Ralph Barbosa Seeks REDEMPTION!

Summary

Podcast Episode Summary: "Ralph Barbosa Seeks REDEMPTION"

Release Date: August 11, 2025

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Introduction

[00:00 – 01:34]

Hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley kick off the episode of "Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast," a show where they humorously evaluate whether their guests, often comedians, embody "classy" or "trash" behaviors. This episode features returning guest Ralph Barbosa, who joins them to discuss his latest endeavors and personal anecdotes.

---

Formula Bean: Ralph's YouTube Venture

[06:08 – 16:27]

Ralph Barbosa introduces his new YouTube channel, Formula Bean, co-managed with his friend Luis (username_af on Instagram). Luis, an engineer previously at Lockheed Martin, left his stable job to pursue content creation alongside Ralph. Ralph shares their journey and the growth of their channel:

• Ralph: “We're innovating. Our engineering skills are pushing the automotive industry further than it's ever been” [07:52].
• H. Foley: “Listen, you're doing success so perfect. It's fucking awesome” [16:18].

Ralph emphasizes their collaborative efforts and the challenges they faced convincing Luis to leave his corporate position, ultimately leading to a thriving YouTube presence with over 300k subscribers.

---

Automotive Adventures and Racing Incidents

[07:24 – 22:46]

A significant portion of the episode delves into Ralph’s passion for cars and his recent racing experiences:

• Modifying the Nissan 240 SX:

  • Ralph: “We put nitrous and turbo on a 89 Nissan 240 SX and blew it up” [07:56].
  • The modification included adding NOS (nitrous oxide) and a turbocharger to enhance performance.

• Racing in Houston:

  • First Race: Ralph's team races against their friend Freddy LSX, initially winning the first race using a 75-shot NOS injection.
  • Second Race: In an attempt to outperform, Ralph increases the NOS shot to 100, causing the engine to seize: “the motor just dies” [14:17].
  • Technical Mishap: The failure was due to not properly bleeding the NOS lines, leading to air lingering in the system and engine seizure post-race.

• Financial Impact:

  • Ralph explains, “We broke even because I won the first race, but then I lost the second one” [22:30], highlighting the financial risks involved in such modifications.

---

Managing an Extensive Car Collection

[36:31 – 42:00]

Ralph discusses his diverse and extensive car collection, balancing his love for cars with practical considerations:

• Collection Details:

  • Cars Owned: Over 11-12 cars, though only about four are currently operational and insured.
  • Favorites: A 2017 Chevy SS valued around $120,000 and a revered 1990 Nissan Skyline R32.

• Maintenance Challenges:

  • Ralph shares insights into maintaining older models, such as the ease of replacing window motors: “Changing out the window motor or like the regulators, like super easy” [57:59].

• Son’s Influence:

  • Ralph: “He starts questioning my [Chevy SS]... he says I should trade in the GTR for a Lamborghini, but man, blasphemy” [38:31].
  • His six-year-old son influences his automotive choices, fostering a shared passion but also introducing new dynamics.

---

Personal Life and Family Dynamics

[25:16 – 35:00]

Ralph opens up about his personal life, particularly his relationship with his son and how it intersects with his automotive hobbies:

• Balancing Roles:

  • Ralph discusses taking fewer tour dates to spend more time with his family: “I’m making less money, but I’m spending less” [38:31].

• Son’s Passion for Cars:

  • His son shows a keen interest in cars, sometimes challenging Ralph’s choices: “He’s evil sometimes... he's stressing me out” [38:35].

• Parenting Anecdotes:

  • Ralph: “He’s like, we need to take the blue SS out. We haven't taken it out in a while” [27:17], highlighting moments where his son's preferences influence his decisions.

---

Listener Questions: Car Maintenance and Customizations

[57:48 – 60:19]

Ralph addresses listener-submitted questions, providing practical advice on car maintenance:

• Driver's Side Window Issues:

  • Ralph: “Changing out the window motor or like the regulators, like super easy” [57:59].
  • He reassures listeners about the simplicity of fixing such issues, encouraging DIY approaches.

• New Car Stickers:

  • Discusses the practice of leaving dealership stickers on new cars to signify ownership duration: “As long as the car's washed, kick that thing on there” [60:27].

• Radio and Bluetooth Challenges:

  • Shares experiences with cars lacking functional radios and the adaptations made: “I like half of them. Bought a man. I love this car, but it has no radio” [60:55].

---

Humorous Banter and Personal Anecdotes

Throughout the episode, hosts and Ralph engage in light-hearted jokes and share personal stories:

• Haircut Incident:

  • H. Foley: “I respect she’s turning a page” [00:47].
  • Discussion about H. Foley’s barber mishap and Ralph’s humorous take on fixing hair at the house.

• ER Visit Mishap:

  • Ralph narrates a comical yet frustrating experience at a Philadelphia ER after accidentally breaking his toe: “[...] we were there first” [46:40].
  • The story includes humorous exchanges with medical staff and the eventual outcome of the injury.

• Cigar Usage:

  • Conversation about wearing cigars for style purposes and the social perceptions surrounding them: “I wore a real Rolex, okay? But I didn’t know how to set it, so the time was just off” [48:44].

---

Notable Quotes

• Ralph on Formula Bean: “Formula Bean is me and my buddy Luis, who’s an engineer [...]” [16:28].
• Ralph on Car Racing: “We put nitrous and turbo on a 89 Nissan 240 SX and blew it up” [07:56].
• H. Foley on Ralph’s Success: “I think he made it worse somehow” [64:34].
• Ralph on Son’s Influence: “He’s gonna make me into a man” [32:10].

---

Conclusion

[64:02 – 64:48]

As the episode wraps up, the hosts encourage listeners to check out Ralph’s new special on Hulu and attend his upcoming tour dates. They humorously rate Ralph’s performance on the "garbage" scale, ultimately affirming their support despite playful jabs:

• Kevin Ryan: “Ralph Barbosa, ladies and gentlemen” [63:55].
• H. Foley: “Planet Bosa did not redeem himself” [64:31].

Ralph reflects on his journey to improve his image, balancing his passions with personal growth, and expresses gratitude for the continued support from the hosts and listeners.

---

Overall Impression

"Ralph Barbosa Seeks REDEMPTION" offers a blend of automotive passion, personal storytelling, and comedic interplay between the hosts and Ralph. The episode provides insights into Ralph’s ventures, challenges, and the humorous side of balancing personal life with professional pursuits.

Transcript

[Kevin Ryan]

Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is are you garbage? Oh, yeah, it's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that if they grew up to be classy or if they're just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host. A trolley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tody's in a new edition. She is on her way to five o' clock mass. Okay, can do a little confession.

[H. Foley]

All right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Gonna hit the poor box, light a candle, do five o' clock mass with the monsignor, come back, start a little dinner.

[H. Foley]

I respect she's. New page.

[Kevin Ryan]

New page. I respect that she's turning a page. Mike coast is coming at you. Right next to me with a fresh haircut. Am I right or wrong?

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I got you. I got whacked up out there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Private first class.

[H. Foley]

Let's get into it. Let's get into it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Give it up for Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

[H. Foley]

What up, gang? Shout out to you. Thanks as always. Thanks for tuning in. Make sure you rate review. Subscribe on itunes. Full video available YouTube also full video available on Spotify. And the boys are cooking in the charts.

[Kevin Ryan]

Where the goddamn charts over there.

[H. Foley]

Then obviously the greatest website of all time. Www.patreon.com. are you garbage? You go over there, get all that bonus content, gang.

[Kevin Ryan]

And gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest. He's back with us again today. I was saying he's almost like the third mic at this point. Definitely family. It's his third or fourth time back. He's got a brand new special out on Hulu right now, but planet Bosa, give it up for Ralph Barbosa, everybody. Look at you.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Hey, what's up, everybody? Welcome back to the podcast. Coming at you just to promote planet Bosa.

[H. Foley]

And that's it for me.

[Kevin Ryan]

You guys have been great.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Thank you. Go watch now, kids.

[Kevin Ryan]

Got a couple shots of ginger ale in them right now.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

What'd you have, a little late lunch?

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, I haven't had lunch. This is lunch.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wait, so where did the cocktails come in? You guys would not have to have a drink during the day.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Who? Do I have drinks during the day?

[H. Foley]

No. Did you today?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, yeah, I had a. I had a beer. I just Had a beer.

[H. Foley]

I respect that. Well, this is. This is very nice. So I found the world's largest beer.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did you get that time?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Hold on. I want to talk about.

[H. Foley]

Since I love New York, I want.

[Ralph Barbosa]

To talk about how you. What is it? Entrapment?

[H. Foley]

No, no, no, no.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Because I was like, hey, is anybody else gonna have a beer? And you were like, no, but that's what they're here for.

[Kevin Ryan]

Of course.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You were like, drink up, buddy. Grab whatever you want. And so I grabbed a good old Budweiser, and as soon as I sit down, you're like, whoa, you're gonna drink all that?

[Kevin Ryan]

You went for the party ball.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Alcoholic fucking trash.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, no, I was just. I didn't. First of all, I didn't realize we had the big ones in there because I all, you know, full discrepancy or full. Whatever it's called. I drank all the regular Budweisers last, like, two weeks ago out of there. I didn't realize they were replaced by the big Bud.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I just have tiny hands.

[H. Foley]

I know.

[Kevin Ryan]

You look so good.

[H. Foley]

It's actually an 8 ounce.

[Kevin Ryan]

Your hair is getting better and better. Not that it was ever bad, but it's growing in, looking real sharp.

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, it was bad.

[Kevin Ryan]

Real leading man type of. Type of dude going on.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now, what happened to you? Because I didn't notice it all day till I saw the size.

[H. Foley]

Bad genetics. I got a guy was on pills for sure. I was out there in the subway kind of guy.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You have hairs on the back of your neck.

[H. Foley]

Listen, I'm not happy about it. It's happened late. This happened late yesterday, all right? I had to do a little bit. A little bit of fixing on my own.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, that's bad.

[H. Foley]

Get this. The guy, he's doing the straight rate. Guy's on pills or had a long history of pills previously. And he might be clean, but he's still slow. And he's all pills. So he's doing the straight razor, right? And I don't realize doing it like.

[Kevin Ryan]

That, that's a bad sign.

[H. Foley]

So, you know.

[Kevin Ryan]

Stop being a.

[Ralph Barbosa]

He's waving this wand in your face.

[H. Foley]

When they do. Like, I saw that. He. He pulled it out and then they tip, you know, like, there's always, like, a minute. They got to undo the blade, get the new blade, whatever, whatever. So I was like, oh, I got a minute. So I stopped paying attention. And then he was doing it way too quick. And in my head, I'm like, I don't know if he put a new blade on. And then I'm like, that's crazy. That if he. I'm like, he had to put a new blade on that.

[Ralph Barbosa]

How old was this guy?

[H. Foley]

He's all. He's older.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I guarantee you there's not a new blade on.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, because then he. They typically didn't take it off and throw it out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

He rested it on, like, the blue Gatorade thing.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah, old. Old.

[H. Foley]

I was just like.

[Kevin Ryan]

I just spit on it and put it back in the drawer.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Not every old school barber, but a lot of the old school guys, they'll just kind of brush it off and then respray it with the cool kid. Yeah. I think that's why you get to go. Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hepatitis Kippy.

[H. Foley]

I. I know. I. That's been on my mind. And then I did check the Google reviews, and the one guy's like, I got in a fight with Ronnie about not using a new blade.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who's trimming you up? I'm sure we asked you this, but what's the setup down there?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I usually go to my old barber, which is. Yeah, barber. Yeah, yeah. One of the. One of the guys who owns the shop. His name's Jose. He's been cutting my hair as I was a kid. I'll go to him, or I'll go to my buddy Ivan. Shout out to Ivan the Great. Of course. He's a great barber. He really is. He's only about 4 foot 2, but he's a great barber.

[H. Foley]

There you go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nobody's coming to you yet. I'm sure we asked you this. No one's coming to the house.

[Ralph Barbosa]

In my house.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes.

[Ralph Barbosa]

So for me to cut their hair.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, you.

[H. Foley]

For them to cut your hair. Oh, I got to cut hair.

[Ralph Barbosa]

No more. I've been drinking too much today. These two beers are.

[Kevin Ryan]

I like it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah, nah. One time, my barber came to my house, but he's. He's old school, too, and he yells at me. He's like, who the you think you are? I got to go to your house. I was like, all right, fair enough.

[Kevin Ryan]

Keeps you humble. Because the house situation, as I've been. I like to follow. You know what I mean?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

I like to see what you're up to. I love the antics down at the house. I love the fact that Antics is.

[H. Foley]

A great word for.

[Kevin Ryan]

Antics is a great word for it. And I know how good he's doing by, like, if I see a new quad, if I see a new car, I see a couple more people there hanging out of this thing or that, running around the track. I Like to see it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I looks like things are going well. They're going well. My house is now the headquarters of my new YouTube channel, Formula Bean, which I got.

[H. Foley]

Listen, you're doing success so perfect. It's fucking awesome.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very trashy, but very correct.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I have come on today's episode to reverse the last two trash ratings that I got.

[H. Foley]

Well, the 40 ounce Budweiser is a good start.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Ignore the Budweiser. I am classy.

[Kevin Ryan]

And the last video I saw, you did pick up an ATV or something like that. You were racing something around the house you shouldn't have been.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I, I bought a razor and it flipped over.

[H. Foley]

What's a razor?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Like it's like off roading, like. But it's a buggy. It's a kid's buggy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But I bought a kids razor. I didn't buy like I thought it'd be fun to buy two of them and race them.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's pretty good.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But I could only fit one in my truck and the store was going to close so I bought one. I was like, I would just take turns right in it for sure. July.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's right. It was fourth of July.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah. And then we flipped over and we're like, ah, we should call it a day.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is the scene down there getting bigger and bigger? There seems to be more people hanging out down there. There seems to be more cars in the garage.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah, it was just a lot of me and my buddies were in Chicago partying and I was just like, hey, tomorrow's fourth of July. You guys want to go to the house and you know, party there? Whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're like, yeah, you're in Chicago.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I was in Chicago.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hop on a flight.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Hop on a flight to Dallas and buy a razor first thing in the morning.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's the first thing you did.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah. And yeah. Formula Bean, please follow us. We're innovating. We're our, our engineerical skills are innovating the automotive industry further than like, it's crazy what we're doing.

[Kevin Ryan]

Explain.

[H. Foley]

That's why we cut a car in half with a blowtorch.

[Ralph Barbosa]

We did. We put nitrous and turbo on a 89 Nissan 240 SX and blew it up.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Ralph Barbosa]

We didn't tune it at all. We just, we, we wanted to blow it up.

[H. Foley]

My plan.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, we wanted to do a motor swap on it. But why take out a perfectly good motor and just let it sit there? Why not NOS it turbo it without tuning it? Sure. Race it and blow it up.

[H. Foley]

Now, I assume you've used have you used. I mean, this was like. This is like a dirt bag dream. It was to, you know, put NOS in a car. Yeah, you have. Do you have regular cars where you use it?

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, that was my first time using nos. Who did my buddy's car.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who did this work, too?

[Ralph Barbosa]

We did it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can you do that? Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Last time he was here, he said he couldn't.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, I. I've. I'm telling you, I have advanced.

[H. Foley]

I told you about our technology, have I not?

[Kevin Ryan]

So your mechanic skills have improved.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yes. Every time I come here, my IQ doubles, if not triples.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you want? Limitless pills?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I just. I don't know. The more I drink, the more I learn.

[H. Foley]

This guy's good. That's all I got.

[Ralph Barbosa]

By the end of this, I will know how to do more.

[H. Foley]

He's gonna be sitting in our seats.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'm gonna be Formula one by the end of this one.

[Kevin Ryan]

So you're telling me you guys took an engine out of a car?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Actually, no. It's still sitting and there. Doesn't work anymore, though.

[Kevin Ryan]

We.

[H. Foley]

So you put NOS on an engine that couldn't take it?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, but the engine actually took the nose pretty well. What we up was, so we took it to Houston to race our buddy Freddy. There's a dude down there named Freddie lsx, and he has his own shop. It's pretty big on YouTube. So we go race him every now and then. Just whatever. Cars slow, fast.

[Kevin Ryan]

And where do you race them?

[Ralph Barbosa]

On the street.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. Yeah, just, like, take it to the track.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It's not worth it.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is a certain time of night.

[H. Foley]

Monte Carlo.

[Kevin Ryan]

Certain time of night. We're talking about a quiet road.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah. We usually go during the day on the high, not. Not on the highway. Now we go to, like, empty roads.

[Kevin Ryan]

Gotcha.

[H. Foley]

And so we go real residential.

[Kevin Ryan]

How do you get that car down there? You take it down there in a trailer?

[Ralph Barbosa]

We took it on a trailer.

[Kevin Ryan]

No. So you're, like, really doing that?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's crazy.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Only because the car is not gonna survive.

[H. Foley]

It wouldn't have gotten.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But we didn't tune the car. We just made sure it started, ran. We tested it once we put the nozz in. We did the turbo first. Then we put the nos, and we wanted to take it out and test it, but it was raining that night, so we just did a little bit of test, but we kept hydroplaning. So we're like, yeah, it's good.

[H. Foley]

This works. Yeah, that's all I need, boys.

[Ralph Barbosa]

So we drove down to Houston, to race our buddy. We tried to hide the fact that it had nods in a turbo.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was gonna ask you that.

[Ralph Barbosa]

We're like, nah, it just. It just has turbo. Because they were gonna pop the hood eventually. Like, it has turbo. But they. They saw the. The NAS lines. No, no, they saw the lines. They didn't even catch it the first time. We thought we were gonna get away with it. But when we pulled up to race, the car was getting hot and smoking a lot, and the other driver was just trying to be, like, a good guy and be like, oh, like, let me check it out. But when he opened it, he also saw the NOS lines. So then, I mean, the car is a piece of, like. Sure. It wasn't, like, a crazy.

[H. Foley]

How much does that car cost? Like, the car itself.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I think my buddy bought it for, like, 600 bucks.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

And putting the NAS and the turbo on it, what does that cost?

[H. Foley]

More than 600.

[Kevin Ryan]

He.

[Ralph Barbosa]

He got the NOS for free from shout out to Nitrous Express. They sponsored him. A bottle of NAS and the turbo pulled it out of a. A Nissan Skyline that he's rebuilding the motor.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Ralph Barbosa]

He was like, all right, I'll just.

[Kevin Ryan]

Park in a parking garage.

[H. Foley]

I got these catalytic converters, too.

[Ralph Barbosa]

We got something.

[H. Foley]

I'm sure. I'm sure you do. So probably got mine.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is that something you'd be able to do? Would you able to go under a car and cut out a catalytic converter and know exactly what you're looking for? Yeah, that's pretty good. I wouldn't even know what it looked like.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, I. I don't have any fear of, like, job security. Like, I got ways, you know, like, comedy don't work out. I'm good, baby. So we go. We race Freddy. They have. He has a lot of cars. So he matches whatever we bring. He'll, like, match it up with something that'll be a race. So he brings out this little Honda Civic.

[Kevin Ryan]

Are we filming this? Is this content?

[Ralph Barbosa]

It's on YouTube right now. It's on YouTube. Everybody kid does it. I'm like this on the thumbnail.

[H. Foley]

Like, can you believe. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[Ralph Barbosa]

We win the first race.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mr. B. Stand the next door.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Mr. Beast, come check out the channel.

[H. Foley]

Fastest growing channel. Got NOS on it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

This got nice, baby. We beat him the first race. The second race, he car didn't blow up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Car handled itself.

[Ralph Barbosa]

No. So I think the first race, we were, like, on a 75 shot of NAS. Uhhuh. And then after we realized the car would survive that one, we Were like, all right, well, let's. Let's put, like, 100 shot of NOS or like, 150 shot. I don't remember 100 shot. And. But the car didn't want to start anymore, so we had to. Keep your foot on the gas to keep it running. And I. That my buddy raised the first time I raced him the second time. And I was asking my buddy because he. The way he did the first race was he shifted down from, like, he was in neutral. He floored it. Then he shifted down to, like, one, then brought it up to two. Then to drive. I'm. I didn't know if that was really, like, the best method. I would have just gone straight to drive. So I asked him. I was like, how do you want me to do it? And he's like, look, just floor it now. Shift it. And I was like, all right, it's your car, bro. I got. I. My reaction time is pretty quick. I floored it as soon as the guy's hands were going down, but my buddy shifted late, so we gave him two car lanes, so he was already ahead, and he got the jump on us. And we were still catching up because we were, like, maybe two seconds into the race, and I just went full.

[H. Foley]

Hard on the boss.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, I was just like, right away.

[Kevin Ryan]

Where is that? On the thing? You got your hand on the wheel? And. And the. The.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Well, we didn't, like. We. We had a button that, like, activates the NOS wires or whatever. The. But then there's another button that actually, like, releases.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Where's the trigger?

[Ralph Barbosa]

It's just hanging off a wire in my hand.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Like on a clicker.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'd want it on the. On the wheel.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah, we didn't have time to.

[H. Foley]

They did this. Oh, they did this on the drive to Houston. They didn't have time to reset.

[Kevin Ryan]

So you're one hand in the wheel.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I. One hand on the wheel, and then one hand on, like, the trigger. Wires and trigger. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Regulators, the triggers.

[Kevin Ryan]

So when you hit that, do you immediately get your both hands on the wheel so you can control it?

[H. Foley]

Is it, like, fast and furious where you snap back?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah, you can feel it a little bit, but it's not. It's nothing crazy.

[H. Foley]

You're not like, oh, it's like everything doesn't go warp speed by you.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah.

[H. Foley]

Unless you're driving like, damn, Tyrese, you're a liar.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, you. Tyrese Gibson.

[Kevin Ryan]

So you hit that.

[H. Foley]

I didn't say his last.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then the car. The car blew up.

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, it was it was going, it was catching up. We were gaining on the. On the dude. We're gonna pass him up and then the motor just dies. It just goes silent. And then like, what the. And then right after we pass the finish line, we're. He's. He's. He's pretty ahead. Like two. Two cars ahead, three cars. Because he got the start on us. Then we start gaining on him. Gaining on him. We're on his. We're on his quarter panel. We're on his quarter panel. And then the car just dies. And so he wins the race. And then right when we pass the finish line, the motor kicks in again. I didn't know this. Apparently that can happen because you don't purge the nos. Like you got to. You got to relieve the.

[H. Foley]

Or whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's like a shark. After you kill, it can still bite you.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nat Geo, I thought that was pretty good.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't think that's what it's like. There's air in the.

[H. Foley]

Nice try though, big dog.

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, no, actually that does make sense because it. All right, so check this out. So this is what. Apparently there's like air in this that gets in the system.

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh.

[Ralph Barbosa]

So if you've ever seen like in the movies or like if you ever see like drag races, sometimes they spray the NOS out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And you just, you like just spray out. It looks cool, right?

[H. Foley]

Like you gotta bleed the line.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You gotta bleed the line.

[H. Foley]

Come on, dog.

[Kevin Ryan]

There you go.

[H. Foley]

How you doing?

[Ralph Barbosa]

That's that white trash and you coming out.

[H. Foley]

That is. That's it for me.

[Kevin Ryan]

You stabbed me in the.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That. So we didn't. Apparently that's what like, fucked up. There's like air in the line.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

So that's why the motor died, I think.

[H. Foley]

Rookies, dude.

[Ralph Barbosa]

So we, we parked the car.

[H. Foley]

This is the trashiest conversation I've ever been.

[Kevin Ryan]

You came in here saying how you were gonna turn it all around.

[H. Foley]

I know.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'm an engineer now.

[H. Foley]

It's got a lab coat on. Who are your boys? You roll? Yeah. This is the first time you came with a. You came with a goon squad.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, yeah.

[H. Foley]

Two good looking guys, by the way.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, they're also part of the Formula Bean crew. So Formula Bean is me and my buddy Luis, who. Damn. Maybe I am trash because Luis, who's username_af on Instagram, which is a horrible username. He was. He's an engineer. He worked for Lockheed Martin.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And I convinced him to quit his job and start this YouTube channel with me.

[H. Foley]

How many subs do you have?

[Ralph Barbosa]

We have. We have a lot. Like, over. Over 300k.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

That's that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wait, when did you start?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Hold on.

[H. Foley]

I didn't want you to. Your boy to quit his job and then you guys, like, 1500 or something.

[Kevin Ryan]

He'll get there.

[Ralph Barbosa]

To be fair, that channel, before it was Formula Bean, it was just his automotive channel. Oh, okay, so we already. We cheated, you know?

[H. Foley]

Yeah. So, okay, so he had his own automotive channel. You were like, yo, let's quit. Let's put some knots on this thing and get cooking.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now, the key's good.

[Ralph Barbosa]

This was his idea.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's good on YouTube. You. You have all my faith.

[H. Foley]

No, you're great.

[Kevin Ryan]

That'll blow up. But Mickey, guy quit his job.

[H. Foley]

You don't respect that.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I. It's because his channel was already doing good. His Tick Tock and Instagram is doing pretty good. But I'm like, I don't think he's gonna go to the next level until you start.

[H. Foley]

Until we start blowing up 600 cars. Quit that job. Give up your pension.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'm like, bro, until you do this, like, all day, every day, like, you gotta say goodbye to the job 100%. He was like, it. It took, like, a year of convincing him.

[Kevin Ryan]

What did he do with Lockheed? An engineer.

[Ralph Barbosa]

He was an engineer there. But he can't tell me a lot about his job, of course. Yeah, they did. Like, when he quit. They even, like, debriefed them. They're like, you can't.

[H. Foley]

Is that what they do in Men in Black?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Noralize them.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But, yeah, we. We parked the car after the race. Like, as soon as. I mean, we didn't even park it. It died. And it's funny.

[Kevin Ryan]

Locky thinks, like, he's going to work for, like, a competitor or something like that.

[H. Foley]

He's going to work for Stark Industries.

[Kevin Ryan]

You on a dirt road in Houston.

[H. Foley]

High as.

[Kevin Ryan]

You guys are, I think we're okay.

[H. Foley]

You guys are in the car on the back of the truck.

[Kevin Ryan]

We are Drone. Behind you, Kev. Let's talk about bluechew, baby.

[H. Foley]

I'm hard right now.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, take it from me. Get a little bit older, you start putting on a little weight, you could use a little help in the gym. You know what I mean?

[H. Foley]

Little kick in the pants.

[Kevin Ryan]

Little kick in the pants, man. There's nothing wrong with it if, you know, you got that special time coming up. You got that nice dinner, you're going out to a nice movie. It's your anniversary. It's Valentine's Day. It's the start of the fall. It's the middle of August. Whatever.

[H. Foley]

I got an idea. What if you're lonely and you just want to edge all night? Just do.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, go ahead and do that.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Sir.

[H. Foley]

This is a town hall meeting.

[Kevin Ryan]

For the love of God. Talking about romance, love. Gang, if you need a little help in the bedroom, do yourself a favor. Get over to Blue Chew. It's absolutely fantastic. You know, we've been talking about it for years. You know, you've wanted to try it. If you haven't tried it, try it. I guarantee it's going to change. You're not going to know what to do.

[H. Foley]

Mm. And this isn't just about performance. This is about legacy. Or third Legacy. Give her group chat. Something to talk about. Which, by the way, trying to tell.

[Kevin Ryan]

The girls that it's a salon.

[H. Foley]

Uh huh. Yeah. So you know when you lay it down and they're talking about how it gets up, man, this. Nothing makes you more of a legend than a little Bluetooth. Discover your [e-mail] and right now we got a special deal for AYG listeners. As always, you get your first month for free of Blue Ball Bluechew for free when you use the promo code garbage at checkout and pay just the five bucks for ship. And that's it, baby. Join BlueChews mission to upgrade humanity one thrust at a time. Head to bluechew.com for details and safety info. And big thanks to Bluetooth for sponsoring the podcast.

[Kevin Ryan]

Thank you, kp. You like or frames?

[H. Foley]

Who don't like aura frames?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yo, That's a great question. Who doesn't like Warframes? Who doesn't like the greatest gift in the world to give? I don't know, your mom, your grandmother, your aunt, your uncle, your cousin, your sister. If you have a sister. If you got kids, if she got kids. They're the best gifts ever for anybody in your family. Is an aura digital frame. They throw it up on the mantle. You know what the best is? You put it in the kitchen on the countertop. That way when grandma is sitting there cutting up the vegetables for the soup that she makes, she gets to see. Oh, look at that. Okay, Little Jimmy's doing the. The. You know, he's playing football, he's doing.

[H. Foley]

A worm, he's doing his stanky leg.

[Kevin Ryan]

Doing the freak nasty. Either way, you know what I'm saying?

[H. Foley]

Sure. Listen, I gotta do.

[Kevin Ryan]

What am I, a dickhead?

[H. Foley]

I got an even better idea. Now's the perfect time because everybody did their summer vacations oh, my God. Take this. Take all the pictures from your summer vacation. Load them up there. Give them to your Gaga, your nana, your memo.

[Kevin Ryan]

She can't get a walker on a beach.

[H. Foley]

Let her relay. Oh, my God. My whole family, they're there. Turks and Caicos, getting a fist fight with another family.

[Kevin Ryan]

If you're looking for a little face, throw someone to your ex. Let them know how you're living. Dog.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Start reliving your favorite family memories by visiting auraframes.com for a limited time. Our listeners get 35 off their bestselling Carver mat frame. That's Aura. Aura frames.com promo code. Garbage. Support the show by mentioning us a checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Do it where we blew it up. We didn't. I mean, how would.

[Kevin Ryan]

When you say blow up, how did it blow? Like blow up.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Blow up. So this is the part where it didn't. I don't think the motor blew up. I think the motor's okay. The motor? Yeah, the motor is okay. We blew up the coupler. Like the piping.

[H. Foley]

I don't get you, coupler. Gonna get you the pipe.

[Ralph Barbosa]

The pipe blew up to the turbo. Because when. When the car finally died right after the race, I pulled over to the side of the road and I was telling them. I was like, bro. I was clicking the noz so much that the little trigger was like bending backwards. It's like. So I had to let off. And when I was explaining that to him, I clicked it twice because the car was off. So in my mind, I'm like, yeah, the car's just turned off, you know, but apparently the NOS was still spraying. So when I tried to turn the car back on, it just had no sitting there. And when I try to turn it back on, you just see, like a little fireball.

[H. Foley]

Just poof.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Like real quick.

[H. Foley]

It wasn't too bad, but yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

So then you push it back in the trailer and that's it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah. And it started raining, so we're just. We lost the race. It's all raining.

[Kevin Ryan]

What was at stake for this race? I think cash.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah. 50 bucks.

[Kevin Ryan]

50?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah. We broke even because I won the first race, but then I lost the second one.

[H. Foley]

It's a big day down there. Barbosa Industries.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It's not. It's formula being formula.

[H. Foley]

I apologize. Which is a subsidy of bar, of.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Course, formula being innovative technologies.

[Kevin Ryan]

I have one last question when we get to some. Some listener questions. Since we have you here. The one thing I haven't seen with. With. With the hangouts at the House. Who's doing the cooking down there?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, I guess whoever feels like cooking. I don't really eat the food, though. I don't trust these guys.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean? Like, there's not. There's not somebody. There's not somebody's mom or aunt or dad or uncle that's making. Making some. I figured it would be good.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah. That day, I think my photographer, videographer dude, my buddy Enrique, I think he was cooking that day, but then he'd switch off with somebody else. I didn't eat the meat.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's the. That's the element you're missing down there, the cook. You gotta have somebody cooking.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Are you trying to join the crew?

[Kevin Ryan]

No. No, I wouldn't want me to do. You should have somebody's aunt, somebody's mom, somebody's girl should be doing heavy cooking for everybody.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't know. My stepmom, she made lentils that day.

[Kevin Ryan]

Lentils?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah. I love lentils. You don't like lentils?

[Kevin Ryan]

Lentils? What are you. You're down there in Texas Latin culture, You should have the things going.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I mean. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I mean, is that, like. Is there a Mexican dish with lentils or you just eating just straight lentils?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't know if it's all Mexican households, but in my house, lentils with stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But I'm also just. I like lentils. I'll ask for them. You get some lentils. You know, you buy a razor. It's a good Fourth of July.

[H. Foley]

It's not a bad weekend.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got fireworks, I assume.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, a lot of fireworks. We had lost some. I had a bunch left over. But I live out in the country, so you can pop them whenever.

[H. Foley]

Nobody's gonna say, sure, yeah, we bought them in Tech. Didn't we buy them in Texas? And then we weren't sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

Vegas. We bought them in Nevada.

[H. Foley]

I thought, no, because we took them to Nevada. We bought them in Texas, and then we weren't sure where he could light them off. And then, like, we were just gonna pull over. Unless we were in a tour bus. We were just gonna pull over on the side of the road. And it was like. We felt bad about asking the tour bus driver to, like, be the getaway guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was also around the time of the fires.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, there's a lot of fire. I'm like, I don't want to burn the perfect time.

[Ralph Barbosa]

They got bigger fires to worry about.

[H. Foley]

Roman candle. Yeah, we were just. And we just gave them to the. We gave them to the driver because we got to LA and We had no. We were like, then I can't fly back to New York with a.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That driver pulled over somewhere.

[Kevin Ryan]

He did.

[H. Foley]

He was like, oh, yeah, I'll take him for sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, as a. Just a quick check in. Yeah. It seems like things are classing up down there a little bit.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Was there something you had in mind that was going to turn this around.

[H. Foley]

Besides the bean tail?

[Kevin Ryan]

The hair looks.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, look at my hair, huh? You know, actually I didn't drink in a couple weeks, so.

[H. Foley]

But you're in New York. You're letting your. Is this the last obligation you have for the day?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Are you gonna go get up after this?

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, no, this is my last beer.

[H. Foley]

Oh, really?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah. I'm a classy guy.

[H. Foley]

I don't know if you've heard.

[Ralph Barbosa]

When's the last time you got up?

[H. Foley]

It's been a while. I just had a kid, so it's been. It's been.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, congratulations.

[H. Foley]

Thank you. It's been a couple of weeks.

[Ralph Barbosa]

How old is your kid? Did we talk about your wife being pregnant last time I was here?

[H. Foley]

I don't know. I don't know. But you sounded like you had a hand in it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

We talked about your huge.

[H. Foley]

Long last time you accused me of having one, which you were wrong.

[Kevin Ryan]

Your wife being pregnant last night. Did I let you in on that?

[H. Foley]

I can't remember. How's my little kid doing, by the way? I think that clip actually, I think that clip went viral of you going, I want to see your dick. And I was like. And he goes, you're going to need those glasses. Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

How old's your little one?

[H. Foley]

He's. He's 38. Our little one beat my dick. He's eight weeks old.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, man.

[H. Foley]

So I got. Thanks. I got drunk a couple times within that eight weeks, but not as much as I would like to. I would like to be having a couple of beers with. But I'm not a one beer guy.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'd have to have like, I'm usually not either. So I'm hoping.

[H. Foley]

I'm hoping this multiplies. Use your engineering power to bring up another one.

[Ralph Barbosa]

My kid is 6 now, so I've been.

[H. Foley]

Oh, there you go.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I've been drinking a while.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is he with you at the house?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nice.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, nice. He's cool, man. My, my. He's like getting into cars, which is like a double edged sword, you know? It's like I'm happy because, like I like cars a lot.

[H. Foley]

You share the passion with him.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah. But now he's like, picky about what we drive. Like, he's just like, yo, I don't know.

[H. Foley]

What's he like driving?

[Ralph Barbosa]

We have a blue. I think I talked about it last time I was here. We have a Blue. It's a 2017 Chevy SS. So it looks like a. Looks like a Malibu, but has, like, the power of a Camaro. And it's real loud, Right. Rumbles a lot.

[H. Foley]

He likes that.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, he loves that car.

[Kevin Ryan]

But he's giving you what car he goes in, like, if you drop off at school or go to the store or something like that.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah. He's like, we need to take the blue SS out. We haven't took it out in a while. And I'm like, nah, we drive the Skyline. It's right there. It's a gtr. He's just like, yeah, but it's a lame gtr. He's like, let's take the ss. And he starts questioning my.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is he trying to get street credit? Six.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, bro.

[Kevin Ryan]

I like it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

This kid is. He's evil sometimes. You know, I wear, like, my shades and, like, a hat sometimes when we go to the mall. Yeah. I don't mind being approached or nothing. Like, it's cool. I like it. But when I'm with my kid, I just. I'm. I'm afraid somebody will take a picture of me without me knowing, and my kid will be in it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

So I wear, like, the hats in the shades. And the other day at the mall, he tried to take the hat. The hat off. And I was like, hey, don't do that. And I didn't know, like, I don't know what exactly he knows about my career or whatever. He was just like, why? He's like, you don't want people to know you're Ralph Barbosa? And I was like, what the hell?

[H. Foley]

Whack ass comedian. Yeah. He starts talking.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, he does. He was like. He was like, I'm gonna yell out it. I'm like, hey, everybody, this is that not funny guy.

[H. Foley]

This kid's awesome. He gets to be in whatever car he wants to be in.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude, that's pretty good.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That kid's gonna.

[H. Foley]

I heard the new special. It's not that good.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That dude's gonna make me into a man.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Finally. That's good. So funny, huh? I got. I got a few new garbage questions that we. That have, you know. You know, you're your family at this point. How do you feel about the movie Four Brothers?

[Ralph Barbosa]

The movie. That movie's pretty cool.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Yeah, that's that's not classy. I love it too, but it's not.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It kicks ass, man. I saw it when I was a kid at the movie theaters. Yeah, My uncle took us all to watch it.

[H. Foley]

That's Mark Wahlberg at his. Mark Wahlbergus, that is.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I was thinking about that movie the other day.

[H. Foley]

It's so bad. It's so good.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It's.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, it's Andre 3000.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Tyrese. That was his best role.

[H. Foley]

Shout out, Tyrese.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I love you, Tyrese Gibson.

[H. Foley]

Tyrese is getting it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

My favorite line in that movie is when I think the detectives are, like, talking, describing each brother, and when they talk about Mark Wahlberg, they're like, if he ever had a daddy, he would have made him proud.

[H. Foley]

Bobby Mercer.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, I say that to, like, my friends who don't have dads out of daddy. You made him proud, boy.

[Kevin Ryan]

It is the. It is the. The worst. The worst movie. The worst quotable movie. Does that make sense? A movie that's so bad but so quotable.

[H. Foley]

So, yeah, I say it all the time. The bad guy in it was. I don't know who he is. A pretty big. I forget his name, but pretty big actor, but he was just so over the top.

[Ralph Barbosa]

He was. He made the guy. He made his crew, like, eat, like, dogs.

[H. Foley]

Dog food. Yeah. Eat off the. Yeah, eat it like the dogs that you are. But he goes, I like the way you do business. I say constantly, they meet on, like, lake. Lake Erie or something to fight, and then they bury them. It's great.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That was.

[H. Foley]

That was Bobby Mercer. Mark Wahlberg walks out of nowhere.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That's. Every time that I see people arguing about politics online. I'm like, they need a fucking. Four brothers this year. Fucking Donald Trump and whoever the fuck wants to come against him. And then just. Y' all go to the ice.

[H. Foley]

Just go to the ice. Just. Just have a boxing match.

[Kevin Ryan]

You used to do the. They set mom up.

[H. Foley]

They set her up.

[Kevin Ryan]

And he used to fucking drive me. I'd be like, yeah, it's good.

[H. Foley]

They realized it was a setup in the corner store. They realized it was a hit.

[Kevin Ryan]

And you would explain it every time, like, yeah, man, I seen the fucking movie.

[H. Foley]

Set her up. They set my up. That's the greatest line in cinematic history.

[Ralph Barbosa]

They set my up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it's pretty good.

[H. Foley]

Okay, do you re. What do you call the strip club? Not that you go. You're. Whatever. Do you call it a strip joint? A strip club. A titty bar.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I just call it the strip club. Okay. Yeah. Straight up or we say in Spanish, las carinosas.

[H. Foley]

That's pretty. That's classy.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's nice.

[Ralph Barbosa]

The most interesting man in the world.

[Kevin Ryan]

What does that exactly translate to?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Carinhosas means, like. How do you describe it? Like, they're very sexual, you know, voluptuous. Not necessarily sexual. Like, what is it when somebody's like, like, real sweet and, like, affectionate? Affectionate. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, I got you.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It's like the affection.

[Kevin Ryan]

The affectionate house.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Oh, man. Big man slipping out of his seat over here. Do you.

[Kevin Ryan]

I just need a hug, you know?

[H. Foley]

Do you. Do you enjoy those or just call it therapy? I call it Tuesday, baby.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah, actually, not really.

[H. Foley]

Not in your wheelhouse?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah, because they're. They're on the. A job, you know? I like to find love. I like to go to bars and meet women who are also trying to find love. Sure.

[H. Foley]

Is that how you do it? Are you single? If you don't.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'm single, yeah. Yeah, I'm single. And am I in love? Maybe.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, there you go.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah. Crushing. I'm crushing on the girl right now.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Forbidden love. I don't think it'll ever happen.

[Kevin Ryan]

Unrequited. Yeah. Does she like you back?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I think she does.

[H. Foley]

Unrequited loving.

[Kevin Ryan]

The time of cholera.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You're just trying to make me feel even more trashier. No humming.

[H. Foley]

He's like, nah, she's out of jail right now.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean? You just explained the word to me.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Acquitted.

[H. Foley]

No, all the charges were dropped. And my son's not. Doesn't know anything about comments.

[Ralph Barbosa]

How do you know about that?

[Kevin Ryan]

You just explained a word in Spanish to me.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, yeah, you educated me. Yeah, but then you said unacquitted.

[Kevin Ryan]

Unrequited. Unrequited love. Like love that you're not getting back.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Unrequited.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That's what that means.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Hit him with that.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Did your therapist teach you that word?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it's from a book. I didn't read that.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I tell people I read unrequited. I'm gonna use that on. Was the love unrequited? If it wasn't unrequited, that's assault brother.

[H. Foley]

Movie Madison, I dare to touch your boobs. It's assault brother.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, yeah. I don't. Now we. We talk.

[H. Foley]

You're a little.

[Kevin Ryan]

Little.

[H. Foley]

You're a little taken back. I like this. A little. A little flustered.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah. I don't know. We'll see where it goes.

[Kevin Ryan]

You said it's a little bit of forbidden love as well.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I just. I say that about every girl, it just makes it sound more dramatic.

[Kevin Ryan]

It does, right? Yeah. Make it sounds like it's the boss's girl or something like that.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, yeah. Her dad and my dad are opposing politicians. I tell you guys, my. My dad is running for president. Next. Next. The next. Next.

[H. Foley]

You don't even know the year. Next one.

[Kevin Ryan]

Next semester.

[H. Foley]

Okay. Have you ever posed for a picture with a cigar?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Hell yeah.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Cigars kick ass.

[H. Foley]

I don't know why, but every time I've ever had one, I'm like, the.

[Kevin Ryan]

World needs to eat.

[H. Foley]

And meanwhile, I'm like coughing and I. You feel so cool.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'm pretty sure my friends get annoyed with it. But anytime I get a cigar, I immediately like top. When the cigar is still full, you got to do like mob boss. Yeah. It's real like rich guy. I gotta like, hey, rezone the area.

[H. Foley]

Get these poor people out of their homes.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But when the cigar is like below half, then you gotta start going like saber tooth. Like, sure. Tornado claw.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, they're like crunched up. Boxing corner gal.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're not gonna make it. Yeah. Definitely does have stages to this.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Talent.

[Kevin Ryan]

Kid.

[H. Foley]

Do you keep cigars at the house or how often are you having one, do you think?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah, very rarely. If I go to like Vegas and.

[H. Foley]

We'Re seeing a dirt bag thing, but you feel like you need to smoke one in vet, it's like, because you.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Can smoke it indoors.

[H. Foley]

I get it. Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But I would smoke one at home, but I'm like, I gotta go outside. I'm not gonna do all that. I don't. Laziness got me to stop smoking weed.

[H. Foley]

Because I'm like, you're done. You're not smoking weed.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Ah, I don't want to go all the way outside just to smoke.

[Kevin Ryan]

Because you couldn't smoke in the house.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, I mean, I don't want to do that to the house either. Like, I'm sure, like, I.

[H. Foley]

He might be classy. Cigars in Vegas, you guys.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I don't even put any of the car stuff as non classy. I like all that. Like, I think, you know, that's how you grew up. You have that out, you know you have that.

[H. Foley]

To be fair, that's not classy. I'm pretty sure he's working on all these in his front yard.

[Ralph Barbosa]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, but he has a private. Yeah, he has that garage.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Breaking his balls.

[Kevin Ryan]

Relax.

[H. Foley]

I'll rezone you.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I will to. To discredit my own self. I will admit I think last time I was here Maybe the first time I was here I talked about a couple cars that I bought that were like very low mileage and. And like I had an impala with like 1800 miles on it. I have less of that now and I have just more Facebook marketplace projects.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, you're buying.

[Kevin Ryan]

You did have a couple of somewhat.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You had like some valuable like it was like. Oh, it's never been driven now.

[Kevin Ryan]

What happened to those?

[Ralph Barbosa]

They're not fun. They only keep their value if you don't drive them, you know?

[Kevin Ryan]

Right.

[H. Foley]

Oh, that's pretty.

[Kevin Ryan]

So you got rid of them?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Beaters.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah. Now I don't want to buy a car unless it like how many.

[Kevin Ryan]

So you can like around with it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah. How many cars I have like 11, 12.

[H. Foley]

How many could you drive right now?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Four.

[H. Foley]

Okay. How many out of those four, how many are insured and inspected and registered?

[Ralph Barbosa]

One.

[Kevin Ryan]

Out of those.

[H. Foley]

How many does your son like? Oh, wow.

[Kevin Ryan]

So you have the two that would be like if you just had normal cars would be your cars. The two that you mentioned? The two that, that.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah, I, I have. So like the one that's the most reliable car. It's insured. It's also probably my most expensive car is the, the GTR. It's an R35. That's like my. What's that go for this. She says the most expensive, probably like 120 grand.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's older though. Right.

[Ralph Barbosa]

So 20. 24.

[Kevin Ryan]

A 20. Say the. Say it again.

[Ralph Barbosa]

What.

[Kevin Ryan]

What kind of car is it?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nissan GTR. R35.

[Kevin Ryan]

GTR.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I wouldn't even know what that looks like.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, it looks like pull it up. It looks kick.

[Kevin Ryan]

See it Because I picture them all.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Old, like late models now the other cars are pretty older. It's that car and then everything else is just like.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can I see it?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Like 90s.

[H. Foley]

Oh, you don't have your contacts in.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

So you can be in it and not see it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, one of my contacts in.

[H. Foley]

That's like a Civic. Yeah. Looking car. Like a Honda. You're gonna.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Ever.

[Kevin Ryan]

So you could go anywhere.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Walk out of your podcast.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a normal car. That's a normal nice car.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah. Gotcha.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. And then. So you don't want to waste money.

[H. Foley]

No wonder why your son doesn't want to be in that thing.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wait, that's the one he doesn't want to be in.

[Ralph Barbosa]

So. Nah, he don't want to go in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's crazy.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It's not loud. He says it doesn't make any Noise.

[H. Foley]

He's got a stunt on these at the mall.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know, but he should know that people that know know. That's.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That's what I tell him.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

So I started calling it the Batmobile and he kind of likes it sometimes. He likes muscle, he likes cars that like.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really.

[Ralph Barbosa]

He also likes Lamborghinis. He says I should buy a Lamborghini.

[H. Foley]

Is that ever in the cards?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I mean, maybe one day, but I feel like if I was gonna buy a Lamborghini, it was either gonna be that or the gtr. I don't. I don't think I could afford to buy both. You know what I mean? My son was like, you need to make more money.

[Kevin Ryan]

Stop with those whack ass jokes and get out there.

[H. Foley]

You want to start cutting hair again?

[Ralph Barbosa]

He says I should trade in the GTR for a Lamborghini, but man, blasphemy.

[H. Foley]

Do you have anybody?

[Kevin Ryan]

Six year old, got a lot to say. I like this kid.

[H. Foley]

Kid's wise beyond his calling the shots.

[Ralph Barbosa]

He's stressing me out.

[H. Foley]

Need a drink. Do you have anybody? W. You have somebody. You have a business manager, an accountant or somebody overseeing funds, right?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Ralph Barbosa]

The guy's angry. N. I'm doing better this year though, what with spending.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, yeah and yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'm making less money, but I'm spending less.

[H. Foley]

Okay. I don't know. Welcome to planet Barbosa, everybody.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hell yeah, I'm making less money, but I'm spending less.

[H. Foley]

Man, you gotta spend money.

[Kevin Ryan]

Put that on my headstone.

[H. Foley]

Woo.

[Kevin Ryan]

My man. There you go.

[H. Foley]

Live ticket sales are good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Clean it. Only me. I like it. Yeah, but it's talking about trade coffee.

[H. Foley]

Oh, trade em up coffee.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now we are what we call over here at Tudy's a cold brew family.

[H. Foley]

We're a coffee crew or a well caffeinated squad.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I wasn't aware that you could have beans specifically roasted for cold brew.

[H. Foley]

I know.

[Kevin Ryan]

Thank God there's trade coffee to tell.

[H. Foley]

Me that they wired you up.

[Kevin Ryan]

They wire you up, they'll send it right to your door and they'll also give you the gear to make the best cold brew that you're ever going to have. We had it. Let me tell you something. Those other people that we usually go.

[H. Foley]

To, I'm not going to mention any names.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're going to be out of business. Trade coffee's taking over.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. When it arrives, you just scoop it into a pitcher with enough water, you store it in the fridge overnight. Wake up and something that tastes as delicious as you. Your favorite coffee shop. It is that easy. Cut out the middleman.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do it at home.

[H. Foley]

You're throwing. You're throwing all this money to all these big companies and corporations don't care about you. Do it at the crib for a limited time. Trade is giving 50 off a month of cold brew. That's around 60 cups of cold brew for 50 off. When you go to drinktrade.comgarbage that's drinktrade.comgarbage. to get 50 off one month at cold brew. Drinktrade.comgarbage. do it. My.

[Ralph Barbosa]

My next tour has seven cities on it. And my fans were kind of upset. They were commenting stuff. They were like, this is not a tour. It's a pit stop. I like, I'm tired, man. Right.

[H. Foley]

You've been working for like five years straight.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I got. I got eight, six cars that don't run that I need to focus on.

[H. Foley]

I got my kid breaking my.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got one insurance policy for 11 cars.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I got. I got to spend some time at home.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Okay. That's good. So you're taking a little bit of a break.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah. Okay. I got seven shows from here until the end of the year.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah. I might add some here and there.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But for the most part, I just.

[H. Foley]

You know what? You do that. I. That I see. I don't know if it's strategic, just whatever. But it's all. It's very cool.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Sex tapes keep coming back, baby. I do those all the time.

[H. Foley]

Okay. This intentional. You'll do the pop ups at, like, zany or wherever you're in. You'll do like I'm doing. Hey, I'm doing a show this weekend at so and so.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, I'll just. I'll be having fun in that city.

[H. Foley]

That's. That's really cool.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, I like, yeah, Chicago. We do it a lot in Chicago. Or like Houston, California a lot. We'll just be like, you know what? It. Let's just add a show here. Or like last time we were in San Francisco and we're like, man, we're close enough to sack. Let's just add a show and sack. And then we ended up doing like four or five shows.

[H. Foley]

Damn.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It was fun. Good.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right.

[H. Foley]

It also reminded me one thing. You were. Somebody critiqued something and then you publicly started on them.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Which I called them gay.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Which I respect. Somebody. Somebody. I forget what it was. Somebody had a critique and then he. He took. He took it public.

[Ralph Barbosa]

He sent me like a long paragraph, so I just thought it'd Be funny that he wrote all this stuff and I just wrote back, you're gay. But the thing is, like, it just bothered me because one, he was complaining that I. That I didn't do enough time and that he thought I was headlining the show.

[H. Foley]

Was it your son?

[Ralph Barbosa]

And it's like, all right, one, I was never billed as the headliner is me and my buddy Renee were co headlining.

[H. Foley]

It was a really cool looking tour.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, it was fun.

[H. Foley]

Great.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, we were just out there acting buck wild man. And two, he was saying that like Renee and that our other comedians on the show were not like, worthy of performing in theaters. That they're more like club whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who the. This guy.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That's what I'm saying.

[H. Foley]

Like this, he's like, you should have.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Done more time and like all this, all this stuff and like, I just want to see you perform. He's like. Then he was mad because I didn't stick to my material, because I did. He said I did like three or four jokes and then just started doing crowd work. And it's just like the.

[Kevin Ryan]

Picking you apart.

[H. Foley]

Get off my back, buddy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Also hated the shirt you were wearing.

[H. Foley]

They don't like the new haircut.

[Ralph Barbosa]

He's like, you need to buy a new black shirt. Your black shirt was faded. It was charcoal at the least. But it's just like, bro, like, you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Know, that's wild doing comedy.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Like. And I know it's not a crazy long time compared to a lot of comics, but at this point, I've been doing comedy like nine, 10 years. Sometimes I get a little tired of hearing my own jokes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Sometimes I just want to.

[Kevin Ryan]

With the audience having fun.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah. And the audience, for the most part was liking it. Like, we. We got a lot of good reviews, like, messages and comments and stuff about the shows after. And that's great though.

[H. Foley]

But.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, just one guy.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, dude. But it's like, how you gonna, like, tell me that my friends are not worthy of not even opening the show? Like, he's talking about.

[H. Foley]

That guy would have just complained about anything. Yeah, that's what like, we've learned too. It's just like they're gonna say something if it's the color of the lights, the backdrop. What, they're gonna say something.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah. They can't. All my shows aren't gonna, like, be the best, but I think that show is actually really good.

[H. Foley]

I thought I was killing this guy's problem three minutes. Then I ripped for 25 minutes. I was.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You know, I broke my toe. The. The, the. The night before that show. And I went to the hospital in Philly, so. So I think that guy complained.

[H. Foley]

Sorry about that.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It was, it was my fault. I kicked my friend.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did you break your toe? You proper broke your toe?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nah, I mean, it's not like broken. It's like purple still, but whatever.

[H. Foley]

Anyway, it sounds worse than broken. I got a purple.

[Ralph Barbosa]

He's gonna fall off. I, I. What happened was, in Philly, I kicked my friend, and then he threw a knee at the same time, and my toe went right into the knee. So we go to the ER in Philly at like, Penn State or something.

[H. Foley]

Universe. You Penn State?

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, you pen. It was you Penn. It was. That is the worst hospital in the world.

[Kevin Ryan]

University of Pennsylvania.

[H. Foley]

That is the best hospital in Philadelphia. You should try. I swear to God. Well, I'm saying that as that's how bad some of the hospitals are. It's crazy.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't know how anybody survives anything in Pennsylvania because I'm not making this up. I'm not making this up. We're in the waiting room and one of the nurses comes out to, like, you know, call the next patient. And as she's calling the next patient, this one lady's complaining. She's like, please, like, I've been waiting here for the long ass time. What the hell? And the nurse looks at it and goes, shut the hell up. I was like, I'm not. My toe is gone, bro.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, you're in there with a, with a boo boo on your toe body.

[H. Foley]

Unless you've, unless you've been stabbed, you did not go to a Philadelphia emergency room, right?

[Ralph Barbosa]

So they take me to the back, and the dude's like, slap you around.

[Kevin Ryan]

Break your other toe.

[Ralph Barbosa]

He's like, we'll check. Well, you know, we're gonna X ray you. And I'm like, all right. So they take me to the back, and they're like, put your chest up against the thing. And I'm like, oh, but it's. It's for my toe. And the dude's like, no, it's not.

[Kevin Ryan]

What the.

[H. Foley]

No, it's not. It's for not having heart. Get the back out there, man.

[Ralph Barbosa]

We were there first.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're gonna do is take a look at your vagina.

[Ralph Barbosa]

We're at that hospital for, like, five hours.

[H. Foley]

Never.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I just never. Yeah, yeah, I just, I just left. And then the next day, that next show was, like, in Washington. So I'm like, limping on stage, and I'm supposed to do like, half an hour, and Renee does half an hour and I was like, bro, I'm gonna do like 25 minutes, and I'm just gonna out early because I can't stand up.

[Kevin Ryan]

There you go. It's all right.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And this guy messages me after the.

[Kevin Ryan]

Show, man, you the first one. You're trying to take a couple minutes.

[H. Foley]

I got a purple toe dropping this on me.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's crazy. Well, the good news is, is that it doesn't. Sometimes when you break your toe, they can't do anything for it anyway.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

So it don't matter.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, yeah. And I ended up going, that's from.

[H. Foley]

Dr. Foley, too, so he could take that to the bank.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I went to the hospital like a week later, and now they told me it wasn't broken. They said. They said I was fine. They said, what is it? I don't know. They're like, you're gonna be all right.

[H. Foley]

Just you be all right. But.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But then I.

[H. Foley]

She.

[Kevin Ryan]

But then they were like, that's New York.

[Ralph Barbosa]

But then they were like, take some.

[H. Foley]

Lean and call me in the morning.

[Ralph Barbosa]

They were like, when did this happen? And I was like, like a week ago. And they were like, oh. They're like, nah, let's X ray it. But then they're like, nah, it's not broken. That was good. Long story short, I was fine.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'll give you a little tip next time in a. If you're ever in the ER In Philadelphia, the thing you got to do is you got to say, I'm. I feel like I'm going to pass out. That's the first thing you say. No matter what it is you say, I think I'm going to pass out because they don't want the responsibility of you passing out in the. In the. In the waiting room, buddy.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Next time I go to a. ER In Philly, I'm taking a gun, just being like, I'm gonna shoot myself. You know?

[H. Foley]

Like, man, right now, John, cue this thing.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Someone look at my boo Boo.

[Kevin Ryan]

Somebody get the splitter out of me quick or I'm gonna kill myself. That's good.

[H. Foley]

Okay. Have you ever worn a watch that didn't work?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Man style purposes? So this is, like, classy and trashy at the same time.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't think it probably is gonna be.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I wore a real Rolex, okay? But I didn't know how to set it, so the time was just off. But I'm like, hey, it's a Rolex. Because I. What time it is?

[H. Foley]

You tell somebody it's money time.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what time it is in Morocco or Something like that.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Oh, I was traveling.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Had it on my Europe time.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, there you go.

[H. Foley]

Europe time, you called it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Forgot the sun was out.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you own a Rolex?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I do, but my uncle gave it to me. I didn't buy it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Gotcha.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Sometimes I want to buy one, but I'm like, man, I don't have. I check. I know I'm not gonna check the time on it enough to feel like it was worth the investment.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Like, I'm gonna pull out. I'm gonna wear it. I'm gonna still pull out my phone to check the time.

[H. Foley]

So I'm like, nah, he's a. He's a watch guy. He wears watches a lot. Nice watches. I. I have one nice one. Like, kind of nice. I have two. One was given to me as a gift for me. No smoking.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[H. Foley]

Smoking tires out to Matt.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

One of your competitive YouTube podcasters or car podcasters. And one I bought that I just. I wear, like, din. If I'm going out to dinner with my wife or like a wedding or something. Is the. If I'm getting dressed up. Only time I wear a watch.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Nice. Did you wear it when your son was born?

[H. Foley]

I did not.

[Kevin Ryan]

He didn't get dressed up.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I would have got dressed up.

[H. Foley]

Well, I'm like, I'm getting arrested to my son's birthday.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Wait, you got. You got a Rolex?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, no, no. You like what he says? He says nice watches. We're talking under a thousand dollars watch. Yeah. The nicest one I have, I think is about a thousand bucks. It's a Hamilton, which isn't a. Isn't a big. I just like them. I like watches.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

But I have. I haven't.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'm trying to get more into watch.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I wouldn't buy a Rolex or anything like that now.

[Ralph Barbosa]

They're crazy. They're crazy expensive.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I keep.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I keep, like, sleazy, but I just think to myself, like, if I wore this watch at a nightclub.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Rob.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Would a woman.

[H. Foley]

Oh.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Like, notice it that it's nice or not?

[Kevin Ryan]

A little bit. They're get. Yeah. Rolex. Yeah. But I think they're getting. They're getting watered down a little bit, wouldn't you say?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I feel like everybody has one be a little shiny, like. But then they don't really make a whole lot of Rolexes with diamonds. And if they do, they've got a change. Yeah. It's too much.

[Kevin Ryan]

You need a paddock is what you need. You want. You. You want to get some checks?

[Ralph Barbosa]

What I need is like a. Just a giant chain. Like, I have one, but I need a. Like a ridiculously. Like, I. Like, I spent a million dollars on something, but I need to make like 30 million to justify it. So if anybody.

[H. Foley]

Well, seven tour dates will get you there.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, my YouTube channel will subscribe to Formula Bean. So I can make $30 million.

[Kevin Ryan]

I heard most of the time those guys wear that stuff. It's all fake in case they get robbed. That's what we should be doing. We should start wearing fake.

[H. Foley]

I know.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know the difference.

[Ralph Barbosa]

One of my buddies.

[H. Foley]

Mexican ot.

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, no, I love that. That guy.

[H. Foley]

That guy's. He's in the. He's in the ring with the bulls.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And that guy has to be wearing real jewelry. Yeah, I've seen his jewelry. He's so, like, I think. I don't know if it's like, to show the jewelry off or he just thinks it's funny. But like, we'll. We'll be sitting there and it's like some duck, duck, goose. Like, he'll just walk up to somebody randomly and put his jewelry on them. And that person would just wear it, like, whatever the. Damn. My buddy Jaime will start impersonating OT when he has it, but. I don't know. It's funny. But. Yeah, My drug dealer friend, Gary, his name rhymes with. He. He told me he would wear. Ah, he's in jail. He told me he would wear fake jewelry to the club because he was just always like, being looked at. Yeah, yeah. Fake gold, fake diamonds, all that stuff. He said he has, like, real jewelry, but he would never wear it out to, like, bars.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then what happened?

[H. Foley]

But then you get robbed for the fake stuff, and then it's like, all for not.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, here's the thing. I'd say you see you with a lady, all right, you got the fake stuff on, you're looking cool. Did some bottle service.

[H. Foley]

Cool guy. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Had a nice dinner, some coconut shrimp, whatever.

[H. Foley]

I don't think people are putting their million dollar chain on. Going to get coconut shrimp and then going before.

[Kevin Ryan]

You don't have the million dollar stuff when you got the fake stuff.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Wear a million dollar stuff to Chili's.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. What the Fuck do the 2 for 20 deal?

[Kevin Ryan]

Still with a coupon. So then you come out of the club.

[H. Foley]

That's just what you do.

[Kevin Ryan]

Here's what happens. You come out of the club, you got like five girls with you, all right? You got all, you got all the jewelry on. All of a sudden they roll up on you the ops.

[H. Foley]

The ops come get them going crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

They come get you, and you're just casually. Yeah, man, don't worry about it. You just take it off real smooth.

[Ralph Barbosa]

He looks so cool in front of the girls, you know?

[H. Foley]

Yeah, yeah, but in front of the girls, Nah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why you get pitched out in front of the girls?

[Ralph Barbosa]

You. You.

[H. Foley]

Well, you know what I mean, you just gotta. You just got fucking robbed.

[Kevin Ryan]

So what?

[Ralph Barbosa]

One of the girls gonna get after you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why'd you give them your chain?

[H. Foley]

Yeah, they're gonna go blow, those guys. They got the chains under the top.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, you're gonna be calm. Be like, listen, it wasn't worth it. I wanted to make sure you ladies were safe. It's only money. It doesn't matter. What's. What's 5 million?

[Ralph Barbosa]

He's a pimp. You see that?

[H. Foley]

What's 5 million?

[Ralph Barbosa]

That was so cool.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's how much jewelry had.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That's how much jewelry.

[Kevin Ryan]

Then you get home, and you get to make out with all of them because they think that you saved your life.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Do you?

[Kevin Ryan]

I'll show you that later. I got to walk you through this.

[H. Foley]

After Ralph leaves, the real player move.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Is, like, while he's getting robbed, while he's handing the chains. And when you got to listen to see if one of the girls, like, screams or does anything, and you go, hey, hey. It's going to be all right.

[H. Foley]

That's pretty good. That just made me feel safe.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's only money. Don't worry about it. Yeah, as they know, you're outnumbered. It's not like it's one on one. Yeah, I'm talking. They pulled up heavy.

[Ralph Barbosa]

And then on the ride home, you say something. They're like, oh, my God, your jewelry. You're like, I'll buy more.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, buy more, man.

[H. Foley]

I'm trying to find some holes in that story.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right?

[H. Foley]

That's pretty good.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then the dudes are getting back to the house. Be like, fuck, it's all shit.

[Ralph Barbosa]

No.

[H. Foley]

Meanwhile, I'm back at the house, getting my dick wet, tummy full of mozzarella.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sticks, knee deep in it, and I got more fake at the house.

[Ralph Barbosa]

If I had real jewelry and I was getting robbed, I would freak out. I freak out, I start throwing up my coconut shrimp all over the damn place.

[Kevin Ryan]

Come on, man. I just bought this.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, that be doing the bottom lifting, you know? You're not scared.

[Kevin Ryan]

See, then you're not getting any.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You start to go, trust me, I've been there.

[H. Foley]

Learning. Learn a few things.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sit down, young man. Hair is Going to grow back in eventually.

[H. Foley]

My boy's an engineer. He'll fix that hair for you.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Dude, you gotta.

[H. Foley]

I'm not happy about it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not.

[H. Foley]

Listen, I'm not happy about it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Here's the thing. Do you have clippers?

[H. Foley]

Not on me, man.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I should have brought my backpack. I have like, the, the edges. At least I could have knocked off those. He. It's real easy. You just got.

[Kevin Ryan]

When you came.

[H. Foley]

His own perks. And he had a rusty and a rusty. A rusty razor.

[Kevin Ryan]

Have a couple of Lucy's floating around in the back there probably.

[H. Foley]

Dude, this happened last night. I went home and I'm here.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Look, respectfully, just sit. Sit still.

[H. Foley]

You touch my neck, I'm gonna kiss you.

[Kevin Ryan]

What, are you gonna pull it?

[Ralph Barbosa]

I'm not, I'm not gonna touch your neck. I'm just gonna show you the problem with your neck.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shit.

[Ralph Barbosa]

You have a landing strip.

[Kevin Ryan]

Man, I can't be out in the fucking club with you like this. Bad enough I got fake jewelry on.

[H. Foley]

Be getting rolled on.

[Ralph Barbosa]

No, my girl's digging. They like, rub it.

[H. Foley]

Kippy's hair's up, Mikey. Scaring away all the broads, man. This guy me up, dude.

[Kevin Ryan]

Damn. Nah, bro, I didn't realize it.

[H. Foley]

This is what happens. You have a kid and you just stop caring. Like, I, I, I don't have the energy.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a dad cut.

[H. Foley]

It is a dad cut.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Let's try.

[H. Foley]

It's a dad cut.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Dude, I don't even get haircuts no more.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's touching his coif there.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I put up, bro. My hair doesn't go back easily. This is like a gallon of hair gel and a lot of.

[H. Foley]

What's it do? Normally? Just fall for like.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, it's like.

[H. Foley]

That's gotta, that's pretty good because your hair is pretty long.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, you can train it to do that. You get out of the shower every night, brush it back like a hundred times.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Okay. Yeah, I don't have the patience for that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure you do. It takes two minutes.

[Ralph Barbosa]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, you want to make it in Hollywood? I gotta straighten the two of you out.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Hollywood? I got a YouTube channel now, baby.

[H. Foley]

Independent artist, 300k off the rip.

[Kevin Ryan]

What did he have before that?

[H. Foley]

380K? Yeah, Ralph lost. Ralph lost him 80,000 subs.

[Kevin Ryan]

This guy was talking about rockets and true.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, I think, I think he was already close. Close to that. Whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

We put them over the top.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that's funny, man. All right, we got two. We got two car related questions here for you. Okay, we gotta wrap it up. Is. Have any of your cars. I've seen it too. Where the driver's side window doesn't work. You're at the drive through. Have you ever had to like, open the door or go through the. The back window?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Back. Back in the day, Yeah. I had that problem a lot. And then I realized that changing out, like the. The window motor or like the regulators, like super easy. So I don't have that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, you can do that?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Damn.

[Ralph Barbosa]

So simple. But what I do have a problem with is my 1990 Nissan Skyline R32 is one of like, in my top three favorites.

[H. Foley]

Sounds like a calculator.

[Ralph Barbosa]

It's on the other. The driver, the steering wheels on the right side.

[H. Foley]

What?

[Kevin Ryan]

Why?

[H. Foley]

Yeah, Japanese.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Japanese.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, Japanese drive on the other side of the road too. Damn.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, they're doing crazy stuff out there.

[Kevin Ryan]

We straighten them out.

[H. Foley]

Really? They fell in line.

[Kevin Ryan]

Slap in the face. No, I respect it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

My. Myself, I go to buy anything from the drive through. I make sure my son comes with me so that.

[H. Foley]

Wait, you'll take that in the drive through? Yeah, that's gonna. Someone up.

[Kevin Ryan]

You ever get pulled over?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Just more often than the other cars, actually.

[Kevin Ryan]

You ever get pulled over just for that? If I was a cop, I'd pull you over if I saw the wheel side. Yeah, just. Just for. Just for like. What's going on here? What the you think this is?

[H. Foley]

What year do you think it is?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Dude, you ain't from around here.

[Kevin Ryan]

Your boy.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Hello now, but my son will pay for the food and, like, collect the real.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's pretty cute. I like that. Damn. It's on the other side.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I love that car, huh?

[H. Foley]

All right. This one's from T in the Blowfish. How long is too long to ride around if you get a new car? Now you. Obviously you're well versed in, you know, 1990s beaters for some reason.

[Ralph Barbosa]

That's.

[H. Foley]

That's what you like. But how long is too long to keep the new. The sales sticker on the window of the car. Oh, wait, like, you know how they have it in the back?

[Ralph Barbosa]

What?

[H. Foley]

It's like. It's 27 miles. It'll be on the back passenger, not.

[Kevin Ryan]

The thing on the. In the window.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Dude, I've never. Who's doing this?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, you take. That's not like a sticker on a hat. Yeah, get that off.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, I tell my question.

[H. Foley]

What the.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Oh, and I bought my car.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know why you've been taking it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

This food, buddy. I want to Know I want to meet this guy. I've never heard of anybody doing that.

[H. Foley]

I mean, who knows? You guys are out in the club with fake jewelry. This guy's at least got a new car.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's got a flash that I gotta.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Learn from this guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

If it's a used car and it says like 2700. And like the bubble letter stickers, you.

[H. Foley]

Had a one in front of that flex hard. That's how you do it. Juice up the price.

[Kevin Ryan]

The fake jewelry.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Look, if I had known.

[H. Foley]

Million dollar Toyota.

[Ralph Barbosa]

If I had known to keep the damn sticker on the car thing, I would have done that to my car. How long is too long? I don't think there is a too long.

[H. Foley]

See, he's coming around.

[Ralph Barbosa]

As long as the car's washed, Kick that thing on there, let everybody know you just bought a new car.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's pretty good.

[H. Foley]

It's gonna be five years old.

[Kevin Ryan]

To keep it new, I still have the dealer thing on the. Was my license plate. Because my license plate hasn't come yet. It's been like 70 days. Oh, almost 60.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I thought you're gonna say it's been like seven years.

[H. Foley]

It's still waiting.

[Ralph Barbosa]

I don't.

[Kevin Ryan]

Brand new. Oh, man.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that's it. And then have you. Do any of your cars not have a radio that you would use a Bluetooth speaker in to play music?

[Ralph Barbosa]

See, I like half of them. Bought a man. I love this car, but it has no radio. It has no speedometer. I don't know how fast I'm going. Thankfully, the. The only one that really matters to me is the. The gauge that shows you the temperature.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Ralph Barbosa]

So just. I know I'm not gonna blow up. Blow up? Yeah. I bought a 1973 Plymouth Barracuda and they wrecked into the dude's front end. Shout out to Crusty Classic Garage. That guy. That guy has a cool channel. Yeah. There's a lot of work from home, but he has a place he goes to work too.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right. I just wanna know where you drive in the car. Where do you drive a car like that? Just. You're just taking out on a Sunday.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, I'll go wherever. Go to Walmart and stuff. But I drove it home. He. He changed out the suspension for like a more modern day. Something stiffer, you know, and he put an LS in it so it can. It can get up a little bit. It's not too fast. I'm driving it home. It's like. I bought it from him. It's like two hours from where I live and I get on the highway. I'm like in the last 20 minutes of the drive and this Camry is going nuts. So I'm like, bro, I gotta show this guy up. I got like. I think it'd be kind of fun for this guy to see this car. Smoke doesn't look fast. And then like, you know, it has a power.

[H. Foley]

That's the thing with guys in fast car that they don't look fast. Right?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

This car, it's like to have a fast car that doesn't appear to be fast.

[Ralph Barbosa]

This car is pretty beat up. But mechanically it's very sound. But I mean, suspension wise, like, I almost cried, almost spun out because I'm going like a hundred something, I'm assuming. I don't know. There's no.

[H. Foley]

I was doing 95 degrees and it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Started to get kind of scary. Like, even though it had like a. Like a modern day suspension, I think it's like a QA1. I don't know. But it was still like, oh, like the front end was so light. I guess it couldn't really handle like that. I don't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

That torque, maybe that's something always in the back of your head when you're out driving around. If so someone isn't in like. Like that kind of car that looks like they want to around, there's that little friendly tension of. You want to see what's up? Do you want to see what's up?

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, I like. Especially if it's something that looks slow.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you always bite or do you ever. Are you ever just like. Nah, nah, nah. It's a nice car though.

[Ralph Barbosa]

If my son's with me, I won't, of course.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what I mean?

[Ralph Barbosa]

But other than that. Yeah, it.

[H. Foley]

Why not show that. Show that ultima who's boss.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, I love my, like, that's why I love my Chevy SS chest. It looks like a Malibu. It looks like a mom car, you know, but it. It's pretty strong. And so a lot of times when we're just driving and I'm not flooring it, you can't even hear it because you're on the highway. So somebody might be like hauling ass and they're not like calling me out or nothing, but I'm like, well, I should just.

[Kevin Ryan]

So they kind of get close to you and you.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, I'll start with them. And if they take the bait, then it's cool to like see them, their face. Like, what the.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like that thing's keeping up that old lady's killing it.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Love those moments, huh?

[H. Foley]

All right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ralph Barbosa, ladies and gentlemen.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Brand new special on Hulu.

[H. Foley]

Planet Bosa did not redeem himself.

[Ralph Barbosa]

For those of you wondering why I called it Planet Bosa, it's kind of like a Dragon Ball Z reference. They got all the Saiyans come from Planet Vegeta. So I just. I don't know. I thought it sounded cool.

[Kevin Ryan]

I like it because I feel like you do your own thing, you're in your own world and.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Yeah, yeah, we love. It's all about me. Anyway, it's not a whole lot of observational humor.

[Kevin Ryan]

Plan a post out on Hulu right now. Do yourself a favor, gang. Check it out. Ralph, we love you very much. Thank you so much for coming in. Still trash?

[H. Foley]

Yes, very much. I think he made it worse somehow.

[Kevin Ryan]

Check out the tour dates. He said he's on tour this fall. Go see him. You got seven chances.

[Ralph Barbosa]

Budweiser. Give me money.

[Kevin Ryan]

I drank this whole thing. Kimmy, what do you got for him?

[H. Foley]

Guys, our tour starts up at in. In September. Get them tickets. Are yougarbage. Com? We love you, gang.

[Kevin Ryan]

We love you. We'll see you next week. Peace.