Retail Stores Edition w/ Kippy & Foley

Summary

**Podcast Summary: "Retail Stores Edition"
Title: Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Guests: Kippy & Foley
Release Date: March 20, 2025

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1. Introduction to the Episode (00:00 - 02:10)

In the "Retail Stores Edition" of Are You Garbage?, hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley delve into the often overlooked and humorous aspects of retail work. They set the stage by humorously questioning the classiness of their guests, positioning the show as a comedic game where personalities are tested against being "GARBAGE."

Notable Quote:

• Kevin Ryan (00:00): "The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash."

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2. Hosts’ Retail Backgrounds (02:10 - 08:10)

Kevin and H. Foley share their personal experiences working in retail, providing a foundational backdrop for the episode's discussions. Kevin recounts his time as a fragrance model at Bloomingdale’s, highlighting the superficiality and challenges of being recognized solely for his appearance. H. Foley contrasts this with his role as a full-time dog at Quiznos and a cashier at Macy's, emphasizing the mundane and often underappreciated aspects of retail jobs.

Notable Quotes:

• H. Foley (02:10): "I was a seasonal employee. That's trash."
• Kevin Ryan (03:15): "I was a fragrance model, okay? At Bloomingdale."

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3. Anecdotes from the Retail Frontlines (08:10 - 23:57)

The conversation transitions into a series of humorous and relatable anecdotes about retail work. The hosts discuss the monotonous tasks, customer interactions, and the absurdities encountered on the sales floor. They touch upon the struggle of managing stock, dealing with difficult customers, and the thin line between professionalism and personal frustration.

Notable Quotes:

• H. Foley (05:25): "It was like not a chicken pesto par. It was something like that, man."
• Kevin Ryan (07:28): "I was banging back in the day. Set of boot cuts on."

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4. Listener Stories and Interactive Segments (23:57 - 47:22)

The episode features several listener-submitted stories that highlight both the comedic and challenging aspects of working in retail. These narratives range from incidents like theft strategies employed by teenagers to the dynamics of commission-based sales systems at stores like DXL and Foot Locker. The hosts analyze these stories with their characteristic humor, offering sharp observations and witty remarks about the retail ecosystem.

Notable Quotes:

• H. Foley (29:42): "That's a great retail job where you're like, I'm just a body in this store, so no one robs it."
• Kevin Ryan (45:34): "They'd ring everything up for $1, and they pay cash."

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5. Deep Dive into Specific Retail Chains (47:22 - 62:34)

Kevin and H. Foley take a closer look at various retail chains, discussing their operational quirks and customer service practices. They examine the inefficiencies of inventory systems, the challenges of maintaining customer satisfaction, and the peculiarities of store layouts. The discussion includes references to well-known brands like Bloomingdale's, Macy's, Foot Locker, Barnes and Noble, and more, providing a comprehensive overview of the retail landscape.

Notable Quotes:

• H. Foley (58:28): "You gotta be a little intelligent to work at those places. You got to know a little bit what's going on."
• Kevin Ryan (62:34): "If someone ever asked, do you have any more in the back? I would go in the back to look, but in reality, that was a free 10-minute break."

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6. Humorous Encounters and Workplace Dynamics (62:34 - 68:24)

The hosts share more light-hearted stories about their interactions with coworkers and customers. They highlight the absurdities of retail work, such as being asked to assist with products they have no intention of supporting or dealing with the unexpected behaviors of both employees and shoppers. These tales serve to underscore the unpredictable nature of working in retail environments.

Notable Quotes:

• H. Foley (64:04): "Sometimes you get people from Philly that had never left Philadelphia."
• Kevin Ryan (67:37): "You gotta be a little intelligent to work at those places."

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7. Reflections and Closing Thoughts (68:24 - End)

As the episode winds down, Kevin and H. Foley reflect on the shared experiences in retail, acknowledging both the challenges and the unique camaraderie that comes with such jobs. They provide a humorous yet insightful commentary on why retail can be both rewarding and exasperating, ultimately emphasizing the importance of appreciating those who work behind the scenes in these establishments.

Notable Quotes:

• Kevin Ryan (69:01): "We'll see you next week."
• H. Foley (68:24): "Gang, gang, we love you to death, huh?"

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Conclusion

The "Retail Stores Edition" of Are You Garbage? offers a comedic yet sincere exploration of the retail industry through the eyes of its hosts and their guests. By sharing personal anecdotes, listener stories, and insightful commentary, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley provide an entertaining and relatable look into the world of retail work, all while maintaining the show's trademark humor and candidness.

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Additional Highlights:

• Humor and Banter: The episode is peppered with witty exchanges and playful ribbing between the hosts, enhancing the comedic value.

• Engagement with Listeners: By incorporating listener-submitted stories, the hosts foster a sense of community and relatability.

• Comedic Insights: Beyond humor, the episode offers subtle critiques of retail practices, shedding light on systemic issues within the industry.

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This summary encapsulates the essence of the "Retail Stores Edition" episode, providing a comprehensive overview for those who haven't tuned in while preserving the humor and key discussions that define the show.

Transcript

[Kevin Ryan]

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are you Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RU Garbage. Oh, yeah. It's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find it at the group to be classy.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Or if they're just a big old piece of trash.

[H. Foley]

Trash, trash, trash, trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm your host. A trolley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Toties in a new edition. She's out starting a new job today.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Gold's gym trainer.

[H. Foley]

Respect it.

[Kevin Ryan]

She's got the winch. Draw if you need it. Mike Hoes is coming at you from across the table. It's what we call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos and the homies. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international businessman and an international man of mystery. Ooh. I don't know where he was last night. Give it up for KJ Kevin. James Ryan, everybody.

[H. Foley]

What up, gang? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in as always, please make sure you rate review. Subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also full video now available on Spotify. Go over there. You can comment beep, boop boop. You can watch over there. I don't know what that means, but we're part of a creator program. Check it out.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're on the goddamn charts over there.

[H. Foley]

We are like top 50 in all podcasts or something like that. I might be flopping those numbers a little bit for marketing purposes.

[Kevin Ryan]

73 going down.

[H. Foley]

Also patreon.com Ouigarb is the greatest website of all time. You go over there, you get all that bonus content. The Route 66 tour over on air on a YouTube channel. Go check that out. That's you haven't still climbing. We appreciate share with a friend. We love you. And also the boys got a couple dates left. First show sold out in Cleveland. First show sold out Pittsburgh. Added shows this April. Get them tickies. Come hang with the boys.

[Kevin Ryan]

I forgot to mention something in your intro.

[H. Foley]

Oh.

[Kevin Ryan]

Also goes along with the episode. Former counterman at the flagship store in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. From Macy's department store.

[H. Foley]

I was a haberdasher, sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

At the Wanamaker building.

[H. Foley]

At the Wanamaker building.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's it doesn't get any bigger than.

[H. Foley]

That third floor menswear.

[Kevin Ryan]

It does get a little bigger than that. Where Bloomingdale's King Of Prussia Mall fragrance model. I would push back winner in 96.

[H. Foley]

That's how you doing now? Okay, first of all, you were a seasonal employee. That's trash. Okay? I was full time dog. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

They brought me in when they needed me.

[H. Foley]

I was banging in the summertime.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was a model. You were you, you, you. You were the fat guy. You had probably had a slice of Sparro underneath the register.

[H. Foley]

Nah, at that point I was going to fucking. I was going to Quiznos. Getting that chicken running through again. Oh, man. Getting like. That was the first time I had like real tangy sauce on a sandwich.

[Kevin Ryan]

The first time I saw an assembly line to make a sandwich. That thing was wild.

[H. Foley]

It was like not a chicken pesto par. It was something like that, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

It wasn't a kale salad.

[H. Foley]

It was not that. And a couple chocolate chip cookies. Couple two tree heaters. I'd go back and sell you. Sell you the. Out of a pair of Nike swim trucks.

[Kevin Ryan]

A little bit of brownie on the corner of your lips.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I was a big retail man. Everybody knows that. My days at Macy's.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was a model.

[H. Foley]

Stop saying that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was a fragrance model, okay? At Bloomingdale.

[H. Foley]

Oh, what do you want me to do, blow you? What do you want from me, guy?

[Kevin Ryan]

You would have wanted to back then. Spritz as he walked by, I don't know, all black. My aunt Jill got me the job. She ran the makeup counter up there. I love those ladies. I love walking through the perfume department at a department store.

[H. Foley]

I hate it because it makes me.

[Kevin Ryan]

I talk about it all the time on the show. I loved it.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, a hell of a curse.

[Kevin Ryan]

And people would recognize me. Oh, my God. What are you doing? Don't. Fragrance modeling.

[H. Foley]

That's not recognizing you. That's bumping into it. Recognize you see, this is what you do. People recognize.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is people.

[H. Foley]

You're the kid that shit his pants at the Pizza Hut.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, no, I didn't shit my pants. This one. I was different. This was peak Ross.

[H. Foley]

I'm not.

[Kevin Ryan]

Probably about a buck 69. Buck 70. 71.

[H. Foley]

I'm not saying you weren't. Stop cut me off. I'm not saying you weren't in shape, but there were people you knew. You would see.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Recognize just means, hey, that guy's been on TV before. That ain't it wasn't you. I get a reckon I see. Man, you're delusional.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was a modeling gig. I tried to parlay it.

[H. Foley]

It'd be one thing if people recognized you from the modeling gig in school. Oh, you're the guy who sprayed my mom in the eyes with. With Curve.

[Kevin Ryan]

She has a bad rash.

[H. Foley]

Now you guys are pumping. Knockoffs made my dog sick.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm selling dupes. Ckc. That CKB was a big hit, that CK one, though.

[H. Foley]

I was a polo man. Polo sport.

[Kevin Ryan]

If you wanted to call Widener University 1995. 96. You better have a little CK one.

[H. Foley]

On, you know what I'm saying?

[Unknown]

I do. I have some sad news.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[Unknown]

The Macy's at the Wandermaker Building will be closing down.

[H. Foley]

I heard that. I heard that this month. Someone messaged me, no more light show at Christmas. I gotta go back. I'm doing. I'm giving a big speech. I'm doing it for three of them sandwiches. Couple of them sandwiches.

[Kevin Ryan]

And if Raj from Quiznos was here, he would tell you the same thing.

[H. Foley]

It was like a chicken bacon man. Whatever it was had mushrooms on it. I didn't like the mushies. I told him I was allergic. Get out of here.

[Kevin Ryan]

Had some fancy name like Monterey or something like that.

[H. Foley]

It was something I ain't never seen before.

[Kevin Ryan]

Thousand Island Kippy, huh?

[H. Foley]

That there was that bar Champs right across the street in that Marriott. I'd go in there and get my chicken tenders and.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

And Diet Cokes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Pick up a bunch of chicks after your shift.

[H. Foley]

I was wearing my dad's suit. I had to wear a suit every day. Wear my dad's suit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, man. I bet your dogs were barking towards the end of that shit.

[H. Foley]

I was in, Danny. They might as well buried me. I was in my dad's suit, in Danny's old shoes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ready for the funeral, Homer?

[H. Foley]

Talk about a Goodwill kid. Jesus Christ.

[Kevin Ryan]

Call the undertaker. What I have to do is trim those eyebrows. You'd be all right.

[H. Foley]

Just so he could close the door. They're popping out. He's trying to close the door.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, man, that would suck. Dying in the suit you're buried in.

[H. Foley]

They just rolled me, right? Dude, I never told you this.

[Kevin Ryan]

We.

[H. Foley]

I. I had worked till 8:15. I think they closed at 8. I had to work till 8:15.

[Kevin Ryan]

When was this run? We're talking about retail.

[H. Foley]

We're talking retail. That's how you move. That's how you move product. Damn lighting and cheap fabric.

[Kevin Ryan]

When was this run?

[H. Foley]

What do you mean run?

[Kevin Ryan]

When you. When did you work there? When were you employed? This is in college.

[H. Foley]

My brother was in the. My brother got me the job. That's what dirt. As you know, that's what dirt bags Do. One gets in and he opens the door for the other. He was in the manager program like, like at the manager program at Bloomingdale.

[Kevin Ryan]

Of course. Now if I had, if you had to define diminishing returns.

[H. Foley]

Uh huh.

[Kevin Ryan]

The, the, the elder Ryan is a superior model to what I look across the table at every day. A good looking kid, sharp guy, good looking kid. He should be a young guy working there.

[H. Foley]

What was I as a young guy working there?

[Kevin Ryan]

Quiznos.

[H. Foley]

Okay. That's a fine establishment.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure that bacon bits on it.

[H. Foley]

All the clothes were dirty that I wore. I don't wear. I work 5 to 8. 15.

[Kevin Ryan]

When was this run? Were you in college?

[H. Foley]

I was in college.

[Kevin Ryan]

You were in college?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

So you would be in college and you'd go work in the city?

[H. Foley]

Yeah. What a loser. Working on the weekend like usual. What a loser. Dude, what do you mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

Would you be showing up late to parties with like your tie on?

[H. Foley]

I wouldn't call them parties, but I did frequent a guy that was hot.

[Kevin Ryan]

Smelling like Tom McCann's souls.

[H. Foley]

I would go, I did show up to a couple of spots. Whoa. And I remember one kid was like, you look. We were out front smoking a sink and I did my head. I was a very. No haircut, haircut kind of guy. And my buddy Patty, not bad. Not, not Pat of Pat fame. Another Pat. I was like, you look good, man. Why don't you do something with that hair? Because it's just like, he's like, just brush it aside, do something. Put a little product in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

This guy's down there selling ties like Boris Johnson. Nothing on that. Former prime minister.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, very. Yes, very, very, very Boris Johnson esque.

[Kevin Ryan]

So you worked there?

[H. Foley]

So I worked there in college. I would probably say my junior and.

[Kevin Ryan]

Senior year maybe or through the summer. Or would it, would it only be.

[H. Foley]

When you were in school through the summer? I think I might only work there a year. So it's probably like September to like a little bit in the summer. And then I'd have to drive down there. Cuz then I wouldn't live down there in the summer.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right.

[H. Foley]

So I'd live in fucking. I'd live in bucks at my, at my, my ma's house. And I would dry. I would take her. That was when I was in the Bravada. I would drive her Bravada down. I have to pay for parking. I was like 25 bucks. I was making, you know, 70 bucks a day. Between that and the Quiznos, I'm out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Of cash for the folks that aren't familiar. It's in a very nice historic building in Center City, Philadelphia called the Wanamaker Building. John Wanamaker. Wanamaker's was an old department store. Macy's bought them out. Whatever, you know, things go. This and that. Nice place. It was. Beautiful building.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, it still is. They do the Christmas things there. That was when you really wanted to put a gun in your mouth. All right, hold on. Let me. Let me. Man, they did a Christmas show every hour on the 15th. So it'd be like 1 15, 2 5th and these. Fucking mouth. What time is so coming. Little kid shitting himself.

[Kevin Ryan]

Lady, you wouldn't know a Van Heusen if it hit you in the face. Now get out of here.

[H. Foley]

You think you're Alfani material?

[Kevin Ryan]

So you didn't. It's funny. You didn't have a mall to go wander around. You had to go to the street to get your nourishment.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, huh. But that was good because you're just out, right outside. But then you're just in the streets of Philadelphia. You're just. You're catching heaters. Just fighting the. Fighting the zombies. So here, let me put this before we get into it. This. This came in from Sean. This just goes, I think, to sum up, because you were never a retail man. I mean, you were. Your modeling career, obviously. I don't want to. I don't want to, but that. That's more entertainment business. That's not.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was paid as an actor. You know. You know. You know how delusional I am. I thought.

[H. Foley]

Yes, I do. Thanks for. Thanks for checking in with me, though, after five years.

[Kevin Ryan]

So this is. This is winter break. I think either it would have had to been my freshman year, after my freshman year of college, or in the middle of my freshman year or middle of my sophomore year of college. I was hired. I was paid as an actor, I believe, if I'm not mistaken, or talent or something like that. The only job that I had, I just had to stand there and hand out cards and spray people and talk people up about ckb. And I'd be in different places in the store.

[H. Foley]

So you never worked retail?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it's not retail. That's modeling.

[H. Foley]

That's fashion. That's high fashion where I come from.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. I thought that I was gonna get points.

[H. Foley]

What. What year did you go to Paris? Walk the Runway, break it? What year. What year was that?

[Kevin Ryan]

Anna Wintour screwed me out of that gig.

[H. Foley]

How many?

[Kevin Ryan]

She said I was too good looking. She wanted me embarrassing the French models.

[H. Foley]

How many Victoria Secret models.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did you date? I was teamed up with this dime piece. I don't know what happened to her. I lost touch with her.

[H. Foley]

She still has all her teeth, I bet. Unlike some people at the table. Sir, if I spray this colon on me, am I gonna lose all my teeth like you?

[Kevin Ryan]

I had my teeth back then. I have been taking a lot of heat about my teeth and my tongue and my face.

[H. Foley]

A lot of job references, overall well being.

[Kevin Ryan]

I thought I was gonna get SAG credit for it. I swear to God.

[H. Foley]

I mean, you are an all time Bozeter.

[Kevin Ryan]

I thought that was the start of it. I thought that's how you get the Milan Cannes Film Festival. Thought it was going to be, hey.

[H. Foley]

You just got a set of Cannes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Doing H with Kate Moss and Johnny Depp. Hanging out, smoking cigarettes like this. Sudden. I just went back to Widener and flunked out.

[H. Foley]

I don't know. Need this. I'm in fashion.

[Kevin Ryan]

I worked at West Coast Video my senior year of high school.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was my retail. I wasn't good with the.

[H. Foley]

I would argue that's more customer. That's not retail. You're not really selling.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's retail.

[H. Foley]

I'm not. Listen.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, hey. We're paying wholesale prices.

[H. Foley]

I can tell you that. Sure. That is more customer. You're not selling, you're renting.

[Kevin Ryan]

Landscaper, waiter, laborer.

[H. Foley]

So just say no. Why can't you just say no to the question? This is crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

We did sell at West Coast Video. You were able to not just rent, you could buy.

[H. Foley]

I'm aware of that.

[Kevin Ryan]

But nobody was retail purchase, right? Luke?

[Unknown]

30 videos. Can't return those.

[H. Foley]

I'm just saying you weren't in the shit, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[H. Foley]

Okay. As very eloquently put, this is from Sean. I know we hear a lot about the perils of restaurant workers, often on the show, rightfully so.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes.

[H. Foley]

But I worked at an FYE while in high school. College 08 to 2012. And I think people forget about the trenches of mall retail workers. We're in. On any given Friday night.

[Kevin Ryan]

I love you.

[H. Foley]

I'm 33 and still have a group chat with four of the people I worked with back then. And every once in a while, someone will bring up repressed memories. Like Viet. Like a Vietnam flashback. For reference, I was also active duty military. And the vibe of both group chats are unnervingly similar at times.

[Kevin Ryan]

I get it, man.

[H. Foley]

There is like. I remember at Macy's. I didn't know retail. I had never worked retail like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't Were you selling? Like, were you.

[H. Foley]

I was cashier on the floor.

[Kevin Ryan]

I understand that, but would you go and help people? Hey, this shirt, I want to wear this with this. Would you be like, would you be selling? Did you get commission?

[H. Foley]

No commission. I was making $8 an hour.

[Kevin Ryan]

Jesus.

[H. Foley]

8:15 an hour.

[Kevin Ryan]

So you had no motivation to help people or like, you know, hey, why don't you get the shoes too? Or get this or whatever. Now, I thought that's how that worked.

[H. Foley]

No, I think the suit people got commission. Like the problem. If you're selling suit, if you're moving units, you're moving dkny, you're moving.

[Kevin Ryan]

You weren't standing behind the counter. You were walking around in your. What were you in? Shirts, socks, shoes.

[H. Foley]

I was in men's activewear. Men's. I was in charge of activewear. I was in charge of dungarees.

[Kevin Ryan]

Would you fold and put back on the shirt? Okay, so you're not just standing behind.

[H. Foley]

You're not checking, you're behind. Note. Yeah, you're. But listen, this guy who's never worked retail. Let me explain.

[Kevin Ryan]

Would you gift wrap.

[H. Foley]

Let me explain something. Now. You go up on the third floor, they gift wrapping for you for free. Just show them the receipt.

[Kevin Ryan]

I could never do those curls. I'd see my mom do that. What the fuck?

[H. Foley]

Yeah, no, no, we didn't do anything. We had a circle sign and say that was the big thing. So all these major big box retailers want information from, you know, from the customer.

[Kevin Ryan]

Here we go.

[H. Foley]

So you had to put. So hold on. I worked. I worked at Macy's in Center city, Philadelphia. Probably 2000. What would that be? 2007. 8ish. Probably 2008. Right?

[Kevin Ryan]

And right before you met me, your whole world turned around.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, huh? And I still remember those days. First time ever hung out with you. Complained about how far I parked from the venue. I swear to fucking God, he goes. I thought you said it was a couple of blocks. This is a real hump, huh? This is the guy. Fucking. I'm driving him home. Meanwhile, he's smoking all my fucking cigarettes, taking some for the ride. When he gets out, you want to.

[Kevin Ryan]

Go back to fucking JC Penney's? Wherever I found you, punk.

[H. Foley]

Found me. Wherever you found me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Plucked you out.

[H. Foley]

Guy, you were 42.

[Kevin Ryan]

Out of a sea of talent.

[H. Foley]

Guy you were 40. Bumming cigs off me, asking for rides home and then complaining about it.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're lucky you did that, otherwise you wouldn't be sitting here with me drinking your seltzer. Kip. Let's talk about Light Strike Hard refreshing.

[H. Foley]

Shout out to Light Strike.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to all you party animals out there. The Two Bears 5K is in Tampa, Florida this May 4th and sponsored by the first beverage built to outpace the party. Of course, we're talking about Light Strike Hard Refresher, an excellent source of 5% alcohol. Let's go baby. Light Strike is finally here. And unlike anything the alcohol industry has seen before, Light Strike isn't just a drink, it's a God damn survival tool. It's perfect for any party Pacer Why choose between fun and function? Choose Light Strike, baby.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. This hydration drink inspired cocktail low key brings its own self care to the party with a crushable mix of coconut water, sea salt and 5% alcohol by volume. That's all the good stuff and the bad stuff. How you doing? It's non carbonated, gluten free and a great alternative to fizzy hard seltzers or sugary cane cocktails. That's the problem. You start drinking them cocktails, you get hydrated and the sugar, man, it's like your teeth are falling out of your mouth. Light Strike Hard Pressure is launching nationally this month with two flavors, lemon, lime and mango. They were nice enough to send them over here and I gotta tell you, the boys were fighting over. They hit them like the Tasmanian devil. Learn more about Light Strike at drink light strike light strike.com or follow on TikTok and Instagram at drink light strike one more time. Drink light strike.com do it kid.

[Kevin Ryan]

Let's talk about Upside.

[H. Foley]

Shout out to Upside Gang.

[Kevin Ryan]

One of the smartest apps you can have on your phone in 2025 is upside. Upside gives you the power to earn more on the stuff you buy all the time. Whether you're filling up your tank, going out to eat, or shopping for groceries, the Upside app lets you earn cash back on every purchase. Upside users are making as much as $280 a year.

[H. Foley]

Keppy, that's a lot of cash, baby. The free Upside app gets you cash back on daily essentials like gas, groceries and dining. We use it every time we're filling up the gas tank. Bada bing, bada boom. Upside lets you wet your beak. To get started, download the free Upside app, use our promo code AYG and get an extra 25 cents back for every gallon on your first tank of gas. Damn, look at that. Next, claim and offer for whatever you're buying on Upside. Then pay as usual with a credit or debit card. Follow the steps in the app to get paid, There are over 100,000 gas stations, grocery stores and restaurants on the Upside app, ensuring that the cash back is always just around the corner. You can earn an average of 8% on restaurant and grocery purchases. And the best part, you can even stack your upside cash on top of your credit and debit card rewards. Talk about wetting your. Playing both ends from the middle. Upside users earning hundreds of dollars a year. And that's probably why they have a 4.8 star rating on the app store. Here's the turkey. Download the free upside app and use the promo code AYG to get an extra 25% back. 25 cents back for every gallon on your first tank of gas. That's an extra 25 cents back for every gallon, your first tank. Guess using the promo code ayg. Do it. You would work the debt. You'd be. If, you know, if you had downtime, you were folded. Yeah. You had a. You had to stay on top of your fucking. On top of your shit. I was in charge. It was like Nike stuff active.

[Kevin Ryan]

What I'm saying is, would you go if you saw me walking up and I'm looking at the Nike sweatsuits? Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Hey, how you doing? Anything I can help you with today?

[Kevin Ryan]

Beautiful, huh?

[H. Foley]

Sorry, sir, we don't carry 6 XL and you have a hole in your pants, a mustard on your shirt. We have to ask you to leave.

[Kevin Ryan]

I want to talk to your manager.

[H. Foley]

Well, he's talking. It's my brother. He's on his way. He's not going to be a fan either. He don't like me. He definitely your manager? No, he was at another store he was out in like, he was in.

[Kevin Ryan]

The manager training program. Yeah, I bet you they do. All right.

[H. Foley]

Sure. But I remembered the guy said to him, he's like, don't be the. You're not rewarded in retail. Don't be the martyr. Like, don't stay like, he was like, he's working like 15 hour days and this and that. You're not getting paid for it. Like, just like you're trying to solve the. You're trying to win the battle every night.

[Kevin Ryan]

They don't reward you. You never come up and go up and be a general or something like that. I don't think anything because it always looked nice. I was always jealous of those skills that I didn't have. Like watching like just Christmas shopping this year because, you know, we went to the Willow Grove Mall, stuff like that. Seeing like, you know, them, like the way they handle the fabric. They Fold it up nice. They're really. They know everything. The bags were nice.

[H. Foley]

I used to know all the sharp. I used to know all the. All of The Levi's. Jeans.

[Kevin Ryan]

501, 502 button fly.

[H. Foley]

501, 505, 527. That was a boot cut I were banging back in the day. Set of boot cuts on. You don't better believe I had some of them.

[Kevin Ryan]

More of a husky thing.

[H. Foley]

50505S were the button fly. Maybe 501s were the original Levi 501s. They were. They were the original.

[Kevin Ryan]

Those button flies. When I was in high school and college, forget about it. I used to rock.

[H. Foley]

That was like straight, like. That's when they all started banging. Skinny. Started getting a little slim. It wasn't skinny yet. It was slim. I used to rock those five elevens. Five elevens were skinny.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think I would rock those with no underwear.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Tight little body on, running around.

[H. Foley]

I'm just reliving the glory days of how hot you were, apparently. Guy, give it up. That's like me talking about how good my hair used to be. What are we doing here, bro?

[Kevin Ryan]

You're talking about jeans. I'm trying to relate.

[H. Foley]

Why don't you try to get back in a pair? That way you can relate.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got jeans, button fly.

[H. Foley]

Oh, hurt my testicles. But you would walk around and help, like, yeah, what do you need? Whatever. And then you have to. At the end of the night, you had a stock. Make sure all your stuff was right, Dunzo. You know what I mean? I fucking sucked. That was the first place I worked where they searched me on the way out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Jesus.

[H. Foley]

You gotta get searched on the way out to make sure you weren't stealing.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm like, guy, jeans up your ass.

[H. Foley]

You know what I mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

Holy.

[H. Foley]

But you also had a lot of the retail places. If you know, if you were out there, if you ever worked retail, like bringing up, you have to ask, hey, do you want to open a credit card? You know what? But a boss got his credit card. You wanted a Macy's credit card, a Best Buy credit card.

[Kevin Ryan]

You want to ruin your life?

[H. Foley]

That was the big thing. And also you had a circle sign. And say you had a circle your name, circle the website, say your name, circle sign.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hit the survey.

[H. Foley]

And hey, if you like what you want, hit the survey. I never did that. I'm like, guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm fucking guy with the pepperoni breath was really helpful.

[H. Foley]

That's actually a carbonara. That's what it was chicken carbonara sandwich without mushroom with no mushrooms. That's. It was. I didn't know what carbonara was. I thought it was a carburetor. I said, guys, I don't know what.

[Kevin Ryan]

No mushrooms.

[H. Foley]

I remember they gave them to me one time. I sent it back. I'm allergic to these. I can't have them.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh man, a fucking cooked mushroom to you might as well have been eating.

[H. Foley]

A slug eating eyeball. No, thank you, buddy. I don't do drugs. Thanks for asking. I'm on the clock. I got to get back to the men's department.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm straight edge dog. Yeah, I. I always feel bad about it, but I'm not great in those situations as far as putting things back where.

[H. Foley]

Listen, I. As a guy who I hated, people would come in. I was just. I was just shopping with my wife the other day and she was like not getting stuff and I. The woman went, just put it here. Like out of the fitting room. And I didn't like doing that. Cuz that just piles up and go. I go put it back. I'm gonna go hang this up for you. I'm gonna go put it back.

[Kevin Ryan]

I look like it's like a raccoon got in the trash or I try. I'm just not neat like that. I try to put it back.

[H. Foley]

You got to just make an effort. You just can't like the pile up.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'll leave it in. I leave it in the changing room now.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, it's.

[Kevin Ryan]

I left stuff.

[H. Foley]

I get it. Yeah. It's just not for me. They tell you to do that. I get that. They tell you to do that. I just. As a guy, I didn't know people did that. I didn't know that was like a rule. Like the fifth day I went in and there was like a fucking six foot pile of clothes and I thought I was on my way out. I thought I was clocking the fuck out. I go to check to make sure no one's in there. And there's like fucking 150 pieces of clothes. I got a hole. I was so pissed. I recall my brother. It's cock. I made me company. You got run. You're running here. Animals. All right, let's see here. This one's from Toady Fick. Just say you're out getting. This is setting the scene. You're out getting new shoes with your mom as a kid.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm with you.

[H. Foley]

Is she having you walk and run up and down the aisles to make sure they fit? I distinctly remember treating Payless, like the combine. He's doing a high show.

[Kevin Ryan]

My mom and I hear this from my nephew. Now, my mother, when she tests to see how far the big toe is in the shoe. You're lucky your fucking nail doesn't crack. I mean, she applies pressure to make sure that there's room in the shoe.

[H. Foley]

Why are they so. I mean, they were so concerned with it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Come here. Fucking thumb. Just.

[H. Foley]

Brandon. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude. Fucking. Goddamn. Fucking break my foot.

[H. Foley]

I remember one time, I was. I was too old. I was older. Not too old, but I was old. And I was getting rollerblades for hockey. And we were a dick. No. We're at the Sports Authority out there in Route 1 by Oxford Valley Mall. And there was this nice. I forget what. They were like a good. Good set of bowers or something. You know, like a little. A little heightened, not like recreational. They were like, you know, hot. Like roller hockey skates. Recreation. And I put them on and I was rollerblade to check. And I thought I was real cool. And my mom's like, you're really good. I'm like, yeah, no big deal, dude. I was skating backwards and that. Dude, I was over by, like, the canoes and stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was showing to a bunch of coolers.

[H. Foley]

I'm in the golf section. What's up? I was like. I remember being like, man, you are good. Yeah, there's probably some scouts out here going to. So I can see me inside.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, you always had to do a little, you know, a little three point stance, you know, show guy coming off the line.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, these are good.

[Kevin Ryan]

I used to.

[H. Foley]

You got the clerk jacked up. You're running them down the. You're running them down the aisle like the sled.

[Kevin Ryan]

Trying on wrestling shoes. I'm down in the start position.

[H. Foley]

I get me. I swear to God, I got 50 bucks that you don't get me doing.

[Kevin Ryan]

Fireman'S carry to my mother.

[H. Foley]

They're not from the top rope.

[Kevin Ryan]

I loved. Okay. I hated the foot thing. To measure the side, the front, that thing. That was a NASA piece of equipment. And Patty would smoosh him, bring some poor bastard over, get him involved. I love the bench. The little bench. Yeah, with the fucking. With the slanted mirror. Man, your shit.

[H. Foley]

That was like that portable. I was like a seat. So he would sit. He would sit on it, right? That was a salesman. He would sit on it, lace you up, put you in. Then you could walk. You go back and see.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

We had Phil shoes. That's where some of those dudes, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

They would lace you up like you were jumping out of a Huey.

[H. Foley]

Just fucking sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

Crazy tight. He's fashionable. Loosen these up a little bit. Got my tongue up in my fucking socks.

[H. Foley]

I never. I never knew it. Yeah. There it is.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wait.

[H. Foley]

That opened in 1991.

[Kevin Ryan]

What did?

[H. Foley]

Phil's Family Shoes. Crossroads Plaza. Grand opening. It took out a whole page in the Philadelphia Inquiry.

[Kevin Ryan]

Are you still popping?

[H. Foley]

Not that closed. You can win 76ers tickets.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not a great year for them. But.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Harry. And these shoes are just. That's a great line. Rockports was the thing Harry in. These shoes are designed to go fast. 3550732.

[Kevin Ryan]

Got a pair of Rockports at the house.

[H. Foley]

Damn.

[Kevin Ryan]

My dad turned me on to them.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Because they're. They're comfy for bigger guys.

[H. Foley]

Rockport very much.

[Kevin Ryan]

My first pair of Rockports were. Hand me downs of his.

[H. Foley]

Mm.

[Kevin Ryan]

All the time.

[H. Foley]

This one's great. This is from Joey bag of donuts. $10. Homie. I used to work overnight at the flagship L.L. bean store in Maine. It was open to customers 24 7. My main job was to chase out teenagers who would hook up in the tents.

[Kevin Ryan]

Damn.

[H. Foley]

That's a place to go fucking canoodle with your. With your. With your gal pal or your guy guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Flagship L.L. bean.

[Unknown]

That store is sick.

[H. Foley]

You know it.

[Unknown]

I've been there. You could have an archery range in there.

[H. Foley]

Jesus. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Get around.

[H. Foley]

Don't you?

[Kevin Ryan]

How are you doing up there?

[Unknown]

Got family up there.

[H. Foley]

That's all right. I mean. One weird job I had. You know. Chasing out teens who were smooching. Whatever. I could have been the main response. They didn't hire him for that.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got to do prime time someplace like that. Probably pretty nice.

[H. Foley]

L. Bean was banging a great company. I always loved those. I still like those more outdoorsy stores. We don't run into them a whole bunch. Re. I love an re. I love going in there. I just like the. I like functional gear. Let me look at this. And what's. Oh. That's because you go into those stores. They go. Oh. They have the thing for that one thing. You know what I mean? Like. Oh, I have this task or this bangs on my. Whatever. You go. Oh. Here's the thing to say. I love that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Got a Cartman watch. What are they called?

[H. Foley]

I don't even know what that is.

[Kevin Ryan]

Cartman. Carman.

[Unknown]

Garmin.

[Kevin Ryan]

Garmin. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You'd get a Garmin watch.

[Kevin Ryan]

Get one of those. A couple of carabiners.

[H. Foley]

Carabiners Hit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

All right. This one's from Josh. Is it garbage? I don't go to my local mall anymore because they got rid of Annie ann's pretzel shop. P.S. they got another pretzel shop called Rogers Pretzels and it can kick rocks. I respect that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude, fuck that.

[H. Foley]

Get eyes on Rogers Pretzels.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's.

[H. Foley]

That might be a standalone.

[Kevin Ryan]

Guy.

[H. Foley]

I've been to a lot of malls and dining establish. I ain't never seen Rogers Pretzels, Annie Ann's all day. What do you got on Rogers?

[Unknown]

Believe it's Mr. Rogers.

[H. Foley]

Oh, Mr. Rogers Pretzels. That's gotta be some sort of trademark infringement.

[Kevin Ryan]

You would have probably pretzel twists those braids.

[H. Foley]

Get out of here with that shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Easter fucking bullshit.

[Unknown]

Annie Ann's Rogers seems to also be more of like a specialty store. Not like they're banging them out fresh every day.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh fuck that.

[H. Foley]

Yeah buddy, I'm on your side. Fuck them guys.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't think an Annie Ant has ever closed. Yeah. That are closing the malls on its way out.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't think they're all got snakes in that mall. It's no good.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

Get out of here with that.

[H. Foley]

Uh huh.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's the last that in the Cinnabon. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

They're like. They're like. They're like. They're like roaches, you know. They'll survive the nuclear blast.

[Kevin Ryan]

When Cinnabon hit. Oh my God.

[H. Foley]

Never got us family.

[Kevin Ryan]

My family went nuts for those things.

[H. Foley]

What was the. What was the first. For us it was. Clover was the first department store. Like not mall departments. I guess it was kind of relatively connected to a mall.

[Kevin Ryan]

But it was always. Was always a tent pole in a mall. It was always the like it was like at the end the Macy's or the J.C. penney's or whatever. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I'm trying to think of the name of this mall.

[Kevin Ryan]

Our Clover was attached to a Clemens and then it had a little Mart in between. Like a little like it was a bunch of kiosks. It was phenomenal. But what are you asking? What's my first.

[H. Foley]

What that was to me, that was the first. I mean that was the closest one.

[Kevin Ryan]

Boscov's was our first one in Wilkes Barre. They used to do the Halloween. They'd have the witch go from across the street to the other side. I waited in the car. That shit scared the fuck out of me. Sure they just had some doll on or some dummy on a wire. But she would peek out over here and they had another lady peek out over there. Fucking God Damn it. Trauma.

[H. Foley]

This one was off street. Off Street Road. Shout out Street Road. Then it turned into a value city than an office. Max. I believe. Or a staple Sucks. But it used to be connected to a very small mall that was dying there. It was always empty. Wasn't. The Leo Mall was further down on Busselton. This was like the Roosevelt Mall. I forget what the fuck it was called. See if you can look up Clover Street Road. Feasterville, Penn. And see what mall that was. We would go skateboarding into this like young teens.

[Kevin Ryan]

Because inside in the mall.

[H. Foley]

Because it was. It was so close. There was like a Jamba Juice. Like a. But like a knockoff one at the end. That was really awesome.

[Kevin Ryan]

I always wanted to do shit like that.

[H. Foley]

I remember the whole mall was small. Like Mediterranean tiles. So like as you went. Like they weren't like the big.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got you tiles. Damn.

[H. Foley]

I don't know what that is. Clay tiles or whatever.

[Unknown]

Clover was either liquidated or sold and bought by the Federated Department Stores in 2005.

[H. Foley]

See what mall that was connected to though. There should be some sort of.

[Kevin Ryan]

I always thought their parent company was Strawbridge and Clothier.

[H. Foley]

Was that the case?

[Kevin Ryan]

I believe so.

[H. Foley]

That's pretty good. But we.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think. I'm sorry. I think your Strawbridge is card. Which. Only one.

[H. Foley]

I. Clover.

[Kevin Ryan]

Only one I knew. How was my aunt College. Talk about a strawberry. Just card.

[H. Foley]

I loved it. Denise had one.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did she? Yeah. She. Strawberries.

[H. Foley]

Put on my strawberries card.

[Unknown]

I believe. Bucks County Mall.

[H. Foley]

That might have been the Bucks County Mall.

[Unknown]

Kitty City was also a part of this.

[H. Foley]

It was Shout out to the Bucks County Mall. Let's go Kitty City.

[Unknown]

I got a picture of the sign.

[H. Foley]

Of what? The clover. Yeah. So we'd go right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Great department. It was awesome.

[H. Foley]

We'd go right into Clover. Bang. A right snack bar right there. She laced me with a hot pretzel out of the. Out of the machine and a. In a Slurpee. Probably icy Red and blue.

[Kevin Ryan]

The stand was in the middle and they had the icy spinning around top.

[H. Foley]

And I. Polar bear. I'd be good in the cart for about 35 minutes. Just fucking. Just eating my bite and sip at an early age. With a Slurpee and a pretzel. Ain't Nothing better.

[Kevin Ryan]

Those ICs would screw you sometimes though. You'd be halfway done but you'd have no more juice.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

You'd have to shake it up.

[H. Foley]

Keep staring. That was. That was the thing I learned at a young age. You don't churn Your own butter, as we call it. Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's when I would start dipping the pretzel in there.

[H. Foley]

But I'd be good as shit in there. And then she could get it done and we'd get out. That was. But I fucking love clover. That and then a Woolworths.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to Woolworths.

[H. Foley]

Woolworths was in the Chamonix Mall. That was the first place I seen that. I feel like those were, like, Marshalls and stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now, Woolworths, to me, I mean, all.

[H. Foley]

Those kind of stores were. They just seemed chaotic. They had so much stuff. It seems.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. What killed me is Woolworth. I believe the Woolworths that we used to go to, they had a big garden section at a pet shop, too. Yeah. I didn't like the smell of the fucking gerbils in the back. Or the. The fertilizer over in the garden section. Sure hate it. It was always cold and creepy. Wasn't a fan.

[H. Foley]

And then. Here we go. All right. This one's from Kip Van Winkle. I got a whole Sears shut down, like, rolled down gates and all. As a kid, hiding from my mother inside the clothing rack.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nice.

[H. Foley]

I mean, that's obviously the real move. That's. That's like that. That is the best childhood move, hiding in those clothes.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a great question. What store did you get lost in? Or what did you lose your parents in?

[H. Foley]

I remember getting.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mine was a Kmart. I got lost in a Kmart and freak the fuck out. Some neighbor found me.

[H. Foley]

I can't recall. I remember it might have been a Kmart. I remember it vividly. And we. Somebody took our cart in the store.

[Kevin Ryan]

Jesus.

[H. Foley]

I think like a guy shot. Like a guy working there was like, oh, this got left or something, and he moved it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Somebody left their bald fat kid here.

[H. Foley]

And my mom came back and was like. They took my cart and, like, yell. And we left. We left the store.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

And I'm like, you walk out. I thought we had paid for it. You know what I mean? I'm like. And then I'm like, that wasn't your shit. You know what I mean? You could have just put it back. Just got a new cart and grabbed everything in 10 minutes. Of course, now she had a fucking rub it in my face.

[Kevin Ryan]

Speaking of retail, Patti Foley, manager at the Gap at the Wyoming Valley Mall. As you know, for a long time, sure, maybe about five, ten years she worked there.

[H. Foley]

That's back when the Gap was the Gap popping. That was like, new. It was cool. It was like, no, this Is lowercase gap.

[Kevin Ryan]

This isn't uppercase gap. This is before the gap popped. It was cool then.

[H. Foley]

I'm saying. Yeah, that's what.

[Kevin Ryan]

But not like when it went blue.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, it was like hippie ish. Yes, yes, thank you. Like I'm explaining it before you cut me off.

[Kevin Ryan]

I apologize.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, no, it's still like under. It was like those two hippies that started it and were like, the owners were like fucking wacky, you know, fucking smoking the devil's lettuce kind of guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was very threes company. Like the. It was very 70s, the paint on the walls and stuff like that.

[Unknown]

Doris Fisher from San Francisco.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, they were.

[Kevin Ryan]

She started to gap.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, they were hippie dippies. I remember what a project on them.

[Unknown]

Let me find out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Gotta be more than Patty. Sure. God lover. Doing okay, though?

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, let's talk about factor.

[H. Foley]

Shout out to factor.

[Kevin Ryan]

One of the best in the business. The best in the business. We're talking about factor meals, baby. Always fresh, never frozen, ready to eat in about two minutes, you throw it in the microwave. Absolutely delicious. Listen, springtime's coming, everybody's busy, everybody's trying to what, tighten it up a little bit for the summer.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

Factor meals. Nutritious, delicious. You could do keto, you could do low carb. Absolutely fantastic. Kippy likes the shredded chicken taco ball. I like that. I like the rice over there. They do that mashed cauliflower rice.

[H. Foley]

Sure. Yeah. They have chef made gourmet meals that make eating well easy. Dietitian approved, ready to heat in two minutes. So he can fuel you. You feel great. No matter what life throws at you. They arrive fresh and fully prepared per for any active or busy lifestyle. And now you can lose up to eight pounds at eight weeks with factor keto meals. Based on a randomized controlled clinical trial with factor keto. Results will vary, obviously depending on diet and exercise. With 40 options across eight dietary preferences on the menu each week, it's easy to pick meals tailored to your goals. Choose from the preference you like. You can do calorie smart, protein plus or keto. Factors can help you feel your best all day long. With wholesome smoothies, breakfast grabbing, go snacks and more add ons. Here's the turkey. Eat smart with factor. Get started@Factor Meals.com FactorPodcast. Use the code Factor Podcast to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. That's Code Factor [e-mail] FactorPodcast to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. Do it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Let's go.

[H. Foley]

Your data is like gold to hackers. They're selling your passwords, bank details and private messages. McAfee helps stop that. Secure VPN keeps your online activity private. AI powered text scam detector spots phishing attempts instantly. And with award winning antivirus, you get top tier hacker protection. Plus you'll get up to $2 million in identity theft coverage. All for just $39.99 for your first year. Visit McAfee.com, cancel anytime terms apply. This is another great. This is from Max. You ever rode a kid's bike in the store? Not as a kid. That was always a good tie, that. I can't walk by one of those cages of balls without grabbing a ball and doing a fucking.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, of course.

[H. Foley]

Doing a little fucking bread and butter.

[Kevin Ryan]

Would you get one of those? Which? Would they. Would they get you one of those?

[H. Foley]

Occasionally.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now, my mom hated them. They never lasted.

[H. Foley]

I mean, super occasionally.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

If it was like there she's fighting off a time bomb between me and Danny, maybe.

[Kevin Ryan]

But they weren't for anything.

[H. Foley]

No. Yeah. You couldn't use them.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. It wasn't like basketball or.

[H. Foley]

It was literally to throw in the house and break a lamp. That's what it was for. It was a pop.

[Kevin Ryan]

So easily.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, they smell of the smell of them. They're more for kids. My little brother would get them and have them or whatever and you could fucking pelt him in the head with them. And they didn't hurt. Sure, they didn't hurt. You know what I mean? So you could fucking really ping them.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, they were all right for that.

[Unknown]

Fisher family is worth $4.3 billion.

[H. Foley]

All on the back of Patty's hard work.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's pretty good. That's all right. No shit. They don't still own it. Right.

[Unknown]

Their three sons continue to manage the business.

[Kevin Ryan]

Get the fuck out of here.

[Unknown]

I'm sure you got shareholders, but that's pretty good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Those guys. I mean, you remember probably when you were in middle school. I was in high school or college. I mean, they had middle school, you were in college. Yeah, they had. When it went. When they went blue and it was like the big. The. The.

[H. Foley]

That's all I really remember. I only know the other version from like. Yeah, business. Yeah. You had to do some sort of.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, they had a. A run.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Unknown]

They're back, dude.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, they're back.

[Unknown]

Just collabed with Mad Happy.

[Kevin Ryan]

No shit.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I gotta get over there.

[Unknown]

I got some of the gear.

[H. Foley]

Socks, if they're hiring. Do you remember this. So my mall years were still prized. Your. Your mall years were probably prime too. I'm talking like for me, mid-90s malls were fucking you. I mean, that was the hub, buddy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mid-80s.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's for you. Yeah, for sure. Do you. I think this was more 90s though. The theory. And then you would see from time to time that stores would have real people as mannequins. Do you remember that? I think like Abercrombie did certain places did it where like they'd get like the hot girls from the school or whatever, they might have worked there too. And they would go put on like a dress and just like. And then move positions every like 10 minutes or something.

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh. Surprised they didn't ask me to do that.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, me too. With all your modeling experience, sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, but you have to wear the clothes.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Which.

[Kevin Ryan]

Didn't you have to wear the clothes? Didn't you have to wear Macy's clothes? How were you able to wear your dad's suit?

[H. Foley]

You just had to wear a black suit and tie.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, you didn't have to wear the clothes from the store.

[H. Foley]

That'd be weird. If I was dressed up in a Nike fucking warm up outfit. That'd be insane.

[Unknown]

Nike tech.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. I'm in a pair of 501s and a. And a Harley Davidson shirt. Like, what are you talking about?

[Kevin Ryan]

I thought you had to wear the clothes from the store. My mom did. They wore like Gap stuff so people could see how it looked on you.

[H. Foley]

Sure, most. But the Gap only carries the Gap clothes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right?

[H. Foley]

It'd be weird if I was wearing a pair of Rockports, a bathing suit and, and a blazer from DKNY or whatever, you know, Nothing matches.

[Kevin Ryan]

With a winner, guys.

[H. Foley]

If you need any advice on styling that outfit just hit me up. Obviously dress like a crazy person. I got a snorkeling sitting on a washing machine.

[Kevin Ryan]

Tri colored popcorn out of the tin.

[H. Foley]

You guys want to open up a credit card? I got you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Holding a spatula or something like that.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I remember that was big house. I remember just like the malls. Because my brothers, brother and sister were going to the mall socially. I was young, I was probably, you know, that's probably 91, 92, they would go, you know. Yeah, yeah, whatever. Maybe 93. They get dropped off at the mall or whatever, man. Just like the cult, the circling of all the kids from all the different school. I remember one kid had. He has these spice. Huge spiked hairs.

[Kevin Ryan]

Jesus. What he's hanging out with Punk rock.

[H. Foley]

No, he would just be at the mall. You would see him at the mall. We go to the mall once a week just to like I don't know. I. One person out of a family of three. Between my mom, my dad, my stepmom, my. Somebody needed fucking something, you know or just oh, we'll go to the mall just to get out of the house or whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

For sure.

[H. Foley]

Kahunaville. That was. We went to Kahuna Ville in the Oxford Valley Mall.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh my God.

[H. Foley]

Kahuna. Shout out Kahunaville. See if getting eyes on that. I was great. Like the Rainforest Cafe but I think there's only a couple of them. It's like. It was like an independent shop permanently closed. I had a birthday Kahuna Ville couldn't tell me shit. I was just my family. But we celebrated my birthday.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a nice burger over there.

[H. Foley]

They got the chicken tend these steak fries. All right. This is about all just kinds of shopping. This is from Harvey. Never have one red hoagie here. Is it garbage to deny help from an employee even though you definitely need help?

[Kevin Ryan]

I do that to deny.

[H. Foley]

Oh, like you go in. Hey, can I help you with anything? Now I'm just looking and really a question of. Hey, do you carry fucking scuba tanks? No. Yeah, I do that.

[Kevin Ryan]

See I always thought it's footlocker that you get that you got a bump that like who helped you? Kevin helped me.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. I think certain. I think maybe like full time employees at some point got commission. But like the part time guy and my buddy did it when he worked at Foot Locker.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did not.

[H. Foley]

Did not. But like you needed to sell, you needed to help so you know they can tell how hard you're working by how many. That was the way it was explained to me.

[Kevin Ryan]

I could be wrong. Your name gets put in.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, it's like oh, you only help three people today, whereas fucking Gary helped a hundred.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nobody said no. I'm just. Yeah, I'm just looking if you need.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, but they need to. You have to go get the shoes and foot lock.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I know. Yeah, that's true.

[H. Foley]

You know what I mean? You. Somebody has to go get them DXL.

[Kevin Ryan]

They sometimes give you the full court press. Are you sure you don't, you know they're hanging around that look that looked good on you. I First of all, nothing looks good on me, lady. I know you're fucking lying to me.

[H. Foley]

Sure they play my work on that. Might be more of a commission based. I don't think there's A lot of part time after school kids working at dxl. Like, you know what I mean? Like that would be more Macy's, Target, Best Buy. And those kids, I don't think they don't get commish.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think I'd be good at dxl.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, you don't want that, but I have it. That thing stains like you wouldn't believe. That wear and tear on that thing alone.

[Kevin Ryan]

Be good there.

[H. Foley]

Sure. I think he would be great.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know, my one uncle worked. Was Joseph a bank guy. Cleaned up. Just a born salesman. My uncle's brother by marriage.

[H. Foley]

Those are some guy. Some guy, you know.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Used to move. Move?

[H. Foley]

Move fabric. Yeah.

[Unknown]

DXL employees get commission.

[Kevin Ryan]

No shit. Really?

[Unknown]

Varying between 1.5 and 6% based on the personal sales volume.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's funny because the last gotta be.

[H. Foley]

A lot on a 40 pound coat.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's funny because the last couple times I went in there, I dropped a couple of bucks that I was loading up. And I don't remember them like falling over themselves.

[Unknown]

I think it still depends on the employee. But it seems like DXL is a pretty good commission based system.

[H. Foley]

I mean by 1%, to get any real juice off that, you got to be. You got to be spending like 20 grand in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think I spent like 300 bucks, 400 bucks last couple of times I was in.

[H. Foley]

That's 4 bucks to that guy tell you to go suck my dick. Come in here making demands and shit. I'm gonna make 450. No way.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is that what it is?

[H. Foley]

Oh, 1% of full. 1% of a hundred dollar.

[Kevin Ryan]

They got it. That's got to be 10%.

[Unknown]

Could be. No, it goes up to six.

[Kevin Ryan]

Six? Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You gotta be, gotta be an earner to get. You gotta be there a long time. You gotta be Mr. D, X or L to get 6%.

[Kevin Ryan]

It should be like Teddy, they should get 10%. Unless they're paying them at the wazoo with the wazoo. Give him a reason to move some fucking gear.

[H. Foley]

They don't need to. You're in there, you can't go nowhere. What are you gonna walk out to fucking DL? Like you need the X, you know what I mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

I'll go over to Urban Outfitters right now.

[H. Foley]

What does DXL stand for? What's the D?

[Kevin Ryan]

Destination xl.

[H. Foley]

Whoa. Location Badass. I wish I could do a tractor beam.

[Kevin Ryan]

Beep beep. Destination.

[H. Foley]

Destination. Fat ass. It's great.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it's Destination xl.

[H. Foley]

My bad.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's also tall too.

[H. Foley]

Dude, that one mannequin we posted a picture of. He's like 5, 2, 380.

[Kevin Ryan]

That guy. That guy owns a cheesesteak place his dad started.

[H. Foley]

He's the son. All right. This is from drive in. Longtime $10 dirt bag. Never had one read. Had a job at a big box store in high school as a security guard. Another kid from my school started working at the same place as a cashier. He immediately found out the override code and a list of codes for all the registers. This was a time when starter jackets and jerseys were absolutely banging.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know where this is going.

[H. Foley]

Me, too. We would have kids from school. Hold on, this is a deep text. We would have kids from school come in at timed intervals, grab a stack of starter gear, and I would switch the cameras off the front door.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

Off the sports section, then off the cashier. At the right time, he would ring everything up for $1, and they pay cash. There was never a trace of that person being in the store the next day. At school, these kids would give us, like, 50 to 100 bucks to split. Never got caught. Made enough money to smoke weed for free for a couple of years through high school.

[Kevin Ryan]

God damn. That is fucking diabolical.

[H. Foley]

Yes, yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ocean's Eleven.

[H. Foley]

Shit, that's. Yeah, that's wild. And this goes back to, like, listen, a lot of the times these big box stores, foot lockers, whatever, these mall retail places are hiring, you know, teenagers, essentially. Teenagers don't really give a. They're not morally, like, I can't. They don't give a fuck about Mr. Blockbuster or whatever. And they're. You. They get in there and they start seeing the holes in the fucking. In the system here.

[Kevin Ryan]

Turning cameras off.

[H. Foley]

That's sick.

[Kevin Ryan]

That.

[H. Foley]

That's nuts. Somebody else said. I don't know if. I don't know if I took it, but they were just like, I currently. I work in a mall. And they were like, just the. The ecosystem that goes through them all is crazy. Like I've said before, we used to do the 2 for 70 deal. You go in, guy at Foot Locker, you pick out two shoes. He gives them to you in a bag. You hand them 70 bucks, too. You hand them 70 bucks. I think he put 10 or 20 in the register, pocketed 50 or whatever. He'd ring you up for a dollar, whatever the fuck it was.

[Kevin Ryan]

You think that the dollar charges would ring somebody's bell. Why? What are all these dollar charges?

[H. Foley]

They didn't know, though.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, we did the standard when Best Buy was fucking up when they first opened, and they had the shit upstairs. We had. We had the. My buddies had the return thing going.

[H. Foley]

All right, this one's for Mr. Bevalock with $10 man myself. Great name.

[Kevin Ryan]

There you go.

[H. Foley]

Is it garbage to swing through your local malls? Macy's on your way to a date to freshen up a couple layers of cologne sandpaper.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very, very, very of a couple of years ago. A lot of people were doing this. They weren't just doing it at. At the perfume counter. The cologne counter, which I respect the move. Sure, Okay. I respect it. Go in there, freshen up. A lot of people were going to CVS and Duane Read and shit like that. Going to the. And hitting the. You used to do it.

[H. Foley]

What?

[Kevin Ryan]

I used to do it.

[H. Foley]

What?

[Kevin Ryan]

I would go and I would. I would open up a thing of hairspray or something like that.

[H. Foley]

Nah. But a kid I knew did it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I used to do it all the time.

[H. Foley]

I never did it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would grab the crew forming cream and just do my hair real quick.

[H. Foley]

Maybe. Maybe I'd do a spritz of hairspray.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember being with you when we both did it.

[H. Foley]

We're in there like, we're in the fucking beauty. Paula. Hey, Dottie.

[Kevin Ryan]

And they're trimming our beards. I want to return this. I respect.

[H. Foley]

Sorry you didn't buy this.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's dirt bag. It's garbage. But I love it.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Hey, listen. That's what you got to do. So what are you gonna. So, like, what's the reality? You have a fucking. I don't know what cologne costs. $50 a bottle? That. All right, 100. I don't know. I don't buy cologne. I'm not a fucking Italian.

[Kevin Ryan]

I love cologne.

[H. Foley]

So just say it's 50 bucks and you got one at home. So what are you gonna, like, go. You can't make it home in time. There's a Macy's around the corner or whatever. What are you gonna go buy a $50 bottle of fucking Nicolon? Okay, Tessa, you know what? Never mind. You know, my dick sucked.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what I love as far as cologne? And I get. I get a version of this every year from one of my. One of the birds family. One of my aunties gives it to me. Over there is the samples, the little tiny bottles of a. But, dude, that keeps you going for the whole year. You got an eclectic. They're all like, little samples or little giveaways. I love that around the holidays, if you buy, like, a certain bottle of cologne, they'll give you, like, the pack with like to this and that. I love that.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got like 50 different cologne. Nice.

[H. Foley]

This is just funny. This is. McKenna, are you garbage? If your mom puts Kohl's cash in your birthday card in lieu of actual cash, that's fucking great. Know about how, when and how to spend it, baby. I've never had that. I would say, yes, that is trash. But the. My. Everyone in my family. Big Kohl's cash.

[Kevin Ryan]

Love it.

[H. Foley]

All of it. I mean, I. Denise, probably the needs probably sitting on fucking two grand or what. I don't know how we're big on Kohl's Law. I got it at Kohl's.

[Kevin Ryan]

They got Sephora's in there now, too.

[H. Foley]

No shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

The one with the one by us. Sephora. Right in the middle, man.

[H. Foley]

Kohl's to me was. It took me a while to realize Kohl's wasn't at the forefront of fashion. And I thought it was. I so thought it. I thought Sonoma, Arizona or whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sonoma.

[H. Foley]

I thought Sonoma was like. I'm like, you couldn't tell me shit. It took me a while to really realize Clue. And you know what? It was H and M for me.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's hot shit. That's cool guy shit.

[H. Foley]

That was making me. That was the first time. I'm like, oh, I can buy. I don't have to think. I can just buy stuff here. And it's $9. Great. And I'm kind of cool. That was the first time.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Everything else, I was just wearing hoodies and jeans. Like just whatever I could get my hands on.

[Kevin Ryan]

H and M was legit. Was legit. I was saying the Kohl's toy store. Toy department. Bunk Whack.

[H. Foley]

Stinks. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

No good.

[H. Foley]

Sure. Of course, they don't even do the clothes right. I would argue.

[Kevin Ryan]

Fair enough.

[H. Foley]

That's just me. This one's from ozempic. Gold medalist. $10 bozo. One time I did Ecstasy. Went and got my hair cut at the mall. It was the best haircut I ever had. Felt real good.

[Kevin Ryan]

I like that.

[H. Foley]

I've gotten my haircut at a mall before. Not my proudest moment. We did it on the road, I want to say, in Cleveland or something. Which will be coming to Hair Cuttery.

[Kevin Ryan]

Plymouth Meeting Mall. That's what a lady's got their cuts. Everybody in my family was getting cuts there.

[H. Foley]

I did the haircut. It wasn't in the mall, though. But shout out to a haircutter. All the broads I grew up with started working here. Of course my hair go in There be three or four of them. One of them wasn't great and you had to like slowly pivot to the other one.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hot teeth. Love the way a beauty parlor smells.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. This one's a little crude but fair enough. From ant hoodies. Boner garage $10 bows are never ever had one. Red is a garbage jo in a produce fridge at Walmart. I was working at the department when I was about 17 and walked in on a co worker tugging his root. I turned around and left immediately.

[Kevin Ryan]

Jesus. Yeah. That's fucked up. That's bad.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. But these are the people that you're hiring for these retail jobs. The guy who wants to whack off in the freezer. I'm not judging on man.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm just saying I'm not saving. I haven't. I haven't pulled it at work before.

[H. Foley]

You gotta wash your. You gotta. That's why you gotta wash your produce gang.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've pulled it at work before. But in the bathroom like a gentleman. Not around other things. No.

[H. Foley]

Have you ever tugged your root here?

[Kevin Ryan]

No. I have not that.

[H. Foley]

That. Laughing no Is always a dead.

[Kevin Ryan]

I haven't. I haven't.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

I might have watched a selection or two.

[H. Foley]

Nobody. Fuck you. Nobody. Goes on a lot. Unless you want to buy Big Dog.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's not true.

[H. Foley]

That's deep Dirt bag.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've never jerked off in here. I wouldn't do that to her goddamn ant. She's different psychologically.

[H. Foley]

There he is.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure wouldn't do that.

[H. Foley]

Uh huh.

[Kevin Ryan]

Your house. I have.

[H. Foley]

Sure. Who hasn't? The Sig strain. This one's from Ron. Seven $5 goon and new to the Tron. Is it garbage to take photos of all the good recipes in a cookbook at a bookstore with no intent on buying the book? Man. I can't hate. I've never thought of that. And I can't hate it. That's brilliant.

[Kevin Ryan]

We haven't talked about bookstores.

[H. Foley]

We haven't.

[Kevin Ryan]

Brentano's. What's it called?

[H. Foley]

Brentan.

[Kevin Ryan]

Barnes and Nobles.

[H. Foley]

Barnes and Nobles.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's the.

[H. Foley]

Arnaz and Noble Is the funniest video ever.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's Barnes and Nobles and there's. There was another one. Another big Borders border.

[H. Foley]

I think Borders went under if I had to guess.

[Unknown]

They did.

[H. Foley]

And Amazon owns Barnes and Nobles now.

[Unknown]

I believe so.

[Kevin Ryan]

Talk about coming from the inside.

[H. Foley]

I could be wrong.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's crazy.

[H. Foley]

But yeah. I mean that Barnes and. No. You know that we would go to that Barnes and Noble in Union Square to poop a lot.

[Kevin Ryan]

To poop. And to sit.

[H. Foley]

I remember one time because they had tables. Yeah, they had tables. You go and get a cup of coffee, sit there and. With the rest of the homeless people. I remember one time I had to go to the bathroom, so. But it was you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Me.

[H. Foley]

You and Tom. I think it's just maybe me and you. And you're like, I'll stay out front. And I'm like, I got to go. I run in, and me and this homeless guy are, like, rushing up the escalator, and I realize that he's also going to the bathroom. And he's. He's got the angle on me. He's got. He's got, like half a flight of stairs on me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Angle of pursuit.

[H. Foley]

And they're the. They're the small. They were. The small escalator, so you can't even pass them, man. So, like, you had to get up. And I'm trying to take them at the corners. It's like six escalators.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's killer Be killed.

[H. Foley]

And he. He got there for me, and I. I had to come back down. You're like, you're done. I go, we gotta find. We gotta. I probably went over that Whole Foods or whatever is right there. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Second best choice.

[H. Foley]

Nah, man. Homeless galore.

[Kevin Ryan]

Those guys that work in the Barnes and Noble, man, God love them. Just take a deal with a lot of.

[H. Foley]

I know, but you go to a nice suburb, we go to one in the burbs. Nice suburban Barnes and Noble. It's quiet. Your walk, it's like going back in time. You're walking around going, hey, can I help you find anything? It smells nice. They got the star BZ's going.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. I just feel like people don't treat the people that work there well, you know what I mean? They boss them around and shit like that. Nobody ever knows where the fuck anything is. You know what I mean? I don't.

[H. Foley]

I'm sorry. I don't. I've never been in there. People. I'd. More than anywhere else. I don't think. I don't think people are, like, specifically boss around Barnes and Noble people.

[Kevin Ryan]

I always got that vibe. I always felt bad for them. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I mean, maybe in the city, this is. But, I mean, that's a little different. But, I mean, you go to a nice, quiet suburb, they're.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey.

[H. Foley]

They're like librarians.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. So I was gonna say you gotta be. You gotta. You gotta be a little intelligent to work at those places. You got to know a little bit what's going on. I feel like People always treated them like shit.

[Unknown]

Sure, Barnes and Nobles was just bought by a hedge fund, but Amazon did take them down.

[H. Foley]

Amazon took them down.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hedge fund, huh? Yeah. Blackrock. Who is it?

[Unknown]

Citadel.

[H. Foley]

Crack rock Citadel. That the home and military school?

[Unknown]

No, technically, Elliot Advisors.

[H. Foley]

But that's no Dempsey Group.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, when are you gonna fucking make a purchase?

[H. Foley]

You should make a move on this. Take the show, buy the show. We work for you.

[Unknown]

I've heard someone's up for sale.

[H. Foley]

Also, if you're listening, Foley is interested in selling his steak.

[Kevin Ryan]

But you have $1,200 on you.

[H. Foley]

Just saying. This one is something I feel, speaking of retail needs to be appreciated. This is from jb. I worked at a candy store right out of high school. Business was constantly so slow, so I would sit at the register and watch Netflix. I made it through all of Prison Break, Sons of Anarchy, and Breaking Bad. There's something to say for those little stores that you walk in and it's just dead. And the guy, not that he doesn't give a fuck, but he's just going.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, what do you want from me?

[H. Foley]

Yeah, like, guy, take a look or I'll ring you up. But, like, I ain't walking. I ain't holding your hand.

[Kevin Ryan]

How's that candy store? Dead. You know? Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I mean, people aren't going to.

[Unknown]

I mean, outside the summer.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Think.

[H. Foley]

I don't know. What if it was in an industrial. I don't know, foot traffic? I. A lot of going away.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's the owner's problem. I think this kid's fault.

[H. Foley]

Sure. I'm just saying, the fact that that is. That is a great retail job where you're like, I'm just a body in this store, so no one robs it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right.

[H. Foley]

And I'm just watching fucking whatever, chilling. I respect that. That is very fucking. That's very American. I'm just fucking here, dude. I'm collecting a goddamn paycheck.

[Kevin Ryan]

Owner will be back in a couple hours. Something like that.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, Yeah. I don't know, man. I don't know how to work the system.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, Randy's not here today.

[H. Foley]

I can only ring it up. Yeah, all right. This is with Snake with Arms. When I worked in retail, if someone ever asked, do you have any more in the back? I would go in the back to look, but in reality that was a free 10 minute break. And I just tell them no. And we came back. Listen, that is a big. It took me for a long time. Would you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Would you ever have anything in the back?

[H. Foley]

There was no back Everything you see is out. And people go, no, but, like, can you check?

[Kevin Ryan]

And I go, I didn't know that.

[H. Foley]

I mean, that Macy's doesn't have a back. Like, everything's out. They're not like, oh, you're sitting on. I mean, maybe. Maybe some places, but that Macy's. Everything's out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Obviously, you know, at different times of my life, I was, hey, do you.

[H. Foley]

Have, you know, a larger size?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, well, yeah, anything bigger.

[H. Foley]

You have a DXL in the back. Hey, this doesn't happen to be on top of a dxl, does it?

[Kevin Ryan]

If they would just get me. Give me a Cinnabon and I'll get out of here.

[H. Foley]

You gotta get out of your hair. Hey, buddy, I know you want to finish. Finish Sons of Anarchy here. Why don't you just. Just give me half of that Cinnabon? I'm. I'll be. I'll be on my way.

[Kevin Ryan]

You load me up with a pound of Gummy Colas, and I'll be on my way. Shout out to the Gummy Colas.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. There was no back, which we would do. If I did like you. I could search other stores that had that product.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would. They do that. They do that at dxl. They're like, oh, we can order it for you. Or, oh, the store. What, you out of your fucking mind?

[H. Foley]

Walk there, too.

[Kevin Ryan]

Seriously. I'm not fucking going to the other. No.

[H. Foley]

Well, if you need it. I mean, yeah, listen, if you want something that you're not like, oh, my God, I see that I need it. You're more.

[Kevin Ryan]

The only time I did that was.

[H. Foley]

For my Chris Cotton used to say, I'm getting. I'm getting. So if I don't get to the point where I don't call them clothes, I call them fabrics. I believe that's what it was.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I'm not going to the other. Don't worry about it. I'm not going to the other store.

[H. Foley]

I'll just wear dirty underwear. Have a nice day.

[Kevin Ryan]

Fuck that. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

We were never. We didn't have the Macy's. Didn't have it back. I would check other stores if I liked you and was slow and just also kind of look at for like, just. It'll take two minutes. I remember one time they made me call up to here, Herald Square because they listed. It's also, like, bad. I mean, you're tracking thousands of pieces through hundreds of stores. So if it was like, it's. I was just somewhere.

[Kevin Ryan]

What'd you have, a database? Wasn't It.

[H. Foley]

Hold on. Yeah, go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, wasn't it an older computer?

[H. Foley]

It was one of those, like, fucking accessing Pentagon codes computers. Like green screw.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, like. Yeah, that. That would come up. Hey, they have. It would be in, like, the green lettering and like, a black thing it was looking at. It was like Con Cave. It looked like a TV screen.

[H. Foley]

I know you're talking about. Yeah. I don't know why you keep trying to fucking explain it. I told you what it was like.

[Kevin Ryan]

You would be able to search through that. That was connected to something.

[H. Foley]

I mean, it was 2008. It was.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wow. Really?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't know those.

[H. Foley]

I mean, maybe it wasn't. Maybe it wasn't like the Matrix, but it was a little like. There was a bit of a screen.

[Kevin Ryan]

To it, but it was like a computer slash register.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. So it wasn't like, you know, it was like, I wasn't running fucking Windows 2000 on it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right. But you could look up and you would see.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, it would just go like. You would scan something and you, like, tab over and go, like, other doors or other store, you know, inventory whatever. Other locations. Huh? It would say, we have none left or whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right.

[H. Foley]

Are you scanning Go. Other locations? And he'd give you, like, Herald Square or Neshamini Mall or Oxer Valley Mall. And then I remember one time I had a call up to Herald Square, and I don't know why, they just didn't hang up on me. I'm like, it says, there's one of these. And whenever it says one, it don't exist.

[Kevin Ryan]

They got it.

[H. Foley]

You know, anything under five, you're like, you're rolling the. Hey. If it's around a corner, I'd go, hey, you can go look. I don't know, maybe you can call and see if they can find them. But you can't trust these numbers.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

I called Herald Square and I didn't know. I'm like, there's one. I remember being like, whoa. I am on the phone with New York City right now.

[Kevin Ryan]

Any movie stars in there right now?

[H. Foley]

Do you know the Kardashians? It was.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you guys have a back? We don't have a back here.

[H. Foley]

Do you know how to gift wrap?

[Kevin Ryan]

Damn.

[H. Foley]

They told you how to gift wrap? Shit. How much they pay you? What time is it there?

[Kevin Ryan]

I think they're all million. It's Tuesday here. What day is it there?

[H. Foley]

You guys wear clothes? Are you in the future? You guys even wear clothes?

[Kevin Ryan]

You know Derek Jeter? Is he there now?

[H. Foley]

I remember being like, whoa. I'M in business. I'm calling New York City. I don't bother. We're just down here in Philadelphia, little Podunk town.

[Kevin Ryan]

Some kid would shave the eyebrows and an ankle monitor on.

[H. Foley]

And I remember the one girl went, how do I get to. I, I got the information. I go, they tracked it down. There's one or something. They're gonna hold it. I'm like, hey, hold it. What's your name?

[Kevin Ryan]

In Herald Square. She was gonna drive up from Philly.

[H. Foley]

So they, this is like. Sometimes you get people from Philly that had never left Philadelphia. You know what I mean? And I'm like, yeah, they got one. I was like, there's one in Harold's. I, I, I might have said Harold Square. She might have not clocked that it was new. And then or whatever tenant square she knew it was New York. She goes, how do I get there? And I was like, lady, I don't.

[Kevin Ryan]

If I knew how to get there, I wouldn't be working here.

[H. Foley]

I wouldn't be wearing my dad's clothes and my brother's shoes. Okay, lady, take me with you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Will you get me out of this town.

[H. Foley]

Now, if you don't mind, I have to go finish my chicken carbonara sandwich. No mushrooms.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sans mushrooms.

[H. Foley]

You gotta wrap it up. Gang, gang, we love you to death, huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

We'll see you next week.

[H. Foley]

Peace.