King of the 'Burbs w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast"

Episode: King of the 'Burbs
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Release Date: April 7, 2025

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Introduction

In this lively episode of "Are You Garbage?," self-proclaimed garbage aficionados and hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley delve into a range of humorous and relatable suburban dilemmas. The show blends sharp wit with everyday scenarios, determining whether these situations are classy or downright trashy. This episode, titled "King of the 'Burbs," explores topics from household maintenance mishaps to quirky neighborhood encounters, all delivered with the hosts' signature comedic flair.

Hosts Introductions and Show Format

H. Foley opens the episode by setting the stage for "Are You Garbage?," a comedic game show where guests undergo a "trash test" to reveal their true colors. Kevin Ryan, dubbed the "King of the Burbs," brings his unique perspective as an International Businessman navigating suburban life. Their banter is immediate and engaging, establishing a relaxed and humorous atmosphere.

Main Topics Discussed

1. Bosley and Hair Transplants

The conversation kicks off with a humorous debate about Bosley, a renowned hair transplant service.

• Kevin Ryan explains, "It's a hair transplant technique" ([09:46]).

• Kippy (Kevin's alter ego) jokes about the cost and feasibility, saying, "Between six and 12 grand. That's cheaper than what they go." ([04:00])

The discussion highlights the lengths individuals go to maintain their appearance, blending practical advice with comedic exaggeration.

2. Home Depot vs. Lowe's Showdown

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the longstanding rivalry between Home Depot and Lowe's.

• Kippy asserts his loyalty to Home Depot, emphasizing its superiority: "It's Home Depot over Lowe's. Always has been, always will be." ([08:41])

• H. Foley counters with historical context, mentioning that Lowe's was established earlier: "Lowe's was open first. In 1929. Home Depot didn't open until 1978." ([10:07])

• Kevin Ryan provides statistical insights: "In the US there are 20, 25 Home Depots. And in the US for Lowe's, 1748." ([10:35])

The hosts explore various aspects of each store, from product offerings to customer service, all while maintaining a humorous tone. They mockingly suggest that Home Depot feels more "classy" with references to Rocco's hot dog joint and the practical needs of contractors.

3. The Fox in the Shed Saga

One of the episode's highlights is the animated discussion about a neighbor's fox living under a shed.

• Kippy shares his frustrations: "I have a fox... It's not to keep the fox out. It's to prevent Hans from going under because he had his head halfway under the thing looking." ([14:25])

• H. Foley interjects with mock seriousness, "Who would win in a fight?" ([15:14])

The exchange evolves into a humorous debate on animal behavior, property management, and the challenges of suburban wildlife coexistence. The playful argument underscores the hosts' ability to turn mundane topics into entertaining dialogues.

4. Changing Car Settings While Driving

The hosts tackle the somewhat peculiar topic of adjusting car seat settings during a drive.

• Kippy poses the question: "How long does a drive have to be until it's okay to fully be on forward and backward? Change another driver's seat settings?" ([47:26])

• H. Foley responds emphatically, "Every time you get into the car." ([47:37])

They debate the etiquette and safety implications, with H. Foley advocating for immediate adjustments for safety, while Kippy humorously dismisses the necessity unless absolutely required.

5. Stories and Anecdotes

Throughout the episode, Kippy and H. Foley share personal anecdotes and listener-submitted stories that add depth and relatability.

• Kippy recounts a childhood memory involving a payphone trick: "He said back in the 70s, when his dad was at work..." ([57:23])

• H. Foley reminisces about managing unexpected animals and household quirks, contributing to the episode's light-hearted and conversational tone.

These stories not only entertain but also highlight the hosts' chemistry and ability to connect over shared experiences.

Listener Questions and Answers

Towards the end of the episode, Kippy and H. Foley engage with listener-submitted questions, maintaining the show's interactive element.

1. Question from Jessica Byers:
   "Is it garbage to go to college classes with your mom when you were a kid?" ([45:03])

   • H. Foley and Kippy commend the ingenuity and dedication behind such actions, emphasizing the importance of family support and resilience.

2. Question from Mitchell:
   "Are you garbage if you don't smoke, but you keep a pack of heaters in your truck just so you can toss a couple out the window every time you pass the boys in orange when they throw up..." ([61:23])

   • The hosts humorously critique this behavior, blending sarcasm with playful judgment, staying true to the show's theme.

3. Additional Listener Insights:
   Questions about toll payment tricks using Necco wafers and maintaining burned-out relationships with appliances further showcase the hosts' ability to find humor in everyday challenges.

Notable Quotes

• H. Foley: "It's Home Depot over Lowe's. Always has been, always will be." ([08:41])

• Kippy: "I don't know, but I gave you." ([19:40])

• H. Foley: "That's a gentleman move." ([63:25])

• Kippy: "You are garbage if you pre-game at a dry wedding." ([54:05])

These quotes encapsulate the episode's comedic essence, highlighting the hosts' playful banter and sharp observations.

Conclusions and Closing Remarks

As the episode wraps up, H. Foley and Kippy reflect on the discussions, reaffirming their commitment to uncovering the "garbage" in everyday suburban life. They express gratitude to listeners for their contributions, hinting at future topics and encouraging audience engagement.

H. Foley concludes with enthusiasm: "That's a good one. We love you. Peace." ([65:31])

Kippy responds in kind, fostering a sense of community and anticipation for upcoming episodes.

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Final Thoughts

"King of the 'Burbs" is a quintessential episode of "Are You Garbage?," blending humor with insightful commentary on suburban living. Through engaging dialogues, personal stories, and listener interactions, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley deliver an entertaining exploration of what truly makes someone "garbage" or "classy" in the eyes of everyday Americans. Whether debating the merits of Home Depot versus Lowe's or navigating the quirks of neighborhood wildlife, the hosts maintain a perfect balance of comedy and relatability, making this episode a must-listen for fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Kippy]

Hey, gang. Kippy here. We're playing in the fall leg of the back on the block tour. And if you live in any of the following cities, click the link in the description and let your boys know. We got San Francisco, Portland, Oregon, Seattle, Washington, Burlington, Vermont, Boston, Massachusetts, Atlanta, Georgia, Charlotte, North Carolina, Raleigh, North Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland, and last but not least, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The boys are coming home. And we got a big one. These shows are going to go quick. Click the link in the description. Sign up for tickets. We love you. See you on the road.

[H. Foley]

Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody everybody's favorite podcast. This is RU garbage.

[Kippy]

You know it.

[H. Foley]

It's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they grow it to be classy. Yeah. Or if they're just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host, H. Foley. Coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with tooties in a new edition. She's upstairs. She's got a bag of razzles. Okay, it's candy, then it's gum. She can't figure it out. She know what the hell she's doing up there. I said it turns into gum. Don't swallow it.

[Kippy]

It's stuck in her hair. Just like what the. She's like that. She's like the girl in the. In the infome. Angels in black and white.

[H. Foley]

She can't get her head around it.

[Kippy]

She's stuck in the blind.

[H. Foley]

She's like, it's candy, it's gum. I'm like, it's both. Save me a couple.

[Kippy]

Hit me, Mike.

[H. Foley]

Coast is coming at you from across the table. This is what we call a family episode. It's just the boys, the bozos and the homies. He is the CEO of are you garbage? He is an international businessman. He's the king of the burbs, baby. Give it up for everybody's favorite American dad, Kevin James Ryan.

[Kippy]

What up, gang? Shout out to you, the new Chevy Chase, king of the burbs. First of all, thanks for tuning in as always. Just make sure you rate View subscribe on itunes. Could use a couple more reviews over there if you're listening. Bumping reviews up. Full video available on YouTube and Spotify. Shout out Spotify patreon.com our garbage. Best website in the whole wide world. Yep.

[H. Foley]

Check out the Route 66 special that's currently streaming on YouTube. On our YouTube page, Crackle. And we got the new card game out. The 2025 edition. The third edition of the Are you garbage? Card game. Play with your friends. Play with your family. Find out who's trash and who's not. And come see a live show.

[Kippy]

Yes, come see a live show. We still have. A little sudden. We had to cancel the March. I'm sorry. April 14, the Monday show in Pittsburgh.

[H. Foley]

Still coming there. Tuesday.

[Kippy]

We're still there. Tuesday.

[H. Foley]

Sold out.

[Kippy]

Sold out. No big deal. Cleveland, sold out. Still a couple of tickets left to the second show there. We unfortunately can't make it. Boys are jammed up. We can't make it. But, yeah, we love you. We'll make it up to you. And also, more dates coming down the road. Dates. We're taking a summer off. Kippy's having a goddamn baby. I got to.

[H. Foley]

So if you're in Cleveland, you want to see a show, come see that second show. Otherwise, we're going to be off for the summer.

[Kippy]

A little. Boys are taking off for the summer. I got to raise the dad. King of the burbs. What I wanted to bring up.

[H. Foley]

I wanted to tell you this before you get into that.

[Kippy]

If there's ever been an H. Foley. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. That just happened. Okay, big guy.

[H. Foley]

Luke, hand me my crowbar. You know Bosley. Still banging.

[Kippy]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Remember Bosley?

[Kippy]

You want me to get plugs? It looks like they're back. Better than ever. I'm not getting plugs, dude.

[H. Foley]

I just saw the camera. I can't believe they're still in business. They're killing it.

[Kippy]

I never understood that.

[H. Foley]

They're cheap, too.

[Kippy]

They didn't say plugs.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. I thought it was. They were wigs.

[Kippy]

I think it might have been at one point. Might have offered you many, many things. What's a Bosley go for?

[Kevin Ryan]

It's a hair transplant technique.

[Kippy]

Get the bosley.

[H. Foley]

It's got real tai chi written all over it.

[Kippy]

I can't do it, dude. I thought of. I think I was like, it's crossed my mind. I've priced it. I bought the. I've been on Expedia looking to find the turkey.

[Kevin Ryan]

Between six and 12 grand.

[Kippy]

That's cheaper than what they go.

[H. Foley]

You don't want the six.

[Kippy]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

That much I know. I just saw the commercial and I thought he. I couldn't believe they're still in business.

[Kippy]

He thought of me.

[H. Foley]

That's like Bose stereos. Remember the Bose system?

[Kippy]

Yeah, that's still like a leader in technology. Pretty cool. Sure.

[H. Foley]

Shout out to them both. Bosley and Bose.

[Kippy]

Oh, man.

[H. Foley]

Bose and Bosley. They get them together, huh? Put some speakers in your hair. Cover up that dome with some subwoofer. Anyway, I apologize. I still living off the highs of that Razzles.

[Kippy]

Saw the hippo on the TV the other day. Made me think of you.

[H. Foley]

Is that the one where he's pooping in the aquarium? That guy?

[Kippy]

Hey, try a brand muffin.

[H. Foley]

Play off the oysters. Rock a fire.

[Kippy]

That's one of my favorite things. I've said it before, but this is way before. This is before we ever started Are youe Garbage. Me and Foley were down in Philly doing. Doing a spot down there at some bad club that was mostly my family. And I guess your family would come out. We had a couple of listeners at the time of the program. We were shout out to him, but we heard. I heard that girl talk to her mom in the most Philly accent ever. She said, hey, mom, remember when we were at the aquarium and we saw the hippo poop in the water? And I was like, dude, that woman, that girl does not stand a chance.

[H. Foley]

She's dead now.

[Kippy]

She's gonna be a. She's gonna be a club. Risque. Speaking of king of the burbs, what do you got? As you know, I've been, you know, I've been documenting me being king of the burbs on Instagram. No big deal. And you know, I've been in a lot of Home Depots doing a lot of Depot runs lately.

[H. Foley]

Doing runs. Getting house ready for the baby.

[Kippy]

Getting house ready for the baby. Little, you know, you got to get, you got to get there. You paint the room, you got to get out the covers, you got to get whatever, whatever. You got all that kind of stuff. You gotta get the paint off the hardwood that you spilled. You know, there's a lot of that going on. That stuff don't come off. Get a carpet, you gotta get a.

[H. Foley]

New window through the roller through I got.

[Kippy]

Man punched a hole in a wall. Gotta get some smack. Told my wife she's annoying.

[H. Foley]

Gotta get the dog back from the aspca. Threw him in the clink for a couple of days.

[Kippy]

Yeah, I don't like the way he was staring at me.

[H. Foley]

Judging by trim work, I told you. I remember we, we only the Foley's. When you get a pet, you get a pet. That's it. No matter what happened, we're not giving it.

[Kippy]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

But in the beginning of our family in the 80s. We got this. We got this Australian Vizsula hound, which I told you. And we got him out of the aspca. And I think he was probably like. He was in his teens and dog years, so he was troubled. And, man, he was a nightmare, right?

[Kippy]

In dog years, he was.

[H. Foley]

So he's two, something like that. It was seasoned. He was bad. He was in a gang.

[Kippy]

Fit right in with your family. Degenerates.

[H. Foley]

Bad news. Biting everybody. Nipping. Biting the whole nine yards. You couldn't get him in control. You know when they do the thing where they're biting the leech and leash and spinning in a circle? He did that all the time. Crazy. So my dad gave him. Gave him back for, like 24 hours. I remember when we got him back, man, he was like old Brooksie from Shawshank. He didn't know what to do.

[Kippy]

Tyler, ever see those. My neighbors got one of those Italian jumping dogs. Do you ever see them things?

[H. Foley]

There's no such thing. One of those Italian whistling dogs. Hello.

[Kippy]

Your girlfriend, she got a nice ass, am I right?

[Kevin Ryan]

It's an Italian greyhound.

[Kippy]

Yeah, yeah, but they're called the Italian jumping dude.

[H. Foley]

They're Italian humping dogs.

[Kippy]

It's like they just saw the House of Pain video. These things are jumping around.

[H. Foley]

What are you talking about?

[Kippy]

I mean, they just. Like, I'll be walking Hans, and this one will. This one will be coming out of their building and just like he. They just jump and do like three 60s and backflips there. It's fucking crazy. They're like. Remember those little dogs you see at the kiosk in a mall and then does the backflip?

[H. Foley]

Oh, yeah, I used to love those like that.

[Kippy]

They're nuts. And there's no, like, rhythm to it, you know, like a. You know, a dog jumps these things. Like, they do, like, endos. They pull their back up, like bunny hopping.

[H. Foley]

Those Italians are cookie, huh?

[Kippy]

Lay off the espresso, will you?

[H. Foley]

This guy had a double Zambuca.

[Kippy]

Take it easy.

[H. Foley]

Makes a mean caccio.

[Kippy]

My question is, I don't know if it's culture, if it's, like, area wise or just like, you know, kind of culturally. The. The. Why is it Home Depot over Lowe's? And it's not even a question. Why is that?

[H. Foley]

I don't know.

[Kippy]

It's Home Depot over Lowe's. Always has been, always will be. You run to Lowe's in a pinch, maybe. If it's.

[H. Foley]

What do you get on Lowe's?

[Kippy]

It's not the same. It's the same. It is the same.

[H. Foley]

They don't got that hot dog joint out front.

[Kippy]

Rocco's. Uh huh. Yeah. Very familiar with Rocco's, but I don't know.

[H. Foley]

All I can speak is from the greater Philadelphia area, the Tri State area, as Jim Gardner used to so elegantly put.

[Kippy]

One sec. Can you give me a total number of Lowe's and a total number of Home Depots, please? I want that on my desk by the end of the episode.

[H. Foley]

It's gotta be nothing. It's got to be.

[Kippy]

No contact. Close. Oh, Home Depot's killing Don Pollock. Or. What were you saying? Pollock. That's from Ed Bass, Mr. Who I Love, by the way. I don't know, for whatever reason that Ed Pollock's my godfather.

[H. Foley]

He just told me. Pterodactyl escaped from the Philly Zoo, ate a toddler on Market Street.

[Kippy]

It's his godfather and not his uncle is so Philly trash. It's so perfect. Tom Pollock.

[H. Foley]

All I can speak is from the. From.

[Kippy]

From.

[H. Foley]

You know, the.

[Kippy]

Home Depot was there first.

[H. Foley]

Home Deep blows. I mean, what. Get out of here. It was Heckingers and Sears when Sears was really popping back in the day. Excuse me. And then Home Depot came in and it was a natural progression from Heckingers to Holy. Got a Home Depot now?

[Kippy]

Yeah, No, I remember.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. I don't even know if there's a Lowe's in that area. Maybe there is. I don't know anybody that goes.

[Kippy]

You go to Home Depot growing up, my dad, we would go to Home Depot and then my stepmom would go to Lowe's. So that was just where broads went to me.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kippy]

That was like, you know, home. It's not. But it was like. It just. It was like Home Improvement for like.

[H. Foley]

I got to be the broads. I think the orange sells it.

[Kippy]

What do you think about the construction? Or maybe you're already. You're just doing that because it's. That's what you think of Home Depot chicken or the egg type thing.

[H. Foley]

Very true.

[Kippy]

What do you got?

[Kevin Ryan]

Lowe's was open first.

[Kippy]

What?

[Kevin Ryan]

In 1929. Home Depot didn't open until 1978.

[Kippy]

There are 50 years on them.

[Kevin Ryan]

In the US there are 20, 25 Home Depots. And in the US for Lowe's, 1748.

[H. Foley]

Double oh.

[Kevin Ryan]

250 off.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kippy]

300 or so.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kippy]

That's not that much.

[H. Foley]

No, that's like we would.

[Kippy]

I could. I can't go. There's 300 less.

[H. Foley]

You brought up a point. Home Depot. That's where Patty would go for her home improvements that she was doing and stuff like that. But when I worked for that general.

[Kippy]

Contractor, he went to the depot.

[H. Foley]

Everybody went to the depot.

[Kippy]

That's on the job sites. We would say, yo, I'm running. Like, we. We were the plumber.

[H. Foley]

Nobody. I'm running the loads.

[Kippy]

They would run over what they go, oh, I'm like, you know, the GC or the carpenters. But y'all. I'm running the depot. Anybody need anything, like. Yeah, we need, you know, I don't know, some of them Italian sausages. Hey, Dan, your fat won't like sausages, right?

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that's. That would have been weird if you went to Lowe's.

[Kippy]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Drinking Pepsi.

[Kippy]

I think you still say, I'm running the depot, but you go to, like. If you were going to Lowe's, you still say, I'm running to the depot.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kippy]

And you throw the bags out before you get.

[H. Foley]

That was always the thing. I didn't have it at Home Depot. I had to go to Lowe's.

[Kippy]

Yeah. I don't understand.

[H. Foley]

So you pick up a Ryobi.

[Kippy]

It's very. Yeah, Ryobi. We're a fucking Milwaukee or DeWalt family.

[H. Foley]

Got the Japanese drill. Beat it.

[Kippy]

I think Korean.

[H. Foley]

Whatever.

[Kippy]

I think Ryobi did get pretty good, though.

[H. Foley]

I'm sure.

[Kippy]

For whatever I'm doing. But you want. You wanted to fucking. You wanted to break out the European. Go Bosch. Get a Bosch gun. Really blow your tits off with that.

[H. Foley]

The other way.

[Kippy]

Drives on the wrong side of the road, that guy. But, yeah, it's just very. Like, I. When I said I'm going to the hardware, I just, like, innately go. I probably drive by. I think I drive by a Lowe's to get to a depot.

[H. Foley]

Home Depot smells better.

[Kippy]

More.

[H. Foley]

More. Saw.

[Kippy]

Dusty. Mm. And I'm also a guy, and someone called me out in the comments. They were like, you seem like the guy who will not ask for help, but will look to see what aisle and bin it's in. That's what I do.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. They don't know all that shit in the commercial date. There's no expert.

[Kippy]

I had to ask the same old lady. I have family members that work at that Work there in the. In the sections. We don't talk to. We see them. I go to the other aisle.

[H. Foley]

You ever ask somebody at the. At the paint section at Home Depot about something else outside of it?

[Kippy]

Well, the paint section at the Home.

[H. Foley]

Depot, they don't speak English.

[Kippy]

That's like the fragrance people at a Macy's. That's. There's.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kippy]

They're fucking separate.

[H. Foley]

It's like an Enderman's counter.

[Kippy]

Yeah, exactly.

[H. Foley]

I don't really work here.

[Kippy]

Yeah, I know. Sorry. I don't work Home Depot. Fucking MAB pays my bills.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, they don't want it. I don't know. You got to ask some meth head walking around, they don't know where nothing is.

[Kippy]

I don't know. I had. I asked three times because I come. I didn't have service to look on my phone because I'm a little baby girl.

[H. Foley]

Either they don't know where anything is or you're asking them about something that's right in front of your face. So either way you look like an asshole. Or they don't know.

[Kippy]

Be honest with us. This old lady. Old is. I mean, like she's 70 years old. Old, tiny old lady working.

[H. Foley]

Not that old.

[Kippy]

It's not young. So that's old in the workforce?

[H. Foley]

Depends how you look at it.

[Kippy]

I'm looking at it as a employee. That's an old employee.

[H. Foley]

I'll be 70 and 20 years.

[Kippy]

You're not making it 20 years.

[H. Foley]

I would have been.

[Kippy]

I'll be burying you at a Home Depot. What are you talking about? She knew where everything was.

[H. Foley]

Better not use one by three, I'll tell you that. Snapped out like a twig.

[Kippy]

Better put some rebar in that thing.

[H. Foley]

The first concrete.

[Kippy]

One thing I wanted to tell you about. We got a fox.

[H. Foley]

What?

[Kippy]

Yeah. I had to put up some chicken wire. This page.

[H. Foley]

Oh, in the house. You have a fox.

[Kippy]

What do you think? I had a fox. I don't know. I fell real handy. That was very nice. King of the burb.

[H. Foley]

Chicken wire.

[Kippy]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Where? Around the fencing from the fence.

[Kippy]

So I have a shed that's empty. I don't have anything to put in. I don't own enough stuff to put in the shed. It's just what the guy who lived there left in there. And a fox. A pretty big fox. And it's not. I don't think. And it's for Han. It's not to keep the fox out. It's to prevent Hans from going under because he. He had his head halfway under the thing looking.

[H. Foley]

Oh, wait, the fox is underneath the.

[Kippy]

He ran. He was in the backyard. He ran under the shed. I don't know if he lives under there. That's just his.

[H. Foley]

Probably lives under there. Probably has a baby under there. Because it's a springtime.

[Kippy]

Okay. Who are you, fucking Steve Irwin? All of A sudden. Jack, Hannah.

[H. Foley]

Big Fox.

[Kippy]

What?

[H. Foley]

Who would win in a fight?

[Kippy]

That would be my nickname. Yeah, Big Fox. Thanks for asking. Yeah, Big Fox.

[H. Foley]

Who would win in a fight? Hans, you think?

[Kippy]

Yeah, I think. I think by default, foxes are timid animals.

[Kevin Ryan]

Foxes only. Anything under 15 pounds will be at risk. Dogs wise.

[H. Foley]

Oh, yeah.

[Kippy]

Hans is £50. Yeah, Hans. And I don't know if you've seen him. He's got a bit of an attitude problem. Yeah, he's looking.

[H. Foley]

Dude, he's getting crazier. About a minute.

[Kippy]

He's not running. He's.

[H. Foley]

He's, you know, looking for trouble.

[Kippy]

He's putting his head under something he ain't never seen.

[H. Foley]

I wouldn't want the fox to bite him or him to bite the fox or whatever.

[Kippy]

Yeah, that's why I put up chicken wire.

[H. Foley]

So now you have the fox trapped in the thing.

[Kippy]

No, he can get out the back.

[H. Foley]

Oh, you put it, like, along the. You put it across the yard?

[Kippy]

No, cross my. I don't care if he comes in the yard. I don't understand what you're not getting here. I didn't want Hans going under the fet. Going under the shed.

[H. Foley]

Right.

[Kippy]

So I blocked the front of the shed from Hans being able to get under it with chicken wire.

[H. Foley]

But how does the fox get out?

[Kippy]

You can get out the back or the sides.

[H. Foley]

Is there holes underneath there?

[Kippy]

Yeah, obviously.

[H. Foley]

So Hans can't get to the side of the back?

[Kippy]

No, just the front of the fence is in. The front of the shed is in the fence.

[H. Foley]

Oh, okay. I got the back.

[Kippy]

The back and sides of the shed are behind. Outside of our fence.

[H. Foley]

No kidding.

[Kippy]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

That's weird, huh? All right.

[Kippy]

I don't know. I didn't put it there.

[H. Foley]

All right, cool. So the fox can't get in the yard.

[Kippy]

Just said that.

[H. Foley]

And can't get in. Okay, I got it.

[Kippy]

Are you sure?

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Home Depot.

[Kippy]

What the fuck, Kev?

[H. Foley]

Let's talk about True Classics, baby.

[Kippy]

Shout out to True Classics, gang.

[H. Foley]

You know them. You love them. We wear them. We love them. We're talking about True Classics. And always remember that True Classics has one mission. To make sure you guys look good and feel even better. And boy, did they nail the fit. And the price across the entire wardrobe is actually fantastic. And we're not just talking about tees. We're talking about hoodies, talking about jeans, talking about activewear. Everything you need to upgrade your everyday style, True Classics has ready for you. And also, True Classics just isn't about great clothes. Their brand DNA is built and being highly intentional in everything they do. From creating highly quality essentials to making folks laugh with their hilarious ads to delivering Ritz Carlton level white glove service service and giving back to the communities they believe in. Every detail is done in this propers.

[Kippy]

Yes, and I've been wearing True Classics for a while now. Well before they were a sponsor. I got into them because I like the way they fit.

[H. Foley]

Turn me on. I got a pair of their undies right now.

[Kippy]

From the first piece I put on, I knew it was new. Was for me a little big around the midsection, tighter, snug where you want it, relaxed where you need it. No weird bunchy, no awkward tight spots. Just clean effortless fit that works. Forget overpriced designer nonsense. Skip the cheap throwaways. True Classic delivers premium essentials built for real life. Grab yours at Target or Costco or head to trueclassics.com garbage to get hooked up today.

[H. Foley]

Do it gang. The show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

[Kippy]

Mm.

[H. Foley]

As you know, Uncle Hank has started the the long process of his mental health journey. And BetterHelp is a fantastic place to start if you're thinking about getting your shit together, if you know what I mean. And also too, I got serious things. It doesn't have to be that serious. It could just be something that you want to talk through with somebody and you want to do it from the privacy. You're on home. Do yourself a favor. BetterHelp can help. Whether you got to get something off your chest or it's something that's been bothering you for a long time. Licensed therapist from the privacy of your own home. And they'll probably have a specialist that you don't have in your area. It's absolutely fantastic. And if you're trying to get your shit together a little bit, do it. Because BetterHelp can honestly help you.

[Kippy]

Yeah, traditional in person therapy can cost anywhere from 100 to $250 per session per session, which adds up fast. But with better help. Online therapy you can save an average of up to 50% per session. You pay a flat fee per week for weekly sessions, saving you big costs and on time. Therapy should feel accessible, not like a luxury. With online therapy, it takes the quality care price and that makes sense. And you can get anything from anxiety to everyday stress. So your well being is worth it. Visit betterhelp.com garbage you get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H E L p.com garbage do it. That's like the crux of our relationship. I'll Explain something that I've done and you take it the wrong way.

[H. Foley]

I wasn't thinking. I wasn't thinking that it was like that. That the fence went like.

[Kippy]

I understand.

[H. Foley]

Who the fuck has their shed?

[Kippy]

I don't know, but I gave you.

[H. Foley]

Halfway in the yard and halfway out the yard.

[Kippy]

I gave you the facts of. He can't get in, he can't get out. Not halfway. And it's not even in the yard.

[H. Foley]

That's crazy.

[Kippy]

I didn't put it in. I don't know what to tell you.

[H. Foley]

You should push the fence back and get the shed in the yard.

[Kippy]

I told you about the chicken wire. I want to get rid of the shed. I don't need that. But there's animals that live under there, so I let them stay there.

[H. Foley]

That's nice.

[Kippy]

I don't know. If my property goes back that far, they'll take the shed. Is that what I just heard? Take the shed and put it where? Like, dude, see, this is. We get into. We get into situations where he just says, I'll do stuff. Maybe just kind of relatively make me look bad.

[H. Foley]

Maybe Patty, you know what I mean?

[Kippy]

Like, oh, you don't want it? I'll take it. Like, Patty wants it. You don't have. Your whole backyard is a deck. Your whole backyard is an above ground pool.

[H. Foley]

Put it on the side of the house. She has a rubbermaid shed.

[Kippy]

You have a garage.

[H. Foley]

She has a rubbermaid shed on the side. We'll get rid of that and put the big shed in there. Keep the fox, though. I like them.

[Kippy]

There used to be a groundhog or a gopher under there. I don't know what happened to him.

[H. Foley]

My neighbor's got a groundhog that's been living under there for about 40 years.

[Kippy]

No, I think they only live like seven or eight years.

[H. Foley]

Big one.

[Kippy]

I looked it up.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Groundhogs.

[Kippy]

Yeah. Because we were like. I was like, oh, this groundhog's probably been there for like 100 years. And we looked it up. To live like five, six, seven, eight years.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Kippy]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Two to three years.

[Kippy]

Is that what it is?

[H. Foley]

Two to three years? What are they drinking? That's crazy. How does it. Two years.

[Kevin Ryan]

They can make it to six.

[H. Foley]

That's the latest.

[Kippy]

I told you.

[H. Foley]

I wonder what gets them.

[Kippy]

What?

[H. Foley]

What the hell was. What is a groundhog die?

[Kippy]

Helicopter crashes. What do you think? They're living under sheds.

[H. Foley]

That's crazy. What does a groundhog usually die of? 8. What does it usually die of?

[Kevin Ryan]

Cause of death.

[Kippy]

I mean, don't let him look it up. You like pull back like we're hitting commercial break.

[H. Foley]

That's crazy. Two or three years. That's it. Damn. I thought at least 15 years. They get big.

[Kippy]

Motherfucker. Go to college.

[H. Foley]

Get back on the weight. Quick.

[Kevin Ryan]

Holy predators. Disease. Parasites. Accidents. Like cars. Hibernation complications.

[H. Foley]

Hibernation.

[Kippy]

Bill Murray. Explosions.

[H. Foley]

Housekeepers. All right. Shit. Wow. That's crazy. So I guess that's a different one that moves into the shed. And my mom's big. Maybe.

[Kippy]

You guys are all fucked up.

[H. Foley]

I thought it was the same guy.

[Kippy]

It could be a local homeless man. And you guys just don't know.

[H. Foley]

Man. He's legendary.

[Kippy]

It's not him. I don't tell you.

[H. Foley]

It's a copycat impersonator. That's nuts. We have fox in the backyard. Too. I love him. As long as they don't get rabid or anything like that.

[Kippy]

Yeah. That's a problem.

[H. Foley]

Then they're catching the nickel. Yeah. Rabies scares me.

[Kippy]

So you think. Dude.

[H. Foley]

Because you shoot them and they're still staggering around like zombies.

[Kippy]

It's like Con Air takes one in the chest and keeps coming for the cockpit. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You gotta put them down. Man. I don't like that. But a cute little. Cute little fox. Like a mom fox and the kids. Because they stay together for a while and they have like a little family.

[Kippy]

How old? How long does a fox last?

[H. Foley]

Oh, they don't make it.

[Kippy]

No. You're saying they stay together. She would have never made it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Three to four years.

[Kippy]

Yeah. All right.

[H. Foley]

There you go.

[Kippy]

It's not that long. Three to four years.

[H. Foley]

Better than two or three with the groundhog and the parasites. Jesus. No. But they stay as a family unit. I think for a little bit. It's always cute in the spring down at Patty's because the little. The animals all have the babies. And they'll be like a little nest of rabbits.

[Kippy]

They're looking for grass. You guys killed it all. Put down wooden planks. These guys got nowhere to live. Talk about ruin a habitat. It's like you guys are torching of rainforest down there. Displacing the Weebles and shit.

[H. Foley]

Making palm oil. Now we have a huge.

[Kippy]

In the. Panama can help.

[H. Foley]

We have a huge tuft of woods in the back where they all live. There's deer running around. There's goddamn deer. They're in the driveway. They're running around. But the fox and stuff. They live. There's a huge set of bushes between the lady.

[Kippy]

Between her legs.

[H. Foley]

Between the lady that lives over there. Then there's The I listen.

[Kippy]

I've been to this house many a handful of times.

[H. Foley]

There's an area back there.

[Kippy]

I don't get it. There's a house behind his house.

[H. Foley]

Behind whose house?

[Kippy]

Your house. Your house is in someone's front yard, right?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kippy]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Off to the side. They're more. They're in our backyard. Really?

[Kippy]

That's their front yard?

[H. Foley]

Kinda. It's a front field.

[Kippy]

It's a yard. That's not a field.

[H. Foley]

There's crops back up there.

[Kippy]

Crops?

[H. Foley]

Corn. They grow corn. And soy cattle. It's a groundhog farm. I don't know what you're talking about. That's n though. Maybe you have a little. That said that hellhound will get him though if he gets his hands on one of those baby fox. It's bad. They scream too. You don't want to hear that. In the middle of the night you'll think it's a banshee coming to get you. Those things scream like an infant child.

[Kippy]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Scary.

[Kippy]

All right, man.

[H. Foley]

That's no good telling you no.

[Kippy]

What's no good? You do what my wife.

[H. Foley]

They're screaming.

[Kippy]

You're the king of. Like I tell you a problem and tell you how I fix it. You got to take care of that.

[H. Foley]

You got.

[Kippy]

You got to get on that. I don't think I literally just said that.

[H. Foley]

Completely fixed it.

[Kippy]

Why didn't I completely fix it?

[H. Foley]

Because the fox is still under there. Maybe with a family.

[Kippy]

Okay, so what am I supposed to do? Displace the fox? That's not you. And no.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kippy]

So what do I do?

[H. Foley]

Put some cabbage out or something for him?

[Kippy]

What?

[H. Foley]

I don't leave a riddle from the salt.

[Kippy]

You don't know. You're the king of thinking. I haven't solved the problem correctly.

[H. Foley]

You have woods behind you, right? There's no streets behind you.

[Kippy]

There's woods behind me. There's streets behind. There's a lot behind me. I'm not living anyone's front yard, I'll tell you that much. Fucking breaking my stones. Fox or no fox, you're. You're living on a guy's property.

[H. Foley]

Nuh. They moved in after us. That was all woods back there. And we sold off some land.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're renting.

[H. Foley]

Sharecropping.

[Kippy]

Vandy patch over here. Vandy trash. I wouldn't live in your front yard if you gave it to me as.

[H. Foley]

A gift for the pipeline.

[Kippy]

For an above ground pool.

[H. Foley]

All right. So you got a fox, huh?

[Kippy]

Shout out to Lowe's.

[H. Foley]

Shout out to Lowe's. So that's where you went was Lowe's.

[Kippy]

No, I was the depot guy. I go back. I forgot something.

[H. Foley]

How's your chicken wire game?

[Kippy]

Pretty good. I'm pretty proud of it.

[H. Foley]

Would you put it up there so you can't get into the. You can't get into the shed now, cuz you. You blocked off the front door. You just put a little down at the bottom.

[Kippy]

Like molding, kind of. No, I went to. I got two foot.

[H. Foley]

So you. How can you open the door?

[Kippy]

I didn't put it in front of the door. See, you see this?

[H. Foley]

That doesn't make any sense.

[Kippy]

You don't want to believe me, all right? So why don't you just go? Why don't you just take my word for it instead of trying to prove me wrong that I didn't do this correctly?

[H. Foley]

I think you're an idiot.

[Kippy]

That's why. This is everything.

[H. Foley]

If I'm speaking frankly, I don't think you know what the hell you're doing. Quite honestly, I don't even think you've seen it.

[Kippy]

Fox. Yeah, it was Hans. Holy shit.

[H. Foley]

What'd you put it up there with?

[Kippy]

I had those, you idiot.

[H. Foley]

I don't know. Don't finish the sentence. That's coming off, moron.

[Kippy]

I ain't never hung chicken wire before.

[H. Foley]

Look.

[Kippy]

You believe this case? Let's start the car. Let's go to Home Depot, let's solve this problem for this guy.

[H. Foley]

Did you tack it up?

[Kippy]

I used those like double. They're like U nails, kind of.

[H. Foley]

Oh, those are good.

[Kippy]

Thank you.

[H. Foley]

Those are good.

[Kippy]

They don't go in as good well as I thought, you probably could have.

[H. Foley]

Just stapled them with it. With a heavy staple gun?

[Kippy]

Yeah. By a staple gun.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. You should have one anyway, for the house.

[Kippy]

Oh, I shouldn't.

[H. Foley]

What?

[Kippy]

I've never. I've never used one in my life.

[H. Foley]

Oh. We always had a staple gun.

[Kippy]

For what?

[H. Foley]

Shooting each other.

[Kippy]

Shooting the neighbors to live in the backyard.

[H. Foley]

Now we use the staple gun for the trains to put down the. The green stuff for the trains. I'm. I'm sure my mom uses for other shit, but as far as I was concerned, it was just for what? I got a booger.

[Kippy]

Probably had to let your underwear out with it.

[H. Foley]

My Frankenstein stapled underwear.

[Kippy]

Reinforce your grundle.

[H. Foley]

One of those things pop? Yeah.

[Kippy]

Scratch it, you catch a leaker.

[H. Foley]

I can give me tetanus on my. My tank. I don't think so. No. Shouldn't do that. By the way, just so you know.

[Kippy]

There'S a ramp Leading up to the shed. Not a ramp. Like. Yeah, a ramp.

[H. Foley]

So you had to do two pieces.

[Kippy]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Whoa.

[Kippy]

And, man, I gotta.

[H. Foley]

You got a ramp because you got a mower.

[Kippy]

Drive a Lionel up your wrist.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. No. So you could put the mower.

[Kippy]

Kept the mower in there or a wheelbarrow or. As you. I don't know. I don't have anything to put in there. I got. No. I don't own enough stuff to fill it.

[H. Foley]

Maybe I'll get you a lawnmower.

[Kippy]

No. Stop buying me stuff. I've never asked you for anything. I don't need a lawnmower.

[H. Foley]

I have a sick lawnmower in there. You cut the gray, got the kid. Now you cut the grass.

[Kippy]

I got a guy who cuts the grass.

[H. Foley]

Save a couple of bucks plus something, a family to do.

[Kippy]

I got lawn guy who I've never talked to. He just cuts my. I've never met him. Never talked to me. Just cut.

[H. Foley]

Well, you can change that. You could be out in the backyard cutting the grass. So my dad used to do it.

[Kippy]

Then we'd be like, where he is now. I don't want that. Don't put that on me. Neighbor probably killed him. He cut in his front yard. But it was a bad look. I was. I am relatively. I'm not handy enough. I need. I'm pretty handy if I can get in the way of rhythm of doing stuff. You know what I mean? But, like, if I had to hang chicken wire on 80 in 80 houses, by the 10th one, I'd go, this is the best way to do it. This is the rhythm. Whatever. I hadn't done this yet, and now I'm out there.

[H. Foley]

That stuff's brutal, too, because it doesn't bend back.

[Kippy]

Cuts back on you.

[H. Foley]

It's like working with Saran Wrap.

[Kippy]

It's. Dude, there. The one edge is, like, undone, and that shit. It's like. This is, like, thin. She like. Like. It's like netting, essentially.

[H. Foley]

Did you fold it under so he doesn't catch his face on it or something like that? The dog.

[Kippy]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kippy]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You got to fold it under so there's no sharp edges.

[Kippy]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I'll come down this week.

[Kippy]

Is that what you're looking for?

[H. Foley]

I'll come down.

[Kippy]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Straighten it out for you?

[Kippy]

Because I did it wrong, right?

[H. Foley]

Sounds.

[Kippy]

I don't know what I'm doing. I did it wrong.

[H. Foley]

I mean, I get it.

[Kippy]

Yeah. Mm.

[H. Foley]

What'd you do with the leftovers? Because you don't just buy a piece of that. You got to buy a Whole bundle.

[Kippy]

I bought three. Once you throw a little chicken, five.

[H. Foley]

By two, start doing your own eggs.

[Kippy]

What?

[H. Foley]

Plus, she could probably write off some of the house. Be a farm destroying that.

[Kippy]

You come milk you a quarter milk. Sell it at the local farmers market.

[H. Foley]

That ain't milk, lady.

[Kippy]

That's any juice.

[H. Foley]

I gotta do this more often. Feel like a million bucks.

[Kippy]

Wipe in your mouth.

[H. Foley]

Wait, what? No, I'm the one getting milk.

[Kippy]

Whatever.

[H. Foley]

Jerked off in this case. Okay, I'm saying that's not milk.

[Kippy]

I gotcha. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Coming out of me.

[Kippy]

Hey, we were riffing. I made a. I made a bad move.

[H. Foley]

You were jerking me off, that's what.

[Kippy]

Oh, I was.

[H. Foley]

Who's gonna milk me?

[Kippy]

I don't know. Who doesn't now?

[H. Foley]

Nobody.

[Kippy]

Well, then we'll continue on that one.

[H. Foley]

Do it myself.

[Kippy]

No, I got two. I got three five foot by two foot rolls. So that the. The. Yeah, I covered it perfectly. Put a couple bricks at the bottom, a little reinforcement.

[H. Foley]

Can you give me an update on that? Cuz I love all that stuff.

[Kippy]

What do you want the update?

[H. Foley]

Just so if. If there's a fox. If this. If there is an actual fox living under there. If they. Do you see babies running around, be cute.

[Kippy]

Mm. Okay.

[H. Foley]

I like that. I like in the neighborhood in the springtime. I think that stuff's great. Great.

[Kippy]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Like the little rabbits and stuff like that. A little fox, little groundhogs, ducks. The geese come back. The birds, of course.

[Kippy]

Of course.

[H. Foley]

You know, sure Springs, Spring's beautiful in the. In the. The northeast. That's where we are, right? The northeast.

[Kippy]

There you go. Yeah, the Atlantic Magellan over here.

[H. Foley]

Atlantic Seaboard. No, what's it called?

[Kippy]

Eastern Seaboard.

[H. Foley]

Eastern seaboard, yes. Beautiful when the leaves come in the.

[Kippy]

Dandruff this time of year is.

[H. Foley]

That's bad. I don't know what.

[Kippy]

For the listener. I called Hank with dandruffing dandruff. With Jack Frost level dandruff.

[H. Foley]

Never in my life. Now I have dandruff. I've not been. I have not been white hair in a long time. Like a long time.

[Kippy]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Months, Bosley.

[Kippy]

Try that.

[H. Foley]

I'm like, I actually. I got dandruff shampoo for my beard, coincidentally at the dermatologist a couple weeks ago. Because I had. I had dandruff coming out of this thing. I can use that in my hair. He said, I told you this. Could also use it downtown.

[Kippy]

I don't. I mean, the second you start talking about your conditions and skin flakes, you.

[H. Foley]

Know what I mean, I'm out. That's an old Dice joke, isn't it? That they put the dandruff shampoo on his bowls?

[Kippy]

Maybe, but his bowls are flaky. It's a good bit either way. Enough shitting around here, all right? You got business to take care of. This is a goddamn family public.

[H. Foley]

This needs a paycheck. I apologize. I apologize about the dancer, though, my general appearance.

[Kippy]

You're gonna take back me not knowing what I'm doing. King of the Birds.

[H. Foley]

I haven't seen it. Send me a pic or a video or something. See what it looks like. I assume it's shoddy construction.

[Kippy]

Didn't you see it? Didn't I show you? You guys stopped by the house. I showed you.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nah.

[Kippy]

Well, you saw the nursery.

[H. Foley]

Beautiful.

[Kippy]

Thank you. Thank you.

[H. Foley]

You painted it, which I'd probably say that she probably did the finishing touches.

[Kippy]

Not even close.

[H. Foley]

Close.

[Kippy]

Not even close.

[H. Foley]

She stood there and busted your chops while you did it.

[Kippy]

No, I don't like saying that. There are a couple. You know, divorce was thrown around early on in the project when we were pulling permits.

[H. Foley]

Now it looks beautiful. It's a good baby's room. You got the windows. It's perfect. You'd be able to think it's nice.

[Kippy]

Kids if I didn't put. If there's any windows be in a closet. That ain't legal. No, like we're living in a railroad apartment in Brooklyn.

[H. Foley]

The window setup is good for the fresh air to come in. Also, it's very neighborhoody back there, so it'll be cute when you're in there rocking the baby. You know what I mean? Like on a cool summer night.

[Kippy]

Sure, sure.

[H. Foley]

I'm sorry. I'm excited for you. I'd like to come over and babysit, too. Hang out.

[Kippy]

We got. We're. We're good. We're good. We're all good on that. We're all locked. I got the fox.

[H. Foley]

Still like to come over and babysit.

[Kippy]

Well, then where am I gonna go?

[H. Foley]

You guys can sit downstairs and watch tv.

[Kippy]

No, that's weird, dude.

[H. Foley]

You're not gonna let me rock the baby or something like that? What, of goos and all that? I'm Uncle Heck, God damn it.

[Kippy]

You're going to Crystal Multisanti. The thing.

[H. Foley]

What happened?

[Kippy]

Sits on the cat.

[H. Foley]

The dog. All right.

[Kippy]

Hey, quit screwing around. That's what I'm saying. Foley's got some questions we're going to go through.

[H. Foley]

Hit me.

[Kippy]

Come on.

[H. Foley]

What's the chicken wire? How would I know?

[Kippy]

I don't know. But buying chicken wire, I got to want to go back to. That is a thing where you're like, this is. Even ask. They don't call a chicken wire anymore.

[H. Foley]

It sounds suspect.

[Kippy]

I know it does. Sounds like there's animals on the loose, which they're kind of.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kippy]

I don't know.

[H. Foley]

Or you're doing something. You're cooking something that you shouldn't be with.

[Kippy]

Chicken wire.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Kippy]

Yeah, I don't know. It just didn't. It didn't feel right. That's out by the gardening. I didn't know where they were gonna keep that. It's out in the garden. It makes sense.

[H. Foley]

A lot of people are having chickens now, though. You get the eggs? Sure.

[Kippy]

You doing that? I thought you love that kind of stuff.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kippy]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

I live in an apartment.

[Kippy]

I don't know. You just try to take my 20 by 10. Shed the fucking 10 minutes for my mother. She have chickens?

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kippy]

She lives in the suburbs.

[H. Foley]

One neighbor has them, brings them over.

[Kippy]

The chicken?

[H. Foley]

No, the eggs. I don't trust them. They're all different colors. Freaks me out. And they have like, the date written on them. I don't trust Patty with the dates anymore. Somewhere. You don't know what she's got in that fridge or when it came in or when it's going out. Bad.

[Kippy]

All right, quit screwing around. Please, for the love of God. This episode is brought to you by Lifelock. It's tax season, and we're all a bit tired of numbers, but here's one you need to hear. $16.5 billion. That's how much the IRS flagged for possible identity fraud last year. Now, here's a good number. 100 million. That's how many data points Lifelock monitors every second. If your identity is stolen, they'll fix it, Guaranteed. Save up to 40% your first [e-mail] podcast terms apply. This one's from Shitlock Homes.

[H. Foley]

That's trademark infringing.

[Kippy]

I know. Two year homie. Never had one read. My apartment building is right up against a Costco. Sounds like a great location. So everyone in the building pushes their shopping carts all the way up to their apartment. In the parking garage, there's a place where people park the carts when they're done. And a worker from Costco comes along and brings them back every morning.

[H. Foley]

Very nice.

[Kippy]

So when I buy groceries, I unload them directly from the cart into my fridge. Is this classy or trashy?

[H. Foley]

What, you bring one of those into your apartment?

[Kippy]

That's pretty nice.

[H. Foley]

Those wheels are dirty.

[Kippy]

Yeah. That's probably not great.

[H. Foley]

Wow.

[Kippy]

But cuz I'm not a Costco guy. We were a Sam's Club. Do you probably don't get bags at Costco, right?

[H. Foley]

No. Yeah. Dude, that's the thing I hate.

[Kippy]

So it's like you got a bunch of loose stuff. What's better than. There's no better flow order of operations and plus they come and get the card for you.

[H. Foley]

Rolling in a cart in your apartment is nuts.

[Kippy]

Yeah. It's not great. That's been all over, spills everywhere, dog shit, pissing on the floor.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kippy]

You'd be surprised about how many people poop in supermarkets. You'd be wildly.

[H. Foley]

What do you mean poop in? Like on the floor?

[Kippy]

Like their pants? Yeah. Falls out. Yeah. A lot. Dumped all. Yeah. I mean, listen, I don't know. That's a tough one to call because it's great. But then you listen. That's.

[H. Foley]

I don't set up.

[Kippy]

I've never heard of it. I got to be honest with you. I've never heard of that. I do. I would do the same thing. I'm not saying what that role, what way that goes, but from what I.

[H. Foley]

Remember with Costco, they're huge shopping carts. How does it even get through the door?

[Kippy]

Yeah, maybe got big door. Maybe goes right into the garage door. So you say apartment building.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I think he's right to the fridge.

[Kippy]

He might be speaking a little. It might be like right to the front door maybe. And then it's all like from the front door into. You know, he carries it right into the fridge. Right into the house.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kippy]

Either way, trashy. Trashy, but borderline genius. Good for you. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You got an easy setup.

[Kippy]

That's fantastic.

[H. Foley]

I'd hang on to that place.

[Kippy]

Mm. This one's from Pepe. Do you have any outlets that don't work? Alternatively, when was the last time you were physically shocked? I was dealing with it in the nursery.

[H. Foley]

Physically shocked? Within the last 15 years. Finger in the socket of a lamp.

[Kippy]

That's what got me. I was probably. I told you, I was probably 14 or something. And I mean like the jolt through you, like. I cried. My stepdad laughed at me.

[H. Foley]

It was such a weird feeling.

[Kippy]

Oh, I didn't. He was. Because it was dark. It was dark out. I thought I was turning. I was in the living room and I hit the switch that didn't work. So I turned it on. There was no light bulb or something. And I reached in and I mean, was the last thing I was expecting.

[H. Foley]

It scared the fucking I knew I was.

[Kippy]

I never had a flyers jersey on. And I started crying. I felt like such a pussy. I stepped that.

[H. Foley]

He'll be all right. Hey, your eyebrows are gone.

[Kippy]

That's what happened to my hairline.

[H. Foley]

Sockets. That didn't work. Not I don't think in. In. In Patty's house. I'm sure some of the shitty apartments that I had sure had a couple that were hanging out.

[Kippy]

I got one or two now it's typically the one behind the couch gets it because you put. You put the. Your cell phone plugged in and then that gets pushed back and pushed back and pushed back. Maybe do a little boinking on there. You know what I mean? Sure. So we have one now that's loose my wife like plug like heavy stuff and I'm like that's a two pronger maybe cell phone. I'm like don't go pluggin like a fucking shop vac or something.

[H. Foley]

That's bad news. Scary.

[Kippy]

I had to tell her. Yeah. I'm like tell her. I had to tell her. I was like we don't ever use this one ever again.

[H. Foley]

Like put some tape on it. Put some chicken wire. Keep her out of there.

[Kippy]

Keep the fox out.

[H. Foley]

Good question.

[Kippy]

Yeah. That's a tough one. I was. I was trying to change the light and you know like sometimes the light fixture in the center of a room is not necessarily connected to the lights aren't part of the light fixture. Does that make sense?

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kippy]

Like sometimes the light fixture just. There's a light in the. Could be coming out of the ceiling and the light fixtures just placed around that. Does that make sense?

[H. Foley]

The light fixture. Yeah.

[Kippy]

Like just goes onto the ceiling.

[H. Foley]

Oh you like a. Yeah, like a fishbowl.

[Kippy]

Yeah but that's not. That's not technically connected to the light.

[H. Foley]

No, no. I got.

[Kippy]

You know.

[H. Foley]

Do the screw. Yeah. And take it down. Oh I've shattered a couple of those. And my fucking dad freak.

[Kippy]

There's always bugs in there.

[H. Foley]

Big ones.

[Kippy]

I know.

[H. Foley]

Dried up mosquitoes and little weebles and shit.

[Kippy]

So I was doing that. We're getting rid of those and I'm listening.

[H. Foley]

That's a barren desert graveyard up there. That's a rough way to go for a bug man.

[Kippy]

They'll never find you being lost in the Sahara, dude.

[H. Foley]

Someone's back home. Like why don't he don't write nothing on that. Some Dances with Wolves. Good movie.

[Kippy]

He. That net. This one was like I was trying to get it all and the Light sockets were part of the fixture itself. You know what I mean? And I was like, I could do it. And I'm like, what the fuck are you like? I was just like, you're gonna get zapped, dude. Like, I don't know enough. I haven't changed one in long enough time.

[H. Foley]

Wait, you're changing the bulb or you wanted to change the fixture?

[Kippy]

The whole fixture.

[H. Foley]

You're nuts.

[Kippy]

I know.

[H. Foley]

You got to kill the main for that.

[Kippy]

No.

[H. Foley]

Shut down the city.

[Kippy]

I know.

[H. Foley]

Never.

[Kippy]

I was literally like, I just. In fucking John homeowner mode. I'm like, I could do this. And I'm like, what are you doing?

[H. Foley]

You never roll the dice with the.

[Kippy]

Just going to get zapped.

[H. Foley]

Never know. It's always, you get zapped.

[Kippy]

I know. I can't even change a light bulb without getting zapped.

[H. Foley]

That's nuts. You shut that shit down.

[Kippy]

Yeah. No, it's not for me. We got a guy coming to do it.

[H. Foley]

You don't even shut down the. What's it called? What's the box called?

[Kippy]

Circuit breaker.

[H. Foley]

Do you shut the whole building.

[Kippy]

Call city. Call city hall. Dude, shut me down. I don't pay the bill for eight months. I let it Dr.

[H. Foley]

There are guys that will hotwire them, though, like, with the power on. Like, do it real quick. No, that, like, know how to, like, put scary. You got to be real good. Guy that I got. I worked for was nice with it. He'd wire a house in, like, two minutes. Okay, three minutes. And.

[Kippy]

You want to be my chicken wire guy? Wire a house in two minutes.

[H. Foley]

He did it good.

[Kippy]

Sure. I'm not saying he didn't.

[H. Foley]

Better than you.

[Kippy]

Maybe should be able to do it better than. I don't know why you take offense to everything better than me. Okay, sure, fair enough.

[H. Foley]

Better looking, too.

[Kippy]

He didn't need Bosley's hair. Care for men.

[H. Foley]

A beautiful head of hair on this guy.

[Kippy]

He was a stallion. He got zapped a bunch.

[H. Foley]

Former tight end of the Conshohock and Steelers. Good looking guy. Italian. Probably had a nice hog on him, too. Not that little dipstick you got. Speaking of chicken wire.

[Kippy]

What?

[H. Foley]

You're really getting it today, huh?

[Kippy]

It's so weird, the things you have pride in sometimes and make competitions in your head.

[H. Foley]

What was that? I thought I heard something. You hear that? Sounded like an automatic toothbrush. Now, it could be the effects or, I don't know.

[Kippy]

Something transalone. My doctor says cram it.

[H. Foley]

All.

[Kippy]

Right, all right. Squid around. Goddamn family up.

[H. Foley]

Great question.

[Kippy]

Great question. What was it? Again. Now the electric shock. All right, this is one's from Jessica Byers, Ten dollar homie. Is it garbage to go to college classes with your mom when you were a kid? If my mom was jammed up and we didn't have a sitter for us, we would go to my mom's college classes all the time. This was a nice college and we were a hit. I remember the library and cafeteria being top notch.

[H. Foley]

Wow, that's great.

[Kippy]

First of all, hats off to your mom for fucking making it work. Yes, that's fucking.

[H. Foley]

Wonder what she's doing now.

[Kippy]

That's amazing. Probably wires, houses. That's amazing. That's really fucking cool. Also to not have the shame and be like, fuck it, this is where I'm at. I'm bringing my kids to fucking college. Of course I'm swallowing this embarrassment in the. In the short term to better my. My family's life. That's amazing. Also being said, also, you guys being a hits pretty cool. Like, oh, that's Janine. She's got the ears. Fucking the two little ones.

[H. Foley]

Kids are coming today. That's a good time and that's a good experience. The fact that he appreciates and remembers the cafeteria. I love that. You know, obviously love that.

[Kippy]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Anytime my dad took us to a cafeteria or something like that, we always loved it. He used to take us on the. On the naval bases to the cafeterias, my friend, where I fell in love with the sausage Patty. They were big on the sausage patties, wherever it was. That's great. Trashy as shit, though.

[Kippy]

Sure. Your love for them. Patty didn't come in from like McDonald's or something?

[H. Foley]

No, never really registered. And I don't even know if we were. We didn't do McDonald's breakfast that much like that.

[Kippy]

Making up for lost time, huh, big guy?

[H. Foley]

Yeah, and if I did, it would be. It would be. It would probably. I wouldn't. I wouldn't be getting sausage, I don't think. I don't know why I didn't do the big breakfast. I didn't really fall in love with the sausage. Egg and cheese.

[Kippy]

Yeah. I would do the big breakfast as a kid. Scrambies. The muffin, the hash brown.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I don't really remember.

[Kippy]

It was like the two egg special.

[H. Foley]

I don't remember the bacon either, though, to be honest. Because we wouldn't have got bacon. Remember the hotcakes, the butter? The butter and that little thing. Okay.

[Kippy]

All right, before we lose you, let's check back in. Okay. This one's for my fumar. Is fubar. $10 mountain man. Never have one red. How long of a drive does it need to be until it's okay to fully be on forward and backward? Change another driver's seat settings.

[H. Foley]

Say that again.

[Kippy]

How long does a drive have to be until it's okay to change the seat settings? You know, like fully make the seat and steering wheel and mirrors your own.

[H. Foley]

Oh, every time you get into the car.

[Kippy]

I disagree.

[H. Foley]

You're nuts. Wait, you're driving. Who's somebody.

[Kippy]

Someone else's car. You don't get in and make that your car.

[H. Foley]

Yes you do.

[Kippy]

For.

[H. Foley]

Okay, you're right.

[Kippy]

You're running to Wawa. You do that, right? So you say what is the drive? That's the question. What is minus a little forward and backwards so your knees and legs fit.

[H. Foley]

I think the mirrors, that's a safety thing. You got to do that immediately.

[Kippy]

That's bitch.

[H. Foley]

You get in and get situated.

[Kippy]

Fucking changing the mirrors, dude.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, you do the mirrors and you make sure you can see to keep.

[Kippy]

You'Re not getting them. If you're on a fucking two lane street, you don't need to change the mirror. You can, you can duck and see.

[H. Foley]

I don't know. I'm big on getting in a car and getting. Getting my subs.

[Kippy]

Such a bad driver.

[H. Foley]

Now I got. I got to be situated.

[Kippy]

I get that free. You figure I. I would give you more benefit of the doubt of being idle. Situate. That's why I'm a bad driver. You don't like that?

[H. Foley]

I don't think I'm that bad of a driver.

[Kippy]

It's. I mean, that's insane.

[H. Foley]

I don't fucking speed past tractor trailers like you do. I'll give you that. I don't drive like I just robbed the first city national. I drive defensively and poorly, assertively.

[Kippy]

You do not drive assertive.

[H. Foley]

Yes, I do.

[Kippy]

It's so weird because sometimes you will say, ye, I'm a bad driver.

[H. Foley]

Not today.

[Kippy]

Other times you really take it personal.

[H. Foley]

I mean I think breaking green lights, I think somebody might t bone you. Coming the other way, someone might rear.

[Kippy]

End you because they're not expecting you to slam on the brakes at a green light. Maybe it's for sure. Okay, whatever.

[H. Foley]

I think like say in a designated driver situation, like say we go out, okay, I didn't drink. You got all fucked up.

[Kippy]

What world is that?

[H. Foley]

Per usual. I was just killing on the dance floor. All right? Could have went home with somebody, but I didn't because I got to take your drunk ass Home. I'm getting in the car and getting.

[Kippy]

You know, so everybody, that's nighttime or probably. We're probably at a cool club, midtown. I got to go all the way back uptown.

[H. Foley]

Right.

[Kippy]

You know what I mean? That's a third. That's a 20 minute drive. Yeah, I'll give you that. Plus there's drunk drivers out. It's nighttime.

[H. Foley]

You want to be careful. Yeah, yeah. But I do see your point. If you're just running that, I mean, what's next?

[Kippy]

You redo the radio stations? This is blasphemy, dude. It's all crazy. Take it to get the car painted. What are we doing here?

[H. Foley]

We doing the radio stations is wild.

[Kippy]

Never listen. I think you'll forward, back, forward, backward to make sure your. Your legs fit and you're okay. The steering wheel changes. Banana. You change that.

[H. Foley]

My wife does that.

[Kippy]

Because then it's like, it's so tough to get right back.

[H. Foley]

Oh, it's brutal.

[Kippy]

Because it's not like a. It's. There's not levels. It's just your free ball in it.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kippy]

And then it. It never feels the same until you get back used to it again.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I'm big on that. I got to get the wheel nice, though. I always kind of wish that.

[Kippy]

That you're a bigger guy.

[H. Foley]

Oh, yeah. It's a different situation for me. I got to rearrange.

[Kippy]

You got to see the back seat. Hey, we're going to remove the neck on this thing like a movie.

[H. Foley]

You ever notice in movies and ever keep those in what?

[Kippy]

The rear.

[H. Foley]

I always take the. The headrest away. Film trivia for you.

[Kippy]

Hey, Cisco, zip it. Okay.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that's right. I always wish there was. You know how like when you.

[Kippy]

Well, a lot of them just have the memory buttons.

[H. Foley]

They don't really work that well.

[Kippy]

I go to jail for 15 years. I get out, boom, my seats right back where it was. I think that's a Seinfeld. When he gets his dad the Cadillac, it's got the memory. That's good. Go to jail for 10 years. I come. Yeah, dad, you're gonna go to jail for 10 years. You didn't like to crack about the pen, did you?

[H. Foley]

I did not.

[Kippy]

Just shoot the movie so I can get it out on this trip. All right, listen, I would say run into the store. Crazy. I would say anything over on a highway, I'll give you. You can do a lot of changing because you got to be on your. Your noggin. There's. Or if it's like a bit of A road trip where you're like, well, we're going to be in here for a minute.

[H. Foley]

Of course, if you're, like, driving somewhere. Yes. You have to.

[Kippy]

I would say under an hour, under a half hours. I don't. I'm not making any major change.

[H. Foley]

Okay. Just disagree on it, I guess.

[Kippy]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I feel like every time you get in there, you should set everything up nice so you're safe. It's somebody else's vehicle. You don't know what the insurance situation is. You don't know what's in the fucking hubcaps. You know what I mean? Could be riding with a couple of keys in there.

[Kippy]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

You don't want to get pulled over.

[Kippy]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Then you get pulled over somebody else's car. Then you got to go, that's my buddy's car. Sure it is. Where's this? And you reach for the glove compartment. You know safety.

[Kippy]

Yeah, it happens all the time. I mean, I have lost count. I've had a nickel for every time that's happened.

[H. Foley]

Safety first. When it comes to vehicles, they keep.

[Kippy]

You in the passenger seat because you stink it. Drive.

[H. Foley]

I'm a good radio man.

[Kippy]

No, you're not. We just said you played the same song for an hour and a half straight without knowing.

[H. Foley]

That was an accident.

[Kippy]

Okay, but still, that was. That doesn't happen. That doesn't happen to good radio men. Dangerous. Clogging your ears.

[H. Foley]

Sucks. I got spots tonight, too.

[Kippy]

Oh, yikes.

[H. Foley]

Might go to the salon. Get a. Get a wash and a blowout.

[Kippy]

Where Petco.

[H. Foley]

Get my nails trimmed. Biting the lady.

[Kippy]

All right, let's see. This one's from JM. $10 home. You never have one. Red. Are you garbage if you pre. Green. This is a. This is a. This is a. This is a good one. Are you garbage if you pre. Game a dry wedding. It was one of my best friends, and I'm in the wedding party. He's one of my co. He was one of my college roommates, and I've carried him home more than once. I can't let his new lady and her family prevent me from drinking. Right.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. What a dry wedding is up.

[Kippy]

I don't know what the rules. I. I guess it would depend on why it's dry. You think it's religious? If. What religion? I mean, unless it's like, Muslim, maybe. Muslim. I don't think any. Like. I mean, the Catholics drink. Catholics, Christians drink, the Jews drink.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kippy]

It's got to be, like, aren't Muslim. It's like, I don't know. Yeah. Muslims aren't allowed to drink or.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dry.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, Dry. Huh.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hindu.

[Kippy]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Okay. You make up with the food, though. Clean up, sure. But just go heavy on the samosas, huh? Hmm. I would if that's the case.

[Kippy]

I guess she's probably too, like. Let's just say it is religious. She knowingly her family's or extended family is going to be there.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kippy]

She's probably saying, tell your idiot fucking friends not to drink.

[H. Foley]

Well, no, it's just a dry wedding, so they assume.

[Kippy]

Yeah, but I'm sure there's. If this kid's carrying this other kid.

[H. Foley]

Home, has this already happened?

[Kippy]

I don't know.

[H. Foley]

I thought he said in the thing. I would say, don't do it if it's ahead of you. You don't want to be fucked up and they. They sniff you out.

[Kippy]

I would say, but it's also, like.

[H. Foley]

You don't want her dad fucking screaming at you.

[Kippy]

I would say do it.

[H. Foley]

Like, how are you gonna drink during the wedding?

[Kippy]

Pop in the bag. How do you coke at a wedding? What, have someone else drive your car? Yeah. I mean, you pop into the bathroom. I'm going outside to smoke a cigarette. You smoke heaters. It's still America.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kippy]

You know what I mean? All right, They're. You got a little. You dump something in the. You know, the muscles don't get up.

[H. Foley]

And if it's religious, you don't. You don't want anybody.

[Kippy]

You want to get drug out, but, like, you can get up and have a good time. You know what I mean? But I don't know. I don't. I've also never been the drunk. Like, I don't know how that looks. One drunk guy in a room full of sober people.

[H. Foley]

It's bad. It's bad.

[Kippy]

It's like, you gotta.

[H. Foley]

You've seen the drunk. You've seen the drunk guy at a wedding around other drunk people.

[Kippy]

That's what I'm saying.

[H. Foley]

How bad do you. How obvious everyone else drinking coffee.

[Kippy]

I don't think you're gonna go that far to be like, the guy getting, you know, you know, doing the worm or whatever in the parking lot. But, like, you're, you know, I. Like you're a little loose in your shoulders a bit.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kippy]

That's what I would say.

[H. Foley]

All right?

[Kippy]

And it's like, hey, listen, she don't, you know, she don't know. She ain't gotta hurt her.

[H. Foley]

Of course.

[Kippy]

But, like, if you and, like, two other groomsmen or buddies or cousins are like, yo, it. We're we're taking nips off the flask.

[H. Foley]

Then, you know, that's where the bag comes in.

[Kippy]

Fucking it is what it is.

[H. Foley]

A little bit. Yeah.

[Kippy]

Just take some edibles or something. Kid knows what I'm talking about. That's what you get into.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Take an Eddie.

[Kippy]

It's a wedding. You got to get fucked up. You celebrate marriage.

[H. Foley]

What, and you really crush the food.

[Kippy]

Yeah, I would have a problem not drinking at the wedding.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that'd be tough.

[Kippy]

I don't. I'd be like, hey, man, that's great. I'm not going. Then. Like, I don't need to sell. And those Indian weddings, I don't know if you've been to one. They're about three days long. You're telling me. I got. I got a party Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, and I can't wet my beak. It's a goddamn weekend. I gotta go back to the office on Monday. It sucks. Everybody's working for the weekend.

[H. Foley]

Man, going back sober with wicked heartburn.

[Kippy]

I my brains out. Chicken tikka marsala runs right through you.

[H. Foley]

Oh, man. Go for a little bit of that right now. A little naan bread. How you doing?

[Kippy]

All right, let's see. This one's from Ozempic gold medalist. I was explaining are you garbage? To my older friend who's in his 50s. And he had a really good one.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kippy]

He said back in the 70s, when his dad was at work, when he was a kid, his dad would call home and talk to the family on his lunch break using a payphone, but his dad gave him the number to the payphone at work. His dad would use his quarter to make the call and would let it ring twice. And the family knew not to answer it. His dad would hang up and press the button to get his quarterback, which I don't remember, but I guess they did if they didn't pick up. You got your quarterback.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kippy]

And then the family knew to call that pay phone back and his dad be waiting there. And that's how he talked to his family for free at work.

[H. Foley]

That's great.

[Kippy]

That's a good one.

[H. Foley]

Was also a technique that the mafia used for years as well.

[Kippy]

But the papers.

[H. Foley]

The papers, yeah, we did the same. We did a similar thing.

[Kippy]

We would call collect.

[H. Foley]

Call collect.

[Kippy]

Hi, Mom, It's Kevin. She would say no and then know that was to leave the house to come pick me up.

[H. Foley]

Come pick you up after my detentions? Yeah, it was also. It was also. You remember 1-800-Collect. Remember that?

[Kippy]

Yeah. So I'm saying you Call collect.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Didn't Spade do those commercials for 1-800-Collect?

[Kippy]

I feel like he did at that point. There was so many. There was like 10, 10, 2, 20, 10 10. It started out 10, 3, 2, 1, 10, 2, 20,10, 10, 2. They all switched to 1, 800 collect.

[H. Foley]

Was like the original. I think the old guy was in the commercial.

[Kippy]

1-800- call ATD. Spade did it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Spade did it.

[H. Foley]

Spade did it. Damn. Talk about old school.

[Kippy]

I said the prime. A collect call. Probably.

[H. Foley]

Probably a nice check for those.

[Kippy]

Yeah, that's a good.

[H. Foley]

That's a good.

[Kippy]

That's a good one. We would do the call collect and, hey, you know, call and ask for yourself.

[H. Foley]

We did something like that when we would come down the bluebell to see our cousins and then drive back to Wilkes Barre. We would call and ask for ourselves. Call collect and ask for ourselves. So they knew that we got there. So maybe it was my mom called collect, said, I'm calling for Patty. They knew to not accept the charges and whatever.

[Kippy]

Meaning that Patty was home.

[H. Foley]

They knew we were home.

[Kippy]

Gotcha.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. I believe that's what the. What the hustle was.

[Kippy]

That was nuts. So imagine you're just like, I'm out. What a service. I'm out. I don't have any money. I got a call. There's a number that you called, then dialed a number, then said, it's like you're in prison. Do you accept a call from, you know, Eastern State Penitentiary? Hey, it's Kippy.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kippy]

Yeah. Crazy. What a crazy system. That was not that long ago.

[H. Foley]

Call collect. Yeah, it's actually nice. Get you out of a jam.

[Kippy]

Sure. Of course. I mean, at $3 and 50 cents a minute.

[H. Foley]

Think that's what it was?

[Kippy]

Oh, yeah. What were the rates of call and collect? For sure.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kippy]

That's why nobody. I mean, if it was a. If it was 25 cents, you would just take the call and.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, it makes sense.

[Kippy]

You know what I mean?

[H. Foley]

I remember.

[Kippy]

I think I remember it being when I was in. When I was in junior high and we would call from the pay phone after detentions or clinic. If you were doing bad, you had to stay after and go to clinic. I think I remember being 350. So this would be like the year 2000. What was.

[H. Foley]

What's the difference between clinic and detention?

[Kippy]

Clinic was, like, academic. Like, you got it. Like, you're doing bad. You got to stay after and I'll walk work through this with you. Or like, if I had, like, five missed homeworks, they'd be like stay after and do all your homework in clinic.

[Kevin Ryan]

Google saying 25 cents for the first three minutes and then 10 cents after.

[Kippy]

Each minute in 2000. Yeah, I don't feel like that's right. I remember mine being for whatever reason, three.

[H. Foley]

Maybe that's when it switched over. Maybe they banged you out in the 90s.

[Kippy]

Maybe. But I mean, my. This would have been.

[H. Foley]

That's where the turning point would have been.

[Kippy]

This would have been like 99 or whatever. The year 2000.

[H. Foley]

Sweet system. Yeah, I like that. Respect. That's a great question. I respect it.

[Kippy]

Not bad.

[H. Foley]

Everybody did that shit back then.

[Kippy]

Sure. And this and also in schema. This was from Justin. Brand new $10 garbagio member. Are you garbage if your family members used to slide Necco wafer candies into toll baskets to pay tolls on the family trips. What they registered as quarters. But you had to slide them into the basket carefully because if they broke, it wouldn't register once you slid them in and the gate went up. Rumor had it they would jam the coin machine and the next person would get stuck and need the attendant.

[H. Foley]

Ouch.

[Kippy]

That's. I mean, but that's. Then you got to have Necco Wafer or, you know.

[H. Foley]

What's a pack of them cost? 50 cents.

[Kippy]

Nah, they could get the little bang. You just make sure they're in the car. Each one you're spending probably. Probably a 25 cents for the little guy or the big guy is a dollar.

[H. Foley]

That's trash.

[Kippy]

Get you like a year's worth of toll.

[H. Foley]

That's trash. I love a neck away for. You know I do.

[Kippy]

Ah, yeah. That brown one, the licorice one or whatever.

[H. Foley]

That liquor sucked. Yeah. Chocolate one was good.

[Kippy]

I know. But you'd be in the mix and you get the. It's like doing a shot of Sambuca at six years old.

[H. Foley]

It would taint the rest of them after that.

[Kippy]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. There was no going back.

[H. Foley]

Do you remember those?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kippy]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Bang with them.

[Kippy]

This one's from Mitchell. 10$, non recyclable here. Never had one red. Are you garbage if you don't smoke, but you keep a pack of heaters in your truck just so you can toss a couple out the window every time you pass the boys in orange when they throw up, the two fingers asking for a Bernie Helping take the edge off. One felon at a time. Love y'all from South Georgia. So he sees the chain garner the people picking up fucking trash. And I guess that's what they do, they're going throw us heaters.

[H. Foley]

I never knew that.

[Kippy]

I mean, we don't see them.

[H. Foley]

Whoa. That's a good dude right there.

[Kippy]

And then he's just got, like, a pack of marble lights, throws three out the window. That's a.

[H. Foley]

That's a good dude, right?

[Kippy]

Thank you for your service type. That's amazing.

[H. Foley]

Gentleman.

[Kippy]

That's a helping take the edge off one felon at a time.

[H. Foley]

I thought he was gonna say what they say Sebastian did was keep a pack in the car for the broads, for ladies.

[Kippy]

Ah, for felons.

[H. Foley]

That's pretty good.

[Kippy]

Respect that.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kippy]

Make their day. That probably. That probably makes their week.

[H. Foley]

A heater on a chain gang. What, are you kidding me? Greatest thing ever, huh, man?

[Kippy]

A heater on a chain gang. I've needed some.

[H. Foley]

That's a nice heater.

[Kippy]

Never on a chain gang.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kippy]

Jesus.

[H. Foley]

That ladle of water would have put bugs in it.

[Kippy]

A bug man.

[H. Foley]

Still. Yeah. Good, dude.

[Kippy]

Damn, that's really good. I ever say that? One time.

[H. Foley]

That's a gentleman move.

[Kippy]

I was on 95, and there's a Department of Corrections van. There's like. Imagine like a. Imagine, like, UPS van. Like a UPS box drop with the back door up. We're flying down. I mean, we're on. We're on Philadelphia 95. Like, we're doing 70, easily. And there's, like, I don't know, eight prisoners in the back of it. Not chained up. They're just sitting in there and the doors open. The one guy. Yeah, there's two guys. You know, it was like out of a movie, in orange jumpsuit. The one guy's got the orange jumpsuit down to his, like, his waist. The other guy's in it, and he's sitting on the back, like, with his feet dangling off. And, I mean, we are cooking, dude. I remember being looking around me and the dude, they're right in front of me. I got on right behind them. They're, like, looking at me, and I'm like, what, dude? I'm trying to get other people's attention. Like, these guys. Clearly, you're escaping. This is like. And I was expecting to. Then I pull up, and I was expecting to see it. Another guy in an orange jumpsuit driving to be like, I'll kill.

[H. Foley]

Pull over.

[Kippy]

You gotta see I'm winging cigs at him. All right, we gotta wrap it up, though, gang.

[H. Foley]

Wait, so who was driving it?

[Kippy]

Officers or whatever. Whatever. I guess they were on good. Good behavior. So these guys. These guys were hanging the out dude, it was. They were hanging out, like, Dazed and Confused, man.

[H. Foley]

That's wild.

[Kippy]

Yeah, it was legit. It looked like they were out of, like, a 50 cent rapid. It looked like they were on a movie set. That's what it looked like. It was crazy, myself, thinking they were writing my license plate down. Come and get me on the outside.

[H. Foley]

Beat your fat ass gag.

[Kippy]

We love you.

[H. Foley]

We'll see you next week.

[Kippy]

Peace.