Podcast Summary: "Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast"

Episode: King of the 'Burbs
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Release Date: April 7, 2025

Introduction

In this lively episode of "Are You Garbage?," self-proclaimed garbage aficionados and hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley delve into a range of humorous and relatable suburban dilemmas. The show blends sharp wit with everyday scenarios, determining whether these situations are classy or downright trashy. This episode, titled "King of the 'Burbs," explores topics from household maintenance mishaps to quirky neighborhood encounters, all delivered with the hosts' signature comedic flair.

Hosts Introductions and Show Format

H. Foley opens the episode by setting the stage for "Are You Garbage?," a comedic game show where guests undergo a "trash test" to reveal their true colors. Kevin Ryan, dubbed the "King of the Burbs," brings his unique perspective as an International Businessman navigating suburban life. Their banter is immediate and engaging, establishing a relaxed and humorous atmosphere.

Main Topics Discussed

1. Bosley and Hair Transplants

The conversation kicks off with a humorous debate about Bosley, a renowned hair transplant service.

• Kevin Ryan explains, "It's a hair transplant technique" ([09:46]).

• Kippy (Kevin's alter ego) jokes about the cost and feasibility, saying, "Between six and 12 grand. That's cheaper than what they go." ([04:00])

The discussion highlights the lengths individuals go to maintain their appearance, blending practical advice with comedic exaggeration.

2. Home Depot vs. Lowe's Showdown

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the longstanding rivalry between Home Depot and Lowe's.

• Kippy asserts his loyalty to Home Depot, emphasizing its superiority: "It's Home Depot over Lowe's. Always has been, always will be." ([08:41])

• H. Foley counters with historical context, mentioning that Lowe's was established earlier: "Lowe's was open first. In 1929. Home Depot didn't open until 1978." ([10:07])

• Kevin Ryan provides statistical insights: "In the US there are 20, 25 Home Depots. And in the US for Lowe's, 1748." ([10:35])

The hosts explore various aspects of each store, from product offerings to customer service, all while maintaining a humorous tone. They mockingly suggest that Home Depot feels more "classy" with references to Rocco's hot dog joint and the practical needs of contractors.

3. The Fox in the Shed Saga

One of the episode's highlights is the animated discussion about a neighbor's fox living under a shed.

• Kippy shares his frustrations: "I have a fox... It's not to keep the fox out. It's to prevent Hans from going under because he had his head halfway under the thing looking." ([14:25])

• H. Foley interjects with mock seriousness, "Who would win in a fight?" ([15:14])

The exchange evolves into a humorous debate on animal behavior, property management, and the challenges of suburban wildlife coexistence. The playful argument underscores the hosts' ability to turn mundane topics into entertaining dialogues.

4. Changing Car Settings While Driving

The hosts tackle the somewhat peculiar topic of adjusting car seat settings during a drive.

• Kippy poses the question: "How long does a drive have to be until it's okay to fully be on forward and backward? Change another driver's seat settings?" ([47:26])

• H. Foley responds emphatically, "Every time you get into the car." ([47:37])

They debate the etiquette and safety implications, with H. Foley advocating for immediate adjustments for safety, while Kippy humorously dismisses the necessity unless absolutely required.

5. Stories and Anecdotes

Throughout the episode, Kippy and H. Foley share personal anecdotes and listener-submitted stories that add depth and relatability.

• Kippy recounts a childhood memory involving a payphone trick: "He said back in the 70s, when his dad was at work..." ([57:23])

• H. Foley reminisces about managing unexpected animals and household quirks, contributing to the episode's light-hearted and conversational tone.

These stories not only entertain but also highlight the hosts' chemistry and ability to connect over shared experiences.

Listener Questions and Answers

Towards the end of the episode, Kippy and H. Foley engage with listener-submitted questions, maintaining the show's interactive element.

1. Question from Jessica Byers:
   "Is it garbage to go to college classes with your mom when you were a kid?" ([45:03])

   • H. Foley and Kippy commend the ingenuity and dedication behind such actions, emphasizing the importance of family support and resilience.

2. Question from Mitchell:
   "Are you garbage if you don't smoke, but you keep a pack of heaters in your truck just so you can toss a couple out the window every time you pass the boys in orange when they throw up..." ([61:23])

   • The hosts humorously critique this behavior, blending sarcasm with playful judgment, staying true to the show's theme.

3. Additional Listener Insights:
   Questions about toll payment tricks using Necco wafers and maintaining burned-out relationships with appliances further showcase the hosts' ability to find humor in everyday challenges.

Notable Quotes

• H. Foley: "It's Home Depot over Lowe's. Always has been, always will be." ([08:41])

• Kippy: "I don't know, but I gave you." ([19:40])

• H. Foley: "That's a gentleman move." ([63:25])

• Kippy: "You are garbage if you pre-game at a dry wedding." ([54:05])

These quotes encapsulate the episode's comedic essence, highlighting the hosts' playful banter and sharp observations.

Conclusions and Closing Remarks

As the episode wraps up, H. Foley and Kippy reflect on the discussions, reaffirming their commitment to uncovering the "garbage" in everyday suburban life. They express gratitude to listeners for their contributions, hinting at future topics and encouraging audience engagement.

H. Foley concludes with enthusiasm: "That's a good one. We love you. Peace." ([65:31])

Kippy responds in kind, fostering a sense of community and anticipation for upcoming episodes.

Final Thoughts

"King of the 'Burbs" is a quintessential episode of "Are You Garbage?," blending humor with insightful commentary on suburban living. Through engaging dialogues, personal stories, and listener interactions, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley deliver an entertaining exploration of what truly makes someone "garbage" or "classy" in the eyes of everyday Americans. Whether debating the merits of Home Depot versus Lowe's or navigating the quirks of neighborhood wildlife, the hosts maintain a perfect balance of comedy and relatability, making this episode a must-listen for fans and newcomers alike.