Running Up the Tab! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Summary

Podcast Summary: Are You Garbage? – "Running Up the Tab! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley"

Release Date: February 19, 2026
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

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Overview

In this lively, banter-filled "family episode," hosts H. Foley and Kevin Ryan return to their roots: just the two best friends riffing on what it means to be "garbage." Without a guest, they dive into the everyday, blue-collar details that define true “garbage” status—covering such topics as keeping Christmas lights up year-round, handy household work (or lack thereof), bad cleaning habits, running up tabs at bars, curbside pickups, and more. The episode blends hilarious confessions, Philly-centric references, and a string of listener “garbage” questions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Scene: Classic Garbage, Classic Banter

• Kevin and Foley begin with mutual roastings about kitchen skills and lack of preparedness.
• They oscillate between lighthearted jabs and confessions about their own "trashiness."
• Quote [01:02]:
  • Kevin to Foley: “Why don’t you try watching an elliptical, will you?”

2. Group Chats, Deadlines & Friendship Gripes

• Foley teases Kevin for being absent in work group chats, accusing him of having a secret second job. Kevin retorts about enforcing "business hours.”
• Foley confesses to missing deadlines due to a stomach bug, Kevin accuses him of disappearing for days.

3. Homeownership Woes: Christmas Lights & Curb Appeal

• Main confession: Kevin admits he's still running his Christmas lights well into February because he lacks curb appeal and outdoor lighting ([08:06]).
  • “Middle of February... kitschy outside Christmas lights still on the house and still on a timer that turn on every night.”
• Foley and Kevin debate the acceptability of leaving up lights if they’re white, draw parallels to local establishments leaving lights year-round, and compare curb appeal tactics from their Philly upbringing.

4. Household Nostalgia: Childhood Homes, Moving, and Parental Habits

• Discussion of Kevin’s mom moving from the family house after 30+ years ([07:32]).
• Arguments about who keeps a cleaner, classier home, with Foley poking at Kevin’s exterior and Kevin returning fire regarding mice at Foley's mom's place.

5. Handyman (Or Not) Realities

• Both admit to being less-than-handy. Kevin references having Christmas lights perpetually up, and Foley confesses to hiring (and then losing track of) cheap labor for things like mice removal ([13:41]).
• Anecdotes about blue-collar family life: parents and siblings installing makeshift kitchen sinks, missing outlet covers, etc.

6. Bar Tab & Party Etiquette

• Listener “garbage” question: Is it trashy to run up a drunken friend’s open bar tab after they leave?
  • Both agree it's fair game among friends ([48:33]):
    • “If you have that relationship with them… 100%.”
  • Kevin shares a story about saving a buddy from jail and taking some cab fare from his wallet as “interest” ([49:48]).
  • Discussion about changing tab etiquette: opening/closing tabs is now much more common than back in their cash-centric college days.

7. Curbside Pickups & Societal Decline

• The hosts lament the shift toward curbside grocery and restaurant pickups ([54:07]):
  • Foley gripes, “You don’t get to eat a fucking steak and potatoes in your car... put on a pair of pants, a pair of shoes, and you go in...," expressing nostalgia for a world where you had to "earn" a decent meal.
  • They question whether and how much to tip the curbside workers, agreeing that able-bodied folks could just go in themselves.

8. Do-It-Yourself Solutions & Trashy Hacks

• The ultimate in “garbage” home hacks:
  • Using random household items (butter knives, scissors, bobby pins) as screwdrivers or to pick locks ([26:22]).
  • Scotchgard debate: unclear on what it is, but recalling failed attempts to keep sneakers clean with sprays.
  • Love for classic, heavy-duty cleaning products like SOS pads, Windex, and Pledge—“We were pro-chemicals and pro-plastic in the '90s…” ([32:26]).

9. Laundry, Cleaning, and Stain Rituals

• Foley’s “true classics” T-shirts: cycles through dozens due to constant staining, reveals "trashy" washing habits ([34:01]).
• "It's not the stain itself… once that shit dries, sets in the fibers, and you're fucked." – Foley ([34:49])

10. Household Leftovers, Freezing, and Air Fryer Innovations

• Foley details his garbage-y method of cooking frozen Shepherd’s Pie in an air fryer with a bowl, hoping it works—“Blew my brains off. Didn’t know you could do that. Great.” ([58:00])
• Discussion of rolling the dice with expiry dates and food safety ([56:28]).

11. White Reebok “Kensington Cruisers”

• Anecdote about getting roasted for showing up in new white Reeboks, only to have them labeled as “Kensington Cruisers”—the de facto shoe for Philly's roughest neighborhood ([38:23]).

12. Classic Listener Questions & Trashy Confessions

• Bringing your own sheets to hotels (“travel sheets”) to avoid cheap sheets—hosts are surprisingly supportive of this move, calling it cozy and a sign of some class ([62:47]).
• Washing one dish out of a pile just for instant use: trashy but common.
• Sitting in the back of a two-door car – both hosts admit this is now a rare, even terrifying, occurrence as plus-size adults ([43:48]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Old school renegade. But we could be bought. Somebody make an offer. Somebody open up the fucking check." – Kevin ([02:15])
• "It's a nice home on the inside, with love and family." – Foley defending his home's lack of curb appeal ([08:32])
• "I gotta be honest with you, because the rest—I don't have a lot of outside light to begin with. I need a little bit of what they call in the business 'curb appeal.' Because at night it looks like a crack house." – Kevin ([08:20])
• "That guy's fucking down in margaritas, stepping on pipe pops, whatever it's called." – Foley on the missing Christmas lights installer ([61:55])
• "You don't get to eat a fucking steak and potatoes in your car. That's a job, right there. Put on a pair of pants, shoes…" – Foley railing against curbside pickup ([55:20])
• "Yeah, now get out of here. Then I haven't heard from this guy—so I might just—Wonka lives there." – Kevin, about letting things slide at home ([13:09])
• "It's not the stain itself… once that shit dries, sets in the fibers, and you're fucked." – Foley ([34:49])
• "If you have that relationship with them... 100%." – On running up a friend's open tab ([48:39])
• "You could be making bombs or cooking meth or something." – Foley, on what his house looks like from the outside ([08:45])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00–03:30: Comedy intros, banter, group chat complaints
• 04:00–06:30: Deadlines, friendship, absenteeism in work chats
• 06:33–09:30: Holiday lights up months after Christmas, curb appeal woes
• 10:04–14:41: Homeownership, mice, and making fun of each other’s houses
• 18:06–19:00: Story of losing contractor, failed house repairs
• 26:22–28:00: "Garbage" home tool improvisation (scissors as screwdrivers, etc.)
• 34:01–35:13: Foley’s T-shirt laundry confession and stain stories
• 38:23–39:08: “Kensington Cruisers” and Philly shoe culture
• 43:48–47:33: Fear of riding in/crawling out of two-door cars
• 48:33–51:32: Running up tabs on drunk friend's credit card
• 54:07–56:28: Curbside pickup and decline of “dining society”
• 57:00–59:33: Air fryer hacks with frozen Shepherd’s Pie
• 62:47–64:13: Travel sheets at hotels—a surprisingly classy move

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Tone & Style

True to the “Are You Garbage?” brand, the episode is filled with rapid-fire, Philadelphia-style ribbing, self-deprecating anecdotes, and a constant thread of nostalgia for blue-collar, working-class life. Both hosts are brutally honest (and often surprisingly practical) about trashy habits—turning them into both badges of honor and punchlines.

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Conclusion

The episode captures what fans love about “Are You Garbage?”—authentic “trash” stories, a raucous look at working-class life, and the comfort that comes from knowing you’re not alone in your bad habits. Whether discussing the ethics of running up a friend’s open bar tab, or justifying why their Christmas lights are still up, Foley and Kevin continually prove: we’re all just a little bit garbage.

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Recommended for: Anyone who grew up working class, loves self-mocking comedy, or has ever used a butter knife as a screwdriver.

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Transcript

[A]

Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Ru Garbage. Oh yeah, it's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedian and we find. Not today. Fucking Michelin star dickhead over here. We find out if they grew up to be happy.

[B]

Not yet.

[A]

If they grew up to be classy. If they're just a big old piece of trash like my co host, Real garbage man. I'm your host, Sage Foley. Coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tony's in new edition.

[B]

She.

[A]

Is up to something. I don't know what it is.

[B]

If I was prepared, I would know the joke.

[A]

She's got a lot going on.

[B]

Yeah, so do you. Apparently she does.

[A]

She's working in a kitchen now.

[B]

Uh huh.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. What's with all the kitchen content? Michelin star. She's in.

[A]

I've been watching that. Marco Pierre White making him sardine sandwiches.

[B]

Huh? Butter.

[A]

Life without butter.

[B]

Why don't you try watching an elliptical, will you?

[A]

My coast is coming at you from across the table. I'm ignoring that. He is the CEO of Are you garbage? He is an international businessman and unfortunately my best friend in the whole wide world. Give it up for kj Kevin. James Ryan, everyone.

[B]

What up, gang? Shout out to you as always. Stop cutting me off. Kiss ass.

[A]

They're all kiss asses over here, by the way. Everybody, all of them. They'll suck up on Kippy's teats.

[B]

Hairy nipples.

[A]

Which I don't get.

[B]

But some people. Stop telling us your fantasies creep up. I'll try to do a comedy show. These guys. Let me get the plugs out of the way. Shout out. Let me thank God. Tickets to Move too far. Let me thank the goddamn people for tuning in.

[A]

Shout out to.

[B]

No, stop it. Shout out to you for tuning in. I love you as always. Please make sure you rate review. Subscribe on itunes, please. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. And I gotta tell you, those numbers are cooking, baby.

[A]

Yeah, they're pretty good this week.

[B]

They're doing great. I like that you say that. And people. People start tracking it and think that there's problems.

[A]

I call balls and strikes. Some days we're down. We're killing it right now.

[B]

It all depends on what day you release. It's all political. These people are bought and paid for. Not us, baby. Old school renegade.

[A]

But we could be bought.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Somebody make an offer.

[B]

Somebody open up the fucking check.

[A]

Yeah. We're not the guys you kill. We're the guys you pay off. Michael Clayton, Bobby Slade.

[B]

Pitbull, the Pit Bulls, the comedy. And obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com Are you garbage? You go over there, you get all that bonus content, gang. And them numbers are knocking on the door. 16,000 strong, baby.

[A]

That's right. Garbage.

[B]

Have a good month. I'm feeling it.

[A]

Going to be down there in Austin. You're going to be down there in Tampa.

[B]

Yeah, listen, Tampa's. I mean there might be like 30, 40 tickets total left for Tampa. So get. Because we're going to be doing a little filming down there. So get them tickets then. Austin's moving. Too little of, huh?

[A]

Only fan.

[B]

Yeah, no, I got you. What are you doing? Huh? What are you doing? Putting fucking action figures in your belly button? What are you going to do?

[A]

Is there a market for that?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Is there a market for that?

[B]

Assume you're good at it.

[A]

I did that in the bathtub when I was younger.

[B]

Make your GI Joe guys go splunking or spladunkin.

[A]

Anywho, It's a family episode, Kevin.

[B]

Okay, we're pivoting quick.

[A]

Yeah, with your sultry conversation. Disgusting.

[B]

Sure, you're the one who brought up my nipples early on.

[A]

No, I was saying everybody sucks on your teats. They all kiss up to you. This whole office bunch of kiss asses. I'm the fucking renegade. Give a shit what this guy says.

[B]

You know what's nuts is party.

[A]

You thinks that I've been missing deadlines left and right around here.

[B]

Party, taking the heat and keep it moving. Yeah.

[A]

Everybody else, man. I say something in that group chat. It's like a ghost town. You chime in with the worst crap ever. Some meme, you disappeari Guy Fieri.

[B]

No, your thing is you disappear.

[A]

I don't disappear. I had a stomach bug all day.

[B]

All day, all weekend. At one point I had to accuse you of having another job. That's how. That's how. That's how absent you've been. I remember yelling at you. Do you have another job I don't know about? Is your goal. You just got. It's like I. You know, you're like the FedEx delivery guy. If we don't get you, you ain't coming back.

[A]

Two to five I'll be around.

[B]

You leave a slip that says you up. Shout out the Great Sebastian. Yes, Sebastian Maniscalco. Hit him up. Tell him to do the show.

[A]

Call me. No, you call me.

[B]

Okay, I will.

[A]

It's a family episode, gang. Just the boys, the bozos and the homies.

[B]

I thought you said you had something to start off.

[A]

Just the way lying. Just the way we like it.

[B]

Big man. Shooting from the hip. In the. In the kitchen.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

You don't have anything.

[A]

I was sick. I just. You know.

[B]

And you don't like when I.

[A]

You don't like when I talk about that stuff.

[B]

I got something. Nobody. I got something.

[A]

I was ill.

[B]

Okay, Easy.

[A]

Neurovirus. Something bad.

[B]

They can use their wildest imaginations. Listen.

[A]

What?

[B]

Stop.

[A]

It's like an action park lawsuit.

[B]

Yikes. Multiple people named.

[A]

A lot of skin, knees.

[B]

I. I got a little bit of a confession to make. Not proud of this. Yes. Not proud. Yes. Very not proud.

[A]

You stinking. I'm awesome. Finally. I'm glad you came around.

[B]

No, I'm going to run the group chat. Yeah, well, if you were. Like I said, if you're in there for more than once a fucking. You know.

[A]

Listen. I am in there.

[B]

No, you're not.

[A]

Yes, I am. You decide business hours. All of a sudden you text our business hours. Everybody gets nervous.

[B]

No, they're business hours. They're working business hours.

[A]

And I get back to you and my dory.

[B]

My office hours. Which are every third Thursday.

[A]

The pizza place only gives me a 15 minute break.

[B]

They say no phones behind the counter.

[A]

Yeah. What can I do?

[B]

It's the middle of February. Right now?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

What? You missed the summer. It's too cold.

[B]

What?

[A]

The snow's getting to you?

[B]

No. Why would that be embarrassing?

[A]

Soft. They shut the heat off.

[B]

No.

[A]

You gambled the money away.

[B]

My water. My water bill's nuts. Really? Again?

[A]

No kidding. Couple hundred bucks in the foot in the fall. In the winter, my electric bill is nothing. We don't even have to use our heat because we're up high. Summer.

[B]

That is all that. Bluffer.

[A]

I gotta eat a lot of salmon.

[B]

You're inside a tree in the living room.

[A]

I just found out. You know those bears, they don't eat the whole salmon. They just eat the skin.

[B]

That don't sound right. I'm not saying you're wrong.

[A]

When they get ready for the winter, because the skin has the most fat in it. So they just rip this.

[B]

They.

[A]

They just rip the skin off and throw it out. That's good salmon. Split that. Me and my mom could split that as a. You got another meal, Which I know I'm getting older because that's starting to become a thing. How many meals I can get out of one meal. That's two meals.

[B]

I Wrap it up. Denise loves rapping. I handed. We did take out this weekend. Denise moved out of our. My childhood home that we were in for 30. Whatever years.

[A]

I. Yeah, did you do a sentimental walkthrough?

[B]

We're not done. I mean, they didn't kick her out. It's not like the only day we're waiting at the fucking driveway with their shit. There's a couple of. They gotta settle first. What the fuck?

[A]

Fucking squatter.

[B]

Oh. Back to my admission of guilt.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Middle of February. This is bad. I let it ride through January. Kitschy outside Christmas lights still on the house and still on a timer. That turn on every night.

[A]

Are they white lights?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right.

[B]

I gotta be honest with you, because the rest of the. I don't have a lot of outside light to begin with. I need a little bit of what they call in the business curb appeal. Because at night it looks like a crack house.

[A]

Yeah, you do need a little curb appeal, man. You don't know what's going on in there. It's a nice home on the inside with love and family.

[B]

I don't like the fact that you've been stewing on this about my house.

[A]

It's a little from the outside.

[B]

It's just at night.

[A]

You could be making bombs or cooking meth or something.

[B]

Well, so I had the. A lot. I had a leak. The leak ruined the switch. There was like, a dial timer for the front lights that got ruined.

[A]

Ruined it. Ruined.

[B]

Now that don't work, so I got to get that fit. Whatever. So the Christmas lights are still on. A pineapple? No, I paid a guy who just go. He's gone. I ain't ever heard. He might have died.

[A]

He's down in the Keys.

[B]

He might have died because those guys, I don't think are, like, living the best life.

[A]

He's bartending down in Fort Lauderdale. You gotta catch him next season when he comes back out.

[B]

Just leave him up at this point.

[A]

He runs out, I don't think you'll.

[B]

Be able to see. You don't. You can't see them during the day. I can just let them run till next year, right?

[A]

I don't know, man. White lights, you know, it looks good. I gotta get around the house.

[B]

Yeah, it's like, rich, trimmed, but it's not on the trees.

[A]

What are you, boathouse row? I don't know if you can get away with that.

[B]

It does. It's very boathouse rowy. Trim, clean, crisp, precision line, whatever. It's still up. And now I'm real self Conscious about it. I look, it looks through January. I give you the snowstorm. Whatever.

[A]

I mean, does anybody else in the neighborhood.

[B]

No, it's bad. It's bad. We're jammed up over there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Jam.

[A]

It is not. Listen, I've said this a couple of times.

[B]

Not here, but on another program I.

[A]

Do some people I know in a.

[B]

Group chat.

[A]

You know, I would leave the Christmas lights up.

[B]

Listen, it's class. Everywhere. It's classy. It looks nice. It's just. I.

[A]

You know the William Penn Inn?

[B]

No.

[A]

You don't know the William Penn Inn?

[B]

No. All right, wait. The Billy Pen.

[A]

So the William Pen in on Skip back pike or 202, you say?

[B]

That's so trash. Get back pike. 202. Dude, every dirt bag from out where you're from always says that. Lime kiln Pike.

[A]

There's so many pikes out there over on Trooper Road.

[B]

Trooper rage.

[A]

They got a Wawa out there that'll fucking blow your eyebrows.

[B]

That and what's out? East Norton Norton.

[A]

East Norton? Yeah.

[B]

You live up there? East Norton. Okay. Why don't you brush your tooth? I don't know anything about it. I used to work these home shows.

[A]

And East Norton's nice. That's where Corpor is. Shout out to him over there in East Norton, which I told you you could buy that whole shopping center.

[B]

I could buy it?

[A]

Yeah. It's 4 million bucks.

[B]

First of all, I can't buy that.

[A]

That's what mom told me. The whole. They're selling the whole.

[B]

Your mom told you occupied the shopping center?

[A]

No. Well, she recommended you. She. She said that they're selling the whole shopping center. That. That it's in.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You got a wine store, Chinese place. Why a beer distributor. And you got Corporately.

[B]

This sounds like you got in over your head in a conversation at a dinner party. And now we're on the hook for a fucking strip mall.

[A]

And he's Norton telling you.

[B]

All right, go get the money.

[A]

What?

[B]

I don't have that.

[A]

What do you think I'm doing?

[B]

I'm bringing it to your table publicly.

[A]

Well, find your feet of me on.

[B]

A couple of egg rolls. Have one of those black cards. Chinese joint.

[A]

What was I saying? The William Penn Inn has trees in their parking lot.

[B]

Nuisance.

[A]

They have trees in their parking lot.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

What's this have to do with anything they have.

[A]

They have lights in the trees all year long.

[B]

An establishment I think is a little different. Yeah, that sets the mood.

[A]

I'd like the mood.

[B]

I. Listen, I'm mine. Are still up.

[A]

I like Christmas lights. In college, in the dorms. Nice.

[B]

Two years you spent there, six more you spent hanging out. What's up? Remember me?

[A]

We're closing deals. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah. The cafeteria.

[A]

So I don't know.

[B]

Let me get a swipe.

[A]

I'd have to get eyes on it.

[B]

What?

[A]

You know, I mean, if you did a little something with the yard and spruced it up a little bit, got that hunk of out of the driveway, maybe it would blend in a little bit. You know, your colored lights, you'd be.

[B]

Yeah. Now get out of here. I don't. Then. Then I haven't heard from this guy.

[A]

So I might just. Wonka lives there.

[B]

Windows are all spiraling and. Yeah, I'm jammed up. I gotta put a little TLC into the house.

[A]

You do not.

[B]

Not the parts that you're judging.

[A]

I don't like going to Patty's. Place looks immaculate.

[B]

That place stinks. Hey, that house stinks. That's crazy. That's crazy. You think my house stinks, and that house doesn't stink.

[A]

That's why it keeps it sharp.

[B]

That's wild.

[A]

Keeps you sharp.

[B]

Crazy.

[A]

Her fucking Christmas lights ain't up. Matter of fact, it ever went up.

[B]

Problem solved. Case closed.

[A]

Quiet Christmas this year.

[B]

Circle in the wagon.

[A]

I got to get her out of there.

[B]

Huh? What are you going to do?

[A]

I'm thinking about taking over that mortgage. Muscling her out.

[B]

What do you mean, take over the mortgage?

[A]

Start paying the mortgage. Take over the house like on.

[B]

Like, so he'd sign the deed over to you. This is a reverse mortgage. This is something. Sam Walterson or something's in on this.

[A]

And then immediately refinance.

[B]

Ref. Yeah, right. That thing is. That thing's a cash cow, dude. That is on a razor thin margin at the moment.

[A]

13% interest rate.

[B]

You can turn it. You turn. Get in. Turn into a flop house, Put a bunch of fake walls up, Move in.

[A]

A bunch of factory workers, start making some money. That dump.

[B]

Uhhuh.

[A]

Now, she keeps it tight. She keeps the yard good. She keeps the place good.

[B]

My place is good. I just. The Christmas lights are.

[A]

Can't tell if anybody lives there or not.

[B]

Yeah, there can.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What? What? What are you casing a joint? The. Your problem.

[A]

I've been there.

[B]

I know you've been there. You and you. And you run your mouth every time you get out and say something, so.

[A]

No, I say nice things when I'm. When I. When I'm in there. Nah, I say how nice it is. How beautiful it is. A beautiful mother in law. Nice stuff. Nice dog. Beautiful family. Nice kid. Good kid. A little guy.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Well, shit, I save it.

[B]

I might buy Patty's house. Really knock it down. That's what I. Fucking knock it down. That's what I would do. That thing's a tear down to begin with. Got bad bone. That thing's got bad juju in it.

[A]

She's got mice.

[B]

She do.

[A]

She got bad mice.

[B]

Yikes.

[A]

Can't get them out. Guy was supposed to seal the crawl space.

[B]

Sounds like there's one coming up your esophagus right now. Coming out for a little bit of cheese.

[A]

Supposed to seal the. Seal the crawl space. I might have to take that to the street. My cousin was telling me that I should be using my public Persona to flex on him a little bit.

[B]

Saying what?

[A]

You know, get this straightened out or I go to the army of garbage.

[B]

That's gonna. What I'm asking, what are the consequences? What do you. What do you.

[A]

Fuck him up?

[B]

Show up to his house, put mice.

[A]

In his bed, see how he likes it? Make Patty live there for a couple.

[B]

Have her breath.

[A]

He'll be begging me to take it.

[B]

Have her break his balls.

[A]

I don't know. But you know, we do have a platform here, so.

[B]

You're going to trash a small business. A guy who's behind the fucking eight ball doesn't want to do work for your fucking. Your fucking ball breaking mother.

[A]

I used to do that all the time. Don Pollock used to do that shit all the time on the news.

[B]

Shout out Don Pop. What? I mean, it's not his skin. Did you pay him? Huh? He's probably owed from last year.

[A]

Job ain't done.

[B]

Pay him. Bounce the check. That's why. That's why you can't get a hold of.

[A]

You gotta call him from a private number. Catch, catch. Catch him.

[B]

Catch him at the Wawa on Trooper Road. Yo, yo, jerk off. I see you there.

[A]

Taking out of his truck.

[B]

I tell you, my sister did that. Go ahead. There was an issue with. I don't get into specifics, but there was some hard. You know. So they were redoing the deck or something, the patio or something. Hired a guy. Wasn't great thing happened, right? He pulled up and tried like she fired him or whatever. It was bad.

[A]

Those things get ugly.

[B]

So she was just like, get your. You know, get out of here. You're not coming back or something. And she's like, I'm coming to. He's like, I'm coming to get the tools and the, the material. She said, though she's not one you cross. She's like, the fuck you are. She took it and locked it in the house, locked it in the garage and was like, get the fuck out. You are not coming anywhere near. Barricaded like the driveway and shit.

[A]

Did you guys end up selling that shit?

[B]

Yeah. Then they turned around and they turned around and sold it to another company. Dude, we operate.

[A]

So you're the scumbag.

[B]

What do you mean he was over? Not, he was overpaid. He was the guy told you he asked for like 200 bucks. She was there, like, what the fuck? I just needed like 150 to get out, get through the day. He would.

[A]

I, you know, that'd be me. I'd be as if for lunch money. Straighten me out. You got a 20 on Little Bridge load.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, let's talk about factor.

[B]

Factor. Factor.

[A]

Let's talk about the factor. Delicious, nutritious, ready to eat food right out of the fridge, never frozen over there factor. Nape got a lot of choices over there. You got high protein, got calories, smart. You got Mediterranean diet. How do you think them Greeks are living so long? You know what they're doing?

[B]

Keeping it tight.

[A]

GLP1 support, which is what I got.

[B]

I, yeah, I need it because I.

[A]

Was having a little bit of an issue.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

With the, with the GLP1. I got the GLP1 support from Factor, smoothed everything out.

[B]

Plus two.

[A]

Can I say this?

[B]

Hit me.

[A]

Can I go off copy for a second?

[B]

Speak from the heart there, big man.

[A]

There's something about factor when you have them that they're not like over spiced. They're just they. After you eat them, you feel good.

[B]

Satiated.

[A]

Satiated, that's the word. Clean, quality, ingredients. You don't, you know that we love factor.

[B]

You don't feel that way after like eating a slice of pea field. You know, you start feel, I've eaten so much shitty pizza, you feel dirty and greasy and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But after factor, you go, it filled me up. It was the right portion. I'm not going to get fatter today. And that's the thing. Don't get fatter today. That's the ayg way. Don't get fatter today. That's really factor helps you cut that, clip it. Send that to the bank right here. Head to factor meals.com garbage50off and use the code garbage50OFF to get 50% off. Plus plus free brekkie for a year.

[A]

I didn't authorize that eat like a.

[B]

Pro this month with factor new subscribers only. Varies by plan. One free breakfast item per box for one year while subscription is active. Do it.

[A]

Do it, Kim. Let's talk about hollow socks.

[B]

Hollow socks.

[A]

Let's talk about hollow socks, which are great socks, but let's talk about bad socks for a second. Yeah, bad socks stink. Your feet are cold. Your feet are hot. Your feet are sweaty. Your feet are smelling. Let me introduce you to hollow socks, gang. We're talking about ultra soft baby alpaca fiber.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

We're talking that level of comfort. We're talking about thermo regulating. Three times warmer than wool. Moisture managing, durable, no itch. Knit. Need I say more? Do yourself a favor, pick up a pair of hollow socks. Tell them the boys sent you.

[B]

Yeah, I listen, I got a, I got a discount rack pair of socks on right now. It was like 80 pair for a nickel. Brutal. I got. I don't know if it's polyester or if the rubber. But these things, it's like the rainforest between my toes right now. It's going to ruin his pair of shoes. Ain't no coming back from that Girl weed in there. These things are so baby. They got everyday socks, they got hunt socks, they got trade socks, they got compressed. Whatever you need, they got you. For a limited time, Hollow socks is having a buy two, get two free sale.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

The best kind of buy one, get, buy two get to baby alpaca. Head to Hollow Socks.com today and check it out. That's Hollow Socks.com for up to 50% off your order. Hachi machi. After you purchase, they're gonna ask you how you heard about them. You can support the show and tell them the boy sent you. Do it. Yeah, it's taught, listen, it's tough to find, you know, that's a, that's a big thing. We have a lot of blue collar workers, obviously. Finding a, finding a good guys. Mechanics, roofers, plumbers, anybody. It's tough. And at some point you go, I'm willing to pay a little extra just for like the good. If you know, you get the good service when you don't want the cheapest guy, cheapest guy is gonna fucking take on me. Yeah.

[A]

Stuck with me. When you find one of those guys and you see how they operate and like see the work that they do and stuff like that, you realize you're not that guy. Like I don't do. I've known a couple my Christmas light just.

[B]

I'm not that guy, pal.

[A]

I've known a Couple of those guys, like the kitchen contractor that I worked for. This guy was meticulous. I don't take care of anything like that. No, nothing.

[B]

What he.

[A]

Everything was spotless. His house was spotless. He looked spotless.

[B]

But there is a thing that. Like the. You know, the kind. The construction workers house is always the shittiest house.

[A]

Nah, this guy was short because they.

[B]

Don'T want to get home and do it. I was like, that was the case with us. I mean, my. We had. We were missing outlet covers in our kitchen, dude. My brother put in some sink that was like a commercial sink. He put it in my mom's house because it was like, left over at the shop. Yeah, it was like a. Three bins, three compartments. She's washing glass pint glasses and. And sanitizing, rinsing. No, it wasn't that, but it was like. It was a. It was a sink from a job that didn't fit.

[A]

Commercial dishwasher. That would be sick.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I'd be washing dishes all the time.

[B]

It did, like, doing like 90 seconds steaming.

[A]

I've had my. I wash dishes for so long, dude.

[B]

I remember that was. I was thinking about that this weekend when I was doing dishes. But I remember my brother got a job at the same pizza. My first job me and my brother each had was four or five years apart, but at the same place. Old place called Santo Palato, Holland. Strip mall pizza place. And he was a dishwasher or something. I don't know if he was a dishwasher. I was a bus boy, but we worked five years apart. But he came home from working in a kitchen, and I was probably. He was probably 13, I was eight or whatever. He came home and started using really hot water to clean. Like, that's what he had learned. And, man, I thought he. I was like, you're like a dad, dude. This is, you know, this kind of stuff. Like, my mind.

[A]

I wonder for what.

[B]

Clean the dishes. Like, really hot. He's like, you gotta get it steaming. And I. My. My skin was too supple to touch it. And I was like, God damn this motherfucker. He be out there working, dog. Put in a full day. He came home, that was just like a different man. It was like he went to jail and came back. I was like, oh, you're no longer one of us. You got. You're like, you're locked into the workforce.

[A]

Got a rag over his shoulder.

[B]

Hey, Kip. Can't call it.

[A]

How's school going, huh?

[B]

Good? Yeah?

[A]

Yeah. All right. Anybody Bothering you over there?

[B]

Yeah, man, but all that's neither here nor there, gang.

[A]

We got a gosh darn business daycare.

[B]

Family episode on her hand.

[A]

Talking about your fucked up house.

[B]

Me up here talking. Yeah, there's some. There's a few things. I'm just not that handy. There's a lot of.

[A]

Come get the landscaper out there for the spring. It's gonna be a good.

[B]

I just. See, now you're breaking my butt. I just had them out there. We did a full cleanup, did a full mulching. We did the whole thing in the winter. Yeah. You haven't, first of all. Yeah, I mulched. Mulch the front yard, in the backyard. And then I shouldn't have done the backyard. And then the dog gets into it. He comes in all mulched up. Yeah, you gotta wipe him down.

[A]

I used to hate doing that.

[B]

Sucks.

[A]

Mulch dumped in the middle of the driveway. God damn, that sucked.

[B]

I would tell you. My dad got.

[A]

Ruining my Sunday.

[B]

My dad got it off his ass.

[A]

Belly full, eggs.

[B]

Dropped. All that. He got. He got Redstone. He wanted the whole front and backyard gardens to be that red stone. I remember using a snow shovel to put it.

[A]

Like you're in Shawshank and like.

[B]

Dude, it was one of those things. You take a shovel and you go, okay. But then it settles down. So you don't even see the progress. You're just. It's like. It's like you're digging to China.

[A]

Papillon sucked.

[B]

But listen, let's get into it here. Speaking of blue, this is very bad at blue collar, homeowner stuff. This is from yo mama Stinks. Longtime homie. Never had one. Red. Youse ever use a pair of scissors as a knife or a screwdriver? Fuck yeah, dude. Get if you can. Get if it's the right screw to get in there. That was something else. Good turn, good handle.

[A]

You ever see when somebody. Even when it's on wrapping paper, when they do the scissors and they. And they. And they open them up and get.

[B]

Some good coverage on that, man.

[A]

Fucking throat slitter. Love that shit.

[B]

Yeah. And then I. Yeah, I'm not. I don't have. I don't have good touch with any of that kind of stuff.

[A]

I was more of a butter knife guy when it came to screwdriver. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Get a nice. Get a nice flathead.

[A]

You're in there. That and. You know, it was always great when you couldn't find. I could get the bathroom door open pretty, pretty easily. You know, they had like the little circle. And usually the little poker was up, up on top of the thing.

[B]

That was another thing. When I with Danny Dave, all the locks to all the doors were up on top of that because it was a new house and we moved in 35 years ago. You're in there cranking your roof, dude. And I remember being in there weeding. I remember being, how the fuck you get in here? And he like. He likes opening a door. And I remember, you know, I'm like, what the hell? And I. I was too short and fat to jump up and get the thing, so he would put it back up there, man. I thought he was like, the fuck. He was like the warden, dude. He was walking up and down the hallway.

[A]

What are you doing in there?

[B]

Whatever. A little bit of private time. The. Yeah, it was lawless. My mom was at work. He was running this. She was the man of the house.

[A]

But you could take a Q tip and get it in there, pop that open.

[B]

We were a bobby pin once we realized.

[A]

Oh, love the bobby pin. Bobby pin. Paperclip fucking man. Take over a country with that shit. Fucking sneak in.

[B]

Real MacGyver.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All right, let's see here. This one's from Sticky. Vicki, is Scotchgard in your shoes so they don't get stained? A classy or trashy move.

[A]

I don't 100% understand or know right there with you what Scotchgard is.

[B]

I think I've seen one. I think it's like a clear spray. That's what I have in my head.

[A]

I know 3M does it right.

[B]

Scotch tape. I thought, no, like Scott. No, that's the same Scott. No, I realized it's a polymer. No, I know, but Scotch.

[A]

Oh, yes.

[B]

Scotch tape is clear tape. Scotch spray is clear spray made by the same company.

[A]

Scotch.

[B]

Scotch.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

What am I saying?

[A]

Nothing.

[B]

What? I'm not saying.

[A]

Lay off the fucking.

[B]

I'm in a huffing. A little Scotch guard. What do you got on Scotchgard? 3M branded aerosol spray that repels water, oil, and stains from furniture, clothing, rugs, and outdoor gear. Ear it says it doesn't affect the fabrics of breathability yet. Not. Dude, here's the thing. They always try to come out with a new shoe cleaner and shoe protective thing that they're always trying to push on you at a Foot locker. Specifically late 90s, early 2000s, with the brush on the.

[A]

On the cap.

[B]

Yeah, and that, dude. And nothing ever worked. And they'd be like, you spray it like this, and then they like, dump it in water and look at it. Dude. I remember getting a new pair of shoes. I got home, they sold me on that. It's just 7.99.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

To pre treat before it fucked my shit up. And then that's all I had. I only had. And then I had a fucked up pair of white Nikes and I had to, you know, had.

[A]

Had no give to them at all.

[B]

Dude. It's like walking with. You know, walking in wooden shoes. Dude. Yeah. Fucking sucked getting dunked on. So I was just like nev. The cleaner never fucking worked. And then they had like the plastic bristles and that would scratch it. I know. That would scratch them up. Nothing. It's so hard to clean shoes. Toothpaste worked really well with a toothbrush. Whitening toothpaste. Get your air force ones real clean.

[A]

What they use now to kids is the fucking Mr. Clean Magic. Shit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That stuff. I'll get rid of a body.

[B]

The magic, right. You know, it's just sandpaper, essentially. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Fine grit.

[B]

I know, but when that fucking. That stuff reaches a thing, when it starts breaking apart and rolling up, it makes my fucking blood run cold, dude. I can feel that in my bones.

[A]

That's like cotton balls.

[B]

I can't.

[A]

Touch cotton balls. Fucking skeeve me out. I don't know what.

[B]

What is. I feel. It's like a. You know how. Like a dog hears frequencies. That's how I. That's what I feel with that stuff.

[A]

Yeah. It's like chalk. That's. I used to get that with drywall. Touching drywall.

[B]

Yeah. I don't have it with drywall.

[A]

Bug me out.

[B]

Bug me.

[A]

I can't work.

[B]

That was very appalling. I don't touch the stuff. Tea.

[A]

Check out the lunch cart.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, listen, I've never seen anything that. Didn't I fuck my shoes up. I feel like anytime they. I never found any cleaner or protective thing that really, truly worked.

[A]

No.

[B]

When I really cared. Now I don't fucking 3M.

[A]

That's big. A big company.

[B]

I mean, people would Scotch guard like furniture and stuff. I feel right. Like. Yeah, you spray Scotchgard the couch. You would always.

[A]

I would always Scotch card breathing.

[B]

I don't think we never did that. But. But that's like how I. You know. Like that would be like the joke. Ah, you go over to fucking Aunt Toddy, she Scotchgards the chair and stuff like that.

[A]

I feel like families. The way it broke down is you had your cleaning products and then the rest of the world had theirs.

[B]

Great. Well put.

[A]

We did. My mom Did Windex.

[B]

Sure she did.

[A]

Pine Sol heavy.

[B]

The spray. No, Pledge. I'm thinking of. We were pledged.

[A]

Oh, she was a big pledge girl.

[B]

We were pledged.

[A]

She liked pledge and she liked a Murphy's Oil soap.

[B]

Yeah, we had all that.

[A]

Yeah. You know, Lysol disinfectant spray.

[B]

The og.

[A]

Yeah, that stuff I get you.

[B]

We have some in here. That's. Oh, man. You know what we were huge on, which made doing the dishes pretty nice. Box of sos pads.

[A]

Love them.

[B]

A fresh, fresh sos dude, you couldn't.

[A]

Tell me what the second use on those? It's like you're on u571. This thing's rusty.

[B]

Yeah, it's bad. That's a real bad.

[A]

Can't be good for you.

[B]

I don't know. That's so that, like powder that was like sprayed on.

[A]

So that stuff would get anything out. Get that all lathered up. My hands would smell like metal.

[B]

Well, like now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now with like the baby. It's like you. You go, oh, what's in this? Or what's this? And it's like. I mean, obviously it's like kind of a trope at this point, but like we were pro chemicals and pro plastic in the 90s to the point where like, you go, I don't know. It works. There's chemicals in it. It like that was scrubbing bubbles. Added chemicals, baby. Get. Get the one with the heavy by chemies.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Then now you're like, you're using fucking seven generation shit now. I got my fucking. My. I still have tomato sauce on my fork when it comes out of goddamn dishwasher.

[A]

Like a fucking patty's all about that fucking dawn power wash.

[B]

Man. You gotta love a good marketer that's going. How do we foam this stuff? Small battery, little mechanism. 70 year old housewives be slipping out of their stuff.

[A]

She makes her own little concoction with that apple cider vinegar, smidge of crack to get stains out. And she hangs them in the sun.

[B]

Good.

[A]

He's good.

[B]

And you produce a lot of stains.

[A]

I produce a lot of stains, man. I produce a lot of stains. I, you know, I get like, maybe like a month out of T shirts. Like, I'll buy a bunch of T shirts. 5, 6, 7 T shirts.

[B]

Never seen it, but okay, I. Dude.

[A]

I bought all them. I got all them true classics.

[B]

I might have been one time, I'll give you that.

[A]

I had like 15 of them. I had 15.

[B]

Numbers just doubled.

[A]

Listen, I'm gonna tell you. I'll tell you the truth.

[B]

Thanks.

[A]

I had 15 true classics that I bought, okay? They sat in my closet because I couldn't fit in them. Then I lost.

[B]

They were too big.

[A]

They were too big. I lost a little bit of a weight. Got into a 4XL. Been rocking them. You've seen them. Been rocking them. They're all stained up. All got a little something on there. And it's not the stain. Let me tell you folks something. It's not the stain itself. It's. You throw it in that wash without getting the stain out the first shot, it's over. Because once that shit dries, sets in the fibers and you're fucked. And you can't get it out. I sat in something in my jeans, like oil or something. Looks like I shit my pants, but I did.

[B]

If I got 20.

[A]

I mean that. The shit in your pants doesn't stain it. It's like stained like oil. Like I sat in olive oil. Weird. I had a fucking.

[B]

Are you. Are you around olive oil presses a lot?

[A]

No.

[B]

Or do you shit your pants? You shit your pants more than you're on an olive oil canning factory.

[A]

Unless I drank a bottle of olive oil, there's no way it would stain like this. Okay.

[B]

Okay, so.

[A]

Mm, sure, kids. Remember that.

[B]

Take that to the bank. Get a loan for $4 million to buy a strip mall.

[A]

Kevin. Let's talk about Hexclad, baby.

[B]

Hexclad.

[A]

Let's talk about Hexclad's patented laser etched steel hexagons. Give you a better searing than other pans.

[B]

You ain't lying, dog.

[A]

Dude, listen to that statement. Laser etched steel hexagons. That's what you're cooking on.

[B]

That's heavy. These are. Listen.

[A]

That's the. You're cooking in the future.

[B]

These aren't. These are heavy bike pots. Heavy bike pans. Not in the sense of they're above your pet. They're great for the house. They're good. You can't really mess them up. They good. A nice sear. Great clean. I cooked eggs on them this morning. Instead of using butter, I use super glue. They still didn't stick. That's what. Take that to the bank. How you doing? You can't get tape to stick to these things. I'm speaking in hyperbole, obviously.

[A]

Smelling on your breath.

[B]

Dishwasher safe and super simple to wipe clean after use. That makes me feel like a good cook when I'm cooking something. Just wipe it clean, put it back. You don't even have to get the water out.

[A]

Paper towel That's a good way to put it. You feel like a good cook.

[B]

Feel like. And listen, we're not. I'm not. But you feel like a good cook, baby. They got the 12 piece set. That's what I did. I bought it before they were a sponsor. That's how much I like these, you know.

[A]

By the way, Ramsey, big Hexclad guy.

[B]

And right now, for a limited time, our listeners get 10% off your order with our exclusive link. Just head to hexclad.com garbage support our show and check them out at hexclad.com h e x c l a d.com garbage make sure to let them know the boy sent you. Bon appetit. Let's cook with hexclad's revolutionary cook.

[A]

We're doing kid. What's talking about Cash App, baby. Did you folks know that Cash App just released a new status program for the way people actually spend money on Cash App Green? It unlocks new ways for you to pay, get rewarded and easily grow or manage your money or on your terms. Now, when you spend over $500, at least $500 a month with Cash App Card or Cash App Pay, you earn green status which unlocks benefits like up to $200 of free overdraft.

[B]

You don't need that.

[A]

Stop right there. $200 of free overdraft coverage. I'm in. Gang. Do yourself a favor. If you're not using Cash App, what are you doing?

[B]

Yes, turn everyday spending into status with Cash App Green. Download Cash App today or visit Cash App Cash App Slash new to learn more about this offer and great features. Launching now for a limited time, new Cash App Customers can earn $10 if they use the code CASH APP10 in their profile and sign up and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash Apps Bank Partners. Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton bank member fdic. Cash App Green overdraft coverage. Borrowed cash back offers and promotions provided by Cash App A Block Inc. Brand visit Cash App Slash legal podcast for full disclosures. Do it. Yeah. All right. This one. Great name. The Kensington Cruiser. Shout out to you. You know what the Kensington Cruiser is? A pair of white Reebok classics on.

[A]

Your way to get drugs.

[B]

My cousin Brendan, I showed up wearing them thinking I was the. And he hit me with a cool pair of Kensington Cruisers or something. Something. I was devastated.

[A]

Came in from the suburbs.

[B]

Yeah, but like they were brand new. I got them for like Christmas or so. So I was like. Felt really good. And I get there and he's like, snipe me. Rat bastard. Kensington Cruisers.

[A]

There's a world where we could have went the other way. Where we could both be wearing jean shorts, white socks.

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

I don't know. Could have been pill heads together.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I mean, there's. You know, if you look at my friends, there's a 90. It's. It's insane that I made it out without really getting into drugs.

[A]

I never thought about that. But if you were into drugs.

[B]

Yeah, you would have. We would have never met each other.

[A]

No.

[B]

Okay. If I was into drugs, half the amount I'm into booze.

[A]

I'm saying when we met, we did meet. Let's say we met. If you were into drugs, man, we would have been a lot. We would have never got here. We would have been a lot of. We'd still be at the Titan House in Philly.

[B]

To think we would be. Have. Be. Be on a lease together. Still, if we. And you were. Our main concern was just doing drugs. Get the fuck out of here.

[A]

Imagine if Kippy was about getting gear. We'd be all. We'd be all fucking squared away. Pimp you out a little bit.

[B]

Turn you out. Can't be my bottom bitch. Yeah, that's. It's good thing you're just an alcoholic. Well, at least it's socially acceptable. Of course, I learned the problem with drugs that I would have had with drugs, I think, is, like, you can do some pills, air, weed, and not like, you know, and go to work.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I can't have, like a six pack and then show up and wait tables.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You smell the fucking. You're drawing your drag. Had somebody. I don't give a fuck. I'm sitting at the bar having a cocktail. My tables are waiting for their check.

[A]

Do a little perk, a doodle, Wait a couple.

[B]

That's what I mean. That's when you know that's.

[A]

It's bad news.

[B]

It's bad news. Yeah. Looks like you got a stain going there, guy.

[A]

I still sweat.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It's fucking hot as shit in here, man.

[B]

She a little. Turn the heat up a little bit.

[A]

You can't.

[B]

All right, let's see here. Speaking. This Kensington cruiser, is it garbage to wash one dish out of a sink full of dishes? Only for. For what you need in that moment.

[A]

I respect it.

[B]

It's a dirt bag move. I've. I mean, everybody's had to do it. Every single person so lazy when it.

[A]

Comes to that stuff. I'm big on the. If the dishwasher. I think I asked. I might ask somebody this recently, dishwasher's clean, but I got a dirty dish. I'm throwing that dirty dish into the clean thing and just washing it again.

[B]

All for one dish?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's crazy. I mean, yeah, I understand it, but.

[A]

In my head it's like, well, you're double washing the dishes.

[B]

Yeah, I'm sure your head. You'll spin it any way possible. Yeah, that's like, I've done it. I've definitely done it. I did it this weekend actually. Where you're like, I did? Yeah, well, yeah, the thing. Some stuff was spotty.

[A]

I played dumb all the day. Fuck. I didn't know it was clean or dirty.

[B]

Well, Nadine was like, I. There was a little miscommunication between both of us. She's like, it's clean. I'm looking. I'm like, it doesn't look. There's not a hundred percent conclusive evidence. Your honor.

[A]

You turn into a general manager in Spain.

[B]

So yeah, I ran it again.

[A]

Nice. But I got fucked on that one time at Patty's. Not that long ago, but if there's.

[B]

Stuff still on it, it'll like double. That's like a twice baked potato. It really stays on there. That's the problem. You got. I got to take it out of the hand wash because that. That heat let that. Talk about a stain sitting.

[A]

I got fucked at patties.

[B]

What was his name?

[A]

Be a nice guy. Unload the dishwasher.

[B]

Oh yeah, that's you.

[A]

Yeah, I unloaded a dirty dishwasher, dude.

[B]

How. I never understood that I would lose it. How does it. How far. How do you make it that far?

[A]

Because she rinsed it. She has a rinse cycle. How the. I don't know. The shit was beeping so I unloaded it. Then you can't tell what's what. Whole places I'd have to move, dude.

[B]

My brain couldn't. I'd have to watch everything. I'd have to. I just. My brain couldn't.

[A]

That's what she did.

[B]

You gotta check for a little water, like on top of stuff. Yeah.

[A]

Am I a.

[B]

Seems like it.

[A]

She ran a rinse cycle. So the thing was beeping. It was done.

[B]

Yeah. You didn't check it?

[A]

Check what? You didn't check the smell. It had the lemonade.

[B]

Clearly didn't check the plates as you're putting them away.

[A]

They were clean. Theoretically. It was just rinse though. Who Runs just a rinse cycle, by the way.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

She get all this water?

[B]

I have to applaud you on bucking all responsibility from fucking up. I do gotta say that is a big man move right there.

[A]

I'm suing the dishwasher company right now.

[B]

KitchenAid and all of its affiliates. Dead Jenkins Plumbing. Who installed the. Who installed the dishwasher? Yeah. All right. Let's see here. This one's from Hot Dog. Jesus. When was the last time you sat in the back of a two door car? It's.

[A]

It's my. One of my biggest fears.

[B]

It's never gonna happen anymore. I mean, hopefully it happens again. But it hasn't happened since I've known you. No.

[A]

Who do we know is a two door?

[B]

It's gonna.

[A]

I don't know any private eyes. A two door.

[B]

Not hanging out at a Saturn dealership.

[A]

That weird seatbelt that comes up and gets you, man.

[B]

My buddy Liam had that. I didn't trust that they always. You want to sit and shotgun. Absolutely not.

[A]

Didn't you have to click your own.

[B]

Dude, I didn't get it.

[A]

You had to click your own waist, I think, right? Or was it just that thing I didn't trust. Slip right out of that.

[B]

I thought it was. I didn't think of that. I thought it was going to fucking strangle me. Fat ass up in the front seat. Start panicking. Look, look. Old school. You girls go do it. No, not for me.

[A]

But I used to always think if I was high in the back seat of a car like that. And you can like look up and look, look through the back window.

[B]

Oh, you're too far back, dude.

[A]

You feel like a Russian astronaut. And that. They'd never get me out of.

[B]

Everything gets slow.

[A]

They'd never get you out of there.

[B]

You're fucked. Jaws alike. They'd have to get the Jaws of life to get you out. That's a Denise. That is a Denise. You're gonna need the freaking jewels of life to get you.

[A]

I heard about the Jaws of Life for about 15 years before I actually saw them. I was like, that's it?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I thought it was a shark or something.

[B]

Yeah, a little slow moving. It's a set of. It's a big set of tin snips.

[A]

Where I come from, it's nothing that's pneumatic, man.

[B]

It don't move quick.

[A]

Hydraulics.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Get you out though. Of course, I'd rather have one of those big circular saws that the firemen have. Those things are sick And I don't cut me out with that. Live on the edge. Get me a out of here. I'd freak out. Sparks up.

[B]

It sparks up, it's a problem.

[A]

Oh, the car goes. Why don't we all go.

[B]

There you go. Take out a bunch of heroes with you. Rat one last jam up ruined seven families.

[A]

Spray some water on it like you do with a wet saw. Keep the sparks down. Throw some sand on it or something. Not waiting for the fucking jaws of life. Yeah. No, don't like riding in the backseat.

[B]

That. That was the jaws of life. And getting in the 90s, getting impaled and staying alive was always a big. Was always a big fear that happened in Merchantville. I remember my Merchantville, N.J. how he got through. Thrown through the windshield. Was big too. End up through the windshield. Thrown through the windshield.

[A]

Right through the windshield.

[B]

And it was always. It was. It was never feet. It was always in yard. 200 yards through, right to the windshield. 200 yards, quarter mile.

[A]

What did Aaron Rodgers throw him? What are we talking about? 200 yards. That's a launch, a big pass.

[B]

You go and feast. Do you get for speed without your seatbelt? Yeah. Getting impaled in like a raw. I remember a wrought iron fence.

[A]

Those things are dangerous. What the fuck did they ever have them for? Keep people out of castles.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

That shit stunk.

[B]

And yeah, they were impaled. They. Then they came and read him. It was either. They came and read him his last rights while he was on the fence. I remember being like, what do you say to a guy when you're waiting for the priest? I'd be like. I'd be like, fake checking the car.

[A]

So where are you going?

[B]

That. And they had to cut the fence out and he went to the hospital with the fence in them. That was always. Yeah, I'm getting nervous.

[A]

I've never seen you panic like that.

[B]

I'm nervous. Yeah. I was always the big one. That's. That's how they get you.

[A]

Ours was falling over a balcony. Fall over the balcony or the balcony breaking.

[B]

Sure. That happened to my cousin Sean. He's a listener. Shout out there. He fell off a deck, collapsed. Or he's something. One of those, like stories that you hear about. He was down the shore, 30, 40 people on a deck. Fucking went down. Or he went off the back. Something happened. I forget. Wasn't paying attention.

[A]

Is he cool now?

[B]

Yeah, he's chilling.

[A]

I know him.

[B]

I'm sure you've met him. Yeah. Comes to a bunch of shows.

[A]

Not Fucked up.

[B]

Doing pretty well.

[A]

Sup, Shawnee?

[B]

What's up, Shawn? A. A.

[A]

Now, Shawnee. Go Birds.

[B]

Go Birds indeed. Um, let's see here. Um, this one's from George Johnson. Never had one. Red lads. Hello. Is it garbage to take advantage of an open tab at a bar knowing the person whose tab it is went home hammered, then you live like a king for the rest of the night?

[A]

A friend.

[B]

100% a friend.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If you have that relationship with them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

100%. That was. I mean, that was pat for me. Here's my thing. If you get thrown out or if you're causing a scene for the rest of. That's, you know, you're at your duty to the group.

[A]

You stay and close out there Tab though, like a gentleman. Sure, I'll close out his tab. Put it on that card. I'll close it out.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was, you know. Yeah. So and so got bound. You'd get attacked. They threw me out or whatever. And you guys, I don't know. I'm looking in the back, I can't find you. Meanwhile, I got 15 fucking Jaeger bombs. Yeah, that's. That's only fair. I remember my boy Deli. He got kicked out of the Borgata and I had to go back and get him. We were going. We were down there for a bachelor party. We were going to a titty joint and we had all gentlemen's club, the gentleman's club. We didn't everybody try to separate him. And we were, you know. And then I got a call from the Borgata Poll or somebody was like, you got to come get him. So I'm like. And I was like, pretty. So I was sober enough, you know what I mean? Like, so I went back and they were like, either you. And I was like, fuck him. Let him. You know, I'm not coming to get him. And they were.

[A]

You have any cash on him?

[B]

They were like, it's either that or he's your. You know, he's going to jail. And you're like, all right. So I'm like, I gotta go back and get him. So I go back and get him. Like, well, you're now funding the rest of my night. I had to like, pull these. I mean, it was like. It was like a glass of water. I had to throw him in the back of the fees. Take that credit card, couple of dub skis out of the wallet.

[A]

Let it ride it over.

[B]

We hit Wawa, got an Uber.

[A]

But I always have. I always have the fear of.

[B]

Open.

[A]

Up a tab Leave it open. And then people coming up and saying, oh, yeah, put it on that guy's tab.

[B]

The fear, though. What are they gonna get? Two Michelob Ultras out of you sons of bitches. What? Look, it's not like someone's gonna be like, you know, give me the ribeye. And the Seafood Tower. You know, it's like they're gonna get like a couple of around the shots.

[A]

Yeah, fair.

[B]

You're not gonna know anyway if they're like, hey, it's $42 or $61. You're not gonna go, what the.

[A]

Be all fucked up.

[B]

I'm all fucked. I'm doing shooters.

[A]

Yeah, that's, I think, definitely acceptable.

[B]

I wonder. I. Bartenders comment or write in what is like, the. The courtesy. Because, like, sometime back in the day when opening up a tab was B. Now it's like, it's so common at this point. But before it was. I mean, back when I was banging, especially in college, it was mostly cash. Not that many people were opening tabs. So now it's like a fucking general now. Now to keep it open, they're like, they like, hand it back. Like, you're like, no, I want to keep it open. They're like, oh, people close.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah, people close it out, like, constantly. Oh, crazy.

[A]

Keep it open.

[B]

I don't want to do all that paperwork.

[A]

Run.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The Seafood Towers. I keep hearing about chef recommends for the boys.

[B]

Yeah. So it's like, I would just let. But there used to be, like, I would go say I was putting it on Pat's tab. Like, hey, can you go put it on Pat? And he'd be like, if they didn't know you were to get, you know, and you'd have to give some sort of, like, allude of, like, a hand up. Or can you put it on his tab over there? Like, you had to establish that you were together. Mm. I wonder what it's like now. Like, what a bartenders. Like, I just put it on any tag. Like, you know, could I want. Could you be like, hey, you're sitting next to me. Put it on Foley. I hear you say that, and then I just go, put it on Foley. I wonder how if there's any checks and balances on a bartender, I think.

[A]

They'Re usually, you know, they know who's with who, the recognized faces, all.

[B]

That's a crowded bar. I mean, yeah, sure.

[A]

Fuck, are we a crowded bars?

[B]

I'm not saying you specific. I'm saying bartenders in general.

[A]

Like a club like Red Oak or something. Yeah, what's it called? One Oak. Is that still banging?

[B]

I think so.

[A]

Really got to get down here, find out what it's all.

[B]

No, like our bartender. Is there any sort of due diligence to check or they just go, I don't. You said a name, I don't care.

[A]

I would err on you said a name, I don't care.

[B]

Great. Having fun with this. Okay.

[A]

Thanks for trying to answer you.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Technically, of course, as a former server.

[B]

You were never a bartender.

[A]

Day bartender, cleaning and waiter.

[B]

Yeah, that's mostly waiter.

[A]

No, we would flip flop me and this kid from Romania. First time I ever had garlic and eggs. You'd make garlic eggs and a little bit of spinach. It was pretty good. Got a big fight one day because he went behind the bar when I was bartender.

[B]

You didn't like that?

[A]

No, I didn't challenge my authority. I was also crashing pretty hard.

[B]

Hey man, either give me some more of that garlic or a couple of painkillers. All right, let's see here. This one, I mean, I don't live in this world, but this is from Chili Willy. When you're ordering something for store pickup.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Right. Like I guess from like a grocery store, a Walmart says more than a handful of bags.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Do you get out of the car and help them load it in? And also, do you tip these people? I'm not super familiar with this process. I've done it once or twice during COVID Curbside pickup. Curbside pickup.

[A]

I like a Walmart.

[B]

Walmart.

[A]

Never done it.

[B]

Never done it. I would assume tipping's probably in the checkout process. You want to add a two or three dollar tip or whatever it would be.

[A]

You throw them a 10. Something like that.

[B]

Something like that.

[A]

I'm the only thing, the only experience I have with it, I don't have experience with, but I. But it caught my attention when it started doing it. When Chili's or TGI Friday started doing that shit.

[B]

That was Earl. They were early picking it up. Applebee's did that.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Curbs. I remember getting pissed because they were taking up all the good spots at my local Applebee's. Fucking a whole front row got a.

[A]

Bad back over here. God damn veterans.

[B]

Yeah. All took all the good. I'm like, who the fuck?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because to me, Applebee's, obviously not good food, but it's in the mood. I mean, Apple that to me, was this a little bit of the start of the decline of.

[A]

Well, when they started doing that shit.

[B]

Not even of them. More of society. A bit in the sense of like, you're eating that shitty food. Go to Burger King. We have establishments, fast food establishments for this.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

But what do you want? A baked potato with sour cream and stuff like that and Jack Daniels steak.

[B]

You go, you. If you want that. There used to have to be a. You go in, I'm gonna go, I want this. There's some sort of barrier to entry to that. You don't get to eat a fucking steak and potatoes in your car. That's a job, right? That's a little. You put on a fucking pair of pants, a pair of shoes, and you go in any order.

[A]

You put it that way, right?

[B]

There's like a little bit we. We the barrier to entry to get that good, you know, better prepared food.

[A]

I'd kill for a baked potato right now. Some chives. Like some chives.

[B]

I told you. I made a shepherd's pie last week. Oh, yeah?

[A]

How was that?

[B]

It's pretty good.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

I froze it, came home, had it last night. Really?

[A]

Like a wedding cake. Happy anniversary, baby.

[B]

Two little fat guys on the top. Yeah. Which I did. I reheated it. Now, how. Okay.

[A]

Why'd you freeze it?

[B]

Because I was leaving. I was going to the burbs for a couple of days and it. I didn't want to. It wouldn't hold in the.

[A]

You want to roll the dice.

[B]

That's juicy down there. That's a lot of liquid.

[A]

I've been rolling the dice.

[B]

That's like. That's like swamp water, man.

[A]

I've been pushing expiration dates.

[B]

So here's my thing. Bad one. How would you go about reheating a proper frozen, like, Tundra frozen shepherd's pie? You take it out of the freezer, take the tin foil off. What's your move?

[A]

There's two ways you could do it.

[B]

Hit me. Because the one. And. Let's just put it. Put it. Let's just. You're really hungry. Let's. I don't have.

[A]

Well, you got two options.

[B]

I don't have two hours to bring this to temp.

[A]

In an oven. No way.

[B]

In an oven.

[A]

So 1. You eat it frozen.

[B]

I nibbled on some of the peas and carrots.

[A]

You gotta put it in a microwave.

[B]

I don't have a microwave.

[A]

Where?

[B]

In New York?

[A]

No, man.

[B]

The broad don't like it and I don't. Hat on. I don't. You're.

[A]

Order a pizza, dog. What'd you do?

[B]

I had some hard pasta.

[A]

No pasta and shepherd's pie.

[B]

No, I Was joking like I was eating.

[A]

I had what you could do. You get a little bit of water in a saucepan.

[B]

Water. Uh huh. That stuff takes so long. Dude.

[A]

You got no microwave. Dude. You're fucked.

[B]

Air fryer. Ah, here's my thing. This was like a dirt bag revelation I had. But then you can't. The bottom. The frozen bottom of a shepherd's pie isn't really conducive to. To maintaining shape and stature in an air fryer.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Specific as the bottom of the air fryer. Hamburger is a great. Exactly. And every. It's just. You've lost everything.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what?

[A]

I did put some tin foil down. I was first thought put some bread down, sop it up, take a big hot.

[B]

Sammy, what are you thinking inverted? No, but that was pretty. I didn't even think of that. I don't.

[A]

I still don't think it was down. Shepherd's pie. Pineapple cake.

[B]

Well, also I hadn't carved this thing out of ice, which I felt like I was making a fucking ice sculpture for a wedding. Dude. I had a fucking hammer and a.

[A]

Fucking tap it into the ice wall down in Antarctica.

[B]

Holy shit. Dude. I got a. Got pretty good at cutting chunk squares out. And you leverage it. You know what I mean? Dude, my steak knife was wobbling that. The fucking rivets on that thing were screaming, man. Put it in a bowl in the air fryer.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It was great. So nothing. It all stays in. And I would ma. I don't.

[A]

How long did you have to put in the air fryer for.

[B]

20 minutes at Nouveau.

[A]

Shit's no good, dog.

[B]

I had to put it at 980.

[A]

You need gamma rays.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Fucking the Manhattan Project.

[B]

Fifteen minutes maybe was just enough before I started losing it. I was.

[A]

I know a couple. I know there was a couple of cold spots on that thing, wasn't there?

[B]

Kip, buddy, you know me well. But you mash it. That's when you start mashing it. Use the heat from the other parts of the pie to infiltrate the rest of the pie.

[A]

Even everybody out.

[B]

Making everybody on the same plate. Every now and then you catch a cube like in there. Dog.

[A]

Fucking piece of lasagna.

[B]

Some of those carrots are cut a little too thick. I was in a rush.

[A]

That's all right though.

[B]

Yeah. That was a big thing of you can put a bowl in the air fryer. Blew my fucking Blew my brains off. Didn't know you could do that. Great. But to go back to you tip the guy. I would listen. I would Tip the guy, I'm assuming in the carry out, there's some.

[A]

A five couple.

[B]

But there's gotta be kids outside. There's got to be a choice of like, can you add two or three bucks to this? You know what I mean? Hit him with whatever the suggested thing is. I would do that. If not, get out and grease them, I guess. I don't know.

[A]

You gotta get out and grease them, I think.

[B]

I don't know if you help them though, do they?

[A]

Yeah, I could see that.

[B]

I can see both ways.

[A]

Yeah, you help them and you throw them a five.

[B]

Yeah, I don't know.

[A]

That's a lot of bad. That's a lot of fucking Jack Daniel Shrimp, though, I'll tell you that.

[B]

But also, like, if you're like an able body person, just go to the.

[A]

I don't know, people, people on time crunches. They got fucking appointments. They got kids, soccer practice.

[B]

This goes back to the stake in the fucking car. Then go when you have the time. You don't get. You don't get someone to bring you stuff just because you don't have the time. This is. We're cut. We're cutting out. We're cutting out. There used to be you got to go to the store. I got to go to the store. I single mom got the kid in the car. Hey, I don't want to load the kid in. Do that. Yeah, have them come out, do that. Pregnant. You have them come out, do that. Disabled mobility issues. Have them come out to that. If our fat asses are sitting there and some kids.

[A]

I got low mobility issues and low.

[B]

T issues too, from what I hear. And you bring. Yeah, if you. You got some kid putting in your car. What are we doing?

[A]

I don't know. That sounds very Kippy Rooney. What your take on this? What's the deal with curbside pickup? I don't like it.

[B]

Does it not make sense?

[A]

I can't leave my Christmas lights up all year, but you can pick up a gallon of milk at a Walmart.

[B]

It hasn't been all year. It's been a month and a half.

[A]

It'll be up all year if this guy don't resurface.

[B]

Yeah, it's up. Oh, I ain't getting on that goddamn roof, buddy.

[A]

That guy's fucking down in margaritas, stepping on pipe pops, whatever it's called.

[B]

I thought he was pushing daisies, if I was being honest with you.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I don't know older gentlemen.

[B]

I've never met him.

[A]

Huh? You weren't there when he did it? Look at you. Well, what's the deal with that? You got a guy come over, hold.

[B]

The ladder for him.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Yeah, you don't need to be there if there's. If he's doing outdoor service work, what's the deal with that retort?

[A]

Well, I could pick up my English muffins at Walmart. And the curb.

[B]

You got a guy bringing out just English muffins. That is the fattest shit I've ever. This one bag of English hands it to you through the window. Here you go, man. You gotta. You got a toaster going on the dash. That's wild. Oh, fuck me. All right, let's see here. We got time for one more. This is from Gunner.

[A]

Talk to me.

[B]

Ever bring your own sheets to a hotel? Growing up, my parents couldn't afford anything besides the cheapest hotels, and they didn't trust the cleanliness, so we had travel sheets. When we would get to the hotel, we'd strip the bedding off, throw them in the corner, and remake the bed with our home sheets. Only took about three minutes. I don't hate it.

[A]

I don't hate it at all. I bet it was probably so much more cozier.

[B]

You know, the sheet, it smells like your fabric softener from the house. It's like. And it's like new sheets. It's like new sheets on your bed at home. Like that.

[A]

Like, I used to love that. Every couple of weeks, Patti'd roll in with fresh sheets.

[B]

Really? Changing the sheets every couple of weeks.

[A]

Whatever she did, I don't know.

[B]

I was paying a lot, so ours were. We were burning and turning. We were like an Applebee's at happy hour. Dog burn. And that's pretty good.

[A]

That's not bad.

[B]

Especially at those seedy, seedy ones.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You go like. I don't fucking.

[A]

That's doing trashy, right, too. Shout out to your parents.

[B]

Yes. Because it don't cost any.

[A]

Keeping a little bit of class.

[B]

It doesn't cost anything more. Just a little bit more effort on your case. You got to get up and go in and get the steak in the potatoes. You go get your groceries, you change the sheet. Hey, just saying. I can't afford a Gallagher steakhouse, so I go to Applebee's, but I put my slacks on, my shoes, I tuck my shirt in, and I get my steak. That's all I'm saying. Think about it.

[A]

Making a little bit of sense. Plus, when you go in, you get the bread basket.

[B]

You get the bread basket. You have a cocktail you fucking. Everything's vibing. Like that's the thing they're selling. Is that fun in there?

[A]

They always fuck you on the bread basket. On to go. Stuff you never get because you're never going to.

[B]

They're not. You're not tipping them.

[A]

I used to love that about New York. New York diners. When you got the. When you got an entree, you always get an entree. It's soup, salad, two sides of veg. And they hit you with the fucking bread basket to go take it.

[B]

All right, we gotta wrap it up, gang.

[A]

We love you to death. Grab tickets to come see the boys on the road.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

What else? See you next week.

[B]

Peace.