs that you get.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha.

[Josh Johnson]

You know?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Anytime I've ever performed overseas, I'm always like, the minutes leading up to it, I'm like, do you guys know what a supermarket is? Like? I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

What a well thought out, articulate answer. I have a feeling we are about to get somewhat of a master class in class.

[Kevin Ryan]

Could be. Comes always a very kids put.

[H. Foley]

This guy's put together.

[Kevin Ryan]

Put together also. I mean, you know, pull the fourth wall back a little bit. It's 12:45. You offer him a beer right away he's just like, no, I don't Dr. So I don't think. I don't think he's cut from the same cloth as you are.

[H. Foley]

But he said that. He's like, no, I don't drink. I was like, you start writing that Sharpie. Take us back. Give us the origin story. Where were you born?

[Kevin Ryan]

Where'd you grow up, kid? Correct.

[H. Foley]

Is that true?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. I grew up in Alexandria, Louisiana.

[H. Foley]

Oh, okay.

[Josh Johnson]

So the middle of the state, Central Louisiana.

[H. Foley]

No kidding.

[Josh Johnson]

There is a disappointing amount going on there. Is to say you're in the middle. It's. We're pretty far from New Orleans where everything is happening and what everyone knows and everything, but we are in an unfair path of the hurricanes.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

To say that, it's like, we're not in the Gulf, so it's like to still get hit the way we would get hit.

[H. Foley]

I've never picked up on your accent before, and I'm hearing nobody does.

[Josh Johnson]

That's crazy. No, no one ever does. And it's kind of even. People didn't pick up on it when I lived there.

[Kevin Ryan]

The hell are you from?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, like, I used to.

[H. Foley]

Goddamn Yankee out of here.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. I used to work at restaurants, and I'd ask, you know, for people's order, and they'd be like, where are you from? And I'm like, right there.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's my house. My house right out the window.

[Josh Johnson]

And they're like, nah, no way. I'm like, yeah, no. This is just how I talk.

[H. Foley]

I don't trust you. Get me another waiter. What are we talking about? Like, is it swampy? Is it. What is it?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's all you think?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You guys got land there, or is it all mushy?

[Josh Johnson]

I mean, there are levees that can break.

[Kevin Ryan]

So I've heard on legacy media.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah. There are bayous and everything. But, you know, it's interesting because we had everything that you would need for a pretty substantial city, but we just didn't have any of it to the degree that it felt like a major city, if that makes sense.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha.

[Josh Johnson]

We didn't have. And this is just. Some of this is opinion, but a lot of it is just fact. We didn't have enough people.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

Okay. That's usually a crazy substantial city. We have an airport, but I think there's only six flights a day.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's pretty good. A lot of places don't have an airport.

[Josh Johnson]

A lot of places don't have an airport. Right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Look at six flights. Where are those flights to, though?

[Josh Johnson]

They're all connections. We only fly to, I think Atlanta and to North Carolina. What the fuck? So it's like you have to. Like, when I. It's like when I lived in Chicago.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh.

[Josh Johnson]

To get there had to be impossible to get home. And then I was, like, broke in Chicago. So it's like I would save up to be able to go home to be on these two flights. And the first time I had been on a plane was leaving, like, Alexandria to move to Chicago. Yeah. So, like, when I graduated college and I decided to move to Chicago, like, start doing comedy and stuff, that was, like, the first plane ride I'd ever been on. That's nuts. So I got such a terrible headache. I was 22. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Was it a normal plane or was it a smaller plane?

[Josh Johnson]

It's gotta be a smaller plane. I didn't know what a normal plane was.

[H. Foley]

There propellers on it.

[Josh Johnson]

There was no propeller. So it was probably a commercial plane.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha.

[Josh Johnson]

But the commercial was short.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha.

[Josh Johnson]

And so then I remember taking off and being like, wow. And I was like. And it was emotional, too, because, you know, I was, like, really leaving home. Like, I had left home for college, but I was only two hours away. I was properly leaving home and my mom was seeing me off and everything. It was kind of a movie. Yeah. And so I was just. I was like, really kind of getting cut up about it, like, as we were about to take off. And then it's my first flight. So we're like 45 degrees, and I'm like, whoa, this is the world.

[H. Foley]

Doesn't even make it off the Runway.

[Josh Johnson]

This is the highest I've ever been. The plane is.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're going.

[Josh Johnson]

My feet. The plane was not high. And I was like, whoa, this must be what a billionaire feels like. Yeah. And then. And then we get. We get about.

[H. Foley]

So this is space.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. We get about 45 degrees for the turret turn, and we start tipping. And I'm like, oh, yeah. Because I always thought. This is very dumb, but I always thought that when you flew, you just flew straight. Like, I thought they.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't just listen. You're not wrong. I feel like they turn too much sometimes.

[Josh Johnson]

I thought they got on the Runway and then they pointed.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Josh Johnson]

Where they were trying to go. And then they took off and went that way like a slingshot. So as soon as we turned, I was like, oh, we're going down. This is what happens when you leave home. It was good.

[H. Foley]

I should have stayed at the restaurant.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

My mom's going to watch me crash. This is bad.

[H. Foley]

All right, hang on. So real quick. Was the city something years ago? Like, was there industry there? And it Left, like, would you say.

[Josh Johnson]

That was like an Air Force base?

[Kevin Ryan]

It looks pretty.

[H. Foley]

It was an air force base size. Did you guys live in the city proper? In the suburbs of this city?

[Josh Johnson]

So when I was born, I. I believe we were in the. Yeah, so we were in the city proper. Like, if you even type in, like, I mean, if you. Okay, so maybe type in Alexandria, Louisiana. Sonia. Cor. Quarters. O N I A and then quarters.

[H. Foley]

Is that an apartment complex?

[Josh Johnson]

No, no, it is.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sounds like I got this. Does it look about Sonia quarters?

[H. Foley]

Is that what you grew up in? Something like that.

[Josh Johnson]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

So really, it don't look great, if I'm being honest.

[H. Foley]

That's like Elvis's house.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. No, no, no. So. So if you zoom out. So, okay, there's a. There's a. A pretty substantial part of Alexandria, Louisiana that is like really bad off.

[H. Foley]

Are you from the 40s? That's crazy.

[Josh Johnson]

Well, that picture might be, but I swear I'm born from now. Ish.

[H. Foley]

That's a vampire.

[Josh Johnson]

No, no, there's no sinners going on.

[H. Foley]

Wait, was your house like that, though? Was it like an old house like that?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. So. So, okay, let me see if I can find. Okay. Okay.

[H. Foley]

Are you looking at these?

[Kevin Ryan]

Am I looking at the. Are you looking at more of the aerial view or the house?

[Josh Johnson]

So. So this house kind of would be something similar to when I was really.

[H. Foley]

Let me see.

[Kevin Ryan]

Gotcha. Yeah, the one we were looking at.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Miles Davis was born.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. And so then we lived in. When my parents got back together, we lived in Pineville for a little bit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

Pineville is actually having like quite the.

[Kevin Ryan]

Come up now or at the time.

[Josh Johnson]

No, no, no, no.

[H. Foley]

Seven flights a day.

[Josh Johnson]

So Pineville is like.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm so intrigued. I've never looked up someone's hometown. This is amazing.

[Josh Johnson]

There's a couple of things. Oh, man. You know what I should have done?

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, Pineville's a little cute town.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. So Pineville's cute. Now there was a time place to call home.

[Kevin Ryan]

City of Pineville.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. Pineville used to have just so much less going on. And so that was probably a little closer to like the sticks a little bit. Then we were only in Pineville for a little bit. And I think that's because my dad's apartment was in Pineville. When we all moved in together, we moved back. And these are all across the river from each other. So it's just a lot of carrying trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, your parents getting back together is a. Is always a red. Not a red flag for garbage. Across a river ain't great, if I'm being honest.

[H. Foley]

Didn't understand how airplanes work.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Hold on. Let's go. Let's go back.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Okay. So your mom and dad are from this town? From Alexandria?

[Josh Johnson]

Yes. Yes.

[H. Foley]

What did they do for a living?

[Josh Johnson]

So both teachers. So my mom.

[Kevin Ryan]

Teacher.

[Josh Johnson]

Special ed teacher.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

And she. So basically she was special ed teacher up until I was like, 10 or, like, 9 or 10 or something like that.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

And then she. She had to have brain surgery.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

So, you know, that was, like. That was a really scary time because they didn't give her, like, a great prognosis or anything.

[H. Foley]

Was it cancer?

[Josh Johnson]

And. Yeah, it was. It was. It was a rare type of tumor. Tumor. And then she had the surgery. Surgery was successful. But then they were like, you're not gonna walk. You're not gonna. Like, it was all this stuff. And then she managed to make a full recovery, like, walking. And, like, all of her. Like, they were like, you're gonna have trouble computing and everything. Like, you just won't be the same and stuff like that. And she. And she was. It was really a miracle. And then she transitioned, because special ed teaching is such, like, hard, strenuous work and everything. She couldn't do it after the surgery, so she transitioned to becoming a librarian. And so then, like, basically most of my late elementary, junior high, all of high school was just, like, spent at the library after school. Cause she would pick me up, but then she's still at work, so she would be picked. She'd take her lunch break late to come pick me up from school, and then we would just chill at the library till she was done.

[H. Foley]

No kidding. So not the school library?

[Josh Johnson]

Not the school library. Public library, yeah.

[H. Foley]

Was she a teacher, though, at the same school that you would have went to? She was in your school district. And there wasn't many.

[Josh Johnson]

I wasn't in special ed, so it was.

[H. Foley]

No, I know.

[Josh Johnson]

Oh. Oh, got you. Got you. I thought you met at the same school.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like, just thinks everybody's in special ed. Because he was.

[H. Foley]

I didn't mean that I met in the same school district. Was she teaching in your school district?

[Josh Johnson]

Like, I guess you could say the school. I guess I was. So I was so little as well that I wasn't, I guess, paying attention to what the district was. So I'm. I'm sure. I'm sure she would have been in the.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've also fully had such.

[Josh Johnson]

He's.

[Kevin Ryan]

He gets such. That's what makes him a great host and interviewer. He has such specific questions sometimes that, like, I've never seen someone just go, what are you talking about?

[H. Foley]

The dryness at which you just like.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, no, honey, I'm not. Also, he's like, you guys are like the antithesis of each other. I've never thought about what school district I was in when I was in first grade.

[H. Foley]

Okay, all right. Your mom's a librarian, your dad's a teacher.

[Josh Johnson]

Yes. Okay.

[H. Foley]

Brothers and sisters?

[Josh Johnson]

No, it's just me.

[H. Foley]

Just you. Wow.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right.

[Josh Johnson]

And so my dad was, like, a paraprofessional, so he was kind of in that same line of education as my mom, except he would be assisting a lot when it came to kids with special needs that went further beyond, like, just the classroom if they need help with other. Other stuff. And then he was like a volunteer slash. Worked at the Boys and Girls Club after that.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're cut from good cloth.

[Josh Johnson]

Very sweet people.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very sweet.

[H. Foley]

Where did they both go to school? Where'd they both go to college?

[Josh Johnson]

They both went to Gramlin University.

[H. Foley]

Wow.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

All right. That's pretty good. And where did you go to school?

[Josh Johnson]

I went to college at Centenary College of Louisiana. It's in Shreveport. It's like two hours from small school.

[H. Foley]

Private school.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, it's like a small Methodist school.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah. So that's where I studied.

[H. Foley]

All right, so it's just the three. Is there extended family in the area, like, on your mom's side of your dad's side?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

You got cousins, you got grandparents? Yes, everybody's around.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, every. Everybody is around. Had cousins. Lived with my grandparents for a bit.

[H. Foley]

Let's get to that. When. When did your parents split up?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, so they split up when I was like. Yeah, around that time of. Of my mom's surgery and everything. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

So after the recovery or, like, why it was going on?

[Josh Johnson]

It was. Yeah, it was. It was kind of. It was kind of during and after, I suppose. And then it was definitely after that. It was, you know, like, official and stuff.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha.

[Josh Johnson]

And. And then we moved in with my grandparents, live with them.

[H. Foley]

You and your mom?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, my mom and I. And. And so I was basically around my mom, my aunt, my grandma, and my granddad for, you know, like. Yeah, a majority of that junior high.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha.

[Josh Johnson]

High school.

[H. Foley]

Was your dad still in the area?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

You see him?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, I'd still see him and everything. And then. Yeah, and then when my mom and I moved out on. On our own and everything, that was like, the rest of high school.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Okay. And then when did they get back together? Did they ever get back together?

[Josh Johnson]

Not. Not again. So they. Yeah, basically they were together and then I was born and then maybe when I was like two, they split up for a bit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Gotcha.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

And then they got back together. But then when I was like, maybe it's hard. Cause it's like a two year process of like divorce. So it's hard to say. Like I just kind of call it when it's final. So by the time I'm like 12.

[Kevin Ryan]

This guy calls balls and strikes, dude.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, it's just like, he's like, once.

[Kevin Ryan]

The state gets involved, that's when. That's why I acknowledge it.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah. Because.

[H. Foley]

Because that's still common law, wife. I'm telling you right now.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. And so by the time I was. Yeah. In like junior high and was like fully official, they never got back together after that.

[H. Foley]

Let's talk about ORA frames.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, shout out or frames.

[H. Foley]

Now you've heard us talking about aura frames for your mom, for your aunt, for your wife. What about dear old dad?

[Kevin Ryan]

And listen, I got to be honest with you. If listen to this show, good chance your parents are divorced. Your dad's going to need it.

[H. Foley]

Very nice. Keep up what's going on in the.

[Kevin Ryan]

Family because, you know, he's checked out.

[H. Foley]

But I'll tell you what, you know, it's actually, it's actually great for dad because what the dads love their grandkids doing, they want to see him in sports, playing ball. You can't make every game on a Wednesday up at Abington or wherever you got to go. But you know, if your son or daughter is posting pictures of Johnny at the game, cracking a dinger, you know, the dads love that stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

So this Father's Day get the greatest gift in the world. Aura Frames. He could throw it right on the countertop while he's making dinner, making a stew for himself. Maybe some navy bean soup or something like that. Like, oh, look at that. Jimmy's doing good over in baseball.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Aura Frames was named best digital photo frame by wire. And it's easy to see why. There's unlimited storage, as you know, so you can add as many photos, videos, funny memes as you can find. And it's so simple to set up. You just plug it in and share away, baby. For the guy who swore he didn't need anything or a frame proves him wrong. Ora as a great deal for Father's Day for a limited time, listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $30 off on their best selling Carver mat frame. That's Aura. Auraframes.com promo code garbage. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

[H. Foley]

Kit, we got talking about Lucy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, Lucy. Lucy.

[H. Foley]

And I think it's safe to say we are officially a Lucy family over here.

[Kevin Ryan]

You ain't lying, Big Dog.

[H. Foley]

Garbage. And you know why? Because they have so many fun products.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got a lot. Listen, they're in it. They got a lot of good stuff.

[H. Foley]

They got the breakers, which has a little extra flavor, a little hydration, which you need when you, when you, when you. When you're doing your nicotine. You know what I mean? Talking about a hundred percent pure nicotine. Lucy breakers or nicotine pouch with a little extra surprise. As I said, each pouch holds a capsule that contained that when you prop it open, contains a little release of flavor, a little hydration. Set yourself up with a subscription and Lucy can be delivered straight to your door.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, as the big man said, it's a hundred percent pure nicotine. Always tobacco free. And that is important when you're searching for nicotine.

[H. Foley]

What is this, the 50s?

[Kevin Ryan]

I know they were nice enough to send them to us. I mean, they, they, you know, God.

[H. Foley]

The boys love them.

[Kevin Ryan]

They laced up the boys. As the big man said, it's everyone's every. Everyone in the family is. Is a Lucy's man.

[H. Foley]

Reminds me, I gotta take a pack home or.

[Kevin Ryan]

Lady, let's level up your nicotine routine with Lucy. Go to Lucy Co Garbage and use the promo code garbage. You get 20% off your first order. Lucy has a 30 day refund policy. If you change your mind again, that's Lucy Co. Use a promo code garbage. You get 20% off. And here comes the fine print, guys. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age. And every order is age verified.

[H. Foley]

Warning.

[Kevin Ryan]

This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is addictive chemicals. Now back to the show.

[H. Foley]

Back to the show. So. But they're both still in the same hometown.

[Josh Johnson]

No, no. So my dad passed in 20.

[H. Foley]

Sorry to hear that.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, he. He passed in 2016.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

And my mom and the rest of my like close family is over in Georgia now.

[H. Foley]

They moved to Georgia?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Is your mom retired or is she still working?

[Josh Johnson]

No, she's retired.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha. Okay, good. Nice. Did she move with like the aunt and like everybody was in that house?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. So my, so my mom and my aunt are in Georgia and my granddad had also moved to Georgia after my grandma Passed away and yeah, he passed away a little while back, but yeah, like 20, 21. But yeah. Now my mom and my aunt are in Georgia. It's very easy to.

[H. Foley]

So that's home based now. When you go home, that's where you're going.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, it's a hub to a hub. So it's like I live in New York and it's finally an easy flight to see my mom.

[Kevin Ryan]

What a comic at heart.

[H. Foley]

That's crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's a hub to a hub. That's an easy flight for.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

I just did a little crowd work, plus the website.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. You have no idea the trials it would be to get home and like, and how expensive it would be. I was like, it would be like. And this is, you know, I'm still working at the grocery store, stuff like that. This is when I'm like doing comedy, but I'm just doing open mics. It'd be like 650 to get home to a place that nobody's trying to get to.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Josh Johnson]

It's like, how is it expensive to get here?

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

So you're out of there now? The family's out of there?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, I saw some family there and I'll. I'll see them once in a while. But as far as like when you're going home? When I'm going, yeah. For holidays.

[Kevin Ryan]

Georgia, you touch it, you touch on a little bit. What was the first job growing up?

[Josh Johnson]

I worked at a restaurant. Mexican restaurant.

[Kevin Ryan]

A Mexican restaurant?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. When I was 16.

[H. Foley]

16.

[Kevin Ryan]

Waiting or busing tables.

[Josh Johnson]

So I started as a chip boy. I brought the chips and salsa. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a first. That was your only responsibility?

[Josh Johnson]

It was my main one. Yeah. Ye.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I'll be on salsa.

[Josh Johnson]

Cuz to be fair, at the time I was like, I was like, man, I got more potential than chips. But then give me the guacamole, boss.

[H. Foley]

I'm telling you, I can do it.

[Josh Johnson]

But then looking back and like also having to work with 16 year olds when I was even 18, I was like, I understand why they just started. Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Try not to screw this up, Johnson.

[Josh Johnson]

And then I started busting tables. But like, soon after, to be fair, so it's like chips was like.

[Kevin Ryan]

Chips was the first like your orientation.

[Josh Johnson]

Orientation start? Yeah, Chips was first week. And then after a week they were like, all right, he's not like a complete.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's got chips a lot.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, he understands chips and dip together to the table. And then I was bussing tables that's.

[Kevin Ryan]

Interesting because to me, it would go bussing, then chips. Anything you're. You're. Anything with food is typically. Would be above.

[Josh Johnson]

But you guys are not to make bussing tables sound more difficult than it is. But I have in not, not even in one restaurant. Like in many other restaurant situations. I've watched people bus tables in a way where I was like, oh, they need him doing something else.

[Kevin Ryan]

He needs to be on chips.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because like, I don't know, put you.

[H. Foley]

On ice for a little while.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Take.

[Josh Johnson]

Take some care when you're stacking the plates of the cups. Yeah. I mean, I've just, I've watched. I've been at restaurants where people walk up and bust the table by sliding everything off with one arm.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I'm like, you've seen me bust tables before. I did. I remember the one time I put a glass in a glass that had too much liquid in it and that overflowed and this big waitress slipped on it. And I mean, it was, it was a scene in the. In the dining room.

[H. Foley]

How was that Mexican restaurant?

[Josh Johnson]

It was amazing.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

All right, so that's. You're doing that in high school, were you playing any sports?

[Josh Johnson]

None. Well, I played. I played soccer when I was a. When I was really little. And I actually talk about it on stage sometimes, about how I was part of like a sort of like community intramural. You know those things where it's like, no one believes in these kids.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Josh Johnson]

Like these. You're. We are actually one step below Bad News Bears.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Josh Johnson]

As far as. So I. Yeah. So I was on one of those for baseball and I was on one of those for soccer and baseball. I was somehow more. Because I had asthma growing up, so soccer was never gonna be like the move, you know what I mean? Like, I couldn't outrun the condition. And then you would think baseball would be better since it's like more slower, more static, less spurts of running. And then basically I have. No, you're okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're warm for 1pm yeah.

[H. Foley]

Because we were speaking. Supposed to be here in three or two. I apologize.

[Josh Johnson]

No, you're good. You're good. So baseball was somehow worse because I'm left handed when I write and even drawing, stuff like that. And I'm not even good at drawing, but I'm just left handed.

[H. Foley]

Sure. So you're left handed.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's even criticizing himself. He's like, listen, I'm not.

[Josh Johnson]

But then when it comes to throwing a ball, I'm right Handed what? But because I was little, I didn't know how to communicate any of that. And so then the first day of like, T ball, they were like, which hand do you write with? That was like. That was like their question for like, what side they were going to put you on. Everything. Which made sense for every single kid but me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Josh Johnson]

And so then they put me on the wrong side to bat the wrong side of a mitt and everything. And so then the thing that made the most sense to me as a. And I'm little, but this was still very dumb, is that if, like a ball got hit by like one of the bigger kids with coordination and it was going up in the air, it's coming at me in the outfield. Cause they made me outfield because I was trash.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha.

[Josh Johnson]

It made more sense to just go ahead and catch with my right hand and then throw it with my right hand. But because I told them that I was left handed, there's also like, they put the glove. They've just everything was messed up. And so then I would take off my glove to throw the ball and they'd be like, what are you doing? And then no one really put it together that it was like, oh, it's just everything's on the wrong side.

[H. Foley]

So you might have been in special ed. Switchburgh.

[Josh Johnson]

I was in, like special ed. Up sports. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

That's crazy.

[Josh Johnson]

My P.E. was not impressive.

[H. Foley]

So is that because they trained you? Like, should you have had the glove. You should have had the glove on your right hand and you should have thrown left hand. Or is that naturally. How you.

[Josh Johnson]

So from what I was told.

[H. Foley]

That's nuts.

[Josh Johnson]

What I was told, which was loud because I was very frustrating because I said that I write with my left hand. I should have been throwing with my left hand. Putting the, like the mitt on this hand.

[Kevin Ryan]

Throw with your right hand.

[Josh Johnson]

But I throw with my right hand. So I would try to catch it with this one, then take it off, then throw. And it was just we were losing.

[H. Foley]

Like a guy with one arm.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

How many. How many kids did you graduate with in elementary school?

[Josh Johnson]

Oh, in high school.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Josh Johnson]

Geez.

[H. Foley]

Less than a couple hundred.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Small town.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Josh Johnson]

Way less. I mean, I think 500. Went to the whole school from. From seven. Yeah. Probably 100 people.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

And what was the name of that high school?

[Josh Johnson]

Holy Savior Menard. It was Catholic.

[H. Foley]

You went to a Catholic school?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Very nice.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

All right, Good stuff. Uniform. The whole nine yards.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. Uniform. Everything.

[H. Foley]

Go to get to go to church every week.

[Josh Johnson]

They had mass Wednesday mornings before classes started.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha. Yeah, gotcha. Ours was Thursday in elementary.

[Kevin Ryan]

What was that high school mascot?

[Josh Johnson]

An Eagle.

[Kevin Ryan]

Eagles are pretty good. What do you have over there, Dr. Lucas?

[Josh Johnson]

They don't have a Wikipedia.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really?

[Josh Johnson]

We do.

[Kevin Ryan]

We find out if the guest is notable. Alumedia Senatori, College of Louisiana. He is notable alumni.

[Josh Johnson]

Oh, sweet. Sweet. Oh, it's all happening.

[Kevin Ryan]

Take that, D ball coach.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

How were the grades? I assume good?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. Yeah, I was really good all the way up until about seventh grade. It was like, nothing could touch me. And then at, like, eighth grade, the math hit hard.

[Kevin Ryan]

That comes in quick.

[Josh Johnson]

And so the math started like there was. There was a certain pieces of logic.

[H. Foley]

I always thought you were a genius.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, I mean, I don't know, man. I.

[H. Foley]

Like seventh grade. Dude, I thought you were gonna say college.

[Josh Johnson]

No, no, no. So eighth grade. Eighth grade. The math hit hard. I was getting good grades and everything else. And then my. I didn't have trouble again. Once I understood the algebra, I was fine until senior year, they put me in AP Biology, and that was too much. And I didn't want to be in AP Biology, but I had basically the way that my classes ran. I had to basically be in the higher level of science, which I didn't even qualify for, just to make my schedule work, which is insane.

[Kevin Ryan]

You've been getting applied wrong the whole. Your whole life, dude.

[Josh Johnson]

The whole time they've been putting the glove on the wrong hand, Even with AP Biology. I told my teacher, I was like, hey, I'm really not supposed to be in here. The teacher went to the principal, was like, hey, you really not supposed to be in here. And then the principal was like a baseball glove on his foot. What to tell you. And then I even offered. I was like, look, I will come early. I will come early every day just to study for the regular science class that the rest of the seniors are taking. And then I'll just take those tests. Can I just do that?

[Kevin Ryan]

Wow.

[Josh Johnson]

And they were like, no. And I don't know if it's. Cause they didn't believe I would do it or if it was that old thinking. Like, basically, in the same way that Covid broke people's brains, it also opened up how many people were lying this entire time. Like, how many. How many places you've worked where you're like, can I work from home for this very special occasion? Like, I'm literally sick. Can I work from home? I'll still work.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'll throw up.

[Josh Johnson]

And Work. And they're like, no, it's just not sustainable. And it's like, no, it was. And then. And then I offered to, like. I literally offered to come, like, come in so they could see me in the building and just do all the reading. And so I was like, I'll do it in front of whoever and just let me take the test.

[Kevin Ryan]

And they were like, nah, you're better than me. I got. Dude, in eighth or ninth grade, I got put in special ed math, and I didn't belong in it. And I took it as. Keep my mouth shut and just ride this out.

[H. Foley]

Take the easy A.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what I mean?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. Yeah. So then that was like a C class for me.

[H. Foley]

So that's pretty good.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got a grade. You gotta. You gotta curve for the ayg. I. I mean, C is.

[H. Foley]

I'm a.

[Josh Johnson]

But no, I'm like.

[H. Foley]

I gotta. I gotta point to my freshman year of college.

[Josh Johnson]

Really?

[H. Foley]

Yeah. And I graduated.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's the smartest in his family.

[H. Foley]

I grad. I graduated. I think third or fourth last in my high school.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, but graduated's graduated.

[Kevin Ryan]

Look at you now, you know?

[H. Foley]

I mean, no matter what, hand the gloves on, baby.

[Josh Johnson]

They don't put a number over your head in the picture.

[H. Foley]

Great logic.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, that is sound logic.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, I have. Well, sorry, one more. Who was the most famous person you met growing up? Was there. It could have been a local celebrity, a news guy, the pilot of the airplane, anybody that you were like, oh, my God, there's so and so. A radio.

[Josh Johnson]

Okay. Actually, if you. If you type in, I think it's Faith Ford, and she's an actress. And I. Yes, Ford.

[Kevin Ryan]

American actress.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, I served her chips and salsa.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, that was. That was huge. I was like, oh, my gosh, that's wild.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I remember her. Okay. Born Alexandria, Louisiana.

[H. Foley]

Look at that.

[Josh Johnson]

And so sweet. Was so. Was so, so nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wow.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Look at that. That's. Was she back in town seeing family or something?

[Josh Johnson]

I think so.

[Kevin Ryan]

What else do you think? Clearly, that's a cheap.

[H. Foley]

Maybe she heard about the chips.

[Josh Johnson]

Maybe.

[Kevin Ryan]

What was she doing in her hometown?

[H. Foley]

You're living. You're. So. Most of this time in high school, you're at your. You're at your grandparents, right?

[Josh Johnson]

A good portion. A good portion of it. And then. Yeah, I think maybe. I don't. I'm trying to be fair about. Let me see. I think it was probably in. Yeah. Like 10th grade or something.

[H. Foley]

We gotcha.

[Kevin Ryan]

What was. What were the. What was the room Arrangement at that grandparents house.

[Josh Johnson]

So it would have been me and my mom sharing a room and then my aunt. Aunt in a room, My grandparents in a room. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Tough.

[H. Foley]

You guys have dinner together and all that stuff?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, we would have dinner together and everything.

[H. Foley]

Who did the cooking?

[Josh Johnson]

My grandma did a lot of the cooking.

[H. Foley]

Good.

[Josh Johnson]

And. Yeah, phenomenal. Like, like in a, in a. In a way that's like. I don't even know how you would put this, but anybody who's had their grandparents cooking, that's from like a certain time, of course, it's like there is no recipe.

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Josh Johnson]

It's like you were just alone in the house and then there's this soup that's like phenomenal that you. And you didn't write anything down on how to make it. So it's like, you know, towards, towards the last year of all of us living together. I think it was my mom or my aunt that asked my grandma to start like writing down a couple of these things.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, just home runs. Yeah. It's my Anne Marie Catherine's vegetable soup and rice pudding. It's like, it hits a nostalgic thing that you just can't.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah. I don't even know what's in it because it's like you, you were sick before you ate it. Yeah. And then you eat it and then three coughs later you're healed.

[H. Foley]

What was the vacations like? Were you guys going anywhere? Were you doing anything? Things were tight, I assume in that period.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, I mean, I. I think. Okay. So at one point my aunt had moved away.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

And so when I was. I'm trying to even remember, I think I would have been like 8 years old or something like that. My aunt moved to like Mesquite, Texas or something. And I was just like heartbroken. I was like, you can't leave. What are you doing? And I'm sure that was heartbreaking. Cause she was like, we were always hanging out and stuff. Gotcha. And so I know we went to visit her I think about two times. And then she had moved back. She wasn't really gone that long in the grand scheme of things.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha. Gotcha. So no real vacations? Disney World, the beach?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't think nothing like that.

[H. Foley]

What were you doing in the summers? You were just working in the summers?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, once I was 16, I was like working in the summers and when I was little, before I was working during the summer, I was just like at the library with my mom.

[H. Foley]

Were you reading at the library? Do you read A lot.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, I would read and I do a lot of the stuff that my mom had planned at the library because she also became like the youth coordinator and everything. And so I was right around the age that it was all of a sudden, like my mom was teaching at my school because I was at the age that she was pitching the events for Gotcha.

[H. Foley]

So you're helping her. Good guy, man. Good guy. All right, you got that. Then you go to college. What was the social scene like in high school, Jeff? Friends and all that stuff? Pretty tight.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. I mean, yeah, I made some good friends. The friends that I made in elementary school. Or like my best friend I met when I was like, four.

[H. Foley]

Still best friends?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, gotcha.

[H. Foley]

Is he still back there?

[Josh Johnson]

No, no, he lives in LA now, but he actually, like, directs my specials and stuff.

[H. Foley]

There we go.

[Kevin Ryan]

So many comments.

[H. Foley]

Couple of small town boys made good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Baby do well to bring their homies along. You love to see it.

[H. Foley]

Get your own chips and salsa. This kid's killing it.

[Josh Johnson]

And then, and then basically outside of that, yeah, I did have, like a core group of friends that I'd hang out with for the most part during school, and then a couple of people who I would hang out with that went to different schools.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha.

[Josh Johnson]

But yeah, there wasn't a huge amount. There was a slight amount for these periods of time that feel longer when you're a kid, but in retrospect were like a month where you try to have a different group of friends, but then you realize that they're like out of their mind or something. Thing.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, you're like in the backseat of a car. Like, what the hell am I?

[H. Foley]

Any trouble? Any trouble when you were a kid? Arrested? Anything like that? No drinking, Nothing like that. No smoking, doobies? No house parties? Anything like that?

[Josh Johnson]

No, no. Like I, I, I went to a, a few parties, but, like, I didn't drink. And I feel like I missed, I missed out on like, that, that curve of when you're supposed to drink because I was too scared of getting caught and getting in trouble.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Josh Johnson]

As a, as a K. And I was like, I don't know. Like, by college I had the reputation for being sober. So then people would make me the designated everything except driver. Like, I was like, not the driver. But they'd be like, oh, yeah, just walk back with Josh, he's not drunk, or like, you know, whatever. And so then I almost felt this weird responsibility, like I couldn't drink because now everyone, in fact, I was about to have my first drink. In college, it was a real thought in my head. Cause I was like, you know what? I'm 21. Maybe. Who knows? Everyone seems to be having a good time. This. This drink at least smells delicious. Because a lot of alcohol also stank. And so I was like, yeah, the.

[Kevin Ryan]

In my head stank real good, baby.

[Josh Johnson]

In my head, I was like, this stinks, so I don't know if I want. And then, like, my friend's sick the next day. It just doesn't. I don't know. And. And so the only time I really thought, like, maybe I'll have a drink, right? I was in my. Yeah, like, junior year, I turned 21. I was at my fraternity house.

[H. Foley]

All right, in your fraternity?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. And I was at my fraternity house. And then I'm standing outside, and I was like, yeah, you know, maybe. And then I turn around to go back inside the house. Cause I was just chilling, you know, like, taking a break to myself and everything.

[H. Foley]

Tornado ripped the house apart.

[Josh Johnson]

As I turn around, this kid fell off the roof.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was me.

[Josh Johnson]

And, like, fell off the roof in front of me so perfectly. And, like. And he gets up and, like, gets up immediately. Cause it's not like our. Like, we. The lip of our roof was not high. And so still a roof. It's still a roof.

[H. Foley]

It's not.

[Josh Johnson]

The floor gets up immediately and is like, ah. And, like, I don't know what he had. I mean, he may have broke his forearm. I have no idea. But he just got. And I was like, oh, yeah, maybe.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, maybe it's not for me.

[Josh Johnson]

And then. And then I moved to Chicago and I was like, too broke to, like, a new thing.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha.

[Kevin Ryan]

Also, if you're on the fence about drinking, you go to Chicago and see those drunks.

[H. Foley]

It's like, yeah, that makes sense.

[Kevin Ryan]

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[Josh Johnson]

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[H. Foley]

What was the first concert you went.

[Josh Johnson]

To was a Ben Folds concert.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, it was a Ben Folds concert as part of orientation in college. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

And you didn't get on a plane until you were 24?

[Josh Johnson]

22.

[H. Foley]

22, yeah, yeah. When did you get your passport?

[Josh Johnson]

I got my passport when I was probably like 25.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, I think I, I think I specifically.

[H. Foley]

Were you going somewhere?

[Josh Johnson]

I got my passport because I was gonna go to JFL Montreal.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

All right.

[Josh Johnson]

So that was like, that was when I was like, oh, I have to get the, the year when I, I, I think I auditioned for JFL like two, three times or something like that. And the first year it was like such a long shot cuz even me getting an audition was late and so I didn't even bother because I was like, all right, maybe we'll, you know, we'll see. And then I didn't get it. Anyway.

[H. Foley]

Did you end up eventually going, did you do jfl?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, I thought so.

[H. Foley]

All right. It's just an all around good guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

Crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

What was your first call?

[Josh Johnson]

Oh, I can't drive.

[Kevin Ryan]

I had. I. I felt that way.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. I can't drive at all. No, he.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know, he just don't. Yeah, Yeah, I could feel that in your bones.

[H. Foley]

He's got the glove on his right hand.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's driving in a back seat.

[Josh Johnson]

Dude, I cannot drive. I. I would say kill so many people. Yeah. No, no, no, no.

[H. Foley]

You never got your license?

[Josh Johnson]

My. My driving test was such a disaster that the dude made me stop.

[Kevin Ryan]

No shit. How old were you?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, I was. I was 16.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

I may have taken it, I think. Yeah, I took it. What? One more time. And then I was like, guys, I'm good. I, like, just.

[Kevin Ryan]

This ain't for me. This. And drink it.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. I moved to Chicago so I could take the train.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. So I was like, they have a good public transit system in Louisiana. I had to run.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know. You could also walk. You'd have to run everywhere.

[Josh Johnson]

Well, no, I had. I had to run because I was not like an early riser. I wasn't like a morning person. So I would run to the restaurant, and the restaurant was like, three miles from my house. What, you were walking to work? Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like, that's like parolee type.

[H. Foley]

There goes that Johnson kid again.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, he's late again.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Those chips wait for nobody, I'll tell you that.

[Josh Johnson]

Because I don't know if you. Yeah, I don't. I don't know if y' all had this, but we had it to where the. We had the service road, we had the highway, and then we had the.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, we don't have real service roads up here.

[Josh Johnson]

And basically, I. You. If you. Depending on where you were going, you had to run in and out of the ditches.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[Josh Johnson]

Oh, okay.

[H. Foley]

That's what you're doing.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, It's. I mean, if you got across. Yeah, there's no. There's. Admittedly, I went from a place where I couldn't drive, but was. Was almost exclusively a driving city, of course, to a place where I could walk.

[H. Foley]

So you were walking to work three miles a day or running to work three miles a day?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, and it wasn't every day because once the family who owned the restaurant found out that I was like. Like running to work, they. They would offer me rides.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude, running to work is crazy.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

You're that kid, the guy. You're the guy that they buy the car for. And it's out in the. With the big.

[Josh Johnson]

And he's Going, I can't drive. I can't drive. No, no, no, don't it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do.

[Josh Johnson]

Do this. Don't do this. You'll kill everyone who are all gonna die.

[H. Foley]

Dodge Neon with a big bow on it.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

And he's gone. Ah, no.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Jesus, dude.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Oh, man. This is a. This is a strange mix. Okay, this is crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Growing up, at any point, did your family keep the batteries in the refrigerator?

[Josh Johnson]

Are we talking, like an Alzheimer's situation?

[Kevin Ryan]

It keeps it working. Urban legend that it keeps them working. Working an old wivestyle that it keeps them fresher.

[Josh Johnson]

No, no, no. But I remember a neighbor that I had tried to explain to me how to forge stamps.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, well, I mean, back then, they got to be, what, $0.29?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah. But he was like, no, that's like.

[Kevin Ryan]

Making a fake quarter. What's the first of.

[H. Foley]

I don't know what one has to do with the other, but I like where this is going.

[Josh Johnson]

Well, no, I just. I. I'm. I'm saying I was living in proximity to people who were probably putting their batteries in the fridge.

[Kevin Ryan]

He moves quick up there.

[Josh Johnson]

I'm.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's good.

[H. Foley]

He goes, that answers your question.

[Kevin Ryan]

But if the guy is trying to teach me how to forge stamp, he's for sure keeping his batteries.

[Josh Johnson]

I'm clearly not in the best situation. Yeah, yeah. Because he was like, no, all you got to do, like, everybody. And he was really doing letters.

[Kevin Ryan]

Are you mailing that? That's going to make it, you know, like one.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah. But he was like. He was like, no, not like he was, you know, he was in that entrepreneurial mindset.

[H. Foley]

Guy's a hustler. I don't know.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

It is startup going.

[Josh Johnson]

It is insane that, that the people, like when you look at whether it's like an Elon Musk or a Sam Altman or something like that, it's crazy that the most. The richest people have the same ideas.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mentality. Yeah.

[Josh Johnson]

As the brokest people you've ever met. Cause so many of the things that I hear come out of their mouths, especially, like a lot of the technocrats and stuff like that of a better world or a future towards AI or something like that. Is everything that I heard my pothead friends say in college that are truly doing nothing right now.

[H. Foley]

This can support stamps.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah. And so my thing is to tell me another kid, because it was a kid.

[H. Foley]

I thought it was an old man.

[Josh Johnson]

No, no, it's another kid that lived next to me that was like, hey, you Know, a lot of people buy stamps of the post office like some suckers.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not me.

[Josh Johnson]

All you gotta is put where you wanted to go as the return address.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Josh Johnson]

So he was just mailing wrong.

[H. Foley]

Oh, my God, that's fun.

[Josh Johnson]

And it was getting to where.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it's the same kidding things. If you jump out of the plane and run the other way, you'll be all right.

[H. Foley]

That's funny. All right, let's talk about now a little bit. Things are going extremely well.

[Josh Johnson]

No, thanks, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can I borrow 500?

[H. Foley]

Have you always been smart with money? Have you always been a saver?

[Josh Johnson]

I've always been scared with money. So, yeah, I guess. I guess that's like the same thing.

[H. Foley]

All right, so when you. When you started getting, you know, when you're doing the Daily show, when, you know, the tickets start going, you're doing very well. Was there a silly purchase? Is anything. Did you splurge on anything you look.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you splurge? I didn't need that. It could have been a.

[H. Foley]

Or you keep it all. Keep it all in the bank and live modestly.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, I mean, I try to, like, live modestly. Like, I don't really buy that much stuff. I like, like, everything that I buy is pretty cheap, luckily.

[H. Foley]

Okay, like, what's the apartment situation now?

[Josh Johnson]

I. I'm moved into a place with. With my girlfriend. We've been living together for a long time. Moved into a new place. So that's probably the first big, like, different thing that I've done.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

But I guess that first, like, paycheck, like when I got the pay for my special, like that first one that I did, I saved as much of it as I could, and then I like, used the rest to pay off my mom's house. And so then that was. But it's. But it's. But it's better because it's like, we get.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's got to take care of you. You say, start taking lessons from him. What the are you doing?

[H. Foley]

Jesus.

[Josh Johnson]

But it's better because it's like, then she doesn't have to worry about, you know, more than me.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're thinking about other people, not yourself.

[H. Foley]

I got coke and a big screen tv.

[Josh Johnson]

But yeah, I just don't really. I'm not into that much stuff that.

[H. Foley]

You'Re listening, Guy Sharp.

[Josh Johnson]

But. But it's like, you know, I. I will probably one day. My hope is to have like a real, like, classic library of comic books. Like, I don't. I don't necessarily splurge on the ones that are like novelty. The old, like the old first issue Spider man stuff I don't really buy, but I buy a lot of like Ed Brubaker. Like, Ed Brubaker is my favorite.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like, what's that cost?

[H. Foley]

This is the sweetest thing I've ever heard, by the way.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's like, inexpensive? I don't know, you're. I'm.

[Josh Johnson]

If you get the omnibus, like if you get the full story, then it's probably like 50 bucks. Bucks.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, it might, might run you. If it's like, if it's like a DC Marvel thing, I'll probably run you 80, but yeah.

[H. Foley]

You got cash? Get him. What are you doing? Yeah, what's the apartment? Did you buy it? Did you. Are you renting it?

[Josh Johnson]

Oh, no, I'm just renting.

[H. Foley]

You're renting?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

All right. In the city?

[Josh Johnson]

No, no, I'm in Brooklyn.

[H. Foley]

You're in Brooklyn?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

All right. Okay. He's sharp, man. He's a good guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

You are going to cause an existential crisis.

[H. Foley]

You're just a better human being than I am. It' easy. That's why I love you though.

[Kevin Ryan]

What, what's like if you go out, you know, say it's your lady's birthday or so, and you're like gonna take her out to dinner, do you like a nice dinner or you go when you splurge in there at all or. No, just kind of something a little more reserved?

[Josh Johnson]

No, no, I mean, if I, I like, I like the idea of like an experience for, for her, like a nice dinner for her or something like that. For me, maybe, maybe food is where I splurge a little bit because I try to, I try to like, eat well.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're talking to two people.

[H. Foley]

Goddamn common ground. You try to eat well?

[Josh Johnson]

Well, yeah, yeah. Like good, like, like, like healthy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, yeah, that's another thing. We'll get into another episode.

[Josh Johnson]

But yeah, sometimes you'll, you know, like, like, if you go to like a good example is like Katsunori, you know, the, the hand roll place. It's like. Yeah, if you, if you go there, that is depending on how much you end up eating. That is expensive. But yeah, that'll probably like, you know, that's like 50 bucks.

[H. Foley]

But normally you eat pretty well. You keep, keep it tight at the house.

[Josh Johnson]

I. Yeah, I try to as best I can. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Are you working out? You're working out.

[Kevin Ryan]

You just dropped a fifty dollar dinner and you're like, yeah, that'll breakfast.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, or if it's like, if it's someone's birthday, that's when I'll, like, really splurge. Like so. So for instance, like. Like I had the shows in London.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Josh Johnson]

And they fell on my girlfriend's birthday.

[Kevin Ryan]

Beautiful.

[Josh Johnson]

And so she came and she came to London and everything. And then we had a big dinner with. That came out very nice. So like every. You know, everybody came and that was really special. So I took care of that.

[H. Foley]

What'd you drop on dinner?

[Kevin Ryan]

Two grand.

[H. Foley]

Three grand?

[Josh Johnson]

I think it was 75. That would have been great if it had been £50. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, at the. I. I don't know what the conversion is, but at the end of the. At the end of the dinner for Everybody was like 9:32 or something like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

932.

[Josh Johnson]

932 pounds?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. So probably 15, something like that.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Around there.

[H. Foley]

That's not. This kid's killing it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

We gotta get some of this cake. This is crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. Huh.

[H. Foley]

What about in the apartment?

[Kevin Ryan]

Hold on.

[H. Foley]

Sorry.

[Kevin Ryan]

What about a vacation? Will you treat. You're working hard, you're flying all over to all over the. Korea, all over the world.

[H. Foley]

You and the lady go down to the islands or go to the beach.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I mean, take the G train all the way to the end.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, I will. I'll take, like a vacation. If my. If my girlfriend wants to go somewhere, then I'm like, happy to go there and everything. But I don't really.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're not chomping it to. Bit to.

[Josh Johnson]

No, no. I don't really take vacations in that way.

[H. Foley]

Where would she. Where have you taken her? Where would she. Where does she want to go?

[Josh Johnson]

Like after London, we went to Spain. Beautiful.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

San Sebastian for like, three, three, four nights.

[H. Foley]

All right. You're taking care of all this. You got her?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

What does she do?

[Josh Johnson]

So she works at a media company and she's like, publisher for the media company she helps launch.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

Like, brand deals and stuff.

[H. Foley]

And where did you guys meet? You guys meet here?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, we met here.

[H. Foley]

Okay. And you've been dating for a while?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Beautiful.

[H. Foley]

All right.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was gonna ask you if you ever owned a switchblade, but I don't think. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

What about in the apartment? Did you sprint? Did you splurge on, like a sectional or the tv? Are you a gamer? Do you play video games?

[Josh Johnson]

I play video games, but not. I'm not great at it. I. I really am just like, getting the VR stuff. I'm into the VR. So I will buy, like, I have an Oculus 2, but I haven't bought the new one yet. So I'm, like, saving up to buy the. The new one and then saving up.

[Kevin Ryan]

What are you talking about?

[H. Foley]

Saving What? You haven't posted a video on YouTube that did under 2 million in, like, the last eight months?

[Kevin Ryan]

He's trying to rap his. This is like the. Again, polar opposites. This is a guy who spent every dollar he's ever made.

[H. Foley]

£900. What are you doing?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

What'd you say?

[Josh Johnson]

Ask him how much he spent on Yankees tickets. Yeah, no, I. So I bought my aunt a house. Oh, my gosh.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's just making you look bad.

[Josh Johnson]

Why. Why did it make you feel bad?

[H. Foley]

Because you're awesome.

[Kevin Ryan]

He just. Business manager yesterday to get paid early because he needs the money.

[H. Foley]

All right, so he put my business.

[Josh Johnson]

But, yeah. So I'm just like. Yeah, I'm trying to be.

[H. Foley]

So you bought your aunt, the one that moved to Mesquite.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

So you bought her house.

[Kevin Ryan]

She's in Georgia. They're all in Georgia.

[Josh Johnson]

They're in Georgia.

[H. Foley]

Are they near each other?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, they're close. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

So you bought. So you paid off your mom's house in Georgia, and you bought your. A house in Georgia.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

And they're chilling, and that's your. That's your tight immediate family. Family.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I mean, dude, you're. That's the. That's unbelievable. Oh, you know that, right? That's the sweetest thing I've ever very.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. I mean, do you own the house.

[H. Foley]

Or does she own the house?

[Josh Johnson]

I own the house. Yeah. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

All right. There we go.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

So you own some property. So you. So you have. Man, you have spent the money that you're making, but just in a very good way and smart way way.

[Josh Johnson]

Oh, I hope so. Yeah, that. That's the. That's the. The point.

[Kevin Ryan]

Somebody splurging said $50 comic books, and I don't think he's. I don't even think he's really like. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

$900 dinner. How many people were at that dinner?

[Josh Johnson]

Maybe it was ten. Ten?

[H. Foley]

Yeah, it's like 60 bucks ahead. I thought you were going to say nine grand.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not. That's not that math either, but that's pretty easy to divide by. Dan, you say, I think. I think we're getting to the root of your problem. $4 million. That's like $10.

[H. Foley]

All right, let's go into the house a little bit. Some garbage things.

[Josh Johnson]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

See if we can Find a little dirt under these fingernails. Are you peeing in the shower?

[Josh Johnson]

No. No, no, no.

[Kevin Ryan]

You brush your teeth in the shower?

[Josh Johnson]

Nah. Then you got spit on your feet.

[H. Foley]

Huh.

[Kevin Ryan]

Never heard that logic.

[H. Foley]

Are you using a bar soap or using body wash?

[Josh Johnson]

I use the body wash. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

And do you use it hand on skin or do you have like a loofer or something?

[Josh Johnson]

So we have both, so. Yeah. Sometimes it depends. It's like if I'm. If I'm chilling, if I don't have to, like be anywhere.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

Then sometimes just like regular washcloth, you know, and then if it's like, I'm in a rush, it's the.

[H. Foley]

It's the loofah. Are you flossing every day?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Brush your teeth in the morning, end at night?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

No kidding. You read before you go to bed?

[Josh Johnson]

Bed, I try to, but yeah, I don't really get to it often.

[H. Foley]

Are you on your phone when you go to bed?

[Josh Johnson]

I'm usually on my phone, like. But I'll. I guess. I guess I am reading, but I'm. But I'm reading on my phone, which is not the same energy. Like it. It actually keeps you awake.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, but the blue light again.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

King size bed. Queen size bed.

[Josh Johnson]

So. Yeah, we had a queen for a long time and now we have a king.

[H. Foley]

Nice.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

Letting your hair down a little bit.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

How do you, what do you sleep in? Like boxers? Your pajamas?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah. Sweats. I sleep in my pajamas.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, you wear pajamas?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah. I got my like sweatpants on that I would work out in. They like double up.

[H. Foley]

It's like actual pajamas.

[Josh Johnson]

No, not like a onesie. Not like, not like a.

[Kevin Ryan]

You two being from a different planet.

[H. Foley]

Dude, I pictured him with like, he would put on like the. The pajama shirt, the pajama pants.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's not splurging for pajamas.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, no, no. Pajamas for me is just a short sleeve shirt and the sweatpants.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

Are you a slippers man?

[Josh Johnson]

No, actually I want to be, but I. I think my feet sweat.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Josh Johnson]

So it's like I can't. I can't get it the way that I want to get. Like, I've. I've tried twice and I've ruined two pairs of slippers.

[H. Foley]

Are you sleeping on your side or back?

[Josh Johnson]

I try so hard to sleep on my back, but I turn.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Are you hugging a pillow? You got one between your legs, one head. How many pillows are you operating with?

[Josh Johnson]

Is that, Is that like a Normal thing that people hug the pillow?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Josh Johnson]

Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

You don't hug. You're not. You're not spooning a pillow at all?

[Josh Johnson]

No. Wait, what?

[H. Foley]

It's getting bulletproof.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know.

[Josh Johnson]

Is that. That. That y' all aren't messing with me. That's.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, between your legs is for.

[Josh Johnson]

Like, a back problem.

[Kevin Ryan]

Pregnant women and larger guys.

[H. Foley]

Heavier gentlemen. So when you sleep on your side, you have one pillow. You have one pillow behind your head and you sleep on your side.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

Did you have a ceiling fan? Is there a fan going?

[Josh Johnson]

No, no ceiling fan.

[H. Foley]

You fall asleep with the TV on?

[Josh Johnson]

No, not anymore. Like I did when I was a kid.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Keep that. Keeps the scaries out.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You cooking at the house?

[Josh Johnson]

I can't cook well, so I. So I have. I have a couple things I can make, and then that's about it.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you. What can you make?

[Josh Johnson]

You feel? I. I do some, like, nice omelets and everything. Stuff that's, like, not that difficult. I'll do, like, a special little taco mix and everything. Like, cook up the ground beef and season it pretty well. And then it's like, very simple stuff, literally enough to keep you alive on the regular.

[H. Foley]

Is that what you're doing, or do you guys order in?

[Josh Johnson]

No. So in the move, I've had to order more just because I'm not around as much. So it's like I'm touring on the weekend, and then I have daily show during the week, of course. And then I get home and. Yeah, there's not. There's not always enough time.

[H. Foley]

So what would be a typical dinner for you and the Mrs. Right? You guys would. She'd get home from work, you guys would order dinner. What would you normally get?

[Josh Johnson]

There is a phenomenal place in. In Brooklyn called warud.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

And it is like a Asian Mexican fusion place. And so they have tacos there, like grilled shrimp or chicken mole, but they might have. Have. They might have it spiced in a way that you wouldn't find, like, traditional Mexican place. They also have these like. Like ramen bowls that are. I don't even know what you would. Would call it exactly, but yeah, they have these, like, salmon bowls and everything, so I get that a lot.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

I get that.

[H. Foley]

Ramen.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. Especially once I get back into town. Like, if I just flew back in and everything. I don't really have the energy to cook, so.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha. You're doing smoothies during the day?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah. I'll try to either do a juice or a Smoothie. But mostly try to drink a lot of water.

[H. Foley]

Drink a lot of water. You don't really eat breakfast and stuff like that.

[Josh Johnson]

I was, for a while, For a while I was very good about like kick starting the meals and everything because I was just like, I was on like a real mission to be like a certain, I don't know, like a certain weight and a certain level of strength that I lost before the, like right before the pandemic.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

So in 2019 was probably like the biggest I've ever been and I was the fittest I had ever been.

[H. Foley]

Huh.

[Josh Johnson]

And I was like doing really well in the, in the gym and I felt really good and I kept up with it as best as I could into Covid. But then by not having access to a gym, it just all started to be like calisthenics, which is fine, but. And, and then once things actually took off, I exercise calisthenics.

[H. Foley]

I haven't heard intentions.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I mean, you try to keep up with. You bite your fingernails.

[Josh Johnson]

No, no, no.

[H. Foley]

Do you get manicures?

[Josh Johnson]

No. Does it look like I.

[H. Foley]

No, they're just.

[Josh Johnson]

Oh, no, I just. I didn't know if it was a question or. Because you looked at my fingers right before, so I was like, that's like. That felt like you were gonna. I wonder if he's gonna lie to me. Do you get manicures? Like you were looking right at my hands? No, I don't. I don't.

[H. Foley]

I gotta just click clip them.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, I just clip them, throw them out.

[H. Foley]

You don't throw them behind the couch or anything like that?

[Josh Johnson]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[H. Foley]

This guy's good.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're all the happiest guys.

[Josh Johnson]

Even if I throw it behind the couch, I still live there. Like, they're going to come to roost one day.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. And they do. Your wife will find them. Now let's go back to you. You're ordering that takeout. You get the tacos season differently. That gets delivered or picked up, whatever. You get back to the house that's in the container. Are you putting that on a plate and eating it? Are you eating it out of the container it came in?

[Josh Johnson]

Oh, that's a great question. So it is a. It depends on what I order. So sometimes when you order something, like, let's say there's a place. I'm trying to remember what their, what their name is because they. Because they're phenomenal. There's another place in Brooklyn with like an agnolotti that's really good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

And I've tried to put. Put it in a bowl and you know, get, get all the sauce out and everything like that. And it is just not the same.

[Kevin Ryan]

Doesn't hit the same.

[Josh Johnson]

It's not. It's not even when it's hot, even when I get it immediately. And that's the first thing that I do. Not even putting it in the microwave or anything. I'm like, I'm gonna eat it like this.

[H. Foley]

That's a very interesting point.

[Josh Johnson]

It does not. There's some things, and it's probably because we're eating out of black plastic that isn't meant to go in the human body. But there are some things where, where if you have a specific sauce or like a roux that something is sitting in it's getting.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ruse.

[Josh Johnson]

It's not, it's not gonna.

[Kevin Ryan]

It needs to be in that order, that order of operation.

[Josh Johnson]

It needs to be in the order it was dropped in right after it was.

[Kevin Ryan]

I completely agree.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

This guy's all fucking classic. I got nothing to say. I got no other.

[H. Foley]

And that was walking in both worlds. That appeals to my trashy fat guy nature, what you're saying. But it's also very thought out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Correct?

[H. Foley]

Correct.

[Kevin Ryan]

And he said rue. You would have said gravy or something. I mean, the kids. Kid is all class.

[Josh Johnson]

I mean, if we're trying to find some, some trash, I can. Okay, let me see the. What can you type in? Okay, actually, no, no, I'll type it in. Because if it's, if it's too hard, if it's too hard to find, then I don't.

[H. Foley]

Murdered six people.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just picture of a bunch of bodies. Oh yeah, this was me, by the way.

[H. Foley]

I mean, listen, are you a cologne guy? Use cologne?

[Josh Johnson]

No, no, I don't really go for it that much.

[H. Foley]

Jewelry, chains, anything like that. You like a watch?

[Josh Johnson]

I'm pretty robable, so I've let. I've let the jewelry go. I. I tried to wear a chain for a little bit. Edit, Edit.

[Kevin Ryan]

What kind of sneaks you got on Only Cloud or On Clouds or whatever?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, the. On Clouds. They're very comfortable, sensible.

[Kevin Ryan]

What kind of jeans?

[Josh Johnson]

Jeans? I think these are leaf Levi's.

[Kevin Ryan]

Guy's got Levi's Sharp. The patented hoodie. What's the hoodie? What's the. You know.

[Josh Johnson]

You know what's crazy about the.

[Kevin Ryan]

You spend the money on the hoodie. That's a little bit of your trademark. It's, you know, you're very known.

[Josh Johnson]

A lot of these are gifts now. Like. Yeah, people get me like hoodies for my birthday. Yeah. I mean, sometimes fans get me hoodies, but like.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that people know you're a hoodie guy to go. What's. What's Josh gonna like? Boom.

[H. Foley]

Hoodie guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, you with a nice hoodie.

[Josh Johnson]

Okay, so just to give you an indication of what the stay is like, like in, in Alexandria, there's a place called the Greenbrier Motel.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

Right.

[Kevin Ryan]

And this is where you would stay.

[Josh Johnson]

No, I wouldn't stay here, but a lot of people have and some of my friends live there for a little bit or like, at least friends. I was like, you know, you're trying.

[H. Foley]

To find something garbage about you that's not about you from your hometown, which we just.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, that's not great though.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. A lot of fridges outside.

[Kevin Ryan]

A lot of outdoor fridges that needs a new roof. Dr. Pepper mission doctor.

[H. Foley]

This has nothing to do with him. This is the humble beginning.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is the humble beginning.

[H. Foley]

This is the close you could get to something. Trashy is a bad hotel in the small town that you grew up in. I mean, and got out of and bought your mom and your aunt a house in Georgia.

[Josh Johnson]

But if, but if you. But if you go to the exterior photos, I think there's a dog on the roof. I think there's one there. Where?

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, there is. There's a dog on the roof.

[Josh Johnson]

So that dog loved being on the roof. I don't know whose dog that was, but that dog would be on the roof.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, not a good. Came from humble beginnings. Not a great area.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. That doesn't matter.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got out. You're. You're doing. I mean, you walked to work. He ran to work.

[H. Foley]

Ran to work. You don't. You. You're not drinking. You. You were, you were good to your friends. Designated walker. All right. They can't drive the left handed glove thing.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, that is.

[H. Foley]

I'll give you that.

[Josh Johnson]

That's a real motor skills issue.

[Kevin Ryan]

Where we were a few, A few personal decisions away around junior high or high school.

[H. Foley]

Right.

[Kevin Ryan]

That would have went the other way.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what I mean? Listen, you were in the setting.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

To be chasing that dog on a roof.

[Josh Johnson]

But yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're not. You're not at the Greenbrier hard working, responsible.

[H. Foley]

You're good with your money. You're not biting your nails. You're not peeing in the shower.

[Kevin Ryan]

Smart kid.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

All class, man.

[H. Foley]

Do you do any fast food at all? Will you have Mickey D's or Wendy's or anything like that?

[Kevin Ryan]

That.

[H. Foley]

Nah you don't put that in the body.

[Josh Johnson]

Well, it just. I, I want to because everyone looks like that. It's literally like drinking. Everyone looks like they're having so much fun and I fall off a roof.

[H. Foley]

In front of you with a Big Mac in my hand.

[Josh Johnson]

But it's just like. I don't know. I guess the way I put it is that I don't, I don't do a lot of what I do out of like trying to be a better person. I just don't like the inconvenience of what it's going to feel like later.

[Kevin Ryan]

Smart.

[Josh Johnson]

That makes sense. He's like so fucking like. I used to eat chick fil A fries.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Josh Johnson]

But then I was like this. I feel sick.

[Kevin Ryan]

You feel bad?

[Josh Johnson]

I think they changed the oil. Cuz when I was little it didn't matter.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. Yeah. It's also.

[Josh Johnson]

But I was also a kid. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's an age thing. You bounce back as a kid.

[Josh Johnson]

And then with drinking. My friends who drink, I'm. I'm envious of. Because I'm just very aware when I'm not having fun at a party. Like everyone else is like chatting and I'm. And dancing. I'm. And I'm like. You really feel like dancing? This place sucks.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. But the real sad part is when you're drunk and you're also not having fun at the party and you're like, this is. You're in a dark, dark spot when that happens, man.

[H. Foley]

This doesn't happen often, my friend. 100% class.

[Kevin Ryan]

All class, man.

[Josh Johnson]

Oh, really?

[Kevin Ryan]

Love to see it.

[Josh Johnson]

Oh, thanks, thanks.

[H. Foley]

Unbelievable.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You're about to head over to Europe. You got your European tour going. JoshJohnsonComedy.com the YouTube is killing it.

[Josh Johnson]

Oh, thanks, man.

[H. Foley]

You're on the road. Anything else you want to focus out there tonight you got coming up.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. So this tour is the Flowers Tour and called it the Flowers Tour. Not just because every place has their own designated or distinct flower. Like some states, some cities and stuff like that. But the tour is as best as possible being built around different forms of volunteer work and everything. And so we'll try to get people to come out to the.

[H. Foley]

Get out of here. Shut up.

[Kevin Ryan]

But like, sorry, yeah, I apologize for my jealousy. His dirtbag friend.

[Josh Johnson]

But, but basically we'll, we'll do our best in. In each city that has somebody who can come out to the show to have like a booth there so that people know what's already happening. Because like a lot of, A lot of like what Goodwill projects and like. And like, community efforts look like. It seems like so insurmountable because people think that they're gonna have to start the entire thing. And it's like, you have a life to live, so you can't necessarily start an entire or, like, community project. But most of them are already happening.

[Kevin Ryan]

And so you're just bringing light to. Yeah, yeah, I'll just come here.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. Come to the show and. Yeah. Like, give out information or people can. Can donate there at the show. So it's already there, you know.

[Kevin Ryan]

The hell are you doing?

[H. Foley]

Just keep bringing me drugs at the show. He might be one of the best guy I ever met that.

[Josh Johnson]

I don't. I don't. I don't know about that.

[Kevin Ryan]

He doesn't get out much. I mean, I don't want to take away the credit it.

[H. Foley]

But that's a beautiful name of the tour, the Flowers Tour. Man, look at giving back. This guy's awesome.

[Josh Johnson]

But it is. Yeah, it's. It's been really fun. So I'm very thankful to everybody who comes out and everything. Yeah, we try to do meet and greets after the show, but sometimes it's.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, you can't do it size wise. Yeah.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. Sometimes it's size. Sometimes it's like venue curfew and stuff like that.

[H. Foley]

And so doing big shows, baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. It's great to see.

[H. Foley]

You're doing great. You're killing it. We're so proud of you. So happy for you. We love you. Like I said, we talk about you often, man.

[Josh Johnson]

I appreciate y' all.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Josh Johnson, everybody. The absolute man. I love it. We love you, Kippy.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you got for him, guys? We're on the road right now as well. Fall and winter [e-mail]. tickets are moving quick, and then due to the routing, we can't add second show, so get them while they're hot. You know what I mean, gang?

[H. Foley]

We love you, Josh. We love you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, man, I appreciate you too.