Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Episode: Matt McCusker Returns!
Date: March 16, 2026
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Guest: Matt McCusker

Episode Overview

This episode welcomes back comedian Matt McCusker—co-host of "Matt and Shane’s Secret Podcast" and long-standing friend of the show—for an in-person deep dive into his upbringing and present-day habits. Foley and Ryan, alongside McCusker, dig into trashy Delco roots, stories of family chaos, teenage grifts, rural mischief, and new levels of adulting (with plenty of garbage still in the mix). The tone is fast, irreverent, and loaded with Philly energy, punctuated by great group chemistry and signature “Are You Garbage?” questions.

Main Themes

• Growing up in a chaotic, trashy but loving Delco/Philly family
• The fine art of teenage grifting and low-level scams
• Blue-collar upbringings and odd jobs
• Family dynamics, wild cousin games, and rural mischief
• How Matt has (and hasn’t) changed since the early days
• The sometimes blurred line between success and old habits

Episode Highlights & Key Discussion Points

Reintroducing the "Prince of Trash" (00:55–04:40)

• Matt’s history as an early guest over Zoom, now returned in person.
• Foley recalls dropping Matt off at his semi-abandoned West Philly block, highlighting Philly’s unique mix of vacant lots, row homes, and odd neighbors.
• “[After that] your shadow was on the other building, and then you just disappeared…like Batman, but trashy.” — H. Foley (01:45)

Wild Neighborhood Memories (02:10–04:36)

• Matt shares about living on a half-demolished block with just a handful of neighbors, including a mother-daughter sex work duo operating from a Ford Explorer.
• Anecdote about buying a house via handshake for $27k, then selling it as-is (with a tree in the basement) for $55k, then watched it become Section 8.

First Jobs & Teenage Grifting (05:08–10:41)

• First job: Brewster’s Ice Cream on Route 202.
• “If the boss was nice, I wouldn’t steal. If the boss was not nice, I was like, this is my enemy. I’m going to try to destroy your business.” — Matt McCusker (07:05)
• Matt describes clever theft using “free baby cone” register function to pop the cash drawer.
• Also ran grifts at a Concord Mall candy stand, and had family members with legendary Wawa “paid stamp” scams.
• “That’s like a stolen gun. That’s like a gun without a serial number, dude.” — Kevin Ryan (10:32)

Family & Childhood Chaos (12:15–17:22)

• Grew up with 16 cousins on a “compound”; wild games included rolling each other downhill in truck tires, lots of dirt-bike accidents, and gauntlets of older cousins pelting them with balls.
• “They’d just put me in a truck tire and roll me down the septic mountain.” — Matt McCusker (15:38)
• Two cousins hospitalized same day from dirt bike injuries.
• “Did someone—no one died?” “No! That’s what I think about. Like, no, that’s wild.” — Foley & Matt (17:04)

Delinquency in Suburbia (20:36–23:16)

• Cousins would roam new housing developments, mess with model homes (including one cousin defecating in a no-water toilet).
• Caulking bulldozer keyholes shut, smashing caulk onto basement walls, and generally antagonizing construction workers.
• “We used to wait for them [builders] to wrap up and then just bomb down the hill on our bikes, total mayhem.” — Kevin Ryan (22:06)
• Matt reflects on how bad mischief must have been for the laborers.

More Family Lore: Jobs, Trash, and the Law (24:32–35:46)

• Most cousins got summer jobs at Wawa, one infamously wore a tucked-in Metallica T-shirt to his interview (“looks like he’s going to a court hearing”), and sliced himself badly on the meat slicer.
• Local fame: One cousin on the news for bragging, “My dad gets me toys out of the trash all the time.” (29:43)
• Family business in trash hauling led to tales of hospital dumpsters full of “guns with bodies on them.”
• Family members representing themselves in court—one uncle beats a Geico lawyer for a car accident by acting like Cousin Vinny.
• “How do you like losing to a truck driver? Slicked back ginball, college boy!” — Matt’s uncle (35:38)

Adulting, Self-Control, and Domestic Life (41:30–64:48)

• Matt describes owning 3–4 suits (and a tux), thanks to his wife keeping him “quarterbacked” for events (42:10).
• Loves grocery shopping, used to scam at the self-checkout, figured he could claim, “I haven’t been trained to operate this piece of machinery” if caught (44:12, 45:09).
• “All I have to say is, how do you know I know how to use that thing?” — Matt (45:28)
• Cooking at home: Mix of meal prep services, and hiring a cook.
• Bought a house in Austin, started mowing his own lawn, but quickly hired a lawn service instead. (49:24)
• Drinks “like, six liters of Mountain Valley water a day,” splurges on fancy water from Sprouts/Whole Foods.
• Discusses disciplined diet (gluten-free), even when cutting loose: “Even your wheels are off—gluten free pizza.” (54:26)
• Family finances: His wife handles everything, inspired by the idea that samurais never touched money. “I’m like a Chinese citizen. Everything’s tracked, everything’s surveilled. Keeps me honest.” (64:09)

Travel & “Garbage” Habits (51:31–56:47)

• Flies up front for work, brings bags of grilled chicken (with seasoning) in a plastic bag to eat on planes, despite wife’s embarrassment.
• Requests hotel room changes for mold, notices which hotels offer memory foam pillows (pro tip).
• Rides an efficient CRV, but imagines decking it out “like a Jeep…into an amphibious vehicle.” (67:09–68:08)

Notable Quick Hits

• Takes leftovers home, but rarely sends food back unless truly cross-contaminated (61:00)
• If attending a wedding: “Usually it’s a thousand bucks” cash or Venmo—handled by his wife. (62:04)
• Rarely dances at weddings anymore: “Something about getting older…I just feel ridiculous when I dance.” (65:09)
• Karaoke go-to: “Unchained Melody” by the Righteous Brothers (65:57)
• Both he and wife prefer CRVs, but she wants a bigger car for carpooling soon.
• Has hauled a mattress on top of his car solo—recently.

Quintessential Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If the boss was nice, I wouldn’t steal. If the boss was not nice, I was like, this is my enemy.” — Matt (07:05)
• “They’d just put me in a truck tire and roll me down the septic mountain.” — Matt (15:38)
• “That’s like a stolen gun…that’s like a gun without a serial number, dude.” — Kevin (10:32)
• “I hadn’t been trained to operate this piece of machinery.” — Matt (45:10, on self-checkout)
• “I’m like a Chinese citizen. Everything’s tracked, everything’s surveilled. Keeps me honest.” — Matt (64:09)
• “I’m gonna deck the CRV out…matte paint, spray floors, amphibious vehicle.” — Matt (67:44)
• “He’s 100% trash, but he’s striving.” — H. Foley (71:52)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:55–04:36 — Reintroducing Matt, West Philly stories, house purchase/sell
• 05:08–10:41 — First jobs, Brewster’s grift, candy stand, Wawa “paid” scam
• 12:15–17:22 — Compound chaos, dangerous cousin games, cousin injuries
• 20:36–23:16 — Suburban mischief, new house developments, caulk/bulldozer pranks
• 24:32–35:46 — More job grifts, fame, court stories
• 41:30–64:48 — Suits, grocery shopping, self-checkout, domestic life, finances
• 51:31–56:47 — Travel habits, airplane chicken, hotel preferences, memory foam pillows
• 62:04 — Wedding gifts and etiquette (“usually a thousand bucks”)
• 65:09 — On dancing at weddings (“less and less”)
• 67:09–68:08 — Current car life, plans to deck out CRV
• 71:00 — Hauling a mattress solo atop his car

Final Verdict

Matt McCusker: 100% Trash, Philly Edition—But Striving.
Foley and Ryan crown him elite garbage royalty, but also “striving”—having made significant strides in adult life, even as the ghosts of trashy habits and blue-collar improvisation remain strong. The result is a uniquely warm, hilarious, and real portrait of “successful garbage.”

For Fans & New Listeners

• Perfect episode for those who love stories of wild Philly suburb childhoods, family chaos, blue-collar hustles, and candid talk about how some things never change.
• Full of practical life hacks, trashy wisdom, and lovable lawlessness—a must-listen for fans of both AYG and Matt & Shane’s Secret Podcast.

“He’s 100% trash, but he’s striving. Got the Mountain Valley. Six of those a day. Six a day. What do you mean? He’s trying!” — H. Foley (71:54)