Are You Garbage? - "Kippy Gets New Jeans" (Sep 8, 2025) Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Guest/Producer: Luke (occasional input)

Episode Overview

In this lighthearted “family episode,” Kevin Ryan and H. Foley dig into classic Are You Garbage? banter—roasting each other’s fashion choices, exploring their trashy upbringings, and answering fan-submitted "garbage" questions. The central throughline is Kevin's attempt at a fashion upgrade: buying new jeans, only to have their style, distress level, and his entire approach to denim dissected mercilessly by Foley and Luke. The show also meanders through suburban liquor store culture, old cable box drama, cleaning habits, paper towel etiquette, lottery dreams, and more—all with their signature blend of self-deprecation, Philly flavor, and dirtbag pride.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kevin’s New Jeans: A Fashion Saga

[02:11–09:29]

• Kevin unveils his boutique "remitted denim salvage" (salvage, not salvaged!) jeans, purchased as part of his weight loss/fashion glow up. Immediate and sustained ridicule ensues.
• Kevin: “I bought a pair of jeans online. Cool jeans. As I'm losing a couple pounds. Shout out, modern medicine.” [02:28]
• Foley grills him on the price, distressing, and fit: "Looking like Swayze?" [03:05]
• The jeans are “15% too distressed,” with questionable fading and pre-made ridiculous crotch area: “I feel Russian or something... like the pocket should be bedazzled a little bit.” [03:52]
• Luke (producer) calls the distress “not in style”; Kevin feels he’s been sent “the bottom of the barrel.”
• The crew riffs on how to “fix” them, including acid washing and pumice stones; tons of “juicy”/unicorn/ass jokes.
• Foley observes: “Kippy, you ain’t got no ass, baby!” [04:16]
• Kevin’s wife—attempting a suburban style upgrade—urges him to try new looks, but Foley and Luke are not having it.
• Final consensus: “They look great though, man. You look good.” [04:21] — but with lots of resignation.
• Kevin: “My poor fashion decisions aside... let me know if you like them. They might stick around.” [09:19]

2. Liquor Store Parking Lots & Suburban Shame

[10:14–13:33]

• Kevin describes early-morning stroller walks, observing locals lining up—OUTSIDE—to await the opening of a suburban liquor store.
• “What motivates you to stand in line for 10 minutes when you could wait in your car like a goddamn gentleman?” [11:49]
• Foley relates with Philly and NY liquor law nostalgia; they commiserate on the odd cross-section of Americans desperate for their booze at 9am.
• “It’s just the Irish Catholic repressed in me... don’t let anybody know, sweep this under the rug!” [13:20]
• Regional differences in alcohol laws, Quaker-Puritan roots, and American hypocrisy about public drinking are lampooned at length.

3. Trash Talk: Cleaning, Garbage, and Recycle Game

[22:31–28:13]

• Multiple fan-submitted questions spark relatable dirtbag confessions.
• Discussion: Is it garbage to refer to $220 as “a quarter of a thousand dollars” in a heated fight with Xfinity? [22:32] Both hosts enthusiastically agree—hype it up when fighting corporations!
• Cable equipment returns, DVR drama, and cable company schemes make for rich banter.
• Foley’s mom is notorious for changing private trash collection companies every four months to get free bins.
• Kevin is “jammed up” in the burbs with overflowing recyclables, missed pick-ups, and a garage full of “graveyard cardboard.”
• The hosts diverge in trash habits: Kevin is a stickler for recycling (unless the bin is full), Foley is “real loose with the recycling, truth be told.” [27:57]
• “I’m not a fucking animal. Garage.” [27:19]

4. Household Chores & Trashy Cleaning Techniques

[29:09–32:53]

• Kevin critiques Foley's table-wiping technique as “more atom bomb than precision sniper... heavy on the spray, no love in it.” [29:10]
• Foley: “What am I, the Karate Kid? I do the fucking grain and I’m done. I’m insulted, to be honest with you.” [30:34]
• Foley defends his childhood scrubbing skills and reminisces about being praised for cleaning the tub.
• Banter extends to placemats, napkin quality (“coffee filter johns”), and the use of paper towels as napkins—acknowledged as “frat house shit.” [33:19]
• “To sit down with paper towels, to have your mom dab her face with bounty... little crude.” [33:41]

5. Classic AYG: Dish Rags, Trash Bags, and Eating Out of the Trash

[34:55–39:15]

• Is it garbage to hang a dish rag on the oven handle and use it for everything? Overwhelming yes, from all.
• “That’s the oven mitt that’s wiping this, that’s wiping that, that’s a napkin.” [35:58]
• Kevin dreams of an endless supply of clean rags like in a hotel—Foley always steals bar and car wash rags, which Kevin finds gross.
• Contractor bags, shop rags, and Gojo are fondly remembered as “the marks of a real working man.”
• Foley confesses to eating out of the (fresh) trash if his food is mistakenly thrown away—“If it’s in the bag, you grab it out!” [38:42]
• Kevin: “Adjacent to refuse is refuse.” [38:56]

6. Boners in Class & Adolescent Trauma

[41:00–44:14]

• Fan question: Ever get a boner in front of class?
• Kevin: “If it happened around the 20 minute mark, you’re fine... but if that hits in the last seven minutes, you’re fucked.” [42:11]
• The hosts share horror stories of unwanted erections as teens—various coping techniques, including “tucking into the waistband.”
• Foley: “Man, I’d kill for that now. Young and alive.” [42:52]

7. Financial Dirtbaggery: Credit, Loans, and the Dream of the Big Score

[45:10–66:59]

• Debates around what dollar amount on a scratch-off justifies quitting or merely calling out from an hourly job.
• “If somebody would have handed me $2,000? I’d be gone.” [47:02]
• Kevin shares a real story of SEPTA workers (Philly transit) winning the Powerball and splitting millions, with one buying a sensible split-level house and keeping his job.
• “I’d be dead. I wouldn’t be able to control myself.” - Foley on his theoretical lottery win [50:08]
• Segues into debt consolidation: Is it garbage to pay expensive loans with cheaper loans? Nope, it’s “just dirtbag business sense.” [64:09]
• Luke, the producer, is outed as the lone non-debt-having, credit-responsible member of the team.
• Kevin: “The Ray Donovan of credit can’t fix this thing. I’m fucked, dude.” [64:39]

8. Classic Miscellaneous Trash:

• Paper Towels as Napkins: “I’m a paper towel man myself. We don’t have napkins at the house.” [33:29]
• Credit Abuse Confessions: Tall tales of running up their (and friends’) credit cards in early adulthood, often for wild nights, all for the crew.
• “We spent it as a crew!” [67:21]
• Student Loan Ridiculousness: Kevin describes blowing student loan refunds on pizza and plane tickets: “I remember getting, like, $9,000 sent to me, and I was like, you dumb, dude. You dumb.” [59:14]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jean Drama
  • "You don't think I can get a pair of dungarees?" – Kevin, [02:23]
  • "Kippy, you ain't got no ass, baby!" – Foley, [04:16]
• Liquor Store Judgment
  • “Sit in your car like a goddamn lady or gentleman!” – Kevin, [13:10]
• Cleaning Banter
  • "It's more atom bomb rather than precision sniper." – Kevin, [29:24]
  • “I go with the grain.” – Foley, [29:16]
• Credit Score Mayhem
  • “The Ray Donovan of credit can’t fix this thing.” – Kevin, [64:39]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• New Jeans Debacle: [02:11–09:29]
• Liquor Store Behavior: [10:14–13:33]
• Trash Cans & Recycling: [22:31–28:13]
• Cleaning Habits: [29:09–32:53]
• Dish Rags & Trash Bags: [34:55–39:15]
• Classroom Boners: [41:00–44:14]
• Scratch-Offs/Lottery/Financials: [45:10–66:59]

Tone & Style

Unfiltered, affectionate trash talk between friends; working-class Philly and Jersey references abound, with lots of self-deprecating humor, quick asides, and punchy one-liners. Foley and Kevin play up their “garbage” credentials and roast each other in equal measure, inviting the audience to revel in shared dirtbag nostalgia.

Summary for Non-Listeners

This episode is a quintessential Are You Garbage? showcase: clothing mishaps, adulthood struggles, outdated suburbs vs. city cool debates, and a sampling of America’s finest “garbage” habits, all seasoned with memories of broke adolescence and familial quirks. Whether you’re hung up on jeans, angling to beat the system at the liquor store, or just wondering if your use of paper towels at dinner is trashy—the boys have got you covered (and will make you laugh about it).

For more, listen to the full episode or join the Army of Garbage on Patreon.