Rick Glassman Returns!

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast" – Episode: Rick Glassman Returns!

Release Date: March 10, 2025

In this engaging episode of "Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast," hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley welcome back one of their favorite guests, Rick Glassman. The trio dives deep into Rick's personal history, his experiences in high school and college, his hobbies, and his journey toward self-confidence. True to the show's playful nature, the conversation oscillates between heartfelt insights and humorous banter, providing listeners with both laughs and relatable moments.

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1. Warm Welcome and Catching Up (00:00 - 02:10)

The episode kicks off with Kevin and H. Foley thanking their audience for the support on their recent projects, including the "Route 66 Special" and the "Back on the Block" tour. Rick Glassman joins them with his adorable dog, Alvin, setting a friendly and relaxed tone for the episode.

• Kevin Ryan (00:20): "Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash."

2. Revisiting Rick's Previous Appearance and Classiness (03:00 - 08:30)

Kevin and H. Foley express surprise and amusement that Rick previously appeared "classy" on their show—a rarity, as most guests are deemed "garbage." They discuss the notable alumni from Rick's high school, Orange High School in Ohio, humorously noting Rick as one of them.

• H. Foley (03:38): "We had to have our research team go back and listen to the episode. And they said the verdict was classy, which I was astonished."

3. High School Memories and Notable Alumni (06:53 - 08:30)

The conversation shifts to Rick's high school days, highlighting prominent figures like George Stephanopoulos and Vanessa Bayer as notable alumni alongside Rick himself.

• H. Foley (07:53): "We got George Stephanopoulos. Pretty good."

4. College Years and Personal Interests (10:22 - 17:37)

Rick shares his college experience at Kent State, where he majored in Political Science and minored in Theater. He recounts his time juggling academics while contemplating law school and his love for theatrical productions. The discussion also touches upon his interest in Magic: The Gathering and Pokémon, illustrating his strategic and competitive nature.

• Rick Glassman (11:16): "It took me four and a half years because I retook some of my classes for a thing called freshman forgiveness so I could bring my GPA up because I thought I was going to go to law school."

5. Hobbies and Competitive Spirit: Magic the Gathering (17:38 - 26:00)

A substantial portion of the episode delves into Rick's passion for Magic: The Gathering. He discusses his participation in tournaments, his strategies, and memorable experiences like attending "Friday Night Magic." The hosts tease Rick about his competitive edge and his ability to balance his hobbies with his professional life.

• Rick Glassman (42:00): "It's chess with cards."

6. Personal Growth and Self-Confidence (27:08 - 45:00)

Rick opens up about his personal struggles with self-confidence, particularly concerning his chest hair during his high school years. He narrates a pivotal moment when a girlfriend pointed out his chest hair, leading to insecurities that persisted until he found inspiration in characters like Wolverine. This segment highlights Rick's journey toward embracing his individuality and gaining confidence.

• Rick Glassman (54:02): "There are two moments in my life that I can remember where I became more confident in some type of sexual way."

7. Anecdotes and Humorous Banter (45:00 - 57:00)

The conversation becomes more playful as the hosts and Rick exchange humorous stories about high school experiences, dating mishaps, and quirky habits. They reminisce about mutual interests, like observing neighbors and navigating social dynamics, all while maintaining the show's trademark comedic flair.

• H. Foley (55:53): "You know, if Eli could see me now."

8. Community and Relationships (57:00 - 66:00)

Rick discusses his relationship with his local community, particularly his interactions with Eli at the card store and his experiences in Los Angeles. He emphasizes the importance of community spaces like card shops in fostering connections and personal growth.

• Rick Glassman (63:01): "When I moved out to LA, I would play at a card store in Studio City, and it was a cool community."

9. Closing Remarks and Tour Promotion (66:00 - End)

As the episode winds down, Rick promotes his upcoming tour, "The Ricky's on the Loose Tour," encouraging listeners to attend his shows and check out his podcast, "Take Your Shoes Off." Kevin and H. Foley also remind audiences about their ongoing tours and specials, wrapping up the episode with enthusiasm and gratitude.

• Rick Glassman (67:19): "You can hear it on my podcast, so check it out."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Kevin Ryan (00:20): "Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash." (00:20)

• H. Foley (03:38): "We had to have our research team go back and listen to the episode. And they said the verdict was classy, which I was astonished." (03:38)

• Rick Glassman (42:00): "It's chess with cards." (42:00)

• Rick Glassman (54:02): "There are two moments in my life that I can remember where I became more confident in some type of sexual way." (54:02)

• Rick Glassman (66:25): "Beat Bobby Flay. You. He wins around 70% of the time." (66:25)

---

Conclusion

This episode of "Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast" offers an intimate glimpse into Rick Glassman's life, blending humor with heartfelt storytelling. Listeners gain insight into Rick's formative years, personal challenges, and the passions that shape his comedic prowess. The dynamic interplay between the hosts and Rick ensures a captivating and entertaining experience, staying true to the show's unique blend of comedy and candid conversation.

Transcript

[Kevin Ryan]

Gang, we want to thank everybody for all the love and support on the Route 66 Special. It is out now. If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor and check it out. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

And the Back on the Block tour starts this week. Tickets still available for Pontiac, Michigan. March 8th, March 11th, Milwaukee Improv. And then March 14th, Minneapolis, Minnesota, at the Fillmore. Get your tickets. Are you garbage.com.

[Rick Glassman]

We'Ll see you there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are youe Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RU Garbage.

[H. Foley]

Oh, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that if they grow to be classy, yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash.

[H. Foley]

Trash, trash, trash.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm your host.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, Trolley. Coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition.

[H. Foley]

She just got back from the Eagles parade, okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Which, as you know, was several weeks, weeks ago.

[H. Foley]

She just walked in the door, okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

On her way to spring training, baby.

[H. Foley]

Oh, I thought she got it. I thought she got a position.

[Kevin Ryan]

My coach is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of Are you Garbage? He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for kj. Kevin. James Ryan, everybody.

[H. Foley]

What up, gang? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in as always. Please make sure you rate view subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube and also full video available now on Spotify. We got in a little thing over there. You can wet your beak over there. Go watch on Spotify then. Obviously, the greatest website of all time. Www.patreon.com Are you garbage? And the Route 66 special. Go check that out, gang. Now live on the YouTube.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes, please. And, gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest back with us again today, one of our absolute favorites. You can hear him every week on his amazing podcast, Take your shoes off. Give it up for the LA Kid. Rick Glassman, everybody. There he is. Look at him. He's got his boy with him running around. Little Alvin.

[H. Foley]

I know Alvin.

[Rick Glassman]

Good kid.

[Kevin Ryan]

Good dog.

[H. Foley]

There he goes.

[Kevin Ryan]

There he is.

[H. Foley]

I thought he was gonna get on the table. Jump.

[Kevin Ryan]

Look at him.

[H. Foley]

What's up, Budzo?

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, man, I could eat your belly, I'll tell you that right now. You got a Little face.

[Rick Glassman]

LA kid.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is that who LA guy talking about.

[H. Foley]

Hollywood, I think Hollyweird. I think Rick Glassman.

[Kevin Ryan]

You've been to a couple award shows, right?

[Rick Glassman]

I mean, I was invited. I showed up, they gave me something to wear. What am I gonna do, you know.

[Kevin Ryan]

Stranger to a red carpet. You've walked a red carpet?

[Rick Glassman]

I've walked a red carpet.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, sure.

[Rick Glassman]

It's so hot in here.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm 500.

[H. Foley]

Listen, he's the barometer. If it's. Even if it ain't. Can't be that hot. I mean, you also. You gotta. You got a sweatshirt on.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got your Goofy sweatshirt on. What you at Disneyland?

[H. Foley]

Last fucking Disney adult over here. Oh, welcome to the Thunderdome, Glassman.

[Rick Glassman]

I mean, I only see one guy who's Goofy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can we get a little pair of headphones for Alvin, for God's sake? Goddamn broadcaster over here.

[H. Foley]

He can be associate producer.

[Kevin Ryan]

Buddy, thank you for coming back. Here's a news flash for everybody. If you haven't checked out Rick's episode, go back, do yourself a favor, check it out. One of the few that somehow, through some miracle, came up classy.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can you believe that?

[H. Foley]

I can't. We had to have our research team go back and listen to the episode. And they said the verdict was classy, which I was astonished.

[Kevin Ryan]

Came up classy. So we're gonna rerun you through the Tesla. But somebody new a question. Cuz been a while. See if we can get you. All right.

[Rick Glassman]

I didn't realize that there was bringing a dog.

[Kevin Ryan]

Strike one.

[H. Foley]

Mm.

[Rick Glassman]

I didn't realize.

[H. Foley]

Put them on a dining room table. Strike two.

[Rick Glassman]

Dining room table.

[H. Foley]

I wear an issue.

[Rick Glassman]

Strike one. Do you guys watch the show Beat Bobby Flay.

[H. Foley]

I've seen it.

[Rick Glassman]

Of course, the judges that come on, they really want to beat Bobby Flay. And it's like, I guess. I mean, it's a cook. I don't see. Sure. But it seems like you guys, I didn't realize have an intention. We want to make sure we find them garbage. I didn't realize that you guys had a bias like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, we wanted. We wanted. We want to get to it because our theory, our hypothesis for the show is that everybody is really garbage. Well, how you grew up, no matter what you do.

[Rick Glassman]

Well, your theory has already been.

[H. Foley]

I'm trying to do a show here. Alvin, come here.

[Rick Glassman]

My life.

[Kevin Ryan]

Goddamn LA dog making dogs all over him.

[H. Foley]

I feel like I'm at a diddy party.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's got a little can of baby oil in his hand.

[H. Foley]

Glassman knows about those all right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mo LA kid.

[Rick Glassman]

More of a New York thing, though, than an LA thing.

[H. Foley]

I think he's Jersey, you know.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. That was all in LA. You weren't doing that in SoHo.

[H. Foley]

All right.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, let's get into it.

[H. Foley]

Let's see. Let's see what we can find. Because you are, you know, you are a man of pretty good culture, character. You're. You're thoughtful. Typically, the garbage comes from ridiculous. Yeah, the garbage. The garbage comes from not being thoughtful. It's like. Tends to be laziness sometimes, which you are not that kind of guy, which I think it's tough to find the dirt under the fingernails.

[Kevin Ryan]

Legendary basketball career, good athlete, good looking guy, well dressed, well put together.

[H. Foley]

Stop talking about me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Flashy making the scene out there.

[Rick Glassman]

You got. This is the nicest podcast I go on.

[H. Foley]

Just wait until the second half. Call rope a dope in the bed.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did you ever have braces? You ought to have braces.

[Rick Glassman]

No, but I have recently been talking. Oh, I have recently been talking to a dentist about needing. He wants me to get. Fix my bottom teeth. Because as we get older, almost 30. So as we get older, they get a little bit worse. And he thinks of the health of the bottom. So with moving the bottom, I might have to move the top. And I don't want to move the top.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're just sucker. In the end. Listen, they're white. They're good. That ain't gonna happen.

[Rick Glassman]

How did you know my dentist? Huh?

[H. Foley]

Dr. Liebowitz.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're white, they're good that day. He's trying to make a couple out.

[Rick Glassman]

Of black Dennis that I think are good.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got to have. You got to have a little character down here. I.

[Rick Glassman]

Look, I like my character.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

But they were saying for health reasons.

[H. Foley]

What's health like?

[Rick Glassman]

It's going to get hard to clean between the teeth.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's all bullshit. They're trying to suck.

[H. Foley]

That's like cleaning. That's like undercoating on a car.

[Rick Glassman]

Tooth fell out of yours when you said that. Just a way to lose credibility.

[H. Foley]

Do not. Do not take dental advice from both of us.

[Kevin Ryan]

You ever see actors in like the 80s or the 90s? God damn. No, it's like, even the chicks, it's like. Jesus Christ.

[H. Foley]

It's like the uk. Hello, Annette.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it's bad news.

[H. Foley]

Okay. All right, I got a couple. Let's just kind of get. One thing we do that has developed in the show since you've been here is notable alumni on Wikipedia for your high school. What was the high school you went to Orange? Orange? You're glad I didn't say junior high.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm looking forward to the back half of this thing.

[Kevin Ryan]

Orange High School in Ohio.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's it.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm confused. Did you. Are you looking up the notable alumni.

[H. Foley]

Of Orange High School?

[Rick Glassman]

Yes. Not before I got here.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

We do it on the spot.

[H. Foley]

How was I going to. How was I. How did I know what high school you went to?

[Kevin Ryan]

We're not creeps.

[Rick Glassman]

I mean, I was with you guys yesterday. You could have asked me.

[H. Foley]

I've never seen this guy in my life.

[Rick Glassman]

You talked about. Yeah, Orange High School.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just. That's it.

[H. Foley]

Orange. That sounds so made up.

[Kevin Ryan]

You had to go to, like, Orange. It's not like a tory school or private school.

[Rick Glassman]

I did go to pep.

[Kevin Ryan]

Pep?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean?

[Rick Glassman]

I feel like I talked about this on the first episode.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, you did a little bit.

[Rick Glassman]

Pep is a. Is a special school I had to go to for a year. It's called Positive education Program for the Troubled boys.

[H. Foley]

For the troubled boy, yeah. Glassman. He's a handful. All right. So did you find Orange High School? I found Orange High School.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

It's so weird that it's not like Orange County. Orange, just Orange High School.

[Rick Glassman]

Not that weird.

[Kevin Ryan]

Was the mask.

[H. Foley]

Very weird.

[Rick Glassman]

The orange. It was an orange lion. It was a lion.

[H. Foley]

Okay. The Orange notable alum. What do we got? We got George Stephanopoulos.

[Kevin Ryan]

Whoa.

[H. Foley]

Pretty good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Big wig over there at abc.

[H. Foley]

Vanessa Bayer. Whoa.

[Kevin Ryan]

SNL alum.

[H. Foley]

And Rick Glassman.

[Kevin Ryan]

Look at him.

[Rick Glassman]

Say me on whatever you're looking at. Really? Or you're saying that.

[H. Foley]

No, I'm not.

[Rick Glassman]

You.

[H. Foley]

You're on there.

[Rick Glassman]

What is that?

[H. Foley]

Notable alumni on your Orange High School's Wikipedia page?

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, it's on the Wikipedia page?

[H. Foley]

Yes, sir.

[Rick Glassman]

There's only three people on it. Yeah. And I'm one of them.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Look at that.

[H. Foley]

Pretty good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Go to the high school, look at the gym for your banner. We don't have that kind of resources.

[H. Foley]

Somebody retires. Jersey stat. All right. That's pretty good. Pretty good, huh?

[Rick Glassman]

That's awesome.

[H. Foley]

See why we do it on the show? This ain't my first time broadcasting, Rick.

[Kevin Ryan]

Look at that.

[Rick Glassman]

What is the percentage of people. When you look up notable alumni that they are on the list, you gotta.

[Kevin Ryan]

Be hitting a little hard. You got to be. You got to be making some moves.

[H. Foley]

Put it this way. We're not on our notable.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm a goddamn all state wrestler. I'm not on there. You believe that shit?

[Rick Glassman]

Have you tried Switching to State Farm. Maybe I'll give you a little recognition. We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors.

[H. Foley]

State Farm. Okay, I'm gonna. I got.

[Kevin Ryan]

What are you doing? Goddamn family show. You over there treating yourself like it's Bourbon Street.

[H. Foley]

Start throwing beads at him.

[Rick Glassman]

A lot of times you set. You do something. You do some Typ analogy joke, and you set it up. And I. Oh. And I often wonder, like, is he gonna find it? And I think you've landed every single time.

[Kevin Ryan]

Thank you, buddy.

[Rick Glassman]

Do you know Bourbon Street? Before you start talking about.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a Frank Costanza, I believe.

[Rick Glassman]

Okay. But a lot of times, you ever say something. Oh, you licking your paws, like. And you just trust you're gonna find it because you see the licking thing first. You know the structure, and you start. But then. I haven't seen you miss.

[Kevin Ryan]

I miss every once in a while.

[H. Foley]

I've never seen him throw a perfect game. Let's put it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got a couple of stinkers.

[H. Foley]

He got close to a perfect game one time. He was on acid. But that's, you know.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nice headphones. They're.

[H. Foley]

See, this is Panasonics.

[Rick Glassman]

Get my skull.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, get my skull.

[Rick Glassman]

All right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Classic Foley.

[Rick Glassman]

And we're back in 5, 4, 3.

[H. Foley]

Reset it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Here we go. Notable alumni.

[H. Foley]

All right.

[Kevin Ryan]

What was the college. Just refresh my memory.

[Rick Glassman]

Kent State.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ooh.

[H. Foley]

See if we get notable alum on Kent State. Let's see how high this. This Glassman goes.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's a lot of action over there.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm not going to be on that list.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what probably might be on that? Is former guest, Mr. Julian Edelman. Kent State crowd, I believe.

[Rick Glassman]

Joshua Cribbs.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who's that? He's the guy that got shot.

[H. Foley]

He invented Cribs. The TV show?

[Rick Glassman]

Invented Cribs. TV show.

[Kevin Ryan]

Were you a theater major over there?

[Rick Glassman]

Minor.

[Kevin Ryan]

Minor.

[Rick Glassman]

Well, I mean, for the first three years, I graduated early.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hello. What was your major? Political science. Marketing. Pretty good. Pretty good.

[Rick Glassman]

I though I didn't finish my minor degree in theater because I was two classes away. It was costume and lighting and I would have had to stay another semester.

[H. Foley]

I'm working in front of the curtain.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, you want to stay in a semester? You want to get to.

[Rick Glassman]

I already. It took me four and a half years because I retook some of my classes for my first semester for a thing called freshman forgiveness so I could bring my GPA up because I thought I was going to go to law school. I did four and a half years. I'm Like, I don't need to get a minor in theater with these two classes, so I graduated a little early.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're in court wearing all kinds of weird outfits.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. And the lighting was terrible.

[H. Foley]

Not on Kent State.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is Edelman on there?

[Rick Glassman]

Antonio Gates.

[Kevin Ryan]

Antonio Gates there?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Julian. He got like nine.

[H. Foley]

Super Bowl.

[Kevin Ryan]

Good looking kid, too.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, I was. What's his name?

[H. Foley]

Antonio Gates.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, he's there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Was anybody there famous when you went there? How was the squad that year?

[Rick Glassman]

Good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Their basketball team's not.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, they were good. They were. They were Elite eight when I was there.

[Kevin Ryan]

No shit.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. And Joshua Cribbs. Not Joshua Cribbs. Antonio Gates, who is. You know, is a. Played for the Chargers. Did. He was a basketball player. Not a football player in college.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right.

[Rick Glassman]

And then he went to the. He went from being a great basketball player in college to then in the NFL.

[Kevin Ryan]

Isn't that crazy, Man, Those dudes do that shit. Athletic ability I do not have.

[H. Foley]

You both almost died coming up the stairs today.

[Kevin Ryan]

So we'll have more of that at 11. What was the first concert you went to? I don't think we had that question when you were here last. First music concert.

[Rick Glassman]

It was either George Thorogood.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

Or Metallica.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

Or the up in Smoke tour. All of those were high school and.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was up in Smoke.

[H. Foley]

That's a good tour.

[Rick Glassman]

Dre, Eminem, it was the whole Aftermath.

[H. Foley]

It was everybody.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, well, I did it. It was an evening show, but, yeah, those were the first three concerts. And I don't know which was first.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now would you go your mom. Like you were a young kid, your mom would Drop yous off.

[Rick Glassman]

George Thorogood. My. My brother took me because he.

[Kevin Ryan]

How do you get into George Thoroughgood?

[Rick Glassman]

Because I love. I. I like many people our age. You guys are 28. No, I. I was a big. Am a big Schwarzenegger fan and a big Terminator 2 fan. And b B to the Bone. I used to love that song.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

So my brother assumed I would love George Thorogood, and he wasn't lying. So my brother took me to that one. Metallica. I went with some friends.

[Kevin Ryan]

Would that be the Ride the Lightning tour?

[Rick Glassman]

I don't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

You'd be too young for that.

[Rick Glassman]

I don't.

[H. Foley]

28. I mean, I had to be like, reload or something.

[Rick Glassman]

I just wanted to have a good time with my friends and nothing else matters, you know?

[H. Foley]

Sure. This guy's good. This guy is good. He doesn't get. Doesn't get the puns. He doesn't get the words.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not good with the puns.

[H. Foley]

Let's see. Do you know who. Who Chum Lee is?

[Rick Glassman]

That's that Asian guy who does a lot of fishing videos.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wait, who's Chum Lee?

[H. Foley]

You don't know who Chum Lee is? Take his fucking microphone. What am I doing with these bozos surrounding me?

[Kevin Ryan]

Chum Lee. Not the guy that sings Gangnam Style because that guy moves some goddamn tickets.

[H. Foley]

Is that the guy that comes up from underneath the stage that gets me rock hard it. We can afford to do that at a live show. I don't care if that's the. All the money. We're doing it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, I know. You said it like he was Asian.

[H. Foley]

I don't. I don't see. I don't look at the guy's color.

[Rick Glassman]

You don't see color.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know who Chum Lee is?

[Rick Glassman]

That's the Asian guy who does all the fishing goodies. Did you get that? The first time I got you making.

[Kevin Ryan]

A slick out the big tuner. He's the guy from fucking Pawn Stars, okay?

[H. Foley]

Have you ever seen Pawn Stars?

[Rick Glassman]

It. It's on. I watch for a second. Sometimes I see clips when someone is trying to sell a comic book or a magic card.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, pretty good.

[Rick Glassman]

Or Pokemon card.

[H. Foley]

Do you know what the time bandit is?

[Rick Glassman]

I mean, unfortunately, we're all beholden to him. No.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who's the time bit?

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, are you asking?

[H. Foley]

Are you gonna do this to me in public?

[Kevin Ryan]

Fucking. What do you got A&E's website or something like that?

[H. Foley]

I'm trying to see what he know. I'm trying. 99 of the listeners know. Fucking Chumley in the Time Band.

[Kevin Ryan]

Have you ever met Mike Rowe?

[H. Foley]

Is your job dirty? Huh?

[Rick Glassman]

Loved that show.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

He taught. He was the one who offered. Taught me the perspective that, like, it's.

[H. Foley]

People never thought Chumlee would be an Asian guy. That's not. That's so not the way you said it.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know, Chum Lee.

[H. Foley]

I didn't hit a gong when I said it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I thought it was a kung fu star.

[H. Foley]

Okay? Just very funny. Like Michelle Yeast, assume he's Asian.

[Kevin Ryan]

Every.

[Rick Glassman]

All these jobs are necessary and.

[H. Foley]

To.

[Rick Glassman]

Be proud of doing some of these dirty jobs.

[Kevin Ryan]

Of course.

[Rick Glassman]

Like what you guys are doing.

[Kevin Ryan]

Thank you.

[Rick Glassman]

I mean, how many. How much time do you put in to make all these Patreon videos? It's fucking filthy what you do.

[H. Foley]

It's really got to roll up the sleeves and get in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Get Mike Rowan here. Let him see my lunch order.

[H. Foley]

Find out the best Way to eat a hot dog.

[Rick Glassman]

You guys are so funny.

[Kevin Ryan]

The show is sponsored by BetterHelp Gang. As somebody who is taking the talk therapy journey, I can strongly recommend betterhelp. If you got something going on, whether it's big, whether it's small, whether it's something from your childhood that you have unresolved or work stuff or whatever, talk to BetterHelp Man. They can really help you out. You could do it from the privacy of your own home and in your town. They might not have certain specialists that you need that you can find. On BetterHelp. We're talking about talking to a licensed therapist. Do yourself a favor, make your life easier and the lives of the people around you that you love.

[H. Foley]

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[Kevin Ryan]

Look at that.

[H. Foley]

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[Kevin Ryan]

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[H. Foley]

I'm hard right now, gang.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, you're not. That's why you need bluechew.

[H. Foley]

I'm hard. You just can't see it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, right. You're a limp noodle and I'm one too. And we know we got a few of you out there. Listen, you get a little bit older, you put on a couple of pounds, you need a little goddamn help. And here's the turkey talking about the new Blue Chew. Max active ingredients is a Viagra and Cialis into one chewable tablet combo that acts fast and last.

[H. Foley]

Unlike you. How you doing?

[Kevin Ryan]

Knock the bottom out of something.

[H. Foley]

Something you can swing from. Guys, be ready when she. I'm getting all hot and bothered under here thinking about hold ons. Be ready when she's ready. And get your first month of Blue Chew for free, baby. Dinner and Blue Chew tablets are made in the good old usa. I'm talking homegrown bones, baby. You can give that to Kippy. Stamp of approval. It's prepared and shipped directly to Your door. The best part, it's all done online. That means no awkward visits where they're gonna doctors like. Anything else. I don't know, you go right to the doctor. Bada bing, bada boom. No awkward conversations, no waiting in line at the pharmacy. Shipped right to your door. Make life easier by getting harder. And discover your [e-mail] we got a special deal for AYG listeners. Try your first month of BlueChew for free. When you use the promo code garbage, just pay five bucks for the shipping. Just gotta cover the shipping.

[Kevin Ryan]

There you go.

[H. Foley]

That's promo code garbage. Visit bluechew.com for more details, important safety information. And we thank Bluechew for sponsoring the podcast.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes, we do.

[H. Foley]

Do you remember any of your AOL screen names or your instant message or early email address?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, and I'm not gonna tell you why. It's not because I'm embarrassed.

[H. Foley]

It's because sounds like you're embarrassed. That's what I got. That's what I got. And be embarrassed.

[Rick Glassman]

Say, what was I? I use them as aliases still for certain things.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very nice.

[H. Foley]

So yeah, I'm Spitfire. Five, four, two. What of it? I'm B Ball Jams one one one.

[Kevin Ryan]

As a.

[H. Foley]

As a.

[Kevin Ryan]

As a 29 year old or video game related.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha. Fair enough. Say no more.

[Kevin Ryan]

As a 29 year old man, what was your first cellular phone sidekick and provider? Nexto.

[Rick Glassman]

I could, I could picture the phone, but I don't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

Razer.

[Rick Glassman]

Razer was, was. Wasn't my first, but that was the first one that I was like, you're.

[Kevin Ryan]

Flexing, you're doing it.

[Rick Glassman]

One sec. You know, open it like that. On the bus, just basketball, basketball games. Just doing this.

[H. Foley]

The. No, look, Flip.

[Rick Glassman]

I had a pager during 9 11, just that day. Well, after that I'm like, that's kind of weird. And it was one of those pagers that you got. You got a line of some news. And I went to school late and the first tower was.

[H. Foley]

I mean, hold on. You had to be how old? You're 28 now.

[Kevin Ryan]

A little businessman.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, you gotta be like 11 or younger than that.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's cutting deals or selling rock.

[H. Foley]

I don't think he's 28.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think he is.

[H. Foley]

He's not 28.

[Rick Glassman]

Have you seen my teeth?

[Kevin Ryan]

He's not 35.

[H. Foley]

See if you can get. See if we can get you. See if Google will. I already googled. How old is he?

[Kevin Ryan]

Wait, hold on.

[H. Foley]

He's not 28.

[Kevin Ryan]

Let me guess.

[H. Foley]

This is a multiple Day.

[Kevin Ryan]

You are Hollywood. Wait, you're going lower.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm 28.

[Kevin Ryan]

A lady never tells.

[H. Foley]

I'm not 32.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm 32.

[H. Foley]

That makes sense. Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

You know what's interesting about what you just did?

[H. Foley]

How old is he?

[Rick Glassman]

You know. You know?

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Rick Glassman]

You know what's interesting? What you're doing right now, you're not playing with me. You're being afraid of your bosses, which shows me how garbage they actually are. I'm 40 today. He's 40 today.

[H. Foley]

Today you are.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, you're.

[H. Foley]

And tomorrow and yesterday.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, you're not.

[H. Foley]

I'm looking right here. 19. He's older than me. There's no way. There's no way. He's 28 and had a pager at 9 11. He would have had to been 3 years old.

[Rick Glassman]

I mean, I would have been born in 97. I would have. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Three or four kids cutting deals because I had a pager in, like, fifth grade and, you know. Yeah, no. Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

But anyway, on the pager, they. We were getting the news. I got there late. The first tower art was, you know, they didn't know there was any malfeasance. Maybe there was malfeasance. Snowfall, play. And. And then we got the. I remember on the thing, I was getting, like, the second tower hit, and I was on the pager, like, that's where we got our news. And then I called my dad. And then I just remember everyone just, like, did their own thing and, like, they left school.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

And now here we are in the greatest city in the world.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's right, baby.

[Rick Glassman]

New York City.

[Kevin Ryan]

I knew something was up as soon.

[Rick Glassman]

As it hit with the greatest fire department. What? Did you know that was it?

[Kevin Ryan]

Something was going on. I don't like it.

[Rick Glassman]

There's a lot of praise going on for the LA firefighters right now. Of course, some of the New York firefighters are feeling a little like, oh, you know, they're forgetting about us.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. Those. Those fire. Listen, I worked in a bar on the Upper east side during 9 11.

[Rick Glassman]

Quit bragging.

[H. Foley]

Those guys sold weed out of the back. It worked. That is.

[Kevin Ryan]

Those guys were killing it for a few months with the ladies.

[H. Foley]

They still do. All right, man. You're down in the Village. They walk. Dude, if you're down in the Village and a group of them walk out and they're, like, dressed blues or they walk into the bar, it's over.

[Rick Glassman]

Do you think that they would have as much respect from the generation that currently does respect them and wants to have sex with Them or blow them or the LA.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, of course.

[Rick Glassman]

If it weren't for 9 11.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Good.

[H. Foley]

I think so.

[Rick Glassman]

They do a lot. They've done. They do a lot, but they've done a lot before and they've done a lot since.

[H. Foley]

God damn.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was a big one, though. That really put him over the top. Yeah, I remember him catching Hummers in the bar.

[Rick Glassman]

What do you mean? You saw them getting blown?

[H. Foley]

Well, he was blown them, so it's tough to not see when there's a wiener in your mouth. But it is a fake family program.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got the firefighter element on.

[H. Foley]

You got the suspenders. All right.

[Rick Glassman]

You do some fun stuff with your tongue when you laugh.

[H. Foley]

I know that thing's got a mind.

[Kevin Ryan]

I take a lot of heat for it, too. It's involuntary. Just a big fat baby.

[Rick Glassman]

I. I haven't met voluntary, but I do think that, you know, sometimes you do a play on words. It was a pitch. I don't need to make the joke. All right, go ahead. Who's Ching L?

[Kevin Ryan]

Are you a cologne guy at all? We know you're very meticulous about your hygiene. All that. No boots in the shower.

[Rick Glassman]

Like when you said hygiene. You didn't have boots in the shower. When did boots in the shower come? Have you ever said boots in the shower before?

[H. Foley]

I think he meant feet in the shower.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I meant wearing boots in the shower.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh. Because yesterday I had the security guard. I thought you were just saying you're so fucking filthy that you wear boots in a shower. Ah, is which I say when I'm getting a throat culture. I used to sell cologne and perfume at the mall because that's what my mom did.

[H. Foley]

But no family business.

[Rick Glassman]

I don't like it. I think it's poison. I'm super sensitive to it. I've been with humble brag. I've been with women who wear perfume, and sometimes I'll have to ask them as a comp. Listen, I don't want to tell you what you can and can't do, but.

[H. Foley]

You smell like a huah.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm a little sensitive.

[H. Foley]

Honey, go take a shower. All right?

[Rick Glassman]

If you're gonna wear it, could you at least instead of spraying it on you, could you just walk through it? I don't like it. What you.

[Kevin Ryan]

What you're supposed to do? You're supposed to do a little. Here, rub your together.

[Rick Glassman]

I don't even believe this.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do a little on the neck.

[Rick Glassman]

Just walk through it. Or spray it and wipe your shirt through it. Give a hint.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a Sebastian. You do five spritzes and walk through it.

[H. Foley]

I think famously, Rosie O'Donnell used to do 40 spritzes. See if you can find. She would do four. She would do like 5, 5, 5, 5, 5,. 5, 5, 5. It was like. It was a wild combination.

[Kevin Ryan]

I like to have a little on my. On my neck here so when I do the hug, people know that I smell good. Especially no. With the no heaters.

[Rick Glassman]

Sure, with the no heaters.

[H. Foley]

They're off the Sig.

[Kevin Ryan]

No Sigs.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, I thought. Got it. I thought you stopped playing baseball.

[Kevin Ryan]

You ever smell a fat guy in the winter after he just had a heater and walked into a bar?

[Rick Glassman]

Eleanor Roosevelt, right?

[Kevin Ryan]

I think it was Chamberlain.

[H. Foley]

Will Chamberlain.

[Kevin Ryan]

Lee, can I say this? The fact that you're. I don't know if you told us this last time you're here, but the fact that your mom worked at the perfume counter.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, he did mention. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Makes me love her because my Aunt Jill did that. And man, the atmosphere in there, especially around the holidays. Oh, just smells great in there. They were all classy broads. They had jewelry, they had the makeup. I loved it, man. There's nothing like an old school perfume counter, like a Bloomingdale's or a Macy's. Really nice.

[H. Foley]

We have Rosie. Old wives tale, it seems, but there's a lot of rumblings on the Internet. I saw the show. I used to be. Let's pull. Let's break the fourth wall. I used to be a big fan of the Rosie O'Donnell program. 10:00, I believe on ABC. Big, huge fan. And I saw it with my own eyes because I remember going, that's a lot of perfume.

[Rick Glassman]

You saw her spray it or you.

[H. Foley]

Saw she did it on the show? 40 spritzes. You're in the Reddit.

[Rick Glassman]

You're part of the rumblings.

[H. Foley]

What's my screen name?

[Rick Glassman]

I got one.

[H. Foley]

I was Spitfire542 for a very long time.

[Kevin Ryan]

Strikeout119.

[H. Foley]

Lady lovers 69420.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did you ever close off of that in college?

[H. Foley]

It wasn't college. Oh, college. It was probably something different. It was probably like, please, please, please.

[Rick Glassman]

Close off of what? His screen name?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You do instant messages.

[Kevin Ryan]

I thought all you kids did instant messenger in college. Hey, what are you doing?

[Rick Glassman]

We just got back. I asked my. My now ex to prom on instant messenger.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You didn't do it straight up?

[Rick Glassman]

No, I. We were dating for six months before I even kissed her.

[Kevin Ryan]

When are you in high school?

[H. Foley]

Did she know that?

[Kevin Ryan]

Stalking either way.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, she knew that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did she say yes?

[Rick Glassman]

You tell me. Cut to the clip.

[H. Foley]

She's him crying.

[Kevin Ryan]

Crying in your driveway. Okay. You put a suit on for that prom. Nice suit.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did you get her a thing of flowers?

[Rick Glassman]

I think a corsage.

[H. Foley]

And how'd you get to that? Said promotion.

[Kevin Ryan]

Were you driving at the time?

[Rick Glassman]

I think we. I don't remember.

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh. Were you drinking?

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, no.

[Kevin Ryan]

No drinking.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Rick Glassman]

No, sir.

[Kevin Ryan]

No drinking. No drugs.

[H. Foley]

No, sir.

[Rick Glassman]

No, sir.

[H. Foley]

I had one beer.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did you go out afterwards?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, we went to an after prom party, which was the after prom was at the high school. And then after that we went to a friend's house where everyone slept there. And so we had been dating. Sarah and I had been dating for a little bit. And now we're at after prom together. And this is like, the time. And we're sitting, like, in a big chair in the living room, and someone was sleeping on the couch, so it's not that much private, but we were there, and she fell asleep on me here. And I remember I kissed the top of her head. And I wasn't sure if that's okay, but also, I know she liked me. And it's just the top of the head. It's fine. And that's what. That was kind of my first kiss with a girl. Look at me now. Three notable. Whatever the.

[Kevin Ryan]

For my saddest I ever heard, he kissed her like a gray. What are you tell you kids?

[Rick Glassman]

I tell you, we ended up. We ended up kids. He's forcibly kissing and stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, that's.

[H. Foley]

I mean, that's. To have the wherewithal at that point to be like, can I kiss the top of your head?

[Rick Glassman]

And then to do it, I would.

[H. Foley]

Have been hunking gazookas. You know, at a different time, I had my pager on me. All right, let's. All right. He's a squirrely one, this guy. At any point, did you or anyone in your family ever have a wooden toilet seat?

[Kevin Ryan]

I could see both ways.

[Rick Glassman]

I don't think so.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh. Right.

[Rick Glassman]

Now, do you have a really funny question?

[H. Foley]

Do you have a pepper shaker or a pepper grinder?

[Kevin Ryan]

He's got to have an automatic. You. I'm sure you have it.

[H. Foley]

What's the pepper sitch?

[Rick Glassman]

I have whole kernels that I grind.

[Kevin Ryan]

You grind manually or do you have the.

[Rick Glassman]

No, no, no, you'll never.

[H. Foley]

You have a mortar and pestle.

[Rick Glassman]

I. I don't know. It's not one of the ones.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, no.

[Rick Glassman]

You're not at a restaurant sometimes Grater. Sometimes, because I. I prepare my food in the kitchen and then I eat in the living room for my television. And sometimes I have the food on the tray in my living room, and I don't want to go all the way in there with the pepper. So I could just get the big one. Hold on, let me just do it from back there.

[H. Foley]

Big pin in that. There's a tray involved.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You bring a tray out, a TV tray, A proper.

[Rick Glassman]

Just a tray. Like.

[H. Foley]

Like at a cafe you would get in a cafeteria.

[Rick Glassman]

They're a little nicer, you know, So I. I just always had trays. And there's a wood. Woodworking Pelican was the. This guy's name. It's. He's changed it, but he's this guy that works with wooden. I'm forgetting his name, his new business. But he saw me talk about, like, a trace so much, and he made me a beautiful custom. A pair of these custom trays.

[H. Foley]

That's pretty good.

[Rick Glassman]

He also came to my Seattle show and he brought me these beautiful coasters that he made that look, look, look like this. But, you know, real.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, it's a great coaster.

[H. Foley]

Great coasters. Pine in Maine.

[Kevin Ryan]

Pine in Maine.

[H. Foley]

Is that the company?

[Rick Glassman]

I wouldn't know if you. Why is that. What is that what it says? Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Well, I.

[Rick Glassman]

Does it say woodworking? Pelican?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Now pine in Maine.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

It's like a maker.

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh? That's very classy.

[Rick Glassman]

But I love it. I love it on trade because you have everything there.

[H. Foley]

That's so smart. I never. I wanted to make fun of you, but that's fucking pretty.

[Kevin Ryan]

I carry all my shit out like an animal.

[H. Foley]

Sometimes I put a Lacroix under my. Under my. In my armpit to get it out there. So I don't.

[Rick Glassman]

Sure. Do you guys like to eat in front of the television?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

And then you have your tray and you could. You could make a mess on the tray. Put your sauces, put your drinks, whatever. And then you just bring the tray to the kitchen, throw the stuff in the sink, throw stuff in the garbage, wipe down the tray.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now that's something you saw your mom do when you were a kid.

[Rick Glassman]

No, no, no. Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

Maybe that's very. Mom. When you're sick, they bring a tray over.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. It's like breakfast in bed type stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm not connecting that. That reason. I think. I think I just like having everything. I just want it here. Also, it's easy to, like, this is mine because if I'm sitting with somebody else this is my tray. That's your tray.

[H. Foley]

I got to do this.

[Kevin Ryan]

So hold on. To backtrack, it's right up my pepper and salt grinder. They're not automatic that you have to manually salt.

[Rick Glassman]

I use Milton's, Malden, Morton's Malden.

[H. Foley]

Very nice.

[Rick Glassman]

Finishing salt.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Very nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

And you do the little.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, I do not.

[Kevin Ryan]

Automatic.

[Rick Glassman]

No surprise.

[Kevin Ryan]

You don't have automatics. They're very big.

[Rick Glassman]

Now you're gonna change a battery, you're gonna throw it away.

[H. Foley]

Gas powered?

[Kevin Ryan]

No. You put it in its USB charge.

[Rick Glassman]

When I turn it, I feel like I'm cooking.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

You know, and it doesn't have much cleanup. It's not a waste of my. Of my energy. It's like, you know what? What could I do to personalize this meal? You know what?

[Kevin Ryan]

All right. Any pink Himalayan salt in the house?

[Rick Glassman]

I got it. But I'm a Maldens boy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Malden's is classy.

[Rick Glassman]

Malden's is great.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sounds like an old comedy club doing Malden's.

[H. Foley]

Who's booking that?

[Rick Glassman]

They get mad that a lot of comics aren't wanting to go there anymore because it's too far away.

[Kevin Ryan]

Maldens.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, they're just getting a little.

[H. Foley]

Send a bus going to pick you up from the airport.

[Kevin Ryan]

And hold on, just to backtrack. One more thing. Kevin. Yeah, My partner, my associate, that's me. Smart guy, good guy. Mentioned a mortar and pestle. Are you not aware of what that is?

[Rick Glassman]

And that is our time.

[Kevin Ryan]

Rose.

[Rick Glassman]

Is that where you grind it in the thing like you're making mojitos?

[Kevin Ryan]

Mojitos. That's a muddler.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. You would do that in the glass of water and pestle.

[Rick Glassman]

Avocado.

[H. Foley]

That's a comic from the 80s.

[Rick Glassman]

The muddler make out. Johnny Muddler.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. You don't got that?

[Rick Glassman]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Where do you get your household items? Are you a William Sonoma fellow? Are you ordering online?

[Rick Glassman]

I mean, I have some stuff from Williams Sonoma.

[H. Foley]

Do you have a stainless steel pan?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you have a croissant or. What's it called?

[H. Foley]

La Crusade?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, I don't. I think I do.

[H. Foley]

The color. They're like, colored bright colors.

[Rick Glassman]

You don't see those.

[H. Foley]

I don't.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, I do. I actually. I have one from Williams Sonoma. My. The iron.

[Kevin Ryan]

Cast iron.

[H. Foley]

You know, the big pot.

[Kevin Ryan]

The big pot.

[Rick Glassman]

Not the pot.

[Kevin Ryan]

The, like, saute pan.

[Rick Glassman]

No, it's something that you could put in the oven.

[H. Foley]

Cheese grater, Dutch oven.

[Kevin Ryan]

Put in the oven.

[Rick Glassman]

It's about this big sheet Square baking sheet. It's square tray.

[Kevin Ryan]

Does it have a lid on it?

[H. Foley]

No, Buddy, I'm giving you everything in a kitchen, right?

[Rick Glassman]

I'm one step away from refrigerator, something. Picture it like a big square bowl.

[H. Foley]

That you could put.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like a lasagna tray.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm not. You could probably make lasagna in it. Yeah, I would.

[H. Foley]

You can make cereal in it if you wanted to.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

All right.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, I have some nice.

[H. Foley]

Playing hardball with the kitchen.

[Rick Glassman]

I have nice cooking appliances.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do all of your silverware is all. Do you have a complete set of silverware or do you have mismatched.

[Rick Glassman]

I have, I guess, technically mismatched. But the. But the least mismatched it could be. I had my silverware that I've been using, and then my mom's like, uncle Bob has this stuff. Do you want. I'm like, no, no, no, no. I looked at him like, this is actually. I like the knives.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

So I just took the set and I added it to my collection. So I kind of have two sets. I have the good forks. I have the not good forks.

[H. Foley]

I got a logistical question on this. Where is Uncle Bob? Still with us, I believe.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know this. Uncle Bob passed.

[H. Foley]

I thought, no, he's shaking his head yes. And you're going, rick, you're wrong on this one. I got news for you. Check your patreon.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, Uncle Bob. Uncle Bob is client advocate of fix of fixed communication of communications and fixed voice. Will you look up Uncle Bob? I'll do it.

[H. Foley]

Search my Uncle Bob.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, he is big in the telecast game right now. Telecast Telecom.

[H. Foley]

Telecom.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know what either those are. Sounds smart, though. Shout out to Uncle Bob.

[H. Foley]

Shout out to Chum Lane.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's doing good enough. He's giving away silverware.

[H. Foley]

Well, here. Where does Uncle Bob live? Where were the knives?

[Rick Glassman]

He's an economic development and client advocate of Internet bandwidth and fixed voice communication.

[Kevin Ryan]

Whoa.

[H. Foley]

That sounds like lobbyist if you ask me.

[Rick Glassman]

So there's a running. Running joke in the family that I didn't bring up until maybe 10 years ago at a Thanksgiving, I said, uncle Bob, what do you do? Like, nobody knows what uncle. Like, I don't know what Uncle Bob does. And everyone in the family started laughing. And that's when we realized that nobody knows what Uncle Bob does, but nobody's brought it up to him. And since then, and I've had him on my podcast numerous times to try to explain what he does for a.

[Kevin Ryan]

Living and does well. Uncle Bob.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, he does well. He's big into 21 1.

[Kevin Ryan]

21 1.

[Rick Glassman]

Look up 21 1. Which was. Did a lot during the, the, the LA fires he helped set up. 21 1.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is that like 31 1, like information?

[Rick Glassman]

A little bit less.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

It's 100 less for like help with health, human and social services. That would be like our 31 1.

[Kevin Ryan]

He said, that's new to LA. They didn't have a.

[Rick Glassman]

No, it's new to being pub. Like a lot of people didn't know about it, but during the fire, people like you could call 231 if you need help.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, pretty good.

[Rick Glassman]

And Uncle Bob was involved in that in some capacity. I don't understand him.

[H. Foley]

Late now.

[Kevin Ryan]

Firefighters, let's go.

[H. Foley]

How did you get the knives from Cleveland to Los Angeles?

[Rick Glassman]

I'm in Cleveland all the time.

[H. Foley]

So they live in Cleveland?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, no.

[H. Foley]

So you. I'm trying to get.

[Kevin Ryan]

He flew back with silverware.

[H. Foley]

He flew back with used silverware from Uncle Bob, which to me is pretty fucking crazy.

[Rick Glassman]

Wasn't used.

[H. Foley]

You said Uncle Bob has this silverware.

[Rick Glassman]

There was a set that there was. It was a gift or something.

[H. Foley]

An unopened box was. The bot was in a container.

[Rick Glassman]

I don't remember, but probably. I don't think I would have wanted just some loose knives.

[H. Foley]

Well, that's the way you spun it. You said my Uncle Bob. Your mom said, Uncle Bob's got these knives.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hold on. To Rick's credit, he doesn't strike me as a loose silverware kind of guy. The show is sponsored by Liquid iv.

[H. Foley]

Uh huh.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I'll be honest with you, so is my whole life. Cause I'm all about that liquid IV, man.

[H. Foley]

It's great.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've had about 10 of them.

[H. Foley]

That's a little too much so far. This ring, he'd be floating away.

[Kevin Ryan]

I love it, man. Listen, you're sick, you're hungover, I guess if you went to the gym, whatever.

[H. Foley]

So they tell me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Liquid iv, dude, it's so good. Hydrates you three times faster than water comes in so many delicious flavors. Sugar free. Listen, we talk about Liquid IV all the time. We use it, we love it. We cannot recommend it enough.

[H. Foley]

Yes, we have it in the office. I have it at the house. I have it in the burbs on the road. Lucas job on the road is to bring like 50 packs of liquid IV for the whole team. Because we wake up, bada bing, bada boom. Being hydrated wasn't a thing you ever thought about. Now that I've like use it, I go, I used to Use it when I'm hungover or whatever. Now I go. I use it every day. Just to feel good. Just to feel hydrated, baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

Concord grape.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I like the new berry. Sugar free when I eat. Don't treat yourself to extraordinary hydration from Liquid IV. Get 20% off your first order of Liquid IV when you go to Liquid IV.com and use the code garbage at checkout. That's 20% off your first order with code garbage. You know it. Liquid iv dot com.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do it, Kip. Talk about true classics.

[H. Foley]

Shout out to True Classics.

[Kevin Ryan]

And it ain't just T shirts no more. They got a lot of stuff over there. True Classics. Do yourself favor, go to our website, check out what they got. The most comfortable. I'm gonna say it right now. This ain't in the copy. Most durable T shirt you can buy.

[H. Foley]

Big man puts a wear on them.

[Kevin Ryan]

When you wash them, I swear to God, they get better, they get more comfy. They even get like thicker in a weird way. That's not. That's my opinion. Okay?

[H. Foley]

This hasn't been checked out by NASA.

[Kevin Ryan]

This ain't FDA approved, sure. But they are fantastic T shirts. They fit great if you're a bigger.

[H. Foley]

Guy, they fit great for big guys.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're tight on the pipes, loose on the belly. Again, tight on the pipes, loose on the belly. True Classics. Do your false.

[H. Foley]

Stop calling your arms pipes. By the way, they also have activewear, moisture wicking, odor fighting, quick drying, antimicrobial, baby. They got long sleeve Henleys, fleece hoodies, jeans, button ups, joggers and more. They got you covered, baby. Premium clothes at an affordable price. They have the perfect outfit in five minutes or less. Everything goes great together. Best selling T shirts, jeans, hoodies. Three, six. Three packs. Six packs, nine packs. How you doing? Out the door. These guys are moving units. Get in on the ground floor with them. Whether you're building up for the cold, bundling up for the cold, or getting ready for the spring, level up your style with clothes that fit just right. Use our exclusive link trueclassic.com garbage to save. That's trueclassic.com garbage shop now and elevate your wardrobe today. Do it. Wow. Okay, so you flew back with the knives in some sort of container.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, unless my mom brought them when she visited. I don't remember how. I. How.

[H. Foley]

Okay, that. I'll give you that. That would make more sense.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's a question. When the folks come out, do they stay with you or do they get a hotel?

[Rick Glassman]

Hotel.

[Kevin Ryan]

They got a hotel. Could you hold them at that. Could you have them at the house?

[Rick Glassman]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really?

[Rick Glassman]

I. I know I don't have a. My guest bedroom is an office, which I'm actually thinking of turning into a guest bedroom.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

But no. And they don't want to. I don't. I go to their hotel. I see them.

[Kevin Ryan]

I respect that.

[H. Foley]

That's a classy way to go to hotel.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

At a hotel. Do you care?

[Rick Glassman]

Really?

[H. Foley]

Owe anybody any money? Not a large sum, but, like, 20 bucks from this or dinner or 10 bucks or 5 bucks from here.

[Kevin Ryan]

No. When's the last time you sent a Venmo request?

[Rick Glassman]

I don't have Venmo, my man.

[H. Foley]

You.

[Rick Glassman]

What do you like about that?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. It's classy. Opera.

[Rick Glassman]

We got PayPal, but I got into PayPal back in the early days when I was selling magic cards on ebay. Let's put A and Dragon Ball Z VCDs.

[Kevin Ryan]

Magic. How do you spell magic?

[Rick Glassman]

M, A, G. Okay.

[H. Foley]

I C, D, O, R, K. Magic the Gathering. Was that a lucrative business for you.

[Rick Glassman]

Buying and selling collectibles? Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You were.

[Kevin Ryan]

You were a Pokemon guy.

[Rick Glassman]

I collected Pokemon a little bit, but. But I was more a magic player.

[H. Foley]

What's that called? Arbitrage. Where you buy for, you know, arbitrary. No, I think it's arbitrage.

[Rick Glassman]

Albatross assignment.

[H. Foley]

No, I'm not sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

What is magic. What's the difference between Magic the Gathering?

[H. Foley]

It's arbitrage, right? Yeah, I think it's.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's the difference between Magic the Gathering and Pokemon?

[H. Foley]

Listen, if you have to ask, you can't afford it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Other than a kiss on the forehead. Make way for the paying customers.

[H. Foley]

You're just gonna be here kicking tires. I'll send you to the house to watch.

[Kevin Ryan]

Trying to move merchandise. I have some used silverware you might be interested in.

[H. Foley]

I'm on PayPal right now.

[Rick Glassman]

I never played Pokemon. I look at Pokemon more as, like, I punch you, you punch me. Magic is a little more strategy. I think of it like an adult Pokemon.

[H. Foley]

It's your mana pool. I remember that.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, it's. There's more strategy there. It's. It's. It's chess with cards.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. And you get. Instead of having a set amount of pieces, you build your own deck. And you could cast your spells and have your planeswalkers and have your creatures.

[H. Foley]

I remember trying and not being. The only thing I ever retained was mana football.

[Rick Glassman]

Well, you need somewhere to relax.

[H. Foley]

Your mana was your land or something.

[Rick Glassman]

Currency. Yes, land, but, like, basically to cast Spells, typically, you need to have a certain amount of mana. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Should have cast a spell on Sari. You might have got a little action.

[Rick Glassman]

That night we had sex and she blew me, and I ate her out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay?

[Rick Glassman]

We had a kiss.

[Kevin Ryan]

First jump from a kiss on the forehead.

[H. Foley]

This guy can collode.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did you guys know at the time that those cards were gonna be worth something?

[H. Foley]

Yeah, they were. You knew. Cause I remember that I got into it for that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like, did you keep. You did.

[H. Foley]

I was trying to wet my beak on this, man. Hey, there's the land deal. There's enough around.

[Rick Glassman]

Dual Lands are really paying top dollar for these. Dual Lands are in the thousands of dollars now.

[H. Foley]

I remember going to a guy to buy a deck, and he was like, you could. There's a thing he was selling me. Now that I look back on it, he fucking. He Glassman to me, he was like, they could. This day. You're looking for this card. It could be in here. So I bought, like, three decks. I got all. Man, I was screwed.

[Kevin Ryan]

What would you go, like, every Saturday when a new deck came out?

[Rick Glassman]

Fnm. Friday Night magic.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was that the name of the place.

[Rick Glassman]

Friday Night magic is a thing that, like, card stores have. Friday magic. That's what it is. You know, you have. There's Monday Night Football this Friday night.

[H. Foley]

There's that place in the village, like, where across the street from the Chest. It's like they. They have that. Oh, yeah, table game, like a card game type spot.

[Rick Glassman]

And you'd go and. And my dad would drop me off at the card store on Friday night, and they were open till midnight, and that's where. And you would play. And there was a Papa John's across the street, and I don't eat cheese, but Papa John's I always refer to as easy peel pizza. Because if I was gonna get a whole pizza, I wanted to split it with somebody because I, like, at the time, I couldn't really afford a proper pizza. I would want to get my own pizza without cheese. But there, I'm like, hey, we'll get it with cheese. And also, if you want, I'll even give you my cheese. And I would peel it off with the fork. You just take it from the base, and you could peel it off in one piece, one big triangle. So I would. And I would. I loved Papa John's, dude.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what's funny is we would have been good friends, because for a long time, I was just cheese. I didn't like the pizza. And I would peel it off when it got like maybe 10 minutes out of the oven, and I'd roll it up and then put it on my mouth like a piece of gum and then take sips of the soda and it would harden in my mouth.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, that's. That's.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's all right. We have to check, please.

[Rick Glassman]

That's all right.

[H. Foley]

Surrounded by queso freaks.

[Kevin Ryan]

How old of a fellow were you when you were doing this on a Friday night?

[Rick Glassman]

High school?

[Kevin Ryan]

Like, like after freshman year? Like sophomore, junior, senior year?

[Rick Glassman]

Probably mostly like 9, 10, 11. Okay, maybe 12.

[H. Foley]

That's all a high school. Maybe a little bit of college. I'm not sure. Shout out Kent State.

[Kevin Ryan]

Cause that doesn't sound like a bad Friday night. They'd let you hang out in the store.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, you know, I know. I was going there younger too. So pre high school into high school, I guess I'm now remembering because I remember the.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, you're not eating chicks out if you're going to Friday night magic.

[Rick Glassman]

I had to date a girl for six months before I kissed the top of her head. No, I wasn't eating girls out until.

[Kevin Ryan]

Lose the cloak. Maybe you get a little headway.

[Rick Glassman]

And by the way, I went D1.

[Kevin Ryan]

There you go.

[H. Foley]

I'm not sure I get it.

[Kevin Ryan]

That doesn't sound like a bad Friday night.

[Rick Glassman]

That's a girl.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a.

[H. Foley]

That was yours. I got you.

[Rick Glassman]

Well, I'm just saying, I was in a D1 school when I first ate a girl out. No, I was in high school and I dated a girl recently who's. Whose birthday was two days before mine.

[Kevin Ryan]

Whoa.

[Rick Glassman]

And it's like. Oh, it's interesting that I'm finding these strong, independent women who share birthdays that are so close to mine.

[H. Foley]

Her birthday was July 21st.

[Rick Glassman]

Probably still is, but. Oh, Route 66.

[H. Foley]

Frank Ola. Frank Ola.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can I say that sounds like a nice Friday night. The guy wouldn't give you guys shit for hanging out in there?

[Rick Glassman]

No, that's the whole idea business. You bring people, it's like that's their happy hour.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now, what kind of creature was he? Somebody looked like me. Some heavyset guy. Like Comic Book Man.

[Rick Glassman]

Like a crawl worm. Put up a picture.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's a great guy.

[Rick Glassman]

Eli. Yeah, he was a great guy. And also my dad worked at the rug store, Shout out to Marshall Rug Gallery.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right.

[Rick Glassman]

And it was like a mile down the road from there. So sometimes I would go to work with my dad, like during the summers, and then I would just go to the card shop and I would Be there. And there was not that many people during the day. People come in, they buy stuff, and they leave. Not that many people are there necessarily.

[Kevin Ryan]

Playing tables in the back.

[Rick Glassman]

Tables in the back. And I would just sit there. I would just be there for hours, like, looking at the comic books and asking questions and looking in the case and all the cards and asking him questions and stuff. And I was there all the time. And I remember there was one time I must have asked him too many questions. And by the way, what I'm about to say, Eli's a great guy. He was just. He was just telling it how it was.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shut the fuck up.

[Rick Glassman]

Listen, kid, he said something to me once about something like, you know, I'm there all the time.

[H. Foley]

We're on Eli as of now in the story, I'm team Eli.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right.

[H. Foley]

All right, guy.

[Rick Glassman]

And he goes. He said something where I was like, hey, man, I'm not your babysitter. I remember.

[H. Foley]

Where are your parents?

[Rick Glassman]

I remember when he said that. I remember when he said that. I got embarrassed. I got embarrassed because it was only then that I realized, oh, no, I'm bothering. I'm here too much. And I got really embarrassed that I was there. And I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought, like, I was just hanging out and asked. I'm so sorry. I was just like. Even now I could remember that feeling. Oh, I'm so sorry.

[H. Foley]

Kiss him on the head and get out of there.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't want to eat your cheese. Get out of here.

[Rick Glassman]

But, you know, I see him. I go. When I go back, I still go in there. And like, I was there not too long ago because, listen, kid, it's just.

[H. Foley]

A job for me, okay?

[Rick Glassman]

Go to. Go to part of my merch. I have these trading cards that are awesome. Go to tysocards.com. i want you to see them. I want to make you guys cards. Okay. I do make them. A previous guests. And then here. Click here.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very nice.

[Rick Glassman]

Aren't those.

[H. Foley]

Oh, those are really cool.

[Rick Glassman]

Shout out to Scott Hepburn, who's a Marvel illustrator.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sam Morrell. Mark Norman. Those are fantastic.

[Rick Glassman]

Those really cool. And we turn them into different, like, character. And the cards, they're hollow foil. They're. They're awesome. Like, as a card collector.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Blake Griffin on here and not us. That's crazy.

[Rick Glassman]

Who do you guys. Who do you. Who do you guys think?

[Kevin Ryan]

What kind of superpowers would I have?

[Rick Glassman]

Well, that's. I'd like to ask people to tell me who.

[Kevin Ryan]

I told you the cheese thing do.

[Rick Glassman]

You have any characters that you resonate with?

[Kevin Ryan]

Do I have any character, like comic book characters that I resonate with?

[Rick Glassman]

Any characters?

[H. Foley]

Got the same tits as Wonder Woman.

[Kevin Ryan]

And the same taste of Men.

[H. Foley]

Huh.

[Kevin Ryan]

Called Dark and Kryptonium.

[Rick Glassman]

So I was nothing on that.

[H. Foley]

You should make him, Eli.

[Kevin Ryan]

Eli would have killed her.

[Rick Glassman]

So I went into his card store recently because I was traveling and I needed some cases and I got a couple of cardboard cases and he just gave them to me. I'm like, no. He's like, no, take the cases. And I was like, you know what? That whole babysitting thing that I've been sitting on for a decade.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, you got a lot of cow.

[Rick Glassman]

I think you're cool with me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, you've been a customer 20 something years.

[Rick Glassman]

Man, did I love going there because I. I didn't really have friends and. Yeah. And you would go. Didn't have kids that I would play with. I wasn't really part of the. Yeah. And I would go to Mr. Carson Comics and it was all these. What I remember looking. I remember thinking, like, these are such weird people. Different, eclectic, weird. I didn't know I was one of them. You know, I'm like, going in and like, these guys that are real nerdy and socially awkward, and some of them smell. I think people that people. Not all of them, but some people that play magic. If you are a magic player, I would just check in, ask somebody, say, hey, you have a safe space. Do I smell? Let me know. And the trick is not cologne and perfume. The trick is cleaning your clothes, making sure they dry properly, and showering. And by the way, I'm not even saying shower every day, but if you sweat or if you shower, sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

Anyway, would adults come in and play with you?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

There was kids to adult files.

[Kevin Ryan]

Whoa.

[Rick Glassman]

And everybody was part of the same thing. There's a similar feeling I had when I first moved to la. I played basketball and I got into some basketball games with some comics. I remember one of the first comics that I remember being, like, cool was Steve Rannazzisi. I never met him before. And I was a fan of the league. I'm like, this is awesome. But when you're playing basketball with these guys, it's like it's about the basketball, not about how much you know. If you're a headliner or an open micr type of thing, of course. And. And that's the analogy I have for going in and playing Friday Night Magic. You could be 17 or you could be 45. You're all losers.

[Kevin Ryan]

And how were you?

[Rick Glassman]

You know? But losers.

[Kevin Ryan]

Some of you smell losers.

[Rick Glassman]

Some of you smell. But loser smell.

[H. Foley]

One of you smells you also looking.

[Rick Glassman]

In the window in there. It really is a cool community. And when I moved out to la, I would play at a card store in Studio City.

[Kevin Ryan]

You did this as an adult?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, and it was sanctioned. Sanctioned tournament play. So, like, you were nationally ranked.

[H. Foley]

That makes it better. I thought this was amate. You're talking sanctions.

[Rick Glassman]

Well, it's not sanctioned like you're a pro. It's a rich Rick.

[H. Foley]

I don't care.

[Rick Glassman]

But. And then. And then after. It was after. That was every Sunday. Every Sunday. And after you, we would go across the street to Panda Express and this might be one of your garbage. Literally. And a Panda Express receipts. At least back in the day, if you fill out the. The survey, you call a number. You fill out the survey, you get a free entree with the purchase of another entree. So I would ask people if I could have the receipt when I would go. And there was. Sometimes I would look at if there was any receipts in the top of the garbage and I would take a receipt from the garbage and I would just do the survey. So I would get an entree with two sides and a free entree. I would play my magic. I would get. I would get Panda Express. Dude, it was I, you know, to be young.

[H. Foley]

Now.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's your move at Panda Express?

[H. Foley]

You've.

[Rick Glassman]

I don't eat it anymore, but I like the. The Beijing beef.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

I would get the Beijing beef. A double order and lo mein.

[H. Foley]

Chumlee loves that.

[Rick Glassman]

I wanted the orange chicken, but I don't eat dark meat.

[H. Foley]

Orange. High school.

[Kevin Ryan]

You don't eat dark. You don't eat dark chicken meat?

[Rick Glassman]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

No. You're not a thigh man?

[Rick Glassman]

No, sir. Huh. I like thighs on a. On a person.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. Sure. Stephanie. Sarah.

[H. Foley]

Sarah.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right.

[Rick Glassman]

I like a little Dark chews in Spanish 5. Sarah.

[Kevin Ryan]

No dark meat on Turkey either. Thanksgiving man likes the titties.

[H. Foley]

Growing up, was there any communal collection of magazines in the bathroom?

[Rick Glassman]

My parents bathroom had.

[Kevin Ryan]

I could see that. They strike me as readers.

[Rick Glassman]

And sometimes I would take a dump in my parents bathroom so I could check out the Victoria.

[H. Foley]

That was like vacation, really.

[Rick Glassman]

My mom had a Victoria's Secret catalog subscription, I think. Or came to the house, maybe my dad did, but. But yeah, I would look at that and I would just.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, those. When those things. Holy shit, it's saved. I mean, that was like Penthouse.

[H. Foley]

That was crazy.

[Rick Glassman]

Kids have too much access to to appreciate. No. But now, no, everything's. These Victoria's Secret models are just these ugly hags, but back then, gorgeous.

[H. Foley]

They're the end all. Be all.

[Rick Glassman]

Yep.

[Kevin Ryan]

Gorgeous. Leo ran through all of them.

[Rick Glassman]

I. I'm gonna brag without name dropping.

[Kevin Ryan]

You dated one?

[Rick Glassman]

No, I didn't date one, but there was. There was. I went out with. What, A couple.

[Kevin Ryan]

You went out with?

[Rick Glassman]

Like, I went out with one a couple of times.

[Kevin Ryan]

Socially? Well, we, like, wasn't at the card store.

[H. Foley]

It was the star. You were trying to see. It was the early days of dating to see if it worked.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I mean, I could see you pulling that, but.

[Rick Glassman]

But you know what? I was gonna tell a story that I'm not gonna tell.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm not gonna tell.

[H. Foley]

Check that out on Patreon.

[Rick Glassman]

Patreon. I got blown by Victoria's Secret model.

[Kevin Ryan]

There you go.

[H. Foley]

That's pretty cool.

[Kevin Ryan]

There you go.

[Rick Glassman]

And I thought to myself, what a wonderful. I thought to myself, because I was always. I was always.

[Kevin Ryan]

If Eli could see me now.

[H. Foley]

Take that, loser.

[Rick Glassman]

I was always very insecure with girls.

[H. Foley]

You're talking to two studs over here.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, good looking kid.

[Rick Glassman]

You know, like, would they really want to go out with me? If they do, are they doing this to, like, make fun about me to their friends behind my back? Like, I didn't trust that they would.

[H. Foley]

It's not a romper.

[Rick Glassman]

Why would they like me? I had some experience.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

But anyway, slobbing your knob.

[H. Foley]

You won. Whether they make fun of you at a dinner party or not, you're getting your D. You're getting your D sucked, man.

[Rick Glassman]

The reason I say this is. It was that moment. It was just some decision I made because I was like, I masturbated to these people, and now one of them is like, you will masturbate to me. And now that moment. There's two moments in my life that I can remember where I became more confident in some type of sexual way. That was one. When that happened, I'm like, oh, maybe girls do like me. Maybe if they say they like me, they mean it. And I got a little bit more confident. And another one was when I was. I didn't get chest hair until college, and then I got chest hair.

[H. Foley]

That was like an awakening for you.

[Rick Glassman]

I didn't think anything of it. I just got some chest hair. And then I was dating a girl in college who went to a different college, and I went to her dorm, and the guys and the girls were on the same floor, separate wing. So I took a Shower down the hall. And then I walked back to her room with a towel around my waist, but not on covering chest hair out. And she goes, get in the room. You have so much chest hair. And it like that me up for years.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, I thought you would have taken confidence in that.

[Rick Glassman]

No. She was like tied. And I'm like, oh, is this. Should I be embarrassed? And I didn't even have a choice. The answer was yes.

[H. Foley]

Dumb broad.

[Kevin Ryan]

Man among boys. Who you tell you run that goddamn door.

[H. Foley]

Slipping out of my seat while you were telling. I was picturing your hog flapping through the desk.

[Rick Glassman]

No, sir.

[H. Foley]

If we're being honest, I was. That's where I was. I thought, all the girls are going to be coming out.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know, talk about magic.

[Rick Glassman]

Trying to be.

[H. Foley]

Trying to be the next Victoria's Secret model.

[Rick Glassman]

So I embarrassed her. I was embarrassed. And for years, I like even swimming. I didn't want to take my shirt off. I was so embarrassed about my chest hair until I saw Hugh Jackman as Wolverine. Which is why in those type cards, I'm Wolverine. Because I saw Hugh Jackman and he had chest hair. And he didn't have the same. Doesn't have the same body I have. But like, I was like, he looks cool. Maybe hair is okay. And like that. I'm like, I'm going to be okay with my shirt off. So Hugh Jackman and Victoria's Secret are the only reason why I'm allowing myself to. To date.

[Kevin Ryan]

I always thought the opposite. I thought chest hair was like, manly. Yeah, yeah. Tom Selleck. I'm from a different era. Tom Selleck, Burt Reynolds, they all had chest hair.

[Rick Glassman]

I think that.

[H. Foley]

I think he's only 28. He doesn't get those.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. I think girl, girls. Girls that grew up in the 90s or were. It's split some like chest hair, something. Because I don't know if you remember, but in the 90s, that's when guys are even were waxing their chest and like shaving their chest hair. And that's when manscaping started. And then I think chest hair is kind of coming back.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't have any.

[H. Foley]

It's wild.

[Rick Glassman]

You have none.

[H. Foley]

It's like. It's like. It's like a skin won't grow it.

[Rick Glassman]

Huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

Nothing smooth.

[Rick Glassman]

I still feel I'm okay with it, but I still feel insecure when I take my shirt off because of my chest.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's good stuff. And to answer your question, I do.

[H. Foley]

We haven't seen it. What if it's insane?

[Rick Glassman]

I trim it and we're like.

[H. Foley]

We're like, nah, dude, it's totally cool. It takes it off and we're like, what the fuck?

[Rick Glassman]

I trim it to a point to where. Where I don't want it to look trimmed.

[H. Foley]

Sure, I like the trim. I remember seeing my. My cousin while he trimmed. I was young on the beach and he had. I was like that. You look cool.

[Rick Glassman]

That's what I'm saying. People, you really. But. But then like when you have as much as I do because I. I'm a hairy guy. Then like, it's like you. If you go too short, it just looks like military cut. It just looks like it just. You got either get rid of it or keep it.

[Kevin Ryan]

You gotta high and tight your neck.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. And I would do. You do tighter on the nips, a little longer on the chest, a little shorter thing. I remember I was experiment all the time and I tightened my abs to see where the lines would be. And I did like a tic tac toe board on my thing. And then it was just. It just looked like I. You know, like, it'll grow back.

[H. Foley]

Huh.

[Kevin Ryan]

I identify for a card. I would identify Wolverine, but not the Hugh Jackman version. You know, a lot of times they drew him differently. You know, originally he was kind of a short, stocky guy. So I would identify with Wolverine.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, you kind of like how they drew Homer in like. In like 89.

[H. Foley]

That ass voice. It's like, buddy, you. I don't know you are, but you ain't Homer.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right. Or the Silver Surfer.

[Rick Glassman]

What about the Silver Surfer?

[Kevin Ryan]

I would identify with him because he's hairless, smooth.

[Rick Glassman]

Is that why you said it?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I just like him. I also liked what's his name? Who am I thinking of? That would be Alvin, who is Morpheus, who played Morpheus? Drawn a blank on his name. I don't know why.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, with the I. Yeah, you know, Morpheus.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's famous.

[H. Foley]

Laurence Fishburne. Larry Talking Larry.

[Kevin Ryan]

Lawrence Fishburne did the voice in the Silver Surfer when they did it with Mandy Moore. Whoever it was, I liked his voice. I like the Silver Surfer or the Beyonder.

[Rick Glassman]

Who do you like better as a singer, Mandy Moore or Mandy Patankin?

[Kevin Ryan]

Mandy Patankin. He's pretty old school. I like that Mandy more, though. I'll tell you, the most talented one is the one from Wicked.

[H. Foley]

The lady from Wicked, Ariana Grande.

[Kevin Ryan]

Man, she. Both of those ladies are unbelievable.

[H. Foley]

Whoever has a crush on at the moment.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude, she does voices.

[H. Foley]

Oh, coming in with some new pop star.

[Kevin Ryan]

She Might be the most talented person on the planet.

[Rick Glassman]

And there's a debate closed.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'll put Jamie Foxx in there.

[H. Foley]

Very talented.

[Rick Glassman]

You know, bringing up Mandy Moore is making me think of Aquaman from Entourage.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was Jessica album.

[Rick Glassman]

One sec. And then also an Entourage. And this also is making me think of. It's kind of like how when. When Ari started his new agency, Vince and the guys had to walk up so many flights of stairs to get there. And I was thinking about Entourage on my way up here.

[Kevin Ryan]

Pretty good.

[Rick Glassman]

Six flights to get up here.

[Kevin Ryan]

Six flights. Hey. Giving our location away. Got the ops looking for us.

[H. Foley]

Got the ops going great.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think we got the guard dog here.

[H. Foley]

All right. I mean, Alvin, I think I got one or a couple more here we can just run through real quick. You open your eyes underwater in a pool.

[Rick Glassman]

I want to. I've tried it. That's not for me.

[H. Foley]

That's like. He treated it like it's sushi. Listen, I give it a shot every time I get. Not that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you do sushi?

[Rick Glassman]

I want to. I've tried it. My body responds well to it. It's not for me.

[H. Foley]

Okay, go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Will you dance at a wedding?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, I'll dance anywhere.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can you move? You any good?

[Rick Glassman]

I'm a good dancer.

[Kevin Ryan]

Fast dance like you got, you know, dirty dancing.

[Rick Glassman]

How many beats per minute are we talking?

[H. Foley]

What are you fucking detecting?

[Kevin Ryan]

Anybody could slow dance. Do you have some moves out there?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can you walking it up a little bit, buddy.

[Rick Glassman]

I got chest hair. I got blown by Victoria's Secret bottle. You think I can't dance?

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you think?

[H. Foley]

And he knows Hugh Jackman.

[Rick Glassman]

I don't know. Huh?

[H. Foley]

With it. I'm trying to get you laid. Have you ever made poached eggs at the house?

[Rick Glassman]

I don't really like eggs. When I make them, I make them hard boiled and I throw away the yolk. And you know what I do every time I do it? I go, these are good. Yolks aside, it's pretty good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Funny guy.

[H. Foley]

Do you have any half used gift cards currently?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, but I have them all in a pile somewhere that I'm not going to use.

[H. Foley]

Okay. And so nothing where you're like, I got to get to this. No. Like best buy for 100 bucks that you're like waiting on a purchase?

[Rick Glassman]

No, no. There's like, I did a show and somebody gave me like a Van Leeuwen free ice cream cone. And I give it to somebody who comes over now, Van Leeuwen.

[Kevin Ryan]

I like that. Do you have any Baking soda in your fridge or freezer?

[Rick Glassman]

Currently in my fridge. And it's been there for too long. It needs to be replaced.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. You know, they have the suction cup ones now. You can put it on there.

[Rick Glassman]

I have proper baking soda because I'll take it. Sometimes I have heartburn, so I put it in a nice little ramekin, my sauce ramekin.

[Kevin Ryan]

I tell everyone if you get heartburn, half a teaspoon of baking soda and water, it's gone instantly.

[Rick Glassman]

I also would like to do a plug for IB Guard, please. This pill, that's peppermint oil and it's friggin magic.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay?

[Rick Glassman]

Magic. It works, Harper. And take it within minutes. Magic. I like it so much I want to invest in the company.

[Kevin Ryan]

I stick with NEX for that reason. I like the hard stuff.

[H. Foley]

Huh. All right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can you whistle, Rick?

[H. Foley]

That was done in post for the audio listener.

[Kevin Ryan]

I should have said with your fingers.

[H. Foley]

If you get mail for the wrong person, what do you do?

[Rick Glassman]

If it's in my. Because I have a place where, like.

[H. Foley]

If it's in your building.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. I go and I put it by their door.

[H. Foley]

Okay. If it's not in your building, if it's, you know, your. Your 1, 2, 3 Main street, it comes in for 100 Main street or 1, 2, 3.

[Rick Glassman]

I only think it's happened once where it wasn't like I could just walk out and drop it there. And it was someone across the street and I think it was still just across the street.

[Kevin Ryan]

Are you looking? Will you open it? I think is the question. No peeking. Do you know your neighbors?

[Rick Glassman]

Some of them, yeah. Yeah, I got some phone numbers.

[H. Foley]

Sure. They dive in the bushes.

[Rick Glassman]

Whoa, you say they dive in the bushes? Why do I have that reputation? Why do you think that? I don't think you would say that to anybody.

[H. Foley]

No, that's a generic joke. I.

[Rick Glassman]

You think you really for sure that.

[H. Foley]

Your parents, that your name, that your neighbors don't like you?

[Rick Glassman]

Because I'm sure you like it. I resonate with it. Like I'm thinking, like, I mean, maybe this isn't like.

[H. Foley]

I don't want the whole chest hair incident again. That's not what I have.

[Rick Glassman]

No, no, no, it's okay.

[H. Foley]

I don't want you afraid to look at your neighbor.

[Rick Glassman]

I wasn't sure also because I know you. You like Homer so much and he's a big, you know, hiding in the bushes kind of guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you have a grill lighter at the house?

[Rick Glassman]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. Do you have a grill?

[Rick Glassman]

No.

[H. Foley]

Whoa. What are you Doing fireworks.

[Rick Glassman]

Same with my pepper shaker. Sometimes I just want to light it and season it from fireworks.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nice for candles. What about binoculars? You got binoculars at the house?

[Rick Glassman]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

All right. You have a wooden toilet seat or binoculars. Okay.

[H. Foley]

Have you ever owned cargo sweatpants?

[Rick Glassman]

No, but I love cargo shorts and pants. When I was younger, but I had cargo pants that unzipped into shorts.

[H. Foley]

Yikes.

[Rick Glassman]

Play basketball in.

[H. Foley]

You played basketball in them even when.

[Rick Glassman]

You'Re first starting out.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's how Woody Harrelson did it. And white man can't jump. He kicked ass.

[Rick Glassman]

Look at him now.

[H. Foley]

Look at him.

[Rick Glassman]

They're making a champions, too.

[H. Foley]

They didn't have zip offs back then. He was in cut offs.

[Kevin Ryan]

He wore cargo shorts.

[H. Foley]

That's different though. Huh? When was the last time you were on a boat?

[Rick Glassman]

What? I don't know.

[H. Foley]

You can't even pull it.

[Rick Glassman]

I mean, I was on a ferry with my. My car coming back from Newport Beach.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wow. That's.

[H. Foley]

That counts, I guess.

[Rick Glassman]

July 4, 2023.

[Kevin Ryan]

What is the car these days? Can we ask you? What are you whipping around town in? What are you whipping around town in la?

[H. Foley]

Can I guess?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Tesla. That's a pretty good guess or something sensible.

[H. Foley]

RAV4 Prius.

[Rick Glassman]

No, it is a hybrid electric Audi Q5.

[Kevin Ryan]

Whoa.

[Rick Glassman]

I got the hybrid electric, not specifically for the electric, which has been great. I don't have to fill up that much, but more so. So I could up drive in the HOV lane.

[H. Foley]

Is it white?

[Rick Glassman]

Black.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nice.

[Rick Glassman]

Keep it clean normally. But after the fires, I've been. And of course I haven't. And I was gonna get it washed, but I'm like, Then I'm coming to New York and Boston and Philadelphia.

[Kevin Ryan]

Let it sit for a little bit.

[H. Foley]

It's good. I mean, I. Listen, we tried. We threw the book at him again a second time.

[Kevin Ryan]

Kids.

[H. Foley]

All fucking class.

[Kevin Ryan]

Bulletproof, 100% class, my friend. You and your little friend there, your little bunny, which the dog makes you a little classier, to be honest with you. Yeah. And you're also kind of now a comic that you bring the dog everywhere, which I think you've earned and deserve.

[H. Foley]

I'm on the fence.

[Kevin Ryan]

And he's small. He's small enough of a doggie when I'm.

[Rick Glassman]

When I'm like. When I'm in New York, like, I'm here and then I'm going to do another podcast and blah, blah, blah, and I'm gone all day. So if I'm gonna be gone all day, I'm gonna take the dog. With me, take the dog and then if I have a show, I don't, I'll take the dog with me. But I'm not like leaving my house and bringing the dog to the shows all the time. You know what I mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

Gotcha. We doing spots in LA or something like that?

[Rick Glassman]

A couple of times I brought a dog. One was intentional when Jordan Jensen was in town. I wanted shout out Jordan and she had had coyote and I wanted them to meet and they just chill in the green. But he really. I do bring him on the road. He's a good hang and I. I do bring him to shows, but I leave him in the green room. Yeah, no, I love having a man when traveling.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's a good dude, man.

[H. Foley]

I get it. Someone to roll with.

[Kevin Ryan]

Good wingman. Rick Glassman, ladies and gentlemen. Brought to the ringer twice. Coming out on top. 100% classy.

[Rick Glassman]

Beat Bobby Flay. You. He wins around 70% of the time.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's tough to beat, man. The guy's good.

[Rick Glassman]

He's an iron shot chef. Like Ching lung. How many? How many what? Do you think the percentage of people are coming in classy? Here are.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's very few. There's very few. Very few.

[H. Foley]

Very few. Good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Your forementioned, Ms. Jensen. Yikes.

[H. Foley]

I think Segor Satom Sigor. Class. Both times we tried. Yeah, that's about. Jensen was Francis Ellis, Chaz Chaz Palm.

[Kevin Ryan]

Terry Jensen was the king of trash until we ran into Christina P. Down in Austin.

[H. Foley]

Christina Pijitsky.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're all class, buddy.

[H. Foley]

All class. We love you, buddy. Thanks for coming by.

[Rick Glassman]

Thanks for having me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Anything you got coming up.

[Rick Glassman]

You want folks to know I'm on tour. The Ricky's on the Loose Tour. Punch up DOT live. Ray Glassman. I don't know when this comes out, but tickets are up there. And adding new cities back into the year. Head on over.

[Kevin Ryan]

If you don't know, check out the podcast. He's one of the funniest, most unique comedians and actors working and we absolutely love them. Right?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right.

[H. Foley]

Alvin, are you looking at Simon and Theodore?

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you got for him, Kip?

[H. Foley]

Guys, we're on the road as well. The Back on the Block tour tickets are going quick. Second shows are being added. We can't add second shows in all the cities. So get them. Don't snooze because you're gonna lose. And we love you.

[Kevin Ryan]

And check out the Route 66 tour, gang. We love you and we'll see you next week. Peace.