Liars & Cheaters w/ Carly Aquilino!

Summary

ARE YOU GARBAGE? Comedy Podcast
Episode: "Liars & Cheaters w/ Carly Aquilino!"
Date: July 16, 2026
Hosts: H. Foley & Kevin Ryan
Guest: Carly Aquilino, Comic & Host of "Secret Keepers Club"

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EPISODE OVERVIEW

This episode welcomes back fan-favorite comedian Carly Aquilino for her third appearance, joining Foley and Kevin for a classic "Are You Garbage?" interrogation. The trio dives into Carly's experiences with liars and cheaters, stories from her upbringing, her family’s quirks, dating red flags, and her strong opinions about etiquette, TVs, old-school cars, and garbage culture. The conversation bounces between hilarious personal stories and the classic "Are You Garbage?" lifestyle questions—covering everything from dental insurance requirements in dating to the etiquette of bringing dip to a dinner party.

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KEY DISCUSSION POINTS & INSIGHTS

1. Carly’s High-Energy Arrival & "Handshaking Etiquette" (00:42)

• Carly bursts in "like a tornado," apologizing for her high-energy greetings to the staff.
• Talks about learning to give a strong handshake after being criticized for a "wussy" one.
• Quote:
  “Someone told me years ago that my handshake was, like, not good ... now it's ingrained in me. I don't want to give a wussy handshake.” — Carly (02:14)

2. Carly’s Five-Year Update & The Liar’s Jeep Liberty (04:06–12:31)

• Shares a story about a man who hit on her after seeing her on the podcast.
• Carly only gives out her number after checking if a guy has dental insurance.
  Quote:
  “Do you have medical ... but most specifically, do you have dental? Because I want visalign.” — Carly (05:17)
• Guy lies about not having Instagram, says he saw her on “his friend’s Instagram.”
• Carly immediately calls him out, finds his real Instagram in seconds, discovers he has a girlfriend, and discusses the red flag of pretending not to have social media.
• Hosts riff on the iconic “Eyelashes on a car” and Carly’s mom’s wish for car eyelashes.

3. Growing Up Trash—House Guests & Quirky Family (09:14, 16:45)

• Carly’s family once took in a cage dancer friend of her brother—later, she became a lawyer.
• Dives into her mom’s generous, if eccentric, style: “My mom’s a lunch lady ... went to the club to support the cage dancer.”
• Foley and Kevin applaud the “Long Island mom-ness” of all this.

4. “Are You Garbage?” Lifestyle Questions (Throughout)

• Dental Insurance as a Dating Requirement:
  Carly says she asks about dental insurance before giving her number.
• Car Talk—Jeep Liberty & Car Eyelashes:
  Discussion of how Jeep Liberties are classic “girl-car” and how car eyelashes are a “mental illness.”
• Phone Anxiety & Trading Old Phones (13:26):
  None like turning in old phones, fear of tech companies having their stuff.
• Trashy Kitchen Habits:
  On making chicken soup from rotisserie chicken, freezing cigarettes from around the world, being picky with soda cans over bottles, etc.

5. Famous Meetings: From Mick Foley to Billy Joel (21:43–26:43)

• Met Mick Foley the wrestler at school assemblies (“He’s very philanthropic.”)
• Her mom grew up across from Rosie O’Donnell and once chauffeured her to the comedy club where Rosie got discovered.
• Met Billy Joel at a charity event in high school: “Billy’s a hitter ... there’s something sinister about him ... he’ll drive through your front door.” (25:19)
• Hosts claim this is one of the best “famous person” rosters a guest has ever given.

6. Parental Lore & The Soap Opera Name Mystery (27:27–30:29)

• Carly’s mom claims Carly is named after a “General Hospital” character, but the math doesn’t add up—hilariously unravels on air.
• “I just found out that's like not my real family ... we'll tell her it's from General Hospital.” — Carly (28:29)

7. Garbage Cuisine: Dips, Freezers, and Takeout (43:20, 51:45)

• Carly’s “Dirty Martini Dip”: A party classic with cream cheese, blue cheese, olives, and martini brine.
• Advocates only bringing desserts or easy dips to parties, "never bring something that creates a task."
  “You don't want to bring a task!” — Carly (43:51)
• Freezer is full of world-travel cigs and ice pops, not food. “My freezer’s a lot of cigs and ice pops.”

8. Travel, Weddings, and Streamlined Life (40:30, 66:12)

• Recent trip: Barcelona for a cousin’s wedding, flew with her best friend.
• Prefers app-heavy, appetizer-centric wedding food—“People are moving, dancing, no one’s sitting down for chicken marsala.”
• Next up: South Korea with her best friend for her 40th; plans to get "lasered"—raves about K-beauty/skin care procedures.
• Discusses USO comedy trip to Japan, wishes she could have extended it beyond base performances.

9. Cultural/Childhood Trashiness: Candy, Costco, and Antiques Roadshow (48:33, 71:11)

• “Caboodle” nostalgia and never throwing anything away (“I still got my caboodle. Why would I get rid of it?”).
• On Costco membership: “My mom added me as her plus one. … I show it at the bar.”
• Loves Antiques Roadshow—teasing hosts for wanting to bring Starbucks mugs on.

10. Life Habits: Eating, Cooking, and Organization (51:45–54:53)

• Cooks 2x/week, lives off leftovers. Loves making soup, especially “throwing rotisserie chicken in a pot.”
• Nothing on her counters except an Nespresso machine. Deep admiration for Nespresso over Keurig.

11. Odds & Ends

• On Cigarettes:: Freezes packs from around the world.
• On Sodas: Prefers cans, never 20oz bottles (“The 20oz taste funky.”)
• On Taking Ubers: Uses regular Uber or Lyft, not “Black.”
• Wedding Appetizer Hot Takes: “Lose the entree, just apps!”
• Leftovers: Doesn’t take them if she’s going out after dinner—“Not dragging wings into the bar.”

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MEMORABLE QUOTES

• “I want visalign. I know I can pay for it, I just’d rather get married.” — Carly (05:23)
• “My mom wanted eyelashes on her car so bad ... It was a minivan.” — Carly (08:08)
• “I have a carton (of cigarettes) in the freezer ... from France, Italy, Spain, Japan.” — Carly (38:17)
• “Every gift card I’ve ever gotten, it’s never been used, it’s in a drawer.” — Carly (58:21)
• “I got a caboodle—big one and a little one. Not bragging.” — Carly (60:37)

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TIMESTAMPS FOR IMPORTANT SEGMENTS

• 00:42–03:14: Carly’s entrance, handshake stories, and high-energy vibe.
• 04:06–12:31: Story of the lying suitor, dental insurance standards, car culture.
• 16:45–19:57: Phone privacy anxiety, reluctance to part with old tech.
• 21:43–26:43: Carly’s brushes with fame (Mick Foley, Rosie O’Donnell, Billy Joel).
• 27:27–30:29: The “General Hospital” name origin mystery.
• 43:20–44:51: Etiquette on what to bring to dinner parties, martini dip recipe.
• 51:45–55:00: Cooking at home, appliance organization, Nespresso love.
• 66:12–67:32: Upcoming trip to South Korea, fascination with Korean beauty treatments.
• 71:11: Antiques Roadshow and the Starbucks mug collection bit.

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FINAL VERDICT — IS CARLY GARBAGE?

As always, the show ends with a verdict:
Still “Garbage”—but in the best, funniest, and most endearing way possible. Carly embodies “Garbage Royalty,” with tales of cage dancers at home, rotisserie chicken soup, and a freezer packed with foreign cigarettes, all wrapped up in wholesomeness, quick wit, and relentless fun.

Hosts’ tone: Warm, playful, loving ribbing as always, with plenty of laughter and “Aunt Carly” energy throughout.

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PLUGS

• Carly Aquilino:
  • Host of "Secret Keepers Club" — now on YouTube (YouTube.com/secretkeepersclub)
• Kevin & Foley:
  • "Are You Garbage?" special forthcoming; road dates TBA.

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Best for fans who love: Genuine stories, classic Long Island family chaos, tips on party dips, and plenty of laughs about the trashiest—and most lovable—parts of American life.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, everybody out there. Welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Ru Garbage.

[B]

How you doing?

[A]

It's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that if they're good, to be classy. Yeah. Just a big old piece of trash.

[B]

Trash, trash, trash.

[A]

I'm your host, Stage Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition. She just asked if we can get a nespresso machine.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

The answer on that.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Micos coming in from right next to me. He's the CEO of Are you Garbage? Bit of an international businessman. And coincidentally, I had asked him the same thing about the Nespresso machine earlier and did not get a response.

[B]

I said, go for it.

[A]

Okay. I just wanted to call you out on air, get it on tape. Kevin Ryan.

[B]

What's up, everybody? Thanks for the world's weirdest intro.

[A]

You gave me nothing.

[B]

You got a girl in here, you clam up, performer.

[A]

No. Hey, Curtie.

[C]

Hi.

[B]

What's up? Every shout out. First of all, listen, make sure you rate view, subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. And the boys are climbing a freaking charts. And obviously the greatest website of all time. Www.patreon.com RU garbage, you go over there, you get all that bonus content, gang.

[A]

Yes, sir. And gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Back with us today after a long absence.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Been on the pod twice before.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Back in the day.

[C]

I missed you guys.

[A]

Honestly, we greatly missed you.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

I really did. It's been a very long time.

[B]

I know.

[C]

We got the new stew.

[A]

You came in here like a breath of fresh air.

[C]

Came in here like a tornado. And everybody. It was a lot for everyone. And I'm really sorry about that, guys.

[A]

You slipped a five in my back pocket.

[C]

I can't it Spend it all in one place.

[A]

Yeah. You can hear every week at her amazing podcast, Secret Keepers Club, one of our absolute favorites, Carly E. Thank you.

[B]

And Carly, thank you.

[C]

There you go.

[A]

You came in hot and energy.

[C]

I was like, being friendly, and everybody was like, whoa, whoa.

[B]

We don't.

[C]

This. We don't do that here now.

[B]

No. You walked in, you started saying hi to all the producers. Hi, Carly. Nice to me. It was very like, I'm a hand shaker. It was very like, authority.

[C]

I own this building, by the way. That's what I'm. That's what I should have gone with.

[A]

Charlie Aquino. Pleasure to meet you. Yeah.

[B]

Strong eye contact. Nice firm shake.

[C]

Yeah. Someone told me years ago that my handshake was, like, not good.

[B]

Even that's not good. See that angle?

[C]

It's. Yeah, but I, like, learned, and now it's ingrained in me because I'm like, I don't want to give a wussy handshake.

[A]

No, I remember.

[C]

Can't be a wussy like that.

[A]

If a man shakes a woman's hand or shakes, like, a potential employer's hand, and it's, like, fishy. Like, you know, it's like salt fish. Bad news.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It's like, who could take you serious? Everybody took me serious when I was cheating.

[B]

You're not wrong, by the way. You're not wrong.

[A]

You run a steel factory. Okay. Carly Aquino. Good to meet you. I'll tell you right now, my word is my bond. You don't need no contract with me.

[B]

Spits in her hand.

[A]

I had a kid that I grew up with in high school. His dad was a Secret Service agent.

[C]

Oh, that's cool. They're not supposed to tell people about

[A]

that, by the way.

[B]

Very true.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It's supposed to be a secret.

[A]

No, he wears a suit and everything. He's not.

[B]

Okay. Hey, big man's on the fritz.

[C]

He's being questioned by the Secret Service agent.

[B]

He's a little hot under these lights, huh, big man?

[A]

He's not an undercover agent.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Figure the thing of the CIA.

[C]

Gotcha.

[A]

Intelligence agent. Carly, could you please pull your mic a little bit closer?

[C]

Oh, sure, sure. Oh, no, totally.

[A]

And, Foley, could you pull yours away a little bit?

[B]

You hit the other room.

[C]

Is this better? Gotcha. Okay.

[A]

I one time saw him in a McDonald's, and I shook his hand, and I made eye contact, and weeks later, he told my dad that he's gonna be all right. He makes good eye contact. Boy, was he wrong.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. Back to the catching up thing. When you. When anybody asks me what's going on, it's instant defense.

[B]

Why? What'd you hear?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I said, how are you? You were like, oh, God. Here, she's here.

[B]

Let's get this over with.

[C]

Here we go. All right, Let's, I guess, roll. I literally was like. I don't know. I was like, I'm sorry. We went through everybody, guys, by the way.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

No, but I said hi. I said hi to everyone. Met a lot of new people. You got a whole crew. Got a whole crew.

[B]

Got a whole sweetest.

[C]

A lot of cameras. Yeah. But I have to tell you, Guys, a story.

[B]

Yes, you said, you said. Yeah. You've been holding on to something for years. You said.

[C]

It happened about a month after the last time I saw you guys, which was like five years ago.

[B]

2021.

[C]

Yes, 2021.

[B]

Which. About five years ago.

[A]

That's the last time we saw you was four years ago.

[C]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

I guess five years ago it had to have been.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

2021. Is it 2026? Am I nuts here?

[A]

2026.

[C]

Yeah, but I was at a birthday party. I was just gonna say that, and I was like, don't say it. I was like, where's gonna go? It's gonna seem very like ants.

[B]

You blink and it's gone.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You believe that?

[A]

Looking back.

[C]

Time flies when you're having fun, right, guys? That's what I was gonna do. And I was just, I was like, stop. But I went to a birthday party about a month after the last time I saw you guys.

[A]

Okay?

[C]

This guy comes up to me. I just saw the clip of you on Are you garbage? When I was in the car on my way here. And I was like, oh, cool. I was like, I love those guys. Whatever, blah, blah, blah. End of the party. He's like, can I have your phone number? I want to ask you, like, is it too much if I ask you out on a date? So I was like, sure, I would love to go out on a date. He was cool. He was great. Great looking guy. He had dental insurance. I always ask, what? How did you know? I ask, I'm like, do you have medical.

[A]

Wait, hold on.

[C]

But most specifically, do you have dental? Because I want visalign.

[B]

Wait, you, you got good teeth though.

[C]

They're all right. But it's like, well, I know, but I, I, I know that I can pay for it, but I don't think I should have to. Like, I would just rather get married.

[B]

You are becoming. You're from Brooklyn originally. Isn't that where you from?

[C]

I'm from Long island originally. I've lived in Brooklyn for a long time though.

[B]

Long Island. The Long island is coming out of you.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Let me ask you this because I

[C]

want to go to the dentist because

[B]

she wants visible checking a gut, checking a potential suitor's. Benny's is very long.

[A]

Do you ask that before you got

[C]

to check the bennies?

[A]

Does that come out before you give the number?

[C]

Well, it was like came up in conversation. And when I say came up, I mean I blatantly asked. But is this before the insurance. Yes.

[A]

So if you would have said we're chit chatting, chitchat. So if he would have said no,

[B]

fully pulls out his HMO card.

[A]

So Obamacare.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

No dental.

[C]

But nobody's got dental.

[B]

We got dental.

[A]

Yeah. But they screw you. There's nothing.

[C]

It's not my. I mean, I have insurance. My deductible is like $7 million.

[B]

Crazy.

[C]

They're like, you have to d. In order for it to kick in.

[A]

It covers cleanings and whatever. But you got. You going for a root. You going on a Friday night, root canal killing you a little pain med. Looking for a drill. Get this thing out of there.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You're.

[C]

It's always also the doctors that are covered are just kind of like, not. It's like in someone's house. You're like, is this even like a

[A]

real Dr. Woodside Queen?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

To walk up or something.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Going on here. Get an elevator.

[C]

Someone cooking in the kitchen. You're like, why is this a house?

[A]

Potatoes.

[C]

It's so weird. It smells like potatoes.

[A]

If this guy hadn't said he didn't have insurance and he asked for the

[C]

number, I would have still given him my number. But you got to. I was like, he had. He had a Jeep and guys. Yeah. And he had dental.

[B]

This guy's listening to Realiz, realizing where he.

[A]

A Jeep wrangler or a Jeep suv.

[C]

A Jeep, like Liberty

[B]

used to have a Liberty. A Jeep.

[C]

A Jeep.

[A]

First of all, I had a latitude.

[C]

Oh, you had a latitude.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

That's a Liberty.

[B]

But a little latitude.

[C]

That's pretty rare.

[B]

Little stats to it.

[A]

A Liberty is something that a female gym teacher should be driving.

[C]

I feel like a lot of my. A lot of people I went to high school with, like, the girls got the Liberty. Cause the Liberty had the big sunroof. Right. It was like a convertible gym. It was so crazy.

[A]

Did that come with a sunflower, like put on the dashboard?

[C]

Probably. It comes with eyelashes on the front lights.

[A]

That's what this guy's driving around. You're going around the corner, you're out the window. He's got dental, though.

[C]

My boyfriend's here. He's got eyelashes and he's got dental.

[B]

You under. You understand the show at a level. Eyelashes on the car is all right.

[C]

That's got to be like. I mean, that's a personality trait. Right? Is. That's a mental illness. Right.

[A]

For a minute. Yeah. I don't know where they thought that was going to go.

[C]

My mom would be like, my mom wanted eyelashes on her Car so bad, guys. She talks about it all the time. She was like, yeah, I guess just if anybody wants to get me anything for Christmas, I guess think of two things. A left eyelash and a right eyelash for my car. And it was like a minivan.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

It was a green minivan.

[A]

It's gotta be a.

[B]

So a Beetle.

[C]

It's gotta be a Beetle. Even then it's like, we get it. You have a cute little car.

[B]

It's enough.

[C]

Yeah. What would you do if like, say you're going on a date with somebody and the girl pulls up and she has eyelashes.

[B]

She's a stripper.

[C]

I let. Really?

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

I don't think it's stripper vibes.

[B]

No, you're not wrong.

[C]

I think a stripper would have like. I always think of like. Like from the. Like a spider. Like a Mitsubishi, like Eclipse.

[B]

That's what my sister had.

[A]

He makes.

[C]

Really? Oh, yeah. But that was a cool car. I wanted that car when I was young.

[B]

It was like midnight green.

[C]

Oh, cool. That's a special color.

[B]

Yeah, she danced at Delilah's for a while.

[C]

There you go.

[A]

She did. Well, we called that the stripper wagon.

[C]

Okay. Really? See, I didn't even know that. I didn't even know that this was like an ongoing thing.

[A]

Mid-90s high school, like, hot.

[C]

Well, there was this. Guys, there was this like. She was like a dancer that lived at my house for a little bit because my mom felt bad for her. My mom let her live with us, talked about this. She was.

[A]

Yeah, it was a ballet dancer.

[C]

No, she was like. She was like a dance. She like dance in like a cage.

[B]

I'll told you. Okay. And then more.

[A]

I gotcha.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

That's more artistic.

[B]

Clothes on, though. There wasn't a lot of them to begin with.

[C]

Yeah, there wasn't a lot of them to begin with. And she lived at my house for a little bit.

[A]

That's not transactional. They're up there as like almost like decoration.

[C]

So they're like a Christmas ornament? Yes, kind of.

[B]

How did your mom know her?

[C]

She was friends with my oldest brother and she had like a very sad background. And she was like. She kind of was like, didn't have anywhere to go. She's a lawyer now, by the way.

[B]

What?

[C]

Yeah, she's a lawyer now, but she drove one of those fighters.

[A]

How old were you?

[C]

I was very young. I was about 9 and I. And it was trying to grasp what was going on. I didn't have a sister, so. There was this, like, cage dancer that lived at my house. Did they tell you that cage dancer is crazy? No. Everybody knew. And my mom, like, went to. Because my mom is very supportive. And my mom, like, went to the club one night to, like, watch her dance in the cage.

[A]

What?

[C]

Yeah. My mom's a lunch lady, by the way, like, just for a living. And it's like, why is the lunch lady at the club?

[B]

Why is the lunch.

[C]

You know what I mean? Why is the lunch lady at the club? Oh, because the girl in the cage is, like.

[B]

Lives here.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

But she drove a spider. She drove a spider. Eclipse. Whatever it is.

[B]

Spider was the higher end. I was like. It had the little. Little flavor.

[C]

Hey, you got it like that.

[B]

You got it like that.

[C]

You spend a little extra money, get

[B]

the spider that cage. Cash.

[A]

Yeah. That was the car where you knew somebody was spending too much on the car, you know what I mean? And not enough on everything else. Yeah.

[B]

They were underwater.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah. I always felt that way with Subaru. Certain Subarus. I'm like, that's an expensive. When they had the. All the accessories, I'm like, you don't need the bottom and the top. Like, it's like, why is it so low to the ground? Every time you would be in it. Boom, boom. Every bump.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And then you have the spoiler. Where are we going? We're going to Target. It's not that serious.

[B]

Would you prefer because it's Aunt Carly and we're going to Target to get a live laugh love plaque.

[C]

God, I love Target.

[B]

I know you do. You like that? What's the broad's name who's got the home line there? You like her? I don't know.

[C]

Oh, I love Barefoot Contessa. Don't get him. Love her.

[B]

Wait. Back to.

[A]

Jeffrey's a lucky man.

[B]

So the guy to the guy.

[C]

Yes. Me, I'm like, he's driving. He's driving a live. Right? He does, like, some. No, no, no. He's like a mechanic, but he works in, like, a boiler room.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

You know what I mean? He's, like, fixing it. Seems serious to me. Like, it's like. Feels like they're going to be an explosion. He's got to be smart.

[A]

But he drives a Liberty. That's weird.

[C]

Drives a Liberty.

[A]

Well, Liberty doesn't match up.

[C]

You'll see where this goes.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

So he brought up, like. He's like, I just think it's so weird that I saw this video of you when I was on my way here, and then he asked Me for a number. I give my number. I'm like, oh, send me the video. Because I hadn't seen it yet. He goes up, I don't have Instagram. And I was like, you literally brought up 5,000 times you just saw this on Instagram. So I know he's lying.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And when. When a person's like, I don't have Instagram. Sometimes they don't. But a lot of times it's like, I don't want you to see me.

[B]

I don't want you to see my

[C]

Instagram because I'm driving. I'm driving my girlfriend's Jeep Liberty.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

Around.

[C]

So I went. I said, you just said you saw it on Instagram. What are you talking about? And he said the most seventh grader thing I've ever heard.

[A]

No, I didn't.

[C]

He said, I was on my friend's Instagram.

[B]

Oh, my God. I was on my friend's Instagram.

[C]

Call my. Call my dad. You want to call my dad?

[B]

I'm holding it for a friend.

[A]

You lose in Canada who's on their

[C]

friend's Instagram ever, by the way.

[B]

Well, I got a lot of friends. No one's. I've never handed my phone to one of them and go. Go through my Instagram ever.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Oh, my God. Even someone being like, can I see your phone for a second? I'm like, that's the most psychotic thing I've ever heard. It's not happening.

[B]

I don't like when my wife does it. She'll do it. I'll go after a while ago. What are you looking at? Totally. No movement.

[C]

Totally. What's going on in there?

[A]

I'm bad with it.

[C]

What do you mean? You don't want people looking?

[A]

Or you.

[C]

Or you, like, leave your phone out. You don't care.

[B]

No. You don't want people.

[C]

No. Nobody does.

[A]

I had to get a new phone.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[A]

I had to get a new phone. This is maybe like two months ago. I have my phone. It didn't work. It got wet. Didn't work. I bring it into a Verizon and the guy hits you with a number of what the new phone is going to cost. And I'm like, okay. And he's a. Just gotta turn in your phone. I was like,

[C]

yeah, I'm actually gonna burn it, but thanks.

[A]

Even if I wiped it, reset it, deleted it, anything. I'm not turning my phone back over to a technology company.

[C]

Yeah. I have all my old phones.

[A]

Oh, stack. That goes right in the Hudson, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I Hit the claim wars down to Mexico.

[C]

But they always say that, oh, we can sweep your phone. And then they're like, we'll give you, like, $10 off. It's like, I'm just gonna keep this one.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't even care if it's shattered.

[B]

Bucks a month.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

If you give us your fa. Get out.

[C]

What are they doing exactly? I don't know.

[A]

Somebody gets. They.

[C]

I think they might use it for parts or something, but it's like they turn around and. Oh, they refurbish it.

[B]

Yeah, refurb. They sell it in another country. The Chinese.

[C]

I don't trust it. I don't trust it.

[B]

Yeah, they sell them in other countries.

[C]

The weirdest thing about that, getting a new phone is like, you go to Verizon, and they're like, okay, it's $2,000. And then they're like, we don't have the phones here.

[A]

Like, you can't have a phone.

[C]

That's happened to me. Every time I've gone to get a new one, I go to the Apple Store. Now Verizon never has the phone in stock. They're like, yeah.

[B]

I mean, like, what do you.

[C]

Sold it to you, but it's gonna come in the mail in four days.

[A]

You're like a pink one. The largest.

[C]

No, they don't even have. They don't even make cuties anymore. They don't even make cutie phones like they used to.

[A]

I always have it.

[C]

Time flies, guys.

[B]

He goes, yeah, they say, we don't have the phones here.

[C]

No, I don't know what you two. It's like, you're literally a phone call.

[B]

They get a phone, I go, can I get a phone? They go, well, what are you looking for? For? I said, anything newer than this. I had, like, whatever the 14 I'm looking for. Yeah, give me the next. It doesn't have to be the newest. I just need something newer than.

[A]

I have never once encountered this in my life.

[B]

And I said, we don't have them here.

[C]

Yeah, they don't have the phones in the store. It's like, then why have the store? To be fair.

[B]

There you go. I was at.

[A]

You ever heard this happen to you all the time?

[B]

Yeah, like, I mean, like, all the time. You get a new phone. But, like, yeah, three or four times in my life. They don't have the color. They don't have the gigabytes or whatever.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like. It's like you're at a Foot Locker. Back to school season. I got, like, a check to battle. No, it's swamp back.

[A]

The color never registered with me. Because I'm putting a case on.

[C]

Totally.

[A]

Maybe. I didn't know.

[C]

I wouldn't expect you to be a case guy. Some people have that energy of like, I don't have a case on my phone.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, it's like, when I see that, I'm like, wow, this person doesn't care about it. They're just like, whatever, Just smash it.

[A]

It's funny you mentioned that. I don't know where my phone is, but I don't have a case on it right now.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Because the case broke the top.

[C]

What's with the phone breaking and the case is breaking?

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

It's one of those heavy duty that

[B]

she just gave you aunt vibes of not believing it.

[C]

Fair enough.

[B]

What's going on? I don't know.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Move on. Clearly, you're being dishonest to me right now, and it hurts, and we're gonna move on.

[A]

No, it's the case.

[B]

Any more questions?

[A]

It's the case that everybody has, and it's supposed to be, like, a really good one. What?

[B]

Like the week before, I got a new phone, also before Foley and I got that same case the next day, I went in and turned it in because that case stunk.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's got the circle on the back.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It had the kickstand.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Mine's got.

[C]

It's like an easel.

[A]

The front broke, so I was walking around with an open face phone.

[C]

A kickstand is crazy.

[A]

We see.

[B]

What are you talking about? Literally, that's crazy.

[A]

Is that what you got rid of it?

[C]

It's like a picture frame.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

My Seinfeld on it and that.

[C]

That's cute.

[B]

Did you not give him your number or did you.

[C]

So I had already given him my number, and then he said that I don't have an Instagram thing. And then me and my friend went to leave, and I went. He was nice. She's like, yeah. I'm like, he definitely has a girlfriend. Right? She was like, a thousand percent, like, who pretends that they don't have an Instagram? All they talked about Instagram for five hours. I can't stress it enough. And, yeah, and then that was really it. I found his Instagram in three seconds. I googled his, like, first and last name, and it was like. He was like. He was like. It was like his anniversary.

[A]

Did he call?

[C]

No.

[A]

Huh.

[B]

He probably knew he was cook there.

[C]

Yeah. I think he might have texted And I was just. Maybe I didn't answer or whatever because what am I gonna do? Be like, ask your girlfriend? You just rather not answer?

[A]

That'd be very and crawley of you though. Yeah. I don't know. Tough guy.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Why didn't you tell me, Tiffany?

[C]

Why didn't you get Tiffany over here? Why don't you give me Tiffany's number?

[A]

You're smoking a Salem 100.

[C]

So I thought that was crazy. I thought that was crazy. And that's like your. That's your boys.

[B]

That's.

[C]

No, no, we don't co sign that.

[B]

A lot of good upstanding dirt bags out there. This guy's a two diamond sleaze ball.

[C]

Yeah, I was like, what the heck is going on over here?

[B]

For your support, by the way.

[C]

Yeah, by the way. If you're.

[A]

If you're on the shot, what do you want?

[C]

If you're on the Patreon. Thanks. We forgive you.

[A]

He took a shot at it. Call me.

[C]

What do you want, by the way? I miss you. No, I'm kidding.

[A]

By the way.

[B]

Please call.

[C]

I actually haven't heard from him in a.

[B]

You get jealous.

[A]

Yeah. Why didn't you try again? Text me back. Kevin's. Talk about Brunt.

[B]

Brunt. Brunt. Brunt.

[A]

Shout out to all you blue collar fellas out there. The boys doing the infrastructure, keeping the country neat, clean, safe.

[B]

Paving a road, building a house, fixing the pot, knocking down a house.

[A]

Do yourself a favor, get over there on the Brunt. Start. Start looking good, feeling good and wearing reliable, durable boots.

[B]

Yes, they have real names. Every product is named after a real tradesman that helped design the gear. The tough versus comfortable aspect of boots. Most boots force you to choose between one or the other. Are they tough? Do they last long? Or are they comfy and some sort of fashion brand? Not with Brunt, baby. Brunt built gear that is tough as hell, but comfortable. On day one, that was. I was. I was a bozo. And when I worked in construction way back in the day, I was a bozo when it came to boots. At one point, I was wearing my brother's old air force ones. Yeah. Just spray painted them yellow to try to fit in. I look like a bozo. I wish Brunt was around so I could feel good and look the part. Because I was faking it, baby. I was faking until I make it.

[A]

Fever. Freezing.

[B]

Yes. And all they have a risk free trial. They let you actually wear their boots to work before deciding if you want to keep them. Real job site days, not just Walking around a store going, oh, these fit me. Boots on the ground on the job site. If they're not right for you, you can send them back for a full refund. 100% risk free trial. Stop over paying for workwear that doesn't last for a limited time. Our listeners get $10 off by going to brunt work.comgarbage and use the code garbage at checkout. This is top tier gear for incredible price plus a risk free trial. There's no reason not to give them a shot. Do it.

[A]

Yeah, Kevin's talking about Helix, baby.

[B]

Helix.

[A]

Listen, Helix has been with us since Jump Street.

[B]

Jump.

[A]

They got our back and we got their back. Whose else back they got? They got your back. They got your back. Not me.

[B]

I sleep on my stomach.

[A]

You do?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You sleep on your stomach.

[B]

You know why? Because Helix lets me do whatever I want.

[A]

Because you go over, you take the quiz.

[B]

Took the quiz.

[A]

Takes two, three minutes.

[B]

Two, three minutes.

[A]

Find out how you sleep. Sleep on your back, sleep on your side, you sleep hot, you sleep cool. Are you a bigger guy? Smaller guy? Huh? And I'm not talking about the little guy got a shot at you. That doesn't matter. Sure. Penis size does not matter.

[B]

What the heck are you talking about, guy?

[A]

Gang, do yourself a favor. Get the best mattress you're ever gonna get. Helix.

[B]

I'm a Helix man through and through. They have high quality, durable beds. It improved my sleep tenfold. I was sleeping like a bad detective who couldn't solve a case. Now I sleep like a baby. Baby,

[A]

You solve the case?

[B]

Nope. I changed jobs. Cold case. They have free shipping and seamless delivery. Helix offers your mattress right to your door. With free shipping in the US 120 night sleep trial and limited lifetime warranty. The happy Helix guarantee can rest easy with seamless returns and exchanges. The Happy with Helix guarantee offers a risk free customer first experience designed to ensure you're completely satisfied with your new mattress. And right now, our listeners, you can go to helixsleep.com garbage for 27% off site wide. Exclusive for RU Garbage listeners. That's helixsleep.com garbage for 20% off site wide. Make sure you enter the show name at checkout so they know we sent you helixsleep.com garbage. Do it. I got one. Back when you were a young buck, you know, out there, Long island, who was the most famous person you met growing up? This is a new question since you've been going a long time.

[C]

Interesting.

[B]

It doesn't have to be like a

[C]

huge celebrity from my town.

[B]

And. No, just anybody. It could have been like a long radio guy. It could have. Just somebody. You were like, whoa.

[A]

Like a met that lived out there or something.

[C]

Well, there was a. You know who would do the school assemblies? Mick Foley, the wrestler? Yes.

[A]

What do you mean? Do the assembly?

[C]

He would, like, do, like. He would. There would be, like, assembly. And it was like, Mick Foley was there. I don't remember exactly what he was doing. I was like, holy shit. That's crazy that there's, like, a wrestler here.

[B]

Is he from out there? Can you see if. Mick Foley.

[C]

I don't know. But he was always in the school. He does a lot of. He's very philanthropic. He does a lot of charity stuff. And so he was always. There was always something going on with him, which I love because I loved wrestling going on.

[A]

He's got to be from Long Island.

[B]

Raised in Long Island.

[C]

Yeah. There you go.

[A]

It's a public school.

[C]

Long Island Public School. And then I went to.

[B]

You loved wrestling as a kid.

[C]

I did. I have two older brothers.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

So I. When it was wwf. Yeah, that was the.

[B]

That's old.

[C]

That was the good stuff.

[A]

Loved it.

[C]

By the way, I still love Stone Cold Steve Austin. He's my number.

[B]

Trying to get him on a show.

[C]

Really great. You gotta ask him about his cats.

[B]

Why?

[C]

He's got two cats and they're so cute and he loves them. You guys. Do you guys follow him? Poncho and Macho?

[B]

I don't think I do.

[C]

Come on.

[B]

I'm sorry, I don't have Instagram.

[C]

My friend told me it was good, though.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Should check it out.

[C]

But I would say him and then.

[B]

Good one.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's a huge one.

[B]

Yeah. Your school assembly.

[A]

That. That's proper famous.

[C]

That was great. Yeah, it was. It was during that time, too. Like the 90s. Crazy. And then I would go to every once in a while to, like, the Rosie o' DONNELL show, because my mom knew her. My mom grew up across the street from her Rosie.

[A]

No way. We were just talking about that.

[B]

Rosie o' DONNELL as a kid, it was so fun and cute and she. She. I don't know if she came up with it, but she patented Cutie Patooties.

[C]

Really?

[A]

That was Cutie Patootie.

[B]

Hello, Cutie Patootie. Anytime a kid was on the show, you have a kid. Cutie Patootie. Yeah, she made that. Main Street.

[C]

She grew up across the street from my mom. Yeah. My mom drove her to the comedy show that she got discovered.

[B]

You're a scumbag. That's. I swear, that is Long island lore.

[A]

She really owes it.

[C]

Right? It's, like, fake. It's like, my mom's just been telling the story. Rosie's like, who? But she actually did grow up across the street from her. And it was fun to go to her show. Cause there was always, like, toys around. There was, like, bobblehead. Did you get to go backstage and stuff like that? I met her a couple times. Yeah. Big. Yeah. That was. I'm trying to think of.

[B]

That's huge.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's actually classy. Because if my family would have had access to that, they would have abused it to no end.

[C]

We went a few times. Yeah. I think we went, like, maybe three or four times, which is, like, kind of a lot. No, no, it's not.

[A]

Compared with a real dirt.

[B]

No.

[C]

A thousand percent.

[A]

Yeah. We'd have been moving in there. I would have been ordering things.

[B]

Rosie, it's me.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Right, right, right.

[A]

Showing up there without my parents and stuff like that. I'm gonna hang out.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You guys get lunch yet?

[C]

You're in the green room smoking a cigarette.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I think that's great.

[C]

Yeah. Billy Joel once. I met him.

[A]

What?

[C]

At a charity thing. I remember recently. No, I was a kid. I was like. I was in high school. Yeah.

[A]

These are big.

[C]

I love Billy Joel, by the way. Which is very Long island to do. But you guys probably. Do you guys like Billy Joel or Bruce Springsteen better? You're Billy.

[B]

I'm not a Bruce guy.

[C]

I don't. I know.

[A]

There's Bruce guy. No. I respect the Boss. But as far as. Less

[B]

fluff.

[A]

I'm Billy. There's a lot of Bruce Springsteen songs that people are, like, chanting and singing that.

[B]

I'm like, this totally. Billy puts out hits.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Billy's a hitter.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

There's something. There's something sinister about him as well. Deep down.

[B]

He'll drive into the front of your house.

[C]

He'll literally crash his car into your front door.

[B]

He will drive right into the living room.

[C]

That's how I met him. He came flying through the window.

[A]

What the hell, Billy?

[B]

I told you to knock.

[A]

Is that a liberty?

[B]

You've met a lot of. You know, you've been quite successful. You met. Who's the most famous person you met? I mean, Billy Joel's up there. But as an adult, that's the most

[A]

impressive answer we've ever gotten off the road.

[C]

Really?

[B]

We had one person.

[C]

What are other people saying?

[B]

Somebody had a president.

[C]

President.

[B]

But he told him to get away from the Car or something. Get away from Mike.

[A]

No.

[C]

Is that meeting?

[A]

No, it was Ross Perot, presidential candidate. I can't remember who that was.

[B]

Johnny Pemberton.

[A]

Johnny Pemberton.

[C]

It's so funny to be like, I met this guy, and he was yelling at me.

[B]

He yelled at me to get away.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Get away from car, kid.

[B]

But who's the most famous person you've met as an adult since you've been famous?

[C]

I think I'm trying to think of, like, who's. I feel like I've met a lot of people where I'm just like, that was crazy. I never met Oprah. No, I met Leo.

[B]

You met Leo?

[C]

Leo's cool.

[B]

What?

[C]

Yeah, Leo's really cool and chill.

[A]

Where'd you meet him?

[C]

He. I went to the after party for the. One of the anniversaries of Saturday Night Live, and he was there, and he was cool and chill and normal. Like, so normal. He was like, I'm Leo. It's like, no. A thousand percent. I know. Really, like, cool guy. Yeah.

[A]

Wow. I'd be using Leonardo. Hi, I'm Leonardo. Totally DiCaprio. A new.

[B]

A new. A new Leonardo. Like the turtle as Foley is Johnny Drama from Entourage.

[C]

I never saw Entourage.

[B]

Whoa. You are queen.

[C]

Can you explain? Can you explain who Johnny Drama is?

[B]

Do you know Mark Wahlberg?

[C]

Of course I know Mark Wahlberg.

[B]

Do you know Donnie?

[C]

Mark. Yes, of course.

[B]

Donnie Wahlberg would be the. He's a cartoon version of, like, he tries really hard to be cool and

[A]

famous, which is an unfair comparison now because he's had a long running stint.

[B]

Very true.

[A]

On Blue Bloods.

[C]

Very trash, dramatic, freaking love that.

[B]

Your mom probably loves.

[C]

Oh, I'm sure my mom names me after someone on a soap opera, so I'm sure my mom love it. General Hospital.

[A]

Your mom still watches General Hospital.

[C]

She. She watched General Hospital when I. When she was, like, pregnant with me, and she was like, I love this.

[B]

What character? Do you know Carly?

[A]

I don't know Carly.

[B]

You got a picture?

[C]

Carly came to her. Yes.

[B]

Was that the character?

[C]

Well, they switch. They switch. You know soap operas. They, like. They switch to actress randomly. It's like you love an actress and then it's like a new girl the next day.

[B]

And they don't explain fictional character.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So it would be the person that's played by four. Wait. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 different people. Holy.

[C]

I've tried to figure out, which.

[B]

What year were you born?

[C]

1990.

[B]

1990. That doesn't make any sense. She came out in 96, so she lied to you.

[C]

No. Maybe that actress.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Duration of the character.

[A]

Really?

[B]

1996.

[C]

It had to have been General Hospital.

[A]

Whoa.

[C]

She always says it.

[B]

She might.

[C]

Because I thought it was really.

[B]

I don't know. We're finding this out in real time.

[C]

I want to call her.

[A]

Hey.

[C]

The character I just found out that's like not my real family. Like, like somebody my mom, like, took me at the grocery store and then it's like, just. We'll tell her it's from General Hospital.

[A]

You're actually a 60 year old.

[B]

You are probably Aunt Carly. You're an older. You're an older, older Long island woman.

[C]

Yeah. Oh, my God.

[B]

First appearance, 1996.

[A]

What the.

[B]

Maybe it's a.

[A]

It's gotta be a different camera. It's gotta be a different Carly on the show.

[B]

It could be if it.

[C]

Well, if this character came out on General Hospital in 96. Because I asked her once, I was like, what is it? Like Carly Simon? She said, no, the girl from General Hospital is soap opera.

[A]

Do you remember them calling you by your name from age 0 to 6? Maybe they didn't name you until you were like 6 or 7. You wouldn't remember that.

[C]

It's like a puppy. You're like, I don't know. It'll come to me.

[A]

They just said, hey, you.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Could be Carly Spencer.

[A]

Ah, Carly Spencer.

[C]

Guys,

[B]

I really hope. I really hope so too.

[C]

When was she? When was she there?

[A]

Is that Heather Thomas or Heather Lockler?

[B]

No.

[C]

I feel like soap operas are still popular, but it's the people that's that were watching them in the 80s. Really? So am I. Younger than I thought. My mom forgot what year I was born.

[A]

Wait, what's this one?

[B]

Same 96.

[C]

It's the same one.

[A]

What if it was a one off character? She was only on the show for one. It was like a delivery person or something. I just like the vibe.

[B]

She had good spunk.

[C]

I'm losing it.

[B]

That's crazy.

[C]

And I've been telling people this since I found it out. I've been like, I'm named after the girl from General Hospital. Cut. Sue. She wasn't even on the show.

[B]

The girl.

[A]

There's multiple Carly's on the show.

[C]

You can't say that's it.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Ellen, your time's up. Time to tell the truth.

[A]

That's your mom's name? Ellen.

[C]

Ellen.

[A]

I love that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

It's a mom name.

[B]

It is a very mom.

[C]

I think I've met like two younger Ellen.

[B]

Yeah. It's a tough One.

[A]

Do you guys have a family group?

[B]

No, I'm saying to be.

[C]

It should be a little Alice.

[A]

Do you guys have a family group chat?

[C]

No.

[A]

Really?

[C]

No. No, no.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I would have pegged you.

[C]

My parents are like.

[B]

Your parents are still together, right? Your mom and your dad? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think. Does your dad have Instagram? No, my dad used to be all over your Instagram.

[C]

I've posted them on Instagram before. They're wacky, dude. It's wacky doodle time. Which I love them.

[B]

Yeah, They're a whack pack.

[C]

Yeah. They've been together for like 50 years, which is crazy. They met in a model.

[B]

They might be lying about that too.

[A]

Yeah, they met in a model.

[C]

They met in a model.

[A]

We did go to years.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Got to go to movie. 50 years ago. 50. Maybe they met.

[C]

Got to go to they met 50 years ago. Or they've been married for.

[B]

What year did models open up?

[C]

Honestly? Let's get them on the horn. I feel like my mom lied. Let's see. Imagine, Models didn't open till 2007.

[A]

No, I recently walked. That was a dicks we walked out of. And they had the history of it.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, the first one was 1889 in Lower Manhattan. 1889, Lower Manhattan.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

They've been together for a million years.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

18, a sports store.

[B]

1886, where they shop.

[C]

It wasn't a sports store at the time. It was like a Sears. It was like a department store. They had everything. Yeah, they had everything over there, apparently. And you could get a man over, like, which is crazy.

[B]

It was like a Wool Wars.

[C]

Yeah. I always tell them, I'm like, you met one person, like, at Models, and then you married. Like, you guys got married after you met at Models.

[B]

They were young, right?

[A]

You don't make the first purchase.

[C]

They were teenagers. Yeah. Shop the store.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But yeah, it all worked out.

[A]

That's cute. I like that.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

But yeah.

[B]

Huh.

[A]

I also like that they have to explain the story a little bit. Like when parents have to explain. Well, it wasn't a Models then. It was different.

[B]

It was actually a whole department.

[C]

It was like a Sears.

[B]

You gotta wanna make it.

[C]

Oh, I love the Sears catalog. Forget it.

[A]

The toys.

[C]

Yeah. Shark Tank Gal, please. I love Shark Tank. And that's why let me in the tank, guys. For that reason, I'm out.

[B]

Who's your favorite? Your mom lied about your name. And for that reason.

[C]

Right.

[A]

What do you watch now when you're sitting on the couch watching tv? What do you what do you want?

[C]

I love Shark Tank. I've seen. I haven't seen the, like, I haven't been watching recent episodes, but, you know, they replay it all day and so I feel like a lot of the episodes I've seen, it's like before Mark left, of course. Cuz Mark is my baby boy. I love him.

[B]

Shout out.

[C]

Mark Cuban.

[B]

He shoots you straight on there. Yeah, he left.

[C]

I know. I haven't seen any since he left.

[A]

He was a real linchpin of that show.

[B]

He was.

[A]

Was.

[C]

This is the richest one on the whole show.

[A]

Is that true?

[C]

Yeah, he's like a bit.

[B]

He's got a b.

[C]

He's a billionaire with a bilbo.

[B]

That was the other guy. A couple hundred million. That's peanuts.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Somebody just became a trillionaire. I don't know who it was, Elon. I thought it was Terrell Owens.

[B]

That motherfucker's broke. Yeah. Big. Big shark.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Who would you. Who would you want to go with if everyone gave you an offer?

[B]

Depends on what kind of play. This one. I'm getting in a retail. If I'm getting in the fashion industry, I'm going with my boy, Damon John. Shout out to fubu.

[C]

Shout out to food.

[B]

If I have a consumer product that's going direct to customers, probably going, Lori.

[C]

I was gonna say, big fan of Lori. Almost like. It depends on the fashion, too, because Lori could sell. Those things are selling like hotcakes over there on qvc.

[B]

If I'm selling to broads, I'm going, I like Lori.

[C]

Yeah, you gotta love Lori.

[B]

She's always got a nice pumps on her.

[A]

I would go. I would go.

[C]

Her heels are so high. She's reaching for the stars.

[B]

I like Robert. Oh, my God.

[C]

And Trish, I love Robert, too. He's. I love him. Him.

[B]

Yeah, he's great.

[C]

They're all good. I like. I would say Mark Cuban would be my number one. I gotta love. You gotta love Barbara Corcoran. She's a wacky doodle.

[B]

She's in, like. You know, they air it out. She's a bit of a freak date.

[C]

Oh, she's a.

[B]

She's an old.

[A]

Really cougar.

[C]

Yo. She's.

[B]

Somebody will come out shirtless and she'll be like, honey, I want to give you the deal and I don't need the business.

[C]

Yeah. She'll be like, I'll give you triple what you asked for. There was a guy who was selling, like, macaroni and cheese on Shark Tank. Rich.

[A]

Like a. I remember this. Yeah. Yeah, it was Foley.

[B]

One thing. Of Velveeta shells and cheese.

[A]

Hello? Shits. Amy. Sharks. I'm watching it.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

But Barbara gave him a deal because he was, like, a hottie. He was like a hot guy with macaroni and cheese guy. She was like, I'll give you whatever you're asking for. I love her. I love that lady.

[B]

I love her.

[A]

Yeah, I would go with Cuban. Cause I think whatever I'd be offering would be, like, not cheap, but it'd be gimmicky. You know, we'd be selling, like, shrimp po Boys or something like that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Mr. Shrimpies.

[B]

Seems like he got this thought out of him.

[C]

Mr. Shrimpies. You knew the name, too.

[B]

We'd have three locations. We'd start off with a food truck, obviously. Fill up. Brand recognition, of course.

[A]

What's your annual sales now? A little under negative 100,000.

[C]

Oh, I love when they're in the negative and they start doing that because they're so good at math. All these people. The sharks are like, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

[A]

It.

[C]

Let's backtrack.

[B]

See them, like, close the book. Yeah. This guy stinks.

[C]

They flipped that. They ripped.

[A]

You want to sell me 5% for $6 million, and you have negative revenue?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Huh. Okay.

[A]

Anybody in the family drink Heineken?

[C]

No.

[B]

You do. Are you off the sauce? You drinking a little bit or not?

[C]

I drink. Yeah.

[B]

What are you doing? Wine, A beer.

[C]

I love a beer. I'm usually beer. I'm usually beer. But if I'm like, you know, if I'm eating and it, like, makes sense to have wine if I'm eating fish and white wine or, like, steak. Red wine. But I'm usually, like, a beer. I. That's the only rules I know.

[B]

Yeah. How you get that?

[C]

I've learned that from wine people. They're like, you can't have beer and steak. It's weird.

[A]

That's not true.

[C]

What is it exactly? This guy's. He's giving me the thumbs up. I can do it. He grew up rich. That's sick.

[A]

Nodding his head a little bit.

[C]

Good for him.

[A]

I was supposed to say, well, we did all right.

[C]

No, but it's good to be honest about it, because that's when people start going, this guy's lying about he grew rich. And then they lie about it. So it's good to. It's good to be honest. Good for him.

[B]

The homies, now they know.

[C]

And if he says he's new guy, you could drink beer and have, like, steak. Yeah, I'll do whatever I want. I'll have everybody call him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The one good thing about the Dempsey's, which is Luke's family, there's not just cash there. There's class and hard work and grit. They're very well grounded. They're very well adjusted.

[C]

People love that.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Good for them.

[B]

It sounds like you're trying to get in a will. If I'm being honest, they're well adjusted,

[C]

good, caring, and they're like a family to me.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I've always said.

[C]

I've always felt like a son to.

[A]

So do you. Mom, dad, I'll see you this Thanksgiving, huh?

[B]

Okay, let's see.

[C]

But I'm usually a beer. I love a Guinness.

[B]

What?

[C]

Love a Guinness.

[A]

You love a Guinness. How many Guinnesses are you having?

[C]

Depends. Guinness is like. Everybody thinks Guinness is heavy. It's not.

[B]

This is a dirt bag fact. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. It's like.

[B]

It's like the calories in a Michelo.

[C]

I wasn't gonna say anything about the calories, but it's not heavy. People think because it's so dark, they're like, why would you drink that? It's like, it's. It's light.

[B]

I know.

[A]

It's all night.

[C]

This episode is brought to you by Guinness.

[B]

No, it's not. It's garage beer and garage beer only.

[C]

Okay. I'm trying to think of what else I would say. Guinness. I like a Corona Modelo. Pacifico.

[A]

And Carly.

[B]

And Carly.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Is that Ant vibes?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Really? Corona?

[C]

Just like a little Corona with, like, a lot of lime.

[B]

Yeah. Are you doing a vape?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You have a siggy at all? Used to be a siggy.

[C]

Oh, I love a siggy. I love a siggy.

[A]

You have a cigarette every once in a while?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you keep a pack and you'll go to the pack, or do you think I might have. You might do a pack?

[C]

My whole freezer is cigarettes from. From other parts of the world.

[A]

No.

[C]

I go. When I travel, I get a carton. So I have, like, a carton? Yeah. I get a carton at the airport, and then I put them in. And you freeze them?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Cause so that I have, like, a million packs. So I have ones from France, Italy, Spain, Japan. I have all the cigarettes in my freezer. There's no food in there.

[A]

Huh?

[C]

And it keeps them fresh. They don't, like, freeze, but it keeps them fresh. Are you guys mad at me? Cause everyone's looking after. I said the Guinness thing. Like, it got weird. The energy was shifted.

[A]

Guinness was Fine. Cigarettes are fine.

[B]

A pack.

[C]

I love a skinny cig.

[B]

You do?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like a Capri.

[C]

The ones that they got over there. You Trish.

[A]

You're right. Trish.

[C]

Yeah. It's my destiny.

[A]

I used to also your old two

[B]

hands to drink that water. I don't know if you picked up on that. You were drinking it like a little otter.

[C]

What?

[A]

She thought that was cute.

[B]

Oh, thank you.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

I would have to assume the fridge and the freezer is extremely well clean and organized. Is that right?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Are you renting or do you own?

[C]

I'm renting.

[B]

You're renting?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

So I got. I feel like my. My freezer's a lot of cigs and ice pops.

[A]

Ice pops?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Outshine bars.

[C]

Love outshine. Good. I love that. Really? What do you got? You got the little dove ones.

[B]

Those are good.

[C]

The doves are good. They're like this big, though. You have to have like seven.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I'm in a transitional period right now, so I don't really have the freezer stock.

[C]

You don't have freezer. You don't have freezer?

[B]

He doesn't have a freezer.

[C]

No freezer.

[A]

I have no.

[C]

Okay, we'll get you a freezer.

[A]

Mostly freezer. Freezer burning.

[C]

Freezer burning.

[B]

Even that was in.

[C]

We'll get you a freezer. Look, you want a freezer?

[B]

I think Uncle Donnie's getting rid of one.

[A]

We'll give start you with a fridge. We'll start with a refrigerator. We'll get you that. We'll get you a bed.

[B]

Get you back on your feet a little bit.

[A]

All you do is.

[B]

If you start dancing in a cage, your mom will take you in.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Literally.

[C]

Call my parents. I'll take you in.

[A]

I love it.

[B]

Our dad commented on your new boots, love.

[C]

He's a fan.

[B]

I'll take in.

[C]

My dad watches the. The potty. He loves it.

[B]

Shout out to you. What's your dad's name?

[C]

His name's Nat.

[B]

Shout out Nat.

[A]

Thank you, sir.

[B]

What's that short for?

[C]

He? That's just what he is. That's what he. Well, his first name is Joseph, but he goes by Nat. He always has.

[A]

Talk about our kind of guy.

[C]

Yeah, I like.

[B]

I'm going by that. Don't ask any more questions, Farley. It's not.

[A]

What was the last vacation you went on?

[C]

The last vacation I went on was. And you like to Barcelona.

[B]

Who you going there?

[C]

Barcelona. Always running around that. I went for a wedding. Yeah. Loved it. Love Barcelona.

[B]

Childhood friends.

[C]

My cousin Was getting married and I brought my best friend as like my plus one.

[A]

Wow. Because yeah, mom and dad go.

[C]

My mom went, very nice. My mom doesn't like real. My parents just started traveling like last year or two years ago. So they're not used to it yet. And I don't know if my dad was like, really Space, Not a travel guy. They want to stay nearby.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, but my mom went.

[A]

Yeah. A lot of those guys I found out. And I have it too. Like I asked my dad about like, you know, like, he doesn't like, they always worry about what they get sick over there. They got to go to a foreign hospital or something or something like that.

[C]

Really?

[A]

That's what they worried about. Yeah.

[C]

Interesting.

[A]

I got my doctors here.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's so funny to like not go on vacation because of that. It's like, what if I get sick? It's like, I don't know.

[B]

Can you.

[C]

Can you not get sick for one week?

[A]

But I get that. I get that.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

In a tropical.

[C]

Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, I wouldn't want to die in

[A]

a hospital in another country. I don't know why.

[C]

Yeah, no, of course. I mean, it's not ideal. It would suck to be fair, but it's better to like not get sick. But I guess you can't control it. Especially guys. There's a new bacteria every other day that's killing people.

[A]

Upper east side is bad.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What's going on?

[B]

That's why I don't go up there. Who the fuck goes? The Upper east side. So you get for living up there.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Moving to Manhattan.

[C]

You guys are in the boonies. You're in the boonies. I get so many headaches every month. It could be chronic migraine. Fifteen or more headache days a month, each lasting four hours or more.

[B]

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[C]

Why wait? Ask your doctor. Visit botoxchronicmigraine.com or call 1-844botox to learn more.

[B]

Did you know Sam's Club isn't a store? It's actually a club with cool finds

[A]

and, like, a whole community.

[B]

It's a club.

[C]

Of course, Jason. It's in the name. Sam's Club.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Come join us. Sam's Club.

[B]

I got. So you go say you're coming over to my house, I invite you over, right? We're having, you know, we're cooking dinner. Something like that.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What are you bringing to the house?

[C]

Interesting. Well, I would ask.

[B]

You would ask, is there anything.

[C]

What should I bring?

[B]

And I'd say, nothing.

[C]

If you say nothing. I would bring a nice. If you drink, I would bring a nice bottle of alcohol.

[B]

Japanese cigarettes.

[C]

I think there's like, a certain. Yeah, a couple Japanese cigarettes, but I think there's a certain etiquette. Right? You don't want to. You don't want to bring something that's gonna, like, put someone out. You don't want to be like, heat this up in your oven. It's like, I already got enough shit going on.

[B]

You don't want to bring a task.

[C]

It's like, hey, you have to cook this. It's like, what? I didn't ask you to bring this.

[A]

I brought some buffalo dip. Here.

[C]

I think it's nice to bring a dessert. A dessert or a dip that nobody has to. It doesn't need to be refrigerated, doesn't need to be cooked. It's fine. Like a little appetizer. Yeah, I make a good dip.

[B]

What kind of dip?

[C]

Dirty martini dip.

[B]

What the heck is even there?

[C]

It's good. Harley, you want. Yeah, I'll make it next time. I'll bring cigarettes and dip. That's all I got to offer. I don't have dental.

[A]

You don't have dental, still?

[C]

No, I don't have dental.

[B]

Dirty martini dip has all the flavors of a classic cocktail in a creamy dip that's packed with flavors of blue cheese and olives. Perfect for dipping. Pretzels, crackers, or any your favorite dippers. Whoa.

[A]

I love a dipper. Goes in a pretzel.

[C]

I love a pita chip, too. It's the best one.

[B]

You're not wrong. Well, you'll need cream cheese, sour cream, blue cheese, pimento, stuffed olives, seasonings, and brine.

[C]

You need the martini brine in it. You could put a little splash, I guess, if you're getting crazy.

[A]

No, I don't want to.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. We're moving on.

[C]

No, me neither.

[B]

That was kind of your idea. Okay. Wow, that's.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I love a dip.

[C]

Easy peasy dip. Easy peasy. One, two, three.

[A]

We had an etiquette coach on here, and she said something very similar.

[C]

What'd she say?

[A]

She said, don't bring. Don't assume. Like, don't bring something that might clash with the meal.

[C]

Interesting.

[A]

If you don't know.

[C]

See, that would clash with a lot of stuff.

[A]

No, no, no.

[C]

That's a party dip. That's a party dip.

[B]

At the beginning.

[A]

No, no. Yeah. Not at all. That's.

[B]

Hey, that's it. People are coming. That's. That's the what, A cocktail hour. Like. Or dogs.

[C]

Yeah, Like a little appetizer.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Appetite.

[A]

They're not serving that with the dinner.

[C]

No, no, no. That's like a little snack beforehand.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But I think it's easiest to bring dessert.

[B]

Yeah, good.

[A]

What would it be? Little bakery out in Brooklyn.

[C]

Yeah, I. I wouldn't bake. I wouldn't bake. I can bake, but I can bake, like, banana bread. I can make, like, banana bread.

[A]

Unless you're really good. I think the days of ba. Baking something and bringing it over to someone else's house is. Is gone.

[C]

It's like, leave it to the bakeries. Yeah, let's keep those guys in business.

[A]

Christmas cookies.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That's how you're answering, Dave. Let's leave it to the.

[C]

Let's leave it to the pros.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Buddy from Cake Boss knows how to do it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Shout out to Buddy. If you're ordering, you're at a restaurant. You're ordering from the menu. Will you point at the menu like, oh, I'll do the chicken parmesan. Or do you have it show it or not like. Yeah, not like, show it, but like, Kevin's the waiter.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Oh, I don't know. I don't think so.

[B]

Well, do you have it?

[C]

Maybe I do. Maybe I do, now that I think about it, because. To just, like, speak to the person and not like, because I think I would forget. I would get flustered. I could be prepared, but I'm like, this is. I would like this, this, and this. But I gotta point to it. I gotta remind myself what I want. Cause then I forget something.

[A]

Something if I don't know how to say it. Like, if I can't pronounce the word. I'll start if it's chicken Mazzolino or something. Yeah, I'll do the chicken and just point to it.

[B]

Yeah, the chicken. Yeah, that or if you go, oh, I'll do whatever. I'll do the chicken mausoleum. Yeah, right. And they. If they have a backup, I keep it open in case they have a backup question. Totally with the schmooze and I gotta go. I can. I can reference.

[A]

Not just with cheese, please.

[B]

Yeah, panic.

[A]

No ketchup.

[C]

I don't want anymore.

[B]

Never mind. Water's fine.

[C]

Can I have my menu back?

[A]

I'm scared.

[B]

I'll do the zahini dip.

[C]

I'll just take the check.

[B]

Start freaking out.

[C]

No, it's like. It is very scary. It is very scary.

[B]

I got bad anxiety and they always

[C]

do have a follow up question. I never thought about that. They're like, is that what the capers? I'm like, I don't know. You guys are making it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, you tell me, guy.

[A]

What that with the Roman. Enough sauce, Whatever it is.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Are you prone to mosquito bites?

[C]

Am I prone to mosquito bites? I'm not one of those people that's like, they love me.

[B]

You know something? My blood. I got that sweet blood.

[A]

Exactly what I was looking for.

[C]

My mom. I got some sweet excuse. Love me. Okay.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

Would you prefer a mint or gum?

[C]

Gum.

[B]

You got a brand?

[C]

I love gum. I just like all gum.

[B]

She likes all gum.

[C]

Big league chew.

[B]

If you pulled out a second

[A]

bubble jug. Oh, those.

[C]

It was like powder in a jug.

[B]

For some reason somehow got there.

[C]

That was baseball ball game snacks.

[A]

I used to love the ones that like, would they be orange and it would come in like an orange juice carton. A little orange juice carton.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

But it was like little tiny gum. Yes, I love that.

[A]

Big fan of the little tiny. Like the little tiny box of Ritz crackers or little tiny things.

[C]

Yeah. Oh, those are the best. They still have those over at Costco.

[A]

They do.

[B]

You do Costco a lot?

[C]

I've. I've a membership. You got added to my mom's membership.

[B]

You got added to your.

[C]

She added me as a plus one to her membership. I got my own card and everything. I show it when I go to the bar. Hey, yeah. By the way, I showed at the airport.

[B]

It's okay. I'm TSA PreCheck and I'm on my mom's Costco membership. She added me as an authorized user. I can actually make changes to the plan.

[C]

Wholesale. Yeah, Costco wholesale. Thank you.

[A]

Do you go to the grocery store?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Do you don't order, like, what's it

[C]

like post, like Instacart, something like that? If it's heavy stuff, I do.

[B]

Where are you going? You Trader Joe's?

[C]

I like Trader Joe's. There's like markets and stuff by me that I. It's very rare. I like make a special trip for Trader Joe's.

[A]

Is this a regimented thing? Like, do you go every week?

[C]

Yeah, I go. I try and not go every week because then I end up buying stuff that I don't eat. And then I'd rather go like a couple times a week. But the big stuff, I'm guiding drinks or whatever, I get it delivered because I'm like, otherwise I have to Uber home. Me walking down soda, it's like, ew, literally disgusting.

[B]

What kind of soda you bank and.

[C]

Oh, Diet Coke. Cherry Coke. What you like Diet pepper?

[B]

You like the cans?

[A]

You're a can girl.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Interesting.

[C]

You're not.

[A]

I'm a. I'm a 20 ounce guy.

[C]

The 20 ounces taste funky and they

[B]

don't get as cold.

[C]

They don't.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I. Listen, I'll. I'll rip a 20 ounce bottle of DC because I like the volume. I need 20 ounces. Yeah, but I prefer to cans.

[A]

A can to me.

[C]

I have two cans.

[A]

Yeah, I got two cans. I get 20 ounce.

[C]

See, I feel like the 20 ounce, there's something. There's something funky about it. I'm not crazy about it.

[A]

I give it to you.

[C]

But I always get like seltzer, Diet

[B]

Coke, kind of seltzer.

[C]

It depends. They got funky flavors over there.

[B]

You do funky? You're probably like the. The wind, the spin drifts and the.

[C]

Yeah, like lime and strawberry or something.

[A]

You go for a deal. You like something on sale?

[C]

No, I just get whatever I like it. Writing it down.

[B]

Oh, yeah. You don't say. Huh. Okay.

[A]

Have you ever had your picture taken on a roller coaster? Coaster when you're going over the thing?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Is that still somewhere in your possession?

[C]

No.

[A]

Who was in that?

[C]

I think so. I feel like I've gotten them a couple times. I remember going with my friends in. Which one is the one in la? Universal Studio. Is it Universal Studio and Universal. Oh, there's one of those. But I remember we all tried to like do a pose at the. It was like. It was like a bit.

[B]

You were adult.

[C]

Yeah, right.

[B]

You're not like.

[C]

Yeah, this was like three years ago. And I don't think we all were

[B]

like, this looks so Stupid Never looks as cool.

[C]

It's truly. Truly.

[A]

Any diffusers in your house?

[C]

Like scent diffusers?

[B]

No electricity.

[C]

Are we talking about plug in ones or what are we talking about?

[A]

Would they be cold?

[C]

I thought some reeds. I got some reeds.

[B]

Like the sticks. Like to get sticks.

[A]

Hey, I thought those were diffusers.

[C]

I was thinking. Okay, I was thinking of a diffuser that's like humidifier.

[B]

No, like you would. You would put like the essential oils in.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, that's what I was thinking, Lacy. But I have like. Yeah, the reeds and stuff.

[A]

Very nice.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Pretty good.

[B]

Do you cook at the hell you cooking?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You making eggs? You do eggs?

[C]

Yeah, I like eggs.

[B]

You are cooking a couple of scrambies in the morning.

[A]

Let's say you're home.

[C]

Couple scramby. Couple hard boiled.

[B]

You're doing hbs.

[C]

Is that bad?

[A]

You like a jammy egg?

[C]

Love a jammy.

[A]

Wow. That.

[C]

That's seven minutes on the dot.

[A]

That's exact. That's. That. That is the pinnacle of a.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Like, that's everything we've done in egg technology.

[C]

It all makes sense when it comes back to that.

[A]

Just. We should just be doing that.

[C]

We don't need to do anything crazy.

[A]

Yeah, I honestly, I feel that way.

[C]

I have the instruments. Like, the instruments. It's like a weight you drop on the top of the egg and it slices the.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

The shell off for hard boiled.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Yeah, it's cool. Whoa, guys. It's cool. I got a lot of stuff in my kitchen. Thank you.

[A]

Let's.

[B]

That's another question. Yeah, hold on.

[A]

Let's say you're home for five days.

[B]

Five days. Okay, let's go Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

[C]

Sure. Okay.

[B]

A little.

[C]

Let's get crazy. Let's get crazy, guys.

[A]

How many days are you cooking?

[C]

I usually do like. I'll cook for like two days. Two days worth of food. Eat it like leftovers. The next.

[A]

Yeah, okay.

[C]

If I'm making like. I just make extra of whatever. If I'm making pasta, if I'm making chicken or soup. I make a lot of soup.

[A]

You do?

[B]

Are you doing like.

[C]

I'm like a wood.

[A]

Which.

[C]

My cauldron. But it's just like clam chowder.

[B]

You're making clam chowder to house?

[C]

No, I've never made clam chowder.

[A]

But that's like Manhattan clam chowder.

[B]

That's wild.

[C]

New England would be crazy. It's like heavy cream.

[A]

It's a lot.

[B]

It's a lot of cream. Yeah, I gotta. I got Two days to finish it.

[C]

But I make, like, chicken soup, chicken noodle, chicken veg, chicken rice with a rotisserie chicken. Throw it on the pot.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

Very nice. Nice trashy way to do it, but. Yeah, but good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, I got a two. Two questions. One, let's see. Cracking. So you're making a couple of scrambies, sunny side up, however you want. You crack an egg. Where does that egg go? Does it go into the trash can? Do you have a garbage disposal? Or do you do. Would you put it. Ever. Put it back in the carton.

[C]

I would put it in the trash. Are people putting it in the carton?

[B]

That's.

[C]

You put it back in the car.

[B]

Not all that. I've gotten better, but.

[C]

And is there a reason why? Are you composting or. No, No, I think that's a compost thing. Like, if you're composting, you would do that.

[A]

What is composting, by the way?

[B]

You put all your food scraps in a bucket and your neighbors hate you. That's what it is.

[C]

Your food scraps and your, like, paper towels and paper bags and. And you bury them.

[B]

Put a landfill in your apartment. That's what you do.

[C]

It's good for the soil in your yard. If you're, like a gardener, you bury them.

[A]

Yeah, my old Gatorade bottles.

[C]

No, plastic stuff. And food scraps.

[B]

Biodegradable.

[C]

That's all I have at my house.

[A]

I do. I have a little. It's a little frank.

[C]

Just.

[A]

Okay, I'm in a transitional period right now.

[C]

I'm. I'm okay with it. I've been agreeing with you this whole time.

[A]

Whatever, Aunt Carly.

[C]

Okay. He's ready to. I hate.

[A]

I hate starting my band.

[B]

Okay, then the second part of that. What is you mentioned you got your little egg cracker doohickey. What other. What, kitchen appliances live on the counter? You got a toaster, you got nothing. Nothing.

[C]

Nothing lives on the counter. Except for. Because I don't have, like, a lot of counter space. I only have my Nespresso machine.

[B]

Very nice.

[C]

That's all I have on it.

[A]

Crazy. I said that at the beginning.

[C]

Yeah, I know. I was like, wow.

[B]

Yeah. They make more than one.

[C]

Connected. He knew.

[A]

Well, see, that was really. For me.

[C]

You have an espresso.

[A]

I do not.

[C]

That's great.

[B]

We stayed in an Airbnb in LA that had one that we all kind of liked because we're curating guys, you know. Oh, you're blue collar.

[C]

When my Keurig broke, I. I Got the Nespresso cuz it was like a Black Friday whatever. And it was like they were sell. They were basically giving. Can't afford not to.

[A]

You feel better drinking them, but they

[B]

feel clean before the show.

[A]

They got froth before we record it. In our pre production meeting that, that was my contribution.

[B]

Is that what you call those pre production meetings?

[A]

I asked if we can get an espresso machine and I didn't really get an answer.

[B]

I said yeah.

[A]

So I brought it up up on the air. Made it seem like it was an Antuti. Just to get a do got. Yeah. Just to trap him.

[C]

I think you guys could get one.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Think you can swing it, right? So only it would be nice to have it on the bar or something. Put in a kitchen machine. Yeah, it's great, huh?

[A]

My therapist has that in his office.

[C]

An espresso machine, but it's right there.

[A]

No one's making that coffee, right?

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

Would you Maybe he's drinking it.

[A]

It's in where the couch is.

[B]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[C]

If it's, I mean next to the

[A]

him, it's next to the couch.

[B]

You can't be sitting there crying about your dad died. He gets up and cracks an espresso.

[C]

It's so crazy. Yeah, give me a second.

[B]

He's got the full cappuccino. He's got the laughs. Yeah.

[C]

It's actually crazy if it's for him. And he's like, you can't have it.

[B]

No, don't touch that.

[C]

Can I have a cup? No, actually we're good.

[B]

Do you still own any DVDs?

[C]

No, nothing, nothing, Nothing. But they're coming back. They're saying Gen z is bringing DVDs back. They're saying. They said somebody's using DVDs.

[B]

They're saying no, get out of town.

[A]

Yeah, like bringing it back is going to go back and save legacy media.

[B]

No, I just think it's probably kitschy to them.

[A]

Yeah, that kitschy stuff never works out.

[B]

Yeah, it's like the baggy clothes. These kids are wearing baggy clothes again. Yeah, get out of town.

[C]

Yeah, get out of here.

[B]

That's what Aunt Carly says.

[C]

Been there, done that. And then they make fun of us.

[A]

Yeah, we've been watching DVDs.

[C]

I was wearing Jankos and I was smoking cigarettes. You kids ever heard of these in your mother's eye? Insane clown boss.

[A]

We had the boys shout out to the boys.

[C]

Really?

[B]

Yeah, they were super cool.

[C]

They must be cool.

[A]

Awesome.

[C]

What? Oh my God.

[B]

What are they like? Very, very Deep.

[A]

Very introspective. Very fun. Very funny.

[C]

They are so interesting. Wow.

[A]

They came. Went through a lot. I love their fans. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Wow. Cuz, I mean, their fans are die hard.

[B]

They're die hard. And they got labeled as a gang.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Early on by the FBI. And then people would go apply for jobs because they're like, I'm like a school teacher, whatever. And they would get flagged for being a gang member by the F. And they couldn't get jobs.

[C]

That's crazy.

[B]

Believe that thought. This is United States of America.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

That's so wild.

[B]

Yeah. Crazy.

[A]

The world's going to Helen Handbask. What?

[B]

Tighten up that mic real quick. This guy in a mic, it falls apart. It falls off every episode. The whole time will just fall.

[C]

She's grabbing it.

[A]

I'm not grabbing.

[B]

She's been here for 50 minutes. She's picked up.

[C]

There you go. I do that, too. I'm always like, I don't know what. I'm grabbing it.

[A]

I can play for a lot of stuff around here. Aunt Carla, you wouldn't believe it. I want to come live with you guys this summer.

[C]

Yeah, come live with me.

[B]

Do you have any gift cards on your purse? Person or purse at the moment?

[C]

Can I say something? Every gift card I've ever gotten has not been used. It's in a drawer. It might. You could just give them to me and not have any money on them, Honestly. Because I forget that I have them. They're in a drawer. I'm good. I'm good. I. I'm never going to reach for that.

[B]

I understand.

[C]

Do you agree? Like, do you use them? You pull one out like.

[A]

Kevin, you're using gift card.

[B]

Yeah, obviously. I found. I found one the other day. I found one the other day in my car that I've used a little bit. Live Nation was doing this thing. When you're on the road, they would give you gas gift cards from Shell.

[C]

Gas card is different.

[B]

I don't know. I know. But I would forget them. I would, like, use it and be like, okay, there's. There's 28 bucks left on that.

[C]

Can you combine them?

[B]

Probably.

[A]

Where would you find a Shell?

[B]

What?

[A]

There's Shells at gas stations around?

[B]

No, not in Manhattan.

[C]

Is Shell not. Not our thing anymore.

[B]

It is.

[C]

I remember Shell.

[A]

I remember Shell.

[B]

Yeah. They're doing all right. Okay. Hey, I bet you the guys who work at Shell got a fridge. Just.

[C]

It's like they got a bunch of shot at me. They got a bunch of fridges in Shell.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

If I remember correctly, but interesting. No. A gas card is very different.

[B]

Sure. But yeah, if it's like a $50 thing to wherever. If it's like, if I'm not. If I don't have it on me at the store, I'm gonna forget the thing, too.

[C]

That I think is helpful if you could buy online.

[B]

But yeah, it's good. It's good.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That's where you could buy a Target dot com. You know, WW that was very. It's my mom, WW dot. She never adds a third W. Do

[A]

you remember anything you got for Christmas last year?

[C]

No.

[A]

Anything?

[C]

I don't get stuff for Christmas. Really? Yeah. But as an adult, I feel like my parents are like, I'm trying to think. My mom got me, like, a hat that, like, lights up so I don't get hit by a car.

[B]

Wait, what?

[C]

That was like, a couple years ago. I was like, maybe we don't have to fly. We don't have to do the gifts anymore.

[A]

What was your most memorable Christmas present ever?

[C]

I got a vanity when I was a little kid. I was like, probably like 6 or 7 years old.

[B]

Caboodle type thing?

[C]

Yeah. Like, it was like a vanity with a chair, and it had all the play. It was like a. I know that

[A]

kitten caboodle you're talking about. Kit. I was going to be a good fisherman's tackle box. Box.

[B]

It's really just a tackle box.

[C]

Oh, the caboodle. Love that. Oh, I still have one.

[A]

You do?

[C]

Yeah. I still got a caboodle.

[B]

Ain't Carly. Don't throw nothing out.

[C]

I got a big one and a little one. Not bragging.

[A]

You bring it with you?

[C]

No.

[B]

Yeah. I feel like your days are. I feel like you're. You're a very whimsical person.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

You still go, I got my kitten. I still got my caboodle.

[C]

I got my caboodle. Why would I get rid of it?

[B]

Yeah. I don't know.

[C]

It stores so much stuff.

[A]

You mean whimsical. Like she's singing birds.

[B]

I don't know. It's too fun. She's having fun.

[C]

I'm always having fun.

[B]

She's always. Girl having fun. Yeah.

[C]

Always having fun.

[A]

Very sharp. I respect it.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Glad you guys are doing okay.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

I. This is another. I wanted to ask. When we were talking about food, you went to a wedding, Right. And instead of dinner, they had taco stations. How would you feel about that? Discuss.

[C]

Interesting. I wouldn't mind it. I'm not picky. And also, like, I always felt like every time I go to a wedding, I'm like, this is such a waste of money to pay for all this food. Nobody is sitting and eating.

[B]

Yeah, it's. It's such a.

[C]

People are moving around and dancing and talking, and it's usually like anytime a place has to make that many plates, it's not going to be that great. I gotta say.

[B]

I agree.

[C]

I'd rather it be like a taco. I'd rather. I don't care. Fondue. Fondue. Maybe fondue was too much.

[B]

No, he was just talking about fondant.

[C]

He said no.

[A]

No fondue.

[C]

Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I would, like. Like a cocktail hour. The entire wedding would be nice. That's my favorite stuff. Because it's picky me for food.

[A]

We're big on appetizers as a meal.

[C]

That. That's my thing.

[B]

I say lose the entree all together.

[C]

Lose it.

[B]

Just do apps.

[C]

Two apps. Two apps is good. Fine.

[B]

No, two apps.

[C]

Confidence in it for two people. No, I said it like I was 10 toes and I side. Two apps and a side for two people. Two apps and a side. I think maybe a little salad.

[A]

Yes. When you. Yeah. Not when you're ordering, though.

[C]

No.

[B]

When else would you get it?

[A]

I'm just saying when you're thinking about it, you'll realize that after. We didn't need the entrees.

[B]

But I think that Carly's living a different life than me and you when

[A]

we're ordering in that desperate time of. This might be the last thing to eat. Gotta make sure you're prepared.

[C]

I like the fun stuff. Little plates.

[A]

Coconut shrimp.

[C]

Love coconut shrimp. Of course. Hey, I'm not driving coconut shrimp.

[A]

You're doing a great job, by the way.

[C]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[A]

I do want to push back on that slightly.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Just not the coconut shrimp thing. We're cool on that. The feeling of sitting down with a. With a protein, mashed potatoes and vegetable is pretty solid because I had. I had a chicken marsala at an Irish bar. Try the gossip in Hell's Kitchen. Ate at the bar. Bar chicken marsala, mashed potatoes and vegetables. Nice.

[C]

It's like, good pub food, too.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It's like getting a pot pie over there.

[B]

Yeah. I'm not against that. Makes.

[A]

You can't have mashed potatoes at a wedding, though.

[B]

My take on the. The smaller my tape on my take on apps only is if, like, the five of us were going out to Equality Italian or something like that, we

[C]

go, yeah, let's get.

[B]

Let's get the cheese. Cheese board. Let's get this, let's get that, let's get that. Because then you. You do that. Because they're so much fun. There's so. There's. Yeah.

[C]

And you want to try everything.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You go, then. Then I go. I also ordered a 14 ounce steak. I don't want that right now.

[C]

Yeah. Oh, my God. That realization when you're going, we didn't even get the food yet, and we're all full and feel so crazy. It's the worst because you're just like. I guess, like, put it. And we all feel sick for. For the rest of the night.

[B]

Yes. That's what. I don't know.

[A]

Like, I was just tested with that not that long ago. Because I'm on Zepbound. Right.

[C]

Oh, what's that?

[A]

Weight loss stuff.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[B]

But if you over.

[A]

You don't.

[C]

I didn't know that one.

[A]

I didn't know.

[B]

That's so good for a guy.

[C]

Like a new one? No, it's a new one, right?

[B]

It's like Manjaro. You know Manjaro.

[C]

I know Manjaro. I know Zempic Manjaro. The other one that was. That I don't hear about anymore. Maybe Zepbound jumped in.

[A]

Maybe. I don't know which one you're talking about. I don't know.

[B]

Listen. I don't know.

[C]

So you're on Zappy.

[A]

Yes. So we got that. I got to that point in the meal where we. We only ordered a little bit.

[B]

Bit.

[A]

And if I would have ordered more, I would have got sick.

[C]

Yeah. Oh, I don't know where I was going with that. Totally. Yeah. You don't know what to do because it's like, I guess just like put it in a box and then just bring it out.

[B]

You do take. You do leftovers.

[C]

Usually not. Because I. I'm trying to go. If I'm going out to dinner, I'm usually going out after. I'm not bringing to the bar. Oh, that's actually a fridge I could use for 45 the street. Like some wings things. Do you guys mind? It's like I'm not bringing that around

[A]

the Straight to go, though.

[C]

Straight to go.

[A]

I've never seen that. Like, when. Instead of bringing it out on a plate, just bring it out.

[C]

Yeah, you might as well if you really don't want to even take one. It's like, if you're gonna go home.

[A]

You've never done that?

[C]

No, no.

[A]

Pretty good.

[C]

It's not really leftover if you're on your Way home. It's like. Whatever. It's like takeout then.

[A]

Yeah, right. It's a fine line, but on the Sopranos, watch a.

[B]

Do you clap when the airplane lands?

[C]

No, my God, no. I'm not that much of an ant.

[A]

You're doing a great job, by the

[B]

way, for the pilot. You're lucky I didn't step in and start flying this thing on your way out. You used to, huh?

[C]

Oh, God, those people in the airplane. It's like, of all places. Don't do that on the airplane with the turbulence and doing bits.

[A]

Sure.

[C]

It's like, we gotta take a break.

[B]

Yeah. You travel. You're very well traveled. You travel pretty.

[C]

Travel.

[B]

You're like, very streamlined, I guess. Are you like.

[A]

When was Barcelona?

[C]

Barcelona was last year. I'm going to Korea in a couple weeks.

[A]

North or south?

[C]

Seoul. Yeah, South.

[B]

Cool.

[C]

Imagine North. Can you even go there?

[B]

No, no.

[C]

Not unless you're like a photographer or something.

[B]

I don't even think you should go then.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

No, I'm being honest with you.

[A]

You're there for shows.

[C]

No, I'm going there for. With my best friend for her birthday.

[A]

Nice.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You like Korean food?

[C]

Food. Love Korean food. Korean barbecue.

[B]

So good. Just. You two are going? Yeah. Crazy.

[C]

For her 40th.

[B]

Good for you.

[C]

Yeah. It's gonna be fun. I'm getting a whole new face. No, I'm not getting on the face.

[B]

Is that what they do?

[C]

I'm getting, like, zapped. I'm getting laser treatments. Yeah.

[A]

Wait, what?

[C]

They got all the stuff.

[B]

They're high end over there.

[C]

And it's really. It's just the best. Wait, they know what I'm doing over there? Yeah. That's not FDA approved yet here.

[B]

Because it's all red tape. You gotta be. Gotta. Yeah. Grease the wheels.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You gotta wheels over here. Over there. You don't gotta work about it. But they're pros. That's like. People are doing it. People are going there just to get like.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, it's like when guys go to, like, Turkey to get the hair. To get the hair done. Yeah.

[B]

That a shot at me. Sounds like a shot at me.

[C]

No, I have a couple friends that did it.

[B]

Oh, yeah, me too.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I would do. If I did. I would do it in New York.

[C]

You got the same friend.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not flying to Turkey. Jefferson. The only. The only thing, the biggest thing I'm afraid of.

[A]

Tough look is.

[B]

Do you ever see when their heads swell up?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's crazy.

[C]

It's.

[B]

It looks like a.

[A]

So you Sit it out for a couple of months.

[C]

That's if you're like fully bald. I think that's like, like that's like if you. It's all skin, you know what I mean? Because they have to do. It's a lot more. I don't think you would need. I don't think it would.

[B]

First of all, I don't need any of it. Okay.

[C]

I don't think you would need it. But I. My friend had taken a picture. He was in the waiting room the day after because you have to do like a follow up appointment after you get the transplant. And he took a picture in the waiting room. It's all these guys looking like they just got lobotomies. It's like bloody.

[B]

That looks like a Civil War officer.

[A]

How do you kill it in six months?

[C]

A civil war.

[B]

Too many bandages. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

I'm like, geez, you ever see the

[B]

flights home from Turkey?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's just like a bunch of guys who look like me with swollen ass noodles.

[A]

A bunch of guys trying to improve themselves.

[C]

Yeah. He said they say on the flight don't take any pictures because I guess they're used to it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There's so many.

[C]

Everyone's like vulnerable.

[A]

Yeah. You ever have those French candies that come in a little silver tin? I'm talking about. They're hard candies. They're covered in powdered sugar.

[C]

What's the flavor? What? Sugar?

[B]

Yeah, I know what you mean.

[A]

Yeah, they're fancy.

[B]

Are they French?

[A]

I don't know. They're not. It's not Hershey's. I know that.

[C]

I want to see.

[B]

I want to know what you know, what you're talking about. Did you find them?

[C]

Luke?

[B]

Ron, Des.

[A]

Pull them up.

[B]

How do you say.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

Are they like little tangerines?

[A]

Yeah, it could be. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, they were.

[A]

They're little silver round cups.

[C]

Interesting. Let me see. Because I'm trying to think. I know that there was like one from when I was young that was special candy.

[B]

No, I got nothing here. Rendezvous. So re. Oh, these?

[A]

Yeah, some like that.

[C]

Yes. I've had those. Of course. Yeah, those are.

[B]

Some like that. Close enough.

[C]

Yeah. I haven't seen those in a while.

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[C]

I wonder if they still make them.

[A]

I'm sure they do. Should have done very well.

[B]

Probably very.

[A]

But there was always somebody in the class that went to France in the summer and brought them back.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And then handed them out like they were Adderall.

[C]

Yeah. I I didn't, I didn't go to France when I was young.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I like, wasn't like traveling. I was like 26 or something.

[B]

You go with for MTV.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. To London and then. Yeah.

[A]

Hello.

[B]

And then.

[C]

Hello.

[B]

What's your favorite country besides the United States of freaking America.

[A]

Let's go.

[C]

There you go. I'm trying to think. I really like Japan. Yeah, Really? I did a USO tour in Japan, which was cool.

[B]

Whoa.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You're a goddamn patriot.

[A]

To fly in a helicopter.

[C]

No, I wish.

[A]

Delta, you have to shoot a tank.

[C]

We were on a bus. We were on a bus.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Yeah, we like started in Tokyo. Yeah, it was all the, like there's so many military bases there. Cuz it's so like close to North Korea, don't forget.

[A]

Yeah, I think that's one of the options over there.

[C]

Yeah, that was really fun. I wish I would have extended my trip longer cuz it was just like we were working the whole time and bases are very American.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

No matter where you are.

[B]

It's like going to Toledo.

[C]

It's like. Yeah, it's like they got a target, you know? Yeah. And then we stayed on base.

[B]

That's pretty.

[C]

It was like 10 different bases.

[A]

You lick a ramen?

[B]

Love a ramen.

[C]

Love it. The fancy ramen too is good.

[A]

You mean legit?

[C]

Like not the one on the cup.

[B]

Oh, you're a dirt bag. Is that what you thought I'd fancy?

[C]

No, I love the.

[B]

Is it like cup of noodles?

[C]

Sometimes, yeah. It's a lot of sodium, but who cares?

[A]

I still eat ramen. Pretty heavy, the packed ramen. That's what I thought it was as a kid.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oodles and noodles.

[C]

Cup of noodles? Yeah. Oodles and noodles. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, you know, I think. Do you. How do you. I, I ha. You have to enjoy. Well, I would assume. Do you enjoy watching the Antiques Roadshow?

[C]

Love it. Is it your dream to be on it?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

What do you look at? What would you sell?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Kevin has a mug collection.

[C]

Really? I don't like, like old ones, like antique ones.

[B]

No, I buy them at Starbucks.

[C]

Oh, okay. She's so supportive bringing that to Antiques Roadshow. So these are 2000.

[B]

This is a 20.

[C]

These are 2012s. And then we have 2012-20, 25.

[A]

She's so supportive. But then when she gets in the car, she's talking to somebody. He thinks he's gonna sell those cups, those mugs on Antiques Roadshow, they're not worth the nickel.

[C]

They're not antiques yet.

[B]

He's gonna embarrass the family if he goes on there.

[A]

But he does what he wants. He's a nice kid.

[C]

Yeah. You gotta hold on to him for. For a couple more years before they become anti.

[B]

How did you get here today?

[C]

I took a Uber.

[B]

Took an Uber?

[C]

Yeah, Uber.

[B]

Black or regular?

[C]

Regular, I think. Think? Yeah, I do what I do. Whatever. Like pops. I think like Uber X, right? It's a regular one. Or sometimes I like Lyft.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Yeah, I like lift. I don't mind.

[A]

Huh.

[C]

Depends. Yeah.

[A]

Uber won that war though, right?

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

I don't know really. Oh, Uber one.

[A]

Uber's coke.

[C]

That guy's on Shark Tank sometimes. Uber guy.

[A]

Luke.

[B]

No, he was an investor.

[C]

He was an investor.

[B]

The Indian guy?

[C]

No, the guy who's always wearing a. A cowboy shirt. The. The Uber guy that's always on Shark Tank. His hair is like Lego hair.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

And he has like.

[B]

He has like the bolo tie.

[C]

He always wears a bolo tie. Is he from Texas?

[B]

Like, what does he feel? Oh, so unlike.

[C]

He's. Yeah, cuz he's like preaching to people. It's like, dude, Mark Cuban sitting next to you, you know, he's got all those teams. What does he do, Mark Cuban? He's got everything.

[A]

If I was going around to get investors pitching Uber, I would not let my part. Would you let me wear a bolo tie to any meeting we ever had?

[C]

Right.

[B]

No. Well, he may already. He was in early on Uber and made like a bajillion.

[C]

Maybe he was an early investor. Yeah, I wouldn't bring him to the pitches.

[B]

He's very unlike.

[C]

He's not charming. His name's Chris.

[A]

Maybe he became a bolo tie guy after he got the money. That I can see.

[C]

Can we find out if he's from Texas or anywhere that you would find a cowboy? Like, why is he.

[B]

You know who we're talking about? Yeah, he went to Georgetown University. What's his name? Chris Sack. Saka? Yeah.

[C]

That guy stinks.

[A]

God, I like the name Saka.

[C]

Yeah, Quarterback.

[A]

Good high school quarterback.

[C]

Cool name.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not a good investor name.

[C]

No, no.

[B]

Good bowl.

[A]

Cash, though. What'd you say?

[B]

I guess a good bowl. Oh, we gotta wrap it up. This girl's trash. What are you talking about? Guys, thank you so much for coming.

[A]

My last question was a French candy,

[B]

so I've been killing time.

[C]

There you go.

[A]

I thought that was the playoff.

[B]

What the heck?

[A]

Ladies and gentlemen, our old friend, still garbage, but Very fantastic. Carly Aquina. Carly, we love you.

[B]

Thanks so much for coming back.

[C]

So excited.

[A]

Kippy, what do you got for him?

[B]

Guys, we're off the road for a little bit. We're working on the special. It's going to be dropping soon. Maybe. Or maybe not. I don't know. We love you, Carl.

[A]

You got Secret Keepers Club every week.

[C]

Yes, Secret Keepers Club every week. It's now on YouTube for the last few weeks.

[B]

Now on YouTube.

[C]

Last few weeks. Yeah. Yeah. YouTube.com Secretkeepers Club or Secret Keeper. Do I have to put the ad?

[B]

No, you're okay.

[C]

I don't know. I'm 77. WWW gang.

[A]

We love it. We'll see you next week. Peace.