Late Credit Card Payments! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Summary

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Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Episode: Late Credit Card Payments!
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Date: December 1, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this “family episode” of Are You Garbage?, hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley dive deep into personal finance disasters, old-school dirtbag habits, and the chaos of trying (and failing) to become responsible adults. This slice-of-life, self-roast heavy episode features a running saga of late credit card payments (primarily Kevin’s), tales of trashy gift-giving, unconventional ways to survive financial hardship, and the classic game show style “garbage” declarations the show is known for. Throughout, they’re joined by producer Luke Dempsey, who gets roped into the fiscal drama and family-style ribbing.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Trashy Financial Woes & Credit Card Fails

Timestamps: roughly 03:00 – 14:00

• Kevin admits to late payments on his Venmo credit card for the fourth month in a row. He can only pay the minimum using funds that have run dry, asking his co-hosts to “Venmo me money so I can make a payment today.”
• Plaid, linking banks, and modern trash: The hosts riff on the awkwardness of linking questionable banks to payment apps, noting:
  • “You use that Plaid to link your bank?” - Kevin (05:21)
  • “That's so trashy. What the fuck?” - Foley (06:15)
• The generational divide:
  • Kevin describes Venmo’s millennial-friendly tone (“Yo, bro. What's up, Pockets?”) vs. American Express’s intimidating mailers (“Mr. Foley, to whom it may concern…”).
• Workarounds and pettiness:
  • Kevin discusses scraping together petty cash and the awkwardness, plus the toll of mounting minimum payments and incessant credit dings.
  • Luke Dempsey reveals he has old, unpaid Venmo requests to Kevin, showing the tightrope they all walk between business, friendship, and financial chaos.

Notable Quote:

“I've just been making the minimum payment now. But ... now I don't have any money in my Venmo. So one of you has to Venmo me money so I can make a payment today. I assume I'm looking at the Dempsey Group for this one.”
— Kevin Ryan [08:04]

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2. Banking, Bill Avoidance, and Grown-Up (Trash) Habits

Timestamps: 19:37 – 24:47

• Garbage strategies for bills after changing banks:
  • Both admit to letting companies “find them” for updated card info after switches and ignore update requests.
  • “If they really need it, they'll come find me. I operate the same way.” — Kevin (20:12)
• Dreading paperwork and adult responsibilities:
  • Foley confesses to not changing addresses or opening mail, which only delivers bad news anyway.
• Living on the “edge” with late notices:
  • The color of your collection envelope tells all: “Getting a yellow one is scary.” — Foley (22:29)
  • Kevin: “Something bright red. Yikes.” (22:31)
  • Letting the anxiety go: “You become so broke that it's like, you can't shut it down ... I've defaulted on student loan. I've done everything.” — Kevin (22:38)

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3. Blue-Collar Life & Gift-Giving Garbage

Timestamps: 27:00 – 47:00

Early Slurpee Rules & Lunch Timing

• Slurpee etiquette:
  • A hotly debated topic—earliest “gentlemanly” time for a Slurpee (11am per Foley).
  • But Kevin calls out that for early shift laborers, all bets are off:

    “If you're up at six—not one day, but a multiple days—your lunchtime gets shifted up. I'd be doing a hot dog, 10am.” — Kevin (27:16)

The Gift Bag & Tissue Paper Debate

• Saving and recycling tissue paper:
  • A crucial “dirtbag move” according to Kevin who always has a bag but never tissue paper and must raid his mom’s closet last minute.
• Improvisational wrapping:
  • Foley: “That tissue paper... you open that shit up, you're never folding that back nice.” (44:54)
• Absolute chaos:
  • Kevin jams gifts into whatever bags are around, sometimes with the box sticking halfway out and a handful of rogue tissue paper—generally agreed to be “garbage, but relatable.”
• Regifting etiquette: It's considered completely fine among the boys.

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4. Root Beer Floats, Milkshakes, and ‘Fat Guy Secrets’

Timestamps: 49:30 – 57:00

• Is making two root beer floats a night “garbage” or not?
  • Foley loves it. Kevin is unimpressed and slams the very essence of a root beer float:

    “I gotta be honest with you ... I think I've only had one, one time, I go, this is a shitty version of ice cream and soda. You're crazy.” — Kevin (50:43)

• Milkshake After Dinner—Taboo or Genius?
  • A deeply silly debate about why Italian restaurants don’t serve Neapolitan milkshakes. Kevin:

    “Why can't you get a milkshake as dessert at an Italian restaurant? ... You're telling me I can't go to quality Italian where you get a chicken parm pizza and a tiramisu, but a cheesecake milkshake is out of the question?” (55:06)

• Fat Guy Knowledge:
  • Foley expresses disbelief Kevin even knows what Neapolitan is, showcasing their endless low-stakes rivalry.

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5. Childhood, Avoidance, and Classic Garbage Moves

Timestamps: 28:14 – 64:00

• Classic stories:
  • Using the shower to heat the bedroom. Foley: “I’m all for running it five minutes to warm up the bathroom. I like that.” (35:33)
  • Kevin’s resourceful: “To not wet the floor? I'll step on whatever I'm not, like, wearing.” (39:22)
• Old school dirtbag upbringing:
  • Not opening mail on purpose, hiding bills in drawers, running from responsibility.
  • Family strategies for ignoring phone calls from creditors. “My dad had a great line. Someone's like, I'll take your ass to court or something. He goes, get in line. That also goes around the block.” (22:54)
• Vintage video gaming:
  • Foley and Ryan reminisce about Sega, Genesis, and being beaten at Goldeneye because Kevin never grinds solo.

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

“Garbage” Wisdom

• On creditors chasing updated cards:

  “If they really need it, they'll come find me. I operate the same way.” — Kevin Ryan (20:12)

• On financial anxiety:

  “You become so broke that it's like, you can't shut it down ... I've defaulted on student loan. I've done everything.” — Kevin (22:38)

• On overdraft charges:

  “You're telling me I buy a pack of gum for a dollar, you charge me $35 on top of that?” — Liam, quoted by Kevin (10:58)

• On early lunches:

  “I'd be doing a hot dog. 10:00am.” — Kevin Ryan (27:22)

• On regifting bags:

  “Those are getting passed around like fuckin’ loose cigarettes in jail.” — Kevin (45:14)

• Milkshake vs. Root Beer Float:

  “Why aren't they doing [milkshakes] for dessert at Italian restaurants?... I'm not saying you're anti-milkshake, but you're not pro-milkshake.” — Kevin [56:06–58:04]

Classic Foley One-Liners

• On letting bills slide:

  “It's hard to beat a man with no fear.” (23:16)

• On warming the bathroom:

  “My shower ain't going to pull the chips out of Taiwan. Guys are on your own.” (36:07)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:00 – 14:00: Kevin’s late credit card woes, bill paying struggles, and Venmo drama
• 19:37 – 24:47: Avoiding bill updates, growing up dodging mail
• 27:00 – 28:30: Early lunches and Slurpee timing debate
• 35:05 – 39:00: Using the shower as room heat, garbage bathmat solutions
• 44:39 – 47:47: Gift bag and tissue paper recycling etiquette
• 49:30 – 57:00: Root beer float and milkshake showdowns
• 63:08 – End: Reliving childhood game systems, Goldeneye standoffs

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Tone and Style

True to AYG form, the episode is marked by self-deprecating humor, blunt honesty about being “trash,” a distinct working-class Philly flavor, and a rapid-fire barrage of bits. Banter, quick-witted asides, and playful insults abound—anchored by the duo’s chemistry and comedic timing.

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Conclusion

If you’ve ever juggled bill collectors, borrowed (or gifted) money via Venmo, botched holiday wrapping jobs, or survived on minimum payments and nostalgia, this episode serves as both a cathartic confessional and a stand-up, blue-collar testament. The hosts prove yet again: sometimes, being “garbage” just means being real.

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Transcript

[Kevin Ryan]

We got new tour dates to announce, gang. Obviously, we got Philadelphia at the Met December 13th. But then we're headed to Austin, Tampa, Chicago, Bloomington, Indiana, Nashville, Tennessee. We got Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and Cleveland, Ohio. Get your tickets right now. Are you garbage.com? the boys are coming.

[Hig Foley]

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are you Gahbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or. Or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RU Garbage. It's our little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find it at the group to be classy. Yeah, just a big old piece of trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

Trash, trash, trash.

[Hig Foley]

I'm your host, Hig Foley. Coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition. You. She just got a picture in the paper, okay? I don't know for what. Okay, Mike Coates is coming at you across the table. He is the CEO of Are you garbage? He is an international businessman, the Kippy of the year. Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

[Kevin Ryan]

What up, gang? Shout out to you as always, please make sure you rate View subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify, baby. And then obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com. all you, garbage, you go over there, you join the. Over 15,000 strong, baby.

[Hig Foley]

15K.

[Kevin Ryan]

15 Patreon members. That army of garbage, that battalion, that platoon is strong.

[Hig Foley]

That's about what Toady lost on the Eagles this weekend.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then obviously, guys, we just launched a bunch of new dates. Go get your tickets. We got Austin, we got Tampa, we got Chicago, L.A. is coming soon. We got Bloomington, Indiana. A lot of places go to the website. Check that Philadelphia, the Met. That's coming up soon. Get them tickets. The boys are coming home to roost. Yeah, and merch. Merch is on.

[Hig Foley]

New merch, boys. Got a lot.

[Kevin Ryan]

A lot of fucking things flying around up here.

[Hig Foley]

Get them Bugman Tees.

[Kevin Ryan]

Plenty still available while supplies last for the next five years.

[Hig Foley]

Nobody wants to remind her of the worst summer ever.

[Kevin Ryan]

I live in it, you know, But.

[Hig Foley]

I was gonna say one.

[Kevin Ryan]

The floor is yours.

[Hig Foley]

Apologize for the voice. Voice is coming and going a little bit. I got a Ludens in. Which is the fat kid.

[Kevin Ryan]

Those did it. Those didn't make it home from the fucking Rite Aid when I was. When I was rolling back when I was banging.

[Hig Foley]

Shows you how our good pal Ryan Diesel, director of operations. How Good. He is down at Skank Fest, the voice was really acting up. Said, give me some cough drops. Shows up with them. I was looking for holes. Something that actually works.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Hig Foley]

But he knew to get fatty little sweet treat.

[Kevin Ryan]

Big dog likes a sweet treat.

[Hig Foley]

I just eat them like candy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, with. No, he.

[Hig Foley]

They're so good. What's the difference?

[Kevin Ryan]

Why don't you do you got to get a little more proactive on.

[Hig Foley]

I have started.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay though.

[Hig Foley]

Saltwater rinses in the morning and stuff like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Unfiltered cigarettes. Is that what you're doing? Unfiltered eaters. Bite them off. I found myself in a little bit of a financial predicament.

[Hig Foley]

Nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

Welcome to the party.

[Hig Foley]

We are so fucking back, baby. Excellent.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can't have nothing. Nice foreclosure. No, Jay, easy. I'm not that fucking sick. Don't put that juju on me. That hex. I just got an email. Oh, this would be for the fourth month in a row I've gotten this email and I've been able to throw some dance moves, some. Some workarounds at it.

[Hig Foley]

Con Edison shut off notice.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, you're not far off, Kevin. Did you forget something? Let me tell you what.

[Hig Foley]

That's how it opens.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Hig Foley]

Who the fuck knows you like that?

[Kevin Ryan]

Synchrony bank. Who I'm on the sheet with. That's my Venmo credit card. I got the Venmo credit card back when my credit wasn't great and I needed some walking around money.

[Hig Foley]

I would argue it's probably not great now. What's your credit at?

[Kevin Ryan]

I call it. You know, not great after this. 6, 705, I think. But then I run one up. You know, the birds don't cover. I got a fucking dump some money back. Yeah.

[Hig Foley]

You still use this Venmo credit card?

[Kevin Ryan]

Occasionally. Some stuff's on it.

[Hig Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know what is. And go over to Transactions if you like. Off the air. You missed a payment. Let's get back on track.

[Hig Foley]

Wow, that's pretty. That's like really going after the younger generation.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[Hig Foley]

Yo, bro. What's up, Pockets?

[Kevin Ryan]

A little light this month.

[Hig Foley]

I know you're waiting on something.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're coming with cool teacher vibes.

[Hig Foley]

Yeah, for sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what they're trying to do.

[Hig Foley]

I know your project managing job is going well and the DJ career is about to take off, but we're gonna need that cheddar. Sorry, bro. I can tell you who doesn't talk like that. The people at American Express.

[Kevin Ryan]

They operate by certified mail. Mr. Foley, to whom? It's making a pudgy when they call you.

[Hig Foley]

Oh, boy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Here's the problem. It's not accepting my bank. I try to put my bank account. I can't. You know how it gives you that.

[Hig Foley]

Mr. Wright, unfortunately, you have a credible financial institution that we don't work with. This guy's got a real bank.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, you know, you use that plaid to link your bank.

[Hig Foley]

Oh, my God.

[Kevin Ryan]

What? You don't do that. Is that bad?

[Hig Foley]

I do that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I do that. Why? Everyone's doing it.

[Hig Foley]

I don't think so.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean?

[Hig Foley]

That's your.

[Kevin Ryan]

No. Everyone does. No, no.

[Hig Foley]

Broke. Bad news.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shit. Nuh.

[Hig Foley]

I did that a couple days ago.

[Kevin Ryan]

I pla. Yeah.

[Hig Foley]

Sending a Hail Mary.

[Kevin Ryan]

What? No.

[Luke Dempsey]

I'm always scared when I do give up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just. They got everything. They got it. If they want it, they got it.

[Luke Dempsey]

The emblem isn't nice enough.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's not. It's not. You always get like, you're leaving the site. You're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Fucking take me to a second location.

[Hig Foley]

You're leaving the site to a third party authorization.

[Kevin Ryan]

But then. But then I see they. This is so funny. I see they got the pictures of like, the Wells Fargo. How they gonna. You can't find that anywhere. You know what I mean? That looks. That looks sanctioned.

[Hig Foley]

Oh, picking your bank.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Hig Foley]

It's so trashy. What the fuck?

[Kevin Ryan]

But it won't link something scod. You're already linked. And then I go, but I'm not linked. So now I try linking a check in. I try. I can't. I can't. Like, nothing. I've been trying for months and I'm late every Monday. It keeps dinging. How long.

[Hig Foley]

How long you been missing?

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, I found the workaround. I can pay the minimum with my.

[Hig Foley]

Cash at the Venmo office.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can you tell us? I don't think so.

[Hig Foley]

Where's Venmo at? Where's our headquarters?

[Kevin Ryan]

Somebody get them on the phone.

[Hig Foley]

You can't. That's the problem with his generation. I remember, nobody wants to talk.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember you complaining you're on the phone with Venmo, And I go, who the fuck's gotta call me now? I gotta call Venmo. So listen, here's my workaround and I need help. If you guys are my sharks, I need help, okay? I need some cash on me.

[Hig Foley]

You take something from petty cash if you need it, but you got to put that back.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's crazy. You know the rules. Which means you've been dipping into the petty Cash.

[Hig Foley]

I assume that would be highly frowned.

[Kevin Ryan]

Upon if you just started taking money from me. Yeah, that'd be pretty frowned upon, taking money from you. You're not putting money in there. I'm not going to check the petty cash. There's an extra C note walking around.

[Hig Foley]

That's T shirt. You don't care about that rich guy like you wearing plaid.

[Kevin Ryan]

I am wearing plaid.

[Hig Foley]

It's a bad name.

[Kevin Ryan]

Plaid.

[Hig Foley]

You'll never see us coming.

[Kevin Ryan]

Plaid will blend right in. We rob you hiding in plain sight.

[Hig Foley]

What is that?

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, they're never gonna be a sponsor.

[Hig Foley]

Who thinks of that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hold on. That's a brilliant. Hold on. So here's my thing. I've been able to make the minimum payment for a while, right? Cuz I had. I carried a balance in my Venmo and. You can? I can. Cuz I can't like pay me lose.

[Hig Foley]

Your Venmo cat with your.

[Kevin Ryan]

I can pay with the balance but I don't have enough. So I've just been making the minimum payment now. But I. That's not. I now I don't have any money in my Venmo. So one of you has to Venmo me money so I can make a payment today. I assume that's not gonna be you. I assume I'm. I assume I'm looking at the Dempsey Group for this one. Okay.

[Hig Foley]

This is what he's been waiting for.

[Kevin Ryan]

Luke. Luke's now. No, this is bad Luke. This is the corporate takeover. This is the squeeze out. Huh? He's got me, right? Is your mom orchestrate this? You sandbag.

[Luke Dempsey]

And funny because my mom always wants. Always wants to send Venmo money because she just gets and she doesn't like transfer to her account.

[Kevin Ryan]

So. Yeah.

[Hig Foley]

So she leaves it in Venmo.

[Luke Dempsey]

Mrs. Dempsey would gladly say no.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't. I don't need that fucking shark swimming around here.

[Hig Foley]

Wow, she just leaves it in there?

[Luke Dempsey]

Yeah, she got it.

[Kevin Ryan]

You wouldn't do that.

[Hig Foley]

No, no, I need it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, I got a current minimum due of 101. That includes the past due balance of the $41 that was due 10 days ago. What's it take to get you clear current balance?

[Hig Foley]

You're dreaming.

[Kevin Ryan]

You don't pay. Karen currently broke up top. Hit me low. Where I'm at. Maybe where my balance is.

[Hig Foley]

I'm at my Venmo limit. I'm sorry, I can't help you for another 24 hours.

[Kevin Ryan]

My current balance has been sitting like this for a while. Out of its interest because I've just been paying a minimum payment for about four to six months.

[Hig Foley]

What are you doing?

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[Hig Foley]

Supposed to be the business owner?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, we run a garbage operation here. What do you mean?

[Hig Foley]

I like that. I do that. I expect you to run the books. Clean.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is clean.

[Luke Dempsey]

Now, what does a company like Venmo charge you for interest?

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, I don't. I don't.

[Hig Foley]

Four tokens.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I don't know. I don't have my phone on me either, but it is three gift boxes.

[Hig Foley]

And two pizza slice emojis.

[Kevin Ryan]

See what they charge. But I can get better money on his street, if you know what I mean.

[Hig Foley]

Better points in the street.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember my. My cousin yelling at like Wachovia bank or something. And, dude, this is shout out, shout out. My cousin Liam. This is when overdraft just got instituted.

[Hig Foley]

And when was that?

[Kevin Ryan]

This is 15, 20 years ago. Something is a long overdraft.

[Hig Foley]

Hasn't always been a thing.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, not like debit cards weren't like, you know, you didn't have the overdraft protection once they realized they could make a shit ton of money and they whack you out every charge. So if you buy a package to.

[Hig Foley]

Like, you know, as letting the charge.

[Kevin Ryan]

Go through, they're going to charge you 35 bucks.

[Hig Foley]

So.

[Kevin Ryan]

So my cousin ran through it in like a weekend, just not knowing, just going, I got the overdraft. You know, you're charging me the 35 bucks. He didn't realize he's getting whacked out every time. And I remember him calling the bank the next. The Monday morning. He's going, they were sitting.

[Hig Foley]

I'll kill myself.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's come. We're sitting in Port Richmond. We're sitting in a row home in Port Richmond. I'm hungover to the Guild. And he goes, he's screaming at this lady on the bank from Wachovi. And he's going, hey, fuck you, Mary. He's going, you're telling me I buy a pack of gum for a dollar, you charge me $35 on top of that? And she goes, yes. That's how we do it. I get cheaper money on the street, God damn it. I go, she don't care. I'm like, you're not negotiating with her.

[Hig Foley]

Don't take one or two off. That's the best they do.

[Kevin Ryan]

TD used to be two every six months. What's the current?

[Luke Dempsey]

The penalty APR rate is 2749.

[Hig Foley]

That's a lot of gum.

[Kevin Ryan]

I owe 653.596535. And then I'm cutting it in half. I'm never using it again.

[Luke Dempsey]

You want it right now?

[Kevin Ryan]

After. I don't. I don't. I don't need this documented for. If you ever try to sue, come after me for 10% of the company. I can always say this was part of a comedy bit.

[Hig Foley]

You have 600 in your Venmo?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it's linked to your card.

[Hig Foley]

Wow.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's got $600. I got plaid. He's plaid it up.

[Hig Foley]

I don't know if I am linked like that, to be honest with you. I think it's just in there. I got nothing in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got to. You got to go to a Venmo atm, feed money in. But I will need to take care of that today because I also just got an email that I'm getting dinged on my credit report again for that because I'm late every month and I can't figure it out. That's how they get you. This is how big bank gets you. I don't like it.

[Luke Dempsey]

Going through my transactions, I'm seeing. I requested $87 from Kevin Ryan.

[Hig Foley]

Did you get that?

[Luke Dempsey]

Nope, it's still sitting. I should remind him. Actually, I'm going to remind them right now.

[Hig Foley]

Oh, there's reminders on there. Oh, my God.

[Kevin Ryan]

And he's got the balls. Talk about sending.

[Hig Foley]

Does he send them?

[Kevin Ryan]

I'll send reminders. $87. He'll send me screenshots.

[Hig Foley]

All the bottles of wine, lunches. You're shaking the guy there for $87.

[Kevin Ryan]

What else is on there? Not none of your personal account up. He's got a couple.

[Luke Dempsey]

It was just the two. Yeah.

[Hig Foley]

Do we have an AYG Venmo.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh.

[Hig Foley]

Cool. Doing pretty good.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's the other one?

[Luke Dempsey]

It was just for 54 bucks.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's small potatoes to a guy like that.

[Hig Foley]

And a rich guy like you can't pay his credit card bill.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm one of those rich guys that's stiffing everybody around town.

[Hig Foley]

What they call cash poor. Now, we sell all this. We're doing pretty good.

[Kevin Ryan]

But this.

[Hig Foley]

You're hard.

[Kevin Ryan]

What are you. What are you shopping this around? You're on LoopNet and a podcast. That's where you buy and sell businesses. It's like Zillow for business. It's a picture of me and you.

[Hig Foley]

I was gonna say doing well. Ah, that's all right. You have $600 in your Venmo, Kevin.

[Luke Dempsey]

Why don't you check out your Venmo?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't have my phone on me.

[Hig Foley]

Wow.

[Luke Dempsey]

660 your way.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, no, no.

[Hig Foley]

He's getting him. Don't take more.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not touching anything. Diesel, throw my phone off a bridge.

[Hig Foley]

Listen, you tell your parents.

[Luke Dempsey]

What do you want?

[Kevin Ryan]

You want something?

[Luke Dempsey]

I'll send something your way, too.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now you got him. You should have went to him first, you idiot. That's how you. You should have just sent him a hundred bucks. He'd be all over you.

[Hig Foley]

You buy me, you kill him. Can't buy a man with morals.

[Kevin Ryan]

Next episode. You're back there, he's here. I'm doing a show with Luke. You're back there. Cameras are all upside down and shit.

[Hig Foley]

400 bucks.

[Kevin Ryan]

Said he'd buy me dinner. Oh, you stink. But all that's neither here nor there.

[Hig Foley]

I was gonna say, you tell your family this company is not for sale unless they come.

[Kevin Ryan]

What a chat.

[Luke Dempsey]

Guy like you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Guy like you, you would sell the Popsicle stand for nothing.

[Hig Foley]

What do you mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

You'd sell it for a pack of Ludens.

[Hig Foley]

Got one left. We still have to do the show. We still get to do the show.

[Luke Dempsey]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, who would buy the show without us?

[Hig Foley]

Couple of these Russian.

[Kevin Ryan]

Couple these Chechnyan guys I got on the hook. Welcome back.

[Hig Foley]

They want to turn Tooties into a brothel.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're these. That's great.

[Hig Foley]

I like the one in the hit. The one in the what? The hit. It's a hit. The hit.

[Luke Dempsey]

It's like the no Jumper Pod where you podcast for an hour, then you guys fuck after.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're sitting here. We're sitting here interviewing guys from the Kremlin, and then they fuck us. Can we release this?

[Hig Foley]

I was gonna say, it's just me and you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Every week.

[Hig Foley]

We just bang.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm going, what, no guest again? You're like, I don't know, dude. They said. They said no. Guess. Ah, fuck.

[Hig Foley]

Jane Wilder's running late, so it's gonna be you and me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Hig Foley]

That's funny.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, Kip.

[Hig Foley]

Let's talk about Noble Travel.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ooh. Noble, Noble, Noble.

[Hig Foley]

We're talking about the best zipper, less luggage out there in the game. Dank gang. Do yourself a favor. We're talking about Noble Travel.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm.

[Hig Foley]

You ever think about how easy it is to break your luggage?

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't. But now. Now with Noble.

[Hig Foley]

Do you think about it constantly leaving your luggage room with the hotel staff, airline employees, you know what they like to like to dig through and find your stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

Snoop a doop.

[Hig Foley]

Yeah. What Elvis say bellhops, huh? Route through your luggage and get your Stuff. Talking about a ballpoint pen that could pierce luggage zippers in seconds. The zippers, boom, bang, right in there. What you want to do is you want to get Noble Travel. That's your passport. You got laptops in there. What are you going to do? Noble completely removes the zipper. It's zipperless latch.

[Kevin Ryan]

Look.

[Hig Foley]

Suitcase that closes like a safe.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. It's two halves meet with a tight seal. You hear it and you feel when it clicks and it locks, baby. Suck it.

[Hig Foley]

Nobody's getting in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nah. Tight. Air tight, baby. Guys, Noble's fantastic. They sent it to us. We travel with it now and you feel safe. It's not that thing. You're not gonna worry. It's coming out of the luggage thing. All your clothes, your belongings are floating everywhere. You know it's. All of your stuff is secure. It's got built in charging ports to keep your phone alive at the gate. No more crouching next to a random outlet for 5% looking like a bozo. Front laptop pocket makes it TSA a breeze. Zip it right out. Boom. Plug it right back in. They have over 500,000 suitcases sold in the highest rated luggage brand in the category by trustpilot. Noble gives you the real travel, peace of mind, security, design and convenience all in one. For a limited time, Noble is giving the biggest sale ever. Head to nobletravel.com for up to 50%. 58% off your entire order. That's a lot of stuff. That's Noble. N o b l travel.com for 58% off. After you purchase or ask you how you heard about them, please support the show and tell them the boy sent you. Do it, kid.

[Hig Foley]

Let's talk about Bluechew.

[Kevin Ryan]

Knock, knock. Boner down.

[Hig Foley]

In a world with limp noodles. You want to go for Blue Chew this holiday season. If you want to knock her out of the bedroom, we're talking about delivered straight to your door in discreet packaging. Bluechew dissolves under the tongue and works as little as 15 minutes. That means you can get it on quicker and stay in the game longer. Hello.

[Kevin Ryan]

But don't pop it too quick. Don't be doing it before you leave for dinner. Otherwise. Otherwise the subway rides gonna be a little awkward.

[Hig Foley]

Embarrass yourself in a coach I know.

[Kevin Ryan]

Don't be doing that. Next time you get the U up text, make sure you are ready. Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options. @bluechew.com they got a special offer for our listeners. You get 10% off your first month of BlueChew. With the code GARBAGE. That's promo code GARBAGE. Visit bluetooth.com for more details and important safety information. Forget about Netflix and Chill. It's Netflix and Phil. Baby, if your bed could talk after this, it'd be asking for a break. How you doing? Full ignition in 15 minutes or less. And listen, this ain't your grandpa's little blue pill. This is high quality stuff we're talking about. Back with a vengeance. Yeah. Visit bluechew.com for more promo for more details, important safety information. We thank Bluechew for sponsoring the podcast.

[Hig Foley]

Yes, we do. We love you.

[Kevin Ryan]

As I tried to state before you took this show into the gutter, that's not the new program and we're doing around here is still a family episode. Regardless of how much debt I may or may not be in.

[Hig Foley]

Next week we're going all country.

[Kevin Ryan]

As you know, that's gosh darn family episode. When you join the old Patreon, we'll answer your garbage questions on the air. That being said, let's get into it, please. This isn't the same world. This is taking down big bank institutions. This is for Mitchell. Are you garbage? If you make people or companies chase you down for a new credit card numbers after you switch banks. I did it. And I've switched my card recently and I've been letting cards decline all over town. If they really need it, they'll come find me. I operate the same way.

[Hig Foley]

Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. They're gonna alert you that this did. Like, you'll get email. Hey, this didn't go through bills and stuff.

[Hig Foley]

I.

[Kevin Ryan]

When I get it. Yeah. When I get a new debit card, I'm not like logging into Con Ed and changing my account.

[Hig Foley]

I always thought that it did it automatically.

[Kevin Ryan]

Whoa.

[Hig Foley]

Might explain the lights off of my house and the weird gas smell. I hate all that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude, I gotta.

[Hig Foley]

I'm sick of it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I gotta change the mail, which I don't know how.

[Hig Foley]

The mail.

[Kevin Ryan]

I moved.

[Hig Foley]

I told you. I remember when we were talking about switching apartments that. And you said it was so ridiculous. But that's what I thought about the most.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[Hig Foley]

You change your license to fucking mail to this to that. I hate all that shit, but I really hate all the electronic stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I just. I don't mind it and I. It is like such a burden hanging over you and it is like, what responsibility. Like responsible people. That's something. Luke would. Luke would get his new car. They pull it up to log into all the different things.

[Hig Foley]

Little laptop at his breakfast nook with.

[Kevin Ryan]

His fruit bowl and half of this company. What the fat one say today? He's afraid. He's got a newspaper open. Piece of shit. Oh. What's AYG trading at Pankin? Apparently got mixed up in a Venmo scandal.

[Luke Dempsey]

Diesel's my Alfred. Just reading me what you got? A report.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. The fat one called the bald one bald, and the bald one called the fat one fat.

[Hig Foley]

That's great.

[Kevin Ryan]

More at 11. Yeah, I don't. I'm bad with all that. And I'm. I get it from my dad. We never used to let. We never used to open the mail. I'm the same. I don't like why it's bad news. No, I mean, no one's going, hey.

[Hig Foley]

I'm agreeing with you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, here's that check for 500 you were looking for. That's never the case. I remember stacks and I remember going on at some point and going, you gotta listen. I'm here's very responsible as the next guy.

[Hig Foley]

I'm running out of places to eat.

[Kevin Ryan]

My cereal, but you're gonna have to do something about this. I remember. And then, you know, the colors get more and more severe as things go on. I don't. I don't know, Luke. I don't know if you and the Dempsey's ever received fucking hot pink envelopes, but they want. That's their money, and they want it now.

[Hig Foley]

Getting a yellow one is scary.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, Something bright red. Yikes.

[Hig Foley]

You can't scare me with an envelope.

[Kevin Ryan]

I have that. Yeah, you can't. I'm at this point, you know, in our early days of comedy, you become so. So broke that it's like, you can't shut it down. I mean, I've had. I've defaulted on student loan. I've done everything.

[Hig Foley]

You want to come after me, then, well, my life's on fire right now.

[Kevin Ryan]

My dad had a great line. Someone's like, I'll take your ass to court or something. He goes, get in line. That also goes around the block. I said, God damn, I'm writing that down. So I'm like, okay, I'll kick your ass. He goes, get in line. That also starts around the block. Probably taking a fucking rip in a mar bread, drinking a Michelob.

[Hig Foley]

It's hard to beat a man with no fear.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Hig Foley]

Nothing to lose.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nothing. Yeah, that's why, like, I do. I used to have anxiety. Like, a lot of my anxiety is gone now that just, like, I can keep the. Like that. Everything's just. I can't. I'd have to severely this up. Drive hit me. Drive hit him to. You know, I've slowed down enough in my life that that's not relatively possible. You know what I mean? I hope not, but me too. Depends if the fucking Dempsey group bamboozles me and takes all my proxy votes.

[Hig Foley]

Well, that's always our parachute.

[Kevin Ryan]

What? Sell to Luke's dad.

[Hig Foley]

Something does happen, a PR thing, so.

[Kevin Ryan]

To Luke.

[Hig Foley]

I'll sweep it under the rug. Kill who they got to kill.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Hig Foley]

Pay off where they got to pay off. Put us to work.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that's what I want.

[Luke Dempsey]

They're starting the farm. We'll just be farmhands podcasting out the land.

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh?

[Luke Dempsey]

They're starting, like, a farm. They're doing, like, a lot of, like.

[Kevin Ryan]

That'S rich guy tax shit. They get one sheep, three chickens, and then they go, do you have livestock? And they go, I do. You only pay 4% in fucking property tax or some shit. That's dirt bag shit. I know people that did that, Mom.

[Hig Foley]

Selling eggs on the farmer's market.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. They'd be in South Philly with fucking two roosters going, yeah, this is. You know, this is farm to T table. Like that. Nah, dude. Not buying it.

[Hig Foley]

Dempsey's in sheep's clothing coming in, swooping us.

[Kevin Ryan]

That reminds me. I was talking to my cousin Michael. Shout out to Michael. I hit him up. He hit me up, and he was. It's kind of funny. We sold out of the 4x of the Carhartts. The Carhartt shirts immediately.

[Hig Foley]

Love it.

[Kevin Ryan]

The bootleg Car Heart shirts immediately. And he goes, oh, it's funny. That's the only thing sold out. I go, oh, don't buy it. I'll. You know, I'll give me. I'm like, give me your address. And, you know, give. What size do you want?

[Hig Foley]

Your Venmo account.

[Kevin Ryan]

Go. Give me your. Give me your address and what size you want.

[Hig Foley]

Pay what? Pay my credit card bill.

[Kevin Ryan]

You can have whatever you want.

[Hig Foley]

You just have Luke pay your credit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Card Luke at him. No, no, no.

[Luke Dempsey]

Money's in the account.

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't touch it. I can deny that. I can. I can say I can. I can claim fraud.

[Hig Foley]

I'm just saying what. We're four years, five years into this. Luke's paying your credit card bill.

[Kevin Ryan]

Blame.

[Hig Foley]

I'm tanking blame. Diesel's Italian. We're screwed.

[Luke Dempsey]

That's how well you're doing.

[Hig Foley]

Why?

[Luke Dempsey]

I mean, I. His money didn't come from thin air.

[Hig Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

His money's my money. It's like, we're married. You know what I mean?

[Hig Foley]

You put it that way.

[Kevin Ryan]

Send me 500.

[Hig Foley]

Off my back for.

[Kevin Ryan]

A couple of days, and I'm just so bad and so dumb when it comes to tech. I will never. My problem is I will never figure this out. I will never figure out it. Just won't take it. And I'm just done. I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to. I still pay my spectrum bill by them shutting it off and me calling. If I'm on the road, Nadine will text me, hey, did you pay the bill? And it's out. And then I'm gonna have to call and it'll go. I gotta go to the whole rigmarole. And it goes, hey, your service may or may not be turned off. I know. What. That's crazy. Talk to. Talk to Luke about this. I'm. Dude, I'm just. We. We're not good at paying bills. No one in my family ever has been.

[Hig Foley]

30. 30 people.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Hig Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is more for the big man. This is from Sticky Vicky, please.

[Hig Foley]

Hey, Vic.

[Kevin Ryan]

Earliest acceptable time to get a Slurpee?

[Hig Foley]

Interesting question.

[Kevin Ryan]

I have my time and my reasons.

[Hig Foley]

I would say a gentleman gets a Slurpee at 11 or after.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think that's the gentleman call. I will push back on this as I've had to as a fat ass most of my life when I was working for my family's company. You do start early.

[Hig Foley]

Very true.

[Kevin Ryan]

So if you're up at six.

[Hig Foley]

Very. And you're up at six, not one day, but a multiple of days, your.

[Kevin Ryan]

Lunchtime gets shifted up. I'd be doing a hot dog. 10:00am I think that, you know.

[Hig Foley]

So what time would you guys quit?

[Kevin Ryan]

It depends.

[Hig Foley]

Four or five?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, no, Earlier. Yeah. Okay. It depends. Six. I mean, it's really seven to three was probably typical, give or take.

[Hig Foley]

My only problem with the early lunch.

[Kevin Ryan]

Early starts, early quits are nice, though. Get an early start.

[Hig Foley]

Yeah, yeah, early starts, early quits are nice. But the early lunch can be when you have more hours after lunch than before. Lunch sucks.

[Kevin Ryan]

God, that sucks, man. When I was working in a cubicle, you'd want to take it just to get out of the office. So you take it like 90 minutes after you got there, and you go, you had nine hours left today. Swirling in my chair and want to kill myself.

[Hig Foley]

Two pencils in your mouth like a walrus. I tell you, I don't. Not to bring it up, but that Sopranos did it great. When Vito was working for that lady up in New Hampshire and He's doing the internal monologue with the watch. He's like, 10 o'. Clock. Gotta be. Look at the position of the sun.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes.

[Hig Foley]

It's like 9:45.

[Luke Dempsey]

I mean, yeah, the manual labor of it all.

[Hig Foley]

Only rich guys talk like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Annual labor. Well, when you're busy, it's good. When you're, like, actually doing. It's like. It's the time when you're like, oh, it's fucking.

[Hig Foley]

Just start losing it.

[Kevin Ryan]

When you have to look busy for a long time in the office. I had to look busy. You know, you're doing the Costanza, like shaking your head, making copies, just talking.

[Hig Foley]

To Vinny with this. Kidding.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen to a lot of.

[Hig Foley]

Could you listen to. Have headphones on?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I could have one in one over the hidden one. Because, like, I would. This was against the wall, so I could have one here. I plug my headphones into the computer, into the tower, and I'd watch YouTube. Have that YouTube playing in the background. Huh.

[Hig Foley]

What a schlub.

[Kevin Ryan]

People. Yeah, people come up. Yeah, it was. It was bad. I used to. I used to h. I mean, my job there was opening mail too. Like, I was paying other people's bills, paying rich people's bills. And, man, I would hide that.

[Hig Foley]

What do you mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

I just wouldn't open it. I just. I'd put it in a drawer and that drawer would get so full and I'd have to go, like, I would. I would just start running shit through the chopper, just start mulching, going. And this never happened. You can't prove. You can't prove I ever got this. I start giving them my dirt bag. You know what I mean? I never signed for this. How the fuck are you? Hey, you know I got it. Do you see my signature on that? On that bill? I don't think so.

[Hig Foley]

That's on shredded. Can't tell who signatures are. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's see here. This is from Brennan. $10 home in here. Is it garbage that my mom called me from an all inclusive resort in Mexico to buy her a Powerball ticket? That's.

[Hig Foley]

That's.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what it's all about.

[Hig Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

If that's not the duality of trash, that's garbage. You got a couple. But maybe the. Maybe the whole. Maybe the whole trip was put on your Venmo credit card. And you're down there spending money you ain't got, but you're looking at home going, why don't you give me.

[Hig Foley]

If we can wash this away.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, get me a 401k. You know what I mean? I respect that.

[Hig Foley]

That. That definitely started at a hotel pool bar where they were talking. I got to call my son to make sure he pays. The power plays the Powerball for me. My son's playing for me.

[Kevin Ryan]

That and you wake up. Do you hear what it's at today? 912 million. Oh really? I got call my son to buy tickets.

[Hig Foley]

That is a very garbage signal to another human being. See what the Powerball's at?

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm.

[Hig Foley]

Nine billion. Yeah. Would you stop driving the cab if you won that?

[Kevin Ryan]

Tell you what I'd do the next day come right the world. Would you fucking come in? Nevermind. Coming. Coming in. Open up. All that mail I haven't opened yet.

[Hig Foley]

I always say I wouldn't tell anybody. Keep it quiet for a little bit. I definitely wouldn't do that TV shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I mean I think a lot of it tends to be public. I think certain states have certain rules because I know people have scammed it and try to send like a. Depending on where you claim. I think you gotta go, but you.

[Hig Foley]

Don'T gotta be on camera. You'd say you want to be private.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, but yeah, I don't know. I don't. I just know different states have different regulations. That's all I know.

[Hig Foley]

I'm not saying I'll throw acid on my face though.

[Kevin Ryan]

But I always wear ski masks.

[Hig Foley]

What do you got, Luke?

[Luke Dempsey]

Depends completely on state. Certain. Arizona, Arkansas, Georgia. You're allowed to like hide yourself. Oh, like yeah.

[Hig Foley]

Georgia knows what's up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Arizona.

[Hig Foley]

Shout out to the Bulldogs.

[Luke Dempsey]

Yeah.

[Hig Foley]

Arizona. That's where you go to disappear.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Hey, come on over. We'll burn your fingerprints off here too. We'll do it all. We'll cash a check and fucking.

[Hig Foley]

Why is it always Arizona with the cowboys when you go into witsack?

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, because nothing's out there. You just dump you out there. That's the furthest away from the mob. Ain't no man wise guys going down there. You know what I mean?

[Hig Foley]

How does shit wear a shark skin suit? Have your parents ever played the lottery?

[Luke Dempsey]

Yeah, when it got really big. I remember when I was like 10, my dad bought some mega millions and stuff like that.

[Hig Foley]

Did he?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I bet he did. My stepdad.

[Hig Foley]

No. This has become interesting.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember my stepdad having a stack of fucking Powerballs because he was also like the dirt bag that didn't want to throw it away in case it was it had a dollar on it or. You know what I mean? He wasn't going to check them tickets yeah, but dude, it was a stack right above in his. In the visor. That's a true dirtbag thing too. The amount of paper in a visor of your. Of your beat up SUV for. My dad had toll receipts. You always get paid cash and got a receipt and they would be like up. Brutal. That and I still do it when I have to pull the ticket for like the. If you're in a car without the easy pass, that goes right up there. Don't forget that.

[Hig Foley]

Like a saint, Saint Christopher watching out for you. We had this old guy, Phil, that used to work in the kitchen at Bluebell Inn when I worked there as a kid. And those guys lived in the like one wing of the building, like the professional kitchen guys. And he would always give you like a dollar or two to check it. Check his tickets for him.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nice.

[Hig Foley]

Couldn't read they proper. Couldn't read.

[Kevin Ryan]

All losers again. You're in a Lambo.

[Hig Foley]

Great old guy. If you got cut from work for screwing around, the owner would come in.

[Kevin Ryan]

Get out of here.

[Hig Foley]

You're done for tonight.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just toss you out work in the 1940s. Who the fuck. Hey, quit playing grab ass boy. You're off the line.

[Hig Foley]

Mr. Limprecht. That's kind of the way you sound it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Hig Foley]

Awesome place to work. You go up and hang out with Phil. If he was off, he was older, so sometimes he would. He wouldn't, you know, wouldn't feel well, and he'd be up in his little room watching, smoking cigarettes and watching old tv. Okay, you go up there and sit with him. It was great. Cause you couldn't call your parents and ask for a ride and be like, what are you leaving work early for? And you say, oh, I got caught.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got caught eating dinner rolls again, Pop. What? That's the third time this week, Hendry.

[Hig Foley]

You ain't far off.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're going to Arizona.

[Hig Foley]

Man, they were great. You would have loved their roles.

[Kevin Ryan]

You don't know nothing about my life.

[Hig Foley]

Yeah, I do now. You're a little carbohydrate freak.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, easy does.

[Hig Foley]

I know what you like. Sourdough boy. There you go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Kippy likes a carbohydrate, I'll tell you that much.

[Hig Foley]

Milky Way bread.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't think I like a chocolate bread.

[Hig Foley]

Yeah, you wouldn't very hug Bolton to me. Hello, Kevin. What do you got? Talk to me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Let's see.

[Hig Foley]

Powerball.

[Kevin Ryan]

What? This is. I mean, this is a new one for me. As much of a dirt bag, as much dirt bag behavior as we've covered here. This is from Andrew. Hey, y'. All. Never have one red. Is it garbage to turn your shower on super hot so it can warm up your bedroom? FYI, don't leave it on too long. I'm not a wasteful dirt bag. Just a cold one.

[Hig Foley]

What? The bedroom?

[Kevin Ryan]

I guess it's. Or it says his room. I'm assuming it's his bedroom.

[Hig Foley]

The shower. I'm all for cranking that up and letting it run for five minutes to warm up the shower in the bathroom. So it's nice when you go in there. I like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think five minutes a long time for the shower, to run the shower. I think it's a long. I mean, I'm not fucking. I'm not Captain Planet over here, but that's five minutes of running.

[Hig Foley]

These kids are screwed anyway.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, I'm not super pushed. Just five minutes.

[Hig Foley]

My shower ain't gonna pull the chips out of Taiwan. All right? I don't know what to tell you. Guys are on your own.

[Kevin Ryan]

It could run a drought and run them. Run them ashore.

[Hig Foley]

See, I'm helping out. Help me run the shower. Five minutes is what it takes to get to the bathroom. Warmed up. Steam it up a little bit so my piggies don't get cold when I go in the shower.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, God forbid.

[Hig Foley]

Or I touch the side of the wall and it's cold. I want to enjoy my shower. Exfoliate, refresh, do my stretches.

[Kevin Ryan]

Snap a turtle. Snap your turtle.

[Hig Foley]

Hey, pull my wiener.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I mean, I get that. I've tried it for cold. I've tried it to lower the temperature when I didn't have air conditioning. So that makes sense that you would do that to heat because it's a good heat. I mean, like, I just don't see.

[Hig Foley]

How it makes it down the hall out of the hallway and into the bedroom.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're assuming there's a hallway. What if it's right off the bedroom and he just keeps the door open and it warms his small room? What if it's a studio apartment? I don't know. You know what I mean?

[Luke Dempsey]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm just not applying any. I'm assuming whatever does. It doesn't go down the hallway, bang a left, you know, wrap around the kitchen, then warm up that room. I assume he's closer. I respect it. I think it's. There's nothing worse. I do agree. You got to warm up the bathroom.

[Hig Foley]

Thank you.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got. I'm all about that.

[Hig Foley]

Thank you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude, we got new fucking mats.

[Hig Foley]

She buys cheap shit with the white on the Bottom. That white rubber on the bottom.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't even know, but they're, like, too long. Like the fur. Not the fur. What's the word?

[Hig Foley]

Carpet shag?

[Luke Dempsey]

Kind of.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, but it's not even, like, thick. It's, like thin, you know? You know those visors that have the hair on them? It looks like that hair. You know what I mean? Does that make sense? Dropping. Do you know what I'm talking? Yeah. It's said that the threads are so thin.

[Hig Foley]

We had a dude at the show. Not that I. Camera. Which show? It was recently. We met him at the meet and greet. He was rocking that look. It was his hair, but he had a high.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't think it was.

[Hig Foley]

I think it was.

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't know. I don't know what that was. I'm not sure.

[Hig Foley]

Shout out to you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to you. I was so unsure that I didn't make fun of him at the meet and greet about it because I wasn't sure if it was a rock. I wouldn't be. I was. I was gonna make. Are you wearing one of those fucking visors with the hair? But I didn't want it to be his real hair, and I didn't want it to be. I didn't know what I wanted out of it.

[Hig Foley]

I dug it. It's a good look. Yeah. But as a carpet, that's.

[Kevin Ryan]

You get all baby dude in the might. Like this morning, my wife got in before me.

[Hig Foley]

Nice. I love that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. But now the floor, you get out, and it's like stepping in a swans again. I'm walking in a marsh because the hair's long to begin with, and then it's wet. And it holds that water.

[Hig Foley]

Someone through my toes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude, it is icky feet. I hate it.

[Hig Foley]

And it's.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's hers, so it's already cold because it's like. So you get out, I dry my. And then I. It's like walking into fucking quicksand, dude. It stinks. It ruins the day. So now I put, like, a T shirt or my underwear, whatever I got on that I'm taking off, I lay on top. We got to get new mats. We're fucking jammed up.

[Hig Foley]

Stepping on your underwear?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I do that a lot. You don't do that? No, I do that all the time.

[Hig Foley]

What do you mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

To not wet the floor? I'll step on whatever I'm not, like, wearing.

[Hig Foley]

Yeah, that I understand.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I'm not putting out a new set of underwear.

[Hig Foley]

Why don't you just put a towel down as a Makeup bath mat.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't have extra. I ain't got extra. Listen, I barely got a workable bath mat. You think I got extra?

[Hig Foley]

I mean, The Venmo for 400 I ain't got.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. What are you talking about? Luke's paying my bills. Yeah, shoot. It's just. Oh, it makes my toes curl. I hate it.

[Hig Foley]

That's scary. Okay, let's talk about Brunt.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to Brunt, gang.

[Hig Foley]

Best work boots in the business. Do yourself a favor doing a little contracting, doing a little landscape, doing a little laboring. We've all been there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Even if it's just cold weather.

[Hig Foley]

Get yourself some Brunts because a lot of times with work boots you got to do, you get comfortable, you get looking good. All right?

[Kevin Ryan]

Or functional.

[Hig Foley]

Or functional. Brunt, you get all that stuff. You don't want to be the guy showing up on the, on the job site wearing Pumas, looking like an idiot. Get yourself a pair of Brunts that I know. You're legit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Check out the Marin line, baby. They are comfortable right out of the box. You don't need eight, six to eight weeks to break them in.

[Hig Foley]

I like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

These things go on slipping right in the butter. Keep you covered all day long on the job site, baby. Brunt isn't just about work boots. They offer a full range of high performance gear built for tough jobs. And listen, we got a lot of guys out there and gals. Guys and gals. Gowns with tough jobs. You're working in the elements. You're working in factories. You're doing this, you're doing that. You're in and out of the truck. You're all over the place. You're on your feet for 15, 16, 18 hours a day. Brunt's got you covered. From heavy duty work pants to weather resistant jackets. The Shevlin is the most comfortable hoodie you're ever going to put on. Brunt Designs durable, reliable work wear to keep you protective and productive in any condition. While temps are dropping in the holidays coming up, it's a great time to treat yourself or the hard working man in your life to real comfort. Skip the throwaway gifts and get them something built to last. Brunt Workwear, our listeners get $10 off their entire order with the code garbage at checkout. That's bruntworkware.com use the code garbage order today and let them know the boy sent you from RU Garbage. Do it.

[Hig Foley]

Talk to us, Kim. Let's talk about chime.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to Chime.

[Hig Foley]

Chime, chime. Understands that every dollar counts. That's why when you set up direct deposit through Chime, you get access to fee free features like free overdraft coverage, getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit and more.

[Kevin Ryan]

Chime is banking done right. Open a checking account with no monthly fees, no maintenance fees. Get paid up to two days early. Like the big man said, when you set up direct deposit. With qualifying direct deposit, you're eligible for free overdraft up to $200 on debit card purchases and cash withdrawals. And let me be honest, I've been jammed up once or twice in my life. That helps you. But big time, my younger self would have benefited a lot from Chime. I wish Chime was banging back when I needed it. You open a checking account with no monthly fees, no maintenance fees, not to mention access to over 47,000 free fee free ATMs. More than the top three national banks combined. Work on your financial goals through CHIME today. Open an account in 2 [e-mail] garbage that's chime.com garbage Chime feels like progress. One more time. Open an account 2 minutes chime.com garbage do it. Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp Bank NA or Stride Bank NA members. FDIC Spot me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Timing depends on submission of payment file fees. Apply it out of network ATMs. Bank ranking and number of ATMs. According to US News and World Report. 2023 chime checking account required. Let's see here. This is from Aaron. $10, homie. Never have one read. Are you garbage if you save the tissue paper from gift bags? I understand the bags, but the tissue paper. I got an odd take here. I would say it's more important to save the tissue paper in my experience than the bag. Because as a dirtbag who's always buying a gift and or wrapping the gift, super last minute. I always have the bag. I never have the tissue paper.

[Hig Foley]

Anybody out there knows when you hand.

[Kevin Ryan]

A bag with a box in it and it's just wobbling around and the side sticking out, you look like a jerk off.

[Hig Foley]

What do you got a gun in here?

[Kevin Ryan]

What the.

[Hig Foley]

Just a brick of coke.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it looks like you're shoplifting, dude. It looks like that should be lined with tin foil in the. On the inside, which I saw these two broads doing a 59th one time. It blew. It blew. My little. I'd never seen an operation like that. They were switching Because Bloomingdale's and H M all right there, 59th and Lex, whatever that is. Jackpot, man. They were, I think, because you can hit a bunch of stores and then you're on the subway and there's like the NQR and the four five sixes there. You could be in the Bronx in three minutes. And I have, while this is a security guard for H M's looking for you. And they were switching bags real quick to a team. There was like two girls came down with bags, hand them to someone else. They went that way. They went that way. Gone in the ghost wind. Fucking ghost. And I went, God damn, this city's gonna be all right. I like it. Yeah.

[Hig Foley]

Only problem.

[Kevin Ryan]

That tissue paper doesn't hold.

[Hig Foley]

It's not that it doesn't hold. You could have 40 sheets of that. They pack it. It's takes up as much space as a loose piece of loosely paper.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Hig Foley]

You open that shit up, you're never folding that back. Nice. I don't store it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I listen, I don't. I'm not judging, I'm just saying.

[Hig Foley]

Where are you gonna keep it?

[Kevin Ryan]

In the bag. Put the bag on the floor of the closet.

[Hig Foley]

Oh, I guess you could just drop.

[Kevin Ryan]

Another box in there. You know, it's a real bad luck that I.

[Hig Foley]

Isn't that bad to re gift those bags?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I think those are getting passed around like fucking loose cigarettes in jail.

[Hig Foley]

I just throw them out.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's crazy. I. Oh, I've always had the bag. And then I gotta hit up Denise. You got tissue paper? I don't know. I keep doing.

[Hig Foley]

Shout out to his new special. I always just get that when I get the thing before I get to the house.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not buying the gift bag. What you're misunderstanding is I got broke. I got. I'm in the. I got the gift bag at the house and I'm. I'm already behind the eight ball. I got to be at the nieces for my sister's for Christmas in 45 minutes.

[Hig Foley]

Stop at CVS.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got time to schedule. I don't have it.

[Hig Foley]

I got catch on me.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got cat. Yeah. What the fuck? I mean, yeah, in a perfect world. I go by all the stuff I'm saying in a world where I can't do that, that stuff, I get that. Yeah, I could, but listen, I could just fucking not give a gift as well. I could live in all these worlds, but I'm. I don't have time. Whatever it is, I don't want to stop. However it be I've taken. I like, oh, we have three pieces or whatever.

[Hig Foley]

You make that work.

[Kevin Ryan]

And you wrapped. You ever wrapped a box? So, like, what's sticking out? There's none really in the bag.

[Hig Foley]

That's all you got to do is that. That's a. That's a hamburger commercial. You just need the stick out. You just need the paper coming out, right? Yeah. No, they just want the show.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm saying. I don't have. No, you're. I think you're misinterpreting. Go ahead, say this is the top of the bag. This is the rim of the bag.

[Hig Foley]

Yes, right, right.

[Kevin Ryan]

The box comes out here.

[Hig Foley]

Stick it up out of the bag. You bought it too small of a bag.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm working with what I got here, guys. I put it in an IKEA bag. I'm working with what I got.

[Hig Foley]

What'd you get her?

[Kevin Ryan]

What? Okay, so it's like sticking out a little bit.

[Hig Foley]

That's a no. No, no.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's okay.

[Hig Foley]

No. That's a no. No. Well, listen, that's trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, who AM I, fucking St Nicholas all of a sudden?

[Hig Foley]

Fucking. The box sticking out of the bag.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I'm jamming.

[Hig Foley]

So you just put on a thing to cover it up.

[Kevin Ryan]

I just. I'll just wrap this. I've just wrapped that.

[Hig Foley]

So if I look through the top.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, you can.

[Hig Foley]

You see, it says if I had an overview shot.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Which I don't let anybody get.

[Hig Foley]

You paint that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I'm bad at all this stuff. It's last minute.

[Hig Foley]

Whoever came up with that, though, is a genius and an evil genius. Because it's so much better to have the bag in the tissue and not have to open a present. And it's so much easier to. It's so much easier to. To put that in than rapid present.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why aren't they doing it together? Why don't. Do they have bags with it just on the side already? And then you can just.

[Hig Foley]

Politics, man.

[Luke Dempsey]

With the tissue paper in the bag.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like, can the staple to the bags. They got that.

[Luke Dempsey]

So, yeah, I've seen it at, like, nicer spots.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not the spots I'm shopping. Like a Michael.

[Luke Dempsey]

I'm assuming, like.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, a Michael's is a nicer spot.

[Luke Dempsey]

Well, like, no, but like, where they have, like, gift wrap and stuff like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right.

[Luke Dempsey]

CVS will sometimes do it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Have you ever paid? Have you never had anything gift wrapped? Have you?

[Hig Foley]

Yeah, I'm big on that.

[Kevin Ryan]

That makes.

[Hig Foley]

I love that. I love that. I think that is so fantastic.

[Kevin Ryan]

I get that.

[Hig Foley]

Let the pros do it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Hig Foley]

They do.

[Kevin Ryan]

The.

[Hig Foley]

That used to blow my head as a kid. Curling. The ribbon.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's never been in my. That's not in our DNA. That's like, not open and mail.

[Hig Foley]

I don't give a shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

I get it. I mean, it makes so much money.

[Hig Foley]

I'll give you a million dollars. I'll write you a check for a million.

[Kevin Ryan]

But to me also, that's. That's like waiting in law. I don't know. It was just like. Oh. Because I worked at Macy's, they go, where's gift wrapping? I worked on the first one. I go up on the third floor. I go, if you told me to add a third floor. What?

[Hig Foley]

No, it's never in a good part of the building.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, the lights are flickering and shit. It's always in some flex space.

[Hig Foley]

Yeah, they don't want you there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. No, I'm not doing it.

[Hig Foley]

Turn the corner, there's a sea of people waiting in line.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it's just like, I would just. I'll just do this poorly on my own. Right.

[Hig Foley]

To me, that's more important than the gift. Love a gift wrapping. I love getting flowers and having them wrapped up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very nice.

[Hig Foley]

Give to the guy's wife. I don't know. I know where he lives. Nothing on that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't get it.

[Hig Foley]

I don't know. From the town.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, Trav, cut that. This one's great. This is a great name. This is Chicken Pharmaceuticals. That's home run dude. $10. Blue collar, Bucks county bozo. Never have one red talk to me. Are you garbage off on multiple occasions you've decompressed after a long day of work with not one, but two homes. Homemade root beer floats. I've never thought as an adult to make a root beer float. Are you serious, guy? We're living different lives. You think about. You make root beer floats at the house?

[Hig Foley]

Yeah, I have. Not even with root beer. Just soda.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's crazy.

[Hig Foley]

It's just as good with Pepsi. Just as good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I mean, I don't think it's the root beer that it's.

[Hig Foley]

Root beer gives you that. Nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not saying it doesn't, but I think the sugar is doing a lot of the hard. The heavy lifting.

[Hig Foley]

Cola flavor. You do it. Anything you do a Mountain Dew, you do it with orange soda. Fanta.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's wild that you're doing that or have done that.

[Hig Foley]

It's like I'm doing it every day.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, don't backpedal.

[Hig Foley]

Now I'm chipping.

[Luke Dempsey]

I never really? Got the root beer floats.

[Kevin Ryan]

I gotta be honest with you. Wow. I think I've only had one one time I go, this is a shitty version of ice cream and soda. You're crazy as a big bite and sip guy.

[Hig Foley]

Nuts.

[Kevin Ryan]

It stinks. Oh, my God, it stinks, dude.

[Hig Foley]

The flavor, the getting the ice cream and then a little bit of wet with it. You're nuts. You've lost your goddamn mind. I'll tell you that right now.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[Hig Foley]

Yes, you have.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[Hig Foley]

I've shown your true colors on this episode.

[Kevin Ryan]

It stinks.

[Hig Foley]

It's sloppy crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

You can't slurp it. It just stinks.

[Hig Foley]

Crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[Luke Dempsey]

Sticky, but not worth it.

[Hig Foley]

What are you talking. I knew you would put your nose down at it. Would you like a sorbet?

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, you don't like a sorbet?

[Hig Foley]

I enjoy it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, so don't. This is what you do. Listen, if they were that good, they'd be offering them at restaurants. When was the last time they said, oh, you want to do the tiramisu or the root beer float? Hey, tonight. Tonight. Tonight we got a code red with a chubby hubby floater.

[Hig Foley]

No, you don't do that. It'd be vanilla. Code red would be good, though. Be like cherry ice cream.

[Luke Dempsey]

The milkshake's so much better. And they usually are.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why don't they do milk? Why don't do. Why don't you. Why can't you go to, like, a nice Italian restaurant and go, oh, we'll do a chocolate, vanilla, A Neapolitan milkshake. Why can't you get that? I don't know why I'm screaming at you like you're the head of dessert for most Italian restaurants. Although you should be.

[Hig Foley]

Why you can't get a Neapolitan milkshake.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why? Nothing.

[Hig Foley]

You mean vanilla, chocolate and strawberry? That's Neapolitan?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Then why the fuck, yeah, I know that.

[Hig Foley]

I didn't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean? You just told me. Yeah, you did. What do you mean you didn't know the last words out of your mouth.

[Hig Foley]

I didn't know you knew what you were talking about. You fucking whacked out of your mind on drugs, probably fucking upside down with Venmo.

[Kevin Ryan]

You didn't think I knew a Neapolitan?

[Hig Foley]

I didn't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's crazy.

[Hig Foley]

Plus, it was. It threw me off that you would a know what that is that you wouldn't refer to as vanilla, chocolate and strawberry because you're a heathen.

[Kevin Ryan]

And two, it's Funnier for comedy to say. Neapolitan.

[Hig Foley]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's word economy. I can't sit there and go, why can't I have a chocolate, vanilla and strawberry milkshake?

[Hig Foley]

You would want that for dessert at an Italian restaurant.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think it would be nice. Why is it not offered?

[Hig Foley]

Why would it be?

[Kevin Ryan]

Because it's a fucking dessert.

[Hig Foley]

Yeah, but it's nothing to do with Italy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Neapolitan.

[Hig Foley]

That's just a name.

[Kevin Ryan]

An Italian name. What do you mean? It's got nothing to do with it, you fucking jerk off.

[Hig Foley]

Sounds like it's for money. What, they don't eat that shit over there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why are you so anti milkshake after dinner?

[Hig Foley]

I'm very. I'm very pro.

[Kevin Ryan]

That doesn't.

[Hig Foley]

It doesn't seem like a milkshake after dinner.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, you're making root beer floats at home. I don't think you're one to throw stones.

[Hig Foley]

I do that before lunch.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, I don't know why you're pushing back on this. You like a milkshake.

[Hig Foley]

I'm just surprised to hear you say it. I'm sorry. Let me. Let me regroup. Get a root beer. Float me. All right.

[Luke Dempsey]

Neapolitan ice cream originated from the Italian tradition of combining multiple flavors.

[Kevin Ryan]

How the fuck am I listening to you about anything?

[Hig Foley]

Say it. Multiple flavors.

[Luke Dempsey]

Popularized in America, but it's a.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's from a Italian tradition. Hey, chicken parm ain't fucking Italian either. That's these guineas over here made that. Try. Go over. Go over. Fucking Sicily. Try to get chicken parm steak.

[Hig Foley]

Couldn't get no sheep.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sheep, lamb, chicken. Porn.

[Hig Foley]

Hey, I said they started making chicken pork because they couldn't get any sheep.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, okay.

[Hig Foley]

Get up the stairs of the apartment.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't think I get it.

[Hig Foley]

They couldn't. You couldn't bring a sheep up to their small apartment in the lower east side of New York to cook it needed. So they went and started using chicken. Chicken. You can walk up a five, four foot of stairs.

[Kevin Ryan]

So, yeah, in your reality, they're buying the whole chicken, taking them up five flights of stairs and killing them in.

[Hig Foley]

The apartment and then making chicken pork.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know what the fuck he's talking about. You are cooked.

[Hig Foley]

That's what they did back then.

[Kevin Ryan]

First of all, you don't. I don't. This is crazy. Big man Bugman anti milkshake. No, Bug man anti milkshake. You don't tell me a nice little one. I mean, you're getting the ice cream. You're doing A tiramisu. You're doing a. Whatever. The creme brulee. The fucking. So you're doing all the fun stuff. Why can't you have an elevated version of this?

[Hig Foley]

I. I believe they are out there. I am not.

[Kevin Ryan]

We never seen it.

[Hig Foley]

Listen, listen. I am not. Not.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're not pro milkshake.

[Hig Foley]

That's. That's. Come on. For all you milkshakes out there, don't believe them. I'm pro milkshake. Very pro.

[Kevin Ryan]

From the conversation I'm in at the.

[Hig Foley]

Moment, you just hit me with a curveball that you knew what Neapolitan was. That was a fat guy secret. And I've never once in my life seen you have a milkshake. You've seen me have plenty because they're.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not serving them at dinner. I've never seen you have a milkshake.

[Hig Foley]

Some restaurants do.

[Kevin Ryan]

Where? I just read.

[Hig Foley]

Hamburger does.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's a fucking burger joint.

[Hig Foley]

Yeah, take that. I'm with you. I'm sure some of these chefs are doing it.

[Luke Dempsey]

I could see, like, a Teresa or Carbone throwing this out there. I think this could be the inspiration.

[Kevin Ryan]

Thank you. You're telling me I can't go to fucking quality Italian where you can get a chicken parm pizza and a fucking Tierra Massou? Fucking cheesecake. Cheesecake milkshakes. Completely out of the fucking question. No, you're serving me a chicken cutlet full pizza.

[Hig Foley]

You're right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Thank you.

[Hig Foley]

You're right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Thank you.

[Hig Foley]

But that doesn't make me anti milkshake. I love milkshakes. You're anti root beer float.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. That's well documented. Run that back.

[Hig Foley]

I like them both.

[Luke Dempsey]

How do you feel about the egg cream?

[Kevin Ryan]

Contains zero egg and cream.

[Hig Foley]

It's okay. Oh, it has no cream in it.

[Kevin Ryan]

What are we in the same conversation?

[Hig Foley]

It said it has zero, and it does have cream in it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Does it?

[Hig Foley]

You said zero eggs, zero cream.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Hig Foley]

Yeah. I think it's half and half in club soda. Right?

[Kevin Ryan]

What are we in the depression?

[Luke Dempsey]

My aunt used to make them.

[Hig Foley]

So gross.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[Hig Foley]

You don't like them?

[Luke Dempsey]

Hate them. It's the same thing as root beer float.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it's not a lane.

[Hig Foley]

You know what you can do?

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what? I. You know what? The only time I. I never.

[Hig Foley]

You can make a milkshake out of a root beer float. If you blend it. You guys might like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, give me a milkshake. Listen, soda and ice cream don't belong here. Right?

[Hig Foley]

Remember the root beer bows I used to give?

[Kevin Ryan]

You used to Give me what are you luring me into a van? What are you talking about? You used to give me. You ain't never give me nothing.

[Hig Foley]

AKA you ain't never give me nothing. What are you, punch drunk? Too many left hooks rock. You ain't never give me nothing.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not good, but it wasn't bad.

[Hig Foley]

That's pretty good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I like root beer. I don't like. I. Zoom in. Fucking asshole. Listen, please. I think somebody out there should try it. That's all I'm saying. If there's an Italian. Listen, can I finish? Can I finish my statement? I'm pro. I'm pro milkshake over here. I'm not saying you're anti milkshake.

[Hig Foley]

No, thank you.

[Kevin Ryan]

But you're not pro milkshake.

[Hig Foley]

Thank you.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is gonna fucking emotionally bother you for weeks, maybe months.

[Hig Foley]

Because I love milkshake. I even like making them at home when they're real runny with briars and regular milk.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've never seen you have one if I'm just saying that.

[Hig Foley]

Okay, you want me to start a milkshake? Diesel, remember you said it. £7,000.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got a huge. What if I was like fucking three feet of whipped cream, which I don't love the whipped cream. You say that.

[Hig Foley]

I'm with you right now.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's just in the way. I like a little dab, a little dabble, dude. In the way. I remember the first time I was over a friend's house. Ch. They go, you want hot chocolate? And we were a Swiss miss family and. Or America's choice.

[Hig Foley]

But the packets, those families that went the extra mile on that. It was cute, a little bit, but very non functional. You would never find Patty fully now.

[Kevin Ryan]

They handed me a mug of Ovaltine or something that didn't have enough snap to it. And six inches of whipped cream with the cherry. I said, I don't know who the chef is today, but it ain't Denise. Okay, Send this back, clean that off and give me a freshie. Yeah, none of that. I like. I like the marshmallow. This is even nuts. You might put. I like the marshmallows that came in the packet. I didn't like the regular, of course.

[Hig Foley]

Of course.

[Kevin Ryan]

Unless I was just eating a marshmallow, which. Putting them in a microwave, a little bit of peanut butter. Good night. He never did that. Whoo, man. You never did that.

[Hig Foley]

I had a marshmallow not that long ago. Raw, dogged it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. You get the big one?

[Hig Foley]

Yeah, there was. There were in a bag in the.

[Kevin Ryan]

Corner Biting into a Granny Smith ain't nothing sweeter. Dog. That's nature's apple right there.

[Hig Foley]

Straight up. Marshmallows.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right. Yeah. I don't know when. At what age that was, but big. We found out you could put marshmallows in the microwave and they. They really pop. They blow the fuck up. And I remember dangerous. You might as. Dude, I. You must have. I thought we had fireworks and we were waiting to light them off till my mom went to bed.

[Hig Foley]

Is that what you did?

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[Hig Foley]

You waited so she went to bed?

[Kevin Ryan]

So you couldn't play with the microwave like that. That was an after hours. That was an after hours ordeal.

[Hig Foley]

Even during the day, you were house and marshmallows in the microwave at the end of the night.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, Sleepover playing Sega. Had the boys over.

[Hig Foley]

She wouldn't get snacks or something.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know, she did. She did the full gamut. I'm talking Domino's, whatever, off the menu. And we had the ice cream. And I go, wait, I got a half a bag of the big boys.

[Hig Foley]

Upstairs in my room in my foot locker when you know who goes to.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shove them up my ass. Once Denise goes to bed, I'm sticking these in the microwave.

[Hig Foley]

We're all gonna have one.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it was just a. I remember being like, when she goes to bed, we're real. Because we saw what the small ones could do and we said, what the fuck's a big one? The jumbo. Because those jumbo guys, I don't know when they came out, but they dropped in our world in the early 90s.

[Hig Foley]

The super big ones?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Like, they're like bigger than golf balls, I would say.

[Hig Foley]

Yeah. About that time, I just.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember that. And they weren't everywhere. It was like, you. They. Some. But they were like novelty.

[Hig Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

And at that time, people weren't spending money on novel. We weren't spending money on novelty stuff. So we had a box of a bag of them, and I mean, we put about 5, 15 on a paper plate. Dude, it's like the Stay Puff guy coming to get you. Proton packs, slab a couple of peanut butter on end. No, we were munching, playing trucks on my favorite video game of all time.

[Hig Foley]

Trucks on.

[Kevin Ryan]

No one's ever heard of it. Swear to God, I can't find it.

[Hig Foley]

What is it? A truck driving?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it was this fucking great. It was on Sega. I bought a bunch of games at a. At a garage sale.

[Hig Foley]

For a regular Sega?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, for a couple of bucks.

[Hig Foley]

Huh.

[Kevin Ryan]

This old guy was selling you didn't.

[Hig Foley]

You Played regular sega. What's a regular SEGA to you?

[Kevin Ryan]

Sega Genesis. Yeah.

[Hig Foley]

Yeah, I guess that makes sense.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Hig Foley]

When did late 80s, early 90s.

[Kevin Ryan]

This would have been 92, 6, 7, 8. Okay, 92. Sega Genesis.

[Hig Foley]

I didn't know that. We crossed. We cross over at least that much, you know.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, you were, you were 16 playing Sega Genesis.

[Hig Foley]

I didn't have one.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, so maybe we didn't cross over.

[Hig Foley]

Well, it was around. My other friends had it.

[Kevin Ryan]

So was fucking Gorbachev. He was around.

[Hig Foley]

I had a regular Sega. Got a regular Sega like 1984 or five, I don't know. Whatever came out.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's pre me, dog.

[Hig Foley]

It's crazy. You weren't even born yet. I was already fucking up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Hig Foley]

It was the year we still. We opened all the Christmas presents and got yelled at.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm.

[Luke Dempsey]

That was your first console?

[Hig Foley]

Yeah, no, we had an Atari when I was younger. The original Atari.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, we did. We had super Nintendo. That was more my brother. I couldn't figure that out. I was like my. I was like four or five. I remember them. I'm like, I can't figure this out. And go take the talk for a while. Yeah, I remember sitting in the room and him and his boys were playing. I'm going like, there's no I. That's the point that I, I can't. I can't wrap my head around this.

[Hig Foley]

I couldn't do that. I always had a problem with that. I couldn't get into the game culture like that because it'd be you watching somebody else who played it better. And you'd be sitting there, then you play for two seconds and get kicked out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Also my thing, I didn't like, I didn't super enjoy playing by myself. So we would all play together, right? We'd play Goldeneye all together. That was big. It's on 64. We play Goldeneye all together. And then I'd go home and not play video games because it wasn't fun to play by yourself. But all my boys would play by themselves and get super fucking good. And then two weeks later, we'd all be hanging out again, playing. And I'm getting fucking four years old again. I'm getting murked left, you know, I got a gun. And then I go, let's put there. You could play just double that Asian.

[Hig Foley]

Guy in the hat.

[Kevin Ryan]

You could play just slaps only or no guns. You just karate chop each other. Oh, it was a fighting game, 007. Well, you could play each other. You'd run around the fucking. It was like the first halo. Kind of like that first, like, open. I don't know, open. It was a map. And you guys would run around and shoot each other, huh? And they would. That was the first time. I'm like, you guys are memorizing the maps. I was just running and gunning. You know what I mean? Point and shoot.

[Hig Foley]

Got a map question print out in your hand.

[Kevin Ryan]

And they would play slaps only. And that's embarrassing. Just some guy coming at you, doing just the set of hands. And he's above you because it would split the screen. And he's above you, and you're just whacking you and you suss suck, stink. Couldn't even even shoot a fair one with you. That's how bad I want. And if I get beat up, me.

[Hig Foley]

Like a man, shooting the face.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, you look back, you got that gun. Drops the gun and whoops my ass.

[Hig Foley]

Dirt ball with your martinis and your Euro broads yourself.

[Kevin Ryan]

Give me a beer and shoot a fair one in the parking lot. Goes outside, kicks my ass. But we gotta wrap it up, gang.

[Hig Foley]

Gang, we love you to death. Get tickets for that Philly show.

[Kevin Ryan]

And all shows are on sale right now. And guys, listen, we're playing. Well, this tour's a little different. We're doing weekends at clubs in a handful of. Handful of cities. So get those tickets, they're going quick. We love you.

[Hig Foley]

Yeah, love you, gang. See you next week. Peace.