Losing the Room w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Losing the Room" on Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Release Date: July 3, 2025
Episode Title: Losing the Room

---

Introduction to the Episode

In the episode titled "Losing the Room," hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley delve into a blend of personal anecdotes, humorous banter, and relatable life challenges. As regulars on the Are You Garbage? podcast—a comedic game show where comedians are humorously tested for their "garbage" traits—this episode continues their tradition of blending comedy with candid conversations.

Balancing Parenthood and Comedy

A significant portion of the episode centers around Kevin Ryan's experiences as a new parent. Both hosts openly discuss the challenges of balancing their comedic careers with the responsibilities of raising a child.

• Kevin Ryan on Parenthood:
  “[01:34] Kevin Ryan: I've been doing Goo Goo Gaga and fucking changing diapers. I'm fucking in the weeds over here.”

• H. Foley on Tiredness:
  “[08:13] H. Foley: I mean, I could barely get past myself. I don't know how you fucking do it.”

Their dialogue highlights the exhaustion and adjustments required when incorporating a newborn into their hectic schedules, resonating with listeners juggling similar responsibilities.

Side Work and Blue-Collar Reflections

The hosts engage in a humorous yet insightful discussion about side jobs and blue-collar work, reflecting on their own family backgrounds and societal perceptions of such professions.

• Kevin Ryan on Side Work:
  “[21:43] Kevin Ryan: We're doing side work. We got a stack of cash at the end of the day, like, how you do.”

• H. Foley on Blue-Collar Pride:
  “[23:00] H. Foley: It's a badge of honor at one point. We need to do side work.”

They humorously critique the notion of side jobs as a "bad line of work" while acknowledging the financial and personal strains these roles can impose. This conversation underscores a recurring theme of pride versus practicality in maintaining multiple income streams.

Interactions with the Public: "Are You Garbage?"

One of the standout moments involves a real-life interaction where a woman confronts Kevin Ryan about being "garbage," echoing the podcast’s recurring theme.

• Incident at a Fast Food Restaurant:
  “[29:25] Kevin Ryan: She goes, are you Kevin? I go screaming from the front door. I Go, yeah, you're doing like you're garbage.”

This encounter not only serves as a comedic highlight but also reinforces the show's playful premise of exposing the "garbage" in everyday situations.

Trashy Memorial Practices

The hosts explore the concept of "garbage" through unconventional and humorous memorial practices, reflecting on societal norms and personal sentiments.

• Kevin Ryan on Burying Relatives with Unusual Items:
  “[38:04] Kevin Ryan: She was tougher than 50 grit. Sandpaper. That might be the most tragic thing that anybody's ever submitted.”

• H. Foley on Sentimental Trash:
  “[39:34] Kevin Ryan: I have. We didn't bury him with anything, but there's a lot of... I had.”

Their exaggerated stories about burying loved ones with items like beer and cigarettes serve as comedic devices to discuss how unconventional practices can be perceived as "trashy," aligning with the podcast’s theme.

Health, Lifestyle, and Quirky Habits

Health and lifestyle choices provide another avenue for the hosts to inject humor while discussing serious topics like addiction and personal improvement.

• Diet Soda and Sweetness Debate:
  “[48:19] Kevin Ryan: I can't believe I never really thought of that.”
  “[54:08] H. Foley: She's too rich for me. What the fuck does that mean?”

The playful debate over diet soda consumption and the concept of something being "too sweet" not only entertains but also subtly touches on themes of self-control and health awareness.

Dealing with Household Issues: AC Failures and Pests

The episode also features light-hearted discussions about dealing with everyday household problems, such as air conditioning failures and pest control.

• AC and "Losing the Room" Metaphor:
  “[14:16] H. Foley: That sucks.”
  “[43:35] Kevin Ryan: Somebody call up Evan, see if you can fix the goddamn AC in here.”

• Pest Encounters:
  “[61:00] Kevin Ryan: The silverfish was not sleeping. That guy was cooking, squirming.”

These segments use humor to address the frustrations and absurdities of maintaining a household, making the conversation relatable for listeners facing similar issues.

Closing Thoughts and Reflections

As the episode wraps up, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley reflect on their personal growth, comedic journeys, and the importance of staying true to themselves despite the chaos of their personal and professional lives.

• Wrap-Up Banter:
  “[63:19] H. Foley: That's nuts. I would never.”
  “[63:29] Kevin Ryan: Peace.”

Their final exchanges maintain the show’s comedic tone while offering a sense of camaraderie and mutual support, leaving listeners with a feeling of connection and anticipation for future episodes.

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Notable Quotes:

• Kevin Ryan on Parenthood (01:34):
  “I've been doing Goo Goo Gaga and fucking changing diapers. I'm fucking in the weeds over here.”

• H. Foley on Side Work (23:00):
  “It's a badge of honor at one point. We need to do side work.”

• Incident at Fast Food (29:25):
  “She goes, are you Kevin? I go screaming from the front door. I Go, yeah, you're doing like you're garbage.”

• Diet Soda Debate (54:08):
  “She’s too rich for me. What the fuck does that mean?”

• AC Fix Needed (43:35):
  “Somebody call up Evan, see if you can fix the goddamn AC in here.”

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Conclusion

"Losing the Room" continues Are You Garbage?'s legacy of combining humor with authentic life stories. Through their playful yet insightful conversations, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley offer listeners a comedic take on everyday struggles, personal growth, and the fine line between being "classy" and "garbage." Whether navigating parenthood, side jobs, or unexpected public interactions, the hosts remain relatable and entertaining, embodying the show's unique blend of trashy comedy and heartfelt dialogue.

Transcript

[H. Foley]

Merch alert. Merch alert. Merch alert. Look out. Just in time for summer. Well, almost halfway through. Either way, we got some hot new teas coming at you, gang. You got Kippy's, King of the Birds.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, handyman services.

[H. Foley]

Look at that.

[Kevin Ryan]

We got Aunt Tooty's. Department of sanitation. Get involved. Join a union.

[H. Foley]

Let's go.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then Uncle Hank's Hot Dog.

[H. Foley]

Near and dear to my heart. Uncle Hank's Hot Dogs. Grab a little hot kids.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then the garbage university boom. Established 20 when we started the show. Available at all garbage.com limited supplies. Get a wade list. We love yous, Love yous.

[H. Foley]

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are you Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are you Garbage?

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[H. Foley]

It's our little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a good to be classy. Yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash. Garbage, I'm your host, H. Foley. Coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Toady's, the new edition. She unfortunately has another new case of athlete's foot. But don't ask me where it is. All right, My CO Is coming at you from across the table. This is what we call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies like to circle the wagons a little bit, check in, get everybody straightened out, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're like a bad fucking high school counselor, dude. Shut up.

[H. Foley]

Give it up for kj Kevin James Ryan.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, what's up? Everybody shout out to international businessman. Thanks for tuning in as always. Please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on itunes. You know what? Who even cares about itunes anymore? The real deal's over there on Spotify Video.

[H. Foley]

Talk about old news.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're cruising.

[H. Foley]

Might as well be a phonograph.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know that's. Dude, what it is.

[H. Foley]

The radio, baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

ITunes is. What's the company that had. That had Zoom before Zoom and dropped the ball. They were like. It was like the pandemic came and whatever you got. You know what I'm saying? Yikes. A clunk. Or after this, I got baby brain, dude. Spotify, obviously the greatest website of all time. WWE. Patreon.com Are you garbage? You go over there, you get up to two bajillion hours worth of content. That was my last. Last report. I got that money and. And Then obviously, guy, we're going back on the road. Come the fall and the summer, I'm putting the baby in his room, locking the door. We're going on the road. Kids are back sitting in a hot.

[H. Foley]

Car for a little while. Daddy's got to go bomb.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got to go do okay in Cleveland.

[H. Foley]

We're not Cleveland. We're just in Cleveland.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know.

[H. Foley]

Shout out to Hilarities.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Get your tickets. We. We love you, Chomp. This is the longest we've taken off the road. I'm chomping at a bit to get back out there, get on a road, get in a van, go with the boys. You know what I mean? I'm very excited.

[H. Foley]

Excited. Are we using the van for this?

[Kevin Ryan]

For what?

[H. Foley]

For the tour. What are we using the van for it, right?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Not everywhere, of course. I don't think it's making it to Seattle, but, you know, be cool if it did. I mean, we'll just rent a van at that point to pay Diesel to.

[H. Foley]

Drive, get some weed out there, bring my acoustic guitar, start the fucking scene back up, man. You get Sub Pop going again, you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Would in a heartbeat.

[H. Foley]

Remember at the end of Rockstar when he went and they were alluding to him, like, starting the grunge revolution?

[Kevin Ryan]

Is that what they did?

[H. Foley]

Pretty much.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen.

[H. Foley]

Or. He was getting into it. He had his hair cut short. He had his hair like Kurt Cobain's. He was in a coffee shop in Seattle with an acoustic guitar talking about his feelings.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't. I didn't read into that. And listen, really.

[H. Foley]

I love that last scene because then Jennifer Aniston comes in.

[Kevin Ryan]

I listen. I understand at her most.

[H. Foley]

Jennifer Aniston, she.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen. That was. I. Me and my boys used to watch that movie relatively unironically.

[H. Foley]

What do you mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean, what I mean? Not. I mean, it's a bad movie. It's a very bad.

[H. Foley]

I think you're crazy. I think it's a great movie.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

I mean, man, I've been really watching ironically. What are you talking about?

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean?

[H. Foley]

Caddy.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a bad movie.

[H. Foley]

How is that a bad movie?

[Kevin Ryan]

What's it got? I mean, give me some review. I think Rock star, she got panned. They cut her out of most of it. Aniston, what are you talking about? Listen, I'm not. I'm. First of all, you didn't produce the movie. Relax. I love the movie.

[H. Foley]

Means a lot to me.

[Kevin Ryan]

I can quote most of them. It means a lot to you?

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

You were fucking 42 when that thing came out. It means a lot to you. You were.

[H. Foley]

There's still hope for me. All I gotta do is be singing at some point. I don't know, Pipes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Don't, don't, don't, don't. Stand up and let it out.

[H. Foley]

I always identified with the.

[Kevin Ryan]

The wigs were bad. I mean, that everybody stone.

[H. Foley]

What are you talking about? It should have been up for an academy.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was Zack Wilde's acting debut.

[H. Foley]

Who's Zack Wilde?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't care what you do, Just keep your dick away from me. And you call yourself a fan of Rockstar? Wow. He was fucking melting faces on it. Had the whammy bar, all that shit.

[H. Foley]

How about the dude getting the blood transfusion right before the show? That's gonna be us.

[Kevin Ryan]

I love the girl who's doing that.

[H. Foley]

In Vermont in three years.

[Kevin Ryan]

Burlington, all hopped up on a weird pizza we ate, playing some small rock club.

[H. Foley]

Hang on a second. I got the fucking diffuser going back there. Quick transfusion. I'll be all right.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're sitting next to a couple, eating coffee, drinking coffee. It's not even like. It's not even a show. It's an open mic. Yeah, that was. I mean, that. That movie was, I think, at the time, panned. It's more of a cult classic. Cult classics typically aren't. It got generally positive reviews. Really?

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Generally positive reviews.

[Kevin Ryan]

Signed age Foley. The Google review users are saying 82% liked it. Rotten Tomatoes. There's multiple Rotten Tomatoes recently. It seems to be at 83, but it was hovering around 55, I believe, a while ago.

[H. Foley]

By the way, I wanted to tell you something.

[Kevin Ryan]

That wasn't his best movie.

[H. Foley]

Whose best movie? Wahlberg's. Wahlberg.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was Wahlberg in it. Is that Donnie?

[H. Foley]

Hey, greatness apart. What are you talking about?

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't say he. You said he had no good movies. Don't fucking put that X on me.

[H. Foley]

I didn't say that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, this guy did. The right of my mouth started. That guy's a poor big asshole.

[H. Foley]

Hey, listen, you're a young kid. I wanted to tell you something. You're really relying too much on this AI shit. You and the chatgpt and all this stuff the day I reviews. You're going to it too much.

[Kevin Ryan]

What are you relying on? I'm telling you, you're relying on feel. And buddy, you're off.

[H. Foley]

Old school instincts. I knew it was going to rain today. Three weeks ago.

[Kevin Ryan]

And cheesesteak egg rolls. Old school instincts. And an appetizer sampler.

[H. Foley]

Hey, you want to do something, you do it right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Let me get some of this grease in me. It's. Call me Foley. The almanac guy's cooking.

[H. Foley]

I'll tell you when it's gonna snow in three years.

[Kevin Ryan]

Guys, we're bankrupt. Season hunkered down. We got bugs.

[H. Foley]

I don't like those potato skins. I got a bad feeling about the.

[Kevin Ryan]

Start the car. We got to get the hell out of here. Locust. As far as the eye can see, man.

[H. Foley]

A guy that can predict the future only when he eats.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm gonna either side of marinara stat.

[H. Foley]

See if I can save the world.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, God.

[H. Foley]

Anyway, watch it, all right? You're getting too caught up in it. You're going to this guy for everything. Next thing are you gonna be in here making out with a AI robot after I get a piece. What? Are they coming?

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure that I think they're here already.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Not realistic. I want. Someone's gonna bitch at me. I bust on my balls anyway, huh? Sidetracked. I apologize.

[Kevin Ryan]

For what?

[H. Foley]

I don't know. I haven't seen you in a couple of days.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't like your squirrely. Get squirrely. I'd. Listen. I've been. I've been. I haven't talked to an adult. I've been doing Goo Goo Gaga and fucking changing diapers. I'm fucking in the weeds over here.

[H. Foley]

How tired are you?

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, I was up today because it.

[H. Foley]

Seems like you've broken through it and shout out to all the parents out there. I don't know how you fucking do it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Give it up for the troops. What are you doing? Just saying where are my teachers at? Huh?

[H. Foley]

I mean, I could barely get past myself.

[Kevin Ryan]

Buddy, you've.

[H. Foley]

I'm not.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. You shouldn't be in charge of yourself. If it was up to me, I'd say I'd have a. Have the government step in.

[H. Foley]

So what I'm saying is I was.

[Kevin Ryan]

Up from 1 to 5:30 today. So after I went back to bed at 5:30 for about 90 minutes, I had to get on and I'm up and then I'm here and someone was late today. So I'm sorry if I had a little bit of a fucking dude.

[H. Foley]

But it's been over a week. So if you like been over a week with the baby or two weeks, whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's been three weeks.

[H. Foley]

Three weeks. So have you gone through it? Like, are you. Are you.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[H. Foley]

Have you broken past the tiredness is what I'm asking.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're just. It becomes. I listen. I Don't. I hate being the guy. Let me. I'm not. I'm not that guy. Didn't like that guy when I wasn't. When I was childless, when I was barren. I'm barren.

[H. Foley]

Stale womb.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's just. You're just forever tired. I don't think your brain ever chemically gets back to what it was prior to delivery.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I don't like that. See, I'm a little bit tired.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm. Buddy, you're tired.

[H. Foley]

I'm a little bit tired right now.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know if you've talked to yourself. You're tired. Looking at you, I'm tired.

[H. Foley]

You're old. You're old and tired.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're just. And then the sad thing. Not the sad thing, the scary thing is you're like, oh, there is a. No, there's. The lifeboat ain't coming to get you.

[H. Foley]

That sucks.

[Kevin Ryan]

They burned the boats. You're out there.

[H. Foley]

That's.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're just out there to. The kid turns fucking 16 or something. Figures out his wee wee.

[H. Foley]

If you wanted to get eight hours somewhere, what would you have to do?

[Kevin Ryan]

Fucking go to Fallujah or something? Eight hours. I got to go for smokes, if you catch my drift. Yeah, eight hours ain't. That's.

[H. Foley]

Forget it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nah. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You have to be on the road.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Would have been nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

Luke, get the fucking suits on the phone. Let's go to fucking Tuscaloosa or something. Book that coffee shop.

[H. Foley]

Can't sell that market.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sleepy Time tour.

[H. Foley]

That's pretty good.

[Kevin Ryan]

The sack time tour. Get some shut eye.

[H. Foley]

Shut eye. Two city tour.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, man. Yeah, it's tough. You're just in it, you know? Um. Yeah. Trashy, trashy parents.

[H. Foley]

I like that. You had the baby in the summer. Can I say that?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. It wasn't a choice.

[H. Foley]

I know. I don't know why. Just that feels like it has like a 70s old school vibe to me. You know what I mean? Having the baby in the summer.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Okay, now, newborn baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was alive in the 70s. I don't understand the babies feel.

[H. Foley]

And I wasn't alive in the 70s, either.

[Kevin Ryan]

I. Listen, just because you don't understand what you're talking about doesn't mean I do either.

[H. Foley]

I can't just. Maybe it's like that 70s show vibe. I don't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's no babies in that show.

[H. Foley]

You're missing the point.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm. We're talking about babies.

[H. Foley]

I can't talk to this guy. Chat. Gtpm.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, whatever. All that's neither here Nor there. We gotta. We gotta get into it. We got a gosh darn family episode, gang, as you know, when you join the old Patreon A over there, the world's greatest website, you get your garbage question answered on the air. And we got 1, 2, 3 heaters coming.

[H. Foley]

Talk to me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Being a summertime 70s bingo.

[H. Foley]

There you go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Summertime babies. This is from Evan G. $10 groupie. Is it garbage to work as an H vac tech but tell people you work in sales so nobody asks you to fix their AC during a heat wave? That is checkers, baby. That guy's going, I don't want no side work. I don't need no side work. Don't call me.

[H. Foley]

I know, but that's living a double lifer. That's a real long play.

[Kevin Ryan]

I listen, I did it. I talked about last. Whatever. Last week it was the fuck my 8. My power went out, my AC was down. I called my brother right away.

[H. Foley]

Oh, really?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Well, I mean, like, see, that's you. No, but I call. We couldn't get anybody out that day.

[H. Foley]

What's he gonna do, get off the couch and come over? What are you expecting him to come over and fix it?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, sends a guy who knows who I send a guy who knows what he's doing. Over. All right, let me, let me. I got fucking Mike on the line. Mike's. Mikey's on his way. My uncle Mike's on. I should have called my uncle Mike.

[H. Foley]

Did he come over?

[Kevin Ryan]

Uncle Mike too?

[H. Foley]

Did your brother send somebody over?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, he was watching a movie or something. I really couldn't get his attention.

[H. Foley]

I got Rockstar.

[Kevin Ryan]

He was watching. No, this is. Whatever this is. Like two weeks ago, my. My cousin Quinn Sullivan was playing in the men's national team. And shout out to the Sullivan boys, he was watching that. And I'm like, yeah, dude, there's no power. I got a baby. The. It's 98 degrees upstairs. And he's like, oh, cross it, cross it. I'm like, I'll talk to you later. Jamming me up over here.

[H. Foley]

It's funny. Yeah, I get that though.

[Kevin Ryan]

100%.

[H. Foley]

Man, I wonder how far out, like, how far out do you go with that? You know what I mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

I think.

[H. Foley]

Are you not telling your cousins?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it's probably inbound of like.

[H. Foley]

Oh, Gary, tell me you were a doctor. I had you feel my testicles last.

[Kevin Ryan]

Week without a Freon. Could use the charge, if you catch my drift. Top it off with some R22. Dropping all my H vac Keywords. I heard my dad say these puppies got a fuse. This room's got a name. This bullset got a negative pressure. Once you. That that and always heard once you lose a room, you lose a room.

[H. Foley]

What do you mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

Like, once the AC is off.

[H. Foley]

Huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

And you're like, oh, it's a bro. You turn it on or whatever. It's not what should on paper. Takes four hours to cool down. It's gonna take two days to get down to temperature. The AC can't. If it's a hundred degrees in the room.

[H. Foley]

Right.

[Kevin Ryan]

The a. You set it to 70. To get to that 70 is gonna take fucking gotcha. And it's not gonna get there.

[H. Foley]

So he's saying, like, be preventatively on top of keeping.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. If you lose the room and the room gets to 92 degrees, not because Buddy, go get a hotel room. You ain't. You ain't. You ain't putting. You ain't pulling. You know, once you lose a room, once you lie. You lost my dad. Go. You lost the room.

[H. Foley]

I thought you meant like in conversation.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what you do.

[H. Foley]

Because I've done that. I'm never getting this.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, Gary, it's me.

[H. Foley]

I've had that feeling where I've blown it in conversation.

[Kevin Ryan]

Buddy, you blow most conversations I have with you. Talk about losing a room.

[H. Foley]

Once you lose a room, you lose a room. Keep moving and start over.

[Kevin Ryan]

Your dad was bad with people too.

[H. Foley]

Oh, man. And I know why. Obviously, because once you lose a room. I was gonna say is I know why that the, you know, ACs go down so much when there's a heat wave. Because they're overworking.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure, of course.

[H. Foley]

But, man, is there anything worse than that?

[Kevin Ryan]

I just had it. It sucks. It's like genuinely. You feel like you're in the goddamn Sahara. You got no. There's no.

[H. Foley]

And I feel like that happens more than the heat going out when it's really cold outside.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

You know what happens when it's really cold outside? Pipes start bursting.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that was. That's always the big bad news. Pipers pipe burst.

[H. Foley]

We were moving into our apartment. It was a pretty. There was like a week or was a really cold snap.

[Kevin Ryan]

Cold snap.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, cold snap.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's your mom, dude. You're turning into your mind as a freaking cold snap out there.

[H. Foley]

Goddamn clipper coming in. Some pipe burst.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, I forgot to tell you. Your mom messaged me. What? Yeah, your mom congratulated me, but at the same time, on you, it was perfect.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Cherish it now, because when they grow up to be teenagers and they get real fat, you know, she didn't. She didn't say that, but she was trashing her kids. I. I. Mainly you, I believe. I was like, I didn't have to drag him into it. But while we're at it, I got it. One, two, three things I want to get off my chest.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, you talked to him today.

[Kevin Ryan]

If you hear from him, let me know.

[H. Foley]

He's ducking me, man, when that starts up.

[Kevin Ryan]

And, yeah, you're jammed up with. Me and Patty are looking for you. You're in bad shape.

[H. Foley]

Bad shape. Not that I'm in great shape. I said I'm right about there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right about where? You too.

[H. Foley]

You seen him?

[Kevin Ryan]

Nah, man.

[H. Foley]

If you two gotten cahoots.

[Kevin Ryan]

We have been once. It was. It's in the. It's in the text message. Sure. Yeah, sure.

[H. Foley]

It's in the text message.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was. I didn't know who it was. I never. Number saved. And I had to do the math with. I'm like, who's being this big of a. It was something like, you really need to talk to him or something.

[H. Foley]

I would have thought the tasteless nudes charred your memory.

[Kevin Ryan]

She left her face out of it. If.

[H. Foley]

Covers her face with the cell phone.

[Kevin Ryan]

Respect the move, Kim.

[H. Foley]

Let's talk about Square.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ooh, shout out to that Square gang.

[H. Foley]

Nothing worse than a. Than a bumpy checkout.

[Kevin Ryan]

It'll make me want to. Whatever I'm buying, I go, you know what? Screw this. I'm out of there.

[H. Foley]

Listen, we got a lot of hustlers out there, a lot of guys starting side projects and all that stuff. Dude, do yourself a favor. Get Square. It's the easiest checkout in the world. We use it on the road, but bing, bang, boom. The signal's always great. It's absolutely fantastic. They feel like a real company using that.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got to the point of sale system. Listen, we're on the road. We're selling merch. If you've been to a live show, the meet and greet line, the ticket, whatever you're fucking. Boop, boop, boop. You sweep, you bop, you're in and out. It's fantastic.

[H. Foley]

When I saw that at the merch table, I was like, man, we're really doing it here.

[Kevin Ryan]

It tracks everything. It tracks your inventory. Square supports all major credit card and payment methods, including contactless options like Apple Pay and Google Payments. Checkout is fast and easy for all customers. Baby, here is the turkey. Square keeps up so you don't have to slow down. What a slogan. Get everything you need to run your business without any long term commitments. And why wait? Right now you can sign up for $200 off Square Hardware at square.com. go garbage. That's square sq u a r e dot com. Go slash garbage. Run your business smarter with square. Get started today, Kim.

[H. Foley]

Let's talk about thrive.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to Thrive Market gang.

[H. Foley]

You want to get the best snacks in the world? The best clean snacks in the world. Do yourself a favor, get over to Thrive Market gang. Summer stock up without the markup. We're talking about snacks for the road. Clean snacks for the road. Talking about barbecue sauce. Thrive Market is our go to for summer grocery items. Do yourself a favor, get over there. I'm talking primal kitchen. I'm talking even clean wine. Clean wine. All delivered straight to your door without the fancy price tag that you get when you go out to an actual market.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes, they got, I mean if you're not familiar, they got high protein snacks. They got clean label stuff for your house, for your kids. They have the kid friendly swaps that make grocery shopping feel like a win. Baby. If you're whatever you're looking for, everybody's got something going on. Sometimes you're gluten free. You're looking for gluten free buns for a barbecue, seed oil free chips, some seed oils. That's bad news.

[H. Foley]

Get out of there with them seed oils.

[Kevin Ryan]

They got low sugar treats. Whatever you need. Thrive has you. I mean they sent a box over here, attacked it like we, I mean like wolves. Like we were storming a beach, baby. We were always shredding it.

[H. Foley]

Fantastic.

[Kevin Ryan]

They had these chip type things that, I mean I was like, oh, let me die a little hunger one. Next thing you know, I was all blackout.

[H. Foley]

I went, those corn chips are four.

[Kevin Ryan]

Bags of them johns. So stock up this summer smart with Thrive Mar. Thrive market. Go to thrivemarket.com garbage to get 30% off your first order plus a free $60 gift for just signing up.

[H. Foley]

There you go.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's thrive market.com garbage thrivemarket.com garbage do it. All right, let's see here. On the same. And this is in the same world. This from Adam H. This is a good one. Is it garbage to say I'm in the wrong line of work? When someone tells you how much they make for something. Ah, I'm in a wrong line of work. I'll tell you that. That was always real big with blue collar family. We knew. I knew what all of the, all the unions made the Crane operators, that was a good that and the electricians, I think got the most hourly. They make 98. I was dropping out at like 8 years old. The money you're making, the money you're making. Overtime, the benefits.

[H. Foley]

Crane operators are like astronauts.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. I know a couple of them.

[H. Foley]

I'm aware, sure. But on paper, sure. It's like, what is this?

[Kevin Ryan]

Most of them are on purges.

[H. Foley]

This guy doing open heart surgery, well, they're strict with that shit. So you really gotta get me what.

[Kevin Ryan]

I give me what an operator a crane operator makes in New York. And then that was always a thing in Philly. It was like, yeah, they make $62 an hour, 44 minutes. Makes $45 an hour in New York.

[H. Foley]

I heard they make $80,000 sitting there half the time. Yeah, but when you're on, man, talk.

[Kevin Ryan]

About the pressure also, man. One of them things goes down.

[H. Foley]

Oh, fuck that.

[Kevin Ryan]

You fucking fuck up your die street.

[H. Foley]

And you're never getting out of that fucking traffic.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, dude. You end up on an episode of Law and Order.

[H. Foley]

Those things go. God love you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Median salary is about 65 across the U.S. but experienced crane operators in New York make about 120 annually.

[H. Foley]

Talk to me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Plus overtime. And that's good, Benny?

[H. Foley]

Oh, yeah, and they're milking the overtime. I don't start till after 5 o' clock. You talking about. Yeah, it's like one of those. It's like, you know, it's like a stockbroker. Like you're sitting around most of the day, then when it's go time, it's go time. But you're dealing with fucking well that hundreds of tons of stuff in people's lives.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. That's also a very blue collar thing I get with my family now that we've experienced some success is the only thing they know is like what you earn. Like that's what like they can't wrap their head around. I come in here, we talk about our fake amp. Like they can't. You know what I mean? So they go, we get for a gig like that. You know what I mean? That kind of stuff do good over there. You do good.

[H. Foley]

They pay you for something like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. So how's that work? How you do that? Yeah, you got. What's a Patreon? That the thing Michael signed up for?

[H. Foley]

You know Michael signed up for it against the army.

[Kevin Ryan]

My cousin hit me. Was that the thing? He's freaking signed. He got three accounts. Shout out to Brendan's got three different accounts. He keeps Losing his password. Sucker. His wife was like, is that the thing he signed up for all the time? Yeah. That's like. That's a way of blue collar dad. Like. Yeah, to my dad and my stepdad plants the way. But.

[H. Foley]

But that's a very. Walking out of Wawa. Seeing somebody's car and being like, oh, you do.

[Kevin Ryan]

I saw, like, yeah, I saw a.

[H. Foley]

Guy, man, I'm in the wrong line of work.

[Kevin Ryan]

He said it to him, huh? Yeah, I've seen that at a waba. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

Having a wrong line of work.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. Painting. Huh? The wrong line of work.

[H. Foley]

And it's good money if you can get it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember my dad was so anti side work.

[H. Foley]

Why?

[Kevin Ryan]

Because he ran a business. He's like, I'm not doing that. He's the only. He was the owner of the company.

[H. Foley]

He didn't want to be. Thought it was beneath.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was lowly man. It was. That was. That was serviceman. That was worker. Not.

[H. Foley]

He felt like he had gotten to.

[Kevin Ryan]

A point where he didn't need to do side work. Yeah, but we. A badge of honor at one point. We need to do side work. Sure. We're out doing side work.

[H. Foley]

I need to do side work right now.

[Kevin Ryan]

Have you guys got any. If you guys got any side comedy.

[H. Foley]

Projects, I'll come over and do crowd work. Saturday, Sundays, whatever you want.

[Kevin Ryan]

Talk about losing a room. Talk about ruining Sunday.

[H. Foley]

Hey, these kids of yours, they got no attention span.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mind if I throw a load of whites in?

[H. Foley]

I'm in between places right now.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's a shower. Sit here. Can I catch a hot one?

[H. Foley]

Oh, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is that eucalyptus I smell? That's nice.

[H. Foley]

Something smells good. You guys got dinner coming.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's noon.

[H. Foley]

We're not cooking anything. It still smells good.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's good. Homie, you probably throw down in the kitchen, huh? Mrs. Oh, my. Calling her mom. And man, you stink.

[H. Foley]

I do? Ah, it's too funny.

[Kevin Ryan]

Talk about losing our food here. They're soaking up all the amenities. It's just cow. This is over with the recliner and a charger in it.

[H. Foley]

What's that? YouTube TV. I guess it'll be all right.

[Kevin Ryan]

No HBO.

[H. Foley]

Like, not even a channel.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're like Kramer when he's with the karate class and they're in the car. Can we stop for ice cream? Yeah. Oh, man, you stink, man. What was that question? Oh, side work. Oh, and then I remember that we did it. We were. This is 20. Whatever years ago. We were doing side work and we. You got. We got a good amount of cash that day because we were doing homes or whatever. And he was like, man, I was trashing these for years doing side work. That guy's got a shorthouse. I don't. I mean, because I was like, oh, you fixed. We, you know, we ran through a neighborhood, fixed whatever, and gotta, you know, we had a stack of cash at the end of the day, like, how you do.

[H. Foley]

Oh, man, that guy was a bozo. See that car?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's.

[H. Foley]

I'm gonna run out of work.

[Kevin Ryan]

I did it today. I stopped by Starbucks, I got my egg bites, and I walk out, I saw a guy in a Range Rover. What the hell does he think he does? Like, in my head, I really thought, you're not. You're not better than me is what I. I started fighting him in my head. Guy's a. He probably never did side work, this guy. But, yeah, you have that. You the. The analysis of, like, I look a guy up and down, go, can I fight him? Probably not. I mean, I could fight him. I lose. And what's he do? You know what I mean? House like that. I remember we pulled up, dude, my buddy's dad was like. My buddy's dad was in construction. Big, big house, Big new month. Like, new money as far as the eye could see. Yeah, fucking Mercedes.

[H. Foley]

Why did it. Why was that always the case?

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, I've lived it. These blue collar guys get a run, right? They're smart. It was the 80s and 90s, contracts, money was cooking.

[H. Foley]

But yeah, it had to be a quick influx of a large amount of cash.

[Kevin Ryan]

And it's like, they're like athletes. They think that's gonna. That's gonna be forever. Then the economy goes down. These guys never had money. They don't know how to manage money. They're overextended. Side work, sorry. Through my neck out, baby burping. The baby threw my neck out. They're overextended. And then it dry. You get one or two bad year, you're walking such a tightrope that it goes.

[H. Foley]

Would you want it any other way, though?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Live on the edge of the knife, baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

Um. I've lived though my whole life has been fucking walking that tightrope. I'm done with it.

[H. Foley]

But I have to say, they were always the most interesting dads, though.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember my stepdad pulled up and he dropped me off. First time he had been to the house. I mean, it wasn't. It was like one of those McMansion houses, but like, you know, all like the lights, the fucking. It wasn't like, they had redone everything. The big.

[H. Foley]

Your house.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're at my buddy's house. My stepdad's dropping me off at my buddy's house.

[H. Foley]

Got you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who's like. They got the glass backboard, basketball net and the BMW, the Mercedes, the Christmas.

[H. Foley]

Tree lights probably over the top.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just everything fucking nutso. And he goes, what's he do for a living? I went construction. I go. I go, what's he do for a living? Rob banks. My stepdad, Dickens. Like, I ain't fucking got this much. What the fuck is this motherfucker doing?

[H. Foley]

He's conservative with his money, and he.

[Kevin Ryan]

Goes, what's he doing? Rob banks. I went construction. He went, okay. I was like.

[H. Foley]

And then like, two years, interest rates spike up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, two years. He was. He was into upside down in a mortgage that. He had a fucking home equity line, man. Yeah, well, I mean, my. My family did the same fucking thing.

[H. Foley]

They were always the funnest dads, though. And all of a sudden, it dried up quick. That new couch has been there for, like, 15 years.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Good stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember it got bad when we stopped. Like, we stopped changing the. The pictures. Our class pictures were on the mantle, like, every year. It'd be like, my second grade, my third grade, my fourth. The last one up was, like, my fifth grade. I'd be going over. I was like, 25. I was sitting in a Notre Dame shirt with a bowl cut, just like, ma' am. Priorities. You know what I mean? We don't have time to worry about the pictures on a mantle. We're in the weeds over here.

[H. Foley]

That's a tough look. Yeah, that's funny. Dust all the cobwebs.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just like you open up the pantry. Or broken dishes. Yes sale Triscuits or something. All right, this one's from King Optimo 08. Is it garbage to play old episodes of the Boys over the speakers at work when the boss leaves and then customers come in. And when I'm listening, they go, the bug man and Mr. Neptune met a couple of homies and bozos this way.

[H. Foley]

Shout out to you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to the fucking. I didn't tell.

[H. Foley]

Spreading the word.

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't tell you. I was. I was out there in the burbs. I mean, you know, small town. And this old couple. I'm talking late 60s, blue collar is. You know. She goes, are you. I'm getting my haircut. I'm in the back. And she goes, are you, Kevin? I go screaming from the front door. I Go, yeah, you doing like you're garbage. I got. Yeah, I'm gone. Garbage. She goes, and then she hit me with.

[H. Foley]

Your lights are on.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what I thought. I thought I was like double parked or so. I thought they were towing my car. I parked in the wrong lot. I thought they were telling my. She's like, you're Kevin. I'm like, yeah. She's like, hey, you're garbage. Like, oh yeah. I'm like, you watch. This is crazy. It's like she looked like Toddy. I'm like, this is crazy. So he's a guy. He looks like a welder. He's like, how you doing, big mid. He's going, he didn't want to. She was causing a scene. He didn't like, hey. And she hit me with. She hit me with a great line. I gotta get with her. She's. She's listening to this. She hit me with a. She goes, I'll see you around. I go, all right, I'll see you. She goes, I'll see you Sunday for the new episode.

[H. Foley]

I'll see you Sunday.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'll see you Sunday for the new episode.

[H. Foley]

Shout out to it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Gotta love it. They're out there. The homies of the bozos are all walks of life, baby.

[H. Foley]

Garbage. Bringing families together, multi generational or breaking them up. Well, do as I say.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. And we're back. Talk about losing a room.

[H. Foley]

I drive the lifeboat, not in it. My sacrifice is your salvation. How about that?

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. Is that what you're telling yourself? This one's from the Teddy Tickler. This I. This I have to respect. $10 homie on the street asking for a question from a Reddit homie. So he's subbing out his. His Patreon, okay. To and to a bozo to get the question read.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha.

[Kevin Ryan]

Does that make sense?

[H. Foley]

He's going to somebody on Reddit to get a good garbage question?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. I think someone had to get. He goes, you know what? I'll use my. I think it's that he saw the good question was like, I'll use my. My. I'll use my question for your question. Ah, his opportunity.

[H. Foley]

I like it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Use. Ever go snorkeling in a lake? That's your jam the fuck up. If you're snorkeling in, you got to be snorkeling in the ocean. It's got to be clear.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, but first of all, I've never gone snorkeling until last year.

[Kevin Ryan]

Have you ever been in a lake? Yeah, we tried getting in.

[H. Foley]

I've been in a lake with you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Where?

[H. Foley]

I don't know. We went camping. Oh, yeah, something.

[Kevin Ryan]

He didn't go in.

[H. Foley]

Yes, I did think he did. Of course I did.

[Kevin Ryan]

We got footage of that.

[H. Foley]

I went in. Dog.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember going, just come in.

[H. Foley]

No, I did. It was somebody else. Wasn't me. I get in, I get in, I get out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Luke doesn't like the water. No, it doesn't like the water. He's like a. You're like a cat. I get in sometimes, though.

[H. Foley]

He stinks. That's it. That's. That genuinely is the only thing about you that bothers me. I get no swim.

[Kevin Ryan]

That and he don't like. You don't like seafood.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, but I'm used to that. Bunch of stiffs around.

[Kevin Ryan]

Crew vibe.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. It really is what I eat.

[Kevin Ryan]

Seafood. I'm sorry, I don't eat. I don't guzzle oysters at. At breakfast. I apologize. I don't eat that at your rate and speed.

[H. Foley]

Eat oysters on my back like a beaver.

[Kevin Ryan]

The hell of a dam you built there, big guy.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, it took me 20 minutes.

[Kevin Ryan]

I ate that really expensive tuna you guys bought. Where? Three Forks in Austin.

[H. Foley]

Tuna.

[Kevin Ryan]

Three Forks. Oh, is that the place we went all fucked up?

[H. Foley]

I don't remember that. Remember to check.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's a picture of me floating around with a Martin with a. With a Manhattan and a backwards Dale Earnard. Add on in a Carhartt jacket. And like, there's people in, like, suits behind me. And someone's like, kippy, you did not belong in that place.

[H. Foley]

I had a thing not that long ago. I don't know if I told you about it on Patreon, but there was. I was out to dinner and there was like, there was two. Two young couples sitting next to me, and they were a little drunk and they were real loud, like, talking loud and annoying. And, like, I wanted to be mad at them. And, like, I was like, I want to be like, shut the fuck up. But then in my head, I thought about that three forks incident.

[Kevin Ryan]

But that was us.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. We must have annoyed the shit out of people.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Especially being in our 30s and 40s, not young kids.

[Kevin Ryan]

50S. Yeah, I mean, we were. I'd apologize. Cypr and I apologize.

[H. Foley]

You should get the wagyu.

[Kevin Ryan]

I apologize. Thinking it was funny. I thought I was being funny. I'm talking about misreading the room. I thought, they get hot in here. All of a sudden I'm like, I'm sorry about my son. Jerk off the Guy's like, what? The woman's like clutching her pearls.

[H. Foley]

You have children? Actually, I do now.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ma' am. All right. Let's see here. This one's from Uncle Boobs. New homie. Never have one Red. Are you garbage if when you were a kid, your mom would blow cigarette smoke in your ear to cure an ear infection. That. Listen, I'm not saying that didn't happen. I'm not saying that did or didn't happen to me. That could have happened to me. That is in the realm of. Like. We were big on whiskey for toothaches.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that's different.

[Kevin Ryan]

We were. I know. I don't. I don't think so. I would argue it's worse than blowing cigarette. It's not going in your body, though. You know what I mean? The. You're. The fucking. What you want is going in here. The.

[H. Foley]

I could see the medical logic. The.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what I'm saying.

[H. Foley]

Early 18th century medical logic behind it is that hot air is going in that's going to dry out whatever it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is or fucking toxins in there. You know?

[H. Foley]

And by the way, just a step back. I've been going in lakes and ponds my whole life. I don't love them because they're creepy. If you're. If you're snorkeling in a lake, you're looking for something that's gross, you better have an Instagram channel where you find weird shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

We gotta get you into magnet fishing.

[H. Foley]

I say. I keep seeing duds.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean?

[H. Foley]

They don't get anything good. If I was pulling up a safe every time, I'd be in. I'm not going out to some fucking canal in Holland. Fucking wasting my times for some bike.

[Kevin Ryan]

How you doing? All the way over there.

[H. Foley]

That's where they do it.

[Kevin Ryan]

You can do it here.

[H. Foley]

It's not old enough.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's not. I mean, what are you looking for?

[H. Foley]

I don't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did he do it here? Some jewelry, gold grill, a Paul Walker.

[H. Foley]

I don't want to pull up a RPG or some shotgun.

[Kevin Ryan]

What are you talking.

[H. Foley]

I don't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

Where are you? You're pulling up an rpg.

[H. Foley]

I don't want to pull up some shotgun. Frank Sheer and use the whack whoever in 1940. Then all of a sudden, I got the guys from Philly in the Greek mob looking for me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Someone's been watching the Irishman.

[H. Foley]

I actually haven't away from my Netflix right now. What do I miss?

[Kevin Ryan]

If somebody. If somebody's got a password out there, I'll Let you.

[H. Foley]

Almost a perfect movie. The Irishman.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did you see the guy from the live show in Cleveland? We asked him what he did. He was a window washer. I was like, oh, like you do the. Are you. Like you do the Instagram? And he's like, nah. I go, what are you doing? Fucking do it. Did it. It's getting millions of views.

[H. Foley]

Shut the fuck up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I swear to God, he's hit me up because I just broke a million views.

[H. Foley]

Piece of that.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what I said. Let me wet my beak. Fuck.

[H. Foley]

That's awesome.

[Kevin Ryan]

Monetization.

[H. Foley]

Look at that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I go, you make good money. Shit. I'm out on the wrong line of work. You did a window washing.

[H. Foley]

What are you doing? Robbing banks? That's awesome. Love to see that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Cleveland washer or something like that. Comment. Let the. Let make sure the homies and bozos follow you.

[H. Foley]

Very nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

At Capella University, learning online doesn't mean learning alone. You'll get support from people who care about your success, like your enrollment counselor, who gets to know you and the goals you'd like to achieve. You'll also get a designated academic coach who's with you throughout your entire program. Plus, career coaches are available to help.

[H. Foley]

You navigate your professional goals.

[Kevin Ryan]

A different future is closer than you think with Capella University. Learn more at Capella. Edu. All right, let's see here. This one. This is a great name. This is from Gleek. Blorp side piece.

[H. Foley]

You had me at Glee.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is it garbage to bury your great aunt with a six pack of Bud Heavies and a pack of straws and a carton of heaters when she died at age 97?

[H. Foley]

Pack of straws.

[Kevin Ryan]

Those old broads used to drink it out of straws.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

She was tougher than 50 grit. Sandpaper. That might be the most tragic thing that anybody's ever submitted. She's tougher than 50 grit. Hypothetically, is it trashier than to go six years later, dig them up with your high school buddies and that was your first beer and your first heater you ever had?

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

What he said. Recently found out on my birthday that my wife was pregnant and my first child and the first person I thought it was Kippy. Yay. There you go. Thanks for the great pod. Love yous.

[H. Foley]

Wait, so they didn't bury it in the casket with her? They buried it on top?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. Maybe laid it on top at the. You like. You go lay the thing. Maybe they put it on top.

[H. Foley]

Whoa.

[Kevin Ryan]

Maybe they did it like. Like they buried her like the dog in the backyard. And it wasn't that. It was a shallow grave.

[H. Foley]

Grave robbing for beers, which.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's like you can't get your hands on beer. You got to get a shovel.

[H. Foley]

Like smoke.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's got to be a bar of steal from someone's parents. Listen, if you're, if your nana maybe.

[H. Foley]

The sentimentalness of it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who wants what? Nana's old beard also, then. Listen, I was a skunk dog. I love. I left heaters out overnight, not to mention underground for six years. Them things are. Those things are Got spiders on them. They've got spider eggs all over them.

[H. Foley]

Jesus. Although burying people with stuff, you know, trashier items as I get older, I get the sentimental.

[Kevin Ryan]

I get the. I, I, I get that for sure. We're, you know, my stepdad's a big race car guy, so we'll do. We didn't bury him with anything, but there's a lot of.

[H. Foley]

Get the helmet in the church.

[Kevin Ryan]

Helmet. Yeah. Had the helmet of the church, which is trashy. I forgot about that. I had. That never clicked until just then when.

[H. Foley]

I walked in, somebody behind me said, is that a race car?

[Kevin Ryan]

Is Dale Jr. Here? Yeah, that was in the. That was right in the middle.

[H. Foley]

Dude. That was. That was sitting in the middle of the aisle in a, In a Catholic church. Like it was the Eucharist.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was, it was the first thing. It was right when you had a.

[H. Foley]

Light shining on it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I never thought that was trashy.

[H. Foley]

Are you serious?

[Kevin Ryan]

I was mourning. I have.

[H. Foley]

It was on like a Roman.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was. It was on what they put the gifts, like the offerings on. It was what they put. It was the table they put. It was the holy table or whatever.

[H. Foley]

There should have been like a bust of David or something like that on top of it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it was where, like said it was. Mean Joe Kelly never finished above eighth in his life. I'm kidding. Buck. I love you.

[H. Foley]

Put you in the wall.

[Kevin Ryan]

Guy was defensive, I'll tell you that much. If he didn't get you in turn four, he'd get you in the pits.

[H. Foley]

Little hit and run action.

[Kevin Ryan]

They get you in a parking lot, shoot the fade with him.

[H. Foley]

He's still in the. He's still in the race car. He's driving it home, guys. Driving down the street in his pickup truck after the race. All of a sudden, here comes old Buck.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're amateurs, man. Relax. Guy's freaky. Guy's got his kids in the car. Stepdad's fucking trading, painting, Robin's racing that Was my favorite. You know, let me see if you can get. If we can get your hands on these. There was a set of NASCAR lighters. They were wrapped. You know how like they would wrap. Like, they were just like regular Bix, like the clear crack head lighters. But they were wrapped with nas. They were NASCAR branded and they all had sayings on them. Trading paint, rubbins, racing, like all this kind of stuff.

[H. Foley]

Wait, Bic or the other ones. Clear is not Bic.

[Kevin Ryan]

It wasn't shitty. They weren't big. Yeah, they were like the crackhead lighters, right? I don't know. They were NASCAR lighters from the 90s and he had them and I had one of them. They were like checkered flagged. I would get my hands on them. Sentimental to me. Leave him at his grave site.

[H. Foley]

That would be a bad prank or something like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

Just get a. You have to be under certain situation, certain conditions. But if you were just driving in your car and all of a sudden a NASCAR car came up next to you and started fucking climbing in here.

[Kevin Ryan]

Fucking leave that to the professionals. What? We used to do that anytime. You know, we lost a lot of. A lot of young men in high school. And the big thing was always going to the grave on the birthday and like smoking a blunt or having a 40. A lot of hypnotic. A lot of bottle of Henny, leaving a blunt for him. Or you know what?

[H. Foley]

He would have won it.

[Kevin Ryan]

So what do you want me to get? All right, people are dropping in the penjamins now in the graves. Oh, right.

[H. Foley]

Like taking the pen with you. Yeah, the vape pen.

[Kevin Ryan]

The weed pen?

[H. Foley]

Yeah, weed pen.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did you get anything on these lighters? I'm looking. NASCAR lighters, 90s. They'll be on ebay. If so, place a bid or find a buy now price for the boy.

[H. Foley]

I never trust ebay. I feel like it's a closed store. They're still operating.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean, a closed store? I feel like if you go into ebay.

[H. Foley]

No, I see it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I see it like the website. Are we talking about a store now? The website, yes.

[H. Foley]

And like, if I type in, I don't know, Star wars toys, ebay comes up. I just assume that that's an old picture and that that person is dead around.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, quite the opposite.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I got a.

[H. Foley]

Still popping.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got all your Christmas gifts on ebay. Yeah, yeah. No, ebay is the real deal. Holyfield.

[H. Foley]

Warming up in here.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, you ain't lying. Talk about a heat wave. Somebody call up Evan, see if you can fix the goddamn AC in here. He's in sales, Losing the room. All right.

[H. Foley]

Been a few days though.

[Kevin Ryan]

Let's see here. This one's from Cody. Cheyenne, That's a name. Have you ever used a lighter to fix a shoelace? That I can't believe we've never talked about.

[H. Foley]

I have.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. For sure.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I saw somebody do it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Fixing string fixing like a drawstring. Or we would fix like the. The hoodie as well. Tighten that up if you were chewing on it like in high school or whatever. Yeah, fucking zap that up. Put a good knot on it.

[H. Foley]

Turns to plastic.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Which is weird.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh. First string or thread till you got a thread hanging. Fucking.

[H. Foley]

Oh, that's the best amber light.

[Kevin Ryan]

You ever light your socks on fire? Why, you never did that?

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got lighter on you.

[H. Foley]

Why?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's the b. I got brand new socks on. It's not gonna work.

[H. Foley]

So what, does it scatter around like lightning follows?

[Kevin Ryan]

You like it?

[H. Foley]

Like maybe I have seen it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really? That was big. You're out. You're sitting on someone's back deck or something catching heaters, having a few beers. Summertime. Get your socks or do it to your buddy. It would look. You ever do that? What am I, the coolest guy in the world?

[H. Foley]

I've taken a lighter and gone down my thigh with it, sparking it up, and I've done the thing in my hand.

[Kevin Ryan]

Cool guy, huh?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

No. Yeah, like all like the little lint and fur and fuzz engulfs and it like burns off the layer. It's like the. It's like the fucking space shuttle. Re coming back into the atmosphere. Yeah. One second about losing the room. Oh, man. All right, let's see here. This is from Raphael. 20. Latino, homie. Never have one Hol. That's basura. Is it garbage? Use wire cutters to cut your fingernails. Whoa. I've seen a lot of blue collar that's up there. Wire cutters. You know what? I was in my head, I was thinking tin snips, which would be crazy.

[H. Foley]

That's what I was thinking.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know, wire cutters make sense.

[H. Foley]

Like needle nose pliers.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, those are needle nose pliers. Wire cutters are like shorter vert. Let me pull it up.

[H. Foley]

They give you needle nose pliers.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why?

[H. Foley]

Because if you use the, you know, the. The cutting that.

[Kevin Ryan]

The wire cutters are just that essentially. Without the needle. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

So why would you tin snips have the wave in the. Yeah, right. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. These. It's just like. It's the Cutting version of.

[H. Foley]

Right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Needle nose pliers.

[H. Foley]

Which, by the way, Can I say something about needle nose pliers? The go to instrument of death for Patty Foley. My whole life. Used it for everything.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[H. Foley]

Every five minutes. Go get me the needle nubs pliers.

[Kevin Ryan]

While your mom's calling for those.

[H. Foley]

We had. We had a blue handle. Had them for like 40 years. Might still be sitting.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. There's another one. I forget the name of it. Like, look, see if you can get this. They're thinner than needle nose. They're like alligator nose or crocodile nose. I think they're like. Looks like something a dentist would use. Yeah, it's like real electrician shit. Yes. Not like make. It's more like you get in deep.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got anything good for pulling wax.

[H. Foley]

Out of a kid's ear?

[Kevin Ryan]

Alligator.

[H. Foley]

It's something like that. Crocodile nose.

[Kevin Ryan]

Alligator pliers.

[H. Foley]

Alligator pliers.

[Kevin Ryan]

Maybe not. Yeah, Dykes.

[H. Foley]

Which. Those are weird.

[Kevin Ryan]

You ever see Go get me by that. That's. I never knew what that. I guess Dykes is a brand new. My dad. Go get me my set of dykes. That's all I ever heard. I was like, this guy's a freak.

[H. Foley]

Do you ever see that thing? That's. It's an alligator, but not an alligator. It's called like a cayman or something like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Where the.

[Kevin Ryan]

Those things will get you.

[H. Foley]

Where. Where it's like the mouth is really narrow. Like, very needle nose pliersy. And the teacher's digging out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yikes.

[H. Foley]

No, thank you.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's like Jurassic Park. I'm out.

[H. Foley]

I don't want that thing near me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I mean the needle nose pliers. That makes sense. That's readily available. You get a good cut. You got to have hefty fingers for that, though.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You can't. Like broads can't be doing that.

[H. Foley]

I don't think I can do it man enough.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I'm not. You got to have like a fucking. You got to be working when you got to be working with wire cutters. If you're. You know.

[H. Foley]

If you're doing that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, for sure.

[H. Foley]

If you're in sales and you're doing that. Stop lying, everybody.

[Kevin Ryan]

I ain't buying. All right, let's see. This is from Dylan. $10, homie. Never have one red. Are you garbage? If you fill your cup at a fast food restaurant with 80% diet soda and about 20% heavy just for a little flavor blast.

[H. Foley]

Don't hate it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I can't believe I never really thought of that.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I can't believe we never heard of that. Maybe we have and I just forget. That's pretty brilliant. I have to say.

[H. Foley]

It's great. You know, I deal in absolutes all the time. I think very black and white's got to be one way or the other. Usually to the extreme. Yeah, it's the same thing that, like, I learned from smoking weed in high school. I don't have to smoke the whole joint. Just have a hit, take a puff.

[Kevin Ryan]

Take a puff, puff, puff, paste.

[H. Foley]

Little splash of regular soda in there. All right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Sugar.

[Kevin Ryan]

There you go.

[H. Foley]

Sweeten it up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, dabble, do you?

[H. Foley]

Yeah. But I'll tell you this now. These days when I have a regular soda, I know it's regular soda. But 80% of the time, that Coke Zero, that diet cherry Pepsi, you don't really know.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, I mean, you do when you don't. As you know, I'm. I'm trying to fly a little straighter now to baby's ear. I really saw, you know, DCs. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

What does that got to do with anything? Who did they ever hurt? Why can't you have Dai Cola? You just don't want to do it.

[Kevin Ryan]

The chemicals in it are chemicals. Listen, listen, I'm not. I had. I was drinking. I was putting.

[H. Foley]

You want to look good on film. You were. You're worried about.

[Kevin Ryan]

You were coming nowhere near my Diet Coke consumption. Nowhere near. I mean, I was putting up. I had to be in the top.001% in the world at consumption of.

[H. Foley]

You, like math teacher numbers.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it was nuts. I. Nobody was. It was like. It was a fucking problem. We'd be in here, I'd do two bottles. Ease. Two bottles?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

When people drink, dude, I go out to the restaurant. I'm doing them at breakfast. Restaurant.

[H. Foley]

What are you going with? Rickles?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Gear rays.

[H. Foley]

So you're at a table with Dean Martin.

[Kevin Ryan]

Frank.

[H. Foley]

I'm eating here, down to the espresso.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was. I. It was too much. It was getting too bad. I'll do it. And I got. I got really. Those Lacroix, as Connor Kelly calls them. Work beers. I can crush those. Lot of them. But now I will treat myself to a diet cake if I'm out or whatever. And it's hits. It's like. It's like a real. It's like what a real cake used to feel like.

[H. Foley]

Mm.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've read. I've re. Acclimated myself.

[H. Foley]

Remember what John Chris said about in rehab? Like, you have to bring yourself down to zero. So, like, you can appreciate, you know, I mean, there's no way that you can appreciate life when you're, you know, going full blast because nothing compares to it. But when you bring yourself down, then you have to. Diet Coke feels good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Are you bringing yourself down?

[H. Foley]

Wanna go to rehab?

[Kevin Ryan]

Push. Comes to show.

[H. Foley]

I'm saying, if you don't have the regular stuff in a long time, it does hit.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would also argue even the diet cake's a little too sweet for me.

[H. Foley]

Oh my God.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's like.

[H. Foley]

You know what used to fucking drive me.

[Kevin Ryan]

I hate. I hate what I've become. I gotta get healthy, man. I gotta fucking kid. One of us gotta get healthy.

[H. Foley]

I'm getting healthy.

[Kevin Ryan]

We can't. You can't be two holograms doing the show.

[H. Foley]

I'm getting healthy.

[Kevin Ryan]

One of us has to host. The other can be a hologram. Graham.

[H. Foley]

I'm getting healthy and I'm happy. You're getting healthy and I completely understand.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sound like it.

[H. Foley]

I'm just busting your balls. But you know what I used to hate as a fat guy?

[Kevin Ryan]

You're fat?

[H. Foley]

Yes. As a fat guy with eating addictions.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hot as. It's crazy. Turn the arrow. Turn the air on. We got it.

[H. Foley]

I feel the wood.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like the wood. The wood's hot. The wood's warping. Dude, fry an egg out of here. Just. Yeah. Turn the. Turn. Turn this air on. Where are you going? Yeah, this, this, this. Did something. Turn this arrow. We'll just. The noise is fine at this point.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Jesus Christ. You get this guy from behind that desk, he freaks out.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know.

[H. Foley]

You just tried to walk out of the room.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's it. I'm leaving.

[H. Foley]

Where the hell were you going?

[Kevin Ryan]

Just. It's fine. Just turn it on. Something. I'm fucking. I feel like it's kind of hot in these rhinos right now, dude.

[H. Foley]

That'd be funny. We should do one just in our underwear. Sexy.

[Kevin Ryan]

We did. We remember. We did an old center city comedy. Topless, I think, because it may be hot.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's no video of that. We all sat around with our man boobs.

[H. Foley]

Scrub.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, that's. That's all right.

[H. Foley]

Wow. Now apologizes a little. No way hot in here.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. We can room tone it or send that to NASA to get the. The buzz taken. I need. I need air conditioning.

[H. Foley]

What? I was going to say humidity. As someone who has a very strong connection to especially the sweeter side of food. Hearing somebody say that's too sweet or that's too rich. Oh, that's too rich for me. It's a little too sweet for me. I. I'm not on it. I wish I had that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

I. I understand that. Less than hieroglyphics. I don't get that. What does that mean? It's too sweet? I couldn't imagine. Like, there's only a certain point of sweet. It doesn't just keep going. You know what I mean? I just don't get it for you.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're. You. You're. What you just explained your barometer is. If it's not 99 degrees, you don't break a sweat. You break a Sweat in 32. If I had to be honest with you under pressure. But.

[H. Foley]

But I get the analogy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. You've. And also there's stuff for you. You're like, ah, it's too seafood. It's too whatever. It's like that. Okay.

[H. Foley]

Too fishy, maybe.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. But I would. Someone could argue fishy's just fishy. You see what you're saying? Someone who eats fish every day is like, that's. You talking to a Norwegian guy. No. He's gonna go, that's. That's just fishy.

[H. Foley]

A fish on Tuesday is a lot less fishy than a fish on Friday. Same fish. Obviously, it's gonna be more fishy on Friday. It's gonna be bad. But.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, but you're talking about the duration of the fish. I'm talking about scale of different fish. See what I'm saying? No, I know you don't. This is why you don't understand more sweet.

[H. Foley]

What can be too sweet? It's too rich.

[Kevin Ryan]

You. Nothing.

[H. Foley]

She's. That's too rich for me. What the fuck does that mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, I'm trying to. I'm trying to answer it, and you're telling me no. So I don't know. I don't know how to go from here.

[H. Foley]

I just don't know if you're okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you see what I'm saying? You're.

[H. Foley]

You're saying different species of fish. Not the same. Not the same fish a week later. Because that would be more fishier.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I'm not saying the same fish a week later. No.

[H. Foley]

Okay. Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

You see what I'm saying?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nothing's going to be too sweet for you. You have to understand that. That not everybody has the same palate as you have. Does that make sense?

[H. Foley]

Because I'm an animal.

[Kevin Ryan]

You just described this with John Crist. 0 to 100. Oh, my. Drake over here real quick. Yeah. Your Your barometer shot. So you're going, that's too sweet. That's all I'm saying.

[H. Foley]

Too sweet for me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Never.

[H. Foley]

We gotcha now. What are you doing? Okay, this guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Fucking heat's getting to us.

[H. Foley]

I like it.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, this one's from Davis the door guy. Are you garbage. If you make your trade, your whole personality. By the way, if you ever need any type of door, automatic, swing, slider, revolving, I'm your guy, my man. Signed, Davis the door. Also, who the fuck needs a revolving door? That's crazy.

[H. Foley]

I didn't know that's how it worked. What, that. I thought people that sold revolving doors sold revolving doors. People that automatics sold automatics and regular doors.

[Kevin Ryan]

Regular doors, man.

[H. Foley]

I didn't know they had it like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Some ideas are just too rich for you, huh?

[H. Foley]

Too sweet. That's awesome.

[Kevin Ryan]

You don't think a door guy does other doors?

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Window lead?

[H. Foley]

No. I would think that that's got to.

[Kevin Ryan]

Be a big revolving door. So you're telling me a bit a revolving door business is sitting there and some guy. Your. Your. Your ABC doors, and he calls. He's like, hey, I'm looking for, you know, automatic swinging doors. And he went, I can't help you. I'm strictly. Strictly.

[H. Foley]

We don't do them now, unfortunately. We don't do them. We just do residential, regular front doors or inside doors, whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would argue residential doors and revolving doors might be different, but a revolving door, whatever door a grocery store needs is going to be the same door guy. Whether it's revolving, sliding, automatic, in a commercial space.

[H. Foley]

I guess that makes sense. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're not putting a revolving door in your crib. Talk about fucking Robin Banks. That's crazy. That'd be sweet.

[H. Foley]

Be sweet. Or just an automatic door. To have an automatic door in the backyard, going outside, that'd be pretty cool.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's not bad.

[H. Foley]

Throw one of those AC blasters that.

[Kevin Ryan]

The wall of air. I remember. I think we were in Williamsburg, Virginia.

[H. Foley]

You know why they do that?

[Kevin Ryan]

Keep the bugs in the air out.

[H. Foley]

Can't keep the bug man out, though.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm coming in a window. I come up from the bottom. I come up from the subfloor.

[H. Foley]

Baby, there's a mosquito on the ceiling. Last night I was like, you can't talk of me. I'm the bug man.

[Kevin Ryan]

I control you. Yeah. When we learned that, it was like that wall of air, and that was like the brand called, like, wall or air curtain or wall of air or something. And me and my brother too, I Mean, because like we just grew up in the construction industry. Like so it was like. That was cool to us. Of like. Whoa. And then my dad going. You see that? Like he. That was like a. You know, he had only heard about him. Now he's seen them and they sure. So he would show it up. Look at that. That day, you know, we were sitting there like what? Walking through it back and forth. Don't play with it. Don't play with it.

[H. Foley]

You break it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. That. My family really is conscientious of motors and machines working. We don't like overworking them, I think because we've always had to fix them. You know what I mean? So it was always like, don't overwork it. Don't. You don't run the air too much. You don't like. It was very. Let the machine rest a little bit. Let him, you know, let him get his. Let him get his state hours.

[H. Foley]

Don't use it too much.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Like. Like now. You know what I mean? I think like a plane. A plane's just running constantly.

[H. Foley]

Don't think about that. I. Dude, I never. That never occur. I knew they flew back. I just assumed they flew back. I didn't know that. It was just. I remember no one's checking that in between. Like in between each flight there should be somebody walking around checking the wires.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think they do. But I. I was always.

[H. Foley]

Not to the degree that I would like.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. I mean, we.

[H. Foley]

Sorry. We've seen planes exchange. They pull in, people get off. They, they. They clean it and then we're on there.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know I was always under the impression of going give this thing a couple hours. Let them chill.

[H. Foley]

Let it cool down.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just, you know, he did the best you got Everybody here safe and sound. He deserve. Fill them up with premium. Let him fucking hold on a TV show. Let him chill it.

[H. Foley]

Let it chill. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Maybe hit the lounge.

[H. Foley]

Crazy. Which is also way more impressive when you think about it. Whoever turns off their iPhone. That thing's just running. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mine dies a lot.

[H. Foley]

But yeah, still say what you want about it.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[H. Foley]

What other thing is just. Is just going to forever nuts. That's why I don't trust it. Something's going on. Little element 15 in there. What's it called? Element 115, huh? Little E15. E115. You know what that is?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, of course you don't.

[H. Foley]

Because you're still blinded. Anti gravity element not found on earth. According to certain gentlemen. It's the power source for certain alien aircraft. Or that's what some ancient alien astronaut theories would suspect. I always love that. Now you like to show. All right, whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

Me.

[H. Foley]

Talking about air conditioning, trying to expand his mind.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm pretty sure you think you're a bug. Let's talk about it. So you're not expanding my mind. Okay. You were talking to a mosquito last night.

[H. Foley]

No, I was yelling at a mosquito last night.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very different.

[H. Foley]

It's a very one sided conversation.

[Kevin Ryan]

He doesn't speak English.

[H. Foley]

And then I got him later.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Boom, got him. Them and roaches. Only thing I killed. And a centipede if I came across it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, I got a silver fish the other night.

[H. Foley]

Why?

[Kevin Ryan]

I was. Why I gotta protect my family. I. I was feeding the baby.

[H. Foley]

They do bite, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

I dad mood engaged. I've hit him.

[H. Foley]

Real tough guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Because I couldn't. He was sleep. I forget what it was maybe was sleep or something. I.

[H. Foley]

The silverfish.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, he was.

[H. Foley]

Oh, the baby was sleeping.

[Kevin Ryan]

The silverfish was not sleeping. That guy was cooking, squirming. And he was coming. I would. He had me in his sights because he was up there like. And he fuck across the ceiling into my. Into my dot into my area. I go, hey, you're on a ceiling. I can't get you. Pretty high ceilings. Stay up there. He started coming down. I said, no, thank you. Then I lost him. Which head on a swivel. Sleeping baby just got him down in my arms. I can't fucking now do I get attacked by a silverfish. And now I'm sleeping on a couch because it's late.

[H. Foley]

That's prime time spot. He's just waiting for you to fall asleep.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's gonna be in my nose.

[H. Foley]

He'll come, come up. This thing go into one of the cushions. You got all them cushions to wig right through and it clears. Shot up in the crevasse. Get right to your nutsack.

[Kevin Ryan]

I pictured him crawling over my. My mustache.

[H. Foley]

Just fucking crawling in out of your nose.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I'm going, oh, my Steve. Oh.

[H. Foley]

Have you ever seen the thing that looks like a silver fish, but it's a little more hairy, a little more caterpillary and it has two long spikes in the front. I don't know what that guy is.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't mess with them. I don't like.

[H. Foley]

They look.

[Kevin Ryan]

They like get you. They look like they bite.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Silverfish is out for a stroll. They look like. Oh, the. That scared the out of me. An earwig. An earwig. I believe these things got pincers.

[H. Foley]

Are you talking us. All right. Bugman should know Yeah, I don't like those things.

[Kevin Ryan]

But I. I looped my foot back and I got him with my big toe right. Right in the corner of the wall.

[H. Foley]

Wait, were you shoeless?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. At my house.

[H. Foley]

Wait, you're killing bugs? Shoeless?

[Kevin Ryan]

I had to protect my child.

[H. Foley]

I am stunned, dude.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is a killer. Be killed in Easter e squashed a.

[H. Foley]

Bug with your bare toe.

[Kevin Ryan]

What else am I gonn. Yeah, talk about icky toes.

[H. Foley]

Charles Garop. What? That's nuts. I would never.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. What are you talking.

[H. Foley]

Ever since the thing about the. The roaches and the eggs. When you squash it, the eggs get on your shoe. You probably got silverfish fucking growing in your toe. Good luck getting that out. Give me a little more Lotrimin.

[Kevin Ryan]

We gotta wrap it up, gang.

[H. Foley]

We love you to death.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure do.

[H. Foley]

Grab those tickets for the live show.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh. Join a Patreon.

[H. Foley]

Join the Patreon. Come out and see us. And we'll see you next week.

[Kevin Ryan]

Peace.

[H. Foley]

Peace.